WEBVTT - The Worst Decade Of Your Life 0:00:09.407 --> 0:00:13.487 The feeling when you need to put your hair back urgently. 0:00:13.807 --> 0:00:17.247 I know, I get. It's a real feeling. I just 0:00:17.327 --> 0:00:19.887 had it, and I was like, I will use an 0:00:19.967 --> 0:00:23.727 electrical cord if I have to. I am so desperate 0:00:23.767 --> 0:00:25.087 I actually can't stand it. 0:00:25.207 --> 0:00:27.567 I entirely agree there should be a word for that, 0:00:27.647 --> 0:00:31.447 because to concentrate and they need your hair. 0:00:33.247 --> 0:00:35.407 And if you can't find a hair tie, You're right. 0:00:35.527 --> 0:00:38.607 I have used not being able to find a tampole. 0:00:38.607 --> 0:00:39.207 That's the worst. 0:00:42.807 --> 0:00:46.807 Hello and welcome to Mama Mia out Loud. Today is Friday, 0:00:46.927 --> 0:00:49.727 the first of November, and with the weekends so close, 0:00:49.887 --> 0:00:52.567 we're leaving the news cycle behind to spin itself into 0:00:52.647 --> 0:00:55.287 it stressed out frenzy and talk about other stuff. But 0:00:55.367 --> 0:00:57.327 before we begin, we've had a lot of new listeners 0:00:57.367 --> 0:00:59.007 and too the group chat recently, so allow us to 0:00:59.007 --> 0:01:01.007 introduce ourselves to My name is Holly Wayne Wright. 0:01:01.527 --> 0:01:07.567 Who are you though? Who am I question? I'm me 0:01:07.687 --> 0:01:10.047 a Friedman. I'm the co founder of mom and Mia 0:01:10.287 --> 0:01:11.887 and some other things. 0:01:12.287 --> 0:01:16.047 Okay, I'm Emily Vernon. I usually host our daily entertainment podcast, 0:01:16.047 --> 0:01:17.847 A Spill, but I'm filling in for Jesse today. 0:01:17.927 --> 0:01:18.847 What's your job title? 0:01:18.927 --> 0:01:21.727 Here I say writer and podcaster, but I kind of 0:01:21.727 --> 0:01:22.647 gave it to myself. 0:01:22.767 --> 0:01:25.607 We could all have writer and podcasts. Actually, I make 0:01:25.727 --> 0:01:29.367 up a different title most weeks, even at very different stages. 0:01:29.367 --> 0:01:31.567 We could all be writer and podcaster. I noticed in 0:01:31.607 --> 0:01:34.927 my auto signature it said I was creative director. But 0:01:35.007 --> 0:01:35.887 someone else says. 0:01:35.767 --> 0:01:41.927 That, Trot, you aren't you co founder and head of what? 0:01:42.167 --> 0:01:44.327 Now? I'm just co founder, head of creating Happy? 0:01:44.887 --> 0:01:49.407 Okay, She's very important anyway. On the show today, what 0:01:49.927 --> 0:01:54.167 are officially the happiest and least happy decades of our lives? 0:01:54.247 --> 0:01:58.047 And why that whole question is a croc. Also recommendations 0:01:58.047 --> 0:02:00.567 for your weekend and beyond, including the book that might 0:02:00.607 --> 0:02:03.367 finally change my life, em Who's got something to help 0:02:03.407 --> 0:02:05.407 you do your hair? And me has actually got a 0:02:05.487 --> 0:02:09.887 whole list of recommendations for us today and our best 0:02:09.887 --> 0:02:12.607 and worst of the week, which include a Gwyneth update 0:02:12.687 --> 0:02:16.847 from me, AM's got another complaint about working, and Mia 0:02:17.007 --> 0:02:18.407 hadn't encounter with a coproat. 0:02:18.527 --> 0:02:22.327 But first, Mayor Friedman, I have to tell you, in 0:02:22.327 --> 0:02:24.647 case you missed it, that there is a common rental 0:02:24.687 --> 0:02:29.967 behavior that is dividing households. Millennial households and it's also 0:02:30.007 --> 0:02:33.607 divining the internet. After there was a post on the 0:02:33.767 --> 0:02:38.487 Reddit thread oz property chat which sounds riveting, should be 0:02:38.527 --> 0:02:40.407 hanging out there more often. It got a lot of 0:02:40.447 --> 0:02:43.367 traction this post, and the dilemma was this. It was 0:02:43.407 --> 0:02:46.807 a man who posted that the head renter in the 0:02:46.847 --> 0:02:50.687 sharehouse where he lived had sent him a WhatsApp message 0:02:50.807 --> 0:02:55.487 after noticing that this guy's partner had been spending more 0:02:55.527 --> 0:03:00.207 time at their sharehouse than before. And the message said 0:03:00.567 --> 0:03:03.607 two day rule for partners. Third day you pay for 0:03:03.687 --> 0:03:08.047 a week's rent. Please pay the extra week of rent. 0:03:08.087 --> 0:03:11.727 I hope you understand that it costs me money. The 0:03:11.807 --> 0:03:16.287 poster then asked the forum if this is allowed Before 0:03:16.407 --> 0:03:19.487 hundreds of people gave their opinions, because that's how the 0:03:19.487 --> 0:03:22.247 Internet works. Now, before we get to those, I just 0:03:22.287 --> 0:03:24.327 want to go the opinions that I care about more, 0:03:24.367 --> 0:03:26.367 the opinions of the out louders. And we did our 0:03:26.407 --> 0:03:30.007 own poll. Sixty four percent of you said that if 0:03:30.007 --> 0:03:32.527 a partner is staying over for long periods, they should 0:03:32.527 --> 0:03:37.327 contribute to bills like water electricity in the internet. Ten 0:03:37.367 --> 0:03:40.007 percent of you said the partner is not living there, 0:03:40.087 --> 0:03:43.047 so they should never have to pay. An eleven percent 0:03:43.247 --> 0:03:46.567 said it's perfectly fair for a partner to have to 0:03:46.607 --> 0:03:52.567 contribute after two days. What do you live alone, don't you? 0:03:52.687 --> 0:03:55.447 I live alone. I used to have a housemaid, but 0:03:55.487 --> 0:03:57.447 I never had this particular issue. 0:03:57.607 --> 0:03:59.407 She got a boyfriend while you were living together. 0:03:59.447 --> 0:04:01.447 You started got a two a friend on the last 0:04:01.487 --> 0:04:04.447 day of us living together. So we never had I mean, 0:04:04.567 --> 0:04:06.647 we had like guys over that we were dating for 0:04:06.687 --> 0:04:08.567 a long period of time, but never like more than 0:04:08.767 --> 0:04:09.207 three days. 0:04:09.287 --> 0:04:10.567 It's three days in a row. 0:04:11.047 --> 0:04:12.927 Yeah, actually not even like it would literally be one 0:04:13.047 --> 0:04:15.247 night and then we'd see him like next week and 0:04:15.287 --> 0:04:17.207 I'd be like, hey, Billy, and she'd have to be like, 0:04:17.367 --> 0:04:19.607 his name's not Billy, And I'm like, oh, I don't. 0:04:19.687 --> 0:04:21.767 That's quite awkward when it's your house, isn't it, because 0:04:21.767 --> 0:04:23.847 you can't sort of maybe come out if you live 0:04:23.927 --> 0:04:26.407 you know, maybe no top on or maybe I don't know. 0:04:26.647 --> 0:04:28.247 I do think about nude households. 0:04:28.327 --> 0:04:30.807 There's a difference between being in a share house of 0:04:30.847 --> 0:04:33.247 four people and one of those four gets like a 0:04:33.287 --> 0:04:36.487 partner and it becomes five versus just having one house mate. 0:04:36.687 --> 0:04:38.607 Like I feel like you would feel the difference more 0:04:38.767 --> 0:04:41.287 like going from two to three versus four to five. 0:04:42.087 --> 0:04:45.447 I've lived through this many times, many times, Like obviously 0:04:45.487 --> 0:04:46.847 not for a long time, but I lived in a 0:04:46.847 --> 0:04:49.287 lot of shared houses for a lot of years. The 0:04:49.287 --> 0:04:51.887 biggest was six for years and years I lived in 0:04:51.927 --> 0:04:55.887 one with four. And I think that this everybody getting 0:04:55.927 --> 0:04:58.967 very incensed about this is just passive aggressive because it's 0:04:59.007 --> 0:05:02.287 not actually about the electricity and the water, Like it's 0:05:02.327 --> 0:05:05.767 not really that likely that that one person being there 0:05:05.767 --> 0:05:08.847 and having a shower quick shower every morning is really 0:05:09.007 --> 0:05:10.207 like impacting your water. 0:05:10.007 --> 0:05:12.567 Bill that much. What it's about is the mill don't 0:05:12.567 --> 0:05:14.927 want you here? Oh no, sorry, I mean sorry, I 0:05:14.967 --> 0:05:18.087 agree with you. But it's also the milk, the bread. 0:05:18.287 --> 0:05:20.967 But it's not, though, because what if they're not the 0:05:21.007 --> 0:05:24.287 problem with making it about money is I could easily say, 0:05:24.927 --> 0:05:27.527 Betty's coming over, but she won't use our milk, she 0:05:27.567 --> 0:05:29.967 won't use our blah blah blah, Like it's not about that. 0:05:30.047 --> 0:05:32.207 It's about the fact that they didn't sign up to 0:05:32.247 --> 0:05:34.527 live with Betty and suddenly they appear to be living 0:05:34.527 --> 0:05:37.167 with Betty. And so I think that making it all 0:05:37.207 --> 0:05:39.607 about the money, and I'm not pretending that money isn't important. 0:05:39.647 --> 0:05:41.847 But making it all about the money is almost like 0:05:41.887 --> 0:05:44.607 a passag like him saying more than three days, they 0:05:44.647 --> 0:05:47.047 pay a whole week's rent. That doesn't even make sense, 0:05:47.207 --> 0:05:48.767 do you know what I mean? Like, so, it's not 0:05:48.807 --> 0:05:51.927 about the money. What it's about is get your boyfriend's 0:05:51.967 --> 0:05:54.247 last girlfriend out of my living room, which. 0:05:54.087 --> 0:05:54.967 Is relatively fair. 0:05:55.007 --> 0:05:58.087 It is fair because you said you didn't sign up 0:05:58.127 --> 0:06:00.287 to live with them. Oh, if it's can you move in? 0:06:00.327 --> 0:06:01.287 That's a whole other thing. 