WEBVTT - The Spy Who Shagged Me 0:00:10.888 --> 0:00:15.408 You're listening to a Muma mea podcast. Muma Me acknowledges 0:00:15.448 --> 0:00:18.608 the traditional owners of the land and waters. This podcast 0:00:18.688 --> 0:00:28.568 is recorded on There's nothing quite like the instant connection 0:00:28.688 --> 0:00:31.008 you feel when you meet someone and just know they 0:00:31.048 --> 0:00:33.968 could be your person. It's a bond that runs deep, 0:00:34.128 --> 0:00:38.968 felt emotionally, intellectually and physically so powerful that together you 0:00:39.007 --> 0:00:41.688 feel capable of conquering anything and everything. 0:00:42.168 --> 0:00:45.648 I was so into it, and I was really taken 0:00:45.688 --> 0:00:48.647 with his views of the world and his approach on things. 0:00:49.328 --> 0:00:52.968 And there's a saying that says small minds speak about 0:00:52.968 --> 0:00:56.688 other people, medium sized minds speak about events, and open 0:00:56.848 --> 0:01:00.208 large minds speak about ideas. And I really felt it 0:01:00.248 --> 0:01:02.608 was like that we would were solving the problems of 0:01:02.648 --> 0:01:03.088 the world. 0:01:03.568 --> 0:01:04.768 And it was a really. 0:01:05.408 --> 0:01:08.288 Nourishing experience to be in where I felt like this 0:01:08.408 --> 0:01:10.848 is good for the soul and the and the body. 0:01:11.568 --> 0:01:14.448 I felt we were completely infatuated with each other. 0:01:15.128 --> 0:01:18.968 Everything was perfect. But with a connection this strong, it's 0:01:19.008 --> 0:01:21.807 easy to overlook a few signs to give your person 0:01:21.808 --> 0:01:24.608 the benefit of the doubt, but that doesn't mean everyone 0:01:24.648 --> 0:01:26.568 in your corner will see it the same way. 0:01:26.968 --> 0:01:32.368 My little sister, she put her energy into investigating Jake. 0:01:32.688 --> 0:01:36.128 Whatever it took, she was on the case. And of 0:01:36.168 --> 0:01:38.768 course she's relaying all this information to my other sister 0:01:38.848 --> 0:01:41.088 and my mum, and so it was like this three 0:01:41.168 --> 0:01:45.128 way onslaught from my family of what are you doing? 0:01:45.168 --> 0:01:47.048 And get out of there? And what's wrong with you? 0:01:47.128 --> 0:01:50.128 And how can you be so stupid? Like it was text, 0:01:50.288 --> 0:01:53.848 it was calls, it was relentless. 0:02:03.688 --> 0:02:06.168 I'm Georgia love and this is everyone has an ex 0:02:06.368 --> 0:02:08.568 Come with me as we dive into a collection of 0:02:08.728 --> 0:02:13.048 unconventional stories about relationships passed through the eyes and the 0:02:13.088 --> 0:02:16.327 hearts of the very people who lived them. We've all 0:02:16.368 --> 0:02:19.808 heard the saying love finds you when you least expect it. Well, 0:02:19.848 --> 0:02:22.968 for twenty seven year old Scarlet, a TV presenter living 0:02:22.968 --> 0:02:25.808 in Brisbane, that couldn't have been more true, because on 0:02:25.808 --> 0:02:29.888 one completely unassuming evening, an unlikely wing woman stepped in 0:02:30.008 --> 0:02:31.448 and set everything in motion. 0:02:32.168 --> 0:02:34.968 It was one of those nights where I had got 0:02:35.008 --> 0:02:38.048 my pajamas on ordered takeaway. It was in front of 0:02:38.048 --> 0:02:40.448 the TV. It was like I'm not leaving the house again. 