Speaker 1: You're listening to Amma Mia podcast. Mamma Mere acknowledges the
Speaker 1: traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is
Speaker 1: recorded on the midlife woman of Hollywood's imagination lives in
Speaker 1: a windswept beach house or in a chic Brooklyn brownstone,
Speaker 1: maybe a tasteful Hampton style home with a kitchen island
Speaker 1: the size of a pool table, an ape burn, a stove,
Speaker 1: and a butler's pantry out the back. She wears tasteful
Speaker 1: roll necks as she dips in and out of a
Speaker 1: fulfilling career at will, usually something she can work on
Speaker 1: at that home. Billowing with the smell of freshly baked bread,
Speaker 1: she returns from the farmer's market with arms full of
Speaker 1: freshly cut daffodils, and she brunches like she lunches often
Speaker 1: and without ever lowering her eyes to the bottom of
Speaker 1: the bill. Maybe you live like that, More likely you don't.
Speaker 1: There's something we don't like to talk about that matters
Speaker 1: more than almost anything when you're mad money, because it's
Speaker 1: a time of life when choices you weren't even aware
Speaker 1: you were making at twenty and thirty can come home
Speaker 1: and build a stinky nest on your shoulder like a
Speaker 1: squawking raven or a sweary parrot. Chose a career for love,
Speaker 1: not money. Squawk decided to study another few years. Squawk
Speaker 1: saved travel spent. Saved travel spent. Squawk got blindsided by
Speaker 1: the call to care for someone you love. Squawk seduced
Speaker 1: by the free money promise of a shiny new credit card.
Speaker 1: Squawk didn't push for that pay rise because it's not
Speaker 1: what good girls do. Squawk stopped working to be with
Speaker 1: your little kids and put your financial security in the
Speaker 1: hands of someone you thought you could always trust. Squawk Squawk.
Speaker 1: Squawk worked in a caring profession. Squawk. None of those
Speaker 1: non decisions were wrong. The very idea that there are
Speaker 1: years ahead when times will change and it might be
Speaker 1: harder to get a job, earn money, get yourself out
Speaker 1: of a difficult spot seems like science fiction. When you're
Speaker 1: young and happy to toddle a high wire without even
Speaker 1: asking about a safety net. We don't like to talk
Speaker 1: about it because of what happens when you fall. By
Speaker 1: mid we're meant to know what's what, be mature and
Speaker 1: careful and planned. We're supposed to see a clear path
Speaker 1: ahead that promises comfort and choice. But we're not immune,
Speaker 1: no matter what gen Z tell us daily from the
Speaker 1: pressures and problems of an ever more expensive world as
Speaker 1: our perceived value falls. We have mortgages and rent to make.
Speaker 1: We have families of all ages and stages to feed
Speaker 1: and care for. The cost of caring for your parents,
Speaker 1: for yourself when you need it, sales ever higher and
Speaker 1: taps you awake at night as you add and subtract
Speaker 1: and shift in your head. For one parent families, those
Speaker 1: maths get heavier and more complex. You've heard, I'm sure
Speaker 1: about the fifty something women living in their cars, that
Speaker 1: it's the group of us most likely to find themselves
Speaker 1: without a home. Maybe it's closer for you than a
Speaker 1: report on the news. And then also, we're maybe the
Speaker 1: first generation of women to have earned well en mass,
Speaker 1: the first to have serious choice about this phase of
Speaker 1: our lives to build wealth. We need to thank no
Speaker 1: one for our rebellious generation is all over the place
Speaker 1: and at all the extremes, which is for us pretty standard.
Speaker 1: Perhaps the most goal post shifting thing we can do
Speaker 1: right here is to do what our mothers didn't show
Speaker 1: each other as sweary parrots and talk about money, money, money. Hello,
Speaker 1: I am Holly Wainwright and I am Mid Mid Hi
Speaker 1: for Midfamily, Mid Overwhelm. Welcome to our show for gen
Speaker 1: X women who are anything but Mid. And I want
Speaker 1: to say that we get quite a lot of messages
Speaker 1: here at MID from people who don't fall into that
Speaker 1: specific generation but love the conversations we're having here, and
Speaker 1: I want to say to you welcome. Mid is a
Speaker 1: state of mind, friends, as well as a very real
Speaker 1: place as the generation sometimes referred to as the forgotten
Speaker 1: one between the much maligned boomers and millennials. We're always
Speaker 1: happy when we're noticed and people want to sit with us.
Speaker 1: You can sit with us. So take a seat, because
Speaker 1: today we're talking about money with someone who knows as
Speaker 1: well as many that not everyone over thirty or forty
Speaker 1: is rich. Not even everyone who's well known is rich.
Speaker 1: Not even everyone who was in an iconic TV show
Speaker 1: in the Nordies is rich. See where I'm going, Simone
Speaker 1: Jade McKinnon was and is to many Stevie from McLeod's Daughters.
Speaker 1: If You're not for Millie, that show about a family
Speaker 1: of rural women in Australia's telegenic Outback was massive in
Speaker 1: the noughties, and Simone, originally from rural Queensland herself was
Speaker 1: massive along with it.
Speaker 2: I promise I will continue to love you in good
Speaker 2: times and in bad and when I'm old and gray,
Speaker 2: you will still be the honest woman I've ever seen
Speaker 2: in my life.
Speaker 1: She joined fresh from the Baywatch Hawaii cast, with a
Speaker 1: Hollywood sta fiance on her arm and a creative career
Speaker 1: very well established, and then everything changed. Simone and her
Speaker 1: beautiful son Madigan have been living in a caravan and
Speaker 1: then a shed in her family's back paddock for the
Speaker 1: best part of a decade. She's been making Eden's meet
Speaker 1: with care as subsidy on jobs like Jillaroo, and by
Speaker 1: starting her own small business which has ridden the roller
Speaker 1: coaster of COVID many of you all late, I'm sure
Speaker 1: when she decided to step out of a dark time
Speaker 1: and back in front of a camera to go on
Speaker 1: a reality show earlier this year, it was very clearly
Speaker 1: with one goal in mind, the prize money. You'll hear
Speaker 1: how that went, and in our conversation you'll hear what
Speaker 1: it was like to be on one of the biggest
Speaker 1: shows in the world and to get fired for what
Speaker 1: you refuse to do. In Lingerie on a beach, you'll
Speaker 1: hear how she came back from crippling panic attacks during
Speaker 1: a high profile breakup to film wedding scenes for our
Speaker 1: viewing pleasure. And most importantly, you'll hear how she's kept
Speaker 1: moving and dreaming and pushing on as she's been parenting
Speaker 1: her son alone on a very minimal income. Simone is famous,
Speaker 1: but she's not rich, and we often assume those things
Speaker 1: go together. Her story might not be yours, but there's
Speaker 1: plenty of familiar territory here for all of us mids.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Mid's very first conversation about money with Simone
Speaker 1: Jade McKinnon. Simone, everyone assumes that well known people are rich, right,
Speaker 1: You've got to face that's familiar from one of the
Speaker 1: most beloved Australian TV shows of all time. But you've
Speaker 1: been very open about the fact that you're not rich.
Speaker 1: Is it a strange disconnect that people are like, there's
Speaker 1: that famous lady, she must have it all sorted out. Uh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I think a lot of people, not
Speaker 2: just because I'm a single mummy, that I think a
Speaker 2: lot of people think actors in general because they see
Speaker 2: the American actors, so they think Aussie actors are on
Speaker 2: the same pay. We get the same kind of residuals
Speaker 2: that other people maybe in America get, but yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: once you've done and dusted on a show here, there
Speaker 2: is some residuals that trickle feed, But if you haven't
Speaker 2: worked for as long as I haven't worked, then they're
Speaker 2: used up very quickly. And I guess it does shock
Speaker 2: people that we're not like America, that we can't live
Speaker 2: off one show as great as McLeod's was. We just
Speaker 2: don't get paid that much.
Speaker 1: You mean you weren't quite the Friends cast, is what
Speaker 1: you're saying.
Speaker 2: It's not even quos to what those guys got for
Speaker 2: half an hour work. Yeah, no, we're just nothing like that.
Speaker 2: So I think people they assume that it's the same
Speaker 2: as America, but I think they'd be really shocked to
Speaker 2: know what we get paid compared to what they get paid.
Speaker 2: And that's why once you gig ins it ends, Yeah,
Speaker 2: which is.
Speaker 1: Why I mean, actors always very honestly talk about living
Speaker 1: from job to job and that isn't as glamorous as
Speaker 1: it all appears. But I think people still kind of
Speaker 1: imagine that they've got it all sorted out. Tell me
Speaker 1: a bit about what your real life, as I always
Speaker 1: like to call life away from work, Tell me a
Speaker 1: bit about what your real life looks like now.