0:06:01.647 --> 0:06:02.407 And I did that. 0:06:02.527 --> 0:06:06.047 I move boyfriends into shared houses, maybe only once. That's 0:06:06.087 --> 0:06:09.487 one of those awful conversations where you're like really stealing yourself. Like, 0:06:09.687 --> 0:06:13.407 so I was thinking, how did you picture Martin's been 0:06:13.487 --> 0:06:15.527 kicked out of his house or his rent lease is 0:06:15.607 --> 0:06:17.807 up and he's going traveling soon. That was always the story, 0:06:17.847 --> 0:06:20.127 you know, going traveling soon. So it would only be 0:06:20.167 --> 0:06:22.847 for a few months, and then they would obviously if 0:06:22.847 --> 0:06:25.487 they're moving in, then they contribute to the rent and everything. 0:06:25.527 --> 0:06:27.407 Of course they do, But then you get the arguments 0:06:27.447 --> 0:06:29.807 should you pay doubles, should you pay a little bit more? 0:06:29.887 --> 0:06:33.127 Like it's very thorny, but it nearly always really is 0:06:33.167 --> 0:06:35.567 about the person and the sharing of the space with 0:06:35.647 --> 0:06:36.007 the person. 0:06:36.087 --> 0:06:38.247 It's really nigli, isn't it. Because I was living with 0:06:38.407 --> 0:06:40.687 a couple of girlfriends and one of them had their 0:06:40.727 --> 0:06:44.167 boyfriend over a lot, and suddenly we didn't really want 0:06:44.207 --> 0:06:46.847 to share a bathroom with a man, like we wanted 0:06:46.847 --> 0:06:48.327 to be able to be able to come in and 0:06:48.367 --> 0:06:51.167 out of the shower in a towel. Or suddenly when 0:06:51.167 --> 0:06:54.047 everybody's getting ready for work in the morning, there's also 0:06:54.327 --> 0:06:56.647 a guy, and guys take a long time in the bathroom. 0:06:56.687 --> 0:06:58.287 I don't know what's wrong with their bowels, but what 0:06:58.447 --> 0:06:58.727 is that? 0:06:58.847 --> 0:07:00.487 No, they go on their phones when they're on the 0:07:00.487 --> 0:07:03.927 toilets and they sit there and like, yeah, they forever. 0:07:04.047 --> 0:07:06.247 I would have thought that these issues would be different now, 0:07:06.327 --> 0:07:09.607 because when I was in shared houses, it was thing 0:07:09.647 --> 0:07:11.367 of like what was on the telly? 0:07:11.407 --> 0:07:13.087 Everyone had to watch it, do you know what I mean? 0:07:13.167 --> 0:07:15.287 So those were often like the kind of things you'd 0:07:15.367 --> 0:07:17.887 argue about is like someone had come home and like 0:07:18.167 --> 0:07:21.927 me and Betty are watching Survivor. Whereas now everyone can 0:07:22.007 --> 0:07:25.367 just live their separate lives. It's not so much communal time. 0:07:25.407 --> 0:07:26.807 It's still annoys people knowing. 0:07:26.607 --> 0:07:29.167 There's nothing worse than coming into your kitchen, like in 0:07:29.207 --> 0:07:32.287 your underwear after like a big night, wanting to get 0:07:32.287 --> 0:07:34.167 your panel when a hangout and there's like a man 0:07:34.207 --> 0:07:36.127 sitting on your couch or a stranger. 0:07:37.087 --> 0:07:39.807 People study happiness. I think we know that, right, But 0:07:39.847 --> 0:07:42.127 I'm going to suggest that all or some of the 0:07:42.127 --> 0:07:44.847 funding that goes to working out exactly what year of 0:07:44.847 --> 0:07:48.207 your life might be the happiest, what decade, what moment, etc. 0:07:48.887 --> 0:07:52.887 Could be redirected to something actually useful, like a laundry 0:07:52.927 --> 0:07:55.087 folding robot. I was going to say, but you're much 0:07:55.127 --> 0:07:56.847 more worthy with your cancer suggestions. 0:07:56.887 --> 0:07:59.567 Some of us care about you know, people. 0:07:59.567 --> 0:08:03.287 Help because I just read a piece about your happiest 0:08:03.327 --> 0:08:07.247 decade based on research, and I say it's full of BS, 0:08:07.247 --> 0:08:09.807 but let's get to it. According to this article in 0:08:09.847 --> 0:08:12.487 The Guardian by Sophie Brickman, she's citing research. By the way, 0:08:12.527 --> 0:08:14.607 I'm not suggesting for a minute that she's full of BS. 0:08:14.727 --> 0:08:17.407 She's not basing it on vibes. She's basing it on research. 0:08:18.167 --> 0:08:22.567 Your forties are your least happy decade. Your least happy 0:08:22.727 --> 0:08:26.327 year is exactly forty seven point two. 0:08:26.407 --> 0:08:27.007 Interesting. 0:08:27.527 --> 0:08:29.847 One of the reasons cited for this in this research. 0:08:29.887 --> 0:08:33.407 Of course, it's all about family, dependent kids, aging parents, 0:08:33.447 --> 0:08:35.487 a lack of time to yourself for self care, and 0:08:35.527 --> 0:08:38.487 so on and so on. This information has sent younger 0:08:38.527 --> 0:08:40.727 millennials and Gen zs into a bit of a tizzy 0:08:41.007 --> 0:08:43.527 because the idea that happiness is you shaped, which is 0:08:43.567 --> 0:08:45.967 something that a lot of the happiness researchers have found. 0:08:46.047 --> 0:08:48.567 The idea that you start off happy, then you get 0:08:48.607 --> 0:08:51.407 really fucking miserable, and then you end up happy again 0:08:51.887 --> 0:08:54.447 is causing dread. Now I'm going to tell you why 0:08:54.447 --> 0:08:56.607 I think it's nonsense in a little bit, but first 0:08:56.607 --> 0:08:59.207 I need to hear from you two m Does hearing 0:08:59.287 --> 0:09:01.247 this make you not want to grow up? 0:09:01.567 --> 0:09:06.127 Yes? Because in my head I always thought thirty six 0:09:06.447 --> 0:09:07.847 was meant to be my year. 0:09:08.127 --> 0:09:12.287 Why it's a rangel number? What's going to happen in 0:09:12.327 --> 0:09:12.807 that year? 0:09:12.967 --> 0:09:17.367 Thirty six is the year where I am married. I 0:09:17.407 --> 0:09:20.967 don't have kids yet, but I have a big house, and. 0:09:21.647 --> 0:09:24.127 I don't I would. I think you should probably have 0:09:24.247 --> 0:09:26.727 kids by thirty six. No, I wasn't laughing about that. 0:09:26.767 --> 0:09:28.807 I was just like, how we wear's this big house 0:09:28.847 --> 0:09:30.967 in the marriage and all this grown up life coming. 0:09:31.087 --> 0:09:32.887 I might be working part time here because I know 0:09:32.887 --> 0:09:36.647 that's quite easy. I just be like living like with 0:09:36.687 --> 0:09:38.247 all my friends and family, will have them over for 0:09:38.287 --> 0:09:39.727 dinner parties, Like that's my. 0:09:39.767 --> 0:09:41.527 Year and still feeling you say it is like a 0:09:41.647 --> 0:09:42.727 proper grown up year. 0:09:43.167 --> 0:09:45.287 Yeah, it's like the year where I feel like I 0:09:45.327 --> 0:09:46.807 have my shit together by then. 0:09:48.047 --> 0:09:50.047 So when you read this, the fact that that will 0:09:50.087 --> 0:09:52.647 just put you on the precipice of misery, does that 0:09:52.727 --> 0:09:53.567 make you worry? 0:09:53.687 --> 0:09:55.647 It makes me sad because she also said that, like, 0:09:55.647 --> 0:09:58.327 happiness is like the U shape, where like it goes 0:09:58.407 --> 0:10:02.167 down at forty seven point two. So I'm assuming that 0:10:02.247 --> 0:10:02.847 I'm meant. 0:10:02.687 --> 0:10:04.527 To be up right now. Yeah, You're meant to be 0:10:04.567 --> 0:10:06.527 really happy right now. So it only gets worse from 0:10:06.527 --> 0:10:07.847 here living your best life. 0:10:07.887 --> 0:10:10.647 So is it because we both have been forty seven 0:10:10.687 --> 0:10:11.367 point two. 0:10:11.247 --> 0:10:14.927 We have, I guess ideally, which is good news for 0:10:14.967 --> 0:10:17.127 Holly and I. You want to look at that number 0:10:17.447 --> 0:10:19.127 and you want it to be in the review mirror 0:10:19.687 --> 0:10:22.487 and you want to say, Okay, I'm on the upward trajectory. 0:10:22.967 --> 0:10:26.287 What's interesting about that number is that I think it 0:10:26.367 --> 0:10:30.847 correlates with the if you have children and parents in 0:10:30.887 --> 0:10:34.287 your life, that the needs put upon you by other 0:10:34.367 --> 0:10:38.607 people are at their highest and they're knock on effective. 0:10:38.607 --> 0:10:41.567 That is financial pressure. A lot of people want shit 0:10:41.687 --> 0:10:45.527 from you. Right. Your children might not be little, but 0:10:45.647 --> 0:10:47.847 there's this myth that as they get older they need 0:10:47.847 --> 0:10:50.367 you less. That actually needs you more. The stakes are 0:10:50.367 --> 0:10:53.367 a bit higher as they get older, so there's a 0:10:53.407 --> 0:10:56.567 lot to be done when they're really you know, at 0:10:56.567 --> 0:11:00.407 that kind of age. I've bucked this a little bit 0:11:00.567 --> 0:11:05.887 because my parents had me young. I had my first 0:11:05.967 --> 0:11:08.967 child young, and he had his first child young. So 0:11:09.327 --> 0:11:11.967 I have always been out of step with my peers, 0:11:12.007 --> 0:11:13.807 and I'm still out of step with my peers because 0:11:13.807 --> 0:11:16.967 now at fifty three, I've got a grandchild and my 0:11:17.127 --> 0:11:20.727 kids are grown up, except for my youngest who's sixteen, 0:11:20.767 --> 0:11:23.167 but because he's a third child, he may as well 0:11:23.207 --> 0:11:26.007 be twenty five, like he learnt to sort himself out 0:11:26.007 --> 0:11:28.727 a long time ago. And I'm fortunate enough that my 0:11:28.887 --> 0:11:33.567 parents touch Wood are eighty but in great shape, and 0:11:33.607 --> 0:11:37.607 so my parents in law. So I think what's interesting. 