Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2: Mom and Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and
Speaker 2: waters that this podcast is recorded on.
Speaker 1: I remember rocking with Macy and my eyes were burning
Speaker 1: because i was like so sick, and I'm looking over
Speaker 1: at my wife and she's like, don't give her back,
Speaker 1: don't give her back.
Speaker 2: The Baby Bubble with Claire and Jesse Stevens. It's definitely
Speaker 2: not a parenting advice podcast. Jess, I've noticed something about
Speaker 2: my baby. I've noticed a few things about your baby,
Speaker 2: but I choose not to say. Okay, Well, one skill
Speaker 2: she hasn't mastered yet is acting appropriately given the circumstances.
Speaker 2: So she can't read sort of the social environment, social cues. No,
Speaker 2: she's inappropriate. Do you find that? She kind of like
Speaker 2: you're sitting in a seat, then she'll start yelling, yelling,
Speaker 2: or she can't. It's like at this dinner table, we
Speaker 2: don't talk about politics, and she's like, who are we
Speaker 2: voting for her? Yeah, She's like, what do you think
Speaker 2: of Trump? And it's like Matilda. So the other week
Speaker 2: we were in hospital and it was actually a very
Speaker 2: scary time and it's like, Babe, you're being the drama.
Speaker 2: You're the drama. You're here for me. We're not in
Speaker 2: hospital for me, babe, We're in hospital for you. You're
Speaker 2: the fuss. Like I'm crying. The nurse is silent. There's
Speaker 2: a lot happening. Things are objectively terrible. Yeah, Matilda's clapping. Ah,
Speaker 2: she's laughing. You came to visit us, and you correctly observed.
Speaker 2: She thought it was a party.
Speaker 1: She did.
Speaker 2: She looked around the hospital waiting room and went, you
Speaker 2: guys all here for me. I can dance. Hmm, not
Speaker 2: the vibe. The nurses would come around to check her
Speaker 2: and she's like, guys, be honest, how great is everything? Yeah? No,
Speaker 2: Everyone's like hmmm, no actually, And it's like there's a
Speaker 2: newborn that has been screaming in the room next door
Speaker 2: for a day and Matilda thinks it's music. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: he's doing a clap. No no, no, no no. We
Speaker 2: have to have you know what an hospital demands, decorum, reverence. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and she's a bit of reverence and I have never
Speaker 2: seen her display any reverence. Jess. She wakes up at
Speaker 2: three am and it's so quiet, and it's clearly a
Speaker 2: time for sleeping, just socially vibe wise or just rest
Speaker 2: just rested. She's giggling, she's chatting. I don't know, like
Speaker 2: a dream, she can't read a room. Maybe she has
Speaker 2: an imaginary friend. I think always that's my worst nightmare
Speaker 2: as a child who has a ghost, Yeah, an imaginary friend.
Speaker 2: And they're like, yeah, she died in the Second World War. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's so creepy. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't told you that.
Speaker 2: I've got an issue with Luna at the moment, which
Speaker 2: is that every time I get into so, she's afraid
Speaker 2: of barths. Yeah I told you about this. She's afraid
Speaker 2: of bards. So we have to have a shower, and
Speaker 2: then we get in the shower and then she gets menipple.
Speaker 1: I know, I know.
Speaker 2: And so Luca came into my after him the other
Speaker 2: day and was like, oh, you've got your cozy out,
Speaker 2: and I was like, yeah, I gotta wear a bikini
Speaker 2: top in my shower now, and she gives me a
Speaker 2: nipple cripple and I look at her and go to
Speaker 2: be clear, I don't want to shower with you. I
Speaker 2: wanted my own shower. I've got to wash my hair,
Speaker 2: shave my legs. I hate this because my body's not
Speaker 2: under yeah, and I've got to wash you while not
Speaker 2: dropping you while you're being a slippery lip. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: if she's not going and then she thinks it's really funny.
Speaker 2: The other day she discovered my belly button. Do you
Speaker 2: know what it feels like to be poked really hard
Speaker 2: in the belly button because it feels like it's got
Speaker 2: some intestine or something. It's horrific. Read the cues. Our
Speaker 2: guest this week is Ash Wicks. He is one half
Speaker 2: of the Two Doting Dads podcast, where he and Maddie
Speaker 2: Jy swap stories about well being dad's. Ash is also
Speaker 2: known for his online skits showing the duality of parenting
Speaker 2: mum and dads and, most recently, because being a parent
Speaker 2: isn't enough of a full time job. Ash has just
Speaker 2: released his first children's book with Maddy j Two Doting Dads,
Speaker 2: The Quest for Free Time. That sounds so relatable, Ash,
Speaker 2: Can we get a snapshot of your family? How old
Speaker 2: are your kids?
