1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:04,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Sees the Yay Podcast. Busy and happy, 2 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: but tired and worn, just some of the feelings when 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: baby is born. There's magic, elation, there's chaos and tears, 4 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,200 Speaker 1: but everyone goes through the same hopes and fears. So 5 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:16,240 Speaker 1: this is a segment we hope helps you feel supported 6 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 1: and valid. The mum juggles real, the good, bad, the ugly, 7 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,960 Speaker 1: the best and worst day. It's part of the journey 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:25,479 Speaker 1: to seize the Babe. I'm Sarah Davidson, a lawyer turned 9 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: entrepreneur who hung up the suits and heels to co 10 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 1: found Macha Maiden, a Macha Milk Bar, become a TV 11 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: and radio presenter, and of course host The Sees the 12 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: Ya Podcast. This year, I added motherhood to that list, 13 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 1: which is the best job I've ever had with our 14 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: beautiful baby Teddy, and this segment was designed to house 15 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,200 Speaker 1: all the conversations we've been having about parenthood. We'll still 16 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: do our regular episodes and just like real life, it's 17 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: a constant balance between our parent identity and everything else. 18 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,120 Speaker 1: I hope you guys enjoy this segment as much as 19 00:00:54,160 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: I have enjoyed creating it. I know I say this 20 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: to you guys all the time, but it truly does 21 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 1: feel like the greatest privilege to have a community or 22 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,319 Speaker 1: a neighborhood that shares in all our big life milestones 23 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: and moments, especially over many, many years for some of 24 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: you who have so kindly stuck around this long. And 25 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: I'm sure it will shock you guys just as much 26 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 1: as me to hear that this week marks one whole 27 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:25,320 Speaker 1: year since Teddy was born. I cannot believe I have 28 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: an almost one year old. The time has just flown by. 29 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 2: Weirdly. 30 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 1: It feels like I've been his mum for both a 31 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,760 Speaker 1: minute and a half and also a lifetime and a 32 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: half all at once. I'm a bit of a walking 33 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: hot mess of emotions this week. I'm so grateful that 34 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: he's such a healthy, growing boy. I'm also so nostalgic 35 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:45,479 Speaker 1: that the tiny little newborn we brought home has grown 36 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: so much. Either way, I can barely remember the person 37 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: I was before, and I think you can probably all 38 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 1: tell from the content over the past year that it 39 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: has been my favorite chapter by far. If you follow 40 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: along on socials I think most of you do, you'll 41 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: know the first birthday milestone has come with a very 42 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: timely twelve month regression. We've had quite a few of 43 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: these regressions, so we're back in the thick of sleep 44 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: deprivation with another twist of the roller coaster of parenthood. 45 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: But it's equally been a privilege and a safe space 46 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: for me actually to share the tougher times over the 47 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: past year as much as the good ones with you all, 48 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 1: and you've all been so supportive with such amazing suggestions. 49 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 1: Teddy's actual birthday is tomorrow at the time of recording, 50 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,920 Speaker 1: and we're having a little birthday party on the weekend, 51 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: so you'll get bombarded on all fronts with his sweet 52 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: little face. 53 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 2: Lucky, he's cute, that kid. 54 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:34,079 Speaker 1: Because we are not getting a lot of sleep, as 55 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 1: you know I love to do, I'll be marking the 56 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:38,799 Speaker 1: occasion with a bit of a dear diary reflection episode 57 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: of Seize the Babe on the biggest things I've learned 58 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: over the past year and just taking stock of how 59 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,959 Speaker 1: it all feels, because I haven't actually done that at all. 60 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: It's just been living in the moment, almost to a fault, 61 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: though I haven't really stopped and thought about how it 62 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: all feels and who I am and what's changed and 63 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: you know that. That's one of the things I love 64 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,359 Speaker 1: the most about having a podcast is having an audio 65 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: record of who you were and how you felt at 66 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: a moment in time. So I'll be doing that for 67 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: next week's episode because I've had a few dms asking about. 68 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:08,800 Speaker 2: Our birth story. 69 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 1: Plus I personally don't really remember any of that episode, 70 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 1: having recorded it in the Thick of the Newborn Hayes, 71 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 1: I thought it would be a nice throwback moment to 72 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,359 Speaker 1: re release that before the Dear Diary episode, to kind 73 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: of have a look at what's changed, what hasn't, what 74 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: turned out the way I expected, what didn't, and just 75 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 1: think about how far we've come. I don't know if 76 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: any other parents' experiences, but I still can't. 77 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 2: Quite believe that Teddy's real life. 78 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: Every day I pinch myself that we actually made a 79 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: tiny human being, and I look back all the time 80 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: at the photos and videos of the very early days. 81 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 1: I can't believe that he didn't exist and then he did. 82 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 1: And I can't wait to re listen to the actual 83 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: chat we had with Sophie from Australian Birth Stories where 84 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: I just kind of word vomited it all out in 85 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: real time. I'm so keen to hear what I felt, 86 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: so I hope you guys enjoy it. If you have 87 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: any questions for the next episode, feel free to shoot 88 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: me an email or a DM. Nothing is off limits. 89 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: You guys know I'm an open book and kind of 90 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 1: love the gory questions, so please hit me up. Thank 91 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: you again for embracing this new chapter with us and 92 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: celebrating our little almost one year old. 93 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 3: I hope you enjoy Do you want to take us 94 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 3: through your journey to conceiving with Teddy? Because I know 95 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 3: it wasn't a smooth road. Do you want to take 96 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 3: us through that first time? I think I was in 97 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 3: the middle of promoting my book and I sent you 98 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,920 Speaker 3: a copy of the book and you said so timely 99 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 3: because I've just found out I'm pregnant. It was all secret, Squirrels. 100 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,919 Speaker 3: What was that time like? Had you been trying for 101 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 3: a while before you fell pregnant the first time? 102 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, we had. 103 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: We've got quite an interesting fertility journey in that I 104 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,279 Speaker 1: am adopted, so and I know you have adoption in 105 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: your family as well. I was adopted from South Korea 106 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 1: when I was five months old, and so don't really 107 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: have much medical history, including fertility information. But then to 108 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: add to that, my husband's mother was also adopted. She 109 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:01,799 Speaker 1: was a young Asian girl adopted into Equalcasian Australian family. 110 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 1: So so random that we ended up together. There are 111 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,599 Speaker 1: so many things in our story that we kind of 112 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,919 Speaker 1: think made destiny all aline. So we had less of 113 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: a picture I guess a family history than most people, 114 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: and did actually start a little bit earlier than we 115 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: ended up, kind of trying properly. We started trying before COVID. 116 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,720 Speaker 1: We got married in twenty nineteen, and then my father 117 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 1: in law got quite unwell in Tasmania, and then COVID happened, 118 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: so we paused for a little while and then really 119 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 1: gave it a go at the end of I think 120 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:37,840 Speaker 1: it was two thousand and twenty two, and we went 121 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 1: straight ahead and did all the tests that a lot 122 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 1: of people wouldn't probably do until six months or twelve 123 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: months into trying, just to because we didn't have that 124 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 1: picture of any medical history, had no kind of red 125 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: flags come up, and I think we felt pregnant within 126 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 1: three months, so that was quite surprising. 127 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 2: I was already by. 128 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: Then kind of in my early thirties, and I just 129 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,240 Speaker 1: had no idea whether I'd be able to, and also 130 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 1: adoption had always been so present in my mind that 131 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 1: it wasn't I kind of didn't have all my eggs 132 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,159 Speaker 1: in this basket of natural conception. So we were just 133 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: trying and seeing what happened. Happened very early, as you mentioned, 134 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: I had you on the podcast and I think it 135 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,599 Speaker 1: was like seven weeks or something at that point, so 136 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,240 Speaker 1: it was so early, but I just was like, so 137 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 1: of all people, who's going to understand and know. 138 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 2: That it's a secret, but get excited with me. Yeah, 139 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 2: we had conceived, so that was really exciting. 140 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:34,360 Speaker 1: And we ended up having a viability scan and I 141 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 1: can't even remember the order it happened in now this 142 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:41,040 Speaker 1: is March last year, and we never actually got a heartbeat, 143 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 1: so I think the six week scan we didn't have 144 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: a heartbeat, and they sort of said, you know, this 145 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: isn't enormously uncommon. You know, it's still possible that you 146 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: could have a viable pregnancy, but the statistics have change 147 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,719 Speaker 1: now that you've made it to six weeks without one. 148 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: And then we went back a week later, we still 149 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: didn't have a heartbeat, and they sort of like, you know, 150 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,159 Speaker 1: we got let down in very gentle stages that Okay, 151 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: by now you really should have that marker. It's sort 152 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: of gone from you know, fifty to fifty to eighty 153 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: twenty of a missed miscarriage. Wait another week and we'll 154 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: do another scan and that will really confirm it. 155 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 2: And then you'll know what your options are. 156 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 1: And I think because we never had that confirmation of 157 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: a positive heartbeat, we did celebrate, but we didn't have 158 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: that full safe zone of really, you know, trusting that 159 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: the pregnancy would go ahead. So it made it a 160 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: lot easier that it was quite early and that that 161 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 1: was the way we found out. Still a shock and devastating, 162 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 1: but easier then I guess if we had had that 163 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 1: heartbeat at the first scan. 164 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 3: It's such a drawn out process, and I think I've 165 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 3: sort of witnessed it with girlfriends and things that it's 166 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 3: not just a clear cut There's a lot of blood 167 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 3: tests and a lot of retesting and kind of a 168 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 3: few weeks often where you kind of are trying to 169 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 3: get your hopes up to protect your heart and that 170 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 3: sort of dance that you often do kind of isolated. 171 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 3: Did you share with many friends and family during that time. 172 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: No, it's so accurate what you said. It's you're so 173 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 1: confused about where you sit in the pregnancy spectrum, like 174 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: is this actually going to go ahead? 175 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 2: Is it not? 176 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 1: And then how do I feel about it? And it's 177 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: such a blur and it's almost so raw as it's happening, 178 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: you're not really sure how you feel about it, so 179 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: you don't I didn't personally feel like I could share 180 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,240 Speaker 1: because I didn't really know what I would share, Like 181 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: I sort of, I often wait in difficult situations, and 182 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: I tend to do this generally, but I found during 183 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 1: pregnancy I've done it even more until I'm more certain 184 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: of the outcome and more certain of how I react 185 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,640 Speaker 1: to that set of circumstances. I don't share it with 186 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: anyone because I'm just like, well, I don't want to 187 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: share prematurely, because what if I I'm not, you know, 188 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 1: I don't know how I actually feel or how to 189 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 1: even articulate what's going on. So I didn't tell anyone. 190 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,439 Speaker 1: I think we told our parents because we'd already told 191 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:54,839 Speaker 1: them when we first we very very early, had told 192 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: them when we first got a positive pregnancy test. So 193 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,720 Speaker 1: we then go and tell them that it had gone ahead, 194 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: and I kept it quiet until months and months later, 195 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: because much longer than I thought to even be able 196 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: to articulate what my response was how we felt about 197 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:12,559 Speaker 1: trying again. 198 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 2: Then you open the doors. 