0:11:37.727 --> 0:11:42.527 Jennifer Anniston said that I always I've. 0:11:42.367 --> 0:11:44.967 Got the great ex philosophy. 0:11:45.207 --> 0:11:49.567 Forget Yoda, It's all always about jen jan Anne. She 0:11:49.807 --> 0:11:52.407 said that you need to have therapy in your thirties 0:11:52.407 --> 0:11:56.207 so that you can enjoy your forties. Her father died, 0:11:56.247 --> 0:11:59.247 she was estranger from her mother. She didn't have children 0:11:59.367 --> 0:12:01.847 in her forties. She's now well into her fifties, probably 0:12:01.847 --> 0:12:05.967 her late fifties, and she had therapy, So I imagine that 0:12:06.127 --> 0:12:08.207 for her, and she spoke about this when she was 0:12:08.247 --> 0:12:11.127 in her forties. That's of her life advice. And I 0:12:11.167 --> 0:12:13.127 actually agree with that. I think that if you haven't 0:12:13.287 --> 0:12:16.487 sorted your shit out in your thirties, your forties are 0:12:16.607 --> 0:12:17.327 really hard. 0:12:17.567 --> 0:12:20.167 I just think the very notion that there's a point 0:12:20.167 --> 0:12:22.287 at which you've sorted all your shit out is nonsense. 0:12:22.327 --> 0:12:24.687 No, I don't mean, of course, there's always more shit. 0:12:24.927 --> 0:12:26.807 I got to say, tell me, is there no shit 0:12:26.887 --> 0:12:29.327 left by the time fifty? Which is a reminder to 0:12:29.447 --> 0:12:31.927 go back to therapy for me? But there's new shit. 0:12:32.047 --> 0:12:35.407 But I mean they're very much building block decades, thirties 0:12:35.407 --> 0:12:37.807 and forties. And I think that a lot of decisions 0:12:37.807 --> 0:12:41.047 you make in your thirties inform your forties. And I 0:12:41.087 --> 0:12:46.527 think understanding yourself well, certainly, if you've made bad decisions, 0:12:46.607 --> 0:12:48.647 and don't we all, and you've got patterns that you 0:12:48.727 --> 0:12:53.127 keep repeating to understand those in your thirties is really 0:12:53.167 --> 0:12:54.407 helpful in your forties. 0:12:54.887 --> 0:12:58.247 I think these kind of studies directly affect our happiness, right, 0:12:58.287 --> 0:13:03.247 because the very idea that there is a destination, like 0:13:03.367 --> 0:13:05.687 happiness is a destination and you're going to get there 0:13:05.727 --> 0:13:06.727 and you're going to stay there. 0:13:06.847 --> 0:13:08.247 It's absolute nonsense. 0:13:08.647 --> 0:13:11.287 And the older and wiser you get, the more you 0:13:11.367 --> 0:13:14.647 realize that there are pockets in every year, in every 0:13:14.687 --> 0:13:17.167 decade of absolute joy, absolute despair. 0:13:17.287 --> 0:13:19.247 Of course absolute this isn't. 0:13:19.047 --> 0:13:21.727 But my point is so chasing down and giving people 0:13:22.007 --> 0:13:24.367 data about like, yeah, you're not going to be happy 0:13:24.407 --> 0:13:27.607 in your thirties. M. You know you're not going to 0:13:27.607 --> 0:13:30.087 be happy in your forties. Maybe you'll finally get happy 0:13:30.087 --> 0:13:33.047 in your fifties. Especially in the endless, first for information 0:13:33.127 --> 0:13:35.887 world we live in, I think it's really stupid. Well, 0:13:35.927 --> 0:13:39.207 it's different for everybody, and you only know what your 0:13:39.247 --> 0:13:43.327 decade was to generalize over a decade in the rearview mirror, 0:13:43.447 --> 0:13:46.447 like M can't possibly know she might have peaked. I 0:13:47.327 --> 0:13:49.767 don't even think there's such a thing as the happiest decade. 0:13:49.807 --> 0:13:52.127 I think that you've got to stop thinking that there 0:13:52.207 --> 0:13:54.487 is a place where you will sit or like there 0:13:54.527 --> 0:13:57.327 are little bits of happiness in the shittiest times in 0:13:57.367 --> 0:13:58.007 the good times. 0:13:58.687 --> 0:14:00.087 Twenty eight how's. 0:13:59.887 --> 0:14:02.767 Your twenties been horrible? How are your team? Why are 0:14:02.767 --> 0:14:03.407 they horrible? 0:14:03.767 --> 0:14:06.487 I just feel like twenties feel like I'm in like 0:14:06.527 --> 0:14:07.767 my waiting phase. 0:14:08.047 --> 0:14:09.687 A lot of pressure in your twenties, I think. 0:14:09.767 --> 0:14:12.407 And then thirty is meant to be where I start 0:14:12.487 --> 0:14:14.927 sorting everything out and then everything will sort out. Like 0:14:15.007 --> 0:14:16.847 if I could, just, like tomorrow wake up as a 0:14:16.847 --> 0:14:18.007 thirty year old, I'd want that. 0:14:18.567 --> 0:14:21.207 What would you? Yeah, what's the point of wishing your 0:14:21.247 --> 0:14:21.807 life away? 0:14:22.047 --> 0:14:25.007 Or thinking like, rather than going okay, so today, I 0:14:25.007 --> 0:14:26.887 could do some things that would make me happy, Like 0:14:26.967 --> 0:14:30.287 I think it's a very specific view that like if 0:14:30.327 --> 0:14:33.207 we always think that we're never quite there, I'm never 0:14:33.327 --> 0:14:36.767 quite there. I'm not at my happiest yet that directly 0:14:36.807 --> 0:14:37.767 affects your happiness. 0:14:37.767 --> 0:14:40.447 Because this is not a recipe or a blueprint. This 0:14:40.607 --> 0:14:44.207 is just an observation from a whole lot of people 0:14:44.487 --> 0:14:49.207 that have been asked to self assess the decade of 0:14:49.207 --> 0:14:51.127 their life that was the best and the worst. I 0:14:51.687 --> 0:14:54.647 could do that, though. What I think is interesting about this, 0:14:54.727 --> 0:14:57.327 and of course it doesn't apply to everybody, but is 0:14:57.767 --> 0:15:00.647 to just understand the meaning behind it, because you know, 0:15:00.687 --> 0:15:04.527 we talk about seasons, and some seasons you expect them 0:15:04.567 --> 0:15:06.887 to be great, and they're actually tougher than you think. 0:15:06.967 --> 0:15:09.967 And women are always interested in this season that's coming 0:15:10.007 --> 0:15:13.447 up for them. You know, if you are single, you 0:15:13.447 --> 0:15:15.007 want to know what it's like maybe to be married. 0:15:15.007 --> 0:15:16.487 If you're married, maybe you want to know what it's 0:15:16.527 --> 0:15:18.687 like to be divorced. You know, if you've got one child, 0:15:18.687 --> 0:15:20.167 you'll know what it's like to have two children. And 0:15:20.567 --> 0:15:21.927 you want to know what it's like to have teenagers 0:15:21.927 --> 0:15:24.447 when you kids are small. And so I just think 0:15:24.527 --> 0:15:28.167 that it's not a guarantee that this decade will be bad, 0:15:28.647 --> 0:15:31.847 but it's just made me think that for women, and 0:15:31.887 --> 0:15:34.407 I'd be so interested to know if it was different 0:15:34.407 --> 0:15:38.367 for men. For women, the less people you have depending 0:15:38.407 --> 0:15:42.007 on you in a caring role, the happier you are. 0:15:42.127 --> 0:15:45.327 That's why women's happiness tends to go up the older. 0:15:45.367 --> 0:15:48.847 And I think we're sold such bad news about growing 0:15:48.847 --> 0:15:51.167 older and that you know, oh, you've got to be 0:15:51.207 --> 0:15:52.727 in your twenties and you've got you know, we're in 0:15:52.727 --> 0:15:56.367 this culture that values youth above all else, particularly physically 0:15:57.207 --> 0:16:00.687 that it's actually lovely to think that things get happier. 0:16:00.727 --> 0:16:03.207 But I think it's not good for happiness to always 0:16:03.207 --> 0:16:05.207 think you're in a waiting room. Like I think that 0:16:05.207 --> 0:16:07.047 that's the problem, is if you always think I'm in 0:16:07.047 --> 0:16:09.047 a waiting room and things are going to be different. 0:16:09.047 --> 0:16:12.327 Because what you said before about assessing in hindsight is 0:16:12.367 --> 0:16:15.487 so true, right, But even that shifts because I had 0:16:15.487 --> 0:16:17.687 my kids later. So again, as you've already said with 0:16:17.727 --> 0:16:19.727 your anecdote, like this is kind of bullshit because that 0:16:19.767 --> 0:16:21.367 all can depend on different times. 0:16:21.447 --> 0:16:21.647 Right. 0:16:22.007 --> 0:16:27.367 So my forties I had little kids, incredibly incredibly difficult decade. 0:16:27.607 --> 0:16:27.807 Right. 0:16:28.527 --> 0:16:31.687 But the thing is is that I know now all 0:16:31.727 --> 0:16:33.847 the joy that was in that that I will miss 0:16:33.847 --> 0:16:35.927 for the rest of my life. I will look back 0:16:35.967 --> 0:16:38.287 at those years for the rest of my life and 0:16:38.327 --> 0:16:40.207 the pockets of joy that I had even though it 0:16:40.247 --> 0:16:43.207 was hard, and I won't think it was my unhappiest decade, 0:16:43.367 --> 0:16:46.887 so that I haven't. I think there have been shit 0:16:47.007 --> 0:16:51.847 years in all my decades, really stressful, difficult times, really beautiful, 0:16:51.847 --> 0:16:55.287 glorious times. I know it's unpopular not to just slot 0:16:55.287 --> 0:16:57.007 into a like well, let's just say it's it but 0:16:57.087 --> 0:17:01.047 I think that genuinely you're happier if you think that 0:17:01.127 --> 0:17:04.047 you can find happiness all the time, little bits of 0:17:04.087 --> 0:17:07.607 it like today, tomorrow, next week, but not go I'm 0:17:07.687 --> 0:17:09.447 living in a ship world right now, and it's going 0:17:09.487 --> 0:17:11.047 to be better when when I lose weight, when I 0:17:11.047 --> 0:17:12.727 get that job, when I meet a partner, when I 0:17:12.727 --> 0:17:15.247 buy my house. When that is the thing that keeps 0:17:15.287 --> 0:17:18.167 you unhappy, Yeah, that's interesting. I just don't think that's 0:17:18.207 --> 0:17:20.407 what this survey says to me. I think it's just 0:17:20.487 --> 0:17:24.247 interesting looking at different phases. And of course it's not 0:17:24.447 --> 0:17:28.247 like when you generalize about a decade. I think for 0:17:28.327 --> 0:17:31.807 women particularly, you know who you are more as you 0:17:31.847 --> 0:17:35.047 get older. And I think maybe it's the word happy 0:17:35.287 --> 0:17:41.447 that's tripping you up. If it was like challenging or difficult, 0:17:42.607 --> 0:17:44.487 I don't know, you don't like being put into boxing. 