1 00:00:11,229 --> 00:00:13,909 Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 2 00:00:14,829 --> 00:00:17,909 Speaker 2: Mom and Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and 3 00:00:17,949 --> 00:00:20,069 Speaker 2: waters that this podcast is recorded on. 4 00:00:20,989 --> 00:00:25,069 Speaker 1: I remember rocking with Macy and my eyes were burning 5 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:27,309 Speaker 1: because i was like so sick, and I'm looking over 6 00:00:27,349 --> 00:00:29,349 Speaker 1: at my wife and she's like, don't give her back, 7 00:00:30,309 --> 00:00:31,309 Speaker 1: don't give her back. 8 00:00:41,269 --> 00:00:44,989 Speaker 2: The Baby Bubble with Claire and Jesse Stevens. It's definitely 9 00:00:45,029 --> 00:00:50,789 Speaker 2: not a parenting advice podcast. Jess, I've noticed something about 10 00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,909 Speaker 2: my baby. I've noticed a few things about your baby, 11 00:00:52,909 --> 00:00:55,789 Speaker 2: but I choose not to say. Okay, Well, one skill 12 00:00:55,949 --> 00:01:01,509 Speaker 2: she hasn't mastered yet is acting appropriately given the circumstances. 13 00:01:01,589 --> 00:01:05,749 Speaker 2: So she can't read sort of the social environment, social cues. No, 14 00:01:05,909 --> 00:01:09,269 Speaker 2: she's inappropriate. Do you find that? She kind of like 15 00:01:09,389 --> 00:01:12,989 Speaker 2: you're sitting in a seat, then she'll start yelling, yelling, 16 00:01:13,269 --> 00:01:15,349 Speaker 2: or she can't. It's like at this dinner table, we 17 00:01:15,349 --> 00:01:17,909 Speaker 2: don't talk about politics, and she's like, who are we 18 00:01:18,029 --> 00:01:19,709 Speaker 2: voting for her? Yeah, She's like, what do you think 19 00:01:19,749 --> 00:01:22,549 Speaker 2: of Trump? And it's like Matilda. So the other week 20 00:01:22,589 --> 00:01:24,669 Speaker 2: we were in hospital and it was actually a very 21 00:01:24,669 --> 00:01:28,149 Speaker 2: scary time and it's like, Babe, you're being the drama. 22 00:01:28,149 --> 00:01:30,029 Speaker 2: You're the drama. You're here for me. We're not in 23 00:01:30,069 --> 00:01:32,189 Speaker 2: hospital for me, babe, We're in hospital for you. You're 24 00:01:32,229 --> 00:01:36,549 Speaker 2: the fuss. Like I'm crying. The nurse is silent. There's 25 00:01:36,589 --> 00:01:41,269 Speaker 2: a lot happening. Things are objectively terrible. Yeah, Matilda's clapping. Ah, 26 00:01:41,429 --> 00:01:45,789 Speaker 2: she's laughing. You came to visit us, and you correctly observed. 27 00:01:46,269 --> 00:01:47,269 Speaker 2: She thought it was a party. 28 00:01:47,589 --> 00:01:47,989 Speaker 1: She did. 29 00:01:48,429 --> 00:01:51,549 Speaker 2: She looked around the hospital waiting room and went, you 30 00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:55,749 Speaker 2: guys all here for me. I can dance. Hmm, not 31 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:59,109 Speaker 2: the vibe. The nurses would come around to check her 32 00:01:59,229 --> 00:02:02,589 Speaker 2: and she's like, guys, be honest, how great is everything? Yeah? No, 33 00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:07,269 Speaker 2: Everyone's like hmmm, no actually, And it's like there's a 34 00:02:07,309 --> 00:02:10,789 Speaker 2: newborn that has been screaming in the room next door 35 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:15,909 Speaker 2: for a day and Matilda thinks it's music. Yeah, and 36 00:02:15,949 --> 00:02:18,269 Speaker 2: he's doing a clap. No no, no, no no. We 37 00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:22,389 Speaker 2: have to have you know what an hospital demands, decorum, reverence. Yeah, 38 00:02:22,429 --> 00:02:24,269 Speaker 2: and she's a bit of reverence and I have never 39 00:02:24,309 --> 00:02:27,229 Speaker 2: seen her display any reverence. Jess. She wakes up at 40 00:02:27,309 --> 00:02:30,149 Speaker 2: three am and it's so quiet, and it's clearly a 41 00:02:30,229 --> 00:02:33,709 Speaker 2: time for sleeping, just socially vibe wise or just rest 42 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:40,069 Speaker 2: just rested. She's giggling, she's chatting. I don't know, like 43 00:02:40,109 --> 00:02:43,429 Speaker 2: a dream, she can't read a room. Maybe she has 44 00:02:43,469 --> 00:02:46,829 Speaker 2: an imaginary friend. I think always that's my worst nightmare 45 00:02:46,829 --> 00:02:51,309 Speaker 2: as a child who has a ghost, Yeah, an imaginary friend. 46 00:02:51,349 --> 00:02:54,949 Speaker 2: And they're like, yeah, she died in the Second World War. Yeah, 47 00:02:54,949 --> 00:02:57,469 Speaker 2: it's so creepy. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't told you that. 48 00:02:57,509 --> 00:02:59,069 Speaker 2: I've got an issue with Luna at the moment, which 49 00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:01,109 Speaker 2: is that every time I get into so, she's afraid 50 00:03:01,149 --> 00:03:02,909 Speaker 2: of barths. Yeah I told you about this. She's afraid 51 00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,269 Speaker 2: of bards. So we have to have a shower, and 52 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,349 Speaker 2: then we get in the shower and then she gets menipple. 53 00:03:07,789 --> 00:03:08,749 Speaker 1: I know, I know. 54 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,749 Speaker 2: And so Luca came into my after him the other 55 00:03:10,829 --> 00:03:12,949 Speaker 2: day and was like, oh, you've got your cozy out, 56 00:03:12,989 --> 00:03:14,229 Speaker 2: and I was like, yeah, I gotta wear a bikini 57 00:03:14,269 --> 00:03:17,429 Speaker 2: top in my shower now, and she gives me a 58 00:03:17,469 --> 00:03:19,789 Speaker 2: nipple cripple and I look at her and go to 59 00:03:19,869 --> 00:03:23,149 Speaker 2: be clear, I don't want to shower with you. I 60 00:03:23,229 --> 00:03:25,469 Speaker 2: wanted my own shower. I've got to wash my hair, 61 00:03:25,549 --> 00:03:28,589 Speaker 2: shave my legs. I hate this because my body's not 62 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,429 Speaker 2: under yeah, and I've got to wash you while not 63 00:03:31,509 --> 00:03:34,749 Speaker 2: dropping you while you're being a slippery lip. Yeah, and 64 00:03:34,789 --> 00:03:36,909 Speaker 2: if she's not going and then she thinks it's really funny. 65 00:03:37,029 --> 00:03:38,789 Speaker 2: The other day she discovered my belly button. Do you 66 00:03:38,789 --> 00:03:41,149 Speaker 2: know what it feels like to be poked really hard 67 00:03:41,149 --> 00:03:42,669 Speaker 2: in the belly button because it feels like it's got 68 00:03:42,709 --> 00:03:48,709 Speaker 2: some intestine or something. It's horrific. Read the cues. Our 69 00:03:48,749 --> 00:03:52,069 Speaker 2: guest this week is Ash Wicks. He is one half 70 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:55,229 Speaker 2: of the Two Doting Dads podcast, where he and Maddie 71 00:03:55,309 --> 00:03:59,629 Speaker 2: Jy swap stories about well being dad's. Ash is also 72 00:03:59,709 --> 00:04:03,389 Speaker 2: known for his online skits showing the duality of parenting 73 00:04:03,429 --> 00:04:06,469 Speaker 2: mum and dads and, most recently, because being a parent 74 00:04:06,509 --> 00:04:08,829 Speaker 2: isn't enough of a full time job. Ash has just 75 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:13,029 Speaker 2: released his first children's book with Maddy j Two Doting Dads, 76 00:04:13,309 --> 00:04:17,909 Speaker 2: The Quest for Free Time. That sounds so relatable, Ash, 77 00:04:18,109 --> 00:04:21,389 Speaker 2: Can we get a snapshot of your family? How old 78 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,029 Speaker 2: are your kids? 79 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,909 Speaker 1: I've got a boy, Oscar who's five, and I have 80 00:04:26,029 --> 00:04:30,029 Speaker 1: a daughter, Macy, who's going to be three in November. 