0:02:41.048 --> 0:02:43.608 And then it was actually a message from my mum 0:02:43.688 --> 0:02:47.128 who was in town. She was a flight attendant and 0:02:47.608 --> 0:02:49.407 said come and meet me, and so I saw, okay, mom, 0:02:49.407 --> 0:02:52.208 I will, and so that set me on being out 0:02:52.288 --> 0:02:56.488 that night, and later on into the night, I met 0:02:56.488 --> 0:03:00.567 a friend at a pub after a rugby match who 0:03:00.888 --> 0:03:03.968 introduced me to Jake. As soon as we met, it 0:03:04.048 --> 0:03:08.528 was this crazy connection, emotional, intellectual. We were talking, we 0:03:08.528 --> 0:03:10.648 were kissing, and o member At the end of that night, 0:03:11.288 --> 0:03:15.048 I'd only met him five hours before, but prying myself 0:03:15.088 --> 0:03:17.888 away from him to go to my apartment seemed impossible, 0:03:18.048 --> 0:03:20.528 like I was just so in it. 0:03:20.928 --> 0:03:23.008 And from there it was full steam ahead. 0:03:23.488 --> 0:03:28.768 We became pretty much inseparable, and we spent a lot 0:03:28.808 --> 0:03:31.568 of time together. Not every single day, but before long 0:03:31.928 --> 0:03:34.448 we were seeing each other every single night. He was 0:03:34.568 --> 0:03:39.248 staying at my place, and we were pretty soon talking 0:03:39.288 --> 0:03:43.648 about marriage and kids and all of those things that 0:03:44.288 --> 0:03:47.128 set up a future. A couple of weeks later, it 0:03:47.208 --> 0:03:51.848 became more official. But it was one of those experiences 0:03:51.888 --> 0:03:53.808 in the past you're sort of seeing someone you go, oh, 0:03:53.848 --> 0:03:54.608 is it a situation? 0:03:54.688 --> 0:03:54.888 Ship? 0:03:54.928 --> 0:03:57.168 Are they seeing other people? Are we actually a thing? 0:03:57.768 --> 0:04:00.808 But the connection was so strong from the start it 0:04:00.928 --> 0:04:03.848 was like it would have even been offensive to suggest 0:04:03.888 --> 0:04:06.968 to the other person that we were doing anything outside 0:04:07.008 --> 0:04:12.688 of each other. He was very dark, very handsome, very charismatic, 0:04:13.128 --> 0:04:17.407 physically my type, and he just seemed to have such 0:04:17.408 --> 0:04:20.767 an interesting view on the world. And I feel like 0:04:20.928 --> 0:04:23.808 I was learning so much with him, and we were 0:04:23.848 --> 0:04:28.208 in this absolute love bubble like nothing else seemed to 0:04:28.207 --> 0:04:28.888 be a problem. 0:04:29.008 --> 0:04:29.967 We were just together. 0:04:30.568 --> 0:04:32.767 And he told me he was a doctor, but that 0:04:32.888 --> 0:04:36.767 was the least interesting thing about him. We would spend 0:04:36.888 --> 0:04:43.008 so long just walking by the river, getting food, drinking wine. 0:04:43.688 --> 0:04:45.647 I came home one day and the whole living room 0:04:45.648 --> 0:04:48.408 had been completely transformed. He'd put tea like candles all 0:04:48.408 --> 0:04:51.288 the way along the window sill and along the wall 0:04:51.327 --> 0:04:54.448 and the cabinet, and it was all pillows and plush 0:04:54.488 --> 0:04:57.648 blankets and a bottle of champagne and a big cheese platter. 0:04:58.288 --> 0:05:01.327 And this was just how it was any given day. 0:05:01.768 --> 0:05:04.287 One time he picked me up from work in a 0:05:04.327 --> 0:05:07.728 convertible luxury car that he'd hired just to give me 0:05:07.768 --> 0:05:13.048 a bit of a nice afternoon fancy restaurants. And it 0:05:13.168 --> 0:05:16.008 wasn't like it was all these luxury things. They were 0:05:16.048 --> 0:05:18.967 definitely there, but I had just as good a time, 0:05:19.408 --> 0:05:23.288 like staying in bed all day or sitting around watching TV, 0:05:24.448 --> 0:05:26.968 so it was whatever we were doing, the connection was 0:05:27.408 --> 0:05:33.327 so good. There was definitely chemistry, physical attraction, and intellectual 0:05:33.448 --> 0:05:37.808 was really strong, like he'd talk about big ideas and things. 0:05:37.648 --> 0:05:39.328 That were going on in the world. 0:05:39.967 --> 0:05:42.848 And as a journalist who kind of felt like I 0:05:42.888 --> 0:05:45.408 knew a lot about a lot of things, you know, 0:05:46.048 --> 0:05:47.488 and a lot of people, a lot of people I 0:05:47.488 --> 0:05:51.008 spoke to, I'm like, oh, gosh, ah, the poor uninformed, 0:05:51.207 --> 0:05:52.167 you know that kind of thing. 