Speaker 2: My real life now is definitely different to any other lives.
Speaker 2: I feel like I've had lots of lives. There was
Speaker 2: the dancer life, there was an actor life, there's a
Speaker 2: single mum life, and now there's this kind of small
Speaker 2: business life. And the small business life is hard. So
Speaker 2: I'm in a caravan and a shed, and I've been
Speaker 2: in a caravan since twenty sixteen and I was solidly
Speaker 2: in that caravan until end of twenty and nineteen when
Speaker 2: the shed was finally built and wicked kind of spread
Speaker 2: out a little bit.
Speaker 1: And is this on a property? And I know you
Speaker 1: live in northern New well mid northern New South Wales.
Speaker 1: So is your shed in your caravan on a property?
Speaker 2: Yees? So it's on our old family land, which so
Speaker 2: I sold up. I did have. I had enough money
Speaker 2: to buy myself a nice little house. And so when
Speaker 2: Madigan was born, I relocated from South Australia to Coffs
Speaker 2: Harbor to Beanie family. Being a single mum. I knew
Speaker 2: that I needed help, and so it did. Like I
Speaker 2: had a nice house back then because of thanks to
Speaker 2: McLeod's for the years of work I put that into there.
Speaker 2: But I realized after six years in that house that
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to be able to stay. So that's
Speaker 2: why I sold up. And I wanted to do this
Speaker 2: bucket list dream, which was the round Oz run the lab.
Speaker 1: So you and your son together doing like around Australia
Speaker 1: sort of odyssey in your caravan.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, well I didn't. I wasn't in the acting world.
Speaker 2: You know. I thought I was nailing it as a
Speaker 2: single mum, loving it. Madigan was about to start school
Speaker 2: and I was like, this is the perfect time to
Speaker 2: do it. I'll sell up. I didn't need that big
Speaker 2: house that I had. I realized that wasn't it for me.
Speaker 2: I would rather the adventure than the things. It was
Speaker 2: great for that first six years, you know, a great
Speaker 2: home base. Madigan's first memories were in this amazing old
Speaker 2: Queenslander and you know it was lovely.
Speaker 1: You've always leant towards adventure a bit and travel.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. My parents traveled with me from I
Speaker 2: was two and a half. So I was born in
Speaker 2: Mount Isa, my sister was born, and then when she
Speaker 2: was six months, I was two and a half, they
Speaker 2: hit the road in a little tiny caravan. So my
Speaker 2: first memories I don't remember Mount Isa, but my first
Speaker 2: memories were in a van. Sorry it's two and a
Speaker 2: half years. So by the time I went into kindy,
Speaker 2: that's when we stopped. So I always say that it
Speaker 2: was those guys that put the sort of gypsy. They
Speaker 2: gave me the wanderlus. It just has been that way.
Speaker 2: And then I went into two different careers, you know,
Speaker 2: my dancing career. That again you're just on the move.
Speaker 2: I was out of home at sixteen.
Speaker 1: You were a ballet dancer, is that right?
Speaker 2: I was, So I auditioned and then I actually ran
Speaker 2: away kind of from the ballets to the Gold Coast.
Speaker 2: But I was still under eighteen at that point, so
Speaker 2: my mum and dad came and took me and brought
Speaker 2: me back home to Coughs. And you know, I wasn't eighteen,
Speaker 2: so I wasn't allowed to do anything until then anyway,
Speaker 2: so I had to sit around. But in that time,
Speaker 2: dance Encore gets a hold of me and says, guess
Speaker 2: what we would love to have you. We know you're
Speaker 2: not turning eighteen till March, but we can put you
Speaker 2: in rehearsals in February and the beginning of March, and
Speaker 2: you can be on a plane to Japan the day
Speaker 2: after your eighteenth birthday.
Speaker 1: The adventure begins, I know.
Speaker 2: But then I had to convince Mom and Dad are like, come,
Speaker 2: this is it? Like, because I was still that means
Speaker 2: I was going to be seventeen in Sydney while myself
Speaker 2: and I'd just run away, you know, up the coast.
Speaker 1: Did they let you do it? I assumed they did.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I somehow convinced them that it was what I wanted.
Speaker 2: And you know, I'm not going to ruin a job opportunity.
Speaker 2: It's different. I felt it would be different if I
Speaker 2: was going to be paid, you know, I'd be accountable,
Speaker 2: I'd be responsible. And I was like, I have never worked.
Speaker 2: That company taught me determination and discipline way more than
Speaker 2: the ballet school did. Like, I really learned to work
Speaker 2: my ass off in that company. And I worked for
Speaker 2: them for two years, back and forth to Japan, and
Speaker 2: it was amazing.
Speaker 1: It sounds like an incredible adventure for a young woman.
Speaker 2: It was, and you know, it was not the dancing
Speaker 2: that I had in my head as a kid, but
Speaker 2: it was just it was a great adventure and like
Speaker 2: I said, it just taught me so much. And then
Speaker 2: I came back and then I ended up doing Cats.
Speaker 2: I auditioned for Cats, and then I felt like more
Speaker 2: of a proper dancer. But I loved both just the same.
Speaker 1: Just thinking about when, I mean, we're going to obviously
Speaker 1: get to all this later, but when you choose a
Speaker 1: creative career, very few of us who choose creative careers
Speaker 1: of all different kinds and necessarily driven by money. You know,
Speaker 1: if you were driven by money and the idea of stability,
Speaker 1: steady paychecks, regular increases, investment portfolios and stuff like, it's
Speaker 1: the wrong career to choose, let's be honest, right. But
Speaker 1: one of the things when I talked to lots of
Speaker 1: midlife women now who sort of have realized later in
Speaker 1: life sometimes that, oh, like financial independence is so important.
Speaker 1: Did you ever think about that kind of stuff or
Speaker 1: were you always chasing the adventure and the experience and
Speaker 1: the creativity.
Speaker 2: Are always chasing the adventure. I definitely didn't think about that.
Speaker 2: I'm not like a material kind of girl. I don't
Speaker 2: think I have been. I think that's probably come from
Speaker 2: my parents. They're not like that. Well, we never had
Speaker 2: money to be like that, so you know, you kind
Speaker 2: of have forced to be that way. And no, I didn't.
Speaker 2: I just lived and I would work whatever other jobs
Speaker 2: I had to to keep afloat so I could keep
Speaker 2: that dream alive. So you know, I would wait tables.
Speaker 2: I mean that's the main thing when you're a dancer.
Speaker 2: You learn how to wait tables, make coffee, do all
Speaker 2: of that. But then when I did get like Cats,
Speaker 2: I thought Cats was the best thing. Now we got
Speaker 2: seven hundred dollars a.
Speaker 1: Week, yeah, you would have been like, I'm rich.
Speaker 2: So rich, and then you also got your per diem
Speaker 2: and you're staying in these hotels all around. Well we
Speaker 2: did Asia, and then all of Australia's saying, in great accommodation,
Speaker 2: you're getting this pa diem. You can live off the
Speaker 2: pa diem if you're smart, which I did, and so
Speaker 2: I felt like, yeah, I felt like I was winning
Speaker 2: at that point with my seven hundred dollars a week.
Speaker 2: But then after Cats, I somehow sort of fell into
Speaker 2: acting and then money kind of did become slightly more
Speaker 2: appealing because it blew like a whole week of really
Speaker 2: really hard work, eight shows a week, three hour shows.
Speaker 2: You know, that's a lot plus rehearsals, all for your
Speaker 2: seven hundred bucks. But then you go and do a
Speaker 2: TV commercial and you're there for two hours and you
Speaker 2: get six grand. It sort of acting opened my eyes,
Speaker 2: and probably, if I'm being really honest and truthful, I
Speaker 2: would say money certainly suaded me into the acting world.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously your life took lots of turns, but
Speaker 1: when you were sort of in a Hollywood adjacent period,
Speaker 1: did you have your head turned that you know how
Speaker 1: you were saying before, I've never been a materialistic person,
Speaker 1: and that's obvious that your values are not that right,
Speaker 1: it's obvious, and the choices you've made, the way you
Speaker 1: live your life. Did you have your head turned when
Speaker 1: you were almost adjacent to that kind of big, glitzy world.
Speaker 1: Did it seem attractive then? Were you seduced by it
Speaker 1: at all?