81 00:04:30,469 --> 00:04:31,629 Speaker 2: So what's the age? Yeah? 82 00:04:31,789 --> 00:04:34,509 Speaker 1: Bit over two, it's a little bit over to yeah, yeah, 83 00:04:34,589 --> 00:04:35,989 Speaker 1: yeah two and done. 84 00:04:38,549 --> 00:04:41,109 Speaker 2: That seems to be a trend. You're known for your 85 00:04:41,189 --> 00:04:43,829 Speaker 2: viral videos on Instagram and TikTok. I see them a lot, 86 00:04:44,149 --> 00:04:47,109 Speaker 2: and it's a lot about parenting and the relationship between 87 00:04:47,309 --> 00:04:49,709 Speaker 2: sort of a husband and wife after kids. And one 88 00:04:49,829 --> 00:04:53,309 Speaker 2: that I saw recently was about an example of you've 89 00:04:53,429 --> 00:04:55,749 Speaker 2: dropped your kid off at daycare and your wife has 90 00:04:55,789 --> 00:04:59,229 Speaker 2: some questions. What are some differences between how you might 91 00:04:59,349 --> 00:05:01,389 Speaker 2: drop the kids off at daycare and how your wife 92 00:05:01,429 --> 00:05:01,989 Speaker 2: would drop. 93 00:05:01,949 --> 00:05:03,989 Speaker 1: Look, I'm known for a very quick drop. 94 00:05:03,749 --> 00:05:07,909 Speaker 2: Off, dry by, kick him out pretty much pretty much. 95 00:05:07,949 --> 00:05:11,829 Speaker 1: Carstill moving, Try like I did the double drop off 96 00:05:11,869 --> 00:05:14,109 Speaker 1: this morning because my wife's sick and they go to 97 00:05:14,109 --> 00:05:17,829 Speaker 1: two different daycares. Oscar's a like a daycare, Maye's more 98 00:05:17,869 --> 00:05:20,109 Speaker 1: of a kindy. I don't even know really the difference, 99 00:05:20,149 --> 00:05:21,789 Speaker 1: but I know one of them they feed them and 100 00:05:21,829 --> 00:05:23,629 Speaker 1: the other one I've got to provide the food. Oh, 101 00:05:25,029 --> 00:05:28,269 Speaker 1: one one they get fed, yeah, but the fees are ridiculous, 102 00:05:28,669 --> 00:05:32,709 Speaker 1: but the other one is free. Thankfully my kids are indigenous, 103 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,509 Speaker 1: so they also get a little bit of benefit there. 104 00:05:35,389 --> 00:05:38,509 Speaker 1: And really yeah oh wow, yeah, so it's a community 105 00:05:38,549 --> 00:05:40,709 Speaker 1: one and they're like really great, Oh well. 106 00:05:40,829 --> 00:05:43,909 Speaker 2: That's fantastic, that's awesome. Do you ever accidentally pack a 107 00:05:43,949 --> 00:05:45,629 Speaker 2: meal for the kid that gets a meal so one's 108 00:05:45,629 --> 00:05:46,189 Speaker 2: getting two? 109 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,629 Speaker 1: No, but I do forget it and then I've got 110 00:05:49,629 --> 00:05:53,069 Speaker 1: to go home. Yeah, but my drop off, I've mastered it. 111 00:05:53,429 --> 00:05:57,549 Speaker 1: Don't look back. He's a good one. But I think 112 00:05:57,629 --> 00:05:59,509 Speaker 1: like the kindis in the daycares that my kid go 113 00:05:59,549 --> 00:06:03,069 Speaker 1: to are really good at like diffusing where it can 114 00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:06,389 Speaker 1: go wrong. So like Oscar, he's kindy. They've got like 115 00:06:06,429 --> 00:06:08,229 Speaker 1: a waving tree, so it's like you raise him and 116 00:06:08,269 --> 00:06:10,869 Speaker 1: he's a boy, so everything has to be fast. Who's 117 00:06:10,909 --> 00:06:14,229 Speaker 1: the fastest? Yea, And I'll race you to the tree 118 00:06:14,469 --> 00:06:17,949 Speaker 1: and I'm on the other side of the fences too late. Yeah, 119 00:06:18,389 --> 00:06:20,829 Speaker 1: So this morning we were pretty seamless, except that I 120 00:06:20,909 --> 00:06:23,189 Speaker 1: can't drop one off without taking the other one like 121 00:06:23,309 --> 00:06:25,469 Speaker 1: completely in and letting them have a walk around as well. 122 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,549 Speaker 1: And when you're in a rash sometimes that's usually when 123 00:06:27,549 --> 00:06:30,829 Speaker 1: they're like, I go, bit, now, we'll good this morning. 124 00:06:30,829 --> 00:06:33,069 Speaker 1: And my wife is very different to that, where it's 125 00:06:33,069 --> 00:06:35,389 Speaker 1: like it's she's going to go in make sure everything 126 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:39,109 Speaker 1: is okay. Yeah, yeah, And you see the difference. Even 127 00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:40,989 Speaker 1: for me, I'll walk in the same time as another 128 00:06:41,029 --> 00:06:44,229 Speaker 1: parent and I'm way out the door before they even 129 00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:45,149 Speaker 1: get close to the door. 130 00:06:46,509 --> 00:06:47,509 Speaker 2: Is it intentional? 131 00:06:47,749 --> 00:06:48,269 Speaker 1: Are you like? 132 00:06:48,389 --> 00:06:51,149 Speaker 2: I won't engage because then I'm setting quite a high 133 00:06:51,229 --> 00:06:56,069 Speaker 2: standard for myself. So if I just do the then they'll. 134 00:06:55,829 --> 00:06:59,349 Speaker 1: Never expect to I'll yeah, look, there's definitely a hug. 135 00:06:59,989 --> 00:07:03,389 Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong. It's not like out of there. 136 00:07:03,469 --> 00:07:07,429 Speaker 1: It's look, I always like give them a hug. And 137 00:07:07,869 --> 00:07:10,589 Speaker 1: if they're really bad and they're really unsettle, I do 138 00:07:10,749 --> 00:07:13,709 Speaker 1: turn into a softy. I have gone back and picked 139 00:07:13,709 --> 00:07:16,149 Speaker 1: Oscar up. I've seen him through the fence and I 140 00:07:16,189 --> 00:07:18,029 Speaker 1: was like, nah, I can't do it. And we did 141 00:07:18,069 --> 00:07:20,989 Speaker 1: an episode about that where I was like, I'd never 142 00:07:21,029 --> 00:07:24,549 Speaker 1: seen him like that, and I went grabbed him. We 143 00:07:24,589 --> 00:07:27,509 Speaker 1: actually sat down in a separate part of the playground 144 00:07:27,749 --> 00:07:29,789 Speaker 1: and I think that day all of his friends that 145 00:07:29,869 --> 00:07:33,469 Speaker 1: he would usually click with weren't there. And yeah, it 146 00:07:33,629 --> 00:07:35,549 Speaker 1: just broke my heart and I just put him back 147 00:07:35,549 --> 00:07:36,909 Speaker 1: in the car and he spent the day with me. 148 00:07:37,229 --> 00:07:38,589 Speaker 2: Oh, I was going to say, did you spend the 149 00:07:38,629 --> 00:07:42,749 Speaker 2: day day care? Your friends aren't here, don't worry. 150 00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:45,469 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think he just came home with me and 151 00:07:45,469 --> 00:07:47,669 Speaker 1: we just did some stuff and I think he just 152 00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:49,669 Speaker 1: pretty much watched me work. 153 00:07:49,429 --> 00:07:50,909 Speaker 2: And I stood off. 154 00:07:50,989 --> 00:07:51,389 Speaker 1: Yeah. 155 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:52,189 Speaker 2: So yeah. 156 00:07:52,349 --> 00:07:54,269 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I try and set that 157 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:57,589 Speaker 1: everything's fine, everything's going to be fine, and they know that, 158 00:07:57,869 --> 00:08:00,349 Speaker 1: and I think sometimes they just want to test you 159 00:08:00,389 --> 00:08:02,469 Speaker 1: as well, and they're like, well, what can I get 160 00:08:02,469 --> 00:08:05,949 Speaker 1: away with? Majority of the time, if there's a teacher there, 161 00:08:05,989 --> 00:08:07,589 Speaker 1: they really love. It's really seamless. 