0:05:52.248 --> 0:05:53.288 It was not like that at all. 0:05:53.368 --> 0:05:56.288 I was so into it, and I was really taken 0:05:56.327 --> 0:05:59.288 with his views of the world and his approach on things. 0:05:59.967 --> 0:06:03.568 And there's a saying that says small minds speak about 0:06:03.607 --> 0:06:07.327 other people, medium sized minds speak about events, and open 0:06:07.488 --> 0:06:10.847 large minds speak about ideas. And I really felt it 0:06:10.888 --> 0:06:13.248 was like that we would were solving the problems of 0:06:13.248 --> 0:06:13.768 the world. 0:06:14.207 --> 0:06:15.407 And it was a really. 0:06:15.928 --> 0:06:19.248 Nourishing experience to be in where I felt like, this 0:06:19.368 --> 0:06:21.808 is good for the soul and the mind and the body. 0:06:22.368 --> 0:06:24.687 The I Love You came a few months later, but 0:06:24.727 --> 0:06:26.968 I feel like we both wanted to say it immediately, 0:06:27.048 --> 0:06:29.088 but it was one of those you know, social rules 0:06:29.087 --> 0:06:31.728 that you just wait a little while to say it. 0:06:32.327 --> 0:06:35.527 But I felt we were completely infatuated with each other. 0:06:36.248 --> 0:06:39.328 Everything was perfect. I would go to work in the day, 0:06:39.648 --> 0:06:41.488 he would go to work. Often he would drop me 0:06:41.528 --> 0:06:43.728 at work, so I wouldn't even have to drive myself. 0:06:43.768 --> 0:06:45.528 He'd dropped me at work, and then he'd go to work, 0:06:45.568 --> 0:06:47.008 and then he picked me up and we'd be back 0:06:47.048 --> 0:06:50.527 in the love bubble and everything was just as good 0:06:50.568 --> 0:06:51.128 as it can be. 0:06:51.207 --> 0:06:55.088 I was totally on cloud nine. Things were moving pretty fast, 0:06:55.327 --> 0:06:57.207 and at the time Jake was in the process of 0:06:57.207 --> 0:07:00.087 moving out of his place, so it was only natural, 0:07:00.207 --> 0:07:02.768 especially with a connection like theirs, that he spent more 0:07:02.847 --> 0:07:05.848 time at Scarlet's, and that, dear listener, is when you 0:07:05.888 --> 0:07:08.287 can observe your person a little more closely. 0:07:08.768 --> 0:07:11.367 I think I might have said thing, oh, well, no problem, 0:07:11.408 --> 0:07:14.208 you can just stay here. So there was never an 0:07:14.208 --> 0:07:16.248 official you can move in with me, and he never 0:07:16.328 --> 0:07:20.568 did move in with me, but it was like an 0:07:20.688 --> 0:07:24.408 unspoken scenario that just started playing out. I got to 0:07:24.408 --> 0:07:27.088 a stage where it was every night, and when that 0:07:27.288 --> 0:07:31.568 was happening, I suppose I may have questioned why he 0:07:31.607 --> 0:07:34.927 didn't have night shift, but he said that he was 0:07:34.968 --> 0:07:38.408 only on day shift. It was something about the hours 0:07:38.408 --> 0:07:41.167 there seemed to be like the explanation made sense, and 0:07:41.208 --> 0:07:43.807 I didn't really think anything of it. He had this 0:07:44.528 --> 0:07:48.687 doctor's kit, which was this old looking briefcase with a 0:07:48.727 --> 0:07:51.248 stethoscope in it. It really looked like some kind of 0:07:51.328 --> 0:07:56.248 vintage relic, you know. I didn't think it looked quite right. 0:07:56.328 --> 0:07:59.328 But then also, I am not a doctor. I don't 0:07:59.368 --> 0:08:01.928 know what it's supposed to look like. And he would 0:08:02.008 --> 0:08:06.687 dress super casually, like in like almost gym gear to 0:08:06.768 --> 0:08:08.648 go to work, which I thought, oh, that seems a 0:08:08.688 --> 0:08:11.727 bit odd. He told me that he got changed at work, 0:08:11.888 --> 0:08:13.768 so he had his uniform work and got changed, and 0:08:13.768 --> 0:08:17.528 I thought, okay, well that makes sense. And it was 0:08:17.568 --> 0:08:19.768 a few months in and I'd never met any of 0:08:19.768 --> 0:08:24.768 his colleagues. Again, they're doctors, they're busy, they're probably working 0:08:24.808 --> 0:08:25.528 and sleeping. 