WEBVTT - Baby Blues 0:00:12.810 --> 0:00:15.530 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 0:00:17.930 --> 0:00:21.290 Mama Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters. 0:00:21.330 --> 0:00:31.410 This podcast is recorded on when you know, you know, 0:00:31.890 --> 0:00:34.650 That's what they say, and that can even be true 0:00:34.730 --> 0:00:36.890 for some who meet as young as fifteen. 0:00:37.370 --> 0:00:39.010 Our love was so gross that it was at the 0:00:39.050 --> 0:00:41.970 point where when one of us had just left, or 0:00:41.970 --> 0:00:44.490 we were driving in cars behind each other, following each 0:00:44.490 --> 0:00:46.930 other somewhere, but we'd call each other because we just 0:00:46.970 --> 0:00:50.130 always wanted to talk and be around. And yeah, it 0:00:50.170 --> 0:00:52.850 was just a connection that we were just meant to be. 0:00:53.170 --> 0:00:55.530 Just it never crossed my mind that I was meant 0:00:55.530 --> 0:00:58.410 to be with anybody else. I adored him from day one, 0:00:58.530 --> 0:01:00.730 and he adored me, and yeah, that was in our 0:01:00.730 --> 0:01:01.410 of ours. 0:01:01.690 --> 0:01:04.450 But just because you've known someone for more than a decade, 0:01:04.770 --> 0:01:07.770 shared a life, a home, even a child, can you 0:01:07.850 --> 0:01:09.610 ever really know anyone. 0:01:10.210 --> 0:01:12.570 I had people around me saying, walk out the door, 0:01:13.050 --> 0:01:15.930 change the locks, don't let him come home, and I 0:01:16.010 --> 0:01:18.410 just kept saying to them, you don't understand. This isn't him, 0:01:18.570 --> 0:01:21.210 this is not him. One minute we're in love. One 0:01:21.250 --> 0:01:23.570 minute he hates me. One minute I'm devastated. One minute 0:01:23.610 --> 0:01:26.210 we're Okay, one minute I'm answering the phone. One minute 0:01:26.210 --> 0:01:28.730 I'm not. It's just hell for everyone involved. 0:01:38.370 --> 0:01:41.090 I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an eggs. 0:01:41.290 --> 0:01:43.650 Come with me as we dive into a collection of 0:01:43.890 --> 0:01:48.170 unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the 0:01:48.250 --> 0:01:52.090 hearts of the very people who lived them. This story 0:01:52.170 --> 0:01:55.530 begins when Amy was a shy, little fifteen year old 0:01:55.650 --> 0:01:58.370 living in a small country town, one of those small 0:01:58.410 --> 0:02:01.850 country towns where everyone knows everyone and it's a big 0:02:01.890 --> 0:02:04.770 source of gossip and excitement when someone new comes into 0:02:04.770 --> 0:02:05.290 your orbit. 0:02:05.770 --> 0:02:08.090 He went to boarding schools. Although we weren't at the 0:02:08.130 --> 0:02:11.530 same school, we knew of each other small country towns, 0:02:12.010 --> 0:02:15.890 and we actually played tennis together, and it just kind 0:02:15.930 --> 0:02:18.930 of happened. One day we were at a leadership conference 0:02:18.970 --> 0:02:23.050 both schools and he wandered over with his high socks 0:02:23.090 --> 0:02:26.410 on in his private school boy uniform to this shy 0:02:26.530 --> 0:02:29.450 country girl and said, I've seen you at tennis. I 0:02:29.490 --> 0:02:31.490 think that you should come to my school ball with me. 0:02:32.170 --> 0:02:35.210 Now I'm like super shy, So I was like, no, 0:02:35.730 --> 0:02:38.890 I don't even know who you are, absolutely not, and 0:02:38.970 --> 0:02:41.010 he persisted, he said, no, I think you should come 0:02:41.050 --> 0:02:43.370 we'll have a great time. And by the time I'd 0:02:43.410 --> 0:02:45.690 left the leadership conference, I was going to this ball 0:02:45.730 --> 0:02:46.890 with this random man. 0:02:47.130 --> 0:02:49.250 The random man was named Zam. 0:02:49.610 --> 0:02:52.490 We were both fifteen, We're the same age, both in 0:02:52.530 --> 0:02:57.130 year eleven, and both super sporty. He is the most 0:02:57.210 --> 0:03:00.170 charismatic human being that you will ever meet. He is 0:03:00.290 --> 0:03:04.090 the life of every party. He just walked over with 0:03:04.210 --> 0:03:07.810 such swagger and just owned exactly what he was doing. 