Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful people, we suck. Welcome back to CZA for
Speaker 1: a new year, new me, new year, new podcast, new organization.
Speaker 2: Your new promises never stick to honestly.
Speaker 1: So as you have probably noticed, given how many of
Speaker 1: you have asked us about this, Part two of Andrew's
Speaker 1: Q and A did not go up because we both
Speaker 1: went away and it just wasn't right and then we're
Speaker 1: on holidays and our brain. You will hear all about
Speaker 1: it in our official first episode back for twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1: This is obviously the second part of Andre's anonymous Q
Speaker 1: and A from last year, the bombshell one with so
Speaker 1: much excitement in it, but obviously the time references will
Speaker 1: all be out, so giving this to you so it's
Speaker 1: in your ears now, How are you feeling, Bim? Do
Speaker 1: you remember anything about what.
Speaker 2: We do know me? Either?
Speaker 3: Literally?
Speaker 2: I think it was got nice, was nice, It was love.
Speaker 2: I think that was the all feeling of it. So
Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to here.
Speaker 1: And I feel like we wanted to be together when
Speaker 1: it came out, and then we weren't and you were
Speaker 1: in New Zealand. Anyway, as you guys know, we now
Speaker 1: have and on board like properly like properly now that
Speaker 1: you've like cuya, so.
Speaker 2: It's actually executive.
Speaker 1: What did I say, No, you said actiations, Educations manager.
Speaker 1: And we've had a great planning meeting today, so you
Speaker 1: are actually going to get a lot more organization and
Speaker 1: efficiency and fulfilled promises. So we promised that in a
Speaker 1: very short amount of time you will get a New Year,
Speaker 1: New Me episode where we actually talk about what we
Speaker 1: did on the holidays, how are feeling about a new year,
Speaker 1: what's coming out. We planed our first event for the
Speaker 1: year as well, which you'll hear about very soon, But
Speaker 1: for now, please enjoy the follow up to Andre's anonymous
Speaker 1: Q and A. We hope you enjoy and you'll be
Speaker 1: hearing so much more of us this year.
Speaker 2: Enjoy.
Speaker 1: Also, this is not on my microphone on my phone
Speaker 1: because lol.
Speaker 2: Joy bye.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Seize the Ya podcast. Busy and happy
Speaker 1: are not the same thing. We too rarely question what
Speaker 1: makes the heart seeing We work, then we rest, but
Speaker 1: rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than
Speaker 1: one way. So this is a platform to hear and
Speaker 1: explore the stories of those who found lives. They adore,
Speaker 1: the good, bad and ugly. The best and worst day
Speaker 1: will bear all the facets of seizing your yea. I'm
Speaker 1: Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer turned
Speaker 1: fu entrepreneur who swapped the suits and heels to co
Speaker 1: found matcha Maiden and matcha Milk Bar. Sez the Ya
Speaker 1: is a series of conversations on finding a life you
Speaker 1: love and exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment
Speaker 1: along the way. Welcome back. This is part two of
Speaker 1: and asnonymous Q and A. Because we got through life
Speaker 1: like what one question one question last time, and we
Speaker 1: were just going to go straight through and record a
Speaker 1: second one, but I was koh, like my brain.
Speaker 2: Both oh my god.
Speaker 1: Well because it was a big episode. It was a
Speaker 1: big episode.
Speaker 2: Or so we're just getting old.
Speaker 1: We're just getting old. They are getting old, And well.
Speaker 2: I am still really quite tired.
Speaker 1: So An came over last night, literally came into our room.
Speaker 1: We watched like ten minutes of met We force fed
Speaker 1: her meme. So we do We've spoken about this before,
Speaker 1: but whenever Anne comes to her house, we do show
Speaker 1: and tell, and Nick and I fight for like and
Speaker 1: and look at this, look at this, and like we
Speaker 1: fight for her attention. So we got about three memes
Speaker 1: down and then you're like, okay, bye, guys, go to bed.
Speaker 1: It was eight thirty pm and then I woke up
Speaker 1: before you, which also never happened.
Speaker 2: And then I was like slowly backing out into the
Speaker 2: room mix.
Speaker 1: Like watch another one watch it was a video.
Speaker 2: Because well it's not finish. I was like, oh okay,
Speaker 2: but I sit myself back down.
Speaker 1: Not finished.
Speaker 2: It was like one ad and I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: well good night. He's like, it's not finished. It was
Speaker 2: an AD break and it was ten minutes of like
Speaker 2: highlights of tiktoks, like it was just like.
Speaker 1: It was a compilation of funniest British tiktoks, which is
Speaker 1: actually pretty pretty funny if anyone needs to laugh. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so we separated the two parts instead of doing them
Speaker 1: straight off the back of each other. We've covered the
Speaker 1: career questions. We covered that's it, like we didn't do
Speaker 1: any other category wish honestly, and today's is a big
Speaker 1: juicy one. As we mentioned, left you on a cliffhanger.
Speaker 1: But before we get back into it, thank you also
Speaker 1: for all your incredible questions. We didn't do a fifth
Speaker 1: Q and a submission because we already have too many
Speaker 1: questions to get through and it's very popular and just
Speaker 1: not and he's very popular. And to back this up,
Speaker 1: so just as a quick little tidbit, I became a
Speaker 1: stylist and makeup hardest over the weekend and it was
Speaker 1: the best yay of my life. So, speaking of yays
Speaker 1: of our lives, neighborhood watch note for this weekend and
Speaker 1: went to a wedding and got a make cover, a
Speaker 1: yay kover a yay go. So you explained, that's so
Speaker 1: much to explain.
Speaker 2: Sarah knows that I think there's a misconception. Although actually no,
Speaker 2: it's a problems.
Speaker 1: It's a conception.
Speaker 2: What's what would you call it? A conception? What did
Speaker 2: you call it? Was not a mis it's a true conception. Well,
Speaker 2: there's not much to concept from. So it's like I
Speaker 2: clearly don't like for a long time, I was like
Speaker 2: an active actory all the time because I whatever yellow.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, but I actually really enjoy
Speaker 2: getting dressed up, which Sarah does actually know. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: people were like, oh, like you must hate it, and
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I just don't do it often.
Speaker 1: No, But you used to be like a fashionista.
Speaker 2: You only know that because I tell you and you're
Speaker 2: just photo photos.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I used to love, like when I was early in
Speaker 2: high school. I still love like wearing whatever like indie
Speaker 2: and shop clothes or whatever. And then I just got
Speaker 2: cycling and then I never really walked clothes again. But
Speaker 2: then rocking around Nate straight up nude, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've just gone like.
Speaker 1: Full active wear. Yeah, but not just active, like not
Speaker 1: even going out active wear. You know, that's like going out.
Speaker 1: You've got your going out active. Everyone who's listening, I
Speaker 1: hope you relate to this. I feel like we all do.
Speaker 1: There's like you're going out active where that's like nice,
Speaker 1: and then there's like you're active where that's like pilly
Speaker 1: the actively wear pills, Like that's me sing stinky. A
Speaker 1: few interventions like get off my bed, go and have
Speaker 1: a shower.
Speaker 2: You fucking gross the cop like two boxing sessions and
Speaker 2: around like hugging Sarah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, get of me. I love you.
Speaker 2: So I had a wedding on the weekend and yeah,
Speaker 2: normally I kind of just like whatever, but someone I
Speaker 2: was like, no, like what to see? I want to
Speaker 2: see what Sarah has, which normally I'm like, I would
Speaker 2: not fit it, but I was like, you know, there's
Speaker 2: probably things that are stretchy that could probably fit.
Speaker 1: And we kind of raid my wardrobe regularly. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then so we like finalized a few, tried
Speaker 2: on a few, fell in love with one, and I
Speaker 2: was like, this is it was.
Speaker 1: A whole you screenshot of things from back like two years.
Speaker 2: I like this this, so it's like I don't I
Speaker 2: don't happen to have that anymore?
Speaker 1: Why no? On rotation?
Speaker 2: So and also funny because you know how you normally
Speaker 2: Pinterest or like save a whole bunch of people's looks
Speaker 2: and things mine wall just I don't look exactly like this,
Speaker 2: exactly exactly like this.
Speaker 1: And then like over the course of three catch ups,
Speaker 1: I brought up and you try them on and then
Speaker 1: be like, can you like bring this? And I was like,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with the other?
Speaker 2: True and the only person I like know and trust
Speaker 2: and love to do my makeup and hair well, partly
Speaker 2: because I just wouldn't even know how to do it,
Speaker 2: and secondly like Sarah just knows me and what I
Speaker 2: like and like how I like to be comfortable. So
Speaker 2: she rocked up. I was like, m joke and I
Speaker 2: can do it. Before she did you like ditch a
Speaker 2: birthday party, organize the whole like space like how to
Speaker 2: chairitady chair in the natural law charity like organized where
Speaker 2: I possibly could take my perform and after video.
Speaker 1: I hadn't tried pod for that. I read your eyes
Speaker 1: so chry ready.
Speaker 2: Literally it was such a service. And then we had
Speaker 2: forty five minutes, like strictly forty five minutes. Did all
Speaker 2: of my hair again. The inspo was just like previous
Speaker 2: postal Sarah, it's being like, what about this one? And
Speaker 2: then like glammed me up and it was actually a
Speaker 2: proper I think previous time you've done like my makeup
Speaker 2: and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was nice.
Speaker 2: It was like for physio ball and whatever, but this
Speaker 2: time actually felt very elegant and very like I was
Speaker 2: telling you this before. I was like very confident in
Speaker 2: my skin, very comfortable, and also like easy, breezy, cover girl,
Speaker 2: beautiful cover girl. At the same time, I don't say
Speaker 2: the word, but I was hot.
Speaker 1: So she goes last night and I was like, why
Speaker 1: were you so tired? It's heart being hot, okay, being
Speaker 1: hot all again, but you actually looked amazing. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is a testament. So two things. One is the text
Speaker 1: from my mom, So of course I took the photos
Speaker 1: and then I sent them to my mom and my
Speaker 1: aunties because Andrew's like their adopted other daughter. I didn't
Speaker 1: get a reply, but she texted you straight away, going,
Speaker 1: you look like you're in your skin. You're just glowing.
Speaker 1: But the real proper like measure of how intense this
Speaker 1: was is I sent it to Nick Goes, which is
Speaker 1: so cute because he knew I set up the room
Speaker 1: and everything. Yeah, he goes, how's the makeup going, like,
Speaker 1: because he knows I get really excited to do it.
