Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mom with Mia podcast. Deep down
Speaker 1: in my whole being, I knew that I was going
Speaker 1: to have my first baby on my own. I've always
Speaker 1: thought it, and I've never met anyone that I want
Speaker 1: to have a baby with since that knowing. So I
Speaker 1: just thought, well, you ain't getting any younger. I'm thirty
Speaker 1: six next month, and I really just thought it, now's
Speaker 1: the time, like I'm not waiting for anyone.
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to No Filter. I'm Kate Lanebrook and
Speaker 2: today we're welcoming back to the show. Someone you will
Speaker 2: definitely remember. Angie Kent first joined us in twenty nineteen,
Speaker 2: just after the Bachelourette, when she was newly in love
Speaker 2: and stepping into a very public new chapter. Well, a
Speaker 2: lot has changed since then. In the years since, Angie
Speaker 2: has gone inward, done a lot of reflection, made some
Speaker 2: deeply intentional choices about how she wants her life to live,
Speaker 2: and she's also moved into a yurt. Most recently, she
Speaker 2: shared her decision to become a solo mum by choice,
Speaker 2: documenting her IVF journey and opening up a much bigger
Speaker 2: conversation about modern motherhood, partnership, and autonomy. This is a thoughtful,
Speaker 2: honest conversation about trusting your instincts, letting go of timelines
Speaker 2: that no longer fit and maybe never did, and choosing
Speaker 2: a life that feels aligned even when it looks different
Speaker 2: to what you imagined. Here is Angie Kent. Angie Kent,
Speaker 2: welcome to No Filter.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. I'm a bit
Speaker 1: excited now.
Speaker 2: I know this is not your first rodeo, because you
Speaker 2: also had a rodeo or rodeo with mea in twenty nineteen.
Speaker 2: I did when you were fresh off BATCHI.
Speaker 1: I remember that now. That was such a good chat.
Speaker 2: And if you think about that version of you now,
Speaker 2: does it feel like a version or does it feel
Speaker 2: like you're on a continuum of evolution and the same you.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's such a good question. You know what a
Speaker 1: bit of both. I think I look back at that person,
Speaker 1: what's that twenty nineteen, so six seven six seven years ago?
Speaker 1: And I think, who.
Speaker 2: Is sixty six years ago?
Speaker 1: Who is that little person that had no real idea
Speaker 1: of anything to do with a television or dating multiple
Speaker 1: people at once, and then all the media and whatnot,
Speaker 1: And then now looking at myself thinking it is the
Speaker 1: same person, but I've just I don't know, I feel different,
Speaker 1: but I also feel the same, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's a hard one.
Speaker 2: The whole point of being alive is that where you
Speaker 2: start at A is not where you end up at
Speaker 2: Z or along the way at C or F or whatever.
Speaker 2: Well that's so you are constantly evolving, but you seem
Speaker 2: to have had many incarnations. When you started on goggle Box, yeah,
Speaker 2: and you were with ev did that feel to you
Speaker 2: like the start of something or just an adventure?
Speaker 1: I feel like that was the start of something in
Speaker 1: the in terms of us being on television, but in
Speaker 1: terms of our relationship and where we were. We lived
Speaker 1: together with a man with down syndrome and rescue dogs,
Speaker 1: and it felt like and I kind of, you know,
Speaker 1: I was at that age where I was. I would
Speaker 1: have been just twenty five when we started Gogglebox, And
Speaker 1: when you're twenty five, I feel like you feel like
Speaker 1: the world is on your shoulders. I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is. I don't know why we think that. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's because we just turn into adults around that age, really,
Speaker 1: and I felt so like, what am they going to
Speaker 1: do with my life? I'm just you know, I'm just
Speaker 1: kind of nannying and working behind the scenes in production
Speaker 1: and I'm not really dating. And you know, you hit
Speaker 1: that twenty five year old age and you feel like
Speaker 1: society's like, so, when are you're going to get a
Speaker 1: boyfriend or a girlfriend, or when are you gonna have
Speaker 1: your real career? And then goggle Box kind of came
Speaker 1: and it did kind of feel like, wow, like what
Speaker 1: is going to happen with this? And we kind of
Speaker 1: rode the wave and it went kind of crazy there
Speaker 1: for a while. It was it was quite the adventure.
Speaker 2: What you're describing really is the quintessential caught to life crisis.
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, that happens, you know, mid twenties. I
Speaker 2: mean some people have it their whole life. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: I think particularly in modern times because there's so much comparison. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and comparison really eats awayat at your notion of self
Speaker 2: worth or direction.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that's what it is if you compare
Speaker 1: yourself to say, for me, people back home where they
Speaker 1: had already been married for three or four years, I'm
Speaker 1: originally from the Sunshine Coast or you know, they already
Speaker 1: started having kids, and I was always this kind of
Speaker 1: classified as this wild person that left as soon as
Speaker 1: she graduated from high school and went to university and
Speaker 1: lived in America, Like I always kind of did the
Speaker 1: opposite to what was expected of me. So then when I, yeah,
Speaker 1: hit twenty five, you feel like your quarter life crisis,
Speaker 1: Like you feel so old, and I look back and
Speaker 1: I just want to shriek myself and be like, you're
Speaker 1: so young. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't
Speaker 1: be so frickin' serious, because I feel like I'm less
Speaker 1: serious now than I was then in terms of feeling
Speaker 1: everything so deeply. But I think that also comes with
Speaker 1: age therapy, the right diagnosis. I'm now medicated very well
Speaker 1: for my ADHD and my autism. Well, not that you
Speaker 1: can be medicated for autism, but I understand it better
Speaker 1: now that I'm like, I feel things and I can
Speaker 1: kind of like go, okay, that's what that is, Let
Speaker 1: it go, that's what that is, instead of being like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, my world is going to end, like
Speaker 1: it's just a feeling now. And I think that's one
Speaker 1: of the best things about getting older, is that you
Speaker 1: kind of get to learn more about yourself in that
Speaker 1: way and not compare as much.
Speaker 2: When you talk about your upbringing. And I was interesting
Speaker 2: because I was listening to you on a podcast where
Speaker 2: you just alluded to the fact that you said you
Speaker 2: had a lot of anxiety growing up.
Speaker 1: Yes, a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 2: What was the origin of that or what was the
Speaker 2: manifestation of that? Do you think I think.
Speaker 1: That I looking back now, I do understand it probably
Speaker 1: wasn't just anxiety. It probably was undiagnosed, a lot of it,
Speaker 1: undiagnosed ADHD and not knowing my place right, I guess
Speaker 1: with having a brother that was so kind of easily
Speaker 1: diagnosed with back then you would say aspergis we don't
Speaker 1: say that now. Obviously it's just autistic spectrum. And he
Speaker 1: had a chromosome abdomality, so everything was kind of like
Speaker 1: focused on his diagnosis and how he was held in
Speaker 1: the world, whereas I was the oldest sibling and it
Speaker 1: was kind of like you needed to do this, you
Speaker 1: need to do that. And I always kind of felt
Speaker 1: like I had to be perfect, and yeah, I kind
Speaker 1: of just carried on with me until my teens, and
Speaker 1: I yeah, kind of took it out on my body
Speaker 1: and ways of having a severe eating disorder, and then
Speaker 1: obviously that creates more anxiety because of information and everything
Speaker 1: and just navigating family. I mean, everybody has a story
Speaker 1: with their family, and it wasn't always easy growing up.
