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Speaker 1: Hi, It's Analse Todd, host of Mamma MEA's parenting podcast,

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Speaker 1: This Glorious Mess. I'm dropping into your feed because we

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Speaker 1: actually had the host of four five six Club, the brilliant,

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Speaker 1: the funny, the clever, the witty, Kath Mahoney come in

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Speaker 1: and visit us and chat all about the teen years

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Speaker 1: and the parenting last that you don't see coming. It

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Speaker 1: was funny, it's unfiltered. It's hilarious, but also a little

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Speaker 1: bit sad, like some of the parenting moments you don't

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Speaker 1: realize will be last and I hope you enjoy it. Hello,

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Speaker 1: and welcome to this glorious Mess. We're embracing the chaos together,

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Speaker 1: ditching the judgment. I'm Analse Todd, and help. I have

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Speaker 1: a teenager. My elders just turned thirteen. Send thoughts and press. Wow,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it's happening. I know I'm taking a

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Speaker 1: tolly and I had three kids in a year, so

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Speaker 1: they're now six and seven. And I'm so scared for

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Speaker 1: you because I don't know what it's worse, like three

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Speaker 1: toddlers all at once, or when I have three teens

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Speaker 1: all at once. I think three teenagers. Oh, don't because

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Speaker 1: it goes for longer. It's so true, especially when they're

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Speaker 1: like three of them spaced out of yet. Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: And today on the show, we're bringing in a friend, writer, comedian,

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Speaker 1: and host of Mumma MIA's four five six Club podcast,

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Speaker 1: Catherine Mahoney. She's a few years down the track than us,

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Speaker 1: as her son Lewis just turned sixteen, so she's going

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Speaker 1: to be our oracle into the future and scare us

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Speaker 1: by sharing the pain points of her current stage of parenting.

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Speaker 1: And we're also going to be touching on the things

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Speaker 1: you don't realize you will miss about parenting until they're gone. Yes,

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Speaker 1: all those little irritating, challenging things that you might currently loathe.

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Speaker 1: One day soon you'll actually might miss them. Yep. And

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Speaker 1: how you never quite know when things will be your last,

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Speaker 1: you know, the last last get me and the first

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Speaker 1: and then all the last. I think the last are

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Speaker 1: so much sad because the first exciting, and it's like

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Speaker 1: they've achieved something. It's likest is like and usually you

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Speaker 1: don't realize it in that moment. It's like you know,

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Speaker 1: or you know, the other day, I'm like, I can't

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Speaker 1: carry you guys to bed. Anymore, you're too heavy. I know,

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Speaker 1: I still end up doing it. I wish it was

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Speaker 1: the bloody last that is coming up very soon our

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Speaker 1: chat with Kather and I cannot wait. Oh, I cannot

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Speaker 1: wait too. But first, here's what's happening in my group chat.

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Speaker 1: So I came across a TikTok this week. Oh you

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Speaker 1: love it? Well, you've really got me into the cheek talking.

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Speaker 2: Anyway.

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Speaker 1: It's a well known actor Kiri Kasara, and she shared

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Speaker 1: a TikTok hack on how to solve this dilemma and

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Speaker 1: save arguing. Oh okay, well now I'm yes, So like

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Speaker 1: are you are you? You're a decisive person, aren't you? Alice?

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Speaker 1: Mostly yes? Okay, how about in relationships, you know, like

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Speaker 1: when it's like, oh, what do you feel like for dinner?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: No, I am one trillion percent decis Yeah, you'd be

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Speaker 1: like I absolutely need to eat this. Yes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So this hack is like a marriage hack that saves arguments.

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Speaker 1: So basically it's bringing in It's called the fifty to

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Speaker 1: fifty marriage hack, and it's all about the percentage of

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Speaker 1: what you want to do and then your partner's percentage

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Speaker 1: of where they're at. And that's like your negotiation percentage rates.

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Speaker 1: Let me give you an I've got. Yes, I can

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Speaker 1: see the last I need pins and streams of your

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Speaker 1: life examples. I'm your boyfriend, my friend had I walk

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Speaker 1: in and we're going to go out for dinner. All right,

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Speaker 1: what are you leaning towards? What do you feel like

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Speaker 1: to eat for dinner? I feel like Indian ninety percent? Okay,

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Speaker 1: and tie ten percent. Oh that's really uncomfortable for me

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Speaker 1: because I don't like Indian food, but because I know

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Speaker 1: you want it so badly, ninety percent, Like that's a

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Speaker 1: pretty high percentage. I might have been like, oh, look,

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Speaker 1: I only wanted Indian fifty percent. I could have done

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Speaker 1: tie fifty percent, but you know what, because you are

