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Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mama Miya acknowledges

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Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast

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Speaker 1: is recorded on. Hello, it's Mia here, and I wanted

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Speaker 1: to share with you a podcast interview that I didn't

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Speaker 1: do but I wish I had. It's from our sister

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Speaker 1: podcast Mid where Holly Wainwright interviews incredible gen X women

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Speaker 1: with incredible stories, and this is one that I particularly

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Speaker 1: think you're gonna love. So my Jade McKinnon was a big,

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Speaker 1: famous TV star in Australia. You might know her better

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Speaker 1: as Stevie, the character she played in McLeod's Daughters that

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Speaker 1: was such a beloved part of Australian entertainment and was

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Speaker 1: such a huge thing on our TV screens. She then

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Speaker 1: went to Hollywood. She was Ali in Baywatch and that's

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Speaker 1: where she worked alongside her fiance at the time, Jason Momoa,

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Speaker 1: before everything changed. He went on to marry a big

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Speaker 1: Hollywood star. Then he became a Hollywood star. He now

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Speaker 1: makes millions and is incredibly famous. But simone, Jade's life

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Speaker 1: was very, very different. She didn't stay in Hollywood, she

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Speaker 1: didn't make millions. Instead, she became a single mother, and

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Speaker 1: for a long time she was really really broke. It's

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Speaker 1: such a fascinating story because I think so often we

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Speaker 1: think that just because someone's face is recognizable and they

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Speaker 1: were famous once, that their life will be happily ever after.

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Speaker 1: And her story is actually so much more interesting than that,

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Speaker 1: and so much more meaningful. Enjoy this episode of Mid

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Speaker 1: with Simone Jade McKinnon interviewed by hollywain Right. And if

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Speaker 1: you want to hear more amazing stories like this, go

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Speaker 1: follow Mid wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 2: The midlife woman of Hollywood's imagination lives in a windswept

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Speaker 2: beach house, or in a chic Brooklyn brownstone, maybe a

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Speaker 2: tasteful Hampton style home with a kitchen island the size

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Speaker 2: of a pool table, an ape burn, a stone, and

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Speaker 2: a butler's pantry out the back. She wears tasteful roll

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Speaker 2: necks as she dips in and out of a fulfilling

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Speaker 2: career at will, usually something she can work on at

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Speaker 2: that home. Billowing with the smell of freshly baked bread,

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Speaker 2: she returns from the farmer's market with arms full of

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Speaker 2: freshly cut daffodils, and she brunches like she lunches often

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Speaker 2: and without ever lowering her eyes to the bottom of

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Speaker 2: the bill. Maybe you live like that, More likely you don't.

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Speaker 2: There's something we don't like to talk about that matters

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Speaker 2: more than almost anything when you're mid money, because it's

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Speaker 2: a time of life when choices you weren't even aware

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Speaker 2: you were making at twenty and thirty can come home

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Speaker 2: and build a stinky nest on your shoulder like a

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Speaker 2: squawking raven or a sweary parrot. Chose a career for love,

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Speaker 2: not money. Squawk decided to study another few years. Squawk

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Speaker 2: saved travels spent, save to travel spent. Squawk got blindsided

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Speaker 2: by the call to care for someone you love. Squawk

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Speaker 2: seduced by the free money promise of a shiny new

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Speaker 2: credit card. Squawk didn't push for that pay rise because

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Speaker 2: it's not what good girls do. Squawk stopped working to

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Speaker 2: be with your little kids and put your financial security

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Speaker 2: in the hands of someone you thought you could always

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Speaker 2: trust Squawk. Squawk. Squawk worked in a caring profession. Squawk.

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Speaker 2: None of those non decisions were wrong. The very idea

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Speaker 2: that there are years ahead when times will change and

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Speaker 2: it might be harder to get a job, earn money

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Speaker 2: get yourself out of a difficult spot seems like science

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Speaker 2: fiction when you're young and happy to toddle a high

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Speaker 2: wire without even asking about a safety net. We don't

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Speaker 2: like to talk about it because of what happens when

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Speaker 2: you fall. By mid women to know what's what, be

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Speaker 2: mature and careful and planned. We're supposed to see a

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Speaker 2: clear path ahead that promises comfort and choice. But we're

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Speaker 2: not immune, no matter what gen Z tell us daily

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Speaker 2: from the pressures and problems of an ever more expensive

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Speaker 2: world as our perceived value falls. We have mortgages and

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Speaker 2: rent to make. We have families of all ages and

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Speaker 2: stages to feed and care for. The cost of caring

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Speaker 2: for your parents, for yourself when you need it, sales

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Speaker 2: ever higher and taps you awake at night as you

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Speaker 2: add and subtract and shift in your head. For one

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Speaker 2: parent families, those maths get heavier and more complex. You've

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Speaker 2: heard I'm sure about the fifty something women living in

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Speaker 2: their cars, that it's the group of us most likely

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Speaker 2: to find themselves without a home. Maybe it's closer for

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Speaker 2: you than a report on the news. And then also,

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Speaker 2: we're maybe the first generation of women to have earned

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Speaker 2: well en mass the first to have serious choice about

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Speaker 2: this phase of our lives. To build wealth, we need

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Speaker 2: to thank no one for our rebellious generation is all

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Speaker 2: over the place and at all the extremes, which is

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Speaker 2: for us pretty standard. Perhaps the most goal post shifting

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Speaker 2: thing we can do right here is to do what

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Speaker 2: our mothers didn't show each other as sweary parrots and

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Speaker 2: talk about money. Hello. I am Holly Wainwright and I

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Speaker 2: am Mid mid Life, mid Family, mid overwhelm. Welcome to

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Speaker 2: our show for gen X women who are anything but mid.

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Speaker 2: And I want to say that we get quite a

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Speaker 2: lot of messages here at mid from people who don't

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Speaker 2: fall into that specific generation but love the conversations we're

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Speaker 2: having here, and I want to say to you welcome.

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Speaker 2: Mid is a state of mind, friends, as well as

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Speaker 2: a very real place. As the generation sometimes referred to

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Speaker 2: as the forgotten one between the much maligned boomers and millennials.

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Speaker 2: We're always happy when we're noticed and people want to

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Speaker 2: sit with us. You can sit with us, So take

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Speaker 2: a seat, because today we're talking about money with someone

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Speaker 2: who knows as well as many that not everyone over

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Speaker 2: thirty or forty is rich, not even everyone who's well

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Speaker 2: known is rich. Not even everyone who was in an

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Speaker 2: iconic TV show in the Nordies is rich. See where

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Speaker 2: I'm going. Simone Jade McKinnon was and is to many

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Speaker 2: Stevie from McLeod's Daughters if you're not familiar. That show

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Speaker 2: about a family of rural women in Australia's telegenic outback

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Speaker 2: was massive in the Nordies, and Simone, originally from rural Queensland, herself,

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Speaker 2: was massive along with it.

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Speaker 3: I promise I will continue to love you in good

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Speaker 3: times and in bad, and when I'm old and gray,

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Speaker 3: you will still.

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Speaker 1: Be the honest woman I've ever seen in my life.

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Speaker 2: She joined fresh from the Baywatch Hawaii cast, with a

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Speaker 2: Hollywood sta fiance on her arm and a creative career

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Speaker 2: very well established, and then everything changed. Simone and her

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Speaker 2: beautiful son Madigan have been living in a caravan and

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Speaker 2: then a shed in her family's back paddock for the

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Speaker 2: best part of a decade. She's been making edend's meet

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Speaker 2: with cares, subsidy on jobs like Jillaroo, and by starting

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Speaker 2: her own small business which has ridden the roller coaster

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Speaker 2: of COVID. Many of you will relate. I'm sure when

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Speaker 2: she decided to step out of a dark time and

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Speaker 2: back in front of a camera to go on a

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Speaker 2: reality show earlier this year. It was very clearly with

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Speaker 2: one goal in mind, the prize money. You'll hear how

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Speaker 2: that went, and in our conversation you'll hear what it

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Speaker 2: was like to be on one of the biggest shows

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Speaker 2: in the world and to get fired for what you

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Speaker 2: refuse to do in lingerie on a beach. You'll hear

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Speaker 2: how she came back from crippling panic attacks during a

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Speaker 2: high profile breakup to fill wedding scenes for our viewing pleasure.

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Speaker 2: And most importantly, you'll hear how she's kept moving and

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Speaker 2: dreaming and pushing on as she's been parenting her son

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Speaker 2: alone on a very minimal income. Simone is famous, but

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Speaker 2: she's not rich, and we often assume those things go together.

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Speaker 2: Her story might not be yours, but there's plenty of

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Speaker 2: familiar territory here for all of us mids. Welcome to

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Speaker 2: Mid's very first conversation about money with Simone Jade McKinnon. Simone,

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Speaker 2: everyone assumes that well known people are rich.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: You've got a face that's familiar from one of the

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Speaker 2: most beloved Australian TV shows of all time. But you've

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Speaker 2: been very open about the fact that you're not rich.

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Speaker 2: Is it a strange disconnect that people are like, there's

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Speaker 2: that famous lady, she must have it all sorted out.

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Speaker 3: I yeah, you know, I think a lot of people,

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Speaker 3: not just because I'm a single mummy that I think

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Speaker 3: a lot of people think actors in general because they

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Speaker 3: see the American actors, so they think Aussie actors are

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Speaker 3: on the same pay. We get the same kind of

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Speaker 3: residuals that other people maybe in America get, But yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know, once you've done and dusted on a show here,

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Speaker 3: there is some residuals that trickle feed. But if you

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Speaker 3: haven't worked for as long as I haven't worked, then

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Speaker 3: they're used up very quickly. And I guess it does

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Speaker 3: shock people that we're not like America, that we can't

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Speaker 3: live off one show as great as McLeod's was. We

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Speaker 3: just don't get paid that much.

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Speaker 2: You mean you weren't quite the Friends cast, is what

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Speaker 2: you're saying.

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Speaker 3: It was not even close to what those guys got

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Speaker 3: for half an hour work. Yeah. No, we're just nothing

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Speaker 3: like that. So I think people they assume that it's

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Speaker 3: the same as America. But I think they'd be really

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Speaker 3: shocked to know what we get paid compared to what

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Speaker 3: they get paid. And that's why once you gigens it iss.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, which is why I mean, actors always very honestly

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Speaker 2: talk about leaving from job to job, and that isn't

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Speaker 2: as glamorous as it all appears. But I think people

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Speaker 2: still kind of imagine that they've got it all sorted out.

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Speaker 2: Tell me a bit about what your real life, as

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Speaker 2: I always like to call like life away from work.

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Speaker 2: Tell me a bit about what your real life looks

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Speaker 2: like now.

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Speaker 3: My real life now is definitely different to any other lives.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I've had lots of lives. There was

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Speaker 3: the dancer life, there was an actor life, there's a

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Speaker 3: single mum life, and now there's this kind of small

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Speaker 3: business life. And the small business life is hard to

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Speaker 3: I'm in a caravan and a shed, and I've been

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Speaker 3: in a caravan since twenty sixteen, and I was solidly

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Speaker 3: in that caravan until end of twenty and nineteen when

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Speaker 3: the shed was finally built and wicked kind of spread

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Speaker 3: out a little bit.

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Speaker 2: And is this on a property, And I know you

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Speaker 2: live in northern new Well, Mid Northern New South Wales.

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Speaker 2: Is your shadd and your caravan on a property?

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Speaker 3: Yes, so it's on our old family land, which so

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Speaker 3: I sold up. I did have. I had enough money

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Speaker 3: to buy myself a nice little house and so when

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Speaker 3: Madigan was born, I relocated from South Australia to Coffs

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Speaker 3: Harbor to Beanie family. Being a single mum, I knew

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Speaker 3: that I needed help and so it did. Like I

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Speaker 3: had a nice house back then because of thanks to

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Speaker 3: McLeod's for the years of work I put that into there.

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Speaker 3: But I realized after six years in that house that

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Speaker 3: I wasn't going to be able to stay. So that's

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Speaker 3: why I sold up. And I wanted to do this

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Speaker 3: bucket list dream which was the round Oz run the Lab.

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Speaker 2: So you and your son together doing like around Australia

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Speaker 2: sort of odyssey in your caravan.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, well I didn't. I wasn't in the acting world,

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Speaker 3: you know. I thought I was nailing it as a

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Speaker 3: single mum, loving it. Madigan was about to start school

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Speaker 3: and I was like, this is the perfect time to

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Speaker 3: do it. I'll sell up. I didn't need that big

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Speaker 3: house that I had. I realized that wasn't it for me?

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Speaker 3: I would rather the adventure than the things. It was

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Speaker 3: great for that first six years, you know, a great

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Speaker 3: home base. Madigan's first memories were in this amazing old

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Speaker 3: Queenslander and you know it was lucky.

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Speaker 2: You've always led towards adventure a bit and travel.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I do. My parents traveled with me from I

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Speaker 3: was two and a half. So I was born in

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Speaker 3: Mount Is my sister was born, and then when she

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Speaker 3: was six months, I was two and a half. They

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Speaker 3: hit the road in a little tiny caravan. So my

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Speaker 3: first memories I don't remember Mount iSER, but my first

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Speaker 3: memories were in a van. It's two and a half years.

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Speaker 3: So by the time I went into KINDI that's when

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Speaker 3: we stopped. So I always say that it was those

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Speaker 3: guys that put the sort of gypsy. They gave me

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Speaker 3: the wanderlus. It just has been that way. And then

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Speaker 3: I went into two different careers, you know, my dancing

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Speaker 3: career that you're just on the move. I was out

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Speaker 3: of home at sixteen.

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Speaker 2: You were a ballet dancer, is that right?

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Speaker 3: I was, so I auditioned and then I actually ran

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Speaker 3: away kind of from the ballets to the Gold Coast.

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Speaker 3: But I was still under eighteen at that point, so

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Speaker 3: my mum and dad came and took me and brought

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Speaker 3: me back home to Coughs. And you know, I wasn't eighteen,

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Speaker 3: so I wasn't allowed to do anything until then anyway,

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Speaker 3: so I had to sit around. But in that time,

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Speaker 3: dance Encore gets a hold of me and says, guess

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Speaker 3: what we would love to have you. We know you're

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Speaker 3: not turning eighteen till March, but we can put you

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Speaker 3: in rehearsals in February and the beginning of March, and

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Speaker 3: you can be on a plane to Japan the day

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Speaker 3: after your eighteenth birthday.

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Speaker 2: The adventure begins, I know.

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Speaker 3: But then I had to convince mom and dad. I

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Speaker 3: was like, come on, this is it like? Because I

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Speaker 3: was still that means I was going to be seventeen

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Speaker 3: in Sydney while myself and I'd just run away, you know,

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Speaker 3: up the coast.

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Speaker 2: Did they let you do it? I assumed they did.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I somehow convinced them that it was what I wanted.

250
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Speaker 3: And you know, I'm not going to ruin a job opportunity.