Speaker 1: And I sent a picture back and he goes, instead
Speaker 1: of like, oh she doesn't.
Speaker 2: Look like a boy today, he always because that's how
Speaker 2: that's how he like shows me love. Yeah. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: like his little sister. So he's like, it can't be
Speaker 2: too nice to her cool nice oh yeah yeah, good.
Speaker 1: One or something or like thumbs up emoji. He goes,
Speaker 1: oh wow, And I was like, I know, oh wow,
Speaker 1: like the transformations many ohs, many do w's and backhanded
Speaker 1: like yeah, it was insult and so I screenshot immediately
Speaker 1: and sent it to you, even though I definitely not
Speaker 1: meant to do that, but it was like and then your.
Speaker 2: Parents, my parents, No, my parents' responses were I'm so
Speaker 2: proud of you, like as in, so proud of you
Speaker 2: for looking like a human. I was like, thank you.
Speaker 1: And then your mom was like, you look like Sarah.
Speaker 2: Literally, your parents are so proud that two things came true.
Speaker 2: That you look like me. It's true, but I didn't
Speaker 2: grow up with my parents one me they're proud of me. Ever,
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I were a dressed like, I'm
Speaker 2: so proud of me.
Speaker 1: I know, it's not like you graduate yet or you're
Speaker 1: like top of your class, so you like rode from
Speaker 1: Adelaide to Melbourne. It's you look like Sarah today. But
Speaker 1: the engagement, even on my stories of you was like unbelievable.
Speaker 1: This is how popular you are. Like literally everyone who
Speaker 1: is so invested in you. People I have never commented before,
Speaker 1: they're like, she looks so pretty, like as in they
Speaker 1: know what you look like and they knew the transformation.
Speaker 1: And I even got wow, I didn't know she was
Speaker 1: a sex kitten. Well what was that? I don't know,
Speaker 1: but that leads us really nicely to relationships because you
Speaker 1: are a sex.
Speaker 2: Okay, great, but what's one thing I have to say.
Speaker 2: The wedding was beautiful. It's actually about Fitz. I love
Speaker 2: an a Door so much. It was such a beautiful
Speaker 2: wedding and so much happiness.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and random six roys of separation. You know
Speaker 1: Organic Crew, the really beautiful Bam that's her cousin. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Mel was there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh I didn't even really Yeah.
Speaker 1: So she I think you've seen you know the yeah,
Speaker 1: the organic cotton and everything. So there's this beautiful brand
Speaker 1: that's founded by an incredible Malvine woman called Mel and
Speaker 1: since matcha maiden the very very early days, we did
Speaker 1: a lot of work together. She does a lot of
Speaker 1: work with two other women who I love, you guys know,
Speaker 1: Sarah from Organica who does my hair and her incredible
Speaker 1: organic natural salon in Elwood and Carton is amazing. And
Speaker 1: then Danielle from Simple as That Skin, who has yet
Speaker 1: incredible skincare range, also natural organic, just beautiful. Us four
Speaker 1: I have like known each other for years. And Nat
Speaker 1: from Green Street anyway, I didn't twig that she has
Speaker 1: the same surname. I just forgot, but I was on
Speaker 1: her page, and I was like, that wedding looks really familiar.
Speaker 2: I wish I remember what I have gone said, Hi, I.
Speaker 1: Know what a small world.
Speaker 2: Yeah okay, so okay.
Speaker 1: Anyway, so we are up to the relationship section, speaking
Speaker 1: of weddings, relationship section of Andre's questions, which is the
Speaker 1: bombshell section. This is the cliffhanger that we left you on,
Speaker 1: the stress, the cliffhanger on which.
Speaker 2: We left you.
Speaker 1: So let's start with some of the like fast fire,
Speaker 1: easy ones, how many excess do you.
Speaker 2: Have one one actual X? Yeah makes sense? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: and then we never really get to the point to
Speaker 2: become relationship to X if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, okay. And that was the one that like
Speaker 1: you actually launched hard launched on Instagram. I guess, so yeah,
Speaker 1: and then yeah that was and then and then it
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, okay, okay, this is interesting question.
Speaker 1: Stats show single women are happier and live longer than
Speaker 1: coupled up women. Do you agree or disagree? You've lived
Speaker 1: for like a minute, so I don't feel like you qualified.
Speaker 2: Eighty years of relationship. It's a really interesting question. I
Speaker 2: actually I've had the discussion a lot recently, But I
Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like I believe both that
Speaker 2: you can have a really thriving life with a partner
Speaker 2: so long as it's a partner that you really do
Speaker 2: love and want to be with, and that betters you
Speaker 2: because I feel like perhaps with a lot of relationships
Speaker 2: are there because it's their content in it, which is
Speaker 2: very different to being you know, like it's a relationship
Speaker 2: where it's like a you get you're a better person
Speaker 2: from it, you grow together. But then I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: but if it is a very like content type relationship,
Speaker 2: then you are actually probably better off being single and
Speaker 2: getting that kind of love in companionship from your friends.
Speaker 2: The only thing that you, guys, I guess lose is
Speaker 2: like an intimacy or romantic like your physical intimacy. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I actually kind of believe both. I think if you're
Speaker 2: in the right relationship, yeah, one hundred percent, being with
Speaker 2: someone's always being better. Like you, like we've spoken about this,
Speaker 2: you don't ever need someone, but having someone can make
Speaker 2: your life so much better. Yeah, if it's the right person.
Speaker 2: So totally.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So something that's come up a lot. I can't
Speaker 1: remember if we spoke about this in the last episode
Speaker 1: or not, but something that's come up a lot in
Speaker 1: the last little while for me with either people who
Speaker 1: are single and struggling on the dating scene or people
Speaker 1: who are in long term relationships and are entering that
Speaker 1: first sort of hurdle phase of oh my gosh, relationships
Speaker 1: are hard. You know that, like everyone gets to a
Speaker 1: bit where the novelty wears off and the honeymoon period,
Speaker 1: you know, and you have to like start to work
Speaker 1: hard at it. The analogy that has helped me enormously
Speaker 1: personally but also in all of these conversations is the
Speaker 1: pie chart analogy, where every person represents their own pie chart,
Speaker 1: and there's certain areas where you're really really strong and
Speaker 1: certain areas where you're not as strong. And what people
Speaker 1: need to look for in a partner is the person who,
Speaker 1: like you're never necessarily going to find the one hundred
Speaker 1: percent package, they might become your hundred percent package over
Speaker 1: years of working towards the same thing, but probably on
Speaker 1: the street, you're just not going to find someone who
Speaker 1: ticks all your boxes, but all they have to tick
Speaker 1: is the ones that you really care about, because our
Speaker 1: priority is all different, which is why you know some
Speaker 1: people will be like, Oh, you guys have so much
Speaker 1: adventure and blah blah blah, and then you know and
Speaker 1: that they like that, but they have all the other things,
Speaker 1: you know. I feel like if you start to look
Speaker 1: at your relationship and yourself as a pie chart, and
Speaker 1: you get like the thing you prioritize, the things that
Speaker 1: you really care about and the others you can work
Speaker 1: on over time. You know what your non negotiables are
Speaker 1: and you distinguish those from the things that aren't as
Speaker 1: important to you. And also that you're not always looking
Speaker 1: for someone to fill all of your gaps. You need
Speaker 1: to feel those yourself and then come to the table.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's why this is a mass generalization,
Speaker 1: but I've the question is really interesting for me because
Speaker 1: I feel like, particularly in second relationships and often second marriages,
Speaker 1: it seems as though men's pattern is often to use
Speaker 1: their partner to fill the parts of their pie chart
Speaker 1: that aren't full, whereas women who have been married before
Speaker 1: and then go into their post first relationship life, they
Speaker 1: often don't repartner because they learn to fill those gaps
Speaker 1: with their girlfriends or with other areas of their life,
Speaker 1: so they don't go straight into needing another partner, which
Speaker 1: is why I think the question was why to single women,
Speaker 1: the stats show that they're happier and longer. I think
Speaker 1: it's because they find how to fill their pie chart
Speaker 1: without the relationship and be independent of that, and then
Speaker 1: the relationship is such a bonus. It brings so much
Speaker 1: depth to your life, but you don't need it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, I don't know what the scientific basis is
Speaker 1: for that. It's just I like pies well as pie
Speaker 1: charts are.
Speaker 2: Pretty, and as you guys are, this is actually quite
Speaker 2: a science backed podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we definitely all my Sarah theory. So we also
Speaker 1: have this thing called Sarah theory where I try and
Speaker 1: explain everything based on something that's from my own random
Speaker 1: brain and has no scientific backing whatsoever. But the pie
Speaker 1: chat analogy has really helped people recently where they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for my partner to feel all of the
Speaker 1: pie chart and they really only need to meet seventy
Speaker 1: five percent of my non negotiables and then the others
Speaker 1: we can work on.
Speaker 2: That's exactly how they say it.
Speaker 1: My part chart is not full, but.
Speaker 2: Now it is.
Speaker 1: He I'm a very visual person, you are, and that
Speaker 1: really helps me anyway. Okay, so there are some really
Speaker 1: interesting questions about Nick and I which snuck into this.
Speaker 1: I leave those two laughter. No, no, no, till after your bombshell,
Speaker 1: because I think that's more my bombshell. It's more important,
Speaker 1: it's more important. But firstly, some more and fast fire
Speaker 1: questions which I don't know why they're in this section.
Speaker 1: What is it like to sweat from your nose?
Speaker 2: Only I don't know what that's in this section either
Speaker 2: from relationships because.
Speaker 1: It impacts your relationships deeply.
Speaker 2: It's it is hard work, you know, Like I don't
Speaker 2: really answer the question, what's it like? It's it's wet,
Speaker 2: it's sweaty.
Speaker 1: From Daddy Kennedy.
Speaker 2: I have no idea I reckons from Jenna or something.
Speaker 2: Sure was seeing about the sweaty nose.
Speaker 1: Small shout out to Danny Kennedy, who also records his
Speaker 1: incredible fitness and lifestyle podcast from Annotate Agency where we
Speaker 1: are right now. Kane has listened to. Kane sits in
Speaker 1: on all our episodes. By the way, poor guy, I know,
Speaker 1: honestly a bullshit. He gets Danny's proper science backed fitness,
Speaker 1: proper interviews, and then our absolute chaos. Danny often has
Speaker 1: pointed out, because he's trained with both of us. Many
Speaker 1: times he's like, wow, you guys really crack a sweat
Speaker 1: straight on your nose and nowhere else.