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Speaker 1: like ninety percent wanting your Indian food, Yes, we'll go

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Speaker 1: with Indian tonight. Right. So it's about putting a compromising

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Speaker 1: It's like it's like putting your cards on the table

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Speaker 1: in terms of like, no, this matters like this much

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Speaker 1: to me, and this doesn't really matter as much to me,

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Speaker 1: And then the other person can go, Okay, well, I

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Speaker 1: can see that that really matters to you and this

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Speaker 1: doesn't really matter to me. So let's meet here. So

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Speaker 1: it's like a communication compromise tool. It is like compromise negotiation,

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Speaker 1: meet in the middle, and you can use it for

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Speaker 1: anything anything like yes, whether to go out on a Saturday,

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Speaker 1: Like yeah, do you want to stay in or go out?

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Speaker 1: Like how much do you want to go out on

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Speaker 1: I'm like twenty percent go out And it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: but you know, I'm like eighty percent want to go out. Okay,

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Speaker 1: well I can find another thirty percent and meet you there.

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Speaker 1: Because when you're making decisions, it's so easy to be

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Speaker 1: indecisive with language, so you don't really know where the

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Speaker 1: other person's coming from. And often like sometimes and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, you do know, but you just don't

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Speaker 1: like you don't want to say it, or you're not

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Speaker 1: sure which one. But if you put your two options,

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Speaker 1: like you're both picking two options at whatever percentage you want,

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Speaker 1: and then the other person brings their two options with

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Speaker 1: their percentages that they want, and then you together can

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Speaker 1: come up with a little and equally decided decision. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to use this tactic and totally this is my

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Speaker 1: second favorite thing You've ever brought it to pop that

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Speaker 1: what was the first The karaoke where there was women

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Speaker 1: fighting over the last time. Oh that was my first favorite. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: Oh you're going to say with my David. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's probably now third. Okay. So, Annalise, you caught up

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Speaker 1: with your mate recently, the very funny comedian and author

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Speaker 1: Kath Mahoney, and she wanted to frighten you about having

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Speaker 1: a teenager. Well, you've already frightened me about you having

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Speaker 1: a teenager, and also frighten us about what you now

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Speaker 1: can expect now that you've got one. Her son, Lewis,

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Speaker 1: has just turned sixteen, and I can't wait to hear

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Speaker 1: what she had to say. Kath Mahoney, Hi, welcome to

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Speaker 1: this glorious mess. I've brought you in today because help

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Speaker 1: I have a teenager.

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Speaker 2: Congratulations, thank you. So I both made it this far.

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Speaker 1: I know, just but it's my first and so I'm scared.

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Speaker 1: And of course we've all been absolutely terrified by the

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Speaker 1: Netflix series Adolescence. Oh, I know, it couldn't be a

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Speaker 1: scarier time literally to have a teenager. So you're a

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Speaker 1: few years down the track. Lewis is sixteen. Yeah, just

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Speaker 1: turned sixteen.

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Speaker 2: My freak out because I keep reverting to what I

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Speaker 2: was doing at sixteens.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, I'm like, no, dying in a field.

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Speaker 2: No, it's literally literally in a jumpsuit catsuit situation. That

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Speaker 2: never looked very good. So it's probably too short in

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Speaker 2: the leg dancing to rave music. Luckily, I think he

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Speaker 2: won't be doing that.

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Speaker 1: No, definitely not in a cat suit.

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Speaker 2: No, totally fine.

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Speaker 1: If it's totally.

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Speaker 2: Fine, yeah, it's it's just strange, strange time.

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Speaker 1: Do you know why I was thinking this morning? I

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Speaker 1: still feel like a teenager, so it doesn't feel right

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Speaker 1: that I have one.

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Speaker 2: As they get older, you realize more and more and

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Speaker 2: more how your parents were winging it. Like you look

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Speaker 2: to your parents when you were a kid, and you

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Speaker 2: were like they know everything. And now I have a

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Speaker 2: sixteen year old and I'm fifty. I still go, I

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Speaker 2: know nothing. What does Reddit say about that? Let's get

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Speaker 2: on Google. Let's call a friend. I don't know I

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Speaker 2: have called a friend?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so what like? What am what am I walking

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Speaker 1: into here? What do I need to expect? Look out for?

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Speaker 2: Look? I think they all, well, you know you have

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Speaker 2: a boy.

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Speaker 1: I have a boy.

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Speaker 2: I have friends who've got daughters, and I go, oh, glad,

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Speaker 2: I've got the boy. I mean, I think I feel

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Speaker 2: very lucky that Lewis is a delicious kid, Like he

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Speaker 2: really is a good young man. But you know, stuff

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Speaker 2: happens and it is and it is as you are told.