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Speaker 3: It's different. I felt it would be different if I

252
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Speaker 3: was going to be paid. You know, I'd be accountable,

253
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Speaker 3: I'd be responsible, And I was, like, I have never worked.

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Speaker 3: That company taught me determination and discipline way more than

255
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Speaker 3: the ballet school did. Like I really learned to work

256
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,445
Speaker 3: my ass off in that company. Then I worked for

257
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Speaker 3: them for two years, back and forth to Japan, and

258
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Speaker 3: it was amazing.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like an incredible adventure for a young woman.

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Speaker 3: It was, and you know, it was not the dancing

261
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Speaker 3: that I had in my head as a kid, but

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Speaker 3: it was just it was a great adventure. And like

263
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Speaker 3: I said, it just taught me so much. And then

264
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Speaker 3: I came back and then I ended up doing Cats.

265
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Speaker 3: I auditioned for Cats, and then I felt like more

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Speaker 3: of a proper dancer, but I loved both just the same.

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Speaker 2: Just thinking about when I mean, we're going to obviously

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Speaker 2: get to all this later, but when you choose a

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Speaker 2: creative career, very few of us who choose creative careers

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Speaker 2: of all different kinds and necessarily driven by money. You know,

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Speaker 2: if you were driven by money and the idea of stability,

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Speaker 2: steady paychecks, regular increases, investment portfolios and stuff like, it's

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Speaker 2: the wrong career to choose, Let's be honest, right, But

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Speaker 2: one of the things when I talked to lots of

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Speaker 2: midlife women now who sort of have realized later in

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Speaker 2: life sometimes that, oh, like financial independence is so important.

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Speaker 2: Did you ever think about that kind of stuff or

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Speaker 2: were you always chasing the adventure and the experience and

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Speaker 2: the creativity.

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Speaker 3: Are always chasing the adventure. I definitely didn't think about that.

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Speaker 3: I'm not like a material kind of girl. I don't

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Speaker 3: think I have been. I think that's probably come from

283
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Speaker 3: my parents. They're not like that. Well, we never had

284
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Speaker 3: money to be like that, so you know, you kind

285
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Speaker 3: of have forced to be that way. And no, I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I just lived and I would work whatever other jobs

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Speaker 3: I had to to keep afloat so I could keep

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Speaker 3: that dream alive. So you know, I would wait. I

289
00:16:10,245 --> 00:16:12,405
Speaker 3: mean that's the main thing when you're a dancer. You

290
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Speaker 3: learn how to wait tables, make coffee, do all of that.

291
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Speaker 3: But then when I did get like Cats, I felt

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Speaker 3: Cats was the best thing. Now we got seven hundred dollars.

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Speaker 2: A week, Yeah, you would have been like rich.

294
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Speaker 3: So rich, and then you also got your per diem

295
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Speaker 3: and you're staying in these hotels all around. Well, we

296
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Speaker 3: did Asia, and then all of Australia's saying in like

297
00:16:37,085 --> 00:16:39,565
Speaker 3: great accommodation. You're getting this pa diem. You can live

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Speaker 3: off the Pa dieum if you're smart, which I did,

299
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Speaker 3: and so I felt like, yeah, I felt like I

300
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,445
Speaker 3: was winning at that point in my seven hundred dollars

301
00:16:47,445 --> 00:16:51,005
Speaker 3: a week. But then after Cats, I somehow sort of

302
00:16:51,045 --> 00:16:55,205
Speaker 3: fell into acting, and then money kind of did become

303
00:16:55,565 --> 00:17:00,165
Speaker 3: slightly more appealing because it blew like a whole week

304
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Speaker 3: of really really hard work, eight shows a week, three

305
00:17:03,925 --> 00:17:08,045
Speaker 3: hour shows. You know, that's a lot plus rehearsals, all

306
00:17:08,045 --> 00:17:10,805
Speaker 3: for your seven hundred bucks, But then you go and

307
00:17:10,845 --> 00:17:14,045
Speaker 3: do a TV commercial and you're there for two hours

308
00:17:14,045 --> 00:17:17,965
Speaker 3: and you get six grand. It sort of acting opened

309
00:17:17,965 --> 00:17:21,005
Speaker 3: my eyes and probably, if I'm being really honest and truthful,

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Speaker 3: I would say money certainly swayed me into the acting world.

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Speaker 2: I mean, obviously your life took lots of turns, but

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Speaker 2: when you were sort of in a Hollywood adjacent period,

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Speaker 2: did you have your head turned that you know how

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Speaker 2: you were saying before, I've never been a materialistic person,

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Speaker 2: and that's obvious that your values are not that right.

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Speaker 2: It's obvious, and the choices you've made the way you

317
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Speaker 2: live your life. Did you have your head turned when

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Speaker 2: you were almost adjacent to that kind of big, glitzy world.

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Speaker 2: Did it seem attractive then? Were you seduced by it

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Speaker 2: at all?

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Speaker 3: In America?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah. Look so my first proper acting job, you know,

324
00:17:56,885 --> 00:18:00,325
Speaker 3: I did twenty three TV commercials from a dancer. I

325
00:18:00,445 --> 00:18:04,085
Speaker 3: was taking some time off and I had an agent

326
00:18:04,205 --> 00:18:06,925
Speaker 3: and I said to that agent, you know, I need

327
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Speaker 3: a break, and she called like in a week in

328
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Speaker 3: and said, hey, I've got an audition for you. And

329
00:18:10,445 --> 00:18:11,765
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I need a rest, and she's like, no,

330
00:18:11,845 --> 00:18:14,845
Speaker 3: it's an acting job. You just got to look longingly

331
00:18:14,965 --> 00:18:17,525
Speaker 3: at a chip, like it's a KFC. You just got

332
00:18:17,565 --> 00:18:19,005
Speaker 3: to look at a chip. And I was like, no,

333
00:18:19,045 --> 00:18:20,645
Speaker 3: I'm not an actor. And she's like, you just pretended

334
00:18:20,645 --> 00:18:21,965
Speaker 3: to be a cap for two years, Yes you are.

335
00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:25,765
Speaker 3: And it pays two grand. And I was like two

336
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,165
Speaker 3: grand for how long? They're two grand for maybe half

337
00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:31,045
Speaker 3: a day if you're there that long. Anyway, I was like, okay,

338
00:18:31,085 --> 00:18:34,365
Speaker 3: I'll do that. So I did all these TV commercials

339
00:18:35,485 --> 00:18:38,085
Speaker 3: and they paid really really well. I did them for

340
00:18:38,165 --> 00:18:42,365
Speaker 3: probably three years. But then anyway, Baywatch came to town. Yeah,

341
00:18:42,605 --> 00:18:45,285
Speaker 3: and it was my first I've done sort of a

342
00:18:45,365 --> 00:18:49,605
Speaker 3: couple of little roles. I think i'd done water at anyway,

343
00:18:49,605 --> 00:18:52,925
Speaker 3: a couple of little rolls, sort of one liners, not

344
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:57,645
Speaker 3: real scenes as such. Anyway, bay Watch came to town. I auditioned.

345
00:18:58,165 --> 00:19:01,925
Speaker 3: That's a whole nother story. Bay Watching me was just bizarre.

346
00:19:02,205 --> 00:19:04,725
Speaker 2: But what a thing, Like, what a thing to come

347
00:19:04,765 --> 00:19:07,325
Speaker 2: to town. You know, when you're I don't know if

348
00:19:07,365 --> 00:19:09,245
Speaker 2: you relate to this or not, but you know we're similar.

349
00:19:10,165 --> 00:19:12,445
Speaker 2: Now you look back at life and you go that decision,

350
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:16,205
Speaker 2: that job, that relationship, that moment, like the things that

351
00:19:16,485 --> 00:19:19,925
Speaker 2: change your path, you can see them very clearly from

352
00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:23,285
Speaker 2: where we're sitting now, right, and that obviously was one

353
00:19:23,325 --> 00:19:24,405
Speaker 2: of those moments.

354
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Speaker 3: They were definitely changed the path that first audition. You know,

355
00:19:29,525 --> 00:19:32,765
Speaker 3: I went in there. I was doing my TV commercials,

356
00:19:32,765 --> 00:19:35,485
Speaker 3: but I was mainly working in the restaurants at that

357
00:19:35,525 --> 00:19:37,525
Speaker 3: point in time, and you know, a bit of a

358
00:19:37,605 --> 00:19:41,405
Speaker 3: night our partying. So I was lily white, short red hair.

359
00:19:42,045 --> 00:19:43,325
Speaker 3: My agent's like, you're going to go in for this

360
00:19:43,365 --> 00:19:47,325
Speaker 3: bay Watch audition. I was like, are you mental? Like no, no,

361
00:19:48,285 --> 00:19:50,605
Speaker 3: And well I agreed, and then sure enough I get

362
00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:55,085
Speaker 3: there everyone's you know, either blonde like the Kimberly.

363
00:19:55,045 --> 00:19:58,165
Speaker 2: Yes, Kimberly Davis is that what she was called as well,

364
00:19:58,245 --> 00:20:00,925
Speaker 2: the two of them. Yeah, and that was very much

365
00:20:01,005 --> 00:20:04,605
Speaker 2: an esthetic at that time. There was like a Pamela

366
00:20:04,645 --> 00:20:09,085
Speaker 2: Anderson obviously the bay Watch connection, but a very blonde, beautiful, curvy.

367
00:20:09,645 --> 00:20:13,085
Speaker 3: Long haired, definitely beach babe, beach bod all of that.

368
00:20:13,285 --> 00:20:18,525
Speaker 3: And then there was me. But for whatever reason, you

369
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:21,285
Speaker 3: know that Alexandra Paul who had been on the show prior,

370
00:20:21,365 --> 00:20:23,245
Speaker 3: had the short hair. She was a bit boonboyish, you know,

371
00:20:23,285 --> 00:20:26,245
Speaker 3: she was the different one she had left the show.

372
00:20:26,365 --> 00:20:29,565
Speaker 3: So that's I guess how I got my start because

373
00:20:29,565 --> 00:20:32,485
Speaker 3: they were looking for something just different. Yeah, no, so

374
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:36,085
Speaker 3: they was definitely put me on a different path. And

375
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:39,365
Speaker 3: when I got to Hawaii, they gave us a convertible.

376
00:20:39,445 --> 00:20:42,565
Speaker 3: I was at the Hilton Hawaiian Village with one hundred

377
00:20:42,565 --> 00:20:47,285
Speaker 3: and eighty k Waikiki beach views. You go into the

378
00:20:47,285 --> 00:20:50,445
Speaker 3: best parties, you people are giving you clothes, so you

379
00:20:50,525 --> 00:20:55,005
Speaker 3: do get a little bit carried away with that kind

380
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:57,165
Speaker 3: of life. Like it was so new, it was so different.

381
00:20:57,205 --> 00:20:59,365
Speaker 3: So I went from my seven hundred dollars, as you

382
00:20:59,405 --> 00:21:01,685
Speaker 3: know as a dancer, and the commercials that paid well

383
00:21:02,085 --> 00:21:04,845
Speaker 3: to Now this was minimum, but it was three grand

384
00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:09,645
Speaker 3: US in ninety nine and your perdem and you accommodation again,

385
00:21:10,045 --> 00:21:14,285
Speaker 3: so that was huge. Our dollar was so weak at

386
00:21:14,285 --> 00:21:18,165
Speaker 3: that point, so my three grand American was massive money

387
00:21:18,205 --> 00:21:19,485
Speaker 3: to me. Massive.

388
00:21:19,925 --> 00:21:21,605
Speaker 2: So there are times in your life where you're like,

389
00:21:22,085 --> 00:21:24,845
Speaker 2: I'm nailing it. And was that one? Did you love it?

390
00:21:24,885 --> 00:21:28,405
Speaker 2: Did you love all that, the parties, the convertible, the glamour.

391
00:21:28,605 --> 00:21:30,885
Speaker 2: Was that very exciting or did you quickly kind of

392
00:21:30,885 --> 00:21:31,725
Speaker 2: go I don't know.

393
00:21:32,965 --> 00:21:40,205
Speaker 3: Yeah, both, I loved all of it. With Baywatch comes Baywatch,

394
00:21:40,805 --> 00:21:43,525
Speaker 3: you know, and the stigma that's around a show like that.

395
00:21:43,525 --> 00:21:45,645
Speaker 3: That acting wasn't good. I mean I learned so much

396
00:21:45,685 --> 00:21:48,285
Speaker 3: so I would never ever slam it for that because

397
00:21:48,325 --> 00:21:52,525
Speaker 3: it taught me all the things about camera angles and

398
00:21:53,205 --> 00:21:57,285
Speaker 3: sizes and lighting and just learning lines. You know, I

399
00:21:57,325 --> 00:22:00,245
Speaker 3: hadn't really done that before, so you know, it taught

400
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:02,605
Speaker 3: me a lot. But then there's also the other side

401
00:22:02,645 --> 00:22:04,405
Speaker 3: of Baywatch, which was the weight.

402
00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:06,645
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was going to say, what was it like

403
00:22:06,765 --> 00:22:08,725
Speaker 2: being in your cozi all the time? Did you feel

404
00:22:08,845 --> 00:22:11,005
Speaker 2: pressure around other women?

405
00:22:11,805 --> 00:22:14,125
Speaker 3: Yeah? One hundred percent, And because the girls out there

406
00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:17,565
Speaker 3: were absolutely extraordinary. I went in there the smallest I've

407
00:22:17,565 --> 00:22:19,725
Speaker 3: ever been. I think I was weighing in it. This

408
00:22:19,845 --> 00:22:24,245
Speaker 3: is horrible, forty five kilo and I'm five seven when

409
00:22:24,245 --> 00:22:26,685
Speaker 3: I first got there. Because I was so paranoid before

410
00:22:26,725 --> 00:22:31,805
Speaker 3: I went that, I just trained like nothing else and

411
00:22:31,845 --> 00:22:34,845
Speaker 3: all eight was protein and I stripped down and I

412
00:22:34,925 --> 00:22:36,885
Speaker 3: thought I was looking okay. But I look back at

413
00:22:36,925 --> 00:22:40,445
Speaker 3: those first few episodes of Baywatch and I'm like so thin,

414
00:22:41,165 --> 00:22:42,885
Speaker 3: Like I couldn't see it in real life. But when

415
00:22:42,885 --> 00:22:46,205
Speaker 3: I watched it back, it was also.

416
00:22:45,925 --> 00:22:51,125
Speaker 2: Though that nineties esthetic was tiny, right like sometimes when

417
00:22:51,165 --> 00:22:54,005
Speaker 2: you look. But I mean, and I was watching TV

418
00:22:54,205 --> 00:22:57,285
Speaker 2: at that time and very much immersed in that. It definitely,

419
00:22:57,445 --> 00:22:59,165
Speaker 2: as I say, seems to have been a time when

420
00:22:59,165 --> 00:23:02,245
Speaker 2: we decided that women needed to be absolutely tiny in that.