0:08:26.688 --> 0:08:29.928 And then there came an issue with money. 0:08:30.727 --> 0:08:35.688 So we'd have these extravagant experiences together, helicopter tours of 0:08:35.768 --> 0:08:41.248 wineries and fancy weekends away and dinners at the best restaurant, 0:08:41.248 --> 0:08:43.648 and it was all looked after by him. And then 0:08:43.688 --> 0:08:45.608 the next morning he'd say he didn't have any money 0:08:45.608 --> 0:08:49.248 to get coffee, and I was like, well, the least 0:08:49.288 --> 0:08:52.848 I can do is shout you at coffee. That's absolutely fine. 0:08:53.448 --> 0:08:56.727 So it wasn't the actual money itself. It was more 0:08:56.768 --> 0:09:00.528 just unusual behavior. How you could have so much and 0:09:00.608 --> 0:09:03.648 then straightaway have nothing. 0:09:03.688 --> 0:09:04.248 It seemed. 0:09:05.128 --> 0:09:09.408 I was thinking, there's just something that doesn't quite add up. 0:09:10.168 --> 0:09:13.248 I'd met all of his family, really beautiful people. He 0:09:13.368 --> 0:09:15.488 was a doctor in their eyes, the doctor of the family. 0:09:16.328 --> 0:09:19.128 So while there were a couple of things that didn't 0:09:19.128 --> 0:09:22.368 add up, there were also things that did. So at 0:09:22.368 --> 0:09:27.328 that stage, I was, I suppose, just deep down feeling 0:09:27.568 --> 0:09:30.288 like there's a few things we need to figure out 0:09:30.328 --> 0:09:34.008 before we get married and have lots of babies. I 0:09:34.048 --> 0:09:38.568 asked a couple of questions about the money and about 0:09:38.608 --> 0:09:43.728 the uniform to work, and I'd dropped him at the 0:09:43.728 --> 0:09:46.688 hospital a couple of times, and every time I asked 0:09:46.768 --> 0:09:49.528 him he seemed to have an explanation quickly or he 0:09:49.728 --> 0:09:53.528 shut it down. And I didn't want to make things worse, 0:09:53.608 --> 0:09:56.928 because we wanted to be happy and enjoy our day 0:09:57.528 --> 0:09:59.568 and not go into an argument. 0:10:00.048 --> 0:10:04.048 Almost a year into the relationship, tragedy strunk. Scarlet's dad 0:10:04.088 --> 0:10:07.688 passed away suddenly. Through the shock and grief, Jag stayed 0:10:07.688 --> 0:10:09.808 by her side, but it was also a time but 0:10:09.808 --> 0:10:13.008 it began to raise new questions about who Jake really was, 0:10:13.448 --> 0:10:15.648 especially when he was around her entire family. 0:10:16.128 --> 0:10:20.367 All of the family went to my hometown of Wollongong 0:10:21.528 --> 0:10:24.727 to be together, my mom and my sisters. We'd lived 0:10:24.768 --> 0:10:27.568 in different areas of Australia, so we'd all come together, 0:10:28.008 --> 0:10:28.848 including Jake. 0:10:29.168 --> 0:10:31.368 He was with me at the time. 0:10:31.448 --> 0:10:33.968 My sister was pregnant and she was needing to have 0:10:34.008 --> 0:10:37.248 injections just as part of the pregnancy, very very routine, 0:10:38.048 --> 0:10:40.288 and Jake did not want any part of it. He 0:10:40.328 --> 0:10:42.368 didn't want to administer the needle, he didn't want to 0:10:42.368 --> 0:10:43.888 know what was going on, he didn't want. 0:10:43.768 --> 0:10:44.568 Any part of it. 0:10:45.248 --> 0:10:48.727 He almost recoiled at the thought of having to do that. 0:10:49.208 --> 0:10:51.208 It just seemed to be at odds with how you 0:10:51.528 --> 0:10:55.448 think a doctor would react in that situation. But then 0:10:55.448 --> 0:10:58.528 I thought, well, I guess you can