Speaker 2: In America?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Look, so my first proper acting job, you know,
Speaker 2: I did twenty three TV commercials from a dancer. I
Speaker 2: was taking some time off and I had an agent,
Speaker 2: and I said to that agent, you know, I need
Speaker 2: a break. And she called like in a week in
Speaker 2: and said, hey, I've got an audition for you. And
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I need a rest and she's like, no,
Speaker 2: it's an acting job. You just got to look longingly
Speaker 2: at a chip like it's a KFC. You just got
Speaker 2: to look at a chip. And I was like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm not an actor. And she's like, you just pretended
Speaker 2: to be a cap for two years. Yes you are.
Speaker 2: And it pays two grand. And I was like two
Speaker 2: grand for how long? They're like two grand for maybe
Speaker 2: half a day if you're there that long. Anyway, I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, I'll do that. So I did all
Speaker 2: these TV commercials and they paid really really well. I
Speaker 2: did them for probably three years. But then anyway, Baywatch
Speaker 2: came to town. Yeah, and it was my first I've
Speaker 2: done sort of a couple of little roles. I think
Speaker 2: i'd done water at anyway, a couple of little roles,
Speaker 2: sort of one liners, not real scenes as such. Anyway,
Speaker 2: bay Watch came to town. I auditioned. That's a whole
Speaker 2: nother story. They watching me was just bizarre.
Speaker 1: But what a thing, Like what a thing to come
Speaker 1: to town. You know, when you're I don't know if
Speaker 1: you relate to this or not, but you know we're
Speaker 1: similar ages. Now you look back at life and you
Speaker 1: go that decision, that job, that relationship, that moment. Like
Speaker 1: the things that change your path, you can see them
Speaker 1: very clearly from where we're sitting now, right, and that
Speaker 1: obviously was one of those moments they watch.
Speaker 2: Definitely changed the path. That first audition. You know, I
Speaker 2: went in there. I was doing my TV commercials, but
Speaker 2: I was mainly working in the restaurants at that point
Speaker 2: in time, and you know, a bit of a night
Speaker 2: hour partying, so I was lily white, short red hair.
Speaker 2: My agent's like, you're gonna go in for this bay
Speaker 2: Watch audition. I was like, are you mental? Like no, no,
Speaker 2: And well I agreed, and then sure enough I get there. Everyone's,
Speaker 2: you know, either blonde like the Kimberly.
Speaker 1: Yes, Kimberly Davis is that what she was called as well?
Speaker 2: The two of them?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that was very much an aesthetic at that time.
Speaker 1: There was like a Pamea Anderson obviously the bay Watch connection,
Speaker 1: but a very blonde, beautiful, curvy.
Speaker 2: Definitely long haired, definitely beach Babe, beach board, all of that,
Speaker 2: and then there was me. But for whatever reason, you
Speaker 2: know that Alexandra Paul, who had been on the show prior,
Speaker 2: had the short hair. She was a bit boonboyish, you know,
Speaker 2: she was the different one she had left the show.
Speaker 2: So that's I guess how I got my start because
Speaker 2: they were looking for something just different.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, so they was definitely put me on a different path.
Speaker 2: And when I got to Hawaii, they gave us a convertible.
Speaker 2: I was at the Hilton Hawaiian Villa with one hundred
Speaker 2: and eighty k Waikiki beach views. You go into the
Speaker 2: best parties, you people are giving you clothes, so you
Speaker 2: do get a little bit carried away with that kind
Speaker 2: of life, Like it was so new, it was so different.
Speaker 2: So I went from my seven hundred dollars as you
Speaker 2: know as a dancer and the commercials that paid well
Speaker 2: to now this was minimum, but it was three grand
Speaker 2: US in ninety nine and your PERDM and you accommodation again,
Speaker 2: so that was huge. Our dollar was so weak at
Speaker 2: that point, so my three grand American was massive money
Speaker 2: to me. Massive.
Speaker 1: So there are times in your life where you're like
Speaker 1: I'm nailing it. And was that one? Did you love it?
Speaker 1: Did you love all that? The parties, the convertible, the glamour.
Speaker 1: Was that very exciting or did you quickly kind of
Speaker 1: go I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, both, I loved all of it. With Baywatch comes
Speaker 2: bay Watch, you know, and this that's around a show
Speaker 2: like that. That acting wasn't good. I mean I learned
Speaker 2: so much, so I would never ever slam it for
Speaker 2: that because it taught me all the things about camera
Speaker 2: angles and sizes and lighting and just learning lines. You know,
Speaker 2: I hadn't really done that before, so you know, it
Speaker 2: taught me a lot. But then there's also the other
Speaker 2: side of Baywatch, which was the weight. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, what was it like being
Speaker 1: in your cozi all the time? Did you feel pressure
Speaker 1: around other women?
Speaker 2: Yeah? One hundred percent. And because the girls out there
Speaker 2: were absolutely extraordinary. I went in there the smallest I've
Speaker 2: ever been. I think I was weighing in it. This
Speaker 2: is horrible, forty five kilo and I'm five seven When
Speaker 2: I first got there, because I was so paranoid before
Speaker 2: I went that, I just trained like nothing else and
Speaker 2: all I ate was protein and I stripped down and
Speaker 2: I thought I was looking okay, But I looked back
Speaker 2: at those first few episodes of Baywatch and I'm like
Speaker 2: so thin, like A couldn't see it in real life.
Speaker 2: But when I watched it back, it was also.
Speaker 1: Though that nineties esthetic was tiny right like sometimes when
Speaker 1: you look. But I mean, and I was watching TV
Speaker 1: at that time and very much immersed in that. It definitely,
Speaker 1: as I say, seems to have been a time when
Speaker 1: we decided that women needed to be absolutely tiny in that.
Speaker 1: With that, so you're in Hawaii, you're getting paid money
Speaker 1: that to you is like wow, and living the life.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of shit that comes along with it,
Speaker 1: like you're not allowed to eat, but you're going to
Speaker 1: all the parties, you're meeting Hollywood stars and all the
Speaker 1: rest of it.
Speaker 2: Then what happens, Well, look, I realized that all of
Speaker 2: that stuff wasn't really important, And you know, I got
Speaker 2: fired in the middle of Baywatch. So sorry. I know
Speaker 2: we said we weren't going to go down THEA that's fine,
Speaker 2: but I didn't fired in the middle of it because
Speaker 2: I refused to do a photo shoot that I just
Speaker 2: didn't think it was I'd already done so much publicity
Speaker 2: for them, and I used up my quota and I
Speaker 2: just put my foot down.
Speaker 1: Anyway, what kind of photo shoot did they want to do?
Speaker 2: Look, it was for one of the men's magazines.
Speaker 1: Which are massive then, like just for like I'm sure
Speaker 1: our listens will remember because they're grown ups, but those
Speaker 1: men's mags were huge at that time, right, huge.
Speaker 2: And especially for Baywatch. Like there was going to be
Speaker 2: a cover. I think it was Maxim and I was
Speaker 2: really excited at first because I was like, oh, that's cool.
Speaker 2: But then I had in my head, Okay, we'll do
Speaker 2: a black and white shoot. It'll be with sheers in
Speaker 2: a hotel room. Maybe there'll be a cigarette. It lit'tle
Speaker 2: bit suspenders, like I'll make it. This could be amazing.
Speaker 1: Sexy but tasteful.
Speaker 2: You're thinking super tasteful, but super sexy. I was like,
Speaker 2: this would be nice, and I'm like, no, no, it's lingerie.
Speaker 2: But you'll be on the beach with the girls, a
Speaker 2: bit of a girl on girl you know. Action. I've
Speaker 2: got nothing against that at all, and I certainly had
Speaker 2: nothing against my co stars, but I was just done
Speaker 2: with all of that. Like, you know, we had to
Speaker 2: go to football games and basketball games in our swimsuits,
Speaker 2: so that could be in the middle, you know, of
Speaker 2: the night, eight o'clock at night there we were in
Speaker 2: the middle going.
Speaker 1: So they kind of treated the Baywatch actresses like models, cheerlea,
Speaker 1: there's what do you call them, promo girls like yeah,
Speaker 1: which there's nothing wrong with that as a way to
Speaker 1: make a living, but that's not what you thought you
Speaker 1: were doing.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was just thinking, you know, I wanted to
Speaker 2: be taken what as serious as you could be taken
Speaker 2: on bait Watch and that sort of thing, especially when
Speaker 2: I'd done what my contract had already, you know, I'd
Speaker 2: done my quota. I didn't want to be doing any
Speaker 2: more of those, and so I just stood my ground and.
Speaker 1: It didn't go down.
Speaker 2: Well, it's just backfired. But I'm so stubborn. I'm so stubborn.
