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Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mom with Mia podcast. Deep down

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Speaker 1: in my whole being, I knew that I was going

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Speaker 1: to have my first baby on my own. I've always

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Speaker 1: thought it, and I've never met anyone that I want

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Speaker 1: to have a baby with since that knowing. So I

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Speaker 1: just thought, well, you ain't getting any younger. I'm thirty

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Speaker 1: six next month, and I really just thought it, now's

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Speaker 1: the time, like I'm not waiting for anyone.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to No Filter. I'm Kate Lanebrook and

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Speaker 2: today we're welcoming back to the show. Someone you will

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Speaker 2: definitely remember. Angie Kent first joined us in twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 2: just after the Bachelourette, when she was newly in love

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Speaker 2: and stepping into a very public new chapter. Well, a

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Speaker 2: lot has changed since then. In the years since, Angie

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Speaker 2: has gone inward, done a lot of reflection, made some

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Speaker 2: deeply intentional choices about how she wants her life to live,

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Speaker 2: and she's also moved into a yurt. Most recently, she

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Speaker 2: shared her decision to become a solo mum by choice,

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Speaker 2: documenting her IVF journey and opening up a much bigger

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Speaker 2: conversation about modern motherhood, partnership, and autonomy. This is a thoughtful,

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Speaker 2: honest conversation about trusting your instincts, letting go of timelines

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Speaker 2: that no longer fit and maybe never did, and choosing

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Speaker 2: a life that feels aligned even when it looks different

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Speaker 2: to what you imagined. Here is Angie Kent. Angie Kent,

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Speaker 2: welcome to No Filter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. I'm a bit

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Speaker 1: excited now.

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Speaker 2: I know this is not your first rodeo, because you

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Speaker 2: also had a rodeo or rodeo with mea in twenty nineteen.

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Speaker 2: I did when you were fresh off BATCHI.

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Speaker 1: I remember that now. That was such a good chat.

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Speaker 2: And if you think about that version of you now,

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Speaker 2: does it feel like a version or does it feel

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Speaker 2: like you're on a continuum of evolution and the same you.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that's such a good question. You know what a

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Speaker 1: bit of both. I think I look back at that person,

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Speaker 1: what's that twenty nineteen, so six seven six seven years ago?

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Speaker 1: And I think, who.

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Speaker 2: Is sixty six years ago?

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Speaker 1: Who is that little person that had no real idea

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Speaker 1: of anything to do with a television or dating multiple

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Speaker 1: people at once, and then all the media and whatnot,

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Speaker 1: And then now looking at myself thinking it is the

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Speaker 1: same person, but I've just I don't know, I feel different,

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Speaker 1: but I also feel the same, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It's a hard one.

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Speaker 2: The whole point of being alive is that where you

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Speaker 2: start at A is not where you end up at

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Speaker 2: Z or along the way at C or F or whatever.

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Speaker 2: Well that's so you are constantly evolving, but you seem

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Speaker 2: to have had many incarnations. When you started on goggle Box, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and you were with ev did that feel to you

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Speaker 2: like the start of something or just an adventure?

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Speaker 1: I feel like that was the start of something in

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Speaker 1: the in terms of us being on television, but in

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Speaker 1: terms of our relationship and where we were. We lived

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Speaker 1: together with a man with down syndrome and rescue dogs,

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Speaker 1: and it felt like and I kind of, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was at that age where I was. I would

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Speaker 1: have been just twenty five when we started Gogglebox, And

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Speaker 1: when you're twenty five, I feel like you feel like

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Speaker 1: the world is on your shoulders. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: it is. I don't know why we think that. Maybe

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Speaker 1: it's because we just turn into adults around that age, really,

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Speaker 1: and I felt so like, what am they going to

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Speaker 1: do with my life? I'm just you know, I'm just

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Speaker 1: kind of nannying and working behind the scenes in production

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Speaker 1: and I'm not really dating. And you know, you hit

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Speaker 1: that twenty five year old age and you feel like

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Speaker 1: society's like, so, when are you're going to get a

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Speaker 1: boyfriend or a girlfriend, or when are you gonna have

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Speaker 1: your real career? And then goggle Box kind of came

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Speaker 1: and it did kind of feel like, wow, like what

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Speaker 1: is going to happen with this? And we kind of

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Speaker 1: rode the wave and it went kind of crazy there

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Speaker 1: for a while. It was it was quite the adventure.

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Speaker 2: What you're describing really is the quintessential caught to life crisis.

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Speaker 2: I think, yeah, that happens, you know, mid twenties. I

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Speaker 2: mean some people have it their whole life. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: I think particularly in modern times because there's so much comparison. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and comparison really eats awayat at your notion of self

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Speaker 2: worth or direction.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that's what it is if you compare

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Speaker 1: yourself to say, for me, people back home where they

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Speaker 1: had already been married for three or four years, I'm

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Speaker 1: originally from the Sunshine Coast or you know, they already

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Speaker 1: started having kids, and I was always this kind of

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Speaker 1: classified as this wild person that left as soon as

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Speaker 1: she graduated from high school and went to university and

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Speaker 1: lived in America, Like I always kind of did the

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Speaker 1: opposite to what was expected of me. So then when I, yeah,

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Speaker 1: hit twenty five, you feel like your quarter life crisis,

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Speaker 1: Like you feel so old, and I look back and

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Speaker 1: I just want to shriek myself and be like, you're

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Speaker 1: so young. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't

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Speaker 1: be so frickin' serious, because I feel like I'm less

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Speaker 1: serious now than I was then in terms of feeling

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Speaker 1: everything so deeply. But I think that also comes with

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Speaker 1: age therapy, the right diagnosis. I'm now medicated very well

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Speaker 1: for my ADHD and my autism. Well, not that you

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Speaker 1: can be medicated for autism, but I understand it better

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Speaker 1: now that I'm like, I feel things and I can

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Speaker 1: kind of like go, okay, that's what that is, Let

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Speaker 1: it go, that's what that is, instead of being like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, my world is going to end, like

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Speaker 1: it's just a feeling now. And I think that's one

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Speaker 1: of the best things about getting older, is that you

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Speaker 1: kind of get to learn more about yourself in that

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Speaker 1: way and not compare as much.

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Speaker 2: When you talk about your upbringing. And I was interesting

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Speaker 2: because I was listening to you on a podcast where

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Speaker 2: you just alluded to the fact that you said you

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Speaker 2: had a lot of anxiety growing up.

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Speaker 1: Yes, a lot of anxiety.

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Speaker 2: What was the origin of that or what was the

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Speaker 2: manifestation of that? Do you think I think.

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Speaker 1: That I looking back now, I do understand it probably

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Speaker 1: wasn't just anxiety. It probably was undiagnosed, a lot of it,

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Speaker 1: undiagnosed ADHD and not knowing my place right, I guess

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Speaker 1: with having a brother that was so kind of easily

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Speaker 1: diagnosed with back then you would say aspergis we don't

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Speaker 1: say that now. Obviously it's just autistic spectrum. And he

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Speaker 1: had a chromosome abdomality, so everything was kind of like

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Speaker 1: focused on his diagnosis and how he was held in

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Speaker 1: the world, whereas I was the oldest sibling and it

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Speaker 1: was kind of like you needed to do this, you

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Speaker 1: need to do that. And I always kind of felt

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Speaker 1: like I had to be perfect, and yeah, I kind

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Speaker 1: of just carried on with me until my teens, and

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Speaker 1: I yeah, kind of took it out on my body

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Speaker 1: and ways of having a severe eating disorder, and then

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Speaker 1: obviously that creates more anxiety because of information and everything

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Speaker 1: and just navigating family. I mean, everybody has a story

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Speaker 1: with their family, and it wasn't always easy growing up.

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Speaker 1: So I was quite an anxious but very high masking person.

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Speaker 1: I could perform right.

