Speaker 1: You're listening to I'm on the Mere podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to Unleashed, a podcast for gen X
Speaker 2: women who need a laugh.
Speaker 3: This podcast, I can promise you three things.
Speaker 4: What are they here?
Speaker 2: First of all, you will not learn anything else no longer. Secondly,
Speaker 2: we are not talking about the news. This is not
Speaker 2: that show.
Speaker 3: And the third, you don't have to remember anything. Hopefully
Speaker 3: we will anyway.
Speaker 5: Who is on the couch with me today? I'm Mary Christmas,
Speaker 5: I'm an actress writer.
Speaker 1: I'm Bruna pep Andrea. I'm a film and television producer.
Speaker 6: Hirah Babby is Grace Lamb, fashion stylist in their house.
Speaker 2: Hi, and I am Tony comedian. It is hard to follow,
Speaker 2: all right. On this show, we have a talking stick.
Speaker 2: Whoever has the stick has the floor. It can talk
Speaker 2: about anything you want, big or small.
Speaker 3: Petty or polarizing. Who wants to start.
Speaker 6: Me, I'll go first. I'm an own child, Grace, So
Speaker 6: something crazy happened recently? What I had to fight off
Speaker 6: an intruder?
Speaker 4: What I know?
Speaker 7: I know?
Speaker 6: I mean for people who don't know what I look like,
Speaker 6: I'm only five with five ice Chinese. I would say
Speaker 6: I'm more of a slim built person. So one night
Speaker 6: I was sleeping.
Speaker 4: Hang on, hang on, you're fighting off an intruder in
Speaker 4: your home.
Speaker 6: So I was sleeping, and one thing about me, you
Speaker 6: don't You might not know that I have sonic hearing.
Speaker 6: I can hear everything from very far away. I can
Speaker 6: even hear even when you're asleep.
Speaker 8: You can still hear it like puppies.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, like when when my son coughs, I can
Speaker 6: hear it and he's on the other side of the flat.
Speaker 6: So one night I was sleeping and then suddenly I
Speaker 6: hear this rattling noise. And by the way, I can
Speaker 6: also hear you about me. I was sleeping and I
Speaker 6: heard some rattling noise and I thought it was our
Speaker 6: sun going to the toilet in the middle of the night.
Speaker 6: It wasn't. So I got out of bed, went over
Speaker 6: the other side of the apartment, went to the toilet,
Speaker 6: check on him. He wasn't there. Went into his room
Speaker 6: he was fast asleep. Then I still hear this rattling noise.
Speaker 6: I creep to the door, looked through the keyhole. There
Speaker 6: was a fucking guy in a red baseball cab jacket
Speaker 6: shot trying to break into God My immediate thought was that,
Speaker 6: oh my god, should I wake up Jason because he's
Speaker 6: on the other side of the apartment, right But by
Speaker 6: the time I get there, that guy might have come
Speaker 6: in and his where we were, it's much closer to
Speaker 6: my kids room. So I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 6: need to protect my kid.
Speaker 4: So okay, can I just stop you for a second.
Speaker 1: I mean, I would just be waking up my husband
Speaker 1: at screaming, screaming, screaming, or were you like, no, they're
Speaker 1: not in yet.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna just go protect my kid.
Speaker 6: I don't know what came over me. All I thought
Speaker 6: was like, I'm gonna take charge and I'm not gonna
Speaker 6: inform Jason my husband straight away. And I basically started
Speaker 6: banging on the door like a crazy woman, but I
Speaker 6: lower my voice to five octave so I don't sound
Speaker 6: like a woman. So basically I was going.
Speaker 8: Got the fuck out of here, your fund.
Speaker 5: Off.
Speaker 6: I was going off, and he wouldn't budge. He would
Speaker 6: not budge.
Speaker 8: By then is Jason up? At this point?
Speaker 6: Jason, my husband's up already, and he was like, what's
Speaker 6: going on? What's going on? And another thing is, ladies,
Speaker 6: I wear a splint like a mouth guard, so me
Speaker 6: trying to threaten and intrude that when.
Speaker 2: I have my lips, I'm going stop it.
Speaker 6: It didn't go down very well. It didn't go down
Speaker 6: very well. Wasn't that stretching your son up?
Speaker 7: At this?
Speaker 6: I was, it's getting and I was like.
Speaker 8: Got the fuck out of you. Fuck what you're trying
Speaker 8: to do.
Speaker 7: He will not stop.
Speaker 8: What time is? It was three a m.
Speaker 6: And I turned around and said to Jason, called the police,
Speaker 6: call upge downstairs, and I think that guy hurt us.
Speaker 6: And he went away, and I thought, oh my god,
Speaker 6: he's doing the rounds on a whole floor. The thing
Speaker 6: with my building is it's a really safe building. Unless
Speaker 6: you have a fop on the same floor, you can't
Speaker 6: get in. So I thought, oh my god, how.
Speaker 7: Did he get in? Right?
Speaker 6: The blood thickens, Oh my god. And then I looked
Speaker 6: through a keyhole. He came back and he said, I'm
Speaker 6: so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 6: It's the neighbors drunk. It was he was trying to
Speaker 6: get into the wrong party drunk.
Speaker 1: He got the wrong door and all that that I've done,
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 6: And I thought, you know what, my corterso went through
Speaker 6: the roof fl oh and after I I then I realized,
Speaker 6: oh my god, it's the neighbors drunk, right an intruder
Speaker 6: is not gonna apologize.
