Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2: Mama Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters.
Speaker 2: This podcast is recorded on moving in together. Some couples
Speaker 2: do it quickly, some choose to wait a while. For
Speaker 2: Fionna and Steve, it was the former, wasting no time
Speaker 2: in creating their own special memories and routines. Plus, it
Speaker 2: really is the best way to really get to know someone.
Speaker 1: I quite liked that thing of sharing a space, sharing
Speaker 1: a home, Like when he wasn't as good places and
Speaker 1: I'd come back and he'd have all the candles lurt
Speaker 1: and some like jazz music which we used to listen
Speaker 1: to on and he'd be like reading one of our
Speaker 1: favorite books, and my dog would be cilled up next
Speaker 1: to him, and I'd like come in and we're like
Speaker 1: He's like hey, and everything smells amazing, and I'm just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is so nice.
Speaker 2: But even though you share a space, there are always
Speaker 2: places secrets can be hidden, secrets that, when found, will
Speaker 2: have you questioning whether you ever really knew that person
Speaker 2: at all.
Speaker 1: I was like, Steve, I know, and then he smiles
Speaker 1: at men, he goes you went on my iPad. I
Speaker 1: forgot to eraise them from there. Oh my god. That
Speaker 1: was his first reaction was the smile at the fact
Speaker 1: that he'd forgotten or had been caught. The smile shock
Speaker 1: me to my core.
Speaker 2: I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an X.
Speaker 2: Come with me as we dive into a collection of
Speaker 2: unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the
Speaker 2: hearts of the very people who lived them. Today, I'm
Speaker 2: introducing you to Fiona. Fiona looks at her life in
Speaker 2: two parts BA and AA Before and After Australia. She
Speaker 2: moved across the ditch from New Zealand.
Speaker 1: So I moved and with Lisa, the friend of mine,
Speaker 1: made a lot of friends. Work was going great, brought
Speaker 1: my dog over and I was like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: the only thing kind of not necessarily missing but that
Speaker 1: could be an add on was to meet a man.
Speaker 1: So I started joining the dating apps and I matched
Speaker 1: with Steve, who was a musician and my dad's a musician,
Speaker 1: so a little bit of a connection there. Six foot six,
Speaker 1: so gorgeous there as well, great looking man, and so yeah,
Speaker 1: we matched. We started talking and it turned out that
Speaker 1: he actually lived about two and a half hours away
Speaker 1: from me in Sydney, but he'd just been visiting at
Speaker 1: the time that we'd matched.
Speaker 2: They were both thirty, had a heap of shared interests,
Speaker 2: and as it turned out, very similar lifestyles.
Speaker 1: He was well traveled that he moved around a lot
Speaker 1: as a musician, and my job as a chef means
Speaker 1: I move around a lot like freelance. Kind of that
Speaker 1: I understood that lifestyle of not just always being in
Speaker 1: one place and liked that he would kind of understand
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't be around all the time either. He
Speaker 1: mentioned just about his passions for music, that he studied
Speaker 1: opera and things at school, and I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: like it's really interesting. He looks like such a big,
Speaker 1: buff guy, but he's theater trained and operatraying, and I
Speaker 1: kind of liked that difference to be evening, like he
Speaker 1: looks so tough, but you like did ballet at school.
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, you know, that like mixture for me.
Speaker 1: I was like, that's very attractive. We chatted for about
Speaker 1: two weeks and then we organized for him to come
Speaker 1: and meet me and Sydney and we'd have our first date.
Speaker 1: And our first date was actually one of the better
Speaker 1: first dates that i'd had conversation flowed, and we had
Speaker 1: a great icebreaker because where he was dressed exactly the
Speaker 1: same as the matri d e down to like same
Speaker 1: whose same pants, like same shirt, and they both didn't
Speaker 1: have hair. So that was, yeah, a great icebreaker, good conversation,
Speaker 1: like very intellectual, quite funny, had a good head on
Speaker 1: his shoulders. I mean being a bit nervous about the
Speaker 1: musician thing because it can be something that's a bit
Speaker 1: like touch and go, like where your next paycheck's going
Speaker 1: to come from. But he treated it like a business
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, well that's screaz. That why
Speaker 1: I do it here, Like I arrive on time, I
Speaker 1: make sure I never drink on the job. Like he
Speaker 1: came across very professional. That made like that seem like
Speaker 1: a not an issue anymore. We had a little smooch
Speaker 1: after the date, and then I think we went to
Speaker 1: one more pub after that and had like a closing
Speaker 1: drink and watched some live music that was going on,
Speaker 1: and then yeah, did our good night switch and he
Speaker 1: went just so you know, I don't sleep with girls
Speaker 1: on a first date. I wasn't going to sleeve on
Speaker 1: the first date. Like he was like, oh, well, a
Speaker 1: lot of girls have a problem that I won't go
Speaker 1: home with them, like I've I've run into that issue before,
Speaker 1: and I said, you don't have that issue. I wasn't
Speaker 1: inviting you home, Okay, Green Flag for a dating app
Speaker 1: made up. Fiona was keen to keep chatting and hopefully
Speaker 1: see him again if she got that often elusive text.
Speaker 2: After the first date.
Speaker 1: I heard from him straight away and he was very
Speaker 1: very chatty. We would talk on the phone a lot,
Speaker 1: said that I was exactly what he'd been looking for.
Speaker 1: And then I went away for work for four weeks
Speaker 1: so we couldn't see each other. So it was very
Speaker 1: like it went straight into being like a long distance relationship.
Speaker 1: I had done long distance relationships before, but there were
Speaker 1: things that he added and that I hadn't done before.
Speaker 1: So we would like, you can watch a movie together
Speaker 1: on your phone while on FaceTime, so you can like
Speaker 1: link your phones together and be on FaceTime and be
Speaker 1: what it at that exact same time. So when I'd
Speaker 1: finished work, we'd like share watching movies together and like
Speaker 1: chat throughout it and fall asleep. And I was like,
Speaker 1: it's quite a cute way of like if you're not
Speaker 1: going to be around each other all the time of
Speaker 1: being able to like keep it alive when you're like,
Speaker 1: we've been on one date and now we're not going
Speaker 1: to see each other for a month, so we're very
Speaker 1: keen on each other. And then I work on boats.