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Speaker 2: Suddenly you literally feel like the uber chef money provider. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, where can I start the fridge?

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Speaker 2: So I'm a solo parent like you. It's just me

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Speaker 2: and lou or me, so I kind of know what

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Speaker 2: I've put in the fridge will be there tomorrow. So

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Speaker 2: if I overcook for dinner, that's fine. I can have

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Speaker 2: that for lunch or send it off for lous school.

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Speaker 2: Except teenagers do things like when you go to bed,

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Speaker 2: they just go back to the fridge. He's like a

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Speaker 2: he's sort of like a I don't know. He's like

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Speaker 2: a swarm of locusts through my fridge. Nothing stays there,

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Speaker 2: so you've got food ahead of you, got really long showers.

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Speaker 1: Good?

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Speaker 2: Not good? If they indicate what some other friends with

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Speaker 2: older boys have said, they indicate.

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Speaker 1: Right, what else comes?

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Speaker 2: Food bill?

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Speaker 1: Water bill?

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Speaker 2: Food bill is ridiculous. Also, I want to go to

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Speaker 2: sleep now about nine o'clock. I would rather like, I

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Speaker 2: would rather wake up at sort of five thirty or

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Speaker 2: six in the morning and be asleep for nine Lewis

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Speaker 2: I have to like pitchfork him out of bed in

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Speaker 2: the morning, but he's still wide awake late into the night.

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Speaker 2: So we are definitely on a different trajectory when it

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Speaker 2: comes to sleep time.

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Speaker 1: And can you tell them to go to sleep? Still

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Speaker 1: have juris junctions.

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Speaker 2: No, you don't have a lot. You don't have the

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Speaker 2: power that you used to have when they were little. Sadly, yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: you don't have really any control.

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Speaker 1: When I look at the difference between like my girlfriends

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Speaker 1: who have daughters going through this, I think for girls

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Speaker 1: it's the emotions. It's a lot of emotions. And my

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Speaker 1: favorite story is like my girlfriend the other day, she

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, we've both at our period. We're in sync.

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Speaker 1: My poor husband. Do people having their period at the

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Speaker 1: same time.

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Speaker 2: My friend's just in that situation whereas Lewis and I

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Speaker 2: are his teenage hormones. And I was like, perimenopause, Oh

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Speaker 2: that's hot. So that was hard. That was like he

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Speaker 2: didn't know what was going on with his body or

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Speaker 2: his emotions. I didn't know what was going on with

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Speaker 2: my body or emotions. At least I'm on the hr

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Speaker 2: Tin now. Paul louis just having to push through. But

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Speaker 2: we did. We had the big discussion. You know, you're

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Speaker 2: going through all of these changes, so is mum. So

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Speaker 2: if you do not on the fourth time, I ask

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Speaker 2: you to take the Apple and Chris packets from the

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Speaker 2: corner of your room because it's not actually dedicated. Ben.

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Speaker 2: If you don't do it on the fourth time, I

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Speaker 2: will turn out like the Banshee from Ghostbusters.

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Speaker 1: We had parenting guru Jen Mure on the show a

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Speaker 1: while ago, and I remember she said to me, She's like,

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Speaker 1: the thing with teenage boys is it's and I know

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Speaker 1: this isn't scientific, but it's almost like the hormones that

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Speaker 1: they're experiencing sort of crumples their front lobe, so their

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Speaker 1: actual function is less than it used to be. And

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Speaker 1: so they could literally walk past a pair of shoes

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Speaker 1: and say, where are my shoes. It's like they don't

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Speaker 1: see things anymore. It's so frustrating.

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Speaker 2: It's really frustrating. I can have like bags of rubbish

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Speaker 2: by the front door and Lewis will step over them

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Speaker 2: like we're on the fourth floor of an Art deco building.

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Speaker 2: No lift, So you'll fill like a sherpa going up

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Speaker 2: and down. So it's like, if we're going, let's make

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Speaker 2: a job of it. He'll walk over that stuff, the towel.

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Speaker 2: The towel I've trained him to understand won't dry on

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Speaker 2: the floor, So that's been a really big shift for him. Yeah, binsins,

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Speaker 2: bin's irrelevant. I started to notice things out near the

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Speaker 2: bins outside our block and lou said, I just sometimes

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Speaker 2: I'm just try and throw the apple call. I'm like, Louis,

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Speaker 2: you know, come on, So bins are terrible, food is terrible,

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Speaker 2: Homework is a bit of a chore.

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Speaker 1: Did that start out well? Because I feel like we're

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Speaker 1: starting out well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you start out well, Everything starts out well. You're

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Speaker 2: in the honeymoon period. You really are, you really are.