Speaker 2: Literally, it's only on my nostrils. Yeah, actually, I like.
Speaker 1: Everyone nostrils, like on your nose.
Speaker 4: Nose.
Speaker 2: Pause. Actually I sweat everywhere, but my nose paws are intense.
Speaker 2: And the only thing it does affect with my dating
Speaker 2: is sometimes when I'm like a bit sweaty and then
Speaker 2: we have to the door spill smooth.
Speaker 1: It's a bit sweaty, so you have to like blot
Speaker 1: your nose first before I pash.
Speaker 2: I'll do it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, Danny has actually like we send him photo
Speaker 1: sometimes of just because our nose breaks first. That's what
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 2: It's actually sometimes it's the only part of the body
Speaker 2: that sweats. It's like it's like maybe someone grafted my
Speaker 2: armpit hair on my nose. I mean, okay, next question,
Speaker 2: next question, that's really sides back.
Speaker 1: Okay, personality your looks ah, it's such an easy one
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 2: Look current relationship. It's personality.
Speaker 1: No, I think it's really nice. Into The next question
Speaker 1: is and dating anyone? Oh, my god, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's a.
Speaker 2: Way more excited about this that I am.
Speaker 1: Not act cool.
Speaker 2: I feel like because she's my big sisters, it's so hot.
Speaker 1: I am either your big sister, your daughter, or your mom.
Speaker 1: It changes all the time. Side note how much was
Speaker 1: either proud mom at the school form or taking all
Speaker 1: the photos like okay, come in the good light, take okay,
Speaker 1: post this way. Oh my god sends me. My friends
Speaker 1: are uploading it. To my face, I was your mom.
Speaker 2: I was like, I actually do have to go because okay,
Speaker 2: don't worry about it. And so if you put your
Speaker 2: backs down here, just a quick one, just one in
Speaker 2: front of the house, front, in the doorway. The moms
Speaker 2: are like in the garden, in the garden, straight to
Speaker 2: the garden.
Speaker 1: This will look really nice. I'll frame it.
Speaker 2: Hold this, hold this flower.
Speaker 1: Back to my excitement. Is in a relationship? Okay, keep going,
Speaker 1: that's the question. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So the other thing she does when she really cares
Speaker 1: about something and is like really invested is instead of
Speaker 1: being like this fountain of words, she goes I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm always like, how's it going? And she goes, well,
Speaker 1: what do you want to know? Which is like the
Speaker 1: weirdest answer because Ange never doesn't just word vomit everything.
Speaker 1: She'll go no, but what specifically, And I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, you're not a shy girl. I'm so shy.
Speaker 1: Okay, so tell us about this relationship, Like, what do
Speaker 1: you disclaimer for the respect of your partner who is
Speaker 1: not really in the podcast?
Speaker 2: That's not real, that's just.
Speaker 1: Imaginary, which is also fine because inclusivity a for all.
Speaker 2: No, I think I've actually always been a private person about.
Speaker 1: My relationship life. You're not going to name names or
Speaker 1: anything but her name name, because there is a name.
Speaker 2: There is not even real. Yeah, I've never been really
Speaker 2: opened about my dating life. I feel like because I'm
Speaker 2: opening that so much of my life, it's the one
Speaker 2: part of my life that I kind of protect.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, your legs are open, but you're not
Speaker 1: open about.
Speaker 2: Legs. It's because I have a chunky trunks. I just
Speaker 2: don't cross.
Speaker 1: I can't cross my legs. No, sorry, I'm deflecting.
Speaker 2: No, we've been together for like like since August, so
Speaker 2: a little wow. It's very loving, it's very healthy. So
Speaker 2: you're really waiting for me, it's really to drop this.
Speaker 2: It's we didn't practice this.
Speaker 1: No we didn't, but that's even better because this is
Speaker 1: really momentous and I must say I'm very humbled that
Speaker 1: you are happy to do it here.
Speaker 2: No, it's so fine. And also because I said to you,
Speaker 2: I think we have to appreciate all stages of relationships.
Speaker 2: You can't just like talk about it when it's like
Speaker 2: really good and really secure, because that's not always like
Speaker 2: it's not always like that, you know anyway, So but
Speaker 2: together since like like kind of dating since August, and
Speaker 2: I've been I've always been a very like open person
Speaker 2: with like people, and I don't you know me, I
Speaker 2: don't like labels. I feel like labels confine you to
Speaker 2: a group that means you can't be fluid and move around.
Speaker 2: But Sarah's always known that kind I've been quite open
Speaker 2: with in terms of like who like I would go for,
Speaker 2: not like there's a specific type or anything. But I've
Speaker 2: never been like closed minded to any kind of like
Speaker 2: gender or sexuality or anything like that. I think in
Speaker 2: the past probably i've like defaulted like dating guys and things,
Speaker 2: but I've never been closed off to the idea of
Speaker 2: like exploring everything else. So yeah, well, I am in
Speaker 2: like a same sex relationship with a girl, and I
Speaker 2: love it very much and it's all very nice.
Speaker 1: You said you love her.
Speaker 2: No, actually I said, like, like, I think you should
Speaker 2: make that clear. So we we just like like each other.
Speaker 1: We had been through so I found out in the
Speaker 1: light in the not saying the L word phase, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: like we.
Speaker 2: You'd say true.
Speaker 1: Okay, bye, Sarah, I love you okay by person, I
Speaker 1: like you.
Speaker 2: I was so cute conscious effort to say you were, like,
Speaker 2: I love you more than a friend a friend.
Speaker 1: But I think what's really interesting about you is that
Speaker 1: it wasn't like it was something you needed to tell
Speaker 1: me because you had never been in the same sexual
Speaker 1: relationship before. But it also wasn't something that you needed
Speaker 1: to tell me in that you'd never actually been hetero
Speaker 1: before either. You'd kind of always just been this person
Speaker 1: who never saw gender or like. I think one thing
Speaker 1: I love about you so much is you don't really
Speaker 1: see age race, like you just see people. You've always
Speaker 1: seen people, and you have never discriminated between Like you
Speaker 1: get really attracted to personalities and even in your friendships,
Speaker 1: like I don't think you see people's the features that
Speaker 1: put them in boxes. Otherwise in society, you don't really
Speaker 1: see them. You've always seen beyond them, and so it
Speaker 1: kind of wasn't really even something. It wasn't even really
Speaker 1: an announced I was just like, ah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Think that's why when I was telling you about her,
Speaker 2: I was like, it wasn't actually a high. It was
Speaker 2: in like a coming out situation. It was like, Hi,
Speaker 2: I actually like someone. This is the person. It was.
Speaker 2: It was an announcement of me being like dating someone
Speaker 2: a relationship or liking someone, as opposed to like, oh,
Speaker 2: by the way, it's like the gender was the reveal.
Speaker 2: It was. The reveal was actually just more about the
Speaker 2: fact that I was like really liked someone. And so
Speaker 2: it was like and I the response that I got
Speaker 2: from all of my first mates when I told them
Speaker 2: was exactly what I thought it was going to be.
Speaker 2: It was like excited, not because they thought that I
Speaker 2: was like coming out or anything. It was excited because
Speaker 2: I was like actually like giddy about.
Speaker 1: Something, which I don't often totally.
Speaker 2: I'm not often like I'm not that I'm hard to please,
Speaker 2: but I am a little bit hard to please in
Speaker 2: that sense totally.
Speaker 1: It was such a conversation of like, like I think
Speaker 1: you maybe thought it was gonna be a bigger deal
Speaker 1: like that that like you were like it's a girl, yeah,
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh.
Speaker 2: My god, you like somebody? Yeah, yeah, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, and just like okay, and but like that's
Speaker 2: not contextual. I guess this is. I don't know. I
Speaker 2: didn't really think about this deeply in terms of like
Speaker 2: us talking about this on here, because I've just never
Speaker 2: been a one to be like like coming out or
Speaker 2: whatever whatever. But like I would say, memberism, like a
Speaker 2: lot of my family wouldn't even know, because my cousins,
Speaker 2: a lot of my friends, like some people that I've told,
Speaker 2: they're like, oh my god, I didn't know you were that,
Speaker 2: Like I didn't know that's what And I was like,
Speaker 2: what do you mean? Like what an? I think it's
Speaker 2: been a very interesting experience about how people respond to
Speaker 2: the conversation, like if some people just don't respond because
Speaker 2: it's so normalized and it's so whatever. Yeah, and then
Speaker 2: some people are like, oh, I didn't know that. It
Speaker 2: was like, oh, sorry, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I was out and yeah, but
Speaker 1: like you weren't in any I don't.
Speaker 2: Feel like this isn't in or out, which is why
Speaker 2: I think I haven't really properly thought about how others
Speaker 2: might perceive this conversation because I really don't believe in
Speaker 2: the whole coming out thing, because I don't feel like
Speaker 2: you should all have to. But at the same time,
Speaker 2: I can appreciate sometimes for people coming out, it's very
Speaker 2: liberating and feels like they can finally be themselves and
Speaker 2: like openly. So yeah, I do don't really think this
Speaker 2: is like I think this was more a discussion of
Speaker 2: like whoever I was dating, And yeah, I think it'll
Speaker 2: come to a surprise to a lot of people that
Speaker 2: maybe don't know me as deeply as you might know me.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's all very lovely, it's all very nice,
Speaker 2: it's all very healthy. Yeah, I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it is really interesting that you're very
Speaker 1: We've had this conversation before about like you shouldn't need
Speaker 1: to come out, particularly if you weren't not out before.
Speaker 1: But I also think we had this conversation on Feast
Speaker 1: recently that for some people who were in the closet
Speaker 1: for themselves, like or not in the closet, sorry, who
Speaker 1: hadn't even come to that realization in their own identity.
Speaker 1: Coming out allows them to draw a line in the
Speaker 1: sand in their identity of like, I didn't know who
Speaker 1: I was before, and now this is who I am. Like,
Speaker 1: sometimes labels are limiting and confining, but sometimes I think
Speaker 1: they're helpful when people want to acknowledge a big shift.
Speaker 1: Whereas for you, I don't think there was a shift.
