WEBVTT - Lenny Is Three And Kel Has Some Feelings

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<v Speaker 1>We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land. We're recording

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<v Speaker 1>on today.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you sh roll wear so much at that phrase?

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<v Speaker 2>And everyone says it the days are long but the

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<v Speaker 2>years short or time is a thief? Yeah, because it's

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<v Speaker 2>just really laming cliche, but it's also fucking accurat.

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<v Speaker 1>It is it is. It is.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to Eat, Sleep, Shit, repeat, the podcast that

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<v Speaker 2>is all about the madness that is motherhood and everything

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<v Speaker 2>unhinged in between.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Kelly McCarran, I'm Key Resells and it's our man

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<v Speaker 1>lands birthday.

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<v Speaker 2>And I am not okay, But if all goes well,

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<v Speaker 2>he will be receiving a kitten in a box today,

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<v Speaker 2>so I'll be distracted by tiny paws and tiny little mows.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, this is possibly the greatest thing ever. He's actually

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<v Speaker 1>getting a cat.

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<v Speaker 2>He's actually getting a cat. We're recording this a week

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<v Speaker 2>in advance. He should be getting a cat, getting alat

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<v Speaker 2>he is.

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<v Speaker 1>Well.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so interesting because I don't know if I've ever

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<v Speaker 2>mentioned the cat on the pod, but about a year

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<v Speaker 2>ago we had a random cat visiting on the.

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<v Speaker 1>Reg I remember, I remember Clarence.

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<v Speaker 2>Clarence and then all of a sudden. I think it

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<v Speaker 2>was around winter. Clarence just like stopped coming and visiting.

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<v Speaker 2>And it was really sad because sometimes we had to

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<v Speaker 2>boot Clarence out because he and Percy would fight. Only

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<v Speaker 2>Percy never fought with him. Clarence would try to dominate Percy.

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<v Speaker 2>But like, he was really good with the kids, and

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<v Speaker 2>Lenny loved playing with Clarence and we started feeding him,

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<v Speaker 2>let him I did with them. I defleed him.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you really looked after that car.

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<v Speaker 2>I really did. And I was very sad when Clarence

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<v Speaker 2>stopped coming to visit us. And then there was one

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<v Speaker 2>day where I was looking outside and Lenny was just

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<v Speaker 2>lying on the deck thing, just waving this toy sadly around,

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<v Speaker 2>trying to get Percy to play with him, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, oh god.

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<v Speaker 1>But also can we talk about how Clarence wasn't a strake,

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<v Speaker 1>He was actually a domestic.

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<v Speaker 2>Cat that was just coming wildly unsure. Well, no, sorry,

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<v Speaker 2>he was, because yes, that tade that he came over

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<v Speaker 2>with a collar on, and we were like, oh, oh okay,

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<v Speaker 2>parent has just been coming over to get fed twice,

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<v Speaker 2>which we don't mind because it and he had like

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<v Speaker 2>one eye and it was just a funny much perse Well,

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<v Speaker 2>then Percy lost his leg and we were like, we

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<v Speaker 2>have a one eyed homeless cat and a three legged cat.

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<v Speaker 1>Taught me through the decision to adding another pet, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>was Luke into this because you've had a rough trot

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<v Speaker 1>with cats? And I'd be like, it is quite an

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<v Speaker 1>emotional decision for you to get another one, I would imagine.

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<v Speaker 2>So basically, to cut a long story shot, I'll give

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<v Speaker 2>you the TLDR of our history with cats. Luke and

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<v Speaker 2>I got together about ten years ago, and then we

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<v Speaker 2>had been living together for about six months and both

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<v Speaker 2>of us really wanted a pet. We loved pets, and

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<v Speaker 2>it was I think that was like one thing that

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh my god, because I'd always wanted

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<v Speaker 2>a pet as a grown up. I always had family pets, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>as a kid and a teenager. But every partner I'd

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<v Speaker 2>had before hadn't wanted to get a pet. That we

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<v Speaker 2>always like, no, that's a silly thing to do, and

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<v Speaker 2>Luke was like, yeah, let's get a cat. Like, because

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<v Speaker 2>we're an apartment we didn't want to get a dog. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>I started looking around at cats too, because we thought

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<v Speaker 2>we will adopt maybe even an older cat or just

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<v Speaker 2>I don't even know how the decision came around to

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<v Speaker 2>get a cat instead of a kitten. But this one

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<v Speaker 2>cat that I found up for adoption, its face just

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<v Speaker 2>called to me. And it had a ridiculous name. Its

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<v Speaker 2>name was Whitechapel and it was a very overweight British

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<v Speaker 2>short hair cat that the owners wanted to rehome because

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<v Speaker 2>they had little kids, and White Chapel was kind of

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<v Speaker 2>old and really cranky. And so I went around and

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<v Speaker 2>Luke was like, not into getting a cat that was

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<v Speaker 2>being rehomed that was older. I don't know, I think

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<v Speaker 2>he was a bit set on a kitten. Yeah, anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>I went to visit this cat one night and I

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<v Speaker 2>sent a photo of this cat and Luke was like,

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<v Speaker 2>bring that cat home.

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<v Speaker 1>That's really sweet. So did you take it there?

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<v Speaker 2>And then no, No. I arranged to come back in

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<v Speaker 2>a week or so because it was this people's cat

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<v Speaker 2>they needed to cat.

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry, and we.

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<v Speaker 2>Took Whitechapel, who we then called Herbie because we were like,

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<v Speaker 2>that's a ridiculous name. Sorry that you're ten years old

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<v Speaker 2>and we are calling you a new name, but.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not gonna work.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So we got Herbie. Herbie was twelve kilos. He

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<v Speaker 2>was very overweight, and long story short, unfortunately we had

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<v Speaker 2>to put Herbie down only ten months later because it

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<v Speaker 2>turns out that another reason we think they were trying

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<v Speaker 2>to rehome him was because he was absolutely riddled with cancer.

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<v Speaker 1>So you do think they knew about it.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know how you wouldn't. You wouldn't. Yeah, Like

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<v Speaker 2>he was pretty sick from the get go anyway, So

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<v Speaker 2>that was pretty traumatic, but quite quickly I actually wanted

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<v Speaker 2>more cats, like to begin with it, cat, I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>another cat to be on with those. Oh I'm never

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<v Speaker 2>getting a pet again. And then it was like a

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<v Speaker 2>month later, I was like, oh my god, you we

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<v Speaker 2>just needed they needed the companionship because it was traumatic.

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<v Speaker 2>It was awful. Everyone has had to put a pet down.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a family member, like you just love it. And

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to get something that was a wildly different experience.

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<v Speaker 2>So we were looking at kittens. I found this lady

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<v Speaker 2>that was.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like they had a litter that they needed.

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<v Speaker 2>To Yeah, they had a litter that they were looking

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<v Speaker 2>for homes for. Except these were the last two kittens left,

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<v Speaker 2>and I sent a photo of them to Luke, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, which one. There was a white one

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<v Speaker 2>and a little brown one. I said, I can't choose,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe the bram one and he was like, get them both.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, we can't separate them because they were

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<v Speaker 2>in this little box together and they were just so

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<v Speaker 2>cute because they were siblings anyway, so lol, we got

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<v Speaker 2>them both and we named them Percy and Polly, and

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<v Speaker 2>they were the cutest little siblings. It was such a

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<v Speaker 2>magical few years with them both. But unfortunately, when Polly

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<v Speaker 2>was only two, she developed a heart condition. And this

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<v Speaker 2>is the short version of this story, but the shit

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<v Speaker 2>that we have done for our pets. We went through

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<v Speaker 2>over a year and a paf of every single day,

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<v Speaker 2>no matter what we were doing, where we were, we

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<v Speaker 2>had to be home at seven am seven pm to

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<v Speaker 2>give our cat her medicine and of several different types

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<v Speaker 2>of medicine that we're helping her heart. So we'd be

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<v Speaker 2>at like a wedding and Luke would have to disappear

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<v Speaker 2>for an hour to go back home and give the

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<v Speaker 2>cat medicine. And then we'd pay for like vet nurses

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<v Speaker 2>to stay with our pets yes while we were away,

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<v Speaker 2>because they needed to be able to medicate the cats.

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<v Speaker 2>They also needed to know what to do if Polly

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<v Speaker 2>started panicking.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a full time thing, like a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>time job.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank god for pet insurance and thank god I had

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<v Speaker 2>an understanding boss that was fine with me taking lots

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<v Speaker 2>of time off through all of these or just being

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<v Speaker 2>able to like rush home. Oh my god, remember the

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<v Speaker 2>kiddie cam. Yes, I do. I remember the kid because

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<v Speaker 2>Keen and I were working together when Polly was diagnosed

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<v Speaker 2>with this. So she's with me through this, actually, and

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<v Speaker 2>you're working with me through herbie dying as well. So

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<v Speaker 2>I literally had like a baby monitor for my cats

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<v Speaker 2>and I would the day because I just had such

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<v Speaker 2>bad anxiety that I was going to come home and

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<v Speaker 2>she would be dead anyway. One hour was pregnant and

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<v Speaker 2>I was in lockdown. One day she was having an

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<v Speaker 2>episode and we thought that it was just a regular episode.

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<v Speaker 2>The VET said bring her in. She died and it

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<v Speaker 2>was absolutely fucked and percy for I still get so

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<v Speaker 2>upset talking about this, and it was like two and

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<v Speaker 2>a half years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, so Polly died before Len.

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<v Speaker 2>Lenn never met her.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I didn't realize that.

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<v Speaker 2>I knows who she is because you've got photos and

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<v Speaker 2>I like show him. But she was Luke's cat. She

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<v Speaker 2>was Luke's baby. But it was funny because she was

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<v Speaker 2>with me through that first trimester and when I was

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<v Speaker 2>so ill, and it was just like she knew because

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<v Speaker 2>she would come and sit on my womb and she

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<v Speaker 2>never sat on me, but she would sit directly on my.

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<v Speaker 1>Worms are so intuitive around it's insane.

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<v Speaker 2>And Percy would just me out at the door and

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<v Speaker 2>he looked for her for weeks. It was fucked. It

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<v Speaker 2>was really sad.

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<v Speaker 1>That's really sad.

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<v Speaker 2>So we decided that we would get Lenny a kitten

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<v Speaker 2>because we thought Lenny really deserves a little friend because

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<v Speaker 2>he's so caring with animals and he just loves them

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<v Speaker 2>so much.

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<v Speaker 1>And also getting pets for your kids is.

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<v Speaker 2>Like teaching them responsibility, teaching really care.

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<v Speaker 1>I always I got a bird.

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<v Speaker 2>Your parents and your grandparents sucked in that regard, because

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<v Speaker 2>every kid deserves a pet. I think if you can

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<v Speaker 2>afford it.

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<v Speaker 1>Ylan, it was a blue budgy.

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<v Speaker 2>Percy I think would really enjoy the friend. So that's

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<v Speaker 2>why we are getting a kitten, but we're getting a girl,

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<v Speaker 2>just to really minimize the risk of any dominance problems.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it'll be a little girlfriend for the.

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<v Speaker 1>Person to get along with. Very sweet.

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<v Speaker 2>So we're going to go to the iris PCA on

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<v Speaker 2>the weekend hopefully and pick out a little friend with

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<v Speaker 2>land to take home. Anyway, So that is why Lenny

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<v Speaker 2>is getting a cat and we're getting not getting a

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<v Speaker 2>dog because they seem like too much hard work and

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<v Speaker 2>we still don't have a big enough backyard.

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<v Speaker 1>And also a dog and a cat like it's too risk.

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<v Speaker 2>It's been cruel for Purse. Yeah, I think he tolerates dogs,

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<v Speaker 2>but like he's only got three legs. How's he going

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<v Speaker 2>to run away from a dog?

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<v Speaker 1>It's not very nice. Well, the other thing I'm quite

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<v Speaker 1>excited about today, I must say is the fact that

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<v Speaker 1>it's the last recording day for me before I go

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<v Speaker 1>on Matte leave.

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<v Speaker 2>Which is probably for the best given she's terrified of cats,

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<v Speaker 2>and next week there will be an extra one.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I'm going to fully miss out on

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<v Speaker 1>the cat. Can I just say? Though? When I rocked

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<v Speaker 1>up this morning, Cal was like, yeah, how many weeks

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<v Speaker 1>are you? Like, thirty three, thirty four. I'm like, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>thirty seven weeks today and you're like, why are we

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<v Speaker 1>still working?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I was like, what is wrong with you? What

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<v Speaker 2>are you chucking?

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<v Speaker 1>And me?

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<v Speaker 2>But Ru is going to want to come over and

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<v Speaker 2>visit the kit, for.

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<v Speaker 1>She loves all animals. She's not scatter cats like me.

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<v Speaker 1>But I will just say that having one three legged

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<v Speaker 1>pussy is scary enough without a small feeline running around.

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<v Speaker 1>So I am kind of glad leave his beginning. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>just a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, moving on, So we've discussed the gift, hopefully a

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<v Speaker 2>pussy in a box.