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Speaker 2: And there's this kind of smell that they have. You

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Speaker 2: probably haven't hit smell yet where they just it must

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Speaker 2: just be hormones. I've checked with friends who've got older

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Speaker 2: sons and they're like, there's just a smell about them.

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Speaker 1: Although if they shower and the eyes showering.

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Speaker 2: There's just like a smell. Although sometimes I will catch

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Speaker 2: Lewis just putting his deodorant like over his jumper. Oh god,

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Speaker 2: we need to we need to go into the armpit situation.

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Speaker 2: It's not going to help if it's just on your jumper. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they're a joy. They also don't you talk to them,

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Speaker 2: So that lovely sort of two way conversation that you

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Speaker 2: have stops and only resumes if they want to chat.

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Speaker 2: So out of nowhere, they'll ask you something and it

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Speaker 2: will be quite a deep conversation. It's usually in the

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Speaker 2: car for me and I side by side the face

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Speaker 2: and you're like, oh, I'm back in a real person.

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Speaker 2: Let's have a conversation, you know. And then other times,

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Speaker 2: like on the weekend we went down the coast to

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Speaker 2: spend some time with my folks who are here from

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Speaker 2: the UK and Lewis, I'm so excited we're all going

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Speaker 2: to be together as a family. And then he got

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Speaker 2: in the car and for the next hour and half

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Speaker 2: put his ear pods in sign the front with me.

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Speaker 2: I just was like, right, he's.

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Speaker 1: A great time. He's usually much better, I promise.

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Speaker 2: But this is all normal. Apparently this is all normal.

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Speaker 2: And I have to say, you know, so far touched

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Speaker 2: towards he's a pretty good kid.

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Speaker 1: One of the things that I've heard is that can

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Speaker 1: be really tricky for people. And I think it was

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Speaker 1: different for you and I because we had the solo

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Speaker 1: parenting experience, so we had independence already. But it's that

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Speaker 1: it's that real letting go. And if you don't have

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Speaker 1: something else in your life other than your children and

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Speaker 1: they are your entire focus because they are pulling away

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Speaker 1: from you, that can be so tricky because then you're

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Speaker 1: a bit like, oh, what do I do now.

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Speaker 2: It's a funny thing, you know, I lou he was

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Speaker 2: five when my ex husband and I split up. So

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Speaker 2: for the last almost well eleven years now, we've never

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Speaker 2: we haven't been together all the time, so you do

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Speaker 2: get used to that. What I was talking to another

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Speaker 2: friend who's a solo parent with it with teenage kids

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Speaker 2: was as they get older, having them in the house

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Speaker 2: can feel more lonely because when they're not there, you're

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Speaker 2: out and about doing your own thing. When they are there,

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Speaker 2: they're still at an age where you have to be there,

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Speaker 2: cook the dinner, make sure they are doing the homework,

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Speaker 2: eventually going to bed. You know, you can't be out gallivanting.

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Speaker 2: You're still a parent, but they want zero to do

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Speaker 2: with you. So it's like you have gone at the

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Speaker 2: times where you're like, should we watch a show together?

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Speaker 2: Totally gone, No, So you literally will make the food.

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Speaker 2: They may or may not converse with you while you

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Speaker 2: eat the food together. Then they're in the bedroom. That's it.

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Speaker 2: So you know, I find that more lonely think sometimes

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Speaker 2: and when then when he's not there.

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Speaker 1: I love watching te I mean we don't watch kid shows.

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Speaker 1: We watch like Real Housewives of Sydney bald Ones that

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Speaker 1: may stop, that stopped for us, that's actually happened.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And also it's that moment where you realize that

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Speaker 2: they are their own person and not not not that

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Speaker 2: you ever think that they're like possession, but when they're smaller,

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Speaker 2: they hold hand, You hold hands with them walking across

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Speaker 2: the road, You hug them, you bath and whatever you do.

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Speaker 2: And then they get to a point obviously where it's

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Speaker 2: like it's their personal space, you know. So now I'm like,

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Speaker 2: can have a hug? You know, you don't just go

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Speaker 2: in for the hug. Can I have a hug? And

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Speaker 2: nine nights up of ten, it's like oh, or it's

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Speaker 2: a cheek or it's okay, but can you put some

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Speaker 2: money in my spriggy or are we having sushi? Can

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Speaker 2: you not cook? I'll give you a hug. Like it's

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Speaker 2: just real like trade off.

