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Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful people, we suck. Welcome back to CZA for

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Speaker 1: a new year, new me, new year, new podcast, new organization.

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Speaker 2: Your new promises never stick to honestly.

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Speaker 1: So as you have probably noticed, given how many of

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Speaker 1: you have asked us about this, Part two of Andrew's

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Speaker 1: Q and A did not go up because we both

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Speaker 1: went away and it just wasn't right and then we're

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Speaker 1: on holidays and our brain. You will hear all about

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Speaker 1: it in our official first episode back for twenty twenty three.

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Speaker 1: This is obviously the second part of Andre's anonymous Q

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Speaker 1: and A from last year, the bombshell one with so

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Speaker 1: much excitement in it, but obviously the time references will

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Speaker 1: all be out, so giving this to you so it's

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Speaker 1: in your ears now, How are you feeling, Bim? Do

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Speaker 1: you remember anything about what.

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Speaker 2: We do know me? Either?

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Speaker 3: Literally?

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Speaker 2: I think it was got nice, was nice, It was love.

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Speaker 2: I think that was the all feeling of it. So

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Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to here.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like we wanted to be together when

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Speaker 1: it came out, and then we weren't and you were

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Speaker 1: in New Zealand. Anyway, as you guys know, we now

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Speaker 1: have and on board like properly like properly now that

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Speaker 1: you've like cuya, so.

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Speaker 2: It's actually executive.

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Speaker 1: What did I say, No, you said actiations, Educations manager.

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Speaker 1: And we've had a great planning meeting today, so you

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Speaker 1: are actually going to get a lot more organization and

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Speaker 1: efficiency and fulfilled promises. So we promised that in a

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Speaker 1: very short amount of time you will get a New Year,

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Speaker 1: New Me episode where we actually talk about what we

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Speaker 1: did on the holidays, how are feeling about a new year,

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Speaker 1: what's coming out. We planed our first event for the

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Speaker 1: year as well, which you'll hear about very soon, But

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Speaker 1: for now, please enjoy the follow up to Andre's anonymous

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Speaker 1: Q and A. We hope you enjoy and you'll be

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Speaker 1: hearing so much more of us this year.

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Speaker 2: Enjoy.

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Speaker 1: Also, this is not on my microphone on my phone

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Speaker 1: because lol.

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Speaker 2: Joy bye.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Seize the Ya podcast. Busy and happy

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Speaker 1: are not the same thing. We too rarely question what

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Speaker 1: makes the heart seeing We work, then we rest, but

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Speaker 1: rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than

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Speaker 1: one way. So this is a platform to hear and

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Speaker 1: explore the stories of those who found lives. They adore,

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Speaker 1: the good, bad and ugly. The best and worst day

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Speaker 1: will bear all the facets of seizing your yea. I'm

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Speaker 1: Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer turned

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Speaker 1: fu entrepreneur who swapped the suits and heels to co

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Speaker 1: found matcha Maiden and matcha Milk Bar. Sez the Ya

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Speaker 1: is a series of conversations on finding a life you

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Speaker 1: love and exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment

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Speaker 1: along the way. Welcome back. This is part two of

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Speaker 1: and asnonymous Q and A. Because we got through life

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Speaker 1: like what one question one question last time, and we

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Speaker 1: were just going to go straight through and record a

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Speaker 1: second one, but I was koh, like my brain.

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Speaker 2: Both oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Well because it was a big episode. It was a

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Speaker 1: big episode.

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Speaker 2: Or so we're just getting old.

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Speaker 1: We're just getting old. They are getting old, And well.

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Speaker 2: I am still really quite tired.

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Speaker 1: So An came over last night, literally came into our room.

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Speaker 1: We watched like ten minutes of met We force fed

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Speaker 1: her meme. So we do We've spoken about this before,

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Speaker 1: but whenever Anne comes to her house, we do show

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Speaker 1: and tell, and Nick and I fight for like and

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Speaker 1: and look at this, look at this, and like we

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Speaker 1: fight for her attention. So we got about three memes

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Speaker 1: down and then you're like, okay, bye, guys, go to bed.

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Speaker 1: It was eight thirty pm and then I woke up

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Speaker 1: before you, which also never happened.

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Speaker 2: And then I was like slowly backing out into the

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Speaker 2: room mix.

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Speaker 1: Like watch another one watch it was a video.

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Speaker 2: Because well it's not finish. I was like, oh okay,

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Speaker 2: but I sit myself back down.

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Speaker 1: Not finished.

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Speaker 2: It was like one ad and I was like, okay,

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Speaker 2: well good night. He's like, it's not finished. It was

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Speaker 2: an AD break and it was ten minutes of like

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Speaker 2: highlights of tiktoks, like it was just like.

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Speaker 1: It was a compilation of funniest British tiktoks, which is

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Speaker 1: actually pretty pretty funny if anyone needs to laugh. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we separated the two parts instead of doing them

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Speaker 1: straight off the back of each other. We've covered the

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Speaker 1: career questions. We covered that's it, like we didn't do

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Speaker 1: any other category wish honestly, and today's is a big

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Speaker 1: juicy one. As we mentioned, left you on a cliffhanger.

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Speaker 1: But before we get back into it, thank you also

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Speaker 1: for all your incredible questions. We didn't do a fifth

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Speaker 1: Q and a submission because we already have too many

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Speaker 1: questions to get through and it's very popular and just

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Speaker 1: not and he's very popular. And to back this up,

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Speaker 1: so just as a quick little tidbit, I became a

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Speaker 1: stylist and makeup hardest over the weekend and it was

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Speaker 1: the best yay of my life. So, speaking of yays

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Speaker 1: of our lives, neighborhood watch note for this weekend and

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Speaker 1: went to a wedding and got a make cover, a

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Speaker 1: yay kover a yay go. So you explained, that's so

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Speaker 1: much to explain.

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Speaker 2: Sarah knows that I think there's a misconception. Although actually no,

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Speaker 2: it's a problems.

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Speaker 1: It's a conception.

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Speaker 2: What's what would you call it? A conception? What did

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Speaker 2: you call it? Was not a mis it's a true conception. Well,

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Speaker 2: there's not much to concept from. So it's like I

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Speaker 2: clearly don't like for a long time, I was like

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Speaker 2: an active actory all the time because I whatever yellow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And then I was like, but I actually really enjoy

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Speaker 2: getting dressed up, which Sarah does actually know. Yeah, And

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Speaker 2: people were like, oh, like you must hate it, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, no, I just don't do it often.

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Speaker 1: No, But you used to be like a fashionista.

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Speaker 2: You only know that because I tell you and you're

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Speaker 2: just photo photos.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I used to love, like when I was early in

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Speaker 2: high school. I still love like wearing whatever like indie

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Speaker 2: and shop clothes or whatever. And then I just got

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Speaker 2: cycling and then I never really walked clothes again. But

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Speaker 2: then rocking around Nate straight up nude, you know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you've just gone like.

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Speaker 1: Full active wear. Yeah, but not just active, like not

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Speaker 1: even going out active wear. You know, that's like going out.

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Speaker 1: You've got your going out active. Everyone who's listening, I

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Speaker 1: hope you relate to this. I feel like we all do.

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Speaker 1: There's like you're going out active where that's like nice,

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Speaker 1: and then there's like you're active where that's like pilly

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Speaker 1: the actively wear pills, Like that's me sing stinky. A

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Speaker 1: few interventions like get off my bed, go and have

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Speaker 1: a shower.

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Speaker 2: You fucking gross the cop like two boxing sessions and

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Speaker 2: around like hugging Sarah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, get of me. I love you.

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Speaker 2: So I had a wedding on the weekend and yeah,

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Speaker 2: normally I kind of just like whatever, but someone I

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Speaker 2: was like, no, like what to see? I want to

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Speaker 2: see what Sarah has, which normally I'm like, I would

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Speaker 2: not fit it, but I was like, you know, there's

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Speaker 2: probably things that are stretchy that could probably fit.

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Speaker 1: And we kind of raid my wardrobe regularly. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And then so we like finalized a few, tried

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Speaker 2: on a few, fell in love with one, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, this is it was.

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Speaker 1: A whole you screenshot of things from back like two years.

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Speaker 2: I like this this, so it's like I don't I

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Speaker 2: don't happen to have that anymore?

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Speaker 1: Why no? On rotation?

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Speaker 2: So and also funny because you know how you normally

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Speaker 2: Pinterest or like save a whole bunch of people's looks

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Speaker 2: and things mine wall just I don't look exactly like this,

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Speaker 2: exactly exactly like this.

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Speaker 1: And then like over the course of three catch ups,

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Speaker 1: I brought up and you try them on and then

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Speaker 1: be like, can you like bring this? And I was like,

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Speaker 1: what's wrong with the other?

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Speaker 2: True and the only person I like know and trust

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Speaker 2: and love to do my makeup and hair well, partly

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Speaker 2: because I just wouldn't even know how to do it,

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Speaker 2: and secondly like Sarah just knows me and what I

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Speaker 2: like and like how I like to be comfortable. So

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Speaker 2: she rocked up. I was like, m joke and I

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Speaker 2: can do it. Before she did you like ditch a

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Speaker 2: birthday party, organize the whole like space like how to

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Speaker 2: chairitady chair in the natural law charity like organized where

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Speaker 2: I possibly could take my perform and after video.

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Speaker 1: I hadn't tried pod for that. I read your eyes

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Speaker 1: so chry ready.

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Speaker 2: Literally it was such a service. And then we had

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Speaker 2: forty five minutes, like strictly forty five minutes. Did all

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Speaker 2: of my hair again. The inspo was just like previous

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Speaker 2: postal Sarah, it's being like, what about this one? And

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Speaker 2: then like glammed me up and it was actually a

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Speaker 2: proper I think previous time you've done like my makeup

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Speaker 2: and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was nice.

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Speaker 2: It was like for physio ball and whatever, but this

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Speaker 2: time actually felt very elegant and very like I was

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Speaker 2: telling you this before. I was like very confident in

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Speaker 2: my skin, very comfortable, and also like easy, breezy, cover girl,

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Speaker 2: beautiful cover girl. At the same time, I don't say

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Speaker 2: the word, but I was hot.

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Speaker 1: So she goes last night and I was like, why

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Speaker 1: were you so tired? It's heart being hot, okay, being

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Speaker 1: hot all again, but you actually looked amazing. Okay, this

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Speaker 1: is a testament. So two things. One is the text

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Speaker 1: from my mom, So of course I took the photos

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Speaker 1: and then I sent them to my mom and my

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Speaker 1: aunties because Andrew's like their adopted other daughter. I didn't

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Speaker 1: get a reply, but she texted you straight away, going,

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Speaker 1: you look like you're in your skin. You're just glowing.

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Speaker 1: But the real proper like measure of how intense this

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Speaker 1: was is I sent it to Nick Goes, which is

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Speaker 1: so cute because he knew I set up the room

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Speaker 1: and everything. Yeah, he goes, how's the makeup going, like,

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Speaker 1: because he knows I get really excited to do it.

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Speaker 1: And I sent a picture back and he goes, instead

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Speaker 1: of like, oh she doesn't.

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Speaker 2: Look like a boy today, he always because that's how

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Speaker 2: that's how he like shows me love. Yeah. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 2: like his little sister. So he's like, it can't be

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Speaker 2: too nice to her cool nice oh yeah yeah, good.

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Speaker 1: One or something or like thumbs up emoji. He goes,

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Speaker 1: oh wow, And I was like, I know, oh wow,

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Speaker 1: like the transformations many ohs, many do w's and backhanded

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Speaker 1: like yeah, it was insult and so I screenshot immediately

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Speaker 1: and sent it to you, even though I definitely not

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Speaker 1: meant to do that, but it was like and then your.