162 00:08:08,109 --> 00:08:11,509 Speaker 2: Speaking of work, you recently wrote a children's book. 163 00:08:11,629 --> 00:08:11,909 Speaker 1: I did. 164 00:08:11,989 --> 00:08:14,709 Speaker 2: Yeah, what do they think of it? Are they giving 165 00:08:14,749 --> 00:08:16,189 Speaker 2: it reviews? Do they have some feedback? 166 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,389 Speaker 1: What do they think? They're a bit rattled because they 167 00:08:19,429 --> 00:08:21,509 Speaker 1: don't know why their friends aren't in kids books because 168 00:08:21,509 --> 00:08:24,029 Speaker 1: they're in the book. I've given one to the daycare 169 00:08:24,069 --> 00:08:25,909 Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and they read it to the 170 00:08:26,029 --> 00:08:27,949 Speaker 1: kids and all that sort of stuff. And my kids 171 00:08:27,989 --> 00:08:30,549 Speaker 1: are like, why aren't they? And I'm like, oh, what 172 00:08:30,589 --> 00:08:33,029 Speaker 1: have I done? But at the same time, I'm like, 173 00:08:34,069 --> 00:08:36,589 Speaker 1: that's really cool. They really love it. They know the 174 00:08:36,629 --> 00:08:38,829 Speaker 1: story inside and out now, so I can't skip pages 175 00:08:38,869 --> 00:08:42,149 Speaker 1: at bedtime. It's really slowed down the bedtime read because 176 00:08:42,149 --> 00:08:43,909 Speaker 1: they like to point out everything they're in it, and 177 00:08:43,949 --> 00:08:46,909 Speaker 1: there's all I feel like there's a lot of illustration 178 00:08:47,029 --> 00:08:48,629 Speaker 1: in it and a lot of for the kids to 179 00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,669 Speaker 1: find something they didn't see the first time. 180 00:08:50,909 --> 00:08:54,909 Speaker 2: Yeah, a narcissism of kids. I know it's about it. 181 00:08:54,949 --> 00:08:56,109 Speaker 1: Do you slow me down? 182 00:08:57,229 --> 00:09:00,349 Speaker 2: And your little boy did he go as you for bookquick? 183 00:09:00,469 --> 00:09:00,829 Speaker 1: He did? 184 00:09:00,909 --> 00:09:02,389 Speaker 2: Yeah? And how did that feel? 185 00:09:02,549 --> 00:09:06,829 Speaker 1: It wasn't forced, it was actually his idea. Where I 186 00:09:06,909 --> 00:09:10,509 Speaker 1: was away, we did the book launch that week, and 187 00:09:10,509 --> 00:09:12,269 Speaker 1: we did a couple of pr things and I was 188 00:09:12,309 --> 00:09:14,149 Speaker 1: in Perth. My wife message me and she said, he 189 00:09:14,189 --> 00:09:17,029 Speaker 1: wants to go as you to book week this week. 190 00:09:17,069 --> 00:09:19,149 Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, I'm not back till Monday night 191 00:09:19,549 --> 00:09:21,189 Speaker 1: and he' She's like, well it's later in the week, 192 00:09:21,229 --> 00:09:22,429 Speaker 1: so you can get back and sort of out. And 193 00:09:22,469 --> 00:09:25,549 Speaker 1: I painted and drew some tatooes all because the book 194 00:09:25,629 --> 00:09:29,149 Speaker 1: illustrated was great. He wanted photo evidence of all my 195 00:09:29,189 --> 00:09:31,869 Speaker 1: tatooes to try and line them up, which was really cool. 196 00:09:31,909 --> 00:09:33,869 Speaker 1: I thought that was really cool. They're not like perfect, 197 00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:35,709 Speaker 1: but a lot of them are like all the same shape. 198 00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:37,429 Speaker 1: So I did what I could on him that. 199 00:09:37,429 --> 00:09:39,549 Speaker 2: Was similar, and oh my goodness. 200 00:09:39,629 --> 00:09:42,109 Speaker 1: Yeah, he loved it and like the kids at his 201 00:09:42,229 --> 00:09:44,589 Speaker 1: kindy sort of understood, but they were also they all 202 00:09:44,589 --> 00:09:47,109 Speaker 1: went as like, you know, superheroes and princesses and stuff, 203 00:09:47,149 --> 00:09:48,829 Speaker 1: and he said a couple of kids laughed at them, 204 00:09:48,829 --> 00:09:50,549 Speaker 1: and I was just like, just ask him where their 205 00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:50,949 Speaker 1: book is. 206 00:09:51,869 --> 00:09:54,269 Speaker 2: That's the thing. It's a really easy thing, I think, 207 00:09:54,309 --> 00:09:57,629 Speaker 2: to teach your kid how to bully others, because it's like, well, 208 00:09:57,669 --> 00:10:00,429 Speaker 2: you're not in a kid's book, and your dad didn't 209 00:10:00,429 --> 00:10:04,269 Speaker 2: write a book. What is your dad do? Yeah, yeah, exactly. 210 00:10:04,709 --> 00:10:08,389 Speaker 2: That's a neurosurgeon. Shit, sounds like a loser. 211 00:10:08,789 --> 00:10:10,909 Speaker 1: So he's got a heap of money. 212 00:10:17,469 --> 00:10:22,269 Speaker 2: Asking for a friend. When you do your viral videos 213 00:10:22,509 --> 00:10:25,229 Speaker 2: and you're doing a bit of an impersonation if your wife, 214 00:10:25,789 --> 00:10:28,709 Speaker 2: do you ever cross the line and end up having 215 00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:29,469 Speaker 2: a fight about it? 216 00:10:29,709 --> 00:10:32,349 Speaker 1: Never, We've never once. She actually does all my spell checking. 217 00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:34,629 Speaker 1: Really yeah, so if there's a video that goes up 218 00:10:34,629 --> 00:10:37,309 Speaker 1: with there's a spelling mistake, she didn't check it. Okay, 219 00:10:37,589 --> 00:10:42,349 Speaker 1: But I think when I first started on that journey, yeah, 220 00:10:42,469 --> 00:10:45,309 Speaker 1: I didn't want to make fun of the relationship or 221 00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:47,709 Speaker 1: I didn't want it to be a slapstick humor. I 222 00:10:47,749 --> 00:10:49,589 Speaker 1: wanted it to be the tiny little moment that you 223 00:10:49,629 --> 00:10:52,509 Speaker 1: have with someone that you don't think everyone else is having, 224 00:10:52,709 --> 00:10:54,509 Speaker 1: and then when you see someone else have that moment, 225 00:10:54,549 --> 00:10:55,629 Speaker 1: you're like, ah, shit. 226 00:10:55,869 --> 00:10:57,069 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all about. 227 00:10:56,829 --> 00:10:59,269 Speaker 1: We're all having that. We're the biggest compliment I get 228 00:10:59,309 --> 00:11:00,949 Speaker 1: is when people say do you live with us? They go, 229 00:11:00,989 --> 00:11:03,109 Speaker 1: do you live with us? And that happens all the time, 230 00:11:03,349 --> 00:11:06,069 Speaker 1: and some people misinterpret it and think that I'm making 231 00:11:06,109 --> 00:11:08,109 Speaker 1: fun of her, but she absolutely loves it. 232 00:11:08,229 --> 00:11:10,509 Speaker 2: What I love is it it's the subtle dig because 233 00:11:10,509 --> 00:11:13,309 Speaker 2: I think as a parent, you realize you're sleep deprived, 234 00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:15,869 Speaker 2: you've had a rough way, and there's one person you 235 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,789 Speaker 2: can take it out. Yeah, you get away with one. Yeah, 236 00:11:18,829 --> 00:11:21,309 Speaker 2: you get away with two. It's normally about the third 237 00:11:21,349 --> 00:11:23,909 Speaker 2: that your partner turns around and goes, you're just being 238 00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:26,349 Speaker 2: a bitch today. Yeah, yeah, I probably am. Do you 239 00:11:26,389 --> 00:11:28,189 Speaker 2: find that that there are subtle digs you can get 240 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,389 Speaker 2: away with? Like comments there was a great one that 241 00:11:30,429 --> 00:11:32,389 Speaker 2: you did about For example, when you try and have 242 00:11:32,429 --> 00:11:36,269 Speaker 2: two activities in one day. Oh yeah, the audacity. 