WEBVTT - Sibling Wealth Gaps & Ruined Christmases 0:00:10.327 --> 0:00:14.847 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges 0:00:14.887 --> 0:00:17.607 the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast 0:00:17.647 --> 0:00:24.407 is recorded on Hello and welcome to Mama Mia out 0:00:24.447 --> 0:00:27.247 Loud and to our Friday show. Now, our Friday show 0:00:27.327 --> 0:00:29.047 is where we take a break from the news cycle. 0:00:29.047 --> 0:00:31.807 We're not talking about anything newsy, anything you're going to 0:00:31.847 --> 0:00:34.807 see on any news sites. We are chilling on Fridays. 0:00:34.807 --> 0:00:36.487 That's what we do because we all know that's what 0:00:36.527 --> 0:00:38.087 we want to do as we head into the weekend. 0:00:38.607 --> 0:00:41.767 And today is Friday, the sixth of December, and I'm 0:00:41.847 --> 0:00:43.647 Holly Waynwright and I think we're going to put the 0:00:43.647 --> 0:00:46.207 tree up this weekend, even though for my liking it's 0:00:46.247 --> 0:00:47.047 still a week early. 0:00:47.887 --> 0:00:50.327 Oh no, no, no, I'm Jesse Stevens and I'm still 0:00:50.327 --> 0:00:52.127 thinking about whether we're going to do a tree because 0:00:52.167 --> 0:00:54.007 a lot of work, but I love the smell. 0:00:54.047 --> 0:00:55.327 You got to do a tree. 0:00:55.687 --> 0:00:58.167 And I'm m Burnham filling in for me today and 0:00:58.207 --> 0:01:00.927 a tree won't fit in my apartment or. 0:01:02.487 --> 0:01:05.887 Out Loud. Before we get into today's show, we have 0:01:06.207 --> 0:01:10.807 general admission tickets on sale now for our tour. We 0:01:10.927 --> 0:01:14.087 have been teasing you for what feels like weeks. It's 0:01:14.167 --> 0:01:17.407 Mamma out Loud Live twenty twenty five. They all are 0:01:17.447 --> 0:01:21.487 nothing to are presented by Nivius Cellula. We're heading in 0:01:21.687 --> 0:01:26.087 May to Perth, to Sydney, to Brisbane to Melbourne and 0:01:26.247 --> 0:01:29.847 my advice is to buy tickets now. We cannot believe 0:01:29.887 --> 0:01:32.767 how quickly they are selling. They are at out loudlive 0:01:32.887 --> 0:01:36.167 dot com dot au. We will pop the link in 0:01:36.207 --> 0:01:37.887 our show notes. See you there. 0:01:38.167 --> 0:01:40.167 You can get your mates together or you can go 0:01:40.247 --> 0:01:43.047 on your own, because we've got this like single ladies 0:01:43.087 --> 0:01:44.567 situation where we do a meetup. 0:01:45.207 --> 0:01:46.127 I'm leading the charge. 0:01:47.287 --> 0:01:51.927 Come, come, come on the show today. What is the 0:01:51.967 --> 0:01:54.807 sibling wealth gap and is it the root of all 0:01:54.847 --> 0:01:59.407 your family arguments? Also, our recommendations include a plea not 0:01:59.447 --> 0:02:03.327 to buy anything, some things you should buy and potatoes. 0:02:03.807 --> 0:02:06.527 Also letting down a friend are very much needed, catch 0:02:06.607 --> 0:02:09.007 up with another friend and Jesse's cheating on us with 0:02:09.087 --> 0:02:12.327 us It's best and worst of the week, but first 0:02:12.527 --> 0:02:13.687 and Vernon. 0:02:13.527 --> 0:02:15.807 In case you missed it. It's that time of the 0:02:15.887 --> 0:02:19.367 year where we collectively remember that dictionaries do in fact 0:02:19.487 --> 0:02:20.127 still exist. 0:02:20.167 --> 0:02:24.927 They dorategy. It's beginning of December. It's a big week 0:02:25.287 --> 0:02:26.007 for Colin's. 0:02:26.687 --> 0:02:29.847 True, I can't believe there's still so many out there, 0:02:29.847 --> 0:02:33.007 Like truly, we're oversaturated with dictionaries now. But all the 0:02:33.047 --> 0:02:36.207 major players in the dictionary world release their words of 0:02:36.247 --> 0:02:38.927 the year this year, so unlike our individual words of 0:02:38.967 --> 0:02:41.207 the year, it's like society's word of the year, and 0:02:41.207 --> 0:02:44.127 it's usually a word that's chosen that has been most 0:02:44.247 --> 0:02:47.287 in the zeitguist that they presume. So I've got the 0:02:47.367 --> 0:02:50.127 list of all the words, and we may as well 0:02:50.167 --> 0:02:51.207 start with Colins now. 0:02:51.327 --> 0:02:52.367 So time to shine. 0:02:52.687 --> 0:02:54.887 Colin's word of the year is Bratt. 0:02:55.607 --> 0:02:59.607 Colin's that was word of like Jiljuly. I know the 0:02:59.727 --> 0:03:02.487 problem with the zeit guys these days is it moves 0:03:02.527 --> 0:03:04.647 too quickly. We need like a word of the month, 0:03:04.727 --> 0:03:07.127 the week, the hour, like a year is too long. 0:03:07.207 --> 0:03:11.367 Bratt feels totally. It feels like my grandfather has just 0:03:11.407 --> 0:03:13.247 been like what and I'm like. 0:03:14.407 --> 0:03:16.367 Okay, what about dictionary dot Com. They're word of the 0:03:16.407 --> 0:03:17.247 year is demure. 0:03:17.487 --> 0:03:20.487 You see how you do my makeup for work? Very demure, 0:03:20.887 --> 0:03:23.407 very mindful. I don't come to work with a green 0:03:23.447 --> 0:03:25.967 cut crease, don't look like a clown when I go 0:03:26.087 --> 0:03:28.567 to work. I don't do too much. I'm very mindful 0:03:28.567 --> 0:03:29.487 of while I'm at work. 0:03:30.127 --> 0:03:30.967 Demure. 0:03:31.407 --> 0:03:34.367 No, I'm still saying demure excep. I'm not ironically now 0:03:34.407 --> 0:03:36.047 I put it into sentences. 0:03:35.687 --> 0:03:37.407 All right, So do it for me. Give me an 0:03:37.447 --> 0:03:40.087 example of how you were using demure in December twenty 0:03:40.087 --> 0:03:40.527 twenty four. 0:03:40.687 --> 0:03:45.407 I really like that lipstick you're wearing. It's quite demure. Okay, 0:03:45.647 --> 0:03:51.007 it sure, Cambridge is manifest I thought that was two 0:03:51.087 --> 0:03:51.487 years ago. 0:03:51.567 --> 0:03:54.207 Oh, I think it's very two years ago. But again, look, 0:03:54.247 --> 0:03:56.847 I love dictionaries because I like the current spelling and 0:03:56.847 --> 0:04:01.127 I like words. But who are these people and culture? 0:04:01.487 --> 0:04:04.127 Because I feel as though they're around the water cooler 0:04:04.167 --> 0:04:05.847 and they're like, have you heard the word manifest And 0:04:05.887 --> 0:04:10.247 it's like, no one under seventy two worked at your workplace, 0:04:10.967 --> 0:04:11.967 and that word is not really. 0:04:12.167 --> 0:04:15.887 Although maybe if manifestos or everyone was doing two years ago, 0:04:15.967 --> 0:04:17.647 maybe this year they're manifestations. 0:04:17.847 --> 0:04:22.847 I'm true. Maybe, so it's actually working. And Macquarie said 0:04:23.087 --> 0:04:26.527 the word of the year is en shitification, my favorite one. 0:04:26.647 --> 0:04:29.167 Tell us this is my favorite one. So I first 0:04:29.167 --> 0:04:32.487 heard of in sertification with the other out louders when 0:04:32.487 --> 0:04:35.407 our friend Amelia Lester brought it up on this very show. 0:04:35.527 --> 0:04:38.127 We know that she is ahead of her time since 0:04:38.127 --> 0:04:41.447 she said it. It is everywhere. Like I went and 0:04:41.447 --> 0:04:44.007 got a sandwich over the weekend at a place where 0:04:44.047 --> 0:04:45.727 I used to go twelve years ago when I used 0:04:45.727 --> 0:04:48.127 to live near there, and the sandwich, from the bread 0:04:48.287 --> 0:04:52.087 to the meat to the paper was just shit. It 0:04:52.207 --> 0:04:54.967 was just forty five percent shitter than it ever was 0:04:55.287 --> 0:04:59.687 and two hundred times more expensive. This is actually a 0:04:59.767 --> 0:05:04.007 real phenomenon where the products we're using are getting shitter 0:05:04.407 --> 0:05:07.167 because there's a consumer incentive because they want us to 0:05:07.167 --> 0:05:09.327 buy more. So the quality of our clothes is and 0:05:09.527 --> 0:05:12.047 worse the quality of our tech because they want us 0:05:12.087 --> 0:05:14.087 to swap it out more and more frequently. 0:05:14.207 --> 0:05:16.047 But you know, in another way it works. There's a 0:05:16.127 --> 0:05:18.607 lot of experiences we have whether they're like, we're making 0:05:18.647 --> 0:05:21.967 it more efficient and easier for you, but it becomes 0:05:22.167 --> 0:05:25.127 shitified in the process. An example of this for me 0:05:25.367 --> 0:05:28.607 is self serve checkouts. It's like, yes, it might be 0:05:28.607 --> 0:05:31.527 better for you guys to be able to employ fewer people, 0:05:31.927 --> 0:05:34.167 but now every time I go to the supermarket to 0:05:34.207 --> 0:05:37.327 do my family shop, it's like unexpected item in the 0:05:37.367 --> 0:05:40.047 bagging area. It's like, too many things in that bag 0:05:40.087 --> 0:05:41.447 and you've got to take it off and put more 0:05:41.487 --> 0:05:43.767 things in. It's like that won't scan. It's like my 0:05:43.927 --> 0:05:48.927 life is shitter because of that. Yeah, and shitification of shopping. 0:05:49.087 --> 0:05:52.327 And let's also say that we've laid all those people 0:05:52.367 --> 0:05:54.407 off to service. Did our groceries get shaped on? 0:05:54.607 --> 0:05:57.447 Nah? But have you been lately? 0:05:57.607 --> 0:05:57.727 Oh? 0:05:57.767 --> 0:05:59.087 I love that you just hover the thing. 0:05:59.247 --> 0:06:00.007 Yeah, that's magic. 