Speaker 2: They were like they called me in and they said
Speaker 2: you have to do it, and I said, oh, be
Speaker 2: as sexy as you like, but please, can we do
Speaker 2: it like in a hotel. I don't want to do
Speaker 2: the girl on girl. I don't want to do that,
Speaker 2: and I don't want to do it on beach, and
Speaker 2: don't want to do it in like underwear on a beach,
Speaker 2: wet lingerie on a beach, so it's just yuck. And
Speaker 2: they were like, no, this is what you're doing. And
Speaker 2: I said, well, I'm not so and they said, okay,
Speaker 2: we're sending you home. You're fired.
Speaker 1: More of my conversation with Simone after this shortbreak, so again,
Speaker 1: we could be here all day. Because your life is
Speaker 1: very interesting. So you've got this level of success. You know,
Speaker 1: you're going in Hollywood movies, you had a famous boyfriend
Speaker 1: at this time. Then you do come back to Australia
Speaker 1: and you're on Mcloud's Daughters, which is one, as I
Speaker 1: said before, it's in the cannon of one of the
Speaker 1: most loved Aussie TV shows ever.
Speaker 2: Right for sure?
Speaker 1: Was it amazing to be on it at the time.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. I mean I definitely had moments in la and
Speaker 2: in America where I felt like, especially that movie in Lithuania,
Speaker 2: I felt like, oh, I'm a proper actress now. But
Speaker 2: then I did some big grade movies too that made
Speaker 2: me go okay. But then when I came back to McLeod's,
Speaker 2: you know, i'd never seen in the shows I had
Speaker 2: been in America, and they flew me back for the
Speaker 2: second audition. So I did a self tape in America
Speaker 2: and the second audition was back here in Australia and
Speaker 2: they gave me six or seven episodes to watch in
Speaker 2: the hotel before I was to do this, and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, no, these guys are amazing, like amazing, amazing.
Speaker 2: How am I going to do this? Like I'm not
Speaker 2: a trained actor. I looked at a chip once and
Speaker 2: then next thing you know, I'm here.
Speaker 1: You know, I looked at a chip once and now.
Speaker 2: That's kind of how when like it just pure and
Speaker 2: so that made me really really nervous because the standard,
Speaker 2: you know, the actors who were the nier people, Abriety
Speaker 2: and Aaron there, and you know, they all trained and amazing.
Speaker 2: And I did feel very uncertain about the second audition.
Speaker 2: But luckily they put me on a horse, and I
Speaker 2: grew up with horses, right, yeah, I mean I'd never
Speaker 2: hit a mark before on a horse. I was comfortable
Speaker 2: cantering in on a horse and my character had to
Speaker 2: be really comfy. So I think my audition wasn't great.
Speaker 2: My first audition was, but the second one wasn't so great.
Speaker 2: But because I nailed it on the horse anyway, Yes,
Speaker 2: McCloud's was amazing for me to be now with these
Speaker 2: actors that were so talented, to be working with animals,
Speaker 2: to be back in Australia, like all of those things.
Speaker 2: The last couple of years in America, mem X were
Speaker 2: like out in a caravan again caravan we moved out LA.
Speaker 2: He wasn't an La kind of person either, so we'd
Speaker 2: been living in an airstream out there in the middle
Speaker 2: of Valencia, and we've sort of been away from all
Speaker 2: the big material things anyway. But for me to be
Speaker 2: back and be on home to family could come and visit,
Speaker 2: doing this extraordinary show with these amazing people was just
Speaker 2: the biggest gift ever.
Speaker 1: So interesting that you know you are originally from country Australia,
Speaker 1: I guess, and then you're on the most iconic regional
Speaker 1: country show.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't want to push on this too much because
Speaker 1: I know it's personal, but I have seen a post
Speaker 1: of yours that you put up once of you were
Speaker 1: in a wedding dress on the set of Mcloud's You're
Speaker 1: filming the wedding scene, but you actually were going through
Speaker 1: personal heartbreak at the time. I think you and your
Speaker 1: axe had just broken up.
Speaker 2: Ah, yes, Well I didn't break up. He left, and
Speaker 2: he left very very suddenly. And you know, I'd been
Speaker 2: an anxious person sometimes, you know, nerves can totally get
Speaker 2: the best of me when it comes to additions. If
Speaker 2: it's something really important, you know, the nerves can just
Speaker 2: completely derail, like I can't think, I can't do anything,
Speaker 2: and that's normal. But when he left, it catapulted me
Speaker 2: into a world of anxiety that I didn't know existed,
Speaker 2: and it opened the door to panic attacks. So he
Speaker 2: left the end of November two thousand and six.
Speaker 1: And you were like, you were a long distance at
Speaker 1: this point, so correct, and you're contracted to be in
Speaker 1: a tiny town in South Australia dealing with this from Afar,
Speaker 1: which must have been very like discombobulating on a million levels.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well he flew into break up with me, I guess.
Speaker 2: So he did do it face to face, but it
Speaker 2: came out of the blue because I was leaving Mcloud's.
Speaker 2: I'd given my notice we were about to be married.
Speaker 2: You know, we were talking baby names, my world. I
Speaker 2: thought I knew what my world was. And here's my
Speaker 2: character playing she's going to be a bride. So all
Speaker 2: this good. Stuff's happening for my character, it's happening for
Speaker 2: me in my mind as well. You know, I'll be
Speaker 2: written out of the show. This would have been an
Speaker 2: amazing four years. But I'm going off to live my life.
Speaker 2: He turns up, leaves with no explanation, and I have
Speaker 2: to go. The very first thing I do on the Monday.
Speaker 2: Can you believe he left on the Friday. The very
Speaker 2: first thing I had to do that Monday was try
Speaker 2: on Stevie's wedding dress, Like the very first thing. I
Speaker 2: don't really remember it from the moment he left. I
Speaker 2: think I just drank myself into a bit of a
Speaker 2: stupor the entire weekend. Don't think I ate much anyway.
Speaker 2: They take me and I'm a mess. I can't even stand.
Speaker 2: I'm just crying. I'm sobbing, and they're just going to
Speaker 2: hold me up trying to fit this wedding dress. So
Speaker 2: I've never even tried my real wedding dress on. I
Speaker 2: hadn't bought one. You know, it was going to be
Speaker 2: a beach wedding, so it wasn't going to be any.
Speaker 1: But still it was all there in your mind. What
Speaker 1: was going to happen?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd never tried any wedding dress on. I'd never
Speaker 2: played a bride, so this was the first time ever.
Speaker 2: He just left and here I am trying to put
Speaker 2: this dress on. Anyway, I didn't from that moment though.
Speaker 2: They did hold me up and I had to go
Speaker 2: to set. I only had one scene to do that
Speaker 2: first day on that Monday, and I just stopped. I
Speaker 2: shut it off, and I didn't cry again. At work.
Speaker 2: They flew my family in immediately, which was amazing. So
Speaker 2: I had my little niece, who was maybe two or
Speaker 2: three three at the time, at home with me, and
Speaker 2: my sister was there, you know. So I didn't cry
Speaker 2: at work, I didn't cry at home. But a couple
Speaker 2: of weeks went by with this somehow held within I'm
Speaker 2: playing the giddy bride, so I'm going the opposite while
Speaker 2: I'm at work. But then one day i'd had a dream,
Speaker 2: walked into the makeup bus and one of my co
Speaker 2: stars just said, oh, you look better, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I feel good. I had a dream. I told him
Speaker 2: where to go and feeling really confident, and the second
Speaker 2: I did it, my world just like collapsed but imploded
Speaker 2: at the same time. I didn't know what was happening.
Speaker 2: I couldn't move. All I could hear was people around
Speaker 2: me saying you're right or you're right. But I was
Speaker 2: just I was frozen. It's completely and utterly frozen. But
Speaker 2: I believe I was breathing really, really heavily. Anyway, they
Speaker 2: quickly rushed got the medic to come in, and that
Speaker 2: was the first panic attack that I'd ever had, and
Speaker 2: it came from just that little tiny bit of joy
Speaker 2: that I had from you know, telling him off in
Speaker 2: my dream, in my subconscious It was crazy. And so
Speaker 2: that photo Stevie, my character was shooting the wedding. So
Speaker 2: everything I did from friggin' moment that he left was
Speaker 2: all Stevie's happiness and joy. So of course the wedding
Speaker 2: itself was going to be a hurdle. Everybody knew it.