Speaker 1: So I was quite an anxious but very high masking person.
Speaker 1: I could perform right.
Speaker 2: Well, I was going to say, because when the country
Speaker 2: fell in love with you on goggle Box, and they did,
Speaker 2: and it was a different time than when everybody was
Speaker 2: watching that show, everybody was watching television and everybody was
Speaker 2: watching you watching television wild, So it did come across
Speaker 2: as just so like an authentically happy young woman who
Speaker 2: was in a very unusual situation. You mentioned Tom earlier,
Speaker 2: the young man that you lived with, Yes, and the
Speaker 2: situation with Ev where it was just lovely to see. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And yet what you're saying is that under that there
Speaker 2: was not It was not the happy young woman that
Speaker 2: we were reading on the screen.
Speaker 1: Not always. No, I think in those moments where you
Speaker 1: saw me with Ev and the dogs, I was genuinely
Speaker 1: happy watching television with my best friend in the world
Speaker 1: and having all those rescue dogs around, and we got
Speaker 1: to drink whatever we wanted. So obviously we're always a
Speaker 1: little bit buzz the first few seasons, we were like
Speaker 1: they had to kind of realist in and be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you probably can't get that drunk and say that stuff anymore.
Speaker 1: Thank god I was back then, otherwise we would have
Speaker 1: been a cancel. These days, you could not say the
Speaker 1: shit we we used to say and be that drunk
Speaker 1: on television. Now, it's just different times. It was like
Speaker 1: ten years ago, right, But behind all of that, there
Speaker 1: was a girl that had severe eating disorder for fifteen years.
Speaker 1: What I thought was just chronic anxiety, navigating just the
Speaker 1: highs and lows of my body forever changing. I didn't
Speaker 1: know I had endometriosis, adino myosis, pcos PMDD, all these
Speaker 1: things I didn't know, So I would often just numb, numb, numb, numb, numb,
Speaker 1: whether that be alcohol, whether that be at the time
Speaker 1: severely bollimic, whether that be working myself to the ground.
Speaker 1: I was just constantly numbing so I could be the
Speaker 1: perfect person that I thought was for everybody. So yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it wasn't what you saw on Google Books. Was definitely Angie.
Speaker 1: But there was another side of me, for sure.
Speaker 2: And in a way it seems like if you look
Speaker 2: at the trajectory of your life, which has been marked
Speaker 2: with some really significant reality television moments. It's like the
Speaker 2: quest for yourself is to return to the essence of
Speaker 2: who that woman is, that young woman, which is you,
Speaker 2: but having learnt things and divesting yourself of the things
Speaker 2: that aren't serving you along the way.
Speaker 1: Yes, I love that. That's so perfectly put. I feel
Speaker 1: like that person on the couch that you saw that
Speaker 1: had no idea of you know, the judgment from the
Speaker 1: outside world or social media. Really even back then. I
Speaker 1: love that person so innocent and so open to say
Speaker 1: whatever came to her mind, but also with the knowledge
Speaker 1: of how to better look after myself, how to stick
Speaker 1: up for myself, how to not take things on, to
Speaker 1: know more about therapy, medication, all of that. I love
Speaker 1: the two mixed together as a beautiful way to look
Speaker 1: at it. I think I support that Angie Moore, like
Speaker 1: I just want to cuddle her and not be upset.
Speaker 1: Whereas you know you spend so much time beating yourself up,
Speaker 1: going why did you do that back then? But now
Speaker 1: I look at her and I just want to like
Speaker 1: squeeze a little face and say, you know what you
Speaker 1: were doing the best you could Joe, you were doing
Speaker 1: the best you could, and the.
Speaker 2: Best was great. But the essence when I talk about
Speaker 2: the essence of you, and this leads us onto the
Speaker 2: next sort of chapter, the essence of you was someone
Speaker 2: who seemed to have confidence in the fact that they
Speaker 2: were loved and lovable. Right, that's just the essence of
Speaker 2: what you projected. And then yet not too many years later,
Speaker 2: you ended up being the Bachelorette, and I was astounded.
Speaker 2: I remember this series because I remember you saying you
Speaker 2: had never been in love.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so, not at the time, not
Speaker 1: like that truly madly, deeply loved. But to be hones,
Speaker 1: As I've gotten older, I feel like I have been
Speaker 1: in love, but in different ways, like I am so
Speaker 1: in I don't know if this is weird, but I
Speaker 1: think loves in different films, like I'm so in love
Speaker 1: with my dog, I'm so in love with my friends,
Speaker 1: I'm so in love with my house. But no, I
Speaker 1: don't feel like even now I've had that like I
Speaker 1: can't live without you type of love. I don't even
Speaker 1: know if that is real. I don't know if that's
Speaker 1: just a movie thing or if it is real life.
Speaker 2: Because you had this lovely connection with Karlin, who was
Speaker 2: very kind to you and really looked out for you
Speaker 2: and played the guitar to you. Yeah, which is a
Speaker 2: beautiful lot. And I was surprised to hear you say that.
Speaker 2: And yet there was a drive in you to try
Speaker 2: and find that romantic love, wasn't there?
Speaker 1: Oh my god?
Speaker 2: Yes, I was like, and where did that drive come from?
Speaker 1: I felt like because I was twenty nine and I
Speaker 1: had never really put relationships first. I've always been career,
Speaker 1: travel friends, family, to the point that was probably a
Speaker 1: bit detrimental to myself more often than not. But I thought, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty nine. I just left goggle Box. I lost
Speaker 1: the love of my life, my nanny, and not long
Speaker 1: before that my Poppy, who was also the love of
Speaker 1: my life. And I felt all this loss and all
Speaker 1: this change, and then even and I were like, nah,
Speaker 1: we can't do goggle Box anymore because I wanted to
Speaker 1: go keep traveling and find myself. And then we got
Speaker 1: offered the Jungle I'm a celebrity, and then the Bachelorette
Speaker 1: came after that, so it was all just like boom boom,
Speaker 1: boom boom, and I thought to myself okay, because I'm
Speaker 1: a bit woo woo spiritual, and I thought to myself, Okay,
Speaker 1: my nanny and my poppy want you to find a partner.
Speaker 1: And so so when the Bachelorette popped up after the Jungle,
Speaker 1: where I really thought I found myself in the jungle,
Speaker 1: I did love that experience. I was like, this is it,
Speaker 1: this is how I find myself, my person. And I
Speaker 1: really like pedal to the metal. Like everything I do
Speaker 1: in my life, I gave it my all and I
Speaker 1: really really did want to fall in love. And I
Speaker 1: think a part of me did love my Top three,
Speaker 1: like I was obsessed with my Top three. I still
Speaker 1: look back and I'm like, oh my god, but yeah
Speaker 1: I did. I do think I did love, But looking
Speaker 1: back now, I don't feel that love. I guess that's
Speaker 1: because that's like every relationship when you break up, right,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, well that's a lesson.
