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Speaker 1: You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.

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Speaker 2: Mama Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters

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Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on.

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Speaker 1: Hello. I'm Stacy Hicks.

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Speaker 3: I'm the editor of Mamma Mia and I'm also the

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Speaker 3: host of our new parenting podcast, Parenting out Loud. And

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Speaker 3: this summer, we're curating your listening with a healthy dose

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Speaker 3: of culture savvy conversations that parents actually want. This holiday season,

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Speaker 3: we're bringing you unmissable episodes right here into your podcast playlist.

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Speaker 3: It's your summer listening sorted. And if you're looking for

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Speaker 3: more to listen to, every Muma Mia podcast is curating

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Speaker 3: some are listening right across the network, from pop culture

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Speaker 3: to beauty to powerful interviews. There's something for everyone. There's

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Speaker 3: a link in the show notes.

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Speaker 2: Hello, we are here. You asked for this out louders,

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Speaker 2: so here we are for real life IRL. So welcome,

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Speaker 2: Welcome fan. This is Parenting out Loud. This is the

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Speaker 2: podcast for parents who don't always listen to parenting podcasts.

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Speaker 2: We're just doing things a little bit differently, So we

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Speaker 2: read everything in parenting culture and trends so you don't

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Speaker 2: have to. So if you're thinking about it, we're going

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Speaker 2: to talk about it. I'm Monique Bowley. You might remember

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Speaker 2: me from very early days of Mumma mea Out Loud.

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Speaker 2: I went and I had some kids and now I'm

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Speaker 2: back slutting it up on the podcast again.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back one, Thank you. I'm Amelia Laster. I am

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Speaker 1: a magazine editor, which is funny because a young person

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Speaker 1: recently asked me what a magazine was and I just

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Speaker 1: wept silently.

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Speaker 3: And I'm Stacy Hicks. I'm their deputy editor of Muma Mia.

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Speaker 3: I also should mention I do have a child as well,

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Speaker 3: a glorious little four year old.

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Speaker 2: So here I am on today's show.

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Speaker 1: There is a new reason why young people are saying

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Speaker 1: no to being parents.

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Speaker 3: And a famous man said some beautiful words about being

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Speaker 3: a dad and the Internet frothed it, but not all

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Speaker 3: of us did.

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Speaker 2: Plus, how often do you text other parents from mid

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Speaker 2: play date photos to post birthday party photos? Are parents

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Speaker 2: just texting each other way too much?

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Speaker 1: And if you have a third kid, if you want

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Speaker 1: a third kid, if you look at other people with

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Speaker 1: a third kid and think, oh boy, we found the

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Speaker 1: most perfect metaphor for the third child on the internet

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Speaker 1: this week. Once you hear it, you won't be able

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Speaker 1: to unhear it.

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Speaker 2: But first people lost their minds over a very different

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Speaker 2: kind of sports highlight. It wasn't sort of a game

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Speaker 2: winning kick or like a big moment. It was a

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Speaker 2: teenage boy crying. Archie Wilson who's nineteen, fresh out of

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Speaker 2: Melbourne and chasing his dream playing college football in Nebraska,

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Speaker 2: a long way from home, and he was talking at

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Speaker 2: a press conference and he completely broke down when he

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Speaker 2: started talking about missing his mum and his dad and

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Speaker 2: his two little brothers.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I got two little brothers in a moment. Dad. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's the tough part about being hit. I love them

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Speaker 4: a lot and I miss them, but it's a I mean,

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Speaker 4: they know this is what's best for me, and let's go.

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Speaker 4: I can still talk to them plenty over the phone,

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Speaker 4: and they're coming here to see the first few games,

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Speaker 4: so I'm looking forward to that.

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Speaker 2: Thanks.

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Speaker 4: Thanks guys, Going minor.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I could not have loved this anymore.

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Speaker 1: Initial reactions, I absolutely loved it, Like this is the

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Speaker 1: gold standard. This is where you want your kids to

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Speaker 1: get to, where they're this polite and courteous and kind

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Speaker 1: to the journalists afterwards. It's just gorgeous.

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Speaker 2: The emotional range Amelia, like from the softboy energy of

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Speaker 2: like missing his family and then just snapping into complete

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Speaker 2: manners mode.

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Speaker 1: It was so lovely. It also really made me reflect

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Speaker 1: on my own experience. I left Australia for the US

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Speaker 1: when I was eighteen to pursue my football dreams, and

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Speaker 1: when I got over there, that's true, not the college

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Speaker 1: football part. I never thought about how hard that was

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Speaker 1: for my parents, And now I look back on it,

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Speaker 1: and it must be like losing a limb. So I

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Speaker 1: see Archie, and I see the obvious bond that he

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Speaker 1: has with his parents, and I just can't help but

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Speaker 1: pour one out for Archie's parents here and thinking about

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Speaker 1: the sacrifices that they've made for him to pursue his dream.

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Speaker 1: It's really beautiful.

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Speaker 2: But also in the way that they've parented him that

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Speaker 2: he feels like, okay, enough about showing his emotions like this,

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Speaker 2: because that was largely the retrick around this. On the internet,

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Speaker 2: the major themes were Wow, like, his parents have done

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Speaker 2: such a good job, look at this fine young man.

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Speaker 3: Yeah they were the real heroes, weren't they, Like they

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Speaker 3: must be so toughed. Can you imagine them sitting back

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Speaker 3: being like, yes, yes we did.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if they.

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Speaker 2: Might be sitting back going oh, like feeling guilty, tearing

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Speaker 2: at the heart strings.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I just think that there's no way that you

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Speaker 1: can't watch that and know that Archie is loved and

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Speaker 1: that he loves his parents. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The other big thing people were saying on the internet,

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Speaker 2: which was super encouraging, was we have to protect this

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Speaker 2: guy at all costs, like real men cry. This vulnerability

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Speaker 2: is strength. And people responded in droves to this tender

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Speaker 2: teen moment, especially in a culture of football, and seems

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Speaker 2: very sort of marcho. It took about ten seconds for

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Speaker 2: this to go viral. It now has around ten million

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Speaker 2: views and there's all manner of people commenting, like Chris

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Speaker 2: Hemsworth fifty eight million followers, thank you very much. Like

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Speaker 2: even the official Blue account hopped onto this and said

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Speaker 2: you do he great mate?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's become like a national hero now, hasn't he?

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Speaker 1: Like all of the champion Aussies are shouting him out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I even saw a comment from Jenna Lyons. She's

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Speaker 2: sort of the generals fashion icon, real housewife of New

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Speaker 2: York and she was in the comments loving it too.

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Speaker 1: I love Jenna Lyons. She always looks amazing. And it's

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Speaker 1: interesting because she's been sort of pushing us to think

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Speaker 1: about what it is to be a boy or a

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Speaker 1: man for some time now. Back when she was the

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Speaker 1: creative director at j Crue, when that was the fashion

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Speaker 1: label that Michelle Obama wore, it was like the hottest

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Speaker 1: label in America. There was a JCrew catalog that came

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Speaker 1: out and it showed Jenna painting the nails of her son,

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Speaker 1: of her young son, and there was all this predictable

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Speaker 1: and ridiculous outrage. How can she be painting her son's nails?

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Speaker 1: And her answer was just because it looks because he

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Speaker 1: wants to.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, say's law there with her. I guess yeah. Like

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Speaker 2: this clip has transcended sport, fashion, kids TV.

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Speaker 3: It's just it's everywhere, in case you missed it. We

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Speaker 3: all need to calm the fuck down about proteins. Oh good, okay,

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Speaker 3: you have full permission. That's a message that was in

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Speaker 3: a great article in The Cut this week about how

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Speaker 3: the high protein craze has now taken over our toddlers.

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Speaker 3: The cottage cheese has come for our tops. Now, I

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Speaker 3: am very happy that this message has come through. As

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Speaker 3: someone who spent one hundred and fifty dollars once on

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Speaker 3: a baby led weaning guide, we've all done that.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, what have we? It was the format of this guide.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't even a real book. It was it was

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Speaker 1: like a PDF form. But I got ad got it

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Speaker 1: and then I download it.

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Speaker 2: So I did the same thing. You get tired, you

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Speaker 2: get desperate.

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Speaker 1: Sleep, Dempervasion does crazy.

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Speaker 2: Shitah, and these brands come they know you're tired. They

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Speaker 2: come in, They're like, I will solve your problems. You

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Speaker 2: will pay any amount of money.

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Speaker 1: I did it to my phone and then I didn't

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Speaker 1: know how to access the downloads and I never actually

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Speaker 1: used it. So this is good for me.

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Speaker 3: This is the messaging is basically just to care less.

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Speaker 3: So in the article, Rika Schwegenhausen spoke to a recipe

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Speaker 3: developer and a dietitian and they both said that when

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Speaker 3: they post recipes that are marketed as high protein, even

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Speaker 3: for babies, that it goes off. Everyone engages with it,

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Speaker 3: everyone downloads it, wants to cook it. When there's fiber,

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Speaker 3: nothing crickets. No one cares about fiber anymore.

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Speaker 2: Fiber has a massive pr problem, Like how can we

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Speaker 2: help them? Are big lentil and been just sitting around

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Speaker 2: the conference table being like, guys, everyone's about protein or

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Speaker 2: protein things. They're so good, What about us? How are

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Speaker 2: we going to get our message out there?

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Speaker 1: But here's the problem with fiber. I was told by

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Speaker 1: my GP to start putting cilium husk on my porridge

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Speaker 1: in the mornings, and so I bought the cilium husk

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Speaker 1: and it comes to this big packer and it literally

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Speaker 1: says on its scromptious sillium husk, and I'm like, don't

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Speaker 1: if it sell it? Yes, it tastes like sawdust and

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Speaker 1: it makes you poop. Honest, I feel like the universe

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Speaker 1: is telling me this week to just not worry about

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Speaker 1: what I'm feeding my kids, because I did read a

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Speaker 1: quote from Jennifer Ghana this week, and look, anyone who's

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Speaker 1: negotiating co parenting with Ben Affleck already deserves a medal

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Speaker 1: in my book. And she said kids don't care, families

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Speaker 1: don't care, No one cares. Just make it. Just make

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Speaker 1: the food. And I want that on one of those

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Speaker 1: you know, those neon signs that in the two thousands

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Speaker 1: were in like really rich people's homes, and they always

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Speaker 1: like had them in the kitchen. I need one of

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Speaker 1: those neon signs in my flat that says, stop putting,

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Speaker 1: just don't just make us make it. There's a book

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Speaker 1: that multiple friends of mine have all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: been swearing by, and I'm curious whether you've heard about it.