0:17:44.687 --> 0:17:48.047 But I also don't think it's I just think that 0:17:48.087 --> 0:17:51.127 there's too much emphasis on this. As I say that 0:17:51.207 --> 0:17:53.327 happiness is a place you'll get to one day, I 0:17:53.327 --> 0:17:53.807 don't think that. 0:17:53.927 --> 0:17:57.287 And when you think about the next few decades of 0:17:57.327 --> 0:18:00.527 your life, how do you kind of imagine them rolling out? Well, 0:18:00.567 --> 0:18:02.287 when she's thirty seven, she's going to have her big 0:18:02.327 --> 0:18:04.127 house and I'm thirty six. 0:18:04.447 --> 0:18:08.727 My big house and my husband. I genuinely don't know 0:18:08.887 --> 0:18:11.127 my big I guess complex from my age right now 0:18:11.287 --> 0:18:14.567 is because my mom had me when she was twenty eight, 0:18:15.087 --> 0:18:17.927 and I'm the oldest child. And since I was young, 0:18:18.567 --> 0:18:22.367 I've always had especially from early twenties, I've always been like, 0:18:22.647 --> 0:18:24.167 oh my god, do I need a boyfriend? Should I 0:18:24.167 --> 0:18:25.887 get a boyfriend? Now? When do I have kids? And 0:18:25.887 --> 0:18:27.927 my Mom's like, don't worry because I was old for 0:18:27.967 --> 0:18:29.887 my age to have kids. I was only twenty eight 0:18:29.927 --> 0:18:32.567 and now I'm twenty eight, and she's like, stop stressing, 0:18:32.567 --> 0:18:35.007 Like I can feel you stressing. Don't stress, Like, yeah, 0:18:35.047 --> 0:18:36.927 I feel bad now that I sattle. Thirty six is 0:18:36.927 --> 0:18:39.687 too technically kids yet if you want them. But I 0:18:39.727 --> 0:18:45.287 think I was like really looking forward to my forties because. 0:18:45.087 --> 0:18:47.887 I until you read this article, until I've read this article, 0:18:48.127 --> 0:18:50.047 Olly's right, it's made you unhappy. 0:18:49.727 --> 0:18:52.767 Because I loved watching my parents in their forties, Like 0:18:52.807 --> 0:18:56.167 I remember those years so clearly. I remember them just 0:18:56.207 --> 0:18:58.767 having so much fun and surely like they would have 0:18:58.767 --> 0:19:01.007 been so stressed behind the scenes, but me and my 0:19:01.047 --> 0:19:03.687 sister never saw it. And they were just so much fun. 0:19:03.807 --> 0:19:05.887 And I talked about this last week about now I'm 0:19:05.927 --> 0:19:09.247 seeing my parents' age, but in my head when I picked, 0:19:09.447 --> 0:19:11.727 my parents are in their forties, like taking us out, 0:19:11.767 --> 0:19:13.247 going to parks, like having fun. 0:19:13.567 --> 0:19:18.527 That's so interesting. I hated my twenties. I'm very happy 0:19:18.567 --> 0:19:21.687 to make generalizations about decades because I like boxes and leaderboards. 0:19:23.367 --> 0:19:25.927 Times I reckon, wait, but that's not what this is. 0:19:26.047 --> 0:19:29.767 This is looking at a decade and generalizing about a decade. 0:19:30.007 --> 0:19:32.687 So for me, I really struggled in my twenties. I 0:19:32.727 --> 0:19:34.767 separated from my husband, lost a baby, didn't know who 0:19:34.807 --> 0:19:38.527 I was, was undiagnosed with all sorts of things. And 0:19:39.167 --> 0:19:41.647 I had a really, really difficult time in my twenties 0:19:41.687 --> 0:19:44.127 for a whole bunch of reasons that I only understood 0:19:44.127 --> 0:19:47.167 once I started going to therapy properly and addressed a 0:19:47.207 --> 0:19:49.807 bunch of things in my late twenties early thirties when 0:19:49.847 --> 0:19:53.927 my life essentially fell apart in my twenties. My thirties 0:19:53.967 --> 0:19:57.127 were about consolidation, a little bit more kind of working 0:19:57.127 --> 0:19:59.847 out who I was, but still all of those big 0:19:59.887 --> 0:20:02.847 decisions like how many kids to have, who's my partner, 0:20:02.887 --> 0:20:06.647 getting back with Jason, not whatever. And then I loved 0:20:06.647 --> 0:20:09.647 my forties. I really did. I've loved my forties and 0:20:09.687 --> 0:20:12.407 I'm loving my fifties. It's interesting and it's going to 0:20:12.447 --> 0:20:14.367 be different for everybody, you know, just in the same 0:20:14.367 --> 0:20:17.607 way that not everybody is the average height or whatever 0:20:17.767 --> 0:20:20.727 the average age. Can you not generalize about any of 0:20:20.767 --> 0:20:24.047 your decades when you kind of look at them as seasons. 0:20:24.687 --> 0:20:26.567 Didn't mean that I hate it every day that I 0:20:26.607 --> 0:20:30.007 was twenty, but just as a decade. I understand the concept. 0:20:30.007 --> 0:20:31.367 It's not that I don't understand the concept. 0:20:31.487 --> 0:20:35.287 I just generally think that it's not helpful because, yeah, 0:20:35.527 --> 0:20:38.647 my twenties, all of that craziness and a lot of 0:20:38.647 --> 0:20:40.767 shit happened to me in my twenties two there were 0:20:40.807 --> 0:20:43.727 also amazing adventures that turn my life in the direction 0:20:43.807 --> 0:20:45.967 that it's gone in. So I could not possibly say 0:20:46.927 --> 0:20:48.887 that I was miserable. I was miserable some of it. 0:20:49.487 --> 0:20:49.847 I don't know. 0:20:49.887 --> 0:20:52.687 I just don't see it that way, And I think 0:20:52.727 --> 0:20:56.087 for me that's helped me because I don't. And aging 0:20:56.167 --> 0:20:59.367 has really changed my view on happiness. I used to 0:20:59.367 --> 0:21:01.367 think much more like that about it, like there's a 0:21:01.407 --> 0:21:03.367 place and I'll get there. And if I make these 0:21:03.447 --> 0:21:06.407 changes in my life, everything will fall into place and 0:21:06.447 --> 0:21:09.807 it will be great. And I think wisdom hards for life. 0:21:09.807 --> 0:21:11.567 Wisdom has taught me that that's not true. 0:21:11.847 --> 0:21:15.847 I get confused on the phrase figuring out who you are. 0:21:17.367 --> 0:21:19.367 I don't know what that means. I don't know what 0:21:19.407 --> 0:21:20.527 that means for me. 0:21:20.967 --> 0:21:25.247 It's about understanding why I like certain things, why I 0:21:25.287 --> 0:21:30.607 respond in certain ways, why I don't feel right in 0:21:30.847 --> 0:21:34.407 certain situations where other people seem to feel right to me. 0:21:34.527 --> 0:21:38.567 It's about undoing the shoulds, the shoulds of life, and 0:21:38.607 --> 0:21:43.127 that's definitely something that makes you happier. Yeah, it's going, oh, 0:21:43.247 --> 0:21:47.527 everyone likes parties. I don't like parties. It's not because 0:21:47.527 --> 0:21:52.207 I'm broken or because I'm abnormal. It's because that drains 0:21:52.247 --> 0:21:55.207 my battery. And I understand and then going, oh, what 0:21:55.327 --> 0:22:00.007 feels my battery and learning about that. And maybe you 0:22:00.367 --> 0:22:03.007 can do that at any age, but there's a certain 0:22:03.007 --> 0:22:06.527 amount of you just need life experience to be able 0:22:06.567 --> 0:22:09.287 to look in the review mirror and understand yourself a 0:22:09.287 --> 0:22:10.807 little bit better. Does that make sense? 0:22:10.847 --> 0:22:13.087 I think that's why I'm not enjoying my twenties, because 0:22:13.087 --> 0:22:15.447 I feel like I'm still at that age where I 0:22:15.487 --> 0:22:18.287 still have to do things that I don't necessarily want 0:22:18.327 --> 0:22:19.487 to do, like I still. 0:22:19.287 --> 0:22:24.527 Have sticking around for a long time. But if you've 0:22:24.567 --> 0:22:27.167 worked out what you do and don't like, you know, 0:22:27.367 --> 0:22:30.527 or how you respond or you know. Sometimes it can 0:22:30.567 --> 0:22:32.887 be about the romantic partners that you choose. Sometimes it 0:22:32.887 --> 0:22:34.927 can be about patterns you're in with friends or with 0:22:35.447 --> 0:22:37.287 you know. It took me a long time, for example, 0:22:37.327 --> 0:22:42.127 to work out that I fall in love with people friendships, 0:22:42.167 --> 0:22:46.607 and I'm a fast starter, and then I'm like, oh 0:22:46.647 --> 0:22:48.287 and so god. I had to do that a lot 0:22:48.327 --> 0:22:51.847 of times to work out, Hey, maybe don't come on 0:22:52.007 --> 0:22:55.407 so strong so fast, Maybe just sit back a little bit. 0:22:55.407 --> 0:22:59.047 That's just one example. And not traveling, I kept thinking 0:22:59.087 --> 0:23:01.567 if I travel more, I like it more. Everyone else 0:23:01.647 --> 0:23:05.687 likes travel. I don't like travel, and I've unpacked all 0:23:05.687 --> 0:23:08.407 the reasons why I don't like travel. So I guess 0:23:08.487 --> 0:23:11.367 knowing myself better is judging myself less. 0:23:11.847 --> 0:23:15.007 After the break, Mia is about to go rogue with 0:23:15.127 --> 0:23:16.487 her recommendation. 