WEBVTT - Week 34: Where Should My Support Person Stand In The Delivery Room?

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<v Speaker 1>Said, you're listening to a Muma Mia podcast. Mom and

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<v Speaker 1>Mayor acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that

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<v Speaker 1>this podcast is recorded on.

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<v Speaker 2>I am Pregnantty.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to hell he Bump. We're making pregnancy less overwhelming

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<v Speaker 1>and hopefully more manageable. I'm Grace Reebray. I'm pregnant for

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<v Speaker 1>the first time, and I'm starting to panic that nothing

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<v Speaker 1>is organized.

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<v Speaker 2>Home yard of Pittman. I've got nothing organized, but that's

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<v Speaker 2>because I do have six children. I'm also training to

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<v Speaker 2>be an obstetrician, and I am a former sportsperson.

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<v Speaker 1>Each episode, we will be holding your hand a week

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<v Speaker 1>by week through the mysterious, perplexing and sometimes quite stressful

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<v Speaker 1>miracle that is pregnancy, all the way from a poppy

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<v Speaker 1>seed to a pupkin week week thirty four And what

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<v Speaker 1>size are we?

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<v Speaker 2>Little one is now an apple pie your local bakery.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's get like a round, nice chunky apple.

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<v Speaker 1>I can only imagine like a regional bakery job, a nice, big,

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<v Speaker 1>chunky right. I feel like we're starting to get to

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<v Speaker 1>melon territory.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're very close to melo territory. I got a

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<v Speaker 2>baby wombat as well. For the Australian animal thing. Now

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<v Speaker 2>this is actually the gestation that my twins came, so

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<v Speaker 2>this is quite close to my heart, this one. So

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<v Speaker 2>lots of things development wise for your bebit, your little girl.

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<v Speaker 2>The bones are starting to harden, so their skulls getting harder.

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<v Speaker 2>Now remember there's going to have those fontanelles and the

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<v Speaker 2>ability for the little skull bones to cross over for birth.

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<v Speaker 2>But it is starting to get stronger in that bone

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<v Speaker 2>strength capacity. So there's two fontenelles. They're the soft spots

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<v Speaker 2>on the baby's head and then there's the skin that

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<v Speaker 2>covers the gaps where the plates meet together.

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<v Speaker 1>When does their neck function as a neck.

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<v Speaker 2>Not too well after birth. That's why we need to

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<v Speaker 2>support them. So I think that's the scary thing when

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<v Speaker 2>you've got more than one child and your toddler is

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<v Speaker 2>flinging your baby around there. They're a lot more robust

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<v Speaker 2>and in fact, my first ever grace time to the

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<v Speaker 2>ed was when my I think it was about nine

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<v Speaker 2>weeks old, and he rolled off my bed. Like they say,

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<v Speaker 2>do not leave a baby unattended, but I'm like, sure,

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<v Speaker 2>it's nine weeks. Sure. I literally turned around to hang

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<v Speaker 2>something in the club of a little bull. It's weird.

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<v Speaker 2>You know. I was in living in the UK at

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<v Speaker 2>this point because I was back training again, and I

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<v Speaker 2>went to the DA and the doctor said, I know,

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<v Speaker 2>you feel like a terrible mum right now. I'd be

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<v Speaker 2>the second one today. I'm like, oh, thank god, very robust.

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<v Speaker 1>I Actually I have think my sister called crying when

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<v Speaker 1>her son rolled off the bed for the first time,

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<v Speaker 1>so it feels like rolling off the.

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<v Speaker 2>Bed is the thing. He's a mark a marker, a

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<v Speaker 2>terrible a good parenting. Yeah, but you will do You'll

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<v Speaker 2>make mistakes, is what I'm saying. Most of the time

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<v Speaker 2>it won't matter, but yeah, their next are particularly vulnerable,

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<v Speaker 2>so we do need to look after them.

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<v Speaker 1>What what's happening to me and what's happening to us.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, at the beginning of pregnancy, you might have found

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<v Speaker 2>that you're feeling quite tired and emotional. Well let's wind

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<v Speaker 2>that up by about a hundred so it's really important

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<v Speaker 2>to get plenty of sleep and plenty of rest. You're

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<v Speaker 2>going to be starting to I think we talked about

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<v Speaker 2>this a few weeks ago, starting to sort of nest

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<v Speaker 2>and get things busy, and you're going to be thinking goodness,

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<v Speaker 2>this is approaching quickly because we are only three weeks

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<v Speaker 2>away from full term, so we consider term thirty seven

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<v Speaker 2>to forty two weeks. So everyone says forty weeks is

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<v Speaker 2>your golden golden time. That's when your due date is.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the date you'll have been given when you started

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<v Speaker 2>getting pregnant. But anytime after thirty seven weeks is term.