421
00:23:02,245 --> 00:23:05,005
Speaker 2: With that, so you're in Hawaii, You're getting paid money

422
00:23:05,005 --> 00:23:07,365
Speaker 2: that to you is like wow, and living the life.

423
00:23:07,565 --> 00:23:09,085
Speaker 2: There's a lot of shit that comes along with it,

424
00:23:09,125 --> 00:23:12,885
Speaker 2: like not allowed to eat, but you're going to all

425
00:23:12,925 --> 00:23:15,245
Speaker 2: the parties, you're meeting Hollywood stars and all the rest

426
00:23:15,245 --> 00:23:15,525
Speaker 2: of it.

427
00:23:16,325 --> 00:23:19,285
Speaker 3: Then what happens, Well, look, I realized that all of

428
00:23:19,285 --> 00:23:22,565
Speaker 3: that stuff wasn't really important. And you know, I got

429
00:23:22,565 --> 00:23:25,685
Speaker 3: fired in the middle of Baywatch, so sorry. I know

430
00:23:25,725 --> 00:23:27,285
Speaker 3: we said we weren't going to go down the PA

431
00:23:28,005 --> 00:23:29,845
Speaker 3: that's fine, but I didn't fired in the middle of

432
00:23:29,885 --> 00:23:32,445
Speaker 3: it because I refused to do a photo shoot that

433
00:23:33,285 --> 00:23:35,285
Speaker 3: I just didn't think it was. I'd already done so

434
00:23:35,365 --> 00:23:38,245
Speaker 3: much publicity for them and I used up my quota

435
00:23:38,285 --> 00:23:39,245
Speaker 3: and I just put my foot down.

436
00:23:39,245 --> 00:23:41,565
Speaker 2: Anyway, What kind of photo shoot did they want you

437
00:23:41,645 --> 00:23:41,925
Speaker 2: to do?

438
00:23:42,445 --> 00:23:45,245
Speaker 3: Look, it was for one of the men's magazines.

439
00:23:44,805 --> 00:23:47,445
Speaker 2: Which are massive then, like just for like I'm sure

440
00:23:47,445 --> 00:23:50,325
Speaker 2: our listers will remember because they're grown ups, but those

441
00:23:50,405 --> 00:23:54,445
Speaker 2: men's mags were huge at that time, right, huge.

442
00:23:54,285 --> 00:23:56,725
Speaker 3: And especially for Baywatch, Like there was going to be

443
00:23:56,725 --> 00:24:00,165
Speaker 3: a cover. I think it was Maxim And I was

444
00:24:00,205 --> 00:24:02,405
Speaker 3: really excited at first because I was like, oh, that's cool.

445
00:24:02,645 --> 00:24:05,165
Speaker 3: But then I had in my head, Okay, we'll do

446
00:24:05,205 --> 00:24:07,245
Speaker 3: a black and white shoot. It'll be with shears in

447
00:24:07,285 --> 00:24:10,405
Speaker 3: a hotel room. Maybe there'll be a cigarette a bit suspenders,

448
00:24:10,445 --> 00:24:13,045
Speaker 3: Like I'll make it. This could be amazing.

449
00:24:12,845 --> 00:24:13,925
Speaker 2: Sexy but tasteful.

450
00:24:14,005 --> 00:24:17,245
Speaker 3: You're thinking super tasteful but super sexy. I was like,

451
00:24:17,285 --> 00:24:20,845
Speaker 3: this would be nice and I'm like, no, no, it's lingerie,

452
00:24:20,885 --> 00:24:22,365
Speaker 3: but you'll be on the beach with the girls, a

453
00:24:22,365 --> 00:24:24,885
Speaker 3: bit of a girl on girl, you know. Action. I've

454
00:24:24,885 --> 00:24:27,405
Speaker 3: got nothing against that at all, and I certainly had

455
00:24:27,445 --> 00:24:30,925
Speaker 3: nothing against my co stars, but I was just done

456
00:24:31,125 --> 00:24:33,445
Speaker 3: with all of that. Like, you know, we had to

457
00:24:33,485 --> 00:24:38,125
Speaker 3: go to football games and basketball games in our swimsuits

458
00:24:38,165 --> 00:24:40,005
Speaker 3: so they could be in the middle, you know, of

459
00:24:40,045 --> 00:24:42,285
Speaker 3: the night, eight o'clock at night, and there we were

460
00:24:42,765 --> 00:24:43,605
Speaker 3: in the middle going.

461
00:24:43,885 --> 00:24:49,845
Speaker 2: So they kind of treated the bay Watch actresses like models, cheerleaders,

462
00:24:50,445 --> 00:24:53,325
Speaker 2: what do you call them? Promo girls like girl Yeah,

463
00:24:53,365 --> 00:24:55,285
Speaker 2: which there's nothing wrong with that as a way to

464
00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:56,965
Speaker 2: make a living, but that's not what you thought you

465
00:24:56,965 --> 00:24:57,405
Speaker 2: were doing.

466
00:24:58,005 --> 00:25:00,605
Speaker 3: Yeah. I was just thinking, you know, I wanted to

467
00:25:00,645 --> 00:25:03,845
Speaker 3: be taken what as serious as you could be taken

468
00:25:03,885 --> 00:25:07,845
Speaker 3: on bait Watch and that sort of thing, especially when

469
00:25:07,885 --> 00:25:11,325
Speaker 3: I'd done what my con tracked had already, you know,

470
00:25:11,365 --> 00:25:14,605
Speaker 3: I'd done my quota. I didn't want to be doing

471
00:25:14,645 --> 00:25:17,405
Speaker 3: any more of those, and so I just stood my

472
00:25:17,445 --> 00:25:18,125
Speaker 3: ground and.

473
00:25:18,565 --> 00:25:19,485
Speaker 2: It didn't go down.

474
00:25:19,525 --> 00:25:24,165
Speaker 3: Well, it's just backfired. But I'm so stubborn. I'm so stubborn.

475
00:25:24,405 --> 00:25:26,645
Speaker 3: They were, like they called me in and they said

476
00:25:26,805 --> 00:25:28,205
Speaker 3: you have to do it, and I said, I'll be

477
00:25:28,245 --> 00:25:30,405
Speaker 3: as sexy as you like, but please, can we do

478
00:25:30,485 --> 00:25:32,205
Speaker 3: it like in a hotel. I don't want to do

479
00:25:32,245 --> 00:25:34,085
Speaker 3: the girl on girl. I don't want to do that,

480
00:25:34,125 --> 00:25:35,125
Speaker 3: and I don't want to do it on beach, and

481
00:25:35,165 --> 00:25:37,765
Speaker 3: don't want to do it in like underwear on a beach,

482
00:25:37,805 --> 00:25:40,565
Speaker 3: wet lingerie on a beach. So it's just yuck. And

483
00:25:40,565 --> 00:25:42,285
Speaker 3: they were like, Noah, this is what you're doing and

484
00:25:42,285 --> 00:25:44,285
Speaker 3: I said, well, I'm not so and they said, okay,

485
00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:45,845
Speaker 3: we we're sending you home. You're fired.

486
00:25:49,285 --> 00:25:57,365
Speaker 2: More of my conversation with Simone after this shortbreak, so again,

487
00:25:57,485 --> 00:25:59,285
Speaker 2: we could be here all day. Because your life is

488
00:25:59,405 --> 00:26:03,885
Speaker 2: very interesting. So you've got this level of success. You know,

489
00:26:03,965 --> 00:26:07,565
Speaker 2: you're going in Hollywood movies, you had a famous boyfriend

490
00:26:07,565 --> 00:26:10,685
Speaker 2: at this time. Then you do come back to Australia

491
00:26:10,725 --> 00:26:12,925
Speaker 2: and you're on Mcloud's Daughters, which is one, as I

492
00:26:12,925 --> 00:26:15,445
Speaker 2: said before, it's in the cannon of one of the

493
00:26:15,485 --> 00:26:17,645
Speaker 2: most loved Ossie TV shows ever.

494
00:26:17,845 --> 00:26:18,605
Speaker 3: Right for sure?

495
00:26:19,005 --> 00:26:21,765
Speaker 2: Was it amazing to be on it at the time?

496
00:26:22,045 --> 00:26:26,645
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I mean I definitely had moments in la and

497
00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:30,365
Speaker 3: in America where I felt like especially that movie in Lithuania.

498
00:26:30,405 --> 00:26:33,645
Speaker 3: I felt like, oh, I'm a proper actress now. But

499
00:26:33,685 --> 00:26:35,325
Speaker 3: then I did some big grade movies too that made

500
00:26:35,365 --> 00:26:40,365
Speaker 3: me go okay. But then when I came back to McLeod's,

501
00:26:40,405 --> 00:26:42,325
Speaker 3: you know, i'd never seen the show because I'd been

502
00:26:42,325 --> 00:26:45,885
Speaker 3: in America, and they flew me back for the second audition.

503
00:26:45,965 --> 00:26:47,765
Speaker 3: So I did a self tape in America, and the

504
00:26:47,765 --> 00:26:50,645
Speaker 3: second audition was back here in Australia, and they gave

505
00:26:50,725 --> 00:26:53,445
Speaker 3: me six or seven episodes to watch in the hotel

506
00:26:53,565 --> 00:26:57,005
Speaker 3: before I was to do this, and I was like, oh, no,

507
00:26:57,925 --> 00:27:01,045
Speaker 3: these guys are amazing, like amazing, amazing. How am I

508
00:27:01,085 --> 00:27:03,125
Speaker 3: going to do this? Like I'm not a trained actor.

509
00:27:03,205 --> 00:27:05,365
Speaker 3: I looked at a chip once and then next thing,

510
00:27:05,405 --> 00:27:07,125
Speaker 3: you know, I'm here.

511
00:27:08,565 --> 00:27:11,365
Speaker 2: You know I looked at the chip once and now

512
00:27:11,445 --> 00:27:11,965
Speaker 2: I mean.

513
00:27:12,085 --> 00:27:16,165
Speaker 3: That's how when like it just pure And so that

514
00:27:16,285 --> 00:27:19,365
Speaker 3: made me really really nervous because the standard, you know,

515
00:27:19,405 --> 00:27:22,245
Speaker 3: the actors who were the nier people were Briety and

516
00:27:22,325 --> 00:27:25,925
Speaker 3: Aaron there, and you know, they all trained and amazing,

517
00:27:26,045 --> 00:27:31,005
Speaker 3: and I did feel very uncertain about the second audition.

518
00:27:31,485 --> 00:27:33,645
Speaker 3: But luckily they put me on a horse and I

519
00:27:33,685 --> 00:27:36,005
Speaker 3: grew up with horses, right, I mean, I'd never hit

520
00:27:36,005 --> 00:27:38,765
Speaker 3: a mark before on a horse. I was comfortable cantering

521
00:27:38,805 --> 00:27:40,685
Speaker 3: in on a horse, and my character had to be

522
00:27:40,765 --> 00:27:43,805
Speaker 3: really comfy. So I think my audition wasn't great. My

523
00:27:43,805 --> 00:27:46,805
Speaker 3: first audition was, but the second one wasn't so great.

524
00:27:46,805 --> 00:27:49,565
Speaker 3: But because I nailed it on the horse anyway, Yes,

525
00:27:49,765 --> 00:27:53,965
Speaker 3: McCloud's was amazing for me to be now with these

526
00:27:54,045 --> 00:27:59,765
Speaker 3: actors that were so talented, to be working with animals,

527
00:27:59,805 --> 00:28:03,525
Speaker 3: to be back in Australia, like all of those things.

528
00:28:03,685 --> 00:28:07,485
Speaker 3: The last couple of years in America mem X were

529
00:28:07,645 --> 00:28:10,525
Speaker 3: like out in a caravan again. Caravan we moved out

530
00:28:10,525 --> 00:28:12,565
Speaker 3: of LA. He wasn't an LA kind of person either,

531
00:28:12,645 --> 00:28:16,085
Speaker 3: so we'd been living in an airstream out there in

532
00:28:16,125 --> 00:28:20,605
Speaker 3: the middle of Valencia, and we've sort of been away

533
00:28:20,765 --> 00:28:23,445
Speaker 3: from all the big material things anyway. But for me

534
00:28:23,525 --> 00:28:28,085
Speaker 3: to be back and be on home to family could

535
00:28:28,125 --> 00:28:33,125
Speaker 3: come and visit, doing this extraordinary show with these amazing

536
00:28:33,245 --> 00:28:36,245
Speaker 3: people was just the biggest gift ever.

537
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:41,125
Speaker 2: So interesting that you know you are originally from country Australia,

538
00:28:41,165 --> 00:28:43,805
Speaker 2: I guess, and then you're on the most iconic regional

539
00:28:43,845 --> 00:28:44,525
Speaker 2: country show.

540
00:28:44,925 --> 00:28:45,205
Speaker 3: Yeah.

541
00:28:45,285 --> 00:28:47,285
Speaker 2: I don't want to push on this too much because

542
00:28:47,325 --> 00:28:49,125
Speaker 2: I know it's personal. But I have seen a post

543
00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:51,365
Speaker 2: of yours that you put up once of you were

544
00:28:51,365 --> 00:28:53,325
Speaker 2: in a wedding dress on the side of McCloud's you're

545
00:28:53,325 --> 00:28:55,725
Speaker 2: filming the wedding scene, but you actually were going through

546
00:28:55,765 --> 00:28:57,845
Speaker 2: personal heartbreak at the time. I think you and your

547
00:28:57,885 --> 00:28:59,805
Speaker 2: axe had just broken up. Ah.

548
00:28:59,885 --> 00:29:04,005
Speaker 3: Yes, well I didn't break up. He left and he

549
00:29:04,125 --> 00:29:08,045
Speaker 3: left very very suddenly. And you know, I'd been an

550
00:29:08,045 --> 00:29:12,685
Speaker 3: anxious person sometimes, you know, nerves can totally get the

551
00:29:12,725 --> 00:29:15,205
Speaker 3: best of me when it comes to auditions. If it's

552
00:29:15,245 --> 00:29:19,125
Speaker 3: something really important, you know, the nerves can just completely derail,

553
00:29:19,445 --> 00:29:22,405
Speaker 3: like I can't think, I can't do anything, and that's normal.

554
00:29:22,965 --> 00:29:27,325
Speaker 3: But when he left, it catapulted me into a world

555
00:29:27,685 --> 00:29:31,965
Speaker 3: of anxiety that I didn't know existed, and it opened

556
00:29:31,965 --> 00:29:36,925
Speaker 3: the door to panic attacks. So he left the end

557
00:29:36,965 --> 00:29:38,885
Speaker 3: of November two thousand and six.