0:03:07.850 --> 0:03:09.730 He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to 0:03:09.730 --> 0:03:12.570 ask me to the ball, got what he wanted. At 0:03:12.610 --> 0:03:14.970 first I said no, and then, you know, half an 0:03:15.010 --> 0:03:17.010 hour later, because how can you say no to the 0:03:17.010 --> 0:03:19.690 man in high socks with this tie on, who's looking 0:03:19.730 --> 0:03:23.170 at you so happy, and you know, he's got strawberry 0:03:23.210 --> 0:03:25.730 blonde hair and the best smile you ever see, and 0:03:25.810 --> 0:03:28.450 just tells you exactly what you wanted to hear. And 0:03:28.690 --> 0:03:30.450 you know, by the time I'd said yes, a week later, 0:03:30.490 --> 0:03:34.290 we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. We spent weekends together 0:03:34.330 --> 0:03:36.690 when he was home from boarding school, and honestly we 0:03:36.690 --> 0:03:40.090 were inseparable for that entire year, and then the next 0:03:40.170 --> 0:03:43.930 year with year twelve, and then from then onwards we 0:03:43.930 --> 0:03:46.930 were the couple that everybody knew was going to get married. 0:03:47.050 --> 0:03:48.770 We were going to be together forever. We were the 0:03:48.850 --> 0:03:52.370 high school sweethearts. He was very athletic, I was very athletic. 0:03:52.730 --> 0:03:55.770 Interests were the same, We did the same thing. He 0:03:55.850 --> 0:03:58.850 was a footballer, I was the netbowler. He worked on 0:03:58.890 --> 0:04:01.770 the wheat bins. I taught swimming. It's all very country slang, 0:04:01.890 --> 0:04:04.970 but we were the same person and just kind of 0:04:05.410 --> 0:04:09.330 coexisted alongside each other, and everything was so easy. There 0:04:09.370 --> 0:04:15.210 was never any arguing, constant communication, everything was happy, and 0:04:15.330 --> 0:04:18.210 it was just no doubt in my mind that this 0:04:18.330 --> 0:04:20.730 was who I was going to be with forever. We 0:04:20.730 --> 0:04:23.010 were both a little bit boring. We both didn't really 0:04:23.090 --> 0:04:26.410 drink much. We just preferred, you know, to go to 0:04:26.450 --> 0:04:28.450 the parties one hundred percent and we would have the 0:04:28.490 --> 0:04:30.890 best time. But with our alcohol that was just kind 0:04:30.930 --> 0:04:34.690 of our thing because we were more into exercise. I 0:04:34.730 --> 0:04:36.450 guess I just always knew that I was loved by 0:04:36.530 --> 0:04:39.130 him because we just wanted to spend time together, and 0:04:39.770 --> 0:04:43.290 you know, our weekends were together, and when we were 0:04:43.490 --> 0:04:46.170 in the country over summers, it was time spent with 0:04:46.210 --> 0:04:50.210 both families, and we just were inseparable and that's how 0:04:50.290 --> 0:04:52.210 you know that you love someone because you want to 0:04:52.250 --> 0:04:55.090 spend all your time with them. And our love was 0:04:55.130 --> 0:04:57.530 so gross that it was at the point where when 0:04:57.530 --> 0:04:59.810 one of us had just left, or we were driving 0:04:59.810 --> 0:05:02.170 in cars behind each other, following each other somewhere, but 0:05:02.210 --> 0:05:04.770 we'd call each other because we just always wanted to 0:05:04.810 --> 0:05:07.610 talk and be around. And yeah, it was just a 0:05:07.650 --> 0:05:10.730 connection that we were just meant to be. Just it 0:05:10.850 --> 0:05:12.810 never crossed my mind that I was meant to be 0:05:12.850 --> 0:05:14.530 with anybody else so far. 0:05:14.610 --> 0:05:18.210 It's all pretty typical for fifteen, sixteen, and seventeen year olds, 0:05:18.450 --> 0:05:21.490 especially from a country town, and the high school sweetheart 0:05:21.490 --> 0:05:23.930 cliches continued even after school. 