Speaker 1: So I got off the boat for the end of
Speaker 1: the charter and he picked me up and he had
Speaker 1: a bottle of wine in the car, and he'd packed
Speaker 1: like an overnight bag and he took me straight out
Speaker 1: for this lovely jazz night. Like we had a really
Speaker 1: nice time, and I'd just come off the boat, so
Speaker 1: I was pretty naked, but he kept his energy up
Speaker 1: and I think it kind of bought my energy up
Speaker 1: as well, and now we just had like a lovely
Speaker 1: time together. I had to go back on the boat
Speaker 1: the next day, and he was going to stay somewhere else,
Speaker 1: and he did the same thing, like we're not sitch
Speaker 1: a look, if you're going to sleep in your car,
Speaker 1: don't worry like I've got a out. You're more than
Speaker 1: welcome to krash. We've been talking for a month, You've
Speaker 1: taken me out for this amazing time. You're more than
Speaker 1: welcome to stay, and don't worry like there's going to
Speaker 1: be no pressure to do anything. He's like, okay, great.
Speaker 1: So he stayed at mine. I had to leave super
Speaker 1: early in the morning, and I was like, look, let
Speaker 1: yourself out whenever you want to go, and i'll see
Speaker 1: you when i'm back.
Speaker 2: And see him when she got back.
Speaker 1: She did, so probably six weeks in. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'll introduce you to my friends. So he came and
Speaker 1: we had like this big dinner party with mimosas, and
Speaker 1: I cooked and another friend of mine cooked and we
Speaker 1: just had really nice, wholesome time and he met everyone
Speaker 1: and he was amazing, Like I thought he was brilliant,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, like my friends can be
Speaker 1: quite full on. And I was like yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: he's handling it and he's thrown it back and I
Speaker 1: just thought, yeah, this is it. And then he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's this concert on tonight, Fred again, I've always wanted
Speaker 1: to see them. Do you want to go? So I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, we'll go to this concert. And then
Speaker 1: on the way there up at me, I left my
Speaker 1: idea at home and we got to the concert and
Speaker 1: they were like, you can't get in without ID, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh no, So we had to go
Speaker 1: back to pick it up to then come back again,
Speaker 1: and I remember feeling really nervous about how we're going
Speaker 1: to miss half this concert, and he was so calm
Speaker 1: and cool and collected. He was like, hey, it's a mistake.
Speaker 1: Things happened, don't worry, Like I'll pay for the ubers,
Speaker 1: like it's an accident. We rushed out, like we'll just
Speaker 1: go get your idea and we'll come back and we'll
Speaker 1: watch what's there. And for me that was a big
Speaker 1: thing because I'm a bit airy fairy. I like that
Speaker 1: someone's like, you know, it's all right, and I liked
Speaker 1: that it was no like anger or moodiness around it,
Speaker 1: so I was like, yeah, that's pretty good. And then
Speaker 1: after the concert he asked me if I wanted to
Speaker 1: be his girlfriend, and I was like, yes, okay, let's
Speaker 1: do it. He was a very good boyfriend. I can
Speaker 1: be quite reserved when it comes to my feelings and
Speaker 1: talking about things, and I think what I really like
Speaker 1: fell for was him gently pushing me to talk about things.
Speaker 1: So if I would get quiet because something bugged me
Speaker 1: or long days, he'd be like, you need to talk
Speaker 1: about this, like don't just block it.
Speaker 2: Up.
Speaker 1: You need to talk about these things, like you're gonna
Speaker 1: feel so much better. And he had like a lot
Speaker 1: of emotional maturity intelligence. Yeah, And I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: if that is something that I really want to get
Speaker 1: better at. And so that i'd met someone who was like,
Speaker 1: talk about this or I'd be like if he'd done
Speaker 1: something that bugged me, and I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to piss you off by telling you that you've
Speaker 1: done something that bugs me, and he'd like, you need
Speaker 1: to and then I would and he'd be calm and like, oh,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that that was a problem, Like I
Speaker 1: would just be more conscious of it next time. So
Speaker 1: for me, I was like, yeah, okay, this is pretty
Speaker 1: like this is good for what I would like for
Speaker 1: my future as someone who will encourage me to speak
Speaker 1: and to speak freely.
Speaker 2: It meant that he was a good talker too. He
Speaker 2: opened up about his past, so she got to know
Speaker 2: him on a deeper level quite quickly.
Speaker 1: He'd had six years long term relationship when they split up.
Speaker 1: They took a couple of years off and now they
Speaker 1: were friends and so I was like, okay, well that's good.
Speaker 1: That seems again emotionally mature because they were quite young
Speaker 1: at the time that they got together. So I was like,
Speaker 1: that's a good sign to me. And they're talking bad
Speaker 1: about one X, I'm like, you know, if there's one,
Speaker 1: we've all got at least one bad X. That is true.
Speaker 1: So I was like, yeah, you know, if you were
Speaker 1: talking bad about all of them, I'd have a problem.
Speaker 1: But the fact that it's a standalone then not so much.
Speaker 1: And he shared some sexual trauma that he had, which
Speaker 1: was a reason as to why he didn't want to
Speaker 1: rush into things. And I think, I mean we naturally progressed.
Speaker 1: I couldn't say exactly when it happened, but it took
Speaker 1: some time for him to get comfortable. So there was
Speaker 1: a lot of like genuinely taking it very slow with
Speaker 1: the different levels of things, to the extent of like
Speaker 1: start off with dry humping and then like a bit
Speaker 1: of a care like it was very much like back
Speaker 1: in high school, and you're like learning to walk, you're
Speaker 1: learning to walk that path. The silver lining of us
Speaker 1: not rushing into sex was the fact that we got
Speaker 1: to take it slowly, so you get to explore and
Speaker 1: know each other properly before you even do that. And
Speaker 1: also that it meant that he wasn't just looking for
Speaker 1: one thing and like playing around or faking it to
Speaker 1: get into my pants. You know, like once he was comfortable,
Speaker 1: and it still wasn't a big priority to him, so
Speaker 1: I think, I, well, I came in thinking, you know,
Speaker 1: once he's comfortable, it'll become something quite frequent, but it
Speaker 1: still wasn't very frequent, so I was like, it'll get there.