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Speaker 1: It's called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I've heard

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Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, yeah, people love this book, and it's

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Speaker 1: not just anecdotal. There was a New York Times article

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Speaker 1: in December of last year about how this book that

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Speaker 1: published ten years ago has been surging in popularity. It's

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Speaker 1: sold one point two million copies. Its biggest year of

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Speaker 1: sales was last year, So some thing's up. A lot

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Speaker 1: of people think that they are the adult children of

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Speaker 1: emotionally Immature parents. Look, it's bio clinical psychologist. The cover

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Speaker 1: copy says it's about parents who have difficulty regulating their emotions,

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Speaker 1: which immediately made me feel really worried that my children

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Speaker 1: are going to read that book when they grow up,

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Speaker 1: because doesn't everyone have difficulty regulating their emotions. But the

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Speaker 1: reason it's spiked, the publisher says is TikTok. There's a

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Speaker 1: whole wave of content around this idea of family estrangement

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Speaker 1: on TikTok, call it Traumatok. There are hashtags like inner child, healing,

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Speaker 1: childhood wounds, and some signs that you've experienced childhood trauma

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Speaker 1: at the hands of your parents. According to these videos,

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Speaker 1: let me run you through them, You're a people pleaser.

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Speaker 1: You jiggle your legs. People call you you an old soul.

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Speaker 1: You procrastinate, you have a hard time asking for help.

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Speaker 1: This is the human conditioning human. This is and maybe

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Speaker 1: having too much coffee, bit leg jiggling. Yeah, it is

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Speaker 1: a real thing that in the last couple of years,

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Speaker 1: family estrangement has seemed to really rise in prominence and popularity.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so we're seeing more of it in social media,

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Speaker 2: but does the data back it up.

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Speaker 1: Yes. There's a psychologist who's quoted in a New Yorker

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Speaker 1: article on this topic who puts the rate of parental

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Speaker 1: estrangement in the US at about thirty percent, and he

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Speaker 1: says that it's probably much higher than that because that's

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Speaker 1: just people who are answering a survey and being prepared

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Speaker 1: to share that information. And he says that that's much

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Speaker 1: higher than it used to be. And the question is why,

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Speaker 1: And the question is does this have anything to do

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Speaker 1: with our extremely low fertility rates? Let me explain. Michelle Liebowitz,

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Speaker 1: who is a York Times writer, has a theory. She

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Speaker 1: says that millennials are not having children, and the reason

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Speaker 1: why is that they think it seems too hard. They

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Speaker 1: think that parenting is too hard. They have all these

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Speaker 1: ideas about how their own parents screwed them up, and

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Speaker 1: they don't want to make those same mistakes, so they're

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Speaker 1: opting out of it entirely. And I think that has

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Speaker 1: the ring of truth to it. I saw a reddit

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Speaker 1: throughout the other day that said in a generation's time,

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Speaker 1: what are going to be the complaints about our parenting?

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Speaker 1: And some of the answers were gentle parenting that just

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Speaker 1: makes you into a parental doormat, like giving in too much,

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Speaker 1: basically being overprotective, not letting children walk home from school,

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Speaker 1: making them stay at home until they're old enough to

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Speaker 1: vote practically, and not being allowed to go out at night.

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Speaker 1: Or bulldoze of parents. That was another really popular answer,

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Speaker 1: bulldoze of parents who bulldoze every obstacle out of their way.

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Speaker 1: I'm really curious if you think that this idea that

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Speaker 1: the over therapization that is a word I just made up,

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Speaker 1: the over therapization of our culture is in part leading

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Speaker 1: to this reluctance to have kids.

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Speaker 2: Interesting theory. It's not the only thing. I mean, there's

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Speaker 2: cost of living, there's work life balance, there's access to childcare,

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Speaker 2: there's all of these other factors, mainly crushing cost of

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Speaker 2: life living and housing and job in security. But what

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Speaker 2: an interesting theory that takes it beyond that into actually

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Speaker 2: therapy culture. I think therapy cultures has a lot to

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Speaker 2: answer for. It has been great in so many ways.

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Speaker 2: Opening up discussions about mental health is always going to

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Speaker 2: be a good thing, but it's not without its downsides.

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Speaker 2: And I want to talk about I just want to

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Speaker 2: put on the table the idea about friction in relationships

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Speaker 2: for a minute. So I follow this culture analyst, I guess,

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Speaker 2: and he was talking recently about how life is very

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Speaker 2: frictionless for us now that tech companies have made all

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Speaker 2: these apps so that we don't have to experience much

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Speaker 2: discomfort anymore, so that when we do experience it, it

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Speaker 2: feels very jarring to us, and we're not resilient enough

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Speaker 2: to handle it. So there is this stress response I

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Speaker 2: guess where people will just flee in an uncomfortable situation. Now,

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Speaker 2: that is to say, estrangement is obviously important for so many,

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Speaker 2: like there would be abuse and toxic relationships, and that's fine,

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Speaker 2: But what you're talking about now, Amelia, is like this

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Speaker 2: middle ground where people just feel uncomfortable about a relationship

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Speaker 2: and so will estrange themselves from their parents. And I

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Speaker 2: think we're very quick to remove friction now from our

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Speaker 2: lives or not be able to sit with it. So

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Speaker 2: is therapy culture making all of our relationships feel impossible

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Speaker 2: to maintain because I think also.

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Speaker 1: When you because it's holding this to impossible standards.

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Speaker 2: Completely and it's bleeding into friendships. So once upon a

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Speaker 2: time you might have had a friend that was a

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Speaker 2: bit flaky and you'd roll your eyes and you'd be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: come on, get it together. But now you say, no,

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Speaker 2: these are my boundaries and you're toxic and I'm cutting

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Speaker 2: you out of my life. And like in work culture too,

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Speaker 2: I was a manager before I sat behind this microphone,

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Speaker 2: and there's certainly as a manager now you have to

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Speaker 2: have such a responsibility to be emotionally literate, Like there's

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Speaker 2: lots of healing and affirming and trauma proofing that you

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Speaker 2: have to do in the workplace. So is therapy culture.

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Speaker 2: As you said, Amelia, making our relationship it's hard to maintain.

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Speaker 1: And also just making it feel like parenting is an

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Speaker 1: impossible task, like making people feel like, well, I could

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Speaker 1: never have children because I can never be the perfect

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Speaker 1: parent that i'd want to be.

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Speaker 3: But I think that's just the volume of information there

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Speaker 3: is now. Like I know, when I had my daughter

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Speaker 3: and was struggling in the newborn days, I had this

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Speaker 3: conversation with my mum where she was like, well, it's

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Speaker 3: just that you've got too many answers. Now, you've got

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Speaker 3: too many options. She was like, when I did it,

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Speaker 3: I just had to figure it out. And that was

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Speaker 3: kind of just her kind way of being like, can

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Speaker 3: you stop reading about weight windows and just put your

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Speaker 3: baby to sleep when they seem tired, Like you are

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Speaker 3: making this so hard for yourself. And I think I

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Speaker 3: had never even really thought about how I was parented

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Speaker 3: until I became a parent and started getting all these

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Speaker 3: TikTok videos that you speak of, Like I get them

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Speaker 3: come up in my algorithm all the time saying are

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Speaker 3: you a chronic people pleaser who can sense the you know,

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Speaker 3: the atmosphere change when people's moods change in the room,

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Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, I can. But I don't

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Speaker 3: think that's my parent's fault. I think that's just my

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Speaker 3: personality type. Like I think I'm just conscious of wanting

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Speaker 3: everyone to be having a nice time. That's not something

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Speaker 3: that they necessarily did wrong.

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Speaker 2: Stacy, have you had therapy before?

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Speaker 3: I only did after having my daughter, so very short

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Speaker 3: amount of sessions after having.

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Speaker 2: Do you remember like what one of the first questions

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Speaker 2: I asked you was.

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Speaker 3: It was about my parents. It was all about the

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Speaker 3: dynamic of my parents. And almost withholding from me, ah,

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Speaker 3: I've sussed this and we're going to get to why

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Speaker 3: you're struggling with this now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I hear that. Like one of the first questions

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Speaker 2: you'll get asked in therapy if you can afford it

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Speaker 2: to go and have it, is tell me about your childhood. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: tell me about how you were parented. And so I

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Speaker 2: don't think this is new. We are not the first

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Speaker 2: generation to agonize about having kids or to blame parents

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Speaker 2: for any psychological wobble. Like I think our parents were also,

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Speaker 2: they probably didn't have the language or the words around it,

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Speaker 2: but parents have them too.

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Speaker 1: So fertility rates are at an all time low. So

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Speaker 1: millennials are on track to be the generation with the

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Speaker 1: least children recorded history. And one point that's made in

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Speaker 1: this article is that when you have children, you suddenly

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Speaker 1: forgive your parents for all their perceived shortcomings because you're like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is really hard. Yes, that's true, and I'm just

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Speaker 1: struggling to do. I find myself saying to my children

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Speaker 1: a line that I heard throughout my childhood, which is,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing the very best I can, and why don't

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Speaker 1: you appreciate the work I'm doing for you? And all

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Speaker 1: of these lines are coming out of me because now

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Speaker 1: I see that they're in fact true. I'm doing the

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Speaker 1: best I can. Why can't you appreciate all the work

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Speaker 1: I'm doing for you? When you have children, you realize

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Speaker 1: that that's true. But if you don't have children, you

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Speaker 1: don't realize that's true. And I wonder if there's a

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Speaker 1: chicken and egg element here, is that what's contributing to

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Speaker 1: these really high rates of family estrangement too, because people

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Speaker 1: are not having that experience of oh, wait, my parents

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Speaker 1: are just human, just like everyone else.

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Speaker 3: Another reason I think that therapy could be contributing to

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Speaker 3: more people choosing to be child free is that there

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Speaker 3: is so much more language now around our partners and

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Speaker 3: the bad behaviors they might have. So you might be

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Speaker 3: able to now recognize when someone is a narcissist, or

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Speaker 3: when someone is gaslighting you, or when someone's just a

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Speaker 3: bit of a douche, and you might choose not to

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Speaker 3: procreate with them for that reason.

