Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mama Miya acknowledges
Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast
Speaker 1: is recorded on. Hello, it's Mia here, and I wanted
Speaker 1: to share with you a podcast interview that I didn't
Speaker 1: do but I wish I had. It's from our sister
Speaker 1: podcast Mid where Holly Wainwright interviews incredible gen X women
Speaker 1: with incredible stories, and this is one that I particularly
Speaker 1: think you're gonna love. So my Jade McKinnon was a big,
Speaker 1: famous TV star in Australia. You might know her better
Speaker 1: as Stevie, the character she played in McLeod's Daughters that
Speaker 1: was such a beloved part of Australian entertainment and was
Speaker 1: such a huge thing on our TV screens. She then
Speaker 1: went to Hollywood. She was Ali in Baywatch and that's
Speaker 1: where she worked alongside her fiance at the time, Jason Momoa,
Speaker 1: before everything changed. He went on to marry a big
Speaker 1: Hollywood star. Then he became a Hollywood star. He now
Speaker 1: makes millions and is incredibly famous. But simone, Jade's life
Speaker 1: was very, very different. She didn't stay in Hollywood, she
Speaker 1: didn't make millions. Instead, she became a single mother, and
Speaker 1: for a long time she was really really broke. It's
Speaker 1: such a fascinating story because I think so often we
Speaker 1: think that just because someone's face is recognizable and they
Speaker 1: were famous once, that their life will be happily ever after.
Speaker 1: And her story is actually so much more interesting than that,
Speaker 1: and so much more meaningful. Enjoy this episode of Mid
Speaker 1: with Simone Jade McKinnon interviewed by hollywain Right. And if
Speaker 1: you want to hear more amazing stories like this, go
Speaker 1: follow Mid wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2: The midlife woman of Hollywood's imagination lives in a windswept
Speaker 2: beach house, or in a chic Brooklyn brownstone, maybe a
Speaker 2: tasteful Hampton style home with a kitchen island the size
Speaker 2: of a pool table, an ape burn, a stone, and
Speaker 2: a butler's pantry out the back. She wears tasteful roll
Speaker 2: necks as she dips in and out of a fulfilling
Speaker 2: career at will, usually something she can work on at
Speaker 2: that home. Billowing with the smell of freshly baked bread,
Speaker 2: she returns from the farmer's market with arms full of
Speaker 2: freshly cut daffodils, and she brunches like she lunches often
Speaker 2: and without ever lowering her eyes to the bottom of
Speaker 2: the bill. Maybe you live like that, More likely you don't.
Speaker 2: There's something we don't like to talk about that matters
Speaker 2: more than almost anything when you're mid money, because it's
Speaker 2: a time of life when choices you weren't even aware
Speaker 2: you were making at twenty and thirty can come home
Speaker 2: and build a stinky nest on your shoulder like a
Speaker 2: squawking raven or a sweary parrot. Chose a career for love,
Speaker 2: not money. Squawk decided to study another few years. Squawk
Speaker 2: saved travels spent, save to travel spent. Squawk got blindsided
Speaker 2: by the call to care for someone you love. Squawk
Speaker 2: seduced by the free money promise of a shiny new
Speaker 2: credit card. Squawk didn't push for that pay rise because
Speaker 2: it's not what good girls do. Squawk stopped working to
Speaker 2: be with your little kids and put your financial security
Speaker 2: in the hands of someone you thought you could always
Speaker 2: trust Squawk. Squawk. Squawk worked in a caring profession. Squawk.
Speaker 2: None of those non decisions were wrong. The very idea
Speaker 2: that there are years ahead when times will change and
Speaker 2: it might be harder to get a job, earn money
Speaker 2: get yourself out of a difficult spot seems like science
Speaker 2: fiction when you're young and happy to toddle a high
Speaker 2: wire without even asking about a safety net. We don't
Speaker 2: like to talk about it because of what happens when
Speaker 2: you fall. By mid women to know what's what, be
Speaker 2: mature and careful and planned. We're supposed to see a
Speaker 2: clear path ahead that promises comfort and choice. But we're
Speaker 2: not immune, no matter what gen Z tell us daily
Speaker 2: from the pressures and problems of an ever more expensive
Speaker 2: world as our perceived value falls. We have mortgages and
Speaker 2: rent to make. We have families of all ages and
Speaker 2: stages to feed and care for. The cost of caring
Speaker 2: for your parents, for yourself when you need it, sales
Speaker 2: ever higher and taps you awake at night as you
Speaker 2: add and subtract and shift in your head. For one
Speaker 2: parent families, those maths get heavier and more complex. You've
Speaker 2: heard I'm sure about the fifty something women living in
Speaker 2: their cars, that it's the group of us most likely
Speaker 2: to find themselves without a home. Maybe it's closer for
Speaker 2: you than a report on the news. And then also,
Speaker 2: we're maybe the first generation of women to have earned
Speaker 2: well en mass the first to have serious choice about
Speaker 2: this phase of our lives. To build wealth, we need
Speaker 2: to thank no one for our rebellious generation is all
Speaker 2: over the place and at all the extremes, which is
Speaker 2: for us pretty standard. Perhaps the most goal post shifting
Speaker 2: thing we can do right here is to do what
Speaker 2: our mothers didn't show each other as sweary parrots and
Speaker 2: talk about money. Hello. I am Holly Wainwright and I
Speaker 2: am Mid mid Life, mid Family, mid overwhelm. Welcome to
Speaker 2: our show for gen X women who are anything but mid.
Speaker 2: And I want to say that we get quite a
Speaker 2: lot of messages here at mid from people who don't
Speaker 2: fall into that specific generation but love the conversations we're
Speaker 2: having here, and I want to say to you welcome.
Speaker 2: Mid is a state of mind, friends, as well as
Speaker 2: a very real place. As the generation sometimes referred to
Speaker 2: as the forgotten one between the much maligned boomers and millennials.
Speaker 2: We're always happy when we're noticed and people want to
Speaker 2: sit with us. You can sit with us, So take
Speaker 2: a seat, because today we're talking about money with someone
Speaker 2: who knows as well as many that not everyone over
Speaker 2: thirty or forty is rich, not even everyone who's well
Speaker 2: known is rich. Not even everyone who was in an
Speaker 2: iconic TV show in the Nordies is rich. See where
Speaker 2: I'm going. Simone Jade McKinnon was and is to many
Speaker 2: Stevie from McLeod's Daughters if you're not familiar. That show
Speaker 2: about a family of rural women in Australia's telegenic outback
Speaker 2: was massive in the Nordies, and Simone, originally from rural Queensland, herself,
Speaker 2: was massive along with it.
Speaker 3: I promise I will continue to love you in good
Speaker 3: times and in bad, and when I'm old and gray,
Speaker 3: you will still.
Speaker 1: Be the honest woman I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 2: She joined fresh from the Baywatch Hawaii cast, with a
Speaker 2: Hollywood sta fiance on her arm and a creative career
Speaker 2: very well established, and then everything changed. Simone and her
Speaker 2: beautiful son Madigan have been living in a caravan and
Speaker 2: then a shed in her family's back paddock for the
Speaker 2: best part of a decade. She's been making edend's meet
Speaker 2: with cares, subsidy on jobs like Jillaroo, and by starting
Speaker 2: her own small business which has ridden the roller coaster
Speaker 2: of COVID. Many of you will relate. I'm sure when
Speaker 2: she decided to step out of a dark time and
Speaker 2: back in front of a camera to go on a
Speaker 2: reality show earlier this year. It was very clearly with
Speaker 2: one goal in mind, the prize money. You'll hear how
Speaker 2: that went, and in our conversation you'll hear what it
Speaker 2: was like to be on one of the biggest shows
Speaker 2: in the world and to get fired for what you
Speaker 2: refuse to do in lingerie on a beach. You'll hear
Speaker 2: how she came back from crippling panic attacks during a
Speaker 2: high profile breakup to fill wedding scenes for our viewing pleasure.
Speaker 2: And most importantly, you'll hear how she's kept moving and
Speaker 2: dreaming and pushing on as she's been parenting her son
Speaker 2: alone on a very minimal income. Simone is famous, but
Speaker 2: she's not rich, and we often assume those things go together.
Speaker 2: Her story might not be yours, but there's plenty of
Speaker 2: familiar territory here for all of us mids. Welcome to
Speaker 2: Mid's very first conversation about money with Simone Jade McKinnon. Simone,
Speaker 2: everyone assumes that well known people are rich.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: You've got a face that's familiar from one of the
Speaker 2: most beloved Australian TV shows of all time. But you've
Speaker 2: been very open about the fact that you're not rich.
Speaker 2: Is it a strange disconnect that people are like, there's
Speaker 2: that famous lady, she must have it all sorted out.