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<v Speaker 1>Hopefully a pussy in a.

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<v Speaker 2>Box, because today is Lenny's third birthday and I just

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<v Speaker 2>simply cannot fathom where the last three years have gone.

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<v Speaker 2>But it also feels like a lifetime. I just roll

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<v Speaker 2>why I so much at that phrase and everyone says

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<v Speaker 2>it the days are long, but the years is short

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<v Speaker 2>or time.

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<v Speaker 1>Is a thief?

0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:48.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because it's just really laying cliche, but it's also

0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:49.440
<v Speaker 2>so fucking accurate.

0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.120
<v Speaker 1>It is it is, it is.

0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:56.680
<v Speaker 2>But Key, I'm really interested. I feel like you have

0:10:56.840 --> 0:11:00.880
<v Speaker 2>felt differently about Ru's birthdays to how I've always felt

0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:03.560
<v Speaker 2>around Lenny's. So can you walk me through how you

0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.520
<v Speaker 2>felt She's had two and she has a third upcoming.

0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:11.000
<v Speaker 1>Yes, So I've always been really excited to celebrate her

0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:14.720
<v Speaker 1>but also us, Like I feel like, especially the first

0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:17.720
<v Speaker 1>birthday was such a milestone just to like reflect on, like, hey,

0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:18.800
<v Speaker 1>we made it through that first year.

0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:21.280
<v Speaker 2>I remember you were like, there's drinks. This is for us.

0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:23.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, there's alcohol at any party that I'm hosting.

0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.320
<v Speaker 1>Just let me tell you. When I was thinking about

0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:29.480
<v Speaker 1>being a mom and how I would parent, I felt like,

0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:32.400
<v Speaker 1>I think a lot of what I'm doing is definitely

0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:34.960
<v Speaker 1>like healing in a child. I know that sounds so wanky,

0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.679
<v Speaker 1>but like I don't want her to have any like

0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.320
<v Speaker 1>really weird feelings around anything. I have a lot of

0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:41.199
<v Speaker 1>weird feeling around my.

0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:44.720
<v Speaker 2>Birthday because a birthday, I hate it. I always like

0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:46.000
<v Speaker 2>feel let down by it.

0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:48.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I don't want her to feel that way.

0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:50.520
<v Speaker 1>Like I want to like celebrate these milestones with her,

0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:54.280
<v Speaker 1>make them really exciting, not in like an extravagant way.

0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.000
<v Speaker 1>Watch me like rent a fucking jumping castle.

0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:00.760
<v Speaker 2>Next shit, You'll be like, hell, are you available? Face painting?

0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:03.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Actually, the latest kid's birthday I went to, there

0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:05.439
<v Speaker 1>was a face painter and it went off.

0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:07.520
<v Speaker 2>Kids love it and they wait patiently.

0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:09.800
<v Speaker 1>They do, and I'm like, where's this energy for anything else?

0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:14.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? We really why and more people not ask me

0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:14.520
<v Speaker 2>to do?

0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:16.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you are so good. Actually I can.

0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:18.880
<v Speaker 2>Do pussy cats and unicorns and shit.

0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:20.520
<v Speaker 1>Can you do barber black sheep? Because that's what we

0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:21.000
<v Speaker 1>requested it.

0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:22.120
<v Speaker 2>This sounds offensive.

0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:23.920
<v Speaker 1>She wanted a black sheep?

0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:26.120
<v Speaker 2>Can we not have black face kids running around?

0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:28.480
<v Speaker 1>We were a little bit like, this is a little bit.

0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:30.400
<v Speaker 2>White face with black ears.

0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:32.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, something in the middle or something in it all.

0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:35.200
<v Speaker 1>But like, I don't want it to be particularly over

0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:37.160
<v Speaker 1>the top. But what I always want to feel is

0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.880
<v Speaker 1>that we're celebrating her each year and the things that

0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:43.760
<v Speaker 1>she's accomplished and up until I think she can really

0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:47.760
<v Speaker 1>do stuff that is worth celebrating. It's more celebrating us, yeah,

0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.040
<v Speaker 1>but also giving thanks to the people who are like

0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:53.480
<v Speaker 1>in our supports, ceiling and our village exactly. I think

0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:55.640
<v Speaker 1>for me, it's just about doing all the things that

0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:58.840
<v Speaker 1>I wish were done for me kind of thing. Anyway,

0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:02.160
<v Speaker 1>So the traditions that we've kind of implemented so far

0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:03.760
<v Speaker 1>have been writing a letter.

0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:05.760
<v Speaker 2>For each birthday to her, like in a baby book.

0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:09.040
<v Speaker 1>No, just like birthday card, oh, like a little letter,

0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:11.439
<v Speaker 1>just say do you store them? Though? I store all

0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:13.679
<v Speaker 1>of her stuff. I saw all of my cards, all

0:13:13.720 --> 0:13:16.080
<v Speaker 1>of Charlie's cards. I just have like a box that

0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:19.200
<v Speaker 1>everything goes into. We also have like a tradition that

0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:23.000
<v Speaker 1>Lucy's boyfriend John makes her birthday cake. The first year

0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:25.000
<v Speaker 1>he did a number one, and then the second year

0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:28.000
<v Speaker 1>he did a giant turtle because she was so obsessed

0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:29.200
<v Speaker 1>with turtles. Was really cute.

0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:30.880
<v Speaker 2>I wonder if she's gonna want to whale this year.

0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:32.920
<v Speaker 2>She's still obsessed with the whale. I know, whales of

0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:35.480
<v Speaker 2>hard or a snail. Snail John that would.

0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:38.439
<v Speaker 1>Want a snail, She could want Mowana. I think it

0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:40.839
<v Speaker 1>might be the year a black sheet. Or she might

0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:44.320
<v Speaker 1>want Poor, the pig that is literally on Mowana for

0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:45.839
<v Speaker 1>twenty seconds that she's obsessed with.

0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:49.080
<v Speaker 2>Lenny's asked for a big truck. So I've got trucks

0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.160
<v Speaker 2>are easy, though, I reckon I'll be able to know it.

0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:53.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I reckon, truck's easy. You just make it yellow

0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:54.520
<v Speaker 1>and put some on.

0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:56.440
<v Speaker 2>Someone said, tell me about buying one. I'm like, I'm

0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:58.280
<v Speaker 2>a fucking spinning three hundred and fifty.

0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:00.679
<v Speaker 1>Dollars a cake. Also the uglier, the like it's like

0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:04.240
<v Speaker 1>that's what I reckon, Yeah, I reckon it's really funny.

0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:06.720
<v Speaker 1>And then like a family photograph. I know that's like silly,

0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:09.160
<v Speaker 1>but sometimes on these days you can forget to like

0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:12.360
<v Speaker 1>take a family pick together. I love seeing them next

0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:15.200
<v Speaker 1>to each other and seeing how much she's changed, but

0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:17.160
<v Speaker 1>also seeing how much we have changed. Like you can

0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:20.840
<v Speaker 1>really see the confidence from first to second birth. Yeah,

0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:21.920
<v Speaker 1>we know how to hold her.

0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:24.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know what you're doing.

0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:27.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, A little bit more so for her first birthday, well,

0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:30.440
<v Speaker 1>she had pneumonia which wouldn't fin out to the end

0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:32.440
<v Speaker 1>of the day. I forget, never forget.

0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:36.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh she's a bit floppy. I get it together, GF,

0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:37.920
<v Speaker 2>this is your day.

0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:41.920
<v Speaker 1>It was so bad. Obviously, looking back, it was obvious

0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:44.640
<v Speaker 1>that she was unwell, but we just didn't pick up

0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:46.880
<v Speaker 1>on it. But I remember I was being so stressed,

0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:50.280
<v Speaker 1>mainly because it was a fucking cyclone weather. It was

0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:52.800
<v Speaker 1>event Still, people rocked up though, and we got a

0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:56.160
<v Speaker 1>little gazebo up happening and whatever. I made the most

0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:59.200
<v Speaker 1>of it, but I also loved it so much because

0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.840
<v Speaker 1>we got to really thank our village in that moment.

0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:04.960
<v Speaker 1>Just made a really small speech, just saying like, obviously,

0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:08.120
<v Speaker 1>living in Sydney, you're our chosen family and we're just

0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:10.320
<v Speaker 1>so thankful to have you here, and just like seeing

0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:12.840
<v Speaker 1>people turn up for your kid is like really special,

0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, I don't know, I really really liked it.

0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:17.880
<v Speaker 2>That's such a good point because I think that's where

0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.160
<v Speaker 2>I feel very sad for Lenn every year. I'm like,

0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:23.400
<v Speaker 2>oh God, there's really no one in his corner. But

0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:25.600
<v Speaker 2>then you pointed out last year you were like, Kelly,

0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:27.480
<v Speaker 2>you don't have birthday parties from.

0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:29.840
<v Speaker 1>You don't And that's when people show up to show

0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:31.880
<v Speaker 1>you their love. Like I think it's really a card,

0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:34.880
<v Speaker 1>that's all I'm saying. Who sends cards these days? Well

0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:37.760
<v Speaker 1>you send a text message and that's not very personal.

0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:40.680
<v Speaker 1>But if you have a birthday, people do cards still,

0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:43.320
<v Speaker 1>like they really do. You need to do it. Because

0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:45.920
<v Speaker 1>this is the thing, right, is that we isolate ourselves

0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:47.960
<v Speaker 1>to the point where we think, oh, no one cares.

0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:52.520
<v Speaker 1>But if you have an event, people like, oh fuck yeah,

0:15:52.600 --> 0:15:54.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm coming to that. I'm going to celebrate you. I'm

0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:56.640
<v Speaker 1>going to support you. I'm going to like be there

0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:03.560
<v Speaker 1>for you. Who wasn't there, Kelly, Both times because you're like, oh.

0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:05.640
<v Speaker 2>You know, you want to support someone. The first time,

0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:08.320
<v Speaker 2>I did make up an excuse because I just didn't

0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:10.320
<v Speaker 2>feel like gone because it was really bad weather, and.

0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:12.120
<v Speaker 1>I was it was really mean.

0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:15.920
<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, so then everyone got sick, did they not?

0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:17.480
<v Speaker 2>And that's what I was scared of.

0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:20.520
<v Speaker 1>No, no one got sick. Rue had to go to

0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:22.880
<v Speaker 1>hospital for three to four days. I mean it was

0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:25.440
<v Speaker 1>not good. Yeah, she her breathing was really bad. She got.

0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:28.720
<v Speaker 2>That was also during the stage where Lenny would just scream,

0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:30.960
<v Speaker 2>so it would have sat in a fucking corner with him.

0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:33.280
<v Speaker 2>It's yeah, it is more miserable for me. Back in

0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:36.480
<v Speaker 2>the day. My second party, we actually did have something on.

0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:38.200
<v Speaker 2>I can't even remember what it was, but I remember

0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:41.200
<v Speaker 2>having to tell him being like because we had joked

0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:43.280
<v Speaker 2>or she roasted me the whole year about me not

0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:45.800
<v Speaker 2>attending Rue's first birthday and then I was like, what

0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:47.520
<v Speaker 2>was it? I can't but it was something I actually

0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:47.880
<v Speaker 2>could have.

0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:50.360
<v Speaker 1>It was like some friend I'd never heard of his

0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:53.120
<v Speaker 1>birthday or something, and I was like, whatever, I'm sure

0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:53.960
<v Speaker 1>it's not true.

0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:54.960
<v Speaker 2>It was.

0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.400
<v Speaker 1>It was true, it was legitimate. It was fine. I

0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:00.120
<v Speaker 1>loved just like you know, yeah, yeah.

0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:02.640
<v Speaker 2>I really like, can you at least give me notice

0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.399
<v Speaker 2>for Bruce's birth birthday because be really awkward.

0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:07.639
<v Speaker 1>Okay, it'll be the last two weeks of April or

0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:09.280
<v Speaker 1>the first week of May, so just keep those three

0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:13.600
<v Speaker 1>weeks free. Three weeks. We'll figure it out. But yeah,

0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:15.080
<v Speaker 1>as I said, it kind of ended up in a

0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:17.520
<v Speaker 1>bit of a fucked way. Everyone had so much fun though.

0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:20.240
<v Speaker 1>It was really fun and a few people stayed after

0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:21.879
<v Speaker 1>and it was just really good. But then I realized

0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:23.520
<v Speaker 1>you'd been sleeping for like five hours and.

0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:25.080
<v Speaker 2>You were like, shit, I have to take your to hospital.

0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:26.120
<v Speaker 2>And then it was like four days.

0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:29.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and we actually then spent our first proper mother's

0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:32.000
<v Speaker 1>day in hospital, which was really sad. Bomb bomb second

0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:35.159
<v Speaker 1>birthday also not great. Also not great. It was a

0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:37.560
<v Speaker 1>few months after Deb's passing, so.