Speaker 1: I've got a boy, Oscar who's five, and I have
Speaker 1: a daughter, Macy, who's going to be three in November.
Speaker 2: So what's the age? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Bit over two, it's a little bit over to yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah two and done.
Speaker 2: That seems to be a trend. You're known for your
Speaker 2: viral videos on Instagram and TikTok. I see them a lot,
Speaker 2: and it's a lot about parenting and the relationship between
Speaker 2: sort of a husband and wife after kids. And one
Speaker 2: that I saw recently was about an example of you've
Speaker 2: dropped your kid off at daycare and your wife has
Speaker 2: some questions. What are some differences between how you might
Speaker 2: drop the kids off at daycare and how your wife
Speaker 2: would drop.
Speaker 1: Look, I'm known for a very quick drop.
Speaker 2: Off, dry by, kick him out pretty much pretty much.
Speaker 1: Carstill moving, Try like I did the double drop off
Speaker 1: this morning because my wife's sick and they go to
Speaker 1: two different daycares. Oscar's a like a daycare, Maye's more
Speaker 1: of a kindy. I don't even know really the difference,
Speaker 1: but I know one of them they feed them and
Speaker 1: the other one I've got to provide the food. Oh,
Speaker 1: one one they get fed, yeah, but the fees are ridiculous,
Speaker 1: but the other one is free. Thankfully my kids are indigenous,
Speaker 1: so they also get a little bit of benefit there.
Speaker 1: And really yeah oh wow, yeah, so it's a community
Speaker 1: one and they're like really great, Oh well.
Speaker 2: That's fantastic, that's awesome. Do you ever accidentally pack a
Speaker 2: meal for the kid that gets a meal so one's
Speaker 2: getting two?
Speaker 1: No, but I do forget it and then I've got
Speaker 1: to go home. Yeah, but my drop off, I've mastered it.
Speaker 1: Don't look back. He's a good one. But I think
Speaker 1: like the kindis in the daycares that my kid go
Speaker 1: to are really good at like diffusing where it can
Speaker 1: go wrong. So like Oscar, he's kindy. They've got like
Speaker 1: a waving tree, so it's like you raise him and
Speaker 1: he's a boy, so everything has to be fast. Who's
Speaker 1: the fastest? Yea, And I'll race you to the tree
Speaker 1: and I'm on the other side of the fences too late. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So this morning we were pretty seamless, except that I
Speaker 1: can't drop one off without taking the other one like
Speaker 1: completely in and letting them have a walk around as well.
Speaker 1: And when you're in a rash sometimes that's usually when
Speaker 1: they're like, I go, bit, now, we'll good this morning.
Speaker 1: And my wife is very different to that, where it's
Speaker 1: like it's she's going to go in make sure everything
Speaker 1: is okay. Yeah, yeah, And you see the difference. Even
Speaker 1: for me, I'll walk in the same time as another
Speaker 1: parent and I'm way out the door before they even
Speaker 1: get close to the door.
Speaker 2: Is it intentional?
Speaker 1: Are you like?
Speaker 2: I won't engage because then I'm setting quite a high
Speaker 2: standard for myself. So if I just do the then they'll.
Speaker 1: Never expect to I'll yeah, look, there's definitely a hug.
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong. It's not like out of there.
Speaker 1: It's look, I always like give them a hug. And
Speaker 1: if they're really bad and they're really unsettle, I do
Speaker 1: turn into a softy. I have gone back and picked
Speaker 1: Oscar up. I've seen him through the fence and I
Speaker 1: was like, nah, I can't do it. And we did
Speaker 1: an episode about that where I was like, I'd never
Speaker 1: seen him like that, and I went grabbed him. We
Speaker 1: actually sat down in a separate part of the playground
Speaker 1: and I think that day all of his friends that
Speaker 1: he would usually click with weren't there. And yeah, it
Speaker 1: just broke my heart and I just put him back
Speaker 1: in the car and he spent the day with me.
Speaker 2: Oh, I was going to say, did you spend the
Speaker 2: day day care? Your friends aren't here, don't worry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think he just came home with me and
Speaker 1: we just did some stuff and I think he just
Speaker 1: pretty much watched me work.