Speaker 3: I yeah, you know, I think a lot of people,
Speaker 3: not just because I'm a single mummy that I think
Speaker 3: a lot of people think actors in general because they
Speaker 3: see the American actors, so they think Aussie actors are
Speaker 3: on the same pay. We get the same kind of
Speaker 3: residuals that other people maybe in America get, But yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, once you've done and dusted on a show here,
Speaker 3: there is some residuals that trickle feed. But if you
Speaker 3: haven't worked for as long as I haven't worked, then
Speaker 3: they're used up very quickly. And I guess it does
Speaker 3: shock people that we're not like America, that we can't
Speaker 3: live off one show as great as McLeod's was. We
Speaker 3: just don't get paid that much.
Speaker 2: You mean you weren't quite the Friends cast, is what
Speaker 2: you're saying.
Speaker 3: It was not even close to what those guys got
Speaker 3: for half an hour work. Yeah. No, we're just nothing
Speaker 3: like that. So I think people they assume that it's
Speaker 3: the same as America. But I think they'd be really
Speaker 3: shocked to know what we get paid compared to what
Speaker 3: they get paid. And that's why once you gigens it iss.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is why I mean, actors always very honestly
Speaker 2: talk about leaving from job to job, and that isn't
Speaker 2: as glamorous as it all appears. But I think people
Speaker 2: still kind of imagine that they've got it all sorted out.
Speaker 2: Tell me a bit about what your real life, as
Speaker 2: I always like to call like life away from work.
Speaker 2: Tell me a bit about what your real life looks
Speaker 2: like now.
Speaker 3: My real life now is definitely different to any other lives.
Speaker 3: I feel like I've had lots of lives. There was
Speaker 3: the dancer life, there was an actor life, there's a
Speaker 3: single mum life, and now there's this kind of small
Speaker 3: business life. And the small business life is hard to
Speaker 3: I'm in a caravan and a shed, and I've been
Speaker 3: in a caravan since twenty sixteen, and I was solidly
Speaker 3: in that caravan until end of twenty and nineteen when
Speaker 3: the shed was finally built and wicked kind of spread
Speaker 3: out a little bit.
Speaker 2: And is this on a property, And I know you
Speaker 2: live in northern new Well, Mid Northern New South Wales.
Speaker 2: Is your shadd and your caravan on a property?
Speaker 3: Yes, so it's on our old family land, which so
Speaker 3: I sold up. I did have. I had enough money
Speaker 3: to buy myself a nice little house and so when
Speaker 3: Madigan was born, I relocated from South Australia to Coffs
Speaker 3: Harbor to Beanie family. Being a single mum, I knew
Speaker 3: that I needed help and so it did. Like I
Speaker 3: had a nice house back then because of thanks to
Speaker 3: McLeod's for the years of work I put that into there.
Speaker 3: But I realized after six years in that house that
Speaker 3: I wasn't going to be able to stay. So that's
Speaker 3: why I sold up. And I wanted to do this
Speaker 3: bucket list dream which was the round Oz run the Lab.
Speaker 2: So you and your son together doing like around Australia
Speaker 2: sort of odyssey in your caravan.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, well I didn't. I wasn't in the acting world,
Speaker 3: you know. I thought I was nailing it as a
Speaker 3: single mum, loving it. Madigan was about to start school
Speaker 3: and I was like, this is the perfect time to
Speaker 3: do it. I'll sell up. I didn't need that big
Speaker 3: house that I had. I realized that wasn't it for me?
Speaker 3: I would rather the adventure than the things. It was
Speaker 3: great for that first six years, you know, a great
Speaker 3: home base. Madigan's first memories were in this amazing old
Speaker 3: Queenslander and you know it was lucky.
Speaker 2: You've always led towards adventure a bit and travel.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do. My parents traveled with me from I
Speaker 3: was two and a half. So I was born in
Speaker 3: Mount Is my sister was born, and then when she
Speaker 3: was six months, I was two and a half. They
Speaker 3: hit the road in a little tiny caravan. So my
Speaker 3: first memories I don't remember Mount iSER, but my first
Speaker 3: memories were in a van. It's two and a half years.
Speaker 3: So by the time I went into KINDI that's when
Speaker 3: we stopped. So I always say that it was those
Speaker 3: guys that put the sort of gypsy. They gave me
Speaker 3: the wanderlus. It just has been that way. And then
Speaker 3: I went into two different careers, you know, my dancing
Speaker 3: career that you're just on the move. I was out
Speaker 3: of home at sixteen.
Speaker 2: You were a ballet dancer, is that right?
Speaker 3: I was, so I auditioned and then I actually ran
Speaker 3: away kind of from the ballets to the Gold Coast.
Speaker 3: But I was still under eighteen at that point, so
Speaker 3: my mum and dad came and took me and brought
Speaker 3: me back home to Coughs. And you know, I wasn't eighteen,
Speaker 3: so I wasn't allowed to do anything until then anyway,
Speaker 3: so I had to sit around. But in that time,
Speaker 3: dance Encore gets a hold of me and says, guess
Speaker 3: what we would love to have you. We know you're
Speaker 3: not turning eighteen till March, but we can put you
Speaker 3: in rehearsals in February and the beginning of March, and
Speaker 3: you can be on a plane to Japan the day
Speaker 3: after your eighteenth birthday.
Speaker 2: The adventure begins, I know.
Speaker 3: But then I had to convince mom and dad. I
Speaker 3: was like, come on, this is it like? Because I
Speaker 3: was still that means I was going to be seventeen
Speaker 3: in Sydney while myself and I'd just run away, you know,
Speaker 3: up the coast.
Speaker 2: Did they let you do it? I assumed they did.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I somehow convinced them that it was what I wanted.
Speaker 3: And you know, I'm not going to ruin a job opportunity.
Speaker 3: It's different. I felt it would be different if I
Speaker 3: was going to be paid. You know, I'd be accountable,
Speaker 3: I'd be responsible, And I was, like, I have never worked.
Speaker 3: That company taught me determination and discipline way more than
Speaker 3: the ballet school did. Like I really learned to work
Speaker 3: my ass off in that company. Then I worked for
Speaker 3: them for two years, back and forth to Japan, and
Speaker 3: it was amazing.
Speaker 2: It sounds like an incredible adventure for a young woman.
Speaker 3: It was, and you know, it was not the dancing
Speaker 3: that I had in my head as a kid, but
Speaker 3: it was just it was a great adventure. And like
Speaker 3: I said, it just taught me so much. And then
Speaker 3: I came back and then I ended up doing Cats.
Speaker 3: I auditioned for Cats, and then I felt like more
Speaker 3: of a proper dancer, but I loved both just the same.
Speaker 2: Just thinking about when I mean, we're going to obviously
Speaker 2: get to all this later, but when you choose a
Speaker 2: creative career, very few of us who choose creative careers
Speaker 2: of all different kinds and necessarily driven by money. You know,
Speaker 2: if you were driven by money and the idea of stability,
Speaker 2: steady paychecks, regular increases, investment portfolios and stuff like, it's
Speaker 2: the wrong career to choose, Let's be honest, right, But
Speaker 2: one of the things when I talked to lots of
Speaker 2: midlife women now who sort of have realized later in
Speaker 2: life sometimes that, oh, like financial independence is so important.
Speaker 2: Did you ever think about that kind of stuff or
Speaker 2: were you always chasing the adventure and the experience and
Speaker 2: the creativity.
Speaker 3: Are always chasing the adventure. I definitely didn't think about that.
Speaker 3: I'm not like a material kind of girl. I don't
Speaker 3: think I have been. I think that's probably come from
Speaker 3: my parents. They're not like that. Well, we never had
Speaker 3: money to be like that, so you know, you kind
Speaker 3: of have forced to be that way. And no, I didn't.
Speaker 3: I just lived and I would work whatever other jobs
Speaker 3: I had to to keep afloat so I could keep
Speaker 3: that dream alive. So you know, I would wait. I
Speaker 3: mean that's the main thing when you're a dancer. You
Speaker 3: learn how to wait tables, make coffee, do all of that.
Speaker 3: But then when I did get like Cats, I felt
Speaker 3: Cats was the best thing. Now we got seven hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: A week, Yeah, you would have been like rich.
Speaker 3: So rich, and then you also got your per diem
Speaker 3: and you're staying in these hotels all around. Well, we
Speaker 3: did Asia, and then all of Australia's saying in like
Speaker 3: great accommodation. You're getting this pa diem. You can live
Speaker 3: off the Pa dieum if you're smart, which I did,
Speaker 3: and so I felt like, yeah, I felt like I
Speaker 3: was winning at that point in my seven hundred dollars
Speaker 3: a week. But then after Cats, I somehow sort of
Speaker 3: fell into acting, and then money kind of did become
Speaker 3: slightly more appealing because it blew like a whole week
Speaker 3: of really really hard work, eight shows a week, three
Speaker 3: hour shows. You know, that's a lot plus rehearsals, all
Speaker 3: for your seven hundred bucks, But then you go and
Speaker 3: do a TV commercial and you're there for two hours
Speaker 3: and you get six grand. It sort of acting opened
Speaker 3: my eyes and probably, if I'm being really honest and truthful,
Speaker 3: I would say money certainly swayed me into the acting world.