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Speaker 2: Well, I was going to say, because when the country

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Speaker 2: fell in love with you on goggle Box, and they did,

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Speaker 2: and it was a different time than when everybody was

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Speaker 2: watching that show, everybody was watching television and everybody was

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Speaker 2: watching you watching television wild, So it did come across

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Speaker 2: as just so like an authentically happy young woman who

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Speaker 2: was in a very unusual situation. You mentioned Tom earlier,

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Speaker 2: the young man that you lived with, Yes, and the

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Speaker 2: situation with Ev where it was just lovely to see. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And yet what you're saying is that under that there

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Speaker 2: was not It was not the happy young woman that

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Speaker 2: we were reading on the screen.

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Speaker 1: Not always. No, I think in those moments where you

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Speaker 1: saw me with Ev and the dogs, I was genuinely

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Speaker 1: happy watching television with my best friend in the world

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Speaker 1: and having all those rescue dogs around, and we got

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Speaker 1: to drink whatever we wanted. So obviously we're always a

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Speaker 1: little bit buzz the first few seasons, we were like

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Speaker 1: they had to kind of realist in and be like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you probably can't get that drunk and say that stuff anymore.

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Speaker 1: Thank god I was back then, otherwise we would have

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Speaker 1: been a cancel. These days, you could not say the

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Speaker 1: shit we we used to say and be that drunk

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Speaker 1: on television. Now, it's just different times. It was like

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Speaker 1: ten years ago, right, But behind all of that, there

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Speaker 1: was a girl that had severe eating disorder for fifteen years.

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Speaker 1: What I thought was just chronic anxiety, navigating just the

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Speaker 1: highs and lows of my body forever changing. I didn't

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Speaker 1: know I had endometriosis, adino myosis, pcos PMDD, all these

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Speaker 1: things I didn't know, So I would often just numb, numb, numb, numb, numb,

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Speaker 1: whether that be alcohol, whether that be at the time

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Speaker 1: severely bollimic, whether that be working myself to the ground.

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Speaker 1: I was just constantly numbing so I could be the

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Speaker 1: perfect person that I thought was for everybody. So yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't what you saw on Google Books. Was definitely Angie.

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Speaker 1: But there was another side of me, for sure.

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Speaker 2: And in a way it seems like if you look

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Speaker 2: at the trajectory of your life, which has been marked

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Speaker 2: with some really significant reality television moments. It's like the

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Speaker 2: quest for yourself is to return to the essence of

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Speaker 2: who that woman is, that young woman, which is you,

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Speaker 2: but having learnt things and divesting yourself of the things

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Speaker 2: that aren't serving you along the way.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I love that. That's so perfectly put. I feel

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Speaker 1: like that person on the couch that you saw that

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Speaker 1: had no idea of you know, the judgment from the

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Speaker 1: outside world or social media. Really even back then. I

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Speaker 1: love that person so innocent and so open to say

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Speaker 1: whatever came to her mind, but also with the knowledge

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Speaker 1: of how to better look after myself, how to stick

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Speaker 1: up for myself, how to not take things on, to

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Speaker 1: know more about therapy, medication, all of that. I love

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Speaker 1: the two mixed together as a beautiful way to look

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Speaker 1: at it. I think I support that Angie Moore, like

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Speaker 1: I just want to cuddle her and not be upset.

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Speaker 1: Whereas you know you spend so much time beating yourself up,

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Speaker 1: going why did you do that back then? But now

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Speaker 1: I look at her and I just want to like

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Speaker 1: squeeze a little face and say, you know what you

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Speaker 1: were doing the best you could Joe, you were doing

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Speaker 1: the best you could, and the.

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Speaker 2: Best was great. But the essence when I talk about

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Speaker 2: the essence of you, and this leads us onto the

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Speaker 2: next sort of chapter, the essence of you was someone

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Speaker 2: who seemed to have confidence in the fact that they

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Speaker 2: were loved and lovable. Right, that's just the essence of

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Speaker 2: what you projected. And then yet not too many years later,

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Speaker 2: you ended up being the Bachelorette, and I was astounded.

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Speaker 2: I remember this series because I remember you saying you

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Speaker 2: had never been in love.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't think so, not at the time, not

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Speaker 1: like that truly madly, deeply loved. But to be hones,

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Speaker 1: As I've gotten older, I feel like I have been

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Speaker 1: in love, but in different ways, like I am so

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Speaker 1: in I don't know if this is weird, but I

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Speaker 1: think loves in different films, like I'm so in love

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Speaker 1: with my dog, I'm so in love with my friends,

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Speaker 1: I'm so in love with my house. But no, I

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Speaker 1: don't feel like even now I've had that like I

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Speaker 1: can't live without you type of love. I don't even

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Speaker 1: know if that is real. I don't know if that's

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Speaker 1: just a movie thing or if it is real life.

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Speaker 2: Because you had this lovely connection with Karlin, who was

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Speaker 2: very kind to you and really looked out for you

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Speaker 2: and played the guitar to you. Yeah, which is a

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Speaker 2: beautiful lot. And I was surprised to hear you say that.

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Speaker 2: And yet there was a drive in you to try

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Speaker 2: and find that romantic love, wasn't there?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I was like, and where did that drive come from?

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Speaker 1: I felt like because I was twenty nine and I

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Speaker 1: had never really put relationships first. I've always been career,

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Speaker 1: travel friends, family, to the point that was probably a

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Speaker 1: bit detrimental to myself more often than not. But I thought, okay, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty nine. I just left goggle Box. I lost

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Speaker 1: the love of my life, my nanny, and not long

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Speaker 1: before that my Poppy, who was also the love of

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Speaker 1: my life. And I felt all this loss and all

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Speaker 1: this change, and then even and I were like, nah,

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Speaker 1: we can't do goggle Box anymore because I wanted to

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Speaker 1: go keep traveling and find myself. And then we got

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Speaker 1: offered the Jungle I'm a celebrity, and then the Bachelorette

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Speaker 1: came after that, so it was all just like boom boom,

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Speaker 1: boom boom, and I thought to myself okay, because I'm

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Speaker 1: a bit woo woo spiritual, and I thought to myself, Okay,

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Speaker 1: my nanny and my poppy want you to find a partner.

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Speaker 1: And so so when the Bachelorette popped up after the Jungle,

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Speaker 1: where I really thought I found myself in the jungle,

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Speaker 1: I did love that experience. I was like, this is it,

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Speaker 1: this is how I find myself, my person. And I

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Speaker 1: really like pedal to the metal. Like everything I do

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Speaker 1: in my life, I gave it my all and I

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Speaker 1: really really did want to fall in love. And I

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Speaker 1: think a part of me did love my Top three,

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Speaker 1: like I was obsessed with my Top three. I still

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Speaker 1: look back and I'm like, oh my god, but yeah

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Speaker 1: I did. I do think I did love, But looking

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Speaker 1: back now, I don't feel that love. I guess that's

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Speaker 1: because that's like every relationship when you break up, right,

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh, well that's a lesson.

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Speaker 2: Why do you think you weren't in love.

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Speaker 1: With anyone or that particular person?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, like I guess. I mean, do you think

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Speaker 2: it's something inside you that you're still unlocking the keys

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Speaker 2: to yourself?

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Speaker 1: Oh? I think so?

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Speaker 2: Or is it that you believe there's still a person

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Speaker 2: that you know the Dutch of got A saying there's

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Speaker 2: no pot so crooked there isn't a lead somewhere to

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Speaker 2: fit it. And is it that you that you haven't

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Speaker 2: found that crooked lead yet?

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Speaker 1: I don't know about that, because I still to this day,

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Speaker 1: don't put a whole lot of pressure on finding the one.

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Speaker 1: I'm super content with working on me being the one.

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Speaker 1: I desperately want to be a mother without the one.