Speaker 1: I think you just found a new person who you
Speaker 1: fell in love with, and they just happened to be
Speaker 1: a different gender to the last person you were in
Speaker 1: a relationship with. Do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: it wasn't a big shift for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think I can see both sides. Like
Speaker 2: for me, I find a label for me really confining.
Speaker 2: But then again, it's the same concept as when people
Speaker 2: ask me, you know, what are you going to be
Speaker 2: in five years? I was like, I don't know. I
Speaker 2: find that question really like restricting because then if I
Speaker 2: say something, I feel like I have to hold that
Speaker 2: to truth and I have to go towards that path,
Speaker 2: and it means I got really delineate if something does happen.
Speaker 2: And the same with this, like I'm like if the
Speaker 2: minute you're kind of given a label people put you
Speaker 2: in that box, particularly with sexuality, and then you can't
Speaker 2: be fluid about that. And then if you go the
Speaker 2: other way, they're like, oh no, like she's but she's
Speaker 2: but she's like a lesbian. But you're like, well, like
Speaker 2: what if you know, it's a very fluid thing, you know,
Speaker 2: So I just don't put a label. And I kind
Speaker 2: of doesn't, like, I just am like, I don't even
Speaker 2: know what I am. So I'm kind of just am
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 1: You are foot, Yeah, I'm foot. You're your own category.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I can actually appreciate for a lot of
Speaker 2: people it brings like this beautiful sense of like home
Speaker 2: and belonging to a group and so like it's a
Speaker 2: personal thing for me with the whole label's thing, But yeah,
Speaker 2: I can appreciate both sides of it. I just hope
Speaker 2: that when people, maybe some of the people listening, that
Speaker 2: it's I think, not to assume someone's sexually just because
Speaker 2: of who they're dating. Yeah, because it's quite common for
Speaker 2: people to be like, Okay, well now that you're a lesbian.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, because it's not like not really case
Speaker 2: and I've never said that, and just because you're dating
Speaker 2: someone on the same sex. It doesn't necessarily mean that
Speaker 2: you're one way, like you're only one way, only the
Speaker 2: other way. Yeah, you know, like it's really easy. And
Speaker 2: I think I used to do it as well. Like
Speaker 2: the minute see someone with the same seat, they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: that that person's gay. Yeah, when like it's so it's
Speaker 2: like there's all these a big spectrum of like what
Speaker 2: you are and can be.
Speaker 1: It's LGBT.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Sarah, I thought, cue I did it.
Speaker 1: It was curious. I did it. I just said something
Speaker 1: and then I said it again.
Speaker 2: I was like eight for.
Speaker 1: Ally allies, Oh my god. And then you were like,
Speaker 1: that's not even what Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Is so great.
Speaker 1: But what's really interesting is, yeah, I think being in
Speaker 1: the moment because a lot of my friends who have
Speaker 1: come out or not come out or have you know,
Speaker 1: sit on that spectrum of sexuality. I've known them since
Speaker 1: I've been in the identity therein now I hadn't hadn't
Speaker 1: been there in the process of people around them finding
Speaker 1: out and responding. It's been really interesting to watch people
Speaker 1: respond to you and try and be like okay, so
Speaker 1: are you buy now, Like yeah, you're out now, and yeah,
Speaker 1: it's sure, it's stude. I'm just like I just fell
Speaker 1: in love with someone, Like that's it.
Speaker 2: It's like I'm just in a relationship. But and yeah,
Speaker 2: like it is same sexy, Like there's a lot of
Speaker 2: learnings and there's like lots of nuances, but it's like
Speaker 2: learning a lot of learnings. You've had a lot of
Speaker 2: I've had a lot of learnings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, even I have had like some moments me things.
Speaker 1: Experimentation means I know a little bit more like genuinely at.
Speaker 2: Least I was like this and this and this. I
Speaker 2: was like, wait, well, how do you know that? And
Speaker 2: she's like, well, you know, I'm an ally in the
Speaker 2: longer younger days. Curious no, like yeah, because I know
Speaker 2: it's new, but it's not new. You know, it feels
Speaker 2: very safe and comfortable, but it's new in that I think, Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's nuances of being in the same sex relationship that
Speaker 2: you learn. And she's been really great, like really really great.
Speaker 2: I love her.
Speaker 1: She passed the best friend, which would be intimidating to
Speaker 1: like walk into us being it's true our own weird
Speaker 1: life so stupid.
Speaker 2: So we're so like we will have this like dinner
Speaker 2: and then so and I get out our little stupid things.
Speaker 2: We were like Google and hysterically laughing.
Speaker 1: And there were like other guests there we did not
Speaker 1: know who we should have paved better, could not hold
Speaker 1: it together over Google. It like, it's not even that
Speaker 1: funny when we.
Speaker 2: Tried to, it's not at all. And it was in
Speaker 2: a public space, I know, And we were like, we
Speaker 2: tried to hold it together, but our like shoulders were shaking,
Speaker 2: our nostrils were.
Speaker 1: Flaring, nostrils flaring. And then she goes, I'm so glad
Speaker 1: you have Sarah, because like no one else would.
Speaker 2: Understand, Like, no one, I'm so relieved because I'm so
Speaker 2: relieved because you have someone that can match your energy.
Speaker 1: I feel like when people like, what's the secret to
Speaker 1: yours and Nick's long life relationship, I'm like, and it's
Speaker 1: an out and an outlet and a safe space. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a question that wasn't on the list because obviously
Speaker 1: before this announcement, people wouldn't have the context for this question.
Speaker 1: And separate to anything about sexuality, I feel like, in
Speaker 1: terms of the societal need to categorize and put people
Speaker 1: in like boxes and have certainty and all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff in the age bracket we're in and there's
Speaker 1: like weddings and babies and like so much timeline pressure.
Speaker 1: And even off the back of our last episode about
Speaker 1: work career pressure and stuff, have you found Like I
Speaker 1: know that you had a little bit of trouble at
Speaker 1: the start with like the what are we like where
Speaker 1: are we going the future? Versus the have you felt
Speaker 1: pressure like as soon as you're in a relationship to
Speaker 1: like settle down or like know what you are or
Speaker 1: put labels like are we governor and government or are
Speaker 1: we like just seeing each other? Like do we love
Speaker 1: each other? Like it's been so long since I went
Speaker 1: from dating someone to like making it official to like,
Speaker 1: you know, like how have you navigated that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the start of the whole like what
Speaker 2: are we I actually like I probably didn't think about
Speaker 2: a huge amount into weeds actually start discussing a little
Speaker 2: bit more like her and I. It wasn't really on
Speaker 2: the forefront because I kind of was like we are
Speaker 2: what we are and it's kind of really nice at
Speaker 2: the minute. And then like the same thing with the
Speaker 2: whole label thing, I'm like, it doesn't I don't think
Speaker 2: it really changes much. And then I was like, actually, no,
Speaker 2: maybe it doesn't change anything, but it's just like a
Speaker 2: symbolic thing for us to be like, yeah, we really
Speaker 2: like each other and we'll be you know, this will
Speaker 2: be a nice thing to do or whatever it is.
Speaker 2: But navigating that at the start wasn't too hard because
Speaker 2: I think you do everything quite intuitively because you're both
Speaker 2: in this kind of like honey Mooney type like really
Speaker 2: new novel really whiches out of Simham a giant literally
Speaker 2: like almost swallowed her teeth because I was trying to
Speaker 2: keep it quiet.
Speaker 1: Say it like that, but if my brain came out,
Speaker 1: that's not going to be our new Google hit.
Speaker 2: That is not gonna be it. She created a really
Speaker 2: safe space for me to like navigate the whole thing,
Speaker 2: and so I never really felt pressure. I think a
Speaker 2: periods you get like scared as you would normally because
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, actually I feel things and I'm feeling
Speaker 2: feels that, and then you start you realize you care
Speaker 2: a lot for this person, and then that's becomes a
Speaker 2: bit scary in terms of committing. But that the fear
Speaker 2: more comes from what everyone always thinks about, which is
Speaker 2: like what if it doesn't work out? Yeah, and then
Speaker 2: what if it doesn't work out?
Speaker 1: And then I've gone all in and and like you
Speaker 1: want to protect a bit of here, but then you're
Speaker 1: like if I don't go We had the all in conversation, well.
Speaker 2: Like I kind of I kind of reserved myself from
Speaker 2: like I feel real all in thing and for a while,
Speaker 2: not like consciously, but I was like, I'm just going
Speaker 2: with the flow. And it was really nice to just
Speaker 2: go with the flow. And we still are very much
Speaker 2: going with the flow, which is why I think it's
Speaker 2: really healthy. And the all in was more coming from
Speaker 2: me stopping worrying about the future as opposed to like,
Speaker 2: here is all of my in every single introvan and
Speaker 2: I'm gonna shower you with it like I'm gonna love bombing.
Speaker 2: It was more all in to be like stop worrying
Speaker 2: about what's gonna happen and just be like here right
Speaker 2: now and be like all for that, as opposed to
Speaker 2: like self sabotaging, which we spoke about a lot about
Speaker 2: which I definitely at the start was kind of thinking
Speaker 2: about and doing more so as a protective thing is being.
Speaker 1: Like, well, you're double guessing yourself everything.
Speaker 2: I was like things I normally really wouldn't care about
Speaker 2: because I'm just like me or whatever. I was like
Speaker 2: what if this? And what of that? And more so
Speaker 2: because you just start to care a little bit more
Speaker 2: and it actually means something. When it means something, you're
Speaker 2: like care because like, you know, my last relationship was
Speaker 2: really nice and it was really lovely, but I think
Speaker 2: it took me a while to like care to the
Speaker 2: extent that I do in this one, and so like
Speaker 2: more navigating those kinds of overwhelming really strong feelings and
Speaker 2: then the higher the reward, the higher the risk or
Speaker 2: whatever the risk high the reward type of thing as well,
Speaker 2: And that was like kind of like a it wasn't
Speaker 2: a blip balls, but it was definitely a discussion that
Speaker 2: I had to have with someone, like like with you
Speaker 2: and my birtht girlfriends, to be like, like, I need
Speaker 2: perspective because otherwise I'm too in this to really like
Speaker 2: take myself out and see everything that it.
Speaker 1: Is and thin it was with we're really both.