0:06:00.047 --> 0:06:03.527 That is the reason why you don't have an issue 0:06:03.567 --> 0:06:05.367 with self serve checkouts is because you're not doing a 0:06:05.367 --> 0:06:11.527 big shop a yeah, not buying three things. Self checkouts 0:06:11.527 --> 0:06:14.407 are the best thing that ever happened. If you're trying 0:06:14.447 --> 0:06:17.527 to buy a trolley load of shit to feed your family, 0:06:17.887 --> 0:06:18.647 it doesn't work. 0:06:18.647 --> 0:06:19.647 No, you're working for free. 0:06:19.767 --> 0:06:22.487 So Oxford was the last one to release their work 0:06:22.487 --> 0:06:24.127 because like we're the big boys. Yeah, you have to 0:06:24.167 --> 0:06:25.847 wear wait and then when you go on the website, 0:06:25.887 --> 0:06:27.087 they're like, oh, what's it going to be and you 0:06:27.087 --> 0:06:29.847 have to scroll down. Their word was like a guess 0:06:29.887 --> 0:06:32.727 two words brain rot, which I quite like. 0:06:33.007 --> 0:06:33.807 I like this. 0:06:34.167 --> 0:06:35.447 Why is that a word? This year? 0:06:36.007 --> 0:06:39.727 I think it describes the communal sense we all have 0:06:40.487 --> 0:06:42.887 that there is something very bad happening to our brains 0:06:43.367 --> 0:06:45.647 as a result of how we live our lives. And 0:06:45.727 --> 0:06:48.567 it reminded me of an interview I listened to a 0:06:48.567 --> 0:06:53.687 while ago about how the overstimulation of everything that we're 0:06:53.727 --> 0:06:57.807 looking at is making our brains like literacy. The fact 0:06:57.807 --> 0:07:00.687 that we can read is a very modern invention, and 0:07:00.687 --> 0:07:02.647 it's due to like neuroplasticity and all of that, and 0:07:02.767 --> 0:07:04.727 was saying that what our brains used to do is 0:07:04.767 --> 0:07:06.927 that I read a chapter of my book last night, 0:07:06.967 --> 0:07:10.367 I'll read a chapter tonight, and because our brains had 0:07:10.367 --> 0:07:12.807 this real estate to think and to comprehend, it would 0:07:12.807 --> 0:07:14.727 put together all these connections and then I'd get back 0:07:14.727 --> 0:07:16.927 into bed and my brain would go, oh, I remember 0:07:16.927 --> 0:07:19.207 we were here in the chapter. Our brains can't do 0:07:19.287 --> 0:07:22.047 that anymore. They're actually looking at how our brains are changing. 0:07:22.447 --> 0:07:25.127 And because of all the content I've consumed between then 0:07:25.287 --> 0:07:28.967 and tonight, I will take ages to try and. 0:07:28.887 --> 0:07:29.647 Pick it up again. 0:07:30.167 --> 0:07:32.727 Yeah, and so our brain's literally rotting. Not to be 0:07:32.767 --> 0:07:43.607 too interesting nihilistic about it. If you're feeling some tension 0:07:43.807 --> 0:07:46.727 in the lead up to Christmas, your family dynamics feel 0:07:46.727 --> 0:07:49.127 a bit off. There are arguments about presents or what 0:07:49.127 --> 0:07:51.887 you're doing for lunch. Then it could be due to 0:07:51.967 --> 0:07:56.087 a phenomenon known as the sibling wealth gap. So what 0:07:56.327 --> 0:07:59.007 is the sibling wealth gap? In an article published on 0:07:59.327 --> 0:08:02.527 Mayor this week, it is defined as the differences in 0:08:02.607 --> 0:08:08.687 financial resources, income or savings between siblings, and often this 0:08:08.767 --> 0:08:12.727 can give to some very complicated feelings. Imagine there's a 0:08:12.727 --> 0:08:16.007 sibling who earns exceptionally more than the others and they 0:08:16.087 --> 0:08:18.607 feel the pressure to pay for everything all the time. 0:08:19.167 --> 0:08:22.447 Or the older sibling has always paid for dinner whenever 0:08:22.487 --> 0:08:24.967 run is out together, but in fact it's the youngest 0:08:25.047 --> 0:08:28.327 now who is earning nearly double their salary. There might 0:08:28.367 --> 0:08:31.447 be a sibling who financially supports the parents, especially if 0:08:31.447 --> 0:08:34.967 they require additional care. And what if you don't approve 0:08:35.047 --> 0:08:38.447 of how your sibling spends their money, complaining that they 0:08:38.447 --> 0:08:41.367 have no savings, but they also appear to have a 0:08:41.367 --> 0:08:45.487 problem with online shopping. According to a career builder survey, 0:08:45.807 --> 0:08:49.647 older siblings tend to earn more than younger siblings, and 0:08:49.727 --> 0:08:54.127 things like exchanging gifts can be especially tricky for what's 0:08:54.167 --> 0:08:58.167 been termed cross class siblings, and that is why Christmas 0:08:58.167 --> 0:09:01.087 can be a very awkward time. Yes, m do you 0:09:01.207 --> 0:09:03.727 think that there are some unwritten rules when it comes 0:09:03.767 --> 0:09:06.207 to the sibling wealth gap and how we navigate it 0:09:06.327 --> 0:09:08.927 within families? Are you shouting your family all the time 0:09:08.927 --> 0:09:12.647 because high flying Jeff Bezos character. 0:09:12.567 --> 0:09:16.607 I actually actually do. I do shout my family quite often. 0:09:16.687 --> 0:09:19.167 My sister never does. She's younger, she's young, She's six 0:09:19.287 --> 0:09:22.247 years younger. So I've always been the one. If it's 0:09:22.247 --> 0:09:23.927 me and my sister, I'm always the one who pays 0:09:23.967 --> 0:09:26.887 for dinner, who buys all the stuff, who like she 0:09:26.967 --> 0:09:29.247 stays over at my house and I like provide her 0:09:29.247 --> 0:09:32.087 breakfast and stuff like that. She's only like been one 0:09:32.167 --> 0:09:35.727 year into her career, so she's earning money. But that 0:09:35.967 --> 0:09:38.447 slowly started to change this year. But I think that's 0:09:38.447 --> 0:09:40.487 because my mum had a word with her and I 0:09:40.567 --> 0:09:43.087 was like, hey, maybe sometimes you can shout m dinner. 0:09:43.287 --> 0:09:45.127 But I think we're also very different. I'm pretty fast 0:09:45.127 --> 0:09:47.607 and loose for my money. Like my love language is 0:09:47.647 --> 0:09:49.607 gift giving, So every now and then I do buy 0:09:49.647 --> 0:09:52.767 my family like dinner and stuff like that, Whereas she's 0:09:52.927 --> 0:09:55.967 very conservative with her money and she's always like, hey, 0:09:56.167 --> 0:09:58.767 remember to transfer me that one dollar or we split 0:09:58.847 --> 0:09:59.487 that thing. 0:09:59.647 --> 0:10:02.607 I expect that sibling. Can I ask a question, do 0:10:02.727 --> 0:10:05.927 you and your sister know each other's salary? Yes? To 0:10:06.007 --> 0:10:07.007 the dollar to the dollar? 0:10:07.087 --> 0:10:07.327 Yeah? 0:10:07.367 --> 0:10:09.567 Really yeah, yeah yeah. 0:10:09.567 --> 0:10:10.687 It's not very British, is it. 0:10:10.727 --> 0:10:13.567 Oh my god? No, I don't know and absolutely not. 0:10:14.087 --> 0:10:17.167 I think what's interesting about this is your attitude to money, 0:10:17.687 --> 0:10:21.207 in theory comes from your upbringing. But nature nurture plays 0:10:21.207 --> 0:10:24.407 out in this a lot too, because my brother, who's 0:10:24.407 --> 0:10:26.847 two years older than me and I, since we were 0:10:26.887 --> 0:10:31.687 tiny kids, have had a fundamental personality difference that was 0:10:31.927 --> 0:10:35.207 very well illustrated by a packet of chocolate biscuits. Right, 0:10:35.247 --> 0:10:37.487 So every month my dad would go and do the 0:10:37.527 --> 0:10:42.327 big monthly shop, you know, Tesco or whatever Asda. He'd 0:10:42.367 --> 0:10:46.287 buy like four packets of chocolate digestives and we got 0:10:46.287 --> 0:10:48.567 two each, but that was it for the month, right. 0:10:49.247 --> 0:10:52.407 I would eat all my chocolate digestives in the first 0:10:52.447 --> 0:10:56.967 three days, and my brother would ration his chocolate digestives 0:10:57.007 --> 0:10:59.447 out through the month to make sure he never ran out, 0:10:59.487 --> 0:11:03.287 and if I wanted one, he would be like, I 0:11:03.367 --> 0:11:05.407 give you one, you have to give me two. Like 0:11:05.487 --> 0:11:07.767 it was always like that, and then he had more 0:11:07.807 --> 0:11:10.167 money when we were teenagers, because I would spend all 0:11:10.167 --> 0:11:11.807 my pocket money and he would save his. And then 0:11:11.847 --> 0:11:13.527 if you lent me any money, he'd say, you have 0:11:13.607 --> 0:11:16.487 to pay me back with interest. So we had exactly 0:11:16.527 --> 0:11:17.607 the same upbringing. 0:11:17.727 --> 0:11:19.207 He's a finance brain, so you're doing it. 0:11:20.487 --> 0:11:24.047 But we had completely different attitudes to money, and that 0:11:24.087 --> 0:11:27.647 has played out throughout our lives. Is that he might say, 0:11:27.687 --> 0:11:29.447 and this is the thing is it's not a sibling 0:11:29.487 --> 0:11:31.607 wealth gap. Isn't always about how much money you have. 0:11:31.807 --> 0:11:33.687 It's what you do with it. Right, So it's like 0:11:34.207 --> 0:11:36.087 I remember years ago he'd be like, Oh, we can't 0:11:36.087 --> 0:11:37.767 afford to come and visit you, which is fine, Like, 0:11:37.807 --> 0:11:40.767 of course it's really expensive. In my mind, I'd be like, oh, 0:11:40.767 --> 0:11:43.607 he just put that on your credit card. But he's like, oh, 0:11:43.647 --> 0:11:45.647 I would never do that. Like we've got a mortgage. 0:11:45.687 --> 0:11:47.287 I pay the mortgage. You know what I mean. It's 0:11:47.327 --> 0:11:52.207 that it's a different attitude to life money savings that 0:11:52.367 --> 0:11:54.007 is just fundamentally different. 0:11:54.207 --> 0:11:56.647 I think that's when it gets awkward. And also they 0:11:56.687 --> 0:12:01.967 can be outward signs of money, say one sibling lives 0:12:01.967 --> 0:12:05.127 in a bigger house or drives a nicer car, but 0:12:05.487 --> 0:12:09.247 you can never actually know unless they explicitly tell you 0:12:09.767 --> 0:12:12.287 the inside details of someone's finances because they might have 0:12:12.327 --> 0:12:14.607 a really big mortgage or like be sending kids to 0:12:14.647 --> 0:12:17.767 really expensive schools and so in terms of disposable income 0:12:18.327 --> 0:12:21.407 and being able to shout dinner, yeah, they could live 0:12:21.447 --> 0:12:24.767 in a very different way. But it's interesting. We are 0:12:24.887 --> 0:12:27.327 exactly the same as you am. Like would know exactly 0:12:27.367 --> 0:12:30.927 how much everyone earns, and I wonder if the dynamic 0:12:31.047 --> 0:12:33.087 becomes more. 0:12:32.967 --> 0:12:35.847 I don't know what anyone in my life earns really, 0:12:36.007 --> 0:12:40.727 like literally none of my friends, none of my family. Brent, 0:12:42.767 --> 0:12:47.087 I know what he earns because like obviously, but like 0:12:47.327 --> 0:12:49.767 it's not something that I ever would talk about with. 0:12:49.927 --> 0:12:52.887 Oh that's that terrible I talk about with all my friends. 