still be a 0:10:58.608 --> 0:11:03.528 doctor and not be overly caring. Or also, because he's 0:11:03.568 --> 0:11:06.888 with me and she's my sister, therefore it didn't feel 0:11:06.928 --> 0:11:10.688 like it was the right place that either way, My 0:11:11.248 --> 0:11:13.488 poor sister was back on the job with having to 0:11:13.488 --> 0:11:19.968 do it herself. And then after the funeral, my sister 0:11:20.008 --> 0:11:22.448 and I decided to go and see my dad's GP 0:11:23.368 --> 0:11:26.608 because my dad had seen the GP who had sent 0:11:26.688 --> 0:11:32.008 him home with a life threatening infection which ended up 0:11:32.048 --> 0:11:33.608 taking his life. 0:11:33.888 --> 0:11:35.448 Yeah, so we were. 0:11:36.728 --> 0:11:41.088 Just curious as to why the GP sent him home 0:11:41.608 --> 0:11:44.528 when he should have been rushed straight to hospital at 0:11:44.528 --> 0:11:48.688 that stage and he ended up dying from sepsis with 0:11:48.768 --> 0:11:55.288 an infection that was untreated. So we thought, great, we'll 0:11:55.328 --> 0:11:57.368 bring Jake because wouldn't it be good speaking to the 0:11:57.408 --> 0:12:00.648 GP to have somebody who knows about medical information to 0:12:00.768 --> 0:12:04.288 be there with us. Not only did he not ask 0:12:04.368 --> 0:12:08.848 any questions, there was something the doctor said that we 0:12:08.888 --> 0:12:11.208 didn't quite know what was. My sister turned to Jake 0:12:11.248 --> 0:12:14.248 and said, oh, what does this mean? And he had nothing. 0:12:15.248 --> 0:12:21.128 He couldn't explain it. So he'd gone from being my 0:12:21.248 --> 0:12:24.208 boyfriend to sitting in the front row of my father's 0:12:24.288 --> 0:12:29.528 funeral with a lot of doubt around who he was 0:12:31.008 --> 0:12:31.328 and what. 0:12:31.368 --> 0:12:32.168 The story was. 0:12:33.488 --> 0:12:36.128 Because we were there for my dad's funeral, it was 0:12:36.168 --> 0:12:39.568 sort of down the list of things to talk about. 0:12:40.808 --> 0:12:42.728 As you would know, there's just a. 0:12:42.608 --> 0:12:45.168 Lot of things that had to be done in that 0:12:45.328 --> 0:12:50.608 period while you're in shock, while you're grieving, and so 0:12:51.088 --> 0:12:53.848 it was just little seeds that got planted. 0:12:54.448 --> 0:12:57.288 But these little seeds for Scarlet were big red flags 0:12:57.288 --> 0:13:00.727 for her little sister, who went into full Nancy Drew mode. 0:13:01.528 --> 0:13:05.168 Everybody grieves differently, and for my little sister, she put 0:13:05.168 --> 0:13:08.568 her energy into investigating Jake. 0:13:08.888 --> 0:13:11.608 Whatever it took. She was on the case. 0:13:12.088 --> 0:13:15.488 I had mentioned a few concerns about the money to 0:13:15.608 --> 0:13:17.888 my older sister, which pretty much means it goes through 0:13:17.928 --> 0:13:19.208 the whole family, let's be honest. 0:13:19.288 --> 0:13:20.008 So I think that. 0:13:22.168 --> 0:13:26.768 The whole family had knew that there was not everything 0:13:26.928 --> 0:13:34.968 being perfect and tracking, But that visit was what inspired 0:13:35.008 --> 0:13:39.888 her because it went from him doing something to me 0:13:40.728 --> 0:13:44.408 to him wronging the whole family at one of the 0:13:44.488 --> 0:13:48.408 most devastating times in our life. So it became personal 0:13:48.448 --> 0:13:51.208 for her. I said to her, I remember going, why 0:13:51.208 --> 0:13:51.848 are you doing this? 0:13:51.968 --> 0:13:54.048 Like go and live your life. It's my problem. 0:13:54.368 --> 0:13:56.408 And that's when she said, if he sat in the 0:13:56.408 --> 0:13:58.968 front row of my father's funeral and he sat in 0:13:58.968 --> 0:14:00.848 that GP office with me, is my problem. 