199 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,719 Speaker 1: To questions of well, how are you going now, and 200 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: it adds a time pressure that you don't have if 201 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: you haven't already shared that you've kind of started and 202 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: had a false start and you're trying again. So we 203 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: did keep it really quiet and just knuckled down, and 204 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:32,079 Speaker 1: I found the distraction of work and being treated as 205 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: if everything was normal actually really helpful. That there was 206 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 1: a place I could go where it wasn't all about fertility, 207 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: and it wasn't waiting for a blood test, and it 208 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: wasn't waiting to just miscarry naturally or wait and see 209 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: what my body did. But all the while I still 210 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 1: had symptoms. So I had about a month where I 211 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:53,079 Speaker 1: knew that I probably wasn't going to carry the pregnancy ahead, 212 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: but my body hadn't miscarried naturally, so I just kept 213 00:09:56,440 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: having nausea and saw boobs and all the things, but 214 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,200 Speaker 1: without the joy that kind of makes it all worth it. 215 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: And I think it was one of the hardest, hardest 216 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: months of my life. Just that waiting time was agonizingly slow, 217 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,439 Speaker 1: and I just I think I was the busiest I've 218 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: ever been trying to distract myself to get through those. 219 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 1: Each seven day. 220 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 2: Period felt like a year. 221 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 3: We're sort of going out working, doing all the things 222 00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 3: and coming home and crying or you know, yeah. 223 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: And I think because my work is so based around 224 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 1: joy and yay, I'd put this mask on and go 225 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 1: to work, and at the time it was what I 226 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: needed to be able. 227 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 3: To distract yourself kind of yeah. 228 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, completely together, joyful, and have everyone reacting to me 229 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,959 Speaker 1: as if life was normal. And then once I got 230 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: behind closed doors, I sort of was like, Okay, I 231 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,439 Speaker 1: can let it all out now, but. 232 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 2: It didn't consume all day. 233 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 1: That way, rather than telling everyone and then being surrounded 234 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: by it all the time, I find you do need 235 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 1: to escape that world a little bit. So we got 236 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 1: to week eight and they confirmed it was definitely a 237 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 1: non viable pregnancy, and the options were just wait until 238 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 1: your body naturally miscarries, but you'll keep having all the symptoms, 239 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: or you can go in for a DNC surgery to 240 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: kind of bring it about, you know, at a timed manner. 241 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 1: And it's a full general anesthetic, and it's quite quite dramatic. 242 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 2: And I wouldn't. 243 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: Normally volunteer for a surgery unless I had to, and 244 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 1: I would normally just let nature take its course. But 245 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,559 Speaker 1: by then I was beside myself. It had been four weeks, 246 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 1: and the idea of waiting another day of experiencing pregnancy 247 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: without knowing it was never going to go ahead, I 248 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: just was like, get it out. I just want to 249 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: kind of turn the clock to zero. Let my bodies 250 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 1: every day. I wanted to feel like I was building 251 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: back towards a cycle or I was building forward, but 252 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:48,079 Speaker 1: until the miscarriage happened, that wasn't the case. I just 253 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 1: felt like I was just in this limbo. So I 254 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,240 Speaker 1: couldn't actually get in for another two weeks, and that 255 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,680 Speaker 1: felt like agony. I was like, I can't, I physically 256 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:00,160 Speaker 1: and mentally cannot do that. And I ended up go 257 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:04,200 Speaker 1: into emergency and just at Cabrini and just trying to 258 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: find a doctor who would do it and see the 259 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 1: kind of physical and mental cost of not doing it earlier. 260 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,640 Speaker 1: And I think it was yeah, by twenty four hours later, 261 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: at about eight and a half or nine weeks had 262 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 1: the DNC. I think I went home that night. It 263 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 1: was just a day surgery, and it was International Women's 264 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: Week the next day or two days later actually, and 265 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: I did a gig every day. 266 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 3: That's your busiest season. 267 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,440 Speaker 2: And it meant even more. I think because of what 268 00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 2: was going on. 269 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: I had to change all my outfits because I had 270 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 1: a surgery and I was bleeding, so I had a 271 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: line skirts that weren't tied around my stomach and that 272 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 1: could fit a massive pad. And like, I didn't tell anyone, 273 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,719 Speaker 1: but in my brain, I was like, women are warriors. 274 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 275 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,840 Speaker 3: It's so hard because even at eight weeks after going 276 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 3: through that surgery, you're still going through a postpartum period 277 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,520 Speaker 3: where your body readjusting. You've got the hormonal shift and everything, 278 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,840 Speaker 3: and it's interesting. I don't know if you've had time. 279 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 3: You probably haven't had time to reflect on that now, 280 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 3: but having now been in a postpartum after a full 281 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:13,719 Speaker 3: term pregnancy and all of those things, probably wasn't as 282 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 3: intense because I don't imagine milk would have come in 283 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,560 Speaker 3: at that point. But you've still got that hormonal shift 284 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,320 Speaker 3: and yet kind of if you're not openly sharing it, 285 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,400 Speaker 3: you can't go. I need three weeks to lie on 286 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 3: the couch and everybody cook me meals. But it's kind 287 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 3: of what you need. 288 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. 289 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 1: And I think there's such a sense, especially the first 290 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,719 Speaker 1: time that something like miscarriage comes into your world. We 291 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 1: had had a lot of friends who would experience them, 292 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 1: but they often don't share until you share, and then 293 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 1: it sort of all came out in the months after 294 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:45,200 Speaker 1: we did start talking to friends that I mean, more 295 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,400 Speaker 1: than sixty to seventy percent of the people we know 296 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,880 Speaker 1: who have children have had one and we didn't know. 297 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,959 Speaker 1: So it's sort of at that earlier time, before I 298 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 1: knew how common it was, you do feel this weird 299 00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 1: sense of shame and failure, and you don't want to 300 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: tell anyone that it didn't work and you couldn't do 301 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 1: it or your body couldn't do it, because that's still 302 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,680 Speaker 1: the narrative that you're in at that stage. So there's 303 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,679 Speaker 1: that as well, I think going through your head that 304 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 1: you're like, I don't want to need three weeks of 305 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: rest because you know, like you just have this sense 306 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,200 Speaker 1: of I don't know your body just like not being 307 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,040 Speaker 1: good enough for that, not the game, but for the 308 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 1: task at hand. 309 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I suppose you touched on kind of having adoption. 310 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 3: In both sides there was some unknown so then you think, oh, 311 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 3: maybe this was what your mother, your biological mother went through. 312 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 3: And I know your adoptive mother had challenges conceiving naturally 313 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 3: as well. Was she a good person to talk to about. 314 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: This or she was wonderful? She's my best friend and 315 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 1: the most incredible support. But it actually helped that she 316 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: had never gotten to the stage of a positive pregnancy test. 317 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 1: So even getting that one step further and knowing my 318 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 1: body could fall pregnant, she had done I think it 319 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 1: was four rounds of IUI and then five rounds of IVF. 320 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,040 Speaker 1: And this was at the very very early stages. It 321 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,160 Speaker 1: was quite primitive compared to the hormones they got pumped 322 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 1: within the eighties, Like, it was very hard on her body, 323 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:10,360 Speaker 1: and so I almost had her journey and challenges like, Okay, 324 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 1: well I've gotten a little bit further. And the statistics 325 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,600 Speaker 1: after a miscarriage of fertility, aren't you know, it's so 326 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: common that you can still feel pregnant afterwards, that this 327 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: isn't kind of the be all and end all. So 328 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 1: it almost helped for her to talk me through it 329 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 1: and say, well, at least you got this far. There's 330 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 1: no reason why your body can't do it again. We 331 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,400 Speaker 1: had the placenter and the fetus tested to see if 332 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: there was any medical reason why there was a miscarriage, 333 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: and that wasn't. It was just at the point of fertilization. 334 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,000 Speaker 1: Sometimes the math doesn't math, or the science doesn't science, 335 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: and that was really helpful to take that whole like 336 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: what did I do wrong away and just realize sometimes. 337 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 2: It just happens. 338 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 1: And then obviously we conceived again pretty quickly, so it 339 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 1: kind of it's weird. Sometimes you want it to feel 340 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,480 Speaker 1: as big as it is, and sometimes you want to 341 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: minimize it, to make it like it's nothing, It's just 342 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 1: a blip on the radar, and then you try again. 343 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,440 Speaker 1: It's weird how you have to psychologically wide your way 344 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 1: through how you. 345 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 2: Want to feel about it at different times. 346 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 3: You did share it more openly with the media and 347 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 3: sort of through your platforms, But I'm just trying to 348 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,760 Speaker 3: think of the time frame. Were you pregnant with Teddy 349 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 3: when you shared that, or was that prior to conceiving him. 350 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: No, So I originally wanted to wait until we did 351 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,360 Speaker 1: conceive again, and then I kind of got to We 352 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 1: tried for three cycles when the opportunity came up to 353 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: share it with Stellar Magazine, with an incredible team and 354 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 1: a female led team who had actually both of them. 355 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: Both of the women who were in charge of the 356 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: piece had had miscarriages before. It felt like a very, 357 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 1: very safe space. And then I realized at that time 358 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,480 Speaker 1: that all the stories I had heard of people who 359 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: had had miscarriages had told me after they'd successfully conceived 360 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 1: the next time, and in the moment that kind of 361 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 1: not that it wasn't helpful. It was enormously helpful to 362 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 1: normalize the experience and get support and know how common 363 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 1: it is. But at the same time, they had that 364 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 1: certainty of the happy ending, and so your emotions don't 365 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 1: feel like as relatable as when you're still in that 366 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 1: uncertainty and the throes of uncertainty that will I ever 367 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: conceive again. So it just popped up in my mind 368 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: that I often try and share the bloopers or the 369 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,719 Speaker 1: shitty bits before something has resolved, and I thought, this 370 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,399 Speaker 1: is a real opportunity to share while I don't have 371 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: the guarantee that I will conceive because the emotions will 372 00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 1: be so different. If I'd waited until I was pregnant, 373 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 1: I'd be telling the story with this relief that I 374 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 1: don't have yet, and maybe another woman who had just 375 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:45,040 Speaker 1: experienced in miscarriage would feel more reassured by someone else 376 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 1: sharing before they had that certainty, if ever, And it 377 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,600 Speaker 1: was enormously cathartic to do it before I knew if 378 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,639 Speaker 1: there was a happy ending or not. But again the 379 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:58,639 Speaker 1: weird timing of the universe. We ended up conceiving on 380 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 1: the weekend that the article came out. 381 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 2: Oh wow, so. 382 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 3: Weird, because there's often a long kind of gap between 383 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 3: when you record and write and do a photo shoot 384 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,920 Speaker 3: to when it goes live. So in that introm wow, 385 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:12,600 Speaker 3: that's amazing. 386 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I'd done all that, I'd authentically spoken about 387 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:21,239 Speaker 1: it before I knew that we had conceived again, but 388 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,159 Speaker 1: then by the time and I still obviously didn't know 389 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 1: until fourteen days after that, but it was just strange 390 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,160 Speaker 1: that I was like, that was the same weekend. 391 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:29,919 Speaker 2: That's so weird. 392 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, And yeah, if you're into that side of things, 393 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 3: and I feel like there's often people who are yeah, 394 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 3: who like just knew they were pregnant when they were 395 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 3: and things, and they're not normally connected with the cosmos 396 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 3: and all that, but it's like, yeah, yeah, interesting. You 397 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 3: mentioned that you sought helped through Cabrini. Did you kind 398 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 3: of was that where you were going to birth originally 399 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,239 Speaker 3: and did you plan to then go Okay, well I'm 400 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,640 Speaker 3: ready to go back there when the time comes with 401 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 3: Teddy's pregnancy. 