0:12:53.247 --> 0:12:55.287 And it's funny because you don't want it to set 0:12:55.367 --> 0:12:57.367 up a dynamic which is, oh, you just got to 0:12:57.367 --> 0:12:59.927 pay rise and you're paying for tie, like you don't 0:12:59.967 --> 0:13:01.687 necessarily do your parents know? 0:13:02.367 --> 0:13:02.607 Yeah? 0:13:02.807 --> 0:13:04.727 Yeah, but this is the thing about my parents, And 0:13:04.727 --> 0:13:06.567 this is why I think this part of the equation 0:13:06.647 --> 0:13:09.647 is important. If your parents think that how much you 0:13:09.647 --> 0:13:12.247 earn as a measure of success, I think that's when 0:13:12.287 --> 0:13:16.127 shit gets messy, because the issue isn't that one sibling 0:13:16.207 --> 0:13:19.487 earns more and one earns less. It's that siblings start 0:13:19.567 --> 0:13:21.247 to think that you're the golden child and I'm the 0:13:21.247 --> 0:13:25.207 black sheep because I don't earn as much. And in families, 0:13:25.247 --> 0:13:28.807 it's like there is almost nothing more egalitarian than your 0:13:28.887 --> 0:13:31.607 childhood in terms of you get the same amount of 0:13:31.607 --> 0:13:34.367 pocket money, You live in the same house, your Christmas 0:13:34.407 --> 0:13:37.607 presents are roughly the same amount of money, your class 0:13:37.607 --> 0:13:39.567 consciousness is very much the same. Then you go out 0:13:39.567 --> 0:13:43.087 into the world and you're just thrown into totally different 0:13:43.087 --> 0:13:45.607 worlds based on your interests. Sometimes it's not even like 0:13:45.927 --> 0:13:48.447 this sibling intended on making money, it's just they fell 0:13:48.447 --> 0:13:51.407 into it, or maybe they married rich, or they wanted to. 0:13:51.327 --> 0:13:54.847 Go into finance and you wanted to be a starving artist, 0:13:55.047 --> 0:13:56.607 yes exactly. 0:13:57.207 --> 0:13:59.087 Or there's this dynamic and this plays out in my 0:13:59.167 --> 0:14:01.607 family a lot, which is there's a teachers. I come 0:14:01.647 --> 0:14:03.607 to the dinner table and I would earn more than 0:14:03.687 --> 0:14:07.887 my brother's earn, who are primary school teachers, an early 0:14:08.007 --> 0:14:11.327 education teacher, but it is implicitly understood that what they 0:14:11.407 --> 0:14:13.607 do is more important. So it's like I'm buying the 0:14:13.647 --> 0:14:17.327 coffees as a thank you for yourself to the community, 0:14:17.887 --> 0:14:20.967 but there is this definite like disparity. 0:14:21.167 --> 0:14:21.447 Yeah. 0:14:21.487 --> 0:14:24.207 I think with my parents, I think the money thing 0:14:24.367 --> 0:14:26.527 is still there. I think it's a generation thing or 0:14:26.567 --> 0:14:29.767 maybe an immigrant thing as well, where it is seeing 0:14:29.847 --> 0:14:32.447 like the more money you make, the more successful you are. 0:14:32.847 --> 0:14:36.647 But also I know that they weren't making as much money. 0:14:36.687 --> 0:14:39.367 I was at their age as my age now when 0:14:39.367 --> 0:14:42.167 they were my age, So it feels like I'm in 0:14:42.207 --> 0:14:44.527 this limbo stage where I'm waiting to get to that 0:14:44.647 --> 0:14:47.527 age where they're going to be like, wait, should you 0:14:47.567 --> 0:14:48.687 be making more money now? 0:14:49.247 --> 0:14:49.487 Oh? 0:14:49.847 --> 0:14:52.647 Like where they hit because of the way that their 0:14:52.687 --> 0:14:55.167 career trajectory went. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. 0:14:55.167 --> 0:14:57.847 And I've also noticed it changes a lot when your 0:14:57.887 --> 0:15:01.527 sibling gets a partner. I remember I would always buy 0:15:01.887 --> 0:15:05.287 gifts of Christmas or Birthdays that I think were more 0:15:05.327 --> 0:15:07.647 expensive than my sister, and then I think if for 0:15:07.687 --> 0:15:10.407 the past two years the gift giving was kind of 0:15:10.447 --> 0:15:13.367 similar in price, but then she would have her partner's 0:15:13.447 --> 0:15:16.287 name on the gift as well, and I was like, oh, interesting, 0:15:16.487 --> 0:15:19.287 and I want to know, like do they actually contribute. 0:15:18.807 --> 0:15:19.367 To that gift. 0:15:19.847 --> 0:15:23.007 Well, if you've pulled your finances and they have, then 0:15:23.047 --> 0:15:26.047 I suppose that they have. But what you're speaking to 0:15:26.887 --> 0:15:30.167 I saw it referred to as couple's privilege, which sounds silly, 0:15:30.167 --> 0:15:32.487 but I think it's really legitimate. If you're in a couple, 0:15:32.607 --> 0:15:36.127 if you're married, then your financial situation is really different 0:15:36.127 --> 0:15:40.807 to someone who's single, from rent to petrol to everything. 0:15:40.887 --> 0:15:43.927 So in a family, when you're talking about I don't know, 0:15:43.967 --> 0:15:47.647 contribution to a family holiday or contribution to parents' age care, 0:15:47.967 --> 0:15:51.087 a single income is very different to a double income. 0:15:51.127 --> 0:15:52.247 So I think it can be really hard. I have 0:15:52.327 --> 0:15:54.447 a lot of mates who are single who are looking 0:15:54.447 --> 0:15:56.887 at buying their own house. It's near impossible, like it 0:15:56.927 --> 0:15:57.727 can't be done. 0:15:57.967 --> 0:15:59.647 It can't be done. It's really different. The thing I'm 0:15:59.647 --> 0:16:04.207 interested in, right, because everybody's definition to a point, depending 0:16:04.207 --> 0:16:07.127 on where you live and where you came from, what's 0:16:07.127 --> 0:16:08.927 a good salary and what's not a good salary and 0:16:08.927 --> 0:16:11.927 all those is very relative, right, I mean, particularly at 0:16:11.967 --> 0:16:15.567 the moment, even people on good salaries and inverted commas 0:16:15.927 --> 0:16:17.967 living in a city like Sydney would find it very 0:16:17.967 --> 0:16:20.327 hard to afford all kinds of things. Right, So if 0:16:20.327 --> 0:16:22.607 we assume that all of that's relatives, so there's you 0:16:22.647 --> 0:16:25.047 don't really know what are the politics? What is the 0:16:25.087 --> 0:16:29.927 etiquette of families who have the sibling wealth gap? As in, 0:16:30.647 --> 0:16:32.967 should it be the thing that, like, if you earn more, 0:16:33.007 --> 0:16:35.207 you buy dinner. Should it be the thing that if 0:16:35.247 --> 0:16:38.207 you married rich, then you should pay for aged care? 0:16:38.407 --> 0:16:40.647 What's the dynamic there? Do you know what I mean? 0:16:40.807 --> 0:16:45.087 I know a family where so let's say most of 0:16:45.127 --> 0:16:47.487 the siblings were very well off and established financially. They 0:16:47.487 --> 0:16:51.047 weren't rich, but they were comfortable, and the sibling that 0:16:51.407 --> 0:16:55.687 was not as well off financially cared for the aging 0:16:55.727 --> 0:16:58.127 parent for years and years and years, and the resources 0:16:58.207 --> 0:17:01.087 the time that everything that was invested in that was significant. 0:17:01.527 --> 0:17:03.487 And then when money was left, when there was an 0:17:03.527 --> 0:17:06.367 inheritance left, all of those siblings looked at each other 0:17:06.407 --> 0:17:10.287 and went, she gets the money. Yeah, And I like 0:17:10.367 --> 0:17:11.167 that idea. 0:17:11.287 --> 0:17:14.247 That that's why I think that's very fair. Though that's 0:17:14.327 --> 0:17:17.527 very fair, some families would not do that. 0:17:17.607 --> 0:17:19.967 And I think that a few things are at play. Firstly, 0:17:20.207 --> 0:17:24.527 they recognize the value of what is unpaid work. Also, 0:17:24.727 --> 0:17:27.287 they didn't have any issues with how she spent her money. 0:17:27.407 --> 0:17:29.127 I think that that can be a really awkward thing 0:17:29.247 --> 0:17:29.687 because I. 0:17:29.607 --> 0:17:31.327 Think that's one of the issues. Is one of the 0:17:31.327 --> 0:17:34.047 problems here are not necessarily about the sums, but the judgment. 