Speaker 1: He was very vocal that he was a highly sexual
Speaker 1: person and really liked it and enjoyed every aspect of it,
Speaker 1: but that it was just him getting over something, and
Speaker 1: so I was like, totally fine. So I did see
Speaker 1: it as something that would happen in the future, that
Speaker 1: it would be something regular and fun, enjoyable for both
Speaker 1: of us.
Speaker 2: And remember they leaved a couple of hours away from
Speaker 2: each other, so when they did see each other, they
Speaker 2: wanted to make the most of it.
Speaker 1: He'd come and stay with me for about four or
Speaker 1: five days while he was in Sydney, and I would
Speaker 1: go and stay with him two and a half hours
Speaker 1: away every second week for a weekend around my work,
Speaker 1: and so we kind of did long distance, but because
Speaker 1: it was such a long trip, we kind of stayed
Speaker 1: for a while, and then after I think we were
Speaker 1: six months in he was getting lots more work in
Speaker 1: Sydney and I had to move out from Lisa's house
Speaker 1: because they were selling the property. So I was looking
Speaker 1: at moving into a different part of Sydney and thought,
Speaker 1: why don't we move in together. Then at least we're
Speaker 1: having the rent and you're staying quite frequently at the moment,
Speaker 1: and he was like, absolutely, that would be great. Six
Speaker 1: months and is not a lot of time, but like,
Speaker 1: I'm very much like if it's gonna work out, it's
Speaker 1: gonna work out. If it's not, it's not like you
Speaker 1: can spend two years not living with someone moving and
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out, and some people moving straight away
Speaker 1: and it does. I think if you're compatible living together,
Speaker 1: you should probably find out sooner rather than later. He
Speaker 1: worked nights, I work days, but I could join him
Speaker 1: for his nights, you know, being a musician, and I
Speaker 1: could go and you know, watch their gize my favorite thing.
Speaker 1: I'd bring my crossword or my book and I'd be
Speaker 1: like the Muzo's girlfriend in the corner doing my crosswords,
Speaker 1: watching and just being like eh. So I absolutely loved
Speaker 1: it for that, and then he was home with the
Speaker 1: dog for the day, and there were so many amazing parts.
Speaker 2: But dear listener, when you do move in with someone,
Speaker 2: no matter how well you know them, it's inevitable you'll
Speaker 2: learn things about them you didn't know before.
Speaker 1: I got the impression from us visiting each other that
Speaker 1: he was very clean and put together and organized, and
Speaker 1: I'm very clean and put together and organized. But I
Speaker 1: didn't realize that when I was coming to visit, he
Speaker 1: was doing that because I was coming to visit and
Speaker 1: it wasn't how he lived. So then when we were
Speaker 1: actually living together, I'd get drunk because I'd be like,
Speaker 1: I've made dinner and the dishes are still here in
Speaker 1: the afternoon the next day, and if I do the dishes,
Speaker 1: You're like, no, no, no, I'm going to do them.
Speaker 1: I'm like, but they can't sit there for twelve hours.
Speaker 1: And there were things that I'd be like, I don't
Speaker 1: want a relationship, which I'd been very vocal about the
Speaker 1: whole time, I don't want to be the mother in
Speaker 1: this relationship, and tell me that he was such a
Speaker 1: big gamer, which is one of the things was that.
Speaker 1: I mean, sometimes i'd come home from work, and he
Speaker 1: has gotten out of bed and onto the computer, and
Speaker 1: I've been at work and come back and hasn't moved.
Speaker 1: And I understand everyone's got hobbies and things that they enjoy,
Speaker 1: but six hours of anything is too much. Sometimes he'd
Speaker 1: be like, you're absolutely right. I've had a shock of
Speaker 1: a day. I ended up gaming instead of working. I
Speaker 1: had so much work to do today and I did
Speaker 1: this instead. And other times he would be like, you're
Speaker 1: so controlling, Like why do you I feel like kept
Speaker 1: to control it. This is my house too, If I
Speaker 1: want to live like that, it would very It would
Speaker 1: differ depending on his mood for how he would respond.
Speaker 1: As adults, I feel like, yes, you can have some
Speaker 1: days where we've had a rough time and you've skipped
Speaker 1: the dishes, but every day is not okay, And like
Speaker 1: I make the bed every morning when I get up,
Speaker 1: but if you're getting up at ten, you've got to
Speaker 1: make the bed. I don't want to come home in
Speaker 1: the afternoon to a bed not made. And they all
Speaker 1: seemed quite trivial to me, but they are still problems,
Speaker 1: and they are problems that get worse over time, not better.
Speaker 1: If they don't like the noil doesn't get hit on
Speaker 1: the head. They started happening pretty much straight off the band.
Speaker 1: There wasn't the honeymoon period of we've just moved in together.
Speaker 1: How fun is this? I thought it just takes some
Speaker 1: time to get used to living with each other. To
Speaker 1: be honest, I think that I'd lived alone for the
Speaker 1: last few years. He lived in a flatmate situation, but
Speaker 1: not with the girlfriend for the last few years. So
Speaker 1: and that's the difference between sharing your space and sharing
Speaker 1: your bed and sharing your bathroom. Like that's change. And
Speaker 1: I think it's an adjustment period for anyone, you know.
Speaker 1: So I just thought it's going to take some adjusting.
Speaker 1: Actually found that I quite liked coming home to someone
Speaker 1: like I quite liked that thing of sharing a space,
Speaker 1: sharing a home, like when he was in as good
Speaker 1: places and I'd come back and he'd have all the
Speaker 1: candles lit and some like jazz music which we used
Speaker 1: to listen to on and he'd be like reading one
Speaker 1: of our favorite books, and my dog would be killed
Speaker 1: up next to him, and I'd like come in and
Speaker 1: we're like he's like hey, and everything smells amazing, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like, yeah, this is so nice. I mean,
Speaker 1: take that away, just coming home to a tidy house
Speaker 1: and someone who's happy to see you. It's like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's just simple things. So I definitely loved that side
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 2: And at the end of the day, she really did
Speaker 2: love him.