Speaker 2: Communicative, like we're really transparent and really good with telling
Speaker 2: each other where we are, which is why I think
Speaker 2: it's so healthy and so great. And that's something that
Speaker 2: she's taught me and she's really really amazing at creating
Speaker 2: a space where you can like talk about things without
Speaker 2: feeling judged, and we both are really good at like
Speaker 2: I've become more confident in doing that and so yeah,
Speaker 2: I guess it was like hard but not at the
Speaker 2: same time, and now we're just like in a really
Speaker 2: really great space or place for both of us.
Speaker 1: I think what was really interesting as a friend and mother.
Speaker 2: And grandmother and grandmother.
Speaker 1: And bnoy was to watch how in relation to your
Speaker 1: career or anything that's not relationship related, you never do that.
Speaker 1: You never double guess yourself, You never overthink the future,
Speaker 1: you never fear. Is never a kind of barrier that
Speaker 1: changes your behavior. And hadn't seen you do that in
Speaker 1: a while, And I was like, whoa dude, you don't
Speaker 1: do this in relation to anything else but in relationships,
Speaker 1: and this is just anyone listening. Because you're even more
Speaker 1: vulnerable you, I think sometimes like go into your shell
Speaker 1: even more and then overthink because it's like, oh it's
Speaker 1: going to be if it's too good to be true,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, you just overthink it a lot,
Speaker 1: and sometimes you need to talk yourself down the same
Speaker 1: way that you would about trying something in your career
Speaker 1: or going for a big dream. It's the same thing,
Speaker 1: and yet your behaviors were really different.
Speaker 2: Yeah. One of the things Seriou said to me was like,
Speaker 2: if someone came to you for business and advice, you
Speaker 2: just say you won't know until you try.
Speaker 1: Yeah, follow your heart, just like let it be.
Speaker 2: I was like, it's true.
Speaker 1: Let self doubt be the reason it doesn't work.
Speaker 2: Self doubt kills more dreams than failure. Ever, will just
Speaker 2: sees your Yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, So now that we have opened this beautiful work whole,
Speaker 1: and there were also quite a few questions for Nick
Speaker 1: and I as well, which kind of touch on the
Speaker 1: whole getting in your head about relationships, how you get
Speaker 1: over the hurd or blah blah blah, so many things.
Speaker 1: I feel like for Valentine's Day, which will be like
Speaker 1: after our break, not too many episodes in, we should
Speaker 1: do another relationships Q and A episode because if I
Speaker 1: get started on the Nick and I question, will you.
Speaker 2: Have to answer one of them? No? No, no, no one,
Speaker 2: just one quick.
Speaker 1: Fire okay, because we have still family slash Asian category
Speaker 1: vimb cycling and mindset slash life and travel.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, why don't you answer this really briefly and
Speaker 2: then in the Valentine's when you can expand on it.
Speaker 1: Okay, and for everyone else who has new follow up
Speaker 1: questions for and we will do relationships by question follow
Speaker 1: up episode.
Speaker 2: This is news to me too, guys and me and
Speaker 2: me and no, mainly it's like I have to listen
Speaker 2: to anyone everyone in this room ask about his.
Speaker 1: Relationships are like, Okay, bye.
Speaker 2: For Sarah, how did you know your relationship was right
Speaker 2: even though you so much time doing your own separate things.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a really interesting question, And I think that
Speaker 1: it's kind of the answer is in the question. I
Speaker 1: knew it was right because we can spend so much
Speaker 1: time doing our own separate things, and I never felt
Speaker 1: like restrained from doing that even in any relationship, including friendships.
Speaker 1: In my whole life, I've always been that person who
Speaker 1: loves travel, who loves to take up opportunities that involve
Speaker 1: being away and even exchanges, Like within the first three
Speaker 1: weeks of being together, I went away for six weeks
Speaker 1: on my first exchange. Then I came home for five months,
Speaker 1: and I went away for nearly a year. So from
Speaker 1: the beginning, I was like this is my passion traveling,
Speaker 1: learning languages, starting overseas. I wanted to work overseas, which
Speaker 1: I ended up doing, and he's interested were the same,
Speaker 1: and we fell into this ability to be. Like you've
Speaker 1: seen us, we are together. When we're together, we're together
Speaker 1: twenty four to seven. We work together, and most couples
Speaker 1: can't do that very well. Like we don't really need
Speaker 1: space from each other. We can be in the same
Speaker 1: room and not talk, or we can be in the
Speaker 1: same room and stimulating each other twenty four seven. We
Speaker 1: don't get sick of it. But then we also can
Speaker 1: be I can be in Antarctica doing my own thing,
Speaker 1: refinding my identity who I am, completely separately without literal
Speaker 1: signal to be able to call him for two weeks,
Speaker 1: and we're still really strong and fine. And I think
Speaker 1: the reason why we're like in our fourteenth year is
Speaker 1: because we can be like so in each other's pockets,
Speaker 1: but also allow each other the space to be like
Speaker 1: if you need to go away, like I've lived in
Speaker 1: Hong Kong for a year for my career because it
Speaker 1: was the best thing I could do. But for his career,
Speaker 1: he couldn't be in Hong Kong. So we just were like, well,
Speaker 1: how could we not allow each other that space to
Speaker 1: live apart for a year but still make it work?
Speaker 1: And I think that's why. I think if any of
Speaker 1: us had felt like we had to compromise on those
Speaker 1: things and we couldn't have each other's support, and it's
Speaker 1: swung in roundabouts. There's been times where he needed to
Speaker 1: be in the US for like most of a year.
Speaker 1: I think because in the pie chart, like freedom to
Speaker 1: travel and work and not necessarily need to both go
Speaker 1: all the time is a big priority. It kind of works. Whereas,
Speaker 1: of course there are other couples who only one person
Speaker 1: has that as a priority, it would be really hard
Speaker 1: to find the middle ground. But I think I knew
Speaker 1: that he was the one because we've always been.
Speaker 2: Able to do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and because when we came back then we could
Speaker 1: do the opposite as well. It wasn't like we're it's
Speaker 1: such a spectrum of low touch independence that then when
Speaker 1: we're together we're like, h yeah, we're like hey, I
Speaker 1: love you. Yeah, Okay. So there were lots of other
Speaker 1: follow up questions. Someone a few people actually have asked
Speaker 1: for a Nick return. It's been a while, so Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day three way episodes.
Speaker 2: I'll be the couple's therapist.
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, came, it's going to be a lock in.
Speaker 1: We're going to need twelve hours. It's going to be
Speaker 1: Joe Rogan. We're going to call Joe Rogan. Okay, bim
Speaker 1: family slash Asian hilarious, that that's what you call this.
Speaker 1: But also we've touched on this before in relation to academics.
Speaker 1: I think and like the cultural difference between us is
Speaker 1: that you had Asian parents and I didn't. Yes, So
Speaker 1: it's interesting to have this perspective. And I think, particularly
Speaker 1: now in relationship relationships, this hasn't even more depth than
Speaker 1: it would have when the person actually asked the question.
Speaker 1: So the first one was your family seemed so close knit,
Speaker 1: but did you ever feel dart Asian pressure? Though? Hilarious,
Speaker 1: dut dut. And also how do you deal with the
Speaker 1: pressure to get married and have a family, et cetera,
Speaker 1: particularly now that you're in a same sex relationship, how
Speaker 1: did you how do you navigate telling them I.
Speaker 2: Haven't told them, I.
Speaker 1: Have not, I have not and they do not listen to.
Speaker 2: That's fine, risk, but I don't also like things like
Speaker 2: fresh relationships. I don't tend to tell my parents like
Speaker 2: immediately anyway, like that takes time.
Speaker 1: To be a siblings though they all know, yeah they
Speaker 1: are not including me cool, Yeah it's true, but.
Speaker 2: They make parents, I mean Asian pressure. Yes, felt particularly
Speaker 2: in when I was a teenager, when I was in
Speaker 2: high school, But I was very thankful to older sisters
Speaker 2: growing up, and they kind of paved the way to
Speaker 2: kind of us be doing our own things explore the
Speaker 2: world in a very I guess Western way. So we
Speaker 2: kind of, like I guess in Asian Tiger parenting books,
Speaker 2: we were like a little bit rebellious that we didn't
Speaker 2: really listen to my parents if they were like academic
Speaker 2: academic academic like sports, sports, port, music, and so yeah,
Speaker 2: we kind of like liberated ourselves a little bit by
Speaker 2: biting the bullet and doing these things, and despite it
Speaker 2: being uncomfortable to have to do, because they were necessarily
Speaker 2: approving of it, we knew it was like we weren't
Speaker 2: being reckless. We were actually just like growing ourselves, and
Speaker 2: we knew that because we were doing that, they'd come
Speaker 2: around to it. And they did come around to it,
Speaker 2: Like we'd go overseas and they'd be like no, no, no,
Speaker 2: no no, and then we'd do it. They'll be like
Speaker 2: our daughters traveled with the world.
Speaker 1: By herself and it was our idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So like pressure definitely, but now not so much.
Speaker 2: The only pressure I feel is something maybe I feel
Speaker 2: myself that they necessarily they don't actually impose, and I
Speaker 2: don't think they do. Is the need of a status
Speaker 2: type job. And I think the reason why I've been
Speaker 2: to so slow to tell them I sign from physio
Speaker 2: to dell to casual is because I feel like they'd
Speaker 2: be sad that I'm not in this, you know, status
Speaker 2: related job anymore, which it's not even the cases. Kathin
Speaker 2: works in startups and stuff and they love that of her.
Speaker 2: So I think it's a self imposed, like ingrained thing
Speaker 2: from when I was younger, because it's not a status
Speaker 2: or like an academic or whatever.
Speaker 1: A prestigious, typical kind of eye.
Speaker 2: So I do feel it. But I think we were
Speaker 2: really great at holding ourselves to stay pretty true to
Speaker 2: us and have to just sit in the discomfort for
Speaker 2: a little bit to then be able to live pretty
Speaker 2: freely now.
Speaker 1: And what about the other family trajectory as well, because
Speaker 1: there are one two, three sisters, one brother, no grandchildren yet.
Speaker 1: But are they like putting the pressure.
Speaker 2: No, not as good pressure. Mom and dad love kids,
Speaker 2: and yes, I think like traditionally they would love to
Speaker 2: have grandchildren, love to keep the family name going and
Speaker 2: things like that. I think they've been become a bit
Speaker 2: more open. Like Kathin's also in the same sex relationship,
Speaker 2: and she's a lot older than I am, so I'm
Speaker 2: really grateful for her kind of paving the way.