Speaker 2: Why do you think you weren't in love.
Speaker 1: With anyone or that particular person?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, like I guess. I mean, do you think
Speaker 2: it's something inside you that you're still unlocking the keys
Speaker 2: to yourself?
Speaker 1: Oh? I think so?
Speaker 2: Or is it that you believe there's still a person
Speaker 2: that you know the Dutch of got A saying there's
Speaker 2: no pot so crooked there isn't a lead somewhere to
Speaker 2: fit it. And is it that you that you haven't
Speaker 2: found that crooked lead yet?
Speaker 1: I don't know about that, because I still to this day,
Speaker 1: don't put a whole lot of pressure on finding the one.
Speaker 1: I'm super content with working on me being the one.
Speaker 1: I desperately want to be a mother without the one.
Speaker 1: I've always thought I was going to be a mother
Speaker 1: without the one. I don't fully think that I'm closed
Speaker 1: off to finding somebody else one day or multiple somebody
Speaker 1: else is depending on what chapter of my life it is.
Speaker 1: I guess yes, but no, I'm not. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's just part of my little tism brain, but
Speaker 1: I don't put a lot of pressure on relationships. I'm
Speaker 1: like so happy single, Like it's actually sad how much
Speaker 1: I spend time on my own. Well, other people think
Speaker 1: it's sad. I love it. I just I don't mind
Speaker 1: being single. And maybe after I have a baby, I
Speaker 1: may be like, ah, oh my god, Okay, now I
Speaker 1: want to really really date. We'll just have to wait
Speaker 1: and see what these hormones do.
Speaker 2: Well. I think a lot of people say the extraordinary
Speaker 2: nature of love that you have for a baby can
Speaker 2: often eclipse other types of love. Yes, but where are
Speaker 2: you at with that journey? Because I was going to say,
Speaker 2: here's another chapter in your in your reality show journey
Speaker 2: that is really punctuated periods of your life. And we've
Speaker 2: been able to keep abreast of the changing in you
Speaker 2: through watching you on these shows. So Big Miracles, the
Speaker 2: show about people conceiving trying to conceive using basically the
Speaker 2: gift of science, Yes, the gift of IVF. So you're
Speaker 2: now on that path, I am. I saw a clip
Speaker 2: of the show, Yes, where are you into it? Because
Speaker 2: I saw a clip of you on the show with
Speaker 2: some friends choosing your sperm donor, which is, as you say,
Speaker 2: the most momentous decision that you're making.
Speaker 1: So I filmed that show in twenty four and I
Speaker 1: was blessed enough to get fourteen embryos from that IVF round,
Speaker 1: which I was totally blown away by, given the fact
Speaker 1: that I've had three laparoscopies for my endometriosis and PCOS
Speaker 1: and recently diagnosed with I don't know if you say
Speaker 1: adinomiosis or adnomiosis people say it differently, and just a
Speaker 1: bunch of other stuff going on in there. I am
Speaker 1: now at the stage where I am back on my
Speaker 1: magic mountain. I like to call it. It's a very
Speaker 1: healing mountain. I don't know anybody here. I spend most
Speaker 1: of my time moving, renovating, healing, hanging out with my dog.
Speaker 1: And I thought, you know what, I'm so ready to
Speaker 1: have my last laparoscopy, do a big clear out of
Speaker 1: anything that's in the way there that's causing me any
Speaker 1: pain or strife. And then after that it's go time.
Speaker 1: I'm putting one of one of the fourteen embryos in
Speaker 1: my body and pray that I hold.
Speaker 2: Is that your plan for this year?
Speaker 1: Yes, so I'm hoping by the end of March I
Speaker 1: will be able to do my first embryo trans Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't go anywhere. We'll be back with Angie after
Speaker 2: this short break. What happened with you and Carlin?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what happened?
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to get out of that one. Look,
Speaker 1: I think I don't like to talk about him anymore
Speaker 1: at all. We didn't have the best break up, and
Speaker 1: anytime I was asked about it. I wanted to give
Speaker 1: my truth, but then that was kind of like a
Speaker 1: I would then get the repercussions. It's been so long
Speaker 1: that I hold no bad blood towards him. He's married, Yes,
Speaker 1: he has a baby, I think somebody told me. And
Speaker 1: as long as he is happy and he's his best version,
Speaker 1: because we weren't each other's best versions together by the end.
Speaker 1: At first it was lovely, and then the pandemic hit
Speaker 1: and it was just yes, it was just nasty. By
Speaker 1: the end, it was just we just did not vibe.
Speaker 2: Was the intensity of it too much? Too soon?
Speaker 1: I think on that show, you're like all you ever
Speaker 1: know is love, love, love, love, love, love love. You're
Speaker 1: taken away from your friends, your family, you have no phone,
Speaker 1: you've got producers around you. You're on like a movie
Speaker 1: set of love. Like it's so wild. When I look back,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, and you just like you
Speaker 1: then leave, And to be honest, I didn't know who
Speaker 1: I was going to pick. I was so torn by
Speaker 1: my top two their first time in history. They were like,
Speaker 1: there's never been a woman that just everybody always knows
Speaker 1: and they pretend they don't, But I did not know.
Speaker 1: I have made my mind up on that day, and
Speaker 1: I thought Carlum was the safest choice of I'm to
Speaker 1: be honest, he seemed really safe. He'd been married before.
Speaker 1: He was like super like chill compared to the other dudes. Right, yeah,
Speaker 1: but he just we gave it a year and then
Speaker 1: the pandemic hit. It was just too much time together
Speaker 1: and he and I just weren't compatible. Let's just say
Speaker 1: it like that, right.
Speaker 2: It's interesting because what you were saying about, I mean,
Speaker 2: I think there's often this disconnect when people leave a
Speaker 2: reality series, but particularly like The Bachelor's because you've literally
Speaker 2: had whistereia wrapped around every every pillar of every building
Speaker 2: that you go near, and then you step into the
Speaker 2: real world where MUD's splattering out of the gutter. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a real shot.
Speaker 1: It's like a drop, It's like and no one's.
Speaker 2: Laying out Yeah, no one's laying out a cheese platter
Speaker 2: for you with a buy a fire piece, with a
Speaker 2: cozy bland, and.
Speaker 1: No one's making you look like a Barbie doll every
Speaker 1: single day of your life. For eight weeks, you have
Speaker 1: full glam. All you care about is finding love and
Speaker 1: looking the right way and thinking that someone here is
Speaker 1: your one when really you don't know them. They're just
Speaker 1: telling you what you what they want you to know.
Speaker 1: And then it's the whirlwind of the press and everybody going,
Speaker 1: oh why didn't you pick this one? And oh my god,
Speaker 1: it was such it's such a full on show, like
Speaker 1: no one prepares you for it. It's pretty fucked up,
Speaker 1: to put it lightly.
Speaker 2: Well, when you go into it, is there an undertaking?
Speaker 2: Is there an undertaking or an understanding that of the
Speaker 2: mean that they have put in the hands that they
Speaker 2: do believe. Obviously they put some in because it's showbies
Speaker 2: and you need some friction, you need a bit of
Speaker 2: sand in the oyster so it can make a purpose. Yes,
Speaker 2: But is the understanding that they have put in some
Speaker 2: men who genuinely they believe are a match for you.
