WEBVTT - Game Over

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to a Mom with Me podcast, Muma Me

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<v Speaker 1>your acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters.

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<v Speaker 1>This podcast is recorded on Relationships can be a lot

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<v Speaker 1>like games. You win some, you lose some, and just

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<v Speaker 1>when you think you know the rules, they change. There

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<v Speaker 1>are highs, lows, and the occasional plot twist you don't

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<v Speaker 1>see coming.

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<v Speaker 2>I finish the appointment and check my phone and I

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<v Speaker 2>have a whole string of texts from him, basically saying,

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<v Speaker 2>I can't believe you do this to me. This is

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<v Speaker 2>the last straw. We're done. It was such a tiny

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<v Speaker 2>little tiff that we'd had, and we've been together for

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<v Speaker 2>nearly two years, and I was like, surely he's not

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<v Speaker 2>breaking up with me.

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<v Speaker 1>But the thing about games is when they're over, you

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<v Speaker 1>usually get a clean slate, a chance to reset and

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<v Speaker 1>start again. But sometimes just when you think it's over,

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<v Speaker 1>that's when the real games begin.

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<v Speaker 2>I have an email from the Healthcare Complaints Commission and

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<v Speaker 2>my stomach drops to think that someone has put in

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<v Speaker 2>a complaint about me. It was really frightening. I just

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<v Speaker 2>had no clue why on earth they would decide two

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<v Speaker 2>years after to have her go at my career.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex

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<v Speaker 1>Come with me as we dive into a collection of

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<v Speaker 1>unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the

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<v Speaker 1>hearts of the very people who lived them. Remember being nineteen,

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<v Speaker 1>meeting someone, forming a friendship that develops into a crush

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<v Speaker 1>and then effortlessly into something more. Ah, those were the

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<v Speaker 1>days when everything felt simpler, lighter, and full of possibility.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's exactly how it began for Jade and Harry.

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<v Speaker 2>We met at church. We were part of a giant

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<v Speaker 2>friend group. I was really good friends with his sister,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I just met him in the group and

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<v Speaker 2>we kind of clicked and it went from there. We

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<v Speaker 2>naturally kind of just gravitated towards each other within those

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<v Speaker 2>groups on our little nights out. We were good at

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<v Speaker 2>catching up with other people, but we still just kind

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<v Speaker 2>of hung with each other. It was nice to see

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<v Speaker 2>that my friends within that group they all liked him

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<v Speaker 2>to We could do the same things together, so it

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't like we had separate hobbies or separate passions and

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<v Speaker 2>things like that. We had joint groups. So that was

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<v Speaker 2>really fun. There was a lot of people around and

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<v Speaker 2>he had eyes to me, and I think that was

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<v Speaker 2>really awesome. It was such a nice feeling to be

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<v Speaker 2>like this guy who I think is so cool. And

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<v Speaker 2>he lived on campus at UNI, so I thought he

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<v Speaker 2>was really cool and had his stuff together. He likes me,

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<v Speaker 2>and he was pretty direct about it. He said, I

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<v Speaker 2>want to take you on a date, I want to

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<v Speaker 2>do this, all this kind of stuff, and so all

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<v Speaker 2>of that attention and just directness was really nice. At

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<v Speaker 2>the time, we both were committed churchgoers, and so I

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<v Speaker 2>guess that was a nice commonality that built a bit

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<v Speaker 2>of a foundation in our relationship. Pretty early on, I thought, oh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>he's going to be my boyfriend, and things were serious.

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<v Speaker 1>And he pretty much nailed the dating stuff too.

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<v Speaker 2>He would do kind of the cheesy romantic stuff, which

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<v Speaker 2>at nineteen I thought was the best thing ever. You'd

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<v Speaker 2>get a love note, or you'd get a printed out

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<v Speaker 2>photo or his ten things I love about you things

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<v Speaker 2>like that. So all the cheesy stuff that nineteen year

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<v Speaker 2>old me wanted and thought was the dream in a

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<v Speaker 2>relationship he did. We did a lot of beach dates,

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<v Speaker 2>so we would go on like little hikes and have

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<v Speaker 2>like a picnic. I remember doing a sunrise picnic over

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<v Speaker 2>the beach and bringing all the snacks and card games

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<v Speaker 2>and things like that, which was really nice. I went

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<v Speaker 2>to India on a mission trip. I was over there

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<v Speaker 2>for like three weeks, and when I came back, it

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<v Speaker 2>was so nice. I had really missed him and I

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<v Speaker 2>had been saying how much I had been craving a

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<v Speaker 2>pizza the entire time I was in India, and so

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<v Speaker 2>he had brought pizza and then we went down to

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<v Speaker 2>the beach and ate it on the beach because I

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<v Speaker 2>hadn't been for a swim in weeks because I was

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<v Speaker 2>in India, and it was just kind of everything that

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<v Speaker 2>I'd said that I wanted. He had it all there

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<v Speaker 2>ready for me, and because I hadn't seen him in

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<v Speaker 2>a few weeks, I was really missing him. So that

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<v Speaker 2>was like a really precious time. I would go out

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<v Speaker 2>of my way, because we lived about forty five minutes

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<v Speaker 2>from each other. I would make the time. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>I might have finished UNI and I might have a

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<v Speaker 2>really long day, but I was like so excited I

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to spend my time with him. It was perfect.

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<v Speaker 2>He told me I was beautiful. He told me all

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<v Speaker 2>the things I wanted to hear, just.

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<v Speaker 1>When you thought this seemingly perfect relationship couldn't get any better.

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<v Speaker 2>We spent a lot of really nice time with each

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<v Speaker 2>other's family, which was really precious. I was really close

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<v Speaker 2>with his sister. He had a really really big family.

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<v Speaker 2>He was actually a triplet and he had twin brothers

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<v Speaker 2>as well, plus two older sisters. So hanging out with

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<v Speaker 2>his family, we'd do often beach trips together was really

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<v Speaker 2>really precious, and that was really nice. Memories. My family

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<v Speaker 2>right up front were like, yeah, he's great because he

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<v Speaker 2>showed a really really good face to my family. The

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<v Speaker 2>fact that his family loved me was so reassuring. The

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<v Speaker 2>fact that he introduced me to his family really early.

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<v Speaker 2>He had like these twin brothers that were really little.

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<v Speaker 2>They were like little babies, and he was so good

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<v Speaker 2>with them, and I went, oh, he's perfect. About two

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<v Speaker 2>months into the relationship, I remember going on a date night,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm a perfectionist. I need everything to go to plan,

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<v Speaker 2>and so I had thought that I felt that I

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<v Speaker 2>loved him, and I knew that I was going to

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<v Speaker 2>say it at some point, and I had this big

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<v Speaker 2>plan in my head that Okay, on this really nice

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<v Speaker 2>date night, that we're going on, we're going to say it,

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<v Speaker 2>and then for some reason we got into a bit

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<v Speaker 2>of a tiff that night and it wasn't anything major,

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<v Speaker 2>but we were just a little bit annoyed at each

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<v Speaker 2>other and it didn't go perfectly to plan, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was so disappointed because in my head, that was when

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<v Speaker 2>we were going to say we loved each other. And

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<v Speaker 2>I ended up crying to him, and then he told

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<v Speaker 2>me he loved me. I thought I was dating to

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<v Speaker 2>marry right from the get go, so with my first boyfriend,

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<v Speaker 2>I thought, okay, maybe, but then that was definitely not it.

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<v Speaker 2>And then when I met Harry, I was like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>this is serious, Like this is my person, this is it.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm especially coming from a church world, a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>people get married really really young, and I didn't want that.

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<v Speaker 2>But that's kind of the understanding that I had of it,

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<v Speaker 2>because everyone else around me was in serious relationships and

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<v Speaker 2>was getting ready to like lock it down.

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<v Speaker 1>But like any relationship, they also had their little TIFFs.

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<v Speaker 2>It was such silly things. It wasn't anything of importance

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<v Speaker 2>that we would fight over. We wouldn't fight over life

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<v Speaker 2>decisions or values or things like that. It was just

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<v Speaker 2>disagreements where he would get frustrated with me or I

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<v Speaker 2>would get frustrated with him, and we couldn't work through

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<v Speaker 2>it because we were immature and young. We had come

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<v Speaker 2>from different churches and met at a common church, and

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<v Speaker 2>we definitely had a few different views, and so we

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<v Speaker 2>had a few fights about it. Nothing crazy, because I

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<v Speaker 2>thought that I was pretty open, so if he told

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<v Speaker 2>me something new, I was happy to believe it or

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<v Speaker 2>go along with it or question it. But sometimes, because

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<v Speaker 2>I can be a little bit stubborn, we did have

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<v Speaker 2>a few fights over it. Because he would never ever

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<v Speaker 2>change his mind. It was something that I really strongly

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<v Speaker 2>believed it would kind of turn into a fight because

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<v Speaker 2>he wouldn't change his mind. Ever, there was.

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<v Speaker 1>One thing that did eat away at Jade.

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<v Speaker 2>He didn't have a job. So when we first met,

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<v Speaker 2>we're nineteen and we're both in UNI. But by twenty

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<v Speaker 2>I had graduated UNI and started my full time career

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<v Speaker 2>and he was kind of still figuring things out, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was trying to be really gracious and go, that's okay.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm really fortunate to have known what I wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>do from a really young age. So not everyone is

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<v Speaker 2>in that same boat, so I was trying to give

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<v Speaker 2>him some grace in going figure out what you want

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<v Speaker 2>to do, restart, all that kind of stuff. He didn't

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<v Speaker 2>drive a car, and some of the behaviors that came

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<v Speaker 2>up were he was pretty self centered, and I am

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<v Speaker 2>quite a giving person, so I thought, it's totally fine.