243 00:11:35,589 --> 00:11:37,189 Speaker 1: To don't go for a serve and go to the 244 00:11:37,189 --> 00:11:41,349 Speaker 1: gym at the same time. Absolutely, unless you get two 245 00:11:41,389 --> 00:11:44,789 Speaker 1: times away as well. It's not Also another one is 246 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:48,269 Speaker 1: doing the grocery shop alone. Yeah, and you're like, ah, 247 00:11:48,429 --> 00:11:50,669 Speaker 1: I'll do the shopping. It's like no, no, no, no, no, 248 00:11:51,549 --> 00:11:55,109 Speaker 1: I'm doing it. Or it's like take a kid, which 249 00:11:55,149 --> 00:12:00,389 Speaker 1: one do you want? Which one is the less Wingey wants? 250 00:12:00,749 --> 00:12:03,349 Speaker 2: It's a very different task that way. I want to 251 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,469 Speaker 2: know how you would describe your parenting style. 252 00:12:06,669 --> 00:12:09,709 Speaker 1: I'd like to say relaxed. I'm not overly strict with 253 00:12:09,749 --> 00:12:12,269 Speaker 1: my kids. I like them to show people respect, of course, 254 00:12:12,389 --> 00:12:14,469 Speaker 1: like even at the young age, like the please and 255 00:12:14,549 --> 00:12:17,029 Speaker 1: thank you are really obvious in my house. But also 256 00:12:17,269 --> 00:12:20,069 Speaker 1: the swearing is pretty obvious in my house. I'm not 257 00:12:20,229 --> 00:12:22,109 Speaker 1: one of those parents who's I can't swear around my 258 00:12:22,149 --> 00:12:24,349 Speaker 1: kids because if I do that, I feel like they're 259 00:12:24,349 --> 00:12:25,669 Speaker 1: gonna know it's a bad thing and they're going to 260 00:12:25,709 --> 00:12:26,469 Speaker 1: do it pat my back. 261 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,749 Speaker 2: True, they're gonna be the kid that comes to school 262 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:29,949 Speaker 2: and yeah, dropping it. 263 00:12:30,109 --> 00:12:31,989 Speaker 1: That's why I was. My parents never swore in front 264 00:12:32,029 --> 00:12:34,469 Speaker 1: of me, and I got in trouble for swearing because 265 00:12:34,509 --> 00:12:36,989 Speaker 1: I thought I was really cool to swear. But Oscar 266 00:12:37,349 --> 00:12:40,149 Speaker 1: and Macy both know what the bad words are, and 267 00:12:40,189 --> 00:12:41,869 Speaker 1: if one of them drops it, the other one always 268 00:12:41,909 --> 00:12:43,989 Speaker 1: dobs on the other one. But they know not to 269 00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:47,629 Speaker 1: say that because I don't watch my language as much 270 00:12:47,629 --> 00:12:50,229 Speaker 1: as other parents would expect me to or want me to. 271 00:12:50,829 --> 00:12:52,829 Speaker 1: I think like a fond memory for us. We're on 272 00:12:52,909 --> 00:12:55,749 Speaker 1: a family trip, like an extended family trip in Fiji, 273 00:12:56,149 --> 00:12:58,869 Speaker 1: wire around like the family pool that's at the resort. 274 00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:00,949 Speaker 1: It was great, everyone was there, There's all these kids there, 275 00:13:01,149 --> 00:13:03,869 Speaker 1: there's those pool noodles, and Oscar picks up a pool noodle, 276 00:13:04,469 --> 00:13:05,989 Speaker 1: rests on the side of the pool and just goes 277 00:13:06,109 --> 00:13:10,989 Speaker 1: fox safe. And that is exactly what my wife says 278 00:13:11,149 --> 00:13:15,109 Speaker 1: all the time. That's her go to and it's usually 279 00:13:15,109 --> 00:13:20,349 Speaker 1: in the car or something. So yeah, and look, they 280 00:13:20,389 --> 00:13:23,109 Speaker 1: know it's a bad word, which is what I wanted, 281 00:13:23,309 --> 00:13:26,909 Speaker 1: so that they know. If my kid's frustrated and he's 282 00:13:27,029 --> 00:13:32,669 Speaker 1: angry and he needs to curse to bring himself back down, bro, 283 00:13:32,829 --> 00:13:35,029 Speaker 1: go into your room and do it. But if I 284 00:13:35,069 --> 00:13:38,589 Speaker 1: hear you ever say something to someone like then that's 285 00:13:38,629 --> 00:13:40,749 Speaker 1: when it's going to be a problem. I've got some 286 00:13:40,829 --> 00:13:43,909 Speaker 1: friends that are like really like free range parents that 287 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:47,389 Speaker 1: let the kids fall asleep river. We're pretty routine as 288 00:13:47,429 --> 00:13:49,709 Speaker 1: best as possible, and that's sounds that's my wife. Really, 289 00:13:49,749 --> 00:13:51,149 Speaker 1: I'm just following along. 290 00:13:51,349 --> 00:13:52,589 Speaker 2: Yeah. 291 00:13:55,949 --> 00:14:00,469 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I never categorize myself in a particular type 292 00:14:00,509 --> 00:14:03,509 Speaker 1: of parenting. I feel like I'm not a professional at it. 293 00:14:04,029 --> 00:14:06,989 Speaker 1: I'm just doing my best every day. And there's days 294 00:14:06,989 --> 00:14:09,229 Speaker 1: where I'll look back and I'll go, why the fuck 295 00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:11,389 Speaker 1: did I do that? Of why did I say that? 296 00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:14,549 Speaker 1: Or what could I have done better? For sure, and 297 00:14:14,589 --> 00:14:15,869 Speaker 1: that's going to be different every week. 298 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,869 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's weird. It feels like as a parent, like 299 00:14:19,069 --> 00:14:22,629 Speaker 2: I don't remember making any decisions about how i'd parent. 300 00:14:22,709 --> 00:14:23,309 Speaker 1: You just do. 301 00:14:23,669 --> 00:14:26,549 Speaker 2: You never sit down and have a meeting and think, Okay, 302 00:14:26,629 --> 00:14:27,909 Speaker 2: these are the kind of people. 303 00:14:29,029 --> 00:14:29,269 Speaker 1: Yeah. 304 00:14:29,789 --> 00:14:31,909 Speaker 2: And they read books on like a particular style. 305 00:14:32,109 --> 00:14:34,909 Speaker 1: Yeah, and like if that works for them, that's like 306 00:14:34,989 --> 00:14:37,509 Speaker 1: I don't have a parenting podcast to judge other parents 307 00:14:37,549 --> 00:14:40,749 Speaker 1: at all. Whatever works for you, guys is great. Like 308 00:14:40,829 --> 00:14:42,909 Speaker 1: I said, I've got some free range parents friends which 309 00:14:42,989 --> 00:14:46,029 Speaker 1: are great, and then I've got some really strict parents 310 00:14:46,069 --> 00:14:49,069 Speaker 1: friends that also great. Their kids are great, They're great, 311 00:14:49,229 --> 00:14:49,789 Speaker 1: and I love that. 312 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,949 Speaker 2: Yeah, some days I'm like I think I'm just I mean, 313 00:14:52,029 --> 00:14:56,229 Speaker 2: yesterday was bad parent, Yes it was my style today 314 00:14:56,269 --> 00:14:56,829 Speaker 2: and be a good one. 315 00:14:57,109 --> 00:15:00,149 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think like we're all different. Also, kids are 316 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,909 Speaker 1: all different. If you've got two kids yourself, one is 317 00:15:02,949 --> 00:15:06,309 Speaker 1: completely different to the other and they respond to things differently. 318 00:15:06,389 --> 00:15:09,949 Speaker 1: Like Oscar will really respond when I start to raise 319 00:15:10,229 --> 00:15:13,829 Speaker 1: the voice a little bit, the counting. I count to 320 00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:14,349 Speaker 1: three a lot. 321 00:15:14,549 --> 00:15:17,469 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, a professional adrenaline of counting. 322 00:15:18,029 --> 00:15:23,749 Speaker 1: And he knows Macy very different. She likes options, right, Yeah, 323 00:15:23,869 --> 00:15:28,029 Speaker 1: so she's sassy. If you tell her to do something, 324 00:15:28,069 --> 00:15:29,789 Speaker 1: she'll be like no. But if you go, okay, well 325 00:15:29,789 --> 00:15:31,629 Speaker 1: you could do that or you could do this, what 326 00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,909 Speaker 1: do you want to do? Then she'll make a decision. 