Speaker 1: We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land we're recording
Speaker 1: on today.
Speaker 2: Am I fine with putting it in my own body? Absolutely?
Speaker 3: My body is fucked already, not his precious little body.
Speaker 3: Am I okay with him eating devon and sausage for
Speaker 3: every meal? Throat hypocrisy doesn't make sense?
Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to Eat Sleep, Ship Repeat, a
Speaker 1: wildly unhinged podcast all about the madness that is motherhood
Speaker 1: and everything in between.
Speaker 3: I'm Kiri Cells, I am Kaylee mccaren, and I'm so
Speaker 3: excited to have.
Speaker 2: A good old fashioned giggle today.
Speaker 1: Yee.
Speaker 3: Today's episode is a lull fest about shit we said
Speaker 3: we would never do before having kids.
Speaker 2: But first it's Key's turn for peak and pitch.
Speaker 1: Well, you're getting your wish because my pit today is
Speaker 1: really bleak.
Speaker 2: Okay, I said that for one week.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, but I actually denied as to
Speaker 1: whether I would share this on the pod because I
Speaker 1: just thought that maybe it was a bit too depress So,
Speaker 1: but I also feel like sometimes being honest about where
Speaker 1: you're at helps other people and maybe might even help
Speaker 1: me feel less shameful. I think yes, So basically for
Speaker 1: the last I would say month or two, my mental
Speaker 1: health has taken a massive dip, and I can't really
Speaker 1: remember a time where in recent times where I felt
Speaker 1: kind of like this depressed.
Speaker 2: Do you remember what.
Speaker 1: Spurred it kind of brought it on? Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: definitely maybe the miscarriage could have been the start of it.
Speaker 1: And then I think that, you know, kind of while
Speaker 1: I was healing from that, because stupidly, I never thought
Speaker 1: that I would have a miscarriage. I know statistically I
Speaker 1: could have. I just didn't cross my mind because things
Speaker 1: with Ruin conceiving and everything had been fine, and I
Speaker 1: was a little bit naive to this situation. And then
Speaker 1: it happened, and it took me a while to like
Speaker 1: get out of that because it was also a really
Speaker 1: long process, like I was waiting for my period to
Speaker 1: come back. It didn't come back to February, and then
Speaker 1: in February, my mother in law passed away really suddenly
Speaker 1: from an accident. And I just think like ever since then,
Speaker 1: I've kind of been like in a little bit of
Speaker 1: like mental free for all in that like I just
Speaker 1: can't quite catch my breath almost, it feels like and
Speaker 1: it's really hard, and I feel like I've reached my
Speaker 1: limit of like kind of stifling it. Like I'm basically
Speaker 1: on the verge of tears at all times. Maybe that's good,
Speaker 1: it is, but it's also like it's really hard for
Speaker 1: me to be like happy about anything. So so much
Speaker 1: stuff has happened, like just little things that I should
Speaker 1: be really proud of, and then inside I'm just like,
Speaker 1: because I'm in such bad headspace, I'm just so critical
Speaker 1: of myself more than ever before. And I'm naturally a
Speaker 1: pretty critical person of myself, and at the moment, it's
Speaker 1: just like insane the things I'm saying in my head
Speaker 1: to myself about everything. And the worst part about it
Speaker 1: is that it's affecting my parenting of Rue because I
Speaker 1: feel so depleted and like I just don't feel emotionally
Speaker 1: there right now, which makes me sad because I feel
Speaker 1: like she's missing out on the best parts of me.
Speaker 1: And it's a weird thing. Like I've always had mental
Speaker 1: health stuff, so I've always been anxious, you know, I've
Speaker 1: always someone that wakes up in the morning with like
Speaker 1: a little bit of dread. But you know, with like
Speaker 1: medication and seeing my therapist and things like that, I've
Speaker 1: managed that. And then obviously big life things have happened
Speaker 1: to me. But I think the difference in the things
Speaker 1: that have happened to me is that I don't know,
Speaker 1: they've been easier to kind of come to terms with,
Speaker 1: like my grandparents dying, for instance, they lived a really
Speaker 1: long life.
Speaker 3: I hate saying that because that doesn't make it any
Speaker 3: less sad.
Speaker 1: It doesn't.
Speaker 2: However, there is a big.
Speaker 3: Difference that is the way that we know and expect
Speaker 3: life to go.
Speaker 2: It doesn't make the.
Speaker 3: Impact any less horrible and devastating, but we expect it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we don't expect someone to have an accident, have an
Speaker 3: accident in their very early sixties.
Speaker 1: And that's what I think, Like I think also now
Speaker 1: I'm living really like just knowing how like fleeting life
Speaker 1: can be. You live a little bit differently, and you
Speaker 1: feel a little bit differently, And I just feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of the time I'm sad, but like I've
Speaker 1: always dealed with kind of like grief and sadness somewhat
Speaker 1: in a silo. Right, So with my grandparents, I was
Speaker 1: like grieving.
Speaker 2: You could compartment for myself though, right.
Speaker 1: But I think every day that I get up, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about Charlie's dad. I'm thinking about Charlie. I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about his sister, his brothers and Ruth and Rue.
Speaker 1: Like I'm grieving for so many people on top of
Speaker 1: my grief. It's just a really shitty time.
Speaker 3: And that was all on top of the physicality and
Speaker 3: the emotional loss of the baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like right after our wedding, like we're meant
Speaker 1: to be really happy. I mean, the good thing is
Speaker 1: is like we are. We've definitely hard ups and downs
Speaker 1: through this because it's really hard to both be grieving
Speaker 1: at the same time. And a lot of the time
Speaker 1: I think, like, it wasn't my mom, So it's difficult
Speaker 1: for me because like Charlie's not like now, Charlie's like no.
Speaker 2: It's not like he's it was my mom. No, But he's.
Speaker 1: Supported me for so long with different things that have
Speaker 1: happened to me. He's been my support system that I
Speaker 1: really want to be his support system. But it's also
Speaker 1: really hard, like for something that shouldn't have I think
Speaker 1: it's makes it so much harder to be able to
Speaker 1: like understand and make any sense of because it's senseless
Speaker 1: and it was your mom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you don't have your own mom. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: you've never had a mother figure before, so deb.
Speaker 2: Was your mom.
Speaker 3: She's been your family for seven eight years, a long time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she was that mother figure to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think she always like championed me as a mom.
Speaker 1: Like that was a bit of kind of like a
Speaker 1: realization I had with my therapist the other day was
Speaker 1: like I definitely was like worried about having a girl,
Speaker 1: and I had all of those things because you didn't
Speaker 1: have a good point of reference, I guess, and that
Speaker 1: mother daughter relationship. I was like, oh God, like, am
Speaker 1: I gonna be strong enough to kind of stop whatever happened?
Speaker 1: Tipping over into how I'm gonna then shape this little
Speaker 1: baby's life. But like Charlie's parents came. We spent a
Speaker 1: week in hospital after the C section, and Charlie's parents
Speaker 1: came for a week, and like dead would not stop
Speaker 1: saying to us, like, you guys are such amazing parents,
Speaker 1: Like you are such amazing parents, Like you've taken to
Speaker 1: it so naturally, And I would say all these things,
Speaker 1: and she would always say that to us. And I
Speaker 1: just feel like we're trying to have another baby, and
Speaker 1: I just feel.
Speaker 2: Like you don't have that cheerleader anymore.
Speaker 1: And I just feel like my confidence is gone because
Speaker 1: of it, and stuff I lope didn't worry about before,
Speaker 1: I'm worrying about now. And it just feels really hard
Speaker 1: and really heavy at the moment. So that's my pit.
Speaker 2: That's a really fucking shit.
Speaker 1: You know, it's really shit. I don't think I've just.
Speaker 3: God, you're such a special person. I'm getting upset because
Speaker 3: I don't think she's just so amazing. And my own
Speaker 3: parents have never told me that I'm doing.
Speaker 1: Well. No one had ever said that to me before.
Speaker 1: That was why I think it was life. Yeah, hear that.
Speaker 3: That just impacted me so much because go tell everyone
Speaker 3: you know that they're doing a really good job, because
Speaker 3: I mean, not if they're not.
Speaker 1: But don't be throwing it around. But if you.
Speaker 2: See someone and you think.
Speaker 3: Oh God, what a lucky kid to have those people's parents,
Speaker 3: tell them, well, what's the plan? Because you can't just
Speaker 3: like keep living in a flop.
Speaker 1: I feel like talking about it is a good thing.