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Speaker 1: And it's that thing where you go from being the

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Speaker 1: main character in their story to the driver. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Literally, but I think it comes back round apparently. And

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Speaker 2: as my mum said, as I said, she's here from

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Speaker 2: the UK, we're talking about it at sixteen. If he

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Speaker 2: didn't have the life that he had and his you know,

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Speaker 2: fishing and surfing and sports and school friends and he

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Speaker 2: just wanted to spend twenty four to seven with me

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Speaker 2: watching Watch, that would also be concerning. So you know

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Speaker 2: that everything that they're doing touch Wood is on track

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Speaker 2: for life, but it's not easy as a parent.

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Speaker 1: No, it's not coming up. After this shortbreak, Kath's shares

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Speaker 1: the moments she misses, and some of the last that

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Speaker 1: you don't realize will be your last until they go on.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to tissue for this take. That's next. So

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Speaker 1: Kath Mahony, we've just been talking about the pain points

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Speaker 1: of parenting teens, and you know, you're the sun at

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Speaker 1: age sixteen. You've only got two more years until he's

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Speaker 1: an actual grown up.

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Speaker 2: Which is just scare we're about to start driving lessons.

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Speaker 2: It's very scary awful.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to sort of reflect and think back. For

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Speaker 1: people who are listening, they're in the trenches. They have

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Speaker 1: what we're experiencing and going through to look forward to,

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Speaker 1: but what they're currently in. Sometimes, you know, at the

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Speaker 1: end of the day, you're like, oh, I've been pushing

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Speaker 1: that kid on the swing for fifty hours this week,

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Speaker 1: and it's just like the little things that great you.

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Speaker 1: But when you're coming out the other side, how does

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Speaker 1: it feel looking back retrospectively that that was like the

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Speaker 1: last Oh.

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Speaker 2: It's very sad. I mean, it's funny. You do put

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Speaker 2: your rose colored glasses on, you know, I did. I

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Speaker 2: did think about pushing Leu on the swing the other day.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I never did that again. I mean

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Speaker 2: I will, but he would be a big person on

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Speaker 2: the swing and then I have to snap out of

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Speaker 2: it and go, remember how much you hey the park,

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Speaker 2: especially as a solo parent. He hated that. Why the

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Speaker 2: other day, my boobs did this weird thing.

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Speaker 1: Did they tingle?

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Speaker 2: They tingled, and I was like, oh my gosh, breastfeeding.

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Speaker 2: I'll have a breastfeed again. And again I'm like, why

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Speaker 2: am I missing the soreness? But it's kind of you

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Speaker 2: don't know it's your last you know, you don't know

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Speaker 2: it's the last time you're going to breastfeed, if that

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Speaker 2: was what you chose to do. Until it's over, you

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Speaker 2: don't realize that it's going to be the last time

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Speaker 2: that they want to hold your hat, that they try

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Speaker 2: to hold your hand across the road. So it is,

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Speaker 2: it is sad. Things like I want to put Cars,

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Speaker 2: the movie on which was the bane of my life.

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Speaker 2: Now I want to watch Lightning McQueen, yeah, with lou

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Speaker 2: because we but you know, on the millions time, you

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Speaker 2: were like, I can't watch this anymore. But now I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I'd love to just watch Cars, but he won't watch

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Speaker 2: anything anything, not really No.

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Speaker 1: That's I honestly like, this will be a dark day

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Speaker 1: for me. I love watching DV with my kids.

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Speaker 2: Also, what do I miss? I miss the baby smell? Yes,

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Speaker 2: kind of it just goes so quickly, and you do

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Speaker 2: you just those mornings when they wake you up at

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Speaker 2: five in the morning, You're like, I cannot wait till

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Speaker 2: you're a teenager and you don't want to get out

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Speaker 2: of bed. Yeah, and yet now I think I miss that.

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Speaker 2: I miss being the stylist. Oh right, I miss being

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Speaker 2: like in charge of the wardrobe and the hair. That

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Speaker 2: is really difficult to let go of because as my

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Speaker 2: mum did not like the way that I dressed at sixteen,

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Speaker 2: all my hairstyles. I'm feeling the sort of saying about loo.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I liked when I could put him in his little navy.

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Speaker 1: Mite striper, and I like the little sailor.

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Speaker 2: I liked when I could be like, oh, could we

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Speaker 2: just have the peaky blinders kind of can we have

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Speaker 2: that kind of nineteen twenties undercut that's really cool? Now

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Speaker 2: it's that horrible kind of straight line mullet thing that's

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Speaker 2: still hanging around like a bad smell. Let that go.

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Speaker 2: What do you think you'll miss?