Speaker 2: You know, these panic attacks had started, so we knew
Speaker 2: that they would come, and they'd come randomly, you never knew,
Speaker 2: but we assumed that the bows were probably going to
Speaker 2: be the worst. But I somehow got through the bowels,
Speaker 2: don't know, got it. But then and then there was
Speaker 2: the wedding, the first dance, and it's just massive. It
Speaker 2: was as nearly as big as the first one. I
Speaker 2: think it was a huge, huge panic attack. And then
Speaker 2: that was the aftermath. So I was sitting in the
Speaker 2: dining room in the big old house and my makeup
Speaker 2: artist Jodi was just trying to put me back together,
Speaker 2: and of course it had them for a bit. Now
Speaker 2: everyone was not so panicked anymore. We knew that they
Speaker 2: came and that were horrible, but then they did go
Speaker 2: and the release, Like I felt quite good after them,
Speaker 2: because all of this energy is somehow it's gone for
Speaker 2: a second and you go into this really horrible, scary place,
Speaker 2: but then there's this there's such relief after it's passed.
Speaker 1: People who haven't experienced panic attacks are always very shocked
Speaker 1: at how physical they are. You know, people frequently think
Speaker 1: they're having a heart attack, that there's something very serious happening,
Speaker 1: and seeing somebody out of context that happening to them
Speaker 1: is very scary. When we were just talking before about
Speaker 1: the moment you look back on and you go, well,
Speaker 1: that was a turn, and that was a turn. So
Speaker 1: that sort of culmination of McCloud's and sort of clashing
Speaker 1: into this big breakup and also clashing into a mental
Speaker 1: health crisis. I imagine that it is kind of the
Speaker 1: start of another chapter, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely it was. Well, it was the the
Speaker 2: big end of a life that I thought I was
Speaker 2: going to have, and then it was. It opened up
Speaker 2: a different kind of world, this anxiety world that I
Speaker 2: then had to contend with. I mean, it did sort
Speaker 2: of pass down there. They became less frequent, especially after
Speaker 2: the wedding was kind of done and dusted, but other
Speaker 2: things can trigger them these days, and so more recently,
Speaker 2: you know, financial stress is kind of the thing.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because a lot of the women who listen
Speaker 1: to this show, you know, their stories won't involve Hollywood
Speaker 1: stars and you know, being on the beach in their
Speaker 1: neckers and shooting weddings, but the themes are similar, right,
Speaker 1: like the things that can derail your life. There's confidence,
Speaker 1: there's mental health, there's romantic breakdowns, there's all these things.
Speaker 1: It is actually very relatable because then you're there going okay,
Speaker 1: well now what and then you become a single mom
Speaker 1: then now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, look, so it all happens for a reason, right inside,
Speaker 3: Like I'm so glad that he left because I wouldn't
Speaker 3: have mads if you know, I had stayed in that
Speaker 3: relationship if I had gone to America, like, oh god,
Speaker 3: I just wouldn't want to be in America anyway.
Speaker 1: Well, no, not at the moment for sure. So your
Speaker 1: life as single mom as mads as mom?
Speaker 2: Yeah, how has that?
Speaker 1: And obviously did you consciously leave acting behind or did
Speaker 1: it leave you a little bit?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: Was that a very conscious decision that like, okay, it's
Speaker 1: time to change how things are going.
Speaker 2: Yeah, look, I definitely decided to put my hand down.
Speaker 2: So Madigan was born on my thirty seventh birthday and
Speaker 2: I went down and I think he was only three
Speaker 2: months old. I did a little stint on City Homicide,
Speaker 2: which was fine. It was only a few days though.
Speaker 2: It was just a little guesty. That was okay. But
Speaker 2: then when he was around two, I went and did Neighbors.
Speaker 2: And I did Neighbors for about three months. And the
Speaker 2: set days, like when you're working on a show, any show,
Speaker 2: sometimes you can be there twelve fourteen hours a day,
Speaker 2: And that's how it was when I was on Neighbors.
Speaker 2: You know, you work for a really they crushed their scenes.
Speaker 2: You did all your scenes kind of in one day,
Speaker 2: and then there'd be rehearsals and whatnot. So even though
Speaker 2: I was there for three months, some weeks I was
Speaker 2: only maybe working the one day, but in that day
Speaker 2: I was away for the entire day. I'd leave in
Speaker 2: the dark, I'd be home in the dark, and Madigan
Speaker 2: just didn't understand. And I just after that, Gig, I
Speaker 2: just thought, you know, I'm the age that I am.
Speaker 2: I don't have a partner, the chances of me having
Speaker 2: another baby are very very slim. I don't want to
Speaker 2: miss a moment. It was then that I sort of
Speaker 2: said to my agents that I don't really think this
Speaker 2: is for me at the moment. I really just want
Speaker 2: to enjoy this with my little boy. I was in
Speaker 2: Coughs Tarvarts, so you know, I'm removed from the acting
Speaker 2: world and all of that anyway, So I just said, no,
Speaker 2: let's just leave it for now.
Speaker 1: After this short break, I'm going to be back with
Speaker 1: Simone Jade McKinnon to hear about how things came full
Speaker 1: circle for Simone, but not quite in the way she'd planned.
Speaker 1: And this brings us back to the little house that
Speaker 1: you bought, that you told us about. So after Mcloud's
Speaker 1: you bought a house back in coff. She moved back
Speaker 1: to be near your family. And then after a few
Speaker 1: years there and I imagine circumstances changed, we moved back
Speaker 1: to the paddock.
Speaker 2: We moved. Yeah, we get the caravan. We set off
Speaker 2: on our lap around Australia. But my dad, who has
Speaker 2: been battling cancer since two thousand and seven, not battling
Speaker 2: the whole time, sorry, living with cancer. Yeah, he got
Speaker 2: really sick. So I'd only been on the road for
Speaker 2: six months. Here we are in the caravan, we're in
Speaker 2: cans and he wants me to come back, and I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: it's a long drive, but I'd rather come back now,
Speaker 2: you know than if we're over in wa you know,
Speaker 2: it's a lot bigger hall to get home. So I
Speaker 2: was like, this is perfect. We'll come home for Christmas anyway.
Speaker 2: Set up in the paddock. The paddock that I used
Speaker 2: to ride my horses in out of bonvol was five acres.
Speaker 2: It's nothing big, it's nothing grand. And so there I
Speaker 2: was in the caravan in the paddock and he asked
Speaker 2: me to subdivide the land for him. He's like, I'd
Speaker 2: rather subdivide it now. The counselor had just given approval,
Speaker 2: I'd rather subdivide it now and have you kids get
Speaker 2: a little bit of your inheritance now. That'll help you
Speaker 2: all out. And so I was like, okay, sure, how
Speaker 2: long would this possibly take a few months? I thought?
Speaker 2: Two years later, I'm still in the paddock full time
Speaker 2: in the caravan, not moving, and it's like, oh.
Speaker 1: What are you living on at this point? Like, what's
Speaker 1: work like for you at this time? Work?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Were you working?
Speaker 2: No? So I came back. I was his care for
Speaker 2: a while, yes, because he was so sick. So I
Speaker 2: did get some money from that pride. I'd sold the house,
Speaker 2: so I had money in the bank, so I wasn't
Speaker 2: allowed I sent a link or anything like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you had savings.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because I had my savings. So that was
Speaker 2: a choice I decided. I knew that I was going
Speaker 2: to spend money to do this lap. Yeah, but it
Speaker 2: was something I was happy to do because it was
Speaker 2: the bucket list dream that I wanted.
Speaker 1: Was the six months that you did get to do?
Speaker 1: Was it the dream?
Speaker 2: It was part of the dream Queensland?
Speaker 1: So but was it wonderful being on the road like that?
Speaker 2: To sheer math, Oh my god, it was the best.
Speaker 2: It was the best. It was hard because I was
Speaker 2: homeschooling him, like kindergarten. You think that kindy would be
Speaker 2: the easiest, but it's not. Kindergarten is the base of
Speaker 2: all their schooling and he had a speech delay, so
Speaker 2: it was really hard. That was the worst part of it.
Speaker 2: Like I loved doing it all myself. I took him
Speaker 2: to the Tip Wow Tip of New Southwes. I dragged
Speaker 2: a twenty four foot caravan by myself that whole.
Speaker 1: Way, crop country, red dirt, red dirt.
Speaker 2: Like we loved it, Madigan that the dogs loved it.
Speaker 2: We didn't love the crocodiles because that made hard. But
Speaker 2: just being on the road and you know, the physical work,
Speaker 2: I didn't mind at all. I loved driving, so that
Speaker 2: wasn't a problem. And yeah, we were just we were
Speaker 2: absolutely living our best life while we were on the road.
Speaker 2: I just think I was born to do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you know, there's plenty of time we'll get
Speaker 1: to that. So then you come home, you're looking after
Speaker 1: your dad, god Mads and living on the property. And
Speaker 1: then what happened.