Speaker 5: Come on, Grace, you don't know your neighbors. You don't
Speaker 5: know what they look like. You've not seen him before.
Speaker 6: I've not seen him before. Do you know why? Because
Speaker 6: our next door neighbors is a couple, like a couple,
Speaker 6: an old couple, and they live somewhere else in other states,
Speaker 6: and they only come to Melbourne once in a blue
Speaker 6: moon to see their son and the grandkids. So I
Speaker 6: know that's the son who's probably having the weekend with
Speaker 6: the boys and got out of hand and away from
Speaker 6: the kids. So he was having a blast. But to
Speaker 6: be fair, our door is exactly the same.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I don't, kind of I'm that guy, I know.
Speaker 6: But three am in the morning, come down and I
Speaker 6: woke up the next So then I said to Jason,
Speaker 6: So Jason said, with.
Speaker 8: Kath with him.
Speaker 6: So I said to Jason, go to bed, let us
Speaker 6: sleep with you tonight. I'm gonna guard the door. And
Speaker 6: Jason just went you guarding the door? I'm like, yes,
Speaker 6: let me guard the door because I feel strong. You know,
Speaker 6: I'm like, not a mama bear because I was Chinese,
Speaker 6: like a mama panda. I'm like, you know what, let
Speaker 6: me gut the door. I'm going to fight whoever's going
Speaker 6: to come in. He was like, okay, Grace, you do
Speaker 6: you even though I'm six foot, I'm stronger than you.
Speaker 6: I'm like, go go sleep.
Speaker 4: But didn't you know at this point you were safe?
Speaker 6: No, I know, but I wasn't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6: Too much. It was too much. And then the next
Speaker 6: day I woke up. The first thing I said to
Speaker 6: my boys were I already have a speech that I'm
Speaker 6: going to tell that guy what I think of him.
Speaker 6: Three am in the morning. I said, don't let me
Speaker 6: see him today. If I see him today, he's going
Speaker 6: to get it today. And Jason was like, good morning
Speaker 6: to you too. You know that's how I rolled.
Speaker 5: And Grace, did you sleep in front of the door?
Speaker 5: Did you sleep in your son's bedroom?
Speaker 6: I slept in my son's bedroom because it's very close
Speaker 6: to the door. And yeah, I was guarding it all
Speaker 6: night with your eyes closed right next to me.
Speaker 2: Did you keep your splint on?
Speaker 1: I did something I'd never done before, which I'm sure
Speaker 1: a lot of people listening have done before. I was
Speaker 1: at the Crown Hotel for something and had a room
Speaker 1: and the key wasn't working to my room and I
Speaker 1: was like, it's not working, and there was someone on
Speaker 1: the floor cleaning the rooms, and I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. I don't want to go downstairs because it's
Speaker 1: a pretty large hotel. Can you please open the door?
Speaker 8: And they did.
Speaker 1: Turns out I hadn't looked at the room number properly
Speaker 1: and I walked in and a guy was sitting on
Speaker 1: the bed.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, it was the wrong room.
Speaker 4: So I kind of identify with that guy.
Speaker 5: Then, Bunny, when you walked in and you saw they
Speaker 5: guy sitting on the bed, did you still think it
Speaker 5: was your room for a minute.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: At that point, I was like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry, and I felt so bad that i'd also
Speaker 1: put this other person in that position, but that had
Speaker 1: never happened to me where I was like, fully, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: the key's not working. You guys, Oh my god, it
Speaker 1: always happens to me. And I totally just looked at the.
Speaker 7: Room number wrong.
Speaker 4: So I kind of feel for your neighbor a little bit.
Speaker 8: Yes, but I was so you didn't jump into him?
Speaker 6: No, not yet, but I am. Yeah, I'm looking up
Speaker 6: for him, don't you worry. I actually think that I
Speaker 6: saw him yesterday because he wouldn't look at this guy
Speaker 6: wouldn't look at me. He wouldn't look at me.
Speaker 4: In the eye.
Speaker 6: He knows, so he knows.
Speaker 3: I'm waiting to see you on the daily Mail. Not
Speaker 3: in a good way, viral.
Speaker 6: Yeah, all right, on that note, who wants a stick?
Speaker 5: I do marry Chris because okay, now what I'm about
Speaker 5: to say might make me sound like a monster.
Speaker 8: Oh yeah.
Speaker 5: The other day I was on the phone to our
Speaker 5: fantastic producer Moms, and at the end of a very
Speaker 5: good call was not romantic in any way, Mon said,
Speaker 5: I love you.
Speaker 7: Oh that's lovely.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, I love her, But I don't think we're
Speaker 8: at the point where we should be saying.
Speaker 5: And I was thinking, you know, we're saying I love
Speaker 5: you too much, and I love a lot you do.
Speaker 5: I've been loved well and I think I love really well.
Speaker 5: And yet I don't want to throw it around Willy
Speaker 5: Nelly Nilsen.
Speaker 2: I could go squirt it around like it like it's
Speaker 2: Sometimes I do. It's like, oh, it's like my HRT,
Speaker 2: I just cover everyone in it.
Speaker 5: Look, I'm all for saying it, but are we saying
Speaker 5: it now as a way of trying to communicate something else.
Speaker 5: Is it a way of saying sorry? Is it a
Speaker 5: way of saying hi, it is nice to meet you,
Speaker 5: or is it a way of, you know, saying I'm
Speaker 5: feeling grateful.
Speaker 8: I feel really good right now.