Speaker 2: And I stood off.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So yeah.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I try and set that
Speaker 1: everything's fine, everything's going to be fine, and they know that,
Speaker 1: and I think sometimes they just want to test you
Speaker 1: as well, and they're like, well, what can I get
Speaker 1: away with? Majority of the time, if there's a teacher there,
Speaker 1: they really love. It's really seamless.
Speaker 2: Speaking of work, you recently wrote a children's book.
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do they think of it? Are they giving
Speaker 2: it reviews? Do they have some feedback?
Speaker 1: What do they think? They're a bit rattled because they
Speaker 1: don't know why their friends aren't in kids books because
Speaker 1: they're in the book. I've given one to the daycare
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and they read it to the
Speaker 1: kids and all that sort of stuff. And my kids
Speaker 1: are like, why aren't they? And I'm like, oh, what
Speaker 1: have I done? But at the same time, I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's really cool. They really love it. They know the
Speaker 1: story inside and out now, so I can't skip pages
Speaker 1: at bedtime. It's really slowed down the bedtime read because
Speaker 1: they like to point out everything they're in it, and
Speaker 1: there's all I feel like there's a lot of illustration
Speaker 1: in it and a lot of for the kids to
Speaker 1: find something they didn't see the first time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a narcissism of kids. I know it's about it.
Speaker 1: Do you slow me down?
Speaker 2: And your little boy did he go as you for bookquick?
Speaker 1: He did?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And how did that feel?
Speaker 1: It wasn't forced, it was actually his idea. Where I
Speaker 1: was away, we did the book launch that week, and
Speaker 1: we did a couple of pr things and I was
Speaker 1: in Perth. My wife message me and she said, he
Speaker 1: wants to go as you to book week this week.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, I'm not back till Monday night
Speaker 1: and he' She's like, well it's later in the week,
Speaker 1: so you can get back and sort of out. And
Speaker 1: I painted and drew some tatooes all because the book
Speaker 1: illustrated was great. He wanted photo evidence of all my
Speaker 1: tatooes to try and line them up, which was really cool.
Speaker 1: I thought that was really cool. They're not like perfect,
Speaker 1: but a lot of them are like all the same shape.
Speaker 1: So I did what I could on him that.
Speaker 2: Was similar, and oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he loved it and like the kids at his
Speaker 1: kindy sort of understood, but they were also they all
Speaker 1: went as like, you know, superheroes and princesses and stuff,
Speaker 1: and he said a couple of kids laughed at them,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, just ask him where their
Speaker 1: book is.
Speaker 2: That's the thing. It's a really easy thing, I think,
Speaker 2: to teach your kid how to bully others, because it's like, well,
Speaker 2: you're not in a kid's book, and your dad didn't
Speaker 2: write a book. What is your dad do? Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: That's a neurosurgeon. Shit, sounds like a loser.
Speaker 1: So he's got a heap of money.
Speaker 2: Asking for a friend. When you do your viral videos
Speaker 2: and you're doing a bit of an impersonation if your wife,
Speaker 2: do you ever cross the line and end up having
Speaker 2: a fight about it?
Speaker 1: Never, We've never once. She actually does all my spell checking.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, so if there's a video that goes up
Speaker 1: with there's a spelling mistake, she didn't check it. Okay,
Speaker 1: But I think when I first started on that journey, yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to make fun of the relationship or
Speaker 1: I didn't want it to be a slapstick humor. I
Speaker 1: wanted it to be the tiny little moment that you
Speaker 1: have with someone that you don't think everyone else is having,
Speaker 1: and then when you see someone else have that moment,
Speaker 1: you're like, ah, shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all about.
Speaker 1: We're all having that. We're the biggest compliment I get
Speaker 1: is when people say do you live with us? They go,
Speaker 1: do you live with us? And that happens all the time,
Speaker 1: and some people misinterpret it and think that I'm making
Speaker 1: fun of her, but she absolutely loves it.
Speaker 2: What I love is it it's the subtle dig because
Speaker 2: I think as a parent, you realize you're sleep deprived,
Speaker 2: you've had a rough way, and there's one person you
Speaker 2: can take it out. Yeah, you get away with one. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you get away with two. It's normally about the third
Speaker 2: that your partner turns around and goes, you're just being
Speaker 2: a bitch today. Yeah, yeah, I probably am. Do you
Speaker 2: find that that there are subtle digs you can get
Speaker 2: away with? Like comments there was a great one that
Speaker 2: you did about For example, when you try and have
Speaker 2: two activities in one day. Oh yeah, the audacity.