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Speaker 1: I've always thought I was going to be a mother

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Speaker 1: without the one. I don't fully think that I'm closed

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Speaker 1: off to finding somebody else one day or multiple somebody

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Speaker 1: else is depending on what chapter of my life it is.

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Speaker 1: I guess yes, but no, I'm not. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if it's just part of my little tism brain, but

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Speaker 1: I don't put a lot of pressure on relationships. I'm

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Speaker 1: like so happy single, Like it's actually sad how much

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Speaker 1: I spend time on my own. Well, other people think

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Speaker 1: it's sad. I love it. I just I don't mind

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Speaker 1: being single. And maybe after I have a baby, I

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Speaker 1: may be like, ah, oh my god, Okay, now I

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Speaker 1: want to really really date. We'll just have to wait

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Speaker 1: and see what these hormones do.

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Speaker 2: Well. I think a lot of people say the extraordinary

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Speaker 2: nature of love that you have for a baby can

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Speaker 2: often eclipse other types of love. Yes, but where are

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Speaker 2: you at with that journey? Because I was going to say,

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Speaker 2: here's another chapter in your in your reality show journey

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Speaker 2: that is really punctuated periods of your life. And we've

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Speaker 2: been able to keep abreast of the changing in you

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Speaker 2: through watching you on these shows. So Big Miracles, the

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Speaker 2: show about people conceiving trying to conceive using basically the

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Speaker 2: gift of science, Yes, the gift of IVF. So you're

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Speaker 2: now on that path, I am. I saw a clip

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Speaker 2: of the show, Yes, where are you into it? Because

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Speaker 2: I saw a clip of you on the show with

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Speaker 2: some friends choosing your sperm donor, which is, as you say,

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Speaker 2: the most momentous decision that you're making.

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Speaker 1: So I filmed that show in twenty four and I

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Speaker 1: was blessed enough to get fourteen embryos from that IVF round,

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Speaker 1: which I was totally blown away by, given the fact

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Speaker 1: that I've had three laparoscopies for my endometriosis and PCOS

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Speaker 1: and recently diagnosed with I don't know if you say

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Speaker 1: adinomiosis or adnomiosis people say it differently, and just a

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Speaker 1: bunch of other stuff going on in there. I am

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Speaker 1: now at the stage where I am back on my

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Speaker 1: magic mountain. I like to call it. It's a very

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Speaker 1: healing mountain. I don't know anybody here. I spend most

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Speaker 1: of my time moving, renovating, healing, hanging out with my dog.

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Speaker 1: And I thought, you know what, I'm so ready to

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Speaker 1: have my last laparoscopy, do a big clear out of

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Speaker 1: anything that's in the way there that's causing me any

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Speaker 1: pain or strife. And then after that it's go time.

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Speaker 1: I'm putting one of one of the fourteen embryos in

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Speaker 1: my body and pray that I hold.

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Speaker 2: Is that your plan for this year?

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Speaker 1: Yes, so I'm hoping by the end of March I

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Speaker 1: will be able to do my first embryo trans Wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't go anywhere. We'll be back with Angie after

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Speaker 2: this short break. What happened with you and Carlin?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what happened?

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Speaker 1: I thought I was going to get out of that one. Look,

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Speaker 1: I think I don't like to talk about him anymore

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Speaker 1: at all. We didn't have the best break up, and

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Speaker 1: anytime I was asked about it. I wanted to give

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Speaker 1: my truth, but then that was kind of like a

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Speaker 1: I would then get the repercussions. It's been so long

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Speaker 1: that I hold no bad blood towards him. He's married, Yes,

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Speaker 1: he has a baby, I think somebody told me. And

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Speaker 1: as long as he is happy and he's his best version,

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Speaker 1: because we weren't each other's best versions together by the end.

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Speaker 1: At first it was lovely, and then the pandemic hit

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Speaker 1: and it was just yes, it was just nasty. By

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Speaker 1: the end, it was just we just did not vibe.

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Speaker 2: Was the intensity of it too much? Too soon?

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Speaker 1: I think on that show, you're like all you ever

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Speaker 1: know is love, love, love, love, love, love love. You're

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Speaker 1: taken away from your friends, your family, you have no phone,

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Speaker 1: you've got producers around you. You're on like a movie

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Speaker 1: set of love. Like it's so wild. When I look back,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, and you just like you

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Speaker 1: then leave, And to be honest, I didn't know who

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Speaker 1: I was going to pick. I was so torn by

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Speaker 1: my top two their first time in history. They were like,

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Speaker 1: there's never been a woman that just everybody always knows

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Speaker 1: and they pretend they don't, But I did not know.

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Speaker 1: I have made my mind up on that day, and

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Speaker 1: I thought Carlum was the safest choice of I'm to

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Speaker 1: be honest, he seemed really safe. He'd been married before.

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Speaker 1: He was like super like chill compared to the other dudes. Right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but he just we gave it a year and then

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Speaker 1: the pandemic hit. It was just too much time together

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Speaker 1: and he and I just weren't compatible. Let's just say

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Speaker 1: it like that, right.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting because what you were saying about, I mean,

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Speaker 2: I think there's often this disconnect when people leave a

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Speaker 2: reality series, but particularly like The Bachelor's because you've literally

361
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 2: had whistereia wrapped around every every pillar of every building

362
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Speaker 2: that you go near, and then you step into the

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Speaker 2: real world where MUD's splattering out of the gutter. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's a real shot.

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Speaker 1: It's like a drop, It's like and no one's.

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Speaker 2: Laying out Yeah, no one's laying out a cheese platter

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Speaker 2: for you with a buy a fire piece, with a

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Speaker 2: cozy bland, and.

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Speaker 1: No one's making you look like a Barbie doll every

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Speaker 1: single day of your life. For eight weeks, you have

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Speaker 1: full glam. All you care about is finding love and

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Speaker 1: looking the right way and thinking that someone here is

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Speaker 1: your one when really you don't know them. They're just

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Speaker 1: telling you what you what they want you to know.

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Speaker 1: And then it's the whirlwind of the press and everybody going,

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Speaker 1: oh why didn't you pick this one? And oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it was such it's such a full on show, like

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Speaker 1: no one prepares you for it. It's pretty fucked up,

379
00:23:51,919 --> 00:23:52,959
Speaker 1: to put it lightly.

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Speaker 2: Well, when you go into it, is there an undertaking?

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Speaker 2: Is there an undertaking or an understanding that of the

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00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 2: mean that they have put in the hands that they

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00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,959
Speaker 2: do believe. Obviously they put some in because it's showbies

384
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,879
Speaker 2: and you need some friction, you need a bit of

385
00:24:10,919 --> 00:24:13,199
Speaker 2: sand in the oyster so it can make a purpose. Yes,

386
00:24:13,879 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 2: But is the understanding that they have put in some

387
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,159
Speaker 2: men who genuinely they believe are a match for you.

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Speaker 1: That's what they tell you, But I don't. Yeah, I

389
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 1: think so, because back then it wasn't as toxic as

390
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: it is now. It was still very much like we

391
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 1: want the franchise to keep going because we have success

392
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:38,279
Speaker 1: stories like Tim and Anna and Sam and schez Oh

393
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 1: I don't know how to say her name, probably yeah, yeah,

394
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 1: and a bunch of others Maddie and Laura for example,

395
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Speaker 1: Like there's so many amazing success stories.

396
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,360
Speaker 2: Yes, you actually think.

397
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,999
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I could be Maddie and Laura, or

398
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 1: I could be whoever is a bunch of them are

399
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 1: still together? Jimmy, Yeah, like you do you well, that

400
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 1: was after me, but you do hold that home. So

401
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: I do believe back then, Yes, and they make you

402
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 1: feel like they've picked the best people in the world

403
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 1: for you, And of course I believe them. But no,

404
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: I do think they do put a few in there.

405
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 1: There were some goodies, but you look back and it

406
00:25:14,639 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 1: wouldn't be people I date now, but in my twenties

407
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 1: they were great for my twenties for sure.