0:23:23.327 --> 0:23:23.927 Hell out. 0:23:26.847 --> 0:23:29.007 So we love giving our recos as much as you 0:23:29.087 --> 0:23:32.127 love hearing them, So settle in. Because Mia has a 0:23:32.207 --> 0:23:34.527 reco blockage which needs I'm plugging. 0:23:34.527 --> 0:23:38.087 That is so gross. Visually, Yeah, I've got reco constipation 0:23:38.087 --> 0:23:39.927 because I haven't been on a Friday show for a 0:23:39.927 --> 0:23:42.567 couple of weeks. Oh so I'm backed up. 0:23:42.727 --> 0:23:44.607 But we're gonna keep you hanging because I'm gonna make. 0:23:44.487 --> 0:23:47.367 You go last. Okay a visual of that ole you're up. 0:23:47.487 --> 0:23:49.807 My recommendation is a self help book, which is very 0:23:49.887 --> 0:23:52.327 unlike me, because I hate self help books. Happily, this 0:23:52.407 --> 0:23:54.927 is a self help book written by someone who also 0:23:55.087 --> 0:23:56.367 hates self help books. 0:23:56.367 --> 0:23:58.007 Perfect for you exactly. 0:23:58.327 --> 0:24:01.087 He's called Oliver Berkman, and if you know about these things, 0:24:01.127 --> 0:24:03.927 he was a Guardian columnist for years and he write 0:24:03.927 --> 0:24:06.847 these columns about self development, but from very much this 0:24:07.127 --> 0:24:11.127 like raised eyebrow, this is all perspective. And then he 0:24:11.167 --> 0:24:13.367 wrote a book that became a massive bestseller called four 0:24:13.407 --> 0:24:15.207 Thousand Hours, and he got interviewed everywhere. 0:24:15.207 --> 0:24:15.767 Blah blah blah. 0:24:15.767 --> 0:24:18.447 Anyway, it's new book. It's called Meditation for Mortals. And 0:24:18.487 --> 0:24:21.407 the reason I picked up this book that I would 0:24:21.447 --> 0:24:23.807 formally hate is because, as regular out loud as would know, 0:24:24.087 --> 0:24:25.447 I'm trying to learn how to meditate. 0:24:25.527 --> 0:24:26.247 It's not going well. 0:24:26.287 --> 0:24:29.847 Maybe I should just accept as the previous segment and 0:24:29.887 --> 0:24:32.087 me are saying, get to know yourself. Maybe I should 0:24:32.087 --> 0:24:34.927 just accept it's not for me, but I'm trying hard anyway. 0:24:35.007 --> 0:24:37.207 It's like a little course the way it's been designed, 0:24:37.207 --> 0:24:39.887 as you read a chapter every day or listen. I'm listening, 0:24:40.087 --> 0:24:42.047 so like the first five minutes of my walk in 0:24:42.087 --> 0:24:44.967 the morning, I listen to one, and it's like little 0:24:44.967 --> 0:24:47.607 insights into basically recognizing. 0:24:47.127 --> 0:24:49.367 Even bits of wisdom, yeah. 0:24:48.967 --> 0:24:51.847 And like little bits of kind of instead of thinking 0:24:51.887 --> 0:24:56.007 that one day you're going to finally become this productive, 0:24:56.167 --> 0:25:00.767 incredibly sorted out, like infinite person who can write a 0:25:00.807 --> 0:25:03.927 book and make dinners from scratch and keep everybody happy 0:25:03.967 --> 0:25:06.887 all the time and do it like maybe just chill 0:25:06.927 --> 0:25:07.327 out a bit. 0:25:07.407 --> 0:25:10.487 So it's like kind of gener therapy in a way. 0:25:10.607 --> 0:25:13.567 It kind of is, but it's like little insights and 0:25:13.607 --> 0:25:15.327 life lessons. So one of the things that I found 0:25:15.367 --> 0:25:17.807 helpful the other day was this thing about you keep 0:25:17.807 --> 0:25:19.647 a to do list, but you should also always keep 0:25:19.647 --> 0:25:21.807 a done list, because your to do list never ends, 0:25:21.807 --> 0:25:23.847 and sometimes you need to remind yourself. 0:25:23.527 --> 0:25:26.247 That, look, I did actually do all that shit, and 0:25:26.327 --> 0:25:26.887 things like. 0:25:26.847 --> 0:25:29.207 I was talking to you Earliermir about like he's saying, 0:25:29.647 --> 0:25:32.647 when you feel really trapped in any situation, remember that 0:25:32.687 --> 0:25:35.447 you do have the freedom to change it, but you 0:25:35.527 --> 0:25:37.687 have to work out whether the consequences are worth it. 0:25:37.767 --> 0:25:41.087 Oh I like these so anyway, it's not like me. 0:25:41.167 --> 0:25:44.527 But you know, I'm trying to grow, and I'm only 0:25:44.647 --> 0:25:47.447 up to about week seven. So I'll report back just 0:25:47.487 --> 0:25:50.167 to torture you all on whether or not I ever learn. 0:25:50.367 --> 0:25:53.247 I think it's twenty eight. Sorry, every day for twenty 0:25:53.327 --> 0:25:55.847 eight Oh no, no, no, sorry, there's four weeks. So 0:25:55.887 --> 0:25:59.287 how many days are there than four weeks? Thirty ish? Yeah. 0:26:00.367 --> 0:26:02.287 The idea is is if you read or listen to 0:26:02.287 --> 0:26:04.207 a chapter every day. Yeah, can't you tell them better? 0:26:04.247 --> 0:26:07.767 Person? Already it's going really well. It's called Meditation for 0:26:07.967 --> 0:26:09.207 Mortals by Oliver Burk. 0:26:09.367 --> 0:26:13.367 Okay, my turn. So I'm recommending a product today. It's 0:26:13.407 --> 0:26:17.967 called the vs Ssoon Unbound Cord and Cordless Curler. 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You don't have 0:26:35.087 --> 0:26:35.447 to be both. 0:26:35.527 --> 0:26:36.967 Remember when it was blue your hair. 0:26:36.847 --> 0:26:37.967 That was what I was going through a breakup, so 0:26:37.967 --> 0:26:38.447 I don't want to talk. 0:26:38.687 --> 0:26:41.447 Yeah, okay, break up, but it was good. 0:26:41.647 --> 0:26:45.287 They showed me this curler that like, it's not like 0:26:45.327 --> 0:26:48.007 the traditional curls where you curl your hair around or 0:26:48.007 --> 0:26:51.007 like those big wand things it sucks your hair in 0:26:51.607 --> 0:26:54.167 and then spits it out or dies one of those. 0:26:54.327 --> 0:26:55.687 And it's like a curl and it's so light and 0:26:55.687 --> 0:26:58.447 it's cordless, so you can charge it overnight and keep 0:26:58.487 --> 0:27:00.567 in your handbag or your car. And you choose like 0:27:00.567 --> 0:27:02.967 the heat temperature, You choose which direction you want the 0:27:03.007 --> 0:27:05.167 curl to go in, and you can choose how curly you. 0:27:05.167 --> 0:27:08.287 Want to Does it leave you with like beechy waves. 0:27:07.887 --> 0:27:10.927 Or there's four options. Can I choose on the actual device, 0:27:10.967 --> 0:27:12.447 like if you want just a wave or like a 0:27:12.487 --> 0:27:14.407 tight curl. I always go tight curl because my hair 0:27:14.447 --> 0:27:18.767 is so thick that it drops, but also the it 0:27:18.887 --> 0:27:19.567 like keeps. 0:27:19.327 --> 0:27:19.847 It in there. 0:27:19.887 --> 0:27:21.887 And it took me ten minutes to do my hair 0:27:22.167 --> 0:27:26.247 isn't that insane? Normally ten hour, it takes an hour. 0:27:26.087 --> 0:27:29.047 To Oh, that's very good. Is it expensive? There are 0:27:29.087 --> 0:27:32.727 so many amazing new hair tools on the market. Some 0:27:32.767 --> 0:27:34.287 of them are incredibly expensive. 0:27:34.327 --> 0:27:37.727 It's around one hundred and fifty I think, which is expensive, 0:27:37.847 --> 0:27:38.327 but not the. 0:27:40.087 --> 0:27:43.967 Dollars. Yeah, okay, that's awesome. So I've got a few. 0:27:45.087 --> 0:27:48.247 I've had my fiber. I'm ready to release my recommendations 0:27:48.247 --> 0:27:50.967 into the world. The first thing I want to recommend 0:27:50.967 --> 0:27:52.567 is a book that was out this week that I've 0:27:52.607 --> 0:27:55.687 wanted to tell out louders about for a while. It's 0:27:55.727 --> 0:27:58.727 called Out of the Box and it is subtitled A 0:27:58.767 --> 0:28:02.527 one Stop Guide to Navigating Neurodivergence. It's by Rebecca Sparrow 0:28:02.887 --> 0:28:07.247 and Madonna King. They both live up in Brisbane. Madonna 0:28:07.327 --> 0:28:10.407 King is a terrific journalist and written many many books 0:28:10.487 --> 0:28:13.687 about parenting and other things. Beck's Barrow, friend of the Pod, 0:28:13.967 --> 0:28:19.847 absolute gun expert on teenagers and tweens. But this book 0:28:20.007 --> 0:28:21.647 is so good. I know that there are a lot 0:28:21.687 --> 0:28:24.647 of out louders who have kids of all different ages 0:28:24.767 --> 0:28:27.847 who are neurodivergent, so that might mean that they are 0:28:28.087 --> 0:28:31.567 on the autism spectrum. Or they have. Adhd Madonna and 0:28:31.607 --> 0:28:35.887 Beck surveyed and interviewed almost two thousand Australians in including 0:28:36.007 --> 0:28:39.647 like experts and educators and children and their parents, and 0:28:40.287 --> 0:28:45.207 they gathered all the most useful tips to help support 0:28:45.407 --> 0:28:48.447 these kids and not just when they're little, but also 0:28:48.607 --> 0:28:51.607 like when they're learning to drive and when they're you know, 0:28:51.727 --> 0:28:54.367 maybe moving out of home and finding friends. 