Speaker 1: That's what they tell you, But I don't. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think so, because back then it wasn't as toxic as
Speaker 1: it is now. It was still very much like we
Speaker 1: want the franchise to keep going because we have success
Speaker 1: stories like Tim and Anna and Sam and schez Oh
Speaker 1: I don't know how to say her name, probably yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and a bunch of others Maddie and Laura for example,
Speaker 1: Like there's so many amazing success stories.
Speaker 2: Yes, you actually think.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I could be Maddie and Laura, or
Speaker 1: I could be whoever is a bunch of them are
Speaker 1: still together? Jimmy, Yeah, like you do you well, that
Speaker 1: was after me, but you do hold that home. So
Speaker 1: I do believe back then, Yes, and they make you
Speaker 1: feel like they've picked the best people in the world
Speaker 1: for you, And of course I believe them. But no,
Speaker 1: I do think they do put a few in there.
Speaker 1: There were some goodies, but you look back and it
Speaker 1: wouldn't be people I date now, but in my twenties
Speaker 1: they were great for my twenties for sure.
Speaker 2: Who would you date now?
Speaker 1: From where the show.
Speaker 2: Anyway? Like, what's what's the type? What do you look for?
Speaker 1: Oh? Ultimately somebody now that I'm in my mid thirties,
Speaker 1: someone I feel really safe with, Somebody that makes me
Speaker 1: feel really brave though as well, that makes me feel
Speaker 1: that amongst my madness and chaos and exploration and sharing,
Speaker 1: like I'm safe, but they're proud of me, and I
Speaker 1: don't care about the parts. Like I said, I'm happy
Speaker 1: to be with a man woman Norminery treansgender like, I
Speaker 1: just love connection. I love laughing, I love being silly,
Speaker 1: I love feeling just I think it's safe because when
Speaker 1: you're safe, you can be your craziest, silliest, wildest self,
Speaker 1: right like you can be older things. So yeah, But
Speaker 1: in terms of looks, I'm I think it's just like,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I like I like more feminine men,
Speaker 1: like young that young blood kind of I like, you know,
Speaker 1: does he like girls? Does he like boys? I love that?
Speaker 1: But I'm open to whatever.
Speaker 2: You have always had this very strong, nurturing, caring side
Speaker 2: to you. At what point did you go, I'm going
Speaker 2: to do this on my own.
Speaker 1: Interestingly enough, a lot of people don't believe me when
Speaker 1: I say this, but my close friends and family, no,
Speaker 1: or people who I've met back in the day, I've
Speaker 1: always known it was opened to the chance to maybe
Speaker 1: have a baby with somebody else. Obviously, otherwise I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have done the bachelorette or potentially dated some other people.
Speaker 1: But deep down in my whole being, I knew that
Speaker 1: I was going to have my first baby on my own.
Speaker 1: I've always I've always thought it, and I've never met
Speaker 1: anyone that I want to have a baby with since
Speaker 1: that knowing, so I just thought, well, you ain't getting
Speaker 1: any younger. I'm thirty six next month, and I really
Speaker 1: just thought it, now's the time, Like I'm not waiting
Speaker 1: for anyone. I'm waiting for me to be the best
Speaker 1: version of me. But that could take forever. Every year
Speaker 1: I'm learning and becoming better on someone's worse and better
Speaker 1: and sometimes worse. So I'm like, I'm just going.
Speaker 2: To do it. I guess it's an eye a deep
Speaker 2: irony that any any woman can go out get pregnant,
Speaker 2: have a child. That's no questions asked, right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: but when you have to explore Yeah, when you have
Speaker 2: to explore one of these other fertility options, you know,
Speaker 2: fostering or adoption or IVA or whatever, you have to
Speaker 2: answer a lot of questions.
Speaker 1: Yeah you do, you have to ask you You.
Speaker 2: Like you're really thoroughly interrogated.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I've noticed since sharing there's a lot of support
Speaker 1: for the single mother single mothers by a choice, Like
Speaker 1: there's such a huge community, but there's no real platform
Speaker 1: for them. So I thought, this year, I'm going to
Speaker 1: go pedal to the metal and share everything that pops up.
Speaker 1: The good, the bad, the ugly, just to create conversation,
Speaker 1: just so we're talking about that. It's an option. I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people think after thirty, if you're
Speaker 1: not dating or you're not with somebody as a woman,
Speaker 1: you're a leg nobody wants you, or you must be
Speaker 1: really difficult, or she must be too career orientated, or
Speaker 1: she's a mole, or she's too picky or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, some of us just don't want to date,
Speaker 1: especially like Lucky. I'm queer, so I can date everybody
Speaker 1: because I'm a greedy bitch. But like the bar for
Speaker 1: men is in hell for people my age, probably people
Speaker 1: all ages. So I'm like, you don't have to settle,
Speaker 1: and you also don't have to take on this judgment
Speaker 1: that you want to baby on your own because a
Speaker 1: man doesn't want you, because number one, who cares if
Speaker 1: a man doesn't want you? But number two, that's actually
Speaker 1: not the case. I could go down to any old
Speaker 1: pub and, like you said, baga dude and have sex
Speaker 1: with him, and I'm sure everybody would be like, oh,
Speaker 1: well that's okay, you feel pregnant. At least you still
Speaker 1: had sex and someone picked you. It's like no, I'm
Speaker 1: picking me, I'm picking my donor, I'm picking when I
Speaker 1: want to do it, and I'm going to break some
Speaker 1: generational cycles while I'm at it. So it is very interesting,
Speaker 1: though it does come with a louder judgment.
Speaker 2: A lot of the criticisms that you were referring to
Speaker 2: then feel to me to be very I would almost
Speaker 2: think that they don't exist anymore, that that kind of
Speaker 2: thinking doesn't exist anymore. Because we have so many single parents,
Speaker 2: so many single mothers, so many women are struggling with
Speaker 2: fertility issues or couples or whatever whatever incarnation that is.
Speaker 2: There's still this pushback. Have you found this pushback?
Speaker 1: I have a bit. The majority has been amazing, but
Speaker 1: there are still people out there that are like, I
Speaker 1: don't understand why you would want to bring a baby
Speaker 1: into the world without a father. Well, number one, I
Speaker 1: may not have picked assist heat men, so I the
Speaker 1: baby wouldn't have another mother or whatever the person identifies as.
Speaker 1: So I feel like there would have always been something,
Speaker 1: But the fact I'm doing it on my own is
Speaker 1: another whole layer of almost like I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's fear based from a generation where they thought they
Speaker 1: could never have a kid without a man because number one,
Speaker 1: who would support them the judgment that comes with it,
Speaker 1: Like you're I don't know, like back then when we
Speaker 1: held so much pressure on what men thought of us,
Speaker 1: whereas now I think it's kind of doing a bit
Speaker 1: of a turn and a lot of us don't care.