Speaker 2: So then Poppy pulls the rug out from under my
Speaker 2: feet a little bit and he goes, well, so I'm
Speaker 2: about to sell the land for him and me and Mads.
Speaker 2: He's feeling better, and I'm like, perfect, we'll go on again.
Speaker 2: And then Poppy goes, actually, I'm not going to sell
Speaker 2: it to anyone. You're going to have to take it.
Speaker 2: I don't want it, no offense. But I don't really
Speaker 2: want to live next door to my dad. I mean,
Speaker 2: I got out of Coffs Harbor when I was sixteen
Speaker 2: for a reason. I didn't want to be here. It
Speaker 2: was good while mat again with little, but you know,
Speaker 2: I wanted out anyway. He's a stubborn I get the
Speaker 2: stubbornness from him.
Speaker 1: From him, and.
Speaker 2: Once he put his foot down, I truly believed him
Speaker 2: that he wasn't going to He wasn't going to sell
Speaker 2: it to anybody else but may so I'll like, okay, well,
Speaker 2: i've got the cash. I've got a bit of cash.
Speaker 1: From the house.
Speaker 2: Yep, from the house. I'll pay up for my brother
Speaker 2: and sister, and I'll use the land. I'll build a
Speaker 2: shed on it and I'll use it as my base.
Speaker 2: That sounds like a great plan.
Speaker 1: So the land you're living on now is yours.
Speaker 2: It is actually mine. Yes, it's two and a half
Speaker 2: acres and it is the paddic that we used to
Speaker 2: write our in.
Speaker 1: That's so interesting because I mean, I know you were
Speaker 1: saying that isn't what you wanted, but what a story
Speaker 1: to come back there to raise your boy after all
Speaker 1: these after Hawaii and Gaula and Sydney and Japan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's wild.
Speaker 2: I know the place that I couldn't wait to get
Speaker 2: out of, though I'm stuck in now.
Speaker 1: Is there something beautiful about it or not? Or do
Speaker 1: you have to really reach for something beautiful about it?
Speaker 2: You really have to reach for the same I think
Speaker 2: you know the reason of all the stress and the
Speaker 2: mental issues was because I was forced into this situation.
Speaker 2: I would have decided it for myself, that's one thing,
Speaker 2: and then you live with your decision. But I kind
Speaker 2: of felt like I was forced into it. And that's
Speaker 2: the thing that I've battled with because it's not a
Speaker 2: bad thing to be forced into. But it has changed.
Speaker 2: It's changed my life because the I haven't been able
Speaker 2: to continue the lap and live out my dream. I
Speaker 2: don't have the cash to do it anymore either.
Speaker 1: Because you've spent it on the land.
Speaker 2: Well, spend it on the land and then anything else
Speaker 2: has now gone into this small business.
Speaker 1: So so you've started a small business. It's clothing, and
Speaker 1: I have to say it's very you. I was looking
Speaker 1: at the website earlier on is that the big dream?
Speaker 1: Like is that where you see yourself going no, you're
Speaker 1: shaking your head another's.
Speaker 2: I honestly did it.
Speaker 1: So it's called Wandering Aussie. By the way, everybody wandering Ossy,
Speaker 1: thank you.
Speaker 2: For the shout out. Yes, wondering Ossy. Well, I went
Speaker 2: under the name Wandering Ossy when I first sold up
Speaker 2: because I was like, oh, this is cool. Maybe I can,
Speaker 2: you know, do a little YouTube channel. I did start one,
Speaker 2: and you know, I'll document my travels. Maybe there's a
Speaker 2: way I can make some money as I go. Kind
Speaker 2: of That's what I thought back in twenty sixteen, and
Speaker 2: then twenty nineteen I did take off again and I
Speaker 2: was working as a Jillaroo.
Speaker 1: Ye, which this blows my mind because I'm just imagining
Speaker 1: people going our Jillarou is Stevie from McLeod's Daughter.
Speaker 2: And it all happened by chance, Like my whole life
Speaker 2: is just this chance after chance that I've just been
Speaker 2: really lucky and really fortunate that they've come up. And
Speaker 2: then also I've had the balls to just go yeah,
Speaker 2: why why not? And this family that lived up at Rockhampton,
Speaker 2: I did a charity event in Tamworth with riding these
Speaker 2: cutting horses, which is amazing. And then they said to me,
Speaker 2: why don't you come up. This is twenty nineteen. Why
Speaker 2: don't you come up work in our station and will
Speaker 2: teach you to do what you used to pretend to
Speaker 2: do on Mcloud's daughters. We'll teach you for real. And
Speaker 2: I was like sure. Like I didn't get paid, so
Speaker 2: it was just food and accommodation were all covered, so
Speaker 2: it was just for the experience and I was there
Speaker 2: for only three months. Unfortunately, the drought hit and it
Speaker 2: was a really bad time for the family, so I
Speaker 2: couldn't stay as long as I had planned to stay.
Speaker 2: But from there I went up bull catching in far
Speaker 2: North Queensland and I kind of went, oh, there's enough
Speaker 2: interest in me doing this that I think I could
Speaker 2: do both the lap and the jillarooing at the same time.
Speaker 2: Document it as well. Just want a property, hop my
Speaker 2: way around and get paid, like oh a jillaru is
Speaker 2: really low wage, especially cutting from the bottom. I'm sure
Speaker 2: the good station hands in all of those they'd probably
Speaker 2: get great money. But when you're the shit kicker as
Speaker 2: I was, it's really basic money. But I didn't care.
Speaker 2: I was like, that could be an amazing thing for me.
Speaker 2: But then the pandemic hit twenty nineteen, everything was great.
Speaker 2: I had some station work lined up for early twenty
Speaker 2: twenty pandemic You're not going north and I had a
Speaker 2: station in Tazzy our second wave hit Victoria not going
Speaker 2: that way. And then I was like, oh, what am
Speaker 2: I going to do? I need to do something. I'm
Speaker 2: stuck here. I've got the shed in the caravan, but
Speaker 2: what am I going to do? And then with the
Speaker 2: Wandering Ossie title, I just thought, you know, I've always sewn,
Speaker 2: I've made I made Logi dresses when I was back
Speaker 2: doing the logis. I've always been creative in that way,
Speaker 2: and so I thought, well, maybe I can just do
Speaker 2: something along those lines while I'm stuck here. And I
Speaker 2: knew that there'd be McCloud's fans out there. I did
Speaker 2: my logo was a cowgirl, kind of a gypsy cowgirl.
Speaker 2: I had my dreadlocks, so it was like a cowgirl
Speaker 2: and a gypsy collide, and I knew that they would
Speaker 2: get a kick out of that, and they did. You know,
Speaker 2: The hoodies and T shirts went quite quickly, and then
Speaker 2: the pandemic just kept going. So I was like, Okay, well,
Speaker 2: I'll do something else, and here we are, like what
Speaker 2: four years later, and I'm still going with it.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you about the pressure of being a
Speaker 1: single mom? And I know that actually looking at Wondering Ossie,
Speaker 1: you actually give a little bit of money from all
Speaker 1: your sales to a single mom's organization, right, so you're
Speaker 1: really passionate about supporting single moms. Yeah, Can you explain
Speaker 1: a little bit about the pressure of how it feels
Speaker 1: to be the sort of single point of failure for
Speaker 1: your family? And when I say single point of failure,
Speaker 1: that sounds wrong. I'm not suggesting in any way your failing,
Speaker 1: but the pressure of knowing if I don't do it, it's
Speaker 1: not going to happen. If I don't put food on
Speaker 1: the table, it's not going to be there. If I
Speaker 1: don't secure things, you know for maths like that is
Speaker 1: a pressure that is a lot to live with, right.
Speaker 2: Yes, it certainly is like any single parent, male or female.
Speaker 2: You know, it's it's a really it's a tough gig.
Speaker 2: But I always say that, you know, with all the
Speaker 2: stress and the money and all of that, you also
Speaker 2: get double the love, double the hugs, double the everything.
Speaker 2: So for me, it's been a really wonderful ride, as
Speaker 2: stressful as it has been, I know I'm fortunate though too,
Speaker 2: Like I do have a block of land here, I've
Speaker 2: got a caravan and I've got a shed, and that's
Speaker 2: a lot more than many many other single mums or
Speaker 2: dads have. Especially now now it's horrible.