0:28:54.447 --> 0:28:56.687 And there's a lot about schools too, and how it 0:28:56.767 --> 0:28:58.647 is how fast to deal with education when. 0:28:58.527 --> 0:29:02.407 Your kid doesn't fit the box exactly exactly, and Beck 0:29:02.447 --> 0:29:06.607 has a neurodivergent child, and it's even stuff about applying 0:29:06.607 --> 0:29:10.327 for jobs and insights from teachers and it's just such 0:29:10.367 --> 0:29:12.527 a great book. It's a terrific handbook if you've got 0:29:12.527 --> 0:29:16.567 someone who is living with someone who's neurodiversent, it's a 0:29:16.607 --> 0:29:20.887 great gift. Highly recommend it. Some of my other recommendations. 0:29:21.767 --> 0:29:24.847 I have read a book by someone we all love 0:29:24.887 --> 0:29:28.767 on the show, Taffy Brodessa Akner. She is one of 0:29:28.807 --> 0:29:31.887 the best profile writers in the world. She works for 0:29:31.927 --> 0:29:34.287 The New York Times. She wrote a book called Fleischman 0:29:34.367 --> 0:29:37.167 Is in Trouble, which was made into a TV series, 0:29:37.367 --> 0:29:40.087 and her next novel is called Long Island Compromise, and 0:29:40.167 --> 0:29:44.367 it is about a very wealthy family, three generations of 0:29:44.367 --> 0:29:47.847 that family, and the impact it has when the father 0:29:48.127 --> 0:29:51.167 is kidnapped for a period of time and then returned. 0:29:51.647 --> 0:29:54.247 And it's not a thriller. That actually happens early on 0:29:54.287 --> 0:29:56.807 and he's returned. It's not like a mystery or a thriller. 0:29:57.087 --> 0:30:00.007 If she was not a woman, she would be being 0:30:00.127 --> 0:30:04.727 compared to Jonathan Fransen, who is this great American author 0:30:04.767 --> 0:30:09.367 who writes generational novels. She's amazing, She is incredible. That's 0:30:09.367 --> 0:30:12.447 excellently actually a good book. I love her writing. Yeah, 0:30:12.487 --> 0:30:14.527 I just loved reading this book. So I read that 0:30:14.767 --> 0:30:17.807 on my kindle. Long Island Compromise a book that I 0:30:17.887 --> 0:30:21.767 listened to that I cannot talk about enough or recommend enough. 0:30:22.567 --> 0:30:26.727 It's Lisa Marie Presley's memoir and it's the audio book 0:30:26.807 --> 0:30:29.567 and the reason Lisa Marie Presley, of course, daughter only 0:30:29.687 --> 0:30:33.447 child and daughter of Elvis Presley, mother of Riley Keo 0:30:33.967 --> 0:30:36.327 who this bit's important. She's an actor. She was in 0:30:36.407 --> 0:30:40.607 Daisy in the sixth she wrote or she started to 0:30:40.687 --> 0:30:44.047 write a memoir and she died last year of a 0:30:44.127 --> 0:30:48.767 cardiac arrest in her fifties and she had started work 0:30:48.767 --> 0:30:51.167 on this memoir. She'd recorded some voice notes, she'd done 0:30:51.207 --> 0:30:55.327 some interviews, and there were recordings of those. This memoir 0:30:55.327 --> 0:30:58.007 has been finished by her daughter, Riley, who, after her 0:30:58.087 --> 0:31:01.607 mother's sudden death, came upon all of this work and 0:31:01.967 --> 0:31:03.327 had to think about am I going to put it 0:31:03.367 --> 0:31:06.847 out in the world. The narrator who does Lisa Marie's 0:31:06.927 --> 0:31:11.327 voice is Julia Roberts, and there are also some of 0:31:11.367 --> 0:31:14.087 the recordings of Lisa Marie's actual voice. 0:31:14.207 --> 0:31:14.887 Is it emotional? 0:31:15.367 --> 0:31:19.527 Yes? And then Riley weaves her story through as well, 0:31:19.567 --> 0:31:23.767 like her experience of her mum, And it's an incredible story. 0:31:23.847 --> 0:31:27.767 Like Riley's brother took his own life a couple of 0:31:27.847 --> 0:31:32.887 years before Lisa Marie died, she married Michael Jackson. It's amazing, 0:31:33.047 --> 0:31:35.447 it's all that in there. Yes, it's all in there, 0:31:35.647 --> 0:31:40.527 opective from Riley's perspective, and then having Julia Roberts narrator, 0:31:40.607 --> 0:31:43.407 it's just it's an absolute I won't say a delight, 0:31:43.487 --> 0:31:46.287 but it is an extraordinary thing to listen to. And 0:31:46.327 --> 0:31:49.687 then the last thing I wanted to recommend is a 0:31:49.727 --> 0:31:53.167 small business brand that makes toys. She's an out louder. 0:31:53.287 --> 0:31:56.647 She sent some toys from her brand called Freckled Frog. 0:31:57.167 --> 0:31:59.447 They're these wooden toys, Like there's a lot you know 0:31:59.487 --> 0:32:01.167 that when you've got little kids, and I'd forgotten this 0:32:01.327 --> 0:32:05.207 now having Luna, your house is just full of plastic shit, yeah, 0:32:05.247 --> 0:32:08.927 brightly colored plastic. And these are so beautiful. There are 0:32:08.927 --> 0:32:11.727 all the wooden toys, Like there's this set that I've 0:32:11.727 --> 0:32:14.207 got that are just all these different people and there 0:32:14.207 --> 0:32:17.287 are different people of all ages, and there's like people 0:32:17.647 --> 0:32:20.967 using wheelchairs and you know, old people, young people, babies, 0:32:20.967 --> 0:32:22.647 and like it's for imaginative play. 0:32:22.887 --> 0:32:24.127 Are they still like colorfuls? 0:32:24.447 --> 0:32:26.727 Yea, yeah, no they're great. No, no, no, they're great 0:32:27.087 --> 0:32:29.647 and just so interesting and learners at this age now 0:32:29.647 --> 0:32:32.567 where she likes sort of little objects and sorting things. 0:32:32.807 --> 0:32:35.047 But they're the kinds of toys that are nice to 0:32:35.087 --> 0:32:38.087 have around. They did play with them as well. Totally 0:32:38.127 --> 0:32:41.127 does after the break our Best and Worst of the Week, 0:32:41.327 --> 0:32:46.687 which include a vibrator ring one unlimited out loud access. 0:32:46.887 --> 0:32:50.887 We drop episodes every Tuesday and Thursday exclusively for Mamma 0:32:50.967 --> 0:32:51.887 Mere subscribers. 0:32:52.207 --> 0:32:53.767 Follow the link at the show notes. 0:32:53.567 --> 0:32:55.807 To get us in your ears five days a week, 0:32:56.087 --> 0:33:09.767 and a huge thank you to all our current subscribers. 0:33:11.327 --> 0:33:13.287 It's time for our Best and Worst of the Week, 0:33:13.327 --> 0:33:16.487 where we tell you about the highs and lows of 0:33:16.527 --> 0:33:19.967 our week. The rules are, it can be superficial, it 0:33:19.967 --> 0:33:21.447 can be a big thing, it can be a small thing. 0:33:21.767 --> 0:33:25.727 There's no rules here, there is no judgment whole. What's 0:33:25.767 --> 0:33:28.487 your worst of the week. My friend Gwyneth is in 0:33:28.487 --> 0:33:32.727 trouble and it's making me sad. Oh dear, No. The 0:33:32.767 --> 0:33:35.287 relish with which people are reporting that Goop has laid 0:33:35.327 --> 0:33:37.207 off eighteen percent of its workforce. 0:33:37.567 --> 0:33:38.087 That's big. 0:33:38.367 --> 0:33:40.207 Well, it's not really well, I mean, I mean as 0:33:40.207 --> 0:33:43.207 a business person, she's missive, But what I mean is like, 0:33:43.287 --> 0:33:43.567 I know. 0:33:43.567 --> 0:33:44.127 It is massive. 0:33:44.167 --> 0:33:47.447 And they're also talking about their slow downs, but obviously 0:33:47.487 --> 0:33:51.007 the spin from their side is like, we're just reprioritizing 0:33:51.207 --> 0:33:53.767 Hyah decode that businesses are doing it really tough. 0:33:53.847 --> 0:33:56.367 Retailer is doing it really tough. And she is an 0:33:56.407 --> 0:34:01.407 online retailer. She sells vibrators and fancy creams and clothes 0:34:01.687 --> 0:34:06.807 and interestingly, she has never appointed a CEO. She stayed 0:34:06.807 --> 0:34:10.327 as CEO. Trinny would always done the same with her company. 0:34:10.567 --> 0:34:12.887 I have never been the CEO because I know I'd 0:34:12.887 --> 0:34:15.727 be a terrible CEO. I think that often founders aren't 0:34:15.847 --> 0:34:18.007 the best CEOs for their companies once they get to 0:34:18.047 --> 0:34:20.727 a certain size. I'm not saying that about Trinny, but 0:34:21.087 --> 0:34:26.407 perhaps Gwyneth isn't. And you know, they were doing a 0:34:26.447 --> 0:34:29.287 lot of those these candle smells like my vagina and 0:34:29.327 --> 0:34:32.447 all those like shock things. Gets what's of coverage? But 0:34:32.527 --> 0:34:35.247 it's clearly not translat Yeah, here's the thing. 0:34:35.367 --> 0:34:37.647 So the reason I was I've made it my worst 0:34:37.767 --> 0:34:39.607 is because it's also the time of year when the 0:34:39.647 --> 0:34:41.847 Goop Gift Guide comes out, and it's one of my 0:34:42.367 --> 0:34:46.167 absolute delights to go and peruse that gift guide, right, 0:34:46.767 --> 0:34:49.247 because how would I survive if I didn't know about 0:34:49.247 --> 0:34:51.047 the two hundred and fifty dollars vibrator ring? 0:34:51.287 --> 0:34:53.167 Yeah, or abra ring. 0:34:53.407 --> 0:34:56.287 It's literally like a ring, like a ring on your finger, 0:34:56.767 --> 0:34:59.247 but it has you'd like it. Actually, it has like 0:34:59.247 --> 0:35:02.007 a big gold bullet thing on it that doubles as 0:35:02.007 --> 0:35:02.647 a vibrator. 