0:17:34.207 --> 0:17:37.647 So if you're saying I can't afford that, but then 0:17:37.807 --> 0:17:39.727 you're looking at mine and I don't mean me, but 0:17:39.767 --> 0:17:41.407 someone's looking at your shoes and go, well, how could 0:17:41.407 --> 0:17:44.927 you afford that? I would hate that. Yeah, people being 0:17:44.927 --> 0:17:49.007 thosey into your life, but like, how do you navigate that. 0:17:49.167 --> 0:17:52.727 A family that I'm close to, when they had a 0:17:52.767 --> 0:17:55.047 young family, they were very frugal to try and put 0:17:55.207 --> 0:17:58.287 money on the house and you know, like pay down 0:17:58.407 --> 0:18:00.527 debt and all of those things. So they were often 0:18:00.567 --> 0:18:02.887 saying I can't contribute to this, and I can't contribute 0:18:02.887 --> 0:18:05.207 to that. But now on the other side of that, 0:18:05.247 --> 0:18:08.007 they've paid off their house and have no debt, right, 0:18:09.047 --> 0:18:12.087 so they now have more money than the people who 0:18:12.127 --> 0:18:13.007 were splashing the cash. 0:18:13.327 --> 0:18:15.407 A thing is it changes all the time, and so 0:18:15.527 --> 0:18:18.647 I feel as though pretending like it doesn't exist, pretending 0:18:18.647 --> 0:18:20.687 how much money that, how much money you have in 0:18:20.727 --> 0:18:24.007 your bank account doesn't fundamentally change the way you live 0:18:24.047 --> 0:18:25.887 your life and what you can give them what you 0:18:25.887 --> 0:18:28.367 can't is kind of ridiculous. Like, especially if you spend 0:18:28.807 --> 0:18:31.407 a lot of time together. And when it comes to 0:18:31.647 --> 0:18:33.847 Christmas too. I think that the other element this comes 0:18:33.847 --> 0:18:36.967 into plays when you've got cousins and you go, is 0:18:37.047 --> 0:18:39.407 this set of cousins going to live a totally different 0:18:39.447 --> 0:18:42.807 life to this set of cousins? Like I also think 0:18:42.807 --> 0:18:45.207 what I've noticed is that in a bunch of my 0:18:45.287 --> 0:18:48.567 friends there is the rich uncle. That's what they call him. 0:18:48.567 --> 0:18:51.567 He's a rich uncle, and it's like he has all 0:18:51.607 --> 0:18:54.567 of these resources, which in particular times have come in 0:18:54.607 --> 0:18:57.807 really handy, often in health crises. So they've gone, there's 0:18:57.807 --> 0:19:00.847 a big issue with mum or dad. Rich uncle sweeps 0:19:00.847 --> 0:19:03.167 in and goes, all right, I've sorted it money wise, 0:19:03.607 --> 0:19:06.247 and then the sibling who might not have as much money, 0:19:07.047 --> 0:19:10.167 feels as though they have to overcompensate with time, so 0:19:10.567 --> 0:19:13.447 with the labor of it all with the time with 0:19:13.527 --> 0:19:15.847 the person, because they know that they can't pay for it. 0:19:16.607 --> 0:19:18.607 And I look at that and I go, I know 0:19:18.647 --> 0:19:21.607 which one's harder, and it's the time. And in that way, 0:19:22.327 --> 0:19:24.527 sometimes I think throwing around the money and not actually 0:19:24.607 --> 0:19:27.367 talking about it can make things worse. Like you've actually 0:19:27.367 --> 0:19:29.807 got to sit down and go ten K to this 0:19:29.847 --> 0:19:32.087 person is not the same as ten thousand dollars to 0:19:32.167 --> 0:19:38.127 this person, because otherwise resentment and jealousy and offense confess 0:19:38.167 --> 0:19:40.007 to where people kind of go you think I can't 0:19:40.047 --> 0:19:41.967 afford it. It's like, that's not what I'm saying. I'm 0:19:41.967 --> 0:19:43.567 just saying that I'm in a position right now where 0:19:43.607 --> 0:19:44.727 I can. 0:19:45.047 --> 0:19:47.967 Yeah, or like even the other side where like if 0:19:47.967 --> 0:19:50.927 the rich uncle pays the ten k, then someone else 0:19:50.927 --> 0:19:53.407 will be like, well, when I was really really sick 0:19:53.567 --> 0:19:57.127 and needed to be yeah, yeah, and like where does 0:19:57.167 --> 0:20:00.447 it end? I feel like that also breeds nastiness and 0:20:00.487 --> 0:20:01.287 families as well. 0:20:01.207 --> 0:20:03.287 Well, feeling as though there's an expectation. I think that's 0:20:03.327 --> 0:20:05.127 why people probably don't want to be honest about what 0:20:05.167 --> 0:20:06.927 they've got, because then it's like, well do I have 0:20:06.967 --> 0:20:11.127 an expectation to? And my nephew want to gap you like, 0:20:11.167 --> 0:20:12.367 do I like? Where does it end? 0:20:12.367 --> 0:20:14.367 Would you be? You know, how you were saying, how 0:20:14.407 --> 0:20:16.767 you know what all your family earned? And you like, 0:20:16.847 --> 0:20:18.887 would you be offended if your family didn't want to 0:20:18.887 --> 0:20:19.247 tell you? 0:20:21.367 --> 0:20:23.047 I would assume they had a lot of money. 0:20:23.087 --> 0:20:25.007 I don't know how much my parents make, and they 0:20:25.047 --> 0:20:27.047 also won't tell me and my sister and we are 0:20:27.167 --> 0:20:29.927 really all the time, like we ask all the time. 0:20:29.967 --> 0:20:33.767 I wouldn't know, but I don't know. 0:20:33.807 --> 0:20:34.487 It's a weird thing. 0:20:34.527 --> 0:20:35.847 I thought it was a generation thing. 0:20:35.927 --> 0:20:37.647 Oh I think we should walk around with our salaries 0:20:37.647 --> 0:20:38.047 on our head. 0:20:38.247 --> 0:20:41.847 I love to always joke with my friend group. We 0:20:41.887 --> 0:20:43.847 always joke about who's going to be the rich friend 0:20:43.887 --> 0:20:46.367 one day, and none of us have any idea what 0:20:46.407 --> 0:20:48.647 each other earned. But it's like if someone gets a 0:20:48.687 --> 0:20:52.887 pay rise or a windfall or wind we're always like, oh, 0:20:52.967 --> 0:20:56.207 you're going to be the rich friend and they're like no, no, no, 0:20:56.407 --> 0:20:58.607 Like one day, Holly, you'll sell a book to Hollywood 0:20:58.647 --> 0:21:00.847 and you'll be the rich friend. And I'm like, oh, 0:21:00.927 --> 0:21:02.167 you know, maybe. 0:21:02.207 --> 0:21:05.447 Like who pays for the inn holiday exactly? 0:21:05.567 --> 0:21:08.287 Who shouts when we go on our weekends away and stuff? 0:21:08.327 --> 0:21:10.127 But yeah, no, not one of us are the rich 0:21:10.167 --> 0:21:10.727 friend at this. 0:21:10.847 --> 0:21:12.727 It's still time, Holly. What do you think you do 0:21:12.767 --> 0:21:13.527 at Christmas time? 0:21:13.607 --> 0:21:13.847 Though? 0:21:13.927 --> 0:21:16.567 If there are multiple siblings and there's a gap, whether 0:21:16.607 --> 0:21:19.047 it's presence, whether it's whose house, Because that's the thing, 0:21:19.047 --> 0:21:21.247 it's the person who's got the biggest house that ends 0:21:21.327 --> 0:21:23.287 up having to host it every year. 0:21:23.447 --> 0:21:26.007 Often everyone just needs to move to Chris Kringle, and 0:21:26.007 --> 0:21:28.287 there's a price limit. It's the only way. It's the 0:21:28.287 --> 0:21:29.007 only way it works. 0:21:29.087 --> 0:21:31.687 Yes or no gifts. We don't do gifts. 0:21:31.767 --> 0:21:32.287 I like it. 0:21:34.207 --> 0:21:37.407 Out louders in a moment. We're recommending things for your weekend, 0:21:37.647 --> 0:21:43.607 and Jesse has two which contradict each other. It's Friday, 0:21:43.687 --> 0:21:45.527 so we want to help you set up your weekend 0:21:45.567 --> 0:21:48.687 with our best recommendations. Whole what do you have? 0:21:49.047 --> 0:21:49.807 Potatoes? 0:21:50.127 --> 0:21:54.767 He love potatoes, baked potatoes, hot shits, cold chips. 0:21:54.847 --> 0:21:57.167 I love potatoes too, And you know, I'm just going 0:21:57.207 --> 0:21:58.847 to say it because I think it's a gen X thing. 0:21:59.007 --> 0:22:03.607 But like we grew up with Oprah like shouting at 0:22:03.687 --> 0:22:06.767 us from magazines that you should eat potatoes because you know, 0:22:07.207 --> 0:22:09.207 carbs were evil and all that, there is so much 0:22:09.327 --> 0:22:14.087 joy in potato. I love the What's favoritecifically? The reason, well, 0:22:14.167 --> 0:22:16.367 let me tell you, because the reason I'm recommending potatoes, 0:22:16.367 --> 0:22:18.887 because I know that seems weird, is that we are 0:22:18.927 --> 0:22:21.447 in my one of my favorite seasons on Instagram, which 0:22:21.567 --> 0:22:25.247 is last year, I discovered this Instagram account called Poppy Cooks, 0:22:25.607 --> 0:22:29.487 and she is this young chef called Popio Tool. She's British. 0:22:29.607 --> 0:22:33.527 She lives in Birmingham. She's one of those internet chefs, 0:22:33.727 --> 0:22:36.447 you know. And what she does every Christmas, it's like 0:22:36.447 --> 0:22:39.367 an advent calendar for potatoes is she does twenty four 0:22:39.807 --> 0:22:42.607 Christmas potato dishes and every day there's a new one, 0:22:42.847 --> 0:22:47.647 and it's just videos, like drool worthy videos of potato dishes. 0:22:48.167 --> 0:22:51.087 It's my little Christmas joy. So one day she'll do 0:22:51.207 --> 0:22:54.367 like glass roasted potatoes, you know that have really crispy bottoms, 0:22:54.487 --> 0:22:56.807 and another she'll do like mash dripping with butter, and 0:22:56.847 --> 0:22:58.887 then she'll do loaded roast potatoes, and then she'll do 0:22:59.167 --> 0:23:01.607 potato roasties and then and I don't I can't cook 0:23:01.607 --> 0:23:03.727 all those things, and I'm not gonna cook all those things, 0:23:03.807 --> 0:23:05.167 but I love looking at it. 0:23:05.167 --> 0:23:06.687 It's like all of the joys from watching. 0:23:06.967 --> 0:23:09.247 It's comfort from comfort food, you know what I mean. 0:23:09.287 --> 0:23:12.407 And it's like anyway, So if you also love looking 0:23:12.407 --> 0:23:16.247 at delicious food on Instagram, I'm recommending Poppy cooks twenty 0:23:16.287 --> 0:23:19.687 four days of Christmas potatoes on Instagram. You'll only have 0:23:19.727 --> 0:23:21.687 two what's the day today? It's like the eighth or something, 0:23:21.727 --> 0:23:23.767 isn't it. You'll only have eight to catch up on. 0:23:23.807 --> 0:23:26.407 And then every day, you'll have a potato tree in 0:23:26.447 --> 0:23:27.607 your Instagram. 0:23:27.287 --> 0:23:29.367 So I can addvan calendar, but it's a picture of potato. 0:23:29.487 --> 0:23:31.727 Oh my god. And then one of those dishes I 0:23:31.807 --> 0:23:34.487 might make for Christmas. But also I just liked looking 0:23:34.487 --> 0:23:35.767 at it just makes me happy. 0:23:36.167 --> 0:23:39.887 My recommendation. I have two that are in total contradictions. 0:23:39.887 --> 0:23:44.207 So my first is a documentary on Netflix that all 0:23:44.247 --> 0:23:46.007 the out louders told me to watch and they were right. 0:23:46.367 --> 0:23:49.727 It's called Buy Now. I think watch it with your 0:23:49.807 --> 0:23:53.327 family as like a learning experience for everyone, and it 0:23:53.367 --> 0:23:55.527 will explain to them why you're not buying their Christmas 0:23:55.567 --> 0:23:59.647 presence this year. Okay, buying this stuff feels great, right. 0:24:01.127 --> 0:24:03.647 The problem is that every year we're. 0:24:03.487 --> 0:24:07.287 Consuming more, producing more, and there's a flip side to. 0:24:07.247 --> 0:24:11.007 That that no one wants. 0:24:10.807 --> 0:24:14.967 You to see. I was president of the Adidas brand. 