Speaker 1: Before we'd moved in, had to have done that. I
Speaker 1: love you is. He was a very passionate person, and
Speaker 1: my love for him, like he was very open about
Speaker 1: his emotions, so my love for him felt very real
Speaker 1: because there was there was so much depth behind the
Speaker 1: reasons why I loved him. There wasn't a surface thing.
Speaker 1: There was like so many things we talked about past
Speaker 1: and future and family and his family and mine that
Speaker 1: felt very like intense, but our lives itself weren't necessarily intense.
Speaker 1: We were just going through the motions, but they love
Speaker 1: did for me for sure. He very much felt the
Speaker 1: same and called me like his dreamer and he loves
Speaker 1: it because he's always been a dreamer and has so
Speaker 1: many big plans and I'm just as much of a
Speaker 1: dreamer than him, but I've got a way to make
Speaker 1: it happen, and he loves it for me because he
Speaker 1: never knows quite how to get there, but he'll come
Speaker 1: to me with his dreams and I'll be like, yes,
Speaker 1: it sounds amazing. We could put this in place and
Speaker 1: do this then. And you know, because I'm a planner,
Speaker 1: so he was like, yay, you make my dreams feel
Speaker 1: like they could come true. We had plans to dreams
Speaker 1: of running like wedding venues. So my parents both have
Speaker 1: amazing properties, so we were like, we could do a
Speaker 1: low wedding like me as a chef, him as a musician.
Speaker 1: Me good at organizing his, like people skills. They've got vineyards,
Speaker 1: there's like the wine, Like we've got all of the
Speaker 1: things that together we could come up with this wedding
Speaker 1: idea that was definitely one of our dreams. And traveling
Speaker 1: as well. Both loved to travel.
Speaker 2: But the travel plans would have to wait because when
Speaker 2: Steve did move to Sydney, things got a bit tricky
Speaker 2: money wise.
Speaker 1: I was footing the bill for a lot, and I
Speaker 1: mean he was very much like I'm going to get there,
Speaker 1: like I've got this sorted and I'm going to get this,
Speaker 1: and very much like, yeah, of course you will. I'll
Speaker 1: put it for now and then you know, we'll just
Speaker 1: swap rolls a bit later. In your foot everything for
Speaker 1: then one of our favorite things that we like to
Speaker 1: do together, me being a chef would be like, let's
Speaker 1: go out and eat. We'd loved nice food, nice drink,
Speaker 1: and environments where there's like live music. That was like
Speaker 1: our thing that we did together. And stop contributing to
Speaker 1: things like that while not wanting to stop doing them.
Speaker 1: His reasons were that his booking agents weren't paying him,
Speaker 1: so that he had a lot of invoices owing from
Speaker 1: venues and bookers that just were overdue, and he was like,
Speaker 1: got thousand dollars owing and no one's paying me. It's
Speaker 1: so frush. I'm so I'm so sorry. I wish I
Speaker 1: could be paying for this. We should be paying for that,
Speaker 1: but no one is paying me. And I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because
Speaker 1: I need to be here to be getting the work,
Speaker 1: but if the work's not paying me, then then I'm stuck.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, that's actually a
Speaker 1: really difficult position to be in. So when he would skip,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, look, as soon as you get paid,
Speaker 1: just backlog it kind of thing. It was a stress
Speaker 1: for me, not necessarily money wise, but for the integrity
Speaker 1: around being comfortable and happy living with your girlfriend, even
Speaker 1: though it is quite new. I mean even more so
Speaker 1: that it is quite new that you are quite happy
Speaker 1: for them to shoulder an entire rent. He was going
Speaker 1: out a lot, so he'd like go to his gigs
Speaker 1: and then come back at like four in the morning
Speaker 1: and start cooking food and start doing things like that.
Speaker 1: And that started being a problem because I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: remember you're low on money. You shouldn't be going out
Speaker 1: for five hours after your work is finished and spending
Speaker 1: money like and again the mothering thing. I don't want
Speaker 1: to tell you what to do with your money, but yes,
Speaker 1: you should prioritize rent over drinking for five hours. So
Speaker 1: the little niggling things that were bugging me at the
Speaker 1: beginning started becoming worse as the time progressed, and I
Speaker 1: started questioning if it's what I wanted, like for my future.
Speaker 1: He started being really funny with his phone, which we'd
Speaker 1: always had like an open phone policy. I've got nothing
Speaker 1: to hide. You want to put some like, look at
Speaker 1: some photos, put some music on, like we knew each
Speaker 1: other's passwords. And then it started being funny, like I'd
Speaker 1: go in to change a song or something, and he'd
Speaker 1: be like, what are you doing, Like I'm entitled to
Speaker 1: my privacy. I'm like, babe, I'm just changing the song.
Speaker 1: Or we'd go for like a weekend away and I'd
Speaker 1: be like, can you send me all the pictures? He'd like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll get around to it. And I think I'll just
Speaker 1: do it, and I'm like, go in and start sending
Speaker 1: the photos. He's like, what are you looking for? I
Speaker 1: definitely thought he was hiding something. He had a very
Speaker 1: close relationship with a different ex girlfriend, and I mean,
Speaker 1: I didn't mind the friendships of the ex girlfriend, but
Speaker 1: I minded when I started like understanding that she had
Speaker 1: become his kind of like confident and out like the
Speaker 1: person he would complain to. Basically, like everyone should have
Speaker 1: a voice. If you need to complain, telling your friends
Speaker 1: is important. I don't think ex girlfriends are the appropriate
Speaker 1: people to do that with, though, but I think it
Speaker 1: makes our relationship look weak to someone used to be
Speaker 1: romantic with, and I just don't. I don't kind of agree,
Speaker 1: and his like, how am I? Like, we've been friends
Speaker 1: longer than we were dating, and like, I understand you
Speaker 1: have enough friends go and talk to another one and
Speaker 1: that just wants So I thought what was going on
Speaker 1: with the phone was that he didn't want me to
Speaker 1: see that. He was still complaining to her about it.
Speaker 1: I was just like, I have no interest in going
Speaker 1: through everything, but now that you're telling me I can't,
Speaker 1: I really want to go through everything. At no point
Speaker 1: did I think that he was cheating at all. I
Speaker 1: thought he was being disloyal to our relationship with his
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend, just with like how they were communicating. I
Speaker 1: think I arrive with trust. I mean, he was different.