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Speaker 2: Parents, my parents, No, my parents' responses were I'm so

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Speaker 2: proud of you, like as in, so proud of you

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Speaker 2: for looking like a human. I was like, thank you.

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Speaker 1: And then your mom was like, you look like Sarah.

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Speaker 2: Literally, your parents are so proud that two things came true.

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Speaker 2: That you look like me. It's true, but I didn't

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Speaker 2: grow up with my parents one me they're proud of me. Ever,

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Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I were a dressed like, I'm

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Speaker 2: so proud of me.

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Speaker 1: I know, it's not like you graduate yet or you're

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Speaker 1: like top of your class, so you like rode from

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Speaker 1: Adelaide to Melbourne. It's you look like Sarah today. But

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Speaker 1: the engagement, even on my stories of you was like unbelievable.

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Speaker 1: This is how popular you are. Like literally everyone who

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Speaker 1: is so invested in you. People I have never commented before,

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Speaker 1: they're like, she looks so pretty, like as in they

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Speaker 1: know what you look like and they knew the transformation.

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Speaker 1: And I even got wow, I didn't know she was

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Speaker 1: a sex kitten. Well what was that? I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but that leads us really nicely to relationships because you

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Speaker 1: are a sex.

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Speaker 2: Okay, great, but what's one thing I have to say.

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Speaker 2: The wedding was beautiful. It's actually about Fitz. I love

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Speaker 2: an a Door so much. It was such a beautiful

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Speaker 2: wedding and so much happiness.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, and random six roys of separation. You know

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Speaker 1: Organic Crew, the really beautiful Bam that's her cousin. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: Mel was there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh I didn't even really Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So she I think you've seen you know the yeah,

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Speaker 1: the organic cotton and everything. So there's this beautiful brand

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Speaker 1: that's founded by an incredible Malvine woman called Mel and

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Speaker 1: since matcha maiden the very very early days, we did

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Speaker 1: a lot of work together. She does a lot of

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Speaker 1: work with two other women who I love, you guys know,

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Speaker 1: Sarah from Organica who does my hair and her incredible

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Speaker 1: organic natural salon in Elwood and Carton is amazing. And

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Speaker 1: then Danielle from Simple as That Skin, who has yet

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Speaker 1: incredible skincare range, also natural organic, just beautiful. Us four

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Speaker 1: I have like known each other for years. And Nat

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Speaker 1: from Green Street anyway, I didn't twig that she has

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Speaker 1: the same surname. I just forgot, but I was on

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Speaker 1: her page, and I was like, that wedding looks really familiar.

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Speaker 2: I wish I remember what I have gone said, Hi, I.

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Speaker 1: Know what a small world.

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Speaker 2: Yeah okay, so okay.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, so we are up to the relationship section, speaking

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Speaker 1: of weddings, relationship section of Andre's questions, which is the

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Speaker 1: bombshell section. This is the cliffhanger that we left you on,

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Speaker 1: the stress, the cliffhanger on which.

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Speaker 2: We left you.

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Speaker 1: So let's start with some of the like fast fire,

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Speaker 1: easy ones, how many excess do you.

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Speaker 2: Have one one actual X? Yeah makes sense? Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 2: and then we never really get to the point to

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Speaker 2: become relationship to X if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, okay. And that was the one that like

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Speaker 1: you actually launched hard launched on Instagram. I guess, so yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then yeah that was and then and then it

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, okay, okay, this is interesting question.

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Speaker 1: Stats show single women are happier and live longer than

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Speaker 1: coupled up women. Do you agree or disagree? You've lived

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Speaker 1: for like a minute, so I don't feel like you qualified.

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Speaker 2: Eighty years of relationship. It's a really interesting question. I

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Speaker 2: actually I've had the discussion a lot recently, But I

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like I believe both that

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Speaker 2: you can have a really thriving life with a partner

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Speaker 2: so long as it's a partner that you really do

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Speaker 2: love and want to be with, and that betters you

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Speaker 2: because I feel like perhaps with a lot of relationships

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Speaker 2: are there because it's their content in it, which is

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Speaker 2: very different to being you know, like it's a relationship

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Speaker 2: where it's like a you get you're a better person

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Speaker 2: from it, you grow together. But then I'm like, well,

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Speaker 2: but if it is a very like content type relationship,

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Speaker 2: then you are actually probably better off being single and

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Speaker 2: getting that kind of love in companionship from your friends.

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Speaker 2: The only thing that you, guys, I guess lose is

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Speaker 2: like an intimacy or romantic like your physical intimacy. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I actually kind of believe both. I think if you're

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Speaker 2: in the right relationship, yeah, one hundred percent, being with

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Speaker 2: someone's always being better. Like you, like we've spoken about this,

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Speaker 2: you don't ever need someone, but having someone can make

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Speaker 2: your life so much better. Yeah, if it's the right person.

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Speaker 2: So totally.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So something that's come up a lot. I can't

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Speaker 1: remember if we spoke about this in the last episode

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Speaker 1: or not, but something that's come up a lot in

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Speaker 1: the last little while for me with either people who

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Speaker 1: are single and struggling on the dating scene or people

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Speaker 1: who are in long term relationships and are entering that

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Speaker 1: first sort of hurdle phase of oh my gosh, relationships

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Speaker 1: are hard. You know that, like everyone gets to a

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Speaker 1: bit where the novelty wears off and the honeymoon period,

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Speaker 1: you know, and you have to like start to work

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Speaker 1: hard at it. The analogy that has helped me enormously

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Speaker 1: personally but also in all of these conversations is the

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Speaker 1: pie chart analogy, where every person represents their own pie chart,

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Speaker 1: and there's certain areas where you're really really strong and

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Speaker 1: certain areas where you're not as strong. And what people

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Speaker 1: need to look for in a partner is the person who,

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Speaker 1: like you're never necessarily going to find the one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent package, they might become your hundred percent package over

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Speaker 1: years of working towards the same thing, but probably on

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Speaker 1: the street, you're just not going to find someone who

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Speaker 1: ticks all your boxes, but all they have to tick

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Speaker 1: is the ones that you really care about, because our

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Speaker 1: priority is all different, which is why you know some

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Speaker 1: people will be like, Oh, you guys have so much

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Speaker 1: adventure and blah blah blah, and then you know and

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Speaker 1: that they like that, but they have all the other things,

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Speaker 1: you know. I feel like if you start to look

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Speaker 1: at your relationship and yourself as a pie chart, and

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Speaker 1: you get like the thing you prioritize, the things that

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Speaker 1: you really care about and the others you can work

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Speaker 1: on over time. You know what your non negotiables are

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Speaker 1: and you distinguish those from the things that aren't as

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Speaker 1: important to you. And also that you're not always looking

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Speaker 1: for someone to fill all of your gaps. You need

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Speaker 1: to feel those yourself and then come to the table.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's why this is a mass generalization,

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Speaker 1: but I've the question is really interesting for me because

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Speaker 1: I feel like, particularly in second relationships and often second marriages,

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Speaker 1: it seems as though men's pattern is often to use

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Speaker 1: their partner to fill the parts of their pie chart

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Speaker 1: that aren't full, whereas women who have been married before

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Speaker 1: and then go into their post first relationship life, they

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Speaker 1: often don't repartner because they learn to fill those gaps

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Speaker 1: with their girlfriends or with other areas of their life,

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Speaker 1: so they don't go straight into needing another partner, which

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Speaker 1: is why I think the question was why to single women,

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Speaker 1: the stats show that they're happier and longer. I think

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Speaker 1: it's because they find how to fill their pie chart

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Speaker 1: without the relationship and be independent of that, and then

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Speaker 1: the relationship is such a bonus. It brings so much

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Speaker 1: depth to your life, but you don't need it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure, I don't know what the scientific basis is

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Speaker 1: for that. It's just I like pies well as pie

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Speaker 1: charts are.

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Speaker 2: Pretty, and as you guys are, this is actually quite

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Speaker 2: a science backed podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we definitely all my Sarah theory. So we also

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Speaker 1: have this thing called Sarah theory where I try and

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Speaker 1: explain everything based on something that's from my own random

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Speaker 1: brain and has no scientific backing whatsoever. But the pie

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Speaker 1: chat analogy has really helped people recently where they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm waiting for my partner to feel all of the

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Speaker 1: pie chart and they really only need to meet seventy

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Speaker 1: five percent of my non negotiables and then the others

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Speaker 1: we can work on.

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Speaker 2: That's exactly how they say it.

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Speaker 1: My part chart is not full, but.

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Speaker 2: Now it is.

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Speaker 1: He I'm a very visual person, you are, and that

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Speaker 1: really helps me anyway. Okay, so there are some really

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Speaker 1: interesting questions about Nick and I which snuck into this.

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Speaker 1: I leave those two laughter. No, no, no, till after your bombshell,

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Speaker 1: because I think that's more my bombshell. It's more important,

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Speaker 1: it's more important. But firstly, some more and fast fire

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Speaker 1: questions which I don't know why they're in this section.

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Speaker 1: What is it like to sweat from your nose?

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Speaker 2: Only I don't know what that's in this section either

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Speaker 2: from relationships because.

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Speaker 1: It impacts your relationships deeply.

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Speaker 2: It's it is hard work, you know, Like I don't

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Speaker 2: really answer the question, what's it like? It's it's wet,

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Speaker 2: it's sweaty.

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Speaker 1: From Daddy Kennedy.

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Speaker 2: I have no idea I reckons from Jenna or something.

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Speaker 2: Sure was seeing about the sweaty nose.

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Speaker 1: Small shout out to Danny Kennedy, who also records his

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Speaker 1: incredible fitness and lifestyle podcast from Annotate Agency where we

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Speaker 1: are right now. Kane has listened to. Kane sits in

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Speaker 1: on all our episodes. By the way, poor guy, I know,

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Speaker 1: honestly a bullshit. He gets Danny's proper science backed fitness,

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Speaker 1: proper interviews, and then our absolute chaos. Danny often has

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Speaker 1: pointed out, because he's trained with both of us. Many

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Speaker 1: times he's like, wow, you guys really crack a sweat

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Speaker 1: straight on your nose and nowhere else.

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Speaker 2: Literally, it's only on my nostrils. Yeah, actually, I like.

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Speaker 1: Everyone nostrils, like on your nose.

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Speaker 4: Nose.

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Speaker 2: Pause. Actually I sweat everywhere, but my nose paws are intense.

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Speaker 2: And the only thing it does affect with my dating

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Speaker 2: is sometimes when I'm like a bit sweaty and then

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Speaker 2: we have to the door spill smooth.

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Speaker 1: It's a bit sweaty, so you have to like blot

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Speaker 1: your nose first before I pash.

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Speaker 2: I'll do it.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, Danny has actually like we send him photo

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Speaker 1: sometimes of just because our nose breaks first. That's what

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Speaker 1: it is.

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Speaker 2: It's actually sometimes it's the only part of the body

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Speaker 2: that sweats. It's like it's like maybe someone grafted my

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Speaker 2: armpit hair on my nose. I mean, okay, next question,

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Speaker 2: next question, that's really sides back.

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Speaker 1: Okay, personality your looks ah, it's such an easy one

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Speaker 1: for you.

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Speaker 2: Look current relationship. It's personality.

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Speaker 1: No, I think it's really nice. Into The next question

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Speaker 1: is and dating anyone? Oh, my god, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it's a.

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Speaker 2: Way more excited about this that I am.

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Speaker 1: Not act cool.

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Speaker 2: I feel like because she's my big sisters, it's so hot.

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Speaker 1: I am either your big sister, your daughter, or your mom.