402 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we planned to go there. We knew the 403 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,440 Speaker 1: obstetration that we hadn't had the first appointment because we'd 404 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,719 Speaker 1: never had the viability scan show a heartbeat, we'd never 405 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,840 Speaker 1: actually been referred, but we'd chosen our ob We live 406 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 1: really close to Kabrini and I've only been to hospital 407 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,880 Speaker 1: once before, but it was there, so it felt very 408 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: safe and familiar. And then we always knew we'd go 409 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 1: back there, and they were yet the team during the 410 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,399 Speaker 1: DNC after in the follow ups, they were absolutely incredible 411 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,640 Speaker 1: and then have continued to be so in this pregnancy 412 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,400 Speaker 1: as well. It's just we felt so cared for, which 413 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 1: I know not all mothers experience during their pregnancy, and 414 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 1: we've just had the most positive experience. 415 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 3: What was it like doing a test then to find 416 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 3: out you were pregnant again. 417 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so wild, so so I can't even 418 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,040 Speaker 1: describe it. One of the things that and I'm sure 419 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 1: anyone who's experienced in miscarriage before will understand that feeling 420 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:59,640 Speaker 1: of ill, like pure elation, but it's tempered and almost 421 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,679 Speaker 1: the whole whole first trimester, and for some people, the 422 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 1: entire pregnancy is colored a little bit by not trusting 423 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,360 Speaker 1: that it all stick or that you. 424 00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:10,400 Speaker 2: Will make it. 425 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 1: Like every week is sort of like you're holding your 426 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 1: breath of oh my gosh, like, Okay, I've made it. 427 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,840 Speaker 1: It was a big milestone to get past where we 428 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: got to last time, and then every week after that 429 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: was sort of like a bonus week, but you almost don't. 430 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,400 Speaker 1: You want to celebrate that you've made it, but you're 431 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,679 Speaker 1: almost two guns. Tried to celebrate until quite far in 432 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 1: because you know that you know you've lost a pregnancy before, 433 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 1: and it's it was a very strange mix of emotions 434 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 1: of just bliss and excitement and disbelief and then oh 435 00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 1: my god, anxiety and I don't want to wreck it 436 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,480 Speaker 1: this time and what could I do differently? And how 437 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,680 Speaker 1: do I know it's not going to go ahead? The anxiety, 438 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,639 Speaker 1: and again, you don't tell anyone until much well did 439 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,639 Speaker 1: I chose not to tell anyone till much later as 440 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 1: a protection mechanism. So again, it's like I've never felt 441 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:03,160 Speaker 1: more like I'm living two lives then all of last year. 442 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,959 Speaker 3: Which is interesting from the way that you share in 443 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,359 Speaker 3: a workway, you do that the bloopers like this is 444 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,680 Speaker 3: me before and this is me after, when you're very 445 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 3: open in that and then to not, like yet to 446 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,199 Speaker 3: have to hold back in that way must have been challenging. 447 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I've never done it before. 448 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: I've never really held any kind of secret, Like I've 449 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 1: never been on a reality TV show where I went 450 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: away and then someone had to you know, Like there's 451 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 1: never been. 452 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,640 Speaker 2: A big secret that I had to. 453 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: Manage in the way I shared things. And so from 454 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,679 Speaker 1: January it was I'm pregnant, and then from March it 455 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 1: was I had a miscarriage, and we kept that a 456 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 1: secret until September, August or September, and then we felt 457 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,479 Speaker 1: pregnant in September, so then it was I'm pregnant from 458 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:48,159 Speaker 1: September until the time we told everyone, which we waited 459 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:53,000 Speaker 1: until eighteen weeks because I just didn't feel secure enough to. 460 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 2: Share the news. 461 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 1: So that was sort of like our whole year of 462 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 1: living this like yeah fake, not fake, but like life 463 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,399 Speaker 1: for alongside but not telling anybody, And it felt so 464 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: incongruous and really uncomfortable. 465 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 3: Was the flip side to that, It's also kind of 466 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 3: nice having a secret just at home, the two of 467 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 3: you knowing that you know. I mean, it seems like 468 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 3: you guys, I don't know you intimately, but it seems 469 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 3: like you guys are really really close. So I imagine having 470 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 3: that secret at home was like also a nice thing. 471 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was really lovely, And it was almost like 472 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 1: once I got momentum with it, like once we sort 473 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 1: of made it past twelve weeks and had the NIP 474 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 1: test and knew the gender and we'd chosen a name, 475 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,040 Speaker 1: and then we made it past like the next scan, 476 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:36,719 Speaker 1: and I sort of started to feel a bit more 477 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,359 Speaker 1: comfortable that, Okay, this is probably going to be a 478 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,880 Speaker 1: little baby that gets born and I can get excited 479 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 1: about it. Then I was like, oh, how long can 480 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 1: I wait without telling anyone? Like I didn't have a 481 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,879 Speaker 1: big bump at the start, so I was like, I 482 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: wonder how long we can hold this in and just 483 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 1: keep it in our little bubble. 484 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. 485 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 1: And then I made it to eighteen and I was like, wow, 486 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 1: I still haven't told anyone, like how do we do this? 487 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,679 Speaker 2: And it was it was really lovely. 488 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 1: But then it got to the stage then it clicked 489 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:06,359 Speaker 1: over into Okay, part of my joy is expressing how 490 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:11,000 Speaker 1: I feel about things and sharing that emotion kind of 491 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 1: how I share everything, and I felt any time after that, 492 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,679 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm missing the joy of sharing 493 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: it with my best friends or going to work and 494 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 1: going to events with women and not sharing with other 495 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,400 Speaker 1: moms the joy, you know. I kind of was like, Okay, 496 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 1: now I need to bounce this off someone. But it 497 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:32,400 Speaker 1: was interesting. I waited until I really felt deceptive not sharing, 498 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,200 Speaker 1: and that it took longer than I thought. 499 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 500 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,639 Speaker 3: Interesting, And did you travel during your pregnancy or was 501 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 3: that prior to not? 502 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:43,119 Speaker 1: Really, we had done an extreme amount of travel for 503 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 1: work in the sort of eighteen months to two years before, 504 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 1: which was such a privilege and such a joy. And 505 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,760 Speaker 1: I knew that I wasn't pregnant at those times, so 506 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 1: I took risks that I probably won't take again for 507 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 1: quite a while. Like I went to Antarctica and did 508 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 1: a lot of amazing trauvel. We went to Morocco in Egypt. 509 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,879 Speaker 1: I think that also helped feel really ready for the 510 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: next chapter. So I kind of got it all out 511 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:09,359 Speaker 1: of my system, and we had a wedding actually in Greece, 512 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,320 Speaker 1: which is where we conceived. It's funny that once you 513 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 1: stopped doing ovulation induction, stop timing everything, and just go 514 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 1: and relax in a beautiful place. 515 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 2: That was the cycle that we conceived. 516 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,399 Speaker 1: And then after we came home, I sort of was 517 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 1: very paranoid in the first trimester about not upsetting the 518 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,720 Speaker 1: balance for my body at all. 519 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,320 Speaker 2: So I think I had. 520 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,359 Speaker 1: One long haul flight plan that I canceled. I just 521 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:37,159 Speaker 1: was I don't know, even though the OB and the 522 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 1: GP were like, you can safely travel, I just didn't 523 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 1: want to go away from routine and my little home bubble. 524 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,119 Speaker 1: And then I just didn't have anything booked after that. 525 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,520 Speaker 1: And then by then I'd sort of told everyone that 526 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 1: we were pregnant, so I yeah, didn't move around. I 527 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:56,639 Speaker 1: really started nesting quite early, and we had bought a 528 00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: house and started renovating from I think week five maybe 529 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: from the day I did the positive pregnancy test. We'd 530 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,480 Speaker 1: just gotten the keys, so the whole time we were renovating, 531 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,080 Speaker 1: we knew it was going to be our first family 532 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,720 Speaker 1: home and it was really special. 533 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 3: You just touched on then your ovulation and doing did 534 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,200 Speaker 3: you want to touch on what you did was that 535 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,720 Speaker 3: post having the loss? Did you seek out some assistance 536 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,720 Speaker 3: from an IVF place or what was that journey? 537 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:27,760 Speaker 1: So we'd actually been seeing a fertility specialist from the 538 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: first time that we started trying because of the adoption history. 539 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,879 Speaker 1: I thought we needed to go and consult someone to 540 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,159 Speaker 1: just get all the tests done just to get a 541 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: picture of I did the AMH test, like did egg counts, 542 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 1: we did nick sperm quality, we did everything. 543 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,120 Speaker 2: And so we just went back to them. 544 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,919 Speaker 1: They were sort of were really instrumental in helping us 545 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,160 Speaker 1: find the right doctor at Cabrini who we could try 546 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 1: and get to do the DNC. So they'd been there 547 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,880 Speaker 1: for that whole journey, and then they said, as soon 548 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,119 Speaker 1: as you get your first cycle back, come back and 549 00:25:58,160 --> 00:25:58,960 Speaker 1: we'll make a plan. 550 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 2: And it wasn't so much about. 551 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 1: That there were any problems because there hadn't been any 552 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 1: kind of reports come back that there had been a 553 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,520 Speaker 1: reason for the miscarriage, But it was more that my 554 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,960 Speaker 1: cycles were still really long at the time, so we 555 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,199 Speaker 1: vaguely knew when I was ovulating, but it was we were 556 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,920 Speaker 1: just stabbing in the dark a little bit at either 557 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:18,960 Speaker 1: end of that window. 558 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:24,919 Speaker 2: And interesting enough yet literally figuratively and literally stabbing in 559 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,119 Speaker 2: the dark. It was a really fun time. 560 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, they said, you know, we know that you really 561 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,200 Speaker 1: want to get pregnant as soon as possible, so let's 562 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 1: get as much information as we can. But interestingly, my 563 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 1: cycles went from fifty to sixty days. They'd been consistently 564 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: that long for the whole year before, back to thirty 565 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 1: day cycles like after a miscarriage. 566 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,360 Speaker 2: It was so interesting. 567 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 1: My body just reset and went, oh, yeah, normal now, like, 568 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 1: let's just go back to standard cycles. But we still 569 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:59,399 Speaker 1: did two cycles of ovulation induction to make sure that 570 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: I was actually trying in the right window, and then 571 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,439 Speaker 1: the third cycle I was going to be overseas, so 572 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:10,199 Speaker 1: we stopped because I couldn't travel with the injections and 573 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,480 Speaker 1: keep them at the right temperature, and we felt pregnant 574 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 1: that cycle. 575 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 3: Wow, I'm just thinking, I know, throughout your journey you 576 00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,520 Speaker 3: had kind of quite a good support system of different 577 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 3: resources that you leant into. Were you referred to? Is 578 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:26,320 Speaker 3: it n nurtured birth Sarah nurtured Beth? Yeah? Did a 579 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,639 Speaker 3: friend recommend her? Or how did you come across her? 580 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 1: So it's actually a wonderful story. I think you can 581 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 1: tell by now. I'm like a big I have like 582 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,960 Speaker 1: quite a science brain, But then the other side of 583 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,199 Speaker 1: my brain is very trusting of the universe, and I 584 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: think being adopted and lots of things in our story 585 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,080 Speaker 1: have made me know that the universe brings people into 586 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,120 Speaker 1: your life or makes things happen at a certain time, 587 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,479 Speaker 1: often for a reason. So one of the weird things 588 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,800 Speaker 1: about our adoption. This is such a tangent. But my 589 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,119 Speaker 1: younger brother is four years younger than me, also adopted 590 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,560 Speaker 1: from Korea from a different biological family, but he was 591 00:27:58,560 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 1: born on the same day. 592 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,760 Speaker 2: Were born on the same day as each other. It's 593 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 2: so wild. 594 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:09,200 Speaker 1: But Sarah came into our world through lots of different ways, 595 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 1: and none of them were kind of through a referral. 