Speaker 1: He said that trust needs to be built, and mine
Speaker 1: was that you arrive with trust and then it can
Speaker 1: kind of be lost. If someone doesn't give you a reason,
Speaker 1: then you should trust him. But I think also making
Speaker 1: sure you communicate hey, I'm starting not to trust you
Speaker 1: right now because of this behavior is really important.
Speaker 2: There were also issues with sex. Stavid shared that he'd
Speaker 2: had trauma around this in the past, so Fiona understood
Speaker 2: and wasn't pushy, but it also did start to play
Speaker 2: on her mind a bit.
Speaker 1: It was very complicated because I would say to look,
Speaker 1: I don't want to keep trying it on and get rejected.
Speaker 1: It'll mess with my confidence. And he said, yeah, I
Speaker 1: completely understand. So I said, so the next time this happens,
Speaker 1: I need you to be the person who instigates it.
Speaker 1: And it would take so long, but eventually'd end up
Speaker 1: instigating at some point and sometimes it would work, sometimes
Speaker 1: it wouldn't, and then I would be like, okay, well
Speaker 1: it's not working. What do you think the problem is? Like?
Speaker 1: How can we get like you happy and horny? And
Speaker 1: he said, well, I need you to instigate it and
Speaker 1: I went okay, we are going around in circles. He
Speaker 1: was like, oh, it's it's such a turn on when
Speaker 1: people instigate things. I'm like, yes, but then you reject it.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, so it would just be a catch
Speaker 1: twenty two am I going to am I going to
Speaker 1: try this on and it's going to literally flop? Or
Speaker 1: I'm going to try this on and it's going to work.
Speaker 1: So it was yeah, it was just you had to
Speaker 1: take it time by time, you know.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, they were his shoes, but they weren't enough
Speaker 2: to break them. So Fiona thought to herself she needed
Speaker 2: to stop looking for what was wrong and focus on
Speaker 2: what was right.
Speaker 1: I loved him, I trusted him, and before any of
Speaker 1: this I thought nothing was going on absolutely nothing.
Speaker 2: Wait before what?
Speaker 1: So we're ten months and now and I caught him
Speaker 1: watching a horn of his ex girlfriend in the bathroom,
Speaker 1: Not of the ex girlfriend he was friends with, but
Speaker 1: the one that he didn't like, the crazy one was awful,
Speaker 1: and I was flabb I guess it was an old
Speaker 1: video that they had from when they were together. It
Speaker 1: wasn't something new, It was obviously just something that he
Speaker 1: had stored somewhere and was using while I was asleep.
Speaker 2: Fiona had walked in on him in the bathroom in
Speaker 2: the middle of the night. She didn't say anything at
Speaker 2: the time because he hadn't seen her, and she was
Speaker 2: in such shock she just scampered back to bed. She
Speaker 2: had a huge course the next day and just couldn't
Speaker 2: deal with this right now.
Speaker 1: So I was, you know, like working for all this
Speaker 1: sex stuff and the problems with like ed because of
Speaker 1: the past words that I thought was there, and now
Speaker 1: he's like in the bathroom, able to do it alone
Speaker 1: over someone that he doesn't even like. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to let this sit until I get
Speaker 1: back from course and then talk about it with him.
Speaker 1: And then I actually ended up texting a midway through
Speaker 1: the course, because it was just like boiling up in
Speaker 1: me to say something. So I sent a message and
Speaker 1: I think something along the lines of, hey, this is
Speaker 1: what you're doing last night, I think that is so disrespectful.
Speaker 1: After the issues that we've had around sex. I would
Speaker 1: have hoped that that was not kind of what you
Speaker 1: would be resorting to do kind of thing, and that like,
Speaker 1: when I get home, we really need to talk about this.
Speaker 1: One of the things that I mentioned to him about
Speaker 1: it was that like, you're horny and you we released it,
Speaker 1: hasn't that and then going to that instead of coming
Speaker 1: to me like that makes me feel rubbish and unattractive
Speaker 1: and all of the things that you know, we should
Speaker 1: never feel as women. So I was very much like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was put down by it. Let's say it brought
Speaker 1: me down a peg. He felt really embarrassed about it
Speaker 1: and uncomfortable, and like he was like, it's the first
Speaker 1: time it happened. Like I was just drunk and reminiscing,
Speaker 1: and you know, you were asleep. The fallout from that
Speaker 1: was we had the argument. He said he felt horrible.
Speaker 1: I believed he felt horrible, and we were meant to
Speaker 1: be going away on a trip like a bit of
Speaker 1: a road trip for his for his music the next day,
Speaker 1: and so I kind of made the decision to let
Speaker 1: it go and just have our time away. The trip
Speaker 1: had been planned, we'd hide the car, the dogs that
Speaker 1: had been organized, and I thought, you know what, just
Speaker 1: let it go and have a nice weekend and let's
Speaker 1: see what's happened. Reconvene on the monday, but let's see
Speaker 1: what happens.
Speaker 2: So off they went on their trip, and immediately, if
Speaker 2: you only could see, Steve was making a real effort
Speaker 2: to try to make it up to him.
Speaker 1: He drove the whole way, which I love. There were
Speaker 1: little things that I would do for him, which would
Speaker 1: be like sneaky things, you know, like when you say
Speaker 1: you're going to the bathroom, but you sneakily pay the
Speaker 1: bill and then you come back and they're like, can
Speaker 1: we get the bill, and they're like, it's already been
Speaker 1: taken care of, you know, like there's like a power
Speaker 1: in that that I've always loved doing. Or like someone
Speaker 1: mentions that they like something in a shop and then
Speaker 1: you go back and buy it when they're not looking,
Speaker 1: and then that's a surprise to them. And that weekend
Speaker 1: he was doing so much of that, and I thought
Speaker 1: that this was obviously things that he knew that I liked,
Speaker 1: and also just I feel really bad about what happened,
Speaker 1: Like let me make it up to you. So I
Speaker 1: found an amazing piece of art that I liked in
Speaker 1: a shop there, and he did the whole like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll catch up with you, bought it and like put
Speaker 1: it in the passenger seat and was like surprise, and
Speaker 1: I was like yay, Like that's so nice. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Like little things and I was like we were in
Speaker 1: a really good place. There were times that I just
Speaker 1: caught myself crying and I couldn't tell why. I didn't
Speaker 1: know if I was still just kind of getting over
Speaker 1: or like coping with what i'd found on the have
Speaker 1: been on the Thursday with the ex girlfriend. But I
Speaker 1: just found like little pockets would I just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: and I feel a bit sad, and I was like,
Speaker 1: these tears are coming out and not much of a cry,
Speaker 1: and I was like, where are all these tears coming from?