Speaker 5: I just feel like we've diluted the word the concept
Speaker 5: of I love you a lot.
Speaker 7: In general.
Speaker 2: I wish there was because in a lot of languages
Speaker 2: there are a lot of different words for love aren't correct,
Speaker 2: and I do wish we had something between like and love,
Speaker 2: especially on date two for me going out with a
Speaker 2: guy on second date, I'm feeling it for It's like
Speaker 2: I need.
Speaker 3: A mid mid range strong word. It's not love.
Speaker 5: I think we're flogging that three word little thing way
Speaker 5: too much.
Speaker 8: I mean, we're using it all the time. I don't
Speaker 8: know how you go.
Speaker 5: Grew up, but I didn't hear it all the time.
Speaker 5: Growing up, I knew I was loved, you know, I
Speaker 5: didn't say it. I didn't hear it, And now we're
Speaker 5: hearing it all the time. We're saying it to complete strangers.
Speaker 5: You know, on stage, you win an award, I love you,
Speaker 5: you know, like you get a good feeling in your
Speaker 5: heart and suddenly you.
Speaker 8: Have to tell everyone you love them. Right, Yeah, but
Speaker 8: I just thought we've gone too far. Yeah, we'll agree.
Speaker 1: I completely disagree. Yeah, I mean, fucking hater's got a
Speaker 1: hate bear, Like, come on, I mean, I'm like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I do tell my kids, and I also grumb it.
Speaker 1: My mum absolutely loved me, but we weren't a family
Speaker 1: who said it all the time. And I think that
Speaker 1: our generation probably didn't say it as much as this generation.
Speaker 1: And you know, certainly in America, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: positive affirmations, shall we say, you know what they are?
Speaker 4: Gap, I did, but I kind of go out.
Speaker 1: Of my way because I don't think I'm particularly naturally,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not a big fan kind of a well,
Speaker 1: I'm not touchy, and I don't love a hug from
Speaker 1: a complete stranger, shall we say? But I do tell
Speaker 1: my kids and people I love, I love them all
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 4: And what's wrong with them?
Speaker 7: What's the negative?
Speaker 8: I've got no issue with telling the people you love.
Speaker 5: I have a issue with telling people that you might
Speaker 5: not even know their surname or where they live, they
Speaker 5: love them.
Speaker 3: Look, I mean I'm a big advocate for love.
Speaker 2: You know. The other day i'd sort of I'd ask
Speaker 2: Lewis to you know, say, you know, I said I
Speaker 2: love you. He's like yeah, he said, do you always
Speaker 2: say that? I was like yeah, And then I just said,
Speaker 2: you know what, no one says it to me.
Speaker 3: Maybe I just need you to say that. Can you
Speaker 3: say it back? And this is some way to school
Speaker 3: poor kid? Ba?
Speaker 8: I just need it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love love.
Speaker 2: But to Mary's point, I knew that I was loved,
Speaker 2: but like our family weren't weren't big on the big
Speaker 2: L words. So when I was last at home, and
Speaker 2: you know, my parents are late seventies now, so you know,
Speaker 2: I'm very kind of all over them like a rash
Speaker 2: just in case, and it's Christmas time, and I was like,
Speaker 2: you guys, like you never say you love each other,
Speaker 2: do you?
Speaker 3: I don't really see hugle hold hands.
Speaker 2: My dad have been like married, I think they've been married,
Speaker 2: Like my mama's only ever been with my dad, Like
Speaker 2: they are a rock solid couple. And they were just like,
Speaker 2: you know, we know, we don't need to say it.
Speaker 2: So now every WhatsApp chat, every time I close the
Speaker 2: FaceTime and they go love you, love you, we love
Speaker 2: each other.
Speaker 3: So yeah, what about you grow space.
Speaker 6: I mean I was Chinese. My parents have never said
Speaker 6: I love you to me until recently. I caught my
Speaker 6: mother off guard. Oh so it was I think it
Speaker 6: was Chinese New Year. I call my mother first thing
Speaker 6: in the morning. She was still asleep. Bear in mind,
Speaker 6: Hong Kong is two hours behind, two three hours behind,
Speaker 6: so I call her. She wasn't expected and she woke up.
Speaker 6: I was like, Hima, Happy New Year's I me and
Speaker 6: she was like.
Speaker 2: I ralph you.
Speaker 7: I'm like what God?
Speaker 6: And I said, did She's just say I love you
Speaker 6: or I rub you?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 6: She said in the English, which is even more funny.
Speaker 6: And I thought, Okay, she's not a drunk and she's
Speaker 6: some crack or she's just not working up. So I'm
Speaker 6: fifty three now, so that is the first time I
Speaker 6: heard her say. Come, I'm not joking. Chinese people do
Speaker 6: not say I love you in the family. Never ever
Speaker 6: have they show love. It's true action. So they could
Speaker 6: love you by giving you a plate of dumplings.
Speaker 4: Yeap.
Speaker 6: That's how they show love by feeding you throw up
Speaker 6: and that's how we roll. But with my kid, I'm
Speaker 6: completely opposite. Like my husband, Jason and I always very affectionate
Speaker 6: with each other, always I love you, and of course
Speaker 6: we fight. But with our kid we always make sure
Speaker 6: he knows. But at the same time, because I'm also
Speaker 6: a feisty mom, so sometimes I kind of I also
Speaker 6: like to say that for me, it's very easy to
Speaker 6: say I love you to a lot of people, right
Speaker 6: because people would full of like bullshit words. I can
Speaker 6: say I love you, Bruna Buch, I don't in your face,
Speaker 6: but what is my action? I much rather to take
Speaker 6: actions over retrick, you know, So it's just too easy.