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Speaker 2: I don't think you necessarily need to have had a child, though,

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Speaker 2: to come to that understanding. So I've had seven years

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Speaker 2: of therapy. I've spent fortune on it, or save you

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Speaker 2: the time.

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Speaker 1: And the money and part two therapy.

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Speaker 2: One of the best things that my therapist ever said

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Speaker 2: to me was what if they were just doing the

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Speaker 2: best they could with the tools they had, And maybe

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Speaker 2: that's the antidote to this therapy culture perfectionism. What if

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Speaker 2: everyone is just doing the best they can.

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Speaker 1: Pretty much everyone is doing the best they can, apart

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Speaker 1: from the person who didn't let me in when I

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Speaker 1: was trying to turn this morning. Yeah, they should have

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Speaker 1: done better.

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Speaker 2: I've got one to file under men talking about their feelings.

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Speaker 2: People love it because this week I saw an absolute scorcher.

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Speaker 2: There was this viral clip on Instagram of the actor

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Speaker 2: Bob Odenkirt.

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Speaker 1: I love him.

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Speaker 2: You know who he is?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. He was in Breaking Bad and the

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Speaker 1: greatest TV show of all time? Better cool soul. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: also like a tough guy, like a rich, cool guy,

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Speaker 1: but very cool.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, comedian, writer, actor, And he was talking about being

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Speaker 2: a dad.

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Speaker 5: Who are you jealous of anybody who's still got little

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Speaker 5: kids at home growing up?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, there's no question I knew what I was doing

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Speaker 5: when I had kids growing up. I was being a dad.

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Speaker 5: I mean, that was my job. And I didn't have

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Speaker 5: to ask myself what am I doing here?

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Speaker 4: What am I doing?

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Speaker 5: How can I be a part of this world? How

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Speaker 5: can I be meaningful today? I didn't have to ask

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Speaker 5: that question because an answer is pick up everything between

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Speaker 5: here and.

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Speaker 4: The door.

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Speaker 5: And make sure they get to school and have a

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Speaker 5: laugh with them. You know, life was I understood my purpose.

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Speaker 1: That's the answer.

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Speaker 2: Oh so profound, Amelia. You and I had really different

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Speaker 2: reactions to this. We had quite a robust discussion. Tell

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Speaker 2: me what I'm not saying?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, First of all, I do want to read

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Speaker 1: rate that I love Bob Odenkirk. I mean his voice,

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Speaker 1: He's just got the best voice. That said. I did

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Speaker 1: not love this. It made me feel rotten. Let me

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Speaker 1: paint you a picture. Got home from a very long day,

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Speaker 1: had left my flat early in the morning for work.

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Speaker 1: I got back after having dinner with a friend, and

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Speaker 1: I watched this and I thought, oh, I'm doing everything wrong.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even see my children today, these precious moments

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Speaker 1: when they are little, and I'm not spending enough time

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Speaker 1: with them, and I should just be soaking up every

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Speaker 1: bath time, and I should never go out to dinner

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Speaker 1: with my friends again because this time is so precious

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Speaker 1: and rare, and I'm going to look back and miss

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Speaker 1: these days. And then the spiral of guilt continued, and

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Speaker 1: I couldn't sleep that night. This is a whole genre

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Speaker 1: of guilt content for parents. We're constantly being told how

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Speaker 1: irreplaceable and special these days are, and yet we also know,

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Speaker 1: because we're living them, how hard it is to truly

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Speaker 1: be in the moment with the children. When they are

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Speaker 1: pushing your buttons, when they are refusing to get in

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Speaker 1: the bath, when they're refusing to sleep.

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Speaker 3: And this is a whole trend now though, Amelia of

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Speaker 3: parents pushing back on this because good. Yeah, there is

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00:20:14,829 --> 00:20:18,109
Speaker 3: this song by Trace Adkins called You're going to miss this?

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Speaker 1: Have you heard? I'll sing a line to you the country?

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Speaker 2: Do you want me to sing?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: It?

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00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,149
Speaker 3: Actually you've got skills. Can you add a little bit

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Speaker 3: of auto tune for me as well? But he basically

431
00:20:28,229 --> 00:20:31,389
Speaker 3: goes like, you're gonna mee us this, You're gonna wa

432
00:20:31,749 --> 00:20:33,749
Speaker 3: this bag and it's all about how.

433
00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:38,029
Speaker 1: You are so talented? Wang am i a country so good?

434
00:20:40,069 --> 00:20:41,909
Speaker 3: This song is basically all about how you're gonna want

435
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,829
Speaker 3: those days back, like you're going to miss this thing

436
00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:46,589
Speaker 3: that you're in. But now parents have taken it and

437
00:20:46,669 --> 00:20:50,789
Speaker 3: are using it and overlaying it over their children absolutely.

438
00:20:51,909 --> 00:20:54,789
Speaker 3: So they're using it as they're like forcing their child

439
00:20:54,789 --> 00:20:56,949
Speaker 3: into their car seat and they won't get in, or

440
00:20:56,949 --> 00:20:59,549
Speaker 3: when they're like carrying a bike over one shoulder and

441
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:02,029
Speaker 3: their child over another shoulder back to the car. So

442
00:21:02,309 --> 00:21:04,869
Speaker 3: they're kind of saying, like, that's so nice of you

443
00:21:04,909 --> 00:21:07,269
Speaker 3: to say once you're out of that season of your life,

444
00:21:07,269 --> 00:21:09,149
Speaker 3: but when you're in it, this is what it looks like.

445
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,909
Speaker 1: And I'm not going to miss it. I'm not going

446
00:21:10,989 --> 00:21:12,269
Speaker 1: to miss this exact part.

447
00:21:12,589 --> 00:21:15,349
Speaker 2: Okay, So why did you like it? Well, it's so

448
00:21:15,429 --> 00:21:17,349
Speaker 2: interesting what you said about your reaction to it. It's

449
00:21:17,349 --> 00:21:19,189
Speaker 2: like when you go to a psychiatrist and they held

450
00:21:19,229 --> 00:21:24,589
Speaker 2: up the ink pictures and you say, I see this rash.

451
00:21:25,749 --> 00:21:27,469
Speaker 2: That's not at all what I saw. Yeah, I'll tell

452
00:21:27,469 --> 00:21:30,149
Speaker 2: you what I saw. I actually thought, because I do

453
00:21:30,229 --> 00:21:33,069
Speaker 2: love Bob Odenkirk as well, but I watched this and

454
00:21:33,109 --> 00:21:38,669
Speaker 2: I thought the bar is so low culturally for men

455
00:21:38,829 --> 00:21:41,869
Speaker 2: in the parenting space, like are we so starved of

456
00:21:41,949 --> 00:21:46,069
Speaker 2: good men and good dads that when Bob Odenkirk says

457
00:21:46,109 --> 00:21:49,749
Speaker 2: something that millions of mothers know or say every day,

458
00:21:50,229 --> 00:21:52,469
Speaker 2: that the Internet faints with sort of how profound and

459
00:21:52,509 --> 00:21:55,509
Speaker 2: beautiful it is. And nothing against Bob oder Kirk, nothing

460
00:21:55,509 --> 00:21:58,549
Speaker 2: against great fathers. It's so important we see them. I

461
00:21:58,589 --> 00:22:01,589
Speaker 2: feel like if a mum said this, firstly, it's not

462
00:22:01,629 --> 00:22:03,629
Speaker 2: going to go viral, and it's just going to be

463
00:22:03,669 --> 00:22:07,669
Speaker 2: filed under like the obvious, like scroll past. I just wonder,

464
00:22:08,309 --> 00:22:10,109
Speaker 2: I don't know men with feelings on the Internet, people's

465
00:22:10,349 --> 00:22:12,789
Speaker 2: to really frothy in a way that I think maybe

466
00:22:12,829 --> 00:22:14,469
Speaker 2: we are staved of this kind of content.

467
00:22:14,509 --> 00:22:17,469
Speaker 1: But I think we've got to check ourselves on that reaction,

468
00:22:17,789 --> 00:22:21,709
Speaker 1: because the other night, during these precious moments with my

469
00:22:21,989 --> 00:22:25,669
Speaker 1: very young children, I completely wasted my evening by listening

470
00:22:25,709 --> 00:22:28,989
Speaker 1: to a podcast interview with US Vice President JD. Vance.

471
00:22:29,509 --> 00:22:31,709
Speaker 1: Now why did I do this, I don't know. But

472
00:22:31,989 --> 00:22:35,149
Speaker 1: he was being interviewed by an interviewer who was interested

473
00:22:35,149 --> 00:22:38,069
Speaker 1: in how he's balancing being vice president with being the

474
00:22:38,109 --> 00:22:39,189
Speaker 1: father to three childs. Oh.

475
00:22:39,309 --> 00:22:41,149
Speaker 2: Someone actually asked him that that's.

476
00:22:41,029 --> 00:22:45,069
Speaker 1: Great, okay, but she's a conservative podcast influencer. And I

477
00:22:45,149 --> 00:22:49,909
Speaker 1: found that my instinctive reaction was annoyance. Why because I

478
00:22:49,989 --> 00:22:52,109
Speaker 1: had to unpack it. He was talking about how he

479
00:22:52,229 --> 00:22:55,029
Speaker 1: and his wife, Usher Vance, liked to take the kids

480
00:22:55,069 --> 00:22:58,029
Speaker 1: on his overseas trips in his capacity as vice president,

481
00:22:58,429 --> 00:23:01,029
Speaker 1: and how it's sometimes difficult when they're stepping off the

482
00:23:01,069 --> 00:23:03,869
Speaker 1: presidential plane to get the kids to not have a

483
00:23:03,869 --> 00:23:06,029
Speaker 1: tantrum when the world's cameras are on them, and when

484
00:23:06,029 --> 00:23:09,269
Speaker 1: they're about to meet you know, Emmanuel Macron in France.