0:05:24.370 --> 0:05:26.250 You go one of two ways in the country or 0:05:26.290 --> 0:05:29.170 either the high school sweethearts that stay together live in 0:05:29.170 --> 0:05:33.130 the country, get married, have ten babies, or you kind 0:05:33.130 --> 0:05:36.170 of try and move to Perth together and you either 0:05:36.170 --> 0:05:39.210 grow alongside each other or you grow apart. We moved 0:05:39.210 --> 0:05:43.010 to Perth as seventeen year olds, and we immediately actually 0:05:43.090 --> 0:05:45.890 lived together pretty much. We lived between two houses from 0:05:45.930 --> 0:05:48.810 the get go, and most people probably think that that's odd, 0:05:48.890 --> 0:05:52.850 but country people, that's normal. And it continued to work. 0:05:53.050 --> 0:05:57.170 He played semi professional football. I'm the biggest cheerleader, and 0:05:57.250 --> 0:05:59.970 it just like I say, everybody knew that we were 0:06:00.010 --> 0:06:02.730 just going to stay together. We were the couple that 0:06:02.810 --> 0:06:06.850 did everything together. Very happy times. We've moved into a 0:06:06.890 --> 0:06:10.050 rental and we are working towards building our own home. 0:06:11.050 --> 0:06:15.170 So a seven years in, we're looking to build our 0:06:15.210 --> 0:06:18.890 first home together, looking at purchasing land. He is working 0:06:18.970 --> 0:06:21.530 away on the minds to save money and then playing 0:06:21.610 --> 0:06:24.770 country football when he's coming home. And country football that 0:06:24.810 --> 0:06:27.290 he's playing is about three hours away, so it's a 0:06:27.450 --> 0:06:29.450 you know, six hour round trip that I was doing 0:06:29.450 --> 0:06:32.970 with him every weekend alongside my career as a teacher. 0:06:33.370 --> 0:06:36.330 So we've gone through apprenticeships, we've gone through uni degrees. 0:06:36.730 --> 0:06:40.290 Everything's fine, everything's working really well. Takes a break from 0:06:40.330 --> 0:06:43.290 semi professional football to earn more money. We go down 0:06:43.290 --> 0:06:45.890 to a country club. I go with him every week. 0:06:46.130 --> 0:06:49.530 I'm still thinking everything's fine, We're living in our rental, 0:06:50.130 --> 0:06:53.170 and then I get this gut feeling that's something is 0:06:53.290 --> 0:06:56.370 very wrong. I'm like, there's just something weird. You know. 0:06:56.410 --> 0:06:58.850 He hasn't said anything, but his behavior has changed. He's 0:06:58.850 --> 0:07:00.490 all of a sudden on his phone all the time, 0:07:01.090 --> 0:07:03.890 it's really uncommon for him. We're not communicating as much, 0:07:04.570 --> 0:07:07.370 so immediately I've got some red flags. I'm like, something's 0:07:07.410 --> 0:07:11.370 happening here. He goes away for the weekend and then 0:07:11.450 --> 0:07:13.530 I probably did what every girl does and I'm like, 0:07:13.570 --> 0:07:18.010 I'm just going to get onto his snapchat, logged in 0:07:18.130 --> 0:07:20.250 and found out that he was having an affair with 0:07:20.410 --> 0:07:22.970 an eighteen year old from the football club, which was 0:07:22.970 --> 0:07:28.090 actually one of his teammate's girlfriends. I found words of 0:07:28.170 --> 0:07:31.610 them telling each other they loved each other, naked photos, 0:07:31.690 --> 0:07:34.810 you know, very much, an emotional connection on the phone. 0:07:35.650 --> 0:07:38.970 That's the instant drop of the heart, Like it's what 0:07:39.170 --> 0:07:41.850 everybody doesn't want to find. You think that you're going 0:07:41.890 --> 0:07:43.810 to find it, and you want the reassurance that it's 0:07:43.850 --> 0:07:46.810 not there, so when you find it, you just feel sick. 0:07:46.850 --> 0:07:50.050 I wanted to vomit. I vividly remember going into the wardrobe, 0:07:50.130 --> 0:07:52.490 in my walking wardrobe because at the time we were 0:07:52.530 --> 0:07:55.690 living with my siblings in our Perth house, and I 0:07:55.890 --> 0:07:57.810 just walked into the wardrobe