0:24:15.047 --> 0:24:16.047 I started at Apple. 0:24:16.207 --> 0:24:18.087 I worked at Amazon for fifteen years. 0:24:18.327 --> 0:24:22.007 It's a highly refined science to get you to buy stuff. 0:24:22.447 --> 0:24:25.367 They know you like we know you. 0:24:26.527 --> 0:24:30.767 It is a docco about consumption. So it's like the 0:24:31.167 --> 0:24:34.007 remember the Social Dilemma, which was all about social media. 0:24:34.047 --> 0:24:38.167 It's that but for over consumption, and it's about all 0:24:38.167 --> 0:24:43.527 the ways that we're manipulated into buying more. How technology 0:24:43.567 --> 0:24:46.687 has purposely made it impossible to change the batteries, so 0:24:46.767 --> 0:24:48.647 like you know, you can't change a battery of a 0:24:48.687 --> 0:24:50.127 phone or whatever. You've got to throw it out and 0:24:50.127 --> 0:24:54.527 get a totally new one. And sittification andification and what 0:24:54.927 --> 0:24:57.927 fast fashion is doing to the planet. There's this incredible 0:24:57.927 --> 0:25:00.847 scene with a woman who lives in Ghana. You can 0:25:00.887 --> 0:25:03.727 see the shores of Ghana. Just it'll make you feel 0:25:03.727 --> 0:25:06.647 sick the clothes, the clothes that are there, and not 0:25:06.687 --> 0:25:11.247 even the clothes washing ghag because the amount of clothes 0:25:11.327 --> 0:25:14.207 that are being produced every minute around the world, and 0:25:14.247 --> 0:25:16.527 these often these are clothes that have never been worn. 0:25:16.807 --> 0:25:20.087 It's just like this thing of I'm giving them away. 0:25:20.647 --> 0:25:22.247 There is no and this is what they're saying that 0:25:22.327 --> 0:25:23.887 there is no way. Where do you think it's going. 0:25:23.887 --> 0:25:25.687 You know where it's going the shores of Gunner, so 0:25:26.327 --> 0:25:30.207 you see the water and just shoes and toys and 0:25:30.367 --> 0:25:33.727 clothes and everything, and she's just standing there, going, we 0:25:33.847 --> 0:25:36.407 have enough clothes. Stop making clothes. We don't need any 0:25:36.407 --> 0:25:39.207 more clothes. And then of course it comes down to 0:25:39.567 --> 0:25:41.567 how all this stuff is getting into our waterways and 0:25:41.607 --> 0:25:44.167 blah blah blah. It's very very front. 0:25:44.287 --> 0:25:46.607 It's a good job, isn't here? Oh yeap, you're telling 0:25:46.687 --> 0:25:48.967 it to stop buying clothes immediately. Wouldn't go down? 0:25:49.127 --> 0:25:50.967 It is very depressing and is. 0:25:50.887 --> 0:25:53.207 There anything like look, I hope. 0:25:53.407 --> 0:25:57.127 My big takeaway is that it is the giants that 0:25:57.207 --> 0:25:59.847 need to do something. We can try our best to recycle. 0:26:00.367 --> 0:26:04.807 Our recycling is doing jack shit. It's like we need 0:26:04.847 --> 0:26:07.527 to put pressure on the big brands to actually have 0:26:07.607 --> 0:26:10.687 really sustainable policy and buy less. I have a feeling 0:26:10.687 --> 0:26:13.527 that that trend's coming, though I reckon this o consumption things. 0:26:13.607 --> 0:26:13.847 Yak. 0:26:13.967 --> 0:26:15.087 It's like, I think. 0:26:14.927 --> 0:26:17.447 You're right, and I know that there are pockets of 0:26:17.487 --> 0:26:20.807 the community obviously who've been really rabbing that hard for 0:26:20.847 --> 0:26:24.087 a while now buy less by less, But they're up 0:26:24.087 --> 0:26:26.847 against this overwhelming wave of. 0:26:27.007 --> 0:26:30.527 Power, and you know, and this thing of those giants, 0:26:30.527 --> 0:26:32.327 because there's a lot of whistleblowers who have come out 0:26:32.327 --> 0:26:35.327 from the big brands. Their thing that they create a 0:26:35.327 --> 0:26:37.647 product and then once it's on a shelf, they clear 0:26:37.687 --> 0:26:39.807 their hands of it. It's like people are going, no, 0:26:40.007 --> 0:26:42.407 that's not how it works. What then happens to that 0:26:42.447 --> 0:26:45.047 thing when someone has drunk out of it or eaten 0:26:45.047 --> 0:26:46.967 the thing and the plastic still, Like, what are you 0:26:47.007 --> 0:26:49.087 going to do with it? Anyway, if that's making me 0:26:49.087 --> 0:26:50.767 feel depressed, and I have something to see you up, 0:26:50.767 --> 0:26:55.527 which is a product Jesse, I'm sorry, this is just 0:26:58.127 --> 0:27:00.767 this was one of my friends was like, watch by now, 0:27:01.007 --> 0:27:03.567 and then three messages later she was like, this is 0:27:03.567 --> 0:27:05.607 the last thing I'll say, but just like, buy this. 0:27:06.847 --> 0:27:10.127 It'sfoliating thing. And anyway, I looked at it and I 0:27:10.167 --> 0:27:12.247 reckon it took me two seconds. I bought it in store, 0:27:12.287 --> 0:27:13.647 which is slightly better for the environment. 0:27:13.727 --> 0:27:16.287 Hold up, because I haven't watched the documentary. Buying in 0:27:16.327 --> 0:27:17.607 store is better for the environment? 0:27:17.727 --> 0:27:22.247 Yeah, because it's not being sent to your yeah, packaging. Okay, 0:27:22.287 --> 0:27:24.487 So I went in store because I am great Tomberg. 0:27:25.647 --> 0:27:28.207 So I went in and I got it. Is called 0:27:28.287 --> 0:27:32.847 the Wren Micropolish Cleanser. Are in Urrian, that's brand, and 0:27:32.927 --> 0:27:34.767 get it from Mecca. You get it from Mecca, and 0:27:34.807 --> 0:27:36.727 she said, you've got to try. This is giving my 0:27:36.767 --> 0:27:39.447 skin this amazing glow. And because it's the time of 0:27:39.487 --> 0:27:41.647 year where we're wearing a lot of sunscreen, more sunscreen 0:27:41.687 --> 0:27:45.087 than maybe we ordinarily do. I was getting blocked paws 0:27:45.167 --> 0:27:47.927 and I just lots of blemishes. I use this for 0:27:47.927 --> 0:27:50.607 a couple of weeks, all gone, all the little clog 0:27:51.087 --> 0:27:54.687 little ducks, and I get quite obvious black heads on 0:27:54.727 --> 0:27:57.807 my nose. I've tried it every letter of the alphabet 0:27:57.847 --> 0:27:59.487 I have tried on my nose to get rid of them. 0:27:59.567 --> 0:28:03.127 Nothing's ever fixed them. This has reduced their appearance. I 0:28:03.127 --> 0:28:04.447 was looking in the mirror yesterday and I was like, 0:28:04.487 --> 0:28:06.047 this is the only thing that's ever worked on them. 0:28:06.167 --> 0:28:07.127 Like, am I wearing a filter? 0:28:07.487 --> 0:28:10.407 Yes? And then I started getting anxious because I was like, 0:28:10.407 --> 0:28:12.167 maybe this is bad for the environment. So I sent 0:28:12.207 --> 0:28:14.807 it to Lee Campbell and I went, I know microbeads 0:28:14.847 --> 0:28:17.327 are bad. Does this have microbs? No, it doesn't. It's 0:28:17.367 --> 0:28:20.487 all organic and class so you're allowed to use it. 0:28:20.487 --> 0:28:23.767 It is called the ren Micropolish Cleanser. The price varies 0:28:23.767 --> 0:28:26.047 the where you get it from between about forty five 0:28:26.047 --> 0:28:28.967 and fifty five, which is not cheap, but it might 0:28:29.007 --> 0:28:31.367 be a little bit of a Christmas present, and it's 0:28:31.367 --> 0:28:33.727 like giving yourself an at home facial. It's so good. 0:28:33.967 --> 0:28:36.047 Okay, my recommendation. 0:28:36.207 --> 0:28:37.887 Are we buying things? Yeah? 0:28:37.927 --> 0:28:42.007 Well, well, saving and buying in a nice way. So 0:28:42.087 --> 0:28:44.527 I want to recommend an app called cart It. 0:28:44.527 --> 0:28:45.567 It's a free app. 0:28:45.367 --> 0:28:48.567 That you can download and what you do is that 0:28:48.647 --> 0:28:51.087 when you're thinking about buying something online. 0:28:51.127 --> 0:28:53.567 Okay, so let's use what I've got an example for you. Yeah, 0:28:53.767 --> 0:28:56.167 I've been eyeing off a particular pair of shoes for 0:28:56.167 --> 0:28:57.927 a long time, but they're not cheap. 0:28:58.047 --> 0:29:00.687 Great, that's a great example. You copy the url, you 0:29:00.807 --> 0:29:03.647 paste it in this app, and it will notify you 0:29:03.727 --> 0:29:04.727 when there's a discount. 0:29:05.767 --> 0:29:07.327 And it's so good. 0:29:07.407 --> 0:29:09.407 You can make lists and you can make group So 0:29:09.407 --> 0:29:11.487 I have like a list for my mum, my dad, 0:29:11.567 --> 0:29:13.167 my sister, and it's just like things that I think 0:29:13.207 --> 0:29:15.607 they'll be interested in. And then I just wait for 0:29:15.687 --> 0:29:18.247 things to be discounted. And I like, for the past 0:29:18.287 --> 0:29:20.607 like three weeks, I've only bought discounted things. 0:29:21.647 --> 0:29:23.487 So the reason why this is really good and give 0:29:23.527 --> 0:29:26.167 them the trail, tell us Jesse, because we're not buying now. 0:29:26.407 --> 0:29:30.527 No buy now is all about taking away any resistance 0:29:30.607 --> 0:29:32.247 to the buying. So what they've tried to do is 0:29:32.287 --> 0:29:33.687 that you're sitting in bed, you think of something and 0:29:33.727 --> 0:29:34.207 you can buy with that. 0:29:34.447 --> 0:29:36.847 They do it, We all do it. And especially you 0:29:36.887 --> 0:29:39.127 know when I do that when I'm tired and emotional. 0:29:39.287 --> 0:29:40.887 Yes, so it used to be you have to go 0:29:40.887 --> 0:29:42.767 to the shop, blah blah blah. What I like about 0:29:42.767 --> 0:29:45.087 this is that we've got some time to think. Yeah, 0:29:45.127 --> 0:29:47.047 and we're just slowing down and we're waiting for the 0:29:47.087 --> 0:29:50.047 discount rather than like impulsively just buying what we need. 0:29:50.087 --> 0:29:51.207 So I feel like you're paying various. 0:29:51.367 --> 0:29:53.327 And what I've noticed is that I actually delete stuff 0:29:53.327 --> 0:29:55.207 off my list that don't get discount because I get 0:29:55.207 --> 0:29:57.767 pissed off. Yeah, like be discounted, I'll get off my 0:29:57.807 --> 0:29:59.167 list so I don't buy it. 0:29:59.527 --> 0:30:01.727 That's so good in the lead up to Christmas. 