558
00:29:38,965 --> 00:29:40,925
Speaker 2: And you were like, you were a long distance at

559
00:29:40,925 --> 00:29:44,645
Speaker 2: this point, so correct, And you're contracted to be in

560
00:29:44,685 --> 00:29:49,205
Speaker 2: a tiny town in South Australia dealing with this from afar,

561
00:29:49,285 --> 00:29:53,885
Speaker 2: which must have been very like discombobulating on a million levels.

562
00:29:54,485 --> 00:29:56,845
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, he flew into break up with me, I guess.

563
00:29:57,805 --> 00:29:59,725
Speaker 3: So he did do it face to face, but it

564
00:29:59,765 --> 00:30:02,325
Speaker 3: came out of the blue because I was leaving Mcloud's.

565
00:30:02,325 --> 00:30:04,565
Speaker 3: I'd given my notice we were about to be married.

566
00:30:05,165 --> 00:30:09,045
Speaker 3: You know, we were talking baby names, my world. I

567
00:30:09,045 --> 00:30:11,285
Speaker 3: thought I knew what my world was. And here's my

568
00:30:11,405 --> 00:30:15,285
Speaker 3: character playing she's going to be a bride. So all

569
00:30:15,325 --> 00:30:18,045
Speaker 3: this good stuff's happening for my character, it's happening for

570
00:30:18,125 --> 00:30:21,325
Speaker 3: me in my mind as well. You know, I'll be

571
00:30:21,365 --> 00:30:23,485
Speaker 3: written out of the show. This would have been an

572
00:30:23,525 --> 00:30:26,885
Speaker 3: amazing four years, but I'm going off to live my life.

573
00:30:27,205 --> 00:30:31,525
Speaker 3: He turns up, leaves with no explanation, and I have

574
00:30:31,645 --> 00:30:34,005
Speaker 3: to go. The very first thing I do on the Monday.

575
00:30:34,085 --> 00:30:36,885
Speaker 3: Can you believe he left on the Friday? The very

576
00:30:36,925 --> 00:30:39,685
Speaker 3: first thing I had to do that Monday was try

577
00:30:39,725 --> 00:30:44,405
Speaker 3: on Stevie's wedding dress, the very first thing. I don't

578
00:30:44,525 --> 00:30:46,725
Speaker 3: really remember it from the moment he left. I think

579
00:30:46,765 --> 00:30:48,765
Speaker 3: I just drank myself into a bit of a stupor

580
00:30:48,925 --> 00:30:52,765
Speaker 3: the entire weekend. Don't think I ate much anyway. They

581
00:30:53,005 --> 00:30:57,125
Speaker 3: take me and I'm a mess. I can't even stand.

582
00:30:57,165 --> 00:30:59,565
Speaker 3: I'm just crying. I'm sobbing, and they're just going to

583
00:30:59,645 --> 00:31:03,045
Speaker 3: hold me up trying to fit this wedding dress. So

584
00:31:03,085 --> 00:31:05,485
Speaker 3: I've never even tried my real wedding dress on. I

585
00:31:05,485 --> 00:31:06,205
Speaker 3: hadn't bought one.

586
00:31:06,685 --> 00:31:06,845
Speaker 2: You know.

587
00:31:06,885 --> 00:31:08,165
Speaker 3: It was going to be a beach wedding, so it

588
00:31:08,205 --> 00:31:08,725
Speaker 3: wasn't going to.

589
00:31:08,645 --> 00:31:12,205
Speaker 2: Be any but still it was all there in your mind.

590
00:31:12,445 --> 00:31:13,325
Speaker 2: What was going to happen.

591
00:31:13,445 --> 00:31:15,885
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd never tried any wedding dress on. I'd never

592
00:31:15,925 --> 00:31:18,645
Speaker 3: played a bride, so this was the first time ever.

593
00:31:19,405 --> 00:31:21,805
Speaker 3: He just left and here I am trying to put

594
00:31:21,805 --> 00:31:24,525
Speaker 3: this dress on. Anyway, I didn't from that moment though.

595
00:31:24,965 --> 00:31:26,805
Speaker 3: They did hold me up and I had to go

596
00:31:26,845 --> 00:31:28,965
Speaker 3: to set. Only had one scene to do that first

597
00:31:29,045 --> 00:31:32,845
Speaker 3: day on that Monday, and I just stopped. I shut

598
00:31:32,885 --> 00:31:36,965
Speaker 3: it off, and I didn't cry again at work. They

599
00:31:37,005 --> 00:31:40,365
Speaker 3: flew my family in immediately, which was amazing. So I

600
00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:42,645
Speaker 3: had my little niece, who was maybe two or three

601
00:31:42,805 --> 00:31:45,685
Speaker 3: three at the time, at home with me, and my

602
00:31:45,765 --> 00:31:48,445
Speaker 3: sister was there, you know. So I didn't cry at work,

603
00:31:48,445 --> 00:31:51,485
Speaker 3: I didn't cry at home. But a couple of weeks

604
00:31:51,525 --> 00:31:56,005
Speaker 3: went by with this somehow held within. I'm playing the

605
00:31:56,045 --> 00:31:59,885
Speaker 3: giddy bride, so I'm going the opposite while I'm at work.

606
00:32:00,645 --> 00:32:03,805
Speaker 3: But then one day I'd had a dream, walked into

607
00:32:03,805 --> 00:32:07,725
Speaker 3: the makeup bus and one of my co stars just said, oh,

608
00:32:07,765 --> 00:32:09,325
Speaker 3: you look better, and I was like, yeah, I feel good.

609
00:32:09,485 --> 00:32:10,925
Speaker 3: I had a dream. I told him where to go,

610
00:32:12,005 --> 00:32:15,445
Speaker 3: feeling really confident, and the second I did it, my

611
00:32:15,565 --> 00:32:19,445
Speaker 3: world just like collapsed but imploded at the same time.

612
00:32:20,245 --> 00:32:23,085
Speaker 3: I didn't know what was happening. I couldn't move. All

613
00:32:23,085 --> 00:32:25,405
Speaker 3: I could hear was people around me saying you're right

614
00:32:25,485 --> 00:32:27,325
Speaker 3: or you're right, But I was just I was frozen.

615
00:32:27,525 --> 00:32:30,365
Speaker 3: It's completely and utterly frozen, but I believe I was

616
00:32:30,645 --> 00:32:35,765
Speaker 3: breathing really, really heavily. Anyway, they quickly rushed got the

617
00:32:35,925 --> 00:32:40,045
Speaker 3: medic to come in, and that was the first panic

618
00:32:40,085 --> 00:32:43,005
Speaker 3: attack that I'd ever had, and it came from just

619
00:32:43,085 --> 00:32:46,245
Speaker 3: that little tiny bit of joy that I had from,

620
00:32:46,485 --> 00:32:48,805
Speaker 3: you know, telling him off in my dream. In my

621
00:32:48,845 --> 00:32:53,805
Speaker 3: subconscious it was crazy. And so that photo Stevie, my

622
00:32:53,885 --> 00:32:58,445
Speaker 3: character was shooting the wedding. So everything I did from friggin'

623
00:32:58,485 --> 00:33:02,965
Speaker 3: moment that he left was all Stevie's happiness and joy.

624
00:33:03,685 --> 00:33:05,885
Speaker 3: So of course the wedding itself was going to be

625
00:33:05,885 --> 00:33:08,485
Speaker 3: a hurdle. Everybody knew it. You know, these panic attacks

626
00:33:08,485 --> 00:33:11,325
Speaker 3: had started, so knew that they would come, and they'd

627
00:33:11,325 --> 00:33:15,685
Speaker 3: come randomly, you never knew, but we assumed that the

628
00:33:15,725 --> 00:33:18,085
Speaker 3: bowls were probably going to be the worst. But I

629
00:33:18,125 --> 00:33:20,805
Speaker 3: somehow got through the vows. Don't know it, got it.

630
00:33:20,845 --> 00:33:23,925
Speaker 3: But then and then there was the wedding, the first dance,

631
00:33:24,565 --> 00:33:27,285
Speaker 3: and it's just massive. It was as nearly as big

632
00:33:27,325 --> 00:33:29,685
Speaker 3: as the first one. I think it was a huge,

633
00:33:29,805 --> 00:33:33,805
Speaker 3: huge panic attack. And then that was the aftermath. So

634
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:36,325
Speaker 3: I was sitting in the dining room in the big

635
00:33:36,365 --> 00:33:39,845
Speaker 3: old house and my makeup artist Jodie was just trying

636
00:33:39,925 --> 00:33:41,925
Speaker 3: to put me back together, and of course I'd had

637
00:33:41,925 --> 00:33:45,085
Speaker 3: them for a bit. Now everyone was not so panicked anymore.

638
00:33:45,085 --> 00:33:47,725
Speaker 3: We knew that they came and they were horrible, but

639
00:33:47,925 --> 00:33:51,325
Speaker 3: then they did go, and the release, like I felt

640
00:33:51,365 --> 00:33:53,845
Speaker 3: quite good after them, because all of this energy is

641
00:33:53,885 --> 00:33:57,605
Speaker 3: somehow it's gone for a second and you go into

642
00:33:57,605 --> 00:34:00,925
Speaker 3: this really horrible, scary place, but then there's this there's

643
00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:03,685
Speaker 3: such relief after it's passed.

644
00:34:04,245 --> 00:34:07,765
Speaker 2: People who haven't experienced panic attacks are always very shocked

645
00:34:07,765 --> 00:34:11,405
Speaker 2: at how physical they are. You know, people frequently think

646
00:34:11,685 --> 00:34:14,365
Speaker 2: they're having a heart attack, that there's something very serious happening,

647
00:34:14,365 --> 00:34:18,565
Speaker 2: and seeing somebody out of context that happening to them

648
00:34:18,645 --> 00:34:21,565
Speaker 2: is very scary. When we were just talking before about

649
00:34:21,605 --> 00:34:23,245
Speaker 2: the moment you look back on and you go, well,

650
00:34:23,245 --> 00:34:25,485
Speaker 2: that was a turn, and that was a turn. So

651
00:34:26,445 --> 00:34:29,485
Speaker 2: that sort of culmination of Mcloud's and sort of clashing

652
00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:32,685
Speaker 2: into this big breakup and also clashing into a mental

653
00:34:32,765 --> 00:34:35,925
Speaker 2: health crisis, I imagine that is kind of the start

654
00:34:35,965 --> 00:34:37,485
Speaker 2: of another chapter, right.

655
00:34:38,405 --> 00:34:41,925
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, definitely, it was. Well, it was the big

656
00:34:42,045 --> 00:34:44,325
Speaker 3: end of a life that I thought I was going

657
00:34:44,405 --> 00:34:46,485
Speaker 3: to have and then it was. It opened up a

658
00:34:46,565 --> 00:34:50,885
Speaker 3: different kind of world, this anxiety world that I then

659
00:34:51,005 --> 00:34:54,525
Speaker 3: had to contend with. I mean, it did sort of

660
00:34:54,605 --> 00:34:58,445
Speaker 3: pass down there. They became less frequent, especially after the

661
00:34:58,485 --> 00:35:03,485
Speaker 3: wedding was kind of done and dusted. But other things

662
00:35:03,565 --> 00:35:08,205
Speaker 3: can trigger them these days, and so more recently, you know,

663
00:35:08,445 --> 00:35:10,925
Speaker 3: financial stress is kind of the thing.

664
00:35:11,645 --> 00:35:14,085
Speaker 2: It's interesting because a lot of the women who listen

665
00:35:14,165 --> 00:35:18,205
Speaker 2: to this show, you know, their stories won't involve Hollywood

666
00:35:18,485 --> 00:35:21,325
Speaker 2: stars and you know, being on the beach in their

667
00:35:21,405 --> 00:35:26,045
Speaker 2: knickers and shooting weddings, but the themes are similar, right,

668
00:35:26,165 --> 00:35:29,085
Speaker 2: like the things that can derail your life. There's confidence,

669
00:35:29,085 --> 00:35:32,805
Speaker 2: there's mental health, there's romantic breakdowns, there's all these things.

670
00:35:32,845 --> 00:35:35,805
Speaker 2: It is actually very relatable because then you're there going okay,

671
00:35:35,965 --> 00:35:38,805
Speaker 2: well now what and then you become a single mom.

672
00:35:38,845 --> 00:35:42,085
Speaker 4: Now yeah, look, so it all happens for a reason,

673
00:35:42,205 --> 00:35:46,405
Speaker 4: right mindsight, like, I'm so glad that he left, because

674
00:35:47,285 --> 00:35:50,485
Speaker 4: I wouldn't have Mads if you know, I had stayed

675
00:35:50,525 --> 00:35:52,205
Speaker 4: in that relationship, if I had.

676
00:35:52,125 --> 00:35:55,485
Speaker 3: Gone to America, like, oh god, I just wouldn't want

677
00:35:55,485 --> 00:35:56,445
Speaker 3: to be in America anyway.

678
00:35:56,605 --> 00:35:59,045
Speaker 2: Well, no, not at the moment for sure. So your

679
00:35:59,125 --> 00:36:02,765
Speaker 2: life as single mom, as Mads as mom, how has

680
00:36:02,845 --> 00:36:06,685
Speaker 2: that And obviously did you consciously leave acting behind or

681
00:36:06,725 --> 00:36:08,445
Speaker 2: did it leave you a little bit or was that

682
00:36:08,445 --> 00:36:11,765
Speaker 2: a very conscious decision that like, okay, it's time to

683
00:36:11,965 --> 00:36:13,925
Speaker 2: change how things are going.

684
00:36:14,325 --> 00:36:17,805
Speaker 3: Yeah, look, I definitely decided to put my hand down.

685
00:36:17,845 --> 00:36:21,005
Speaker 3: So Madigan was born on my thirty seventh birthday, and

686
00:36:21,245 --> 00:36:23,085
Speaker 3: I went down and I think he was only three

687
00:36:23,085 --> 00:36:25,525
Speaker 3: months old. I did a little stint on city homicide,

688
00:36:25,885 --> 00:36:27,685
Speaker 3: which was fine. It was only a few days though,

689
00:36:27,725 --> 00:36:30,445
Speaker 3: it was just a little guesty. That was okay. But

690
00:36:30,485 --> 00:36:33,605
Speaker 3: then when he was around two, I went and did

691
00:36:33,645 --> 00:36:36,845
Speaker 3: neighbors and I did neighbors for about three months and

692
00:36:37,405 --> 00:36:40,365
Speaker 3: the set days. Like when you're working on a show,

693
00:36:40,525 --> 00:36:43,125
Speaker 3: any show, sometimes you can be there twelve fourteen hours

694
00:36:43,165 --> 00:36:45,765
Speaker 3: a day. And that's how it was when I was

695
00:36:45,765 --> 00:36:48,645
Speaker 3: on Neighbors. You know, you work for a really they

696
00:36:48,885 --> 00:36:51,525
Speaker 3: crushed their scenes. You did all your scenes kind of

697
00:36:51,565 --> 00:36:53,565
Speaker 3: in one day, and then they'd be rehearsals and whatnot.