and just cried and just 0:07:57.810 --> 0:08:00.250 couldn't come out. And it took me a while to 0:08:00.530 --> 0:08:02.370 get up the courage to actually call him and be 0:08:02.570 --> 0:08:06.850 like this is what I've found and I've said I've 0:08:06.970 --> 0:08:10.050 found out what's happened. You can tell the other partner 0:08:10.170 --> 0:08:13.410 or I will, And he spiraled out of control. And 0:08:13.450 --> 0:08:15.250 then I didn't hear from him for a month. Now 0:08:15.290 --> 0:08:17.690 remembering by this stage we've been with each other for 0:08:17.730 --> 0:08:21.650 seven years, never had any hiccups, never had any issues, 0:08:21.690 --> 0:08:24.450 and then all of a sudden, he's just disappeared. So 0:08:24.450 --> 0:08:28.250 he came home, packed a bag, went elsewhere, switched his 0:08:28.250 --> 0:08:28.850 phone off. 0:08:29.530 --> 0:08:31.450 Right, well, that was a short episode. 0:08:31.810 --> 0:08:35.090 Then after a month comes back to the house, tells 0:08:35.130 --> 0:08:37.690 me the biggest mistake of his life, wants to redo, 0:08:38.490 --> 0:08:40.530 you know, really reeled me and said all of the 0:08:40.610 --> 0:08:44.890 right things. Naturally we did the redo. It was so confusing, 0:08:45.530 --> 0:08:48.690 gut wrenching for me. I have lived my whole life 0:08:48.690 --> 0:08:50.490 with this person. I don't know how to live without him. 0:08:50.530 --> 0:08:52.330 You know, I thought that we were going to be 0:08:52.450 --> 0:08:56.170 together forever and move on and have many children and 0:08:56.530 --> 0:08:58.970 be happy and be the high school sweethearts. I'm a planner. 0:08:59.370 --> 0:09:01.730 That was in the plan. The affair with the eighteen 0:09:01.810 --> 0:09:05.090 year old was not in the plan. So then for 0:09:05.130 --> 0:09:06.690 a whole month I didn't hear from him, and I 0:09:06.730 --> 0:09:09.170 spiraled completely out of control. So I was like, what 0:09:09.210 --> 0:09:11.890 can I change about myself to make him come back 0:09:12.130 --> 0:09:15.330 and be fine? And then he did eventually come back. 0:09:15.410 --> 0:09:18.930 We had a very in depth conversation. He apologized, would 0:09:18.970 --> 0:09:23.410 never happen again. You know I said about my insecurities. 0:09:23.810 --> 0:09:26.610 He promised things would be different. We kind of agreed, 0:09:26.650 --> 0:09:29.770 swept it under the carpet, than built house. 0:09:30.450 --> 0:09:32.970 Okay, Okay, so let's check where we are. Amy in 0:09:33.050 --> 0:09:36.130 Sam are high school sweethearts together for seven years, living 0:09:36.130 --> 0:09:38.770 in a new city, thick as thieves, until one day 0:09:39.090 --> 0:09:42.330 Amy finds out Sam's been sleeping with someone else, but 0:09:42.410 --> 0:09:45.290 she forgives him. He moves back in. Things go back 0:09:45.290 --> 0:09:48.090 to how they were before, if not better, And now 0:09:48.250 --> 0:09:51.610 another year into the relationship, they've built a house. Got 0:09:51.650 --> 0:09:53.410 it great as you were? 0:09:54.290 --> 0:09:58.450 Okay, So now we're eight years in with Boortland, built 0:09:58.450 --> 0:10:02.850 a house, happy days. Everything is coasting, you know, we're 0:10:02.850 --> 0:10:05.450 in our own space. We've got the dog. So we're 0:10:05.490 --> 0:10:07.810 now in the brand new house. We've got the dog. 0:10:07.930 --> 0:10:10.570 And then for my birthday, which is in November, he 0:10:11.290 --> 0:10:14.690 gives me a holiday to Thailand. Now I walked in 0:10:14.890 --> 0:10:17.770 after a day at work, happy as Larry said, hello. 0:10:17.890 --> 0:10:19.890 We were going out for dinner, and he gives me 0:10:19.970 --> 0:10:22.490 this present, tells me to pack a bag, won't give 0:10:22.530 --> 0:10:25.410 me any other details. And then you know, a month later, 0:10:25.490 --> 0:10:29.090 we're flying to Thailand. We've done a year of growth again. 0:10:29.130 --> 0:10:32.010 I feel like we're rebuilding. We hop on the plane. 