408
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 2: Who would you date now?

409
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,719
Speaker 1: From where the show.

410
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 2: Anyway? Like, what's what's the type? What do you look for?

411
00:25:30,679 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 1: Oh? Ultimately somebody now that I'm in my mid thirties,

412
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 1: someone I feel really safe with, Somebody that makes me

413
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 1: feel really brave though as well, that makes me feel

414
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Speaker 1: that amongst my madness and chaos and exploration and sharing,

415
00:25:54,919 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 1: like I'm safe, but they're proud of me, and I

416
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 1: don't care about the parts. Like I said, I'm happy

417
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 1: to be with a man woman Norminery treansgender like, I

418
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 1: just love connection. I love laughing, I love being silly,

419
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:15,400
Speaker 1: I love feeling just I think it's safe because when

420
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 1: you're safe, you can be your craziest, silliest, wildest self,

421
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:22,719
Speaker 1: right like you can be older things. So yeah, But

422
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: in terms of looks, I'm I think it's just like,

423
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. I like I like more feminine men,

424
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,999
Speaker 1: like young that young blood kind of I like, you know,

425
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 1: does he like girls? Does he like boys? I love that?

426
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,279
Speaker 1: But I'm open to whatever.

427
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 2: You have always had this very strong, nurturing, caring side

428
00:26:44,639 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 2: to you. At what point did you go, I'm going

429
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 2: to do this on my own.

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Speaker 1: Interestingly enough, a lot of people don't believe me when

431
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Speaker 1: I say this, but my close friends and family, no,

432
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 1: or people who I've met back in the day, I've

433
00:27:03,679 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 1: always known it was opened to the chance to maybe

434
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: have a baby with somebody else. Obviously, otherwise I wouldn't

435
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:19,719
Speaker 1: have done the bachelorette or potentially dated some other people.

436
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: But deep down in my whole being, I knew that

437
00:27:24,639 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: I was going to have my first baby on my own.

438
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: I've always I've always thought it, and I've never met

439
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 1: anyone that I want to have a baby with since

440
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 1: that knowing, so I just thought, well, you ain't getting

441
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,959
Speaker 1: any younger. I'm thirty six next month, and I really

442
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 1: just thought it, now's the time, Like I'm not waiting

443
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 1: for anyone. I'm waiting for me to be the best

444
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: version of me. But that could take forever. Every year

445
00:27:51,639 --> 00:27:55,159
Speaker 1: I'm learning and becoming better on someone's worse and better

446
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,399
Speaker 1: and sometimes worse. So I'm like, I'm just going.

447
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 2: To do it. I guess it's an eye a deep

448
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 2: irony that any any woman can go out get pregnant,

449
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 2: have a child. That's no questions asked, right, Yeah, yeah,

450
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,919
Speaker 2: but when you have to explore Yeah, when you have

451
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 2: to explore one of these other fertility options, you know,

452
00:28:15,919 --> 00:28:19,759
Speaker 2: fostering or adoption or IVA or whatever, you have to

453
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,119
Speaker 2: answer a lot of questions.

454
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 1: Yeah you do, you have to ask you You.

455
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,199
Speaker 2: Like you're really thoroughly interrogated.

456
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: Yeah. I've noticed since sharing there's a lot of support

457
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 1: for the single mother single mothers by a choice, Like

458
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,519
Speaker 1: there's such a huge community, but there's no real platform

459
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 1: for them. So I thought, this year, I'm going to

460
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: go pedal to the metal and share everything that pops up.

461
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,959
Speaker 1: The good, the bad, the ugly, just to create conversation,

462
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: just so we're talking about that. It's an option. I

463
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: think a lot of people think after thirty, if you're

464
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: not dating or you're not with somebody as a woman,

465
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 1: you're a leg nobody wants you, or you must be

466
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: really difficult, or she must be too career orientated, or

467
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,279
Speaker 1: she's a mole, or she's too picky or whatever it is.

468
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: It's like, no, some of us just don't want to date,

469
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,040
Speaker 1: especially like Lucky. I'm queer, so I can date everybody

470
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,959
Speaker 1: because I'm a greedy bitch. But like the bar for

471
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: men is in hell for people my age, probably people

472
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: all ages. So I'm like, you don't have to settle,

473
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 1: and you also don't have to take on this judgment

474
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: that you want to baby on your own because a

475
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:31,479
Speaker 1: man doesn't want you, because number one, who cares if

476
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 1: a man doesn't want you? But number two, that's actually

477
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 1: not the case. I could go down to any old

478
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 1: pub and, like you said, baga dude and have sex

479
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 1: with him, and I'm sure everybody would be like, oh,

480
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: well that's okay, you feel pregnant. At least you still

481
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: had sex and someone picked you. It's like no, I'm

482
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: picking me, I'm picking my donor, I'm picking when I

483
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 1: want to do it, and I'm going to break some

484
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: generational cycles while I'm at it. So it is very interesting,

485
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: though it does come with a louder judgment.

486
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 2: A lot of the criticisms that you were referring to

487
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 2: then feel to me to be very I would almost

488
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 2: think that they don't exist anymore, that that kind of

489
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:14,719
Speaker 2: thinking doesn't exist anymore. Because we have so many single parents,

490
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 2: so many single mothers, so many women are struggling with

491
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 2: fertility issues or couples or whatever whatever incarnation that is.

492
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 2: There's still this pushback. Have you found this pushback?

493
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:34,479
Speaker 1: I have a bit. The majority has been amazing, but

494
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 1: there are still people out there that are like, I

495
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,479
Speaker 1: don't understand why you would want to bring a baby

496
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 1: into the world without a father. Well, number one, I

497
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: may not have picked assist heat men, so I the

498
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 1: baby wouldn't have another mother or whatever the person identifies as.

499
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 1: So I feel like there would have always been something,

500
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 1: But the fact I'm doing it on my own is

501
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: another whole layer of almost like I don't know if

502
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 1: it's fear based from a generation where they thought they

503
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 1: could never have a kid without a man because number one,

504
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,039
Speaker 1: who would support them the judgment that comes with it,

505
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:16,759
Speaker 1: Like you're I don't know, like back then when we

506
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 1: held so much pressure on what men thought of us,

507
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,959
Speaker 1: whereas now I think it's kind of doing a bit

508
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 1: of a turn and a lot of us don't care.

509
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 1: But there's still that internalized misogyny and misogynistic people that

510
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 1: kind of show up in my page and yeah kind

511
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: of are like, well, you're selfish because your kid won't

512
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: have a dad, And I'm like, well, my kid will

513
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 1: have so many amazing masculine and feminine energies. I have

514
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 1: a lot of masculine energy in myself and a lot

515
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: of my friends have feminine energy that are men. So

516
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,999
Speaker 1: it'll be this beautiful balance of like a family that

517
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: I've cultivated for my baby, not just like some deadbeat

518
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: person that I thought was the right person. And then

519
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,719
Speaker 1: I have to share the love of my life with

520
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 1: like I don't know, I reckon I'd end up in

521
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 1: jail if that was the case. I don't want to

522
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: share my baby with some random I thought I loved

523
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: it that they turned out to be an asshole.

524
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 2: It's interesting a that you think that this imaginary person

525
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 2: that you might have ended up with would have been

526
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 2: an asshole.

527
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: I know, isn't that it's so terrible?

528
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 2: But yeah, isn't it telling? So it wouldn't have been

529
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 2: It wouldn't have been a happy ever after. It would

530
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 2: have been some dead beat by hook or by crook.

531
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 2: As you were saying, you thought you were going to

532
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 2: be a single mom.