698
00:36:53,605 --> 00:36:55,925
Speaker 3: So even though I was there for three months, some weeks,

699
00:36:55,965 --> 00:36:57,885
Speaker 3: I was only maybe working the one day, but in

700
00:36:57,925 --> 00:37:01,005
Speaker 3: that day, I was away for the entire day. I'd

701
00:37:01,085 --> 00:37:02,925
Speaker 3: leave in the dark, I'd be home in the dark,

702
00:37:03,525 --> 00:37:08,925
Speaker 3: and Madigan just didn't understand. And I just after that gig,

703
00:37:09,085 --> 00:37:13,485
Speaker 3: I just thought, you know, I'm the age that I am.

704
00:37:13,165 --> 00:37:16,405
Speaker 3: I don't have a partner, the chances of me having

705
00:37:16,485 --> 00:37:19,405
Speaker 3: another baby are very very slim. I don't want to

706
00:37:19,405 --> 00:37:22,645
Speaker 3: miss a moment. It was then that I sort of

707
00:37:22,685 --> 00:37:25,645
Speaker 3: said to my agents that I don't really think this

708
00:37:25,805 --> 00:37:27,645
Speaker 3: is for me at the moment. I really just want

709
00:37:27,685 --> 00:37:30,285
Speaker 3: to enjoy this with my little boy. I was in

710
00:37:30,365 --> 00:37:34,125
Speaker 3: Cough's Tarbots, so you know, I'm removed from the acting

711
00:37:34,165 --> 00:37:38,005
Speaker 3: world and all of that anyway, So I just said, no,

712
00:37:38,125 --> 00:37:40,685
Speaker 3: let's just leave it for now.

713
00:37:42,765 --> 00:37:44,645
Speaker 2: After this short break, I'm going to be back with

714
00:37:44,685 --> 00:37:47,805
Speaker 2: Simone Jade McKinnon to hear about how things came full

715
00:37:47,885 --> 00:37:51,525
Speaker 2: circle for Simone, but not quite in the way she'd planned.

716
00:37:57,045 --> 00:37:59,005
Speaker 2: And this brings us back to the little house that

717
00:37:59,045 --> 00:38:02,245
Speaker 2: you bought, that you told us about. So after McCloud's

718
00:38:02,245 --> 00:38:04,125
Speaker 2: you bought a house back in Coff. She moved back

719
00:38:04,165 --> 00:38:07,405
Speaker 2: to be near your family. And then after a few

720
00:38:07,445 --> 00:38:11,285
Speaker 2: years there and I imagine circumstances changed. We move back

721
00:38:11,285 --> 00:38:11,845
Speaker 2: to the paddock.

722
00:38:13,765 --> 00:38:16,845
Speaker 3: We move, yeah, we get the caravan. We set off

723
00:38:16,845 --> 00:38:19,845
Speaker 3: on our lap around Australia. But my dad, who has

724
00:38:19,885 --> 00:38:23,405
Speaker 3: been battling cancer since two thousand and seven, not battling

725
00:38:23,485 --> 00:38:26,285
Speaker 3: the whole time, sorry, living with cancer. Yeah, he got

726
00:38:26,285 --> 00:38:28,245
Speaker 3: really sick. So I'd only been on the road for

727
00:38:28,285 --> 00:38:31,805
Speaker 3: six months. Here we are in the caravan, we're in

728
00:38:31,845 --> 00:38:35,005
Speaker 3: cans and he wants me to come back, and I'm like, oh, okay,

729
00:38:35,045 --> 00:38:37,485
Speaker 3: it's a long drive, but I'd rather come back now,

730
00:38:38,005 --> 00:38:40,925
Speaker 3: you know, than if we're over in wa. You know,

731
00:38:41,005 --> 00:38:43,965
Speaker 3: it's a lot bigger hall to get home. So I

732
00:38:44,005 --> 00:38:46,205
Speaker 3: was like, this is perfect. We'll come home for Christmas anyway.

733
00:38:46,885 --> 00:38:48,965
Speaker 3: Set up in the paddock, the paddock that I used

734
00:38:48,965 --> 00:38:52,165
Speaker 3: to ride my horses in out of Bonvog was five acres.

735
00:38:52,165 --> 00:38:54,925
Speaker 3: It's nothing big, it's nothing grand. And so there I

736
00:38:55,045 --> 00:38:57,965
Speaker 3: was in the caravan in the paddock and he asked

737
00:38:58,005 --> 00:39:01,445
Speaker 3: me to subdivide the land for him. He's like, I'd

738
00:39:01,565 --> 00:39:04,405
Speaker 3: rather subdivide it now. The councilor had just given approval.

739
00:39:04,445 --> 00:39:07,525
Speaker 3: I'd rather subdivide it now and have you kids get

740
00:39:07,565 --> 00:39:10,845
Speaker 3: a little bit of your inheritance now. That'll help you

741
00:39:10,885 --> 00:39:14,245
Speaker 3: all out. And so I was like, okay, sure, how

742
00:39:14,285 --> 00:39:17,765
Speaker 3: long would this possibly take a few months? I thought?

743
00:39:18,485 --> 00:39:22,405
Speaker 3: Two years later, still in the paddock, full time in

744
00:39:22,445 --> 00:39:24,685
Speaker 3: the caravan, not moving and it's.

745
00:39:24,525 --> 00:39:27,245
Speaker 2: Like, oh, what are you living on at this point, Like,

746
00:39:27,285 --> 00:39:30,965
Speaker 2: what's work like for you at this time? Work? Yeah?

747
00:39:31,005 --> 00:39:31,645
Speaker 2: Were you working?

748
00:39:32,085 --> 00:39:34,805
Speaker 3: No? So I came back. I was his care for

749
00:39:34,845 --> 00:39:37,765
Speaker 3: a while, yes, because he was so sick. So I

750
00:39:37,845 --> 00:39:42,045
Speaker 3: did get some money from that. You know, I'd sold

751
00:39:42,045 --> 00:39:44,085
Speaker 3: the house, so I had money in the bank, so

752
00:39:44,125 --> 00:39:47,005
Speaker 3: I wasn't allowed I sent a link or anything like that.

753
00:39:47,445 --> 00:39:48,685
Speaker 2: Yeah because you had savings.

754
00:39:48,765 --> 00:39:50,765
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because I had my savings. So that was

755
00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:52,765
Speaker 3: a choice I decided. I knew that I was going

756
00:39:52,805 --> 00:39:55,125
Speaker 3: to spend money to do this lap, but it was

757
00:39:55,205 --> 00:39:57,645
Speaker 3: something I was happy to do because it was the

758
00:39:57,645 --> 00:39:59,485
Speaker 3: bucket list dream that I wanted.

759
00:39:59,925 --> 00:40:01,645
Speaker 2: Was the six months that you did get to do?

760
00:40:01,805 --> 00:40:02,525
Speaker 2: Was it the dream?

761
00:40:03,005 --> 00:40:05,405
Speaker 3: It was part of the dream Queensland.

762
00:40:05,525 --> 00:40:07,965
Speaker 2: So but was it wonderful being on the road like that?

763
00:40:08,085 --> 00:40:10,605
Speaker 3: To you a math Oh my god, it was the best.

764
00:40:10,925 --> 00:40:12,645
Speaker 3: It was the best. It was hard because I was

765
00:40:12,685 --> 00:40:15,645
Speaker 3: homeschooling him, like kindergarten. You think that KINDI would be

766
00:40:15,685 --> 00:40:20,365
Speaker 3: the easiest, but it's not. Kindergarten is the base of

767
00:40:20,445 --> 00:40:23,165
Speaker 3: all their schooling and he had a speech delay, so

768
00:40:24,005 --> 00:40:26,245
Speaker 3: it was really hard. That was the worst part of it.

769
00:40:26,285 --> 00:40:29,485
Speaker 3: Like I loved doing it all myself. I took him

770
00:40:29,485 --> 00:40:32,525
Speaker 3: to the Tip Wow Tip of New South I was.

771
00:40:32,565 --> 00:40:35,365
Speaker 3: I dragged a twenty four foot caravan by myself that

772
00:40:35,405 --> 00:40:35,805
Speaker 3: whole way.

773
00:40:36,045 --> 00:40:38,645
Speaker 2: Croc country, red dirt.

774
00:40:39,525 --> 00:40:42,285
Speaker 3: Dirt like we loved it. Madigan loved it. The dogs

775
00:40:42,325 --> 00:40:44,805
Speaker 3: loved it. We didn't love the crocodiles because that made

776
00:40:44,805 --> 00:40:49,405
Speaker 3: it hard. But just being on the road and you know,

777
00:40:49,685 --> 00:40:52,485
Speaker 3: the physical work, I didn't mind at all. I loved driving,

778
00:40:52,605 --> 00:40:54,965
Speaker 3: so that wasn't a problem. And yeah, we were just

779
00:40:55,085 --> 00:40:58,685
Speaker 3: we were absolutely living our best life while we were

780
00:40:58,725 --> 00:41:00,765
Speaker 3: on the road. I just think I was born to

781
00:41:00,845 --> 00:41:01,285
Speaker 3: do it.

782
00:41:01,365 --> 00:41:03,965
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know, there's plenty of time. We'll get

783
00:41:03,965 --> 00:41:07,005
Speaker 2: to that. So then you come home, you're looking after

784
00:41:07,045 --> 00:41:10,485
Speaker 2: your dad ad Mads and living on the proper, and

785
00:41:10,525 --> 00:41:11,285
Speaker 2: then what happened.

786
00:41:11,285 --> 00:41:14,245
Speaker 3: So then Poppy pulls the rug out from under my

787
00:41:14,285 --> 00:41:16,445
Speaker 3: feet a little bit and he goes, well, so I'm

788
00:41:16,445 --> 00:41:19,885
Speaker 3: about to sell the land for him and me and

789
00:41:20,005 --> 00:41:23,645
Speaker 3: Mad's he's feeling better, and I'm like, perfect, we're going again.

790
00:41:24,405 --> 00:41:27,365
Speaker 3: And then Poppy goes, actually, I'm not going to sell

791
00:41:27,405 --> 00:41:28,805
Speaker 3: it to anyone. You're going to have to take it.

792
00:41:29,285 --> 00:41:33,245
Speaker 3: I don't want it, no offense, but I don't really

793
00:41:33,245 --> 00:41:35,725
Speaker 3: want to live next door to my dad. I mean,

794
00:41:35,725 --> 00:41:37,405
Speaker 3: I got out of Coff's Harbor when I was sixteen

795
00:41:37,485 --> 00:41:39,565
Speaker 3: for a reason. I didn't want to be here. It

796
00:41:39,645 --> 00:41:41,485
Speaker 3: was good while Madigan was little, but you know, I

797
00:41:41,525 --> 00:41:46,605
Speaker 3: wanted out anyway. He's a stubborn I get the stubbornness

798
00:41:46,605 --> 00:41:48,525
Speaker 3: from him. From him or and once he put his

799
00:41:48,565 --> 00:41:51,045
Speaker 3: foot down, I truly believed him that he wasn't going

800
00:41:51,125 --> 00:41:53,725
Speaker 3: to he wasn't going to sell it to anybody else.

801
00:41:53,765 --> 00:41:55,565
Speaker 3: But may so I'll like, okay, well I've got the

802
00:41:55,805 --> 00:41:58,245
Speaker 3: cash I've got a bit of cash from the house. Yeap,

803
00:41:58,285 --> 00:42:00,645
Speaker 3: from the house, I'll pay up my brother and sister

804
00:42:00,885 --> 00:42:04,165
Speaker 3: and I'll use the land. I'll build a shed on

805
00:42:04,205 --> 00:42:06,725
Speaker 3: it and I'll use it as my base. That sounds

806
00:42:06,765 --> 00:42:07,485
Speaker 3: like a great plan.

807
00:42:07,685 --> 00:42:10,165
Speaker 2: So the land you're living on now is yours.

808
00:42:10,245 --> 00:42:12,485
Speaker 3: It is actually mine. Yes, it's two and a half

809
00:42:12,525 --> 00:42:15,045
Speaker 3: acres and it is the paddic that we used to

810
00:42:15,045 --> 00:42:16,605
Speaker 3: write our in.

811
00:42:17,085 --> 00:42:20,285
Speaker 2: That's so interesting because I mean, I know you were

812
00:42:20,325 --> 00:42:23,445
Speaker 2: saying that isn't what you wanted, but what a story

813
00:42:23,485 --> 00:42:27,245
Speaker 2: to come back there to raise your boy after all

814
00:42:27,325 --> 00:42:33,365
Speaker 2: these after Hawaii and Gaula and Sydney and Japan. Yeah,

815
00:42:33,365 --> 00:42:33,925
Speaker 2: it's wild.

816
00:42:34,565 --> 00:42:36,285
Speaker 3: I know the place that I couldn't wait to get

817
00:42:36,325 --> 00:42:37,885
Speaker 3: out of though I'm stuck in now.

818
00:42:39,125 --> 00:42:42,205
Speaker 2: Is there something beautiful about it or not? Or do

819
00:42:42,205 --> 00:42:44,685
Speaker 2: you have to really reach for the something beautiful about it?

820
00:42:44,685 --> 00:42:47,725
Speaker 3: You have to reach for the same I think you

821
00:42:47,765 --> 00:42:50,725
Speaker 3: know the reason of all the stress and the mental

822
00:42:50,765 --> 00:42:54,485
Speaker 3: issues was because I was forced into this situation. I

823
00:42:54,485 --> 00:42:57,725
Speaker 3: would have decided it for myself, that's one thing, and

824
00:42:57,765 --> 00:42:59,725
Speaker 3: then you live with your decision. But I kind of

825
00:42:59,765 --> 00:43:03,205
Speaker 3: felt like I was forced into it, and that's the

826
00:43:03,285 --> 00:43:05,725
Speaker 3: thing that I've battled with because it's not a bad

827
00:43:05,725 --> 00:43:09,325
Speaker 3: thing to be forced into. But it has changed change

828
00:43:09,605 --> 00:43:13,125
Speaker 3: my life because the I haven't been able to continue

829
00:43:13,245 --> 00:43:15,525
Speaker 3: the lap and live out my dream. I don't have

830
00:43:15,565 --> 00:43:17,325
Speaker 3: the cash to do it anymore either.

831
00:43:17,325 --> 00:43:19,285
Speaker 2: Because you've spent it on the land.

832
00:43:19,445 --> 00:43:22,445
Speaker 3: Well, spend it on the land and then anything else

833
00:43:22,445 --> 00:43:24,045
Speaker 3: has now gone into this small business.

834
00:43:24,125 --> 00:43:27,765
Speaker 2: So so you've started a small business. It's clothing, and

835
00:43:28,365 --> 00:43:29,965
Speaker 2: I have to say it's very you. I was looking

836
00:43:30,045 --> 00:43:33,285
Speaker 2: at the website earlier on is that the big dream?