Speaker 1: What have you learned about how to? I mean, maybe
Speaker 1: you didn't have to learn because, as you said at
Speaker 1: the beginning, you're not a very materialistic person, but the
Speaker 1: logistics of living between a shad and a caravan, Like,
Speaker 1: what have you learned? It's easy to go without, Like
Speaker 1: what's your sort of philosophy on what you actually need,
Speaker 1: you guys to be the happy family unit that you
Speaker 1: clearly are very tight?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well look we don't have there's no heating or
Speaker 2: cooling in this shed. This is a big black shed too.
Speaker 2: So summertime this thing is hot. Wintertime it's freezing. It's
Speaker 2: cement floors, so you know, we just go without. You
Speaker 2: put the fans on when it's hot, and then wintertime
Speaker 2: we rug up like I've always got I mean, my
Speaker 2: hair's growing out at the moment too, so that's another
Speaker 2: reason for the bandanna. But always got a beanie on
Speaker 2: and just you just got to lay out, so we
Speaker 2: go without things like that. You know that money can
Speaker 2: go towards an adventure of some sort. Madigan, you know,
Speaker 2: I want him to grow up thinking that kind of
Speaker 2: thing too. And he like he laughs at the fact
Speaker 2: that he's a kmart kid. That's what you know. It's
Speaker 2: I think it's cute, like of course, like he's he
Speaker 2: understands already. I mean he's got a PlayStation, so you know,
Speaker 2: there are some things that I definitely want him to,
Speaker 2: you know, not feel like he's getting left behind. But
Speaker 2: he also knows that you don't need all that. He
Speaker 2: loves the shed. He thinks the shed's great.
Speaker 1: It actually looks really good from what I can see.
Speaker 2: I'm showing you a good part.
Speaker 1: I've got a corrugated roof on my house too, so
Speaker 1: I know about the noise, but you're doing very well
Speaker 1: with it. Let's just get to the Summit because I
Speaker 1: heard when you were going on that show. So anyone
Speaker 1: who hasn't watched The Summit, right, there are some shows
Speaker 1: that I love to watch with my kids. Family TV
Speaker 1: is a thing, right. I used to turn my nose
Speaker 1: up at those kind of shows, but now there's nothing
Speaker 1: I love more than being on the couch. And we
Speaker 1: watch Survivor, and we watched both seasons at the Summit,
Speaker 1: and you were on it.
Speaker 2: The physical pain has been relentless, from blisters to sore shoulder,
Speaker 2: and as much as my heart is telling me to
Speaker 2: keep going, where I am really struggling to catch my breath,
Speaker 2: like I don't know if it's a panic attack that
Speaker 2: I'm feeling. Coming on, I can see your hands shaking.
Speaker 1: I loved you from the minute you came on, because
Speaker 1: obviously I know who you are, of course I do.
Speaker 1: I'm very familiar with mcclouds and all the culture of
Speaker 1: the tea. I used to work at TV week at
Speaker 1: one time, and you were a big deal there, I
Speaker 1: can tell you. So obviously I knew you were, but
Speaker 1: there was something very relatable to me about you on
Speaker 1: that show. You were very honest about your circumstances. You
Speaker 1: were very clear about the fact I'm here to make
Speaker 1: some money for my family. My dream is to build
Speaker 1: a shared house on your property. You seemed overwhelmed at
Speaker 1: the beginning. You seemed insecure at the beginning. You were like,
Speaker 1: what am I doing here? Who are all these big personalities?
Speaker 1: I don't even know? And yet you were spoiler friends
Speaker 1: one of the last three, and you walked away with
Speaker 1: some money, not as much as, in my opinion, you
Speaker 1: should have walked away with. But you get paid to
Speaker 1: go on it, right.
Speaker 2: No, as a show like that, some contestants might get paid,
Speaker 2: but on a reality show like that, you don't get paid.
Speaker 1: So the prize money is the reward and that's it, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: and obviously expensive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but definitely people can get paid more. But
Speaker 2: in general terms, no, a show like that, you go
Speaker 2: on there. I mean it's two weeks, fifteen days of
Speaker 2: your life, so you know it's a good gamble.
Speaker 1: Was that experience terrifying?
Speaker 2: Well, look, they asked me, and then I said, yes, okay,
Speaker 2: let's do it. But then I went back and rewatched
Speaker 2: season one again as an actual contestant, and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh shit, that actually looks a lot harder, and it
Speaker 2: was really close to the shooting date, and so there
Speaker 2: was no time. I'd lost on my hair earlier that year,
Speaker 2: so I hadn't been to the gym. I was pretty unfit,
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, it all kind of came
Speaker 2: to me in a real sense of what I was
Speaker 2: going to have to do. But I was still thinking
Speaker 2: at that point only about the physical side of it,
Speaker 2: and potentially the emotional side of it, being away from Madigan,
Speaker 2: because I had never been away from him ever. We've
Speaker 2: never not spoken, and I knew that once you get
Speaker 2: on the mountain there was no communication whatsoever, and I
Speaker 2: knew that that was going to play with my brain
Speaker 2: a lot of my emotions. What I didn't realize was
Speaker 2: because I had been in this really dark place and
Speaker 2: I'd lost all my hair, and i'd been in hiding
Speaker 2: that you know, you're there, and the next thing you're
Speaker 2: with all these people that you don't know from a
Speaker 2: bar soap. They're all very big personalities. And then you've
Speaker 2: got cameras, although you know the cameras do try and
Speaker 2: keep away a little bit, so you're kind of in
Speaker 2: this little bubble on the mountain. With these random people,
Speaker 2: and they've got their big personalities, and everyone's trying to
Speaker 2: get their five minutes of fame and their views across,
Speaker 2: and they want to be the alpha and everything. And
Speaker 2: I wasn't prepared for that kind of environment. I wasn't
Speaker 2: prepared for the cameras. Again, I didn't think about it.
Speaker 2: I didn't think it through, and I wasn't prepared for
Speaker 2: all the big personalities that seem to be very, very
Speaker 2: comfortable in front of I should have been the one
Speaker 2: comfortable in front of the king.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Interesting, I've been okay, but I wasn't okay, and I
Speaker 2: just well, I didn't speak like I'm glad that you
Speaker 2: could sort of see what was happening to me.
Speaker 1: You walk away with one hundred thousand, it's all right.
Speaker 2: Two thousand, yeah, which is better than nothing.
Speaker 1: So better than nothing. What have you done with the money,
Speaker 1: And tell me how you're feeling now post that post
Speaker 1: coming out of this place you've been in, about what's
Speaker 1: next and what are the plans?
Speaker 2: Right? Well, certainly the one hundred thousand is enough to
Speaker 2: take the pressure off a little bit. It's not enough
Speaker 2: to build. So this shed here that we spend a
Speaker 2: lot of time in isn't a livable space.
Speaker 1: It's not a proper house.
Speaker 2: It's not a proper house, and it's not a legal house.
Speaker 2: I'm not allowed to live in it. It's legal shed
Speaker 2: and I can work out of it. The businesses here,
Speaker 2: everything's fine, but it can never and can never be
Speaker 2: sold as a residence. So the only option I'd have
Speaker 2: to build another. And I love the shed. I love
Speaker 2: what I did here, so I know that I could
Speaker 2: build another one and do it quite cheaply. In my head,
Speaker 2: I thought I could do it for about two hundred grand.
Speaker 2: That would be a lot of work, that wouldn't be
Speaker 2: a good kitchen, that wouldn't be good bathrooms. But you
Speaker 2: know I could get the bones up. I can't do
Speaker 2: that with one hundred thousand. There's just no way. So
Speaker 2: unfortunately it's a bit boring. I've got dead of course, Yeah,
Speaker 2: the money will go that way. And then right now
Speaker 2: I'm feeling quite confident. I feel like I'm going to
Speaker 2: be able to do a bit of the lap. I
Speaker 2: know I can't leave my dad for very long.
Speaker 1: So your dad is still with us, and he's still unwell.
Speaker 2: He's still just living with cancer. Yeah, that he's on
Speaker 2: his own, so I'm still I'm not a paid care anymore,
Speaker 2: but I certainly am his person from you know, technology,
Speaker 2: like he doesn't have a mobile fidal, I'll have a computer.
Speaker 2: You know. I've got to help him with his smart TV.
Speaker 1: And so you are caring for him, not in a
Speaker 1: medical but yes, yeah.
Speaker 2: And I cook for him, you know, probably three or
Speaker 2: four nights a week, but I don't get paid for it.
Speaker 2: So of course I know that we could get something
Speaker 2: in place there. And so the plan is now, if
Speaker 2: I can pay these debts off, I don't have that
Speaker 2: to build the other shed house shouts, so that just
Speaker 2: has to sit on the back burner now for god
Speaker 2: knows how long. But what I could do is put
Speaker 2: a bit more money into the business. This is the
Speaker 2: plan while that stock is being made, because it takes
Speaker 2: a while Mad's and I could hit the road for
Speaker 2: a little bit. Like It's not it's probably not the
Speaker 2: best financial idea I've had, but life is it's too short.