0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:40.600
<v Speaker 2>Bareley it was like, it's like two months, Yeah, it

0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:41.520
<v Speaker 2>was do we.

0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:43.960
<v Speaker 1>Want to celebrate? Do we not want to celebrate? But

0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:45.480
<v Speaker 1>what got it across the line for me is that

0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:48.480
<v Speaker 1>we decided to co host with her bestie Goldies parents

0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:52.440
<v Speaker 1>Luke and Back, and honestly, joint birthdays are so much fun.

0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:53.720
<v Speaker 1>Sharing the lot.

0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:56.680
<v Speaker 2>Me and my sister are going to do a joint

0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:58.919
<v Speaker 2>one next year for the Yes. Good, but at the

0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:00.560
<v Speaker 2>moment we didn't have anywhere to do so.

0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:03.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so fair enough, fair enough. But I think what

0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:06.960
<v Speaker 1>happens with a lot of these kind of kid related

0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:09.640
<v Speaker 1>tasks is that the mental load does fall to the mum.

0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:13.359
<v Speaker 1>Like it doesn't matter how helpful the dad or you know,

0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:17.240
<v Speaker 1>the secondary care is a lot of that mental load

0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:21.119
<v Speaker 1>still falls on you. So if you join forces, you're

0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:23.560
<v Speaker 1>kind of sharing that mental load. Which and cost and

0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:25.720
<v Speaker 1>cost yeah, which was also.

0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:29.119
<v Speaker 2>Telling me what you spent on that second birthday that

0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:30.280
<v Speaker 2>on it was like so good.

0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:33.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh it was not expensive now, it was really reasonable.

0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:36.000
<v Speaker 1>But what I really liked about that birthday was just

0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:40.119
<v Speaker 1>like so nice after having not really socialized much in

0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.359
<v Speaker 1>those two months leading up to her birthday, it was

0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:43.919
<v Speaker 1>really nice just to have all of our friends in

0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:46.480
<v Speaker 1>one place to catch up. And I think that's another

0:18:46.520 --> 0:18:49.040
<v Speaker 1>reason why it's important to do birthdays, is because a

0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:53.520
<v Speaker 1>lot of parenting little kids is not seeing all of

0:18:53.560 --> 0:18:56.160
<v Speaker 1>your friends all the time. Yeah, so like having something

0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:59.320
<v Speaker 1>in the calendar that's kid friendly, that's a little bit

0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:02.800
<v Speaker 1>more relaxed, you can see your friends. It's a good

0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:05.959
<v Speaker 1>thing to tick off the list, ye know, instead of

0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:10.280
<v Speaker 1>not doing anything and then going even longer without potentially

0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:13.600
<v Speaker 1>seeing friends. And afterwards, the after party is always funner

0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:16.400
<v Speaker 1>than the party. Like we hung out with Beck's family

0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:18.800
<v Speaker 1>and Georgie. Charlie's sister was in town, so that was

0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:21.600
<v Speaker 1>really beautiful as well, just to kind of like reflect

0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:25.119
<v Speaker 1>on how lucky we are to have them in our lives.

0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:27.240
<v Speaker 1>And I don't know, there's just a lot of people

0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:30.879
<v Speaker 1>that care about Ruin. It's so sweet to have those reminders.

0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:31.320
<v Speaker 2>Yep.

0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:35.600
<v Speaker 1>And I'm never not going to have a birthday party

0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:37.439
<v Speaker 1>for her, even if you.

0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Feel like I should fail.

0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:39.800
<v Speaker 1>They're so fun.

0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:41.280
<v Speaker 2>I know it's too late now though.

0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:43.439
<v Speaker 1>This is the thing. It doesn't have to be big.

0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:47.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm having our immediate family over for a barbecue. Yeah, lovely,

0:19:48.119 --> 0:19:51.000
<v Speaker 2>you know. And then Uncle Stink's my best friend is

0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:54.600
<v Speaker 2>coming over today after daycare and we're putting a little

0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:56.119
<v Speaker 2>birthday party on just us.

0:19:56.240 --> 0:19:58.520
<v Speaker 1>So we're doing things exactly. And that's what I wanted

0:19:58.560 --> 0:20:01.560
<v Speaker 1>to say. It like doesn't have to be big birthday.

0:20:02.000 --> 0:20:04.240
<v Speaker 2>Heaps of people, so yeah, but it's.

0:20:04.240 --> 0:20:08.639
<v Speaker 1>Just something that's like celebrating, Oh yeah, no, doing.

0:20:07.440 --> 0:20:10.040
<v Speaker 2>We celebrate him. I should have Clara. Yeah.

0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:12.159
<v Speaker 1>And also the two birthday parties I've had for have

0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:15.159
<v Speaker 1>been in our backyard. They're not over the top. We

0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:17.720
<v Speaker 1>get some bunting from Kmart and we get a couple

0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:20.400
<v Speaker 1>of what are those tables called trestle table.

0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:23.080
<v Speaker 2>Trestle tables, chuck a little thing. Give me one of

0:20:23.119 --> 0:20:27.000
<v Speaker 2>those birthday parties. I hate seeing Pinterest birthday parties. No,

0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:29.679
<v Speaker 2>I'm just like, who is that for? No? I know

0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:32.440
<v Speaker 2>who are you doing this for? For the gram? Also

0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:35.639
<v Speaker 2>give me a proper, low key like past the past al.

0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:38.440
<v Speaker 1>Yes, oh my god, he is old enough.

0:20:38.480 --> 0:20:41.560
<v Speaker 2>Maybe next year I want to do like a proper

0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:45.400
<v Speaker 2>birthday party, like proper lollibags. Yes, none of this ship

0:20:45.480 --> 0:20:48.399
<v Speaker 2>with healthy stuff in them or stup a little toys,

0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:51.680
<v Speaker 2>give the lollies. I want to do like past the

0:20:51.720 --> 0:20:56.040
<v Speaker 2>pastl musical chairs, like just all the ugly, like tacky

0:20:56.240 --> 0:20:59.520
<v Speaker 2>birthday ship that we had, party hats so yes.

0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:02.800
<v Speaker 1>Egg spoon rays like all that fun stuff. It doesn't

0:21:02.840 --> 0:21:04.560
<v Speaker 1>have to be aesthetic, but it just needms to be

0:21:04.560 --> 0:21:07.240
<v Speaker 1>fun exactly with some champagne.

0:21:07.320 --> 0:21:09.440
<v Speaker 2>With some champagne for the time, and if it's the morning,

0:21:09.480 --> 0:21:10.359
<v Speaker 2>look you can do a bellini.

0:21:10.760 --> 0:21:14.360
<v Speaker 1>The most exactly lovely, So talk me through your feelings

0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:15.840
<v Speaker 1>then about birthdays?

0:21:16.280 --> 0:21:19.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh goodness me. The reason why I did want to

0:21:19.800 --> 0:21:22.400
<v Speaker 2>do this episode because you might be listening and thinking, well,

0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:26.320
<v Speaker 2>this is just a very narcissistic way for you to

0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:28.600
<v Speaker 2>chat about your child's birthday party.

0:21:28.800 --> 0:21:31.200
<v Speaker 1>No, I don't think so. I think a lot of

0:21:31.240 --> 0:21:33.080
<v Speaker 1>people listening are going to be either you or me

0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:34.240
<v Speaker 1>about this. Well.

0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:37.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's funny because when I did sort of ask

0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:41.320
<v Speaker 2>the shit is what they thought, which I'll read some

0:21:41.400 --> 0:21:44.679
<v Speaker 2>of the responses later in the episode. A couple of

0:21:44.720 --> 0:21:47.359
<v Speaker 2>different people said, I think I'm alone in how I

0:21:47.400 --> 0:21:49.360
<v Speaker 2>feel about this, and I was like, oh my god,

0:21:49.400 --> 0:21:51.240
<v Speaker 2>that's why I want to do this episode, because it's

0:21:51.400 --> 0:21:54.520
<v Speaker 2>not You're not alone. One thing that I have learned

0:21:54.840 --> 0:21:58.800
<v Speaker 2>is that you are never alone. Not one thought that

0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:02.159
<v Speaker 2>you have is a unique experience. I promise you that totally.

0:22:02.200 --> 0:22:04.840
<v Speaker 1>And I think it's just that we are conditioned to

0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:07.560
<v Speaker 1>believe that there's only one way of doing things because

0:22:07.600 --> 0:22:11.439
<v Speaker 1>there is a dominating visual of what it means to

0:22:11.440 --> 0:22:14.000
<v Speaker 1>be a good parent exactly, which means like an over

0:22:14.000 --> 0:22:17.360
<v Speaker 1>the top aesthetic Pinterest's birthday party, and it's like fucking hell,

0:22:17.440 --> 0:22:19.760
<v Speaker 1>that sounds really stressful exactly.

0:22:20.520 --> 0:22:26.720
<v Speaker 2>So I personally get very depressed around Len's birthday. I

0:22:26.840 --> 0:22:30.600
<v Speaker 2>always really really struggle because for me, it reminds me

0:22:30.880 --> 0:22:35.760
<v Speaker 2>of the day I first completely disassociated from my life,

0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:40.199
<v Speaker 2>Like the pain was just so intense and I just

0:22:40.240 --> 0:22:42.680
<v Speaker 2>couldn't deal with it that I kind of just went

0:22:42.800 --> 0:22:47.720
<v Speaker 2>elsewhere because I'm thinking about his birth of days and

0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:50.879
<v Speaker 2>for thirty nine weeks in four days, I grew learning

0:22:50.960 --> 0:22:53.399
<v Speaker 2>in my body, and I imagined our life together, and

0:22:53.480 --> 0:22:55.959
<v Speaker 2>I imagined his day of birth being the happiest day

0:22:56.000 --> 0:22:59.680
<v Speaker 2>of my life. And every year then the day would

0:22:59.720 --> 0:23:02.520
<v Speaker 2>just be like this big cause for celebration because it's

0:23:02.560 --> 0:23:06.520
<v Speaker 2>the day that he entered the world. Yet the shadow

0:23:06.840 --> 0:23:10.280
<v Speaker 2>on his birthday is that it's a day that began

0:23:10.400 --> 0:23:15.040
<v Speaker 2>the hardest period of my life, and I remember moments

0:23:15.040 --> 0:23:17.719
<v Speaker 2>and feelings not really the day, and I think that

0:23:17.800 --> 0:23:20.520
<v Speaker 2>it signals the start of my PPD, which turned so

0:23:20.600 --> 0:23:23.479
<v Speaker 2>much of Len's first year, especially into just like this

0:23:23.520 --> 0:23:25.000
<v Speaker 2>big folk yeah.

0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:25.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:23:25.960 --> 0:23:29.480
<v Speaker 2>So I feel really depressed about it, and then I

0:23:29.480 --> 0:23:32.280
<v Speaker 2>feel guilty that I feel depressed about it, and then

0:23:32.320 --> 0:23:35.760
<v Speaker 2>I feel just so overwhelmed with grief for all of

0:23:35.800 --> 0:23:38.840
<v Speaker 2>those lost memories and those precious moments that I will

0:23:38.880 --> 0:23:42.439
<v Speaker 2>never get back. Especially I think an added layer is

0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:45.879
<v Speaker 2>because I am so sure that he is just the

0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:48.760
<v Speaker 2>one baby. So a big part of why I would

0:23:48.800 --> 0:23:51.640
<v Speaker 2>want to have a second is I want another turn. Yeah, yeah,

0:23:51.720 --> 0:23:55.000
<v Speaker 2>I want to do it again and like remember the

0:23:55.040 --> 0:23:58.840
<v Speaker 2>moments and get memories like yeah, it's part of that

0:23:59.040 --> 0:24:03.199
<v Speaker 2>rather than even it's just weird. And another layer of

0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:06.159
<v Speaker 2>why I find it so hard is because I have

0:24:06.400 --> 0:24:10.800
<v Speaker 2>such an incredible memory. Usually, Yeah, it freaks people out.

0:24:10.920 --> 0:24:17.320
<v Speaker 2>The visceral way that I remember things is almost weird,

0:24:17.440 --> 0:24:20.080
<v Speaker 2>Like it does freak people out sometimes, the stuff that

0:24:20.280 --> 0:24:24.080
<v Speaker 2>I can remember, like I literally can feel the joy

0:24:24.240 --> 0:24:26.760
<v Speaker 2>that fizzed inside me. I can feel like my whole

0:24:26.760 --> 0:24:29.880
<v Speaker 2>body just fizzing the joy when I was a teenager

0:24:29.920 --> 0:24:32.840
<v Speaker 2>and was playing like Red Rover at a school sleepover,

0:24:32.960 --> 0:24:36.080
<v Speaker 2>because we were far too old to be playing Red Rover,

0:24:36.240 --> 0:24:38.200
<v Speaker 2>like you know, we were teenagers, we were too cool,

0:24:38.560 --> 0:24:40.400
<v Speaker 2>But that kind of just made it all the more fun.