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to up my therapy. It's a
Speaker 1: monthly at the moment, I think I might do it fortnightly.
Speaker 1: I mean, I even just feel a bit of relief,
Speaker 1: like talking about it and not keeping it as.
Speaker 2: A secret, you know, because you shouldn't.
Speaker 3: And when you said that you're on the verge of
Speaker 3: tears all the time, and I said, maybe that's a
Speaker 3: good thing, but letting it out actually helps so much,
Speaker 3: and having a good cry.
Speaker 1: Sometimes cries are good.
Speaker 3: The other day I had an absolute meltdown. I was
Speaker 3: bowling myyes at, I was screaming, I was shouting, I
Speaker 3: was throwing tantrums about so many different things. And then
Speaker 3: after like I Simon, down goes.
Speaker 1: Do you feel better?
Speaker 2: Even though he copped it, and I.
Speaker 3: Was like, I, actually, yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: Do you?
Speaker 2: Also then I got my period and I was like.
Speaker 1: Oh that on.
Speaker 3: But you can't continuously bottle everything in.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And also I hate small talks so much, so when
Speaker 3: I see someone, i'd much prefer they have a cry
Speaker 3: and tell me what's actually going on in their life.
Speaker 2: Then tell me it's very cold at the moment.
Speaker 3: We fucking know it's cold, or tell me what's going
Speaker 3: on in your life.
Speaker 1: That's how I knew that it was bad, was because
Speaker 1: like I was seeing people and going and crying, which
Speaker 1: is so unhid, which is not me. No, like I'm
Speaker 1: a Fort Knox usually, like I've dealt with stuff before,
Speaker 1: Kelly do Yeah, he stop crying all the time. It's fine.
Speaker 3: Ever since I was healed in in Balle. Can we
Speaker 3: move on to your peak there.
Speaker 2: On your peace?
Speaker 3: Firstly, it won't be cold, it won't be cold, because
Speaker 3: that doesn't help.
Speaker 1: We booked our honeymoon, so we are going I'm sorry
Speaker 1: September for three four weeks.
Speaker 3: He didn't even get a chance to tell me. I
Speaker 3: just message and goes, hey, where are you going? Because
Speaker 3: it was in like this document.
Speaker 1: This document for like podcast host leave and I was like, shit,
Speaker 1: I was gonna tell you.
Speaker 2: I just want to know where you're going.
Speaker 1: So we booked it. We're going to London. A friend
Speaker 1: of ours is getting married heaven, yeah really curiously's wedding,
Speaker 1: and then they're doing like a buddy moon in Sicily,
Speaker 1: and then we're going to go spend hopefully a week
Speaker 1: with my god parents in the Netherlands because.
Speaker 2: They live there in Amsterdam.
Speaker 1: Will they live in like a little cottage, a little village,
Speaker 1: I should say, But we'll travel around. You can go
Speaker 1: from one side of the Netherlands to the other. End
Speaker 1: of the day, Oh, that's really cool. The only other
Speaker 1: thing is we're flying out of Paris to come home,
Speaker 1: so we'll have a night or two there. So I
Speaker 1: really want to do a crazy horse that burlesque show
Speaker 1: that they do to Paris.
Speaker 2: Never I've never been to France or Italy.
Speaker 1: I've been to France. I went to like Bordeaux when
Speaker 1: we were there for our thirtieth and we like we
Speaker 1: actually stayed in a giant wine vat that they'd converted
Speaker 1: into like a little mini Airbnb thing in the middle
Speaker 1: of that so cool. It was so sick, it was
Speaker 1: really cool. So yeah, that's just our loose plan we'd
Speaker 1: like to do, like just get a villa somewhere and
Speaker 1: just set up in a little town, but like very
Speaker 1: scaled back because we're taking Rue. So she's gonna be
Speaker 1: She'll be fine. It'll be fun. It'll be a different
Speaker 1: kind of trip. But I'm quite excited for it because
Speaker 1: I think by then, I think she'll be fine, Like I.
Speaker 2: Actually be fine.
Speaker 1: She's so.
Speaker 3: Happy and chilled, not chilled chilled in the way like
Speaker 3: she's just happy doing what you guys are doing. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you can take her out to dinner and she'll just
Speaker 3: like chat to people and play and like, yeah, exactly
Speaker 3: get there.
Speaker 1: And so and I'm hoping because we're going to be
Speaker 1: doing a lot during the day, like she'll be shattered,
Speaker 1: we can go out for like a late dinner and
Speaker 1: just have her in the pram and transfer later. Like
Speaker 1: we're going to just kind of let it take us
Speaker 1: where it goes and not be too caught up with.
Speaker 2: Routines or naps in that.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, like she can nap on me. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: on Charlie probably. I can't really carry her anymore in
Speaker 1: the how.
Speaker 2: She's quite heavy. And yeah, she'll still go on the carrier, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she will, so we just put it on the back,
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then they can see everything. You can still
Speaker 3: go on hikes that.
Speaker 2: Way, man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it'll be really fun. So that is just yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a nice peek.
Speaker 2: I'm so excited for you.
Speaker 3: I'm not excited for the flight, although she should be
Speaker 3: all right, but like I hate flying in general.
Speaker 1: So good thing is you'll have her own seat. I think,
Speaker 1: like you know, when you don't have to pay for
Speaker 1: them and they sit on your lap, Like the bigger
Speaker 1: they get, the more annoying it gets. Like I think
Speaker 1: them having their own seat, you can kind of set
Speaker 1: them up a little bit. We'll get one of those
Speaker 1: inflatable things that you put on the floor so it
Speaker 1: makes like a little bed for.
Speaker 2: The cute yep for twenty four hours.
Speaker 1: So well, hopefully, she'll say, hopefully, hopefully. I'm preparing for
Speaker 1: the worst and hoping for the best.
Speaker 3: So today's episode is a very nice, light episode. It
Speaker 3: is designed to make you laugh and feel better about
Speaker 3: your own choices as a parent, because my word has
Speaker 3: parenting turned me into an absolute full of shit fear
Speaker 3: buck with a nice side turving of hypocrisy.
Speaker 1: If you will, we're gonna be chatting about all the
Speaker 1: things we said we'd never do before having kids and
Speaker 1: reveal whether or not we're stuck to that rule. And
Speaker 1: I would like.
Speaker 3: To preface my list of stupidity with a disclaimer that
Speaker 3: I am aware I was an evangelical fool who had
Speaker 3: no idea and I've been absolutely served my smug ass
Speaker 3: Yeah on a steaming pile of loll Yeah.
Speaker 1: I didn't say a lot of mine out loud, so
Speaker 1: I feel confident that other people didn't realize how stupid
Speaker 1: I was before and how judge you I was before
Speaker 1: having a baby. But yeah, now I'm about to tell everyone. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm a bit nervous.
Speaker 2: I can't wait. So we're gonna should we take it
Speaker 2: in turns?
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's do it all right.
Speaker 2: First things first, this is one that.
Speaker 3: I use to try to get shitter submissions when I'm
Speaker 3: a parent. I will never let my kid eat McDonald's.
Speaker 3: Why and how did I think I was going to
Speaker 3: get away with that?
Speaker 1: Well, I too had the same kind of thought about it.
Speaker 3: In my defense, the reason I have that rule over
Speaker 3: other forms of takeaway is because of those viral videos
Speaker 3: you've seen where they do the experiments where like the
Speaker 3: food doesn't even disintegrate or grow moldy, like not even
Speaker 3: moldile attach itself to McDonald's. So I just am like,
Speaker 3: I don't care if you eat shit. I just don't
Speaker 3: want you eating McDonald's. So even though that is a
Speaker 3: bit of a lull, he's had it twice and he
Speaker 3: just had a few chippies.
Speaker 1: That's the same as Rue. I actually did get her nuggets.
Speaker 1: Because we've really fucked up our drive from Sydney to Brisbane.
Speaker 1: We just like left late and then we decided not
Speaker 1: to go to one place where all the food places were.
Speaker 1: And so we had one of those servos that we
Speaker 1: had to stop off and that I only had a McDonald's.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I need her to eat
Speaker 1: to go to sleep. So we got her like a
Speaker 1: happy meal and nuggets because she loves chicken nuggets. She
Speaker 1: wouldn't eat the chicken nuggets.
Speaker 2: She was like, these are not nuggets. She was like plastic.
Speaker 1: She literally like bat it out of my hand. It
Speaker 1: was like grows. But she nummy, yummy the chippy.