0:10:32.210 --> 0:10:35.130 He's acting all sheepish, and I'm like, what is wrong 0:10:35.130 --> 0:10:37.410 with this man? You know, we get all the way 0:10:37.410 --> 0:10:41.210 there and he rushes downstairs, leaves me in the hotel room. 0:10:41.610 --> 0:10:44.010 And you know, we do most things together. So he's like, 0:10:44.010 --> 0:10:45.570 I'm just going to go down and check out the 0:10:45.610 --> 0:10:48.250 hotel facilities. Oh, I'll come. Like, we can look at 0:10:48.290 --> 0:10:49.850 the gym, we can look at the pool. What are 0:10:49.930 --> 0:10:51.850 we doing? Where are we going? Are we having a cocktail? 0:10:52.050 --> 0:10:55.210 He's like, no, you just stay there. He's rushed downstairs, 0:10:55.410 --> 0:10:59.250 come back up. We're going out for dinner, and he's thinking, 0:10:59.530 --> 0:11:02.930 let's go see the sunset. And I said, it's overcast outside, 0:11:02.970 --> 0:11:05.570 it's going to rain. There's no sunset tonight. Like, we'll 0:11:05.570 --> 0:11:07.330 just go out for dinner, get a drink, and then 0:11:07.370 --> 0:11:09.850 maybe we can walk into town. No, no, I really 0:11:09.890 --> 0:11:12.210 want to go and see the sunset. There's a nice 0:11:12.210 --> 0:11:15.050 bridge out there. We can go together. It'd be romantic, 0:11:15.210 --> 0:11:18.370 and then we can go to dinner. So this man's insane. 0:11:18.450 --> 0:11:22.290 There's definitely no sunset tonight. It is almost pitch black outside. 0:11:22.410 --> 0:11:26.050 I can see the moon anyway. I'm in overalls. He 0:11:26.090 --> 0:11:28.330 gets dressed nicely and I said to him, where are 0:11:28.370 --> 0:11:30.570 we going for dinner? Should I put something nicer on? 0:11:30.610 --> 0:11:32.610 And he goes, no, you look great like you look 0:11:32.730 --> 0:11:36.890 like you. Let's go. So we're walking down to this broadwalk, 0:11:37.130 --> 0:11:41.410 beautiful walk, passing lots of happy couples holding hands. And 0:11:41.490 --> 0:11:43.730 we got onto the broadwalk. There is no one there, 0:11:44.090 --> 0:11:48.090 no sunset obviously because it's overcast. One person on the 0:11:48.170 --> 0:11:50.930 very end of the bridge. That was it. And we 0:11:50.970 --> 0:11:53.450 walk up towards him, and he said to me, oh, 0:11:53.490 --> 0:11:54.970 I'm just going to get this man to take a 0:11:54.970 --> 0:11:57.690 photo of us. And I was like, okay, whatever, and 0:11:57.730 --> 0:11:59.250 he said, can you just give him the phone? So 0:11:59.410 --> 0:12:01.290 I turned around and said, excuse me, would you mind 0:12:01.290 --> 0:12:03.810 taking a photo of us? And when I turned back around, 0:12:03.850 --> 0:12:06.770 he was on one knee with a ring out, and 0:12:06.930 --> 0:12:09.490 I have just lost my mind because I'm like, oh 0:12:09.530 --> 0:12:12.250 my god, this is all I've ever wanted was to 0:12:12.330 --> 0:12:16.290 marry this man, and now eight years later, it's finally happening, 0:12:16.930 --> 0:12:18.890 and we just shared a really beautiful moment where it 0:12:18.930 --> 0:12:22.890 was just the two of us on the broadbook in Thailand, 0:12:23.130 --> 0:12:26.090 no one around us, no one knew, and the man 0:12:26.130 --> 0:12:27.810 who I had given the phone to was actually a 0:12:27.810 --> 0:12:32.410 photographer that he hired. So we have beautiful photos from 0:12:32.530 --> 0:12:36.090 a really special time. I'm crying, he's on one knee 0:12:36.170 --> 0:12:39.370 and then yeah, we stayed there probably for about an hour, 0:12:39.650 --> 0:12:43.010 just enjoying a moment just the two of us. We 0:12:43.050 --> 0:12:44.970 didn't tell any of our family until we got back, 0:12:45.010 --> 0:12:47.130 so we had, you know, a week in Thailand, just 0:12:47.250 --> 0:12:50.250 the two of us just to digest what had happened. 