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Speaker 1: I remember, but when you've got two and they're little,

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Speaker 1: so you've got like a little baby and a toddler,

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Speaker 1: and it's like that witching hour, And I remember like

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Speaker 1: having anxiety leading up to like four point thirty five

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Speaker 1: o'clock because I knew it was coming, because you've got

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Speaker 1: to do the bath and the dinner, and then everyone's

390
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Speaker 1: got different schedules and feeding and everyone's just cranky. But

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Speaker 1: now I think just having them like giggling and gurgling

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Speaker 1: in a bath and playing with little toys, like how delightful.

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Speaker 1: But at the time it was the most stressful thing

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Speaker 1: in the universe ever.

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Speaker 2: It was horrible. But I'm the same. I missed that washing,

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Speaker 2: the hair, the toys, the come on, you've been in

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Speaker 2: long enough, let's get out, and exactly that knowing that

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Speaker 2: you're on that kind of bedtime role where it's like

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Speaker 2: all going to be smacked down by seven.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I even just I loved because I had

401
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Speaker 1: quite a lot of time at home with babies and

402
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Speaker 1: on matt leave, and I did freelancing, so I was

403
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Speaker 1: really lucky. I had a lot of time at home

404
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Speaker 1: and I loved. This sounds ridiculous, but just make believe

405
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Speaker 1: play like I loved, you know, making up pretend worlds

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Speaker 1: and doing vets and all of that silly stuff. Well,

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Speaker 1: just even just flying around toys to music. We used

408
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Speaker 1: to How to Train Your Drag Dragon was our cars,

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Speaker 1: and so we had all the drag and figurines and

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Speaker 1: we'd put the movie soundtrack on and just like run

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Speaker 1: around flying dragons, like, oh, it's so fun.

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Speaker 2: It's hard isn't it when it goes? And you also

413
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Speaker 2: know what's in the fridge because they can't reach the fridge. Yes,

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Speaker 2: so that was I do miss that, and they miss being,

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Speaker 2: you know again, being the chef, but going like this

416
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 2: is the option. There is no other option. You don't

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Speaker 2: even know. You don't like this yet, so you'll be

418
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Speaker 2: eating this, yes, and being asked things mom, mom, like

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Speaker 2: that snow. I'm like there were snow anything.

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Speaker 1: Because they just ask Siri. Yes, they don't need to ask.

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00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 2: They don't ask us anymore.

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Speaker 1: Siri is their new parent. Now.

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Speaker 2: I almost missed the car seat because I thought it

424
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Speaker 2: was struck in the back, and then I thought, no,

425
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Speaker 2: I don't miss the car seat, And that's sort of

426
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Speaker 2: point whether you're about to break you back. They're getting

427
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 2: a bit too heavy to put them in the car seat. Yes,

428
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Speaker 2: don't miss the prams. No, I definitely don't miss a

429
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 2: prem don't miss nappy changing. No, don't miss having to

430
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 2: have a handbag the size of a house with all

431
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 2: of the stuff in.

432
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you I don't miss I've got it?

433
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:22,439
Speaker 2: Are you still on that? Oh?

434
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,159
Speaker 1: I've got a big hairbag, but it's alicely full of

435
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 1: like makeup and do you I don't like stuff for me.

436
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 2: Your stuff exactly much better than raisins and tissues and

437
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 2: nappy white.

438
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 1: And corn thin's. Oh, kids parties.

439
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 2: I never thought I would miss kids parties. Oh you do,

440
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 2: miss well? I miss the fact that you get to

441
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 2: a point where you're not even included in the birthday. Yeah,

442
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 2: so that's you know, you go from I used to

443
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 2: have real trauma around the party and the cake and

444
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:54,920
Speaker 2: what you're doing and the lolli bags and the activities.

445
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 2: That was always really stressful. Then you get to a

446
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 2: point where you can do the let's go bowling or

447
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 2: pick four friends, go the movies, And then you get

448
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 2: to the point where it's like, can you just put

449
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 2: some money on my card? Mom? And Christmas that would

450
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 2: be my last big miss. Oh no, Christmas changes, doesn't

451
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:14,679
Speaker 2: it when their thoughts around the big Man in Red change.

452
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 2: I don't know who's listening to this, so I don't

453
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 2: want any spoiler alerts around Santa. But yeah, Christmas. Christmas

454
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,360
Speaker 2: when they would wake up at five and you would say,

455
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,919
Speaker 2: we're not going downstairs to see if he's been for

456
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 2: another two hours now, it would be about eleven o'clock,

457
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 2: Lou And it's my birthday on Christmas, so I'm a

458
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 2: bit like, let's go, oh, what have we got?

459
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: No, that's half the day. The magic of Christmas is gone.

460
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 1: The Grinch has taken over.