Speaker 6: Words is too easy. I like to see action.
Speaker 4: I try and do both.
Speaker 1: I mean, I try and do both. But I think
Speaker 1: there's nothing worse. I mean, I'm sure we've all done it,
Speaker 1: but there's nothing worse than when you think someone said
Speaker 1: it to you, even just like in a friendly context,
Speaker 1: and you say I love you too, and they didn't
Speaker 1: say it, or that's happened, right, that's happened. It's like
Speaker 1: when someone says you think someone says, how are you?
Speaker 1: And you go good, thanks, and they never said how
Speaker 1: are you. I don't know why, but I do that
Speaker 1: all the time. I don't love you guys.
Speaker 8: Growing up, my mother told me this story.
Speaker 5: She was working on an assembly line like most migrant workers,
Speaker 5: and that's where you know, they learned all about sex
Speaker 5: and and they learned all about the different cultures because
Speaker 5: they were all working on that line together.
Speaker 8: And she told me about this Ossie woman.
Speaker 5: And every day the Ossie woman's husband would drop her
Speaker 5: at the factory and he would say I love you,
Speaker 5: and she would say I love you back, and my
Speaker 5: mother would of course, who loves sound effects like schlukschlook
Speaker 5: and things like that.
Speaker 8: She said, he would give her a kiss. Matts Mutz.
Speaker 5: That was them both kissing each other. And this Ossie
Speaker 5: woman would talk about how much she loved her husband,
Speaker 5: and every morning there he was again, I love you, darling,
Speaker 5: I love you too, Martsmortz, Mart'smortz. Then one day this
Speaker 5: Australian woman came to work and she was really really upset.
Speaker 8: And all the ethnic women like, well, what happened?
Speaker 5: And she said she got home from work and there
Speaker 5: was a note from her husband and he said, I
Speaker 5: don't love you anymore.
Speaker 8: I love somebody else. I'm leaving you.
Speaker 5: And so that's when I think my mother got a
Speaker 5: real healthy cynicism around how the word is often how
Speaker 5: you feel in that moment, it might not be permanent.
Speaker 5: And she said, your father and I never said I
Speaker 5: love you. I love you all the time, but God,
Speaker 5: I knew he loved me.
Speaker 1: Oh God, you really threw some rainbows and unicorns on
Speaker 1: that one man, that's all.
Speaker 6: Oh God, kath Ma, honey, yes, you know when you said,
Speaker 6: Lewis didn't say back to you. I think with boys
Speaker 6: it's very different than girls, I think. And I had
Speaker 6: that moment for so many times with my kid and
Speaker 6: he's only twelve. But the other day last week I
Speaker 6: dropped him off a school. Before he shut the door,
Speaker 6: he said, Mama, long eye late. I started tearing and
Speaker 6: then he shut that he left. It means I love you,
Speaker 6: And I was thought, wow, I didn't even ask, I
Speaker 6: didn't even say it, and he said it to me,
Speaker 6: So that means he meant it. That meant so much
Speaker 6: more than when I ask him to say it. So
Speaker 6: I think with boys you just have to let them
Speaker 6: do their thing.
Speaker 2: Oh look, in Lewis's defense, because you'll absolutely never listen
Speaker 2: to the podcast. He always says he loves me. And
Speaker 2: what I love is if I'm dropping him and a
Speaker 2: couple of lads to like footage training and we're talking
Speaker 2: like seventeen year olds.
Speaker 3: As he gets out, the carry goes love you.
Speaker 4: Mum says that a lot more than my daughter.
Speaker 7: Yeah more.
Speaker 2: I think I just wanted like an extra couple that
Speaker 2: morning was a need.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I sometimes needed like three or four and come
Speaker 1: on more, I'm back and forth. Do you really annoy
Speaker 1: the hell out of them?
Speaker 7: That's love?
Speaker 2: Right, It is time for blast from the Past and Bruno,
Speaker 2: you set us some homework last week, Yes, that is
Speaker 2: Legit kept me up.
Speaker 3: Explain.
Speaker 1: So last week I was in London and I was
Speaker 1: lucky enough to be. You know, there's this amazing Billie
Speaker 1: Eilish documentary which is basically a kind of concept film
Speaker 1: plus extra and one of the things that wowed me.
Speaker 1: My daughter is she loves Billie Eilish. But one of
Speaker 1: the things that struck me so deeply about watching the
Speaker 1: concert film documentary is the level of passion and connection
Speaker 1: that her fans, these young people all over the globe
Speaker 1: feel for her. I'd never experienced anything like it, and
Speaker 1: it made me think, like, what was that for me?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 1: I am a self confessed not a music person at all,
Speaker 1: but I feel like when I was younger, I was,
Speaker 1: and so I'd love to know from all of you.
Speaker 1: That's why I set you this homework. And I know
Speaker 1: you're kind of all really into music. What was that
Speaker 1: for you? Who was that artist for you? Or what
Speaker 1: was that song that really made you feel connected?
Speaker 3: Well, Brunett, what was yours?
Speaker 1: So I'm an interesting one. I always say I'm good
Speaker 1: at a lot of things, but I know nothing about music,
Speaker 1: and music has just never been my thing. Fun fact,
Speaker 1: when my car got broken into for the third time
Speaker 1: in London, they just stopped stealing my record collection because
Speaker 1: it was so bad that passion.