485
00:23:09,709 --> 00:23:12,269
Speaker 1: I just saying his name, to be honest, But I

486
00:23:12,389 --> 00:23:14,549
Speaker 1: really had to figure out why I was annoyed First

487
00:23:14,549 --> 00:23:16,349
Speaker 1: of all, I think I was annoyed because I find

488
00:23:16,589 --> 00:23:20,069
Speaker 1: jd Vance himself personally annoying. But then I had to

489
00:23:20,109 --> 00:23:22,989
Speaker 1: stop and think, it's actually kind of great that this person,

490
00:23:23,029 --> 00:23:25,989
Speaker 1: who I may not agree with politically, who was on

491
00:23:26,109 --> 00:23:29,389
Speaker 1: the other side of offense politically, is trying to talk

492
00:23:29,429 --> 00:23:33,989
Speaker 1: about integrating children not just into his professional life but

493
00:23:34,029 --> 00:23:37,549
Speaker 1: into public life, into going on a state trip and saying,

494
00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:40,229
Speaker 1: I'm bringing my children along because these children shouldn't just

495
00:23:40,309 --> 00:23:43,469
Speaker 1: be my partner's responsibility. But I want you to explain

496
00:23:43,509 --> 00:23:45,069
Speaker 1: why I was annoyed why.

497
00:23:45,109 --> 00:23:47,069
Speaker 2: It might just be that you're confusing the political with

498
00:23:47,149 --> 00:23:48,909
Speaker 2: the emotional maybe, or it could be.

499
00:23:48,949 --> 00:23:52,029
Speaker 1: That we automatically think that men who talk about parenting

500
00:23:52,109 --> 00:23:52,789
Speaker 1: are show voting.

501
00:23:53,149 --> 00:23:55,629
Speaker 2: If I was a PR agent, if I was managing

502
00:23:55,749 --> 00:23:58,069
Speaker 2: some celebrities, I would be saying to them, say, I'm

503
00:23:58,229 --> 00:24:00,989
Speaker 2: managing Ryan Reynolds. You know he's got a bit of ick.

504
00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:03,309
Speaker 2: There's a bit of a stink about him. I'd say, Ryan,

505
00:24:03,789 --> 00:24:06,829
Speaker 2: go on a podcast and talk about get emotional about

506
00:24:06,869 --> 00:24:10,549
Speaker 2: being a father, show some vulnerability, because there's nothing Internet

507
00:24:10,589 --> 00:24:12,869
Speaker 2: loves more than that. Right now, there's nothing the culture

508
00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:15,229
Speaker 2: loves more than a dad talking about their feelings.

509
00:24:15,509 --> 00:24:17,989
Speaker 1: Another example is I work with a lot of men

510
00:24:18,109 --> 00:24:20,749
Speaker 1: in my day job, and whenever one of them is like,

511
00:24:20,829 --> 00:24:23,469
Speaker 1: I have to go to my kids' school parade, I

512
00:24:23,549 --> 00:24:26,469
Speaker 1: feel annoyed. What is going on with me? That's great

513
00:24:26,549 --> 00:24:29,309
Speaker 1: that he's taking the time. I think it's because it

514
00:24:29,389 --> 00:24:31,149
Speaker 1: just feels performative in a way.

515
00:24:31,309 --> 00:24:33,069
Speaker 2: You're feeling defensive about it.

516
00:24:33,109 --> 00:24:34,869
Speaker 1: Maybe I do feel the same though.

517
00:24:34,909 --> 00:24:37,589
Speaker 3: Listening to that clip from Bob Odenkirk as well, I

518
00:24:37,629 --> 00:24:39,749
Speaker 3: was like, oh, that's easy. You just picked up the

519
00:24:39,749 --> 00:24:41,389
Speaker 3: things and dropped them off and then you left. You

520
00:24:41,389 --> 00:24:45,189
Speaker 3: didn't with emotion, You didn't think about the permission.

521
00:24:44,789 --> 00:24:48,509
Speaker 1: Sleep, if you book the daycare, school holidays, Bob Odenkirk,

522
00:24:48,709 --> 00:24:50,149
Speaker 1: Did you just pick up the toys? Yeah?

523
00:24:50,149 --> 00:24:50,349
Speaker 4: I did.

524
00:24:50,389 --> 00:24:50,509
Speaker 1: Think.

525
00:24:50,509 --> 00:24:52,269
Speaker 3: Well, I would quite like to be a dad when

526
00:24:52,269 --> 00:24:54,909
Speaker 3: my kid's a little too, which is very unfair because

527
00:24:55,109 --> 00:24:56,229
Speaker 3: I don't know his circumstances.

528
00:24:56,269 --> 00:24:57,709
Speaker 1: He's obviously very involved.

529
00:24:57,829 --> 00:25:00,029
Speaker 2: So I'm okay with the show voting. I think there

530
00:25:00,029 --> 00:25:01,949
Speaker 2: has to be a period where they do show bird

531
00:25:02,069 --> 00:25:05,109
Speaker 2: where it is seen as aspirational and fantastic to do,

532
00:25:05,389 --> 00:25:07,589
Speaker 2: and that you get a lot of points from women

533
00:25:07,669 --> 00:25:11,149
Speaker 2: for doing it, like irol because that's the only way

534
00:25:11,189 --> 00:25:12,069
Speaker 2: the needle is right.

535
00:25:12,389 --> 00:25:14,269
Speaker 1: But we've got to give them the points. You're right.

536
00:25:14,429 --> 00:25:17,949
Speaker 2: It's like when my husband makes a terrible dinner. Oh

537
00:25:18,029 --> 00:25:21,189
Speaker 2: the praise I am doing so full of it. I

538
00:25:21,229 --> 00:25:23,589
Speaker 2: am like, this is the best thing I've ever eaten

539
00:25:23,709 --> 00:25:25,749
Speaker 2: because guess what, I didn't have to cook it. And

540
00:25:25,789 --> 00:25:26,869
Speaker 2: then just like a bit.

541
00:25:26,749 --> 00:25:30,509
Speaker 1: Of Okay, I'm going to the next time someone on slack,

542
00:25:30,549 --> 00:25:32,309
Speaker 1: a man on slack tells me that he can't do

543
00:25:32,389 --> 00:25:34,629
Speaker 1: something because he's going to his kid's school parade, I'm

544
00:25:34,669 --> 00:25:38,029
Speaker 1: going to give the party hat emoji and the high

545
00:25:38,069 --> 00:25:39,909
Speaker 1: five emotions a merely I do think.

546
00:25:39,749 --> 00:25:41,589
Speaker 2: You should, because I also think that.

547
00:25:41,549 --> 00:25:45,389
Speaker 1: Culture aggressive thumbs.

548
00:25:45,469 --> 00:25:47,749
Speaker 2: Culturally, we do need to kind of move the needle

549
00:25:47,789 --> 00:25:50,029
Speaker 2: on this stuff. It's dads that need to start to

550
00:25:50,109 --> 00:25:51,429
Speaker 2: lift point taken.

551
00:25:52,429 --> 00:25:54,829
Speaker 1: So I moved back to Australia last year after many

552
00:25:54,909 --> 00:25:58,189
Speaker 1: years overseas, and I realized a few months in that

553
00:25:58,269 --> 00:26:01,429
Speaker 1: I was committing a big parenting faux pa. Do you

554
00:26:01,429 --> 00:26:02,229
Speaker 1: want to guess what it was?

555
00:26:02,389 --> 00:26:04,829
Speaker 2: Yeah, you flirted with another dad, I fashion him.

556
00:26:04,909 --> 00:26:07,629
Speaker 1: No, just my kid was in kindergarten, so I was

557
00:26:07,669 --> 00:26:09,989
Speaker 1: getting invite to a lot of parties, because in kindergarten,

558
00:26:09,989 --> 00:26:13,909
Speaker 1: I think the sort of conventional wisdom is that, if possible,

559
00:26:13,949 --> 00:26:16,189
Speaker 1: invite the whole class to the party. So there were

560
00:26:16,189 --> 00:26:18,829
Speaker 1: a lot of parties that he was at a public school,

561
00:26:18,829 --> 00:26:20,509
Speaker 1: so it was a huge class. And so you know,

562
00:26:20,869 --> 00:26:26,109
Speaker 1: every weekend, another party. And what happened was that I

563
00:26:26,269 --> 00:26:30,029
Speaker 1: noticed after the parties, parents were writing to the class

564
00:26:30,069 --> 00:26:35,349
Speaker 1: WhatsApp with these effusive notes of gratitude and praise for

565
00:26:35,429 --> 00:26:38,549
Speaker 1: the party. This is with everyone in ho much. It

566
00:26:38,669 --> 00:26:41,069
Speaker 1: was just so great of you to invite little Billy

567
00:26:41,109 --> 00:26:46,269
Speaker 1: to this party. I particularly liked the cakes frosting, or

568
00:26:46,349 --> 00:26:50,749
Speaker 1: I particularly liked the dejected spider man party into training

569
00:26:50,829 --> 00:26:52,549
Speaker 1: you hired. You know, there was just it was like

570
00:26:52,589 --> 00:26:55,069
Speaker 1: these really thoughtful notes, the kind that I would normally

571
00:26:55,069 --> 00:26:57,109
Speaker 1: write to my aunt when I was ten years old

572
00:26:57,189 --> 00:26:59,549
Speaker 1: after she sent me ten dollars in the mail, But

573
00:26:59,629 --> 00:27:02,549
Speaker 1: they were writing them to the class WhatsApp. I asked

574
00:27:02,549 --> 00:27:04,469
Speaker 1: a friend will Actually, I complained to a friend. I

575
00:27:04,469 --> 00:27:06,669
Speaker 1: was like, this is so annoying. After every party, I

576
00:27:06,709 --> 00:27:09,109
Speaker 1: get these notes. And she looked at me and she said, Amelia,

577
00:27:09,149 --> 00:27:11,389
Speaker 1: are you not writing a thank you note for attending

578
00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:13,469
Speaker 1: a party? And I said, no, I'm not. Why am

579
00:27:13,509 --> 00:27:16,429
Speaker 1: I thanking them? She said, in Australia, you have to

580
00:27:16,429 --> 00:27:18,549
Speaker 1: write a thank you note for attending the kids party.