Speaker 2: And that's the thing.
Speaker 3: The first time it happened was we often have McDonald's
Speaker 3: because I love McDonald's. You don't strike me as a
Speaker 3: McDonald's person.
Speaker 1: I was trying to pretend that I was for I
Speaker 1: was like, I just go with it.
Speaker 2: No your face, you're a bit of a food stop.
Speaker 1: I'm not a food but they don't have like gluten.
Speaker 2: Free off no.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Fair.
Speaker 3: But also even Charlie, he doesn't strike me as a
Speaker 3: McDonald's person.
Speaker 1: No, he's more of Bernando's guy.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah, that's very bond.
Speaker 1: If you both no.
Speaker 3: Chicken, Domino's and McDonald's getting into it.
Speaker 1: They they do.
Speaker 3: They do really good vegio options. Anyway, we just thought
Speaker 3: we'd get it. He'd already had dinner, obviously not. He
Speaker 3: saw it and was like, give me some of those.
Speaker 1: I think I remember. I think you put it on socials.
Speaker 3: No, I think I just sent it to you, being
Speaker 3: like loel. I was like, I'm not putting this on
Speaker 3: socials anyway. I have now because I'm just it's happened
Speaker 3: twice now where he's been like, I've spot those chips.
Speaker 3: And then I tried to trick him. I made him
Speaker 3: some crappy oven chips.
Speaker 1: Oh no no, and then like.
Speaker 3: Got his little box, like the little chip packet thing
Speaker 3: and put like some McDonald's chips in, but mainly the
Speaker 3: oven chips. He's not dumb. My kid is not dumb.
Speaker 3: He did not fall for that trick. He ate around
Speaker 3: the oven chips and then put.
Speaker 1: Held it out of me and he's like, more more
Speaker 1: of the good ones. Don't give me this ship in there.
Speaker 1: I don't contribute to that bad at all. They don't grow,
Speaker 1: mold or go off.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's disgusting, Keith, Yeah, yeah, am I find with
Speaker 3: putting it in my own body? Absolutely, My body's fucked already,
Speaker 3: not his precious little body. Am I okay with him
Speaker 3: eating devon and sausage for every meal?
Speaker 2: Though hypocrisy doesn't.
Speaker 1: Make sense, it's not meant to make sense. Okay. None
Speaker 1: of the parent was in my.
Speaker 2: Head, and that's what it is. All right, your turn.
Speaker 1: Well, I think you know this from when I message
Speaker 1: you frantically, probably about I want to say, maybe two weeks, yeah,
Speaker 1: two weeks and two weeks in never will I ever
Speaker 1: co sleep with my baby?
Speaker 3: Well? You know what also is dangerous not sleeping yourself
Speaker 3: and then falling on your baby or being in a
Speaker 3: car accident.
Speaker 1: Well, and also I didn't realize there was a safe
Speaker 1: way to do it, and you sent me that.
Speaker 2: What's it called the safe seven? The safe seven?
Speaker 3: Basically I was a shitter through and through from day
Speaker 3: one because he sent messages to some of her other
Speaker 3: friends and no one even responded to her.
Speaker 1: No one responded to the Hey does anyone coas sleep?
Speaker 3: Because there was crickets. She messages me. Within two seconds,
Speaker 3: I'm like, fuck, yeah, I do. Here are all the
Speaker 3: resources that I follow on Instagram to do it properly,
Speaker 3: which I wish someone had sent to me. Yeah, totally,
Speaker 3: because we used to do it so unsafely because we
Speaker 3: just fall asleep holding him.
Speaker 1: Well. I think a lot of people do that inevitably
Speaker 1: because they're so.
Speaker 3: Tired, exactly mattress, no bedding, seeing the cuttle curl sea
Speaker 3: around them, no alcohol, no cigarettes. If your breastfeeding, it's
Speaker 3: even better. I don't know why, but apparently it is,
Speaker 3: probably because, like you.
Speaker 1: I think they just grab the boob and self settle.
Speaker 1: And that's why a lot of people do it, so
Speaker 1: they don't have to like get up, get up.
Speaker 3: Well with my best friend, with her first I think
Speaker 3: I've told this story before, like everything was so by
Speaker 3: the book and safe. With the third she didn't even
Speaker 3: co sleep safely. He was in the bed with her,
Speaker 3: with the blankets and everything. She just slept without a
Speaker 3: top on, and he just found her tit in the
Speaker 3: middle of the night, which I've never slept better.
Speaker 1: He doesn't even realize he's breast feading. That's a dream,
Speaker 1: oh dear. Yeah, so you coasleep, I do, and I
Speaker 1: do recommend it four people that have difficult sleepers or yeah,
Speaker 1: I often too. Yeah, And I think like those moments
Speaker 1: also fleeting.
Speaker 3: I think it's so fleeting. He's not going to be
Speaker 3: thirteen and in bed exactly.
Speaker 1: And I just wonder, like, when I have a second
Speaker 1: I'm probably going to be much more looser, because I
Speaker 1: know how fleeting those moments are. You know, I can't
Speaker 1: believe I was like so obsessed with like six months,
Speaker 1: I'm moving her into her own room and then she
Speaker 1: will be in her own bed.
Speaker 2: Sleeping through the night forever.
Speaker 3: Why, Yeah, that's so unrealistic. Lenny ends up in bed
Speaker 3: last night. He didn't, but that was the first night
Speaker 3: in five nights because he was sick. Sometime, if he's sick,
Speaker 3: I don't even bother putting him in his own bed.
Speaker 3: He just goes straight in hours. Otherwise, he often wakes
Speaker 3: up and just wants to come into a bed. In
Speaker 3: the winter, it's quite nice.
Speaker 2: He's a whole water bottle.
Speaker 1: He's a whole water bottle. That kicks me. But still,
Speaker 1: Charlie was like, I was being a martyr on Monday
Speaker 1: morning and I was like, oh, I was up for
Speaker 1: an hour last night with ru And He's like, what
Speaker 1: do you mean? What did you do? And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I was trying to resettle her, wasn't.
Speaker 2: I was like, don't bother with that, Just bring her in.
Speaker 1: She's in a face. Just bring us raight into bed.
Speaker 2: She's a hot water bottle. She just wants this.
Speaker 1: My mutterring didn't work. He's just like, you're a dumb ass.
Speaker 2: Why the fuck did you not just bring her in?
Speaker 1: I was sleeping real good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Luke said that He'll be like, because Lenny and
Speaker 3: I had a little staycation at my parents'.
Speaker 1: House recently, so curtly met the puppy.
Speaker 3: He did meet the puppy, and he slept with me
Speaker 3: all weekend because he had a chest infection, so I
Speaker 3: had to settle him a lot.
Speaker 2: Fuck he frothed it, and Luke.
Speaker 1: Was like, I love sleeping with him.
Speaker 2: He missed us both in the bed.
Speaker 1: I read, yeah, yeah, you do miss it. I did
Speaker 1: read this thing. I can't remember where it's from, but
Speaker 1: was like, well, the only culture in the world that's
Speaker 1: obsessed with getting our babies to sleep independently and by themselves.
Speaker 2: Which is just so ridiculous.
Speaker 3: There are so many parts of the world where they
Speaker 3: can't afford different beds in different rooms. Like, it's such
Speaker 3: a ridiculous notion, And I'm saying that there is a risk.
Speaker 2: There is always a risk babies do die.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they do, but it's always because of external things
Speaker 1: like alcohol.
Speaker 2: My dad was a paramedic for forty years.
Speaker 3: He never once went to a job where a mother
Speaker 3: rolled on her baby, yeah, or suffocated the baby. He
Speaker 3: went to syds, He went to many other accidents. He
Speaker 3: never ever went to a job. Yes, it could happen.
Speaker 3: And you see horror stories on TikTok, and then you
Speaker 3: see pediatric doctors going, I would never go sleep. Okay, Well,
Speaker 3: you've clearly never been into a position where you've had to. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and you see the horror stories, don't ever judge someone.
Speaker 3: Next up, when I'm a parent, I will never put
Speaker 3: up fucking wall decals.
Speaker 1: Well, it was literally the first thing you did. Wasn't
Speaker 1: the first thing I did.
Speaker 2: But there is one there footage of me.
Speaker 3: I made a funny, like stupid little meme about it because.
Speaker 2: I did a nursery tour.
Speaker 3: There was no nursery literally like a day before I
Speaker 3: went into labor, and I was like just making fun
Speaker 3: of people.