461
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 2: Yes, and Lo's good when he's with Dad because they

462
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 2: have he's got a little sister, so he allows the

463
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 2: magic when he's you know, he's if it's a dad Christmas.

464
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:56,119
Speaker 2: But at mine, yeah, zero Christmas feels, and that that

465
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,439
Speaker 2: feeling when he would when he officially stopped wanting to

466
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 2: watch any Christmas movie in the lead up, or want

467
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,160
Speaker 2: to put the tree up, or help with the tree,

468
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 2: or decorate the tree that I would then redecorate when

469
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 2: you went.

470
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 1: To bed, because it's so bad every time.

471
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 2: That was crushing as a Christmas person, that's probably that's

472
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 2: probably one of the things I miss the most.

473
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 1: I cannot believe that Christmas will be dead soon.

474
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 2: Hallowe No, you've got how old the youngest ten you've got?

475
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 2: You've got a few years because they hang on for

476
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 2: a while because they don't want to admit they're not

477
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,119
Speaker 2: sure in case the presents do stop.

478
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 1: Oh no, we're definitely beyond the fantasy of Christmas.

479
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 2: Okay, but they're still so easy to fall into it.

480
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:42,439
Speaker 1: Yes, love, I enjoy that, Yes, enjoy that. So for

481
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 1: anyone listening, if you're waking up at five am this

482
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 1: coming Christmas, just remember Kath Mahoney will be would love

483
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 1: to join it.

484
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 2: Because it's like I just you get to do it.

485
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 2: You forget, You don't realize that you're going to miss

486
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 2: all of these festivities.

487
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 1: So it's the rituals. Yes, I hadn't really thought about

488
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 1: the rituals. It's like, yeah, the trick or treating, the

489
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:09,200
Speaker 1: egg hunting, they're putting out the little carrots for Santa, and.

490
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 2: The tooth fairy when they get between fifty cents and

491
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 2: fifty dollars depending on what you've got, and when the

492
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 2: tooth comes out. So yeah, there would be some of

493
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 2: the things I miss.

494
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 1: I hadn't thought about that, the rituals.

495
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe the upside is enjoy all of the bits, Yes,

496
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 2: even the pushing of the swing in the park and

497
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 2: the prem yeah hill, even knowing that the stuff in

498
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 2: your hair may or may not be regogated food.

499
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: No, and you didn't eat the joy and the giggles

500
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 1: of the bath. That would be my thing like, I

501
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 1: wish I didn't dread that so much, And I just

502
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 1: really like lapped up the magic and the joy of

503
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 1: little babies playing in water, so.

504
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 2: Silly, silly and fun fun because they That's another thing

505
00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 2: with teenager I guess their fun doesn't necessarily involve you anymore.

506
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 2: When they're little and they're joyful and fun, you get

507
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 2: to experience it. When they're a bit older. Yeah, you're

508
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 2: not invited to the fun bit.

509
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're not the main character.

510
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 2: Not the main character. You are the chef or the driver. Yeah,

511
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 2: and you also have all this. What I've noticed about

512
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 2: being a parent to a teenager is you hold on

513
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,479
Speaker 2: to things, you know, Like if Lou's upset about a

514
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 2: situation about not being picked for something or sport, I

515
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 2: will then have trauma for like the next week, and

516
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 2: then the next time I mentioned it, he said, I.

517
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 1: Oh't know, I've moved on. Yeah.

518
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 2: He had a school dance. He's a bit taller now,

519
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 2: but he's quite little. A couple of years ago he

520
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 2: had a school dance. With it that he's in a

521
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 2: same sex school. They had a school dance and he

522
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 2: was quite upset because some of the girls wouldn't dance

523
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 2: with him and laugh because he's little. Oh, and I

524
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 2: mentioned it the other day because he's had a gross

525
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:52,199
Speaker 2: spurt now he's getting quite tall, and I said, I

526
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 2: said I would still if I met those girls, I

527
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 2: would end to them. And Lewis was like, oh, Mom,

528
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 2: I can't even remember that. I lie in bed wondering

529
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 2: who they were and you've let it go. Yeah, So

530
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 2: I think that's my other bit of advice. Yet, don't

531
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 2: don't fester on things. They seem to move through stuff

532
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 2: pretty quickly.

533
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 1: Tevages resilience.

534
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 2: Resilience, that's a society resilience and a spriggy card. Spriggy card.

535
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 2: Lewis has learnt now to say when he calls how

536
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 2: are you, how's your day, it's like he's reading it

537
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,959
Speaker 2: for a card, like a Telly kind of callern Can

538
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 2: I have some money in my card? You used to

539
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 2: just be can you put somebody on my spriggy? Now

540
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 2: he knows well enough to ask how I am.