581
00:27:18,829 --> 00:27:21,589
Speaker 1: And then another thing I noticed is that when I

582
00:27:21,749 --> 00:27:24,629
Speaker 1: hosted a party, I have to write a thank you

583
00:27:24,709 --> 00:27:27,509
Speaker 1: note for attending the party to the parents. And it's

584
00:27:27,589 --> 00:27:30,549
Speaker 1: just getting out of control. So when I saw an

585
00:27:30,589 --> 00:27:33,229
Speaker 1: article in New York magazine called Fellow Parents, May I

586
00:27:33,309 --> 00:27:37,429
Speaker 1: please text less? It really made me feel seen. First

587
00:27:37,429 --> 00:27:39,229
Speaker 1: of all, I want to interrupt and say, did you

588
00:27:39,389 --> 00:27:41,949
Speaker 1: know this instinctively about the parties and the thank.

589
00:27:41,749 --> 00:27:44,589
Speaker 2: You I'm hearing you say this, and I'm like, yeah,

590
00:27:44,589 --> 00:27:45,989
Speaker 2: that's just manners, Amelia.

591
00:27:46,389 --> 00:27:48,909
Speaker 1: See, I just was like, I don't want to impinge

592
00:27:48,949 --> 00:27:52,109
Speaker 1: on people's inboxes. I don't want to write unnecessary messages.

593
00:27:52,149 --> 00:27:54,069
Speaker 3: Well, I didn't realize that this was all happening in

594
00:27:54,109 --> 00:27:57,029
Speaker 3: like a group forums, So surely there's some eagle eyed

595
00:27:57,509 --> 00:28:00,629
Speaker 3: person in there making sure that everyone.

596
00:28:00,269 --> 00:28:02,149
Speaker 1: Actually the party. If I had to dride up this

597
00:28:02,229 --> 00:28:06,749
Speaker 1: year party about funny, maybe that's why. So Catherine Gesu Morton,

598
00:28:06,789 --> 00:28:09,709
Speaker 1: who writes a great parenting column for New York which

599
00:28:09,709 --> 00:28:12,789
Speaker 1: I hire we recommend, writes about the experience of dropping

600
00:28:12,829 --> 00:28:16,309
Speaker 1: her kids off for playdates, and how it's assumed that

601
00:28:16,429 --> 00:28:19,429
Speaker 1: you have to show your concern and your diligence as

602
00:28:19,429 --> 00:28:22,549
Speaker 1: a parent by checking in constantly while the kid is

603
00:28:22,589 --> 00:28:25,429
Speaker 1: on the playdate, and also the parent during the hosting

604
00:28:25,469 --> 00:28:27,709
Speaker 1: of the playdate has to be constantly checking in, Oh,

605
00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:30,389
Speaker 1: is it okay if I give little Billy some biscuits?

606
00:28:30,469 --> 00:28:32,189
Speaker 1: Or is it okay if he has a fruit juice?

607
00:28:32,229 --> 00:28:35,269
Speaker 1: This is constant back and forth of communication. She says

608
00:28:35,309 --> 00:28:37,709
Speaker 1: that she used to live in Mexico, which flex I

609
00:28:37,709 --> 00:28:40,229
Speaker 1: would love to live in Mexico, and when she would

610
00:28:40,309 --> 00:28:42,669
Speaker 1: drop off her kid at a playdate, she would say

611
00:28:42,669 --> 00:28:45,269
Speaker 1: to the parent, as she has been trained to do, oh,

612
00:28:45,309 --> 00:28:47,189
Speaker 1: when should I pick my kid up? And the parent

613
00:28:47,229 --> 00:28:49,349
Speaker 1: would look vaguely annoyed and say, I don't know, like

614
00:28:49,469 --> 00:28:53,829
Speaker 1: before bedtime? Go away. Essentially, just leave us alone, trust

615
00:28:53,909 --> 00:28:57,269
Speaker 1: me to do this, And so from her Mexico experience,

616
00:28:57,309 --> 00:29:00,109
Speaker 1: she resolved to become more of a minimalist text She

617
00:29:00,189 --> 00:29:02,709
Speaker 1: says that in fact, every time you text a fellow parent,

618
00:29:03,309 --> 00:29:05,669
Speaker 1: you are asking them to use their time and energy

619
00:29:05,709 --> 00:29:07,789
Speaker 1: on both reading the message, thinking about the message, and

620
00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:09,949
Speaker 1: then responding to the message. And she suggests that we

621
00:29:09,989 --> 00:29:13,629
Speaker 1: all need to take a pact to text less Mom's

622
00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:15,629
Speaker 1: are you going to be joining Catherine in this pledge?

623
00:29:15,669 --> 00:29:19,309
Speaker 2: I hear that. I think it's about agent stage. So

624
00:29:19,429 --> 00:29:22,109
Speaker 2: first of all, I would say, what's wrong with a

625
00:29:22,109 --> 00:29:25,269
Speaker 2: bit of over communication. I think we are saturated with

626
00:29:25,309 --> 00:29:27,789
Speaker 2: over communication from schools and childcares and all that. So

627
00:29:27,829 --> 00:29:30,629
Speaker 2: the standard has been set like in the vacuum that

628
00:29:30,669 --> 00:29:33,709
Speaker 2: we are in, in the culture that we are in,

629
00:29:33,949 --> 00:29:36,829
Speaker 2: is all about over communicating. But I do think it

630
00:29:36,949 --> 00:29:40,789
Speaker 2: definitely creeps up. I also think it's about the agent stage.

631
00:29:40,829 --> 00:29:42,829
Speaker 2: So if you're a new parent, if you've joined a

632
00:29:42,869 --> 00:29:46,509
Speaker 2: new school, it's the first playdate. Then it is about

633
00:29:46,549 --> 00:29:50,949
Speaker 2: building the trust, and it's code for I'm a conscientious parent.

634
00:29:51,029 --> 00:29:53,389
Speaker 2: It's like trust me, And it's this weird thing of

635
00:29:53,429 --> 00:29:55,069
Speaker 2: like the more you check in, the more sort of

636
00:29:55,069 --> 00:29:58,949
Speaker 2: conscientious and caring you become. And so texting has become

637
00:29:59,029 --> 00:30:02,429
Speaker 2: kind of this false way of performing virtue, I guess,

638
00:30:02,429 --> 00:30:04,349
Speaker 2: and I'm guilty of it, Like I text a lot

639
00:30:04,349 --> 00:30:06,229
Speaker 2: because I want to fast track the trust so that

640
00:30:06,309 --> 00:30:08,469
Speaker 2: I can get to the point where I'm the Mexican

641
00:30:08,549 --> 00:30:10,909
Speaker 2: parent saying just drop them a come back when you

642
00:30:10,949 --> 00:30:13,309
Speaker 2: feel like it. But I do think it's a sliding scale.

643
00:30:13,349 --> 00:30:16,149
Speaker 2: It starts with everyone very keen on the texting, and

644
00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:19,029
Speaker 2: then I'm hoping by middle school it'll just die right off.

645
00:30:19,269 --> 00:30:22,149
Speaker 3: See, maybe I'm guilty of being one of these overtexters.

646
00:30:22,189 --> 00:30:24,669
Speaker 3: I'm not at the kindergarten school parties yet, so I

647
00:30:24,669 --> 00:30:27,389
Speaker 3: can see that that would be an absolute punished I

648
00:30:27,469 --> 00:30:30,549
Speaker 3: have to reply to all of those. But my daughter

649
00:30:30,589 --> 00:30:34,389
Speaker 3: being four now, she recently went to a gorgeous friend's

650
00:30:34,389 --> 00:30:36,789
Speaker 3: house to look after my daughter while I worked, and

651
00:30:37,309 --> 00:30:39,669
Speaker 3: she was texting me a lot. She was texting me,

652
00:30:40,069 --> 00:30:42,789
Speaker 3: they're having an ice cream together, they're on the swing together,

653
00:30:42,949 --> 00:30:45,909
Speaker 3: They're doing this And I probably wouldn't have thought to

654
00:30:45,909 --> 00:30:47,669
Speaker 3: do the same for her if it was the other

655
00:30:47,669 --> 00:30:49,549
Speaker 3: way around. But when she did it, I bloody loved

656
00:30:49,549 --> 00:30:52,149
Speaker 3: it because it actually took the guilt for me out

657
00:30:52,149 --> 00:30:54,429
Speaker 3: of the fact that I wasn't there. I was like, Yep, great,

658
00:30:54,429 --> 00:30:56,429
Speaker 3: she's cool. Yep, great, she's still cool.

659
00:30:56,469 --> 00:31:00,429
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's we're all anxious, Amelia, but we're an anxious generation.

660
00:31:00,549 --> 00:31:01,949
Speaker 2: We need the constant checking out.

661
00:31:02,109 --> 00:31:04,109
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's gotten out of control. Like when

662
00:31:04,109 --> 00:31:08,789
Speaker 1: my kids started school here, I had to download four

663
00:31:08,869 --> 00:31:14,549
Speaker 1: apps different ways of communicating with the school and ways

664
00:31:14,589 --> 00:31:17,869
Speaker 1: that they could communicate with me. That's too many apps.

665
00:31:18,069 --> 00:31:21,989
Speaker 1: We know too much, I think, particularly with school, I

666
00:31:22,069 --> 00:31:24,589
Speaker 1: don't really think that it's my business what my kids

667
00:31:24,629 --> 00:31:27,749
Speaker 1: are getting up to at school. I just don't think

668
00:31:27,749 --> 00:31:28,949
Speaker 1: it's my concern.

669
00:31:29,109 --> 00:31:32,629
Speaker 3: I feel the opposite. I froth those weekly updates. When

670
00:31:32,669 --> 00:31:34,549
Speaker 3: my daughter went to a daycare, we never got any,

671
00:31:34,589 --> 00:31:36,469
Speaker 3: and I was just desperate for a crumber. I was like,

672
00:31:36,549 --> 00:31:38,029
Speaker 3: just send me one picture of her doing a little

673
00:31:38,029 --> 00:31:40,549
Speaker 3: finger painting and I'll be so happy that she had

674
00:31:40,549 --> 00:31:43,149
Speaker 3: a good day. And now at her prep school we

675
00:31:43,269 --> 00:31:45,229
Speaker 3: get like this week, we learn about this.

676
00:31:45,509 --> 00:31:48,629
Speaker 1: The letter of the week is this, and I true.

677
00:31:50,589 --> 00:31:51,309
Speaker 2: I love it.