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously your life took lots of turns, but
Speaker 2: when you were sort of in a Hollywood adjacent period,
Speaker 2: did you have your head turned that you know how
Speaker 2: you were saying before, I've never been a materialistic person,
Speaker 2: and that's obvious that your values are not that right.
Speaker 2: It's obvious, and the choices you've made the way you
Speaker 2: live your life. Did you have your head turned when
Speaker 2: you were almost adjacent to that kind of big, glitzy world.
Speaker 2: Did it seem attractive then? Were you seduced by it
Speaker 2: at all?
Speaker 3: In America?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah. Look so my first proper acting job, you know,
Speaker 3: I did twenty three TV commercials from a dancer. I
Speaker 3: was taking some time off and I had an agent
Speaker 3: and I said to that agent, you know, I need
Speaker 3: a break, and she called like in a week in
Speaker 3: and said, hey, I've got an audition for you. And
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I need a rest, and she's like, no,
Speaker 3: it's an acting job. You just got to look longingly
Speaker 3: at a chip, like it's a KFC. You just got
Speaker 3: to look at a chip. And I was like, no,
Speaker 3: I'm not an actor. And she's like, you just pretended
Speaker 3: to be a cap for two years, Yes you are.
Speaker 3: And it pays two grand. And I was like two
Speaker 3: grand for how long? They're two grand for maybe half
Speaker 3: a day if you're there that long. Anyway, I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'll do that. So I did all these TV commercials
Speaker 3: and they paid really really well. I did them for
Speaker 3: probably three years. But then anyway, Baywatch came to town. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and it was my first I've done sort of a
Speaker 3: couple of little roles. I think i'd done water at anyway,
Speaker 3: a couple of little rolls, sort of one liners, not
Speaker 3: real scenes as such. Anyway, bay Watch came to town. I auditioned.
Speaker 3: That's a whole nother story. Bay Watching me was just bizarre.
Speaker 2: But what a thing, Like, what a thing to come
Speaker 2: to town. You know, when you're I don't know if
Speaker 2: you relate to this or not, but you know we're similar.
Speaker 2: Now you look back at life and you go that decision,
Speaker 2: that job, that relationship, that moment, like the things that
Speaker 2: change your path, you can see them very clearly from
Speaker 2: where we're sitting now, right, and that obviously was one
Speaker 2: of those moments.
Speaker 3: They were definitely changed the path that first audition. You know,
Speaker 3: I went in there. I was doing my TV commercials,
Speaker 3: but I was mainly working in the restaurants at that
Speaker 3: point in time, and you know, a bit of a
Speaker 3: night our partying. So I was lily white, short red hair.
Speaker 3: My agent's like, you're going to go in for this
Speaker 3: bay Watch audition. I was like, are you mental? Like no, no,
Speaker 3: And well I agreed, and then sure enough I get
Speaker 3: there everyone's you know, either blonde like the Kimberly.
Speaker 2: Yes, Kimberly Davis is that what she was called as well,
Speaker 2: the two of them. Yeah, and that was very much
Speaker 2: an esthetic at that time. There was like a Pamela
Speaker 2: Anderson obviously the bay Watch connection, but a very blonde, beautiful, curvy.
Speaker 3: Long haired, definitely beach babe, beach bod all of that.
Speaker 3: And then there was me. But for whatever reason, you
Speaker 3: know that Alexandra Paul who had been on the show prior,
Speaker 3: had the short hair. She was a bit boonboyish, you know,
Speaker 3: she was the different one she had left the show.
Speaker 3: So that's I guess how I got my start because
Speaker 3: they were looking for something just different. Yeah, no, so
Speaker 3: they was definitely put me on a different path. And
Speaker 3: when I got to Hawaii, they gave us a convertible.
Speaker 3: I was at the Hilton Hawaiian Village with one hundred
Speaker 3: and eighty k Waikiki beach views. You go into the
Speaker 3: best parties, you people are giving you clothes, so you
Speaker 3: do get a little bit carried away with that kind
Speaker 3: of life. Like it was so new, it was so different.
Speaker 3: So I went from my seven hundred dollars, as you
Speaker 3: know as a dancer, and the commercials that paid well
Speaker 3: to Now this was minimum, but it was three grand
Speaker 3: US in ninety nine and your perdem and you accommodation again,
Speaker 3: so that was huge. Our dollar was so weak at
Speaker 3: that point, so my three grand American was massive money
Speaker 3: to me. Massive.
Speaker 2: So there are times in your life where you're like,
Speaker 2: I'm nailing it. And was that one? Did you love it?
Speaker 2: Did you love all that, the parties, the convertible, the glamour.
Speaker 2: Was that very exciting or did you quickly kind of
Speaker 2: go I don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, both, I loved all of it. With Baywatch comes Baywatch,
Speaker 3: you know, and the stigma that's around a show like that.
Speaker 3: That acting wasn't good. I mean I learned so much
Speaker 3: so I would never ever slam it for that because
Speaker 3: it taught me all the things about camera angles and
Speaker 3: sizes and lighting and just learning lines. You know, I
Speaker 3: hadn't really done that before, so you know, it taught
Speaker 3: me a lot. But then there's also the other side
Speaker 3: of Baywatch, which was the weight.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was going to say, what was it like
Speaker 2: being in your cozi all the time? Did you feel
Speaker 2: pressure around other women?
Speaker 3: Yeah? One hundred percent, And because the girls out there
Speaker 3: were absolutely extraordinary. I went in there the smallest I've
Speaker 3: ever been. I think I was weighing in it. This
Speaker 3: is horrible, forty five kilo and I'm five seven when
Speaker 3: I first got there. Because I was so paranoid before
Speaker 3: I went that, I just trained like nothing else and
Speaker 3: all eight was protein and I stripped down and I
Speaker 3: thought I was looking okay. But I look back at
Speaker 3: those first few episodes of Baywatch and I'm like so thin,
Speaker 3: Like I couldn't see it in real life. But when
Speaker 3: I watched it back, it was also.
Speaker 2: Though that nineties esthetic was tiny, right like sometimes when
Speaker 2: you look. But I mean, and I was watching TV
Speaker 2: at that time and very much immersed in that. It definitely,
Speaker 2: as I say, seems to have been a time when
Speaker 2: we decided that women needed to be absolutely tiny in that.
Speaker 2: With that, so you're in Hawaii, You're getting paid money
Speaker 2: that to you is like wow, and living the life.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of shit that comes along with it,
Speaker 2: like not allowed to eat, but you're going to all
Speaker 2: the parties, you're meeting Hollywood stars and all the rest
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 3: Then what happens, Well, look, I realized that all of
Speaker 3: that stuff wasn't really important. And you know, I got
Speaker 3: fired in the middle of Baywatch, so sorry. I know
Speaker 3: we said we weren't going to go down the PA
Speaker 3: that's fine, but I didn't fired in the middle of
Speaker 3: it because I refused to do a photo shoot that
Speaker 3: I just didn't think it was. I'd already done so
Speaker 3: much publicity for them and I used up my quota
Speaker 3: and I just put my foot down.
Speaker 2: Anyway, What kind of photo shoot did they want you
Speaker 2: to do?
Speaker 3: Look, it was for one of the men's magazines.
Speaker 2: Which are massive then, like just for like I'm sure
Speaker 2: our listers will remember because they're grown ups, but those
Speaker 2: men's mags were huge at that time, right, huge.
Speaker 3: And especially for Baywatch, Like there was going to be
Speaker 3: a cover. I think it was Maxim And I was
Speaker 3: really excited at first because I was like, oh, that's cool.
Speaker 3: But then I had in my head, Okay, we'll do
Speaker 3: a black and white shoot. It'll be with shears in
Speaker 3: a hotel room. Maybe there'll be a cigarette a bit suspenders,
Speaker 3: Like I'll make it. This could be amazing.
Speaker 2: Sexy but tasteful.
Speaker 3: You're thinking super tasteful but super sexy. I was like,
Speaker 3: this would be nice and I'm like, no, no, it's lingerie,
Speaker 3: but you'll be on the beach with the girls, a
Speaker 3: bit of a girl on girl, you know. Action. I've
Speaker 3: got nothing against that at all, and I certainly had
Speaker 3: nothing against my co stars, but I was just done
Speaker 3: with all of that. Like, you know, we had to
Speaker 3: go to football games and basketball games in our swimsuits
Speaker 3: so they could be in the middle, you know, of
Speaker 3: the night, eight o'clock at night, and there we were
Speaker 3: in the middle going.