327 00:15:33,989 --> 00:15:37,069 Speaker 1: It usually work, or then I've got to start counting 328 00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:39,109 Speaker 1: with her too, and she knows it's on crap. 329 00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:43,829 Speaker 2: If he found the hardest part about parenting, I mean, 330 00:15:43,869 --> 00:15:46,189 Speaker 2: you've got a toddler five year old, like you're nearly 331 00:15:46,229 --> 00:15:47,949 Speaker 2: cut out of those totaling years. You've got a full 332 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,829 Speaker 2: blown kid. Now, what's been the hardest part from sort 333 00:15:50,829 --> 00:15:53,549 Speaker 2: of sleep deprivation to tantrums? 334 00:15:53,989 --> 00:15:57,469 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the hardest part for us was Oscar 335 00:15:57,629 --> 00:16:03,029 Speaker 1: was definitely a really really tricky baby. He had silent refluxs, 336 00:16:03,069 --> 00:16:05,549 Speaker 1: all this stuff. As brand new parents, we don't know 337 00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:07,349 Speaker 1: what the signs are for this stuff. So for the 338 00:16:07,429 --> 00:16:11,229 Speaker 1: first five months, he slept forward minutes around the clock. 339 00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:12,229 Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow. 340 00:16:12,269 --> 00:16:13,909 Speaker 1: So it spent two hours trying to get him to 341 00:16:13,949 --> 00:16:18,149 Speaker 1: sleep forty minutes wake up screaming in pain. Yeah. So 342 00:16:18,309 --> 00:16:19,869 Speaker 1: that was the hardest part. 343 00:16:19,669 --> 00:16:23,069 Speaker 2: For us, because it's your first kit, you're like, it. 344 00:16:23,469 --> 00:16:27,669 Speaker 1: Really took its toll on April actually, so early on 345 00:16:27,749 --> 00:16:31,389 Speaker 1: we spent I think it was like eight weeks instant 346 00:16:31,429 --> 00:16:34,869 Speaker 1: John of God to try and because she had post 347 00:16:34,909 --> 00:16:37,789 Speaker 1: antal depression because she wasn't getting asleep. Yeah. Yeah, it 348 00:16:37,869 --> 00:16:39,429 Speaker 1: was to the point where I think she went to 349 00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:44,429 Speaker 1: a physio appointment for separation afterwards and didn't come home. Wow, 350 00:16:44,589 --> 00:16:46,869 Speaker 1: and just she said, I just circled the block for hours, 351 00:16:46,949 --> 00:16:48,589 Speaker 1: like I don't want to go back in there, and 352 00:16:48,669 --> 00:16:49,589 Speaker 1: we knew there was a problem. 353 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,669 Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't function with that, yeah, absolutely. 354 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:55,109 Speaker 1: Yeah, So there was probably the hardest part. I think, 355 00:16:55,189 --> 00:16:57,549 Speaker 1: like you can't be prepared. You just don't know what 356 00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:59,709 Speaker 1: you're going to get, right, So that was the hardest 357 00:16:59,709 --> 00:17:01,909 Speaker 1: part for us. And the knock on effect to me 358 00:17:01,989 --> 00:17:04,349 Speaker 1: as well, which it's you know, him not sleeping for 359 00:17:04,389 --> 00:17:06,669 Speaker 1: so long was just so bad for our relationship, but 360 00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:09,469 Speaker 1: both our mental health. We're still recovering from it, and 361 00:17:09,509 --> 00:17:13,229 Speaker 1: it's five years later, and it's also traumatizing too, because 362 00:17:13,269 --> 00:17:15,109 Speaker 1: there was a point there where I didn't want to 363 00:17:15,109 --> 00:17:18,749 Speaker 1: have a second child because I was like, I hated 364 00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:19,349 Speaker 1: the first one. 365 00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:20,509 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. 366 00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:23,389 Speaker 1: And as horrible as that sounds to say you hated 367 00:17:23,429 --> 00:17:25,269 Speaker 1: your kid, which now it makes me feel sad, but 368 00:17:25,309 --> 00:17:27,789 Speaker 1: then it was the truth. I didn't want to have 369 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:29,749 Speaker 1: a second child because I'd be like, I can't do 370 00:17:29,789 --> 00:17:32,269 Speaker 1: that again. Thankfully Macie was much easier. 371 00:17:33,109 --> 00:17:35,149 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny what you say about routine too. I 372 00:17:35,189 --> 00:17:37,109 Speaker 2: find a lot of people who go to routine is 373 00:17:37,109 --> 00:17:39,109 Speaker 2: important for us. They're people who know what it's like 374 00:17:39,149 --> 00:17:41,749 Speaker 2: when the baby doesn't sleep, so it's like routine is 375 00:17:41,789 --> 00:17:43,069 Speaker 2: the cure for that. 376 00:17:43,389 --> 00:17:43,589 Speaker 1: Yeah. 377 00:17:43,589 --> 00:17:45,269 Speaker 2: And I always think if you're out and someone says 378 00:17:45,269 --> 00:17:46,789 Speaker 2: I've got to go back and my baby has to 379 00:17:46,829 --> 00:17:48,229 Speaker 2: have a nap, and you get some parents go on, 380 00:17:48,389 --> 00:17:49,589 Speaker 2: my baby is to have a nap, I'm like, you 381 00:17:49,589 --> 00:17:50,269 Speaker 2: don't understand. 382 00:17:51,429 --> 00:17:54,349 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go back in time. It's no sleep. It's 383 00:17:56,469 --> 00:17:59,549 Speaker 1: exactly right, And like we sleep trained him and stuff 384 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,389 Speaker 1: a few times because obviously regression on has comes in. 385 00:18:02,509 --> 00:18:06,029 Speaker 1: So we're at a point now where like both kids 386 00:18:06,229 --> 00:18:08,389 Speaker 1: and I've got friends the same age kids that still 387 00:18:08,389 --> 00:18:09,789 Speaker 1: have to sit in their room while the kids go 388 00:18:09,829 --> 00:18:12,069 Speaker 1: to sleep. I can now just put my kids down 389 00:18:12,189 --> 00:18:15,069 Speaker 1: and walk out, mainly because of how strict my wife 390 00:18:15,109 --> 00:18:17,589 Speaker 1: has been with we need to keep this routine. We've 391 00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:21,149 Speaker 1: just recently moved house twice in a month, and like 392 00:18:21,469 --> 00:18:24,029 Speaker 1: even so there might be one night and then the 393 00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:25,949 Speaker 1: next night they're back to normal because they're just so 394 00:18:26,149 --> 00:18:28,229 Speaker 1: used to it, other than when they're sick, which is 395 00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:31,829 Speaker 1: just another yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah week two week as well. 396 00:18:32,229 --> 00:18:35,829 Speaker 2: Speaking of parenting being hard, you have a sect me 397 00:18:37,309 --> 00:18:39,229 Speaker 2: us through the decision to get one. 398 00:18:39,469 --> 00:18:41,549 Speaker 1: It was always April and I were going to be two. 399 00:18:42,229 --> 00:18:44,429 Speaker 1: She now has said a few times she's like, oh 400 00:18:44,429 --> 00:18:48,269 Speaker 1: I love a baby. I'm like, well you can still 401 00:18:48,269 --> 00:18:53,269 Speaker 1: have one. It's not with me. Yeah. After the second one, 402 00:18:53,309 --> 00:18:55,749 Speaker 1: it was obvious that we didn't want to go for 403 00:18:55,789 --> 00:18:58,989 Speaker 1: a third. Some people might think that's selfish, but I didn't, 404 