0:14:01.928 --> 0:14:05.808 And she took it on. They were calling up going Scarlet, 0:14:05.848 --> 0:14:09.488 I don't know about this guy. Have you got proof? 0:14:10.808 --> 0:14:14.008 And being a journalist, you are used to getting the 0:14:14.048 --> 0:14:16.728 facts and getting verification. But I'd never really thought to 0:14:16.888 --> 0:14:19.568 order a boyfriend quite so strictly, I'm not sort of like, 0:14:20.008 --> 0:14:22.448 I mean, maybe it's a good thing to be, like, Okay, 0:14:22.528 --> 0:14:24.648 now can you give me your resume and your job 0:14:24.688 --> 0:14:27.768 description and your references? But I sort of didn't think 0:14:28.088 --> 0:14:29.928 to do that, so I sort of said, well, no, 0:14:30.208 --> 0:14:33.008 I haven't. I've dropped him at work, I've met his 0:14:33.048 --> 0:14:36.448 whole family. I'd met him through a friend originally, Like 0:14:36.528 --> 0:14:41.608 there was lots of reasons to support him, and all 0:14:41.648 --> 0:14:45.048 my friends and family loved Jake. He was an extremely 0:14:45.168 --> 0:14:50.568 charismatic guy, he really was. Everybody loved him. But my 0:14:50.608 --> 0:14:52.648 little sister, she was not going to let this go, 0:14:53.528 --> 0:14:58.408 and she phoned the university, no record of him having 0:14:58.408 --> 0:15:03.128 a medical degree. She phoned the hospital, no record of 0:15:03.248 --> 0:15:09.128 him being at the hospital. And then the big one, 0:15:10.128 --> 0:15:17.208 no record on APRA. So APRA is the site where 0:15:17.288 --> 0:15:20.168 anyone registered as a health practitioner in Australia needs to 0:15:20.208 --> 0:15:22.608 be registered. And it wasn't like he was there with 0:15:22.648 --> 0:15:24.928 a little bit of a black mark against his name. 0:15:25.368 --> 0:15:33.928 He wasn't there at all. There were so many questions 0:15:33.968 --> 0:15:37.328 rolling around in Scarlett's head. It was overwhelming. She didn't 0:15:37.408 --> 0:15:39.808 know what to do or how to approach this newfound 0:15:39.808 --> 0:15:42.608 information to the man she loved. There was so much 0:15:42.648 --> 0:15:45.448 going on, but one thing was clear. Her family was 0:15:45.488 --> 0:15:46.768 not going to let this go. 0:15:47.168 --> 0:15:52.368 It was harassment by family like it was text, it 0:15:52.488 --> 0:16:01.688 was calls, it was relentless. And during that time I 0:16:01.688 --> 0:16:07.368 had also lost my job. The reason for that is 0:16:07.448 --> 0:16:11.128 I've been freelancing, so I didn't lose my job. With 0:16:11.168 --> 0:16:14.008 everything that was happening, they needed somebody else to fill 0:16:14.008 --> 0:16:17.968 those shifts, and so I'd changed jobs and gone into 0:16:18.008 --> 0:16:21.048 PR during that period. 0:16:21.168 --> 0:16:23.208 So there was a lot on my mind. 0:16:23.248 --> 0:16:25.808 And when you start a new job, you don't really 0:16:25.808 --> 0:16:28.008 want your phone ringing like ten times a day while 0:16:28.048 --> 0:16:31.848 you're at your desk. Not a good look. And one 0:16:31.928 --> 0:16:34.648 day I was at work, Ignore, ignore, Ignore, I just 0:16:34.648 --> 0:16:38.048 started a new job, and she called the office reception. 0:16:38.728 --> 0:16:41.248 She called the reception of where I worked, and they 0:16:41.288 --> 0:16:43.728 came over to me because she was so panicked that 0:16:43.768 --> 0:16:47.168 something had happened to me, because she started fearing for 0:16:47.248 --> 0:16:50.928 my safety. So my little sister was investigating, and of 0:16:50.928 --> 0:16:53.528 course she's relaying all this information to my other sister 0:16:53.568 --> 0:16:55.848 and my mum and So it was like this three 0:16:55.928 --> 0:16:58.688 way onslaught from my family of. 0:16:59.088 --> 0:16:59.848 What are you doing? 