Speaker 2: Where, oh, oh, here's my nursery aal setup. When's the
Speaker 2: baby moving into that room?
Speaker 1: Sis? And I was like, oh yuck.
Speaker 2: I would never be one of those moms.
Speaker 1: That puts up fucking wall decals.
Speaker 3: And then I like, just cut to me with Lenny
Speaker 3: in his carrier and I'm just like sticking some leaves
Speaker 3: on the wall.
Speaker 1: You really were mumming that day?
Speaker 2: They are cute, so cute.
Speaker 1: I still haven't.
Speaker 3: Like my sister's got proper alphabets and shit on the walls,
Speaker 3: and I'm like.
Speaker 1: That's really cute. I would never do that, but I
Speaker 1: think it is cute. I'm very like UK Garden party
Speaker 1: but in the room. Yeah, what's that stuff called? But
Speaker 1: like the what's it called?
Speaker 2: The bent bent bunting bunting?
Speaker 1: I need to have another step from my coffee bunting.
Speaker 1: I've got like, you know, cutoffs of like that Liberty
Speaker 1: London print that's been made into Yeah, I just love that.
Speaker 2: You're so particular though, but.
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, you can't come over my coffee tables
Speaker 3: on my dining room table.
Speaker 1: Oh but you can't have Okay, here's one. Let them
Speaker 1: watch the Wiggles.
Speaker 2: Why.
Speaker 1: I just see how obsessed kids get with it. Those
Speaker 1: songs are annoying. They know they are annoying.
Speaker 2: We need no I'm not headphones.
Speaker 1: Yeah I know you say that, but like I don't
Speaker 1: know where. There's just something about the Wiggles that get
Speaker 1: so obsessed. I don't want to go to a Wiggles
Speaker 1: live show.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't. I just make Luke do it.
Speaker 1: But they, oh, yeah, that's a good point. But Ady
Speaker 1: Sadie Wiggle, it's too much. I mean, I have, of
Speaker 1: course played it for her on occasion, but I found
Speaker 1: other ship because I'm like, I don't know, I want
Speaker 1: our house to have like our music. Is that a
Speaker 1: monstery thing to say? Name also so unrealistic.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna put on a record on mom's new record player,
Speaker 3: but she fucking loves deep house and she's like daddy song,
Speaker 3: Daddy song, and he puts his hair rabou.
Speaker 1: Yeah, every morning the speaker comes out.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: It's like all these different things. She's just like eat,
Speaker 1: toughing down, Weepex new record five in one sitting and
Speaker 1: it's just like they're going like I love that she
Speaker 1: loves it, and I think it's just like I know
Speaker 1: I'm a monster. I'm not judging anyone else, but I'm
Speaker 1: just like I do feel bad because all the kids
Speaker 1: are like Blowie Blowey, and Rue's like, who's bluey?
Speaker 2: What about Mickey Mouse. We're in a Mickey Mouse face.
Speaker 1: I don't put any of that shit over her.
Speaker 2: The Mickey Mouse the cop house is very educational.
Speaker 1: But am I a monster? Though? Okay, real top? Am
Speaker 1: I a monster? Because I don't show her this stuff?
Speaker 2: Oh god no, I'll show her.
Speaker 1: No monster. I do feel bad, but.
Speaker 2: She will find it anyway at some point.
Speaker 1: And then she asked for it. They ask for it daycare,
Speaker 1: like they play all them like she knows the songs.
Speaker 1: And when we're on car rides, I play the Wiggles music.
Speaker 1: I just have a thing about that's fine watching it,
Speaker 1: like listening to it in sitchu tick tick, listening to
Speaker 1: it in the house, watching it. No, fine.
Speaker 2: I don't think you're monster at all.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: When I'm a parent, I will never buy my child clothes,
Speaker 3: let alone nice clothes. Why because, like it's so small,
Speaker 3: they grow out of everything so quickly, and they shit
Speaker 3: on everything or get pain on it.
Speaker 2: Why would I spend my money on kid clothes.
Speaker 1: We need to superimpose the picture of Lenny in the
Speaker 1: outfit that he met ruin. Do you remember it's like
Speaker 1: a little sailor outfits all.
Speaker 2: He couldn't walk he couldn't walk, he had shoes on?
Speaker 1: Or was that my baby shower?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: That was your baby shower? And was he also wearing
Speaker 2: a jaunty fedora.
Speaker 3: Hat? There was a hat as part of the suspenders.
Speaker 1: If you will, there was suspenders.
Speaker 3: Let's just superimpose a bunch of photos about Lennie's style evolving.
Speaker 3: I actually said to my sister at one point. I
Speaker 3: mean I was half joking like, oh my god, just
Speaker 3: wrap them up in news paper.
Speaker 2: Like and my sister's like, they're not fish and chips.
Speaker 3: And she would say that she was going shopping for
Speaker 3: her baby, and I still was like, why would you
Speaker 3: waste money on baby clothes and things for your baby?
Speaker 3: Hand me downs are fine and get a gry Yeah,
Speaker 3: hand me downs are amazing. Who nine times out of
Speaker 3: ten when I go to the shops and when I'm
Speaker 3: shopping online, we'll purchase something for old Leonard not his
Speaker 3: actual name, and not myself these days because I'm like,
Speaker 3: who has his summer capsule wardrobe ready and raring to go?
Speaker 3: I sent Keith photos.
Speaker 1: And I was like, where are you guys going nowhere?
Speaker 2: Just got his outfits ready, including like little.
Speaker 1: Thing he's got a passport, he's got the wardrobe. You
Speaker 1: need to book a trip. I know you've got.
Speaker 3: Two out of three do but yeah, so I love shopping,
Speaker 3: and I also like buying him nicer things. Not for
Speaker 3: daycare obviously, but of course, look I wait till they're
Speaker 3: on special.
Speaker 2: Most of the time I.
Speaker 1: Did have on my list before it had her that
Speaker 1: I would say, I don't want to spoil her because
Speaker 1: I felt like I grew up not having a lot,
Speaker 1: and I turned out I'm not as like I don't
Speaker 1: need heaps of stuff, you know, and I know that
Speaker 1: she is growing up a lot better off. So I
Speaker 1: wanted her to understand the value of things, and so
Speaker 1: that meant like, I'm not going to buy her stuff,
Speaker 1: like really, But then after we lost deb who was
Speaker 1: the person that would buy her spoil her everything? I
Speaker 1: bought this today, I said a pick was like a
Speaker 1: little mini shopping cart. Loss, let's stop it. And I
Speaker 1: just thought, she doesn't have a grammar anymore. So I'm
Speaker 1: going to say in February, things really ramped up for
Speaker 1: me spending and you know little mini sombers, Oh.
Speaker 2: You didn't, Yeah, I got them for for a birthday.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you weren't there, that's right. She you
Speaker 1: never come to the birthday parties, but I got her
Speaker 1: little minisumber.
Speaker 2: Oh do you have matching ones? No, you don't even
Speaker 2: know your child does.
Speaker 1: And she's gonna wear them for approximately one season.
Speaker 3: Yes, literally, who's ninety dollars shoes for a child?
Speaker 2: They're not actually probably orthopedic, they actually are.
Speaker 1: That's what got it off over the line for me,
Speaker 1: because they are orthopedic. Approve.
Speaker 2: Can you wear them to daycare?
Speaker 1: No, she's wearing the new balance, afforded all the new
Speaker 1: balances to day care. Okay, And she's wearing the Salmers
Speaker 1: on the weekend. Okay, Well he's not ny dollars though.
Speaker 3: You kind of want them to wear them every day.
Speaker 3: But then they get paint on them.
Speaker 1: It's not like the paint you can get out. They're
Speaker 1: like you, it's w washable paint and it's not, well shit,
Speaker 1: I've soaked it three times. And when it's not coming.
Speaker 3: People, I draw the line on like things that are
Speaker 3: actually stained. Like I'm fine sending him to day care
Speaker 3: and like hand me down to old clothes, but not
Speaker 3: stuff that's actually got paint all over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like he has a home he really.
Speaker 1: Does anyway, Sorry I did cut in there with that.
Speaker 1: Next all right, here we go. When I'm a parent,
Speaker 1: I will never be on my phone in front of them,
Speaker 1: I reckon. One of the first things route did was
Speaker 1: to be helpful, was to give me my phone, pass.
Speaker 2: It to me here, mama, mummy's phone.
Speaker 1: And like, I also don't really understand this because who
Speaker 1: talks on their phone holding their phone up to their ear?