837
00:43:33,525 --> 00:43:37,045
Speaker 2: Like is that where you see yourself going no, you're

838
00:43:37,085 --> 00:43:38,045
Speaker 2: shaking your head another.

839
00:43:39,525 --> 00:43:40,925
Speaker 3: I honestly did it.

840
00:43:41,005 --> 00:43:44,565
Speaker 2: So it's called Wandering Ossie. By the way, everybody Wandering

841
00:43:44,565 --> 00:43:45,405
Speaker 2: Ossy thank you.

842
00:43:45,365 --> 00:43:47,605
Speaker 3: For the shout out. Yes, Wandering Ozzy. Well, I went

843
00:43:47,645 --> 00:43:49,925
Speaker 3: under the name Wandering Ossy when I first sold up

844
00:43:49,925 --> 00:43:51,845
Speaker 3: because I was like, oh, this is cool. Maybe I can,

845
00:43:52,045 --> 00:43:54,245
Speaker 3: you know, do a little YouTube channel. I did start one,

846
00:43:54,365 --> 00:43:57,725
Speaker 3: and you know, I'll document my travels. Maybe there's a

847
00:43:57,725 --> 00:43:59,725
Speaker 3: way I can make some money as I go. Kind

848
00:43:59,725 --> 00:44:02,645
Speaker 3: of That's what I thought back in twenty sixteen, and

849
00:44:02,685 --> 00:44:05,165
Speaker 3: then twenty nineteen I did take off again and I

850
00:44:05,205 --> 00:44:06,485
Speaker 3: was working as a jill aru.

851
00:44:06,725 --> 00:44:10,285
Speaker 2: Yeh, which this blows my mind because I'm just imagining

852
00:44:10,325 --> 00:44:13,965
Speaker 2: people going our Jillarue is Stevie from McCloud's daughter.

853
00:44:14,445 --> 00:44:16,885
Speaker 3: And it all happened by chance, Like my whole life

854
00:44:17,125 --> 00:44:20,765
Speaker 3: is just this chance after chance that I've just been

855
00:44:20,885 --> 00:44:25,085
Speaker 3: really lucky and really fortunate that they've come up. And

856
00:44:25,125 --> 00:44:28,525
Speaker 3: then also I've had the balls to just go yeah,

857
00:44:27,925 --> 00:44:32,325
Speaker 3: why not. And this family that lived up at Rockhampton.

858
00:44:32,365 --> 00:44:34,685
Speaker 3: I did a charity event in Tamworth with riding these

859
00:44:34,765 --> 00:44:37,605
Speaker 3: cutting horses, which is amazing. And then they said to me,

860
00:44:38,685 --> 00:44:40,765
Speaker 3: why don't you come up. This is twenty nineteen. Why

861
00:44:40,805 --> 00:44:43,085
Speaker 3: don't you come up and work at our station and

862
00:44:43,125 --> 00:44:45,525
Speaker 3: we'll teach you to do what you used to pretend

863
00:44:45,525 --> 00:44:47,725
Speaker 3: to do on Mcloud's daughters. We'll teach you for real.

864
00:44:48,765 --> 00:44:52,765
Speaker 3: And I was like sure. Like I didn't get paid,

865
00:44:52,845 --> 00:44:55,925
Speaker 3: so it was just food and accommodation. We're all covered,

866
00:44:56,525 --> 00:44:58,525
Speaker 3: so it was just for the experience, and I was

867
00:44:58,565 --> 00:45:01,525
Speaker 3: there for only three months. Unfortunately, the drought hit and

868
00:45:01,605 --> 00:45:03,885
Speaker 3: it was a really bad time for the family, so

869
00:45:04,365 --> 00:45:06,605
Speaker 3: I couldn't stay as long as I had planned to stay.

870
00:45:07,165 --> 00:45:10,845
Speaker 3: But from there I went up in far North Queensland,

871
00:45:10,885 --> 00:45:14,325
Speaker 3: and I kind of went, oh, there's enough interest in

872
00:45:14,405 --> 00:45:18,925
Speaker 3: me doing this that I think I could do both

873
00:45:18,965 --> 00:45:22,565
Speaker 3: the lap and the jillarooing at the same time document

874
00:45:22,685 --> 00:45:25,405
Speaker 3: it as well. I just want a property, hop my

875
00:45:25,445 --> 00:45:29,925
Speaker 3: way around and get paid like a jillarou is really

876
00:45:30,005 --> 00:45:33,045
Speaker 3: low wage, especially starting from the bottom. I'm sure the

877
00:45:33,285 --> 00:45:35,845
Speaker 3: good station hands in all of those they'd probably get

878
00:45:35,885 --> 00:45:38,405
Speaker 3: great money, but when you're the shit kicker as I was,

879
00:45:39,765 --> 00:45:42,765
Speaker 3: it's really basic money. But I didn't care. I was like,

880
00:45:43,085 --> 00:45:45,525
Speaker 3: that could be an amazing thing for me. But then

881
00:45:45,645 --> 00:45:48,565
Speaker 3: the pandemic hit twenty nineteen, everything was great. I had

882
00:45:48,565 --> 00:45:52,045
Speaker 3: some station work lined up for early twenty twenty pandemic

883
00:45:52,965 --> 00:45:54,725
Speaker 3: You're not going north and I had a station in

884
00:45:54,805 --> 00:45:58,845
Speaker 3: Tazzi our second wave hit Victoria not going that way,

885
00:45:59,325 --> 00:46:01,925
Speaker 3: and then I was like, oh, what am I going

886
00:46:02,005 --> 00:46:04,845
Speaker 3: to do? I need to do something. I'm stuck here.

887
00:46:04,885 --> 00:46:07,045
Speaker 3: I've got the shed in the caravan, but what am

888
00:46:07,085 --> 00:46:09,885
Speaker 3: I going to do? And then with the wandering title,

889
00:46:09,965 --> 00:46:12,805
Speaker 3: I just thought, you know, I've always sown. I've made

890
00:46:12,845 --> 00:46:15,525
Speaker 3: I made Logi dresses when I was back doing the Logis.

891
00:46:16,125 --> 00:46:18,605
Speaker 3: I've always been creative in that way, and so I thought, well,

892
00:46:18,605 --> 00:46:21,805
Speaker 3: maybe I can just do something along those lines while

893
00:46:21,805 --> 00:46:24,525
Speaker 3: I'm stuck here. And I knew that there'd be McLeod's

894
00:46:24,565 --> 00:46:27,565
Speaker 3: fans out there. I did. My logo was a cowgirl,

895
00:46:27,685 --> 00:46:30,165
Speaker 3: kind of a gypsy cowgirl. I had my dreadlocks, so

896
00:46:30,205 --> 00:46:32,805
Speaker 3: it was like a cow girl and a gypsy collide.

897
00:46:33,285 --> 00:46:35,965
Speaker 3: And I knew that they would get a kick out

898
00:46:36,005 --> 00:46:39,045
Speaker 3: of that, and they did. You know. The hoodies and

899
00:46:39,085 --> 00:46:41,565
Speaker 3: T shirts went quite quickly, and then the pandemic just

900
00:46:41,725 --> 00:46:43,405
Speaker 3: kept going. So I was like, Okay, well I'll do

901
00:46:43,485 --> 00:46:48,245
Speaker 3: something else, and here we are, like what four years later,

902
00:46:48,325 --> 00:46:50,005
Speaker 3: and I'm still going with it.

903
00:46:50,485 --> 00:46:53,245
Speaker 2: Can I ask you about the pressure of being a

904
00:46:53,245 --> 00:46:56,565
Speaker 2: single mom? And I know that actually looking at Wondering Hossie,

905
00:46:56,685 --> 00:46:58,925
Speaker 2: you actually give a little bit of money from all

906
00:46:59,005 --> 00:47:02,165
Speaker 2: your sales to a single mom's organization, right, so you're

907
00:47:02,205 --> 00:47:06,805
Speaker 2: really passionate about supporting single moms. Yeah, Can you explain

908
00:47:06,885 --> 00:47:09,165
Speaker 2: a little bit about the pressure of how it feels

909
00:47:09,165 --> 00:47:12,125
Speaker 2: to be the sort of single point of failure for

910
00:47:12,165 --> 00:47:14,285
Speaker 2: your family? And when I say single point of failure,

911
00:47:14,285 --> 00:47:17,205
Speaker 2: that sounds wrong. I'm not suggesting in any way your failure,

912
00:47:17,245 --> 00:47:19,885
Speaker 2: but the pressure of knowing if I don't do it,

913
00:47:19,885 --> 00:47:22,205
Speaker 2: it's not going to happen. If I don't put food

914
00:47:22,245 --> 00:47:23,965
Speaker 2: on the table, it's not going to be there, if

915
00:47:24,045 --> 00:47:27,765
Speaker 2: I don't secure things, you know, for maths like that

916
00:47:27,965 --> 00:47:32,565
Speaker 2: is a pressure that is a lot to live with, right, Yes.

917
00:47:32,605 --> 00:47:35,765
Speaker 3: It certainly is. Like any single parent, male or female,

918
00:47:35,845 --> 00:47:38,365
Speaker 3: you know, it's it's a really it's a tough gig.

919
00:47:38,765 --> 00:47:41,005
Speaker 3: But I always say that, you know, with all the

920
00:47:41,085 --> 00:47:45,285
Speaker 3: stress and the money and all of that, you also

921
00:47:45,325 --> 00:47:49,205
Speaker 3: get double the love, double the hugs, double the everything.

922
00:47:49,285 --> 00:47:54,165
Speaker 3: So for me, it's been a really wonderful ride. As

923
00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:58,685
Speaker 3: stressful as it has been, I know I'm fortunate though too,

924
00:47:58,885 --> 00:48:01,005
Speaker 3: Like I do have a block of land here, I've

925
00:48:01,045 --> 00:48:03,125
Speaker 3: got a caravan and I've got a shed, and that's

926
00:48:03,165 --> 00:48:06,925
Speaker 3: a lot more than many many other single mums or

927
00:48:07,045 --> 00:48:10,325
Speaker 3: dads have, Especially now now it's horrible.

928
00:48:10,765 --> 00:48:13,525
Speaker 2: What have you learned about how to? I mean, maybe

929
00:48:13,525 --> 00:48:15,205
Speaker 2: you didn't have to learn because, as you said at

930
00:48:15,205 --> 00:48:18,445
Speaker 2: the beginning, you're not a very materialistic person, but the

931
00:48:18,485 --> 00:48:21,005
Speaker 2: logistics of living between a sad and a caravan, Like,

932
00:48:21,045 --> 00:48:23,325
Speaker 2: what have you learned? It's easy to go without? Like,

933
00:48:23,365 --> 00:48:25,605
Speaker 2: what's your sort of philosophy? On what you actually need,

934
00:48:25,685 --> 00:48:28,365
Speaker 2: you guys, to be the happy family unit that you

935
00:48:28,485 --> 00:48:30,285
Speaker 2: clearly are very tight.

936
00:48:31,005 --> 00:48:35,045
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, look we don't have there's no heating or

937
00:48:35,085 --> 00:48:37,765
Speaker 3: cooling in this shed. This is a big black shed too.

938
00:48:37,845 --> 00:48:43,405
Speaker 3: So summertime, this thing is hot. Wintertime it's freezing. It's

939
00:48:43,405 --> 00:48:46,805
Speaker 3: cement flows, so you know, we just go without. You

940
00:48:46,845 --> 00:48:50,125
Speaker 3: put the fans on when it's hot, and then wintertime

941
00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:52,405
Speaker 3: we rug up like I've always got I mean, my

942
00:48:52,445 --> 00:48:54,805
Speaker 3: hair's growing out at the moment too, so that's another

943
00:48:54,845 --> 00:48:56,845
Speaker 3: reason for the bandanna, but always got a beanie on

944
00:48:57,565 --> 00:48:59,445
Speaker 3: and just you just got to lay out, so we

945
00:48:59,565 --> 00:49:02,485
Speaker 3: go without things like that. You know that money can

946
00:49:02,525 --> 00:49:06,765
Speaker 3: go towards an adventure of some sort Madigan, you know,

947
00:49:06,805 --> 00:49:09,245
Speaker 3: I want him to grow up thinking that kind of thing.

948
00:49:09,685 --> 00:49:12,045
Speaker 3: And he like he laughs at the fact that he's

949
00:49:12,045 --> 00:49:15,405
Speaker 3: a kmart kid. That's what you know, it's I think

950
00:49:15,405 --> 00:49:19,165
Speaker 3: it's cute, like of course, like he's he understands already.

951
00:49:19,325 --> 00:49:21,165
Speaker 3: I mean, he's got a PlayStation, so you know, there

952
00:49:21,205 --> 00:49:24,685
Speaker 3: are some things that I definitely want him to, you know,

953
00:49:24,765 --> 00:49:28,245
Speaker 3: not feel like he's getting left behind. But he also

954
00:49:28,405 --> 00:49:31,445
Speaker 3: knows that you don't need all that. He loves the shed.

955
00:49:31,485 --> 00:49:32,605
Speaker 3: He thinks the shed's great.

956
00:49:32,805 --> 00:49:35,005
Speaker 2: It actually looks really good from what I can see.

957
00:49:36,365 --> 00:49:37,485
Speaker 3: I'm showing you a good part.

958
00:49:39,245 --> 00:49:41,445
Speaker 2: I've got a corrugated roof on my house too, so

959
00:49:41,525 --> 00:49:44,805
Speaker 2: I know about the noise, but you're doing very well

960
00:49:44,805 --> 00:49:48,325
Speaker 2: with it. Let's just get to the Summit, because I

961
00:49:48,365 --> 00:49:50,365
Speaker 2: heard when you were going on that show. So anyone

962
00:49:50,365 --> 00:49:52,885
Speaker 2: who hasn't watched The Summit, right, there are some shows

963
00:49:52,885 --> 00:49:55,165
Speaker 2: that I love to watch with my kids. Family TV

964
00:49:55,365 --> 00:49:57,405
Speaker 2: is a thing, right. I used to turn my nose

965
00:49:57,485 --> 00:50:00,605
Speaker 2: up at those kind of shows, but now there's nothing

966
00:50:00,605 --> 00:50:02,005
Speaker 2: I love more than being on the couch and we

967
00:50:02,045 --> 00:50:04,845
Speaker 2: watch Survivor and we watch both seasons at the Summit,

968
00:50:05,325 --> 00:50:06,805
Speaker 2: and you were on it.

969
00:50:07,005 --> 00:50:12,565
Speaker 3: The physical pain has been the lentless from listers to

970
00:50:12,965 --> 00:50:14,205
Speaker 3: sore shoulder.

971
00:50:16,125 --> 00:50:18,805
Speaker 5: And as much as my heart is telling me to

972
00:50:18,885 --> 00:50:23,685
Speaker 5: keep going, where I am really struggling to catch my breath,

973
00:50:24,085 --> 00:50:26,725
Speaker 5: like I don't know if there's a panic attack that

974
00:50:26,805 --> 00:50:27,885
Speaker 5: I'm feeling coming on.