0:30:01.327 --> 0:30:05.007 Yeah, and called against Carted great And it's a free 0:30:05.047 --> 0:30:07.407 apt a free app easy after the break. 0:30:07.447 --> 0:30:09.207 Our best and Worst, or as we like to call it, 0:30:09.407 --> 0:30:10.887 our Win and winch of the Week. 0:30:12.087 --> 0:30:15.807 One unlimited out loud access. We drop episodes every Tuesday 0:30:15.847 --> 0:30:19.927 and Thursday exclusively for Mamma Mia subscribers. Follow the link 0:30:19.967 --> 0:30:21.687 in the show notes to get us in your ears 0:30:21.967 --> 0:30:24.687 five days a week. And a huge thank you to 0:30:24.887 --> 0:30:38.767 all our current subscribers. So this is the time of 0:30:39.287 --> 0:30:43.127 our Friday where we can delve into our personal lives 0:30:43.127 --> 0:30:44.727 a little bit more. In case you haven't heard enough 0:30:44.727 --> 0:30:47.527 about us this week. Really Emily vernon, what were your 0:30:47.567 --> 0:30:49.367 best and worst of the week this week? 0:30:49.767 --> 0:30:53.327 My worst of the week is I disappointed a friend 0:30:53.487 --> 0:30:56.007 last week, and she called me out on it. 0:30:56.527 --> 0:30:59.287 Because you're a really good friend and your friends are 0:30:59.367 --> 0:31:01.407 very important to you. Yes, what did you do? 0:31:01.927 --> 0:31:04.087 I didn't realize I was doing this, and I shouldn't 0:31:04.087 --> 0:31:05.687 because I call people out who do this to me. 0:31:05.887 --> 0:31:08.567 But I was meant to get dinner with this friend 0:31:08.687 --> 0:31:11.407 for a while now, and I kept doing the whole 0:31:11.767 --> 0:31:14.247 I'm so sorry, something's come up. I'm so sorry. I'm 0:31:14.247 --> 0:31:16.527 really tired. I'm so sorry. I just can't make it. 0:31:16.887 --> 0:31:20.047 And then I did the thing of like December is 0:31:20.047 --> 0:31:23.287 so crazy for everyone, Like I have so many work events, 0:31:23.407 --> 0:31:25.447 I'm catching up with everyone, I have all this family stuff. 0:31:25.487 --> 0:31:27.087 Do you mind if we just catch up in the 0:31:27.167 --> 0:31:31.527 new year. And she called me out because I've seen 0:31:31.607 --> 0:31:33.407 like a lot of people say, like it's so busy 0:31:33.407 --> 0:31:36.287 for everyone. Everyone just like move everything to the next year, like, 0:31:36.327 --> 0:31:40.047 don't worry about meeting anyone. And she said that she 0:31:40.607 --> 0:31:43.847 is someone whose culture doesn't celebrate Christmas, and she also 0:31:44.007 --> 0:31:46.367 lives in Australia by herself, like a family live overseas, 0:31:46.407 --> 0:31:47.767 so she doesn't have a lot of people here, and 0:31:47.807 --> 0:31:50.687 she's like, to be perfectly honest with you, like I 0:31:50.687 --> 0:31:53.447 don't have anyone here, and every time it's December and Australia, 0:31:53.447 --> 0:31:54.967 I feel like everyone who's puts me on hold till 0:31:54.967 --> 0:31:58.487 the next year. I'm good on her for saying, yea, 0:31:58.567 --> 0:32:00.287 I love her, like she's one of my best friends, 0:32:00.287 --> 0:32:01.647 and I'm so glad she said that. And it just 0:32:01.647 --> 0:32:04.567 made me realize that just because a lot of us 0:32:04.607 --> 0:32:07.527 who I guess celebrate Christmas always say it's so busy, 0:32:07.607 --> 0:32:10.047 it's not for everyone, Like there are so people who 0:32:10.127 --> 0:32:12.447 actually aren't busy this year, and they're just waiting for 0:32:12.487 --> 0:32:14.047 the rest of us to stop being busy. 0:32:14.127 --> 0:32:17.527 You know why that's particularly interesting him is because you 0:32:17.607 --> 0:32:21.167 might assume, and this is like cultural ignorance lots of ways, 0:32:21.567 --> 0:32:24.367 that it's not about celebrating Christmas. It's about the fact 0:32:24.367 --> 0:32:27.687 that suddenly everyone seems to be having parties and all 0:32:27.727 --> 0:32:31.687 those things, but they are all like culturally related to Christmas, right, 0:32:31.727 --> 0:32:34.607 And if that's not your thing, you know, then it's 0:32:34.687 --> 0:32:35.527 it's a different act. 0:32:35.487 --> 0:32:37.247 And depending on your stage of life, Like there are 0:32:37.247 --> 0:32:39.847 some people, yeah, that might be going to Christmas parties 0:32:39.927 --> 0:32:41.607 or kids things or friends things, and then there are 0:32:41.647 --> 0:32:43.847 others who might not have anything on. And actually it's 0:32:43.887 --> 0:32:46.327 just a really depressing time of year because you're also 0:32:46.367 --> 0:32:47.927 comparing yourself to everyone. 0:32:47.647 --> 0:32:49.127 And they're like, Okay, I'll just wait for you till 0:32:49.167 --> 0:32:50.807 jan I guess, like everyone else. 0:32:50.927 --> 0:32:52.807 What did you say? How did it go in this conversation? 0:32:52.887 --> 0:32:55.487 So I was like, you're so right, and I thanked her, 0:32:55.527 --> 0:32:58.727 and I like immediately canceled, like to other friends that 0:32:58.847 --> 0:33:00.567 night so I can hang out with her, because I 0:33:00.607 --> 0:33:02.847 was like, yeah, so it's so fair, And I'm like 0:33:02.927 --> 0:33:05.287 every year, I feel like if you're in this like 0:33:05.367 --> 0:33:07.687 huge Christmas thing that I am with my family where 0:33:07.727 --> 0:33:10.327 I always complain about how to go to family and 0:33:10.367 --> 0:33:12.647 see family or time, it's actually quite a privilege. And 0:33:13.087 --> 0:33:14.327 if you have a friend that just wants to hang out, 0:33:14.367 --> 0:33:15.007 just hang out with them. 0:33:15.287 --> 0:33:17.767 I like that. She said it, Yeah, so what's your best? 0:33:18.087 --> 0:33:20.607 My best is? Oh my god, this is so bad. 0:33:20.687 --> 0:33:23.327 I went on to pitt Street Mall on the weekend 0:33:23.607 --> 0:33:28.287 and oh, by now, literally it was in the midst 0:33:28.367 --> 0:33:31.007 of like that between of like Black Friday sales and 0:33:31.047 --> 0:33:34.167 Cyber Monday sales. Yes, and it was my best because 0:33:34.207 --> 0:33:36.447 I feel like everyone who lives in the city of 0:33:36.527 --> 0:33:37.967 goes in the city on the weekend during this time 0:33:38.007 --> 0:33:41.447 of the year hate it. They're like, everyone's screaming, everyone's angry, 0:33:41.567 --> 0:33:43.807 no one can get what they want. And I love it, like, 0:33:43.887 --> 0:33:46.087 I love it so much. I'm one of those people 0:33:46.127 --> 0:33:49.207 who just loves the hustle and bustle and the prams 0:33:49.207 --> 0:33:52.087 and the crying and the screaming and people yelling at me. 0:33:52.527 --> 0:33:53.927 It's like, fine, you're the second. 0:33:53.967 --> 0:33:55.807 But I heard someone else in the office the other 0:33:55.847 --> 0:33:57.647 day saying I went in real life shopping on the 0:33:57.687 --> 0:33:59.767 weekend and I've forgotten how fun it was. So I 0:33:59.807 --> 0:34:00.687 reckon there's like. 0:34:00.607 --> 0:34:03.447 A return and having for like years with the pandemic, 0:34:03.607 --> 0:34:05.887 and I'm like people watching and watching these families like 0:34:05.887 --> 0:34:08.167 absolutely hate their lives and they're like, they're like, get 0:34:08.207 --> 0:34:09.607 me out of the city, even though I have to 0:34:09.607 --> 0:34:11.767 buy all these gifts and these teenage boys complaining that 0:34:11.767 --> 0:34:13.727 their feet hurt because my mum gives trying on clothes. 0:34:14.047 --> 0:34:15.167 I love it. 0:34:15.167 --> 0:34:16.167 It's great people watching. 0:34:16.167 --> 0:34:19.807 It's so good. There is a buzz about Christmas shopping. 0:34:19.807 --> 0:34:23.007 My worst this is a weird one. I was speaking 0:34:23.047 --> 0:34:25.927 to Holly and Mayer about this earlier this week that 0:34:26.007 --> 0:34:29.207 I've psyched myself out. Let me explain. Before I talked 0:34:29.207 --> 0:34:30.807 about this, I was like, maybe I'll be cryptic, and 0:34:30.807 --> 0:34:32.487 then I went, no, no, no, it's too hard. I'm 0:34:32.527 --> 0:34:35.247 just gonna be honest about it. I did a speaking 0:34:35.247 --> 0:34:37.487 event with Claire over the weekend, which was so much fun. 0:34:37.527 --> 0:34:40.807 We did a canceled live thing right and nothing went wrong. 0:34:41.527 --> 0:34:43.567 But for some reason over that, I would say the 0:34:43.607 --> 0:34:48.887 last few years, my anxiety about speaking has really increased. 0:34:48.887 --> 0:34:51.127 And it's really weird because I think about being a kid, 0:34:51.967 --> 0:34:54.887 and I have always loved, even when I was shy, 0:34:55.327 --> 0:34:58.247 loved speaking in front of people, like I love the 0:34:58.367 --> 0:35:00.487 art of it. I like preparing for it. I like 0:35:00.847 --> 0:35:01.687 the audience. 0:35:01.727 --> 0:35:02.807 It's a big part of your job. 0:35:03.007 --> 0:35:05.087 Yeah, it's a big part of my job. And I've 0:35:05.447 --> 0:35:09.607 liked challenging myself and having mini goals and feeling like 0:35:09.687 --> 0:35:12.207 I'm getting better at a thing, and something has happened 0:35:12.807 --> 0:35:15.527 where I feel like I don't know how to get 0:35:15.567 --> 0:35:18.127 better at that thing, and I walk off stage often 0:35:18.887 --> 0:35:21.247 feeling like I've not done a good job, but I 0:35:21.287 --> 0:35:25.207 can't tangibly say what it was. And it's like I've 0:35:25.207 --> 0:35:29.287 got some weird psychological block or like just I've psyched 0:35:29.287 --> 0:35:29.847 myself out. 0:35:30.007 --> 0:35:31.647 Has this like slowly started, it's happened or was it 0:35:31.687 --> 0:35:32.607 the thing at the moment? 