Speaker 2: Like I've got four years left with Madigan in the house.
Speaker 2: So if I don't do that now while I've got
Speaker 2: a bit of cash to do it, I won't get
Speaker 2: to do it. If we just sit here and wait
Speaker 2: until he's eighteen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the thing is that you it sounds
Speaker 1: to me. I don't want to put words in your mouth,
Speaker 1: but your values are you want to spend time with
Speaker 1: your kid, you want to make memories and have adventures
Speaker 1: and go to place you want to go.
Speaker 2: Well, we can't.
Speaker 1: Those things are not free, because nothing is. But their
Speaker 1: choices you can make that are more meaningful perhaps than
Speaker 1: some others.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what I believe. I believe if we don't
Speaker 2: do it now, who knows what's around the corner, you know.
Speaker 2: And I want him just to have the best start
Speaker 2: in life. And I just don't believe sitting here going
Speaker 2: to a school. I would rather have the adventure and
Speaker 2: sett him on a path that could just open up
Speaker 2: all the doors for him. People who sometimes just get
Speaker 2: stuck in one place, you know, you think that's your life.
Speaker 2: That's how it's got to be. By doing this with
Speaker 2: him now and showing him and telling him, like the
Speaker 2: way I've lived my life, because he says, oh, you
Speaker 2: know what if I just finished school and then what
Speaker 2: am I going to do after that? Am I just
Speaker 2: going to go to the same job? Do the same
Speaker 2: thing day after day, and I'm like, no, look at
Speaker 2: my life, look at what I've done. You can spin
Speaker 2: and pivot at any point if you really want to,
Speaker 2: if you're not financially driven.
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, for sure, we've probably been talking too long.
Speaker 1: I'm sure my producer would say so. But I have
Speaker 1: two things really want to ask you before we wrap up.
Speaker 1: The first is about you said before you know, it's
Speaker 1: a fact actually that the fastest group of people becoming
Speaker 1: homeless of women in their midlife right, And I know
Speaker 1: that to a certain extent, the way that you're living
Speaker 1: is a choice, but it's also an affordable way for
Speaker 1: you to be able to live your life how you
Speaker 1: want to live it. Through your work with single parents
Speaker 1: community and so to. Have you heard about a lot
Speaker 1: of people who are really struggling in that circumstance.
Speaker 2: Oh, look, they're always struggling, but they're even more so
Speaker 2: now because of the housing crisis. I mean, it's so hard.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know how else to help, other
Speaker 2: than to get word out, Like my business doesn't do
Speaker 2: enough to be able to give much. I've had some
Speaker 2: amazing customers though, who have donated to the single mums
Speaker 2: and their Children's charity that I work with, and I
Speaker 2: know every little bit helps, but it's just just a
Speaker 2: really hard I don't know what we need to do
Speaker 2: as a community, but we need to do something because
Speaker 2: you can't have people out on the streetlight that. You
Speaker 2: can't have single mums out on the street missing.
Speaker 1: Meals, kids living in cars, kids.
Speaker 2: Living in cars. You know, I after the first year
Speaker 2: of starting wandering, I was either first year was okay,
Speaker 2: but then the second year was not. And you know,
Speaker 2: there was times in that year. I mean, I have
Speaker 2: to go without heat and air con. That's just what
Speaker 2: I have to do to get by. But there was
Speaker 2: a time that I was like, oh my god, medication,
Speaker 2: am I going to be able to afford that? I
Speaker 2: was faced with it too, and I called to Rees,
Speaker 2: who's the head of that charity, and I was like, look,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be able to do much because
Speaker 2: I'm actually now one of the people that I wanted
Speaker 2: to help, Like, I'm actually that person deciding if I
Speaker 2: should get my medication or not. So yeah, it's just hard,
Speaker 2: It's really hard, and I just wish there was something
Speaker 2: more I could do.
Speaker 1: It sounds like, you know, as you say, getting the
Speaker 1: word out and doing what you're doing through wandering Ossie
Speaker 1: is definitely helping because people don't think enough about what
Speaker 1: everyone's going through. The other thing I really wanted to
Speaker 1: ask you is for a woman who's listening to this
Speaker 1: who feels like she's at one of those moments where
Speaker 1: all the plans have fallen a heap. You've been through
Speaker 1: a few of them, as we've discussed today. All the
Speaker 1: plans have fallen in a heap. She's got responsibilities, she's
Speaker 1: got no idea what life's going to look like in
Speaker 1: a few months or a year. Midlife can bash your confidence,
Speaker 1: as we've discussed, have you got words of wisdom?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: What gets you through?
Speaker 2: I warned you at the beginning, No wisdom here.
Speaker 1: I think there's wisdom. How the hell have you got
Speaker 1: through some of those things?
Speaker 2: Oh? You know what? I reckon? It goes back to
Speaker 2: being a dancer and an actor as well, because there's
Speaker 2: a lot of knockbacks in both of those worlds, and
Speaker 2: you have to become very resilient and you have to
Speaker 2: take the knox and you have to get back up
Speaker 2: otherwise what is there? Like I did it for years
Speaker 2: as a dancer, you know, I go for twenty auditions
Speaker 2: and maybe I'll get one. As an actor, it was
Speaker 2: way worse, So go for one hundred auditions and maybe
Speaker 2: get one. So you kind of get used to being
Speaker 2: knocked down. And then as a single parent, you know
Speaker 2: you've got the added weight. I don't know, You've just
Speaker 2: got to you just got to keep fighting.
Speaker 1: And I guess what some people have said is that
Speaker 1: you never know what's going to happen next, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like life throws you some bizarre curveballs sometimes.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a cliche, but it's true.
Speaker 2: It's so true. And that's why I keep wanting to
Speaker 2: live life, you know, because nothing is certain. I just
Speaker 2: want to live the best life that I possibly can
Speaker 2: while I'm here. And I wanted to do as much
Speaker 2: as I possibly can with my son and give him
Speaker 2: the best start. It's life. I told you there was
Speaker 2: no wisdom.
Speaker 1: No, that is wisdom. Look at you, it is wisdom.
Speaker 1: Oh thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Oh thank you.
Speaker 1: Look, I need to tell you about Simone, even though
Speaker 1: she just did an excellent job of telling you about herself.
Speaker 1: She recorded that with us from her shed on the
Speaker 1: mid North Coast, of New South Wales as the rain
Speaker 1: pelted down on a tin roof and her son played
Speaker 1: with the rescue dogs.
Speaker 2: On the floor.
Speaker 1: For a woman has been through such a lot, her
Speaker 1: beauty and her very open energy just kind of pomped
Speaker 1: through the camera. And we did video that conversation. We
Speaker 1: always do video them, but we had a tech problem,
Speaker 1: which meant you're not going to see it, and I'm
Speaker 1: sorry about that, but I could have talked to her
Speaker 1: for a week. We talk about living a life full
Speaker 1: of stories, and I'm not sure there's a clearer example
Speaker 1: than that conversation. We just had a midwoman who's refusing
Speaker 1: to give up on the life she wants, no matter
Speaker 1: how hard it is. I just loved it. I'm always
Speaker 1: really energized by talking to people about the things that
Speaker 1: light them up. And what simone up was definitely her
Speaker 1: son and the time and the adventures that she wants
Speaker 1: to have with him, and I totally get it. Times
Speaker 1: ticking away. I feel like as your kids are growing
Speaker 1: up and you're like, but there's so much I want
Speaker 1: to do with you before you fly the nest. Friends,
Speaker 1: Please remember to scroll back in this feed to hear
Speaker 1: more stories of overcoming remarkable stuff, like my conversation with
Speaker 1: Julie Goodwin about mental health and the moment her life
Speaker 1: was saved by a couple of strangers and their puppy,
Speaker 1: or with Christine Arnau, who spoke to me about rebuilding
Speaker 1: herself after divorce and facing up to the parts we
Speaker 1: all play in the moments that derail us. Just enormous.
Speaker 1: Thanks to you mids for embracing our show and to
Speaker 1: the team who helped put it together, led by our
Speaker 1: amazing executive producer Nama Brown and including sound design from
Speaker 1: Tom Lyon and production from Telisa Bazzazz. Go and follow us,
Speaker 1: Share this episode with a friend, throw us alike. It
Speaker 1: means the world. I'll see you here next week for
Speaker 1: a conversation about rage. I know you feel it too.
Speaker 1: I'll see you back here