975
00:50:30,405 --> 00:50:35,525
Speaker 2: I can see your hands shaking. I loved you from

976
00:50:35,565 --> 00:50:37,845
Speaker 2: the minute you came on because obviously I know who

977
00:50:37,885 --> 00:50:40,005
Speaker 2: you are. Of course I do. I'm very familiar with

978
00:50:40,605 --> 00:50:42,645
Speaker 2: mcclouds and all the culture of the tea. I used

979
00:50:42,645 --> 00:50:44,365
Speaker 2: to work at TV week at one time, and you

980
00:50:44,405 --> 00:50:47,125
Speaker 2: were a big deal there, I can tell you. So

981
00:50:47,205 --> 00:50:49,125
Speaker 2: obviously I knew you were, but there was something very

982
00:50:49,205 --> 00:50:52,725
Speaker 2: relatable to me about you on that show. You were

983
00:50:52,845 --> 00:50:55,765
Speaker 2: very honest about your circumstances. You were very clear about

984
00:50:55,765 --> 00:50:58,805
Speaker 2: the fact, I'm here to make some money for my family.

985
00:50:59,205 --> 00:51:02,445
Speaker 2: My dream is to build a shared house on your property.

986
00:51:02,645 --> 00:51:07,205
Speaker 2: You seemed overwhelmed at the beginning. You seemed insecure at

987
00:51:07,245 --> 00:51:08,885
Speaker 2: the beginning. You were like, what am I doing here?

988
00:51:08,925 --> 00:51:10,965
Speaker 2: Who are all these big personalities? I don't even know?

989
00:51:11,485 --> 00:51:15,725
Speaker 2: And yet you were spoiler friends, one of the last three,

990
00:51:16,125 --> 00:51:18,525
Speaker 2: and you walked away with some money, not as much as,

991
00:51:18,565 --> 00:51:21,525
Speaker 2: in my opinion, you should have walked away with. But

992
00:51:22,365 --> 00:51:23,605
Speaker 2: you get paid to go on it.

993
00:51:23,645 --> 00:51:28,765
Speaker 3: Right, No, as a show like that, some contestants might

994
00:51:28,805 --> 00:51:32,685
Speaker 3: get paid, but on a reality show like that, you

995
00:51:32,725 --> 00:51:33,405
Speaker 3: don't get paid.

996
00:51:33,645 --> 00:51:36,245
Speaker 2: So the prize money is the reward and that's it, right, Okay,

997
00:51:36,365 --> 00:51:38,285
Speaker 2: and obviously expensive.

998
00:51:38,325 --> 00:51:42,405
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but definitely people can get paid for in

999
00:51:42,645 --> 00:51:45,205
Speaker 3: general terms. No, a show like that, you go on there,

1000
00:51:45,365 --> 00:51:48,325
Speaker 3: I mean it's two weeks, fifteen days of your life,

1001
00:51:48,405 --> 00:51:50,125
Speaker 3: so you know it's a good gamble.

1002
00:51:50,525 --> 00:51:51,965
Speaker 2: Was that experience terrifying?

1003
00:51:52,485 --> 00:51:54,805
Speaker 3: Well, look, they asked me, and then I said, yes, Okay,

1004
00:51:54,885 --> 00:51:57,325
Speaker 3: let's do it. But then I went back and rewatched

1005
00:51:57,365 --> 00:52:00,565
Speaker 3: season one again as an actual contestant, and I was like,

1006
00:52:00,685 --> 00:52:04,725
Speaker 3: oh shit, that actually looks a lot harder. And it

1007
00:52:04,765 --> 00:52:07,685
Speaker 3: was really close to the shooting date, and so there

1008
00:52:07,725 --> 00:52:11,085
Speaker 3: was no time. I'd lost on my hair earlier that year,

1009
00:52:11,485 --> 00:52:14,965
Speaker 3: so I hadn't been to the gym, I was pretty unfit,

1010
00:52:15,845 --> 00:52:19,085
Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, it all kind of came

1011
00:52:19,365 --> 00:52:21,965
Speaker 3: to me in a real sense of what I was

1012
00:52:22,005 --> 00:52:23,765
Speaker 3: going to have to do. But I was still thinking

1013
00:52:23,805 --> 00:52:26,405
Speaker 3: at that point only about the physical side of it,

1014
00:52:26,805 --> 00:52:30,125
Speaker 3: and potentially the emotional side of it, being away from Madigan,

1015
00:52:30,205 --> 00:52:32,845
Speaker 3: because I had never been away from him ever. We've

1016
00:52:32,925 --> 00:52:34,765
Speaker 3: never not spoken, and I knew that once you get

1017
00:52:34,805 --> 00:52:38,765
Speaker 3: on the mountain there was no communication whatsoever. And I

1018
00:52:38,845 --> 00:52:41,645
Speaker 3: knew that that was going to play with my brain

1019
00:52:42,165 --> 00:52:45,885
Speaker 3: a lot of my emotions. What I didn't realize was

1020
00:52:45,965 --> 00:52:49,565
Speaker 3: because I had been in this really dark place and

1021
00:52:49,605 --> 00:52:51,845
Speaker 3: I'd lost all my hair and i'd been in hiding

1022
00:52:52,765 --> 00:52:56,205
Speaker 3: that you know you're there and the next thing you're

1023
00:52:56,205 --> 00:52:58,365
Speaker 3: with all these people that you don't know from a

1024
00:52:58,405 --> 00:53:01,685
Speaker 3: bar of soap. They're all very big personalities. And then

1025
00:53:01,725 --> 00:53:04,405
Speaker 3: you've got cameras, although you know, the cameras do try

1026
00:53:04,445 --> 00:53:06,965
Speaker 3: and keep away a little bit. So you're kind of

1027
00:53:06,965 --> 00:53:10,205
Speaker 3: in this little bubble on the mountain with these random

1028
00:53:10,245 --> 00:53:13,525
Speaker 3: people and they've got their big personalities, and everyone's trying

1029
00:53:13,525 --> 00:53:16,125
Speaker 3: to get their five minutes of fame and their views across,

1030
00:53:16,125 --> 00:53:18,365
Speaker 3: and they want to be the alpha and everything. And

1031
00:53:18,885 --> 00:53:22,645
Speaker 3: I wasn't prepared for that kind of environment. I wasn't

1032
00:53:22,685 --> 00:53:25,165
Speaker 3: prepared for the cameras. Again, I didn't think about it.

1033
00:53:25,205 --> 00:53:28,965
Speaker 3: I didn't think it through, and I wasn't prepared for

1034
00:53:29,565 --> 00:53:32,805
Speaker 3: all the big personalities that seem to be very very

1035
00:53:32,885 --> 00:53:35,565
Speaker 3: comfortable in front of I should have been the one

1036
00:53:35,565 --> 00:53:36,645
Speaker 3: comfortable in front of the king.

1037
00:53:36,725 --> 00:53:36,925
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1038
00:53:37,005 --> 00:53:40,805
Speaker 3: Interesting, I've been okay, but I wasn't okay, and I

1039
00:53:41,005 --> 00:53:44,645
Speaker 3: just well, I didn't speak like I'm glad that you

1040
00:53:44,685 --> 00:53:46,445
Speaker 3: could sort of see what was happening to me.

1041
00:53:46,605 --> 00:53:48,805
Speaker 2: You walk away with one hundred thousand, it's.

1042
00:53:48,645 --> 00:53:51,125
Speaker 3: All right, thousand, yeah, which is better than nothing, So

1043
00:53:51,525 --> 00:53:52,285
Speaker 3: better than nothing?

1044
00:53:52,645 --> 00:53:54,605
Speaker 2: What have you done with the money, And tell me

1045
00:53:54,765 --> 00:53:59,045
Speaker 2: how you're feeling now post that post coming out of

1046
00:53:59,045 --> 00:54:02,125
Speaker 2: this place you've been in about what's next and what

1047
00:54:02,165 --> 00:54:03,125
Speaker 2: are the plans?

1048
00:54:03,925 --> 00:54:07,445
Speaker 3: Right, Well, certainly the one hundred thousand is enough to

1049
00:54:07,525 --> 00:54:10,285
Speaker 3: take the pressure off a little bit. It's not enough

1050
00:54:10,325 --> 00:54:12,805
Speaker 3: to build. So this shed here that we spend a

1051
00:54:12,845 --> 00:54:15,205
Speaker 3: lot of time in isn't a livable space.

1052
00:54:15,445 --> 00:54:16,685
Speaker 2: It's not a proper house.

1053
00:54:17,245 --> 00:54:19,165
Speaker 3: It's not a proper house, and it's not a legal house.

1054
00:54:19,405 --> 00:54:22,365
Speaker 3: I'm not allowed to live in it. It's legal shed,

1055
00:54:22,685 --> 00:54:24,685
Speaker 3: and I can work out of it the businesses here,

1056
00:54:24,805 --> 00:54:27,965
Speaker 3: everything's fine, but it can never and can never be

1057
00:54:28,045 --> 00:54:31,565
Speaker 3: sold as a residence. So the only option I'd have

1058
00:54:31,605 --> 00:54:33,645
Speaker 3: to build another. And I love the shed. I love

1059
00:54:33,925 --> 00:54:35,765
Speaker 3: what I did here, so I know that I could

1060
00:54:35,805 --> 00:54:38,645
Speaker 3: build another one and do it quite cheaply. In my head,

1061
00:54:39,365 --> 00:54:42,365
Speaker 3: I thought I could do it for about two hundred grand.

1062
00:54:42,845 --> 00:54:44,485
Speaker 3: There would be a lot of work. That wouldn't be

1063
00:54:44,525 --> 00:54:46,325
Speaker 3: a good kitchen, that wouldn't be good bathrooms, but you

1064
00:54:46,325 --> 00:54:48,445
Speaker 3: know I could get the bones up. I can't do

1065
00:54:48,525 --> 00:54:51,765
Speaker 3: that with one hundred thousand. There's just no way. So

1066
00:54:51,885 --> 00:54:56,205
Speaker 3: unfortunately it's a bit boring. I've got dead of course, Yeah,

1067
00:54:56,245 --> 00:55:00,085
Speaker 3: the money will go that way. And then right now,

1068
00:55:00,205 --> 00:55:03,405
Speaker 3: I'm feeling quite confident. I feel like I'm going to

1069
00:55:03,445 --> 00:55:04,965
Speaker 3: be able to do a bit of the lap. I know,

1070
00:55:05,045 --> 00:55:06,605
Speaker 3: I can't leave my dad for very long.

1071
00:55:06,965 --> 00:55:11,565
Speaker 2: So your dad is still with us, and he's still unwell.

1072
00:55:11,325 --> 00:55:13,885
Speaker 3: He's still just living with cancer. Yeah, that he's on

1073
00:55:13,925 --> 00:55:17,805
Speaker 3: his own. So I'm still I'm not a paid care anymore,

1074
00:55:17,965 --> 00:55:23,805
Speaker 3: but I certainly am his person from you know, technology,

1075
00:55:23,845 --> 00:55:26,205
Speaker 3: like he doesn't have a mobile file a computer. You know,

1076
00:55:26,245 --> 00:55:28,165
Speaker 3: I've got to help him with his smart TV, and.

1077
00:55:28,485 --> 00:55:30,885
Speaker 2: So you are caring for him, not in a medical

1078
00:55:30,885 --> 00:55:31,645
Speaker 2: but yes, yeah.

1079
00:55:31,525 --> 00:55:33,485
Speaker 3: And I cook for him, you know, probably three or

1080
00:55:33,485 --> 00:55:36,205
Speaker 3: four nights a week, but I don't get paid for it.

1081
00:55:36,285 --> 00:55:38,725
Speaker 3: So of course I know that we could get something

1082
00:55:38,805 --> 00:55:41,765
Speaker 3: in place there. And so the plan is now, if

1083
00:55:41,805 --> 00:55:44,165
Speaker 3: I can pay these debts off, I don't have that

1084
00:55:44,405 --> 00:55:47,765
Speaker 3: to build the other shed house shouts, so that just

1085
00:55:47,805 --> 00:55:49,965
Speaker 3: has to sit on the back burner now for god

1086
00:55:50,045 --> 00:55:54,325
Speaker 3: knows how long. But what I could do is put

1087
00:55:54,325 --> 00:55:56,685
Speaker 3: a bit more money into the business. This is the

1088
00:55:56,765 --> 00:55:59,965
Speaker 3: plan while that stock is being made, because it takes

1089
00:55:59,965 --> 00:56:02,485
Speaker 3: a while, Mad's and I could hit the road for

1090
00:56:02,565 --> 00:56:05,205
Speaker 3: a little bit, like it's not that's probably not the

1091
00:56:05,285 --> 00:56:13,165
Speaker 3: best financial idea I've had, But life is it's too short.

1092
00:56:13,325 --> 00:56:16,365
Speaker 3: Like I've got four years left with Madigan in the house.

1093
00:56:16,485 --> 00:56:19,445
Speaker 3: So if I don't do that now while I've got

1094
00:56:19,445 --> 00:56:21,605
Speaker 3: a bit of cash to do it, I won't get

1095
00:56:21,645 --> 00:56:24,125
Speaker 3: to do it if we just sit here and wait

1096
00:56:24,525 --> 00:56:25,445
Speaker 3: until he's eighteen.

1097
00:56:25,605 --> 00:56:28,125
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is the thing is that you It sounds

1098
00:56:28,205 --> 00:56:29,645
Speaker 2: to me. I don't want to put words in your mouth,

1099
00:56:29,685 --> 00:56:32,605
Speaker 2: but your values are you want to spend time with

1100
00:56:32,645 --> 00:56:35,005
Speaker 2: your kid, you want to make memories and have adventures

1101
00:56:35,005 --> 00:56:36,205
Speaker 2: and go to a place you want to go.

1102
00:56:36,525 --> 00:56:37,365
Speaker 3: Well, we can't.

1103
00:56:37,365 --> 00:56:40,605
Speaker 2: Those things are not free, because nothing is. But their

1104
00:56:40,685 --> 00:56:43,325
Speaker 2: choices you can make that are more meaningful perhaps than

1105
00:56:43,365 --> 00:56:44,205
Speaker 2: some others.

1106
00:56:44,525 --> 00:56:47,205
Speaker 3: Well that's what I believe. I believe if we don't

1107
00:56:47,205 --> 00:56:49,125
Speaker 3: do it now, who knows what's around the corner, you know.