0:35:32.647 --> 0:35:34.607 But a friend said that she was like, did something 0:35:34.647 --> 0:35:36.447 happen that threw you off? And I'm like, I can't 0:35:36.447 --> 0:35:40.367 think of the moment. I've wondered if it is. Since 0:35:40.407 --> 0:35:43.527 having a baby, my anxiety levels are just generally higher, 0:35:44.127 --> 0:35:47.767 and when you get into that hyper arousal anxiety state, 0:35:48.207 --> 0:35:50.967 I'm just thrown into a state where I'm really uncomfortable 0:35:51.007 --> 0:35:53.847 in a way that I wasn't before. And that's affecting me, 0:35:53.967 --> 0:35:56.127 and it's affecting my focus. Like even on stage, I 0:35:56.127 --> 0:35:58.567 feel like I'm being pulled. I'm very in my head 0:35:58.767 --> 0:36:01.007 and I can't get into the moment and I'm not 0:36:01.167 --> 0:36:04.407 enjoying it as much and I want to enjoy it 0:36:04.447 --> 0:36:07.967 and it's one of my favorite things. And so my 0:36:08.087 --> 0:36:10.247 week has been like, oh, I'm going to fix this. 0:36:10.847 --> 0:36:12.847 So I reached out to a bunch of friends who 0:36:13.087 --> 0:36:15.287 work in like stand up comedy, and I was like, 0:36:15.327 --> 0:36:17.127 what do I do, Like, surely I'm not the first 0:36:17.127 --> 0:36:19.767 person to ever experience this. Give me some advice. I 0:36:19.887 --> 0:36:22.487 reached out. This is so wanky, Holly's going to laugh. 0:36:22.847 --> 0:36:31.367 I reached out to a performance psychologist. Honestly, you know 0:36:31.447 --> 0:36:33.367 you've lost a pot in December when you're sending an 0:36:33.407 --> 0:36:36.567 email of inquiry to a performance psychologist. 0:36:36.647 --> 0:36:38.927 This is and I know that this is not a 0:36:38.927 --> 0:36:41.967 helpful thing to say, But anyone who has ever seen 0:36:42.047 --> 0:36:45.727 Jesse speak, like on the TV, on this podcast, in 0:36:45.767 --> 0:36:48.567 the live show, like at a million events that I've 0:36:48.567 --> 0:36:53.207 done with you, You're great? 0:36:53.247 --> 0:36:54.407 How good does she want to be? 0:36:55.287 --> 0:36:58.207 Anyway? I like this about you constantly and self improvement 0:36:59.367 --> 0:37:01.287 the performance psychologists. 0:37:01.687 --> 0:37:03.367 She hasn't got back every yet. But then I reached 0:37:03.407 --> 0:37:05.127 out to my acting friend, who said, you teach me 0:37:05.167 --> 0:37:07.607 some breath work, and I was like, commer holidays, all 0:37:07.647 --> 0:37:09.807 sort of. I'm going to come back do a course 0:37:09.847 --> 0:37:11.927 with MEA and Holly. I'm gonna be like, guys, I 0:37:11.967 --> 0:37:13.607 have invented a course in performance. 0:37:13.847 --> 0:37:15.767 By the time we go on tour next year. 0:37:15.767 --> 0:37:19.487 I am gonna be Michelle O. No one's ever performed 0:37:19.527 --> 0:37:21.287 like Jesse, and I'm going to be in the toilet 0:37:21.327 --> 0:37:25.207 being like blah blah blah blah, like doing my It's 0:37:25.207 --> 0:37:28.167 gonna be amazing. Come to the Out Loud Live show. 0:37:28.207 --> 0:37:30.567 It's gonna be really interesting when I do a tap 0:37:30.647 --> 0:37:36.127 dancing routine. My best was on Sunday. I was going 0:37:36.207 --> 0:37:38.127 to take Luna to the park in the afternoon. Remember 0:37:38.167 --> 0:37:41.687 there was that insane storm. There was hail. It just 0:37:41.847 --> 0:37:44.447 was like apocalyptic outside, and it was about two o'clock 0:37:44.487 --> 0:37:46.847 and I went, oh, no, I'm stuck inside with Luna. 0:37:46.847 --> 0:37:48.487 What are we going to do? I was like, We're 0:37:48.527 --> 0:37:49.847 just going to get in the bath for an hour. 0:37:50.407 --> 0:37:53.247 And I left the bathroom windows all open, so a 0:37:53.247 --> 0:37:54.927 bit of rain was coming in while I was sitting 0:37:54.927 --> 0:37:58.047 in the bar. And we sat there and it was 0:37:58.567 --> 0:38:03.607 one of those idealic afternoons that you picture when you've 0:38:03.607 --> 0:38:05.527 got like a little kid and we just hung in 0:38:05.527 --> 0:38:07.607 the bath with their little boat and a little monkey. 0:38:07.927 --> 0:38:10.207 Lucal walk pass was like Jesi and Luna and we're 0:38:10.287 --> 0:38:12.287 just hanging in the bar like I have. 0:38:12.247 --> 0:38:13.047 Nowhere to be. 0:38:13.647 --> 0:38:17.847 Like ah, it was just the votes relaxing, fulfilling something. 0:38:17.887 --> 0:38:20.007 It was amazing. Holly, what was your worst? 0:38:20.367 --> 0:38:21.807 My worst is related to a lot of what we've 0:38:21.767 --> 0:38:24.087 been talking about today. Actually, it's that this time of year, 0:38:24.207 --> 0:38:26.607 and it happens to us every single year. It's this 0:38:26.687 --> 0:38:29.367 whole how are you oh, just crawling to the end 0:38:29.447 --> 0:38:29.847 of the year. 0:38:29.887 --> 0:38:31.487 We literally had this conversation today. 0:38:31.687 --> 0:38:34.847 Everybody just says the same thing, including me, and for 0:38:35.127 --> 0:38:38.807 parents of school age kids. It is the time when 0:38:39.367 --> 0:38:42.727 everything like it's speech night, and it's Christmas Carols, and 0:38:42.767 --> 0:38:45.727 it's end of year assembly and it's graduation, you know, 0:38:45.847 --> 0:38:48.927 everybody's catch ups, and every year it gets to this 0:38:49.007 --> 0:38:51.927 time of year and we all just start to fall apart. 0:38:52.407 --> 0:38:55.327 And it's funny, because it's not funny, but I'll share 0:38:55.367 --> 0:38:57.247 this because I'm sure there are other parents out there 0:38:57.287 --> 0:38:59.407 like this is that I can't go to a lot 0:38:59.407 --> 0:39:01.567 of the end of year things this year because of work, 0:39:01.807 --> 0:39:05.687 and you feel terrible about it, but also secretly. 0:39:06.647 --> 0:39:07.847 They're really boring. 0:39:08.327 --> 0:39:11.447 Well it's prettyuar. So my son Billy finishes primary school 0:39:11.487 --> 0:39:13.927 this year, which is a really big milestone, and I 0:39:13.967 --> 0:39:15.847 am sad that I can't go to quite a few things, 0:39:16.087 --> 0:39:18.007 but I also have to just face up to my 0:39:18.007 --> 0:39:20.487 life choices and I will be at work at those times, 0:39:21.087 --> 0:39:24.687 and so it's like a lot of emotional like push 0:39:24.727 --> 0:39:26.047 and pull and I should be at that and I 0:39:26.047 --> 0:39:27.687 shouldn't be at that. And then if you are the 0:39:27.687 --> 0:39:29.767 person who's at them all, it's all the logistics. And 0:39:29.807 --> 0:39:32.007 if you've got lots of kids at different schools, like 0:39:32.727 --> 0:39:35.727 no wonder parents get to Christmas and just collapse. 0:39:35.487 --> 0:39:38.087 Like can I ask have your kids outgrown elf on 0:39:38.127 --> 0:39:38.527 the shelf? 0:39:38.647 --> 0:39:41.167 Well, of course they have, but we still have it. 0:39:41.647 --> 0:39:43.767 You still do it, yeah, because you know, we talked 0:39:43.767 --> 0:39:48.007 about one and now Matilda moves it around herself like 0:39:48.807 --> 0:39:52.887 it's like healthy. Because the thing is is, it's like 0:39:53.487 --> 0:39:55.607 what I've learned this year in particular with the age 0:39:55.647 --> 0:39:57.367 of kids around this is, you know the conversations we're 0:39:57.367 --> 0:40:00.807 having about Christmas trees and advent calendars is our Christmas 0:40:00.887 --> 0:40:03.927 traditions are now deeply embedded, so it doesn't really matter 0:40:03.927 --> 0:40:05.847 whether they believe in it or not. They're like first 0:40:05.887 --> 0:40:08.207 of December, the elves arrivee, you know what I mean. 0:40:08.647 --> 0:40:10.487 So it's just kind of part of it now. But 0:40:10.527 --> 0:40:13.687 obviously the pressure is off in that super magical like 0:40:14.047 --> 0:40:15.967 where are they going to be? But we still have 0:40:16.087 --> 0:40:18.167 to do it because it's now become part of the thing. 0:40:18.287 --> 0:40:20.767 But they're not up at five am looking for ELF anymore. 0:40:20.847 --> 0:40:23.687 Well no, but Billy was excited to know if they 0:40:23.727 --> 0:40:25.327 were going to come, and then he wanted to know 0:40:25.367 --> 0:40:27.327 if they were going to change outfits, and he wanted 0:40:27.367 --> 0:40:28.287 to know if they were going to have this and that, 0:40:28.407 --> 0:40:30.687 and like he's too old to really believe, but it's 0:40:30.727 --> 0:40:33.447 just become part of the fun. So you lean into 0:40:33.487 --> 0:40:35.847 all that. But it is just another job. It's crazy. 0:40:35.887 --> 0:40:37.887 So anyway, my worst of the week is the crawling 0:40:37.927 --> 0:40:40.767 to the end of the year. I see you all. 0:40:40.807 --> 0:40:42.767 My best of the week is and this is a 0:40:42.767 --> 0:40:45.807 big one. Right, So I went and had a mammogram 0:40:45.847 --> 0:40:50.567 on Friday. Because I'm fifty something, I now get alerts 0:40:50.647 --> 0:40:53.247 like one of the wonderful things about our wonderful health system, 0:40:53.247 --> 0:40:55.847 which you know it struggles at times, but once you're 0:40:55.847 --> 0:40:58.847 over fifty, you get free breast screens. Right, so you'll 0:40:58.847 --> 0:41:02.687 get a text that says you're due for your mammogram. 0:41:03.007 --> 0:41:05.327 Click this link, make an appointment, come along. I did 0:41:05.327 --> 0:41:07.767 it on Friday. Couldn't have been easier, Like I just 0:41:07.847 --> 0:41:10.287 went to my local one down in an hour, in 0:41:10.367 --> 0:41:12.927 and out, five minutes, etc. The reason why this is 0:41:12.967 --> 0:41:14.967 particularly my best is because the best thing that happened 0:41:14.967 --> 0:41:16.567 to me this week actually is that I caught up 0:41:16.567 --> 0:41:18.887 with one of my good mates Lucy who you know Jesse, 0:41:19.007 --> 0:41:21.687 who we used to work with years ago, and she 0:41:22.127 --> 0:41:26.047 has just completed five months of chemo for breast cancer. 