0:24:40.440 --> 0:24:42.359
<v Speaker 2>Like I remember that moment, I remember the joy that

0:24:42.440 --> 0:24:44.479
<v Speaker 2>was fizzing through me. I don't have any photos of this,

0:24:45.040 --> 0:24:47.600
<v Speaker 2>so it's not like it's a photo that I'm looking

0:24:47.600 --> 0:24:50.520
<v Speaker 2>at and remembering it's the joy, and I remember it

0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:54.320
<v Speaker 2>like I remember the anger that was reverberating through me

0:24:54.440 --> 0:24:58.280
<v Speaker 2>and almost fizzing with anger. This one time that I

0:24:58.320 --> 0:24:59.879
<v Speaker 2>was an angsty fifteen year old and I had a

0:25:00.119 --> 0:25:02.160
<v Speaker 2>stupid fight with my parents about talking on the phone

0:25:02.160 --> 0:25:04.520
<v Speaker 2>to a boy because it was dial up season and

0:25:04.640 --> 0:25:07.360
<v Speaker 2>Mum had to work, and I just was sitting outside

0:25:07.359 --> 0:25:10.240
<v Speaker 2>crying angry tears and I just felt pure hatred at

0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:14.680
<v Speaker 2>the world for my woes. I remember that like I

0:25:15.720 --> 0:25:18.760
<v Speaker 2>remembered terror ripping through my body. On my wedding days,

0:25:18.760 --> 0:25:20.880
<v Speaker 2>I walked up the aisle and I refused to look

0:25:20.960 --> 0:25:23.159
<v Speaker 2>up at anyone. And that was the first moment I

0:25:23.200 --> 0:25:25.919
<v Speaker 2>realized I actually don't like being the center of attention.

0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:28.720
<v Speaker 2>I always thought I did, but I really don't. I

0:25:28.760 --> 0:25:33.000
<v Speaker 2>felt terrified. Yeah, yeah, And it was funny. I recently

0:25:33.240 --> 0:25:36.160
<v Speaker 2>went to visit my friends that had a newborn, and

0:25:36.440 --> 0:25:39.560
<v Speaker 2>I was reminding one of my friends details that he'd

0:25:39.560 --> 0:25:42.480
<v Speaker 2>forgotten about his own time as a father with his firstborn.

0:25:43.160 --> 0:25:45.199
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, my god, remember these notes that

0:25:45.240 --> 0:25:48.320
<v Speaker 2>you used to make and details about a haircut, and

0:25:48.320 --> 0:25:50.600
<v Speaker 2>then this story of spilt milk, and he's looking at

0:25:50.640 --> 0:25:54.360
<v Speaker 2>me like an absolute shock. How could I remember these

0:25:54.400 --> 0:25:58.399
<v Speaker 2>details about his life that he didn't remember that I

0:25:58.440 --> 0:26:02.040
<v Speaker 2>was reminding the fog. I remember stuff like that about

0:26:02.160 --> 0:26:06.400
<v Speaker 2>everyone at all different stages, and I'll correct people. Sometimes.

0:26:06.440 --> 0:26:08.879
<v Speaker 2>I'll be like, no, it wasn't that, it was the

0:26:09.000 --> 0:26:12.200
<v Speaker 2>other correct, we could do that, and then they're like, well,

0:26:12.200 --> 0:26:15.520
<v Speaker 2>it's helpful. I would say it's very helpful. Probably not

0:26:15.520 --> 0:26:17.560
<v Speaker 2>great that I remind people of things they'd rather forget.

0:26:19.320 --> 0:26:22.679
<v Speaker 2>Yet my own time and my own memory with Lenny

0:26:22.760 --> 0:26:26.159
<v Speaker 2>feels like this big blur. It feels like it's happened

0:26:26.160 --> 0:26:28.520
<v Speaker 2>to someone else and I just watched from the periphal.

0:26:29.040 --> 0:26:31.359
<v Speaker 2>I know what's happened because I document so much of

0:26:31.400 --> 0:26:34.480
<v Speaker 2>my life with videos and photos, but I don't remember it. Yeah,

0:26:34.520 --> 0:26:38.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't remember his chubby little hands clapping, but I

0:26:38.000 --> 0:26:42.040
<v Speaker 2>have a video of his chubby little hands clapping, And

0:26:42.880 --> 0:26:45.399
<v Speaker 2>now I will look at the shape of his cheeks

0:26:45.480 --> 0:26:47.560
<v Speaker 2>and the way he purses his little lips when he's

0:26:47.560 --> 0:26:51.360
<v Speaker 2>pleased with himself. Those are things that I can't capture

0:26:52.160 --> 0:26:54.439
<v Speaker 2>with photos and videos. And I'm so terrified that I'm

0:26:54.480 --> 0:26:55.879
<v Speaker 2>going to lose those memories too.

0:26:56.160 --> 0:26:58.919
<v Speaker 1>No, I'm so scared, You're not.

0:26:59.000 --> 0:27:01.480
<v Speaker 2>I just want to freeze, freeze time because I don't

0:27:01.480 --> 0:27:04.199
<v Speaker 2>want to ever forget. And now I feel like I'm

0:27:04.240 --> 0:27:08.400
<v Speaker 2>in it and the fog is gone. Of course, things

0:27:08.400 --> 0:27:12.439
<v Speaker 2>are still hard sometimes and I feel exhausted, but I

0:27:12.440 --> 0:27:15.439
<v Speaker 2>feel like I can really enjoy and embrace him. But

0:27:15.520 --> 0:27:18.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm just so scared that I'm going to forget stuff

0:27:18.520 --> 0:27:22.719
<v Speaker 2>that I can't capture because my memories have failed me

0:27:22.800 --> 0:27:26.919
<v Speaker 2>so much so far in motherhood. And I feel so

0:27:27.040 --> 0:27:31.199
<v Speaker 2>cranky because postpartum depression is this fog that robbed me

0:27:31.280 --> 0:27:34.120
<v Speaker 2>of all of these memories and moments and his birthdays

0:27:34.200 --> 0:27:36.720
<v Speaker 2>just a reminder of that, because in some ways I

0:27:36.760 --> 0:27:39.480
<v Speaker 2>feel like it does continue to do so, and I'm

0:27:39.520 --> 0:27:43.600
<v Speaker 2>just terrified of continuing to forget. My memory has for

0:27:43.640 --> 0:27:45.840
<v Speaker 2>so long been a big superpower for me, but when

0:27:45.840 --> 0:27:48.960
<v Speaker 2>it comes to the most important thing, I can't grasp

0:27:49.080 --> 0:27:49.800
<v Speaker 2>my memories.

0:27:50.040 --> 0:27:51.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I know a.

0:27:51.160 --> 0:27:54.360
<v Speaker 2>Lot of people would feel like this. What I would

0:27:54.440 --> 0:27:56.959
<v Speaker 2>give for like half an hour with him when he

0:27:57.000 --> 0:28:02.280
<v Speaker 2>was a baby, Yeah, to remember it and to feel

0:28:02.320 --> 0:28:05.640
<v Speaker 2>like I was there. Yeah, And just also to tell

0:28:06.200 --> 0:28:10.359
<v Speaker 2>him that I love him. Oh. I told him that

0:28:10.400 --> 0:28:12.040
<v Speaker 2>when he was little, I didn't remember if I did,

0:28:12.560 --> 0:28:16.080
<v Speaker 2>and also to tell myself that you will be okay,

0:28:16.200 --> 0:28:18.840
<v Speaker 2>you are a good mum, Like I just wish that

0:28:18.880 --> 0:28:22.560
<v Speaker 2>I could tell future me that then of course that

0:28:22.600 --> 0:28:23.080
<v Speaker 2>makes sense.

0:28:23.280 --> 0:28:28.199
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but can I just say, like, none of that

0:28:28.359 --> 0:28:29.080
<v Speaker 1>was your fault?

0:28:29.560 --> 0:28:31.680
<v Speaker 2>I know that, but that doesn't make it. I don't

0:28:31.720 --> 0:28:32.920
<v Speaker 2>think any of it's my fault.

0:28:33.040 --> 0:28:39.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I think that you've done so much work well, well,

0:28:40.880 --> 0:28:43.280
<v Speaker 1>but you've come so far. Yeah, maybe that's a better

0:28:43.320 --> 0:28:47.640
<v Speaker 1>way to put it. Not everyone's newborn phase is easy, right,

0:28:47.760 --> 0:28:51.280
<v Speaker 1>but it's this much. It's so small in the grand

0:28:51.320 --> 0:28:53.080
<v Speaker 1>scheme of his whole life.

0:28:53.320 --> 0:28:57.200
<v Speaker 2>I think it's just that they physically changed so much

0:28:57.240 --> 0:29:00.280
<v Speaker 2>within that period too. Yeah, that's the fucked thing that

0:29:00.320 --> 0:29:04.520
<v Speaker 2>I think that zero to three there are just so

0:29:04.600 --> 0:29:07.840
<v Speaker 2>many stages. I don't think from three till six he

0:29:07.880 --> 0:29:11.600
<v Speaker 2>will change as much. Yeah, but he will lean out,

0:29:11.720 --> 0:29:14.600
<v Speaker 2>he will grow a little bit, but he's not gonna

0:29:14.760 --> 0:29:17.280
<v Speaker 2>it's not going to be this entirely new person that's

0:29:18.120 --> 0:29:19.520
<v Speaker 2>learning how to sit up and.

0:29:20.040 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, those little things. But I don't know if I

0:29:23.160 --> 0:29:26.040
<v Speaker 1>remember a lot of that stuff either. Some of it

0:29:26.080 --> 0:29:28.720
<v Speaker 1>I do, some of it I don't. But I think

0:29:28.760 --> 0:29:30.800
<v Speaker 1>that the thing was you were always there for him.

0:29:30.880 --> 0:29:32.760
<v Speaker 1>You never just like left him, you.

0:29:32.720 --> 0:29:35.680
<v Speaker 2>Know sometimes yeah you wanted to, you thought about it,

0:29:35.680 --> 0:29:37.400
<v Speaker 2>it didn't but you didn't.

0:29:37.680 --> 0:29:39.480
<v Speaker 1>And I think that's the thing. Like you always showed

0:29:39.520 --> 0:29:41.080
<v Speaker 1>up every day no matter how hard it was, and

0:29:41.120 --> 0:29:44.240
<v Speaker 1>you would say tomorrow is a new day, like it's

0:29:44.280 --> 0:29:46.200
<v Speaker 1>not going to necessarily be as bad as a last.

0:29:46.240 --> 0:29:47.920
<v Speaker 1>Like you had a lot of hope in those moments

0:29:47.920 --> 0:29:48.360
<v Speaker 1>as well.

0:29:48.520 --> 0:29:50.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm weirdly optimistic.

0:29:51.040 --> 0:29:53.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we's sharing how rough it was.

0:29:53.760 --> 0:29:56.600
<v Speaker 2>Also, like just in sometimes in general, I'm like weirdly

0:29:56.640 --> 0:29:57.960
<v Speaker 2>optimistic about stuff.

0:29:58.160 --> 0:30:00.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well I think you know, it always has a

0:30:00.640 --> 0:30:02.480
<v Speaker 1>way of working itself out, Like this is.

0:30:02.440 --> 0:30:06.280
<v Speaker 2>Such a tangent. But at the end of February, Luke's

0:30:06.640 --> 0:30:10.320
<v Speaker 2>starting a new job that will have him away Monday

0:30:10.360 --> 0:30:11.040
<v Speaker 2>through Saturday.

0:30:12.120 --> 0:30:12.680
<v Speaker 1>I did not know.

0:30:12.800 --> 0:30:14.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, no, it's this is a discussion for

0:30:14.920 --> 0:30:18.760
<v Speaker 2>another day. And my one concern I can't miss nipple.

0:30:22.640 --> 0:30:23.520
<v Speaker 1>What do we know day.

0:30:23.640 --> 0:30:26.240
<v Speaker 2>I've spoke to so many people. I'm like, maybe I

0:30:26.280 --> 0:30:28.400
<v Speaker 2>could just bring him and set him up with some

0:30:28.440 --> 0:30:30.680
<v Speaker 2>things to do and he can just watch and sit there.

0:30:30.880 --> 0:30:34.120
<v Speaker 2>And every single person has been like, are you serious?

0:30:34.520 --> 0:30:35.880
<v Speaker 1>I actually think that's a good idea.

0:30:36.480 --> 0:30:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Why wouldn't he other kids sit there.

0:30:39.040 --> 0:30:42.320
<v Speaker 1>I remember going to like my uncle's basketball games as

0:30:42.360 --> 0:30:44.600
<v Speaker 1>a kid to watch him, like play basketball and stuff.

0:30:44.720 --> 0:30:46.400
<v Speaker 2>I don't think he'll watched, but I'll set him up

0:30:46.400 --> 0:30:50.239
<v Speaker 2>with an iPad, snacks, toy cars. It'll be fine, and

0:30:50.760 --> 0:30:53.720
<v Speaker 2>hoping that he'll just watch me. We'll sit there. Yeah,

0:30:53.760 --> 0:30:56.120
<v Speaker 2>I'll be able to see him. Obviously, I reckon they're.