596 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,119 Speaker 1: We just went to the same cafe, and then she 597 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:19,520 Speaker 1: happens to also work with the ob a couple of 598 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,159 Speaker 1: days a week, was filling in I think maybe on 599 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,439 Speaker 1: a maternity role. But with the OB who we had chosen, 600 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 1: and then the person who referred me to the OB, 601 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:31,159 Speaker 1: it's his cafe Jed at Eden Espresso, shout out if 602 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,720 Speaker 1: he's listening. So that's the cafe that she had seen 603 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,239 Speaker 1: me at and we'd gone to all the time. And 604 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 1: then we had also connected on social media through her 605 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,040 Speaker 1: having been the dueler for a couple of other people 606 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,280 Speaker 1: who are friends of mine. She just messaged me one 607 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,479 Speaker 1: day on Instagram and was like, I feel like I 608 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 1: saw you, and I also think that you might be 609 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: coming to my OB and I feel like you might 610 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:57,000 Speaker 1: also be really into supporting your body. And she knew 611 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,640 Speaker 1: that we'd had a loss, and she not only is 612 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,960 Speaker 1: a door herself, but has a clinic that has a 613 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 1: lot of fertility services, so acupuncture, pregnancy massage, ostio for sciatica, 614 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,959 Speaker 1: and she's like, we'd really love to support you on 615 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,440 Speaker 1: your journey if you would like extra help, particularly this 616 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,360 Speaker 1: time around, anything extra. 617 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 2: To give your body the support that it needs. 618 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: And I just was like, oh my god, I know 619 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:23,160 Speaker 1: you from seventy five different ways and. 620 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 2: You were sent to me. 621 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, And she works often as the door up with 622 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: my OB. Like it was just so strange. And then 623 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 1: the first appointment I had with the ob she was 624 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,360 Speaker 1: there that day. It was just it was just so weird. 625 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: So it was through lots of different ways. 626 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you had sort of jumping you ahead. But 627 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,680 Speaker 3: you had quite a busy kind of work schedule at 628 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 3: the end, and I saw you kind of regularly going 629 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 3: in and having messages and checking in and doing that. 630 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,680 Speaker 3: So did you kind of book that in as needed 631 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,959 Speaker 3: or did you kind of schedule every week, I'm going 632 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 3: to do this, or did you play it by year. 633 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 1: I think from the start of the third trimester we 634 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:02,240 Speaker 1: booked in something every at least one treatment to just 635 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,040 Speaker 1: keep the bot. I started having quite bad sciatica pretty early, 636 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:11,400 Speaker 1: and then as the work commitments became kind of crept 637 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 1: further and further into the trimester, I didn't know i'd 638 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 1: work as late and as intensely as I did. And 639 00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,840 Speaker 1: I was so grateful that A I felt good enough, 640 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,760 Speaker 1: but b that people were still willing to have a 641 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:27,080 Speaker 1: very pregnant woman working. I know it wasn't always the 642 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: case in the media, So the fact that there was 643 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,040 Speaker 1: work to do and I could still get involved in 644 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 1: fashion week it was amazing. But as we got further 645 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 1: in and I became less and less mobile and kind 646 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 1: of needed more and more. So we started adding a 647 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,280 Speaker 1: few more sessions in here and there. And that's absolutely 648 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,000 Speaker 1: the reason why I could still be on my feet 649 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 1: for a long time. 650 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 2: Like the ousteo was just like whoa. 651 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 1: Whoa, we need to fix this, unlock this. Yeah, and 652 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 1: that helped so much, so much. 653 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,040 Speaker 3: At what point in the pregnancy did the sciatica present, 654 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:00,040 Speaker 3: I think. 655 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,920 Speaker 1: About twenty four weeks. It came on really intensely for 656 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 1: about two weeks and I almost couldn't walk and he 657 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 1: was just Teddy was just kind of sitting on a 658 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,840 Speaker 1: spot that really triggered the saiatic nerve and I thought, 659 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,520 Speaker 1: if it gets worse and worse every week, I'm not 660 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 1: going to make it to forty, Like there's no way. 661 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 1: If it's already this debilitating, I'm going to be in 662 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,479 Speaker 1: a walking frame. But then he moved up, as you know, 663 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 1: as the uterus kind of moves up, he moved off 664 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,800 Speaker 1: that spot and then it just disappeared for quite a 665 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,600 Speaker 1: few weeks, and then it kind of came back around 666 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 1: thirty two weeks and then stayed and a couple of 667 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,080 Speaker 1: people on social media were sort of like, oh, the 668 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 1: answer really is just delivered the baby. I was like, oh, great, 669 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,400 Speaker 1: should there's no solution, it's just deal with it. 670 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:44,960 Speaker 3: Welcome to the challenges of me. 671 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, literally had they. 672 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,880 Speaker 3: But there were some things that you were doing that 673 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,600 Speaker 3: were relieve giving you relief, and that Sarah was doing 674 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,120 Speaker 3: for you absolutely. 675 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: And I think before I did get quiet because you're 676 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 1: not supposed to do much in the first trimester, and 677 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,239 Speaker 1: then in the second and I felt really good. I 678 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: wasn't doing anything supplementary. I wasn't kind of getting massages. 679 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:09,720 Speaker 1: I stopped getting doing anything for self care or physical 680 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:13,560 Speaker 1: maintenance other than walks and a bit of pilates because 681 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,840 Speaker 1: I was really gun shy from I think the first time, 682 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 1: and then as I gradually eased back, I just was like, 683 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 1: there's a spectrum of discomfort, and I sort of thought 684 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 1: that I was sitting where it was inevitable and I 685 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 1: just had to deal with it until I delivered. But 686 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 1: I realized there's so much you can do to minimize it, 687 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 1: Like you might not get to the third time. 688 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,240 Speaker 2: Mas is pretty uncomfortable. 689 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,400 Speaker 1: You're probably not going to feel nothing will really get 690 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,480 Speaker 1: you to not having a gigantic bump in the way 691 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,400 Speaker 1: of your sleep and everything you do. But there's a 692 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,360 Speaker 1: lot you can do to kind of make it less 693 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 1: intrusive or less intense. And once I got onto that, 694 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, well I haven't I've 695 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 1: been doing this the whole time. There's so much you 696 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 1: can do to support your body that you can't do 697 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,640 Speaker 1: on assisted either, Like a lot of the stretches your 698 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,000 Speaker 1: bumps in the way like you do need the ostrio 699 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,360 Speaker 1: would just move my body in ways as no way 700 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,720 Speaker 1: I could do by myself, and it was, yeah, incredible. 701 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 3: At what point did they start talking about the positioning 702 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,240 Speaker 3: of Teddy and did you start to kind of be 703 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:14,120 Speaker 3: aware of that? 704 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, so think it wasn't until the third trimester that 705 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 1: they really started to notice or even mention it. In scans, 706 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,239 Speaker 1: Like most of the time as a baby, they're kind 707 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:26,280 Speaker 1: of in the same shape and all the aftrasounds, but 708 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter because they move around so much. 709 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,120 Speaker 1: So sometimes I'd go in for a scan and he'd 710 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,520 Speaker 1: be upside down, and then sometimes he'd be lying on 711 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,640 Speaker 1: his back, and then he'd be left and right, And 712 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:39,280 Speaker 1: you didn't really take notice until sort of in the 713 00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,680 Speaker 1: I think it was maybe a couple of weeks into 714 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,920 Speaker 1: the third trimester. They were like, oh, okay, he's in 715 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 1: the same position every time, like he's sort of just 716 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:50,920 Speaker 1: lying on his back and having a great time, and 717 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 1: his head's up pretty high and his feeded down really low. 718 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:57,440 Speaker 1: And I started to I think maybe around thirty five 719 00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:02,560 Speaker 1: I started to get real really uncomfortable in the bladder, 720 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,520 Speaker 1: like I needed to pee all the way through the pregnancy, 721 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:09,120 Speaker 1: but it became like I really have a yeah, like 722 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:13,879 Speaker 1: a small capacity, and yeah, the ob and the team 723 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,120 Speaker 1: was sort of like, ah, his head's still not turning 724 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:18,920 Speaker 1: to sort of where we want it to be, but 725 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,439 Speaker 1: that's okay, We've still got quite a lot of time. 726 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 1: A lot of babies turn right at the last minute. 727 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:25,960 Speaker 1: There's also a lot of things you can do, so 728 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,919 Speaker 1: around thirty five weeks I started doing There's a site 729 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:32,120 Speaker 1: called Spinning Babies that has a lot of protocols of 730 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,880 Speaker 1: how you can help encourage your baby to turn, like 731 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,839 Speaker 1: swimming in water and doing handstands and then doing inversions. 732 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,480 Speaker 1: There's a lot of like yoga posas you can do, 733 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,920 Speaker 1: or you can lean over the side of the couch 734 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,239 Speaker 1: and kind of do a headstand, and you can do 735 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:51,239 Speaker 1: mox sebustion, which is a traditional Chinese medicine incense that 736 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 1: you hold against your little toe. It sounds so weird, 737 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:55,359 Speaker 1: but we did it. 738 00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,200 Speaker 2: Try everything at that point. 739 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, right, like so much anecdotal evidence. Even the ob 740 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 1: suggested it, and she's not particularly woo wo, So we 741 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,719 Speaker 1: were like, look, let's throw everything at this, and we 742 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:09,840 Speaker 1: did that every day for weeks. He still wasn't turning, 743 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 1: and then I think we got to thirty seven. Yeah, 744 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,799 Speaker 1: we got to thirty seven weeks and he still had 745 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,480 Speaker 1: not turned around. And there's a procedure you can do 746 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,880 Speaker 1: called an ECV where you can manually turn the baby. 747 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,000 Speaker 1: That ob can like physically give you, like quite an 748 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,520 Speaker 1: intense massage and try and turn the baby. But by 749 00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:34,000 Speaker 1: then Teddy had been tracking large and he had really 750 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,840 Speaker 1: stuck his feet down into the pelvis, so there was 751 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 1: not really we'd kind of missed the boat to even 752 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,680 Speaker 1: try that procedure, which means that he was breach unless 753 00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,480 Speaker 1: he spontaneously turned, which given how far down in the 754 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,920 Speaker 1: pelvis he was, was very unlikely. So at that point 755 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:54,600 Speaker 1: we considered the possibility of a cesarean because no one 756 00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:56,880 Speaker 1: is going to give you the chance to birth naturally 757 00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,719 Speaker 1: if he's still breach at the time of delivery. It's 758 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,920 Speaker 1: just I don't think there are any hospitals that would 759 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,000 Speaker 1: go ahead with a natural vaginal birth that. 760 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,839 Speaker 3: Way because of the footling reach presentation to me, because 761 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:07,640 Speaker 3: his feet were right. 762 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,480 Speaker 1: There, yeah, and because I was so far down. I 763 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,200 Speaker 1: think they were just like, it's firstly, it's very unlikely 764 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,239 Speaker 1: that he would have enough room to turn by now 765 00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,000 Speaker 1: by himself. But even if he didn't, they wouldn't let 766 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,360 Speaker 1: a vaginal birth go ahead because it would just present 767 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,440 Speaker 1: in too many cases, it presents too many complications and 768 00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:27,359 Speaker 1: then often you end up with this cesaien anyway. So 769 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,160 Speaker 1: they sort of were like, I think this is the 770 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,520 Speaker 1: timer we introduce the possibility that you'll probably have to 771 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:38,439 Speaker 1: book a cesarean. And I definitely had that moment of disappointment, 772 00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:40,719 Speaker 1: knowing in advance that I might not be able to 773 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 1: experience a natural labor, and I don't even I couldn't 774 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,360 Speaker 1: even articulate why. I was like, is it because there's stigma? 775 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,880 Speaker 1: Is it because I think that it's more womanly. 776 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:50,320 Speaker 2: To go through? 777 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,279 Speaker 1: Like I couldn't really explain why, but I just felt 778 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,240 Speaker 1: disappointed that I wouldn't be able to experience. 779 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,839 Speaker 2: And see if I could do it. 780 00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:00,520 Speaker 1: I think that was part of it, Like I'd been 781 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,440 Speaker 1: up so up for the challenge and doing so much 782 00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,799 Speaker 1: preparation and thought, oh is that, Like is that a 783 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:06,400 Speaker 1: cop out? 784 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:06,759 Speaker 2: Is that? 785 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:11,000 Speaker 1: And also you know everything you hear about bacteria in 786 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,480 Speaker 1: the vaginal canal and like all the congestion that they get, 787 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,360 Speaker 1: Like I was like, oh, no, is this just like 788 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,280 Speaker 1: not the right way for him to enter the world. 789 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,560 Speaker 2: And my ob was amazing. 