Speaker 2: So they kind of treated the bay Watch actresses like models, cheerleaders,
Speaker 2: what do you call them? Promo girls like girl Yeah,
Speaker 2: which there's nothing wrong with that as a way to
Speaker 2: make a living, but that's not what you thought you
Speaker 2: were doing.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I was just thinking, you know, I wanted to
Speaker 3: be taken what as serious as you could be taken
Speaker 3: on bait Watch and that sort of thing, especially when
Speaker 3: I'd done what my con tracked had already, you know,
Speaker 3: I'd done my quota. I didn't want to be doing
Speaker 3: any more of those, and so I just stood my
Speaker 3: ground and.
Speaker 2: It didn't go down.
Speaker 3: Well, it's just backfired. But I'm so stubborn. I'm so stubborn.
Speaker 3: They were, like they called me in and they said
Speaker 3: you have to do it, and I said, I'll be
Speaker 3: as sexy as you like, but please, can we do
Speaker 3: it like in a hotel. I don't want to do
Speaker 3: the girl on girl. I don't want to do that,
Speaker 3: and I don't want to do it on beach, and
Speaker 3: don't want to do it in like underwear on a beach,
Speaker 3: wet lingerie on a beach. So it's just yuck. And
Speaker 3: they were like, Noah, this is what you're doing and
Speaker 3: I said, well, I'm not so and they said, okay,
Speaker 3: we we're sending you home. You're fired.
Speaker 2: More of my conversation with Simone after this shortbreak, so again,
Speaker 2: we could be here all day. Because your life is
Speaker 2: very interesting. So you've got this level of success. You know,
Speaker 2: you're going in Hollywood movies, you had a famous boyfriend
Speaker 2: at this time. Then you do come back to Australia
Speaker 2: and you're on Mcloud's Daughters, which is one, as I
Speaker 2: said before, it's in the cannon of one of the
Speaker 2: most loved Ossie TV shows ever.
Speaker 3: Right for sure?
Speaker 2: Was it amazing to be on it at the time?
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I mean I definitely had moments in la and
Speaker 3: in America where I felt like especially that movie in Lithuania.
Speaker 3: I felt like, oh, I'm a proper actress now. But
Speaker 3: then I did some big grade movies too that made
Speaker 3: me go okay. But then when I came back to McLeod's,
Speaker 3: you know, i'd never seen the show because I'd been
Speaker 3: in America, and they flew me back for the second audition.
Speaker 3: So I did a self tape in America, and the
Speaker 3: second audition was back here in Australia, and they gave
Speaker 3: me six or seven episodes to watch in the hotel
Speaker 3: before I was to do this, and I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 3: these guys are amazing, like amazing, amazing. How am I
Speaker 3: going to do this? Like I'm not a trained actor.
Speaker 3: I looked at a chip once and then next thing,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm here.
Speaker 2: You know I looked at the chip once and now
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 3: That's how when like it just pure And so that
Speaker 3: made me really really nervous because the standard, you know,
Speaker 3: the actors who were the nier people were Briety and
Speaker 3: Aaron there, and you know, they all trained and amazing,
Speaker 3: and I did feel very uncertain about the second audition.
Speaker 3: But luckily they put me on a horse and I
Speaker 3: grew up with horses, right, I mean, I'd never hit
Speaker 3: a mark before on a horse. I was comfortable cantering
Speaker 3: in on a horse, and my character had to be
Speaker 3: really comfy. So I think my audition wasn't great. My
Speaker 3: first audition was, but the second one wasn't so great.
Speaker 3: But because I nailed it on the horse anyway, Yes,
Speaker 3: McCloud's was amazing for me to be now with these
Speaker 3: actors that were so talented, to be working with animals,
Speaker 3: to be back in Australia, like all of those things.
Speaker 3: The last couple of years in America mem X were
Speaker 3: like out in a caravan again. Caravan we moved out
Speaker 3: of LA. He wasn't an LA kind of person either,
Speaker 3: so we'd been living in an airstream out there in
Speaker 3: the middle of Valencia, and we've sort of been away
Speaker 3: from all the big material things anyway. But for me
Speaker 3: to be back and be on home to family could
Speaker 3: come and visit, doing this extraordinary show with these amazing
Speaker 3: people was just the biggest gift ever.
Speaker 2: So interesting that you know you are originally from country Australia,
Speaker 2: I guess, and then you're on the most iconic regional
Speaker 2: country show.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't want to push on this too much because
Speaker 2: I know it's personal. But I have seen a post
Speaker 2: of yours that you put up once of you were
Speaker 2: in a wedding dress on the side of McCloud's you're
Speaker 2: filming the wedding scene, but you actually were going through
Speaker 2: personal heartbreak at the time. I think you and your
Speaker 2: axe had just broken up. Ah.
Speaker 3: Yes, well I didn't break up. He left and he
Speaker 3: left very very suddenly. And you know, I'd been an
Speaker 3: anxious person sometimes, you know, nerves can totally get the
Speaker 3: best of me when it comes to auditions. If it's
Speaker 3: something really important, you know, the nerves can just completely derail,
Speaker 3: like I can't think, I can't do anything, and that's normal.
Speaker 3: But when he left, it catapulted me into a world
Speaker 3: of anxiety that I didn't know existed, and it opened
Speaker 3: the door to panic attacks. So he left the end
Speaker 3: of November two thousand and six.
Speaker 2: And you were like, you were a long distance at
Speaker 2: this point, so correct, And you're contracted to be in
Speaker 2: a tiny town in South Australia dealing with this from afar,
Speaker 2: which must have been very like discombobulating on a million levels.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, he flew into break up with me, I guess.
Speaker 3: So he did do it face to face, but it
Speaker 3: came out of the blue because I was leaving Mcloud's.
Speaker 3: I'd given my notice we were about to be married.
Speaker 3: You know, we were talking baby names, my world. I
Speaker 3: thought I knew what my world was. And here's my
Speaker 3: character playing she's going to be a bride. So all
Speaker 3: this good stuff's happening for my character, it's happening for
Speaker 3: me in my mind as well. You know, I'll be
Speaker 3: written out of the show. This would have been an
Speaker 3: amazing four years, but I'm going off to live my life.
Speaker 3: He turns up, leaves with no explanation, and I have
Speaker 3: to go. The very first thing I do on the Monday.
Speaker 3: Can you believe he left on the Friday? The very
Speaker 3: first thing I had to do that Monday was try
Speaker 3: on Stevie's wedding dress, the very first thing. I don't
Speaker 3: really remember it from the moment he left. I think
Speaker 3: I just drank myself into a bit of a stupor
Speaker 3: the entire weekend. Don't think I ate much anyway. They
Speaker 3: take me and I'm a mess. I can't even stand.
Speaker 3: I'm just crying. I'm sobbing, and they're just going to
Speaker 3: hold me up trying to fit this wedding dress. So
Speaker 3: I've never even tried my real wedding dress on. I
Speaker 3: hadn't bought one.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: It was going to be a beach wedding, so it
Speaker 3: wasn't going to.
Speaker 2: Be any but still it was all there in your mind.
Speaker 2: What was going to happen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd never tried any wedding dress on. I'd never
Speaker 3: played a bride, so this was the first time ever.
Speaker 3: He just left and here I am trying to put
Speaker 3: this dress on. Anyway, I didn't from that moment though.
Speaker 3: They did hold me up and I had to go
Speaker 3: to set. Only had one scene to do that first
Speaker 3: day on that Monday, and I just stopped. I shut
Speaker 3: it off, and I didn't cry again at work. They
Speaker 3: flew my family in immediately, which was amazing. So I
Speaker 3: had my little niece, who was maybe two or three
Speaker 3: three at the time, at home with me, and my
Speaker 3: sister was there, you know. So I didn't cry at work,
Speaker 3: I didn't cry at home. But a couple of weeks
Speaker 3: went by with this somehow held within. I'm playing the
Speaker 3: giddy bride, so I'm going the opposite while I'm at work.
Speaker 3: But then one day I'd had a dream, walked into
Speaker 3: the makeup bus and one of my co stars just said, oh,
Speaker 3: you look better, and I was like, yeah, I feel good.
Speaker 3: I had a dream. I told him where to go,
Speaker 3: feeling really confident, and the second I did it, my
Speaker 3: world just like collapsed but imploded at the same time.
Speaker 3: I didn't know what was happening. I couldn't move. All
Speaker 3: I could hear was people around me saying you're right
Speaker 3: or you're right, But I was just I was frozen.