678
00:31:51,469 --> 00:31:54,669
Speaker 1: Do you have your phones on no notifications because you

679
00:31:54,789 --> 00:31:58,549
Speaker 1: cannot deny that every time your phone pings, your quotasol

680
00:31:58,669 --> 00:32:01,749
Speaker 1: levels spike and you feel a little pang of anxiety

681
00:32:01,789 --> 00:32:04,709
Speaker 1: and stress. Don't you want to minimize that? I guess so,

682
00:32:04,909 --> 00:32:05,749
Speaker 1: at least for me, it's.

683
00:32:05,829 --> 00:32:07,909
Speaker 3: Only once a week when that's happening. But I guess

684
00:32:07,909 --> 00:32:10,069
Speaker 3: if you were getting those constantly that would be stressed.

685
00:32:10,109 --> 00:32:12,429
Speaker 3: I just think it's about the class. WhatsApp groups mons,

686
00:32:12,469 --> 00:32:13,749
Speaker 3: have you muted your class?

687
00:32:13,749 --> 00:32:16,469
Speaker 2: What's I am the rogue parent that does not check

688
00:32:16,509 --> 00:32:17,149
Speaker 2: the messages?

689
00:32:17,309 --> 00:32:20,029
Speaker 1: So I, oh, you're that parent and you're the one

690
00:32:20,029 --> 00:32:22,389
Speaker 1: who comes in after like a month and it's like, sorry,

691
00:32:22,389 --> 00:32:23,309
Speaker 1: when's book week?

692
00:32:23,429 --> 00:32:25,989
Speaker 2: Yes, completely, I'm the one that took my kids at

693
00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:28,509
Speaker 2: school in their school uniform on casual day because I

694
00:32:28,549 --> 00:32:31,109
Speaker 2: don't check the apps. It was an easy fix and

695
00:32:31,149 --> 00:32:34,349
Speaker 2: it was a teachable moment. I think, what if you

696
00:32:34,549 --> 00:32:38,309
Speaker 2: don't text Amelia? What if you are the rogue parent?

697
00:32:38,789 --> 00:32:42,429
Speaker 2: Is that kind of code for she's careless and that's

698
00:32:42,469 --> 00:32:44,069
Speaker 2: why no one comes to play their house?

699
00:32:44,229 --> 00:32:47,149
Speaker 1: Yeah? Maybe? I mean. Catherine says that part of this

700
00:32:47,269 --> 00:32:50,029
Speaker 1: pledge to text less, what you have to be aware

701
00:32:50,149 --> 00:32:53,029
Speaker 1: of is that people will be mad at you. People

702
00:32:53,109 --> 00:32:55,629
Speaker 1: will be angry at you. There's going to be some

703
00:32:55,789 --> 00:32:59,989
Speaker 1: social blowback from texting less. That's absolutely true.

704
00:33:00,909 --> 00:33:02,709
Speaker 2: I tried something new the other day when I was

705
00:33:02,709 --> 00:33:05,789
Speaker 2: texting another mum where I gave options. I treated it

706
00:33:05,829 --> 00:33:08,229
Speaker 2: like I was going to text my boss. And if

707
00:33:08,269 --> 00:33:10,109
Speaker 2: you're in a workplace and you know how to manage up,

708
00:33:10,229 --> 00:33:12,269
Speaker 2: you sort of like offer a problem and then offer

709
00:33:12,309 --> 00:33:14,709
Speaker 2: the solution and then give the recommendation in the one thing.

710
00:33:14,749 --> 00:33:18,069
Speaker 2: So I said, Hi, Sally, we'd love to have Ari

711
00:33:18,309 --> 00:33:21,629
Speaker 2: over for a playdate two till four. You can a

712
00:33:22,069 --> 00:33:23,949
Speaker 2: kiss and drop and we'll see you in a few hours.

713
00:33:24,269 --> 00:33:27,709
Speaker 2: B get regular text updates and photos on all their activities,

714
00:33:27,789 --> 00:33:29,469
Speaker 2: or see stay and have a cup of tea and

715
00:33:29,509 --> 00:33:32,509
Speaker 2: hang out to now what this? And then short and

716
00:33:32,549 --> 00:33:35,589
Speaker 2: then I said, I'm the parent that always chooses a

717
00:33:35,909 --> 00:33:39,109
Speaker 2: loll but whatever you feel most comfortable with. So it

718
00:33:39,189 --> 00:33:42,469
Speaker 2: stops the back and forth. It sets the intention. It's

719
00:33:42,509 --> 00:33:45,309
Speaker 2: like if you choose what you want, choose your own adventure,

720
00:33:45,709 --> 00:33:48,669
Speaker 2: and then everyone's happy. And what parent, and merely what

721
00:33:48,789 --> 00:33:51,269
Speaker 2: parent is going to say, yeah, I want text updates

722
00:33:51,309 --> 00:33:51,749
Speaker 2: every hour?

723
00:33:51,829 --> 00:33:54,269
Speaker 1: Then not they're going to go all that. And you

724
00:33:54,309 --> 00:33:55,989
Speaker 1: know what would have taken it to the next level?

725
00:33:56,269 --> 00:34:00,189
Speaker 1: Did you do it like a pole in what's that button?

726
00:34:00,709 --> 00:34:02,229
Speaker 1: That would have been next level?

727
00:34:02,389 --> 00:34:04,509
Speaker 2: I just went ABC because I also am aware that,

728
00:34:04,589 --> 00:34:07,709
Speaker 2: like the mental load with texting back and forth is crippling.

729
00:34:07,749 --> 00:34:10,029
Speaker 1: And so what she picked she picked a kiss and drop,

730
00:34:10,229 --> 00:34:11,309
Speaker 1: Yeah I love it, who wouldn't.

731
00:34:11,389 --> 00:34:13,549
Speaker 3: But do you know why she did pick a and

732
00:34:13,549 --> 00:34:16,149
Speaker 3: why I would pick a in that circumstance when really

733
00:34:16,229 --> 00:34:18,469
Speaker 3: I love getting all the updates. Is that you set

734
00:34:18,549 --> 00:34:21,149
Speaker 3: up that you're that person. That's the genius of it

735
00:34:21,189 --> 00:34:23,069
Speaker 3: is that you said, I'm a mom who does a

736
00:34:23,589 --> 00:34:26,549
Speaker 3: loll like I'm chill, So I'm expecting you to be

737
00:34:26,669 --> 00:34:27,909
Speaker 3: chill and not asking.

738
00:34:28,829 --> 00:34:32,389
Speaker 2: We're sort of like sending some parameters of breadcrumb. But look,

739
00:34:32,429 --> 00:34:34,309
Speaker 2: she could have chosen B or C and I would

740
00:34:34,309 --> 00:34:35,029
Speaker 2: have been happy with that.

741
00:34:35,549 --> 00:34:38,389
Speaker 1: Genuinely okay with Bee, which was provide constant updates.

742
00:34:38,429 --> 00:34:40,669
Speaker 2: Well, that's fine. If a parent wants that from me

743
00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:42,949
Speaker 2: and needs that to feel safe and build the trust

744
00:34:43,149 --> 00:34:45,709
Speaker 2: with me with her child, then that's absolutely fine. It

745
00:34:45,829 --> 00:34:47,069
Speaker 2: just puts the burden back on her.

746
00:34:48,589 --> 00:34:51,189
Speaker 3: So we published a story on the site about how

747
00:34:51,229 --> 00:34:54,029
Speaker 3: having kids is basically like ordering food at a restaurant,

748
00:34:54,109 --> 00:34:56,789
Speaker 3: and it's so brilliant that I need everyone to hear it.

749
00:34:57,309 --> 00:35:01,189
Speaker 3: So the article by Francesca Hornack was titled why a

750
00:35:01,269 --> 00:35:04,989
Speaker 3: third kid is like ordering dessert, and she basically runs

751
00:35:04,989 --> 00:35:08,029
Speaker 3: through his metaphorical restaurant of childbearing. So I'll give you

752
00:35:08,069 --> 00:35:11,189
Speaker 3: some of them, so we'd start a She's like, you

753
00:35:11,269 --> 00:35:14,469
Speaker 3: know the drill. Everyone gets there. We're all really excited.

754
00:35:14,949 --> 00:35:18,149
Speaker 3: You're drinking and everyone starts ordering the first round of entrees,

755
00:35:18,189 --> 00:35:20,869
Speaker 3: which is the first round of babies, and she's like,

756
00:35:20,949 --> 00:35:23,389
Speaker 3: everyone's really excited when they come because you're ravenous, Like

757
00:35:23,389 --> 00:35:26,389
Speaker 3: you're all so excited by this, and you secretly start comparing,

758
00:35:26,429 --> 00:35:29,309
Speaker 3: like who got the best starter. Then everyone's having a

759
00:35:29,309 --> 00:35:29,749
Speaker 3: great time.

760
00:35:29,789 --> 00:35:31,789
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it's a vibe. The first entrees is a vibe.

761
00:35:31,829 --> 00:35:34,669
Speaker 2: You're in the restaurant, you're feeling it, like, here it comes,

762
00:35:34,749 --> 00:35:35,429
Speaker 2: we are ready.

763
00:35:35,469 --> 00:35:37,549
Speaker 3: You're really excited for you ever got the barada because

764
00:35:37,549 --> 00:35:40,949
Speaker 3: that's obviously the superior entrey, Like, very exciting stuff.

765
00:35:41,349 --> 00:35:44,069
Speaker 1: Main's is your second kid, that makes sense following this

766
00:35:44,149 --> 00:35:46,629
Speaker 1: pork chop, Yeah, yeah, pork chop.

767
00:35:46,909 --> 00:35:49,829
Speaker 3: You know, everyone's less excited in your food because they've

768
00:35:49,829 --> 00:35:51,349
Speaker 3: got their own food to worry about.

769
00:35:51,589 --> 00:35:53,829
Speaker 2: But great, you're not so hungry anymore.

770
00:35:53,909 --> 00:35:55,949
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you're all settled in, you know the score,

771
00:35:56,149 --> 00:35:59,909
Speaker 3: so it's a little bit easier. You're enjoying yourselves. The

772
00:35:59,949 --> 00:36:02,309
Speaker 3: best one she has is when they come around and say,

773
00:36:02,349 --> 00:36:04,269
Speaker 3: would you like the dessert menu? And I'm going to

774
00:36:04,309 --> 00:36:06,309
Speaker 3: read you what she wrote here because it's so brilliant.

775
00:36:07,029 --> 00:36:10,269
Speaker 3: She says nearly everyone at the table says no thanks immediately,

776
00:36:10,469 --> 00:36:12,389
Speaker 3: without pausing or even looking at each other.