Speaker 1: To don't go for a serve and go to the
Speaker 1: gym at the same time. Absolutely, unless you get two
Speaker 1: times away as well. It's not Also another one is
Speaker 1: doing the grocery shop alone. Yeah, and you're like, ah,
Speaker 1: I'll do the shopping. It's like no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm doing it. Or it's like take a kid, which
Speaker 1: one do you want? Which one is the less Wingey wants?
Speaker 2: It's a very different task that way. I want to
Speaker 2: know how you would describe your parenting style.
Speaker 1: I'd like to say relaxed. I'm not overly strict with
Speaker 1: my kids. I like them to show people respect, of course,
Speaker 1: like even at the young age, like the please and
Speaker 1: thank you are really obvious in my house. But also
Speaker 1: the swearing is pretty obvious in my house. I'm not
Speaker 1: one of those parents who's I can't swear around my
Speaker 1: kids because if I do that, I feel like they're
Speaker 1: gonna know it's a bad thing and they're going to
Speaker 1: do it pat my back.
Speaker 2: True, they're gonna be the kid that comes to school
Speaker 2: and yeah, dropping it.
Speaker 1: That's why I was. My parents never swore in front
Speaker 1: of me, and I got in trouble for swearing because
Speaker 1: I thought I was really cool to swear. But Oscar
Speaker 1: and Macy both know what the bad words are, and
Speaker 1: if one of them drops it, the other one always
Speaker 1: dobs on the other one. But they know not to
Speaker 1: say that because I don't watch my language as much
Speaker 1: as other parents would expect me to or want me to.
Speaker 1: I think like a fond memory for us. We're on
Speaker 1: a family trip, like an extended family trip in Fiji,
Speaker 1: wire around like the family pool that's at the resort.
Speaker 1: It was great, everyone was there, There's all these kids there,
Speaker 1: there's those pool noodles, and Oscar picks up a pool noodle,
Speaker 1: rests on the side of the pool and just goes
Speaker 1: fox safe. And that is exactly what my wife says
Speaker 1: all the time. That's her go to and it's usually
Speaker 1: in the car or something. So yeah, and look, they
Speaker 1: know it's a bad word, which is what I wanted,
Speaker 1: so that they know. If my kid's frustrated and he's
Speaker 1: angry and he needs to curse to bring himself back down, bro,
Speaker 1: go into your room and do it. But if I
Speaker 1: hear you ever say something to someone like then that's
Speaker 1: when it's going to be a problem. I've got some
Speaker 1: friends that are like really like free range parents that
Speaker 1: let the kids fall asleep river. We're pretty routine as
Speaker 1: best as possible, and that's sounds that's my wife. Really,
Speaker 1: I'm just following along.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I never categorize myself in a particular type
Speaker 1: of parenting. I feel like I'm not a professional at it.
Speaker 1: I'm just doing my best every day. And there's days
Speaker 1: where I'll look back and I'll go, why the fuck
Speaker 1: did I do that? Of why did I say that?
Speaker 1: Or what could I have done better? For sure, and
Speaker 1: that's going to be different every week.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's weird. It feels like as a parent, like
Speaker 2: I don't remember making any decisions about how i'd parent.
Speaker 1: You just do.
Speaker 2: You never sit down and have a meeting and think, Okay,
Speaker 2: these are the kind of people.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And they read books on like a particular style.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like if that works for them, that's like
Speaker 1: I don't have a parenting podcast to judge other parents
Speaker 1: at all. Whatever works for you, guys is great. Like
Speaker 1: I said, I've got some free range parents friends which
Speaker 1: are great, and then I've got some really strict parents
Speaker 1: friends that also great. Their kids are great, They're great,
Speaker 1: and I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, some days I'm like I think I'm just I mean,
Speaker 2: yesterday was bad parent, Yes it was my style today
Speaker 2: and be a good one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think like we're all different. Also, kids are
Speaker 1: all different. If you've got two kids yourself, one is
Speaker 1: completely different to the other and they respond to things differently.
Speaker 1: Like Oscar will really respond when I start to raise
Speaker 1: the voice a little bit, the counting. I count to
Speaker 1: three a lot.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, a professional adrenaline of counting.
Speaker 1: And he knows Macy very different. She likes options, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so she's sassy. If you tell her to do something,
Speaker 1: she'll be like no. But if you go, okay, well
Speaker 1: you could do that or you could do this, what
Speaker 1: do you want to do? Then she'll make a decision.
Speaker 1: It usually work, or then I've got to start counting
Speaker 1: with her too, and she knows it's on crap.