Speaker 1: It's not that much older men the same eight years
Speaker 1: am I nine years. Okay, So this relationship started as
Speaker 1: Catherine and I being in the same level, being like
Speaker 1: as you guys know from earlier episodes, and then I
Speaker 1: just was like, oh, my maturity is like minus eight years,
Speaker 1: so I might as well moved to.
Speaker 2: The younger sister. Oh god. So yeah, there's always there's
Speaker 2: not pressure, but you can definitely like in the back
Speaker 2: of your mind you're like, yeah, they want one. And
Speaker 2: then being Asian, I think this is a very different
Speaker 2: topic that we'll probably speak on another time, but like
Speaker 2: you know, being Asian, there's really cultural and religious differences
Speaker 2: in terms of like same sex relationships and things like that,
Speaker 2: which is a whole nother thing. And yeah, they progressed
Speaker 2: a lot in the years, so it's been nice to see,
Speaker 2: but there's always like kind of underlying tones and things
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: So what about the moving out thing? So this was
Speaker 1: a specific question from a fellow Asian. Also, this is
Speaker 1: a mass generalization. Obviously not all families have Tiger parents.
Speaker 1: Obviously not every single most do the same parents.
Speaker 2: It's very likely that you do.
Speaker 1: How did your parents feel about you moving out? I'm
Speaker 1: literally a few straights away from mine, and I'm sure
Speaker 1: they don't mean it, but they do make me feel
Speaker 1: bad for not visiting often.
Speaker 2: So mom is like that. Mom was like when we
Speaker 2: all bought how she was like, I'm so happy, but
Speaker 2: I cry all night. I cry. I cry, And I
Speaker 2: was like why she goes all my children or my
Speaker 2: children going And I was like, well, we're gonna have to.
Speaker 2: And Dad's all like, go bye, see ya, And like secularly,
Speaker 2: he loves us when we come back home and we
Speaker 2: have weekly dinners so that as we are always like
Speaker 2: we visit often, but sometimes like if I don't see
Speaker 2: a mom for like one of the weekly dinners, Mom's
Speaker 2: like you don't even call me or text me. I
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, I love her. So she
Speaker 2: like misses the kids so much, but there was some
Speaker 2: pressure to like stay. They don't make us feel bad.
Speaker 2: Dad's very much like yeah, go, like he loves that
Speaker 2: we've all gone and done like the adult thing, and
Speaker 2: they also do love that we come home. And they're
Speaker 2: so proud that you look like me. Now the greatest milestone.
Speaker 1: Last family question. Your family is so cool. Who is
Speaker 1: your favorite cousin and why? And also related in terms
Speaker 1: of karaoke abilities, which your family does together often, how
Speaker 1: would you rank you and your siblings from best to
Speaker 1: not best?
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'll ask that one. And that was definitely
Speaker 2: one of your cousins was No, that was definitely Jen.
Speaker 2: Which one the karaoke family?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah? But also the favorite cousin one was probably Yeah.
Speaker 1: The cousin was probably Lynn, you know, because she answered
Speaker 1: all my stories. I was like, Lynn, that was you
Speaker 1: for sure?
Speaker 2: Okay, in that case, my favorite cousin is Lynn. But
Speaker 2: karaoke is Cavane's first. Actually, gonna take that back. Kavin
Speaker 2: is the best singer, but therefore she's the worst at
Speaker 2: karaoke because she sings too well.
Speaker 1: She takes it too seriously.
Speaker 2: She's too good. She harmonizes, Oh no, baby, you got
Speaker 2: to be a bit tracked, you be silly. So I'd
Speaker 2: say Jen for passion, a passionate passion. Sometimes text me
Speaker 2: about what are you doing and'll be like, my home
Speaker 2: goes okay, Matt Preston home karaoke. I would say Jen,
Speaker 2: and then myself. Actually, I think Justine first, Captains, then Jen, then.
Speaker 4: My Justine gets amongstne is amazing, and then Nick and
Speaker 4: Catherine equal last only because Nick Nick is beat here Nick,
Speaker 4: but Nicholso has passion, but he's K pop.
Speaker 2: He'll be like, maybe you're a fire your world.
Speaker 1: Like pop stars appearances up up the top, so if
Speaker 1: it's a pet and carry and choreography and choreography made
Speaker 1: me learn the BTS. I was like, okay, cool man.
Speaker 2: But Captain's only last because she's too good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she takes it too so, but what about roses
Speaker 1: a lot of solo.
Speaker 2: Mom is number one, definitely Dad's number two, and then
Speaker 2: the siblings in that order that I.
Speaker 1: Said, that's because your mom doesn't give anyone else in.
Speaker 2: My mom doesn't even know in her eyes when she
Speaker 2: sings like that's how into it.
Speaker 1: She is.
Speaker 2: Recorded her all the way up to her nostril, and
Speaker 2: she was like, if her bride over, her eyes closed,
Speaker 2: and when you.
Speaker 1: Guys aren't even there, she's still doing karaoke. Why yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: next section. I feel like again we have gone quick
Speaker 1: fire cycling tips to start cycling on the road. I
Speaker 1: really want to start cycling places, but I'm terrified of
Speaker 1: riding on the road. Very common I would say.
Speaker 2: Yes, start on roads that have really wide bicycle paths,
Speaker 2: for example Saint Kilda Road for example, that main one.
Speaker 2: I said, all the others of shit, anything that has
Speaker 2: really wide designated cycle pats. It was a really nice
Speaker 2: one to start in my tippers. Feel like you're a car.
Speaker 2: You belong on the road, like it's a shed. You're like,
Speaker 2: you're yeah, pretend you're a car.
Speaker 1: Be the car.
Speaker 2: You have to be the car, because otherwise, if the car,
Speaker 2: if you feel like you're a little person in the
Speaker 2: big wide world, it's very scary. So you got to
Speaker 2: think you're like big, big hulk. Anyway, Well, then not.
Speaker 1: Everyone has your chunky trunks.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's true, get chunky trunks too.
Speaker 1: Well. That leads to the next question. One of your
Speaker 1: best tips with improving your cycling fitness.
Speaker 2: Get bigger lace, I think, are you gotta do a
Speaker 2: mix if you want to? I think you just got
Speaker 2: you know, a bit like running, You've just got to
Speaker 2: do it consistently more. Find a seat that's comfortable. That's
Speaker 2: the other thing. I think people finally have bikes that
Speaker 2: aren't comfortable. That makes cycling a long period of time
Speaker 2: hard and that you feel like you're unfit. It's actually
Speaker 2: just the fit of your bike, the seat of your
Speaker 2: bike are all not right. So I'd actually say invest
Speaker 2: in a small bike fit. It could be a really
Speaker 2: cheap one, really quick one. But a lot of people
Speaker 2: are riding bikes that are way too bigger, way too small,
Speaker 2: and then it just caused a lot of discomfort.
Speaker 1: Please tell me you've got a funny cleat fail story.
Speaker 1: My poor ego is bruised after getting stuck in them
Speaker 1: at traffic lights. Was that Nicholas Davidson who submitted that question?
Speaker 2: No, because his was worse. He like slow mode, tried
Speaker 2: to fall, then he reached out for a pole and
Speaker 2: then his arms was too extended to like a car. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: he like try he was almost going to and then
Speaker 2: he reached out to the Yeah, that's right, and then
Speaker 2: his arms were too extended to do anything else, and
Speaker 2: so he had to like jold himself and I was
Speaker 2: just staying there laughing. No.
Speaker 1: Nick's worst cleat story is that on his Wahoo Kicker
Speaker 1: at home in lockdown station stationary bike with locked in,
Speaker 1: he went too hard because he was competing against other
Speaker 1: people online, fell off the bike, broke it chipped. It
Speaker 1: was this massive crash. Hell, he's like still attached to
Speaker 1: the bike on the side on the floor. Was the best.
Speaker 2: No, worst cleat story. I was on Curfin Road doing
Speaker 2: beach Roo and I came back and it was a
Speaker 2: turning lane and I went to go and then I
Speaker 2: fell off on the side, so everyone behind me missed
Speaker 2: the turning light. Got up, back up, ready to go
Speaker 2: again for the next turning light, went to pedal. My
Speaker 2: didn't realize that my gears had come off, like my
Speaker 2: chain to come off. Fell again to the second game
Speaker 2: that day. No, that was fell off again. So these
Speaker 2: cars had missed two turning lights in Albert Park. Go
Speaker 2: for it again, come on again, ready to rock. Literally
Speaker 2: can't get my clique in in time. And then I'm
Speaker 2: like doing this slow motion full to the side for
Speaker 2: the third time I'd banked up like all the traffic
Speaker 2: I've different. No, it was funny anyway, So yeah, allways
Speaker 2: happens happened all the time, sudents.
Speaker 1: And on that cycling note, we did a bit of
Speaker 1: a teaser of a bike related story submission because we
Speaker 1: had something really excited to announce, which didn't eventuate this
Speaker 1: year by my fault exclusively because we were traveling so
Speaker 1: much and we didn't organize it. And also Andrew's fault,
Speaker 1: also exclusively because she didn't leave her job on time
Speaker 1: more available to help. So that will be a twenty
Speaker 1: twenty three project that we will still bring to life.
Speaker 1: So for those who did submit their stories, and there
Speaker 1: were some lovely ones, we will have something very excitedly
Speaker 1: call you but sorry, just I haven't forgotten or just
Speaker 1: decided against it. We just didn't have time. So bim
Speaker 1: for the mindset slash life ones, there's quite a few,
Speaker 1: and I feel like they're big questions. Are you feeling
Speaker 1: open to doing a you know when you like reply
Speaker 1: on oh yes, on your story.
Speaker 2: We'll do three quick fight and the rest all right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because I feel like some of them are really big,
Speaker 1: beautiful questions, like, well, one of them is actually a
Speaker 1: relationship one, but about your biggest insecurities about ever having
Speaker 1: down days? Like I feel like we've spoken a little
Speaker 1: bit about the of course you have down days, but
Speaker 1: we could also end up speaking about that for a
Speaker 1: really long time. But one I think is really important
Speaker 1: for you to answer here because it's fascinating and we
Speaker 1: don't speak about this enough. How do you work on
Speaker 1: your financials? Buying a house at this age is amazing,
Speaker 1: fully thought that I am. And then how are you
Speaker 1: able to retire in an adult world that needs payment
Speaker 1: for adult bills? To clarify, she has not She's still working,
Speaker 1: just left one job to go into another structure.