Speaker 1: But there's still that internalized misogyny and misogynistic people that
Speaker 1: kind of show up in my page and yeah kind
Speaker 1: of are like, well, you're selfish because your kid won't
Speaker 1: have a dad, And I'm like, well, my kid will
Speaker 1: have so many amazing masculine and feminine energies. I have
Speaker 1: a lot of masculine energy in myself and a lot
Speaker 1: of my friends have feminine energy that are men. So
Speaker 1: it'll be this beautiful balance of like a family that
Speaker 1: I've cultivated for my baby, not just like some deadbeat
Speaker 1: person that I thought was the right person. And then
Speaker 1: I have to share the love of my life with
Speaker 1: like I don't know, I reckon I'd end up in
Speaker 1: jail if that was the case. I don't want to
Speaker 1: share my baby with some random I thought I loved
Speaker 1: it that they turned out to be an asshole.
Speaker 2: It's interesting a that you think that this imaginary person
Speaker 2: that you might have ended up with would have been
Speaker 2: an asshole.
Speaker 1: I know, isn't that it's so terrible?
Speaker 2: But yeah, isn't it telling? So it wouldn't have been
Speaker 2: It wouldn't have been a happy ever after. It would
Speaker 2: have been some dead beat by hook or by crook.
Speaker 2: As you were saying, you thought you were going to
Speaker 2: be a single mom.
Speaker 1: I just think that I just, you know what, the
Speaker 1: best way to say it is, it's just annoying. It's
Speaker 1: like when people don't want to have kids and they
Speaker 1: just know, and people kind of question them and make
Speaker 1: them feel shit that they don't want to be a mum,
Speaker 1: but they just know they didn't want to, so it's like, great,
Speaker 1: that's your choice. I just knew for my first child,
Speaker 1: I am opened down the truck with the universe has
Speaker 1: in store. Maybe I will have another baby with someone
Speaker 1: else or on my own and allow a partner to
Speaker 1: come in, but I just know, for my first child,
Speaker 1: I don't want to potentially have to share that part
Speaker 1: of my life. I want to be able to give
Speaker 1: this baby everything and not be torn or have somebody
Speaker 1: that comes in and doesn't, I don't know, not agree
Speaker 1: with me. I'm open to different people's opinions, but like
Speaker 1: just sharing that or it turning bad. I think because
Speaker 1: I've had at I haven't seen many great couples growing up.
Speaker 1: I didn't see it even in my own home. No,
Speaker 1: I hate saying that because I love my parents so much,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't always healthy.
Speaker 2: What about your your nanny and pop? How are you
Speaker 2: nanny and pop together? Because they were so such a
Speaker 2: big part of your.
Speaker 1: Huge I was brought up a lot by my grandparents.
Speaker 1: With my brother being so sick, my parents were away
Speaker 1: a lot that that was too separate. So my poppy died,
Speaker 1: oh my dad side, and then my ninety died, which
Speaker 1: was her mum. So that wasn't the couple. But their
Speaker 1: marriage was right, Yes, so both their marriages were had
Speaker 1: their ups and downs. For sure. I didn't ever really
Speaker 1: see or know all a healthy relationship, and I didn't
Speaker 1: I saw the outcome of that for my dad especially,
Speaker 1: and then for me too. What happened to him was
Speaker 1: projected onto me a lot. We're in a great place now,
Speaker 1: but I would never want my kid to go through
Speaker 1: what I went through. Without saying too much, and I'm
Speaker 1: will damn sure make sure they don't. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: just wanted to do that on my own, and if
Speaker 1: anyone's going to fuck up my kid, it could be me.
Speaker 2: Right. Well, it's interesting that you say that because because
Speaker 2: you just don't know. I mean, the thing is, when
Speaker 2: you bring a child into the world, you don't have
Speaker 2: control anymore, you know. I say that as someone who
Speaker 2: whose son had leukemia when he was six, right, my
Speaker 2: eldest son who's now twenty two, Praise be. But what
Speaker 2: I'm saying is you can't you can't anticipate, and you
Speaker 2: can't legislate against the world. So you might set off
Speaker 2: with the best intentions of like you said, I'm going
Speaker 2: to do this, you know, without having to compromise the
Speaker 2: way that I want to love this child. But you
Speaker 2: don't know what the world is going to throw up
Speaker 2: to you.
Speaker 1: No, not at all. I have no idea what could come,
Speaker 1: and what I know from life is that it certainly
Speaker 1: throws a lot of spanners in the works. All the time.
Speaker 1: Life has been no easy ride. But I definitely know
Speaker 1: that I'm going to do the best I can to
Speaker 1: make sure my child is in a situation where they
Speaker 1: feel unconditional love and always know that I am on
Speaker 1: their team and will always listen and love them no
Speaker 1: matter what, and that's the best I can do. And
Speaker 1: anything else that shows up for us, I'll deal with
Speaker 1: it with my family and friends and my chosen, chosen
Speaker 1: family for the baby, my hopeful baby. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I can fall pregnant yet, but I pray that
Speaker 1: I can.
Speaker 2: It seems like you've been so intentional about this choice.
Speaker 2: Was it a do you feel like you've been on
Speaker 2: this path and one step has led to the other.
Speaker 2: Did you always have a knowingness that this was what
Speaker 2: you were going to do, or was there a moment
Speaker 2: where you thought, I'm going to start this process.
Speaker 1: There was always a knowingness that I wanted to have
Speaker 1: a baby, like I've always wanted to be a mum.
Speaker 1: I have been, and I was a nanny or through
Speaker 1: my from eighteen to twenty eight and looks after my
Speaker 1: beautiful housemate Tom, like rescue dogs. Like I always knew
Speaker 1: I was going to be a mum. I didn't know
Speaker 1: how that looked. I was always open to adoption, fostering,
Speaker 1: having my own baby, and then obviously when big miracles
Speaker 1: popped up for me and my manager said you know,
Speaker 1: you've always talked about freezing your eggs with your women's
Speaker 1: health practitioner Big Miracles has just asked if you want
Speaker 1: to share it, And I was like, well, I've shared
Speaker 1: every bloody thing else, dating dudes, eaten crap in the jungle,
Speaker 1: watching TV, so why not? Like why not? And I
Speaker 1: just thought that was a sign from the universe, just
Speaker 1: like I do with most things. And I did it,
Speaker 1: and it just turned out to be the best thing,
Speaker 1: probably one of the best things I've ever done.
Speaker 2: Ah, why do you say that because you had the
Speaker 2: outcome that because of the.
Speaker 1: Yeah that I think obviously the outcome after so many
Speaker 1: years of hearing you know, you've got endometrios, so you
Speaker 1: might not be able to feel pregnant, or you've got
Speaker 1: this and this will make this harder. And then being
Speaker 1: the age I was, I may not get that many eggs.
Speaker 1: So the fact that I did get my result, but
Speaker 1: not just that, the fact that I could stand up
Speaker 1: there as a single woman, as a single mother by choice,
Speaker 1: with all my chronic and visible illnesses, and share the
Speaker 1: platform for other women who might want to do the
Speaker 1: same thing. That to me is like, if I can
Speaker 1: just help one other person, like, I'm so stoked.