Speaker 2: If he found the hardest part about parenting, I mean,
Speaker 2: you've got a toddler five year old, like you're nearly
Speaker 2: cut out of those totaling years. You've got a full
Speaker 2: blown kid. Now, what's been the hardest part from sort
Speaker 2: of sleep deprivation to tantrums?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the hardest part for us was Oscar
Speaker 1: was definitely a really really tricky baby. He had silent refluxs,
Speaker 1: all this stuff. As brand new parents, we don't know
Speaker 1: what the signs are for this stuff. So for the
Speaker 1: first five months, he slept forward minutes around the clock.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 1: So it spent two hours trying to get him to
Speaker 1: sleep forty minutes wake up screaming in pain. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: that was the hardest part.
Speaker 2: For us, because it's your first kit, you're like, it.
Speaker 1: Really took its toll on April actually, so early on
Speaker 1: we spent I think it was like eight weeks instant
Speaker 1: John of God to try and because she had post
Speaker 1: antal depression because she wasn't getting asleep. Yeah. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was to the point where I think she went to
Speaker 1: a physio appointment for separation afterwards and didn't come home. Wow,
Speaker 1: and just she said, I just circled the block for hours,
Speaker 1: like I don't want to go back in there, and
Speaker 1: we knew there was a problem.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't function with that, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So there was probably the hardest part. I think,
Speaker 1: like you can't be prepared. You just don't know what
Speaker 1: you're going to get, right, So that was the hardest
Speaker 1: part for us. And the knock on effect to me
Speaker 1: as well, which it's you know, him not sleeping for
Speaker 1: so long was just so bad for our relationship, but
Speaker 1: both our mental health. We're still recovering from it, and
Speaker 1: it's five years later, and it's also traumatizing too, because
Speaker 1: there was a point there where I didn't want to
Speaker 1: have a second child because I was like, I hated
Speaker 1: the first one.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And as horrible as that sounds to say you hated
Speaker 1: your kid, which now it makes me feel sad, but
Speaker 1: then it was the truth. I didn't want to have
Speaker 1: a second child because I'd be like, I can't do
Speaker 1: that again. Thankfully Macie was much easier.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny what you say about routine too. I
Speaker 2: find a lot of people who go to routine is
Speaker 2: important for us. They're people who know what it's like
Speaker 2: when the baby doesn't sleep, so it's like routine is
Speaker 2: the cure for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I always think if you're out and someone says
Speaker 2: I've got to go back and my baby has to
Speaker 2: have a nap, and you get some parents go on,
Speaker 2: my baby is to have a nap, I'm like, you
Speaker 2: don't understand.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go back in time. It's no sleep. It's
Speaker 1: exactly right, And like we sleep trained him and stuff
Speaker 1: a few times because obviously regression on has comes in.
Speaker 1: So we're at a point now where like both kids
Speaker 1: and I've got friends the same age kids that still
Speaker 1: have to sit in their room while the kids go
Speaker 1: to sleep. I can now just put my kids down
Speaker 1: and walk out, mainly because of how strict my wife
Speaker 1: has been with we need to keep this routine. We've
Speaker 1: just recently moved house twice in a month, and like
Speaker 1: even so there might be one night and then the
Speaker 1: next night they're back to normal because they're just so
Speaker 1: used to it, other than when they're sick, which is
Speaker 1: just another yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah week two week as well.
Speaker 2: Speaking of parenting being hard, you have a sect me
Speaker 2: us through the decision to get one.
Speaker 1: It was always April and I were going to be two.
Speaker 1: She now has said a few times she's like, oh
Speaker 1: I love a baby. I'm like, well you can still
Speaker 1: have one. It's not with me. Yeah. After the second one,
Speaker 1: it was obvious that we didn't want to go for
Speaker 1: a third. Some people might think that's selfish, but I didn't,
Speaker 1: and honestly, I stand by my decision. There was definitely
Speaker 1: a time there where I was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to lose my superpower. Yeah, but that's ridiculous really, and
Speaker 1: men still think that the biggest question I get is
Speaker 1: like do you still come?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: You idiot? God.
Speaker 2: That is because I actually don't know how.
Speaker 1: It's just a puff of air.
Speaker 2: I don't know how it works, Like what are they
Speaker 2: operating on?
Speaker 1: Okay, so I run you through it.
Speaker 2: I need to know.
Speaker 1: First of all, I didn't want to do it because
Speaker 1: I was scared. Okay, like every man is.
Speaker 2: Secretly you'll scare your wife's given birth twice.