541
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 1: He's probably got a little script he does.

542
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 2: He does. I think he also works for an electricity company.

543
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 2: To the other answer, when those numbers you don't know

544
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 2: it's from me?

545
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 1: Lewis, how are you.

546
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 2: How's your day? You put somebody on my spriggy and

547
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 2: try our electricity brand?

548
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: Right well, Cathermone, thank you so much. I don't feel terrified. No,

549
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: I thought i'd feel terrified. I think it's just about

550
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 1: embracing whatever stage you're at, really, I think.

551
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,639
Speaker 2: So, and realizing that what you might want is different

552
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 2: to what you're actually going to get. But as I said,

553
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want those to just want to be hanging

554
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 2: out with his mum at sixteen. No.

555
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 1: Well, but now I understand why.

556
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 2: Right, I'd like him to acknowledge me in a group

557
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 2: of people, but you know, that's just different.

558
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 1: And now I understand why my mum and my parents

559
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 1: are so insufferable with my kids, because it's like that's

560
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: when you get to live it again. Yes, a grandkids and.

561
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 2: They really love the grandparents, don't Yes.

562
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,880
Speaker 1: And you, And that's why they're so obsessed and insufferable

563
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 1: and clinging on to them because they know that they

564
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 1: one day also don't want.

565
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 2: To borrow them.

566
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 1: No, No, oh god, so much, so much, sad stuff. Great,

567
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Catherine Hooney. We love you and

568
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 1: thanks for coming on this glorious miss Thanks for having me, Oh,

569
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: that was an emotion journey. Yeah, she's so but she's

570
00:28:55,320 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 1: so funny. She is laugh but she she got me thinking, Yeah,

571
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: you could be thinking about like the last that, Like

572
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: I didn't really like that. My kids are only six

573
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: and seven. You know, it's not as they're moving out

574
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: or you know, yeah, but you don't appreciate them. It's

575
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: like that song you don't know till it's gone. Literally

576
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: life is a song. But like I I know that

577
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 1: I absolutely wished my kids baby days away because I

578
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: had three in a year and then so I had

579
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 1: three babies at one time and it was a dead set,

580
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: logistical nightmare. So I literally woke up every day going,

581
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 1: I can't wait till they're older, or I can't wait

582
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 1: till they're at school, or I can't wait till they

583
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 1: can walk. I can't wait till they can get them

584
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 1: pour themselves a cup of jews. I can't wait. I

585
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 1: would like literally wished away the Goo goo gaga. But

586
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: with hindsight, now, do you have any regrets about wishing

587
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 1: those moments or that time away?

588
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do a little bit.

589
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: I know that I look at like photos and videos

590
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 1: of when, especially the twins love Bando too, but I

591
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 1: think I didn't get to enjoy Well, I did get

592
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: to enjoy it, because I did enjoy it, but it

593
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: also it was mayhem. But I know that if, like

594
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: I didn't have another one so close together after having

595
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: the twins, I would have probably been a lot more

596
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 1: relaxed and soaked it up a little bit more like

597
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 1: you know, having the twins and then you know, end

598
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: my time with Banjo and his time, you know what

599
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: I mean. I feel like I definitely wished it away,

600
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: and I just I look back at those videos of them,

601
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 1: you know, like when they're just starting to string words

602
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 1: together and sentences and little voice and their cute little

603
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: walks like they're like wattles and stuff like that, Like

604
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: I look at that now and like, I don't know,

605
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 1: maybe every mom does that, though yes, oh definitely. I

606
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 1: cannot look at a video of my Chie being a

607
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: toddler without going yeah, So maybe it's like, yeah, maybe

608
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 1: I'm not as regretful as I think I am, because

609
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: you know, you only you only go into whatever mode

610
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: you're feeling at the time, right, which for me was

611
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: probably utter overwhelm. But even I look at photos of

612
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: my kids twelve months ago, and I'm like, oh, look

613
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: how tiny they were compared to now, Like, they just

614
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 1: grow up. They just grow up so bloody fast, don't they. Yeah,

615
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: And it's true what they say that the days are long,

616
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: but the years are short, and that flyby is my

617
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: dead set motto. They are because my days was so

618
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 1: long and they're just as long now, but the years

619
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,719
Speaker 1: are getting shorter and shorter and shorter. I think everyone

620
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: would agree. Well, thank you so much for listening to

621
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: this glorious mess. We hope you enjoyed the episode, and

622
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 1: if you did, we'd love it if you left a

623
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 1: rating and a review. This episode was produced by Tina Madalov,

624
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 1: with audio production by Jacob Brown. See Yeah, I'll see

625
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: you next time