Speaker 1: But for the most part, it was lovely. The gigs
Speaker 1: were great, all the people we met were lovely. It
Speaker 1: was great to see more of Australia at our final destination.
Speaker 1: So this is on the Sunday and we were meant
Speaker 1: to leave at five am on the Monday to get
Speaker 1: back to Sydney in time for my work. And we
Speaker 1: decided to watch parts of the Caribbean on his iPad
Speaker 1: and so we were lying in bed, had some nice food,
Speaker 1: had a bit of a cuddle, no shag, but a
Speaker 1: bit of a cuddle and still nice, spooned up and
Speaker 1: watched parts of the Caribbean, two of them, and then
Speaker 1: messages started popping up, not on his phone but on
Speaker 1: his iPad and they were from his brother. But I
Speaker 1: didn't realize that you could get messages on your iPad.
Speaker 1: He stopped the cuddling and he started like chatting with
Speaker 1: his brother a fair bit and I was like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to continue watching the movie. And then
Speaker 1: messages from Optus started popping up. It was like confirming
Speaker 1: ten am on Monday morning, and I was like, what's optis?
Speaker 1: And he goes, oh, it's that telecommunications thing. And I
Speaker 1: was like, why are they sending you messages about appointments
Speaker 1: and he went I don't know, like it's Optus And
Speaker 1: I was like that seems like a strange thing. He
Speaker 1: then went to sleep, and I went on to his
Speaker 1: iPad and looked at what Optus was, and it turned
Speaker 1: out that it was a wrothel service, and that he
Speaker 1: had been confirming a sex worker appointment for the morning.
Speaker 1: We got back the next day and I was just
Speaker 1: shell shopped. The messages dated back longer than I could
Speaker 1: read through, sometimes up to four times a week, and
Speaker 1: their appointments were two hours long. I couldn't actually understand.
Speaker 1: It didn't really quite feel real, I suppose because I'm like,
Speaker 1: this action of frequently visiting sex workers goes against everything
Speaker 1: that I've known from the moment I met this person.
Speaker 1: I was like, this feels like fake. I was reading
Speaker 1: through them, I was like, this has been going on
Speaker 1: a very long time. Like the comfortability around it of
Speaker 1: being like, Okay, well i'll have this one at when
Speaker 1: I get there at ten, and then maybe we'll swap
Speaker 1: out halfway through and I'll have this one for the
Speaker 1: last hour, and I'd be like, you know them all
Speaker 1: by name? There was like seven of them, like you
Speaker 1: know them all by name? Who you want to solf
Speaker 1: out with? Who's on for the dad? The brothel madam
Speaker 1: would addressing by name like Steve, we appreciate you so much,
Speaker 1: like thank you again for coming. I threw up. My
Speaker 1: body just was not like couldn't handle it. Like I
Speaker 1: know it was going on in my heart and my head,
Speaker 1: but my body was just in full shaking and hot
Speaker 1: flashes and you know, like sweating. I was like, this
Speaker 1: is like very real responses that were happening to something
Speaker 1: so emotional that I was like, wow, it feels like
Speaker 1: it's a full body yeah, full body experience. I was
Speaker 1: in shock, and I read through them. I realized what
Speaker 1: it was. I kind of went into I suppose organization mode.
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, well I need to get out
Speaker 1: of this relationship. I can't have them living with me anymore.
Speaker 1: We are not going to wait until five am to
Speaker 1: drive back. This is a five hours away from where
Speaker 1: we lived. So I was like, I'm going to be
Speaker 1: stuck in a car off this person for five hours.
Speaker 1: So I packed our bags up while he's asleep. I
Speaker 1: took the keys off his key change for the apartment.
Speaker 1: I think I put most of the things in the car.
Speaker 1: I took screenshots on my phone of all of the messages,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, I need to make sure
Speaker 1: I have proved so you can't deny it. So I
Speaker 1: like got it all organized and then I woke them up.
Speaker 1: I was like, you need to tell me again who
Speaker 1: is optis? And he went, I've told you and I
Speaker 1: said who was Optis? And he went on to his
Speaker 1: phone and he was He was like scrolling through the messages,
Speaker 1: where's opteras. I was like, Steve, I know, and then
Speaker 1: he smiles at me and he goes, you went on
Speaker 1: my iPad. I forgot to erase them from there. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. Yeah. That was his first reaction was the
Speaker 1: smile at the fact that he'd forgotten or he'd been caught.
Speaker 1: The smile shook me to my core. But he was like,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Do you want to talk about it?
Speaker 1: And I said, yes, I want to talk about it.
Speaker 1: He goes, okay, well, I've had an addiction to this
Speaker 1: for a very long time. I thought when we first
Speaker 1: met that you were going to be the love of
Speaker 1: my life, and I stopped my addiction for the first
Speaker 1: I think it was three months, and then when I
Speaker 1: realized that you weren't the one for me, I decided
Speaker 1: to go back to it. He told me that he'd
Speaker 1: lost the feelings for me, and just before we moved
Speaker 1: in together. So for me to hear that basically us
Speaker 1: moving in and living together was all it felt like
Speaker 1: I was being used. That it was like I was
Speaker 1: a convenient way to get to where he wanted to be,
Speaker 1: and that you know, he could skip frints sometimes and
Speaker 1: he would get free food. And I felt very much
Speaker 1: in that moment like I have just been taken for
Speaker 1: a ride. Obviously I'm in tears. Well, we're having this conversation.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, I don't understand. You're telling me that you've
Speaker 1: got this sex addiction and specific sex work addiction and
Speaker 1: porn addiction, and I'm like, but you have had a
Speaker 1: girlfriend who adores you, like worship the ground you walk on,
Speaker 1: being like, let's go in there thebe and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: rather not like I don't understand. He tried to explain
Speaker 1: it away. He wasn't very apologetic, which really shocked me
Speaker 1: because I wanted a human response and it was frustrating
Speaker 1: me that I couldn't get it. So there was a
Speaker 1: lot of I feel like, I just want you to
Speaker 1: act human. You have done something awful. I want you
Speaker 1: to cry, I want you to feel bad about what
Speaker 1: you've done, Like what you have done is always like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the most hopeful thing I've ever done to someone.