Speaker 2: With that if you had to give a reason. Do
Speaker 2: they ask on the show why you want to have
Speaker 2: a baby?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: It's a funny thing, isn't it, because often it's we
Speaker 2: know that people want to have a baby or they
Speaker 2: don't want to have a baby. But it's a rare
Speaker 2: thing to answer that question why you want to have
Speaker 2: a baby?
Speaker 1: Yeah? It is, actually because a lot of people probably
Speaker 1: would like throw them a bit, right, they'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: because a lot of the time people probably think that
Speaker 1: they were told that they have to have a baby,
Speaker 1: so that's all they know is to be a mum.
Speaker 1: Where is right?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, where is? And maybe it's seen as a
Speaker 2: rite of passage. And obviously we have a biological imperative
Speaker 2: to have children or it would be the end of us. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so there is that as well. It can be innate
Speaker 2: in a person and mostly ease. Yeah, but when you're
Speaker 2: consciously choosing it, what is the answer to that?
Speaker 1: The answer is I want to have a baby because
Speaker 1: I feel like I have so much that I can
Speaker 1: give to a baby. I think a lot of time
Speaker 1: when people do IVF, especially single mothers. One woman said
Speaker 1: to me it's so selfish. All you talk about is
Speaker 1: how much you want to have a baby, And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: that's how it starts, is that you make that decision, right.
Speaker 1: I'm sure if I had a partner, you wouldn't be
Speaker 1: saying that. But I feel like that knowing in itself,
Speaker 1: the love I have in my heart, my whole body.
Speaker 1: When I just leave and look and look at that
Speaker 1: little rat in the back there, my dog, I just
Speaker 1: know that feeling of love, and I know that feeling
Speaker 1: of love that I had for tom, my housemate, who
Speaker 1: was my best friend. Like that feeling to me is
Speaker 1: just like so consuming, And I want a relationship like
Speaker 1: my mum and I have, and I want to be
Speaker 1: able to share a life with a baby like that
Speaker 1: to me is going to be the love of my life,
Speaker 1: not some partner, Like I don't know, it's just a knowing.
Speaker 1: That's that's I just know that's what I want to
Speaker 1: want to experience.
Speaker 2: And then when you go embark on a journey, this
Speaker 2: is a proper journey like this, Yeah, how have you
Speaker 2: found you in your immediate circle? Obviously you have a
Speaker 2: lot of really tight and supportive friends. Was there any
Speaker 2: resistance from within those from those that loved you.
Speaker 1: Not my friends. My friends have always known me to
Speaker 1: kind of walk to the beat of my own drum
Speaker 1: and they never know what I'm doing. They was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: oh you're going there. Okay, cool, she's doing that. But
Speaker 1: I think my dad wasn't like that sure about it.
Speaker 1: He was a little bit like he doesn't get it.
Speaker 1: He does now, he fully gets it. He's been very,
Speaker 1: very unwealthy years now and we take every day as
Speaker 1: it comes with him and he would just love to
Speaker 1: be a granddad. But he didn't understand the whole like
Speaker 1: why would I put myself through all of that? And
Speaker 1: why would I, you know, do that? And he doesn't
Speaker 1: have to understand it at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: he'll never know.
Speaker 2: The public when he putting himself through all of that.
Speaker 2: Is that like the public pushback that he's thinking of
Speaker 2: for the public scrutiny or does he mean raising a
Speaker 2: child on your own?
Speaker 1: He means the whole, the whole IVYF thing. I think
Speaker 1: he meant like putting my body through doing it on
Speaker 1: my own. Yeah, the injections, the surgery is he already
Speaker 1: knows how much pin I've been in with my chronic
Speaker 1: and visible illnesses and all that. He doesn't understand the
Speaker 1: pain or know much about it. But yeah, he kind
Speaker 1: of says, you know, kids are tough. Doing it on
Speaker 1: your own is tough. But we're also completely different people.
Speaker 1: So I what he normally says, I did the opposite anyway,
Speaker 1: So no other than him, no one's really questioned it.
Speaker 1: They're just like, go off, they go off six.
Speaker 2: We'll be back with Angie in just a moment. You're
Speaker 2: listening to No Filter. You said a really beautiful thing
Speaker 2: when you were discussing this. You said, I am the
Speaker 2: right person, and it was just so simple and powerful.
Speaker 2: What like, what do you think it took you to
Speaker 2: truly believe that or was it something that you've always known.
Speaker 1: I think something in me always knows that whatever I'm doing,
Speaker 1: I'm doing from my level of consciousness. It's never malicious,
Speaker 1: it's never deliberate if it's bad. I think that I
Speaker 1: definitely waited because I didn't want to just settle with
Speaker 1: somebody in my twenties or not do everything I wanted
Speaker 1: to do. I don't know what that is selfish. I
Speaker 1: wanted to travel the world, I wanted to study, I
Speaker 1: wanted to work in behind the scenes in television I
Speaker 1: wanted to do, and then this other stuff kind of
Speaker 1: just happened for me. So I wrote it the wave
Speaker 1: or whatever you want to call it. But ultimately I
Speaker 1: wanted to wait till I knew, yeah, who I was,
Speaker 1: and get a lot of therapy and you know, work
Speaker 1: on myself. I've done a lot of woo woo healing
Speaker 1: stuff here on the mountain. I'd love all that, you know,
Speaker 1: shaken that shit out, somatic healing from all the pain
Speaker 1: and trauma women's store in our wombs. Like I wanted
Speaker 1: to do all of that. I'm not saying I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be perfect. I'm sure that I'll do stuff and my
Speaker 1: kid will be like that was cooked, and I'll be
Speaker 1: the first to go okay instead of going and being
Speaker 1: the victim, I'll be like, okay, oh my god, how
Speaker 1: can I be better? Like let's fix this, Let's break
Speaker 1: this cycle of like generational trauma, like we all store
Speaker 1: it from great great grandmother's everything I've learned, so I just, yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought, you know what, I've done a lot of work.
Speaker 1: I could keep doing work forever, and I still will.
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to keep waiting to be the
Speaker 1: best version of me because I don't know what she
Speaker 1: looks like. And I'm still going to stuff up, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm going to keep trying my very best
Speaker 1: for sure.
Speaker 2: You know, because you talked earlier about your isolated life.
Speaker 1: Yes, what does.
Speaker 2: Your daily life on a mountain in Queensland look like?
Speaker 2: See in you? Yeah, you wake up in the are
Speaker 2: you near a village or a town or like what
Speaker 2: happens on the daily?
Speaker 1: It's not like I think I'm making it out, just
Speaker 1: sound like. It's very like remote. So it's Tambourine Mountain,
Speaker 1: which is Gold Coast hinter Lands. I don't mind sharing
Speaker 1: that because it's already for It's a beautiful place. It's
Speaker 1: just such a beautiful It's just different from when I'm
Speaker 1: in Sydney and it's like go go, go go go,
Speaker 1: or Melbourne, which I love both cities. But when I'm here,
Speaker 1: I get to just be like a full grub Like
Speaker 1: I don't shower sometimes the days I just am upstairs
Speaker 1: scrub it and clean it. I'm organizing tradesmen to come out.
Speaker 1: I'm you know, just walking the beautiful gallery walk and
Speaker 1: going to the markets. Everybody's really down to earth but
Speaker 1: also very it's very kind of like country style, you know,
Speaker 1: pay cash at hand. I'll turn up if I want.