533
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,759
Speaker 1: I just think that I just, you know what, the

534
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 1: best way to say it is, it's just annoying. It's

535
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 1: like when people don't want to have kids and they

536
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 1: just know, and people kind of question them and make

537
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 1: them feel shit that they don't want to be a mum,

538
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 1: but they just know they didn't want to, so it's like, great,

539
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:53,239
Speaker 1: that's your choice. I just knew for my first child,

540
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: I am opened down the truck with the universe has

541
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: in store. Maybe I will have another baby with someone

542
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: else or on my own and allow a partner to

543
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: come in, but I just know, for my first child,

544
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 1: I don't want to potentially have to share that part

545
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 1: of my life. I want to be able to give

546
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: this baby everything and not be torn or have somebody

547
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: that comes in and doesn't, I don't know, not agree

548
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:26,039
Speaker 1: with me. I'm open to different people's opinions, but like

549
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: just sharing that or it turning bad. I think because

550
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 1: I've had at I haven't seen many great couples growing up.

551
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:38,239
Speaker 1: I didn't see it even in my own home. No,

552
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 1: I hate saying that because I love my parents so much,

553
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 1: but it wasn't always healthy.

554
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 2: What about your your nanny and pop? How are you

555
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 2: nanny and pop together? Because they were so such a

556
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 2: big part of your.

557
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 1: Huge I was brought up a lot by my grandparents.

558
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 1: With my brother being so sick, my parents were away

559
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 1: a lot that that was too separate. So my poppy died,

560
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 1: oh my dad side, and then my ninety died, which

561
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 1: was her mum. So that wasn't the couple. But their

562
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:16,399
Speaker 1: marriage was right, Yes, so both their marriages were had

563
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 1: their ups and downs. For sure. I didn't ever really

564
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: see or know all a healthy relationship, and I didn't

565
00:34:25,279 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: I saw the outcome of that for my dad especially,

566
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 1: and then for me too. What happened to him was

567
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 1: projected onto me a lot. We're in a great place now,

568
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,720
Speaker 1: but I would never want my kid to go through

569
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,999
Speaker 1: what I went through. Without saying too much, and I'm

570
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:47,399
Speaker 1: will damn sure make sure they don't. So yeah, I

571
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 1: just wanted to do that on my own, and if

572
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: anyone's going to fuck up my kid, it could be me.

573
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 2: Right. Well, it's interesting that you say that because because

574
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 2: you just don't know. I mean, the thing is, when

575
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 2: you bring a child into the world, you don't have

576
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 2: control anymore, you know. I say that as someone who

577
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 2: whose son had leukemia when he was six, right, my

578
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 2: eldest son who's now twenty two, Praise be. But what

579
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:22,839
Speaker 2: I'm saying is you can't you can't anticipate, and you

580
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,319
Speaker 2: can't legislate against the world. So you might set off

581
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 2: with the best intentions of like you said, I'm going

582
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:35,879
Speaker 2: to do this, you know, without having to compromise the

583
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 2: way that I want to love this child. But you

584
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 2: don't know what the world is going to throw up

585
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 2: to you.

586
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,999
Speaker 1: No, not at all. I have no idea what could come,

587
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 1: and what I know from life is that it certainly

588
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 1: throws a lot of spanners in the works. All the time.

589
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: Life has been no easy ride. But I definitely know

590
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 1: that I'm going to do the best I can to

591
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 1: make sure my child is in a situation where they

592
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 1: feel unconditional love and always know that I am on

593
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 1: their team and will always listen and love them no

594
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 1: matter what, and that's the best I can do. And

595
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:19,319
Speaker 1: anything else that shows up for us, I'll deal with

596
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: it with my family and friends and my chosen, chosen

597
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: family for the baby, my hopeful baby. I don't know

598
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 1: if I can fall pregnant yet, but I pray that

599
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 1: I can.

600
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:33,240
Speaker 2: It seems like you've been so intentional about this choice.

601
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,879
Speaker 2: Was it a do you feel like you've been on

602
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:41,479
Speaker 2: this path and one step has led to the other.

603
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 2: Did you always have a knowingness that this was what

604
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 2: you were going to do, or was there a moment

605
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 2: where you thought, I'm going to start this process.

606
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 1: There was always a knowingness that I wanted to have

607
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,999
Speaker 1: a baby, like I've always wanted to be a mum.

608
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: I have been, and I was a nanny or through

609
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 1: my from eighteen to twenty eight and looks after my

610
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,399
Speaker 1: beautiful housemate Tom, like rescue dogs. Like I always knew

611
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 1: I was going to be a mum. I didn't know

612
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 1: how that looked. I was always open to adoption, fostering,

613
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 1: having my own baby, and then obviously when big miracles

614
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:18,399
Speaker 1: popped up for me and my manager said you know,

615
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,720
Speaker 1: you've always talked about freezing your eggs with your women's

616
00:37:21,759 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 1: health practitioner Big Miracles has just asked if you want

617
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: to share it, And I was like, well, I've shared

618
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 1: every bloody thing else, dating dudes, eaten crap in the jungle,

619
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:34,359
Speaker 1: watching TV, so why not? Like why not? And I

620
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: just thought that was a sign from the universe, just

621
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 1: like I do with most things. And I did it,

622
00:37:38,799 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 1: and it just turned out to be the best thing,

623
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: probably one of the best things I've ever done.

624
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,839
Speaker 2: Ah, why do you say that because you had the

625
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: outcome that because of the.

626
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 1: Yeah that I think obviously the outcome after so many

627
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 1: years of hearing you know, you've got endometrios, so you

628
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 1: might not be able to feel pregnant, or you've got

629
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:06,359
Speaker 1: this and this will make this harder. And then being

630
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: the age I was, I may not get that many eggs.

631
00:38:09,759 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 1: So the fact that I did get my result, but

632
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 1: not just that, the fact that I could stand up

633
00:38:15,279 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 1: there as a single woman, as a single mother by choice,

634
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 1: with all my chronic and visible illnesses, and share the

635
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 1: platform for other women who might want to do the

636
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 1: same thing. That to me is like, if I can

637
00:38:26,279 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 1: just help one other person, like, I'm so stoked.

638
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 2: With that if you had to give a reason. Do

639
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 2: they ask on the show why you want to have

640
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:37,760
Speaker 2: a baby?

641
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

642
00:38:39,799 --> 00:38:42,799
Speaker 2: It's a funny thing, isn't it, because often it's we

643
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 2: know that people want to have a baby or they

644
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,959
Speaker 2: don't want to have a baby. But it's a rare

645
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 2: thing to answer that question why you want to have

646
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 2: a baby?

647
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 1: Yeah? It is, actually because a lot of people probably

648
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: would like throw them a bit, right, they'd be like, oh,

649
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 1: because a lot of the time people probably think that

650
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 1: they were told that they have to have a baby,

651
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 1: so that's all they know is to be a mum.

652
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 1: Where is right?

653
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, where is? And maybe it's seen as a

654
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 2: rite of passage. And obviously we have a biological imperative

655
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 2: to have children or it would be the end of us. Yeah,

656
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,800
Speaker 2: so there is that as well. It can be innate

657
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 2: in a person and mostly ease. Yeah, but when you're

658
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 2: consciously choosing it, what is the answer to that?

659
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,800
Speaker 1: The answer is I want to have a baby because

660
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:39,839
Speaker 1: I feel like I have so much that I can

661
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: give to a baby. I think a lot of time

662
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,399
Speaker 1: when people do IVF, especially single mothers. One woman said

663
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 1: to me it's so selfish. All you talk about is

664
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 1: how much you want to have a baby, And I'm like, well,

665
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:56,359
Speaker 1: that's how it starts, is that you make that decision, right.

666
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: I'm sure if I had a partner, you wouldn't be

667
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: saying that. But I feel like that knowing in itself,

668
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: the love I have in my heart, my whole body.