0:41:26.327 --> 0:41:29.327 And she's way younger than me, She's like thirty seven, 0:41:29.567 --> 0:41:31.807 and she has no family history of it, and there 0:41:31.847 --> 0:41:33.847 was no reason to think that might happen to her. 0:41:34.367 --> 0:41:37.207 And she is not out of the woods. She has 0:41:37.247 --> 0:41:40.847 still got radiotherapy and surgery to come. But the reason 0:41:40.887 --> 0:41:43.767 why it's my best is she doesn't live in Sydney. 0:41:43.807 --> 0:41:46.007 She lives in Melbourne and we talk every day. I 0:41:46.047 --> 0:41:48.287 send her a little glimmer every day while she's been 0:41:48.327 --> 0:41:49.887 going through this and we are in tos. But I 0:41:49.927 --> 0:41:53.647 hadn't seen her at all since she'd started her treatment. 0:41:54.487 --> 0:41:56.327 So I saw her because I went down to Melbourne 0:41:56.327 --> 0:41:58.687 for work and it was so lovely and we went 0:41:58.727 --> 0:42:02.887 out for dinner and she is like, you know how 0:42:02.927 --> 0:42:04.767 when you talk about people who are going through really 0:42:04.767 --> 0:42:06.687 hard things, and it's so you want everything to have 0:42:06.727 --> 0:42:08.007 this really neat narrative where. 0:42:07.887 --> 0:42:10.047 It's like it's been harder now you're great. 0:42:10.167 --> 0:42:15.247 It's been like it's been incredibly hard, and she's not great, 0:42:15.527 --> 0:42:20.807 but she's also like still here and doing really well, 0:42:20.847 --> 0:42:23.287 like in terms of just getting through it. 0:42:23.407 --> 0:42:26.367 We're turning up at dinner, she picks. 0:42:26.167 --> 0:42:28.207 Me up to the airport. We just were like, it's 0:42:28.287 --> 0:42:31.607 just so wonderful to see her and to be together 0:42:31.647 --> 0:42:34.247 and hear about all that, and I just feel so lucky. 0:42:35.527 --> 0:42:37.647 I'd say that everybody get your boobs checked, but I 0:42:37.687 --> 0:42:39.207 know that not everybody can just go and get the 0:42:39.207 --> 0:42:41.327 boobs checked the way that you can when you're my age. 0:42:41.687 --> 0:42:45.407 But if anybody is worried about anything in your body, 0:42:45.487 --> 0:42:47.127 just go and check it out. But my best of 0:42:47.127 --> 0:42:48.687 the week, no question, is getting to hang out with 0:42:48.727 --> 0:42:53.047 my wonderful, brave, excellent mate Lucy, who still has some 0:42:53.047 --> 0:42:54.447 stuff ahead of her but has been through a lot 0:42:54.487 --> 0:42:56.007 this year. And we were talking about it, and it 0:42:56.047 --> 0:43:00.087 was one of those conversations where you're like properly deep conversations, 0:43:00.127 --> 0:43:02.247 but also where all the things that she's been through 0:43:02.287 --> 0:43:05.247 this year she'll always have with her, Like she can't 0:43:05.287 --> 0:43:08.047 believe the things that she's got through, you know. 0:43:08.247 --> 0:43:10.167 Out of nowhere, because I and a lump I know 0:43:10.487 --> 0:43:13.607 and that's actually they say. I remember reading once that 0:43:13.727 --> 0:43:15.847 at the beginning of every new season you should check 0:43:15.847 --> 0:43:17.767 your boobs, because I think you meant to check four 0:43:17.767 --> 0:43:19.847 times a year, and it's summer, and it just this 0:43:19.927 --> 0:43:22.567 week summer. So I think it's a very good reminder 0:43:22.607 --> 0:43:25.087 for us all to check for any lump. Because she 0:43:25.167 --> 0:43:27.647 came across a lump at you know, mid thirties Zacht. 0:43:27.767 --> 0:43:29.807 You just wouldn't ever think that was going to happen. No, 0:43:29.967 --> 0:43:32.087 So check your boobs, everybody, do the right thing. 0:43:32.247 --> 0:43:34.687 But also life is good. 0:43:35.127 --> 0:43:39.247 Yes, look, we have one last piece of exciting news 0:43:39.327 --> 0:43:41.767 for our out louders. What happens on this podcast sometimes 0:43:41.807 --> 0:43:44.487 is that Maya promises things and she doesn't follow through, 0:43:44.567 --> 0:43:46.967 and so our executive producer is left to pick up 0:43:47.007 --> 0:43:51.207 the pieces. Maya promised a few weeks ago that the 0:43:51.207 --> 0:43:53.967 best look alike we're talking about Doppelgang, it's you may remember, 0:43:54.327 --> 0:43:55.687 and do you remember who Mayor. 0:43:55.567 --> 0:43:59.487 Looks like so many people but Rachel mcad yeah, yeah, 0:43:59.487 --> 0:44:01.527 But then I saw some photos and I'm like. 0:44:01.727 --> 0:44:04.847 Mate, they were very carefully selective photos. 0:44:05.447 --> 0:44:08.687 Doesn't look quite Rachel McAdams. Anyway, she said, the person 0:44:08.727 --> 0:44:11.887 who came up with the best doppelganger would get a prize, 0:44:11.927 --> 0:44:15.007 and we went through the mummea out Louders Facebook group 0:44:15.327 --> 0:44:18.727 to find the person who delivered, and the winner is 0:44:18.767 --> 0:44:22.647 a woman named Katie Scobel. Katie, can you please message 0:44:22.687 --> 0:44:24.167 us your address because we want to send you something 0:44:24.247 --> 0:44:27.087 very special. But she posted a picture of my doppelganger. 0:44:27.407 --> 0:44:28.367 Actually, who was that? 0:44:28.647 --> 0:44:33.367 Claire? I loved out loud it was so good. And 0:44:33.407 --> 0:44:35.007 then a lot of people actually said, you guys don't 0:44:35.007 --> 0:44:36.807 wannk that alike, and I was like, shut up anyway, 0:44:37.167 --> 0:44:40.327 so get in touch. We want to send you something 0:44:40.687 --> 0:44:43.007 because we are doing the job. 0:44:43.047 --> 0:44:45.607 MAYA should special mention to the person who put in 0:44:45.607 --> 0:44:48.087 that picture of Matilda Brown that does look exactly like me? 0:44:48.247 --> 0:44:53.287 Or actually, oh really yeah? I was like wow, I 0:44:53.287 --> 0:44:56.447 thought it was lots of people. She really does look 0:44:56.527 --> 0:44:58.367 like lots of people. And I want to thank all 0:44:58.367 --> 0:45:00.407 the outlouders for not putting any pictures in of anyone 0:45:00.447 --> 0:45:03.247 who might look like me, because as discussed, it's fraught. 0:45:03.447 --> 0:45:05.647 I think I saw someone put in a Rachel McAdams 0:45:05.687 --> 0:45:07.167 with brown hair thing and I went to roll my 0:45:07.167 --> 0:45:10.167 eyes and then it was like Mia Friedman and I 0:45:10.207 --> 0:45:13.407 was like get off, get out of this group. 0:45:14.167 --> 0:45:16.567 A massive thank you to all of you out louders 0:45:16.567 --> 0:45:18.647 for listening to today's show. We're going to be back 0:45:18.727 --> 0:45:21.887 in your ears next week. Emily Vernon read us out. 0:45:22.287 --> 0:45:25.007 A big thank you to our team, our group. Executive 0:45:25.007 --> 0:45:27.967 producer and snack queen Ruth Divine, who's best of the 0:45:27.967 --> 0:45:30.927 week was her husband starting a new job. It isn't 0:45:30.927 --> 0:45:33.167 a work from home job, so the house is cleaner 0:45:33.207 --> 0:45:37.727 and tidier because he's not there. Our executive producer Emily 0:45:37.727 --> 0:45:40.447 and Gazillas her best is a little smug because she's 0:45:40.487 --> 0:45:43.727 finished her Christmas shopping with humble brag. 0:45:44.647 --> 0:45:47.447 Finished your Christmas shopping shore Dad, What do. 0:45:47.447 --> 0:45:51.567 You need in a producer? Someone who finished can help. 0:45:52.767 --> 0:45:55.967 Our audio producer is Leah Porge's annoying Holly by putting 0:45:56.007 --> 0:45:58.167 up a Christmas tree on the first of December. 0:45:59.407 --> 0:46:00.967 First of December is just possible. 0:46:01.047 --> 0:46:04.847 That's okay well, And our video producer Josh Green, his 0:46:04.967 --> 0:46:07.927 best of the week was fishing with family, catching a 0:46:07.967 --> 0:46:10.367 bunch of flathead fish and cooking it up for dinner 0:46:10.447 --> 0:46:10.887 that night. 0:46:11.087 --> 0:46:12.607 Every stereotype I have about men. 0:46:13.087 --> 0:46:14.727 Thank God is not single, because he would just have 0:46:14.767 --> 0:46:17.927 that fish photo he would Wow. 0:46:17.967 --> 0:46:21.727 Impressive, Fu Louders, have a good weekend out loud as. 0:46:21.727 --> 0:46:24.087 We know you're not ready to say goodbye, which is 0:46:24.127 --> 0:46:28.207 why we're sharing a sneak peek of yesterday's subscriber episode. 0:46:28.407 --> 0:46:31.727 Holly and I answered your burning questions in another edition 0:46:31.767 --> 0:46:35.687 of Ask us anything, including the alternate career paths we 0:46:35.807 --> 0:46:36.687 might have taken. 0:46:36.967 --> 0:46:40.487 A psychologist there. I thought about that, and then and 0:46:40.527 --> 0:46:42.367 I know this is going to make me really unpopular 0:46:42.407 --> 0:46:46.727 for saying this. Too much winging, like I would find 0:46:46.767 --> 0:46:50.127 it frustrating. And I don't get me wrong, I've spoke 0:46:50.207 --> 0:46:52.407 to plenty of psychologists of my own winging, but I 0:46:52.447 --> 0:46:55.247 would find it a bit frustrating. I think if people 0:46:55.327 --> 0:46:58.207 were like, tell him and tell me, and I'd be like, Okay, 0:46:58.207 --> 0:46:59.487 what are we going to do about that? And then 0:46:59.527 --> 0:47:01.527 they just I might find the winging a bit of it. 0:47:01.687 --> 0:47:04.447 I would find the winging annoying if the person before 0:47:04.487 --> 0:47:07.207 them had objectively bigger problems, like I think I would 0:47:07.247 --> 0:47:09.767 A link you will be in the show notes. Shout 0:47:09.767 --> 0:47:12.367 out to any Mum and me a subscribers listening. If 0:47:12.367 --> 0:47:14.327 you love the show and you want to support us 0:47:14.607 --> 0:47:17.527 subscribing to muma mia is the very best way to 0:47:17.567 --> 0:47:20.007 do so. There's a link in the episode description.