790 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:22,160 Speaker 1: She was very much like, at the end of the day, 791 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,759 Speaker 1: you want a safe delivery of your baby, and no 792 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 1: one has chosen the way that he has positioned except him. 793 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 1: So he has done the math and he's worked out 794 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,120 Speaker 1: that he's not going to come in his head was 795 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,239 Speaker 1: really big as well. She was like, he's done the 796 00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:38,359 Speaker 1: math that he's not going to make it out that whole, 797 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 1: and so he's quite comfortable where he is and we 798 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,359 Speaker 1: just want him out safely and that's all anyone wants. 799 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,960 Speaker 1: So whatever, you know, this is just he's chosen and 800 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,239 Speaker 1: you just have to go with it. And it was 801 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:53,120 Speaker 1: a really good exercise in surrender of in preparation for 802 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,960 Speaker 1: labor where you have to surrender completely. Anyway, it was 803 00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,600 Speaker 1: just a very good, gentle introduction to the idea that 804 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:01,239 Speaker 1: you have no control really and you just have to 805 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,520 Speaker 1: go with what your baby has decided is how he 806 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:08,400 Speaker 1: wants to enter this world. So we booked for thirty 807 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,960 Speaker 1: nine weeks, and I think they do that so that 808 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 1: there's a less chance you'll go into labor before that. 809 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:17,080 Speaker 1: So they bring it forward a week and then said 810 00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:19,719 Speaker 1: left it open that you know he might turn and 811 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,440 Speaker 1: if he does, amazing, we'll leave it and give you 812 00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:24,520 Speaker 1: the chance to do a natural vaginal birth. 813 00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,360 Speaker 2: But it's unlikely. 814 00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,040 Speaker 1: So went home, had a couple of days of getting 815 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,680 Speaker 1: my head around it and kind of let go of 816 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,560 Speaker 1: the disappointment as well and just embrace, like, Okay, whatever 817 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,719 Speaker 1: happens happens, and I'm in the safest hands no matter what, 818 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:41,480 Speaker 1: and I will trust my bee. From the minute I 819 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 1: met her, I was like, our risk thresholds are the same, 820 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:46,920 Speaker 1: and I just trust you'll make the decision that I 821 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,840 Speaker 1: will never not be happy with in the end. And 822 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,879 Speaker 1: then I had Sarah as the dueler, also informing kind 823 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,439 Speaker 1: of the process. And then the ostio Kadi was also 824 00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,920 Speaker 1: a midwife at Cabrini, Like there were so many people, 825 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:00,719 Speaker 1: like a consult in the team who got me on 826 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:05,040 Speaker 1: board and yeah. So by then we changed to weekly appointments. 827 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,960 Speaker 1: We got to thirty eight weeks and this was the 828 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:10,799 Speaker 1: big appointment where we were going to go through what 829 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,400 Speaker 1: it meant. He was still breached, so we were going 830 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,400 Speaker 1: to go through the appointment and figure out what the 831 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,160 Speaker 1: plan was for the C section and what it would 832 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,279 Speaker 1: look like. And I had this list of questions and 833 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,319 Speaker 1: I got ready for what it. 834 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:24,200 Speaker 2: Was going to be. Like we drove to Cabrini. 835 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,760 Speaker 1: I didn't have a bra on, I didn't take my bag, 836 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:28,480 Speaker 1: I didn't take anything because I was like, oh, we're 837 00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:30,320 Speaker 1: just going for half an hour and it's around the corner. 838 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,319 Speaker 1: I was quite large by this point. I'd done that 839 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,320 Speaker 1: sort of ten days straight of work on my feet. 840 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,200 Speaker 1: I was pretty uncomfortable. So he dropped me off at 841 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,440 Speaker 1: the lift so I wouldn't have to walk up the 842 00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:45,800 Speaker 1: ramp and drove away to park the car and I 843 00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,279 Speaker 1: ran after him, like waving, and he was like, what's wrong, 844 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,640 Speaker 1: And I was like, my water just broke everywhere. 845 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,279 Speaker 2: And my water broke at the hospital on thirty eight. 846 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,760 Speaker 1: Weeks on the dot, everyone had said, like, it doesn't 847 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,359 Speaker 1: happen like a dozen of the movies. Not a big 848 00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,440 Speaker 1: gush of water, it's just a little leak. It was 849 00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:06,240 Speaker 1: a massive gush for me, like it was all over me, did. 850 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,040 Speaker 2: You hear it? It just hurt. It went through the pad. 851 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:13,719 Speaker 1: My shorts were like a light colored linen drenched, like 852 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,680 Speaker 1: literally dripping everywhere. There was this big like from me 853 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,879 Speaker 1: running after Nick, there was like this big like look 854 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,120 Speaker 1: someone ever had a hose that was just following me 855 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:22,880 Speaker 1: and it kept going. 856 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:24,600 Speaker 2: So then I ran back to. 857 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,680 Speaker 1: Hide behind a car so that it could just keep 858 00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:30,279 Speaker 1: coming out, and He's like, oh my god, Okay, oh 859 00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:32,160 Speaker 1: my god. So he just like abandoned the car in 860 00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,480 Speaker 1: the closest spot, which I don't even think was like 861 00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,600 Speaker 1: a normal car park. And then we called Yeah, we 862 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,080 Speaker 1: called Danielle Mayo Bee and said we're on the way 863 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,960 Speaker 1: to you at your office, but should we just go 864 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,240 Speaker 1: straight to the birthings week because my waters are broken? 865 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:46,799 Speaker 1: And she said yes, I will meet you there. 866 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:47,840 Speaker 2: Oh wild. 867 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,600 Speaker 1: So I walked all the way through Caberini leaking, just 868 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,759 Speaker 1: like trying to hold it in, and was like. 869 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:53,359 Speaker 2: That's all right. 870 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:54,160 Speaker 3: I'm sure they've seen it. 871 00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:55,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, they were like, I don't worry. 872 00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,640 Speaker 1: You're not the first person who has bodily fluids coming out. 873 00:40:58,200 --> 00:40:59,600 Speaker 1: And we went straight to the birth suite and I 874 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:00,480 Speaker 1: never went home. 875 00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:04,920 Speaker 3: Wow. Was there a little bit of a sense of 876 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:09,000 Speaker 3: panic then or was it sort of controlled because they 877 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,200 Speaker 3: obviously didn't really want you to go into labor. They 878 00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:13,600 Speaker 3: didn't want the contractions to really ramp up because they 879 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:15,920 Speaker 3: didn't want him to birth that way. Did you feel 880 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 3: like rush, rush, rush then? Or were they like, no, no, 881 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,480 Speaker 3: it's fine, it's your waters And you hadn't probably had 882 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,640 Speaker 3: a contraction or a pain at that point, had you no? 883 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,840 Speaker 1: So I had no idea it was coming, Like I 884 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:30,040 Speaker 1: hadn't felt different sort of in the date, Like I 885 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,920 Speaker 1: didn't have any yes signs of contractions or pain or 886 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,640 Speaker 1: anything like that. So I was very unprepared. It was 887 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:38,960 Speaker 1: a big shock when it happened. We didn't even have 888 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,879 Speaker 1: the hospital bag in the car. We just weren't because 889 00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,480 Speaker 1: we booked it. We had this date. We had the 890 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:46,719 Speaker 1: thirty nine weeks was the date it was coming. And 891 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,440 Speaker 1: the whole silver lining of cesarean was that you had 892 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,840 Speaker 1: the certainty of a date so I put every this 893 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,160 Speaker 1: date and ignored the fact that it could, of course 894 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:59,640 Speaker 1: happen earlier. But I had gone into labor and I 895 00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,480 Speaker 1: had I had contract so I started to have contractions, 896 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,600 Speaker 1: but they weren't getting really close together that quickly, so 897 00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:08,279 Speaker 1: they sort of knew we had a bit of time. Unfortunately, 898 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:11,200 Speaker 1: I had just eaten and you're supposed to fast as 899 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:13,880 Speaker 1: well before the surgery. So I think because of that 900 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:16,839 Speaker 1: and scheduling and getting the pediatrician in on time and 901 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,200 Speaker 1: getting the team together, I think they ended up deciding 902 00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:22,680 Speaker 1: that I could wait five or six hours, So we 903 00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:26,040 Speaker 1: scheduled it for five or six hours time, and in 904 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 1: that time I got my head around it, if that 905 00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:29,560 Speaker 1: makes sense. 906 00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:32,680 Speaker 2: So I was extremely shocked, but. 907 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:36,040 Speaker 1: Then I had time to let it all. I didn't 908 00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,480 Speaker 1: go straight into theater, which I think would have totally 909 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,920 Speaker 1: freaked me out. I had time to sort of realize 910 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,440 Speaker 1: I was in the birthing suite. But also what was 911 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,880 Speaker 1: really beautiful about it is I got to experience both 912 00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:51,480 Speaker 1: without it being traumatic. And I think some people do 913 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,960 Speaker 1: get quite far into natural labor they tear and then 914 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:56,480 Speaker 1: they have to have a cesarian, and then it's kind 915 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,280 Speaker 1: of like, well, I got the shit bits of both. 916 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:00,480 Speaker 1: I kind of got the nice bits of both. I 917 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:04,239 Speaker 1: got to know what a contraction feels like. I got 918 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,799 Speaker 1: to know that also Teddy was getting the massage that 919 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:09,040 Speaker 1: a contraction gives to the baby. They wanted him to 920 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:10,640 Speaker 1: have a little bit of that if they weren't getting 921 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:13,239 Speaker 1: too close together, and that was really. 922 00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:14,640 Speaker 2: Good for him and good for my body. 923 00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,880 Speaker 1: And by the five hours they were getting a bit spicy, 924 00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:21,239 Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, this is good. I know 925 00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,760 Speaker 1: what this is like, and I know that my body 926 00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,800 Speaker 1: did this naturally, so I know the date wasn't also artificial, 927 00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,719 Speaker 1: like we let nature kind of do its thing, and 928 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:32,880 Speaker 1: he was ready to come out. Yeah, And then we 929 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,799 Speaker 1: went into theater and again the weirdest thing in this 930 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:40,560 Speaker 1: whole world universe thing. My mum had just been going 931 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,520 Speaker 1: through breast cancer treatment, which was very unexpected, and it 932 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:47,120 Speaker 1: happened in my third trimester and she was in one 933 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,600 Speaker 1: of her very last radiation. 934 00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:50,920 Speaker 2: It all went as well as could be expected. 935 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,319 Speaker 1: She had surgery really quickly and they got most of it, 936 00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:55,759 Speaker 1: caught it really early, and then she had to do 937 00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:57,719 Speaker 1: fifteen days of radiation and I think it was like 938 00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:01,120 Speaker 1: day fourteen she was very close to the end and 939 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,080 Speaker 1: we called her to say my waters had broken and 940 00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,200 Speaker 1: she said, I'm also on level too at Kabrini. 941 00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:09,000 Speaker 2: So she was in the hospital and said, I'm on 942 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,120 Speaker 2: the same level. I'm just in a different building. I'll 943 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:11,879 Speaker 2: come and meet you. 944 00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:15,839 Speaker 1: And Rob said, I am also obviously, will go into 945 00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,480 Speaker 1: an appointment with her. She said, I'm also here. I'm 946 00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,640 Speaker 1: going on my wedding anniversary holiday at four am in 947 00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:25,719 Speaker 1: the morning. So he got me just on time. And 948 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:28,759 Speaker 1: then the person who I had booked for recovery was 949 00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:32,560 Speaker 1: Katie my Osteo, who is never on a Thursday night, 950 00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,239 Speaker 1: and she happened to be the person who I went 951 00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:36,560 Speaker 1: straight into recovery with. So it was just like Teddy knew. 952 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,120 Speaker 1: He's like, everyone's in the building. Yeah, let's just do 953 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:39,480 Speaker 1: it tonight. 954 00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,399 Speaker 3: I'll just do it now, you're coming. 955 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm ready. I just don't want to miss out 956 00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:45,080 Speaker 2: on the fun. 957 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:47,919 Speaker 3: Did Nick grace home in between if he had those 958 00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:49,800 Speaker 3: five hours, did he go home and get your stuff? 959 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,160 Speaker 1: Yes? Yeah, So they told him like nothing is going 960 00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:54,000 Speaker 1: to ramp up. They monitored me for an hour and 961 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,120 Speaker 1: they're like it's not going quickly enough to worry, go 962 00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:59,360 Speaker 1: and get your stuff. I mean he's spared home. He 963 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,359 Speaker 1: was there and back too quickly to have been going 964 00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,280 Speaker 1: under the speed limit, but yeah, he went and got everything, 965 00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:09,040 Speaker 1: came back and mum was there as well, and they 966 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,279 Speaker 1: spent that sort of five hours with me. Yeah, and 967 00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:14,279 Speaker 1: then we went in and it sort of was so 968 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,560 Speaker 1: weird to know. I think the thing with the C 969 00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:20,120 Speaker 1: section that was weird for me is they're like, yeah, 970 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:21,759 Speaker 1: he'll literally be out in ten minutes. I was like, 971 00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:25,239 Speaker 1: what what, what do you Yeah, and they're like, yeah, 972 00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:28,279 Speaker 1: a lot of it's the prep for the anesthetic, but 973 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:30,520 Speaker 1: then once they kind of open you up, he just 974 00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:31,000 Speaker 1: comes out. 975 00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:32,600 Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I'm going to be a mom in 976 00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:36,280 Speaker 2: like ten minutes. What do you mean? It was so weird? 