Speaker 3: It's completely and utterly frozen, but I believe I was
Speaker 3: breathing really, really heavily. Anyway, they quickly rushed got the
Speaker 3: medic to come in, and that was the first panic
Speaker 3: attack that I'd ever had, and it came from just
Speaker 3: that little tiny bit of joy that I had from,
Speaker 3: you know, telling him off in my dream. In my
Speaker 3: subconscious it was crazy. And so that photo Stevie, my
Speaker 3: character was shooting the wedding. So everything I did from friggin'
Speaker 3: moment that he left was all Stevie's happiness and joy.
Speaker 3: So of course the wedding itself was going to be
Speaker 3: a hurdle. Everybody knew it. You know, these panic attacks
Speaker 3: had started, so knew that they would come, and they'd
Speaker 3: come randomly, you never knew, but we assumed that the
Speaker 3: bowls were probably going to be the worst. But I
Speaker 3: somehow got through the vows. Don't know it, got it.
Speaker 3: But then and then there was the wedding, the first dance,
Speaker 3: and it's just massive. It was as nearly as big
Speaker 3: as the first one. I think it was a huge,
Speaker 3: huge panic attack. And then that was the aftermath. So
Speaker 3: I was sitting in the dining room in the big
Speaker 3: old house and my makeup artist Jodie was just trying
Speaker 3: to put me back together, and of course I'd had
Speaker 3: them for a bit. Now everyone was not so panicked anymore.
Speaker 3: We knew that they came and they were horrible, but
Speaker 3: then they did go, and the release, like I felt
Speaker 3: quite good after them, because all of this energy is
Speaker 3: somehow it's gone for a second and you go into
Speaker 3: this really horrible, scary place, but then there's this there's
Speaker 3: such relief after it's passed.
Speaker 2: People who haven't experienced panic attacks are always very shocked
Speaker 2: at how physical they are. You know, people frequently think
Speaker 2: they're having a heart attack, that there's something very serious happening,
Speaker 2: and seeing somebody out of context that happening to them
Speaker 2: is very scary. When we were just talking before about
Speaker 2: the moment you look back on and you go, well,
Speaker 2: that was a turn, and that was a turn. So
Speaker 2: that sort of culmination of Mcloud's and sort of clashing
Speaker 2: into this big breakup and also clashing into a mental
Speaker 2: health crisis, I imagine that is kind of the start
Speaker 2: of another chapter, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, definitely, it was. Well, it was the big
Speaker 3: end of a life that I thought I was going
Speaker 3: to have and then it was. It opened up a
Speaker 3: different kind of world, this anxiety world that I then
Speaker 3: had to contend with. I mean, it did sort of
Speaker 3: pass down there. They became less frequent, especially after the
Speaker 3: wedding was kind of done and dusted. But other things
Speaker 3: can trigger them these days, and so more recently, you know,
Speaker 3: financial stress is kind of the thing.
Speaker 2: It's interesting because a lot of the women who listen
Speaker 2: to this show, you know, their stories won't involve Hollywood
Speaker 2: stars and you know, being on the beach in their
Speaker 2: knickers and shooting weddings, but the themes are similar, right,
Speaker 2: like the things that can derail your life. There's confidence,
Speaker 2: there's mental health, there's romantic breakdowns, there's all these things.
Speaker 2: It is actually very relatable because then you're there going okay,
Speaker 2: well now what and then you become a single mom.
Speaker 4: Now yeah, look, so it all happens for a reason,
Speaker 4: right mindsight, like, I'm so glad that he left, because
Speaker 4: I wouldn't have Mads if you know, I had stayed
Speaker 4: in that relationship, if I had.
Speaker 3: Gone to America, like, oh god, I just wouldn't want
Speaker 3: to be in America anyway.
Speaker 2: Well, no, not at the moment for sure. So your
Speaker 2: life as single mom, as Mads as mom, how has
Speaker 2: that And obviously did you consciously leave acting behind or
Speaker 2: did it leave you a little bit or was that
Speaker 2: a very conscious decision that like, okay, it's time to
Speaker 2: change how things are going.
Speaker 3: Yeah, look, I definitely decided to put my hand down.
Speaker 3: So Madigan was born on my thirty seventh birthday, and
Speaker 3: I went down and I think he was only three
Speaker 3: months old. I did a little stint on city homicide,
Speaker 3: which was fine. It was only a few days though,
Speaker 3: it was just a little guesty. That was okay. But
Speaker 3: then when he was around two, I went and did
Speaker 3: neighbors and I did neighbors for about three months and
Speaker 3: the set days. Like when you're working on a show,
Speaker 3: any show, sometimes you can be there twelve fourteen hours
Speaker 3: a day. And that's how it was when I was
Speaker 3: on Neighbors. You know, you work for a really they
Speaker 3: crushed their scenes. You did all your scenes kind of
Speaker 3: in one day, and then they'd be rehearsals and whatnot.
Speaker 3: So even though I was there for three months, some weeks,
Speaker 3: I was only maybe working the one day, but in
Speaker 3: that day, I was away for the entire day. I'd
Speaker 3: leave in the dark, I'd be home in the dark,
Speaker 3: and Madigan just didn't understand. And I just after that gig,
Speaker 3: I just thought, you know, I'm the age that I am.
Speaker 3: I don't have a partner, the chances of me having
Speaker 3: another baby are very very slim. I don't want to
Speaker 3: miss a moment. It was then that I sort of
Speaker 3: said to my agents that I don't really think this
Speaker 3: is for me at the moment. I really just want
Speaker 3: to enjoy this with my little boy. I was in
Speaker 3: Cough's Tarbots, so you know, I'm removed from the acting
Speaker 3: world and all of that anyway, So I just said, no,
Speaker 3: let's just leave it for now.
Speaker 2: After this short break, I'm going to be back with
Speaker 2: Simone Jade McKinnon to hear about how things came full
Speaker 2: circle for Simone, but not quite in the way she'd planned.
Speaker 2: And this brings us back to the little house that
Speaker 2: you bought, that you told us about. So after McCloud's
Speaker 2: you bought a house back in Coff. She moved back
Speaker 2: to be near your family. And then after a few
Speaker 2: years there and I imagine circumstances changed. We move back
Speaker 2: to the paddock.
Speaker 3: We move, yeah, we get the caravan. We set off
Speaker 3: on our lap around Australia. But my dad, who has
Speaker 3: been battling cancer since two thousand and seven, not battling
Speaker 3: the whole time, sorry, living with cancer. Yeah, he got
Speaker 3: really sick. So I'd only been on the road for
Speaker 3: six months. Here we are in the caravan, we're in
Speaker 3: cans and he wants me to come back, and I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 3: it's a long drive, but I'd rather come back now,
Speaker 3: you know, than if we're over in wa. You know,
Speaker 3: it's a lot bigger hall to get home. So I
Speaker 3: was like, this is perfect. We'll come home for Christmas anyway.
Speaker 3: Set up in the paddock, the paddock that I used
Speaker 3: to ride my horses in out of Bonvog was five acres.
Speaker 3: It's nothing big, it's nothing grand. And so there I
Speaker 3: was in the caravan in the paddock and he asked
Speaker 3: me to subdivide the land for him. He's like, I'd
Speaker 3: rather subdivide it now. The councilor had just given approval.
Speaker 3: I'd rather subdivide it now and have you kids get
Speaker 3: a little bit of your inheritance now. That'll help you
Speaker 3: all out. And so I was like, okay, sure, how
Speaker 3: long would this possibly take a few months? I thought?
Speaker 3: Two years later, still in the paddock, full time in
Speaker 3: the caravan, not moving and it's.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, what are you living on at this point, Like,
Speaker 2: what's work like for you at this time? Work? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Were you working?
Speaker 3: No? So I came back. I was his care for
Speaker 3: a while, yes, because he was so sick. So I
Speaker 3: did get some money from that. You know, I'd sold
Speaker 3: the house, so I had money in the bank, so
Speaker 3: I wasn't allowed I sent a link or anything like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah because you had savings.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because I had my savings. So that was
Speaker 3: a choice I decided. I knew that I was going
Speaker 3: to spend money to do this lap, but it was
Speaker 3: something I was happy to do because it was the
Speaker 3: bucket list dream that I wanted.
Speaker 2: Was the six months that you did get to do?
Speaker 2: Was it the dream?
Speaker 3: It was part of the dream Queensland.
Speaker 2: So but was it wonderful being on the road like that?
Speaker 3: To you a math Oh my god, it was the best.
Speaker 3: It was the best. It was hard because I was
Speaker 3: homeschooling him, like kindergarten. You think that KINDI would be
Speaker 3: the easiest, but it's not. Kindergarten is the base of
Speaker 3: all their schooling and he had a speech delay, so
Speaker 3: it was really hard. That was the worst part of it.
Speaker 3: Like I loved doing it all myself. I took him
Speaker 3: to the Tip Wow Tip of New South I was.
Speaker 3: I dragged a twenty four foot caravan by myself that
Speaker 3: whole way.
Speaker 2: Croc country, red dirt.