Speaker 4: In my car.
Speaker 1: But for me, the thing that really makes me feel
Speaker 1: happy when I think about music was the connection to
Speaker 1: my mother. When we were younger, she was always playing
Speaker 1: certain artists and the main artist that my mother always
Speaker 1: played when I was younger was Dolly Parton. Loved Love Dolly,
Speaker 1: So for me, lots of Dolly Parton songs, but the
Speaker 1: one that felt like it kind of was all about
Speaker 1: my life was this song called Code of Many Colors
Speaker 1: by Dolly Parton. So I want you guys to just
Speaker 1: listen to these lyrics for a second and then I'll
Speaker 1: tell you what they mean to me.
Speaker 9: My Code of Many Colors that my MoMA me me.
Speaker 7: Me only from bad, but I wore.
Speaker 5: It song round.
Speaker 7: Although we had no money, I was riches.
Speaker 6: I could be in my Call of Many Colors.
Speaker 4: Mama made me.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean, I'm crying trying because for me,
Speaker 1: we grew up with no money, and my grandma and
Speaker 1: grandpa were Taylor's and they made all our clothes literally,
Speaker 1: and they made all my mother's clothes, and it was
Speaker 1: this very homemade it was very.
Speaker 4: Sound of music, you know, And so I just it makes.
Speaker 1: Me remember that kind of incredible time and that's love
Speaker 1: for me. And so that's why it just makes me
Speaker 1: really emotional hearing those lyrics so lovely.
Speaker 6: We are crying, Yeah, Kath.
Speaker 4: What about you?
Speaker 3: Oh this is very different. I like, I mean, I
Speaker 3: live and die by my tunes.
Speaker 2: So when you set us this homework, I literally I
Speaker 2: went to bed one night at two am because I
Speaker 2: just went down a rabbit on.
Speaker 3: All the songs that means so much to me.
Speaker 2: So I want you to imagine that you are on
Speaker 2: a bus, you're fourteen, You're going to school. You've got
Speaker 2: your Walkman on, You've got clean battery, so you know
Speaker 2: it's going to get you all the way to school
Speaker 2: and back. You've just put a cassette in to the Walkman,
Speaker 2: and then this song comes on, not as teary as yours,
Speaker 2: still tune, So that was the Smith.
Speaker 3: There is a light that never goes out.
Speaker 2: And Damian Jones, who was in the year above mate,
Speaker 2: was my boyfriend and we just started a date and
Speaker 2: he made me a mixtape, which to me now would
Speaker 2: that's worth a diamond ring if somebody makes you a mixtape.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I do miss that about our gen
Speaker 2: next days. And the great thing about him, apart from
Speaker 2: his chiseled looks and that he was a skater and
Speaker 2: a surfer and he did art and he's very moody
Speaker 2: and it's still very handsome now. He had an older
Speaker 2: sister who I'm still friends with. So I'm just probably
Speaker 2: just turned forteen. I'm in the world of Banana Rama, mccassley, Madonna,
Speaker 2: wam all amazing and music I would still listen to now.
Speaker 2: But when I heard that song, and I'm I suppose
Speaker 2: it's like that coming of age moment where I'm falling
Speaker 2: in love for the first time.
Speaker 3: I'm growing up, like, you.
Speaker 2: Know, the whole world is out there and music takes
Speaker 2: you to those places. And suddenly I'm hearing Morrissey and
Speaker 2: I'm hearing the like the juxtaposition.
Speaker 3: Of the music.
Speaker 2: You've got quite dark lyrics if a double decker bus
Speaker 2: crushed into us, did I by your side? But you've
Speaker 2: got it with like a jaunty pop melody that it's
Speaker 2: one of the most beautiful beasts of music. And so
Speaker 2: I think going from you Banana Ramas and mc cassis,
Speaker 2: I was just like, and you know, I grew up
Speaker 2: listening to like the Top forty on the radio, and
Speaker 2: I listened to my mum listen and dad listening to,
Speaker 2: you know, the Dollies and Kenny's. But this was me
Speaker 2: discovering like music that I just wouldn't have heard on
Speaker 2: the radio necessarily on see on Top of the Pops,
Speaker 2: and I just that was the beginning of my love
Speaker 2: affair with the Smiths and Morrissey, which still goes strong
Speaker 2: and storytelling, like the beauty of the like the stys
Speaker 2: you get and his.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. Anyway, the romance with Damien was short lived.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean when you were fourteen, those feelings, because
Speaker 5: they're the ones that have come first, and you never
Speaker 5: forget your big first crushes. They're just all encompassing because
Speaker 5: we're so hormonal, so fresh to the mix, as they
Speaker 5: would say on bad radio shows, you know, and you
Speaker 5: just fresh legs on the field and everything. I remember
Speaker 5: boys used to walk past me, boys that I had
Speaker 5: crushes on at high school. They will walk past me
Speaker 5: in the corridor and I'd lose my breath and I
Speaker 5: miss those feelings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also just how a song can take you
Speaker 1: right back to that moment.
Speaker 2: Straight back to the bus. And I think The Cure
Speaker 2: was the next song on the playless. He just was
Speaker 2: a man of great taste or his sister was so
Speaker 2: thank you.
Speaker 8: Okay.