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<v Speaker 2>This is what you do in a relationship. You give

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<v Speaker 2>and you sacrifice, but it wasn't necessarily two way. I

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<v Speaker 2>really liked that he was protective. I liked that he

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<v Speaker 2>cared about me so deeply and he was vocal about it,

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<v Speaker 2>and he was vocal about it to me and to

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<v Speaker 2>other people. And I really appreciated that. I'm an oldest child,

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<v Speaker 2>so I think you always take on the protector role yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>You're the care for other people, and having someone be

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<v Speaker 2>the care for me and the protector for me was

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<v Speaker 2>really nice because took the pressure off. It felt like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I was really loved and looked after and cared for.

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<v Speaker 1>About a year into their relationship, Jade was still living

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<v Speaker 1>at home when she received some pretty big news.

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<v Speaker 2>I found out that my parents were going to have

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<v Speaker 2>to move up to the Gold Coast for work, and

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<v Speaker 2>so I was stuck with this decision going do I

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<v Speaker 2>move with them or do I move out of home?

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<v Speaker 2>Because I've just got this full time job, which is

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<v Speaker 2>really exciting, and so I made a decision that I

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<v Speaker 2>was going to move out of home when they left.

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<v Speaker 2>So they were moving in June or July of that year,

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<v Speaker 2>and I found out in January. So over the next

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<v Speaker 2>six months, my decision was to find a house. Really

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<v Speaker 2>cracked down into my full time job and see how

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<v Speaker 2>we go with that. With Harry, he was living at

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<v Speaker 2>home at the time, still figuring out his job. And

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<v Speaker 2>I remember one day I came home from work and

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<v Speaker 2>my mom pulled me aside and she said, I need

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<v Speaker 2>to talk to you. And I said to her, what's

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<v Speaker 2>going on? And she said, look, Harry called me. He's

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<v Speaker 2>had a fight with his dad. He's been kicked out

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<v Speaker 2>of home, and he called me to come and stay

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<v Speaker 2>at our house. So I had heard none of it.

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<v Speaker 2>I was at work the whole day and it was

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<v Speaker 2>only as I walked in the door that my mom

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<v Speaker 2>told me. So I had no clue that he had

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<v Speaker 2>had a fight with his dad. I had no clue

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<v Speaker 2>that he was kicked out of home, but he felt

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<v Speaker 2>comfortable enough to call my mom and ask for a

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<v Speaker 2>place to stay. And because of my parents' personalities, they

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<v Speaker 2>really saw this as a good thing. They want my

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<v Speaker 2>partner to feel comfortable with them, They want him to

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<v Speaker 2>be able to come to them with issues and concerns,

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<v Speaker 2>and so they thought this is great. Actually, it's a

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<v Speaker 2>good thing that he cares enough to come to us.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just a little bit of a shock. I

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<v Speaker 2>thought that if he had enough time to call my

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<v Speaker 2>mom and ask if he can stay with us, maybe

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<v Speaker 2>he would have had time to flick a message to

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<v Speaker 2>me to say that he was going to be staying

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<v Speaker 2>with me for a little bit, because he's in a

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<v Speaker 2>rock and a hard place at the time. Because I

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<v Speaker 2>loved him, I thought it was perfectly fine, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was glad that he felt comfortable with us, but still

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<v Speaker 2>would have been nice to heads up. And so he

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<v Speaker 2>came and he moved in with us, without really any

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<v Speaker 2>clarity around how long this would be, what the rules

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<v Speaker 2>of it were. My family are very religious, so it's

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<v Speaker 2>not like we were staying together. And I had always

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<v Speaker 2>said that I wouldn't move in with him until we

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<v Speaker 2>were engaged or married, so that wasn't really on the cards.

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<v Speaker 2>So there was a lot of ambiguity around what was

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<v Speaker 2>going on. But he started to live with.

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<v Speaker 1>Us and things were going really well.

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<v Speaker 2>I liked that we don't have to drive forty five

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<v Speaker 2>minutes to catch up with each other. We can just

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<v Speaker 2>hang out, you know, we can be in the TV

0:10:43.848 --> 0:10:46.168
<v Speaker 2>room at the same time and things like that. Because

0:10:46.208 --> 0:10:48.328
<v Speaker 2>he was a gamer and I absolutely am not a

0:10:48.368 --> 0:10:50.968
<v Speaker 2>gamer in the slightest. He would play his little games

0:10:50.968 --> 0:10:53.248
<v Speaker 2>sometimes and so that was a bit of space too.

0:10:53.328 --> 0:10:55.208
<v Speaker 2>I would go to the gym. We had different hobbies

0:10:55.248 --> 0:10:58.448
<v Speaker 2>things like that. But yet it actually didn't come with

0:10:58.488 --> 0:11:00.848
<v Speaker 2>the complications that you would expect from moving in with someone.

0:11:01.008 --> 0:11:03.968
<v Speaker 2>I guess because it was that step of distance. My

0:11:04.048 --> 0:11:06.608
<v Speaker 2>parents were still around, we're still He's more just rooming

0:11:06.648 --> 0:11:09.328
<v Speaker 2>with us rather than living together. It was great coming

0:11:09.368 --> 0:11:11.487
<v Speaker 2>home from work and just having him there so that

0:11:11.488 --> 0:11:13.848
<v Speaker 2>then we could hang out rather than organizing a date night.

0:11:13.848 --> 0:11:15.808
<v Speaker 2>And when I can see you, it's really good. And

0:11:15.928 --> 0:11:18.448
<v Speaker 2>just the fact that we could do those couply things

0:11:18.488 --> 0:11:21.768
<v Speaker 2>that I had like fantasized about, like come make dinner

0:11:21.768 --> 0:11:23.568
<v Speaker 2>with me and things like that, Like it was really

0:11:23.688 --> 0:11:27.328
<v Speaker 2>nice playboard games, watch the same TV shows together. We

0:11:27.408 --> 0:11:28.848
<v Speaker 2>had to pull at our house, go for late night

0:11:28.848 --> 0:11:32.128
<v Speaker 2>swims together. It was really really lovely. I went, perfect,

0:11:32.368 --> 0:11:34.048
<v Speaker 2>this is it, this is what it's meant to be.

0:11:34.568 --> 0:11:37.048
<v Speaker 2>This is how you do a serious relationship. You don't

0:11:37.088 --> 0:11:40.208
<v Speaker 2>do fancy dates. You just watch movies together and do

0:11:40.328 --> 0:11:43.408
<v Speaker 2>life together. We definitely thought the marriages where we were headed.

0:11:43.888 --> 0:11:46.448
<v Speaker 2>I can't remember if we had a timeline. I feel

0:11:46.448 --> 0:11:49.648
<v Speaker 2>like we'd spoken about potentially dating for three years before

0:11:49.688 --> 0:11:51.968
<v Speaker 2>we got engaged, because we saw so many people who

0:11:52.408 --> 0:11:54.728
<v Speaker 2>in the church got engaged within like a year of

0:11:54.808 --> 0:11:56.768
<v Speaker 2>dating each other, and we both agreed that we didn't

0:11:56.768 --> 0:11:58.968
<v Speaker 2>want that, but we both agreed that that's where we

0:11:58.968 --> 0:12:01.048
<v Speaker 2>were headed. We wanted to get married to each other,

0:12:01.208 --> 0:12:03.488
<v Speaker 2>and we wanted to do a lot of travel together

0:12:03.528 --> 0:12:06.728
<v Speaker 2>once we got married. So we were working towards that,

0:12:06.888 --> 0:12:09.368
<v Speaker 2>but we were still maybe like a year out. I

0:12:09.368 --> 0:12:12.528
<v Speaker 2>could work one hundred percent picture myself marrying him, and

0:12:12.768 --> 0:12:17.608
<v Speaker 2>while that picture was kind of interrupted with a few

0:12:17.688 --> 0:12:21.488
<v Speaker 2>concerns that I ignored and I definitely pushed down, I

0:12:21.488 --> 0:12:25.088
<v Speaker 2>could still picture it, and if I ignored all the

0:12:25.128 --> 0:12:28.488
<v Speaker 2>other concerns, it was exactly what I wanted. We still

0:12:28.528 --> 0:12:31.048
<v Speaker 2>fought pretty much the same amount as we did before.

0:12:31.448 --> 0:12:33.528
<v Speaker 2>It was all over silly things. He still was a

0:12:33.528 --> 0:12:36.688
<v Speaker 2>bit self centered, he still wasn't working a few of

0:12:36.728 --> 0:12:39.727
<v Speaker 2>those things, but I thought I loved him for.

0:12:39.688 --> 0:12:42.288
<v Speaker 1>The most part. It was domestic bliss. How he had

0:12:42.288 --> 0:12:44.848
<v Speaker 1>lived with Jade and her family for almost six months

0:12:45.048 --> 0:12:48.008
<v Speaker 1>when Jade's parents moved into state, so there were some

0:12:48.008 --> 0:12:49.528
<v Speaker 1>pretty big decisions to be made.

0:12:50.128 --> 0:12:53.208
<v Speaker 2>I was moving out, and the conversation came up of

0:12:53.288 --> 0:12:55.208
<v Speaker 2>what on earth are you going to do? At this point,

0:12:55.248 --> 0:12:57.568
<v Speaker 2>He's still not really talking with his family very much,

0:12:57.928 --> 0:12:59.568
<v Speaker 2>and my family's going to go in a minute, so

0:12:59.608 --> 0:13:02.288
<v Speaker 2>he can't live with them, And so he decided that

0:13:02.368 --> 0:13:05.248
<v Speaker 2>he was going to move with his grandparents in a

0:13:05.288 --> 0:13:07.688
<v Speaker 2>really small country town about six hours out of Sydney,

0:13:08.088 --> 0:13:10.408
<v Speaker 2>and so that's what happened. I moved up home, stayed

0:13:10.448 --> 0:13:12.728
<v Speaker 2>in Sydney full time working, my parents moved up to

0:13:12.728 --> 0:13:15.008
<v Speaker 2>the Gold Coast, and he moved six hours away was

0:13:15.048 --> 0:13:18.608
<v Speaker 2>more country town. That meant that in my first year

0:13:18.648 --> 0:13:20.648
<v Speaker 2>of full time work, living out of home for the

0:13:20.648 --> 0:13:23.128
<v Speaker 2>first time at age twenty one, and with my parents

0:13:23.168 --> 0:13:25.968
<v Speaker 2>moving away, I was also in a long distance relationship

0:13:26.008 --> 0:13:29.088
<v Speaker 2>for the first time, which was really tricky. He did

0:13:29.088 --> 0:13:31.488
<v Speaker 2>come and visit a few times. But even the times

0:13:31.528 --> 0:13:35.528
<v Speaker 2>when he would visit, it wasn't really lovely as I expected.