Speaker 3: Dirt like we loved it. Madigan loved it. The dogs
Speaker 3: loved it. We didn't love the crocodiles because that made
Speaker 3: it hard. But just being on the road and you know,
Speaker 3: the physical work, I didn't mind at all. I loved driving,
Speaker 3: so that wasn't a problem. And yeah, we were just
Speaker 3: we were absolutely living our best life while we were
Speaker 3: on the road. I just think I was born to
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know, there's plenty of time. We'll get
Speaker 2: to that. So then you come home, you're looking after
Speaker 2: your dad ad Mads and living on the proper, and
Speaker 2: then what happened.
Speaker 3: So then Poppy pulls the rug out from under my
Speaker 3: feet a little bit and he goes, well, so I'm
Speaker 3: about to sell the land for him and me and
Speaker 3: Mad's he's feeling better, and I'm like, perfect, we're going again.
Speaker 3: And then Poppy goes, actually, I'm not going to sell
Speaker 3: it to anyone. You're going to have to take it.
Speaker 3: I don't want it, no offense, but I don't really
Speaker 3: want to live next door to my dad. I mean,
Speaker 3: I got out of Coff's Harbor when I was sixteen
Speaker 3: for a reason. I didn't want to be here. It
Speaker 3: was good while Madigan was little, but you know, I
Speaker 3: wanted out anyway. He's a stubborn I get the stubbornness
Speaker 3: from him. From him or and once he put his
Speaker 3: foot down, I truly believed him that he wasn't going
Speaker 3: to he wasn't going to sell it to anybody else.
Speaker 3: But may so I'll like, okay, well I've got the
Speaker 3: cash I've got a bit of cash from the house. Yeap,
Speaker 3: from the house, I'll pay up my brother and sister
Speaker 3: and I'll use the land. I'll build a shed on
Speaker 3: it and I'll use it as my base. That sounds
Speaker 3: like a great plan.
Speaker 2: So the land you're living on now is yours.
Speaker 3: It is actually mine. Yes, it's two and a half
Speaker 3: acres and it is the paddic that we used to
Speaker 3: write our in.
Speaker 2: That's so interesting because I mean, I know you were
Speaker 2: saying that isn't what you wanted, but what a story
Speaker 2: to come back there to raise your boy after all
Speaker 2: these after Hawaii and Gaula and Sydney and Japan. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's wild.
Speaker 3: I know the place that I couldn't wait to get
Speaker 3: out of though I'm stuck in now.
Speaker 2: Is there something beautiful about it or not? Or do
Speaker 2: you have to really reach for the something beautiful about it?
Speaker 3: You have to reach for the same I think you
Speaker 3: know the reason of all the stress and the mental
Speaker 3: issues was because I was forced into this situation. I
Speaker 3: would have decided it for myself, that's one thing, and
Speaker 3: then you live with your decision. But I kind of
Speaker 3: felt like I was forced into it, and that's the
Speaker 3: thing that I've battled with because it's not a bad
Speaker 3: thing to be forced into. But it has changed change
Speaker 3: my life because the I haven't been able to continue
Speaker 3: the lap and live out my dream. I don't have
Speaker 3: the cash to do it anymore either.
Speaker 2: Because you've spent it on the land.
Speaker 3: Well, spend it on the land and then anything else
Speaker 3: has now gone into this small business.
Speaker 2: So so you've started a small business. It's clothing, and
Speaker 2: I have to say it's very you. I was looking
Speaker 2: at the website earlier on is that the big dream?
Speaker 2: Like is that where you see yourself going no, you're
Speaker 2: shaking your head another.
Speaker 3: I honestly did it.
Speaker 2: So it's called Wandering Ossie. By the way, everybody Wandering
Speaker 2: Ossy thank you.
Speaker 3: For the shout out. Yes, Wandering Ozzy. Well, I went
Speaker 3: under the name Wandering Ossy when I first sold up
Speaker 3: because I was like, oh, this is cool. Maybe I can,
Speaker 3: you know, do a little YouTube channel. I did start one,
Speaker 3: and you know, I'll document my travels. Maybe there's a
Speaker 3: way I can make some money as I go. Kind
Speaker 3: of That's what I thought back in twenty sixteen, and
Speaker 3: then twenty nineteen I did take off again and I
Speaker 3: was working as a jill aru.
Speaker 2: Yeh, which this blows my mind because I'm just imagining
Speaker 2: people going our Jillarue is Stevie from McCloud's daughter.
Speaker 3: And it all happened by chance, Like my whole life
Speaker 3: is just this chance after chance that I've just been
Speaker 3: really lucky and really fortunate that they've come up. And
Speaker 3: then also I've had the balls to just go yeah,
Speaker 3: why not. And this family that lived up at Rockhampton.
Speaker 3: I did a charity event in Tamworth with riding these
Speaker 3: cutting horses, which is amazing. And then they said to me,
Speaker 3: why don't you come up. This is twenty nineteen. Why
Speaker 3: don't you come up and work at our station and
Speaker 3: we'll teach you to do what you used to pretend
Speaker 3: to do on Mcloud's daughters. We'll teach you for real.
Speaker 3: And I was like sure. Like I didn't get paid,
Speaker 3: so it was just food and accommodation. We're all covered,
Speaker 3: so it was just for the experience, and I was
Speaker 3: there for only three months. Unfortunately, the drought hit and
Speaker 3: it was a really bad time for the family, so
Speaker 3: I couldn't stay as long as I had planned to stay.
Speaker 3: But from there I went up in far North Queensland,
Speaker 3: and I kind of went, oh, there's enough interest in
Speaker 3: me doing this that I think I could do both
Speaker 3: the lap and the jillarooing at the same time document
Speaker 3: it as well. I just want a property, hop my
Speaker 3: way around and get paid like a jillarou is really
Speaker 3: low wage, especially starting from the bottom. I'm sure the
Speaker 3: good station hands in all of those they'd probably get
Speaker 3: great money, but when you're the shit kicker as I was,
Speaker 3: it's really basic money. But I didn't care. I was like,
Speaker 3: that could be an amazing thing for me. But then
Speaker 3: the pandemic hit twenty nineteen, everything was great. I had
Speaker 3: some station work lined up for early twenty twenty pandemic
Speaker 3: You're not going north and I had a station in
Speaker 3: Tazzi our second wave hit Victoria not going that way,
Speaker 3: and then I was like, oh, what am I going
Speaker 3: to do? I need to do something. I'm stuck here.
Speaker 3: I've got the shed in the caravan, but what am
Speaker 3: I going to do? And then with the wandering title,
Speaker 3: I just thought, you know, I've always sown. I've made
Speaker 3: I made Logi dresses when I was back doing the Logis.
Speaker 3: I've always been creative in that way, and so I thought, well,
Speaker 3: maybe I can just do something along those lines while
Speaker 3: I'm stuck here. And I knew that there'd be McLeod's
Speaker 3: fans out there. I did. My logo was a cowgirl,
Speaker 3: kind of a gypsy cowgirl. I had my dreadlocks, so
Speaker 3: it was like a cow girl and a gypsy collide.
Speaker 3: And I knew that they would get a kick out
Speaker 3: of that, and they did. You know. The hoodies and
Speaker 3: T shirts went quite quickly, and then the pandemic just
Speaker 3: kept going. So I was like, Okay, well I'll do
Speaker 3: something else, and here we are, like what four years later,
Speaker 3: and I'm still going with it.
Speaker 2: Can I ask you about the pressure of being a
Speaker 2: single mom? And I know that actually looking at Wondering Hossie,
Speaker 2: you actually give a little bit of money from all
Speaker 2: your sales to a single mom's organization, right, so you're
Speaker 2: really passionate about supporting single moms. Yeah, Can you explain
Speaker 2: a little bit about the pressure of how it feels
Speaker 2: to be the sort of single point of failure for
Speaker 2: your family? And when I say single point of failure,
Speaker 2: that sounds wrong. I'm not suggesting in any way your failure,
Speaker 2: but the pressure of knowing if I don't do it,
Speaker 2: it's not going to happen. If I don't put food
Speaker 2: on the table, it's not going to be there, if
Speaker 2: I don't secure things, you know, for maths like that
Speaker 2: is a pressure that is a lot to live with, right, Yes.
Speaker 3: It certainly is. Like any single parent, male or female,
Speaker 3: you know, it's it's a really it's a tough gig.
Speaker 3: But I always say that, you know, with all the
Speaker 3: stress and the money and all of that, you also
Speaker 3: get double the love, double the hugs, double the everything.
Speaker 3: So for me, it's been a really wonderful ride. As
Speaker 3: stressful as it has been, I know I'm fortunate though too,
Speaker 3: Like I do have a block of land here, I've
Speaker 3: got a caravan and I've got a shed, and that's
Speaker 3: a lot more than many many other single mums or
Speaker 3: dads have, Especially now now it's horrible.