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<v Speaker 2>So with only a month to go, it's getting very real. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's important that you don't feel this time because

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of people will be starting to consider maternity

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<v Speaker 2>to leave now. Don't feel the time. This is the

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<v Speaker 2>time to really rejuvenate, relax, fuel well, get your massage,

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<v Speaker 2>booking with your antienatal appointments, and start to wind down

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<v Speaker 2>and get ready for this baby to come.

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<v Speaker 1>Is this normal?

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<v Speaker 2>Is normal?

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<v Speaker 1>Is this normal?

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<v Speaker 2>Is?

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<v Speaker 1>I was gardening on the weekend and was bending over

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<v Speaker 1>a lot picking things up, and then I like had

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<v Speaker 1>this huge pain on one side and I had to

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<v Speaker 1>sit down and like wait for it to pass because

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<v Speaker 1>I obviously I don't know, pulled something or I just

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<v Speaker 1>can't make that movement anymore. And it was just a

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<v Speaker 1>moment of ah, your body is not the same anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>And you can't do certain things or even a time

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<v Speaker 1>of recording. I'm about to hit thirty four weeks. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>probably your weak left of being out to tie my

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<v Speaker 1>own shoes.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly. You need to start getting some support now. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>that is what put me into labor with the twins.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought I could still run up the stairs after

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<v Speaker 2>my toddler and I lost balance and fell backwards. So

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<v Speaker 2>because that's another big thing that's starting to happen. You're

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<v Speaker 2>getting a lot more daor in your lower back and

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<v Speaker 2>your whole center of gravity is moving forward, so your

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<v Speaker 2>balance is really off. Now, don't get me wrong, And

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<v Speaker 2>again I do not one hundred percent condone this for

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<v Speaker 2>anyone listening. And I have severe in continence as a

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<v Speaker 2>result of it. But I was still hurdling in my

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<v Speaker 2>first pregnancy at this point because obviously I was a

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<v Speaker 2>lead athlete. I was very worried about my finances and

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<v Speaker 2>not being able to return to sports, so there was

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<v Speaker 2>a bit of fear in that space. I don't condone

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<v Speaker 2>it because I definitely think my peblic florist who are

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<v Speaker 2>as the result of doing that. But you can't do

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<v Speaker 2>as much as you think you can, and The argument

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<v Speaker 2>here is why do you have to why do you

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<v Speaker 2>need to garden now? Grace at thirty four weeks like,

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<v Speaker 2>there is going to be plenty of time to put

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<v Speaker 2>those roses in, But there's also, guys, plenty of time

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<v Speaker 2>to go back to the gym. So you know, we

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<v Speaker 2>have a lot of women who are really pushing the

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<v Speaker 2>envelope at this point in pregnancy. And don't get me wrong,

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<v Speaker 2>it's great for mental health, it's great for weight, it's

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<v Speaker 2>great for your energy, but it's also okay if your

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<v Speaker 2>body starts to say enough's enough to start winding back down.

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<v Speaker 2>You will not lose fitness. Your body will bounce back.

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<v Speaker 2>It's time to really focus on what you're doing, which

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<v Speaker 2>is growing a baby.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a hard one, especially when it's your first, because

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<v Speaker 1>there is a resistance. But when we get to talk

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<v Speaker 1>to a kid, I'm trying, yeah to just go oh

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<v Speaker 1>I am limited.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, And we again touched on this a few

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<v Speaker 2>weeks ago. But it's also okay to ask your part

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<v Speaker 2>was about driving you to work. Remember it's okay to

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<v Speaker 2>ask your partner to step up and do things because

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<v Speaker 2>we actually want them him or her to be a

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<v Speaker 2>good support person. After birth. So start early. Let's train them,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, train them to do some extra things for

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<v Speaker 2>that little foot massage at night, you know, getting your

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<v Speaker 2>cup of tea on the couch or hanging out the washing,

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<v Speaker 2>doing those things that you will really need them to

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<v Speaker 2>step up and doing the weeks afterwards. It's okay to

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<v Speaker 2>start asking them now. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I will just share one little story about my partner.