0:13:35.848 --> 0:13:39.288
<v Speaker 2>We thought it was complicated. I was really trying to

0:13:39.328 --> 0:13:42.008
<v Speaker 2>put the screws on to say, Hey, what's going on?

0:13:42.048 --> 0:13:43.607
<v Speaker 2>Are you getting a job? What are you doing? All

0:13:43.608 --> 0:13:45.727
<v Speaker 2>this kind of stuff, And we weren't the best at

0:13:45.728 --> 0:13:48.888
<v Speaker 2>communicating long distance. We'd have face times, we'd text, but

0:13:49.368 --> 0:13:51.728
<v Speaker 2>we would even fight over face times and things like that,

0:13:52.088 --> 0:13:54.128
<v Speaker 2>and as we were creeping up to almost the two

0:13:54.168 --> 0:13:58.448
<v Speaker 2>years of being together, it was really tough. So I'm

0:13:58.488 --> 0:14:01.208
<v Speaker 2>a FaceTime kind of person. So we'd have some face times,

0:14:01.688 --> 0:14:06.048
<v Speaker 2>often for a couple of hours, but conversation wasn't flowing.

0:14:06.528 --> 0:14:09.408
<v Speaker 2>And then we'd talk about some serious things, so I'd ask, Hey,

0:14:09.488 --> 0:14:12.208
<v Speaker 2>how we going with job applications, and then he'd get

0:14:12.208 --> 0:14:14.888
<v Speaker 2>annoyed at me, and then I would get upset, and

0:14:14.928 --> 0:14:17.368
<v Speaker 2>then he'd get annoyed that I was upset, and then

0:14:17.408 --> 0:14:21.888
<v Speaker 2>it just perpetuated into these awful little arguments. And the

0:14:21.928 --> 0:14:24.568
<v Speaker 2>only reason that we're on FaceTime is because we're living

0:14:24.568 --> 0:14:27.928
<v Speaker 2>apart and we supposedly love each other, and life is hard,

0:14:28.408 --> 0:14:31.608
<v Speaker 2>so when you're having a FaceTime that's supposed to reassure

0:14:31.648 --> 0:14:33.448
<v Speaker 2>you and make you feel better, and it turns into

0:14:33.448 --> 0:14:37.808
<v Speaker 2>this argument. It was just really awful. I had a

0:14:37.888 --> 0:14:40.128
<v Speaker 2>little bit of a higher expectation of him because he

0:14:40.208 --> 0:14:43.808
<v Speaker 2>had made the decision to move away and he didn't

0:14:43.808 --> 0:14:45.808
<v Speaker 2>have a job, so I expected him to drive and

0:14:45.888 --> 0:14:49.568
<v Speaker 2>visit me when he could, and when things were really

0:14:49.608 --> 0:14:53.288
<v Speaker 2>really rough, I really asked him, please come. We need

0:14:53.328 --> 0:14:55.368
<v Speaker 2>to catch up in person. We need to see each other.

0:14:55.928 --> 0:14:58.888
<v Speaker 2>You're not doing anything out at your grandparents' house, so

0:14:59.888 --> 0:15:01.608
<v Speaker 2>why don't you just come and be at my house

0:15:01.648 --> 0:15:04.808
<v Speaker 2>instead so we can spend some time together. And he

0:15:04.888 --> 0:15:07.008
<v Speaker 2>was pretty annoyed about that, so he did it in

0:15:07.048 --> 0:15:10.128
<v Speaker 2>the end, but begrudgingly, which was really tough. And I

0:15:10.248 --> 0:15:12.768
<v Speaker 2>just remember some of those nights when we would have arguments,

0:15:13.208 --> 0:15:17.768
<v Speaker 2>just crying, like because I just I wanted my person

0:15:18.088 --> 0:15:19.808
<v Speaker 2>and I thought that he was my person, but he

0:15:19.928 --> 0:15:22.688
<v Speaker 2>wasn't giving me anything that I needed, and it was

0:15:22.768 --> 0:15:27.208
<v Speaker 2>just making my already hard life even harder. He could

0:15:27.248 --> 0:15:30.168
<v Speaker 2>have gotten a job and rented his own place, but

0:15:30.528 --> 0:15:32.568
<v Speaker 2>he didn't. He could have gone back to his parents

0:15:32.608 --> 0:15:35.208
<v Speaker 2>and apologize and asked to stay with them, but he didn't.

0:15:35.768 --> 0:15:38.528
<v Speaker 2>He decided to move out with his grandparents because it

0:15:38.528 --> 0:15:40.808
<v Speaker 2>would be a free place to live, there wouldn't be

0:15:40.848 --> 0:15:43.768
<v Speaker 2>the pressure from his parents, and he could just kind

0:15:43.768 --> 0:15:46.528
<v Speaker 2>of do what he wanted. So the plan was that

0:15:46.608 --> 0:15:48.728
<v Speaker 2>he was going to live out there and potentially apply

0:15:48.968 --> 0:15:50.848
<v Speaker 2>to be in the police force or something. That was

0:15:50.888 --> 0:15:55.248
<v Speaker 2>his next career goal. But it really wasn't happening during

0:15:55.288 --> 0:15:57.488
<v Speaker 2>those six months that we were kind of apart. I

0:15:57.488 --> 0:16:00.328
<v Speaker 2>think maybe we saw each other three times.

0:16:00.768 --> 0:16:04.928
<v Speaker 1>Three times wasn't ideal. But with Christmas approaching, quality time

0:16:04.968 --> 0:16:07.048
<v Speaker 1>together was only a few short weeks away.

0:16:07.248 --> 0:16:09.408
<v Speaker 2>The plan was he was going to come spend most

0:16:09.448 --> 0:16:10.968
<v Speaker 2>of the month of December with me, and we're going

0:16:11.008 --> 0:16:14.208
<v Speaker 2>to do Christmas together. So he comes back to Sydney

0:16:14.688 --> 0:16:18.128
<v Speaker 2>in December, we spend a couple of days together, and

0:16:18.208 --> 0:16:19.968
<v Speaker 2>he does have a little bit of conversation with his

0:16:20.008 --> 0:16:23.208
<v Speaker 2>family while he's in Sydney, which is awesome. And during

0:16:23.208 --> 0:16:26.648
<v Speaker 2>that conversation they start to talk about potentially a trip

0:16:26.688 --> 0:16:30.848
<v Speaker 2>to America. So one of his sisters had married an American,

0:16:31.208 --> 0:16:33.688
<v Speaker 2>moved over to America and had a baby, and so

0:16:33.808 --> 0:16:36.448
<v Speaker 2>none of the family had met this baby. And because

0:16:36.488 --> 0:16:39.128
<v Speaker 2>Harry wasn't employed, he was kind of the perfect candidate

0:16:39.168 --> 0:16:41.288
<v Speaker 2>to be the family representative to go over and visit

0:16:41.288 --> 0:16:44.408
<v Speaker 2>the baby. And so as he started rekindling this relationship

0:16:44.448 --> 0:16:48.488
<v Speaker 2>with his family and having more communication with them, they said, Hey,

0:16:48.808 --> 0:16:51.528
<v Speaker 2>why not for Christmas as your Christmas present, why don't

0:16:51.568 --> 0:16:54.328
<v Speaker 2>we send you over to America. And he came back

0:16:54.368 --> 0:16:56.728
<v Speaker 2>to me told me about this. Obviously, I was a

0:16:56.728 --> 0:16:58.848
<v Speaker 2>little bit upset because we had these plans to spend

0:16:58.888 --> 0:17:02.168
<v Speaker 2>Christmas together. But I was like, absolutely, go, I think

0:17:02.208 --> 0:17:03.888
<v Speaker 2>that's a great thing that you can go visit your sister.

0:17:04.008 --> 0:17:06.007
<v Speaker 2>She's had a baby, she's gotten married, she really does

0:17:06.128 --> 0:17:08.767
<v Speaker 2>need the support. And so, as sad as it was,

0:17:09.488 --> 0:17:12.007
<v Speaker 2>we decided that that's what we're gonna do. He had

0:17:12.008 --> 0:17:13.848
<v Speaker 2>bought me a whole bunch of Christmas presents and left

0:17:13.848 --> 0:17:15.288
<v Speaker 2>all this stuff at my house and then I dropped

0:17:15.328 --> 0:17:16.048
<v Speaker 2>him at the airport.

0:17:16.368 --> 0:17:20.248
<v Speaker 1>Coincidentally, Harry also had a small network in America, connections

0:17:20.248 --> 0:17:23.768
<v Speaker 1>he'd built through online gaming friendships forged behind the scenes

0:17:23.808 --> 0:17:25.808
<v Speaker 1>that suddenly didn't feel so far away.

0:17:26.128 --> 0:17:28.888
<v Speaker 2>He played PC games a lot, and he had friends

0:17:28.968 --> 0:17:32.448
<v Speaker 2>on Discord, which I even spoke to. At times. I'd

0:17:32.488 --> 0:17:34.128
<v Speaker 2>put on his headset and have a chat with them

0:17:34.168 --> 0:17:36.408
<v Speaker 2>as a joke. I know that he would play games

0:17:36.488 --> 0:17:39.528
<v Speaker 2>quite late into the night because the people that he's

0:17:39.568 --> 0:17:41.968
<v Speaker 2>playing are in America. I know that they were real friends.

0:17:42.208 --> 0:17:44.248
<v Speaker 2>He spoke to me about them all the time.