Speaker 1: But she would make it. I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know because I'm not doing it, Like I'm always.
Speaker 2: Talk on the phone anyway, but then she never holds.
Speaker 1: It up as if she's on face. That is ninety
Speaker 1: nine percent of what I do on my phone.
Speaker 3: And can you to do that when we don't actually
Speaker 3: talk on the phone like that?
Speaker 1: And look, I was adamant on this point. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be in my phone, Like this
Speaker 1: is disgusting. I've got it.
Speaker 2: You're missing out, You're missing out what is happening in
Speaker 2: front of you. And then your child will think that
Speaker 2: the phone's more important than you.
Speaker 1: But you know what, especially when their newborn's a bit boring,
Speaker 1: until they can like roll, I don't think you can.
Speaker 3: They're newborn. So I mean like when they're like old
Speaker 3: enough to understand.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it all went out the window of the stage.
Speaker 1: So your job.
Speaker 3: I'll always be like, Luke, get off your phone in
Speaker 3: front of Lenny and looks like you're always on your phone,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, firstly, I hide it, so I'm like
Speaker 3: really sneaky. If Lenny's sitting on me, I'll do it
Speaker 3: like behind.
Speaker 1: I'm not at all so in her face about it,
Speaker 1: like it's my job.
Speaker 3: You can do it too when you're paid, when you
Speaker 3: can pay the bills from being on your phone.
Speaker 1: Bro, It's so true girlfriend, so true. Yeah, I do
Speaker 1: feel like I want to work on that because it's
Speaker 1: obviously not setting in the greatest example. But I'm human
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, and if that's my
Speaker 1: one vice, it's not probably a million, But if that's
Speaker 1: the one vice that I can identify, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: like freak out about it right now.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm just careful, Like if he's trying to show
Speaker 3: me something, I'll pay attention.
Speaker 1: That's the stuff, right, It's like, I'm pretty good if
Speaker 1: she's like playing independently or something, or she's watching something
Speaker 1: on TV and I'm just like, did, Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: that's fine. What I want to do is just like
Speaker 1: when she gets home from daycare. That is a lot
Speaker 1: of the time when I have to do posts and
Speaker 1: when people are like messaging me or about different things,
Speaker 1: I think I just need to like put it away
Speaker 1: for that time. It's hard because then like Charlie's messaging me, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm coming home, do you need something? It's like I
Speaker 1: need an Apple Watch? Get what you know, so that
Speaker 1: I can see important things.
Speaker 2: Get one?
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe I will, Like they're very expensive, so it
Speaker 1: will be a consideration, but you can just accept things
Speaker 1: that are actually important or like figure out, you know, to.
Speaker 3: Talk on it, Like if Charlie called you, Yeah, I
Speaker 3: don't need to know where your phone is.
Speaker 1: Well, honestly, sometimes I'm like, can I just have a
Speaker 1: phone that's a phone without all the other stuff.
Speaker 3: I also said, I'm not even going to go into
Speaker 3: this too much because it's like such a lull that
Speaker 3: I would never let him read or watch things that
Speaker 3: aren't educational. I mean, every night Zoom Zoom goes the
Speaker 3: car and the trucks, the trucks, we read books about truck.
Speaker 1: The show about trucks, and it's just like literally moving trucks.
Speaker 3: Around like a weird truck. I don't know one little
Speaker 3: girl that wants to watch some weird do just pushing trucks.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, we do.
Speaker 2: That's probably worth millions of dollars from Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'll just move on to I also had
Speaker 3: be on my phone let them eat heaps of crap.
Speaker 2: I said, oh, my kid will never.
Speaker 3: Eat crab like a food or packet food, just like
Speaker 3: I genuinely was like, no, I need to make sure
Speaker 3: they're treating their body like a temple.
Speaker 2: If he eats, eats and that's good.
Speaker 1: I think that's the biggest realization you have when you
Speaker 1: get onto solids. It's like you spent all this time
Speaker 1: laboring over these like delicious nutritious meals, not delicious nutritious meals,
Speaker 1: and they're like, what the is this? Where's the fucking salt? Yeah,
Speaker 1: where's labor? And I'm like, so true, this tastes like shit.
Speaker 1: I remember someone on Instagram wrote to me. I was
Speaker 1: giving her broccoli and she wrote to me and she said, hey,
Speaker 1: you like me two years ago? Would you eat that?
Speaker 2: Would you like unsalted, unpeppered broccoli?
Speaker 1: And I was like, absolutely not. You were so right.
Speaker 2: I ever tried it before.
Speaker 3: No, it tastes like us you know, it doesn't taste
Speaker 3: like US salted broccoli.
Speaker 1: But oh my god, says so good. But remember how
Speaker 1: even weird I was about like packet fruit and you
Speaker 1: were like, she doesn't like fruit, give her the packet fruit.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, I thought.
Speaker 3: About it so crazy about packet food. Used to cook
Speaker 3: and make everything.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure I would have said that at one point,
Speaker 2: but then I was like, I am busy.
Speaker 1: Busy, and also you just exactly what you said. You
Speaker 1: want them to eat at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: It's like you want them to eat, so you don't
Speaker 1: do milk all the time, like you're trying to get
Speaker 1: their kegs up. Yes, this one's really funny because it's
Speaker 1: I literally say this two to five times a day.
Speaker 1: I'm calling Daddy when she's in trouble.
Speaker 2: Oh so you always said that you wouldn't. I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm never going to use like bully my keys and.
Speaker 1: Make them think like, I'm never going to discipline her
Speaker 1: like with threats. Literally, you know, the stair thing that
Speaker 1: she doesn't like going up the stairs at night, she
Speaker 1: just like sitting on them.
Speaker 3: And Key's cutting everything up, and I'm just like, he's
Speaker 3: also a very small human and Ruse now a beast, so.
Speaker 1: It's and I can't pick her. I have to put
Speaker 1: everything down to pick her up anyway. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm calling Dad, I'm calling Dad, and she's like no,
Speaker 1: and then hurries, and then she just sits there and
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, that's it. Daddy's on the phone
Speaker 1: and literally on FaceTime and he's like, Rue, go upstairs,
Speaker 1: and she's like okay.
Speaker 2: Ah, that little So it works.
Speaker 1: But I'm also like I said, I wasn't going to
Speaker 1: do this, but it works. It works, it works.
Speaker 2: It's so annoying.
Speaker 3: When they listen, I'll be like, Lenny, let me brush
Speaker 3: your teeth. Otherwise Daddy's gonna come in and brush your teeth,
Speaker 3: and he'll do it because I think he does a
Speaker 3: much better job and probably really gets in there. Whereas
Speaker 3: just swirl it around that that's.
Speaker 1: Fine, that's so funny. Where the opposite, Charlie just like
Speaker 1: gives the brush to her. That's what I do. So
Speaker 1: for half an hour she just walks around sucking the
Speaker 1: toothpaste better. And then he's like, okay, all done, give
Speaker 1: your tooth.
Speaker 2: What I do is I down and get her chomper
Speaker 2: is open.
Speaker 1: Well, we do the countdown, so I'm like, here, you
Speaker 1: brush it, and the mummy's going to do countdown and
Speaker 1: she's like, okay, So I have a laying down and
Speaker 1: I like count down from five on each part, so
Speaker 1: five four, three, two one at the front side side
Speaker 1: beautiful the bottom now, and then we do front side
Speaker 1: side and she like is into it now, So I've
Speaker 1: given her a bit of responsibility with it, but then
Speaker 1: she knows mommy does count down. Oh dear a freak,
Speaker 1: am I afraid? I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: When I'm a parent, I will never let my child
Speaker 3: throw a tantrum in public.
Speaker 2: I mean I remember vividly.
Speaker 3: I was on the Gold Coast and these parents were
Speaker 3: just sitting there having breakfast while their kid was absolutely
Speaker 3: throwing down yeah, And I walked past them and side
Speaker 3: eyed them like a mole.
Speaker 1: And I was like, ell, like, get a hold of
Speaker 1: your kid, eh, Like I was never that unhinged as
Speaker 1: a kid.
Speaker 3: Like, honestly, some people just really have never control over
Speaker 3: their kids.
Speaker 2: I would never let my kid bath like that public.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Now, when I see people and their kids are throwing
Speaker 3: tantrums in public, I look at the parent.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I see you, I see you, I see you,
Speaker 2: I feel you.
Speaker 3: I'm quite lucky that Lynn hasn't had that many public meltdowns.