1108
00:56:50,005 --> 00:56:52,525
Speaker 3: And I want him just to have the best start

1109
00:56:52,605 --> 00:56:57,045
Speaker 3: in life. And I just don't believe sitting here going

1110
00:56:57,685 --> 00:57:01,285
Speaker 3: to a school. I would rather have the adventure and

1111
00:57:01,485 --> 00:57:04,325
Speaker 3: set him on a path that could just open up

1112
00:57:04,365 --> 00:57:08,005
Speaker 3: all the doors for him. People who sometimes just get

1113
00:57:08,045 --> 00:57:10,525
Speaker 3: stuck in one place, you know, you think that's your life,

1114
00:57:10,525 --> 00:57:13,005
Speaker 3: That's how it's got to be. By doing this with

1115
00:57:13,125 --> 00:57:16,445
Speaker 3: him now and showing him and telling him like the

1116
00:57:16,485 --> 00:57:18,885
Speaker 3: way I've lived my life, because he says, oh, you

1117
00:57:18,925 --> 00:57:20,685
Speaker 3: know what if I just finished school and then what

1118
00:57:20,725 --> 00:57:23,125
Speaker 3: am I going to do after that? Am I just

1119
00:57:23,165 --> 00:57:24,805
Speaker 3: going to go to the same job, do the same

1120
00:57:24,885 --> 00:57:26,685
Speaker 3: thing day after day? And I'm like, no, look at

1121
00:57:26,685 --> 00:57:28,845
Speaker 3: my life, look at what I've done. You can spin

1122
00:57:28,925 --> 00:57:31,405
Speaker 3: and pivot at any point if you really want to,

1123
00:57:31,925 --> 00:57:34,605
Speaker 3: if you're not financially driven.

1124
00:57:34,685 --> 00:57:38,445
Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, for sure, we've probably been talking too long.

1125
00:57:38,485 --> 00:57:40,845
Speaker 2: I'm sure my producer would say so. But I have

1126
00:57:40,925 --> 00:57:44,045
Speaker 2: two things I really want to ask you before we

1127
00:57:44,085 --> 00:57:47,445
Speaker 2: wrap up. The first is about you said before you know,

1128
00:57:47,565 --> 00:57:50,765
Speaker 2: it's a fact actually that the fastest group of people

1129
00:57:50,765 --> 00:57:54,645
Speaker 2: becoming homeless of women in their midlife, right, And I

1130
00:57:54,685 --> 00:57:56,605
Speaker 2: know that to a certain extent, the way that you're

1131
00:57:56,645 --> 00:57:59,485
Speaker 2: living is a choice, but it's also an affordable way

1132
00:57:59,605 --> 00:58:01,285
Speaker 2: for you to be able to live your life how

1133
00:58:01,325 --> 00:58:03,565
Speaker 2: you want to live it, through your work with single

1134
00:58:03,605 --> 00:58:05,645
Speaker 2: parents community and so to. Have you heard about a

1135
00:58:05,685 --> 00:58:08,725
Speaker 2: lot of people who are really struggling in that circumstance.

1136
00:58:09,645 --> 00:58:13,045
Speaker 3: Oh, look, they're always struggling, but they're even more so

1137
00:58:13,725 --> 00:58:19,165
Speaker 3: now because of the housing crisis. I mean, it's so hard.

1138
00:58:19,685 --> 00:58:21,885
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know how else to help other

1139
00:58:21,965 --> 00:58:24,285
Speaker 3: than to get word out, Like my business doesn't do

1140
00:58:24,725 --> 00:58:27,565
Speaker 3: enough to be able to give much. I've had some

1141
00:58:27,645 --> 00:58:31,485
Speaker 3: amazing customers though, who have donated to the Single Mums

1142
00:58:31,845 --> 00:58:35,525
Speaker 3: and their Children charity that I work with, and I

1143
00:58:35,565 --> 00:58:39,125
Speaker 3: know every little bit helps, but it's just really hard.

1144
00:58:39,165 --> 00:58:42,605
Speaker 3: I don't know what we need to do as a community,

1145
00:58:42,925 --> 00:58:46,005
Speaker 3: but we need to do something because you can't have

1146
00:58:46,085 --> 00:58:48,085
Speaker 3: people out on the streetlight that. You can't have single

1147
00:58:48,125 --> 00:58:50,285
Speaker 3: mums out on the street missing.

1148
00:58:50,005 --> 00:58:52,645
Speaker 2: Meals, kids living in cars.

1149
00:58:52,325 --> 00:58:56,125
Speaker 3: Kids living in cars. You know. I after the first

1150
00:58:56,245 --> 00:58:58,725
Speaker 3: year of starting Wandering, I was either first year was okay,

1151
00:58:58,765 --> 00:59:02,845
Speaker 3: but then the second year was not. And you know,

1152
00:59:02,925 --> 00:59:04,925
Speaker 3: there was times in that year. I mean, I have

1153
00:59:05,005 --> 00:59:07,525
Speaker 3: to go without heat and air con. That's just what

1154
00:59:07,605 --> 00:59:09,925
Speaker 3: I have to do to get by. But there was

1155
00:59:09,965 --> 00:59:12,565
Speaker 3: a time that I was like, oh my god, medication

1156
00:59:12,685 --> 00:59:15,325
Speaker 3: am I going to be able to afford that? I

1157
00:59:15,485 --> 00:59:17,605
Speaker 3: was faced with it too, and I called to Rees,

1158
00:59:18,445 --> 00:59:20,805
Speaker 3: who's the head of that charity, and I was like, I, look,

1159
00:59:20,845 --> 00:59:22,845
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be able to do much because

1160
00:59:22,965 --> 00:59:25,405
Speaker 3: I'm actually now one of the people that I wanted

1161
00:59:25,445 --> 00:59:29,765
Speaker 3: to help, Like, I'm actually that person deciding if I

1162
00:59:29,805 --> 00:59:34,445
Speaker 3: should get my medication or not. So yeah, it's just hard.

1163
00:59:34,845 --> 00:59:37,365
Speaker 3: It's really hard, and I just wish there was something

1164
00:59:37,405 --> 00:59:38,285
Speaker 3: more I could do.

1165
00:59:39,325 --> 00:59:41,125
Speaker 2: It sounds like you know, as you say, getting the

1166
00:59:41,165 --> 00:59:43,405
Speaker 2: word out and doing what you're doing through wandering Aussie

1167
00:59:43,605 --> 00:59:47,005
Speaker 2: is definitely helping because people don't think enough about what

1168
00:59:47,085 --> 00:59:49,085
Speaker 2: everyone's going through. The other thing I really wanted to

1169
00:59:49,085 --> 00:59:51,405
Speaker 2: ask you is for a woman who's listening to this

1170
00:59:51,565 --> 00:59:54,525
Speaker 2: who feels like she's at one of those moments where

1171
00:59:55,685 --> 00:59:58,045
Speaker 2: all the plans have fallen a heap. You've been through

1172
00:59:58,085 --> 01:00:00,645
Speaker 2: a few of them, as we've discussed today, all the

1173
01:00:00,685 --> 01:00:04,165
Speaker 2: plans have fallen in a heap. She's got responsibilities, she's

1174
01:00:04,165 --> 01:00:06,445
Speaker 2: got no idea what life's going to look like in

1175
01:00:06,485 --> 01:00:11,125
Speaker 2: a few months or a year. Midlife can bash your confidence,

1176
01:00:11,125 --> 01:00:13,645
Speaker 2: as we've discussed, have you got words of wisdom?

1177
01:00:13,765 --> 01:00:13,845
Speaker 3: Like?

1178
01:00:13,885 --> 01:00:14,725
Speaker 2: What gets you through?

1179
01:00:15,285 --> 01:00:18,005
Speaker 3: I warned you at the beginning there's no wisdom here.

1180
01:00:18,365 --> 01:00:20,925
Speaker 2: I think there's wisdom. How the hell have you got

1181
01:00:20,925 --> 01:00:22,125
Speaker 2: through some of those things?

1182
01:00:22,765 --> 01:00:25,325
Speaker 3: Oh? You know what? I reckon? It goes back to

1183
01:00:25,405 --> 01:00:28,645
Speaker 3: being a dancer and an actor as well. Because there's

1184
01:00:28,685 --> 01:00:32,845
Speaker 3: a lot of knockbacks in both of those worlds, and

1185
01:00:32,965 --> 01:00:37,485
Speaker 3: you have to become very resilient and you have to

1186
01:00:37,565 --> 01:00:40,285
Speaker 3: take the knocks and you have to get back up.

1187
01:00:40,645 --> 01:00:44,125
Speaker 3: Otherwise what is there? Like I did it for years

1188
01:00:44,125 --> 01:00:46,765
Speaker 3: as a dancer, you know, I go for twenty auditions

1189
01:00:46,765 --> 01:00:48,685
Speaker 3: and maybe I'll get one. As an actor, it was

1190
01:00:48,805 --> 01:00:51,005
Speaker 3: way worse, So go for one hundred auditions and maybe

1191
01:00:51,085 --> 01:00:54,725
Speaker 3: get one. So you kind of get used to being

1192
01:00:54,805 --> 01:00:57,365
Speaker 3: knocked down. And then as a single parent, you know,

1193
01:00:57,445 --> 01:01:01,125
Speaker 3: you've got the added weight. I don't know, You've just

1194
01:01:01,165 --> 01:01:02,725
Speaker 3: got to You just got to keep fighting.

1195
01:01:03,325 --> 01:01:05,565
Speaker 2: And I guess what some people have said is that

1196
01:01:05,645 --> 01:01:07,805
Speaker 2: you never know what's going to happen next, you know

1197
01:01:07,845 --> 01:01:11,325
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like life throws you some bizarre curveballs sometimes.

1198
01:01:11,325 --> 01:01:13,085
Speaker 2: I mean, that's a cliche, but it's true.

1199
01:01:13,885 --> 01:01:17,245
Speaker 3: It's so true. And that's why I keep wanting to

1200
01:01:17,565 --> 01:01:21,885
Speaker 3: live life, you know, because nothing is certain. I just

1201
01:01:21,925 --> 01:01:24,005
Speaker 3: want to live the best life that I possibly can

1202
01:01:24,085 --> 01:01:25,805
Speaker 3: while I'm here, and I wanted to do as much

1203
01:01:25,845 --> 01:01:28,805
Speaker 3: as I possibly can with my son and give him

1204
01:01:28,805 --> 01:01:32,165
Speaker 3: the best start. It's a life. I told you there

1205
01:01:32,205 --> 01:01:35,205
Speaker 3: was no wisdom, no if that is wisdom.

1206
01:01:35,245 --> 01:01:39,165
Speaker 2: Look at you, it is wisdom. Oh, thank you so much.

1207
01:01:39,165 --> 01:01:39,965
Speaker 3: Oh thank you.

1208
01:01:43,645 --> 01:01:46,165
Speaker 2: Look. I need to tell you about Simone, even though

1209
01:01:46,205 --> 01:01:49,125
Speaker 2: she just did an excellent job of telling you about herself.

1210
01:01:49,725 --> 01:01:51,925
Speaker 2: She recorded that with us from her shed on the

1211
01:01:51,965 --> 01:01:54,205
Speaker 2: mid North coast of New South Wales, as the rain

1212
01:01:54,325 --> 01:01:57,285
Speaker 2: pelted down on a tin roof and her son played

1213
01:01:57,325 --> 01:01:58,605
Speaker 2: with the rescue dogs.

1214
01:01:58,285 --> 01:01:58,925
Speaker 3: On the floor.

1215
01:01:59,525 --> 01:02:01,845
Speaker 2: For a woman who's been through such a lot, her

1216
01:02:01,885 --> 01:02:05,005
Speaker 2: beauty and her very open energy just kind of pomped

1217
01:02:05,085 --> 01:02:08,405
Speaker 2: through the camera. And we did video that conversation. We

1218
01:02:08,405 --> 01:02:10,925
Speaker 2: always do video them, but we had a tech problem,

1219
01:02:11,005 --> 01:02:12,725
Speaker 2: which meant you're not going to see it, And I'm

1220
01:02:12,765 --> 01:02:15,125
Speaker 2: sorry about that, but I could have talked to her

1221
01:02:15,365 --> 01:02:18,725
Speaker 2: for a week. We talk about living a life full

1222
01:02:18,725 --> 01:02:21,605
Speaker 2: of stories, and I'm not sure there's a clearer example

1223
01:02:21,645 --> 01:02:25,085
Speaker 2: than that conversation. We just had a midwoman who's refusing

1224
01:02:25,125 --> 01:02:27,045
Speaker 2: to give up on the life she wants, no matter

1225
01:02:27,085 --> 01:02:30,365
Speaker 2: how hard it is. I just loved it. I'm always

1226
01:02:30,405 --> 01:02:32,725
Speaker 2: really energized by talking to people about the things that

1227
01:02:32,805 --> 01:02:34,725
Speaker 2: light them up, and what lits the mo own up

1228
01:02:34,765 --> 01:02:37,605
Speaker 2: was definitely her son and the time and the adventures

1229
01:02:37,645 --> 01:02:40,045
Speaker 2: that she wants to have with him, and I totally

1230
01:02:40,085 --> 01:02:42,805
Speaker 2: get it. Times ticking away, I feel like as your

1231
01:02:42,845 --> 01:02:44,525
Speaker 2: kids are growing up and you're like, but there's so

1232
01:02:44,645 --> 01:02:46,805
Speaker 2: much I want to do with you before you fly

1233
01:02:46,965 --> 01:02:53,245
Speaker 2: the nest. Friends, please remember to scroll back in this

1234
01:02:53,365 --> 01:02:56,805
Speaker 2: feed to hear more stories of overcoming remarkable stuff, like

1235
01:02:56,885 --> 01:02:59,445
Speaker 2: my conversation with Julie Goodwin about mental health and the

1236
01:02:59,485 --> 01:03:01,925
Speaker 2: moment her life was saved by a couple of strangers

1237
01:03:01,925 --> 01:03:05,325
Speaker 2: and their puppy, or with Christine Arnau, who spoke to

1238
01:03:05,365 --> 01:03:08,805
Speaker 2: me about rebuilding herself after divorce and facing up to

1239
01:03:08,845 --> 01:03:11,605
Speaker 2: the parts we all play in the moments that derail us.

1240
01:03:12,565 --> 01:03:16,205
Speaker 2: Just enormous. Thanks to you mids for embracing our show

1241
01:03:16,725 --> 01:03:19,165
Speaker 2: and to the team who helped put it together, led

1242
01:03:19,205 --> 01:03:23,245
Speaker 2: by our amazing executive producer Nama Brown and including sound

1243
01:03:23,325 --> 01:03:28,045
Speaker 2: design from Tom Lyon and production from Telisa Bizzazz. Go

1244
01:03:28,085 --> 01:03:30,685
Speaker 2: and follow us, Share this episode with a friend, throw

1245
01:03:30,765 --> 01:03:33,565
Speaker 2: us alike. It means the world. I'll see you here

1246
01:03:33,645 --> 01:03:38,285
Speaker 2: next week for a conversation about rage. I know you

1247
01:03:38,365 --> 01:03:40,445
Speaker 2: feel it too. I'll see you back here