Speaker 1: Like it's real old school, and I'm on town. I'm
Speaker 1: not on town water, I'm on water tank. So it's
Speaker 1: just like all this learning I never knew and I
Speaker 1: just love it. So I'm not here a lot, but
Speaker 1: i am based here now. I'm not renting it out
Speaker 1: anymore and I'm fixing the old gal up and I
Speaker 1: I just love it. It keeps me busy while I'm
Speaker 1: not on set or running around like a headless triock.
Speaker 2: Well that's interesting because professionally, I mean what you're talking about,
Speaker 2: I mean your ongoing health situations, because there's quite a
Speaker 2: few of them require a lot of money. A baby
Speaker 2: requires a lot of money. Luckily the TV show covered
Speaker 2: the I'm imagining the embryos and that part of the process.
Speaker 2: But that's a lot of money that you need to
Speaker 2: make professionally. How do you identify what you are and
Speaker 2: what work you do?
Speaker 1: Oh? At the moment, nothing, I mean I work. The
Speaker 1: last four years I've done. I was a co host
Speaker 1: on Space events, so I guess I would say I
Speaker 1: was a TV host for the last four years, co
Speaker 1: host right that. Obviously, back in the day when I
Speaker 1: was being thrown all these big shows like The Jungle
Speaker 1: and Bachelorette and Dancing with the Stars, that's when TV
Speaker 1: had a lot of money. Now TV doesn't have a
Speaker 1: lot of money. So I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: assume I'm rich. Yes I am not exactly I'm not
Speaker 1: rich at all.
Speaker 2: Exactly why I'm asking why?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: Like, how do you like literally how do you make
Speaker 2: your living?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: What's the main I know that you're very active and
Speaker 2: a actually great advocate in the space for women's health,
Speaker 2: but that also doesn't really is not known to be
Speaker 2: highly profitable, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's really not. I think in a way, I know
Speaker 1: that I'm very, very blessed that I had those opportunities
Speaker 1: of doing all those shows pre pandemic where money was
Speaker 1: still thrown at television, and I was really smart with
Speaker 1: my money. And I've also been really blessed enough to
Speaker 1: keep working in the industry. On Space Invaders, I've done
Speaker 1: a bunch of podcasts. I do a bit of social media.
Speaker 1: I'm not a big social media girly, although I'm really
Speaker 1: trying this year because I just think it's a great
Speaker 1: way for a single mom to make money, but also
Speaker 1: to share this platform. I'm pretty scrappy. I'll do anything.
Speaker 1: Twenty bucks is twenty bucks, especially for my unborn child,
Speaker 1: so I'll I'll see what this year holds. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, it's so expensive. I bought this house before
Speaker 1: everything went nuts, so I'll probably have to sell this house,
Speaker 1: buy something smaller and live closer to my family, so
Speaker 1: I have the support. But yeah, I'm not rolling in money.
Speaker 1: I have to plan these things now because having chronic
Speaker 1: and visible illnesses is so expensive, Owning a home as expensive,
Speaker 1: and having a baby on your own is so expensive.
Speaker 1: So I'm seeing life is experience. Life is so expensive.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. Yeah, but yeah, I'm putting trust in opportunities
Speaker 1: coming up.
Speaker 2: And yeah, if someone is listening to these, yes, and
Speaker 2: they are also considering trading a different path, but maybe
Speaker 2: they don't have the courage to say it out loud,
Speaker 2: what would you say to them, poor, Oh.
Speaker 1: Gosh, so many things. Firstly, it would be that you're
Speaker 1: not alone. Even though you're choosing a single mother by choice,
Speaker 1: you're certainly not alone. There are so many amazing women
Speaker 1: or parents out there that are single parents, but by choice.
Speaker 1: There are so many amazing single mothers out there. You're
Speaker 1: going to get a lot of projection. A lot, and
Speaker 1: like I've said before, opinions are like assholes. Everybody's go on.
Speaker 1: So you've got to take on what benefits you. I
Speaker 1: guess you can't be taking on the projection of society,
Speaker 1: especially a very patriarchal world we live in. You've got
Speaker 1: to do what feels right for you. And if you
Speaker 1: feel like you want a baby, and that's just a
Speaker 1: knowing in your body, why shouldn't you give yourself that chance.
Speaker 1: I think it's one of those things you'd probably regret
Speaker 1: it more of you don't at least try than not right.
Speaker 1: And I know that comes from a place of privilege.
Speaker 1: I know it costs so much money, but you can start,
Speaker 1: you know, putting like my women's health practicing to me
Speaker 1: years ago instead of back in the day when I
Speaker 1: used to smash back about bottle of savvy, be because
Speaker 1: I was in pain, or you know, go get your
Speaker 1: nails done. You have to. Unfortunately for women, we have
Speaker 1: to put money away earlier because we're not fully supported
Speaker 1: in the health department. So you've got to kind of
Speaker 1: start advocating for yourself and saving until changes happened, and
Speaker 1: I pray that they do, and until then, I'll keep
Speaker 1: advocating for y'all. You've got me on your team.
Speaker 2: What do you want, Angie Kent to look like at
Speaker 2: the end of this year. We're at the very start
Speaker 2: of it. If you have with your powers of woo
Speaker 2: woo an image, what is that vision?
Speaker 1: Ah? That vision would be to be pregnant. If I
Speaker 1: fall straight away, I will have hopefully a Christmas baby
Speaker 1: or a Capricorn. I've got enough of lows in my life,
Speaker 1: but I would pray that I am pregnant. I could
Speaker 1: if that's what I could picture. I would still be
Speaker 1: loved to be able to have my house, but I
Speaker 1: feel that it won't be that unless I win the
Speaker 1: lotto or something amazing comes my way. But living close
Speaker 1: to my family, being near my and dad and my
Speaker 1: brothers for the first time properly in years, to get
Speaker 1: second chance of having a family all together, I'm so
Speaker 1: excited for that, and I'm just I hope that it happens.
Speaker 2: The cycling back to your TV family, How's ev through
Speaker 2: all of.
Speaker 1: These Evie lives in Melbourne. She lives in the country's
Speaker 1: side in Melbourne, and I'm all the way in Tambourines,
Speaker 1: so we don't get to see each other that much.
Speaker 1: But she's supportive. She's on the opposite spectrum of children
Speaker 1: wanting than me. She very happily has always said she
Speaker 1: doesn't want children, and.
Speaker 2: She's quite clear.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's always and I've always supported that for her.
Speaker 1: I watched her with you know, Tom and Nanny and
Speaker 1: herself through the years, and I could see that she
Speaker 1: had that side to her. She has that caring side,
Speaker 1: but she never wanted to have kids later on, So
Speaker 1: we're kind of different in that regard, but we hold
Speaker 1: space for that. And I know that as soon as
Speaker 1: she sees my baby, if I am blessed enough to
Speaker 1: have my baby, she'll just love it sick like she
Speaker 1: does all the dogs she rescues.
Speaker 2: Andie Kent, you're very fascinating person. I look forward to
Speaker 2: seeing whatever reality show you're on. There no reality show
Speaker 2: keep abreast of you have no doubt said that after everyone.