0:30:55.920 --> 0:30:57.960
<v Speaker 1>A little bit more resilient than what people think. I

0:30:58.000 --> 0:30:58.680
<v Speaker 1>think that's fine.

0:30:58.680 --> 0:31:01.560
<v Speaker 2>I guess you don't think I'm actually being We're the optimism. No, okay,

0:31:01.760 --> 0:31:02.200
<v Speaker 2>right away.

0:31:02.640 --> 0:31:05.120
<v Speaker 1>That's like you want to do your netdie. You found

0:31:05.120 --> 0:31:06.400
<v Speaker 1>a solution, and I reckon it's.

0:31:06.480 --> 0:31:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Nettie is the most important.

0:31:09.240 --> 0:31:09.640
<v Speaker 1>Anyway.

0:31:09.720 --> 0:31:11.240
<v Speaker 2>I do think that it is getting better, so I

0:31:11.280 --> 0:31:13.520
<v Speaker 2>will agree with you on that. And a sign is

0:31:13.520 --> 0:31:16.360
<v Speaker 2>that I even wanted to do this episode because last

0:31:16.440 --> 0:31:18.880
<v Speaker 2>year I didn't even want to acknowledge that it was

0:31:18.920 --> 0:31:19.560
<v Speaker 2>his birthday.

0:31:19.920 --> 0:31:22.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I didn't we say much in the clouds.

0:31:22.480 --> 0:31:25.040
<v Speaker 2>It was like it wasn't a thing obviously said to him,

0:31:25.200 --> 0:31:25.960
<v Speaker 2>it's your birthday.

0:31:26.000 --> 0:31:28.400
<v Speaker 1>But as you were saying all that stuff, like I

0:31:28.440 --> 0:31:31.840
<v Speaker 1>totally get it. I have so much weird feelings around

0:31:31.840 --> 0:31:35.280
<v Speaker 1>my birthday, and if there's any trauma associated to something,

0:31:35.720 --> 0:31:38.120
<v Speaker 1>you don't want to celebrate it.

0:31:38.320 --> 0:31:40.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but I.

0:31:40.440 --> 0:31:43.520
<v Speaker 1>Think seeing him grow and change, you want to celebrate

0:31:43.640 --> 0:31:44.600
<v Speaker 1>the new stuff.

0:31:44.960 --> 0:31:48.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. And it also helps as he gets older because

0:31:48.120 --> 0:31:51.840
<v Speaker 2>now he's so excited. Yeah, he keeps saying I'm three

0:31:52.000 --> 0:31:55.560
<v Speaker 2>next week, I'm a big boy. And he's really smart

0:31:55.880 --> 0:31:58.680
<v Speaker 2>and he is excited for presence of course in the

0:31:58.760 --> 0:32:02.000
<v Speaker 2>food although so things. I also wanted to give a

0:32:02.040 --> 0:32:05.520
<v Speaker 2>tip because one of my last sessions with my psychologist

0:32:05.640 --> 0:32:08.560
<v Speaker 2>lol was this time last year when we talked about

0:32:08.600 --> 0:32:11.360
<v Speaker 2>all this stuff. Yeah, and I spoke about all the

0:32:11.360 --> 0:32:15.080
<v Speaker 2>grief that I feel around Wednesday. She suggested that I

0:32:15.200 --> 0:32:18.280
<v Speaker 2>do something for me every year on the day. I

0:32:18.360 --> 0:32:20.200
<v Speaker 2>love that, Like, I take it off from work if

0:32:20.240 --> 0:32:23.160
<v Speaker 2>I can, and actually just go and do stuff that's

0:32:23.200 --> 0:32:26.160
<v Speaker 2>just for me, to also celebrate how far I've come

0:32:26.200 --> 0:32:26.640
<v Speaker 2>every year.

0:32:26.920 --> 0:32:27.520
<v Speaker 1>Definitely.

0:32:28.000 --> 0:32:30.040
<v Speaker 2>Now. I didn't last year because I got really busy

0:32:30.040 --> 0:32:33.800
<v Speaker 2>from work. But I am aiming today that this episode

0:32:33.840 --> 0:32:34.320
<v Speaker 2>is going well.

0:32:34.440 --> 0:32:38.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Nice.

0:32:40.800 --> 0:32:43.360
<v Speaker 2>Before we move on to the shitter responses, would you

0:32:43.440 --> 0:32:46.960
<v Speaker 2>like to hear a bit of a poem that I

0:32:46.960 --> 0:32:48.800
<v Speaker 2>wrote for Lenn, Yes, I would.

0:32:48.960 --> 0:32:51.680
<v Speaker 1>It's just the thing Kel loves to do, a sneaky

0:32:51.720 --> 0:32:52.600
<v Speaker 1>script surprise.

0:32:53.160 --> 0:32:55.560
<v Speaker 2>I sent her like the skeleton of the script and

0:32:55.560 --> 0:32:55.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm like.

0:32:55.800 --> 0:32:57.800
<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's a bit small. We're gonna have to beef

0:32:57.800 --> 0:32:58.120
<v Speaker 1>this out.

0:32:58.160 --> 0:33:01.800
<v Speaker 2>And then she's unaware of the secret script that I

0:33:01.840 --> 0:33:03.800
<v Speaker 2>have that has all of the stuff in it, but

0:33:03.840 --> 0:33:06.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to read first. You also then you

0:33:06.400 --> 0:33:08.320
<v Speaker 2>try to call me, and you'll send me a message, Oh,

0:33:08.440 --> 0:33:09.240
<v Speaker 2>just did the script?

0:33:09.480 --> 0:33:10.440
<v Speaker 1>Are you okay? Yeah?

0:33:10.480 --> 0:33:14.320
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, fox sake, yes, I'm fine. Okay. Now

0:33:14.880 --> 0:33:19.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm no author, I'm no Silvia Plath. Oh but here

0:33:19.080 --> 0:33:22.080
<v Speaker 2>is my little ode if you will to learn to

0:33:22.200 --> 0:33:23.800
<v Speaker 2>learn it's so bad.

0:33:23.840 --> 0:33:24.760
<v Speaker 1>But what's a title.

0:33:24.960 --> 0:33:26.440
<v Speaker 2>It's titled three Candles.

0:33:26.600 --> 0:33:30.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I just got a little like wave

0:33:30.320 --> 0:33:32.880
<v Speaker 1>of emotion over me. It's very poetic.

0:33:33.720 --> 0:33:35.040
<v Speaker 2>Well it is a poem, I know.

0:33:35.160 --> 0:33:36.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying, you're really committing.

0:33:36.600 --> 0:33:40.520
<v Speaker 2>To the bit. Three candles now, three tiny flames for

0:33:40.720 --> 0:33:43.920
<v Speaker 2>years that passed but can't remain, a chubby hand, a

0:33:44.040 --> 0:33:48.160
<v Speaker 2>cheeky face, the fleeting pace of time's embrace. Your laughter

0:33:48.360 --> 0:33:51.560
<v Speaker 2>is so loud, so pure, and so sweet. Tiny shoes

0:33:51.600 --> 0:33:55.680
<v Speaker 2>on growing feet, a dimpled grin those big blue eyes,

0:33:55.760 --> 0:33:59.200
<v Speaker 2>A boundless little boy who lights my skies. I watch

0:33:59.240 --> 0:34:01.840
<v Speaker 2>you grow, my heart it feels tight, for time has

0:34:01.880 --> 0:34:05.800
<v Speaker 2>wings and takes its flight. The cot stands empty once

0:34:05.840 --> 0:34:09.640
<v Speaker 2>your nest. The many dummies now take their rest. You run,

0:34:09.680 --> 0:34:12.080
<v Speaker 2>you leap, a blur of glee, high energy in all

0:34:12.120 --> 0:34:15.160
<v Speaker 2>that you see, each laugh, each tumble feels the air

0:34:15.440 --> 0:34:18.880
<v Speaker 2>a little whirlwind everywhere. I hold your hand. Though you

0:34:18.960 --> 0:34:21.320
<v Speaker 2>might not stay, for life will call you far away.

0:34:21.800 --> 0:34:24.799
<v Speaker 2>But even as I grieve the past, the moments here

0:34:24.840 --> 0:34:28.360
<v Speaker 2>are fleeting and fast. I cherish now the in between,

0:34:28.400 --> 0:34:31.319
<v Speaker 2>the fragile thread of what has been. For Though I

0:34:31.360 --> 0:34:34.400
<v Speaker 2>long for time to freeze, your future, is yours to cease.

0:34:35.160 --> 0:34:38.360
<v Speaker 2>Three candles burn, A tender plea to pause this time,

0:34:38.560 --> 0:34:41.200
<v Speaker 2>just you and me. A piece of me will always

0:34:41.280 --> 0:34:44.200
<v Speaker 2>yearn for days that time cannot return. Yet in your

0:34:44.280 --> 0:34:47.200
<v Speaker 2>eyes a spark, I see a gift that life has

0:34:47.239 --> 0:34:50.640
<v Speaker 2>given me. Though time moves on, my love will stay

0:34:50.920 --> 0:34:55.440
<v Speaker 2>forever yours in every way.

0:34:53.960 --> 0:34:58.920
<v Speaker 1>Cows really sweet cry right now you.

0:34:58.960 --> 0:35:00.759
<v Speaker 2>Can save it for Roue his birthday.

0:35:00.920 --> 0:35:04.360
<v Speaker 1>It was really good. I feel like that was really

0:35:04.400 --> 0:35:05.040
<v Speaker 1>good poem.

0:35:05.239 --> 0:35:08.640
<v Speaker 2>Really yes, it's so lame. It's so like rhyme.

0:35:09.880 --> 0:35:14.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't rhyme if I find those poems hard to

0:35:14.600 --> 0:35:15.680
<v Speaker 1>read and relate to.

0:35:15.840 --> 0:35:17.520
<v Speaker 2>I really like a little rhyming.

0:35:18.239 --> 0:35:20.960
<v Speaker 1>I love a rhyme. I think that's beautiful. You need

0:35:21.000 --> 0:35:24.120
<v Speaker 1>to get that printed out and framed for him.

0:35:24.360 --> 0:35:27.839
<v Speaker 2>Oh that's a nice idea. Can you imagine when he's

0:35:27.840 --> 0:35:30.560
<v Speaker 2>a teenage He'll be like, fux sake, especially for every year.

0:35:30.719 --> 0:35:35.640
<v Speaker 2>The next year, I'm like four candles, four candles, twenty

0:35:35.760 --> 0:35:40.440
<v Speaker 2>eight candles. At the end of my life, He's like,

0:35:40.719 --> 0:35:43.840
<v Speaker 2>why not only do I have a letter, an unhinged

0:35:43.920 --> 0:35:46.640
<v Speaker 2>letter from you every year, but I have a really

0:35:46.760 --> 0:35:51.040
<v Speaker 2>badly written poem where you just have to rhyme everything.

0:35:51.600 --> 0:35:54.160
<v Speaker 1>But then imagine if he turned around for your fiftieth

0:35:54.160 --> 0:35:57.120
<v Speaker 1>and was like fifty candles and wrote you a poet?

0:35:57.280 --> 0:35:58.560
<v Speaker 2>Are you writing a movie?

0:35:58.880 --> 0:35:59.560
<v Speaker 1>I think, I am.

0:35:59.760 --> 0:36:02.319
<v Speaker 2>Wow. I'll get this baby out of her all right.

0:36:02.719 --> 0:36:07.480
<v Speaker 2>Moving on to some shitter responses, because I think it's

0:36:07.520 --> 0:36:11.160
<v Speaker 2>important to acknowledge all of the different ways that people feel.

0:36:11.600 --> 0:36:14.520
<v Speaker 2>I haven't included everything, obviously, because there was a lot,

0:36:14.680 --> 0:36:18.719
<v Speaker 2>but we will also pop some more on our socials

0:36:18.880 --> 0:36:21.120
<v Speaker 2>and I just try to choose like a different array

0:36:21.680 --> 0:36:24.760
<v Speaker 2>of responses that articulate different things that we feel.

0:36:24.920 --> 0:36:25.279
<v Speaker 1>Love that.

0:36:25.960 --> 0:36:31.040
<v Speaker 2>So I'm not an experienced mum. Firstly, Okay, I'm like

0:36:31.120 --> 0:36:33.200
<v Speaker 2>not finished the first line, and I'm like, here's some

0:36:33.239 --> 0:36:34.480
<v Speaker 2>feedback that no one asked for.

0:36:34.560 --> 0:36:36.840
<v Speaker 1>I was like experienced. I'm not experienced.

0:36:36.840 --> 0:36:38.839
<v Speaker 2>No one is experienced. I hate that this mum has

0:36:38.880 --> 0:36:42.480
<v Speaker 2>put this because it's like we're literally experienced.

0:36:42.560 --> 0:36:42.600
<v Speaker 1>No.