00:18:59,549 --> 00:19:03,469 Speaker 1: and honestly, I stand by my decision. There was definitely 405 00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:05,269 Speaker 1: a time there where I was like, I don't want 406 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:09,749 Speaker 1: to lose my superpower. Yeah, but that's ridiculous really, and 407 00:19:09,789 --> 00:19:12,949 Speaker 1: men still think that the biggest question I get is 408 00:19:12,949 --> 00:19:13,629 Speaker 1: like do you still come? 409 00:19:15,429 --> 00:19:15,669 Speaker 2: Yes? 410 00:19:15,749 --> 00:19:17,629 Speaker 1: You idiot? God. 411 00:19:18,029 --> 00:19:20,469 Speaker 2: That is because I actually don't know how. 412 00:19:20,669 --> 00:19:21,829 Speaker 1: It's just a puff of air. 413 00:19:23,509 --> 00:19:27,349 Speaker 2: I don't know how it works, Like what are they 414 00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:28,429 Speaker 2: operating on? 415 00:19:28,589 --> 00:19:30,549 Speaker 1: Okay, so I run you through it. 416 00:19:30,709 --> 00:19:31,309 Speaker 2: I need to know. 417 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,869 Speaker 1: First of all, I didn't want to do it because 418 00:19:33,909 --> 00:19:36,429 Speaker 1: I was scared. Okay, like every man is. 419 00:19:36,629 --> 00:19:39,149 Speaker 2: Secretly you'll scare your wife's given birth twice. 420 00:19:39,309 --> 00:19:42,469 Speaker 1: Scared exactly exactly, but also like the barsol lof if 421 00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:45,589 Speaker 1: we do it, we're a hero. Yeah, yeah, but every 422 00:19:45,669 --> 00:19:49,669 Speaker 1: man is scared for someone fumbling around. I did it 423 00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,949 Speaker 1: to try and get more sex because it gets to 424 00:19:51,949 --> 00:19:54,789 Speaker 1: the point where she's like, I don't you know how 425 00:19:54,829 --> 00:19:57,909 Speaker 1: how else are we supposed to have? She was like, well, 426 00:19:57,989 --> 00:19:59,589 Speaker 1: if you had a sex with me, we wouldn't have 427 00:19:59,629 --> 00:20:01,189 Speaker 1: to use any other birth control and. 428 00:20:02,029 --> 00:20:06,069 Speaker 2: Her mental load for a very long times. 429 00:20:06,109 --> 00:20:09,629 Speaker 1: And look, my argument wasn't That argument was like I 430 00:20:09,669 --> 00:20:12,189 Speaker 1: was just and like you men are scared. They're more 431 00:20:12,189 --> 00:20:15,749 Speaker 1: scared than you think. And then yeah, book it, your 432 00:20:15,749 --> 00:20:19,989 Speaker 1: book it it's pretty broutine. It's like a convey Yeah 433 00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:25,029 Speaker 1: you're awake for it. Yeah, shocker, you're meant to watch 434 00:20:25,069 --> 00:20:27,189 Speaker 1: this video that's like to tell you that it's actually 435 00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:30,949 Speaker 1: considered the irreversible procedure. Yeah, but you can reverse it 436 00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:32,909 Speaker 1: for any amount of money. You can do anything right. 437 00:20:33,509 --> 00:20:37,029 Speaker 1: And you go in, there's a waiting room full of victims, as. 438 00:20:36,949 --> 00:20:39,709 Speaker 2: I like to call, do you do a little nod 439 00:20:39,829 --> 00:20:40,309 Speaker 2: like we all know? 440 00:20:40,349 --> 00:20:45,709 Speaker 1: I went yeah, you're all like yeah. And when someone 441 00:20:45,789 --> 00:20:51,629 Speaker 1: comes out and you pretty much lay on a surgical 442 00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:54,069 Speaker 1: bed or whatever, they've got this big thing that goes 443 00:20:54,109 --> 00:20:55,429 Speaker 1: over that has a hole in the middle of it, 444 00:20:55,509 --> 00:20:59,109 Speaker 1: which is like for any surgery. They numb you up. 445 00:20:59,149 --> 00:21:01,229 Speaker 1: There's a lot of awkward tugging and some the smell 446 00:21:01,269 --> 00:21:01,989 Speaker 1: of burning skin. 447 00:21:02,349 --> 00:21:04,549 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. 448 00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:07,109 Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, look honestly it's not I don't know. 449 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:08,309 Speaker 2: Would you recommend it? 450 00:21:08,429 --> 00:21:12,189 Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, totally. Yeah. I was so sweaty I stuck 451 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:16,589 Speaker 1: to the bed. Butter peeled me off afterwards. And then 452 00:21:16,629 --> 00:21:19,229 Speaker 1: you go and you watch another video just because also 453 00:21:19,309 --> 00:21:22,469 Speaker 1: as well, a lot of people like it's more mental 454 00:21:22,509 --> 00:21:26,029 Speaker 1: for them than physical, I think, and for me not 455 00:21:26,069 --> 00:21:28,309 Speaker 1: so much. I was like quite disconnected from it, and 456 00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:32,989 Speaker 1: that's fine. Recovery was dumb. I got mine at four 457 00:21:33,029 --> 00:21:35,589 Speaker 1: o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, and then I met the 458 00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:36,029 Speaker 1: boys at. 459 00:21:35,949 --> 00:21:37,389 Speaker 2: The pub celebrate. 460 00:21:38,309 --> 00:21:41,389 Speaker 1: I ended up at a gay bar til about three 461 00:21:41,429 --> 00:21:43,189 Speaker 1: am in the morning, and then I woke up in 462 00:21:43,229 --> 00:21:45,989 Speaker 1: the morning clocked how many steps I'd done done fifteen 463 00:21:46,029 --> 00:21:49,109 Speaker 1: thousand steps, and I was bruised up to my belly button. 464 00:21:51,069 --> 00:21:53,189 Speaker 2: I feel like there was probably something in the paperwork 465 00:21:53,189 --> 00:21:56,469 Speaker 2: about drinking. Yeah, it was the walking. 466 00:21:56,669 --> 00:21:59,109 Speaker 1: Was the walking, and honestly being at a gay bar 467 00:21:59,149 --> 00:22:00,469 Speaker 1: and everyone wanted to see my nuts. 468 00:22:00,509 --> 00:22:04,349 Speaker 2: Didn't not today, not today? 469 00:22:04,469 --> 00:22:06,629 Speaker 1: Yeah, my next time I ever got it like two 470 00:22:06,629 --> 00:22:08,429 Speaker 1: weeks later, and he was like two days he was fine. 471 00:22:08,509 --> 00:22:12,749 Speaker 1: So the recovery is since it's funny though once someone 472 00:22:13,029 --> 00:22:15,229 Speaker 1: gets it that you know the knock on effects of 473 00:22:15,229 --> 00:22:17,589 Speaker 1: everyone getting So my mother's group, which we are strong 474 00:22:17,709 --> 00:22:20,509 Speaker 1: from Oscar so five years we all go away together. 475 00:22:20,749 --> 00:22:24,189 Speaker 1: We just had lunch with him over the weekend, just 476 00:22:24,189 --> 00:22:26,309 Speaker 1: the parents, thank god there was enough babysitters for all 477 00:22:26,349 --> 00:22:28,469 Speaker 1: of us. And one of the other boys had just 478 00:22:28,509 --> 00:22:32,109 Speaker 1: had it. Then there's all this negotiation between couples of 479 00:22:33,029 --> 00:22:42,349 Speaker 1: if you'd get it. All the blokes is perker. We're 480 00:22:42,389 --> 00:22:45,349 Speaker 1: doing this. Even some of them were booking it in 481 00:22:45,429 --> 00:22:49,709 Speaker 1: at the restaurant. Wow, men are easy to manipulate. 482 00:22:49,989 --> 00:22:52,549 Speaker 2: Okay, so true, and just take one for the table. 483 00:22:53,429 --> 00:22:55,829 Speaker 1: Totally. The bar is so low. Take this low bar 484 00:22:55,949 --> 00:22:58,229 Speaker 1: for the team. I'm glad I did it. It is 485 00:22:58,229 --> 00:23:00,189 Speaker 1: funny when people still ask if you come because you do. 486 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:04,309 Speaker 2: Honestly, great piece of information. 