Speaker 2: What have you learned about how to? I mean, maybe
Speaker 2: you didn't have to learn because, as you said at
Speaker 2: the beginning, you're not a very materialistic person, but the
Speaker 2: logistics of living between a sad and a caravan, Like,
Speaker 2: what have you learned? It's easy to go without? Like,
Speaker 2: what's your sort of philosophy? On what you actually need,
Speaker 2: you guys, to be the happy family unit that you
Speaker 2: clearly are very tight.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, look we don't have there's no heating or
Speaker 3: cooling in this shed. This is a big black shed too.
Speaker 3: So summertime, this thing is hot. Wintertime it's freezing. It's
Speaker 3: cement flows, so you know, we just go without. You
Speaker 3: put the fans on when it's hot, and then wintertime
Speaker 3: we rug up like I've always got I mean, my
Speaker 3: hair's growing out at the moment too, so that's another
Speaker 3: reason for the bandanna, but always got a beanie on
Speaker 3: and just you just got to lay out, so we
Speaker 3: go without things like that. You know that money can
Speaker 3: go towards an adventure of some sort Madigan, you know,
Speaker 3: I want him to grow up thinking that kind of thing.
Speaker 3: And he like he laughs at the fact that he's
Speaker 3: a kmart kid. That's what you know, it's I think
Speaker 3: it's cute, like of course, like he's he understands already.
Speaker 3: I mean, he's got a PlayStation, so you know, there
Speaker 3: are some things that I definitely want him to, you know,
Speaker 3: not feel like he's getting left behind. But he also
Speaker 3: knows that you don't need all that. He loves the shed.
Speaker 3: He thinks the shed's great.
Speaker 2: It actually looks really good from what I can see.
Speaker 3: I'm showing you a good part.
Speaker 2: I've got a corrugated roof on my house too, so
Speaker 2: I know about the noise, but you're doing very well
Speaker 2: with it. Let's just get to the Summit, because I
Speaker 2: heard when you were going on that show. So anyone
Speaker 2: who hasn't watched The Summit, right, there are some shows
Speaker 2: that I love to watch with my kids. Family TV
Speaker 2: is a thing, right. I used to turn my nose
Speaker 2: up at those kind of shows, but now there's nothing
Speaker 2: I love more than being on the couch and we
Speaker 2: watch Survivor and we watch both seasons at the Summit,
Speaker 2: and you were on it.
Speaker 3: The physical pain has been the lentless from listers to
Speaker 3: sore shoulder.
Speaker 5: And as much as my heart is telling me to
Speaker 5: keep going, where I am really struggling to catch my breath,
Speaker 5: like I don't know if there's a panic attack that
Speaker 5: I'm feeling coming on.
Speaker 2: I can see your hands shaking. I loved you from
Speaker 2: the minute you came on because obviously I know who
Speaker 2: you are. Of course I do. I'm very familiar with
Speaker 2: mcclouds and all the culture of the tea. I used
Speaker 2: to work at TV week at one time, and you
Speaker 2: were a big deal there, I can tell you. So
Speaker 2: obviously I knew you were, but there was something very
Speaker 2: relatable to me about you on that show. You were
Speaker 2: very honest about your circumstances. You were very clear about
Speaker 2: the fact, I'm here to make some money for my family.
Speaker 2: My dream is to build a shared house on your property.
Speaker 2: You seemed overwhelmed at the beginning. You seemed insecure at
Speaker 2: the beginning. You were like, what am I doing here?
Speaker 2: Who are all these big personalities? I don't even know?
Speaker 2: And yet you were spoiler friends, one of the last three,
Speaker 2: and you walked away with some money, not as much as,
Speaker 2: in my opinion, you should have walked away with. But
Speaker 2: you get paid to go on it.
Speaker 3: Right, No, as a show like that, some contestants might
Speaker 3: get paid, but on a reality show like that, you
Speaker 3: don't get paid.
Speaker 2: So the prize money is the reward and that's it, right, Okay,
Speaker 2: and obviously expensive.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but definitely people can get paid for in
Speaker 3: general terms. No, a show like that, you go on there,
Speaker 3: I mean it's two weeks, fifteen days of your life,
Speaker 3: so you know it's a good gamble.
Speaker 2: Was that experience terrifying?
Speaker 3: Well, look, they asked me, and then I said, yes, Okay,
Speaker 3: let's do it. But then I went back and rewatched
Speaker 3: season one again as an actual contestant, and I was like,
Speaker 3: oh shit, that actually looks a lot harder. And it
Speaker 3: was really close to the shooting date, and so there
Speaker 3: was no time. I'd lost on my hair earlier that year,
Speaker 3: so I hadn't been to the gym, I was pretty unfit,
Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, it all kind of came
Speaker 3: to me in a real sense of what I was
Speaker 3: going to have to do. But I was still thinking
Speaker 3: at that point only about the physical side of it,
Speaker 3: and potentially the emotional side of it, being away from Madigan,
Speaker 3: because I had never been away from him ever. We've
Speaker 3: never not spoken, and I knew that once you get
Speaker 3: on the mountain there was no communication whatsoever. And I
Speaker 3: knew that that was going to play with my brain
Speaker 3: a lot of my emotions. What I didn't realize was
Speaker 3: because I had been in this really dark place and
Speaker 3: I'd lost all my hair and i'd been in hiding
Speaker 3: that you know you're there and the next thing you're
Speaker 3: with all these people that you don't know from a
Speaker 3: bar of soap. They're all very big personalities. And then
Speaker 3: you've got cameras, although you know, the cameras do try
Speaker 3: and keep away a little bit. So you're kind of
Speaker 3: in this little bubble on the mountain with these random
Speaker 3: people and they've got their big personalities, and everyone's trying
Speaker 3: to get their five minutes of fame and their views across,
Speaker 3: and they want to be the alpha and everything. And
Speaker 3: I wasn't prepared for that kind of environment. I wasn't
Speaker 3: prepared for the cameras. Again, I didn't think about it.
Speaker 3: I didn't think it through, and I wasn't prepared for
Speaker 3: all the big personalities that seem to be very very
Speaker 3: comfortable in front of I should have been the one
Speaker 3: comfortable in front of the king.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Interesting, I've been okay, but I wasn't okay, and I
Speaker 3: just well, I didn't speak like I'm glad that you
Speaker 3: could sort of see what was happening to me.
Speaker 2: You walk away with one hundred thousand, it's.
Speaker 3: All right, thousand, yeah, which is better than nothing, So
Speaker 3: better than nothing?
Speaker 2: What have you done with the money, And tell me
Speaker 2: how you're feeling now post that post coming out of
Speaker 2: this place you've been in about what's next and what
Speaker 2: are the plans?
Speaker 3: Right, Well, certainly the one hundred thousand is enough to
Speaker 3: take the pressure off a little bit. It's not enough
Speaker 3: to build. So this shed here that we spend a
Speaker 3: lot of time in isn't a livable space.
Speaker 2: It's not a proper house.
Speaker 3: It's not a proper house, and it's not a legal house.
Speaker 3: I'm not allowed to live in it. It's legal shed,
Speaker 3: and I can work out of it the businesses here,
Speaker 3: everything's fine, but it can never and can never be
Speaker 3: sold as a residence. So the only option I'd have
Speaker 3: to build another. And I love the shed. I love
Speaker 3: what I did here, so I know that I could
Speaker 3: build another one and do it quite cheaply. In my head,
Speaker 3: I thought I could do it for about two hundred grand.
Speaker 3: There would be a lot of work. That wouldn't be
Speaker 3: a good kitchen, that wouldn't be good bathrooms, but you
Speaker 3: know I could get the bones up. I can't do
Speaker 3: that with one hundred thousand. There's just no way. So
Speaker 3: unfortunately it's a bit boring. I've got dead of course, Yeah,
Speaker 3: the money will go that way. And then right now,
Speaker 3: I'm feeling quite confident. I feel like I'm going to
Speaker 3: be able to do a bit of the lap. I know,
Speaker 3: I can't leave my dad for very long.
Speaker 2: So your dad is still with us, and he's still unwell.
Speaker 3: He's still just living with cancer. Yeah, that he's on
Speaker 3: his own. So I'm still I'm not a paid care anymore,
Speaker 3: but I certainly am his person from you know, technology,
Speaker 3: like he doesn't have a mobile file a computer. You know,
Speaker 3: I've got to help him with his smart TV, and.
Speaker 2: So you are caring for him, not in a medical
Speaker 2: but yes, yeah.
Speaker 3: And I cook for him, you know, probably three or
Speaker 3: four nights a week, but I don't get paid for it.