0:12:50.250 --> 0:12:54.570 And yeah, it was beautiful, best memories. Then went back 0:12:54.570 --> 0:12:56.730 to work and we thought, oh, we better start planning 0:12:56.730 --> 0:13:00.010 the wedding. Set a date for two years time, and 0:13:00.130 --> 0:13:03.090 that would then be our ten year anniversary. We get 0:13:03.130 --> 0:13:06.130 to the wedding and everyone arrives at the venue that 0:13:06.130 --> 0:13:08.090 we've booked out, and we have all of our one 0:13:08.250 --> 0:13:11.290 hundred and thirty closest people staying at the same place 0:13:11.410 --> 0:13:16.370 for a festival of us. And for me, I am 0:13:16.450 --> 0:13:19.090 a highly strong think if you ask people to describe me, 0:13:19.170 --> 0:13:23.450 they would say highly strung, very organized, like quite uptight, 0:13:24.330 --> 0:13:28.050 and me at the wedding, calmest person in the whole 0:13:28.170 --> 0:13:31.170 entire room. It just felt like this is exactly where 0:13:31.210 --> 0:13:33.850 I meant to be. This is exactly what needs to happen. 0:13:34.410 --> 0:13:36.970 And things were going wrong. My bridesmaid forgot her dress, 0:13:37.450 --> 0:13:40.330 the makeup artists messed up three of the girls makeup, 0:13:40.370 --> 0:13:42.490 and they were having meltdowns, and I was just sitting 0:13:42.530 --> 0:13:45.490 there so calm. I was like, it's fine, everything's fine. 0:13:45.530 --> 0:13:48.210 The florists couldn't put the hanging piece in, so we 0:13:48.210 --> 0:13:50.170 didn't have a hanging piece that we'd paid for. I 0:13:50.210 --> 0:13:53.650 was like, it's fine, everything's fine. Doesn't bother me. And 0:13:53.690 --> 0:13:56.610 everyone was walking around me on the room just thinking, 0:13:56.650 --> 0:14:00.530 what is going on? She's way too calm. There is 0:14:00.610 --> 0:14:04.370 something wrong here. We do not know who she is, Like, 0:14:04.490 --> 0:14:06.970 who is this woman that we've never met? And I 0:14:07.010 --> 0:14:08.850 had one of my brides maid pull me aside and 0:14:08.890 --> 0:14:11.930 actually go are you are you okay? Are you feeling okay? 0:14:12.410 --> 0:14:15.050 It's like, this is exactly where I meant to be. 0:14:15.770 --> 0:14:18.570 Ten years I've been with this man and now I 0:14:18.690 --> 0:14:21.730 finally get to be with him forever, and we're committing 0:14:21.770 --> 0:14:24.290 to each other. It's the commitment that I was after. 0:14:25.370 --> 0:14:29.170 And then we went on a honeymoon. Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, 0:14:29.250 --> 0:14:32.370 and then we thought, next step, let's try for a baby. 0:14:33.050 --> 0:14:35.610 You know, we've been together for ten years, still quite 0:14:35.610 --> 0:14:38.530 young at this stage, but that's the natural progression. We've 0:14:38.530 --> 0:14:41.450 got the house, got the dog done, the wedding, baby 0:14:41.490 --> 0:14:42.170 comes next. 0:14:42.810 --> 0:14:45.690 So here they are now ten years together, with only 0:14:45.730 --> 0:14:49.410 one hiccup. That whole time, they're both twenty five, married, 0:14:49.570 --> 0:14:52.130 living in their dream home and trying for a baby. 0:14:52.530 --> 0:14:54.330 Amy was in pure bliss. 0:14:54.610 --> 0:14:58.130 We tried for about six months, weren't two phays that 0:14:58.210 --> 0:15:01.450 it wasn't really happening quickly, not that six months isn't quickly. 0:15:01.850 --> 0:15:05.130 And then Yeah, I can vividly remember said to him, 0:15:05.290 --> 0:15:08.210 my period is a little bit late. I feel like 0:15:08.290 --> 0:15:10.050 this might be the time, this might be the one. 0:15:10.770 --> 0:15:13.090 And did the test my mum and sister and it 0:15:13.130 --> 0:15:17.610 came back positive. Told him and I just immediately elated, 0:15:18.130 --> 0:15:21.530 so excited to be having this baby. And then Yeah, 0:15:21.650 --> 0:15:23.810 danced out of the room, showed him. I was like, 0:15:23.850 --> 0:15:28.050 we're going to be parents, you know, celebrated together, told 0:15:28.090 --> 0:15:31.650 all of our closest people, and then waited the twelve weeks, 0:15:31.930 --> 0:15:34.650 told people