0:17:44.608 --> 0:17:46.728
<v Speaker 1>So while it was hard to say goodbye, Jade was

0:17:46.768 --> 0:17:49.728
<v Speaker 1>excited for Harry to reunite with his family, to meet

0:17:49.768 --> 0:17:52.688
<v Speaker 1>his new niece, and to finally connect with his online

0:17:52.728 --> 0:17:56.288
<v Speaker 1>friends in the flesh. They'd be fine, wouldn't they.

0:17:56.888 --> 0:18:00.487
<v Speaker 2>So he goes to America. On the trip there and

0:18:00.488 --> 0:18:02.928
<v Speaker 2>on the layovers, we're texting a little bit. We still

0:18:02.928 --> 0:18:05.488
<v Speaker 2>have a fire overtext, which is just ridiculous. It was

0:18:05.568 --> 0:18:08.207
<v Speaker 2>such a I can't even remember what we fought over it,

0:18:08.248 --> 0:18:09.727
<v Speaker 2>but it was something so tiny, and he got an

0:18:09.768 --> 0:18:12.048
<v Speaker 2>anoyed at me, maybe for messaging too much or something

0:18:12.088 --> 0:18:14.648
<v Speaker 2>like that. And then he gets to America and his

0:18:14.688 --> 0:18:16.528
<v Speaker 2>plan is to spend a couple of days by himself,

0:18:16.568 --> 0:18:18.248
<v Speaker 2>doing a bit of solo travel, and then he'll catch

0:18:18.288 --> 0:18:21.008
<v Speaker 2>up with his sister. He's maybe been in America for

0:18:21.128 --> 0:18:24.967
<v Speaker 2>like two three days, and one day he asks me

0:18:25.448 --> 0:18:27.687
<v Speaker 2>to do him a favor, and I was at work,

0:18:27.808 --> 0:18:30.488
<v Speaker 2>and I think the favor was to convert some of

0:18:30.528 --> 0:18:33.407
<v Speaker 2>his cryptocurrency or something like that, and I was like, no,

0:18:33.968 --> 0:18:37.008
<v Speaker 2>I am at work. I'm busy. I don't do cryptocurrency,

0:18:37.088 --> 0:18:38.528
<v Speaker 2>and he's like, but I need help. I can't do

0:18:38.568 --> 0:18:40.968
<v Speaker 2>it when I'm overseas. I have to do it in Australia.

0:18:41.008 --> 0:18:43.328
<v Speaker 2>And I just texted him and said, I'm at work,

0:18:43.368 --> 0:18:45.727
<v Speaker 2>I can't do it right now. I'm really busy. I'm sorry.

0:18:46.248 --> 0:18:47.967
<v Speaker 2>We can chat after work if you're really stuck, but

0:18:48.048 --> 0:18:49.648
<v Speaker 2>surely you don't need me to do this right this

0:18:49.768 --> 0:18:52.528
<v Speaker 2>very second. I go into an appointment with a patient

0:18:52.608 --> 0:18:55.288
<v Speaker 2>and then I finish the appointment and check my phone

0:18:55.688 --> 0:18:57.568
<v Speaker 2>and I have a whole string of texts from him

0:18:58.048 --> 0:19:00.248
<v Speaker 2>basically saying I can't believe you do this to me.

0:19:00.768 --> 0:19:04.328
<v Speaker 2>This is the last straw. We're done. And I'm a

0:19:04.328 --> 0:19:06.728
<v Speaker 2>little bit gobsmacked because it was such a tiny little

0:19:06.728 --> 0:19:09.408
<v Speaker 2>tiff that we'd had, and we'd been together for nearly

0:19:09.408 --> 0:19:11.728
<v Speaker 2>two years, and I was like, surely he's not breaking

0:19:11.808 --> 0:19:14.888
<v Speaker 2>up with me. And I went to respond and I

0:19:14.928 --> 0:19:18.328
<v Speaker 2>was blocked, And so then I went to Instagram and

0:19:18.368 --> 0:19:21.088
<v Speaker 2>I was blocked on Instagram. I went to TikTok and

0:19:21.128 --> 0:19:24.048
<v Speaker 2>I was blocked on TikTok, and I checked and I

0:19:24.128 --> 0:19:26.248
<v Speaker 2>was blocked on Discord and I was like, wow, this

0:19:26.328 --> 0:19:28.048
<v Speaker 2>guy has gone to the nth degree to block me

0:19:28.088 --> 0:19:31.927
<v Speaker 2>on everything. We're in different countries. It's over. And I

0:19:32.048 --> 0:19:34.928
<v Speaker 2>was just gobsmacked at the time. I don't even think

0:19:34.928 --> 0:19:37.888
<v Speaker 2>I cried. I just was so shocked that he had

0:19:38.208 --> 0:19:40.368
<v Speaker 2>broken up with me over such a small thing and

0:19:40.408 --> 0:19:44.608
<v Speaker 2>had blocked me on everything, and so I just told

0:19:44.608 --> 0:19:46.768
<v Speaker 2>my friends what happened and was really in a state

0:19:46.808 --> 0:19:48.568
<v Speaker 2>of shock. I think I went out for dinner with

0:19:48.568 --> 0:19:50.768
<v Speaker 2>some friends that night, trying to distract myself, and then

0:19:51.808 --> 0:19:54.568
<v Speaker 2>reality started to hit. I guess that it was really over.

0:19:55.248 --> 0:19:58.168
<v Speaker 2>The next day, I got a message from his parents saying, hey,

0:19:58.248 --> 0:20:00.687
<v Speaker 2>how are you just wondering if you've heard from Harry,

0:20:00.728 --> 0:20:03.008
<v Speaker 2>because he's supposed to be catching up with his sister

0:20:03.048 --> 0:20:06.888
<v Speaker 2>today and we haven't heard from him. And I said, oh, actually, no,

0:20:06.968 --> 0:20:09.088
<v Speaker 2>he broke up with me, and so they didn't know

0:20:09.168 --> 0:20:12.447
<v Speaker 2>this either, and they were super apologetic and so sad

0:20:12.528 --> 0:20:15.128
<v Speaker 2>and so sorry. His sister came over a couple of

0:20:15.208 --> 0:20:17.407
<v Speaker 2>days later and we had this lovely girl's night and

0:20:17.408 --> 0:20:20.688
<v Speaker 2>I vented to them about what had happened. I decided

0:20:20.728 --> 0:20:22.848
<v Speaker 2>that I would pack up all of the Christmas presents

0:20:22.848 --> 0:20:24.728
<v Speaker 2>that he'd bought me. I think he had his Xbox

0:20:24.808 --> 0:20:27.328
<v Speaker 2>at my place, all of his belongings. I packed them

0:20:27.328 --> 0:20:29.447
<v Speaker 2>all up. I gave them back to his sister. But

0:20:29.528 --> 0:20:31.408
<v Speaker 2>before I did that, I took a photo of them,

0:20:31.688 --> 0:20:33.888
<v Speaker 2>and I emailed it to him because I thought, if

0:20:33.888 --> 0:20:36.608
<v Speaker 2>he's in another country and I'm blocked on every social media,

0:20:37.168 --> 0:20:38.927
<v Speaker 2>I need to get through to him somehow. So I

0:20:38.968 --> 0:20:42.208
<v Speaker 2>sent him an email that just said, Hey, I've given

0:20:42.208 --> 0:20:45.008
<v Speaker 2>all your stuff back to your sister. Your family is

0:20:45.008 --> 0:20:46.687
<v Speaker 2>a bit worried about you because you haven't caught up

0:20:46.688 --> 0:20:49.288
<v Speaker 2>with your other sister. I hope you're okay. Reach out

0:20:49.328 --> 0:20:52.328
<v Speaker 2>if you can. And that opened the lines of communication.

0:20:53.768 --> 0:20:56.288
<v Speaker 2>So he responded to that email a day later with

0:20:56.328 --> 0:21:00.608
<v Speaker 2>this really really long email, this essay saying, I am

0:21:00.688 --> 0:21:04.648
<v Speaker 2>so sorry. I got really scared. I'm in America. I

0:21:04.688 --> 0:21:07.848
<v Speaker 2>got COVID and so now I'm in lockdown. I don't

0:21:07.888 --> 0:21:10.568
<v Speaker 2>know what to do. It's really scary. I'm so sorry.

0:21:10.608 --> 0:21:12.568
<v Speaker 2>I shouldn't have broken up with you. I just got scared.

0:21:13.088 --> 0:21:16.247
<v Speaker 2>He kept saying that he was trying to figure out

0:21:16.288 --> 0:21:18.727
<v Speaker 2>some accommodation he couldn't stay with his sister because he

0:21:18.768 --> 0:21:20.648
<v Speaker 2>was sick and he didn't want to get the baby sick.

0:21:20.928 --> 0:21:22.688
<v Speaker 2>He needed to figure out how to get flights back

0:21:22.688 --> 0:21:26.728
<v Speaker 2>to Australia. He went so far to say that he

0:21:26.768 --> 0:21:28.888
<v Speaker 2>wants to come back to Australia because he desperately wants

0:21:28.928 --> 0:21:31.008
<v Speaker 2>to marry me, and so he's going to earn me back.

0:21:31.848 --> 0:21:34.368
<v Speaker 2>All this time, he still hasn't caught up with his sister.

0:21:34.968 --> 0:21:38.328
<v Speaker 2>I'm still not unblocked on everything. We're still emailing, but

0:21:39.048 --> 0:21:41.967
<v Speaker 2>the general vibe of conversation is him saying he's going

0:21:42.008 --> 0:21:44.168
<v Speaker 2>to get back he wants me back, and me saying, well,

0:21:44.248 --> 0:21:46.128
<v Speaker 2>you're going to have to earn it, because I don't

0:21:46.128 --> 0:21:47.008
<v Speaker 2>think that's good enough.

0:21:47.528 --> 0:21:50.408
<v Speaker 1>Three weeks of emails back and forth followed, and while

0:21:50.448 --> 0:21:53.407
<v Speaker 1>Harry was saying all the right things, his behavior was

0:21:53.448 --> 0:21:54.688
<v Speaker 1>still a little off.