Speaker 2: Because he's quite shy. Yes, rather, there's wait till the end.
Speaker 3: However, there was a situation a couple of weeks ago
Speaker 3: where we were at a child's birthday party and it
Speaker 3: was at nap time and he was under the table
Speaker 3: while everyone was eating party food, hitting, screaming the floor
Speaker 3: and I'm just sitting there like, who does.
Speaker 1: That belong to mine?
Speaker 2: Who bought that kid? Like someone left him at home?
Speaker 1: It happens, It happens. Oh, it does happen. Rus are
Speaker 1: but the same. Actually with her, she hasn't had any
Speaker 1: like public mountdowns, but the other day she did have
Speaker 1: like some somewhat one, but she's smart. It was pitch black,
Speaker 1: dark with walking home from daycare and she wants me
Speaker 1: to carry her and I'm like, no, you're fucking fourteen
Speaker 1: kilos mate. I Am like, you're a small person, a
Speaker 1: small version, and you would be would piss yourself laughing
Speaker 1: watching me though, because I'm a beast, I'll have like
Speaker 1: the groceries, my.
Speaker 3: Bag Lenny's bag Lenny, and like some trucks and I'm just.
Speaker 1: Like doorshush for my mom. Tore built different. I reckon,
Speaker 1: Like you know how you get good arms from having
Speaker 1: a kid. I never do any boys and there's they're
Speaker 1: like ripped.
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I'm not ripped, but I'm getting my
Speaker 3: arms out for the socials.
Speaker 1: Show them I've got like I don't.
Speaker 2: Do shit at the gym. Waits wise.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've got definition. Yeah, that's wonderful. That's wonderful. I know. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it was raining. She laid in the rain and sobbed.
Speaker 1: I ended up carrying a home to.
Speaker 2: Did you just pick her up by the force and
Speaker 2: just carry I had to put.
Speaker 1: Her tiny backpack on, so I.
Speaker 2: Was like, oh, then you sort of suffocate you a
Speaker 2: little bit.
Speaker 3: Just like nothing more ridiculous than an adult wearing a
Speaker 3: child's back.
Speaker 1: I'm aware and I have to walk.
Speaker 2: Men like be bulky men wearing them and they're.
Speaker 1: Like, ah, it's so embarrassing. Okay, when I'm a parent,
Speaker 1: I will never let my kid have a snotty nose.
Speaker 1: What do you mean.
Speaker 2: I would always judge.
Speaker 1: Moms if their kids had boogers coming out of their
Speaker 1: nose everywhere. I'd be like, get a tissue and wipe
Speaker 1: the nose.
Speaker 2: Oh my, yeah it is gross because.
Speaker 1: It's gross, right, But honestly, sometimes you just cannot. You'd
Speaker 1: be there all day wiping it.
Speaker 3: Oh you'd have to follow them around, yeah, with like
Speaker 3: a snotsucker.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, yeah, why don't they wipe
Speaker 1: their kids?
Speaker 3: No? Yeah, other people wipe Lenny's nose before me half
Speaker 3: the time. Some win when really I've done that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: well you've wiped Len's nose.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It gets other people more upset. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: he'll eat it.
Speaker 1: I start it back up.
Speaker 2: It's fine.
Speaker 1: I mean, I am quite diligent about it, but I understood.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh shit, I can't of get it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I kin't of get it.
Speaker 3: My child also has over producing adnoids. You've never seen
Speaker 3: a snot. When he sneezes, it ends up in his
Speaker 3: lap sometimes that's how long ago, like they should have
Speaker 3: taken the adnoids out last year.
Speaker 2: I don't know, key, but it's a really easy procedure.
Speaker 3: Everyone that has seen him sneeze is like that kid
Speaker 3: needs his adnoids out, and he's way snotty even when
Speaker 3: he's not sick.
Speaker 1: Does he have like labored breathing. No, Yeah, maybe that's
Speaker 1: why because usually it's like if it's really impacting their breathing,
Speaker 1: they'll do it.
Speaker 3: They're like, no, it doesn't impact anything except there's fluid
Speaker 3: all the time out of his nose. When I'm a parent,
Speaker 3: I will never let my kid control my life with routine.
Speaker 1: I actually think I did pretty well with this. I
Speaker 1: did not know, but you had it. You had a
Speaker 1: difficult sleeper. I think when you have a difficult sleeper,
Speaker 1: you live and die by the routine.
Speaker 3: To this day, he's two and a half years old,
Speaker 3: and I not only judged, used to get.
Speaker 2: Annoyed at my friends.
Speaker 3: Oh, we have to be at home by ten o'clock
Speaker 3: so they can sleep, Like, oh, live a little bit,
Speaker 3: Live a little Why is that kid, that stupid kid
Speaker 3: ruling your life with their stupid routines?
Speaker 1: Who cares?
Speaker 2: Just let them sleep forever, Just just let them do whatever.
Speaker 2: Who cares? What do you mean you've got to be
Speaker 2: home for bedtime? Just let the kids sleep.
Speaker 3: I have a friend coming in from Queensland. Yeah, she
Speaker 3: arrives at like eleven on Friday, at twelve thirty on
Speaker 3: the dot, even though I haven't seen her in six months.
Speaker 3: I'll have to be like, anyway, I'm off to bed
Speaker 3: with Lenny because he must have me next to him
Speaker 3: for a ser on our days and yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm not fucking around with our nap time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is very true.
Speaker 2: Will always deviate for some things.
Speaker 1: But you're surprised at how closely your kind advised.
Speaker 3: At how much my life is completely ruled by my child.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The fact that you have to get up early
Speaker 1: in the morning.
Speaker 3: Oh, don't even get me started on that, because you
Speaker 3: know I'm not a morning person.
Speaker 1: But you've done pretty well to adjust. Can't have I
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was just trying to give you props.
Speaker 1: He's one for the lolls. I do feel really guilty
Speaker 1: about this. I was like, never will I ever pick
Speaker 1: her up from daycare later than like four thirty and sometimes, but.
Speaker 2: You can't help it when sometimes you don't want it,
Speaker 2: sometimes I.
Speaker 1: Want to, So I'll pick her up at six, which
Speaker 1: is the last time you can figure up, because I'm
Speaker 1: a bit tired, you know, I'll just be like, oh
Speaker 1: does she care? No, But how funny is this? She
Speaker 1: never done this to me, You've never done this to mummy.
Speaker 1: But Charlie had to pick her up. I had an
Speaker 1: event or something, and Charlie went to go pick her up.
Speaker 1: And he always would pick her up at six because
Speaker 1: he's coming from the city and the commute is just
Speaker 1: like wild. And he walks in and she goes. Daddy
Speaker 1: taps her wrist, her imaginary wristwatch, saying you're late. I
Speaker 1: got home. We were having like a little chat in
Speaker 1: bed and he told me that I sass.
Speaker 2: She's like, how very dare you, daddy.
Speaker 1: And then points at her imaginary watch. I was just
Speaker 1: dying over that. So I do feel a bit guilty
Speaker 1: because I'm also like, do they know how close I
Speaker 1: live to the day? They do?
Speaker 3: They do, because it would be on your file. I know,
Speaker 3: I know, But they also don't know what time you
Speaker 3: finish work.
Speaker 1: And a lot of the time it is because I'm finishing, wife,
Speaker 1: But a lot of the time it's like I'm just
Speaker 1: need half an hour before I start pay them for
Speaker 1: this gauntlet, right, and they have fun Yeah with a
Speaker 1: ticking time bomb. I know that, you know in half
Speaker 1: an hour's time, I'm going to be spending half an
Speaker 1: hour in the stairwell. So it's like you want to
Speaker 1: delay that a little bit, just a little way, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know, I get it.
Speaker 3: I will never let him wear ugly boy clothes because
Speaker 3: I hate them.
Speaker 1: The shoes.
Speaker 2: Don't start me on the shoes.
Speaker 1: I really don't want to boy because of the stuff
Speaker 1: is so holy.
Speaker 3: Shoes he would wear had eyes on them. And now
Speaker 3: he's got car shoes. I bought him really cute other ones.
Speaker 3: He flat out refuses to wear them.
Speaker 1: They're like boat shoes. And then there's like, give me
Speaker 1: the ones cars.
Speaker 2: Oh they're fat and they're always hideous colors.
Speaker 3: I shop a lot in the girls section for him
Speaker 3: because it's just nicer stuff and stunner.
Speaker 1: Herself and for myself, although.
Speaker 3: He did have to talk me out of one floral
Speaker 3: pair of overalls once.