Speaker 1: Scared exactly exactly, but also like the barsol lof if
Speaker 1: we do it, we're a hero. Yeah, yeah, but every
Speaker 1: man is scared for someone fumbling around. I did it
Speaker 1: to try and get more sex because it gets to
Speaker 1: the point where she's like, I don't you know how
Speaker 1: how else are we supposed to have? She was like, well,
Speaker 1: if you had a sex with me, we wouldn't have
Speaker 1: to use any other birth control and.
Speaker 2: Her mental load for a very long times.
Speaker 1: And look, my argument wasn't That argument was like I
Speaker 1: was just and like you men are scared. They're more
Speaker 1: scared than you think. And then yeah, book it, your
Speaker 1: book it it's pretty broutine. It's like a convey Yeah
Speaker 1: you're awake for it. Yeah, shocker, you're meant to watch
Speaker 1: this video that's like to tell you that it's actually
Speaker 1: considered the irreversible procedure. Yeah, but you can reverse it
Speaker 1: for any amount of money. You can do anything right.
Speaker 1: And you go in, there's a waiting room full of victims, as.
Speaker 2: I like to call, do you do a little nod
Speaker 2: like we all know?
Speaker 1: I went yeah, you're all like yeah. And when someone
Speaker 1: comes out and you pretty much lay on a surgical
Speaker 1: bed or whatever, they've got this big thing that goes
Speaker 1: over that has a hole in the middle of it,
Speaker 1: which is like for any surgery. They numb you up.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of awkward tugging and some the smell
Speaker 1: of burning skin.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, look honestly it's not I don't know.
Speaker 2: Would you recommend it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, totally. Yeah. I was so sweaty I stuck
Speaker 1: to the bed. Butter peeled me off afterwards. And then
Speaker 1: you go and you watch another video just because also
Speaker 1: as well, a lot of people like it's more mental
Speaker 1: for them than physical, I think, and for me not
Speaker 1: so much. I was like quite disconnected from it, and
Speaker 1: that's fine. Recovery was dumb. I got mine at four
Speaker 1: o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, and then I met the
Speaker 1: boys at.
Speaker 2: The pub celebrate.
Speaker 1: I ended up at a gay bar til about three
Speaker 1: am in the morning, and then I woke up in
Speaker 1: the morning clocked how many steps I'd done done fifteen
Speaker 1: thousand steps, and I was bruised up to my belly button.
Speaker 2: I feel like there was probably something in the paperwork
Speaker 2: about drinking. Yeah, it was the walking.
Speaker 1: Was the walking, and honestly being at a gay bar
Speaker 1: and everyone wanted to see my nuts.
Speaker 2: Didn't not today, not today?
Speaker 1: Yeah, my next time I ever got it like two
Speaker 1: weeks later, and he was like two days he was fine.
Speaker 1: So the recovery is since it's funny though once someone
Speaker 1: gets it that you know the knock on effects of
Speaker 1: everyone getting So my mother's group, which we are strong
Speaker 1: from Oscar so five years we all go away together.
Speaker 1: We just had lunch with him over the weekend, just
Speaker 1: the parents, thank god there was enough babysitters for all
Speaker 1: of us. And one of the other boys had just
Speaker 1: had it. Then there's all this negotiation between couples of
Speaker 1: if you'd get it. All the blokes is perker. We're
Speaker 1: doing this. Even some of them were booking it in
Speaker 1: at the restaurant. Wow, men are easy to manipulate.
Speaker 2: Okay, so true, and just take one for the table.
Speaker 1: Totally. The bar is so low. Take this low bar
Speaker 1: for the team. I'm glad I did it. It is
Speaker 1: funny when people still ask if you come because you do.
Speaker 2: Honestly, great piece of information.
Speaker 1: I was not sure it was fun.
Speaker 2: Can you give us a ten second play by play
Speaker 2: of the chaos of your morning before you got here?
Speaker 1: So this morning, well, let's just go back to last night.
Speaker 1: I got home about eleven thirty. Macy woke up at
Speaker 1: about twelve thirty. It took me two hours to get
Speaker 1: it back to sleep because she just has a horrific cough.
Speaker 1: She's like dry reaching yeah, yeah, yeah it was, but
Speaker 1: also like in my face, I don't want to get
Speaker 1: it straight down to kindy. One. Kindy had to get
Speaker 1: both kids out of the car obviously, and then one
Speaker 1: melting down because he didn't want to stay there. Oh
Speaker 1: do you know what he did? Actually, I forgot. He
Speaker 1: was in the back of the car and he picked
Speaker 1: a scab on his knee. Oh, so that kicked off.