0:21:55.048 --> 0:21:58.407
<v Speaker 2>I decided to check if I'm still blocked, because I

0:21:58.448 --> 0:22:01.967
<v Speaker 2>was like, surely at this point he's reconsidering. And I

0:22:02.048 --> 0:22:05.328
<v Speaker 2>was still blocked on Instagram. I was still blocked on Facebook.

0:22:05.608 --> 0:22:08.247
<v Speaker 2>And then I looked up his name on TikTok and

0:22:08.288 --> 0:22:11.328
<v Speaker 2>a TikTok came up of him and another girl. He

0:22:11.368 --> 0:22:14.007
<v Speaker 2>hadn't posted it, but he was tagged in it, and

0:22:14.208 --> 0:22:17.568
<v Speaker 2>it was just a really stupid TikTok trend. But at

0:22:17.568 --> 0:22:21.328
<v Speaker 2>the end of the video they kiss and my stomach dropped.

0:22:21.368 --> 0:22:24.048
<v Speaker 2>I was just like, Oh, my gosh, he has moved

0:22:24.088 --> 0:22:28.088
<v Speaker 2>on that quickly from a two year relationship. It was insane.

0:22:28.248 --> 0:22:31.207
<v Speaker 2>I decided to comment on the TikTok and I just

0:22:31.248 --> 0:22:36.568
<v Speaker 2>said run. He broke up with me two weeks ago.

0:22:38.208 --> 0:22:40.208
<v Speaker 2>The next day I received a DM from this girl

0:22:40.248 --> 0:22:45.288
<v Speaker 2>and she says, hey, can we talk And we end

0:22:45.368 --> 0:22:48.167
<v Speaker 2>up having a call, and on this call, she tells

0:22:48.208 --> 0:22:51.928
<v Speaker 2>me that he has actually been staying with her the

0:22:52.128 --> 0:22:56.407
<v Speaker 2>entire time. Harry had met this girl, Emma on Discord

0:22:56.888 --> 0:23:00.088
<v Speaker 2>nine months earlier. They used to play games together, PC

0:23:00.288 --> 0:23:05.048
<v Speaker 2>games together, and nine months earlier, Harry had told Emma

0:23:05.088 --> 0:23:07.488
<v Speaker 2>that he loved her, and that was the start of

0:23:07.568 --> 0:23:12.928
<v Speaker 2>their nine month long internet relationship. When his parents had

0:23:12.928 --> 0:23:15.128
<v Speaker 2>offered to fly him to America to see his sister,

0:23:15.608 --> 0:23:18.088
<v Speaker 2>Harry decided that he was going to see Emma instead,

0:23:18.568 --> 0:23:21.407
<v Speaker 2>and so he took the tickets with the intention to

0:23:21.448 --> 0:23:24.888
<v Speaker 2>never see his sister, flew directly to Emma. So even

0:23:24.928 --> 0:23:27.408
<v Speaker 2>when he was talking to me on the flight there,

0:23:27.448 --> 0:23:28.848
<v Speaker 2>he was actually talking to her because she was the

0:23:28.888 --> 0:23:30.848
<v Speaker 2>one who picked her up from the airport, and he

0:23:30.888 --> 0:23:33.328
<v Speaker 2>stayed with her the whole time, and they started their

0:23:33.328 --> 0:23:38.008
<v Speaker 2>real life relationship. It was unbelievable. I was so shocked

0:23:38.048 --> 0:23:40.687
<v Speaker 2>because even when Harry had first broke up with me

0:23:41.128 --> 0:23:42.687
<v Speaker 2>and I was chatting to my friends, one of my

0:23:42.728 --> 0:23:44.568
<v Speaker 2>friends said to me, oh, do you think he's cheating?

0:23:44.608 --> 0:23:46.768
<v Speaker 2>And I literally laughed in her face because I went

0:23:46.888 --> 0:23:50.528
<v Speaker 2>no way, like, absolutely not. There's no sign. He lived

0:23:50.528 --> 0:23:53.368
<v Speaker 2>with me for three months and my family I would

0:23:53.368 --> 0:23:56.088
<v Speaker 2>have known. He's not that kind of person. He keeps

0:23:56.088 --> 0:23:59.168
<v Speaker 2>emailing me saying he wants to marry me. There's no way.

0:23:59.488 --> 0:24:02.687
<v Speaker 2>He's had every opportunity when we nearly broke up multiple times,

0:24:02.768 --> 0:24:04.888
<v Speaker 2>he had every opportunity to take that and run if

0:24:04.928 --> 0:24:07.368
<v Speaker 2>he was seeing someone else, and he didn't. He begged

0:24:07.448 --> 0:24:09.207
<v Speaker 2>me back. He did all these things to be with me,

0:24:09.288 --> 0:24:11.608
<v Speaker 2>so I really didn't think that he would be cheating.

0:24:11.768 --> 0:24:15.648
<v Speaker 2>So when she told me, I just couldn't believe it.

0:24:15.768 --> 0:24:19.008
<v Speaker 2>I felt sick. It was awful. She ended up sending

0:24:19.008 --> 0:24:21.447
<v Speaker 2>me a lot of screenshots as proof, and it was

0:24:21.488 --> 0:24:25.088
<v Speaker 2>so interesting comparing because at the same time he was

0:24:25.128 --> 0:24:27.328
<v Speaker 2>telling two girls that he loved them, and two girls

0:24:27.328 --> 0:24:28.968
<v Speaker 2>that he wanted to be with them and was planning

0:24:28.968 --> 0:24:32.207
<v Speaker 2>a life with them. It's just psychopathic. I could not

0:24:32.288 --> 0:24:34.728
<v Speaker 2>believe that he could do that, and also to take

0:24:35.168 --> 0:24:38.328
<v Speaker 2>a free flight from his parents to see his sister

0:24:38.448 --> 0:24:41.768
<v Speaker 2>who needed family and support, and to go and see

0:24:41.808 --> 0:24:44.448
<v Speaker 2>his other girlfriend. It was just crazy.

0:24:44.928 --> 0:24:47.088
<v Speaker 1>So Jade broke the news to his family.

0:24:47.648 --> 0:24:49.888
<v Speaker 2>I said, hey, I don't know whether you've heard from him,

0:24:49.888 --> 0:24:52.768
<v Speaker 2>but I've just found out that he's okay, but he's

0:24:52.768 --> 0:24:56.447
<v Speaker 2>staying with this chick. He wasn't planning on seeing his sister.

0:24:56.888 --> 0:25:00.328
<v Speaker 2>I'm really sorry. His family was so beautiful about it.

0:25:00.408 --> 0:25:03.968
<v Speaker 2>They were so apologetic. I had a FaceTime with the

0:25:04.048 --> 0:25:07.048
<v Speaker 2>sisters as I was crying, and they were just really

0:25:07.168 --> 0:25:10.167
<v Speaker 2>kind and supportive. They were so apolyg jed it for

0:25:10.208 --> 0:25:12.928
<v Speaker 2>his actions, not that it's had anything to do with them,

0:25:13.568 --> 0:25:16.967
<v Speaker 2>And from that point onwards, his mum decided that they

0:25:16.968 --> 0:25:19.528
<v Speaker 2>were going to bring him back, so they were organizing

0:25:19.528 --> 0:25:23.407
<v Speaker 2>his flights, liaising with this girl and her family because

0:25:23.688 --> 0:25:26.167
<v Speaker 2>they weren't sure if her family was aware that he

0:25:26.288 --> 0:25:30.007
<v Speaker 2>was cheating on her With me. Kind of we were

0:25:30.048 --> 0:25:33.048
<v Speaker 2>both the other woman in this situation, and so they

0:25:33.048 --> 0:25:35.128
<v Speaker 2>were chatting with her and her family and organizing to

0:25:35.128 --> 0:25:37.687
<v Speaker 2>bring him back because they were so ashamed of what

0:25:37.768 --> 0:25:39.768
<v Speaker 2>he'd done and how he behaved and all that kind

0:25:39.808 --> 0:25:42.727
<v Speaker 2>of stuff. Me and this girl kind of bonded. We

0:25:42.768 --> 0:25:44.608
<v Speaker 2>both were like, I can't believe that this guy is

0:25:44.648 --> 0:25:47.488
<v Speaker 2>so awful. She told me that she didn't know about me,

0:25:48.168 --> 0:25:50.488
<v Speaker 2>that she just thought she was yet in a relationship

0:25:50.528 --> 0:25:52.407
<v Speaker 2>with him. She didn't realize there was someone on the side.

0:25:53.768 --> 0:25:57.008
<v Speaker 1>Harry moved back to Australia to his grandmother's house six

0:25:57.048 --> 0:26:00.688
<v Speaker 1>hours away, and Jade didn't hear a word from him. Meanwhile,

0:26:00.688 --> 0:26:04.608
<v Speaker 1>her bond with Emma only continued to grow until.

0:26:05.048 --> 0:26:08.488
<v Speaker 2>Emma blocks me and I find out from Harry's sister

0:26:08.608 --> 0:26:11.608
<v Speaker 2>that he sold his car and use the money to

0:26:11.648 --> 0:26:13.808
<v Speaker 2>buy one way ticket to America to be with her,

0:26:14.648 --> 0:26:17.568
<v Speaker 2>and I just couldn't believe it. I was like, Wow,

0:26:18.088 --> 0:26:20.328
<v Speaker 2>I can't believe a that she would be with him,

0:26:20.848 --> 0:26:24.128
<v Speaker 2>and b that after a month of knowing each other

0:26:24.128 --> 0:26:26.288
<v Speaker 2>in real life, he's willing to move countries for her,

0:26:26.648 --> 0:26:28.927
<v Speaker 2>when literally a few weeks ago he was telling me

0:26:28.968 --> 0:26:33.288
<v Speaker 2>that he wanted to marry me. So my brain always

0:26:33.288 --> 0:26:35.728
<v Speaker 2>goes a million miles an hour, and all it was

0:26:35.768 --> 0:26:38.448
<v Speaker 2>telling me was all of these awful things about how

0:26:38.448 --> 0:26:40.768
<v Speaker 2>he picked someone better, how he wasn't good enough, how

0:26:41.208 --> 0:26:43.648
<v Speaker 2>I should have known better, how I did this to myself,

0:26:43.728 --> 0:26:47.848
<v Speaker 2>all of these really awful negative thoughts that obviously are triggered.