0:16:59.928 --> 0:17:01.808 And get out of there? And what's wrong with you? 0:17:01.888 --> 0:17:03.888 And how can you be so stupid? At a time 0:17:03.928 --> 0:17:06.207 when I was grieving the loss of my dad, I 0:17:06.208 --> 0:17:09.128 had lost a job and was trying to make a 0:17:09.167 --> 0:17:13.568 way in an new career and trying to save a 0:17:13.648 --> 0:17:16.648 relationship which I believed was endgame for me. So there 0:17:16.648 --> 0:17:17.488 was a lot going on. 0:17:18.248 --> 0:17:21.447 The mental load was becoming unbearable, and Scarlett knew what 0:17:21.488 --> 0:17:23.808 she had to do. She had to confront Jake. 0:17:25.448 --> 0:17:29.128 I needed to find the right time because I knew 0:17:29.168 --> 0:17:32.408 that it would be a big fight, a big stress. 0:17:32.808 --> 0:17:35.048 I kept pushing it back, pushing it out of my 0:17:35.168 --> 0:17:39.568 mind because it was all I could cope with. So 0:17:40.288 --> 0:17:43.768 the first time I brought it up with him and said, 0:17:44.728 --> 0:17:49.528 these are some concerns I have. There's this, this, and 0:17:49.608 --> 0:17:56.328 this that doesn't add up. And the first response was, oh, okay, 0:17:56.368 --> 0:17:59.528 well I don't think we should be together, and he 0:17:59.608 --> 0:18:05.728 broke up with me. No answer, no explanation, He broke up. 0:18:05.928 --> 0:18:11.488 And when that happened, I sobbed like a baby for 0:18:11.608 --> 0:18:14.808 like twenty four hours in my bed and then came 0:18:14.888 --> 0:18:16.488 down with the worst flu. 0:18:16.328 --> 0:18:17.328 I've ever had. 0:18:17.928 --> 0:18:20.888 I felt like the worst thing had just happened, and 0:18:21.208 --> 0:18:23.488 I begged for. 0:18:23.528 --> 0:18:24.488 Him to take me back. 0:18:26.288 --> 0:18:28.207 I begged him to take me back, and so when 0:18:28.288 --> 0:18:31.408 I did that, I was on the back foot because 0:18:31.488 --> 0:18:33.888 I couldn't really beg to take him back and then 0:18:34.248 --> 0:18:37.927 be demanding answers about who he was. 0:18:38.648 --> 0:18:41.248 So she dropped it. The thought of losing Jake was 0:18:41.368 --> 0:18:43.888 just too much, so they carried on as if nothing 0:18:43.888 --> 0:18:46.447 had happened. But as you can guess, there were a 0:18:46.488 --> 0:18:49.848 few people that weren't too happy about that. My family 0:18:49.968 --> 0:18:54.648 was calling me, texting me, and emailing me hundreds of 0:18:54.688 --> 0:18:57.128 times a day. It was really out of hand, and 0:18:57.168 --> 0:18:58.848 of course it was coming from a place of love 0:18:59.128 --> 0:19:03.207 and a place of concern, because they were getting really 0:19:03.248 --> 0:19:07.968 concerned because there was no evidence he was who he 0:19:08.008 --> 0:19:11.488 said he was. So once the relationship sort of picked 0:19:11.528 --> 0:19:13.968 back up and I was feeling like we were going okay, 0:19:14.128 --> 0:19:19.968 I started to raise these questions again, and he said, Okay, Scarlett, 0:19:20.008 --> 0:19:26.407 I can send you a pay slip. Great, Okay, if 0:19:26.408 --> 0:19:31.088 you've got a recent payslip, I'll take it. Wonderful. Can 0:19:31.128 --> 0:19:34.488 I send it to you tomorrow? Wonderful? So I'm waiting 0:19:34.528 --> 0:19:36.088 with baited breadth at my email. 