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Speaker 1: It changes all the time. Side note how much was

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Speaker 1: either proud mom at the school form or taking all

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Speaker 1: the photos like okay, come in the good light, take okay,

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Speaker 1: post this way. Oh my god sends me. My friends

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Speaker 1: are uploading it. To my face, I was your mom.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I actually do have to go because okay,

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Speaker 2: don't worry about it. And so if you put your

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Speaker 2: backs down here, just a quick one, just one in

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Speaker 2: front of the house, front, in the doorway. The moms

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Speaker 2: are like in the garden, in the garden, straight to

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Speaker 2: the garden.

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Speaker 1: This will look really nice. I'll frame it.

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Speaker 2: Hold this, hold this flower.

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Speaker 1: Back to my excitement. Is in a relationship? Okay, keep going,

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Speaker 1: that's the question. Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: So the other thing she does when she really cares

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Speaker 1: about something and is like really invested is instead of

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Speaker 1: being like this fountain of words, she goes I'm like,

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00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,960
Speaker 1: I'm always like, how's it going? And she goes, well,

441
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 1: what do you want to know? Which is like the

442
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 1: weirdest answer because Ange never doesn't just word vomit everything.

443
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 1: She'll go no, but what specifically, And I'm.

444
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 2: Like, you're not a shy girl. I'm so shy.

445
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 1: Okay, so tell us about this relationship, Like, what do

446
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 1: you disclaimer for the respect of your partner who is

447
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 1: not really in the podcast?

448
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,160
Speaker 2: That's not real, that's just.

449
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:52,120
Speaker 1: Imaginary, which is also fine because inclusivity a for all.

450
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 2: No, I think I've actually always been a private person about.

451
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,680
Speaker 1: My relationship life. You're not going to name names or

452
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 1: anything but her name name, because there is a name.

453
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 2: There is not even real. Yeah, I've never been really

454
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 2: opened about my dating life. I feel like because I'm

455
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,640
Speaker 2: opening that so much of my life, it's the one

456
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 2: part of my life that I kind of protect.

457
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, your legs are open, but you're not

458
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:14,240
Speaker 1: open about.

459
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 2: Legs. It's because I have a chunky trunks. I just

460
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:20,439
Speaker 2: don't cross.

461
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 1: I can't cross my legs. No, sorry, I'm deflecting.

462
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 2: No, we've been together for like like since August, so

463
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 2: a little wow. It's very loving, it's very healthy. So

464
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,200
Speaker 2: you're really waiting for me, it's really to drop this.

465
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 2: It's we didn't practice this.

466
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: No we didn't, but that's even better because this is

467
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:50,360
Speaker 1: really momentous and I must say I'm very humbled that

468
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 1: you are happy to do it here.

469
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 2: No, it's so fine. And also because I said to you,

470
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 2: I think we have to appreciate all stages of relationships.

471
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 2: You can't just like talk about it when it's like

472
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,119
Speaker 2: really good and really secure, because that's not always like

473
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 2: it's not always like that, you know anyway, So but

474
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 2: together since like like kind of dating since August, and

475
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 2: I've been I've always been a very like open person

476
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,439
Speaker 2: with like people, and I don't you know me, I

477
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 2: don't like labels. I feel like labels confine you to

478
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 2: a group that means you can't be fluid and move around.

479
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 2: But Sarah's always known that kind I've been quite open

480
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 2: with in terms of like who like I would go for,

481
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 2: not like there's a specific type or anything. But I've

482
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 2: never been like closed minded to any kind of like

483
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 2: gender or sexuality or anything like that. I think in

484
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 2: the past probably i've like defaulted like dating guys and things,

485
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 2: but I've never been closed off to the idea of

486
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 2: like exploring everything else. So yeah, well, I am in

487
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 2: like a same sex relationship with a girl, and I

488
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 2: love it very much and it's all very nice.

489
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,400
Speaker 1: You said you love her.

490
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,679
Speaker 2: No, actually I said, like, like, I think you should

491
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,680
Speaker 2: make that clear. So we we just like like each other.

492
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 1: We had been through so I found out in the

493
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:16,120
Speaker 1: light in the not saying the L word phase, Oh yeah,

494
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 1: like we.

495
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 2: You'd say true.

496
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 1: Okay, bye, Sarah, I love you okay by person, I

497
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 1: like you.

498
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 2: I was so cute conscious effort to say you were, like,

499
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 2: I love you more than a friend a friend.

500
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,360
Speaker 1: But I think what's really interesting about you is that

501
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 1: it wasn't like it was something you needed to tell

502
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 1: me because you had never been in the same sexual

503
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: relationship before. But it also wasn't something that you needed

504
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: to tell me in that you'd never actually been hetero

505
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 1: before either. You'd kind of always just been this person

506
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,879
Speaker 1: who never saw gender or like. I think one thing

507
00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 1: I love about you so much is you don't really

508
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 1: see age race, like you just see people. You've always

509
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 1: seen people, and you have never discriminated between Like you

510
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 1: get really attracted to personalities and even in your friendships,

511
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 1: like I don't think you see people's the features that

512
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 1: put them in boxes. Otherwise in society, you don't really

513
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: see them. You've always seen beyond them, and so it

514
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,719
Speaker 1: kind of wasn't really even something. It wasn't even really

515
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 1: an announced I was just like, ah, yeah, I.

516
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:24,959
Speaker 2: Think that's why when I was telling you about her,

517
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 2: I was like, it wasn't actually a high. It was

518
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,199
Speaker 2: in like a coming out situation. It was like, Hi,

519
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 2: I actually like someone. This is the person. It was.

520
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 2: It was an announcement of me being like dating someone

521
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 2: a relationship or liking someone, as opposed to like, oh,

522
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 2: by the way, it's like the gender was the reveal.

523
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 2: It was. The reveal was actually just more about the

524
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 2: fact that I was like really liked someone. And so

525
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 2: it was like and I the response that I got

526
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,239
Speaker 2: from all of my first mates when I told them

527
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 2: was exactly what I thought it was going to be.

528
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 2: It was like excited, not because they thought that I

529
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 2: was like coming out or anything. It was excited because

530
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 2: I was like actually like giddy about.

531
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 1: Something, which I don't often totally.

532
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 2: I'm not often like I'm not that I'm hard to please,

533
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 2: but I am a little bit hard to please in

534
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 2: that sense totally.

535
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: It was such a conversation of like, like I think

536
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 1: you maybe thought it was gonna be a bigger deal

537
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 1: like that that like you were like it's a girl, yeah,

538
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh.

539
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 2: My god, you like somebody? Yeah, yeah, you know what

540
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 2: I mean, and just like okay, and but like that's

541
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 2: not contextual. I guess this is. I don't know. I

542
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 2: didn't really think about this deeply in terms of like

543
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 2: us talking about this on here, because I've just never

544
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,679
Speaker 2: been a one to be like like coming out or

545
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 2: whatever whatever. But like I would say, memberism, like a

546
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,360
Speaker 2: lot of my family wouldn't even know, because my cousins,

547
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,880
Speaker 2: a lot of my friends, like some people that I've told,

548
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 2: they're like, oh my god, I didn't know you were that,

549
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,439
Speaker 2: Like I didn't know that's what And I was like,

550
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 2: what do you mean? Like what an? I think it's

551
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 2: been a very interesting experience about how people respond to

552
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 2: the conversation, like if some people just don't respond because

553
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 2: it's so normalized and it's so whatever. Yeah, and then

554
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 2: some people are like, oh, I didn't know that. It

555
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 2: was like, oh, sorry, I didn't know that.

556
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I was out and yeah, but

557
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 1: like you weren't in any I don't.

558
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,880
Speaker 2: Feel like this isn't in or out, which is why

559
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 2: I think I haven't really properly thought about how others

560
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 2: might perceive this conversation because I really don't believe in

561
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 2: the whole coming out thing, because I don't feel like

562
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 2: you should all have to. But at the same time,

563
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,919
Speaker 2: I can appreciate sometimes for people coming out, it's very

564
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 2: liberating and feels like they can finally be themselves and

565
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 2: like openly. So yeah, I do don't really think this

566
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 2: is like I think this was more a discussion of

567
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 2: like whoever I was dating, And yeah, I think it'll

568
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 2: come to a surprise to a lot of people that

569
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 2: maybe don't know me as deeply as you might know me.

570
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's all very lovely, it's all very nice,

571
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 2: it's all very healthy. Yeah, I'm so happy for you.

572
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it is really interesting that you're very

573
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,160
Speaker 1: We've had this conversation before about like you shouldn't need

574
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: to come out, particularly if you weren't not out before.

575
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 1: But I also think we had this conversation on Feast

576
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 1: recently that for some people who were in the closet

577
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,920
Speaker 1: for themselves, like or not in the closet, sorry, who

578
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,199
Speaker 1: hadn't even come to that realization in their own identity.

579
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,199
Speaker 1: Coming out allows them to draw a line in the

580
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: sand in their identity of like, I didn't know who

581
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 1: I was before, and now this is who I am. Like,

582
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 1: sometimes labels are limiting and confining, but sometimes I think

583
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 1: they're helpful when people want to acknowledge a big shift.

584
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 1: Whereas for you, I don't think there was a shift.

585
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 1: I think you just found a new person who you

586
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 1: fell in love with, and they just happened to be

587
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 1: a different gender to the last person you were in

588
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: a relationship with. Do you know what I mean? Like,

589
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: it wasn't a big shift for you.

590
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think I can see both sides. Like

591
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 2: for me, I find a label for me really confining.

592
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 2: But then again, it's the same concept as when people

593
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 2: ask me, you know, what are you going to be

594
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 2: in five years? I was like, I don't know. I

595
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 2: find that question really like restricting because then if I

596
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 2: say something, I feel like I have to hold that

597
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 2: to truth and I have to go towards that path,

598
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 2: and it means I got really delineate if something does happen.

599
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 2: And the same with this, like I'm like if the

600
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 2: minute you're kind of given a label people put you

601
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 2: in that box, particularly with sexuality, and then you can't

602
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 2: be fluid about that. And then if you go the

603
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 2: other way, they're like, oh no, like she's but she's

604
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 2: but she's like a lesbian. But you're like, well, like

605
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 2: what if you know, it's a very fluid thing, you know,

606
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 2: So I just don't put a label. And I kind

607
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 2: of doesn't, like, I just am like, I don't even

608
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 2: know what I am. So I'm kind of just am

609
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 2: I am.

610
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 1: You are foot, Yeah, I'm foot. You're your own category.

611
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I can actually appreciate for a lot of

612
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 2: people it brings like this beautiful sense of like home

613
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 2: and belonging to a group and so like it's a

614
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 2: personal thing for me with the whole label's thing, But yeah,

615
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 2: I can appreciate both sides of it. I just hope

616
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 2: that when people, maybe some of the people listening, that

617
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 2: it's I think, not to assume someone's sexually just because

618
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 2: of who they're dating. Yeah, because it's quite common for

619
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 2: people to be like, Okay, well now that you're a lesbian.

620
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, because it's not like not really case

621
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 2: and I've never said that, and just because you're dating

622
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 2: someone on the same sex. It doesn't necessarily mean that

623
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 2: you're one way, like you're only one way, only the

624
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 2: other way. Yeah, you know, like it's really easy. And

625
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 2: I think I used to do it as well. Like

626
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 2: the minute see someone with the same seat, they're like, oh,

627
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 2: that that person's gay. Yeah, when like it's so it's

628
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 2: like there's all these a big spectrum of like what

629
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 2: you are and can be.

630
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: It's LGBT.

631
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Sarah, I thought, cue I did it.

632
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,960
Speaker 1: It was curious. I did it. I just said something

633
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 1: and then I said it again.

634
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 2: I was like eight for.

635
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: Ally allies, Oh my god. And then you were like,

636
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,719
Speaker 1: that's not even what Oh my god.

637
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 2: Is so great.