0:26:48.328 --> 0:26:51.728
<v Speaker 2>I was depressed. I couldn't control these awful thoughts that

0:26:51.768 --> 0:26:54.167
<v Speaker 2>were going around in my head, and doing everyday lovely

0:26:54.248 --> 0:26:58.088
<v Speaker 2>things was just getting really hard because my brain was

0:26:58.088 --> 0:26:59.848
<v Speaker 2>just going a million miles an hour telling me all

0:26:59.888 --> 0:27:02.888
<v Speaker 2>these bad things and reminding me or making up stories

0:27:02.928 --> 0:27:05.448
<v Speaker 2>about what could be happening or what they could be

0:27:05.488 --> 0:27:07.487
<v Speaker 2>saying about me, or what this said about me, or

0:27:07.608 --> 0:27:09.848
<v Speaker 2>what my life would be now that this is over.

0:27:10.128 --> 0:27:12.728
<v Speaker 2>I didn't believe I could get any more. So it

0:27:12.768 --> 0:27:16.088
<v Speaker 2>was a lot of sleepless nights, struggling to get up

0:27:16.128 --> 0:27:18.967
<v Speaker 2>in the morning, really just dragging my feet through the

0:27:19.048 --> 0:27:21.447
<v Speaker 2>day and not being able to find the joy in life.

0:27:22.088 --> 0:27:25.768
<v Speaker 2>And so during that period, reaching out, going to see

0:27:25.768 --> 0:27:29.888
<v Speaker 2>a therapist and just getting over the stigma was so helpful.

0:27:30.288 --> 0:27:32.448
<v Speaker 1>Jad was doing all the work to get herself into

0:27:32.448 --> 0:27:35.168
<v Speaker 1>a better place, and it was working. Harry and Emma

0:27:35.208 --> 0:27:38.328
<v Speaker 1>were starting to become a distant memory, but that was

0:27:38.408 --> 0:27:39.488
<v Speaker 1>about to change.

0:27:39.688 --> 0:27:41.768
<v Speaker 2>My mom calls me and she says, hey, I need

0:27:41.808 --> 0:27:43.288
<v Speaker 2>to tell you something before you hear it through the

0:27:43.288 --> 0:27:46.128
<v Speaker 2>grape vine. She says that she's had a conversation with

0:27:46.168 --> 0:27:48.967
<v Speaker 2>Harry's mum and they found out some information that they

0:27:49.048 --> 0:27:51.568
<v Speaker 2>wanted to tell me, and that information was that Harry

0:27:51.608 --> 0:27:56.688
<v Speaker 2>and Emma got married. Emma was nineteen, Harry was twenty one.

0:27:57.448 --> 0:27:59.288
<v Speaker 2>They'd known each other in person for a month, that

0:27:59.408 --> 0:28:03.208
<v Speaker 2>had an online relationship for nine months. I was just

0:28:03.328 --> 0:28:06.687
<v Speaker 2>so gobsmacked, but it was so hilarious. I remember that

0:28:06.808 --> 0:28:09.407
<v Speaker 2>night texting my girlfriends and being like, we need to

0:28:09.408 --> 0:28:11.528
<v Speaker 2>go out, but this is the funniest thing that's ever

0:28:11.568 --> 0:28:14.648
<v Speaker 2>happened to me. This is now a joke. Let's go celebrate.

0:28:14.688 --> 0:28:16.448
<v Speaker 2>And so we went out. We had heaps of fun

0:28:17.008 --> 0:28:20.088
<v Speaker 2>coming out of it. I definitely worked on myself, so

0:28:20.168 --> 0:28:22.808
<v Speaker 2>all the normal things, working out, going to my therapist,

0:28:23.048 --> 0:28:26.368
<v Speaker 2>eating well, working like, doing my job well and investing

0:28:26.368 --> 0:28:30.048
<v Speaker 2>time into that. But then the other thing was I

0:28:30.088 --> 0:28:33.808
<v Speaker 2>started to date like properly, so I jumped on online

0:28:33.888 --> 0:28:35.928
<v Speaker 2>dating all that kind of stuff, and I just went

0:28:35.968 --> 0:28:39.528
<v Speaker 2>out with people just for the sake of it. I

0:28:39.568 --> 0:28:43.288
<v Speaker 2>wasn't necessarily looking for anything serious, but I wasn't opposed

0:28:43.288 --> 0:28:45.248
<v Speaker 2>to it, and I think that was actually something that

0:28:45.288 --> 0:28:48.608
<v Speaker 2>was really helpful in helping me move on and develop

0:28:48.688 --> 0:28:51.168
<v Speaker 2>that level of self confidence, because not only was I

0:28:51.208 --> 0:28:53.648
<v Speaker 2>working on myself and getting proud of myself on my own,

0:28:53.688 --> 0:28:55.888
<v Speaker 2>but also seeing that there is so many fish in

0:28:55.928 --> 0:28:58.288
<v Speaker 2>the sea and people want you, you just have to

0:28:58.328 --> 0:29:00.368
<v Speaker 2>put yourself out there. So it really helped for me

0:29:00.408 --> 0:29:02.848
<v Speaker 2>to take him off this pedestal of being the only

0:29:02.888 --> 0:29:05.448
<v Speaker 2>guy that will ever love me and going there are

0:29:05.528 --> 0:29:07.968
<v Speaker 2>so many other people that will love me. I actually

0:29:08.088 --> 0:29:10.488
<v Speaker 2>have the power to choose someone who is good enough.

0:29:10.248 --> 0:29:13.328
<v Speaker 1>For me, and she did. His name was Matt, so.

0:29:13.328 --> 0:29:16.568
<v Speaker 2>We did meet on hand. There was not necessarily huge

0:29:16.608 --> 0:29:18.688
<v Speaker 2>fireworks when I first met him. There was just a

0:29:18.768 --> 0:29:22.408
<v Speaker 2>sense of calm. When I went on our first date,

0:29:22.808 --> 0:29:26.808
<v Speaker 2>I was running super late, and he was really patient

0:29:26.848 --> 0:29:29.088
<v Speaker 2>and waited and it was just really natural, And I

0:29:29.088 --> 0:29:32.088
<v Speaker 2>think that's the thing that I have really appreciated. It

0:29:32.128 --> 0:29:35.328
<v Speaker 2>was just steady but nice. It's not like I wasn't

0:29:35.408 --> 0:29:37.408
<v Speaker 2>enjoying my time. I really enjoyed my time, but I

0:29:37.408 --> 0:29:40.688
<v Speaker 2>didn't feel pressure. I didn't feel anxious before date, I

0:29:40.808 --> 0:29:42.568
<v Speaker 2>was looking forward to it, but it just brought a

0:29:42.568 --> 0:29:45.408
<v Speaker 2>sense of peace and calm, which was really lovely. He's

0:29:45.528 --> 0:29:50.168
<v Speaker 2>like the nicest person ever, literally like my other half.

0:29:50.968 --> 0:29:53.928
<v Speaker 2>So my life goes on. I move on. I have

0:29:54.048 --> 0:29:57.248
<v Speaker 2>forgotten about Harry. And then one night in December, I'm

0:29:57.288 --> 0:30:00.808
<v Speaker 2>sitting at work scrolling my emails and I see an

0:30:00.888 --> 0:30:04.808
<v Speaker 2>email from Emma and Harry and it takes me a

0:30:04.848 --> 0:30:07.168
<v Speaker 2>minute to be like, who are these people? And then

0:30:07.208 --> 0:30:09.608
<v Speaker 2>it clicks and I'm like, oh my goodness, Harry my

0:30:10.128 --> 0:30:12.768
<v Speaker 2>and Emma his new wife. And so I get one

0:30:12.808 --> 0:30:14.928
<v Speaker 2>of my friends to read the email first because I'm like,

0:30:14.968 --> 0:30:17.808
<v Speaker 2>what on earth have they sent me? And she tells me,

0:30:17.808 --> 0:30:21.008
<v Speaker 2>don't read it. She goes, don't read it, it's ridiculous.

0:30:21.208 --> 0:30:25.448
<v Speaker 2>It's a load of full I obviously read it, and

0:30:25.528 --> 0:30:29.048
<v Speaker 2>so Harry had basically sent me this really long email

0:30:29.408 --> 0:30:32.968
<v Speaker 2>that said I never loved you, I was never attracted

0:30:32.968 --> 0:30:35.608
<v Speaker 2>to you. I only stayed with you because I was

0:30:35.728 --> 0:30:39.808
<v Speaker 2>using you. I was using your family. You're worthless and

0:30:39.848 --> 0:30:43.888
<v Speaker 2>now I'm really happily married. Emma's email, on the other hand,

0:30:44.568 --> 0:30:46.928
<v Speaker 2>was a lot of fun. She sent me an even

0:30:47.008 --> 0:30:49.888
<v Speaker 2>longer email and the whole gist of the email was

0:30:49.888 --> 0:30:51.968
<v Speaker 2>that she basically thought that I was still in love

0:30:51.968 --> 0:30:55.328
<v Speaker 2>with Harry, and she had proof. Her email starts out

0:30:55.448 --> 0:30:57.968
<v Speaker 2>with saying how worthless I am and what a terrible person.

0:30:58.008 --> 0:30:59.808
<v Speaker 2>And one of the things that she decides to mention

0:31:00.008 --> 0:31:02.728
<v Speaker 2>is my career, the fact that I work in healthcare.