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<v Speaker 1>He obviously came to the birth courses and he saw

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<v Speaker 1>the pelvis being moved like in and out I'd say,

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<v Speaker 1>like showing how it's gonna move. And for him, like

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like everyone's had a moment of oh my

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<v Speaker 1>gosh for having a baby. For him, it was the

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<v Speaker 1>pelvis model that did it, and she was the person

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<v Speaker 1>running the course, was moving the pelvist and it goes, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>but yours won't move as much, and he was like

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<v Speaker 1>as much, it's barely moving. What do you mean? And

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<v Speaker 1>he it's like, your body's going to do so much,

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<v Speaker 1>but you've already done so much, and you've been through

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<v Speaker 1>so much already because you've been so sick. And then

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<v Speaker 1>he went and brought me a gift.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh I'll take it.

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<v Speaker 1>I loved it, but like he's more wanting me to

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<v Speaker 1>slow down than I am.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And it's interesting because this will also

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<v Speaker 2>be conversations that you'll have closer to birth of where

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<v Speaker 2>you want your partner to stand in the birth unit,

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<v Speaker 2>because you know they will see a significant change in

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<v Speaker 2>your body and the way things go. And I personally

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<v Speaker 2>think that is sometimes the making of partners. For them

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<v Speaker 2>to be able to see the enormous effort you've gone

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<v Speaker 2>to produce that baby gives a whole new respect for

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<v Speaker 2>the woman going through that space. But it is a

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<v Speaker 2>very big change, and it can be something that if

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<v Speaker 2>you let your partner into it and take them along

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<v Speaker 2>to these birth courses and they can really see what

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<v Speaker 2>your body's doing, will hopefully lead to a wonderful respect

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<v Speaker 2>and then a real shared journey together throughout pregnancy and beyond.

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<v Speaker 1>And what's in your took it.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's really important now to start investing in

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<v Speaker 2>a very good pair of shoes, because one, you can't

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<v Speaker 2>tie you shoelaces. Two they're starting to swell. And so look,

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<v Speaker 2>I was a CrOx girl. I want to be honest,

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<v Speaker 2>because I just found them easy to put on. But

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<v Speaker 2>something that's going to be supportive because again we want

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<v Speaker 2>to back off the heavy exercise. But going from some

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<v Speaker 2>nice walks together, particularly with your partner, as you asked,

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<v Speaker 2>just the two of you, is a good idea.

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<v Speaker 1>Mine was It's a do as I say, not as

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<v Speaker 1>I do. But I'm trying. I'm trying, and my app

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<v Speaker 1>also told me is to start slowing down, which feels

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<v Speaker 1>like the theme of this episode. There's a girl here

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<v Speaker 1>in Mama Mia who she actually just had her baby,

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<v Speaker 1>and a few weeks ago we were talking about the

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<v Speaker 1>perception of women and brain fog and that you do

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<v Speaker 1>slow like that people do treat you differently. And I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, this is a few weeks ago. It's like,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be treated differently. I want to

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<v Speaker 1>like be doing all the work and doing the long days.

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<v Speaker 1>And she was just a few weeks ahead of me,

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<v Speaker 1>and she's like, I absolutely want to be treated differently.

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<v Speaker 1>And now at thirty four weeks, I'm like, I get it. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I get it. I think it's a big change. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I do with the tiredness, the movement, like I've got

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<v Speaker 1>a thirty minute walk to the office and a thirty

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<v Speaker 1>like through the different public transport methods, and then it's

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<v Speaker 1>a wad all. It's starting to be a bit of

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<v Speaker 1>a slog. So I'm going to try and work from

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<v Speaker 1>home on the days that I can set in all

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<v Speaker 1>of those things.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think it's a great message because so many

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<v Speaker 2>people don't do that, or they get the guilts that

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<v Speaker 2>they should be getting more and this is just really

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<v Speaker 2>not the time to be kicking goals. This is a

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<v Speaker 2>it's a stay. It's a stay phase to say, where

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<v Speaker 2>you just just get the bare minimum done and then

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<v Speaker 2>the rest of it will come. You're not going to

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<v Speaker 2>lose that much in this in this couple of weeks.

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<v Speaker 2>I like that.

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<v Speaker 1>We hope you enjoyed this episode of Hello Bump. We

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<v Speaker 1>have so many episodes of this series filled with tips

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<v Speaker 1>and stories from women and experts who've been through it

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<v Speaker 1>all before.

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<v Speaker 2>You can go back and listen to everything else Hello

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<v Speaker 2>Bump related in this podcast feed.

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<v Speaker 1>And while you're there, we'd love if you could give

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<v Speaker 1>us a flying star rating and maybe leave us a

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<v Speaker 1>review or even share this episode with a friend.

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<v Speaker 2>This episode was produced by Courtney Ammenhauser with audio production

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<v Speaker 2>by Tom Lyon. We'll cut Sue next time.

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<v Speaker 1>This episode of Hello Bump was made in partnership with

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<v Speaker 1>Huggies Bye Bye