Speaker 5: So there has never been an artist that has impacted
Speaker 5: more on my life and the way I look at
Speaker 5: the world than Stevie Wonder. When I, like Bruna, grew
Speaker 5: up pretty poor in Collingwood, we moved to the white
Speaker 5: middle class and I was ostracized because I was not white,
Speaker 5: and I was not middle class. I was off white,
Speaker 5: and when I say off, I was off in the
Speaker 5: mixture of the.
Speaker 8: Whites in the area. And my dad bought us a
Speaker 8: record player.
Speaker 5: My brother and I went to buy a few albums
Speaker 5: and we bought Songs in the Key of Life, which
Speaker 5: is considered the favorite album of Prince of Michael Jackson
Speaker 5: of some of the greatest artists of our time. George
Speaker 5: Michael has redone some of the songs on this album.
Speaker 5: At my wedding, I had my very good friend Danni
Speaker 5: Olkaha sing a Stevie Wonder song and so as most
Speaker 5: people that are listening to the podcast if you've listened
Speaker 5: to an earlier podcast, I struggled to become a mum.
Speaker 5: And so when that day finally arrived, where our beautiful
Speaker 5: daughter who's now twelve and a half came into the world,
Speaker 5: we had a playlist. My husband, George, put a playlist
Speaker 5: together and the moment and this we could not have
Speaker 5: controlled this, because that playlist started, you know, ten minutes
Speaker 5: earlier or whatever. And when she first got turned around
Speaker 5: and shown to me by my obstetrician, first time ever
Speaker 5: I saw your face came on ROBERTA Flak. But the
Speaker 5: first time she was put on my chest, this song
Speaker 5: comes on.
Speaker 1: That's the one.
Speaker 8: So that was Stevie wonders, isn't she lovely?
Speaker 7: And she was.
Speaker 5: She was perfect and healthy and the cutest thing I'd
Speaker 5: ever seen. So here's my philosophy. If I'm not laughing,
Speaker 5: I want to be crying. I'm not really interested in
Speaker 5: anything else of them.
Speaker 6: That.
Speaker 5: So that room was the same room I'd lost my
Speaker 5: other daughter in. So this was the complete opposite experience.
Speaker 8: So that was epic. And it was the same people
Speaker 8: in that room with me.
Speaker 5: It was the same obstetrician, the same midwife, my grief
Speaker 5: counselor was there, and no one was crying more than
Speaker 5: my husband. He was crying so much I thought they
Speaker 5: were going to put a nappy on him. So yeah,
Speaker 5: look that that song. Stevie spoke to racism in a
Speaker 5: way that I've never heard anyone. He'd wrapped it up
Speaker 5: in this almost joyous sound, and he made, you know,
Speaker 5: really difficult things to get your head around sort of okay.
Speaker 5: And he became, you know, my my artistic musical god,
Speaker 5: and still is to this day.
Speaker 2: That song I think was number one or it was
Speaker 2: in the high in the charts when I was born.
Speaker 2: So Mum and Dad always say, when it comes on,
Speaker 2: that's what he used to sing to you.
Speaker 4: In You, that's Cat's way of telling how she's younger than.
Speaker 2: Us, not that much.
Speaker 8: What about you, Grace?
Speaker 6: All right, there's a lot of tears going on at
Speaker 6: the moment, So get the tashoe. Wub your eyes because
Speaker 6: I'm going to go shallow because I'm a shadow person.
Speaker 7: Sorry.
Speaker 6: So, when when I was in primary school living in
Speaker 6: Hong Kong, my go to music was always David Bowie
Speaker 6: and David Bowie and David and also Duran Duran, So
Speaker 6: I love those boys. And when China Girl, I mean
Speaker 6: not that my English was very good then, but I
Speaker 6: can read like China Girl, and I thought, oh my god,
Speaker 6: David Bowie is singing about me, trying to girls.
Speaker 8: It's my child.
Speaker 6: So not that I understood everything at that age what
Speaker 6: the lyrics was about, but I just thought, my god, God,
Speaker 6: my idol is singing about my race. I'm seen. It
Speaker 6: was so crazy.
Speaker 8: That's not shallow, that's deep, is it?
Speaker 7: All right?
Speaker 4: You're less shallow than you think.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm way more show than I think. And the
Speaker 6: crazy story about that is I met him in New
Speaker 6: York one time. I mean to say, meat is a
Speaker 6: very strong word. I actually like, what's the word stalked?
Speaker 6: Stalked him? Actually, So I saw him in New York
Speaker 6: when I was there with my friends. I literally ran
Speaker 6: down the street to chase after him and your man
Speaker 6: and they had to run into this building no, and
Speaker 6: the security shut the door, and I was banging David.
Speaker 6: It's like a crazy person. They both looked at me
Speaker 6: like this and then turned their head and they looked
Speaker 6: away trying to like not to see me. But that's
Speaker 6: how much I love him. And the video he had
Speaker 6: a Chinese model in there, or this Chinese girl, and
Speaker 6: then they actually dated very briefly apparent, and there gave
Speaker 6: me a hope that when I grow older, I could
Speaker 6: be his girlfriend. Yeah, you know, because he's hot. He
Speaker 6: was very hot, very hot and very he's got really
Speaker 6: good value sable. Yeah, I love him.
Speaker 4: That was amazing.
Speaker 1: I think we all passed the homework and I'm sure
Speaker 1: they could be like dozens more.
Speaker 2: Or so many more, so many more. We could do
Speaker 2: this weekly. Actually, if you're listening, we would love to
Speaker 2: hear from you. What your song was and what the
Speaker 2: lyrics were that just got into your heart and your
Speaker 2: brain and they take you straight back now when you listen.