0:31:02.848 --> 0:31:05.128
<v Speaker 2>And one of the things that she says in the email,

0:31:05.128 --> 0:31:07.888
<v Speaker 2>which is just so random, She's like, how can you

0:31:07.888 --> 0:31:10.048
<v Speaker 2>even call yourself a midwife? You take me here are

0:31:10.088 --> 0:31:13.168
<v Speaker 2>selfies in the bathroom. Do you know how dirty bathrooms are?

0:31:13.248 --> 0:31:15.328
<v Speaker 2>There are so many more gems on a phone than

0:31:15.368 --> 0:31:18.488
<v Speaker 2>a toilet, And it was just the most random, ridiculous thing.

0:31:18.928 --> 0:31:20.688
<v Speaker 2>Then she goes on to say her proof that I'm

0:31:20.688 --> 0:31:23.848
<v Speaker 2>still in love with Harry, and her proof had an

0:31:23.888 --> 0:31:27.608
<v Speaker 2>attached PDF file. And when I opened up this pdf file,

0:31:27.968 --> 0:31:31.408
<v Speaker 2>there was screenshots of so much. The first thing was

0:31:31.848 --> 0:31:35.008
<v Speaker 2>tagged photos on Facebook. So even though I wasn't friends

0:31:35.008 --> 0:31:37.448
<v Speaker 2>with him anymore, he was blocked. I deleted all our photos.

0:31:37.688 --> 0:31:39.928
<v Speaker 2>There was still some group photos that were tagged in together,

0:31:40.248 --> 0:31:42.088
<v Speaker 2>and she couldn't believe that I still had those on

0:31:42.128 --> 0:31:45.328
<v Speaker 2>my profile. The other thing is she had gone through

0:31:45.328 --> 0:31:48.568
<v Speaker 2>my Spotify so she found me on Spotify, went through

0:31:48.568 --> 0:31:51.888
<v Speaker 2>my whole Spotify and screenshotted lyrics of songs in my

0:31:51.968 --> 0:31:55.928
<v Speaker 2>playlists that obviously were like love songs or breakup songs,

0:31:55.928 --> 0:31:57.528
<v Speaker 2>and she said, look at the songs that you listen to.

0:31:57.648 --> 0:31:59.488
<v Speaker 2>This is proof that you're still in love with him.

0:32:00.128 --> 0:32:02.688
<v Speaker 2>She signed off by saying, well, you'll never have him.

0:32:02.888 --> 0:32:04.608
<v Speaker 2>We're married now and we're going to come to Australia

0:32:04.648 --> 0:32:07.408
<v Speaker 2>to get married for a second time. Good luck and

0:32:07.408 --> 0:32:07.928
<v Speaker 2>all the best.

0:32:09.408 --> 0:32:11.648
<v Speaker 1>I took those emails with a grain of salt. It

0:32:11.688 --> 0:32:13.808
<v Speaker 1>had been a years since she and Harry had broken up,

0:32:13.928 --> 0:32:16.328
<v Speaker 1>and their words said far more about them than they

0:32:16.368 --> 0:32:19.768
<v Speaker 1>did about her. Clearly they needed to unburden themselves. So

0:32:19.888 --> 0:32:22.768
<v Speaker 1>Jade didn't reply. She let the silence stand. That was

0:32:22.808 --> 0:32:25.688
<v Speaker 1>the end of it. Well so she thought, Because one

0:32:25.768 --> 0:32:26.488
<v Speaker 1>year later.

0:32:26.848 --> 0:32:29.528
<v Speaker 2>I'm sitting in the car at my current boyfriend's basketball

0:32:29.528 --> 0:32:32.288
<v Speaker 2>game and going through my emails yet again, and I

0:32:32.328 --> 0:32:35.768
<v Speaker 2>have an email from the Healthcare Complaints Commission and my

0:32:35.888 --> 0:32:38.968
<v Speaker 2>stomach drops because I really love my job. I'm really

0:32:38.968 --> 0:32:41.208
<v Speaker 2>proud of it, and to think that someone has put

0:32:41.248 --> 0:32:43.608
<v Speaker 2>in a complaint about me, it was really frightening, and

0:32:43.648 --> 0:32:46.088
<v Speaker 2>I open up the complaint and it's anonymous, but I

0:32:46.128 --> 0:32:50.008
<v Speaker 2>start to read it, and the complaint says, Jade is

0:32:50.088 --> 0:32:53.448
<v Speaker 2>such a terrible midwife. She takes mirror selfies in the bathroom.

0:32:53.648 --> 0:32:56.648
<v Speaker 2>Bathrooms are really unhygienic. How can she be a midwife?

0:32:56.688 --> 0:33:00.368
<v Speaker 2>And instantly I know, without a shadow of doubt, this

0:33:00.408 --> 0:33:03.928
<v Speaker 2>is Emma. Emma has put in a complaint to the

0:33:04.048 --> 0:33:07.608
<v Speaker 2>health Care Complaints Commission about me because it mirrors the

0:33:07.648 --> 0:33:11.168
<v Speaker 2>email that she sent me a year before. I was

0:33:11.288 --> 0:33:14.168
<v Speaker 2>really upset and I'm like, I can't believe that she's

0:33:14.208 --> 0:33:16.608
<v Speaker 2>doing this to me. What have I done to deserve this?

0:33:17.448 --> 0:33:19.488
<v Speaker 2>And so I reached out to the union. It was

0:33:19.528 --> 0:33:22.488
<v Speaker 2>about a four week process of putting in my response,

0:33:22.528 --> 0:33:25.088
<v Speaker 2>waiting for the Healthcare Complaints Commission to come back and

0:33:25.168 --> 0:33:27.768
<v Speaker 2>to state our case and things like that. And luckily

0:33:27.808 --> 0:33:30.808
<v Speaker 2>when we so, I actually had a screenshot of the email,

0:33:30.928 --> 0:33:33.168
<v Speaker 2>so I hadn't deleted it. I just never responded to it.

0:33:33.248 --> 0:33:35.888
<v Speaker 2>So when we put the email next to the complaint,

0:33:35.968 --> 0:33:39.288
<v Speaker 2>it was very clear to see. I just had no

0:33:39.408 --> 0:33:44.088
<v Speaker 2>clue why on earth they would decide two years after

0:33:45.168 --> 0:33:47.488
<v Speaker 2>to have a go at my career. I explained the

0:33:47.528 --> 0:33:50.608
<v Speaker 2>situation we have to get a lawyer, and so I

0:33:50.688 --> 0:33:53.328
<v Speaker 2>work with the lawyer and basically we fight this claim

0:33:53.448 --> 0:33:56.208
<v Speaker 2>as what's called the vexatious claim, which just proves that

0:33:56.608 --> 0:33:58.048
<v Speaker 2>this is someone who's just trying to have a go

0:33:58.128 --> 0:34:00.368
<v Speaker 2>at you to ruin your career, and it's not actually

0:34:01.048 --> 0:34:04.608
<v Speaker 2>an unsafe practice or something that needs to be investigated.

0:34:04.648 --> 0:34:07.448
<v Speaker 2>And of course it gets wiped and everything's fine. But

0:34:08.047 --> 0:34:11.408
<v Speaker 2>I could not believe it, and so so I hadn't

0:34:11.448 --> 0:34:13.968
<v Speaker 2>had any contact with Harry's family for that year. But

0:34:14.047 --> 0:34:16.488
<v Speaker 2>I do reach out to his mum and I go, hey,

0:34:16.648 --> 0:34:19.448
<v Speaker 2>this has just happened, and this is really serious. She's

0:34:19.488 --> 0:34:22.728
<v Speaker 2>tried to attack my career. I know that it's her

0:34:22.928 --> 0:34:26.888
<v Speaker 2>because it mirrors the email verbatim. It's been proved that

0:34:26.968 --> 0:34:29.728
<v Speaker 2>it's her, even though it's anonymous. Have you had any

0:34:29.728 --> 0:34:31.607
<v Speaker 2>contact do you know why this might be happening? Now?

0:34:31.608 --> 0:34:35.488
<v Speaker 2>A year later, and Harry's poor mom says that Harry

0:34:35.528 --> 0:34:39.008
<v Speaker 2>hasn't had any contact with her since he cheated on

0:34:39.048 --> 0:34:41.728
<v Speaker 2>me and got married to this girl, So he's completely

0:34:41.728 --> 0:34:44.288
<v Speaker 2>cut off his whole family, and so his poor mom

0:34:44.328 --> 0:34:46.368
<v Speaker 2>is really sad about it and goes, look, I'm really sorry.

0:34:46.368 --> 0:34:49.008
<v Speaker 2>I don't know why this is happening, but unfortunately he's

0:34:49.048 --> 0:34:51.888
<v Speaker 2>not a part of our family anymore either, by his choice.

0:34:51.968 --> 0:34:55.087
<v Speaker 1>It was a stressful situation, and even though Jade's name

0:34:55.168 --> 0:34:57.768
<v Speaker 1>was cleared of any wrongdoing at work, it had rocked

0:34:57.768 --> 0:35:00.888
<v Speaker 1>her pretty hard. Thankfully, Matt was there supporting her the

0:35:00.928 --> 0:35:01.448
<v Speaker 1>whole time.

0:35:01.568 --> 0:35:05.208
<v Speaker 2>He'd heard the story about my ex and all of

0:35:05.208 --> 0:35:09.368
<v Speaker 2>the craziness, so he was super supportive, but definitely was

0:35:09.448 --> 0:35:12.168
<v Speaker 2>pretty and going, let's make sure that there's nothing that

0:35:12.208 --> 0:35:13.968
<v Speaker 2>they can do to get to you. I mean, I

0:35:14.008 --> 0:35:16.248
<v Speaker 2>hadn't done anything wrong at work, so I was safe,

0:35:16.288 --> 0:35:18.248
<v Speaker 2>but it stills a little bit of a hit to

0:35:18.288 --> 0:35:20.768
<v Speaker 2>the ego and the confidence when that happens. So we

0:35:20.808 --> 0:35:22.728
<v Speaker 2>both made sure that all of our socials were on private,

0:35:22.728 --> 0:35:24.527
<v Speaker 2>which they were, and all that kind of stuff, and

0:35:24.888 --> 0:35:27.048
<v Speaker 2>he just supported me through it and made me able

0:35:27.088 --> 0:35:31.208
<v Speaker 2>to see the laughable side of it. So life moves on.