638
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: But what's really interesting is, yeah, I think being in

639
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: the moment because a lot of my friends who have

640
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: come out or not come out or have you know,

641
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 1: sit on that spectrum of sexuality. I've known them since

642
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: I've been in the identity therein now I hadn't hadn't

643
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: been there in the process of people around them finding

644
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: out and responding. It's been really interesting to watch people

645
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 1: respond to you and try and be like okay, so

646
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: are you buy now, Like yeah, you're out now, and yeah,

647
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 1: it's sure, it's stude. I'm just like I just fell

648
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: in love with someone, Like that's it.

649
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 2: It's like I'm just in a relationship. But and yeah,

650
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 2: like it is same sexy, Like there's a lot of

651
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 2: learnings and there's like lots of nuances, but it's like

652
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 2: learning a lot of learnings. You've had a lot of

653
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 2: I've had a lot of learnings.

654
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, even I have had like some moments me things.

655
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 1: Experimentation means I know a little bit more like genuinely at.

656
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 2: Least I was like this and this and this. I

657
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 2: was like, wait, well, how do you know that? And

658
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 2: she's like, well, you know, I'm an ally in the

659
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 2: longer younger days. Curious no, like yeah, because I know

660
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 2: it's new, but it's not new. You know, it feels

661
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 2: very safe and comfortable, but it's new in that I think, Yeah,

662
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 2: there's nuances of being in the same sex relationship that

663
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 2: you learn. And she's been really great, like really really great.

664
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 2: I love her.

665
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 1: She passed the best friend, which would be intimidating to

666
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: like walk into us being it's true our own weird

667
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: life so stupid.

668
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 2: So we're so like we will have this like dinner

669
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 2: and then so and I get out our little stupid things.

670
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 2: We were like Google and hysterically laughing.

671
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 1: And there were like other guests there we did not

672
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: know who we should have paved better, could not hold

673
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 1: it together over Google. It like, it's not even that

674
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 1: funny when we.

675
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 2: Tried to, it's not at all. And it was in

676
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 2: a public space, I know, And we were like, we

677
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 2: tried to hold it together, but our like shoulders were shaking,

678
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 2: our nostrils were.

679
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 1: Flaring, nostrils flaring. And then she goes, I'm so glad

680
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 1: you have Sarah, because like no one else would.

681
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 2: Understand, Like, no one, I'm so relieved because I'm so

682
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 2: relieved because you have someone that can match your energy.

683
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: I feel like when people like, what's the secret to

684
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 1: yours and Nick's long life relationship, I'm like, and it's

685
00:32:56,040 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 1: an out and an outlet and a safe space. So yeah,

686
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 1: that's a question that wasn't on the list because obviously

687
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 1: before this announcement, people wouldn't have the context for this question.

688
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 1: And separate to anything about sexuality, I feel like, in

689
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 1: terms of the societal need to categorize and put people

690
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 1: in like boxes and have certainty and all that kind

691
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 1: of stuff in the age bracket we're in and there's

692
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: like weddings and babies and like so much timeline pressure.

693
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 1: And even off the back of our last episode about

694
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: work career pressure and stuff, have you found Like I

695
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 1: know that you had a little bit of trouble at

696
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 1: the start with like the what are we like where

697
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 1: are we going the future? Versus the have you felt

698
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 1: pressure like as soon as you're in a relationship to

699
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 1: like settle down or like know what you are or

700
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: put labels like are we governor and government or are

701
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 1: we like just seeing each other? Like do we love

702
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: each other? Like it's been so long since I went

703
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 1: from dating someone to like making it official to like,

704
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: you know, like how have you navigated that?

705
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the start of the whole like what

706
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 2: are we I actually like I probably didn't think about

707
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 2: a huge amount into weeds actually start discussing a little

708
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 2: bit more like her and I. It wasn't really on

709
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 2: the forefront because I kind of was like we are

710
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 2: what we are and it's kind of really nice at

711
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 2: the minute. And then like the same thing with the

712
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 2: whole label thing, I'm like, it doesn't I don't think

713
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 2: it really changes much. And then I was like, actually, no,

714
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 2: maybe it doesn't change anything, but it's just like a

715
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: symbolic thing for us to be like, yeah, we really

716
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,759
Speaker 2: like each other and we'll be you know, this will

717
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 2: be a nice thing to do or whatever it is.

718
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:35,720
Speaker 2: But navigating that at the start wasn't too hard because

719
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 2: I think you do everything quite intuitively because you're both

720
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 2: in this kind of like honey Mooney type like really

721
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:46,879
Speaker 2: new novel really whiches out of Simham a giant literally

722
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 2: like almost swallowed her teeth because I was trying to

723
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 2: keep it quiet.

724
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 1: Say it like that, but if my brain came out,

725
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 1: that's not going to be our new Google hit.

726
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 2: That is not gonna be it. She created a really

727
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 2: safe space for me to like navigate the whole thing,

728
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 2: and so I never really felt pressure. I think a

729
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,359
Speaker 2: periods you get like scared as you would normally because

730
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, actually I feel things and I'm feeling

731
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 2: feels that, and then you start you realize you care

732
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 2: a lot for this person, and then that's becomes a

733
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,439
Speaker 2: bit scary in terms of committing. But that the fear

734
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,799
Speaker 2: more comes from what everyone always thinks about, which is

735
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,359
Speaker 2: like what if it doesn't work out? Yeah, and then

736
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:33,359
Speaker 2: what if it doesn't work out?

737
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 1: And then I've gone all in and and like you

738
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 1: want to protect a bit of here, but then you're

739
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 1: like if I don't go We had the all in conversation, well.

740
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 2: Like I kind of I kind of reserved myself from

741
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 2: like I feel real all in thing and for a while,

742
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 2: not like consciously, but I was like, I'm just going

743
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 2: with the flow. And it was really nice to just

744
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 2: go with the flow. And we still are very much

745
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:51,839
Speaker 2: going with the flow, which is why I think it's

746
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 2: really healthy. And the all in was more coming from

747
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 2: me stopping worrying about the future as opposed to like,

748
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 2: here is all of my in every single introvan and

749
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna shower you with it like I'm gonna love bombing.

750
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: It was more all in to be like stop worrying

751
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 2: about what's gonna happen and just be like here right

752
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 2: now and be like all for that, as opposed to

753
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 2: like self sabotaging, which we spoke about a lot about

754
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,360
Speaker 2: which I definitely at the start was kind of thinking

755
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 2: about and doing more so as a protective thing is being.

756
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 1: Like, well, you're double guessing yourself everything.

757
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,919
Speaker 2: I was like things I normally really wouldn't care about

758
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 2: because I'm just like me or whatever. I was like

759
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 2: what if this? And what of that? And more so

760
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 2: because you just start to care a little bit more

761
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,399
Speaker 2: and it actually means something. When it means something, you're

762
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 2: like care because like, you know, my last relationship was

763
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 2: really nice and it was really lovely, but I think

764
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 2: it took me a while to like care to the

765
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 2: extent that I do in this one, and so like

766
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 2: more navigating those kinds of overwhelming really strong feelings and

767
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 2: then the higher the reward, the higher the risk or

768
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 2: whatever the risk high the reward type of thing as well,

769
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 2: And that was like kind of like a it wasn't

770
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 2: a blip balls, but it was definitely a discussion that

771
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,839
Speaker 2: I had to have with someone, like like with you

772
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:07,319
Speaker 2: and my birtht girlfriends, to be like, like, I need

773
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 2: perspective because otherwise I'm too in this to really like

774
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 2: take myself out and see everything that it.

775
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 1: Is and thin it was with we're really both.

776
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:18,959
Speaker 2: Communicative, like we're really transparent and really good with telling

777
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 2: each other where we are, which is why I think

778
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 2: it's so healthy and so great. And that's something that

779
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 2: she's taught me and she's really really amazing at creating

780
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 2: a space where you can like talk about things without

781
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,840
Speaker 2: feeling judged, and we both are really good at like

782
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 2: I've become more confident in doing that and so yeah,

783
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 2: I guess it was like hard but not at the

784
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 2: same time, and now we're just like in a really

785
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 2: really great space or place for both of us.

786
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: I think what was really interesting as a friend and mother.

787
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:49,439
Speaker 2: And grandmother and grandmother.

788
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 1: And bnoy was to watch how in relation to your

789
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: career or anything that's not relationship related, you never do that.

790
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,280
Speaker 1: You never double guess yourself, You never overthink the future,

791
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 1: you never fear. Is never a kind of barrier that

792
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 1: changes your behavior. And hadn't seen you do that in

793
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 1: a while, And I was like, whoa dude, you don't

794
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 1: do this in relation to anything else but in relationships,

795
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 1: and this is just anyone listening. Because you're even more

796
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 1: vulnerable you, I think sometimes like go into your shell

797
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: even more and then overthink because it's like, oh it's

798
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 1: going to be if it's too good to be true,

799
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, you just overthink it a lot,

800
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 1: and sometimes you need to talk yourself down the same

801
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:33,800
Speaker 1: way that you would about trying something in your career

802
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: or going for a big dream. It's the same thing,

803
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 1: and yet your behaviors were really different.

804
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. One of the things Seriou said to me was like,

805
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 2: if someone came to you for business and advice, you

806
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 2: just say you won't know until you try.

807
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, follow your heart, just like let it be.

808
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 2: I was like, it's true.

809
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 1: Let self doubt be the reason it doesn't work.

810
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 2: Self doubt kills more dreams than failure. Ever, will just

811
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 2: sees your Yeah.

812
00:38:56,719 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 1: Okay, So now that we have opened this beautiful work whole,

813
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: and there were also quite a few questions for Nick

814
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 1: and I as well, which kind of touch on the

815
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: whole getting in your head about relationships, how you get

816
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 1: over the hurd or blah blah blah, so many things.

817
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: I feel like for Valentine's Day, which will be like

818
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,359
Speaker 1: after our break, not too many episodes in, we should

819
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: do another relationships Q and A episode because if I

820
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 1: get started on the Nick and I question, will you.

821
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 2: Have to answer one of them? No? No, no, no one,

822
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 2: just one quick.

823
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 1: Fire okay, because we have still family slash Asian category

824
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 1: vimb cycling and mindset slash life and travel.

825
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, why don't you answer this really briefly and

826
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 2: then in the Valentine's when you can expand on it.

827
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 1: Okay, and for everyone else who has new follow up

828
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:42,879
Speaker 1: questions for and we will do relationships by question follow

829
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: up episode.

830
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:46,479
Speaker 2: This is news to me too, guys and me and

831
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:50,280
Speaker 2: me and no, mainly it's like I have to listen

832
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 2: to anyone everyone in this room ask about his.

833
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 1: Relationships are like, Okay, bye.

834
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 2: For Sarah, how did you know your relationship was right

835
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,800
Speaker 2: even though you so much time doing your own separate things.

836
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a really interesting question, And I think that

837
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,759
Speaker 1: it's kind of the answer is in the question. I

838
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 1: knew it was right because we can spend so much

839
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,320
Speaker 1: time doing our own separate things, and I never felt

840
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 1: like restrained from doing that even in any relationship, including friendships.