0:36:43.600 --> 0:36:46.920
<v Speaker 2>I really doubt there are many actually experienced moms with

0:36:47.040 --> 0:36:50.719
<v Speaker 2>like ten kids under a belt. No listen, well, there

0:36:50.719 --> 0:36:54.840
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't be many, no listening to our unhinged rambles. My

0:36:54.880 --> 0:36:57.040
<v Speaker 2>son is only eighteen months, but I feel so mixed

0:36:57.040 --> 0:36:59.560
<v Speaker 2>about his birthday so far. He was a much wanted

0:36:59.600 --> 0:37:03.760
<v Speaker 2>IVF baby, four years of trying, possibly our only child.

0:37:04.200 --> 0:37:08.080
<v Speaker 2>I feel guilt wishing time away, especially during tantrums and

0:37:08.360 --> 0:37:12.080
<v Speaker 2>teething shit sleep times. But I also feel immense sadness

0:37:12.160 --> 0:37:14.880
<v Speaker 2>at him growing and changing from a baby so quickly.

0:37:15.719 --> 0:37:17.480
<v Speaker 2>This is why I think that it must just been

0:37:17.560 --> 0:37:19.719
<v Speaker 2>those first years that people find it so hard when

0:37:19.719 --> 0:37:23.400
<v Speaker 2>they do change so much from a baby. They're a newborn,

0:37:23.400 --> 0:37:24.880
<v Speaker 2>then they're a baby, then they're a toddler.

0:37:25.600 --> 0:37:27.840
<v Speaker 1>I know, but I just don't have those feelings. So

0:37:28.000 --> 0:37:31.160
<v Speaker 1>I just think I'm so excited for her to get older.

0:37:31.600 --> 0:37:33.680
<v Speaker 2>I wonder if some of it has to do with

0:37:33.760 --> 0:37:35.440
<v Speaker 2>you knowing that you're giving her a sibling and it

0:37:35.480 --> 0:37:36.520
<v Speaker 2>wasn't your only one.

0:37:36.880 --> 0:37:39.160
<v Speaker 1>I think so, because that's the commonality between you and

0:37:39.200 --> 0:37:40.160
<v Speaker 1>the shitter, right.

0:37:40.320 --> 0:37:42.160
<v Speaker 2>There was a lot of commonality if they were one

0:37:42.239 --> 0:37:43.960
<v Speaker 2>and done or if it was their last baby.

0:37:44.600 --> 0:37:47.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. See, then I can understand that because I've read

0:37:47.480 --> 0:37:50.120
<v Speaker 1>that a lot with like last pregnancies, you know, like

0:37:50.200 --> 0:37:52.000
<v Speaker 1>knowing this is going to be your last pregnancy and

0:37:52.160 --> 0:37:56.439
<v Speaker 1>really like being emotional about that. So yeah, I think

0:37:56.440 --> 0:37:58.160
<v Speaker 1>for sure that would have a lot to do with it.

0:37:58.760 --> 0:38:02.760
<v Speaker 2>I cry every year for my every child the night before.

0:38:03.000 --> 0:38:06.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm super sentimental, and I mourn the versions of my babies.

0:38:06.680 --> 0:38:09.680
<v Speaker 2>I take a photo of them sleeping creep alert on

0:38:09.760 --> 0:38:13.280
<v Speaker 2>their last night that age. Isn't that cute? I'm maybe

0:38:13.320 --> 0:38:17.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm also really sentimental. Yeah, so that is something that

0:38:17.080 --> 0:38:19.040
<v Speaker 2>I would do. I kind of love it. I love

0:38:19.080 --> 0:38:20.920
<v Speaker 2>the idea of like a mum creeping in it, like

0:38:21.040 --> 0:38:22.440
<v Speaker 2>for a fourteen year old being.

0:38:22.280 --> 0:38:25.520
<v Speaker 1>Like he this is your last night of being before doom.

0:38:26.160 --> 0:38:29.280
<v Speaker 2>Birthdays are weird. This is another really good point. Birthdays

0:38:29.320 --> 0:38:31.800
<v Speaker 2>are weird when you've had a traumatic birth. A mixture

0:38:31.800 --> 0:38:33.960
<v Speaker 2>of pride for how far you've come, happiness that your

0:38:33.960 --> 0:38:36.320
<v Speaker 2>little one is a year older, but also some sadness

0:38:36.320 --> 0:38:38.759
<v Speaker 2>that you're surrounded by people celebrating and no one is

0:38:38.800 --> 0:38:41.440
<v Speaker 2>acknowledging that this is also the anniversary of one of

0:38:41.440 --> 0:38:42.760
<v Speaker 2>the hardest days of your life.

0:38:43.000 --> 0:38:45.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's such a good point, such a good point.

0:38:46.160 --> 0:38:48.880
<v Speaker 2>So this mom she talks about like everything that she

0:38:49.040 --> 0:38:52.000
<v Speaker 2>does in the prep and then she says, all you

0:38:52.040 --> 0:38:54.040
<v Speaker 2>do is prep and it's such a busy day. Then

0:38:54.080 --> 0:38:56.200
<v Speaker 2>you sit down at like nine pm and it hits you.

0:38:56.239 --> 0:38:59.360
<v Speaker 2>The memories flood back, their first smile, the year that's gone,

0:38:59.400 --> 0:39:01.520
<v Speaker 2>the hard time that don't seem that hard anymore they

0:39:01.560 --> 0:39:04.000
<v Speaker 2>definitely were, and the good time seems so much better.

0:39:04.520 --> 0:39:07.040
<v Speaker 2>You reflect on yourself and you feel good and horrible

0:39:07.040 --> 0:39:10.239
<v Speaker 2>at the same time for various reasons, and someone asks, oh,

0:39:10.320 --> 0:39:12.480
<v Speaker 2>how are you or what are your thoughts? And there

0:39:12.560 --> 0:39:15.120
<v Speaker 2>is no way to verbalize every single feeling that you have,

0:39:15.160 --> 0:39:17.319
<v Speaker 2>so you just say, oh, it's their birthday. It's just

0:39:17.360 --> 0:39:19.560
<v Speaker 2>been a big day, and inside you're just trying to

0:39:19.560 --> 0:39:22.120
<v Speaker 2>process everything. Wow.

0:39:22.239 --> 0:39:24.800
<v Speaker 1>I never realized that this was such a thing for people.

0:39:24.840 --> 0:39:27.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, it is such a thing. Like I

0:39:27.560 --> 0:39:30.680
<v Speaker 2>just I feel like you are an exception. There was

0:39:31.000 --> 0:39:33.839
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people. I would say seventy five to

0:39:33.880 --> 0:39:37.359
<v Speaker 2>eighty percent of the respondents had lots of feelings about it,

0:39:37.520 --> 0:39:39.399
<v Speaker 2>and then so twenty five ish.

0:39:39.600 --> 0:39:42.640
<v Speaker 1>I wonder if that will change, like as they get older.

0:39:42.960 --> 0:39:45.440
<v Speaker 1>I think for me, I'm one thing that I'm thinking

0:39:45.640 --> 0:39:48.120
<v Speaker 1>that is going to be really hard is like school.

0:39:48.360 --> 0:39:50.239
<v Speaker 1>When they start school, I feel like that's going to

0:39:50.239 --> 0:39:51.800
<v Speaker 1>be a really big emotional.

0:39:51.320 --> 0:39:53.719
<v Speaker 2>Shaker, the idea of like sending them off into the

0:39:53.719 --> 0:39:54.479
<v Speaker 2>big wide world.

0:39:54.640 --> 0:39:58.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but it's just so interesting having this perspective. I

0:39:58.000 --> 0:39:59.480
<v Speaker 1>feel silly not realizing that that.

0:40:00.080 --> 0:40:03.240
<v Speaker 2>Why would you thought if it wasn't your experience. Guess

0:40:04.680 --> 0:40:06.960
<v Speaker 2>I feel happy, But then there's this other part of

0:40:07.000 --> 0:40:10.040
<v Speaker 2>me that's really sad and angry. Sad because time is

0:40:10.080 --> 0:40:12.600
<v Speaker 2>a thief and it feels like only yesterday pushed her

0:40:12.640 --> 0:40:15.120
<v Speaker 2>out of my huha. I couldn't believe we'd already made

0:40:15.160 --> 0:40:17.680
<v Speaker 2>it past the twelvemonth mark. I can only imagine how

0:40:17.719 --> 0:40:19.880
<v Speaker 2>fast her little life is going to go from here,

0:40:20.120 --> 0:40:22.560
<v Speaker 2>and it devastates me that I can't hit pause and

0:40:22.600 --> 0:40:25.440
<v Speaker 2>soak up every little second, which leads me to why

0:40:25.480 --> 0:40:29.040
<v Speaker 2>I feel anger. I hate the social constructs of how

0:40:29.080 --> 0:40:32.319
<v Speaker 2>society has essentially forced mothers to have to go back

0:40:32.360 --> 0:40:35.400
<v Speaker 2>to work. We always knew when she turned one it

0:40:35.480 --> 0:40:37.239
<v Speaker 2>was a sign of the end of my maternity leave,

0:40:37.320 --> 0:40:39.200
<v Speaker 2>and now that it's here, I can't help but feel

0:40:39.239 --> 0:40:41.239
<v Speaker 2>so angry that I can't choose to be a stay

0:40:41.280 --> 0:40:43.600
<v Speaker 2>at home mum and raise my child that I chose

0:40:43.640 --> 0:40:46.160
<v Speaker 2>to have. Instead, I have to palmer off to family

0:40:46.160 --> 0:40:48.720
<v Speaker 2>members or daycare while I go to earn more money

0:40:48.840 --> 0:40:51.160
<v Speaker 2>because it's impossible in twenty twenty five to live off

0:40:51.200 --> 0:40:54.879
<v Speaker 2>one income per household. Yeah that was also a really

0:40:54.960 --> 0:40:55.520
<v Speaker 2>valid point.

0:40:55.600 --> 0:40:56.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah helps.

0:40:57.960 --> 0:41:00.279
<v Speaker 2>I get really sad that she's getting old and I

0:41:00.280 --> 0:41:02.520
<v Speaker 2>want it to stop. I also can't believe that it's

0:41:02.520 --> 0:41:05.040
<v Speaker 2>been that long since she was born, and stress I've

0:41:05.040 --> 0:41:07.040
<v Speaker 2>missed too many moments, and then worry I haven't loved

0:41:07.040 --> 0:41:08.640
<v Speaker 2>her enough and I want to go back and do

0:41:08.680 --> 0:41:10.600
<v Speaker 2>it again, and then hug her tight and never let

0:41:10.680 --> 0:41:14.239
<v Speaker 2>her go. I feel things about how he's growing and

0:41:14.280 --> 0:41:17.840
<v Speaker 2>maybe I wasted His baby is riddled with anxiety trying

0:41:17.880 --> 0:41:20.000
<v Speaker 2>now for baby number two, but coming to terms that

0:41:20.040 --> 0:41:22.520
<v Speaker 2>it might not happen, and then I really did waste

0:41:22.560 --> 0:41:26.000
<v Speaker 2>the baby time. This is yes, but on the flip side,

0:41:26.000 --> 0:41:28.440
<v Speaker 2>those feelings are forcing me to slow down and embrace

0:41:28.440 --> 0:41:30.719
<v Speaker 2>the todd The time being away from family in a

0:41:30.760 --> 0:41:33.040
<v Speaker 2>new city without a close circle means I feel sad

0:41:33.040 --> 0:41:35.280
<v Speaker 2>that he won't have a giant party that he deserves

0:41:35.280 --> 0:41:38.759
<v Speaker 2>on his third birthday, so I'll probably just overcompensate with

0:41:38.800 --> 0:41:42.160
<v Speaker 2>too many presents. I play Stevie Wonder's Happy Birthday and

0:41:42.200 --> 0:41:44.440
<v Speaker 2>Google Home when I go into his room on his birthday,

0:41:44.840 --> 0:41:48.240
<v Speaker 2>which makes me superterio as we dance around, just remembering

0:41:48.280 --> 0:41:50.680
<v Speaker 2>all the times before and how much he has grown.

0:41:51.080 --> 0:41:53.520
<v Speaker 2>It's so very beautiful to see him change and grow,

0:41:53.719 --> 0:41:56.200
<v Speaker 2>but also immensely sad as I think of him as

0:41:56.200 --> 0:41:58.640
<v Speaker 2>my little baby. Two things can be true at once.

0:41:59.040 --> 0:42:00.799
<v Speaker 2>I try to make his birth as fun and happy

0:42:00.840 --> 0:42:03.680
<v Speaker 2>as possible. This year, he's choosing the theme Poor Patrol

0:42:04.000 --> 0:42:05.640
<v Speaker 2>and the cake he wants me to bake for him.