0:35:31.648 --> 0:35:34.087
<v Speaker 2>I just add it as yet another chapter in this

0:35:34.168 --> 0:35:37.128
<v Speaker 2>crazy story and I forget about it once we're finished

0:35:37.128 --> 0:35:37.648
<v Speaker 2>with the lawyer.

0:35:38.088 --> 0:35:39.647
<v Speaker 1>And then you guessed it.

0:35:39.928 --> 0:35:44.128
<v Speaker 2>One year later, I am on a holiday with my family.

0:35:44.688 --> 0:35:47.728
<v Speaker 2>We were talking about the fact that my boyfriend used

0:35:47.768 --> 0:35:50.368
<v Speaker 2>to make little DJ mixes back when he was in

0:35:50.448 --> 0:35:52.768
<v Speaker 2>UNI and post them on SoundCloud, and I was like, oh,

0:35:52.768 --> 0:35:55.208
<v Speaker 2>that's so funny. I wonder if they're still there, And

0:35:55.288 --> 0:35:58.848
<v Speaker 2>so he brings up his SoundCloud to see if the

0:35:58.888 --> 0:36:02.167
<v Speaker 2>mixers are still there, and SoundCloud gives you a little

0:36:02.168 --> 0:36:04.448
<v Speaker 2>bit of a breakdown of your top listeners and things

0:36:04.448 --> 0:36:08.408
<v Speaker 2>like that. And because he only mixed DJ things tracks

0:36:08.528 --> 0:36:11.688
<v Speaker 2>in Uni, he didn't think that he would have any listeners.

0:36:11.688 --> 0:36:14.768
<v Speaker 2>It's just a silly Uni thing. But he has a

0:36:14.888 --> 0:36:18.087
<v Speaker 2>number one top listener who listens to each of his

0:36:18.168 --> 0:36:22.008
<v Speaker 2>two tracks every single month for the last eight months.

0:36:22.528 --> 0:36:28.248
<v Speaker 2>And it's Emma. Emma has found my boyfriend on SoundCloud

0:36:28.968 --> 0:36:32.448
<v Speaker 2>and has for some reason decided to listen to every

0:36:32.488 --> 0:36:36.488
<v Speaker 2>single one of his things, his two uploads, every single

0:36:36.568 --> 0:36:40.328
<v Speaker 2>month for eight months. And at this where just like,

0:36:40.528 --> 0:36:44.647
<v Speaker 2>what the hell? How I don't understand what is your

0:36:44.688 --> 0:36:47.527
<v Speaker 2>motive behind this? How did you find him? How did

0:36:47.528 --> 0:36:50.448
<v Speaker 2>you find him on SoundCloud of all things? His username

0:36:50.528 --> 0:36:53.368
<v Speaker 2>wasn't even his proper name. I just was like, this

0:36:53.528 --> 0:36:57.687
<v Speaker 2>is crazy, it was insane. I had blocked and made

0:36:57.688 --> 0:37:00.528
<v Speaker 2>myself really private before I posted anything, just to protect

0:37:00.568 --> 0:37:04.608
<v Speaker 2>our safety. And so unless she has a burner account

0:37:04.808 --> 0:37:07.688
<v Speaker 2>that I wasn't aware of that she's talking me on

0:37:08.208 --> 0:37:11.328
<v Speaker 2>unless she has a burner account that she's stalking him on.

0:37:11.488 --> 0:37:13.647
<v Speaker 2>But how would she find him? I don't even get it.

0:37:13.848 --> 0:37:15.848
<v Speaker 2>He and I literally didn't even grow up in the

0:37:15.888 --> 0:37:19.368
<v Speaker 2>same place. I don't understand how she could have known

0:37:19.568 --> 0:37:21.207
<v Speaker 2>and we met on hinge. It's not like we met

0:37:21.488 --> 0:37:25.047
<v Speaker 2>at the same church or at the same workplace. But yeah,

0:37:25.248 --> 0:37:29.008
<v Speaker 2>and also, what do you gain from stalking someone's SoundCloud

0:37:29.048 --> 0:37:32.408
<v Speaker 2>and listening to their mixes twice a month every month?

0:37:33.248 --> 0:37:36.288
<v Speaker 2>It's just so random. So when he pulls it up

0:37:36.488 --> 0:37:38.888
<v Speaker 2>and sees Emma, he goes, hold on, I think I

0:37:38.928 --> 0:37:41.328
<v Speaker 2>know who that is. Is that your ex's wife? And

0:37:41.368 --> 0:37:44.488
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh my gosh, it is. We're both gobsmacked.

0:37:44.648 --> 0:37:47.567
<v Speaker 2>And then in May of twenty twenty five, we pull

0:37:47.648 --> 0:37:49.768
<v Speaker 2>up the SoundCloud again, just curious to see if she's

0:37:49.808 --> 0:37:52.768
<v Speaker 2>still looking, and she is. She still has continued every

0:37:52.808 --> 0:37:56.848
<v Speaker 2>month to listen to the tracks twice from December until May,

0:37:57.168 --> 0:38:00.248
<v Speaker 2>and so at that point my boyfriend blocks her and goes,

0:38:00.848 --> 0:38:03.768
<v Speaker 2>that's it. We cannot do this anymore. And that was

0:38:03.808 --> 0:38:06.527
<v Speaker 2>the last that we heard from Harry or Emma.

0:38:06.608 --> 0:38:09.008
<v Speaker 1>And While Jade was relieved to finally be on her

0:38:09.048 --> 0:38:12.208
<v Speaker 1>own three years after the breakup, what she missed most,

0:38:12.488 --> 0:38:15.928
<v Speaker 1>the ache that never fully faded wasn't Harry, but the

0:38:15.968 --> 0:38:18.688
<v Speaker 1>family she'd lost with him.

0:38:19.128 --> 0:38:22.528
<v Speaker 2>I haven't had any conversation with Harry's family or anything

0:38:22.568 --> 0:38:25.448
<v Speaker 2>like that, so I'm not sure whether he's ever spoken

0:38:25.528 --> 0:38:28.728
<v Speaker 2>to them again since the breakup. And unfortunately, my friendship

0:38:28.768 --> 0:38:31.368
<v Speaker 2>with the sister did kind of deteriorate just because of

0:38:31.368 --> 0:38:33.968
<v Speaker 2>the distance that we had to make to protect myself

0:38:34.008 --> 0:38:36.248
<v Speaker 2>and my life and my current relationship and those kind

0:38:36.248 --> 0:38:39.328
<v Speaker 2>of things. But no bad blood. I ran into one

0:38:39.368 --> 0:38:41.567
<v Speaker 2>of his brothers at the beach and we didn't say

0:38:41.568 --> 0:38:44.448
<v Speaker 2>anything to each other, but Harry definitely wasn't there, so

0:38:44.488 --> 0:38:48.168
<v Speaker 2>I assume that he's just living life in America with

0:38:48.248 --> 0:38:51.127
<v Speaker 2>a girl who still wants to stalk his ex. It's

0:38:51.208 --> 0:38:55.208
<v Speaker 2>really sad when you lose other things when you end

0:38:55.248 --> 0:38:58.848
<v Speaker 2>a relationship, anyr relationship is obviously hard, regardless of whether

0:38:58.888 --> 0:39:01.808
<v Speaker 2>it was bad blood, nice blood, all that kind of stuff.

0:39:01.848 --> 0:39:04.328
<v Speaker 2>But that was one of the really hardest things, was

0:39:04.368 --> 0:39:07.368
<v Speaker 2>losing a family that was really kind to me and

0:39:07.848 --> 0:39:13.288
<v Speaker 2>was supportive, and some really good friends. But I think overall,

0:39:13.448 --> 0:39:16.368
<v Speaker 2>I have gained so much from this breakup. I've gained

0:39:16.448 --> 0:39:18.488
<v Speaker 2>a really funny story to tell when you've had a

0:39:18.528 --> 0:39:21.848
<v Speaker 2>few drinks. I've also gained an amazing therapist and a

0:39:21.888 --> 0:39:25.248
<v Speaker 2>good boyfriend, and emotional maturity and so much that I

0:39:25.288 --> 0:39:28.647
<v Speaker 2>would never have achieved if I didn't go through this trauma,

0:39:28.728 --> 0:39:30.608
<v Speaker 2>because I feel like sometimes you really need to be

0:39:30.648 --> 0:39:32.768
<v Speaker 2>broken down in order to be rebuilt, and this gave

0:39:32.808 --> 0:39:36.648
<v Speaker 2>me such a great opportunity. So while they're auscars and

0:39:36.848 --> 0:39:39.608
<v Speaker 2>things that I've lost along the way that are really sad,

0:39:40.008 --> 0:39:42.008
<v Speaker 2>there's also so much that I've gained that I just

0:39:42.008 --> 0:39:43.248
<v Speaker 2>have to be grateful for it. All.

0:39:59.928 --> 0:40:02.567
<v Speaker 1>Everyone has an ex It's a Minti Media production and

0:40:02.648 --> 0:40:05.648
<v Speaker 1>proudly part of the Mum and mea Network. This episode

0:40:05.808 --> 0:40:09.167
<v Speaker 1>was written and produced by Linda Scott, interview conducted by

0:40:09.208 --> 0:40:12.728
<v Speaker 1>Eilish Laney and narrated by me Georgia Love. If you

0:40:12.768 --> 0:40:15.368
<v Speaker 1>have a story you'd like to share, email podcast at

0:40:15.408 --> 0:40:18.368
<v Speaker 1>momamea dot com dot au. You can support the show

0:40:18.408 --> 0:40:21.008
<v Speaker 1>by following it in your favorite podcast app and leaving

0:40:21.048 --> 0:40:23.047
<v Speaker 1>us a five star review. We'll see you for the

0:40:23.048 --> 0:40:24.128
<v Speaker 1>next episode.