841
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,359
Speaker 1: In my whole life, I've always been that person who

842
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,800
Speaker 1: loves travel, who loves to take up opportunities that involve

843
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 1: being away and even exchanges, Like within the first three

844
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 1: weeks of being together, I went away for six weeks

845
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 1: on my first exchange. Then I came home for five months,

846
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 1: and I went away for nearly a year. So from

847
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 1: the beginning, I was like this is my passion traveling,

848
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,279
Speaker 1: learning languages, starting overseas. I wanted to work overseas, which

849
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,200
Speaker 1: I ended up doing, and he's interested were the same,

850
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:49,839
Speaker 1: and we fell into this ability to be. Like you've

851
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,760
Speaker 1: seen us, we are together. When we're together, we're together

852
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 1: twenty four to seven. We work together, and most couples

853
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 1: can't do that very well. Like we don't really need

854
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 1: space from each other. We can be in the same

855
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 1: room and not talk, or we can be in the

856
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 1: same room and stimulating each other twenty four seven. We

857
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,920
Speaker 1: don't get sick of it. But then we also can

858
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 1: be I can be in Antarctica doing my own thing,

859
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: refinding my identity who I am, completely separately without literal

860
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 1: signal to be able to call him for two weeks,

861
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 1: and we're still really strong and fine. And I think

862
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 1: the reason why we're like in our fourteenth year is

863
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 1: because we can be like so in each other's pockets,

864
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: but also allow each other the space to be like

865
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 1: if you need to go away, like I've lived in

866
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: Hong Kong for a year for my career because it

867
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 1: was the best thing I could do. But for his career,

868
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: he couldn't be in Hong Kong. So we just were like, well,

869
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 1: how could we not allow each other that space to

870
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 1: live apart for a year but still make it work?

871
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 1: And I think that's why. I think if any of

872
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: us had felt like we had to compromise on those

873
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 1: things and we couldn't have each other's support, and it's

874
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: swung in roundabouts. There's been times where he needed to

875
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 1: be in the US for like most of a year.

876
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 1: I think because in the pie chart, like freedom to

877
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 1: travel and work and not necessarily need to both go

878
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,760
Speaker 1: all the time is a big priority. It kind of works. Whereas,

879
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: of course there are other couples who only one person

880
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 1: has that as a priority, it would be really hard

881
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 1: to find the middle ground. But I think I knew

882
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,439
Speaker 1: that he was the one because we've always been.

883
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 2: Able to do that.

884
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, and because when we came back then we could

885
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 1: do the opposite as well. It wasn't like we're it's

886
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: such a spectrum of low touch independence that then when

887
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 1: we're together we're like, h yeah, we're like hey, I

888
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:32,839
Speaker 1: love you. Yeah, Okay. So there were lots of other

889
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 1: follow up questions. Someone a few people actually have asked

890
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 1: for a Nick return. It's been a while, so Valentine's

891
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: Day three way episodes.

892
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 2: I'll be the couple's therapist.

893
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, came, it's going to be a lock in.

894
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: We're going to need twelve hours. It's going to be

895
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,919
Speaker 1: Joe Rogan. We're going to call Joe Rogan. Okay, bim

896
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: family slash Asian hilarious, that that's what you call this.

897
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: But also we've touched on this before in relation to academics.

898
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 1: I think and like the cultural difference between us is

899
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:02,000
Speaker 1: that you had Asian parents and I didn't. Yes, So

900
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:05,360
Speaker 1: it's interesting to have this perspective. And I think, particularly

901
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 1: now in relationship relationships, this hasn't even more depth than

902
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 1: it would have when the person actually asked the question.

903
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: So the first one was your family seemed so close knit,

904
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 1: but did you ever feel dart Asian pressure? Though? Hilarious,

905
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: dut dut. And also how do you deal with the

906
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:22,320
Speaker 1: pressure to get married and have a family, et cetera,

907
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,279
Speaker 1: particularly now that you're in a same sex relationship, how

908
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 1: did you how do you navigate telling them I.

909
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 2: Haven't told them, I.

910
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:34,879
Speaker 1: Have not, I have not and they do not listen to.

911
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,799
Speaker 2: That's fine, risk, but I don't also like things like

912
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 2: fresh relationships. I don't tend to tell my parents like

913
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 2: immediately anyway, like that takes time.

914
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 1: To be a siblings though they all know, yeah they

915
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: are not including me cool, Yeah it's true, but.

916
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 2: They make parents, I mean Asian pressure. Yes, felt particularly

917
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 2: in when I was a teenager, when I was in

918
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 2: high school, But I was very thankful to older sisters

919
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 2: growing up, and they kind of paved the way to

920
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 2: kind of us be doing our own things explore the

921
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 2: world in a very I guess Western way. So we

922
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 2: kind of, like I guess in Asian Tiger parenting books,

923
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 2: we were like a little bit rebellious that we didn't

924
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 2: really listen to my parents if they were like academic

925
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 2: academic academic like sports, sports, port, music, and so yeah,

926
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 2: we kind of like liberated ourselves a little bit by

927
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 2: biting the bullet and doing these things, and despite it

928
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 2: being uncomfortable to have to do, because they were necessarily

929
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 2: approving of it, we knew it was like we weren't

930
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 2: being reckless. We were actually just like growing ourselves, and

931
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 2: we knew that because we were doing that, they'd come

932
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 2: around to it. And they did come around to it,

933
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 2: Like we'd go overseas and they'd be like no, no, no,

934
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 2: no no, and then we'd do it. They'll be like

935
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 2: our daughters traveled with the world.

936
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 1: By herself and it was our idea.

937
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, So like pressure definitely, but now not so much.

938
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:48,439
Speaker 2: The only pressure I feel is something maybe I feel

939
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 2: myself that they necessarily they don't actually impose, and I

940
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 2: don't think they do. Is the need of a status

941
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 2: type job. And I think the reason why I've been

942
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,880
Speaker 2: to so slow to tell them I sign from physio

943
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 2: to dell to casual is because I feel like they'd

944
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 2: be sad that I'm not in this, you know, status

945
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 2: related job anymore, which it's not even the cases. Kathin

946
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 2: works in startups and stuff and they love that of her.

947
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 2: So I think it's a self imposed, like ingrained thing

948
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 2: from when I was younger, because it's not a status

949
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 2: or like an academic or whatever.

950
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 1: A prestigious, typical kind of eye.

951
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,799
Speaker 2: So I do feel it. But I think we were

952
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 2: really great at holding ourselves to stay pretty true to

953
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 2: us and have to just sit in the discomfort for

954
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 2: a little bit to then be able to live pretty

955
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 2: freely now.

956
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: And what about the other family trajectory as well, because

957
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:41,279
Speaker 1: there are one two, three sisters, one brother, no grandchildren yet.

958
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,280
Speaker 1: But are they like putting the pressure.

959
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:46,320
Speaker 2: No, not as good pressure. Mom and dad love kids,

960
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 2: and yes, I think like traditionally they would love to

961
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 2: have grandchildren, love to keep the family name going and

962
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 2: things like that. I think they've been become a bit

963
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 2: more open. Like Kathin's also in the same sex relationship,

964
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 2: and she's a lot older than I am, so I'm

965
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 2: really grateful for her kind of paving the way.

966
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 1: It's not that much older men the same eight years

967
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 1: am I nine years. Okay, So this relationship started as

968
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 1: Catherine and I being in the same level, being like

969
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 1: as you guys know from earlier episodes, and then I

970
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,399
Speaker 1: just was like, oh, my maturity is like minus eight years,

971
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:20,359
Speaker 1: so I might as well moved to.

972
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 2: The younger sister. Oh god. So yeah, there's always there's

973
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 2: not pressure, but you can definitely like in the back

974
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 2: of your mind you're like, yeah, they want one. And

975
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,320
Speaker 2: then being Asian, I think this is a very different

976
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 2: topic that we'll probably speak on another time, but like

977
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 2: you know, being Asian, there's really cultural and religious differences

978
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 2: in terms of like same sex relationships and things like that,

979
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 2: which is a whole nother thing. And yeah, they progressed

980
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 2: a lot in the years, so it's been nice to see,

981
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 2: but there's always like kind of underlying tones and things

982
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 2: like that.

983
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 1: So what about the moving out thing? So this was

984
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 1: a specific question from a fellow Asian. Also, this is

985
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 1: a mass generalization. Obviously not all families have Tiger parents.

986
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:04,320
Speaker 1: Obviously not every single most do the same parents.

987
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 2: It's very likely that you do.

988
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:08,879
Speaker 1: How did your parents feel about you moving out? I'm

989
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:10,799
Speaker 1: literally a few straights away from mine, and I'm sure

990
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:12,359
Speaker 1: they don't mean it, but they do make me feel

991
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 1: bad for not visiting often.

992
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,759
Speaker 2: So mom is like that. Mom was like when we

993
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 2: all bought how she was like, I'm so happy, but

994
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 2: I cry all night. I cry. I cry, And I

995
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 2: was like why she goes all my children or my

996
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:28,320
Speaker 2: children going And I was like, well, we're gonna have to.

997
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:32,360
Speaker 2: And Dad's all like, go bye, see ya, And like secularly,

998
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 2: he loves us when we come back home and we

999
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 2: have weekly dinners so that as we are always like

1000
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 2: we visit often, but sometimes like if I don't see

1001
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 2: a mom for like one of the weekly dinners, Mom's

1002
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 2: like you don't even call me or text me. I

1003
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, I love her. So she

1004
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,800
Speaker 2: like misses the kids so much, but there was some

1005
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:52,919
Speaker 2: pressure to like stay. They don't make us feel bad.

1006
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 2: Dad's very much like yeah, go, like he loves that

1007
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 2: we've all gone and done like the adult thing, and

1008
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 2: they also do love that we come home. And they're

1009
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 2: so proud that you look like me. Now the greatest milestone.

1010
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: Last family question. Your family is so cool. Who is

1011
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,919
Speaker 1: your favorite cousin and why? And also related in terms

1012
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 1: of karaoke abilities, which your family does together often, how

1013
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 1: would you rank you and your siblings from best to

1014
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 1: not best?

1015
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,440
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'll ask that one. And that was definitely

1016
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 2: one of your cousins was No, that was definitely Jen.

1017
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,280
Speaker 2: Which one the karaoke family?

1018
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah? But also the favorite cousin one was probably Yeah.

1019
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:33,480
Speaker 1: The cousin was probably Lynn, you know, because she answered

1020
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 1: all my stories. I was like, Lynn, that was you

1021
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 1: for sure?

1022
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 2: Okay, in that case, my favorite cousin is Lynn. But

1023
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:47,800
Speaker 2: karaoke is Cavane's first. Actually, gonna take that back. Kavin

1024
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 2: is the best singer, but therefore she's the worst at

1025
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 2: karaoke because she sings too well.

1026
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 1: She takes it too seriously.

1027
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 2: She's too good. She harmonizes, Oh no, baby, you got

1028
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 2: to be a bit tracked, you be silly. So I'd

1029
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 2: say Jen for passion, a passionate passion. Sometimes text me

1030
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 2: about what are you doing and'll be like, my home

1031
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 2: goes okay, Matt Preston home karaoke. I would say Jen,

1032
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 2: and then myself. Actually, I think Justine first, Captains, then Jen, then.

1033
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 4: My Justine gets amongstne is amazing, and then Nick and

1034
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,839
Speaker 4: Catherine equal last only because Nick Nick is beat here Nick,

1035
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 4: but Nicholso has passion, but he's K pop.

1036
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:32,360
Speaker 2: He'll be like, maybe you're a fire your world.

1037
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 1: Like pop stars appearances up up the top, so if

1038
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:41,879
Speaker 1: it's a pet and carry and choreography and choreography made

1039
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 1: me learn the BTS. I was like, okay, cool man.

1040
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 2: But Captain's only last because she's too good.

1041
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, she takes it too so, but what about roses

1042
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 1: a lot of solo.

1043
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 2: Mom is number one, definitely Dad's number two, and then

1044
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 2: the siblings in that order that I.

1045
00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 1: Said, that's because your mom doesn't give anyone else in.

1046
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,719
Speaker 2: My mom doesn't even know in her eyes when she

1047
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 2: sings like that's how into it.

1048
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 1: She is.

1049
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 2: Recorded her all the way up to her nostril, and

1050
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 2: she was like, if her bride over, her eyes closed,

1051
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 2: and when you.