Speaker 3: So of course I know that we could get something
Speaker 3: in place there. And so the plan is now, if
Speaker 3: I can pay these debts off, I don't have that
Speaker 3: to build the other shed house shouts, so that just
Speaker 3: has to sit on the back burner now for god
Speaker 3: knows how long. But what I could do is put
Speaker 3: a bit more money into the business. This is the
Speaker 3: plan while that stock is being made, because it takes
Speaker 3: a while, Mad's and I could hit the road for
Speaker 3: a little bit, like it's not that's probably not the
Speaker 3: best financial idea I've had, But life is it's too short.
Speaker 3: Like I've got four years left with Madigan in the house.
Speaker 3: So if I don't do that now while I've got
Speaker 3: a bit of cash to do it, I won't get
Speaker 3: to do it if we just sit here and wait
Speaker 3: until he's eighteen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is the thing is that you It sounds
Speaker 2: to me. I don't want to put words in your mouth,
Speaker 2: but your values are you want to spend time with
Speaker 2: your kid, you want to make memories and have adventures
Speaker 2: and go to a place you want to go.
Speaker 3: Well, we can't.
Speaker 2: Those things are not free, because nothing is. But their
Speaker 2: choices you can make that are more meaningful perhaps than
Speaker 2: some others.
Speaker 3: Well that's what I believe. I believe if we don't
Speaker 3: do it now, who knows what's around the corner, you know.
Speaker 3: And I want him just to have the best start
Speaker 3: in life. And I just don't believe sitting here going
Speaker 3: to a school. I would rather have the adventure and
Speaker 3: set him on a path that could just open up
Speaker 3: all the doors for him. People who sometimes just get
Speaker 3: stuck in one place, you know, you think that's your life,
Speaker 3: That's how it's got to be. By doing this with
Speaker 3: him now and showing him and telling him like the
Speaker 3: way I've lived my life, because he says, oh, you
Speaker 3: know what if I just finished school and then what
Speaker 3: am I going to do after that? Am I just
Speaker 3: going to go to the same job, do the same
Speaker 3: thing day after day? And I'm like, no, look at
Speaker 3: my life, look at what I've done. You can spin
Speaker 3: and pivot at any point if you really want to,
Speaker 3: if you're not financially driven.
Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, for sure, we've probably been talking too long.
Speaker 2: I'm sure my producer would say so. But I have
Speaker 2: two things I really want to ask you before we
Speaker 2: wrap up. The first is about you said before you know,
Speaker 2: it's a fact actually that the fastest group of people
Speaker 2: becoming homeless of women in their midlife, right, And I
Speaker 2: know that to a certain extent, the way that you're
Speaker 2: living is a choice, but it's also an affordable way
Speaker 2: for you to be able to live your life how
Speaker 2: you want to live it, through your work with single
Speaker 2: parents community and so to. Have you heard about a
Speaker 2: lot of people who are really struggling in that circumstance.
Speaker 3: Oh, look, they're always struggling, but they're even more so
Speaker 3: now because of the housing crisis. I mean, it's so hard.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know how else to help other
Speaker 3: than to get word out, Like my business doesn't do
Speaker 3: enough to be able to give much. I've had some
Speaker 3: amazing customers though, who have donated to the Single Mums
Speaker 3: and their Children charity that I work with, and I
Speaker 3: know every little bit helps, but it's just really hard.
Speaker 3: I don't know what we need to do as a community,
Speaker 3: but we need to do something because you can't have
Speaker 3: people out on the streetlight that. You can't have single
Speaker 3: mums out on the street missing.
Speaker 2: Meals, kids living in cars.
Speaker 3: Kids living in cars. You know. I after the first
Speaker 3: year of starting Wandering, I was either first year was okay,
Speaker 3: but then the second year was not. And you know,
Speaker 3: there was times in that year. I mean, I have
Speaker 3: to go without heat and air con. That's just what
Speaker 3: I have to do to get by. But there was
Speaker 3: a time that I was like, oh my god, medication
Speaker 3: am I going to be able to afford that? I
Speaker 3: was faced with it too, and I called to Rees,
Speaker 3: who's the head of that charity, and I was like, I, look,
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be able to do much because
Speaker 3: I'm actually now one of the people that I wanted
Speaker 3: to help, Like, I'm actually that person deciding if I
Speaker 3: should get my medication or not. So yeah, it's just hard.
Speaker 3: It's really hard, and I just wish there was something
Speaker 3: more I could do.
Speaker 2: It sounds like you know, as you say, getting the
Speaker 2: word out and doing what you're doing through wandering Aussie
Speaker 2: is definitely helping because people don't think enough about what
Speaker 2: everyone's going through. The other thing I really wanted to
Speaker 2: ask you is for a woman who's listening to this
Speaker 2: who feels like she's at one of those moments where
Speaker 2: all the plans have fallen a heap. You've been through
Speaker 2: a few of them, as we've discussed today, all the
Speaker 2: plans have fallen in a heap. She's got responsibilities, she's
Speaker 2: got no idea what life's going to look like in
Speaker 2: a few months or a year. Midlife can bash your confidence,
Speaker 2: as we've discussed, have you got words of wisdom?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: What gets you through?
Speaker 3: I warned you at the beginning there's no wisdom here.
Speaker 2: I think there's wisdom. How the hell have you got
Speaker 2: through some of those things?
Speaker 3: Oh? You know what? I reckon? It goes back to
Speaker 3: being a dancer and an actor as well. Because there's
Speaker 3: a lot of knockbacks in both of those worlds, and
Speaker 3: you have to become very resilient and you have to
Speaker 3: take the knocks and you have to get back up.
Speaker 3: Otherwise what is there? Like I did it for years
Speaker 3: as a dancer, you know, I go for twenty auditions
Speaker 3: and maybe I'll get one. As an actor, it was
Speaker 3: way worse, So go for one hundred auditions and maybe
Speaker 3: get one. So you kind of get used to being
Speaker 3: knocked down. And then as a single parent, you know,
Speaker 3: you've got the added weight. I don't know, You've just
Speaker 3: got to You just got to keep fighting.
Speaker 2: And I guess what some people have said is that
Speaker 2: you never know what's going to happen next, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like life throws you some bizarre curveballs sometimes.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's a cliche, but it's true.
Speaker 3: It's so true. And that's why I keep wanting to
Speaker 3: live life, you know, because nothing is certain. I just
Speaker 3: want to live the best life that I possibly can
Speaker 3: while I'm here, and I wanted to do as much
Speaker 3: as I possibly can with my son and give him
Speaker 3: the best start. It's a life. I told you there
Speaker 3: was no wisdom, no if that is wisdom.
Speaker 2: Look at you, it is wisdom. Oh, thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Oh thank you.
Speaker 2: Look. I need to tell you about Simone, even though
Speaker 2: she just did an excellent job of telling you about herself.
Speaker 2: She recorded that with us from her shed on the
Speaker 2: mid North coast of New South Wales, as the rain
Speaker 2: pelted down on a tin roof and her son played
Speaker 2: with the rescue dogs.
Speaker 3: On the floor.
Speaker 2: For a woman who's been through such a lot, her
Speaker 2: beauty and her very open energy just kind of pomped
Speaker 2: through the camera. And we did video that conversation. We
Speaker 2: always do video them, but we had a tech problem,
Speaker 2: which meant you're not going to see it, And I'm
Speaker 2: sorry about that, but I could have talked to her
Speaker 2: for a week. We talk about living a life full
Speaker 2: of stories, and I'm not sure there's a clearer example
Speaker 2: than that conversation. We just had a midwoman who's refusing
Speaker 2: to give up on the life she wants, no matter
Speaker 2: how hard it is. I just loved it. I'm always
Speaker 2: really energized by talking to people about the things that
Speaker 2: light them up, and what lits the mo own up
Speaker 2: was definitely her son and the time and the adventures
Speaker 2: that she wants to have with him, and I totally
Speaker 2: get it. Times ticking away, I feel like as your
Speaker 2: kids are growing up and you're like, but there's so
Speaker 2: much I want to do with you before you fly
Speaker 2: the nest. Friends, please remember to scroll back in this
Speaker 2: feed to hear more stories of overcoming remarkable stuff, like
Speaker 2: my conversation with Julie Goodwin about mental health and the
Speaker 2: moment her life was saved by a couple of strangers
Speaker 2: and their puppy, or with Christine Arnau, who spoke to
Speaker 2: me about rebuilding herself after divorce and facing up to
Speaker 2: the parts we all play in the moments that derail us.
Speaker 2: Just enormous. Thanks to you mids for embracing our show
Speaker 2: and to the team who helped put it together, led
Speaker 2: by our amazing executive producer Nama Brown and including sound
Speaker 2: design from Tom Lyon and production from Telisa Bizzazz. Go
Speaker 2: and follow us, Share this episode with a friend, throw
Speaker 2: us alike. It means the world. I'll see you here
Speaker 2: next week for a conversation about rage. I know you
Speaker 2: feel it too. I'll see you back here