Speaker 2: How do I manage my financials? I'm actually a really
Speaker 2: shit financial manager, to be completely honest, sir, And as
Speaker 2: I hate it, I hate it so much. I think
Speaker 2: what helped with buying the house maybe back full transparent here,
Speaker 2: Like Dad has this thing where he's always wanted to
Speaker 2: be a part of our buying house story for all
Speaker 2: of us kids, And so I probably had like fifteen
Speaker 2: percent or something as a deposit, and Dad really wanted
Speaker 2: to mass make sure he had a twenty percent deposit,
Speaker 2: and so he contributed like the extra for that, so
Speaker 2: I'd be like fully transparent as I feel like people
Speaker 2: think that I was like so, and I was like no,
Speaker 2: like a very privileged to have dad like offer that,
Speaker 2: and like you did be saved obviously saved the it yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: like the majority of it. And so, but I had
Speaker 2: put it out there because otherwise people have like a like,
Speaker 2: I don't want to set a preceense that's not necessarily
Speaker 2: true about myself in terms of working out with the financials.
Speaker 2: I think what I've started to do a lot more
Speaker 2: is have a gauge of how much I will earn
Speaker 2: for the year just around about just because I have
Speaker 2: multiple income streams, and then like macro repayments like being
Speaker 2: like mortgage, and then kind of sussing out what I
Speaker 2: have in between a few other things that I guess
Speaker 2: I do is for it's not necessarily a saving thing,
Speaker 2: but I have multiple incomes. That's one thing. Like multiple
Speaker 2: income streams too. I have a shares portfolio, not a
Speaker 2: huge one, but I still I do have one, and
Speaker 2: I hold that and that's a very much long term
Speaker 2: strategy and then three, I've got obviously the house, which
Speaker 2: is more of a like a growth investment thing. But
Speaker 2: previously I would, you know, I would work multiple jobs.
Speaker 2: I actually don't have a very overly expensive life. I
Speaker 2: didn't I say I didn't, but I don't know about
Speaker 2: it now I just spent I don't go clubbing. I
Speaker 2: don't spend a lot of money, like on a huge
Speaker 2: amount of like clothes and things because she steals on
Speaker 2: my It's true, it's true.
Speaker 1: And then I also like don't frugal.
Speaker 2: But where my money goes.
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm like overly frug I just don't know.
Speaker 1: You're just like clever.
Speaker 2: The things I spend on aren't expensive. That's the difference. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And so but I spend a lot of money on
Speaker 2: like food and like for other people or whatever it is.
Speaker 2: And so living at home helped with saving grant. That's
Speaker 2: one thing. Also shares portfolio, which is strategic in the recession.
Speaker 2: Multiple jobs, Like I'm set up business wise in way
Speaker 2: that means that it's a slightly better tax situation. Like
Speaker 2: I set up as a company under a trust which
Speaker 2: we set up when I was started paper planes, which
Speaker 2: means that distribution is a bit different. It's well, this
Speaker 2: like being fully transparent, and then in terms of the
Speaker 2: actual saving side of things, I kind of I guess
Speaker 2: I'm always conscious of how much I have, but I'm
Speaker 2: not actively like put X amount of weight. I was
Speaker 2: like that when I was saving for the house, but
Speaker 2: after that I've kind of just like kind of know
Speaker 2: how much I'm getting how much it's going out as
Speaker 2: an overview as opposed to like actively saving, because I
Speaker 2: think for right now, I've been saving for so long
Speaker 2: that I was like, might just kind of want to
Speaker 2: chill out a little bit and kind of be a
Speaker 2: bit freer. But yeah, it does help modil income streams
Speaker 2: is probably the biggest asset that I have.
Speaker 1: But it does mean I'm being organized about those income
Speaker 1: streams though, Like you don't just you know, some people
Speaker 1: just like all the money comes in and then they
Speaker 1: just spend what's in there, like they don't look at
Speaker 1: kind of yeah, you have a vague idea, well not
Speaker 1: even vague, you have an idea of your overarching plan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're like outgoings that are then you know how much
Speaker 1: you can, like before you go and spend on extra stuff.
Speaker 1: You tend to know how much you have there to spend,
Speaker 1: you know, just like yeah, buy shit and they go, oh,
Speaker 1: there's not enough left, Like yeah, you're very on top
Speaker 1: of a budget, even if you're not justly setting up like.
Speaker 2: I would never do find out pay laters like I
Speaker 2: don't like, yeah, like that kind of dead. I don't
Speaker 2: have a credit card.
Speaker 1: Well, that's a huge one.
Speaker 2: That you don't have a credit card.
Speaker 1: That's huge.
Speaker 2: That's a purposeful, conscious decision. And I choose cheap flights
Speaker 2: when I go so, yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1: That was a really good that was that transparency I
Speaker 1: think is like really useful to a lot of people.
Speaker 1: And then there's some amazing questions in here, like what
Speaker 1: inspires you to have your right now, I'm just living
Speaker 1: life attitude? What's your favorite worst mistake? Oh, that's a
Speaker 1: really good one. Where do you get your energy? There's
Speaker 1: something about imposter syndrome from a fellow potent SUI sister
Speaker 1: oh mcrovvill life. Oh so I think ANDRELI answer those
Speaker 1: in more detail. And there's quite a few other ones
Speaker 1: about mindset and life. But another quick fire one before
Speaker 1: you move to the last section is what's your next
Speaker 1: big thing or challenge?
Speaker 2: That's hard.
Speaker 1: Well, just like managed being hot.
Speaker 2: Manage my modeling career.
Speaker 1: Okay, did your only fans build my portfolio?
Speaker 2: No? I think I don't know. I think managing this
Speaker 2: next year. Now that I'm like very much in this
Speaker 2: startup life, it's very like I'm really a yes person.
Speaker 2: So anytime someone, like a client, a new client comes along,
Speaker 2: or ask someone asks for help, I tend to say yes,
Speaker 2: and that becomes a new client. So I think managing
Speaker 2: my year with businesses. But Friendo, I'm looking forward to
Speaker 2: like being a bigger part of. Like We've had some
Speaker 2: really fun and nice discussions about how I could be
Speaker 2: a bigger part of like the founding team of Friendo,
Speaker 2: which is all very exciting. So I guess that's the
Speaker 2: big the next big thing.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, CZA like whatever is a very small part
Speaker 1: of who I am, just a small project project.
Speaker 2: But I want to answer this one really quickly. But
Speaker 2: right now I'm living life. Yep comes from and I've
Speaker 2: said this million times before, but I still you'll live
Speaker 2: by it is that we're not guarantee you the future
Speaker 2: or their future. We guarantee what is right now and
Speaker 2: what is in the next minute. But otherwise it sounds morbid,
Speaker 2: but things happen. Life is not guaranteed to anyone, and
Speaker 2: so why not live it up now because.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all you have.
Speaker 1: That's it, okay, travel you exercised and worked during this
Speaker 1: last like your recent trip. Do you prefer to maintain
Speaker 1: some normal routine on your travels? And how I feel
Speaker 1: like that all goes out the window for me too
Speaker 1: much to see and do. And we just spoke in
Speaker 1: the car about how you're about to go away to
Speaker 1: New Zealand with family and one thing that does happen
Speaker 1: when you travel is you just get all out of
Speaker 1: your home routine, which is obviously like it's such a
Speaker 1: nice problem to have, but yeah, how do you kind
Speaker 1: of manage that?
Speaker 2: Running on my travels was when you can combine the
Speaker 2: travel aspect with the routine aspect that it becomes easy.
Speaker 2: So running in my troubles is actually was a way
Speaker 2: of me seeing things. So like in the morning, I
Speaker 2: would run around the air that I just didn't know
Speaker 2: and then almost in my brain bookmark all these cool
Speaker 2: things that I want to come back to in the day.
Speaker 2: And when you're traveling because of the way that I travel,
Speaker 2: it's like the days just like unplanned, unstructured, and you
Speaker 2: kind of roam for hours and hours. And I feel
Speaker 2: like when you travel, the days feel long, like you've
Speaker 2: just fit so much in the day. Like here, you
Speaker 2: come home after work and that's kind of the end
Speaker 2: of the day. You wind down at like six o'clock. There,
Speaker 2: you have dinner, then you go back out and you
Speaker 2: go go for another night walk and then you go
Speaker 2: for another room and you don't really get back into
Speaker 2: a nine or ten or later or whatever. So the
Speaker 2: days are long, and so I fit in the run
Speaker 2: as a means of like exploration, seeing places like vetting
Speaker 2: places that I want to see try. And also you
Speaker 2: feel a bit like.
Speaker 1: A local, like you feel like you're seeing a side
Speaker 1: of the Yeah, like you're doing this, you wouldn't.
Speaker 2: You see locals running and so yeah, I intertwine it
Speaker 2: with the actual travel side of things. But also in
Speaker 2: my brain, I need to move, Like I know, walking
Speaker 2: is really great, but like just I it's really important
Speaker 2: to me to keep moving at a sometimes higher intensity,
Speaker 2: and so it makes me like more set up for
Speaker 2: the day. So I try to do that as a
Speaker 2: minimum if I'm traveling.
Speaker 1: But you're pretty good at like allowing yourself to not
Speaker 1: have your normal routine for the sake of travel, restoring
Speaker 1: it when you get back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like the freest travel in my last trip there,
Speaker 2: it isn't the reason why I ran it was because
Speaker 2: it was a bit of a different trip. It was
Speaker 2: like I worked while I was away. I was kind
Speaker 2: of a way to kind of like recharge as opposed
Speaker 2: to be overly adventurous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what backpack do you use?
Speaker 2: I use a mac pack. It's like a hiking bag.
Speaker 2: It's a forty leader for my smaller trips. And then
Speaker 2: I've got a Catman do bigger one that's more like
Speaker 2: a seventy leader for like if I go for like
Speaker 2: my longer one was like five months, So I took
Speaker 2: that one and for all my trips now, I use
Speaker 2: like a hiking it's almost like a hiking backpack.
Speaker 1: Will your great aunt from Vietnam ever come visit again?
Speaker 1: And also do you miss her? And why is my
Speaker 1: thing typing what I'm saying?
Speaker 2: I was like, what are your questions coming along?
Speaker 1: I don't know what I've done.
Speaker 2: My grandaunt probably won't ever come back to visit again.