1052
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:14,959
Speaker 1: Guys aren't even there, she's still doing karaoke. Why yeah, okay,

1053
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:19,399
Speaker 1: next section. I feel like again we have gone quick

1054
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 1: fire cycling tips to start cycling on the road. I

1055
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 1: really want to start cycling places, but I'm terrified of

1056
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 1: riding on the road. Very common I would say.

1057
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 2: Yes, start on roads that have really wide bicycle paths,

1058
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 2: for example Saint Kilda Road for example, that main one.

1059
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 2: I said, all the others of shit, anything that has

1060
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 2: really wide designated cycle pats. It was a really nice

1061
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 2: one to start in my tippers. Feel like you're a car.

1062
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 2: You belong on the road, like it's a shed. You're like,

1063
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,359
Speaker 2: you're yeah, pretend you're a car.

1064
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 1: Be the car.

1065
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 2: You have to be the car, because otherwise, if the car,

1066
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 2: if you feel like you're a little person in the

1067
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 2: big wide world, it's very scary. So you got to

1068
00:50:57,239 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 2: think you're like big, big hulk. Anyway, Well, then not.

1069
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:02,280
Speaker 1: Everyone has your chunky trunks.

1070
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 2: Okay, it's true, get chunky trunks too.

1071
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:07,319
Speaker 1: Well. That leads to the next question. One of your

1072
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 1: best tips with improving your cycling fitness.

1073
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 2: Get bigger lace, I think, are you gotta do a

1074
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 2: mix if you want to? I think you just got

1075
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 2: you know, a bit like running, You've just got to

1076
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 2: do it consistently more. Find a seat that's comfortable. That's

1077
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 2: the other thing. I think people finally have bikes that

1078
00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 2: aren't comfortable. That makes cycling a long period of time

1079
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,280
Speaker 2: hard and that you feel like you're unfit. It's actually

1080
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 2: just the fit of your bike, the seat of your

1081
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 2: bike are all not right. So I'd actually say invest

1082
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:33,759
Speaker 2: in a small bike fit. It could be a really

1083
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 2: cheap one, really quick one. But a lot of people

1084
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 2: are riding bikes that are way too bigger, way too small,

1085
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 2: and then it just caused a lot of discomfort.

1086
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 1: Please tell me you've got a funny cleat fail story.

1087
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 1: My poor ego is bruised after getting stuck in them

1088
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:48,560
Speaker 1: at traffic lights. Was that Nicholas Davidson who submitted that question?

1089
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 2: No, because his was worse. He like slow mode, tried

1090
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 2: to fall, then he reached out for a pole and

1091
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 2: then his arms was too extended to like a car. No, no, no,

1092
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 2: he like try he was almost going to and then

1093
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:02,359
Speaker 2: he reached out to the Yeah, that's right, and then

1094
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 2: his arms were too extended to do anything else, and

1095
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 2: so he had to like jold himself and I was

1096
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 2: just staying there laughing. No.

1097
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 1: Nick's worst cleat story is that on his Wahoo Kicker

1098
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 1: at home in lockdown station stationary bike with locked in,

1099
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:19,360
Speaker 1: he went too hard because he was competing against other

1100
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 1: people online, fell off the bike, broke it chipped. It

1101
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 1: was this massive crash. Hell, he's like still attached to

1102
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 1: the bike on the side on the floor. Was the best.

1103
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 2: No, worst cleat story. I was on Curfin Road doing

1104
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:37,800
Speaker 2: beach Roo and I came back and it was a

1105
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 2: turning lane and I went to go and then I

1106
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:45,479
Speaker 2: fell off on the side, so everyone behind me missed

1107
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 2: the turning light. Got up, back up, ready to go

1108
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 2: again for the next turning light, went to pedal. My

1109
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 2: didn't realize that my gears had come off, like my

1110
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 2: chain to come off. Fell again to the second game

1111
00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 2: that day. No, that was fell off again. So these

1112
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 2: cars had missed two turning lights in Albert Park. Go

1113
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 2: for it again, come on again, ready to rock. Literally

1114
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:09,879
Speaker 2: can't get my clique in in time. And then I'm

1115
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 2: like doing this slow motion full to the side for

1116
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 2: the third time I'd banked up like all the traffic

1117
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,319
Speaker 2: I've different. No, it was funny anyway, So yeah, allways

1118
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 2: happens happened all the time, sudents.

1119
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 1: And on that cycling note, we did a bit of

1120
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:26,320
Speaker 1: a teaser of a bike related story submission because we

1121
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 1: had something really excited to announce, which didn't eventuate this

1122
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,759
Speaker 1: year by my fault exclusively because we were traveling so

1123
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 1: much and we didn't organize it. And also Andrew's fault,

1124
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 1: also exclusively because she didn't leave her job on time

1125
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 1: more available to help. So that will be a twenty

1126
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 1: twenty three project that we will still bring to life.

1127
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 1: So for those who did submit their stories, and there

1128
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:47,400
Speaker 1: were some lovely ones, we will have something very excitedly

1129
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 1: call you but sorry, just I haven't forgotten or just

1130
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 1: decided against it. We just didn't have time. So bim

1131
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:56,920
Speaker 1: for the mindset slash life ones, there's quite a few,

1132
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 1: and I feel like they're big questions. Are you feeling

1133
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 1: open to doing a you know when you like reply

1134
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 1: on oh yes, on your story.

1135
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:08,280
Speaker 2: We'll do three quick fight and the rest all right, Yeah.

1136
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 1: Because I feel like some of them are really big,

1137
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,759
Speaker 1: beautiful questions, like, well, one of them is actually a

1138
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 1: relationship one, but about your biggest insecurities about ever having

1139
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:18,439
Speaker 1: down days? Like I feel like we've spoken a little

1140
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:20,480
Speaker 1: bit about the of course you have down days, but

1141
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 1: we could also end up speaking about that for a

1142
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 1: really long time. But one I think is really important

1143
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:27,560
Speaker 1: for you to answer here because it's fascinating and we

1144
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: don't speak about this enough. How do you work on

1145
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,400
Speaker 1: your financials? Buying a house at this age is amazing,

1146
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:35,800
Speaker 1: fully thought that I am. And then how are you

1147
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 1: able to retire in an adult world that needs payment

1148
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 1: for adult bills? To clarify, she has not She's still working,

1149
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 1: just left one job to go into another structure.

1150
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 2: How do I manage my financials? I'm actually a really

1151
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 2: shit financial manager, to be completely honest, sir, And as

1152
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:54,439
Speaker 2: I hate it, I hate it so much. I think

1153
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:58,839
Speaker 2: what helped with buying the house maybe back full transparent here,

1154
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 2: Like Dad has this thing where he's always wanted to

1155
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:04,839
Speaker 2: be a part of our buying house story for all

1156
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:08,320
Speaker 2: of us kids, And so I probably had like fifteen

1157
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:11,479
Speaker 2: percent or something as a deposit, and Dad really wanted

1158
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 2: to mass make sure he had a twenty percent deposit,

1159
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,840
Speaker 2: and so he contributed like the extra for that, so

1160
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 2: I'd be like fully transparent as I feel like people

1161
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:21,960
Speaker 2: think that I was like so, and I was like no,

1162
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 2: like a very privileged to have dad like offer that,

1163
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 2: and like you did be saved obviously saved the it yeah, yeah,

1164
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 2: like the majority of it. And so, but I had

1165
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 2: put it out there because otherwise people have like a like,

1166
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,880
Speaker 2: I don't want to set a preceense that's not necessarily

1167
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:42,200
Speaker 2: true about myself in terms of working out with the financials.

1168
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 2: I think what I've started to do a lot more

1169
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:46,080
Speaker 2: is have a gauge of how much I will earn

1170
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 2: for the year just around about just because I have

1171
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 2: multiple income streams, and then like macro repayments like being

1172
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 2: like mortgage, and then kind of sussing out what I

1173
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:57,319
Speaker 2: have in between a few other things that I guess

1174
00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:00,839
Speaker 2: I do is for it's not necessarily a saving thing,

1175
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:03,400
Speaker 2: but I have multiple incomes. That's one thing. Like multiple

1176
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:06,880
Speaker 2: income streams too. I have a shares portfolio, not a

1177
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,920
Speaker 2: huge one, but I still I do have one, and

1178
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:10,879
Speaker 2: I hold that and that's a very much long term

1179
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 2: strategy and then three, I've got obviously the house, which

1180
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 2: is more of a like a growth investment thing. But

1181
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,600
Speaker 2: previously I would, you know, I would work multiple jobs.

1182
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 2: I actually don't have a very overly expensive life. I

1183
00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 2: didn't I say I didn't, but I don't know about

1184
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 2: it now I just spent I don't go clubbing. I

1185
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:28,520
Speaker 2: don't spend a lot of money, like on a huge

1186
00:56:28,560 --> 00:56:31,759
Speaker 2: amount of like clothes and things because she steals on

1187
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:33,239
Speaker 2: my It's true, it's true.

1188
00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 1: And then I also like don't frugal.

1189
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:37,839
Speaker 2: But where my money goes.

1190
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm like overly frug I just don't know.

1191
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 1: You're just like clever.

1192
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 2: The things I spend on aren't expensive. That's the difference. Yeah,

1193
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:45,800
Speaker 2: And so but I spend a lot of money on

1194
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:49,279
Speaker 2: like food and like for other people or whatever it is.

1195
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:51,920
Speaker 2: And so living at home helped with saving grant. That's

1196
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 2: one thing. Also shares portfolio, which is strategic in the recession.

1197
00:56:56,600 --> 00:57:00,359
Speaker 2: Multiple jobs, Like I'm set up business wise in way

1198
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:04,360
Speaker 2: that means that it's a slightly better tax situation. Like

1199
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 2: I set up as a company under a trust which

1200
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 2: we set up when I was started paper planes, which

1201
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,800
Speaker 2: means that distribution is a bit different. It's well, this

1202
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:13,239
Speaker 2: like being fully transparent, and then in terms of the

1203
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 2: actual saving side of things, I kind of I guess

1204
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 2: I'm always conscious of how much I have, but I'm

1205
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 2: not actively like put X amount of weight. I was

1206
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 2: like that when I was saving for the house, but

1207
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 2: after that I've kind of just like kind of know

1208
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 2: how much I'm getting how much it's going out as

1209
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 2: an overview as opposed to like actively saving, because I

1210
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 2: think for right now, I've been saving for so long

1211
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 2: that I was like, might just kind of want to

1212
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 2: chill out a little bit and kind of be a

1213
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 2: bit freer. But yeah, it does help modil income streams

1214
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:41,800
Speaker 2: is probably the biggest asset that I have.

1215
00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 1: But it does mean I'm being organized about those income

1216
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 1: streams though, Like you don't just you know, some people

1217
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 1: just like all the money comes in and then they

1218
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 1: just spend what's in there, like they don't look at

1219
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 1: kind of yeah, you have a vague idea, well not

1220
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:57,919
Speaker 1: even vague, you have an idea of your overarching plan. Yeah,

1221
00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:01,560
Speaker 1: you're like outgoings that are then you know how much

1222
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:04,000
Speaker 1: you can, like before you go and spend on extra stuff.

1223
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 1: You tend to know how much you have there to spend,

1224
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:08,160
Speaker 1: you know, just like yeah, buy shit and they go, oh,

1225
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:10,479
Speaker 1: there's not enough left, Like yeah, you're very on top

1226
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 1: of a budget, even if you're not justly setting up like.

1227
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:15,600
Speaker 2: I would never do find out pay laters like I

1228
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:17,640
Speaker 2: don't like, yeah, like that kind of dead. I don't

1229
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 2: have a credit card.

1230
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 1: Well, that's a huge one.