669
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 1: When I just leave and look and look at that

670
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 1: little rat in the back there, my dog, I just

671
00:40:10,759 --> 00:40:13,800
Speaker 1: know that feeling of love, and I know that feeling

672
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 1: of love that I had for tom, my housemate, who

673
00:40:16,799 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 1: was my best friend. Like that feeling to me is

674
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 1: just like so consuming, And I want a relationship like

675
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 1: my mum and I have, and I want to be

676
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: able to share a life with a baby like that

677
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 1: to me is going to be the love of my life,

678
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,800
Speaker 1: not some partner, Like I don't know, it's just a knowing.

679
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 1: That's that's I just know that's what I want to

680
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 1: want to experience.

681
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 2: And then when you go embark on a journey, this

682
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:51,879
Speaker 2: is a proper journey like this, Yeah, how have you

683
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 2: found you in your immediate circle? Obviously you have a

684
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 2: lot of really tight and supportive friends. Was there any

685
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:05,919
Speaker 2: resistance from within those from those that loved you.

686
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,799
Speaker 1: Not my friends. My friends have always known me to

687
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 1: kind of walk to the beat of my own drum

688
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 1: and they never know what I'm doing. They was like, oh, okay,

689
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 1: oh you're going there. Okay, cool, she's doing that. But

690
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 1: I think my dad wasn't like that sure about it.

691
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,279
Speaker 1: He was a little bit like he doesn't get it.

692
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 1: He does now, he fully gets it. He's been very,

693
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:32,879
Speaker 1: very unwealthy years now and we take every day as

694
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 1: it comes with him and he would just love to

695
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: be a granddad. But he didn't understand the whole like

696
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: why would I put myself through all of that? And

697
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 1: why would I, you know, do that? And he doesn't

698
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 1: have to understand it at the end of the day,

699
00:41:47,279 --> 00:41:47,919
Speaker 1: he'll never know.

700
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 2: The public when he putting himself through all of that.

701
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 2: Is that like the public pushback that he's thinking of

702
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:58,359
Speaker 2: for the public scrutiny or does he mean raising a

703
00:41:58,520 --> 00:41:59,439
Speaker 2: child on your own?

704
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:04,879
Speaker 1: He means the whole, the whole IVYF thing. I think

705
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,319
Speaker 1: he meant like putting my body through doing it on

706
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 1: my own. Yeah, the injections, the surgery is he already

707
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,800
Speaker 1: knows how much pin I've been in with my chronic

708
00:42:13,799 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: and visible illnesses and all that. He doesn't understand the

709
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: pain or know much about it. But yeah, he kind

710
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 1: of says, you know, kids are tough. Doing it on

711
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 1: your own is tough. But we're also completely different people.

712
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 1: So I what he normally says, I did the opposite anyway,

713
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:35,239
Speaker 1: So no other than him, no one's really questioned it.

714
00:42:35,279 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: They're just like, go off, they go off six.

715
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,279
Speaker 2: We'll be back with Angie in just a moment. You're

716
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:53,479
Speaker 2: listening to No Filter. You said a really beautiful thing

717
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,359
Speaker 2: when you were discussing this. You said, I am the

718
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 2: right person, and it was just so simple and powerful.

719
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 2: What like, what do you think it took you to

720
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 2: truly believe that or was it something that you've always known.

721
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:19,320
Speaker 1: I think something in me always knows that whatever I'm doing,

722
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 1: I'm doing from my level of consciousness. It's never malicious,

723
00:43:22,799 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 1: it's never deliberate if it's bad. I think that I

724
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 1: definitely waited because I didn't want to just settle with

725
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: somebody in my twenties or not do everything I wanted

726
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 1: to do. I don't know what that is selfish. I

727
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 1: wanted to travel the world, I wanted to study, I

728
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 1: wanted to work in behind the scenes in television I

729
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,359
Speaker 1: wanted to do, and then this other stuff kind of

730
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,800
Speaker 1: just happened for me. So I wrote it the wave

731
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 1: or whatever you want to call it. But ultimately I

732
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:57,279
Speaker 1: wanted to wait till I knew, yeah, who I was,

733
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,879
Speaker 1: and get a lot of therapy and you know, work

734
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 1: on myself. I've done a lot of woo woo healing

735
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 1: stuff here on the mountain. I'd love all that, you know,

736
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 1: shaken that shit out, somatic healing from all the pain

737
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,760
Speaker 1: and trauma women's store in our wombs. Like I wanted

738
00:44:12,799 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 1: to do all of that. I'm not saying I'm gonna

739
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,719
Speaker 1: be perfect. I'm sure that I'll do stuff and my

740
00:44:17,799 --> 00:44:19,920
Speaker 1: kid will be like that was cooked, and I'll be

741
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 1: the first to go okay instead of going and being

742
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,399
Speaker 1: the victim, I'll be like, okay, oh my god, how

743
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: can I be better? Like let's fix this, Let's break

744
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,760
Speaker 1: this cycle of like generational trauma, like we all store

745
00:44:30,799 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 1: it from great great grandmother's everything I've learned, so I just, yeah,

746
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 1: I thought, you know what, I've done a lot of work.

747
00:44:37,279 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 1: I could keep doing work forever, and I still will.

748
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to keep waiting to be the

749
00:44:42,279 --> 00:44:44,439
Speaker 1: best version of me because I don't know what she

750
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,879
Speaker 1: looks like. And I'm still going to stuff up, but

751
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm going to keep trying my very best

752
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:50,360
Speaker 1: for sure.

753
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 2: You know, because you talked earlier about your isolated life.

754
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 1: Yes, what does.

755
00:44:57,080 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 2: Your daily life on a mountain in Queensland look like?

756
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 2: See in you? Yeah, you wake up in the are

757
00:45:08,799 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 2: you near a village or a town or like what

758
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:14,320
Speaker 2: happens on the daily?

759
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,759
Speaker 1: It's not like I think I'm making it out, just

760
00:45:18,799 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 1: sound like. It's very like remote. So it's Tambourine Mountain,

761
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: which is Gold Coast hinter Lands. I don't mind sharing

762
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 1: that because it's already for It's a beautiful place. It's

763
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 1: just such a beautiful It's just different from when I'm

764
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 1: in Sydney and it's like go go, go go go,

765
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 1: or Melbourne, which I love both cities. But when I'm here,

766
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,839
Speaker 1: I get to just be like a full grub Like

767
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 1: I don't shower sometimes the days I just am upstairs

768
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 1: scrub it and clean it. I'm organizing tradesmen to come out.

769
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: I'm you know, just walking the beautiful gallery walk and

770
00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 1: going to the markets. Everybody's really down to earth but

771
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 1: also very it's very kind of like country style, you know,

772
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 1: pay cash at hand. I'll turn up if I want.

773
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 1: Like it's real old school, and I'm on town. I'm

774
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 1: not on town water, I'm on water tank. So it's

775
00:46:10,759 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 1: just like all this learning I never knew and I

776
00:46:14,279 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 1: just love it. So I'm not here a lot, but

777
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,839
Speaker 1: i am based here now. I'm not renting it out

778
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 1: anymore and I'm fixing the old gal up and I

779
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: I just love it. It keeps me busy while I'm

780
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:29,320
Speaker 1: not on set or running around like a headless triock.

781
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 2: Well that's interesting because professionally, I mean what you're talking about,

782
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 2: I mean your ongoing health situations, because there's quite a

783
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 2: few of them require a lot of money. A baby

784
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 2: requires a lot of money. Luckily the TV show covered

785
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 2: the I'm imagining the embryos and that part of the process.

786
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:54,400
Speaker 2: But that's a lot of money that you need to

787
00:46:54,440 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 2: make professionally. How do you identify what you are and

788
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 2: what work you do?