Speaker 1: She was like, too far too, I think you look
Speaker 1: like a giant baby.
Speaker 3: So I hate boy clothes so much, and everything is
Speaker 3: just disgusting, like covered with cars, covered with dinosaurs.
Speaker 2: It's so gross.
Speaker 1: That's weird.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. My mum ended up buying him some
Speaker 2: hideous stuff and.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I'm really grateful that you bought
Speaker 3: him clothes, Like, you know, closes are expensive. Also, why
Speaker 3: would you do this to me? She goes, it's fine,
Speaker 3: they're just for daycare. And I know that you put
Speaker 3: him in his daycare clothes to night prior, so then
Speaker 3: this just stops a fight. And I was like, okay, fair,
Speaker 3: I now have to hide the daycare clothes though.
Speaker 2: Because he will pull them out of his wardrobe.
Speaker 1: Cars.
Speaker 3: They are so ugly, they're covered with gross cars, and
Speaker 3: Luke thinks it's funny.
Speaker 1: It is a bit funny. It's not funny.
Speaker 3: He looks so ugly and these stupid clothes.
Speaker 1: Look, I do get any.
Speaker 2: Shoes with eyes on them, and cars.
Speaker 1: I do get it, honestly. Like prying the crocs out
Speaker 1: of Rue's hands when but for winter and they were
Speaker 1: too small, she'd grown out of them, and the she
Speaker 1: kicked off the tears.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry you've got I don't have sampers.
Speaker 1: You're ruining the outfit the mummy put together. Okay, when
Speaker 1: they ruin outfits, well know when I'm like, lay out
Speaker 1: the outfit with the shoes, and I'm like, get her
Speaker 1: dressed please, and I'll meet you Bill, And then I
Speaker 1: get there and he's just the softy, isn't he. So
Speaker 1: she's wearing her daycare new balances that are grubby. We're
Speaker 1: just like really cute, like corduroy assembly no, with stockings
Speaker 1: and a little tunic. And I'm like, babes, just pan
Speaker 1: her down and put the shoes on, like, or just
Speaker 1: let her go with no shoes on and then put
Speaker 1: them on when we leave the car, like trick her.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, I just carry him to the car. Sometimes.
Speaker 1: Really seemed like she wanted to wear the new balances,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, she doesn't have a choice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why are we giving her so many choices?
Speaker 1: This is not a democracy? Okay.
Speaker 3: I also have to add to that that I said
Speaker 3: I would never neglect to myself when I was going
Speaker 3: out in public. Oh, sometimes my child will look like,
Speaker 3: apart from the shoes that he's in like a catalog.
Speaker 2: Because you're so cute, he's very well dressed.
Speaker 3: I look like Adam Sandler chasing after him.
Speaker 2: Like why how did that happen? Why am I so
Speaker 2: concerned with what he looks like?
Speaker 1: It's weird how you just don't care what you look like?
Speaker 2: Hey, I dropped him off at daycare this morning. I
Speaker 2: forgot I had a towel on my head.
Speaker 1: Who are lying?
Speaker 3: No one, No, I'm not because I had to get
Speaker 3: up when you arrived. Did I not have wet hair?
Speaker 1: Did? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I had to get up and I washed my hair.
Speaker 3: Decided to have a shell before I even took him.
Speaker 3: Didn't even think about it, just put my hair in
Speaker 3: my little towel, turban thing.
Speaker 1: It wasn't even a towel. It was like a turban thing.
Speaker 1: It wasn't I don't want you a huge towel. I
Speaker 1: get how you can do.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I don't think that's possible, because it
Speaker 3: had just fall off at some point. No, like one
Speaker 3: of the ones that you then button on. So I've
Speaker 3: just forgot that it was on my head, and I'm
Speaker 3: literally like thinking to myself, gosh, everyone's staring a little
Speaker 3: bit at me today.
Speaker 2: I did makeup on. Maybe they're like my coat.
Speaker 1: They like your little terry toweling thing.
Speaker 2: That was like branded as well. It had like a
Speaker 2: big brand across.
Speaker 1: Oh my words, your turn, I text Charlie, because I
Speaker 1: didn't have many in comparison to your list. You've got
Speaker 1: a few more to go. So but I text Charlie
Speaker 1: and was like, when I'm a parent, I will never
Speaker 1: It's for the pod and he wrote back immediately sit
Speaker 1: down to WEE And I went, are you sure I
Speaker 1: can tell this on the pod? And He's like yep.
Speaker 1: So Charlie now sits down to wi. He doesn't stand
Speaker 1: to we There's two reasons why. The first reason was
Speaker 1: she kept copying me and standing in front of her
Speaker 1: potty to wi. Oh, we were toilet training her and
Speaker 1: they'd be pissed everywhere. The second reason was as soon
Speaker 1: as she sees me go to the bathroom, she follows
Speaker 1: me and throws things in there while I'm peeing. Oh,
Speaker 1: we've lost an Apple TV remote. And the other day
Speaker 1: I was lying in bed having a little sleeping and
Speaker 1: all her hair is glunk. Oh no, Ru's come in
Speaker 1: with her brand new Yetti water bottle. They're really heavy.
Speaker 1: They're like a titanium adult water bottle. Anyway, they make
Speaker 1: them for kids, are good gifts. We got one for
Speaker 1: a birthday. Someone gave it to her and he's peeing.
Speaker 1: She's dropped the metal water bottle into the toilet.
Speaker 2: And the purin has splashed flash.
Speaker 1: Him and his face all he's six, so she hasn't
Speaker 1: pegged it, pegged it.
Speaker 2: I hear him go no dunk's.
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm not fucking standing to pea anymore.
Speaker 2: It's just too risky.
Speaker 1: There's too many things that happened in the middle of
Speaker 1: the night. He actually got it from a friend. So
Speaker 1: one of his friends grew up with all girls, and
Speaker 1: he wasn't allowed to pee standing up in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night because it's so loud. Like it is loud, right,
Speaker 1: so he did sit to pee in the night. I
Speaker 1: feel like Luke.
Speaker 3: Sits to pea most of the time anyway, So maybe
Speaker 3: is it really Yeah, I think he's just either very
Speaker 3: lazy or maybe it's having sisters.
Speaker 1: But Charlie did say to me, I don't know why
Speaker 1: we stand well, yeah, it's kind of nice.
Speaker 2: That just reminded me though.
Speaker 3: This is such a good example of like why it's
Speaker 3: so hard sometimes, like why.
Speaker 2: Vagina was a little bit hairy.
Speaker 3: Okay, And I was in the bath with Lenny and
Speaker 3: the bubbles went away, and.
Speaker 1: What did he say? He got a bit scared. He
Speaker 1: got scared of your bush.
Speaker 3: And he was just really confused. So then I was like, Luke,
Speaker 3: can you please come in here? I'm like, pull your
Speaker 3: pants down, and Luke's like what. And then I'm trying
Speaker 3: to explain to Lenny. So Luke's dangling is dick around
Speaker 3: my Joiney's out with a bit of a bush, and
Speaker 3: I'm trying to explain to Lenny why they're different. And
Speaker 3: then I'm like, Luke's dick's dangling around, Lenny's dangling is around,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, parenting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, never pictured this, you never know, you never know.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I just wanted to shout out Charlie
Speaker 1: for letting me out.
Speaker 2: That's amazing to me.
Speaker 1: That's a real husband right there. Do it for the content, babe,
Speaker 1: Do it for the content. So what are the things
Speaker 1: you have stuck to after the list of lolls? After
Speaker 1: the lolls?
Speaker 2: Shooting games or toys that look like guns.
Speaker 3: I always said that I would never allow that, yeah,
Speaker 3: and I'm absolutely.
Speaker 2: Stuck to that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, even like at.
Speaker 3: Other people's houses, I'm like, oh, can we just put
Speaker 3: that one away? Other people might be like, oh, it's unnecessary.
Speaker 3: I do agree, he gets older. No games on TV
Speaker 3: with guns or like hurting people, No nerf guns, nothing,
Speaker 3: no water pistols. There was a water pistol in a
Speaker 3: lolly bag a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 2: Throw it out, yeah straight away. I was just like, nah,
Speaker 2: I just very anti guns.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's a good decision, though I don't
Speaker 1: need them. There's so many other things.
Speaker 3: Oh, there's so many toys that I wouldn't participate in
Speaker 3: daycare slash school activities.
Speaker 2: I've absolutely stuck to that.