Speaker 1: He was like, can you give me a bandate, bro,
Speaker 1: I'm driving. No, I would never I said, I said,
Speaker 1: I don't have one. Where am I going to get
Speaker 1: one from? And I'm driving, So there was that. And
Speaker 1: then Macy hasn't been to Kindy for two weeks, so
Speaker 1: there was a little bit of a separation anxiety there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just had to get on with it.
Speaker 2: I suppose how many hours sleep did you get?
Speaker 1: Three?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Nice? Nice, you don't feel human, You're just Yeah.
Speaker 1: We recorded a podcast this morning. Then I fell asleep
Speaker 1: on Matt's couch.
Speaker 2: Oh lovely.
Speaker 1: They got a video of me snoring, and then I
Speaker 1: got up and came here.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for making the time.
Speaker 2: We really appreciate it, and we hope you maybe can
Speaker 2: squeeze in an afternoon.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you for having me crab crap crap advice.
Speaker 2: Before we get into today's dilemma, did you know that
Speaker 2: we have an entire podcast dedicated to airing out parental
Speaker 2: related fuck ups? Claire, we haven't been guests yet, but
Speaker 2: we're bloody better be because I have a list I
Speaker 2: keep in my fie. I know, Mike, excuse me, I'm
Speaker 2: waiting for the call. I have this unlimited content. So
Speaker 2: part of our This Glorious Mes podcast, which has been
Speaker 2: a staple of the Mum and mea podcast family for
Speaker 2: a decade. Parents Anonymous is part church confessional, part game show.
Speaker 2: It's where you our listeners share your deepest, darkest parenting
Speaker 2: confessions and Annalise and Stacy score them using our completely
Speaker 2: made up scoring system. If that sounds like a bit
Speaker 2: of you, or actually, if you have one you would
Speaker 2: like to contribute, then follow the link in our show
Speaker 2: notes to listen to more new episodes that are out
Speaker 2: every other Thursday. Okay, onto today's problem. Dear Clara and Jesse.
Speaker 2: I have a ridiculous dilemma. Wow, this is a very
Speaker 2: serious show, and now you're being silly. I have a
Speaker 2: six month old and something has been playing on my mind.
Speaker 2: He looks absolutely nothing like me. I have brown hair,
Speaker 2: he's blonde. I have brown eyes, he has blue eyes.
Speaker 2: I'm short, he's really long. I like how we have
Speaker 2: Toby long not tall.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I wonder what stage you call them tall? Maybe when
Speaker 2: they're standing. There are no feature that resemble me at all.
Speaker 2: And the older he gets, the more he's looking exactly
Speaker 2: like his dad. Everyone stops to say they're twins, and
Speaker 2: I'm sick of it. I'm the one he gave her
Speaker 2: to him. I'm the one feeding him and doing the
Speaker 2: majority of the caring for him. Why does he have
Speaker 2: to be the spitting image of my husband? No, I'm kidding,
Speaker 2: it's very important. I know it's silly, but I really
Speaker 2: want him to look like me. I imagined a child
Speaker 2: with my features, and now I have a tiny version
Speaker 2: of the guy I live with. Help, Jesse, do you
Speaker 2: have any ideas?
Speaker 1: So much?
Speaker 2: Because what no one needs is two of their husband.
Speaker 2: When you go and have a baby, you don't see
Speaker 2: your husband. I'm going to give birth to another one
Speaker 2: of the guy who sneezes too loud in this home.
Speaker 2: That is a nightmare. And I often look at my
Speaker 2: husband and I say, you are Luna. Yeah, I am
Speaker 2: looking at my daughter. Do daughters want to look like
Speaker 2: their fathers? I certainly don't do. We've talked about this.
Speaker 2: When I've had a few drinks. I go into the
Speaker 2: bathroom at a bar and I cry because I say,
Speaker 2: I look like my father. Okay, Matilda doesn't look like
Speaker 2: her father. Matilda looks like her grandfather, which is maybe worse.
Speaker 2: Look this could have been written by me, and I
Speaker 2: understand why this person is upset. First order of business,
Speaker 2: and this is very serious, is to demand a maternity test.
Speaker 2: The way you do that is that you go on
Speaker 2: Maury Yovich. I wonder if Maury is still on. I
Speaker 2: don't know, doy die No, no, I think he's still alive.
Speaker 2: But it was always you are not the father. There
Speaker 2: was a man who I think fathered like four hundred
Speaker 2: children that was a real Yeah, he was always the father.
Speaker 2: That was a series, that man, he was always a father.