777
00:36:12,749 --> 00:36:14,549
Speaker 1: But you're a little surprised.

778
00:36:14,229 --> 00:36:17,709
Speaker 3: Pudding would be delicious, and you don't feel quite finished

779
00:36:17,829 --> 00:36:20,549
Speaker 3: or balanced. It's all been a bit savory. This is

780
00:36:20,549 --> 00:36:22,549
Speaker 3: when you try for a third after having two kids

781
00:36:22,589 --> 00:36:25,389
Speaker 3: of the same sex. The thing is, you aren't sure

782
00:36:25,509 --> 00:36:28,069
Speaker 3: you should actually be having a hole pudding. You're not

783
00:36:28,109 --> 00:36:30,709
Speaker 3: sure you can fit a whole pudding, but you also

784
00:36:30,789 --> 00:36:33,709
Speaker 3: know deep down that you aren't ready to leave the restaurant.

785
00:36:33,949 --> 00:36:36,749
Speaker 3: This is not throwing out the newborn sleepsuits, and you

786
00:36:36,789 --> 00:36:39,229
Speaker 3: can delay going out into the cold, dark night by

787
00:36:39,349 --> 00:36:40,829
Speaker 3: ordering another course.

788
00:36:41,149 --> 00:36:41,909
Speaker 1: It's perpose.

789
00:36:41,989 --> 00:36:42,469
Speaker 2: I love this.

790
00:36:43,069 --> 00:36:47,149
Speaker 3: It's yeah, so so many amazing analogies in there. Will

791
00:36:47,149 --> 00:36:48,909
Speaker 3: put the whole story in the show notes for you

792
00:36:48,989 --> 00:36:51,749
Speaker 3: so you can read the others, but for me selfishly

793
00:36:51,789 --> 00:36:55,029
Speaker 3: with my situation, my favorite was when she says what

794
00:36:55,269 --> 00:36:57,829
Speaker 3: ordering the salad to come with the mains is like,

795
00:36:58,149 --> 00:37:00,469
Speaker 3: and she said, that's like having an only child and

796
00:37:00,629 --> 00:37:03,789
Speaker 3: might seem lighter, but the goat's cheese is very demanding,

797
00:37:04,149 --> 00:37:05,709
Speaker 3: so brilliant.

798
00:37:05,869 --> 00:37:08,149
Speaker 2: The trouble with the dessert is what if you don't

799
00:37:08,149 --> 00:37:09,789
Speaker 2: get to choose it. What if it's just like it

800
00:37:09,829 --> 00:37:11,829
Speaker 2: comes out and it might be a lemon merangue pie,

801
00:37:11,869 --> 00:37:13,869
Speaker 2: and then you're like, shit, no, I want this.

802
00:37:14,429 --> 00:37:17,549
Speaker 3: I'd love a lemon merangue pie, but I'm ordering.

803
00:37:18,109 --> 00:37:20,749
Speaker 2: Could we also apply this metaphor to other areas of

804
00:37:20,749 --> 00:37:21,709
Speaker 2: our life.

805
00:37:21,589 --> 00:37:23,709
Speaker 1: Like what other items.

806
00:37:23,509 --> 00:37:26,749
Speaker 2: Like if it was a kitchen appliance. So my firstborn

807
00:37:26,869 --> 00:37:31,189
Speaker 2: is probably my thermomix because it's like extremely expensive. We

808
00:37:31,309 --> 00:37:34,189
Speaker 2: poured everything into it and then we just don't stop

809
00:37:34,269 --> 00:37:35,749
Speaker 2: yapping about how amazing it.

810
00:37:35,669 --> 00:37:37,069
Speaker 1: Is, Like shut up.

811
00:37:37,349 --> 00:37:39,469
Speaker 2: And then my second child's more like an anchor toaster.

812
00:37:39,589 --> 00:37:42,189
Speaker 2: It's just like gets the job done. What would a

813
00:37:42,189 --> 00:37:42,909
Speaker 2: third child be?

814
00:37:43,229 --> 00:37:45,989
Speaker 3: I feel like a third child would be like an

815
00:37:46,029 --> 00:37:49,069
Speaker 3: air fryer that you get gifted by someone else. So

816
00:37:49,109 --> 00:37:51,469
Speaker 3: it kind of was a surprise that got thrown into

817
00:37:51,469 --> 00:37:54,349
Speaker 3: the mix and you don't quite know what to do

818
00:37:54,389 --> 00:37:55,789
Speaker 3: with it, but you can throw everything out of it

819
00:37:55,789 --> 00:37:56,869
Speaker 3: and it survives like.

820
00:37:56,829 --> 00:37:59,629
Speaker 1: It doesn't trying to persuade everyone else that they needed

821
00:37:59,629 --> 00:38:01,949
Speaker 1: air yes, yeah, and then you're like.

822
00:38:01,909 --> 00:38:03,709
Speaker 2: How did I leave my life without this air fight?

823
00:38:03,829 --> 00:38:05,589
Speaker 1: Exactly? All right.

824
00:38:05,629 --> 00:38:07,029
Speaker 2: To wrap up today's show, we're going to share the

825
00:38:07,069 --> 00:38:09,229
Speaker 2: things that we're loving sick at the moment. Things we

826
00:38:09,309 --> 00:38:11,109
Speaker 2: might text to our ends or put in the mum's

827
00:38:11,149 --> 00:38:14,509
Speaker 2: group chat, just helpful, helpful stuff. I should say dad's

828
00:38:14,509 --> 00:38:17,509
Speaker 2: group chat as well. Dads probably have group chats, all right.

829
00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:23,309
Speaker 1: I don't think they've taken the pledge.

830
00:38:23,829 --> 00:38:25,909
Speaker 2: I've gone back to basics with this one. So this

831
00:38:25,989 --> 00:38:30,269
Speaker 2: is a recipe that is a lunchbox snack that's fast, cheap,

832
00:38:30,589 --> 00:38:32,149
Speaker 2: and you can keep it in the freezer in a

833
00:38:32,189 --> 00:38:37,149
Speaker 2: giant bag. Four ingredients. Wheatbix balls. Guys, whatever happened to

834
00:38:37,189 --> 00:38:39,629
Speaker 2: wheatbix balls. We're all about the ki too and the

835
00:38:39,669 --> 00:38:42,709
Speaker 2: protein and the chia seed and the prunes. No, I'm

836
00:38:42,749 --> 00:38:46,469
Speaker 2: telling you four ingredients. You take eight wheat bis and

837
00:38:46,509 --> 00:38:49,269
Speaker 2: then crush them up and chuck them in a bowl.

838
00:38:49,389 --> 00:38:52,149
Speaker 2: You can also use the Wheatbix rubble that ends up

839
00:38:52,149 --> 00:38:54,429
Speaker 2: at the bottom of the packet that no one ever uses.

840
00:38:54,629 --> 00:38:57,149
Speaker 2: Throw that into You're going to take a quarter of

841
00:38:57,149 --> 00:39:00,309
Speaker 2: a cup of cocoa and then one cup of desiccated

842
00:39:00,349 --> 00:39:03,549
Speaker 2: coconut and just a can of condensed milk.

843
00:39:04,069 --> 00:39:04,789
Speaker 1: That's it.

844
00:39:04,949 --> 00:39:08,549
Speaker 2: Stir it together, roll it into balls, roll it in

845
00:39:08,629 --> 00:39:12,469
Speaker 2: coconut store it in a bag. In the freezer. Wait,

846
00:39:12,629 --> 00:39:15,149
Speaker 2: bas bolts bows.

847
00:39:16,269 --> 00:39:19,269
Speaker 1: Look, I love that we're giving depression. You're apparenting with

848
00:39:19,389 --> 00:39:21,029
Speaker 1: directs this week. So I'm going to jump in because

849
00:39:21,029 --> 00:39:27,069
Speaker 1: I've got one, Tess, you're rubbing mine is a recommendation

850
00:39:27,109 --> 00:39:29,629
Speaker 1: which came by my mother. My son was sick. He

851
00:39:29,709 --> 00:39:31,549
Speaker 1: was over at her place. He saw a hot water

852
00:39:31,589 --> 00:39:34,629
Speaker 1: bottle and his mind was blowing in a way that

853
00:39:34,749 --> 00:39:37,069
Speaker 1: I didn't think could happen to him outside of watching

854
00:39:37,069 --> 00:39:39,349
Speaker 1: the Minecraft movie, Like he just had this sort of

855
00:39:39,389 --> 00:39:44,549
Speaker 1: like incredibly touching childhood wonderment at the hot water bottle.

856
00:39:45,029 --> 00:39:47,829
Speaker 1: And so now my children think I'm like some kind

857
00:39:47,829 --> 00:39:50,829
Speaker 1: of literal magician because every night I give them this

858
00:39:50,909 --> 00:39:53,069
Speaker 1: weird contraption and they take it to bed and it

859
00:39:53,149 --> 00:39:55,589
Speaker 1: soothes them and it calms them and it eases their

860
00:39:55,589 --> 00:39:57,909
Speaker 1: growing pains. And I need to get one myself.

861
00:39:57,949 --> 00:39:58,869
Speaker 2: They're so good.

862
00:39:58,949 --> 00:40:00,909
Speaker 1: Now you may be asking where do you get one?

863
00:40:00,909 --> 00:40:03,029
Speaker 1: That's what I asked, because I truly hadn't thought about

864
00:40:03,069 --> 00:40:05,829
Speaker 1: them in decades. It turns out they're everywhere, Okay, the

865
00:40:05,869 --> 00:40:10,029
Speaker 1: square house, They're everywhere, and they're not expensive. And one tip,

866
00:40:10,189 --> 00:40:11,989
Speaker 1: because my son had to tell me this, Now I'm

867
00:40:12,029 --> 00:40:14,869
Speaker 1: aware that people listening will think that I'm extremely silly

868
00:40:14,909 --> 00:40:16,589
Speaker 1: for not knowing this. You're not meant to put.

869
00:40:16,469 --> 00:40:18,509
Speaker 2: Boiling water in, No, they can burst.

870
00:40:19,429 --> 00:40:21,229
Speaker 1: My son told me that you just have to like

871
00:40:21,469 --> 00:40:24,829
Speaker 1: get hot water, not boiling water. But I think it's great.