0:35:02.847 --> 0:35:05.207 Oh that's so clear. Yeah, I know. Right, So if 0:35:05.207 --> 0:35:08.127 a meeting gets boring all this podcast, I was like, 0:35:08.127 --> 0:35:11.487 what's that sound? I saw myself? That's going off? 0:35:11.567 --> 0:35:14.567 Not you know, reacting with the technology anyway, or six 0:35:14.687 --> 0:35:18.807 hundred and thirty dollars cavea or body balance magnets. It 0:35:18.967 --> 0:35:21.207 is my pleasure, right I like scrolling through all her 0:35:21.287 --> 0:35:23.847 like plain black pole and necks that inexplicably cost. 0:35:23.767 --> 0:35:26.127 Like howels dollars you never buy any And. 0:35:26.047 --> 0:35:29.207 That's my point, right, is that I was thinking, like, oh, 0:35:29.367 --> 0:35:34.127 that rainbow yoga matt for two grand. Actually that I 0:35:34.207 --> 0:35:36.007 was like, but maybe I'm part of the problem because 0:35:36.007 --> 0:35:38.647 I've never even won sport anything from the group Guard, 0:35:38.687 --> 0:35:40.207 and yet I love looking at it. 0:35:40.287 --> 0:35:42.567 I actually don't think that's the problem whole. As much 0:35:42.607 --> 0:35:44.487 as I don't want you to blame yourself for this, 0:35:45.007 --> 0:35:47.247 I actually think, having read quite a bit about this, 0:35:47.327 --> 0:35:49.887 and business is hard, man, you know, no shade on Gwyneth. 0:35:49.927 --> 0:35:54.607 Business is really hard. They expanded into good Clean Goop, 0:35:54.687 --> 0:35:57.727 which was like a discount line of Goop for Target, 0:35:58.407 --> 0:36:02.447 and it hasn't worked so funnily enough, people aren't that 0:36:02.607 --> 0:36:05.287 interested in buying a sort of a mid priced Goop 0:36:05.367 --> 0:36:10.247 product in Target. So perhaps she tried to expand in 0:36:10.287 --> 0:36:12.687 a direction and she should have gone more high end. 0:36:13.047 --> 0:36:16.927 She should have done like a thousand dollars fancy vibrator 0:36:17.007 --> 0:36:20.007 ring that's like platinum plated, and that might have been better. 0:36:20.007 --> 0:36:22.527 Who knows. I'm not a retail I'm sure she has 0:36:22.567 --> 0:36:22.927 one of them. 0:36:22.967 --> 0:36:24.047 So really sad about. 0:36:23.887 --> 0:36:25.487 Thoughts and prayers. Yes, it's my worst. 0:36:25.487 --> 0:36:28.327 I'm pouring one out for Gwyneth, Like, seriously, what can 0:36:28.367 --> 0:36:29.807 you do if you haven't got the Goop Guide in 0:36:29.847 --> 0:36:32.407 your back pocket? My best is reversing my car into 0:36:32.407 --> 0:36:35.407 a tree, which I know that sounds a twist. 0:36:35.447 --> 0:36:36.847 I didn't say coming for your best. 0:36:37.407 --> 0:36:40.807 So last weekend in Berry it was the Rider's Festival. 0:36:40.847 --> 0:36:42.407 I don't live in Bury, but I live near Berry. 0:36:42.927 --> 0:36:45.767 Jesse came down, lots of wonderful riders came down. 0:36:45.847 --> 0:36:46.687 It was great fun. 0:36:46.927 --> 0:36:50.127 But I had a very busy weekend like doing sessions, 0:36:50.127 --> 0:36:52.727 seeing sessions, doing stuff, helping out a little bit. 0:36:52.647 --> 0:36:53.047 Not really. 0:36:53.367 --> 0:36:56.367 And I was also obviously being a taxi driver for 0:36:56.407 --> 0:36:58.767 my teenage order, because that's all you are, right at 0:36:58.767 --> 0:36:59.887 some point in your life. 0:37:00.007 --> 0:37:01.447 Best decade, So yeah. 0:37:01.247 --> 0:37:02.807 It's the best decade driving. 0:37:03.327 --> 0:37:05.527 I went to pick up one of her friends from 0:37:05.607 --> 0:37:08.207 a place and I immediately reversed my car into a tree, 0:37:08.207 --> 0:37:10.487 which was very annoying. Will cost us some money to fix. 0:37:10.487 --> 0:37:12.207 But the reason it ended up being the best is 0:37:12.247 --> 0:37:14.567 that we have two cars, and the other car is 0:37:14.567 --> 0:37:17.927 an absolute ship box, like I'm not even joking it. 0:37:17.927 --> 0:37:21.487 It has wind down windows like manual wind down windows. 0:37:21.927 --> 0:37:24.647 You can't connect your phone to the stereo. Last time 0:37:24.687 --> 0:37:26.527 I was in it and I tried to adjust the mirror, 0:37:26.527 --> 0:37:28.967 it came off in my hand, like it's a shit box. 0:37:30.127 --> 0:37:32.847 And on Sunday night, after I'd just reversed the carrent 0:37:32.847 --> 0:37:34.407 to a tree, my friend who was one of the 0:37:34.487 --> 0:37:36.647 organizers of the festival, so can you give this rider 0:37:36.687 --> 0:37:39.007 a lift back to Sydney on Monday morning? I was like, sure, 0:37:39.127 --> 0:37:41.487 I can, And then I realized I was going to 0:37:41.527 --> 0:37:44.007 have to drive them in the shipbox car. Not only that, 0:37:44.047 --> 0:37:46.047 but Brent had transported a whole lot of waste from 0:37:46.047 --> 0:37:48.447 the garden in the shipbox car, so the shipbox car 0:37:48.487 --> 0:37:53.647 had spiders and hay fever, allergen things. The reason this 0:37:53.727 --> 0:37:55.847 all ended up being my best is because that two 0:37:55.887 --> 0:37:59.127 hour drive in the hilarious car with no podcasts and 0:37:59.167 --> 0:38:01.847 no music, but a very good conversation. 0:38:01.487 --> 0:38:02.287 With this person. 0:38:02.687 --> 0:38:04.607 It was actually like it was one of those things 0:38:04.647 --> 0:38:07.927 where a comedy of errors ended up giving you a present? 0:38:08.087 --> 0:38:10.247 You know what I mean? Every now and and that happens, right, 0:38:11.687 --> 0:38:14.927 what's yours? My worst is that the other day I 0:38:15.087 --> 0:38:17.167 put on my shower cap and I still do you 0:38:17.207 --> 0:38:19.847 have a shower cap? That's so well? I don't understand 0:38:19.927 --> 0:38:22.927 no one has a shower for me. You two have 0:38:23.367 --> 0:38:27.007 so much hair. I don't understand how you have showers 0:38:27.007 --> 0:38:31.247 with and you tie your hair back, but why would 0:38:31.327 --> 0:38:33.367 you want to when you can have a shower cap. 0:38:33.407 --> 0:38:35.047 I don't like the noise that it makes, and I 0:38:35.047 --> 0:38:37.127 don't know why I keep it without it going slimy 0:38:37.687 --> 0:38:39.767 and it kind of smells a bit your towel hook. 0:38:39.847 --> 0:38:43.127 But also I don't have my ears in it. I 0:38:43.167 --> 0:38:45.567 think maybe because I have my back to the shower 0:38:45.687 --> 0:38:48.687 the water. Do you have your face? No, I face 0:38:48.767 --> 0:38:51.567 the shower. Oh, I don't face the shower. Maybe this 0:38:52.727 --> 0:38:55.487 reddle this, This might make a little bit more sense. 0:38:55.607 --> 0:38:57.847 But also I rotate a little bit, like sometimes I 0:38:57.847 --> 0:38:58.327 turn around. 0:38:58.327 --> 0:38:59.087 We have to clean it front. 0:38:59.167 --> 0:39:03.807 Sometimes clean front, clean front. Anyway, I put my shower 0:39:03.847 --> 0:39:06.447 cap on my head and I was like, what's that is? 0:39:06.687 --> 0:39:09.807 Maybe some of my hair's falling out? Glance in the mirror. 0:39:09.887 --> 0:39:11.527 There was a cockreach running down my face. 0:39:12.927 --> 0:39:14.607 That's why we don't shower down. 0:39:14.527 --> 0:39:18.607 Into my cleavage and then I brushed it away and 0:39:19.647 --> 0:39:22.327 off it ran. Anyway, it wasn't lovely. That was my 0:39:22.367 --> 0:39:25.607 worst pretty bad, right. Best though, is that every so 0:39:25.727 --> 0:39:28.807 often I haven't we call it out og family dinner. 0:39:29.207 --> 0:39:32.167 It's my family of origin, so it's my parents and 0:39:32.207 --> 0:39:35.767 my brother, no partners, no kids, just the four of us. 0:39:35.967 --> 0:39:38.047 And we had one of those haven't had one for 0:39:38.087 --> 0:39:43.007 ages and it was really lovely. And then my mum asked, oh, Darling, 0:39:43.327 --> 0:39:45.407 when are you going to be back on Out Loud? 0:39:46.047 --> 0:39:48.407 And usually she doesn't like the show when I'm not 0:39:48.487 --> 0:39:51.607 on it, She's always like, I'm missing you on the show. 0:39:52.127 --> 0:39:53.407 I mean, I only do this for her. 0:39:54.247 --> 0:39:56.807 Well, we're going to get to you. And then she said, 0:39:57.327 --> 0:40:01.607 oh no, look I actually have been loving Amelia and 0:40:01.807 --> 0:40:05.127 em I've been loving them and went, thanks mom, No, 0:40:05.487 --> 0:40:08.327 that makes me so happy because I'd love having people 0:40:08.567 --> 0:40:10.927 so I can go and do other things. I said, 0:40:10.967 --> 0:40:13.047 what do you love about m Because whenever anyone gives 0:40:13.087 --> 0:40:16.287 me a compliment or compliments anything work related, I asked 0:40:16.287 --> 0:40:19.247 them why because I always want to learn and so 0:40:19.367 --> 0:40:24.087 I'm like, what do you like about them? And Mum said, well, 0:40:24.087 --> 0:40:26.807 Amelie is just she's so dry and she's so funny 0:40:26.847 --> 0:40:29.207 and she knows so much. And I said, and what 0:40:29.247 --> 0:40:33.487 about m And she said, she's tough, but she's also vulnerable. 0:40:33.887 --> 0:40:36.887 Like last week she had her jeans and she was 0:40:36.927 --> 0:40:40.527 bleeding into her genes and this guy who she'd been 0:40:40.567 --> 0:40:42.527 with but I think it was just a one night stand, 0:40:42.767 --> 0:40:45.367 was like, I think you're bleeding in your jeans and 0:40:45.407 --> 0:40:47.207 then Holly said, well did he stay the night? And 0:40:47.207 --> 0:40:48.527 she's like, I don't know if I'm going to see 0:40:48.567 --> 0:40:52.447 him again. And my dad and my brother we're just like, wait, so, 0:40:52.487 --> 0:40:56.687 who's bleeding into the jeans my colleague? 0:40:56.887 --> 0:40:59.527 It's not Is it weird that they're like, this is 0:40:59.567 --> 0:41:00.207 my employee? 0:41:00.607 --> 0:41:03.727 Yeah, yeah, which is not inappropriate. So it was not 0:41:04.087 --> 0:41:06.047 the way I expected the dinner to go. But I 0:41:06.087 --> 0:41:08.127 just thought it was delightful and I love that description 0:41:08.207 --> 0:41:11.687 of you, and also that the conversation over dinner was 0:41:11.887 --> 0:41:13.727 you leaking into your genes. 