Speaker 2: It was just so hard to get her here, and
Speaker 2: she just loves Yeah, she loves being in Vietnam, and
Speaker 2: it was such a long period of time that she
Speaker 2: was here for that she probably won't come back again.
Speaker 2: I do miss her and I love her. Mom and
Speaker 2: Daddy going back in February, and I probably won't only
Speaker 2: because I think I've got a wedding. But I just
Speaker 2: feel like I need to settle book in your hair.
Speaker 2: But I love it like I the reason part of
Speaker 2: why I love the work that I get to do
Speaker 2: now is that I can see her whenever I want,
Speaker 2: like I don't have to book and leave. So I
Speaker 2: probably go at the end of next year. The only
Speaker 2: reason why I didn't go this year I was meant
Speaker 2: to go in November was because Dad had a big
Speaker 2: heart surgery that we didn't go.
Speaker 1: Last two questions, and these are beautiful questions because I
Speaker 1: think this is one thing You're very good and inspiring
Speaker 1: in others and particularly for me. Being on the Intrepid
Speaker 1: Trips has been something that I've loved watching how do
Speaker 1: you find the courage to travel on your own? And
Speaker 1: then tips on once you decide to travel solo on
Speaker 1: doing that, And I feel like I've seen like a
Speaker 1: majority of people on the intrepreteurs we're traveling solo in Antarctica.
Speaker 1: The youngest person was nineteen and she came on her
Speaker 1: own because it was often you can't find someone who
Speaker 1: wants to prioritize the same destination as you, and you
Speaker 1: do it all the time and have shown me like
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful thing to do.
Speaker 2: It is one of my favorite things to do. Definitely,
Speaker 2: how do I encourage to travel on your own? I
Speaker 2: think it's a sense of like sense of fearlessness but
Speaker 2: trust of the world at the same time, if that
Speaker 2: makes sense. I think as opposed to like focusing all
Speaker 2: the bad things that happen or can happen, I'm very
Speaker 2: like not like it won't happen to me, and I
Speaker 2: can appreciate it. I know it does happen, But if
Speaker 2: you kind of focus on that, the world seems like
Speaker 2: a really scary place and then you kind of it's
Speaker 2: a barrier to doing many exciting things. The thing that
Speaker 2: I always remember or think about is it seems far away,
Speaker 2: like these destinations are a different country, different continent, but
Speaker 2: it's the same world. Like they have internet, they have cafes,
Speaker 2: they have phones, they have trained, they have technology, like
Speaker 2: it's actually just the same, but many places that people
Speaker 2: would go have all of that, so you have a
Speaker 2: safety net of if you want to set yourself up right.
Speaker 2: There's many things. You know. You can set up your
Speaker 2: phone to have your favorites contacted, like your emergency contacts sorted.
Speaker 2: You can leave your location on if you want to
Speaker 2: to your closest friends on the iPhones or whatever. You
Speaker 2: can make sure someone you're telling someone where you go
Speaker 2: in the next day or the next steps. You can
Speaker 2: share with your siblings, your itinery, your flight details, all
Speaker 2: that stuff you can do as contingency when you're traveling alone.
Speaker 2: But you also realize, like I as much as I'm
Speaker 2: pretty reckless, some would say like hitchhike.
Speaker 1: And whatever, hostels and the mother of you, that is
Speaker 1: not okay.
Speaker 2: It's like if the world is safer than you think,
Speaker 2: despite the like things that happen around the world, And
Speaker 2: then you've got hostels which with like minded people. The
Speaker 2: minute you're on your own, people tend to come up
Speaker 2: to you and be like, where are you from, like
Speaker 2: chat to you, make you feel like, you know, involve
Speaker 2: you in things. The minute you with someone else, though.
Speaker 1: The people don't do that, and you don't do that,
Speaker 1: and you don't open yourself, so yes, you.
Speaker 2: Don't make these beautiful friendships and meet people around the world.
Speaker 2: And a bit of it is trust, but a bit
Speaker 2: of it is like self confidence in that you can
Speaker 2: do that by yourself. And I think sometimes we say
Speaker 2: like we're a female and buy virtue of that. Unfortunately,
Speaker 2: there are things that happens to females that wouldn't just
Speaker 2: happen to men. But you know, rather than sometimes focusing
Speaker 2: on that aspect of things, you're like, no, I'm actually
Speaker 2: a very strong, independent female that it's going to do this.
Speaker 2: And then yeah, you set yourself up in all the
Speaker 2: other safety measures that you can in the time if
Speaker 2: you it's your first time, you can go to like
Speaker 2: you know, areas that are much more populated, are much
Speaker 2: more dense with much more hostiles and options and transport
Speaker 2: and technology and Wi Fi and things like that, and
Speaker 2: make your seels feel safer. But I think just like
Speaker 2: trying it is the only way to know if that's
Speaker 2: for you. It's not for everyone, but yeah, just choose
Speaker 2: a place where it feel safe. The other thing you
Speaker 2: can do is like go solo for a period and
Speaker 2: then meet up with someone that you know you're going
Speaker 2: to meet up within seven days or something, and that
Speaker 2: way everything feels a bit nicer and like it's not
Speaker 2: as scary.
Speaker 1: And I also feel like if you book a group tour,
Speaker 1: like a small group tour, like with Intrepid or someone
Speaker 1: like that sound like this is an ad it's not.
Speaker 1: I genuinely have seen so many solo travelers on these
Speaker 1: trips who like, there's traveling solo outside of the structure
Speaker 1: of a tour, and that's like very adventurous. But if
Speaker 1: you're not quite ready for that and you want to
Speaker 1: be in a small group but solo in terms of
Speaker 1: without your friends or without like traveling physically getting to
Speaker 1: that place with someone else, it then gives you the
Speaker 1: safety of knowing someone's going to meet you. At the
Speaker 1: other end, you're going to be traveling in a group
Speaker 1: when you go to the sites, like particularly countries that
Speaker 1: are a bit more adventurous. I've found it gives people
Speaker 1: a little bit of a safety in net, like I'll
Speaker 1: be with people, I'll meet other solo travelers. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: there are ways to set yourself up so that you're
Speaker 1: not completely a lot, like you just rock up to
Speaker 1: this country with no structure and no people to meet
Speaker 1: you and no one who knows so you are. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the guided tours in groups is an amazing way to
Speaker 1: meet new people, and you do you force yourself, Like
Speaker 1: to be fair, in Antarcticrib went with a group of people,
Speaker 1: but I was solo in terms of like Nick wasn't
Speaker 1: with me, I didn't go with a friend. I was
Speaker 1: there for work and I wasn't with them. Most of
Speaker 1: the time. I just sat and spoke to people. I
Speaker 1: would never make conversations exactly, And it's the best.
Speaker 2: It's actually the best. It's very soul filling. So I'd
Speaker 2: say anyone that thrives or needs a sense of adventures,
Speaker 2: sense of freedom, that wants to like explore, make new friends,
Speaker 2: like live on the edge a little bit, traveling solo
Speaker 2: is a really fun. If anyone feels like they need
Speaker 2: a lot more structure, a lot more routine, a lot
Speaker 2: more planning, still can definitely do it.
Speaker 1: Just set yourself up in a way there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I would just recommend it for
Speaker 2: everyone to try once anur And it's.
Speaker 1: So liberating because you can so whatever you want you
Speaker 1: literally don't have to work your schedule around anybody else.
Speaker 2: The way I travel, I book the flights and then
Speaker 2: I booked two nights of accommodation in my first destination,
Speaker 2: and that is all. Like with Turkey, I booked a
Speaker 2: flight to Istanbul, and then I booked a flight home
Speaker 2: from Dublin Island, and I booked only two nights in Istanbul,
Speaker 2: and then when I arrived is when I decided what
Speaker 2: the vibes were like, and then I continued from then,
Speaker 2: I was like, tomorrow I'm going to Bulgaria. And that's
Speaker 2: how it works.
Speaker 1: You're probably like on the more adventurous spect solo travel,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I feel like the times I've done it,
Speaker 1: even just like taking yourself off to a restaurant and people,
Speaker 1: you do have to get over the weird, Like it
Speaker 1: does feel weird for a second. It does feel like
Speaker 1: if you've never done it before. A lot of people
Speaker 1: haven't even gone out to dinner by themselves in their
Speaker 1: troun city. But there's something about doing it for the
Speaker 1: first time and just getting over that it feels a
Speaker 1: bit weird and you don't have someone to talk to,
Speaker 1: but then you just realize, like who cares that genuinely,
Speaker 1: you don't want to miss out on a destination just
Speaker 1: because no one else you know wants to go there, Like,
Speaker 1: there are ways to do it, and that's the beauty
Speaker 1: of it. It makes you be a little bit uncomfortable
Speaker 1: and then it makes you like expand the studio personality
Speaker 1: you never get to do that with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the best.
Speaker 1: Well, there are so many things we could talk about.
Speaker 1: There are many other topics, many other questions, and also
Speaker 1: there are many end of year slash start of a
Speaker 1: new year reflections because you and I are both very
Speaker 1: symbolic about this out of any year. But I feel
Speaker 1: like that can be for our first episode next year.
Speaker 1: And so if anyone does have any questions that are
Speaker 1: like new Year's resolution and in our writing journals, et
Speaker 1: cetera related.
Speaker 2: I feel like the rest of the Yu'll Forever and
Speaker 2: Ever now is going to be like so ask your
Speaker 2: questions and we shall respond.
Speaker 1: Literally is the funnest way to structure of these episodes,
Speaker 1: particularly since we can do them more often now. I
Speaker 1: literally ask Kane, can we have a regular slot? Now
Speaker 1: that A is like full time, which is really exciting.
Speaker 1: So I hope you guys enjoyed these, this double Q
Speaker 1: and a everything else we've done this year. I promise,
Speaker 1: as I keep promising, my promise is are worth nothing.
Speaker 1: Now next year will be a lot more structured, We'll
Speaker 1: have a lot more and and I hope you guys
Speaker 1: have an amazing holidays, a little bit of a break,
Speaker 1: a beautiful end of year and start of a new year,
Speaker 1: and we'll be back in two weeks. I think, happy, happy, happy.
Speaker 2: Having you.
Speaker 1: I was trying to make it like yeah, but nothing right.
Speaker 2: Now, just have in new year, guys. Not everything has
Speaker 2: to be branded.
Speaker 1: But it does happen. Yeah happy, Nah, it doesn't work.
Speaker 2: Thank you guys, We love you. Bye bye