0:42:05.880 --> 0:42:08.120
<v Speaker 2>Seeing his little face light up as I came out

0:42:08.120 --> 0:42:11.440
<v Speaker 2>with the candles really hit me in the feels. I

0:42:11.480 --> 0:42:13.840
<v Speaker 2>know I'm probably alone in this and It could probably

0:42:13.880 --> 0:42:15.959
<v Speaker 2>just be my mental health, but I feel a weird

0:42:16.000 --> 0:42:19.480
<v Speaker 2>sense of guilt. Only way I can describe it is like, Oh,

0:42:19.760 --> 0:42:22.160
<v Speaker 2>they're X years old now, and I wasted that year.

0:42:22.239 --> 0:42:25.200
<v Speaker 2>I should have done more age appropriate activities with them.

0:42:25.360 --> 0:42:28.359
<v Speaker 2>I wasted it. They missed out. It's really awful because

0:42:28.400 --> 0:42:30.200
<v Speaker 2>I want to be more like, Oh, wow, look how

0:42:30.200 --> 0:42:33.040
<v Speaker 2>far we have come. We're so much wiser. We're both are.

0:42:33.719 --> 0:42:35.360
<v Speaker 2>For context, I have a fifteen year old and a

0:42:35.400 --> 0:42:35.959
<v Speaker 2>one year old.

0:42:36.880 --> 0:42:38.480
<v Speaker 1>This is so interesting.

0:42:38.560 --> 0:42:41.319
<v Speaker 2>I wonder if it's like, are you sentimental?

0:42:41.920 --> 0:42:45.000
<v Speaker 1>I am, but I just feel like my level of

0:42:45.760 --> 0:42:47.760
<v Speaker 1>like I wonder if it has to do with how

0:42:48.480 --> 0:42:51.040
<v Speaker 1>low the bar was for me, But do you know

0:42:51.080 --> 0:42:53.200
<v Speaker 1>what I mean? Like for me, I just feel like

0:42:54.120 --> 0:42:56.000
<v Speaker 1>the hardest part about being pregnant is that I feel

0:42:56.040 --> 0:42:57.239
<v Speaker 1>like I've been a bit of a ship mum and

0:42:57.280 --> 0:42:59.200
<v Speaker 1>because I've been grumpy and not had any kind of

0:42:59.520 --> 0:43:03.440
<v Speaker 1>extra mph to give right But overall, I'm just like

0:43:03.480 --> 0:43:06.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm fucking killing it because I think the bar is

0:43:06.280 --> 0:43:08.680
<v Speaker 1>so low. I feel like, when I'm listening to all

0:43:08.680 --> 0:43:12.120
<v Speaker 1>these people, what is the expectation that you're working to? Like,

0:43:12.200 --> 0:43:14.520
<v Speaker 1>what are you thinking that you need to be doing like.

0:43:14.760 --> 0:43:17.200
<v Speaker 2>I think it's pressured that everyone's putting them on themselves,

0:43:17.320 --> 0:43:21.440
<v Speaker 2>or that we feel lost inside or I.

0:43:21.400 --> 0:43:23.880
<v Speaker 1>Know, I think that is just crazy, Like, well, you

0:43:23.920 --> 0:43:25.960
<v Speaker 1>can't tell people that the way they feel it. No, no, no,

0:43:27.200 --> 0:43:29.440
<v Speaker 1>I want to shake them and be like, you are

0:43:29.520 --> 0:43:31.960
<v Speaker 1>doing it. You don't need to be so hard on yourself.

0:43:32.040 --> 0:43:34.239
<v Speaker 1>Like seeing his little face light up when you brought

0:43:34.280 --> 0:43:36.600
<v Speaker 1>out the cake with the candles. You did that, You

0:43:36.640 --> 0:43:41.120
<v Speaker 1>created that moment and that memory for them. That is huge. Yeah,

0:43:41.160 --> 0:43:44.680
<v Speaker 1>and I'm doing more activities throughout the year. You did

0:43:44.719 --> 0:43:45.439
<v Speaker 1>what you could do.

0:43:46.400 --> 0:43:49.040
<v Speaker 2>That's really good advice. You did what you could do. Yeah,

0:43:49.120 --> 0:43:50.040
<v Speaker 2>I like that advice.

0:43:50.560 --> 0:43:52.440
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I'm the wrong person for this episode

0:43:52.480 --> 0:43:54.799
<v Speaker 1>because I'm just like all of you are amazing and

0:43:54.840 --> 0:43:55.799
<v Speaker 1>you better believe it now.

0:43:55.840 --> 0:43:58.680
<v Speaker 2>No, that's what people need to feel. Okay that I

0:43:58.800 --> 0:44:00.640
<v Speaker 2>want to read it, and then the rest I'll put

0:44:00.680 --> 0:44:03.200
<v Speaker 2>on socials or what on. I have all of the

0:44:03.200 --> 0:44:06.760
<v Speaker 2>feelings all at once. Parenting feels like I'm constantly adjusting

0:44:06.800 --> 0:44:09.120
<v Speaker 2>to new normals, letting go of the old, embracing the you.

0:44:09.480 --> 0:44:12.319
<v Speaker 2>There's better and worse things with every age. Parenting can

0:44:12.360 --> 0:44:14.319
<v Speaker 2>force you to be more resilient with change. I thought

0:44:14.320 --> 0:44:18.760
<v Speaker 2>that was really yeah, yeah, I like that. I feel

0:44:18.760 --> 0:44:23.279
<v Speaker 2>proud I have a little gal. She's five, with disabilities,

0:44:23.560 --> 0:44:25.840
<v Speaker 2>and every year I compile a video of all of

0:44:25.880 --> 0:44:27.839
<v Speaker 2>our favorite moments over the year, and I can see

0:44:27.840 --> 0:44:32.640
<v Speaker 2>her progress, which is much nicer than the annual NDIS appointments,

0:44:32.680 --> 0:44:35.200
<v Speaker 2>which I have to say, how she isn't reaching any

0:44:35.200 --> 0:44:38.680
<v Speaker 2>of her peers, and how challenging my life is. Oh god,

0:44:38.920 --> 0:44:41.239
<v Speaker 2>I do feel sad for the little baby that she

0:44:41.360 --> 0:44:43.839
<v Speaker 2>once was before I knew how hard our life would be.

0:44:44.400 --> 0:44:46.799
<v Speaker 2>And I feel happy because she loves the shit out

0:44:46.800 --> 0:44:49.439
<v Speaker 2>of her birthday and I write her a letter every

0:44:49.480 --> 0:44:50.280
<v Speaker 2>year for her birthday.

0:44:50.880 --> 0:44:55.640
<v Speaker 1>That is really sweet. I feel like also that perspective

0:44:55.760 --> 0:44:59.400
<v Speaker 1>right when you've been through something hard, it gives you

0:44:59.480 --> 0:45:01.600
<v Speaker 1>perspective and it gives you a little bit of like

0:45:01.840 --> 0:45:03.360
<v Speaker 1>room to feel.

0:45:03.560 --> 0:45:07.680
<v Speaker 2>Breathe and to feel that you're nailing it killing But.

0:45:07.680 --> 0:45:10.200
<v Speaker 1>Not everyone has that perspective, and they have really high

0:45:10.719 --> 0:45:12.560
<v Speaker 1>standards that they're holding themselves to.

0:45:13.040 --> 0:45:14.479
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and no one else is.

0:45:14.520 --> 0:45:16.919
<v Speaker 1>And no one else is. I guarantee any of these

0:45:17.000 --> 0:45:18.240
<v Speaker 1>shitters that have written in.

0:45:18.160 --> 0:45:21.640
<v Speaker 2>Their partners, their friends, friends, parents, they would all be

0:45:21.719 --> 0:45:25.320
<v Speaker 2>saying that they're doing absolute still a job. I also

0:45:25.440 --> 0:45:27.959
<v Speaker 2>think a really good piece of advice that I once

0:45:28.040 --> 0:45:32.520
<v Speaker 2>heard is if you think that you're doing a bad job,

0:45:32.960 --> 0:45:36.080
<v Speaker 2>or you worry that you're doing a bad job, you're

0:45:36.080 --> 0:45:39.560
<v Speaker 2>a good parent. Because a bad parent wouldn't even.

0:45:39.440 --> 0:45:41.359
<v Speaker 1>Worry, it, wouldn't give two shits.

0:45:41.200 --> 0:45:43.319
<v Speaker 2>Or even think to think such a thing.

0:45:43.440 --> 0:45:45.000
<v Speaker 1>No, they would definitely think they're killing it.

0:45:45.040 --> 0:45:48.760
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, they would just like have middle aged white

0:45:48.760 --> 0:45:52.160
<v Speaker 2>man confidence and be like, I'm slaying this. You absolutely not.

0:45:52.440 --> 0:45:53.879
<v Speaker 1>No, it shows how much you care.

0:45:54.120 --> 0:45:59.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, anyway, that's all I'll say about the birthday.

0:45:59.040 --> 0:46:03.280
<v Speaker 1>But well, I wanted to say that I'm particularly blown

0:46:03.280 --> 0:46:05.839
<v Speaker 1>away by just how much you love Lynn, how much

0:46:05.880 --> 0:46:09.480
<v Speaker 1>of a good mum you are. So happy third birthday

0:46:09.760 --> 0:46:10.160
<v Speaker 1>to your.

0:46:10.040 --> 0:46:11.879
<v Speaker 2>Womb whatever you would call it.

0:46:11.880 --> 0:46:15.640
<v Speaker 1>It was tough, but I feel like every year gets

0:46:15.680 --> 0:46:18.840
<v Speaker 1>better and better. It does, and he's the happiest boy.

0:46:19.120 --> 0:46:21.120
<v Speaker 2>Like, well, at the moment, we're going through some feelings,

0:46:21.120 --> 0:46:21.600
<v Speaker 2>but yes.

0:46:22.360 --> 0:46:24.960
<v Speaker 1>Feelings are feelings, feeling, they're all little shit at the

0:46:25.040 --> 0:46:34.200
<v Speaker 1>end of the day, but he's happy. Recommendations, Yeah, I

0:46:34.239 --> 0:46:35.360
<v Speaker 1>do have one this week.

0:46:35.760 --> 0:46:36.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh why are you?

0:46:37.600 --> 0:46:40.759
<v Speaker 1>Because I feel like you might give me shit for it. Oh,

0:46:40.880 --> 0:46:43.000
<v Speaker 1>I've not watched it, so I've got a good So

0:46:43.080 --> 0:46:44.640
<v Speaker 1>I realized I am a little bit late to this,

0:46:44.719 --> 0:46:46.839
<v Speaker 1>but I know I'm a bit daggy, right, Like I've

0:46:46.840 --> 0:46:50.120
<v Speaker 1>rewatched Friends that many times the series. But for me,

0:46:51.680 --> 0:46:54.120
<v Speaker 1>it's really good, comforting, like it's just something you can

0:46:54.200 --> 0:46:56.400
<v Speaker 1>put on. I know it's a little bit problematic. It

0:46:56.400 --> 0:46:59.400
<v Speaker 1>has an age very well, but there's just something really

0:46:59.560 --> 0:47:01.880
<v Speaker 1>like warming about it and you just feel like it's

0:47:01.880 --> 0:47:06.239
<v Speaker 1>a warm hug slightly different TV show, but Veep has

0:47:06.360 --> 0:47:08.040
<v Speaker 1>kind of filled that void for me.

0:47:09.040 --> 0:47:13.880
<v Speaker 2>Politics is about people. Politics is about people.

0:47:13.920 --> 0:47:16.239
<v Speaker 1>I've met some people, Okay, real people, and I gotta

0:47:16.239 --> 0:47:17.120
<v Speaker 1>tell you a lot of them.

0:47:17.480 --> 0:47:20.560
<v Speaker 2>Medi It's I remember, I always want to tort you.

0:47:20.640 --> 0:47:24.359
<v Speaker 2>It's about Mara Juanna. Correct, No, what sure am I

0:47:24.480 --> 0:47:25.000
<v Speaker 2>thinking of?

0:47:25.480 --> 0:47:28.640
<v Speaker 1>Julia Louis Dreyfuss. So the chick from Seinfeld's done a

0:47:28.680 --> 0:47:31.920
<v Speaker 1>bunch of other great roles, obviously, but she is the

0:47:32.280 --> 0:47:34.200
<v Speaker 1>vice President of America.

0:47:34.400 --> 0:47:35.840
<v Speaker 2>It was actually called Weeds.

0:47:36.000 --> 0:47:39.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Weeds. Yeah, that is actually I think a good show.