487 00:23:04,709 --> 00:23:07,549 Speaker 1: I was not sure it was fun. 488 00:23:08,149 --> 00:23:10,909 Speaker 2: Can you give us a ten second play by play 489 00:23:10,989 --> 00:23:13,869 Speaker 2: of the chaos of your morning before you got here? 490 00:23:14,189 --> 00:23:17,349 Speaker 1: So this morning, well, let's just go back to last night. 491 00:23:17,349 --> 00:23:21,149 Speaker 1: I got home about eleven thirty. Macy woke up at 492 00:23:21,189 --> 00:23:23,189 Speaker 1: about twelve thirty. It took me two hours to get 493 00:23:23,189 --> 00:23:25,549 Speaker 1: it back to sleep because she just has a horrific cough. 494 00:23:25,549 --> 00:23:28,909 Speaker 1: She's like dry reaching yeah, yeah, yeah it was, but 495 00:23:28,989 --> 00:23:34,069 Speaker 1: also like in my face, I don't want to get 496 00:23:34,069 --> 00:23:37,669 Speaker 1: it straight down to kindy. One. Kindy had to get 497 00:23:37,669 --> 00:23:40,549 Speaker 1: both kids out of the car obviously, and then one 498 00:23:40,629 --> 00:23:43,149 Speaker 1: melting down because he didn't want to stay there. Oh 499 00:23:43,189 --> 00:23:45,269 Speaker 1: do you know what he did? Actually, I forgot. He 500 00:23:45,349 --> 00:23:46,669 Speaker 1: was in the back of the car and he picked 501 00:23:46,669 --> 00:23:49,749 Speaker 1: a scab on his knee. Oh, so that kicked off. 502 00:23:49,989 --> 00:23:51,789 Speaker 1: He was like, can you give me a bandate, bro, 503 00:23:51,909 --> 00:23:55,789 Speaker 1: I'm driving. No, I would never I said, I said, 504 00:23:55,789 --> 00:23:58,509 Speaker 1: I don't have one. Where am I going to get 505 00:23:58,509 --> 00:24:01,029 Speaker 1: one from? And I'm driving, So there was that. And 506 00:24:01,069 --> 00:24:03,309 Speaker 1: then Macy hasn't been to Kindy for two weeks, so 507 00:24:03,509 --> 00:24:06,509 Speaker 1: there was a little bit of a separation anxiety there. Yeah, 508 00:24:06,749 --> 00:24:07,589 Speaker 1: just had to get on with it. 509 00:24:07,629 --> 00:24:09,629 Speaker 2: I suppose how many hours sleep did you get? 510 00:24:09,829 --> 00:24:10,029 Speaker 1: Three? 511 00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:14,149 Speaker 2: Yeah? Nice? Nice, you don't feel human, You're just Yeah. 512 00:24:14,749 --> 00:24:17,269 Speaker 1: We recorded a podcast this morning. Then I fell asleep 513 00:24:17,309 --> 00:24:17,989 Speaker 1: on Matt's couch. 514 00:24:18,109 --> 00:24:18,669 Speaker 2: Oh lovely. 515 00:24:18,749 --> 00:24:20,469 Speaker 1: They got a video of me snoring, and then I 516 00:24:20,509 --> 00:24:21,429 Speaker 1: got up and came here. 517 00:24:22,069 --> 00:24:24,309 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for making the time. 518 00:24:24,309 --> 00:24:26,429 Speaker 2: We really appreciate it, and we hope you maybe can 519 00:24:26,509 --> 00:24:27,469 Speaker 2: squeeze in an afternoon. 520 00:24:27,829 --> 00:24:40,189 Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you for having me crab crap crap advice. 521 00:24:44,709 --> 00:24:48,029 Speaker 2: Before we get into today's dilemma, did you know that 522 00:24:48,069 --> 00:24:53,109 Speaker 2: we have an entire podcast dedicated to airing out parental 523 00:24:53,149 --> 00:24:55,589 Speaker 2: related fuck ups? Claire, we haven't been guests yet, but 524 00:24:55,589 --> 00:24:57,629 Speaker 2: we're bloody better be because I have a list I 525 00:24:57,709 --> 00:24:59,629 Speaker 2: keep in my fie. I know, Mike, excuse me, I'm 526 00:24:59,629 --> 00:25:03,709 Speaker 2: waiting for the call. I have this unlimited content. So 527 00:25:03,829 --> 00:25:06,189 Speaker 2: part of our This Glorious Mes podcast, which has been 528 00:25:06,189 --> 00:25:08,989 Speaker 2: a staple of the Mum and mea podcast family for 529 00:25:09,629 --> 00:25:15,109 Speaker 2: a decade. Parents Anonymous is part church confessional, part game show. 530 00:25:15,309 --> 00:25:20,149 Speaker 2: It's where you our listeners share your deepest, darkest parenting 531 00:25:20,269 --> 00:25:25,789 Speaker 2: confessions and Annalise and Stacy score them using our completely 532 00:25:26,029 --> 00:25:28,909 Speaker 2: made up scoring system. If that sounds like a bit 533 00:25:28,949 --> 00:25:31,869 Speaker 2: of you, or actually, if you have one you would 534 00:25:31,909 --> 00:25:34,149 Speaker 2: like to contribute, then follow the link in our show 535 00:25:34,189 --> 00:25:36,989 Speaker 2: notes to listen to more new episodes that are out 536 00:25:37,029 --> 00:25:43,149 Speaker 2: every other Thursday. Okay, onto today's problem. Dear Clara and Jesse. 537 00:25:43,989 --> 00:25:46,829 Speaker 2: I have a ridiculous dilemma. Wow, this is a very 538 00:25:46,869 --> 00:25:49,229 Speaker 2: serious show, and now you're being silly. I have a 539 00:25:49,269 --> 00:25:51,789 Speaker 2: six month old and something has been playing on my mind. 540 00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:56,549 Speaker 2: He looks absolutely nothing like me. I have brown hair, 541 00:25:56,789 --> 00:25:59,909 Speaker 2: he's blonde. I have brown eyes, he has blue eyes. 542 00:26:00,189 --> 00:26:03,029 Speaker 2: I'm short, he's really long. I like how we have 543 00:26:03,109 --> 00:26:04,909 Speaker 2: Toby long not tall. 544 00:26:05,029 --> 00:26:05,269 Speaker 1: Yeah. 545 00:26:05,269 --> 00:26:07,789 Speaker 2: I wonder what stage you call them tall? Maybe when 546 00:26:07,789 --> 00:26:11,349 Speaker 2: they're standing. There are no feature that resemble me at all. 547 00:26:11,389 --> 00:26:13,989 Speaker 2: And the older he gets, the more he's looking exactly 548 00:26:14,349 --> 00:26:17,429 Speaker 2: like his dad. Everyone stops to say they're twins, and 549 00:26:17,469 --> 00:26:19,669 Speaker 2: I'm sick of it. I'm the one he gave her 550 00:26:19,869 --> 00:26:22,149 Speaker 2: to him. I'm the one feeding him and doing the 551 00:26:22,189 --> 00:26:24,509 Speaker 2: majority of the caring for him. Why does he have 552 00:26:24,589 --> 00:26:28,869 Speaker 2: to be the spitting image of my husband? No, I'm kidding, 553 00:26:28,909 --> 00:26:31,269 Speaker 2: it's very important. I know it's silly, but I really 554 00:26:31,309 --> 00:26:33,549 Speaker 2: want him to look like me. I imagined a child 555 00:26:33,589 --> 00:26:36,229 Speaker 2: with my features, and now I have a tiny version 556 00:26:36,429 --> 00:26:38,989 Speaker 2: of the guy I live with. Help, Jesse, do you 557 00:26:39,029 --> 00:26:44,909 Speaker 2: have any ideas? 558 00:26:44,949 --> 00:26:45,549 Speaker 1: So much? 559 00:26:45,709 --> 00:26:49,109 Speaker 2: Because what no one needs is two of their husband. 560 00:26:49,669 --> 00:26:52,629 Speaker 2: When you go and have a baby, you don't see 561 00:26:52,669 --> 00:26:55,429 Speaker 2: your husband. I'm going to give birth to another one 562 00:26:55,989 --> 00:26:58,749 Speaker 2: of the guy who sneezes too loud in this home. 563 00:26:59,469 --> 00:27:01,989 Speaker 2: That is a nightmare. And I often look at my 564 00:27:02,069 --> 00:27:05,549 Speaker 2: husband and I say, you are Luna. Yeah, I am 565 00:27:05,589 --> 00:27:08,509 Speaker 2: looking at my daughter. Do daughters want to look like 566 00:27:08,549 --> 00:27:12,829 Speaker 2: their fathers? I certainly don't do. We've talked about this. 567 00:27:12,909 --> 00:27:14,589 Speaker 2: When I've had a few drinks. I go into the 568 00:27:14,589 --> 00:27:18,109 Speaker 2: bathroom at a bar and I cry because I say, 569 00:27:18,109 --> 00:27:20,749 Speaker 2: I look like my father. Okay, Matilda doesn't look like 570 00:27:20,789 --> 00:27:24,389 Speaker 2: her father. Matilda looks like her grandfather, which is maybe worse. 