Speaker 1: I have, Oh for sure I have.
Speaker 2: Did you say that after every while? Yeah, well you're like,
Speaker 2: I'm never doing that again?
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably, But then again, I'm a sicker. I love life,
Speaker 1: I love stuff that if the universe throws something at me,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna do it, Like I'm never going
Speaker 1: to look back when I'm older and go, oh god,
Speaker 1: I wish I was more boring.
Speaker 2: You know, you're very You seem very optimistic and energized
Speaker 2: in the face of some challenges that would bring a
Speaker 2: lot of people to their knees, you know, just your
Speaker 2: physical challenges alone. Has there been a time where you
Speaker 2: have been at such a low.
Speaker 1: Eb Yes, oh my god, so much off and on,
Speaker 1: especially over not last year. So much. Last year I
Speaker 1: really finally felt amazing. I think that was given my
Speaker 1: diagnosis with ADHD and getting the right medication finally have
Speaker 1: I used to have horrible lows with my PMDD to
Speaker 1: the point that I didn't want to be here once
Speaker 1: a month. That's what pmd D does pre menstrual disparag disorder.
Speaker 1: Like I just wanted most five to ten days, wanted
Speaker 1: to die. So I've been so so low and in
Speaker 1: my pain and in hospital thinking what's the point, Like
Speaker 1: I pay all this money to be a woman just
Speaker 1: to suffer and never get answers. But I there's just
Speaker 1: something in me, I guess that always wants to show
Speaker 1: up and understand and share so other people with wom
Speaker 1: rooms don't have to suffer as much as I did.
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know. That's why I try to share
Speaker 1: as much as I do. But yeah, and I'm freaking petrified.
Speaker 1: After my laparoscopy, I heal for eight weeks and then
Speaker 1: it's my first embryo transfer. I'm petrified that I will
Speaker 1: hear what a lot of people hear. You're not pregnant,
Speaker 1: You're not pregnant, you're not pregnant. And I'm just focusing
Speaker 1: on trying to only see that I am pregnant. I
Speaker 1: am pregnant, I am pregnant, just to get through as well.
Speaker 1: But I am still very scared.
Speaker 2: Of course. And also that is, like we said, that
Speaker 2: is something that is totally outside of your control. So
Speaker 2: there's an aspect in which, at some point many women
Speaker 2: have had to surrender that desire. And if God forbid,
Speaker 2: you had to surrender that desire, what would your life
Speaker 2: look like? How would you what would you what gear
Speaker 2: would you shift into?
Speaker 1: Just like everybody, I guess, you have to surrender, pray
Speaker 1: that you'll be Okay, get the right support and maybe
Speaker 1: channel that love that I thought of having my own child.
Speaker 1: Maybe I could adopt or foster. I don't know what
Speaker 1: that will look like for me, but I really would
Speaker 1: love to be a parent, and I'm not closed off
Speaker 1: just from having my own. I would love to have
Speaker 1: it another way. I would look, I would look at
Speaker 1: that path next. But yeah, that's I really I've got
Speaker 1: my heart set on this now. And there is such
Speaker 1: a feeling and that knowing that you just hope that
Speaker 1: that's that's what's gonna happened, but you also you don't know,
Speaker 1: you really don't know. But yeah, I'll pick myself up
Speaker 1: like I always do, and I'll I'll find another way.
Speaker 2: I guess either way, Angie, your arms will be full.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I hope so.
Speaker 2: And that's a blessing.
Speaker 1: Yes, definitely, there's love to give in so many other ways,
Speaker 1: and I'm ready and willing to give it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but not to any of the mountain me.
Speaker 1: Look never say never.
Speaker 2: I'm not giving it to the mountain me.
Speaker 1: I'm giving it to anybody. I'm bloody boring. I thought
Speaker 1: I could at least maybe get a shag in before
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant, but I don't put in any bloody is there.
Speaker 2: You know how you said that you were queer earlier,
Speaker 2: and I've heard you use expression pans sexual. At what
Speaker 2: point did you make that discovery in your life.
Speaker 1: I've always been really attracted to all different types of people,
Speaker 1: but I was brought up really Catholic, and back then
Speaker 1: when I was growing up in nineties and early two thousands,
Speaker 1: it was very much just like you know, you're gonna leave,
Speaker 1: you're gonna get a husband, you're gonna have babies, blah blah,
Speaker 1: blah blah. I always was attracted to women or queer people,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't until after Bachelorette where I thought, God,
Speaker 1: if I can't be content with like dating twenty dudes
Speaker 1: like I got. I mean, like, I'm sure they weren't
Speaker 1: all like the best dudes in the world, but still
Speaker 1: I got shown twenty and I was still like wanting
Speaker 1: there was something missing.
Speaker 2: It was a buffet.
Speaker 1: It was quite the buffet, to put it nicely, And
Speaker 1: then I just thought, you know what, I'm just it's
Speaker 1: the pandemic too. Like I'm on an online date, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna feel into this whole pan sexual thing. Because I
Speaker 1: love hearts, not parts. I don't really care what you packing.
Speaker 1: I just love like humans. And I started doing it
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, okay, yeah, I definitely definitely
Speaker 1: like gals and queer people as well. And I haven't
Speaker 1: dated a dude in five years. I've mostly only dated
Speaker 1: women or queer people. Yeah, so I haven't been with
Speaker 1: a man in forever. So we'll see, we'll see what
Speaker 1: I'm into after. If I get to have a baby,
Speaker 1: my hormones may all change and all I'll want is
Speaker 1: penis again, and I'll be spewing about that.
Speaker 2: Well, I remember in Big Miracles, your friends gave you
Speaker 2: a penis crystal. Yes you had to strugg.
Speaker 1: Yeah I did, they go. I wonder what that is actually,
Speaker 1: I think I found it the other day amongst my crystals,
Speaker 1: but yeah, they did. They called it the penis crystal.
Speaker 1: And let's you know what, let's see, let's hope it
Speaker 1: works with the baby. But then maybe a penis of
Speaker 1: its own will enter my life after that, who knows.
Speaker 1: I'm open to all.
Speaker 2: What's striking about Angie is not just the decisions she's made,
Speaker 2: but the way she speaks about them with clarity, softness,
Speaker 2: and a deep trust in herself. There's no defensiveness, no
Speaker 2: need to justify, just honesty about where she is and
Speaker 2: what feels right for her life. By choosing to share
Speaker 2: this part of her journey so openly, Angie has given
Speaker 2: voice to something many women are quietly carrying, questions about timing,
Speaker 2: about love, about motherhood, and about whether the life you
Speaker 2: want has to follow a script written by someone else.
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to No Filter. The executive producer
Speaker 2: of No Filter is Nama Brown. The senior producer is
Speaker 2: Breed Player. Audio production is by Jacob Brown and video
Speaker 2: editing is by Josh Green. This episode was recorded at
Speaker 2: Session in Progress Studios and I am your host, Kate
Speaker 2: lane Brook. I'll see you next Monday. Mumma Mia acknowledges
Speaker 2: the traditional owners of the land and waters that this
Speaker 2: podcast is recorded on