872
00:40:25,069 --> 00:40:27,189
Speaker 2: Oh that's so good. I think it's the sound they make,

873
00:40:27,389 --> 00:40:31,189
Speaker 2: like the slushy sloshy is so delightful. I want, I

874
00:40:31,229 --> 00:40:33,349
Speaker 2: want to do you put them in a little baggy

875
00:40:33,509 --> 00:40:36,709
Speaker 2: or is it just raw plastic rubber rubber?

876
00:40:36,909 --> 00:40:39,789
Speaker 1: Yeh skin, I could get one of those, you know

877
00:40:39,829 --> 00:40:44,229
Speaker 1: how church fates always have those knitted water keep.

878
00:40:44,069 --> 00:40:46,709
Speaker 2: It raw dogging And also because the smell of the

879
00:40:46,789 --> 00:40:50,669
Speaker 2: rubber is so good too. Oh man, what have you got, Stacey?

880
00:40:51,109 --> 00:40:54,309
Speaker 3: So my reco this week does not give depression error,

881
00:40:54,429 --> 00:40:57,469
Speaker 3: so I've gone a very different direction this week. Mine

882
00:40:57,589 --> 00:40:59,469
Speaker 3: is to just grab one of your friends and go

883
00:40:59,509 --> 00:41:02,909
Speaker 3: and have a little dance around your handbag, yes, which

884
00:41:02,949 --> 00:41:05,709
Speaker 3: I had not actually done in so long but always

885
00:41:05,829 --> 00:41:09,229
Speaker 3: used to love doing. So it's bloody cold. My legs

886
00:41:09,229 --> 00:41:11,549
Speaker 3: have not seen the light of day in months. Like

887
00:41:11,789 --> 00:41:14,189
Speaker 3: if they were a Duluxe paint swatch, it would be

888
00:41:14,229 --> 00:41:17,589
Speaker 3: called like dry flaky snowstorm or something like. But I

889
00:41:17,629 --> 00:41:20,949
Speaker 3: cracked out a can of fake tan, fake tanned myself,

890
00:41:21,189 --> 00:41:24,309
Speaker 3: put some sparkles on. I thought of ten different reasons

891
00:41:24,309 --> 00:41:26,429
Speaker 3: I could get It's all starting to sound like a lot.

892
00:41:26,469 --> 00:41:28,109
Speaker 3: I thought, you just meant in your living room, you mean?

893
00:41:28,229 --> 00:41:28,749
Speaker 1: Yeah.

894
00:41:28,989 --> 00:41:32,029
Speaker 3: I went out in the city, which for me when

895
00:41:32,029 --> 00:41:34,229
Speaker 3: I'm in the western suburbs, it was even a long.

896
00:41:34,149 --> 00:41:35,549
Speaker 1: Way to get good.

897
00:41:35,789 --> 00:41:37,909
Speaker 3: It was actually so good. The one I went to

898
00:41:38,309 --> 00:41:40,509
Speaker 3: was called House of Zim. But they're just these women

899
00:41:40,629 --> 00:41:42,709
Speaker 3: only dance clubs.

900
00:41:42,429 --> 00:41:44,469
Speaker 2: Like this, disco club, baby.

901
00:41:44,269 --> 00:41:46,989
Speaker 3: Yeah, disco club like Lisa and Sarah are friends of

902
00:41:46,989 --> 00:41:49,549
Speaker 3: the podcast. They have disco club like women go and

903
00:41:49,589 --> 00:41:51,589
Speaker 3: have the best time. And then the one I went

904
00:41:51,629 --> 00:41:53,029
Speaker 3: to was over at ten pm.

905
00:41:53,429 --> 00:41:57,669
Speaker 2: Shut seeing these, Amelia, Have you seen them everywhere? You

906
00:41:57,669 --> 00:41:58,469
Speaker 2: put sneakers on?

907
00:41:58,749 --> 00:42:01,549
Speaker 1: Oh good, yeah, you wear flat shoes. What is the

908
00:42:01,629 --> 00:42:04,029
Speaker 1: music that they play at these? Is it like nineties hits?

909
00:42:04,749 --> 00:42:06,949
Speaker 1: You calling it ninety hits means you need to be

910
00:42:06,949 --> 00:42:11,509
Speaker 1: coming with me to one of these? Is hit like

911
00:42:11,549 --> 00:42:14,549
Speaker 1: the Spice Girl's Baby, right? They were nineties? Yeah, I

912
00:42:14,549 --> 00:42:18,269
Speaker 1: don't know. Boys two Men on the Shore.

913
00:42:17,949 --> 00:42:19,869
Speaker 3: But yes, it's all of that music like you can

914
00:42:19,909 --> 00:42:21,429
Speaker 3: belt out a Selene banger at the.

915
00:42:21,389 --> 00:42:25,829
Speaker 2: Top bangers and you go hard. The women go so hard. Yeah,

916
00:42:25,869 --> 00:42:26,829
Speaker 2: I saw the next day.

917
00:42:27,189 --> 00:42:28,989
Speaker 3: I was a bit sore in the hips. I'm not

918
00:42:29,029 --> 00:42:32,069
Speaker 3: gonna lie my hips were sore. But it was so good.

919
00:42:32,109 --> 00:42:35,469
Speaker 3: I wore flat shoes. I was so comfy. Great time.

920
00:42:36,029 --> 00:42:38,549
Speaker 3: You know, you're seeing like belt out Selene like it's

921
00:42:38,549 --> 00:42:38,909
Speaker 3: the best.

922
00:42:38,949 --> 00:42:41,789
Speaker 1: I had another question, Oh, no men, no mess women,

923
00:42:42,109 --> 00:42:46,189
Speaker 1: no men, No men are present and people drinking. Yeah,

924
00:42:46,189 --> 00:42:47,589
Speaker 1: so you don't have it's not one of those like

925
00:42:47,749 --> 00:42:49,989
Speaker 1: sober coffee dance part No, no, no.

926
00:42:50,069 --> 00:42:52,749
Speaker 3: There were many margaritas consumed. But I think just in

927
00:42:52,829 --> 00:42:54,749
Speaker 3: a group of women, like everyone was there for the

928
00:42:54,749 --> 00:42:57,909
Speaker 3: same reason. Everyone had gotten a baby or you know,

929
00:42:58,029 --> 00:43:00,429
Speaker 3: found their way to be out. Everyone just chucked their

930
00:43:00,429 --> 00:43:02,389
Speaker 3: bags in a corner like it was great.

931
00:43:02,549 --> 00:43:05,789
Speaker 2: It's so good when you're this age because you you

932
00:43:05,829 --> 00:43:08,149
Speaker 2: maximize your time. Like when you were younger and you

933
00:43:08,189 --> 00:43:10,949
Speaker 2: were going out clubbing, the night would stretch on and

934
00:43:10,989 --> 00:43:13,189
Speaker 2: on and on. Yep, who even knew what you were

935
00:43:13,229 --> 00:43:16,469
Speaker 2: doing next? But this we are so efficient. The women

936
00:43:16,509 --> 00:43:18,549
Speaker 2: at this age are so efficient. It's like get in,

937
00:43:18,949 --> 00:43:21,549
Speaker 2: get your dance done, go hard, go home and get

938
00:43:21,549 --> 00:43:22,469
Speaker 2: into bed by ten thirty.

939
00:43:22,549 --> 00:43:23,509
Speaker 1: Yeah it was the best.

940
00:43:23,709 --> 00:43:28,509
Speaker 3: Woke up, parented my child like nothing of Okay, ah.

941
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:30,589
Speaker 2: That's all we have time for on Parenting out Loud today.

942
00:43:30,589 --> 00:43:34,189
Speaker 2: But hey, before you go, a warning not to youtubet.

943
00:43:34,389 --> 00:43:37,429
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if you know this, but this show

944
00:43:37,589 --> 00:43:40,869
Speaker 2: is a ticking time bomb. No pressure, so listen. If

945
00:43:40,869 --> 00:43:44,149
Speaker 2: you quite liked this show and you would listen again,

946
00:43:44,749 --> 00:43:46,829
Speaker 2: we need to ask for your help. We need to

947
00:43:46,829 --> 00:43:48,789
Speaker 2: ask a favor. I know it's more on the mental load,

948
00:43:48,949 --> 00:43:51,269
Speaker 2: but the best way to help us is to do

949
00:43:51,389 --> 00:43:54,989
Speaker 2: one thing. It's to search for Parenting out Loud in

950
00:43:55,029 --> 00:43:57,909
Speaker 2: your podcast app. Find the show. It's got a purple

951
00:43:57,989 --> 00:44:00,469
Speaker 2: logo and just hit follow, so it's like a little

952
00:44:00,469 --> 00:44:03,229
Speaker 2: plus sign in Spotify or Apple or wherever you listen. Now,

953
00:44:03,269 --> 00:44:06,029
Speaker 2: this is free, it's free to do that. But what

954
00:44:06,069 --> 00:44:08,429
Speaker 2: it means is that when we get cut off the teat,

955
00:44:08,749 --> 00:44:11,589
Speaker 2: when the milk stops lowing out of the nipple of.

956
00:44:12,149 --> 00:44:16,189
Speaker 1: The baby, lad weaning people aout having to pure carrots ourselves. Yeah,

957
00:44:16,269 --> 00:44:17,549
Speaker 1: knew it had come in Handy.

958
00:44:17,469 --> 00:44:20,589
Speaker 2: Will be okay, we won't starve, So come on over

959
00:44:20,669 --> 00:44:22,749
Speaker 2: to Parenting Out now, we would love to have you

960
00:44:22,829 --> 00:44:23,509
Speaker 2: there and.

961
00:44:23,629 --> 00:44:24,629
Speaker 1: That's so important.

962
00:44:24,669 --> 00:44:27,949
Speaker 2: Please do Yeah yeah, I'll leave you with that big ass.

963
00:44:27,949 --> 00:44:32,029
Speaker 2: Thanks to our team group ep Ruth Divine produces Leoporgius

964
00:44:32,109 --> 00:44:35,989
Speaker 2: and Sashatanic and research from Tessakotovich. Have a great week.

965
00:44:36,029 --> 00:44:37,709
Speaker 2: We'll talk to you next Saturday morning.

966
00:44:37,789 --> 00:44:38,789
Speaker 1: See you then Bye.