977 00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:38,920 Speaker 2: Did you call Sarah? 978 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,879 Speaker 3: Sarah wasn't just happened to be in the hallways as well? 979 00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:45,439 Speaker 2: Did you call her? Imaginant? That would have just been weird. Yeah. 980 00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:47,120 Speaker 1: I called her straight away and she came in, so 981 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:49,000 Speaker 1: she was there for that whole lead up as well, 982 00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:52,400 Speaker 1: and then talking through ways and it was really beautiful. 983 00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:56,000 Speaker 1: It was by then embrace the idea of a cesarean 984 00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,600 Speaker 1: and that it could still be made as beautiful. It 985 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,520 Speaker 1: is still the moment you become a parent. It is 986 00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,360 Speaker 1: still the first time you see your baby. I was 987 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:06,160 Speaker 1: still with the amazing team that I thought I would 988 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:10,000 Speaker 1: be with. There are ways to make it not feel 989 00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:14,960 Speaker 1: like a kind of sterile, scheduled thing, and it obviously 990 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,200 Speaker 1: wasn't scheduled for me. It was still a surprise, So 991 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,360 Speaker 1: there was that element as well. And you know, Myobe's amazing. 992 00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,799 Speaker 1: She always has rainbow scrubs or like under the CEA 993 00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:24,479 Speaker 1: theme or something. 994 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,200 Speaker 2: And she walked in and. 995 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:27,920 Speaker 1: The first time she walked in, she had gum boots on, 996 00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:31,200 Speaker 1: and she brought in this neon pink sign that said 997 00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:33,719 Speaker 1: you are amazing, and just had that as the light, 998 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:35,880 Speaker 1: like turn off all the lights. This was in that 999 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,080 Speaker 1: five hours, so she was like, we're gonna make this amazing. 1000 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:41,799 Speaker 1: It's going to be absolutely lovely. She took the sign 1001 00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:44,440 Speaker 1: with it. She borrowed it from another patient who had 1002 00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:48,040 Speaker 1: finished you can't just take this, and then she brought 1003 00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:50,600 Speaker 1: it from that room into the operating theater, so it 1004 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:54,279 Speaker 1: was there and I think, you know, I do know 1005 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:58,879 Speaker 1: women have come away from Cesarian's feeling disappointed. And I 1006 00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:01,920 Speaker 1: had enough time and enough amazing people that it didn't 1007 00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,600 Speaker 1: feel that way. It was still magical. It was still 1008 00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:06,279 Speaker 1: like I'm becoming a mum right now. 1009 00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,839 Speaker 3: M And I think the common thread all in all 1010 00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:12,840 Speaker 3: the research is having that continuity and having a support 1011 00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,759 Speaker 3: team which you'd handpicked and the universe had sent to 1012 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,640 Speaker 3: you at the right time. But you had that so 1013 00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,200 Speaker 3: you didn't have to Everybody knew you, so they knew 1014 00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:23,040 Speaker 3: how to support you, and they knew you kind of 1015 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,720 Speaker 3: wishes and what you guys would want. So, yeah, sounds 1016 00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,600 Speaker 3: so nice. Was he crying when he came out. 1017 00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, so he's such a sweet little boy. 1018 00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:35,600 Speaker 1: He's got such a lovely temperament, and that started from 1019 00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:38,560 Speaker 1: the start. So I was worried because he didn't really cry. 1020 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,080 Speaker 1: He sort of just did one big cry. He just 1021 00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:44,080 Speaker 1: went ah, and like it was the first noise I heard, 1022 00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:47,120 Speaker 1: and I just remember I got goosebumps, Like I knew 1023 00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,279 Speaker 1: that it was coming, and I knew he was coming out, 1024 00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:52,880 Speaker 1: but just to hear the noise and independent noise that 1025 00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:56,200 Speaker 1: he was alive, it just I cut I still, like, 1026 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:58,239 Speaker 1: I don't know how to explain it. But then he 1027 00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:00,520 Speaker 1: didn't keep crying, so then I sort of free out, like, 1028 00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:04,480 Speaker 1: why isn't he crying? But what had happened is I 1029 00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:08,200 Speaker 1: was contracting and they had to pull him out in 1030 00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:11,080 Speaker 1: between contractions, which had become quite strong by then, So 1031 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,759 Speaker 1: instead of just opening me and pulling him out, they 1032 00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,400 Speaker 1: opened and then had to pull in between. So they 1033 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,719 Speaker 1: pulled one leg and then apparently they pulled the other leg. 1034 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,319 Speaker 1: Then they had to wait to pull his head out, 1035 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:23,879 Speaker 1: and he did the little cry and then it pulled 1036 00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:24,440 Speaker 1: him back in. 1037 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,360 Speaker 2: So yeah, so they were like, oh no, oh my god. 1038 00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:31,040 Speaker 1: So then when they got it, so they got him out, 1039 00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:33,560 Speaker 1: he did the one scream, he went back in, and 1040 00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:37,040 Speaker 1: then they got him out and were pulling quite hard. 1041 00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:38,000 Speaker 2: And I didn't know. 1042 00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:41,239 Speaker 1: I knew that you wouldn't feel pain. I didn't know 1043 00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,759 Speaker 1: you'd feel so much pulling, which was so weird, like 1044 00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:46,920 Speaker 1: my shoulders were moving around, and Nick was just like, 1045 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,440 Speaker 1: oh my god, what's going on. I was like, I 1046 00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:51,920 Speaker 1: don't know, it's so strange. We had the curtain down 1047 00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,080 Speaker 1: until they sort of pulled him out and put him 1048 00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:56,000 Speaker 1: on my chest, and it. 1049 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:56,760 Speaker 2: Was so beautiful. 1050 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,960 Speaker 1: His eyes are wide open, but he wasn't breathing very 1051 00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,960 Speaker 1: well and he was starting to go a little purple 1052 00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:06,160 Speaker 1: and wasn't crying, and I think it was because he'd 1053 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:10,799 Speaker 1: had air, got used to the universe, and then went 1054 00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:12,759 Speaker 1: back in and then was like, oh my god, how 1055 00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:14,399 Speaker 1: do I breathe? So then they had to take him 1056 00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:18,080 Speaker 1: away to the like only to the sort of resuscitation table, 1057 00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:21,719 Speaker 1: put a little, tiny, little oxygen mask on him, but 1058 00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:23,799 Speaker 1: straight away he went pink. So he was getting air 1059 00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:26,640 Speaker 1: and I was getting live updates and they were reassuring 1060 00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,640 Speaker 1: me a lot like he's okay, and Nick had gone 1061 00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:31,720 Speaker 1: straight over with him, and then he came back pretty 1062 00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:33,879 Speaker 1: much five to ten minutes after that, so I got 1063 00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:37,920 Speaker 1: skinned to skin straight after that, and yeah, it was 1064 00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:39,920 Speaker 1: just I still can't believe it happened. 1065 00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:41,400 Speaker 2: It still seemed so surreal. 1066 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,360 Speaker 1: And then you get that time with them on you 1067 00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:46,160 Speaker 1: while they stitch you back up because of course you've 1068 00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:47,240 Speaker 1: just undergone. 1069 00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:48,040 Speaker 2: Major adominal surgery. 1070 00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,799 Speaker 1: And then I had to go to recovery, which was 1071 00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,520 Speaker 1: one thing I was worried about at the time that 1072 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,279 Speaker 1: I had to go for half an hour while they 1073 00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,920 Speaker 1: took all my vitals and they Teddy went. 1074 00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,560 Speaker 2: Somewhere else, which I was sort of like, I like no, but. 1075 00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:04,320 Speaker 1: Nick went with him and they had this incredible bonding 1076 00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:08,879 Speaker 1: time together where Nick had him like skinned to skin 1077 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,160 Speaker 1: for that whole half an hour and he got weighed. 1078 00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,359 Speaker 1: They kind of put his first nappy on, Nick did 1079 00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:16,839 Speaker 1: his first nappy change. They sort of like, here, here's 1080 00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,720 Speaker 1: this newborn. And I've had a lot of experience with babies. 1081 00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,160 Speaker 2: Nick has had none, and he was just like, what 1082 00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,960 Speaker 2: do I do? But by the time I got back 1083 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:29,239 Speaker 2: to the room, he just become a dad. Like in 1084 00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:31,720 Speaker 2: that half an hour. It was bizarre. 1085 00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,640 Speaker 1: It's almost like you fall in love with your partner 1086 00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:35,359 Speaker 1: again because you're like, that's what we made. 1087 00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,280 Speaker 3: And is it interesting? Because you're adopted, he's your first 1088 00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:42,080 Speaker 3: biological link that you are connected with and know, and 1089 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:45,120 Speaker 3: he looks obviously very Asian and a lot like you. 1090 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,719 Speaker 3: And I know Nick's got some Asian heritage as well, 1091 00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:51,279 Speaker 3: but was there something quite special about seeing that and 1092 00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:52,520 Speaker 3: seeing that he looked like you. 1093 00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:55,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, it only hit me. I think halfway through the 1094 00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,520 Speaker 1: pregnancy that he would be my first blood relative, like 1095 00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:59,840 Speaker 1: I just forget. I think one of the most beautiful 1096 00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:01,920 Speaker 1: things about our adoption is we forget all the time, 1097 00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:05,560 Speaker 1: and even though we're very Asian looking at it, My 1098 00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:07,200 Speaker 1: mom's extremely Caucasian. 1099 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:10,239 Speaker 3: It's just show not does that too about gluten intolerance, 1100 00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:12,680 Speaker 3: And I'm like, you guys aren't biologically LinkedIn. 1101 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,719 Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, yeah, I didn't eat pork so 1102 00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:18,040 Speaker 1: my whole life until I was in my late twenties 1103 00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,000 Speaker 1: because I thought I inherited it from my mom. 1104 00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:24,680 Speaker 2: Like it's beautiful, how easily how connected you are. 1105 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, And interestingly, people when we're out and about, they 1106 00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:31,319 Speaker 1: always say, like you and your mum, like they know 1107 00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:34,320 Speaker 1: from our body language, or people assume that I'm half 1108 00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:38,279 Speaker 1: and my dad's Asian. It's really interesting how easily you 1109 00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:41,920 Speaker 1: can forget that, and how I'm always believe it's because 1110 00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,279 Speaker 1: of that that, you know, I think a lot of 1111 00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:46,400 Speaker 1: people think blood is thicker than water, but I've just 1112 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:48,320 Speaker 1: thought love is thicker than anything. 1113 00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:50,040 Speaker 2: Like that's kind of the bond that we have. 1114 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,840 Speaker 1: But it did dawn on me a lot of things 1115 00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:56,200 Speaker 1: that were significant that have never been significant until pregnancy. 1116 00:51:57,239 --> 00:52:01,320 Speaker 1: For example, that from now until Tea being five months old, 1117 00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:04,600 Speaker 1: mom didn't see because she only got us at five 1118 00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:08,399 Speaker 1: months old, and so she's gone through the ultrasounds and 1119 00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,080 Speaker 1: the newborn phase, like everything is brand new for her. 1120 00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,759 Speaker 1: As well, which is so magical to watch her go 1121 00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:15,840 Speaker 1: through it. And then when he was born, it was 1122 00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:19,000 Speaker 1: like he looked like my brother weirdly, and we're not 1123 00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:23,600 Speaker 1: biologically related, but he had like his nose and I 1124 00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,120 Speaker 1: didn't see it sort of straight away because it was 1125 00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:27,680 Speaker 1: like a little squishy newborn. 1126 00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:30,560 Speaker 2: But by about a week he was doing some things 1127 00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,239 Speaker 2: that I was like, you look like me. 1128 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,799 Speaker 1: And now more and more as his face develops, people 1129 00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:38,840 Speaker 1: are saying like, he really looks like you, and I'm like, 1130 00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:43,120 Speaker 1: that's so cool. I've just never seen my features reflecting 1131 00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:48,040 Speaker 1: in somebody and it's so beautiful and weird and magical. 1132 00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:52,479 Speaker 3: Yeah. Ah, And I mean primal always springs to mind, 1133 00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:56,239 Speaker 3: but it's just so kind of grounding birth and pregnancy 1134 00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:58,759 Speaker 3: and things, Isn't it just the kind of connection there. 1135 00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:02,719 Speaker 3: We were chatting before we hit record about breastfeeding. Did 1136 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:06,000 Speaker 3: you do much preparation in your pregnancy? I mean, it 1137 00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:09,359 Speaker 3: seems like almost a silly thing to say, because you can. 1138 00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:14,359 Speaker 3: I obviously support and definitely recommend people do learn about 1139 00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:18,000 Speaker 3: breastfeeding in pregnancy, but it's so different to actually doing it. 1140 00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:19,440 Speaker 3: Did you do some It's. 1141 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:23,759 Speaker 1: So funny breastfeeding, especially like definitely is the case that 1142 00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:28,160 Speaker 1: you can't prepare for any of it in theory, but 1143 00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:31,720 Speaker 1: the whole experience, I said to you before we started recording, 1144 00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:34,439 Speaker 1: I felt immediately like I had to apologize to every 1145 00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:38,640 Speaker 1: parent I've ever interacted with about parenthood or their children, 1146 00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:41,719 Speaker 1: or people I've gone to the hospital to visit while 1147 00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,280 Speaker 1: they're still in the hospital, or I've gone to someone's 1148 00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:47,279 Speaker 1: house and not taken food or tried to empty their dishwashot, like, 1149 00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,719 Speaker 1: I just have done things that are so useless in 1150 00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:54,799 Speaker 1: that time because you just cannot fathom. But then also 1151 00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:57,000 Speaker 1: everyone who has done it before. You just suddenly connect 1152 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,359 Speaker 1: with these people on this new level that you've never 1153 00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:00,760 Speaker 1: had with them before. 