789
00:47:03,759 --> 00:47:10,600
Speaker 1: Oh? At the moment, nothing, I mean I work. The

790
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,280
Speaker 1: last four years I've done. I was a co host

791
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,879
Speaker 1: on Space events, so I guess I would say I

792
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: was a TV host for the last four years, co

793
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 1: host right that. Obviously, back in the day when I

794
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 1: was being thrown all these big shows like The Jungle

795
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: and Bachelorette and Dancing with the Stars, that's when TV

796
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:30,799
Speaker 1: had a lot of money. Now TV doesn't have a

797
00:47:30,799 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 1: lot of money. So I think a lot of people

798
00:47:32,759 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 1: assume I'm rich. Yes I am not exactly I'm not

799
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 1: rich at all.

800
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 2: Exactly why I'm asking why?

801
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 1: What?

802
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:45,839
Speaker 2: Like, how do you like literally how do you make

803
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 2: your living?

804
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:46,759
Speaker 1: Like?

805
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 2: What's the main I know that you're very active and

806
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 2: a actually great advocate in the space for women's health,

807
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:57,879
Speaker 2: but that also doesn't really is not known to be

808
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 2: highly profitable, you know what I mean.

809
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,440
Speaker 1: It's really not. I think in a way, I know

810
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,400
Speaker 1: that I'm very, very blessed that I had those opportunities

811
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: of doing all those shows pre pandemic where money was

812
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 1: still thrown at television, and I was really smart with

813
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 1: my money. And I've also been really blessed enough to

814
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,959
Speaker 1: keep working in the industry. On Space Invaders, I've done

815
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,360
Speaker 1: a bunch of podcasts. I do a bit of social media.

816
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 1: I'm not a big social media girly, although I'm really

817
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 1: trying this year because I just think it's a great

818
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 1: way for a single mom to make money, but also

819
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 1: to share this platform. I'm pretty scrappy. I'll do anything.

820
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 1: Twenty bucks is twenty bucks, especially for my unborn child,

821
00:48:39,759 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 1: so I'll I'll see what this year holds. But yeah,

822
00:48:43,759 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 1: you're right, it's so expensive. I bought this house before

823
00:48:47,279 --> 00:48:50,720
Speaker 1: everything went nuts, so I'll probably have to sell this house,

824
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 1: buy something smaller and live closer to my family, so

825
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,760
Speaker 1: I have the support. But yeah, I'm not rolling in money.

826
00:48:56,759 --> 00:49:00,040
Speaker 1: I have to plan these things now because having chronic

827
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 1: and visible illnesses is so expensive, Owning a home as expensive,

828
00:49:03,759 --> 00:49:06,359
Speaker 1: and having a baby on your own is so expensive.

829
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:12,719
Speaker 1: So I'm seeing life is experience. Life is so expensive.

830
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:18,439
Speaker 1: It's crazy. Yeah, but yeah, I'm putting trust in opportunities

831
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:18,919
Speaker 1: coming up.

832
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 2: And yeah, if someone is listening to these, yes, and

833
00:49:24,279 --> 00:49:28,800
Speaker 2: they are also considering trading a different path, but maybe

834
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 2: they don't have the courage to say it out loud,

835
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,919
Speaker 2: what would you say to them, poor, Oh.

836
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:41,319
Speaker 1: Gosh, so many things. Firstly, it would be that you're

837
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 1: not alone. Even though you're choosing a single mother by choice,

838
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 1: you're certainly not alone. There are so many amazing women

839
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 1: or parents out there that are single parents, but by choice.

840
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 1: There are so many amazing single mothers out there. You're

841
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: going to get a lot of projection. A lot, and

842
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 1: like I've said before, opinions are like assholes. Everybody's go on.

843
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 1: So you've got to take on what benefits you. I

844
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 1: guess you can't be taking on the projection of society,

845
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 1: especially a very patriarchal world we live in. You've got

846
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: to do what feels right for you. And if you

847
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: feel like you want a baby, and that's just a

848
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: knowing in your body, why shouldn't you give yourself that chance.

849
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 1: I think it's one of those things you'd probably regret

850
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:33,799
Speaker 1: it more of you don't at least try than not right.

851
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 1: And I know that comes from a place of privilege.

852
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 1: I know it costs so much money, but you can start,

853
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:42,839
Speaker 1: you know, putting like my women's health practicing to me

854
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 1: years ago instead of back in the day when I

855
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 1: used to smash back about bottle of savvy, be because

856
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: I was in pain, or you know, go get your

857
00:50:50,759 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 1: nails done. You have to. Unfortunately for women, we have

858
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 1: to put money away earlier because we're not fully supported

859
00:50:57,200 --> 00:51:00,359
Speaker 1: in the health department. So you've got to kind of

860
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:04,239
Speaker 1: start advocating for yourself and saving until changes happened, and

861
00:51:04,279 --> 00:51:07,359
Speaker 1: I pray that they do, and until then, I'll keep

862
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 1: advocating for y'all. You've got me on your team.

863
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:16,479
Speaker 2: What do you want, Angie Kent to look like at

864
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,360
Speaker 2: the end of this year. We're at the very start

865
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:22,880
Speaker 2: of it. If you have with your powers of woo

866
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 2: woo an image, what is that vision?

867
00:51:27,279 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 1: Ah? That vision would be to be pregnant. If I

868
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:40,240
Speaker 1: fall straight away, I will have hopefully a Christmas baby

869
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 1: or a Capricorn. I've got enough of lows in my life,

870
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 1: but I would pray that I am pregnant. I could

871
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:52,879
Speaker 1: if that's what I could picture. I would still be

872
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:54,839
Speaker 1: loved to be able to have my house, but I

873
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:58,839
Speaker 1: feel that it won't be that unless I win the

874
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 1: lotto or something amazing comes my way. But living close

875
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 1: to my family, being near my and dad and my

876
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,439
Speaker 1: brothers for the first time properly in years, to get

877
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:11,799
Speaker 1: second chance of having a family all together, I'm so

878
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 1: excited for that, and I'm just I hope that it happens.

879
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 2: The cycling back to your TV family, How's ev through

880
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 2: all of.

881
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 1: These Evie lives in Melbourne. She lives in the country's

882
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 1: side in Melbourne, and I'm all the way in Tambourines,

883
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 1: so we don't get to see each other that much.

884
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:35,280
Speaker 1: But she's supportive. She's on the opposite spectrum of children

885
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 1: wanting than me. She very happily has always said she

886
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:40,959
Speaker 1: doesn't want children, and.

887
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 2: She's quite clear.

888
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's always and I've always supported that for her.

889
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: I watched her with you know, Tom and Nanny and

890
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 1: herself through the years, and I could see that she

891
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 1: had that side to her. She has that caring side,

892
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:57,919
Speaker 1: but she never wanted to have kids later on, So

893
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 1: we're kind of different in that regard, but we hold

894
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:02,359
Speaker 1: space for that. And I know that as soon as

895
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 1: she sees my baby, if I am blessed enough to

896
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 1: have my baby, she'll just love it sick like she

897
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 1: does all the dogs she rescues.

898
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 2: Andie Kent, you're very fascinating person. I look forward to

899
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:19,399
Speaker 2: seeing whatever reality show you're on. There no reality show

900
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 2: keep abreast of you have no doubt said that after everyone.

901
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:26,680
Speaker 1: I have, Oh for sure I have.

902
00:53:27,279 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 2: Did you say that after every while? Yeah, well you're like,

903
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 2: I'm never doing that again?

904
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:36,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably, But then again, I'm a sicker. I love life,

905
00:53:36,799 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 1: I love stuff that if the universe throws something at me,

906
00:53:39,799 --> 00:53:41,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna do it, Like I'm never going

907
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:43,439
Speaker 1: to look back when I'm older and go, oh god,

908
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 1: I wish I was more boring.

909
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:52,439
Speaker 2: You know, you're very You seem very optimistic and energized

910
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 2: in the face of some challenges that would bring a

911
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:58,959
Speaker 2: lot of people to their knees, you know, just your

912
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:06,399
Speaker 2: physical challenges alone. Has there been a time where you

913
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:10,240
Speaker 2: have been at such a low.