0:41:13.927 --> 0:41:16.367 I love that that's gonna be for the rest of 0:41:16.407 --> 0:41:16.647 the week. 0:41:16.687 --> 0:41:17.447 What was your worst? 0:41:17.567 --> 0:41:20.527 M Okay, my worst, which now I feel bad talking 0:41:20.567 --> 0:41:22.847 about because you just complimented me when I'm about to 0:41:22.887 --> 0:41:23.807 complain about work. 0:41:23.887 --> 0:41:28.327 Oh good, nothing less. I would be disappointed if you didn't. 0:41:28.687 --> 0:41:34.007 People who put meetings between twelve pm and two pm 0:41:34.247 --> 0:41:35.127 deserve jail time. 0:41:35.207 --> 0:41:38.647 Excuse me, our record is a level that what I'm 0:41:38.687 --> 0:41:41.447 trying to say, Producer M That's what I'm trying. 0:41:41.247 --> 0:41:43.407 To say, prison, prison. 0:41:43.927 --> 0:41:46.967 Every single day last week I had a meeting or 0:41:47.007 --> 0:41:49.167 a recording during the lunch break. 0:41:49.367 --> 0:41:51.207 Do you have a two hour lunch break? No? 0:41:51.407 --> 0:41:53.607 I do like half an hour. Sometimes I push it 0:41:53.647 --> 0:41:55.047 to an hour, except I don't think I'm allowed. 0:41:55.127 --> 0:41:57.127 So why do you need a window of twelve till two? 0:41:57.847 --> 0:41:59.967 Well, I'm just saying like I could like go any 0:42:00.007 --> 0:42:04.647 time between them. You need lunch When. 0:42:04.447 --> 0:42:06.007 She's got people that she wants to talk to in 0:42:06.047 --> 0:42:10.167 the kitchen, you know, shift your lunch break depending on 0:42:10.207 --> 0:42:12.287 when the meeting was, unless it was a two hour 0:42:12.327 --> 0:42:14.447 meeting that went from twelve till two, And I don't 0:42:14.487 --> 0:42:15.887 think anyone's invited you to that. 0:42:15.887 --> 0:42:17.847 That's not the thing. The thing is is like my 0:42:18.167 --> 0:42:20.607 friends will have their lunch break and then I'll come 0:42:20.647 --> 0:42:22.327 out of the meeting, and then no one's there in 0:42:22.367 --> 0:42:23.207 the kitchen. 0:42:22.887 --> 0:42:24.367 And then I have to. 0:42:24.647 --> 0:42:26.407 I either have to sit by myself or sit at 0:42:26.407 --> 0:42:28.127 my desk and then work while I'm eating. 0:42:28.167 --> 0:42:30.527 Because we have a big common area at Mum and 0:42:30.607 --> 0:42:35.967 mea which we call the kitchen, and you know what 0:42:36.047 --> 0:42:40.527 at lunch time name buzzing ill the cafeteria because it 0:42:40.527 --> 0:42:43.047 feels like a cafeteria. It's like a cafeteria. 0:42:43.407 --> 0:42:45.527 There's so many more people. Like when I started, there 0:42:45.567 --> 0:42:47.727 was like seventy people, and you knew everyone in our 0:42:47.767 --> 0:42:50.407 old office. And now there's so many more people that 0:42:50.487 --> 0:42:52.407 I feel like, oh, I actually don't know you, and 0:42:52.447 --> 0:42:54.127 it's a bit weird if I just sit near you 0:42:54.167 --> 0:42:55.807 and you guys are just in the same team. 0:42:55.887 --> 0:42:59.247 Like, I can't do that, so you need to write. 0:42:58.847 --> 0:43:03.167 So it's really yucking. You're young. When someone makes you 0:43:03.207 --> 0:43:04.567 a lunch meeting, the work. 0:43:04.447 --> 0:43:08.007 Demands are messing with her socializing. May's all right, definitely 0:43:08.007 --> 0:43:11.327 talk to HR about that. A work life balance, it's important, 0:43:11.367 --> 0:43:14.407 and that includes lunch. I need to have full flexibility 0:43:14.447 --> 0:43:16.687 of my lunch time, which means I'm blocking out these twos. 0:43:16.687 --> 0:43:18.167 We should just run this audio in the kitchen. 0:43:18.847 --> 0:43:21.367 That's true, Okay. 0:43:21.487 --> 0:43:24.127 My best is is that oh I didn't crash my car. 0:43:24.207 --> 0:43:27.727 But it's similar to U whole. I don't really like driving, 0:43:28.367 --> 0:43:31.407 Like driving is like my worst chore ever. So I 0:43:31.447 --> 0:43:33.367 do have a car because the only times I have 0:43:33.447 --> 0:43:35.367 to drive is to my parents' house because I live 0:43:35.447 --> 0:43:37.927 quite far and I live in the city. And then 0:43:38.007 --> 0:43:39.047 they launched the Metro. 0:43:39.727 --> 0:43:41.367 The Metro is great. I've caught the Metro. 0:43:41.807 --> 0:43:43.247 I've been having the best time. 0:43:43.647 --> 0:43:44.927 So I use a light rail. 0:43:45.247 --> 0:43:47.527 It's in between a train and the light rail, I 0:43:47.527 --> 0:43:50.087 would say. So it's like a new form of transport 0:43:50.167 --> 0:43:53.207 that they've launched in Sydney that like, I don't. 0:43:53.007 --> 0:43:54.367 Know how to me. 0:43:54.527 --> 0:43:58.087 It's no different from any other underground train. But because 0:43:58.127 --> 0:44:01.607 it's new, it's fancy. It's fancy. So the stations of fancy, 0:44:01.727 --> 0:44:04.247 so it's underground. Yeah, yeah, so the stations of fancy 0:44:04.287 --> 0:44:07.247 and clean. The platforms are fancy and clean. It's got 0:44:07.287 --> 0:44:09.887 like a barrier that owns so like you're not exposed 0:44:09.887 --> 0:44:10.767 to the tunnel. 0:44:10.847 --> 0:44:14.487 Like it's just it's faster. There's no driver, So. 0:44:14.047 --> 0:44:15.127 So what do you love about it? 0:44:15.407 --> 0:44:16.887 I love it because now I don't have to drive 0:44:16.927 --> 0:44:18.847 to my parents' house so I can jump. So I 0:44:18.927 --> 0:44:21.127 take it from Gadigall station, which is in the city, 0:44:21.607 --> 0:44:23.927 and I take it to my parents' place and it's 0:44:23.927 --> 0:44:25.647 like a five minute's walk to their place, and I'm 0:44:25.727 --> 0:44:27.207 using public transport. 0:44:26.967 --> 0:44:28.247 Saving the world. Yeah it's good. 0:44:28.287 --> 0:44:29.327 Yeah, it's so good. 0:44:29.407 --> 0:44:30.687 And it's like everybody and I. 0:44:30.607 --> 0:44:32.287 Feel like I'm a main character because you can like 0:44:32.327 --> 0:44:33.927 read your book and then you're looking at everyone, going, 0:44:33.967 --> 0:44:35.567 I know, you see me looking smart over here. 0:44:35.767 --> 0:44:36.287 I like that. 0:44:36.367 --> 0:44:36.887 It's nice. 0:44:36.967 --> 0:44:40.727 Everybody loves it. Thank you so much out loud. As 0:44:40.767 --> 0:44:42.447 we've come to the end of our show today. 0:44:42.527 --> 0:44:44.567 Thank you for being with us. We hope you enjoy 0:44:44.647 --> 0:44:46.527 listening to it as much as we enjoy making it. 0:44:46.567 --> 0:44:48.087 We're going to be back in years on Monday, but 0:44:48.207 --> 0:44:50.687 until then and read this out, my friend. 0:44:50.647 --> 0:44:54.407 A big thank you to our team. Executive producer Rude Divine. 0:44:54.607 --> 0:44:57.327 She says that she barely knows what decade she's in, 0:44:57.527 --> 0:45:01.447 let alone if she's happy or not. Our senior producer 0:45:01.687 --> 0:45:05.407 Emmeline Gazillas is generally a glass half full kind of gal, 0:45:05.727 --> 0:45:08.727 but it's particularly content in her current decade, which is 0:45:08.767 --> 0:45:11.287 what she's been in her thirties or five seconds. You 0:45:11.287 --> 0:45:14.367 don't know this, okay. Our audio producer. 0:45:13.967 --> 0:45:17.807 Leah, but no complaints. She's fitting on so good. 0:45:18.087 --> 0:45:21.807 Audio producer Leah Porges is definitely in her happiest decade now. 0:45:21.847 --> 0:45:24.607 She hated being a teenager but is thriving in her twenties. 0:45:24.607 --> 0:45:28.247 It must ben. And our social media producer Isabelle Dolphin, 0:45:28.287 --> 0:45:30.527 who's on holiday now, so we're deciding for her that 0:45:30.607 --> 0:45:33.287 this is definitely her happiest time surely. 0:45:33.327 --> 0:45:37.247 And before we go out louders, it's the US election 0:45:37.327 --> 0:45:41.127 next week. Hello boy, did Amelia Lester have a lot 0:45:41.167 --> 0:45:44.447 to unpack with Holly and Jesse on yesterday's subscriber episode. 0:45:44.687 --> 0:45:47.087 We'll give you a little preview of that episode right now. 0:45:47.207 --> 0:45:48.607 There is a link in the show notes if you 0:45:48.607 --> 0:45:50.967 will listen to the whole theme. Now, did I say that? 0:45:51.047 --> 0:45:54.007 Jennifer Lopez she also has come out and she is 0:45:54.127 --> 0:45:55.807 roundly she said, let's get loud. 0:45:55.847 --> 0:45:56.487 It's a lie. 0:45:56.687 --> 0:45:59.527 I love it, Jello and she's the vote Harris all 0:45:59.567 --> 0:46:03.007 the way. And she's also reposted some very famous on 0:46:03.167 --> 0:46:07.007 stage imagery of her wearing air Puerto Rican flagged made 0:46:07.127 --> 0:46:10.407 entirely of feathers and her Puerto Rican pride. After that 0:46:10.567 --> 0:46:11.767 our commentary go. 0:46:11.847 --> 0:46:14.127 Jayler and we should mention that Puerto Ricans are scattered 0:46:14.167 --> 0:46:17.047 all over the US because they are American and so 0:46:17.127 --> 0:46:20.607 this could have a real impact on things. Shout out 0:46:20.607 --> 0:46:23.767 to any Muma Maya subscribers listening. If you love the 0:46:23.767 --> 0:46:26.567 show and you want to support us as well, subscribing 0:46:26.567 --> 0:46:28.927 to Mama Maya is the very best way to do so. 0:46:29.007 --> 0:46:30.967 There is a link in the episode description.