1154 00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,120 Speaker 2: It's just so weird. It's like you've. 1155 00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:06,200 Speaker 1: Become another species or gone to another planet or something. Yeah, 1156 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:12,520 Speaker 1: just bizarre. So yes, I had through Sarah, who is 1157 00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,600 Speaker 1: just such an amazing fountain of knowledge and has an 1158 00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:19,640 Speaker 1: incredible network. We had a lactation consultant come and do 1159 00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:22,680 Speaker 1: a session with us, so she introduced basically the whole 1160 00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:26,160 Speaker 1: landscape at once, which was amazing because I just sort 1161 00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:28,120 Speaker 1: of thought, you put them on your boob and it 1162 00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:28,680 Speaker 1: works or it. 1163 00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:31,000 Speaker 2: Doesn't, like either you can or you can't. And I 1164 00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:31,960 Speaker 2: was formula fed. 1165 00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:34,040 Speaker 1: So I think one of the things that helped me 1166 00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:39,600 Speaker 1: and Nick not be to cling you towards certain outcomes 1167 00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:43,480 Speaker 1: or to judgmental of ourselves or other people if you 1168 00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:45,560 Speaker 1: had a c section or a natural birth, or if 1169 00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:49,000 Speaker 1: you're formula fed or not. Is that with adoption, like 1170 00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:52,799 Speaker 1: you kind of you've already accepted, you know, the sort 1171 00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:57,799 Speaker 1: of most just different, yeah, different way pathway to parenthood. 1172 00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:00,319 Speaker 1: And then we had to be formula fed. So I'm like, 1173 00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,359 Speaker 1: we turned out fut well, a bit weird, but we 1174 00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:06,840 Speaker 1: turned out pretty okay. So I haven't been too wedded 1175 00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,680 Speaker 1: to making something work at the expense of our health 1176 00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:11,680 Speaker 1: or at the expense of our mental health. At the 1177 00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:15,280 Speaker 1: same time, I think you can set yourself up really well, 1178 00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:18,239 Speaker 1: and you have been such a pioneer in that that 1179 00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:21,879 Speaker 1: being informed is all that matters, because then at least 1180 00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:24,120 Speaker 1: you give something a good go and you're not trying 1181 00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:27,080 Speaker 1: the wrong thing or not giving yourself a good chance. 1182 00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:31,480 Speaker 1: So we learned all about latching, and also I didn't 1183 00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:34,960 Speaker 1: realize that even if you can breastfeed. 1184 00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:39,919 Speaker 2: It still hurts like a bitch. Nipples have to get 1185 00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:40,480 Speaker 2: used to it. 1186 00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:43,040 Speaker 1: Even if you're going to end up not feeling it 1187 00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:47,080 Speaker 1: and being totally at ease, there's just this adjustment period 1188 00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:48,320 Speaker 1: that is hell. 1189 00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:50,720 Speaker 2: Hell the pain. 1190 00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:53,960 Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever been through something so painful 1191 00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:57,000 Speaker 1: as my nipples in that first two weeks. And that 1192 00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:58,920 Speaker 1: was even with a really good latch and with all 1193 00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:01,319 Speaker 1: the education behind us and that cabreed it. Were there 1194 00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:04,560 Speaker 1: for five nights and we had breastfeeding consultants coming in 1195 00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:08,600 Speaker 1: every day, and I still was like cracked and bleeding 1196 00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:10,719 Speaker 1: and still having to put him on the boob every time. 1197 00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:14,000 Speaker 2: Oh oh, I'm so glad that bit's done. But no 1198 00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:15,719 Speaker 2: one prepares you for how much you hear. 1199 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,960 Speaker 3: And a good point though that you got that you're 1200 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,400 Speaker 3: through it like it. You've kind of they've recovered. 1201 00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:23,600 Speaker 1: Yes, and people and I just turned a corner one 1202 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,640 Speaker 1: day and I suddenly understood when everyone said, even if 1203 00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:29,120 Speaker 1: it's going well, you still just have to get through 1204 00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:31,640 Speaker 1: that bit, and even if you've had a child before, 1205 00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:33,600 Speaker 1: even on your second child and third child, you have 1206 00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:35,160 Speaker 1: to go through it again to get your skin used 1207 00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:39,680 Speaker 1: to it. So don't give up, don't push through to 1208 00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:41,840 Speaker 1: the point of killing yourself, which I know some women 1209 00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:44,720 Speaker 1: do because there is a lot of stigma around formula, 1210 00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,719 Speaker 1: and even with some of the breastfeeding consultants, there are 1211 00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:49,880 Speaker 1: some old school views that get very pushed on you, 1212 00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:53,120 Speaker 1: and I think women have made you feel incredibly bad 1213 00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:55,680 Speaker 1: if they can't breastfeed, which many can't, or if they 1214 00:56:55,719 --> 00:56:59,359 Speaker 1: need to supplement. I've been president of the Itty Bitty 1215 00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:02,359 Speaker 1: Titty Committee my whole life. I've never had boobs, so 1216 00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:05,279 Speaker 1: I had no faith that they could perform. And it's 1217 00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:07,480 Speaker 1: got nothing to do with size. It's got nothing to 1218 00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:10,240 Speaker 1: do really with you doing anything. It's not your fault. 1219 00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:14,320 Speaker 1: It's I do not deserve. I have never had boobs 1220 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,920 Speaker 1: or been a boob representative. I do not deserve to 1221 00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:17,600 Speaker 1: breastfeed well. 1222 00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:18,000 Speaker 2: But for some. 1223 00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:20,560 Speaker 1: Reason, my milk came in really easily, even after a 1224 00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:24,320 Speaker 1: sea section. So don't be hard on yourself. And I 1225 00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:27,040 Speaker 1: think I know women who have pushed themselves beyond to 1226 00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:30,400 Speaker 1: try and make it work just because of the stigma 1227 00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,280 Speaker 1: attached to going to formula. But at the same time, 1228 00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:35,600 Speaker 1: don't give up too early because it's painful no matter what. 1229 00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:37,840 Speaker 1: So I kind of feel like that's a weird message 1230 00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:38,920 Speaker 1: to give people, But. 1231 00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:43,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, get through the first six weeks and then decide yeah. 1232 00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:44,959 Speaker 2: And people would say just hang in there. 1233 00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:48,959 Speaker 1: And I really remember at one point balling my eyes 1234 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:52,040 Speaker 1: out and someone saying that for them it was at 1235 00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,040 Speaker 1: four weeks, and for me, I was two weeks in 1236 00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:57,200 Speaker 1: and I just thought, that's too long, Like two weeks, 1237 00:57:57,240 --> 00:57:59,360 Speaker 1: I need to hear that in two days I'll feel better. 1238 00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:03,320 Speaker 1: And I did end up in two days at least 1239 00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:06,440 Speaker 1: feeling incrementally better to see the light to keep going. 1240 00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:11,200 Speaker 1: But it just that felt like a million years. Had 1241 00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:12,200 Speaker 1: you set things up? 1242 00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:14,160 Speaker 3: I know you were reflecting on, oh God, I went 1243 00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,160 Speaker 3: to the hospital to see people and stuff. Had you 1244 00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:19,240 Speaker 3: set up expectations of how many people you wanted to 1245 00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,560 Speaker 3: come to the hospital or to home, or did you 1246 00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:22,920 Speaker 3: think we'll just see how we feel. 1247 00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,880 Speaker 1: We kind of have had and the same thing with work, 1248 00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:29,560 Speaker 1: we've kind of had to see how we feel approached 1249 00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:32,680 Speaker 1: to most things. But at the same time, because I 1250 00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:35,160 Speaker 1: know I'm really prone to getting over excited and also 1251 00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:38,560 Speaker 1: to having no clue before we went into it what 1252 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,280 Speaker 1: it would be like, or what we would feel like, 1253 00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:42,040 Speaker 1: or what my recovery would be like with a C 1254 00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:46,480 Speaker 1: section as well, we gave ourselves a bubble and then 1255 00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:50,160 Speaker 1: allowed it to be flexible, if that made sense. So 1256 00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:52,880 Speaker 1: before pregnancy, I wasn't very good at setting up bubbles 1257 00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:55,720 Speaker 1: to protect myself, but I thought, because I just don't 1258 00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:58,480 Speaker 1: know what this is going to be like, we pretty 1259 00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:03,360 Speaker 1: much set up like six weeks of nothing, no appointments. 1260 00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:05,840 Speaker 1: Like Nick has work, but he works from home. He 1261 00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:09,520 Speaker 1: sort of set up no physical meetings or anything. I 1262 00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:12,320 Speaker 1: have no work commitments or nothing that I had to 1263 00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:14,080 Speaker 1: be ready for. And then we also set up like 1264 00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:18,480 Speaker 1: no booked visits before that time, so as soon as 1265 00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:20,200 Speaker 1: we felt ready, we could, but we didn't sort of 1266 00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,760 Speaker 1: say to anyone or set up the expectation come over 1267 00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:25,760 Speaker 1: on this week or And it worked really well that 1268 00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:27,560 Speaker 1: he arrived early because. 1269 00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:29,720 Speaker 2: We also did didn't tell anyone that. 1270 00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:33,120 Speaker 1: He had arrived until our second last night in the hospital, 1271 00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:36,600 Speaker 1: so we created an extra bubble of five days to 1272 00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:39,480 Speaker 1: just be in it together and be in the chaos 1273 00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:42,520 Speaker 1: and not want to be on my phone. Whereas I 1274 00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:44,760 Speaker 1: knew if I'd announced it, then we'd have messages from 1275 00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,360 Speaker 1: loved ones and I'd want to respond to share in 1276 00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:51,320 Speaker 1: the joy. So we just told our parents and our 1277 00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:54,320 Speaker 1: siblings and my aunties who were really close to when 1278 00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:57,840 Speaker 1: they came to the hospital, but then by the time 1279 00:59:57,880 --> 00:59:59,480 Speaker 1: we announced, no one could kind of come because we 1280 00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:01,920 Speaker 1: were leaving them day. And then when we got home, 1281 01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:06,240 Speaker 1: we didn't invite or encourage any visits until because I 1282 01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:08,240 Speaker 1: just did not feel like I could. 1283 01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,400 Speaker 2: I don't even remember that time, yep. 1284 01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:13,400 Speaker 1: And then once it started to feel like we could 1285 01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:17,400 Speaker 1: cope with that, we just had one every sort of 1286 01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:20,360 Speaker 1: like I think we started with one in the first 1287 01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:22,600 Speaker 1: week and then it was like five days until the 1288 01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:24,640 Speaker 1: next one because that was just like whoa, oh my god, 1289 01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:28,640 Speaker 1: I'm so tired. And now we've started to have you know, 1290 01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:31,479 Speaker 1: it won every two days and it's just a short one. 1291 01:00:31,560 --> 01:00:34,680 Speaker 1: And people have been so respectful. And most of our 1292 01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:38,000 Speaker 1: friends have had kids, so they also understand. They've all 1293 01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:42,480 Speaker 1: brought home cooked food, which I just cannot express my 1294 01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:45,440 Speaker 1: gratitude for our loved ones. They have been so in 1295 01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:48,080 Speaker 1: tune and so incredible. Some of them have even done 1296 01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:50,960 Speaker 1: the dishwasher, like and they all also know that your 1297 01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:53,400 Speaker 1: social battery runs out really quickly as well. 1298 01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:54,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know to stay. 1299 01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:57,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone's just been amazing. 1300 01:00:57,720 --> 01:00:59,840 Speaker 3: I just realized when we talked about food too. We've 1301 01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:02,439 Speaker 3: glossed over and we probably don't have time. I'm not sure, 1302 01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:05,160 Speaker 3: but we didn't talk about your gestational diabetes. But were 1303 01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:07,640 Speaker 3: you like just so excited to be able to eat again, 1304 01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:09,200 Speaker 3: like all the things you want to eat. 1305 01:01:09,680 --> 01:01:11,800 Speaker 1: It's so funny. I was so stoic about it when 1306 01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:15,640 Speaker 1: it happened, and I remember being and I've shared this 1307 01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:17,840 Speaker 1: a lot on socials with other women who have had 1308 01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:20,920 Speaker 1: their diagnosis. I remember being again, there's a lot of 1309 01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:23,360 Speaker 1: stigma around it. People like, but you're fit and healthy, 1310 01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:27,000 Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's not you didn't do this is 1311 01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:29,080 Speaker 1: not to do with that at all. It's just your 1312 01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:32,240 Speaker 1: hormones and your genetics, and you know you can't do 1313 01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:35,480 Speaker 1: anything about it. So there was that overcoming that, and 1314 01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:37,560 Speaker 1: then there was overcoming the fact that you're so exhausted 1315 01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:40,840 Speaker 1: and uncomfortable in your third trimester that the admin of 1316 01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:43,960 Speaker 1: having to learn a new thing was just so exhausting 1317 01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:46,360 Speaker 1: and you just you barely can figure out what to 1318 01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:48,080 Speaker 1: eat anyway, And I. 1319 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:50,320 Speaker 2: Felt sick towards the end doing blood tests. 1320 01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, four times a day, I didn't ever need insulin, 1321 01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:55,480 Speaker 1: but that also meant I kind of had to be 1322 01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:59,160 Speaker 1: stricter with food, so I just was like, oh, another thing, 1323 01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:02,120 Speaker 1: and you're already tough. But in the end, I really 1324 01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:06,240 Speaker 1: saw the silver lining in how nourished I was. By 1325 01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:08,960 Speaker 1: the end, I felt really strong and healthy, whereas I'd 1326 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:12,840 Speaker 1: been really leaning into I'm pregnant, I can just like 1327 01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:17,000 Speaker 1: eat whatever which you can, but I was getting especially 1328 01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:21,080 Speaker 1: lazy now that uber eats exists for pregnant women, So 1329 01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:26,600 Speaker 1: it was I felt really healthy going into birth. And 1330 01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:29,960 Speaker 1: I think you also adjust to it very quickly, so 1331 01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:33,200 Speaker 1: that testing became second nature. It wasn't a drainer or anything. 