0:19:36.448 --> 0:19:38.528 I've never been so excited to get an email coming 0:19:38.568 --> 0:19:42.448 in and I opened it up. It didn't look like mine, 0:19:42.608 --> 0:19:46.407 but I thought, oh, okay, that's okay. We had a 0:19:46.448 --> 0:19:48.528 good night, and by this stage, this is what our 0:19:48.568 --> 0:19:52.888 relationship was like, good nights, bad nights, good days, bad days, 0:19:52.968 --> 0:19:56.488 very much walking on eggshells, trying to protect the chemistry 0:19:56.488 --> 0:20:00.568 and the attraction that we had. And I said, okay, 0:20:00.688 --> 0:20:05.728 thank you so much, thank you so much for the payslip. Sorry, yeah, 0:20:05.968 --> 0:20:09.288 I was sorry for asking. You know, it's just my family, 0:20:09.368 --> 0:20:12.088 my sister, my mom, and you know I've been going 0:20:12.128 --> 0:20:13.727 through a lot and there's been a lot of stress 0:20:13.768 --> 0:20:17.048 going on. And the way it worked out, my family 0:20:17.128 --> 0:20:21.128 became the enemy. And I did say, thanks for the 0:20:21.168 --> 0:20:25.848 pay slip. How do you explain the opera registration? And 0:20:25.928 --> 0:20:30.568 that was when the story changed. That was when he 0:20:30.648 --> 0:20:34.368 gave me an answer that absolutely flawed me. He said, 0:20:34.408 --> 0:20:39.167 the reason my name isn't there is because I'm in 0:20:39.248 --> 0:20:44.288 witness protection and it's been wiped so I can't be found. 0:20:44.888 --> 0:20:51.008 Because I'm an informant with a secret criminal investigation. I 0:20:51.048 --> 0:20:54.088 work for a national intelligence agency. I used to be 0:20:54.168 --> 0:20:58.528 in Special Forces, and I've protected the Malaysian Prime Minister's children. 0:20:59.088 --> 0:21:01.928 He seemed very matter of fact, to the point where 0:21:01.928 --> 0:21:03.608 I thought, well, if it was so matter of fact, 0:21:03.808 --> 0:21:08.368 why did it take this long for this to come out? 0:21:08.488 --> 0:21:10.568 Because we'd had such a. 0:21:10.568 --> 0:21:15.568 Close, open relationship where we would spend hours having dn 0:21:15.688 --> 0:21:19.888 ms about our childhoods and what was important to us, 0:21:19.968 --> 0:21:24.288 and there were multiple opportunities for this kind of information 0:21:24.528 --> 0:21:28.048 to come up. And so I just took a deep 0:21:28.088 --> 0:21:34.008 breath and said, right, okay. It was such a fantastical, 0:21:34.128 --> 0:21:40.687 bizarre response that I needed time to devise my cross examination. 0:21:40.808 --> 0:21:43.168 I suppose, like I guess, I'm an interest of journalist's brain, 0:21:43.288 --> 0:21:46.288 going what questions do I ask? 0:21:46.368 --> 0:21:46.848 From here? 0:21:47.888 --> 0:21:52.167 I felt like I could physically feel the cogs of 0:21:52.208 --> 0:21:53.648 my mind turning. 0:21:54.008 --> 0:21:56.927 So janke buy his own admission was a spy, and 0:21:56.968 --> 0:21:59.648 around this time it prompted Scarlet to do a little 0:21:59.688 --> 0:22:00.808 spying of her own. 0:22:01.408 --> 0:22:03.488 In the top of my printer. You know how you 0:22:03.488 --> 0:22:06.888 can lift up the lid to scan things. I was 0:22:06.968 --> 0:22:09.288 looking in there, which is not something I do every day. 0:22:09.288 --> 0:22:12.088 This is why it was a few weeks later I 0:22:12.288 --> 0:22:17.288 found the pay slip It was a cobble together sticky 0:22:17.328 --> 0:22:21.848 tape and liquid paper like arts and craft job. So 0:22:22.008 --> 0:22:25.248 it wasn't the pay slip. It was a doctor document. 0:22:26.088 --> 0:22:28.447 I had approached it very sarcastically, like you call this 0:22:28.608 --> 0:22:31.407 by work, This is pretty amateur, this is pretty dodgy, 0:22:32.168 --> 0:22:34.768 and it was, Oh, what's wrong with you? You know, 0:22:36.008 --> 0:22:39.648 why do you keep going on with this? And he 0:22:39.768 --> 0:22:43.568 also started to step away again of oh, okay, all right, 0:22:43.608 --> 0:22:46.487 well you know, I'm out, and I was scared of that. 0:22:46.568 --> 0:22:48.728 I didn't want to lose him. I was always trying 0:22:48.768 --> 0:22:52.288 to get back to that incredible, great connection that we 0:22:52.368 --> 0:22:54.928 had when we met, which was still there in pockets. 0:22:55.288 --> 0:22:59.168 I was wanting to protect my own integrity and reputation 0:23:00.008 --> 0:23:04.247