Speaker 2: But the producers stumbling across him, we're set for the
Speaker 2: next year and a half of episode, and just women
Speaker 2: would come forward, Yeah, my baby too, and on that,
Speaker 2: on demanding a maternity test, I would just say, are
Speaker 2: you certain you had a baby?
Speaker 1: Yep, yep.
Speaker 2: Just have a thing about that time period, because you
Speaker 2: could have got a little bit mixed up, because it
Speaker 2: doesn't sound like that baby's physically. Another way to address
Speaker 2: it would be to sue the hospital. M call the hospital,
Speaker 2: say I'm suing there's been a mix up. Waste time,
Speaker 2: waste money. Yeah, and just say I was promised a
Speaker 2: baby and what I got was a mini husband. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: And why do you do that? Why did you do that?
Speaker 2: Speak to the doctor. It also seems that your genes
Speaker 2: are I mean this word respectfully limp. And that's how
Speaker 2: I feel about my genes when it comes to my
Speaker 2: bad They got overpowered. They got overpowered. So the question is, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: the question is if we're going to go on for
Speaker 2: a second or third whatever, then what are we going
Speaker 2: to do to strengthen our genes? What are you? I'm
Speaker 2: not a doctor, but maybe take magnesia or I reckon
Speaker 2: iron would help. Yeah, super foods. Yeah. I read a
Speaker 2: lot about flax seeds, and I just think that if
Speaker 2: you had a smoothie with flax seeds, yeah, every day. Yeah,
Speaker 2: then I think your genes would be stronger and the
Speaker 2: next one would come out looking more like you. Great idea,
Speaker 2: What a great idea. Definitely something that we're aligned on
Speaker 2: is that idea of maternity. Yeah, can you prove it?
Speaker 2: Are you sure? Because I think to create chaos you
Speaker 2: actually accuse your husband or cheating.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So you say you had an affair and he's like,
Speaker 2: even if I did, what does that have to do
Speaker 2: with our baby? Well, it's not mine, it's not mine,
Speaker 2: it's hers one man who had him. But you gave birth.
Speaker 2: You can't be sure of that. M You can't be
Speaker 2: sure of that. You can only be sure if you
Speaker 2: go and get a test. Yeah, which I think is
Speaker 2: like a cheeks. Well, I've seen it in maybe some
Speaker 2: quiet documentaries. Yeah, so I think I didn't even offer it. Like,
Speaker 2: do you think a maternity test place? If you rang
Speaker 2: up and you said I'd like to do a maternity test,
Speaker 2: what do you think they'd say? Ah, I mean if
Speaker 2: you're paying for it, running out like a business, I
Speaker 2: think they'd be like, that's perfectly fine, that's absolutely fine.
Speaker 2: So definitely accuse your husband of cheating. Yeah, really, like
Speaker 2: and I reckon, like really blow things up, and then
Speaker 2: everyone's like, oh my god, like how did you catch him?
Speaker 2: And you're like, have you seen our sign? Have you
Speaker 2: seen us sign? Not my son? Everyone's like cool, They're like,
Speaker 2: we saw you pregnant. Anyway, That's just one root. Another
Speaker 2: route hair dye contacts. I've wondered this. You need to
Speaker 2: go full toddlers and tiaras with your six months old
Speaker 2: and you need to take him to the hairdresser, die
Speaker 2: his little blonde hair brown. Yep, get some brown contact
Speaker 2: lenses and then take him home and everyone will say, oh,
Speaker 2: looks like your husband, but has your coloring. M that's
Speaker 2: because it's fate my baby. A complain that I have
Speaker 2: about my little lunar is that she's quite olive. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she has some pigment unlike her mum m m. She
Speaker 2: makes me look really unwell. Yeah, I no, she does
Speaker 2: a beautiful people like in we never get a good
Speaker 2: photo of us together. Yeah, because next to her it
Speaker 2: looks like I haven't seen sunshine in two years. Whereas
Speaker 2: Matilda she glows white. She glows white. She makes you
Speaker 2: look hot, she makes it look cliet, you've just come back. Yeah, Hi, Yeah,
Speaker 2: she really really does. We hope you enjoyed this episode
Speaker 2: of The Baby Bubble and didn't find anything remotely helpful.
Speaker 2: If you enjoyed this podcast, we'd love it if you'd
Speaker 2: scroll to the part of the app you're listening on
Speaker 2: and leave a little review. The Baby Bubble is produced
Speaker 2: by Taylor Strano, with audio production by Teagan Sadler. We
Speaker 2: will see you next week. Bye bye.