914
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:15,040
Speaker 1: Eb Yes, oh my god, so much off and on,

915
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 1: especially over not last year. So much. Last year I

916
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:23,799
Speaker 1: really finally felt amazing. I think that was given my

917
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: diagnosis with ADHD and getting the right medication finally have

918
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 1: I used to have horrible lows with my PMDD to

919
00:54:33,759 --> 00:54:35,640
Speaker 1: the point that I didn't want to be here once

920
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:40,240
Speaker 1: a month. That's what pmd D does pre menstrual disparag disorder.

921
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 1: Like I just wanted most five to ten days, wanted

922
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 1: to die. So I've been so so low and in

923
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:50,000
Speaker 1: my pain and in hospital thinking what's the point, Like

924
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:53,319
Speaker 1: I pay all this money to be a woman just

925
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:58,680
Speaker 1: to suffer and never get answers. But I there's just

926
00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: something in me, I guess that always wants to show

927
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:04,519
Speaker 1: up and understand and share so other people with wom

928
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 1: rooms don't have to suffer as much as I did.

929
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know. That's why I try to share

930
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:15,239
Speaker 1: as much as I do. But yeah, and I'm freaking petrified.

931
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 1: After my laparoscopy, I heal for eight weeks and then

932
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:22,999
Speaker 1: it's my first embryo transfer. I'm petrified that I will

933
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:27,280
Speaker 1: hear what a lot of people hear. You're not pregnant,

934
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 1: You're not pregnant, you're not pregnant. And I'm just focusing

935
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 1: on trying to only see that I am pregnant. I

936
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:41,280
Speaker 1: am pregnant, I am pregnant, just to get through as well.

937
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 1: But I am still very scared.

938
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,480
Speaker 2: Of course. And also that is, like we said, that

939
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 2: is something that is totally outside of your control. So

940
00:55:54,160 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 2: there's an aspect in which, at some point many women

941
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:05,320
Speaker 2: have had to surrender that desire. And if God forbid,

942
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:10,720
Speaker 2: you had to surrender that desire, what would your life

943
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 2: look like? How would you what would you what gear

944
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 2: would you shift into?

945
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 1: Just like everybody, I guess, you have to surrender, pray

946
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:29,360
Speaker 1: that you'll be Okay, get the right support and maybe

947
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:35,360
Speaker 1: channel that love that I thought of having my own child.

948
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:41,799
Speaker 1: Maybe I could adopt or foster. I don't know what

949
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 1: that will look like for me, but I really would

950
00:56:43,799 --> 00:56:45,919
Speaker 1: love to be a parent, and I'm not closed off

951
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:49,719
Speaker 1: just from having my own. I would love to have

952
00:56:49,799 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 1: it another way. I would look, I would look at

953
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 1: that path next. But yeah, that's I really I've got

954
00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 1: my heart set on this now. And there is such

955
00:57:00,279 --> 00:57:02,840
Speaker 1: a feeling and that knowing that you just hope that

956
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 1: that's that's what's gonna happened, but you also you don't know,

957
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:12,120
Speaker 1: you really don't know. But yeah, I'll pick myself up

958
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 1: like I always do, and I'll I'll find another way.

959
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:21,400
Speaker 2: I guess either way, Angie, your arms will be full.

960
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:23,320
Speaker 2: Thank you.

961
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 1: I hope so.

962
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 2: And that's a blessing.

963
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 1: Yes, definitely, there's love to give in so many other ways,

964
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,480
Speaker 1: and I'm ready and willing to give it.

965
00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, but not to any of the mountain me.

966
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 1: Look never say never.

967
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:37,920
Speaker 2: I'm not giving it to the mountain me.

968
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 1: I'm giving it to anybody. I'm bloody boring. I thought

969
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:42,959
Speaker 1: I could at least maybe get a shag in before

970
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:46,360
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant, but I don't put in any bloody is there.

971
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 2: You know how you said that you were queer earlier,

972
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 2: and I've heard you use expression pans sexual. At what

973
00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 2: point did you make that discovery in your life.

974
00:57:57,440 --> 00:58:01,320
Speaker 1: I've always been really attracted to all different types of people,

975
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 1: but I was brought up really Catholic, and back then

976
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:06,200
Speaker 1: when I was growing up in nineties and early two thousands,

977
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 1: it was very much just like you know, you're gonna leave,

978
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:11,680
Speaker 1: you're gonna get a husband, you're gonna have babies, blah blah,

979
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 1: blah blah. I always was attracted to women or queer people,

980
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:20,760
Speaker 1: and it wasn't until after Bachelorette where I thought, God,

981
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 1: if I can't be content with like dating twenty dudes

982
00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:28,680
Speaker 1: like I got. I mean, like, I'm sure they weren't

983
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 1: all like the best dudes in the world, but still

984
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 1: I got shown twenty and I was still like wanting

985
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 1: there was something missing.

986
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:36,840
Speaker 2: It was a buffet.

987
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:41,999
Speaker 1: It was quite the buffet, to put it nicely, And

988
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 1: then I just thought, you know what, I'm just it's

989
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:47,320
Speaker 1: the pandemic too. Like I'm on an online date, I'm

990
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:50,120
Speaker 1: gonna feel into this whole pan sexual thing. Because I

991
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:54,280
Speaker 1: love hearts, not parts. I don't really care what you packing.

992
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 1: I just love like humans. And I started doing it

993
00:58:57,800 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, okay, yeah, I definitely definitely

994
00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 1: like gals and queer people as well. And I haven't

995
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 1: dated a dude in five years. I've mostly only dated

996
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:14,600
Speaker 1: women or queer people. Yeah, so I haven't been with

997
00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 1: a man in forever. So we'll see, we'll see what

998
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:19,560
Speaker 1: I'm into after. If I get to have a baby,

999
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:21,720
Speaker 1: my hormones may all change and all I'll want is

1000
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 1: penis again, and I'll be spewing about that.

1001
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 2: Well, I remember in Big Miracles, your friends gave you

1002
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 2: a penis crystal. Yes you had to strugg.

1003
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 1: Yeah I did, they go. I wonder what that is actually,

1004
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 1: I think I found it the other day amongst my crystals,

1005
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:43,080
Speaker 1: but yeah, they did. They called it the penis crystal.

1006
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 1: And let's you know what, let's see, let's hope it

1007
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 1: works with the baby. But then maybe a penis of

1008
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:51,720
Speaker 1: its own will enter my life after that, who knows.

1009
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 1: I'm open to all.

1010
00:59:56,400 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 2: What's striking about Angie is not just the decisions she's made,

1011
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:05,280
Speaker 2: but the way she speaks about them with clarity, softness,

1012
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:09,440
Speaker 2: and a deep trust in herself. There's no defensiveness, no

1013
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:13,800
Speaker 2: need to justify, just honesty about where she is and

1014
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:18,000
Speaker 2: what feels right for her life. By choosing to share

1015
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:21,439
Speaker 2: this part of her journey so openly, Angie has given

1016
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:26,480
Speaker 2: voice to something many women are quietly carrying, questions about timing,

1017
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 2: about love, about motherhood, and about whether the life you

1018
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 2: want has to follow a script written by someone else.

1019
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:39,320
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to No Filter. The executive producer

1020
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:42,520
Speaker 2: of No Filter is Nama Brown. The senior producer is

1021
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 2: Breed Player. Audio production is by Jacob Brown and video

1022
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 2: editing is by Josh Green. This episode was recorded at

1023
01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:54,919
Speaker 2: Session in Progress Studios and I am your host, Kate

1024
01:00:55,000 --> 01:01:01,440
Speaker 2: lane Brook. I'll see you next Monday. Mumma Mia acknowledges

1025
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:03,840
Speaker 2: the traditional owners of the land and waters that this

1026
01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:05,240
Speaker 2: podcast is recorded on