we worked with. He told his footy club. 0:15:35.050 --> 0:15:38.730 They're cheering, everyone's happy, and we're just kind of coasting 0:15:38.850 --> 0:15:42.690 in the honeymoon phase until our son was born. Nine 0:15:42.690 --> 0:15:47.650 months later. I going to labor with James and my 0:15:47.770 --> 0:15:50.250 husband is at football training and he had given me 0:15:50.290 --> 0:15:53.250 a number and said, call this number if you go 0:15:53.290 --> 0:15:57.050 into labor. So again, calmest person in the room, which 0:15:57.090 --> 0:15:59.490 is unheard of from me, so it's just a common theme. 0:16:00.130 --> 0:16:02.370 And I ring the football manager and I said, I'm 0:16:02.410 --> 0:16:06.490 Sam's wife, don't panic, but if we could just tell 0:16:06.570 --> 0:16:10.050 him that I'm at the hospital and they're saying that, 0:16:10.250 --> 0:16:13.250 you know, I'm dilated and wearing a labor and he 0:16:13.330 --> 0:16:15.690 kind of needs to get here. So they managers going 0:16:15.810 --> 0:16:18.810 oh my gosh, and runs across two opals to get 0:16:18.850 --> 0:16:21.530 to him. And then he meets me at the hospital 0:16:21.850 --> 0:16:24.490 and it ended up being such a long labor, fourteen 0:16:24.530 --> 0:16:28.410 hours and then two hours of pushing, and Sam and 0:16:28.570 --> 0:16:31.850 the midwives were watching the Australian Open, the Women's football 0:16:32.330 --> 0:16:35.770 and the Big Bash League while I'm excruciating agony trying 0:16:35.810 --> 0:16:38.770 to get this baby out. And then you know, he 0:16:38.850 --> 0:16:40.770 was so present in the whole birth. He was helping, 0:16:40.850 --> 0:16:44.050 he was talking to me like it was hard but 0:16:44.530 --> 0:16:46.810 special because we were doing it together. It was just him, 0:16:47.090 --> 0:16:49.810 myself and one midwife that was it in the room. 0:16:50.370 --> 0:16:54.010 They were elated, a perfect baby boy, bringing them even 0:16:54.090 --> 0:16:56.570 closer together. What could possibly go wrong? 0:16:57.210 --> 0:17:00.610 Immediately we were given the harsh reality check that he 0:17:00.690 --> 0:17:03.730 is a child. It is not easy, and I don't 0:17:03.770 --> 0:17:08.810 know what we were thinking was coming, but the reality 0:17:08.970 --> 0:17:13.010 of not sleeping, not being able to go out and exercise, 0:17:13.130 --> 0:17:16.050 which is, you know, inevitably what we do. I'm not 0:17:16.130 --> 0:17:19.170 at work, so I'm not getting that social communication. We're 0:17:19.290 --> 0:17:22.210 very young, so we're the only people that have a child, 0:17:22.810 --> 0:17:25.210 and we just felt lonely. Like the first few weeks 0:17:25.210 --> 0:17:28.370 were fine because we had ample visitors. It's really exciting. 0:17:28.450 --> 0:17:30.930 Everyone wants to see us. And then as soon as 0:17:31.010 --> 0:17:33.170 my husband went back to work, I was just so 0:17:33.250 --> 0:17:37.770 overwhelmed with what parenthood is and one hundred percent I 0:17:37.810 --> 0:17:41.010 struggled massively. It was very difficult for me. I had 0:17:41.010 --> 0:17:42.930 a lot of resentment for my husband who got to 0:17:42.930 --> 0:17:44.970 go to football training, he got to go to work. 0:17:45.450 --> 0:17:48.770 His life didn't change, whereas my whole life had turned 0:17:48.850 --> 0:17:51.970 upside down. Now, I don't think that I handed it 0:17:52.930 --> 0:17:57.090 in a terrible way. Was I a bit snappy with him? Yes? 0:17:57.370 --> 0:18:00.650 Is most sleep deprived new mothers snappy? I think so. 0:18:01.690 --> 0:18:04.330 Did I want to be intimate? Not for a few months. Again, 0:18:04.530 --> 0:18:06.730 I think this is quite normal. And it got to 0:18:06.810 --> 0:18:08.730 a stage where, you know, he sat me down and 0:18:08.810 --> 0:18:10.970 was like, what's happening here? I feel like we're at 0:18:11.010 --> 0:18:14.010 each other's And that's full credit to him, Like that 0:18:14.170 --> 0:18:16.090 was really good that he did that. He said, I 0:18:16.090 --> 0:18:17.850 can see you're struggling. What do we need to do. 0:18:18.050 --> 0:18:19.770 I said, we need to get this baby to sleep. 