Speaker 2: So dm us at Unleashed Dot show on Instagram. Please,
Speaker 2: oh it's so good to unleash today kind of the
Speaker 2: talking sick.
Speaker 3: Please bring yes my homey. Okay.
Speaker 2: So I would like to preface this by saying, not
Speaker 2: every single holiday, okay, but I do have to say
Speaker 2: with a long weekend coming up, I actually dread holidays
Speaker 2: and long weekends. Why well, you know, I've been divorced
Speaker 2: now eleven years, and I've got to say I just
Speaker 2: don't enjoy them. Like since I've been divorced and a
Speaker 2: single parent, I really struggle with holidays.
Speaker 9: Oh I do, like like that'd some good ones, but yeah,
Speaker 9: they really love you.
Speaker 4: Are you're talking about care?
Speaker 1: Are you talking about like holidays and then just long
Speaker 1: weekends like anything that feels like time.
Speaker 8: Yeah, something should be happening.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 9: And I think you know, being the other side of
Speaker 9: the world from your family, then when you make a family,
Speaker 9: and then when you're not in that family anymore, it's
Speaker 9: it's really hard because you have to kind of hijack
Speaker 9: other people's Christmases, other people's Easters and long weekends, and
Speaker 9: that's that's exhausting. But if you don't set something up,
Speaker 9: you know, it's also really lonely.
Speaker 3: So it's a really crappy time.
Speaker 6: Our welcome to our Christmas any time. And it's not
Speaker 6: because I'm sorry for you. It's because we like hanging
Speaker 6: out in me. Okay, I don't want you to think
Speaker 6: that you're going to be hijacking other people's Christmas lunch
Speaker 6: or whatever. So I'm serious thank you's, and I am
Speaker 6: good value.
Speaker 4: Yeah no, we know, we know that, but it's hard.
Speaker 2: You know, Like Lewis was five when we separated, and
Speaker 2: you know, he's an avid sort of little surfer, you know,
Speaker 2: him and dad would always sif so if we went
Speaker 2: on holidays, like a beach holiday, I was the mom
Speaker 2: that never went in the water, and then he could
Speaker 2: like there was all of these things that you just
Speaker 2: you just go oh wow. And now he's seventeen, you know,
Speaker 2: I can't even get him to watch a movie with me,
Speaker 2: let alone and go on holiday. So yeah, I just
Speaker 2: actually prefer just a normal weekend. So that's my loser moment.
Speaker 2: Sh Let me share a sad moment.
Speaker 6: You know, I mean, I think that could happen to
Speaker 6: any of us, you know, a single mom, single parents, right,
Speaker 6: so I completely understand. I mean, who's to say that,
Speaker 6: you know, me and my husband going to be forever,
Speaker 6: something might happen. I'm my big sister. She died when
Speaker 6: she was thirty nine, out of the blue. From the
Speaker 6: day we found out she had cancer to the day
Speaker 6: she died, we only had three months. It was so crazy.
Speaker 6: I watched my brother in law like crumble, like to
Speaker 6: the point that he was not functioning because the kids
Speaker 6: were young. So this could happen to all of us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's you guys have really thrown more more more sparks.
Speaker 7: On this one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've like never really said that out loud, because,
Speaker 2: first of all, you put on a happy face, don't you,
Speaker 2: for holidays, and you don't want to sound like the
Speaker 2: person that's you know, yeah, yeah, miserable.
Speaker 3: So that's the first time I've shared that on a podcast.
Speaker 2: Anyway, what else, what would someone not know about you
Speaker 2: that you're holding carrying every Mother's Day?
Speaker 5: My daughter died on Mother's Day. Oh so that's always
Speaker 5: fraught for me. Oh may so my daughter always says, Mamma,
Speaker 5: what do you want for Mother's Day? And I said,
Speaker 5: three hours in my bedroom.
Speaker 7: On my head. It's probably good to cry.
Speaker 5: And also, my dad died when I was young, so
Speaker 5: Christmases were a shit show too. And it wasn't the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth,
Speaker 5: it was the seventh. It's when the novelty wore off,
Speaker 5: when it started to become normal to be, you know,
Speaker 5: just two or three of us. And that's when Brunna
Speaker 5: and I decided we were going to do orphans Christmases
Speaker 5: from that point on. So I think it is an
Speaker 5: opportunity to really just say this feels terrible and this
Speaker 5: doesn't work for me, and I'm going to try find
Speaker 5: a way to turn it into something else or reimagine
Speaker 5: what it can look like, because that's what we do.
Speaker 5: Grace spent Greek Easter with us this year with her family.
Speaker 5: You know, you just you just try to work it
Speaker 5: into something that's actually fun if you can. And I
Speaker 5: think there's a lot of people that don't like these
Speaker 5: holidays for a million reasons. Yeah, Kath we're all struggling
Speaker 5: with invisible stuff. But I think vulnerability, you know, is
Speaker 5: a really healthy thing. To put out there so you're
Speaker 5: not alone.
Speaker 1: Who know, Yeah, I know, I think it's it's I think,
Speaker 1: particularly as high functioning women, we try and always put
Speaker 1: a positive spin on everything, right, Like Cath, I would
Speaker 1: never have thought that before you said it and shared that,
Speaker 1: and thank you for sharing it. I think what people
Speaker 1: because I'm so high functioning. I think because I have
Speaker 1: loopers and they call it literally the invisible disease because.