1231
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 2: That you don't have a credit card.

1232
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 1: That's huge.

1233
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 2: That's a purposeful, conscious decision. And I choose cheap flights

1234
00:58:25,520 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 2: when I go so, yeah, I guess.

1235
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:30,920
Speaker 1: That was a really good that was that transparency I

1236
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,000
Speaker 1: think is like really useful to a lot of people.

1237
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:35,760
Speaker 1: And then there's some amazing questions in here, like what

1238
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 1: inspires you to have your right now, I'm just living

1239
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 1: life attitude? What's your favorite worst mistake? Oh, that's a

1240
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 1: really good one. Where do you get your energy? There's

1241
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 1: something about imposter syndrome from a fellow potent SUI sister

1242
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 1: oh mcrovvill life. Oh so I think ANDRELI answer those

1243
00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:53,560
Speaker 1: in more detail. And there's quite a few other ones

1244
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,959
Speaker 1: about mindset and life. But another quick fire one before

1245
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:58,040
Speaker 1: you move to the last section is what's your next

1246
00:58:58,080 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 1: big thing or challenge?

1247
00:58:59,480 --> 00:58:59,919
Speaker 2: That's hard.

1248
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 1: Well, just like managed being hot.

1249
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:06,320
Speaker 2: Manage my modeling career.

1250
00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 1: Okay, did your only fans build my portfolio?

1251
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:13,120
Speaker 2: No? I think I don't know. I think managing this

1252
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:15,400
Speaker 2: next year. Now that I'm like very much in this

1253
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:18,960
Speaker 2: startup life, it's very like I'm really a yes person.

1254
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 2: So anytime someone, like a client, a new client comes along,

1255
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:23,760
Speaker 2: or ask someone asks for help, I tend to say yes,

1256
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 2: and that becomes a new client. So I think managing

1257
00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:28,240
Speaker 2: my year with businesses. But Friendo, I'm looking forward to

1258
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 2: like being a bigger part of. Like We've had some

1259
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 2: really fun and nice discussions about how I could be

1260
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 2: a bigger part of like the founding team of Friendo,

1261
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:38,960
Speaker 2: which is all very exciting. So I guess that's the

1262
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 2: big the next big thing.

1263
00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:47,320
Speaker 1: Okay, well, CZA like whatever is a very small part

1264
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 1: of who I am, just a small project project.

1265
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 2: But I want to answer this one really quickly. But

1266
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 2: right now I'm living life. Yep comes from and I've

1267
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:00,680
Speaker 2: said this million times before, but I still you'll live

1268
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 2: by it is that we're not guarantee you the future

1269
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 2: or their future. We guarantee what is right now and

1270
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:09,440
Speaker 2: what is in the next minute. But otherwise it sounds morbid,

1271
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 2: but things happen. Life is not guaranteed to anyone, and

1272
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:16,720
Speaker 2: so why not live it up now because.

1273
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 1: I love that.

1274
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:18,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all you have.

1275
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 1: That's it, okay, travel you exercised and worked during this

1276
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 1: last like your recent trip. Do you prefer to maintain

1277
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:29,479
Speaker 1: some normal routine on your travels? And how I feel

1278
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 1: like that all goes out the window for me too

1279
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 1: much to see and do. And we just spoke in

1280
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 1: the car about how you're about to go away to

1281
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:37,520
Speaker 1: New Zealand with family and one thing that does happen

1282
01:00:37,560 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 1: when you travel is you just get all out of

1283
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:41,920
Speaker 1: your home routine, which is obviously like it's such a

1284
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:44,600
Speaker 1: nice problem to have, but yeah, how do you kind

1285
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 1: of manage that?

1286
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 2: Running on my travels was when you can combine the

1287
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:52,200
Speaker 2: travel aspect with the routine aspect that it becomes easy.

1288
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 2: So running in my troubles is actually was a way

1289
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:58,040
Speaker 2: of me seeing things. So like in the morning, I

1290
01:00:58,120 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 2: would run around the air that I just didn't know

1291
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:04,320
Speaker 2: and then almost in my brain bookmark all these cool

1292
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 2: things that I want to come back to in the day.

1293
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 2: And when you're traveling because of the way that I travel,

1294
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:11,960
Speaker 2: it's like the days just like unplanned, unstructured, and you

1295
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 2: kind of roam for hours and hours. And I feel

1296
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,280
Speaker 2: like when you travel, the days feel long, like you've

1297
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:19,040
Speaker 2: just fit so much in the day. Like here, you

1298
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:20,600
Speaker 2: come home after work and that's kind of the end

1299
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:23,160
Speaker 2: of the day. You wind down at like six o'clock. There,

1300
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,560
Speaker 2: you have dinner, then you go back out and you

1301
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 2: go go for another night walk and then you go

1302
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:29,840
Speaker 2: for another room and you don't really get back into

1303
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:31,800
Speaker 2: a nine or ten or later or whatever. So the

1304
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,120
Speaker 2: days are long, and so I fit in the run

1305
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:39,200
Speaker 2: as a means of like exploration, seeing places like vetting

1306
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 2: places that I want to see try. And also you

1307
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:42,280
Speaker 2: feel a bit like.

1308
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:44,880
Speaker 1: A local, like you feel like you're seeing a side

1309
01:01:44,920 --> 01:01:47,560
Speaker 1: of the Yeah, like you're doing this, you wouldn't.

1310
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 2: You see locals running and so yeah, I intertwine it

1311
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 2: with the actual travel side of things. But also in

1312
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 2: my brain, I need to move, Like I know, walking

1313
01:01:55,840 --> 01:01:59,640
Speaker 2: is really great, but like just I it's really important

1314
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:03,440
Speaker 2: to me to keep moving at a sometimes higher intensity,

1315
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:05,880
Speaker 2: and so it makes me like more set up for

1316
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 2: the day. So I try to do that as a

1317
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 2: minimum if I'm traveling.

1318
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 1: But you're pretty good at like allowing yourself to not

1319
01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:15,320
Speaker 1: have your normal routine for the sake of travel, restoring

1320
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 1: it when you get back.

1321
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like the freest travel in my last trip there,

1322
01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 2: it isn't the reason why I ran it was because

1323
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 2: it was a bit of a different trip. It was

1324
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:22,840
Speaker 2: like I worked while I was away. I was kind

1325
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 2: of a way to kind of like recharge as opposed

1326
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:27,400
Speaker 2: to be overly adventurous.

1327
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, what backpack do you use?

1328
01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:33,680
Speaker 2: I use a mac pack. It's like a hiking bag.

1329
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:36,000
Speaker 2: It's a forty leader for my smaller trips. And then

1330
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 2: I've got a Catman do bigger one that's more like

1331
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 2: a seventy leader for like if I go for like

1332
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 2: my longer one was like five months, So I took

1333
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 2: that one and for all my trips now, I use

1334
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 2: like a hiking it's almost like a hiking backpack.

1335
01:02:48,400 --> 01:02:51,000
Speaker 1: Will your great aunt from Vietnam ever come visit again?

1336
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:53,440
Speaker 1: And also do you miss her? And why is my

1337
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:55,360
Speaker 1: thing typing what I'm saying?

1338
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 2: I was like, what are your questions coming along?

1339
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:00,360
Speaker 1: I don't know what I've done.

1340
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:03,120
Speaker 2: My grandaunt probably won't ever come back to visit again.

1341
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:04,840
Speaker 2: It was just so hard to get her here, and

1342
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:07,440
Speaker 2: she just loves Yeah, she loves being in Vietnam, and

1343
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:08,640
Speaker 2: it was such a long period of time that she

1344
01:03:08,720 --> 01:03:10,320
Speaker 2: was here for that she probably won't come back again.

1345
01:03:10,680 --> 01:03:12,200
Speaker 2: I do miss her and I love her. Mom and

1346
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:15,919
Speaker 2: Daddy going back in February, and I probably won't only

1347
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,560
Speaker 2: because I think I've got a wedding. But I just

1348
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:20,080
Speaker 2: feel like I need to settle book in your hair.

1349
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:23,960
Speaker 2: But I love it like I the reason part of

1350
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 2: why I love the work that I get to do

1351
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 2: now is that I can see her whenever I want,

1352
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:29,440
Speaker 2: like I don't have to book and leave. So I

1353
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:31,000
Speaker 2: probably go at the end of next year. The only

1354
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 2: reason why I didn't go this year I was meant

1355
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:35,000
Speaker 2: to go in November was because Dad had a big

1356
01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:37,920
Speaker 2: heart surgery that we didn't go.

1357
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:42,200
Speaker 1: Last two questions, and these are beautiful questions because I

1358
01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:44,440
Speaker 1: think this is one thing You're very good and inspiring

1359
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:48,080
Speaker 1: in others and particularly for me. Being on the Intrepid

1360
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 1: Trips has been something that I've loved watching how do

1361
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:53,680
Speaker 1: you find the courage to travel on your own? And

1362
01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:57,440
Speaker 1: then tips on once you decide to travel solo on

1363
01:03:57,680 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 1: doing that, And I feel like I've seen like a

1364
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:04,280
Speaker 1: majority of people on the intrepreteurs we're traveling solo in Antarctica.

1365
01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:06,760
Speaker 1: The youngest person was nineteen and she came on her

1366
01:04:06,840 --> 01:04:09,240
Speaker 1: own because it was often you can't find someone who

1367
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:11,800
Speaker 1: wants to prioritize the same destination as you, and you

1368
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:13,840
Speaker 1: do it all the time and have shown me like

1369
01:04:13,960 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful thing to do.

1370
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:18,000
Speaker 2: It is one of my favorite things to do. Definitely,

1371
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:19,960
Speaker 2: how do I encourage to travel on your own? I

1372
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:24,120
Speaker 2: think it's a sense of like sense of fearlessness but

1373
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:26,120
Speaker 2: trust of the world at the same time, if that

1374
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:29,440
Speaker 2: makes sense. I think as opposed to like focusing all

1375
01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:32,440
Speaker 2: the bad things that happen or can happen, I'm very

1376
01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:35,960
Speaker 2: like not like it won't happen to me, and I

1377
01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 2: can appreciate it. I know it does happen, But if

1378
01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:39,840
Speaker 2: you kind of focus on that, the world seems like

1379
01:04:39,880 --> 01:04:42,080
Speaker 2: a really scary place and then you kind of it's

1380
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:45,040
Speaker 2: a barrier to doing many exciting things. The thing that

1381
01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:48,840
Speaker 2: I always remember or think about is it seems far away,

1382
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:51,840
Speaker 2: like these destinations are a different country, different continent, but

1383
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:56,720
Speaker 2: it's the same world. Like they have internet, they have cafes,

1384
01:04:57,240 --> 01:05:01,200
Speaker 2: they have phones, they have trained, they have technology, like

1385
01:05:01,240 --> 01:05:06,919
Speaker 2: it's actually just the same, but many places that people

1386
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 2: would go have all of that, so you have a

1387
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:12,920
Speaker 2: safety net of if you want to set yourself up right.

1388
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:14,880
Speaker 2: There's many things. You know. You can set up your

1389
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:18,920
Speaker 2: phone to have your favorites contacted, like your emergency contacts sorted.

1390
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 2: You can leave your location on if you want to

1391
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:24,920
Speaker 2: to your closest friends on the iPhones or whatever. You

1392
01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:26,800
Speaker 2: can make sure someone you're telling someone where you go

1393
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:29,200
Speaker 2: in the next day or the next steps. You can

1394
01:05:29,240 --> 01:05:32,600
Speaker 2: share with your siblings, your itinery, your flight details, all

1395
01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:35,360
Speaker 2: that stuff you can do as contingency when you're traveling alone.