Speaker 1: To be honest, he was like, but I kind of
Speaker 1: I kin'd. I wanted to get caught because I didn't
Speaker 1: know how long I could keep doing this. I mean,
Speaker 1: that was probably the hardest part. I know, all of
Speaker 1: this is horrible, but that was one of the harder
Speaker 1: parts for me. Was because you know what, sex work
Speaker 1: is an addiction that quite a lot of guys have.
Speaker 1: So no, I wouldn't have stayed with him in any way,
Speaker 1: shape or form, but I did love him, and once
Speaker 1: I had kind of gotten through everything, if i'd seen
Speaker 1: like genuine breakdown, fears, emotions, I'm terrified I keep doing this.
Speaker 1: If it had like shown me some like I'm so vulnerable.
Speaker 1: I've been making this mistake for a very long time,
Speaker 1: throwing me honesty, throwing me that I would have been like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I will help you through this, but
Speaker 1: as a friend or in a different capacity that I'm
Speaker 1: not going to be here as your girlfriend, but you
Speaker 1: need help. I appear to be the only person in
Speaker 1: your life who knows about this and so if you
Speaker 1: want me to help your bloody help you. But the
Speaker 1: fact that it was just like, h well I've been
Speaker 1: called now, like that swap of personalities. I didn't know
Speaker 1: who I'd been living with. Well, we jumped in the car. Well,
Speaker 1: to be fair, I said we need to go, We
Speaker 1: need to go now, and he said I need more
Speaker 1: sleep before driving. And I said, well, I'm taking the car.
Speaker 1: Then he said, if you take the car, I will
Speaker 1: call the police and have you arrested for stealing the car.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm literally stuck five hours away
Speaker 1: from home. There is no public transport out here. I
Speaker 1: can't take the car because absolutely he would have called
Speaker 1: the police just to be like, I don't know, spiteful
Speaker 1: in that moment. So he slept for two hours while
Speaker 1: I sat in the bed next and I'm just I
Speaker 1: don't know, thinking, probably a bit of sobs here and there.
Speaker 1: But you could sleep. Yeah, that's another thing that's always creepy.
Speaker 1: You could sleep no conscience. The drive home was hell.
Speaker 1: Don't get being like, this is my hell loop. If
Speaker 1: I go to Hell, this is what I'm going to
Speaker 1: be reliving. They're sitting in a car do for these
Speaker 1: five hours. There are a couple of times where he
Speaker 1: was like, do you think we'd be able to work
Speaker 1: through this? And I said no. I did say, I
Speaker 1: was very vocal throughout is that cheating is my absolute
Speaker 1: no go. I don't mind if it kues or chay,
Speaker 1: it's a no go for me. So before we got
Speaker 1: home got home, I said like, I need you out today.
Speaker 1: I was like, like, my name's the only lease on
Speaker 1: the apartment. He moved in with me. He's got friends
Speaker 1: yet he doesn't have a full apartment of stuff. But
Speaker 1: I was like, look, you need to move out today.
Speaker 1: He's like, okay, it's that good. And then we walked
Speaker 1: upstairs to the apartment and I saw that he was
Speaker 1: bringing his bag in and I was like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing. You have a higher car until three it
Speaker 1: is now eight am, Like you can just put what
Speaker 1: you can fit into the high car, drop it to friends,
Speaker 1: come get the rest. Do they? And he was like okay?
Speaker 1: And then he went to use the bathroom and then
Speaker 1: just left with all of his things there and I
Speaker 1: was like, he didn't take anything with him, and I
Speaker 1: called him. I was like, look, Steve, you've got all
Speaker 1: of these things now in my apartment. You have to
Speaker 1: be out today and you can't just expect me to
Speaker 1: be able to move everything out in a day, And
Speaker 1: I said, I can. This is not an amicable breakup.
Speaker 1: We are not breaking up because it didn't work out.
Speaker 1: We didn't see eye to eye. Paths are going in
Speaker 1: separate directions. We are breaking up because you have been
Speaker 1: cheating on me consistently for the last what seven months
Speaker 1: of our relationship, and you've been paying for it, which
Speaker 1: was a massive rub with all the money issues that
Speaker 1: we had been having. I asked him one of the
Speaker 1: questions on that five hour car ride was how much
Speaker 1: did this cost? And he said one hundred and forty
Speaker 1: dollars And I said for how long? It's like for
Speaker 1: an hour? It was like for half an hour, so
Speaker 1: two hundred and eighty dollars an hour, and then going
Speaker 1: for two hours and going for that much a week.
Speaker 1: He is spending a fortune, like his rent was one
Speaker 1: hundred and seventy. It did make me feel icky. It
Speaker 1: was one of the things that I said to him
Speaker 1: was that he basically made me fund his addiction, and
Speaker 1: he was like, what do you mean. I was like,
Speaker 1: because I was paying for your accommodation and your food
Speaker 1: and your everything, so you could afford that. I was
Speaker 1: funding you cheating on me, like you were basically making
Speaker 1: me pay for it, because if you were paying for
Speaker 1: those things yourself, you wouldn't have been able to afford
Speaker 1: to go. So that you made me fund my own cheating.
Speaker 2: It was a lot to try to reckon with, let
Speaker 2: alone try to move on from. She was sick, confused,
Speaker 2: and so hurt because at the end of the day
Speaker 2: she had loved him, so she was heartbroken. On top
Speaker 2: of all, I don't think I ate for like six
Speaker 2: days straight.