Speaker 1: Luke does it. Yeah, he loves it. Though it froths it. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Miss Rangeet was telling me this morning. She was like, Oh,
Speaker 3: the kids love him. They run up to him as
Speaker 3: soon as he arrives, like, he loves that shit. And
Speaker 3: the last thing I said, I would never do that.
Speaker 3: I've absolutely stuck to you. And I know you do this,
Speaker 3: eat their leftovers or just eat their food.
Speaker 1: Okay, well I'm hungry when like I haven't cooked mind
Speaker 1: in a yet.
Speaker 3: Yuck.
Speaker 2: You probably eat half chewed stuff as well.
Speaker 1: No I don't. I don't. I draw the line at that.
Speaker 3: Ashley will literally eat like she'll feed her three kids
Speaker 3: three different meals and then eat half.
Speaker 2: Of all of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then have her own dinner. She's like a
Speaker 3: little bird just picking at the leftovers.
Speaker 2: Yuck.
Speaker 1: You would have hated me. Last night. I was so
Speaker 1: hungry making roots dinner and Charlie's started to come home
Speaker 1: early because his work has slowed down, which is great,
Speaker 1: but thank you Charlie. I'm like, feel like I have
Speaker 1: to wait to have dinner with him, and I'm like
Speaker 1: cooking this delicious meal for rue, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: really want some of this. So I just like carved
Speaker 1: myself off like a little plate and I was like
Speaker 1: eating an Entrey an on Trey, if you will. And
Speaker 1: then I decided to make myself an extravagant dinner and
Speaker 1: I was by the time I'd gotten to the end
Speaker 1: of it, I was full from protein.
Speaker 2: Packed, nutritious meal exactly.
Speaker 1: The only thing that I said I would do that
Speaker 1: I did stick to was the nose TV or screens
Speaker 1: before one.
Speaker 3: So many shitters said stuff like that, like they all
Speaker 3: had different times.
Speaker 4: But Sally get they they say there's research, He's there, okay,
Speaker 4: apparently like there's no benefit for benefit in general, Well.
Speaker 1: Yeah it is, as I say, it can be educational,
Speaker 1: but there's no real benefit before like one or two.
Speaker 1: But I just wanted to basically hold off for as
Speaker 1: long as possible.
Speaker 3: We watched cartoons first thing in the morning. I know, yeah,
Speaker 3: for an hour.
Speaker 1: We only allow TV now on weekends and on holidays,
Speaker 1: so there's no TV during the week.
Speaker 3: What about when she gets her from daycare, we hang
Speaker 3: out and play. But she's been playing all day, she's tired.
Speaker 1: We hang out in the kitchen, she watches me cook.
Speaker 1: It's weird.
Speaker 2: No, it's not weird.
Speaker 1: That's really good.
Speaker 2: I just I feel like I'm too far.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I could backtrack now and be
Speaker 3: like absolutely not no Mickey Mouse.
Speaker 1: But she was just different, Like there were moments where
Speaker 1: I broke right and I did shove some TV in
Speaker 1: front of it, but she just didn't start liking it
Speaker 1: till now. And by now.
Speaker 2: She's in a routine and understands she.
Speaker 1: Doesn't need it as much because she hasn't always had it,
Speaker 1: always been interested in it. I think that's the difference. Right.
Speaker 1: If I have another baby, I'm pretty sure they're going
Speaker 1: to be addicted to DV.
Speaker 3: You have another baby, these rules for RU will probably
Speaker 3: go out the window because you're like, just sit down,
Speaker 3: please recommendations. It is my turn for recommendations. Yeah, girl,
Speaker 3: below deck biby.
Speaker 2: Some of you were expecting Captain Lee or even the
Speaker 2: dock with a.
Speaker 3: New captain, new crew.
Speaker 1: Tenches are high. I put people in line that need
Speaker 1: to be put in line. This is in high school drama,
Speaker 1: this is five star circus. Have you not recommended this before?
Speaker 3: No? Okay, sorry I don't think so, or maybe I did.
Speaker 3: I'm just so obsessed. Apparently Charlie was like, why is it?
Speaker 1: What did he say? Last night? We were watching the
Speaker 1: latest episode of Blow Deck on Binge and he was like,
Speaker 1: why have you gone back and watched old seasons? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, it's Kelly. I'm obsessed.
Speaker 3: As someone who doesn't really like reality TV, and I
Speaker 3: certainly do not like TV shows like Math and I
Speaker 3: have a huge problem with them.
Speaker 2: I love Blow Deck.
Speaker 1: And I will just let the record state when you
Speaker 1: were like got into Blow Deck, oz, I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you need to go.
Speaker 2: Back and watch all of med.
Speaker 3: You got like this's just so so off.
Speaker 1: It though You're like, no, I don't just watching it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just watched the Australian one. I'm like, it's the
Speaker 1: shittest one. It's all good, like Australia is good, but
Speaker 1: it's the shittest one comparatively, because the other ones.
Speaker 3: Are so good, so full of drama, and the guests
Speaker 3: is so much more theatrical. And as I was saying
Speaker 3: to Keith, if you also hate reality heavy and don't
Speaker 3: want to support it, the reason why I don't have
Speaker 3: a problem with blow Deck is because they're actually working.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they have jobs, like they have property.
Speaker 3: It's a proper job. There's just cameras there. That's what
Speaker 3: they all do. Yeah, for real life as well. And
Speaker 3: I'm even one of the show.
Speaker 1: Like the franchises get really successful, they still can't really
Speaker 1: deny how good the money is to continue in yachting.
Speaker 2: And still I think a lot of them yacht just
Speaker 2: for the fun of it.
Speaker 1: They enjoy the lif They're just like, oh, they just.
Speaker 3: Happened to be on a season that gets filmed, and
Speaker 3: then they continue yodding like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so good. I love it so much.
Speaker 1: If you should at your job, you just get fired,
Speaker 1: which I love. It's like you gotta leave the boat now.
Speaker 1: It's like whoa get off now? Pat shit. They will
Speaker 1: go a man down or multiple men or women down
Speaker 1: rather than have rather than have shit people on which
Speaker 1: and I like the hierarchy of it. It adds like an
Speaker 1: element of like, you can't say that to her.
Speaker 3: Sheeriore And just another quick one if you are a reader.
Speaker 3: I read the best book of the year. I know
Speaker 3: it's called The Nightingale.
Speaker 1: What's it about.
Speaker 3: Well, it's a historical fiction. It's about two sisters in
Speaker 3: World War Two.
Speaker 1: Don't tell Charlie that's his favorite genre.
Speaker 3: Oh, please tell him to read this book. I have
Speaker 3: not cried so much over a book in years. But
Speaker 3: in a way, that's very beautiful, beautiful Well, I mean
Speaker 3: it's sad, but it's beautiful. And it's just a lot
Speaker 3: of people say that the hardest thing that we will
Speaker 3: have ever had to go through collectively in Western society
Speaker 3: is COVID and lockdown. Yeah, and when you put it
Speaker 3: into perspective, it's like, oh my god, Like I know
Speaker 3: that it was such a shit time, but we're just
Speaker 3: asked to stay indoors.
Speaker 1: I know. Yeah, TV it's a different sacrifice.
Speaker 3: What people had to go through in World War Two.
Speaker 3: And this was from a woman's perspective as the men
Speaker 3: went to I will just put a disclaimer. I found
Speaker 3: it very confronting as a non Jewish person, so I
Speaker 3: think that with the rise of anti Semitism in the
Speaker 3: world at the moment, if.
Speaker 2: You're Jewish, just a trigger warning. It was just the
Speaker 2: best book I read a year, and I loved.
Speaker 1: It all right, adding it to the list.
Speaker 3: Well, thanks so much for joining us today, Shitters. Share
Speaker 3: the pod on your socials. Let us know what you
Speaker 3: think and what you want to hear. You can tag
Speaker 3: us at kiris at, Kelly mcarronan at ASSR dot pod
Speaker 3: and please rate and review us.
Speaker 1: Yes, please, please, please please.
Speaker 3: Thousands and thousands of you are listening every single week
Speaker 3: and you're listening to the whole episode, so I know
Speaker 3: you're enjoying it. Please take the twin minutes.
Speaker 2: To go to rate and review.
Speaker 1: It really really helps. This episode of Eat, Sleep, Ship
Speaker 1: Repeat was produced by myself, Keiri Searles, and Kelly McCarran,
Speaker 1: with audio production by the wonderful Madeline Joanno.
Speaker 3: Bye Shitnaz Bye