1396
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:38,240
Speaker 2: But you also realize, like I as much as I'm

1397
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:41,840
Speaker 2: pretty reckless, some would say like hitchhike.

1398
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:45,640
Speaker 1: And whatever, hostels and the mother of you, that is

1399
01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:46,200
Speaker 1: not okay.

1400
01:05:47,480 --> 01:05:49,960
Speaker 2: It's like if the world is safer than you think,

1401
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:53,760
Speaker 2: despite the like things that happen around the world, And

1402
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:58,080
Speaker 2: then you've got hostels which with like minded people. The

1403
01:05:58,160 --> 01:05:59,920
Speaker 2: minute you're on your own, people tend to come up

1404
01:05:59,920 --> 01:06:01,520
Speaker 2: to you and be like, where are you from, like

1405
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:03,840
Speaker 2: chat to you, make you feel like, you know, involve

1406
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:05,720
Speaker 2: you in things. The minute you with someone else, though.

1407
01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:07,520
Speaker 1: The people don't do that, and you don't do that,

1408
01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 1: and you don't open yourself, so yes, you.

1409
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,320
Speaker 2: Don't make these beautiful friendships and meet people around the world.

1410
01:06:12,720 --> 01:06:14,320
Speaker 2: And a bit of it is trust, but a bit

1411
01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:17,360
Speaker 2: of it is like self confidence in that you can

1412
01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:20,080
Speaker 2: do that by yourself. And I think sometimes we say

1413
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:23,760
Speaker 2: like we're a female and buy virtue of that. Unfortunately,

1414
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 2: there are things that happens to females that wouldn't just

1415
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:29,600
Speaker 2: happen to men. But you know, rather than sometimes focusing

1416
01:06:29,640 --> 01:06:31,680
Speaker 2: on that aspect of things, you're like, no, I'm actually

1417
01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:34,680
Speaker 2: a very strong, independent female that it's going to do this.

1418
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:36,960
Speaker 2: And then yeah, you set yourself up in all the

1419
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:40,000
Speaker 2: other safety measures that you can in the time if

1420
01:06:40,040 --> 01:06:41,960
Speaker 2: you it's your first time, you can go to like

1421
01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:44,680
Speaker 2: you know, areas that are much more populated, are much

1422
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:48,600
Speaker 2: more dense with much more hostiles and options and transport

1423
01:06:48,720 --> 01:06:50,800
Speaker 2: and technology and Wi Fi and things like that, and

1424
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:53,360
Speaker 2: make your seels feel safer. But I think just like

1425
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:55,920
Speaker 2: trying it is the only way to know if that's

1426
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:58,240
Speaker 2: for you. It's not for everyone, but yeah, just choose

1427
01:06:58,280 --> 01:06:59,760
Speaker 2: a place where it feel safe. The other thing you

1428
01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:02,200
Speaker 2: can do is like go solo for a period and

1429
01:07:02,200 --> 01:07:03,720
Speaker 2: then meet up with someone that you know you're going

1430
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:05,960
Speaker 2: to meet up within seven days or something, and that

1431
01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:09,320
Speaker 2: way everything feels a bit nicer and like it's not

1432
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:09,880
Speaker 2: as scary.

1433
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:13,360
Speaker 1: And I also feel like if you book a group tour,

1434
01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:17,080
Speaker 1: like a small group tour, like with Intrepid or someone

1435
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:19,000
Speaker 1: like that sound like this is an ad it's not.

1436
01:07:19,560 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 1: I genuinely have seen so many solo travelers on these

1437
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:26,360
Speaker 1: trips who like, there's traveling solo outside of the structure

1438
01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:28,760
Speaker 1: of a tour, and that's like very adventurous. But if

1439
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:30,920
Speaker 1: you're not quite ready for that and you want to

1440
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:32,920
Speaker 1: be in a small group but solo in terms of

1441
01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:36,040
Speaker 1: without your friends or without like traveling physically getting to

1442
01:07:36,120 --> 01:07:38,360
Speaker 1: that place with someone else, it then gives you the

1443
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:40,080
Speaker 1: safety of knowing someone's going to meet you. At the

1444
01:07:40,120 --> 01:07:41,919
Speaker 1: other end, you're going to be traveling in a group

1445
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,440
Speaker 1: when you go to the sites, like particularly countries that

1446
01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:47,360
Speaker 1: are a bit more adventurous. I've found it gives people

1447
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:49,000
Speaker 1: a little bit of a safety in net, like I'll

1448
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:52,080
Speaker 1: be with people, I'll meet other solo travelers. Yeah, Like

1449
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 1: there are ways to set yourself up so that you're

1450
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:56,960
Speaker 1: not completely a lot, like you just rock up to

1451
01:07:57,040 --> 01:07:59,280
Speaker 1: this country with no structure and no people to meet

1452
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:00,800
Speaker 1: you and no one who knows so you are. Yeah,

1453
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:03,880
Speaker 1: the guided tours in groups is an amazing way to

1454
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:06,280
Speaker 1: meet new people, and you do you force yourself, Like

1455
01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:09,000
Speaker 1: to be fair, in Antarcticrib went with a group of people,

1456
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:10,600
Speaker 1: but I was solo in terms of like Nick wasn't

1457
01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 1: with me, I didn't go with a friend. I was

1458
01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:13,480
Speaker 1: there for work and I wasn't with them. Most of

1459
01:08:13,520 --> 01:08:15,480
Speaker 1: the time. I just sat and spoke to people. I

1460
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:17,639
Speaker 1: would never make conversations exactly, And it's the best.

1461
01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:20,280
Speaker 2: It's actually the best. It's very soul filling. So I'd

1462
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:23,840
Speaker 2: say anyone that thrives or needs a sense of adventures,

1463
01:08:23,880 --> 01:08:27,679
Speaker 2: sense of freedom, that wants to like explore, make new friends,

1464
01:08:28,160 --> 01:08:30,400
Speaker 2: like live on the edge a little bit, traveling solo

1465
01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:32,760
Speaker 2: is a really fun. If anyone feels like they need

1466
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:34,519
Speaker 2: a lot more structure, a lot more routine, a lot

1467
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:36,760
Speaker 2: more planning, still can definitely do it.

1468
01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:38,400
Speaker 1: Just set yourself up in a way there.

1469
01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:41,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I would just recommend it for

1470
01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:43,599
Speaker 2: everyone to try once anur And it's.

1471
01:08:43,479 --> 01:08:46,000
Speaker 1: So liberating because you can so whatever you want you

1472
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:48,599
Speaker 1: literally don't have to work your schedule around anybody else.

1473
01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:51,680
Speaker 2: The way I travel, I book the flights and then

1474
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:54,200
Speaker 2: I booked two nights of accommodation in my first destination,

1475
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:57,200
Speaker 2: and that is all. Like with Turkey, I booked a

1476
01:08:57,240 --> 01:08:59,040
Speaker 2: flight to Istanbul, and then I booked a flight home

1477
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:02,639
Speaker 2: from Dublin Island, and I booked only two nights in Istanbul,

1478
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:05,000
Speaker 2: and then when I arrived is when I decided what

1479
01:09:05,240 --> 01:09:07,760
Speaker 2: the vibes were like, and then I continued from then,

1480
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:11,240
Speaker 2: I was like, tomorrow I'm going to Bulgaria. And that's

1481
01:09:11,280 --> 01:09:11,720
Speaker 2: how it works.

1482
01:09:11,760 --> 01:09:14,880
Speaker 1: You're probably like on the more adventurous spect solo travel,

1483
01:09:15,320 --> 01:09:17,400
Speaker 1: but yeah, I feel like the times I've done it,

1484
01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:19,960
Speaker 1: even just like taking yourself off to a restaurant and people,

1485
01:09:21,439 --> 01:09:23,560
Speaker 1: you do have to get over the weird, Like it

1486
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:25,439
Speaker 1: does feel weird for a second. It does feel like

1487
01:09:25,439 --> 01:09:27,240
Speaker 1: if you've never done it before. A lot of people

1488
01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:29,240
Speaker 1: haven't even gone out to dinner by themselves in their

1489
01:09:29,360 --> 01:09:32,080
Speaker 1: troun city. But there's something about doing it for the

1490
01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:34,720
Speaker 1: first time and just getting over that it feels a

1491
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:36,720
Speaker 1: bit weird and you don't have someone to talk to,

1492
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:39,920
Speaker 1: but then you just realize, like who cares that genuinely,

1493
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:41,680
Speaker 1: you don't want to miss out on a destination just

1494
01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:43,720
Speaker 1: because no one else you know wants to go there, Like,

1495
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:46,439
Speaker 1: there are ways to do it, and that's the beauty

1496
01:09:46,479 --> 01:09:48,200
Speaker 1: of it. It makes you be a little bit uncomfortable

1497
01:09:48,320 --> 01:09:50,599
Speaker 1: and then it makes you like expand the studio personality

1498
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:51,360
Speaker 1: you never get to do that with.

1499
01:09:51,560 --> 01:09:52,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the best.

1500
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:54,519
Speaker 1: Well, there are so many things we could talk about.

1501
01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:56,759
Speaker 1: There are many other topics, many other questions, and also

1502
01:09:56,840 --> 01:09:58,800
Speaker 1: there are many end of year slash start of a

1503
01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:01,080
Speaker 1: new year reflections because you and I are both very

1504
01:10:01,080 --> 01:10:02,840
Speaker 1: symbolic about this out of any year. But I feel

1505
01:10:02,880 --> 01:10:05,080
Speaker 1: like that can be for our first episode next year.

1506
01:10:05,920 --> 01:10:07,840
Speaker 1: And so if anyone does have any questions that are

1507
01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:11,200
Speaker 1: like new Year's resolution and in our writing journals, et

1508
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:12,680
Speaker 1: cetera related.

1509
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:14,200
Speaker 2: I feel like the rest of the Yu'll Forever and

1510
01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:15,840
Speaker 2: Ever now is going to be like so ask your

1511
01:10:15,920 --> 01:10:17,559
Speaker 2: questions and we shall respond.

1512
01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:20,400
Speaker 1: Literally is the funnest way to structure of these episodes,

1513
01:10:20,439 --> 01:10:22,680
Speaker 1: particularly since we can do them more often now. I

1514
01:10:22,880 --> 01:10:25,880
Speaker 1: literally ask Kane, can we have a regular slot? Now

1515
01:10:25,920 --> 01:10:28,519
Speaker 1: that A is like full time, which is really exciting.

1516
01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:32,880
Speaker 1: So I hope you guys enjoyed these, this double Q

1517
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:35,320
Speaker 1: and a everything else we've done this year. I promise,

1518
01:10:35,479 --> 01:10:38,120
Speaker 1: as I keep promising, my promise is are worth nothing.

1519
01:10:38,200 --> 01:10:41,760
Speaker 1: Now next year will be a lot more structured, We'll

1520
01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:44,639
Speaker 1: have a lot more and and I hope you guys

1521
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:46,760
Speaker 1: have an amazing holidays, a little bit of a break,

1522
01:10:47,280 --> 01:10:49,320
Speaker 1: a beautiful end of year and start of a new year,

1523
01:10:49,400 --> 01:10:55,480
Speaker 1: and we'll be back in two weeks. I think, happy, happy, happy.

1524
01:10:56,840 --> 01:10:57,160
Speaker 2: Having you.

1525
01:10:57,280 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 1: I was trying to make it like yeah, but nothing right.

1526
01:10:59,080 --> 01:11:01,439
Speaker 2: Now, just have in new year, guys. Not everything has

1527
01:11:01,479 --> 01:11:02,600
Speaker 2: to be branded.

1528
01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:05,519
Speaker 1: But it does happen. Yeah happy, Nah, it doesn't work.

1529
01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:10,000
Speaker 2: Thank you guys, We love you. Bye bye