Speaker 1: I was just hollow. I couldn't feel. And also I
Speaker 1: couldn't drink like normally, if something I have a bad day,
Speaker 1: give me a glass of wine. I couldn't even like
Speaker 1: people like get drunk, it'll make you feel better. I
Speaker 1: couldn't stomach the idea of having a glass of wine
Speaker 1: or a drink at all. He didn't pack up his stuff.
Speaker 1: I had to pack it up. He didn't come back
Speaker 1: till about three days later. I said, look, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna put it in the lobby. We've got like a
Speaker 1: locked area in the lobby. And I was like, put
Speaker 1: in the lobby ring up and I'll let you in
Speaker 1: and you can grab your stuff kind of thing. Three
Speaker 1: days later when he still wun't come pick it up,
Speaker 1: and he was like, if you leave my things in
Speaker 1: the lobby, I will call the police and say that
Speaker 1: it's been stolen. He was very much getting into like
Speaker 1: on the offensive. So I would bring it up and
Speaker 1: then drop it back down and then eventually got it. All.
Speaker 1: I found when I was cleaning out all of his
Speaker 1: things a bag full of pocket puts it, like seven
Speaker 1: of them. And I think it was such a shock
Speaker 1: as well because of the sex, because he seemed so
Speaker 1: low sexual that I'm finding these, like these sex toys
Speaker 1: and finding out on this. Actually, on the last day,
Speaker 1: we had flights booked to go to New Zealand in
Speaker 1: a month's time to see my family, and he wouldn't
Speaker 1: give me my flight details because we'd booked it under
Speaker 1: one thing, and he wouldn't give me the flight details,
Speaker 1: And he was using that as a bargaining chip as
Speaker 1: to why I should store his things for longer. So
Speaker 1: when I found his old phone amongst his things that
Speaker 1: I was packing up, I was like, I plugged this
Speaker 1: and in charge it. I bet it's still attached to
Speaker 1: his email, and I'm just going to send myself the flights,
Speaker 1: like then, you can't hold that over me. And I
Speaker 1: got it plugged in, got it charged passwards the same
Speaker 1: as the current one, and oh my gosh, it was
Speaker 1: a treasure trove of information dating back to like twenty
Speaker 1: sixteen of visiting sex workers and he filmed them, and
Speaker 1: also he had lots of pictures of the ex girlfriends
Speaker 1: on there. I saw him once after that because we'd
Speaker 1: put our passports together for our New Zealand trip, and
Speaker 1: when I moved him out, I didn't realize his passport
Speaker 1: was with mine still, so we had to meet up
Speaker 1: to do the passport swap over. He seemed very angry
Speaker 1: at me for telling people, and I was like, why
Speaker 1: shouldn't I though, like if it was just your story,
Speaker 1: but you made it my story as well, it's my
Speaker 1: story to tell now because you got me involved. But
Speaker 1: he's still he was very much like well, I think
Speaker 1: he just so badly wanted to protect that image that
Speaker 1: he didn't matter what he had done. He'd been living
Speaker 1: with what he was doing for a very long time,
Speaker 1: so it wasn't as much of a shock to him
Speaker 1: as it was to me, but because it was new
Speaker 1: to me, I was like, no, I need to talk
Speaker 1: about this. It's going to help me to talk about this.
Speaker 1: And I think that he just holds so much anger
Speaker 1: over that that I should have just let him move
Speaker 1: on and let him try again with someone new without
Speaker 1: anyone knowing. It definitely dented my confidence. It's still dented now,
Speaker 1: but it is it's getting better because I think I've
Speaker 1: done so much research on it, read up about men
Speaker 1: who have come up who have these issues and the
Speaker 1: women who stand by them or don't, and like the
Speaker 1: effects that it has, and I think it is such
Speaker 1: an addiction, like it's not real life. I think because
Speaker 1: he'd been doing it for so long, a real relationship,
Speaker 1: not that it was boring, but just wasn't the same.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's any reflection on me or anyone
Speaker 1: else who's been through it. Like there will be times
Speaker 1: that I will still feel super self conscious and a
Speaker 1: bit low about it, and when I do sleep with
Speaker 1: someone again, like it'll be like a it's going to
Speaker 1: have to take my time this time, you know. But
Speaker 1: I think like at its crux and what my heart
Speaker 1: is that it's actually not a reflection. I mean without
Speaker 1: putting in any work. I think that it then makes
Speaker 1: it really hard to live a normal life. And I
Speaker 1: do feel sorry for him for that, like that's going
Speaker 1: to be a massive issue to overcome. I think that
Speaker 1: trust in your gut is so important. Like the intuition
Speaker 1: on women is insane. We have got it just naturally
Speaker 1: in us. And I think while I was happy and
Speaker 1: joyful and madly in love, there was something there that
Speaker 1: I knew was off. I knew something was I couldn't
Speaker 1: figure out what it was. And I think that I
Speaker 1: put these trivial little issues in place to kind of
Speaker 1: bury bury that emotion and be like, oh, it's just
Speaker 1: because of this. But I think trust your gut because
Speaker 1: it's never really wrong. I never thought he was a cheater.
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, he's a pain in
Speaker 1: the ass and he needs to do the dishes more,
Speaker 1: but he's not a cheater. And I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you can't be a cheater and not do
Speaker 1: the dishes like peck one. Yeah, I've gone on a
Speaker 1: few dates. I'm very cautious now. I feel like my
Speaker 1: red flag radar is so high that any little thing
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's a no. I'm so happy with everything
Speaker 1: else that I've got going on, and it's a massive
Speaker 1: bonus that I found out about this. We never had kids,
Speaker 1: we never got married, it was only a year into
Speaker 1: the relationship, could have been three easily. If that little
Speaker 1: thing haven't happened while we're watching a movie, I might
Speaker 1: not have found out for a very long time. So
Speaker 1: thank you, universe. Appreciate that.
Speaker 2: Everyone Has an X is a Minti Media production and
Speaker 2: proudly part of the Mum and Me Network. It's written
Speaker 2: and narrated by Georgia Love and produced by Linda Scott.
Speaker 2: If you like We've heard, support the podcast by hitting subscribe,
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Speaker 2: And if you have a story you'd like to share,
Speaker 2: you can contact us at Everyone Has an ex at
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