1332 01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:36,400 Speaker 1: It taught me a lot about energy management and nourishing 1333 01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:41,040 Speaker 1: yourself generally. But even with that, all that like positivity. 1334 01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:42,680 Speaker 2: The day that he was. 1335 01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:45,400 Speaker 1: Born and the next meal, they were like, well, the 1336 01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:47,320 Speaker 1: main impact is on him and he's out of you. 1337 01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:49,400 Speaker 1: So my first meal that was delivered was just normal 1338 01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:50,120 Speaker 1: food with bread. 1339 01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:54,440 Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, I can eat bread 1340 01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:57,360 Speaker 2: whenever I wanted. I don't have to worry about it. 1341 01:02:57,360 --> 01:03:02,720 Speaker 2: It was bliss. Oh my god. It was amazing just 1342 01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:04,480 Speaker 2: to not have to think before you eat. 1343 01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:07,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, totally. And then you could like carver a load 1344 01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:12,040 Speaker 3: for your breastfeeding. How has your incision healed? 1345 01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:12,680 Speaker 2: Yeah? 1346 01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:16,520 Speaker 1: Really well, really well. I think one of the hardest 1347 01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:19,120 Speaker 1: things about and that I was worried about before the 1348 01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:21,520 Speaker 1: C section was that I knew in that first week, 1349 01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:24,720 Speaker 1: like I'm sure natural vaginal births you don't feel one 1350 01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:27,240 Speaker 1: hundred percent physically straight away either. 1351 01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:28,480 Speaker 2: But I was. 1352 01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:31,560 Speaker 1: Worried that you can't even sort of stand for the 1353 01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:34,680 Speaker 1: first day because you know, the drugs take like twenty 1354 01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:36,920 Speaker 1: four hours to wear off, and then you do have 1355 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,840 Speaker 1: a huge incision where they've moved all your organs around. 1356 01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,880 Speaker 1: You are in quite a bit of pain for that 1357 01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:46,440 Speaker 1: first two weeks. Definitely the first week and you're a 1358 01:03:46,440 --> 01:03:50,560 Speaker 1: bit hesitant around your physical movements, but you're also trying 1359 01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:52,680 Speaker 1: to lift your baby and learn to change nappies and 1360 01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:56,000 Speaker 1: do everything one handed. And I don't really take panatoll 1361 01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:58,200 Speaker 1: very often, so I was sort of like, oh, I 1362 01:03:58,200 --> 01:03:59,840 Speaker 1: don't really want to take too many meds. 1363 01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:02,240 Speaker 2: I just took a lot of them. 1364 01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:05,520 Speaker 1: I just did what I needed to get through and 1365 01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:07,320 Speaker 1: followed all the instructions. 1366 01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:08,440 Speaker 2: I use the compression. 1367 01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:11,480 Speaker 1: When they told me to wear the compression, I was 1368 01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:13,880 Speaker 1: horizontal as much as I could be. In between Nick 1369 01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:16,360 Speaker 1: was amazing. You really need to lean on your partner 1370 01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:18,920 Speaker 1: to do to minimize the times that you were getting 1371 01:04:18,960 --> 01:04:20,440 Speaker 1: up and down as much as you can. And we 1372 01:04:20,480 --> 01:04:22,479 Speaker 1: have stairs at home, so when I first got home, 1373 01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:25,480 Speaker 1: he would up and down, up and down, like unless 1374 01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:26,840 Speaker 1: I really needed to go down. 1375 01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:29,920 Speaker 2: We try and make sure I was not getting up 1376 01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:30,440 Speaker 2: too much. 1377 01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:35,479 Speaker 1: And it's nearly four weeks out and I almost can't 1378 01:04:35,520 --> 01:04:38,520 Speaker 1: feel it, which is quicker than I expected. 1379 01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:40,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, amazing, Yeah. 1380 01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:42,760 Speaker 1: But it does feel very intrusive at the start. 1381 01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:45,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you felt fine about physically touching and 1382 01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:46,400 Speaker 3: massaging the scar. 1383 01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:50,720 Speaker 1: Only in the last week I've had this like a 1384 01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:54,240 Speaker 1: second skin, like a really intense dressing on it, which 1385 01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:58,400 Speaker 1: I don't have to take off until the six week appointment. 1386 01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:00,480 Speaker 1: And it's so far it's lasted really well, so that's 1387 01:05:00,520 --> 01:05:02,600 Speaker 1: allowed it to just be protected. You can shower, you 1388 01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:05,280 Speaker 1: don't even have to think about it. It's waterproof. But 1389 01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:09,560 Speaker 1: it was very very tender until and I had quite 1390 01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:12,400 Speaker 1: a bit of swelling above it with all the just 1391 01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:16,160 Speaker 1: liquid that's going through your body. And then I actually 1392 01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:20,000 Speaker 1: had no water attention or puffiness during pregnancy and in 1393 01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:23,080 Speaker 1: the week immediately after, but once I got home, suddenly 1394 01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:25,640 Speaker 1: my lymphatic system just couldn't deal, and I got really 1395 01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:28,840 Speaker 1: puffy and needed to wear compression socks, and then the 1396 01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:29,880 Speaker 1: wound got really. 1397 01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:31,479 Speaker 2: Puffy and was still quite sore. 1398 01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:34,720 Speaker 1: But I would say around the three week mark it 1399 01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:38,040 Speaker 1: became I'm not avoiding it. I was avoiding it, like 1400 01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:41,080 Speaker 1: really actively avoiding that area. It wasn't as sore to 1401 01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,840 Speaker 1: move around, but to touch it was sore. And now 1402 01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:47,120 Speaker 1: I am using oil to sort of just gently massage 1403 01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:48,680 Speaker 1: the area and it does remove a lot of the 1404 01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:52,360 Speaker 1: swelling to kind of give it that massage, And I'm 1405 01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:56,080 Speaker 1: sure once the dressing comes off, I'll try and do 1406 01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:58,440 Speaker 1: a lot of scar management as well in that area. 1407 01:05:58,560 --> 01:06:00,920 Speaker 1: But it's been a lot quicker than I thought, and 1408 01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:04,040 Speaker 1: the swelling has gone down a lot with the massage. Yeah, 1409 01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:06,440 Speaker 1: it's actually just the body is amazing. 1410 01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:08,520 Speaker 3: And he is ridiculously cute. And I know I've got 1411 01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:10,160 Speaker 3: three of my own kids, but he's right up there 1412 01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:13,480 Speaker 3: and he's so cute. Do you find I know, Johnah 1413 01:06:13,520 --> 01:06:15,959 Speaker 3: and I are fighting with the first there's a little 1414 01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:17,200 Speaker 3: bit of like it's my tent to hold me? 1415 01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:19,600 Speaker 1: Now, do you have a little bit of my whole family? 1416 01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:22,080 Speaker 1: Like my mum comes over and she's like, I don't 1417 01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:24,600 Speaker 1: wonder why you shouldn't wake away you wake a sleeping baby, 1418 01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:25,880 Speaker 1: but can you wake him up? Because I really want 1419 01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:28,120 Speaker 1: to cuddle him, Like I don't want to interrupt your system, 1420 01:06:28,120 --> 01:06:32,040 Speaker 1: but I kind of do. We just love him so much, 1421 01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:34,240 Speaker 1: and yeah, I definitely I think we're all so biased. 1422 01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:38,240 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm like, he's objectively really beautiful. 1423 01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:41,560 Speaker 2: He really is. He's a really cute baby. 1424 01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:44,120 Speaker 3: He's gifted and talented and all the things. So he's 1425 01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:45,320 Speaker 3: so advanced. 1426 01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:49,040 Speaker 1: He's definitely going in an accelerated program. He's next break, 1427 01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:51,760 Speaker 1: he's doing tummy time and he's holding his neck up. 1428 01:06:52,120 --> 01:06:54,920 Speaker 2: I did not expect that. I thought that'd be so wobbly. 1429 01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:56,840 Speaker 2: He's really strong. 1430 01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:59,480 Speaker 1: But I think also because he didn't go through the 1431 01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:02,360 Speaker 1: birth canw and we didn't need fourceeps or anything. He 1432 01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:06,440 Speaker 1: also was like quite formed from the start. 1433 01:07:06,240 --> 01:07:08,000 Speaker 3: Which was instant squished. 1434 01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:10,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, he wasn't squished, so I was like, oh, yeah, 1435 01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:10,840 Speaker 2: so pretty. 1436 01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:14,040 Speaker 1: How much did he way then three point one when 1437 01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:16,320 Speaker 1: he was born so not as heavy as we were expecting. 1438 01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:18,920 Speaker 1: I didn't realize the variance is about eighteen percent to 1439 01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:22,000 Speaker 1: an ultrasound, so we thought he was massive and his 1440 01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:24,640 Speaker 1: head was big, but he wasn't as big as we 1441 01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:29,919 Speaker 1: had been expecting. And then my milk took about three 1442 01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:32,480 Speaker 1: and a half to four days to come in, and 1443 01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:36,080 Speaker 1: I'd expressed a lot of colostrum in the weeks prior, 1444 01:07:36,240 --> 01:07:38,480 Speaker 1: so we had enough to keep in going for two 1445 01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:40,240 Speaker 1: and a half three days. 1446 01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:42,080 Speaker 2: The third day he. 1447 01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:45,080 Speaker 1: Didn't have enough and was starting to lose weight, and 1448 01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:47,919 Speaker 1: I think they're happy with ten percent, but he got 1449 01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:51,160 Speaker 1: into eleven percent, which was still okay, but they wanted 1450 01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:54,240 Speaker 1: to arrest the trend, so we ended up feeding him 1451 01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:57,280 Speaker 1: formula twice. And that was around the time where I 1452 01:07:57,280 --> 01:08:00,760 Speaker 1: sort of realized some people still really talk about it 1453 01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:02,000 Speaker 1: in quite a stigmatized way. 1454 01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:02,720 Speaker 2: They were like, oh, we. 1455 01:08:02,720 --> 01:08:04,080 Speaker 1: Don't want to give you the F word, and I 1456 01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:08,120 Speaker 1: was like, does it matter. He's hungry, And that just 1457 01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:10,400 Speaker 1: saw him through and helped him turn a corner. And 1458 01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:12,600 Speaker 1: then my milk could come in and I was expressing 1459 01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:15,560 Speaker 1: and he started putting weight back on, and I think 1460 01:08:15,560 --> 01:08:17,719 Speaker 1: he got back to his birth weight by about three weeks. 1461 01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:22,360 Speaker 1: And yeah, and now he's just gotten to the stage 1462 01:08:22,360 --> 01:08:24,320 Speaker 1: where the ones is that he started in that his 1463 01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:27,479 Speaker 1: feet wouldn't even reach the little feet pocket thing he's 1464 01:08:27,720 --> 01:08:28,760 Speaker 1: pushing at the end of. 1465 01:08:28,720 --> 01:08:31,759 Speaker 2: Them now, and I'm like, that's happening too fast. 1466 01:08:33,040 --> 01:08:35,599 Speaker 3: You'd be putting them away for the next one soon. 1467 01:08:46,120 --> 01:08:47,880 Speaker 3: I feel like we could talk all day, but I 1468 01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:50,400 Speaker 3: better let you get back to him because he's teeny tiny. 1469 01:08:50,479 --> 01:08:52,479 Speaker 3: But thank you so much. It was so lovely to 1470 01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:53,320 Speaker 3: hear your story. 1471 01:08:53,760 --> 01:08:55,760 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I feel like 1472 01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:57,240 Speaker 2: there's so much else. I'm like, oh my god, there's 1473 01:08:57,240 --> 01:08:58,160 Speaker 2: so much I want to talk about. 1474 01:08:58,439 --> 01:09:00,720 Speaker 3: I have to get you back when you've had a 1475 01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:02,599 Speaker 3: bit more postpartum. You'll have to come back and tell 1476 01:09:02,680 --> 01:09:03,919 Speaker 3: us more about post fudom. 1477 01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:06,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much for having me. You know, 1478 01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:10,360 Speaker 1: your podcast and your book and community have been such 1479 01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:16,000 Speaker 1: a just safe space and has helped me feel so confident. 1480 01:09:16,160 --> 01:09:18,960 Speaker 1: And I really didn't go into it feeling much fear, 1481 01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:22,880 Speaker 1: and I think that's quite rare but also very very 1482 01:09:22,960 --> 01:09:25,559 Speaker 1: much attributed to your work. So I'm so grateful for 1483 01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:26,320 Speaker 1: everything you do. 1484 01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:27,639 Speaker 3: Oh thanks. 1485 01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:30,320 Speaker 1: Well, I don't know if any of that made sense, 1486 01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:33,240 Speaker 1: And again, as I mentioned, I feel like I forgot 1487 01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:35,559 Speaker 1: to say so many things. There were so many other details, 1488 01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:37,760 Speaker 1: But I also completely run myself short of time and 1489 01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:40,880 Speaker 1: poor Sophie just got an ear bashing. I loved reliving it. 1490 01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,920 Speaker 1: I can't imagine ever emerging from this newborn bliss. So 1491 01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:46,080 Speaker 1: I'm not sure when the next follow up episode will be, 1492 01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:48,559 Speaker 1: but I do promise it will come eventually. I have 1493 01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:50,880 Speaker 1: so much more to say with the life lessons and 1494 01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:54,559 Speaker 1: revelations coming thick and fast every single day. You've probably 1495 01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:56,839 Speaker 1: seen a few ted Talks which have now been renamed 1496 01:09:56,880 --> 01:10:01,519 Speaker 1: Teddy Talks on socials about things that I'm learning each day, 1497 01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:03,959 Speaker 1: but I somehow have lesson less time to actually articulate 1498 01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:06,240 Speaker 1: them for you. So TBC for now on the follow 1499 01:10:06,320 --> 01:10:08,680 Speaker 1: up episode, but I promise it will come. Thank you 1500 01:10:08,760 --> 01:10:11,160 Speaker 1: so much for listening, and thank you so much again 1501 01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:14,160 Speaker 1: to Sophie for being such a wonderful and thorough host, 1502 01:10:14,520 --> 01:10:16,120 Speaker 1: not that I really gave her the chance to ask 1503 01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:19,200 Speaker 1: any questions. Apologies for chewing your ear off, soph and 1504 01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:22,400 Speaker 1: you guys, but I hope it was informative and interesting. 1505 01:10:23,040 --> 01:10:24,840 Speaker 1: In the meantime, I hope you guys are having a 1506 01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:28,479 Speaker 1: wonderful week. It's been after having just recorded that the 1507 01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:31,479 Speaker 1: first four weeks were wonderful and very smooth, or smooth 1508 01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:34,160 Speaker 1: than at least I expected, even though they were chaotic. 1509 01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:37,639 Speaker 1: We've had this week a couple of nights of projectile vomits, 1510 01:10:37,920 --> 01:10:41,000 Speaker 1: of maternal and child health appointments, of five hours of 1511 01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:44,559 Speaker 1: unexplained crying. It's been a little bit messier, and that's 1512 01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:45,080 Speaker 1: all part of. 1513 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,920 Speaker 2: The beautiful chaos. So you know that I love to 1514 01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:49,720 Speaker 2: share the bloops. There's a lot of bloops. 1515 01:10:49,880 --> 01:10:52,000 Speaker 1: They're just free flowing, and I'll keep sharing those of 1516 01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:53,960 Speaker 1: your way as well, so that you're getting all the 1517 01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:55,840 Speaker 1: side of the picture as usual. But yes, I hope 1518 01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:57,880 Speaker 1: you guys are having a wonderful week. Thank you so 1519 01:10:58,000 --> 01:11:00,200 Speaker 1: much for sharing in our joy, and I hope you're 1520 01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:11,040 Speaker 1: all saving you're ya.