0:47:39.120 --> 0:47:42.640
<v Speaker 1>I never watched it either, but it's just really funny

0:47:42.680 --> 0:47:45.680
<v Speaker 1>and I think she's outstanding and she won a bunch

0:47:45.680 --> 0:47:48.560
<v Speaker 1>of like Emmys for this role. Anything that she's on,

0:47:48.600 --> 0:47:51.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's guaranteed to be good because obviously she

0:47:51.280 --> 0:47:53.440
<v Speaker 1>takes a lot of time to read scripts and commit

0:47:53.480 --> 0:47:57.600
<v Speaker 1>to something. But it's just so funny. It's obviously based

0:47:57.640 --> 0:48:02.120
<v Speaker 1>around politics in the US, but it's just interesting and

0:48:02.680 --> 0:48:05.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, they just the writing is so clever,

0:48:06.400 --> 0:48:10.279
<v Speaker 1>and the personalities in it are just so heightened and

0:48:10.400 --> 0:48:14.799
<v Speaker 1>ridiculous and funny and over the top. It's great. We

0:48:14.840 --> 0:48:15.640
<v Speaker 1>watch it every night.

0:48:15.840 --> 0:48:19.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, an episode discovering more of a retro

0:48:19.520 --> 0:48:21.480
<v Speaker 2>TV show because then you've got so many seasons.

0:48:21.600 --> 0:48:24.239
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and it's just it doesn't take itself too seriously.

0:48:24.760 --> 0:48:26.880
<v Speaker 2>How long do the episodes go for? Oh like twenty

0:48:26.920 --> 0:48:30.640
<v Speaker 2>twenty literally, like a friend's like a totally yeah, so good.

0:48:30.680 --> 0:48:35.160
<v Speaker 1>It's a perfect little it's on Binge and we've just

0:48:35.200 --> 0:48:37.560
<v Speaker 1>been loving it. And there's a few seasons as well.

0:48:37.600 --> 0:48:41.920
<v Speaker 1>It's just so funny because it's just obviously like taking

0:48:42.200 --> 0:48:45.440
<v Speaker 1>the piss out of politics and like what politicians do

0:48:45.600 --> 0:48:48.759
<v Speaker 1>and so, but it's also behind the curtain, so you

0:48:48.840 --> 0:48:49.279
<v Speaker 1>like see that.

0:48:49.480 --> 0:48:53.319
<v Speaker 2>It's interesting. It's just always really like scandal, the BTS

0:48:53.320 --> 0:48:54.880
<v Speaker 2>is Yeah, but that's a drama.

0:48:55.040 --> 0:48:59.719
<v Speaker 1>That's a drama. This is very much comedy satire, highly recommend.

0:49:00.360 --> 0:49:03.200
<v Speaker 1>Just feels a little void that Friends is. I can't

0:49:03.239 --> 0:49:05.239
<v Speaker 1>watch Friends for like a twentieth time. I mean I can,

0:49:05.280 --> 0:49:07.400
<v Speaker 1>and I will, but we need to watch something else.

0:49:07.520 --> 0:49:08.960
<v Speaker 2>To introduce it to rue at some point.

0:49:09.840 --> 0:49:10.400
<v Speaker 1>What's yours?

0:49:10.640 --> 0:49:13.680
<v Speaker 2>I have two? First? One is the best book I've

0:49:13.719 --> 0:49:16.799
<v Speaker 2>read so far this year. Okay, I know it's January.

0:49:17.080 --> 0:49:20.480
<v Speaker 2>It's called Wedding People. Oh my god. I've been seeing

0:49:20.520 --> 0:49:21.600
<v Speaker 2>it a lot, like I think it's a lot of

0:49:21.640 --> 0:49:24.279
<v Speaker 2>people's book club books at the That's why I've seen it.

0:49:24.360 --> 0:49:24.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:49:24.520 --> 0:49:27.080
<v Speaker 2>I saw someone from the Shameless podcast posted about it

0:49:27.160 --> 0:49:29.719
<v Speaker 2>like it's blowing up at the moment. I think it

0:49:29.760 --> 0:49:32.160
<v Speaker 2>was a huge book. It came out halfway through last year.

0:49:33.160 --> 0:49:36.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't usually like what I would call chick lit

0:49:36.719 --> 0:49:39.919
<v Speaker 2>eat oh I do, but it's actually not chick lit

0:49:39.960 --> 0:49:42.920
<v Speaker 2>like it is. It's like a holiday read, but it's

0:49:42.920 --> 0:49:47.759
<v Speaker 2>got quite dark themes. Okay, but it's written in a

0:49:47.800 --> 0:49:51.799
<v Speaker 2>way that is just so beautiful. Have you ever read

0:49:51.800 --> 0:49:56.800
<v Speaker 2>any of Matt Haiges's books. No, He writes The Midnight Library,

0:49:56.920 --> 0:50:00.319
<v Speaker 2>The Life Impossible Reasons to live like, it's a lot

0:50:00.360 --> 0:50:03.320
<v Speaker 2>about mental health. And he's a beautiful writer. It's almost

0:50:03.320 --> 0:50:06.320
<v Speaker 2>like Matt Hagu wrote a chick lit novel. Oh wow,

0:50:06.840 --> 0:50:09.960
<v Speaker 2>Like it's so good. Yeah, I can't even tell you

0:50:10.000 --> 0:50:12.160
<v Speaker 2>how good it was. Every single person in the entire

0:50:12.160 --> 0:50:15.319
<v Speaker 2>world could read this and enjoy it. I think, Okay,

0:50:15.400 --> 0:50:17.040
<v Speaker 2>I just loved it. I'll put it on my list

0:50:17.040 --> 0:50:20.240
<v Speaker 2>for post baby. Yeah, and I'm like through the birthing books.

0:50:20.480 --> 0:50:22.120
<v Speaker 2>I read it on my Kindle. I think you could

0:50:22.120 --> 0:50:24.279
<v Speaker 2>even listen to it, and it would be a nice

0:50:24.280 --> 0:50:26.160
<v Speaker 2>one to listen to because it's so light, like it's

0:50:26.160 --> 0:50:28.520
<v Speaker 2>not deep enough that there's different characters that you sort

0:50:28.520 --> 0:50:29.560
<v Speaker 2>of need to pay attention to.

0:50:29.840 --> 0:50:30.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah.

0:50:30.760 --> 0:50:34.200
<v Speaker 2>And then a movie that I watched on Amazon Prime,

0:50:34.760 --> 0:50:37.040
<v Speaker 2>Beautiful Boy. It's older twenty eighteen.

0:50:37.440 --> 0:50:41.480
<v Speaker 1>There are moments that I look at him, this kid

0:50:41.480 --> 0:50:45.319
<v Speaker 1>that I raised, who I thought I knew inside and out,

0:50:46.040 --> 0:50:46.920
<v Speaker 1>and I wonder.

0:50:46.760 --> 0:50:50.560
<v Speaker 2>Who he is. It's got Steve Corell and Timothy Chamalay

0:50:50.640 --> 0:50:53.240
<v Speaker 2>in it. How do you pronounce.

0:50:52.840 --> 0:50:57.080
<v Speaker 1>Its shallam may challa may? What did I say, shamalay?

0:50:57.280 --> 0:51:01.440
<v Speaker 1>That's the same thing, Charla may shallow shall I?

0:51:01.440 --> 0:51:03.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't know you know who I'm talking about, Kylie

0:51:04.040 --> 0:51:11.640
<v Speaker 2>Jenner's boyfriend, boyfriend. It's about a dad and his eldest

0:51:11.760 --> 0:51:16.840
<v Speaker 2>son is struggling with drug addiction. Oh wow, my god,

0:51:17.080 --> 0:51:21.400
<v Speaker 2>don't watch it if you're in a sad mood or it's.

0:51:21.440 --> 0:51:24.480
<v Speaker 1>So Both of those actors are really good and end

0:51:24.560 --> 0:51:27.799
<v Speaker 1>that role I can see that will be really believable.

0:51:28.040 --> 0:51:32.480
<v Speaker 2>They are so believable. It is so good, and just

0:51:32.760 --> 0:51:38.360
<v Speaker 2>Steve Correll's portrayal of this dad is just so beautiful

0:51:38.520 --> 0:51:42.000
<v Speaker 2>and so accurate in every way that you can imagine

0:51:42.040 --> 0:51:44.919
<v Speaker 2>you would behave. Oh it's so good.

0:51:45.120 --> 0:51:47.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I'm gonna have to watch this. You've sold it

0:51:47.360 --> 0:51:48.279
<v Speaker 1>to me. I love it.

0:51:48.320 --> 0:51:50.200
<v Speaker 2>And the only reason I even discovered it was one

0:51:50.239 --> 0:51:52.640
<v Speaker 2>day I was looking for where audio that I saw

0:51:52.719 --> 0:51:57.200
<v Speaker 2>trending on TikTok came from, and it was a quote from.

0:51:56.960 --> 0:51:57.719
<v Speaker 1>That Mad movie.

0:51:57.960 --> 0:52:00.000
<v Speaker 2>That's because I was like, why, I've never heard that

0:52:00.120 --> 0:52:02.479
<v Speaker 2>quote come out of Steve Carell's mouth, but I knew

0:52:02.480 --> 0:52:03.400
<v Speaker 2>that it was his voice.

0:52:03.520 --> 0:52:04.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, do you remember the quote?

0:52:05.000 --> 0:52:08.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's by John Lennon, Beautiful Boy, icing it to

0:52:08.480 --> 0:52:11.120
<v Speaker 2>Lenny all the time. As it is, I just changed

0:52:11.160 --> 0:52:14.600
<v Speaker 2>the lyrics to the Monster's gone, your mummy's here instead

0:52:14.600 --> 0:52:18.520
<v Speaker 2>of your daddy's here. Obviously fucking John. But the audio

0:52:18.560 --> 0:52:21.279
<v Speaker 2>it's Steve Corell's voice and he goes, do you know

0:52:21.320 --> 0:52:23.759
<v Speaker 2>how much I love you? And then it moves into

0:52:23.760 --> 0:52:27.160
<v Speaker 2>that song Anyway, It's just a really beautiful piece of

0:52:27.200 --> 0:52:29.520
<v Speaker 2>audio that always used to make me cry. And then

0:52:29.560 --> 0:52:31.399
<v Speaker 2>I like discovered it was from a movie, So highly

0:52:31.400 --> 0:52:33.719
<v Speaker 2>recommend to the film. If you could take all the

0:52:33.760 --> 0:52:38.720
<v Speaker 2>words in the language, it's still would describe.

0:52:38.320 --> 0:52:42.160
<v Speaker 1>On each other. Isn't that interesting How even TikTok trending

0:52:42.200 --> 0:52:44.799
<v Speaker 1>things can like, like I know, it's like makes you

0:52:44.840 --> 0:52:47.840
<v Speaker 1>discover different things, but to make you discover a movie like.

0:52:48.040 --> 0:52:51.560
<v Speaker 2>Random movie from twenty eighteen that I'd never heard of,

0:52:51.640 --> 0:52:54.319
<v Speaker 2>and I probably would have watched it when it came

0:52:54.360 --> 0:52:57.359
<v Speaker 2>out because I'm interested in those themes. I kind of

0:52:57.440 --> 0:53:00.000
<v Speaker 2>like really fucked up shit, Like whenever I was watching

0:53:00.160 --> 0:53:03.879
<v Speaker 2>Euphoria and the character would get sober, I'd be like, oh, boring.

0:53:04.360 --> 0:53:07.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, you want you find the kind of like interesting,

0:53:07.520 --> 0:53:10.320
<v Speaker 1>like the complexities of human experiences.

0:53:10.400 --> 0:53:12.960
<v Speaker 2>And I don't understand addiction at all, so I find

0:53:13.000 --> 0:53:16.840
<v Speaker 2>it a very interesting topic. Yeah, I love that beautiful

0:53:16.840 --> 0:53:19.680
<v Speaker 2>boy Beautiful Boy on Amazon. It's free. It's not one

0:53:19.680 --> 0:53:21.560
<v Speaker 2>of those ones you have to rent for or pay for.

0:53:21.800 --> 0:53:25.040
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, it's really good. Anyway, that's all the time

0:53:25.040 --> 0:53:25.800
<v Speaker 2>we have for today.

0:53:25.880 --> 0:53:27.920
<v Speaker 1>That's it. Thank you so much for tuning in.

0:53:28.080 --> 0:53:30.160
<v Speaker 2>We'll be back next week with something a little bit lighter,

0:53:30.360 --> 0:53:31.800
<v Speaker 2>a bit of a law if you will.

0:53:31.680 --> 0:53:32.279
<v Speaker 1>Which I want to.

0:53:32.680 --> 0:53:34.919
<v Speaker 2>I'm not telling you, Oh, I just have to wait

0:53:34.960 --> 0:53:37.120
<v Speaker 2>and see you. We've already recorded. We had a big

0:53:37.200 --> 0:53:40.160
<v Speaker 2>chuckle recording it. Share the pod on your socials and

0:53:40.239 --> 0:53:43.239
<v Speaker 2>please rate and review us. It really does mean the

0:53:43.320 --> 0:53:45.799
<v Speaker 2>absolute world and it's the easiest way for you to

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<v Speaker 2>support the pod.

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<v Speaker 1>It really is. This episode was produced by myself, Key

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<v Speaker 1>re Cells, and Kelly McCarran, with audio production by the

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<v Speaker 1>wonderful Madeline Joanno.

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<v Speaker 2>Bye Bye