0:18:20.610 --> 0:18:23.330 Once the baby sleeps, I can run. Everything will be fine. 0:18:23.330 --> 0:18:26.250 Like then at least I'll get to have my break. Anyway, 0:18:26.330 --> 0:18:28.770 we did that, got a sleep trainer in, the baby 0:18:28.850 --> 0:18:32.010 started to sleep. I straight away turned. I was like, 0:18:32.250 --> 0:18:34.650 this is amazing. My life is now back to normal. 0:18:34.810 --> 0:18:36.970 I'm loving being mum. I get to be with my 0:18:37.050 --> 0:18:40.050 son all day. Every day. I get to, you know, 0:18:40.130 --> 0:18:42.050 look after my husband. When he gets home. He's got 0:18:42.050 --> 0:18:44.130 food on the table, like food was always on the table, 0:18:44.290 --> 0:18:47.090 washing done. I was in full housewife mode and that 0:18:47.210 --> 0:18:49.210 was my new calling because I couldn't. I was an 0:18:49.210 --> 0:18:51.930 at work teaching, so I needed to be doing something. 0:18:53.010 --> 0:18:55.970 Definitely resented for the first six months, but by then 0:18:56.130 --> 0:18:59.930 yes starting to really enjoy my role. And that's when 0:18:59.970 --> 0:19:03.650 the tables turned and rather than me struggling, it turned 0:19:03.690 --> 0:19:06.970 to my husband struggling. I started to see a few 0:19:07.130 --> 0:19:12.170 small changes. He was going out after football, not come home, 0:19:12.290 --> 0:19:15.730 not communicating as often, and I was just like, Okay, 0:19:15.770 --> 0:19:19.130 this is maybe just how he's kind of working through 0:19:19.210 --> 0:19:20.690 his parenting journey now. 0:19:21.250 --> 0:19:24.290 But Amy wasn't worried. She'd had her getting used to 0:19:24.330 --> 0:19:27.010 their new norm. Now it was Sam's and they had 0:19:27.050 --> 0:19:29.610 plans to look forward to. When their son was eighteen 0:19:29.610 --> 0:19:32.490 months old, they were going on their first family holiday. 0:19:33.210 --> 0:19:38.370 So from when James turned one, we just kind of 0:19:38.410 --> 0:19:41.370 coasted for the next year. We were fine, There was 0:19:41.410 --> 0:19:43.890 no issues. We were just kind of working around each 0:19:43.890 --> 0:19:46.850 other and trying to figure out what parenting looked like. 0:19:47.610 --> 0:19:50.330 And that's when we decided we needed a holiday. So 0:19:50.410 --> 0:19:53.450 we booked Bali as a family and we jet set 0:19:53.450 --> 0:19:55.530 it off to Bali as a family of three. The 0:19:55.570 --> 0:19:58.130 holiday was great. We were only there for five days, 0:19:58.570 --> 0:20:01.050 but you know, we were out and about, we were 0:20:01.170 --> 0:20:04.090 at home when the baby was napping, we would get 0:20:04.250 --> 0:20:08.690 one on one time together. Yeah, and then we started 0:20:08.730 --> 0:20:11.730 having conversations about having a second and we knew that 0:20:11.810 --> 0:20:15.290 it was difficult with the first one, but we were ready. 0:20:15.450 --> 0:20:18.370 We felt ready to add to our family. We thought 0:20:18.450 --> 0:20:20.770 that it was a good time to start trying. We 0:20:20.770 --> 0:20:24.050 were both on board, both happy about it, both excited, 0:20:24.370 --> 0:20:29.010 and yeah, inevitably started trying. And then when we arrived 0:20:29.170 --> 0:20:31.770 back in Perth, he wanted to go on a night 0:20:31.810 --> 0:20:34.090 out with the boys and I was kind of brought 0:20:34.130 --> 0:20:36.690 off guard because I thought, we've just got home. We've 0:20:36.690 --> 0:20:39.290 literally just landed, Like can we not just kind of 0:20:39.330 --> 0:20:43.570 take the night to settle back in. And from there 0:20:43.770 --> 0:20:45.930 that moment when we landed back in Perth and he 0:20:46.010 --> 0:20:49.610 went out, everything unraveled with the flick of a switch. 0:20:50.730 --> 0:20:52.610