571 00:27:25,589 --> 00:27:27,429 Speaker 2: Look this could have been written by me, and I 572 00:27:27,509 --> 00:27:31,429 Speaker 2: understand why this person is upset. First order of business, 573 00:27:31,429 --> 00:27:34,709 Speaker 2: and this is very serious, is to demand a maternity test. 574 00:27:35,229 --> 00:27:37,349 Speaker 2: The way you do that is that you go on 575 00:27:37,429 --> 00:27:41,349 Speaker 2: Maury Yovich. I wonder if Maury is still on. I 576 00:27:41,349 --> 00:27:44,589 Speaker 2: don't know, doy die No, no, I think he's still alive. 577 00:27:45,189 --> 00:27:48,269 Speaker 2: But it was always you are not the father. There 578 00:27:48,309 --> 00:27:50,429 Speaker 2: was a man who I think fathered like four hundred 579 00:27:50,469 --> 00:27:52,829 Speaker 2: children that was a real Yeah, he was always the father. 580 00:27:52,869 --> 00:27:54,749 Speaker 2: That was a series, that man, he was always a father. 581 00:27:54,869 --> 00:28:00,029 Speaker 2: But the producers stumbling across him, we're set for the 582 00:28:00,029 --> 00:28:02,309 Speaker 2: next year and a half of episode, and just women 583 00:28:02,309 --> 00:28:05,829 Speaker 2: would come forward, Yeah, my baby too, and on that, 584 00:28:06,109 --> 00:28:10,869 Speaker 2: on demanding a maternity test, I would just say, are 585 00:28:10,989 --> 00:28:12,709 Speaker 2: you certain you had a baby? 586 00:28:12,869 --> 00:28:13,549 Speaker 1: Yep, yep. 587 00:28:13,869 --> 00:28:16,029 Speaker 2: Just have a thing about that time period, because you 588 00:28:16,069 --> 00:28:18,229 Speaker 2: could have got a little bit mixed up, because it 589 00:28:18,269 --> 00:28:24,189 Speaker 2: doesn't sound like that baby's physically. Another way to address 590 00:28:24,229 --> 00:28:29,029 Speaker 2: it would be to sue the hospital. M call the hospital, 591 00:28:29,109 --> 00:28:31,429 Speaker 2: say I'm suing there's been a mix up. Waste time, 592 00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:33,909 Speaker 2: waste money. Yeah, and just say I was promised a 593 00:28:33,949 --> 00:28:38,029 Speaker 2: baby and what I got was a mini husband. Yeah yeah, yeah, 594 00:28:38,029 --> 00:28:40,909 Speaker 2: And why do you do that? Why did you do that? 595 00:28:41,549 --> 00:28:45,389 Speaker 2: Speak to the doctor. It also seems that your genes 596 00:28:45,549 --> 00:28:49,589 Speaker 2: are I mean this word respectfully limp. And that's how 597 00:28:49,589 --> 00:28:51,909 Speaker 2: I feel about my genes when it comes to my 598 00:28:51,949 --> 00:28:56,589 Speaker 2: bad They got overpowered. They got overpowered. So the question is, yeah, yeah, 599 00:28:56,669 --> 00:28:58,189 Speaker 2: the question is if we're going to go on for 600 00:28:58,229 --> 00:29:00,629 Speaker 2: a second or third whatever, then what are we going 601 00:29:00,709 --> 00:29:03,749 Speaker 2: to do to strengthen our genes? What are you? I'm 602 00:29:03,789 --> 00:29:08,149 Speaker 2: not a doctor, but maybe take magnesia or I reckon 603 00:29:08,229 --> 00:29:12,309 Speaker 2: iron would help. Yeah, super foods. Yeah. I read a 604 00:29:12,309 --> 00:29:14,469 Speaker 2: lot about flax seeds, and I just think that if 605 00:29:14,469 --> 00:29:17,749 Speaker 2: you had a smoothie with flax seeds, yeah, every day. Yeah, 606 00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:20,109 Speaker 2: then I think your genes would be stronger and the 607 00:29:20,149 --> 00:29:24,429 Speaker 2: next one would come out looking more like you. Great idea, 608 00:29:24,629 --> 00:29:27,949 Speaker 2: What a great idea. Definitely something that we're aligned on 609 00:29:28,309 --> 00:29:32,029 Speaker 2: is that idea of maternity. Yeah, can you prove it? 610 00:29:32,109 --> 00:29:35,149 Speaker 2: Are you sure? Because I think to create chaos you 611 00:29:35,229 --> 00:29:37,349 Speaker 2: actually accuse your husband or cheating. 612 00:29:38,429 --> 00:29:38,669 Speaker 1: Yeah. 613 00:29:38,749 --> 00:29:40,789 Speaker 2: Yeah, So you say you had an affair and he's like, 614 00:29:40,869 --> 00:29:42,589 Speaker 2: even if I did, what does that have to do 615 00:29:42,669 --> 00:29:45,389 Speaker 2: with our baby? Well, it's not mine, it's not mine, 616 00:29:45,389 --> 00:29:50,749 Speaker 2: it's hers one man who had him. But you gave birth. 617 00:29:50,989 --> 00:29:54,229 Speaker 2: You can't be sure of that. M You can't be 618 00:29:54,269 --> 00:29:56,069 Speaker 2: sure of that. You can only be sure if you 619 00:29:56,109 --> 00:29:57,909 Speaker 2: go and get a test. Yeah, which I think is 620 00:29:58,069 --> 00:29:59,589 Speaker 2: like a cheeks. Well, I've seen it in maybe some 621 00:29:59,709 --> 00:30:03,869 Speaker 2: quiet documentaries. Yeah, so I think I didn't even offer it. Like, 622 00:30:03,949 --> 00:30:06,349 Speaker 2: do you think a maternity test place? If you rang 623 00:30:06,469 --> 00:30:08,269 Speaker 2: up and you said I'd like to do a maternity test, 624 00:30:08,829 --> 00:30:12,349 Speaker 2: what do you think they'd say? Ah, I mean if 625 00:30:12,349 --> 00:30:14,429 Speaker 2: you're paying for it, running out like a business, I 626 00:30:14,429 --> 00:30:18,429 Speaker 2: think they'd be like, that's perfectly fine, that's absolutely fine. 627 00:30:19,069 --> 00:30:22,989 Speaker 2: So definitely accuse your husband of cheating. Yeah, really, like 628 00:30:23,269 --> 00:30:26,069 Speaker 2: and I reckon, like really blow things up, and then 629 00:30:26,069 --> 00:30:28,949 Speaker 2: everyone's like, oh my god, like how did you catch him? 630 00:30:29,069 --> 00:30:32,829 Speaker 2: And you're like, have you seen our sign? Have you 631 00:30:32,869 --> 00:30:38,029 Speaker 2: seen us sign? Not my son? Everyone's like cool, They're like, 632 00:30:38,269 --> 00:30:41,949 Speaker 2: we saw you pregnant. Anyway, That's just one root. Another 633 00:30:42,069 --> 00:30:46,029 Speaker 2: route hair dye contacts. I've wondered this. You need to 634 00:30:46,149 --> 00:30:49,829 Speaker 2: go full toddlers and tiaras with your six months old 635 00:30:50,309 --> 00:30:53,589 Speaker 2: and you need to take him to the hairdresser, die 636 00:30:53,709 --> 00:30:57,429 Speaker 2: his little blonde hair brown. Yep, get some brown contact 637 00:30:57,509 --> 00:31:01,189 Speaker 2: lenses and then take him home and everyone will say, oh, 638 00:31:01,469 --> 00:31:04,229 Speaker 2: looks like your husband, but has your coloring. M that's 639 00:31:04,229 --> 00:31:07,029 Speaker 2: because it's fate my baby. A complain that I have 640 00:31:07,069 --> 00:31:09,629 Speaker 2: about my little lunar is that she's quite olive. Yeah, 641 00:31:09,629 --> 00:31:12,629 Speaker 2: she has some pigment unlike her mum m m. She 642 00:31:12,749 --> 00:31:15,029 Speaker 2: makes me look really unwell. Yeah, I no, she does 643 00:31:15,069 --> 00:31:17,469 Speaker 2: a beautiful people like in we never get a good 644 00:31:17,509 --> 00:31:21,709 Speaker 2: photo of us together. Yeah, because next to her it 645 00:31:21,789 --> 00:31:25,869 Speaker 2: looks like I haven't seen sunshine in two years. Whereas 646 00:31:25,869 --> 00:31:29,069 Speaker 2: Matilda she glows white. She glows white. She makes you 647 00:31:29,109 --> 00:31:32,309 Speaker 2: look hot, she makes it look cliet, you've just come back. Yeah, Hi, Yeah, 648 00:31:32,509 --> 00:31:37,309 Speaker 2: she really really does. We hope you enjoyed this episode 649 00:31:37,389 --> 00:31:41,309 Speaker 2: of The Baby Bubble and didn't find anything remotely helpful. 650 00:31:41,629 --> 00:31:43,909 Speaker 2: If you enjoyed this podcast, we'd love it if you'd 651 00:31:43,909 --> 00:31:45,749 Speaker 2: scroll to the part of the app you're listening on 652 00:31:45,949 --> 00:31:49,709 Speaker 2: and leave a little review. The Baby Bubble is produced 653 00:31:49,709 --> 00:31:53,509 Speaker 2: by Taylor Strano, with audio production by Teagan Sadler. We 654 00:31:53,589 --> 00:31:57,229 Speaker 2: will see you next week. Bye bye.