Speaker 4: You just it's gotten.
Speaker 1: It's not symptomatic in the ways that other things are,
Speaker 1: but you're just always in pain. Like literally, there's not
Speaker 1: a day I wake up where I'm not in pain. Seriously, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like where I just like the first like I would say,
Speaker 1: sixty seconds of the day, just like my legs are
Speaker 1: so sore when I get out of bed that like
Speaker 1: you know, just like you just have to like get
Speaker 1: into it, and you know, I mean occasionally I would
Speaker 1: say to my husband, I'm having a bad day, but
Speaker 1: for the most part, I just don't talk about it
Speaker 1: because it's boring to me and also because I'm just
Speaker 1: like one of those people who's like, Okay, we'll get
Speaker 1: on with it, right or you know, try and solve it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's a hard thing I think to carry
Speaker 1: all the time. And I know a lot of people,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure a lot of our listeners have lots
Speaker 1: of stuff like chronic pain that is invisible to everyone
Speaker 1: that they really struggle with. And I really have so
Speaker 1: much empathy for, you know, people who deal with that,
Speaker 1: because it's hard, and I think you just you know,
Speaker 1: you have to go on.
Speaker 6: I mean, I'm the kind of person what you see
Speaker 6: is what you get, So I don't really hide stuff
Speaker 6: like if I've got off nipple, I would.
Speaker 8: Tell you that race we didn't know about your sister.
Speaker 6: Yes, so I mean, but it's not a secret. I
Speaker 6: tell when I need to tell. And I've had a
Speaker 6: lot of deaths in my life that people I love
Speaker 6: and very close to me, and I can proudly say
Speaker 6: that at this age, I'm very content of what I have. Finally,
Speaker 6: whereas even a few years ago, I'll be like, why
Speaker 6: have I not got this? I haven't I got that job?
Speaker 7: Or why haven't got more money for this?
Speaker 6: Why are you not always asking why? And then I realized,
Speaker 6: you little piece of shit, you are so ungrateful and
Speaker 6: that is why it's not happening to you. And then
Speaker 6: when I'm my mindset change. I'm actually content of what
Speaker 6: I have now. Maybe it's not a lot to a
Speaker 6: lot of people, but for me, it is enough. And
Speaker 6: I think when you when I've reached that goal recently,
Speaker 6: even I feel like, okay, good things will happen, because
Speaker 6: once you're grateful, things will start changing, starts shifting. And
Speaker 6: I mean some of you might not know. I have
Speaker 6: a huge cat phobia.
Speaker 3: Huge.
Speaker 6: Here it's the only pussy. I'm not scared of this
Speaker 6: all of us and hello kitty.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, so I have a.
Speaker 6: Huge cat phobia. If I go to your house, the
Speaker 6: first our ask, not you're a dress, is do you
Speaker 6: have a cat?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Oh my god, there is it. I get so freaked out.
Speaker 6: I don't even know what I'm doing. This is how
Speaker 6: bad it is. I once grabbed a guy off the
Speaker 6: street in Hong Kong because three cats jump in front
Speaker 6: of me. I literally grabbed him and said walk with me,
Speaker 6: and we ran up in my five inch tairs. That's
Speaker 6: how scared I am.
Speaker 4: I empathized with that.
Speaker 6: I really do so more things you don't know about me.
Speaker 6: Can I please have the talking stick?
Speaker 3: Of course?
Speaker 7: Grace.
Speaker 6: So I have a confession. I had itchy skin for ages,
Speaker 6: and I thought, oh my god, and other fucking perimenopause symptoms.
Speaker 6: So I asked my husband Jason, can you check my
Speaker 6: neck and my shoulder because it's very itchy, check the rash.
Speaker 6: He goes, there's nothing. There's nothing. Every fucking day. There's
Speaker 6: nothing for four days, and then one morning I woke
Speaker 6: up it dawned on me. Oh my god, and I said, Jay,
Speaker 6: can you please check my hair? And it's always itchy
Speaker 6: when I lie down in bed.
Speaker 7: Oh, and he said, you have ni.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, we have so to our lovely listeners.
Speaker 6: I'm germophobic. So can you imagine what went down the
Speaker 6: next three days after that, I basically burn a whole down,
Speaker 6: boiled everything, bleach everything. And it came from my kid.
Speaker 4: I told you that.
Speaker 6: So then I send my husband Jason out to buy
Speaker 6: all the shampool that we can get. Only one hundred
Speaker 6: of them, so if you ever need anymore, just ask me.
Speaker 6: And we did the whole shebang. And then I thought,
Speaker 6: how the hell did he get like headlines because we
Speaker 6: were on school holiday. It's a few months ago. Then
Speaker 6: I thought, oh my god, is that day?
Speaker 7: I knew it.
Speaker 6: I knew it that day when we went on a
Speaker 6: tram and it was very crowded and we were so
Speaker 6: squashed with against people. So ever since then, I do
Speaker 6: not get on a crowded tram I know in Melbourne.
Speaker 6: I swear to God. It's from the I'm one hundred
Speaker 6: percent of what was a tram because because we don't,
Speaker 6: I'm trying to throw but I don't get close to people.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 6: I don't get close to people. I don't even shake hands.
Speaker 6: I do fistbum all the time. So that was the
Speaker 6: only day when I said to Jason it's two crowd,
Speaker 6: let's wait. He goes, no, No, let's get on. I
Speaker 6: knew its it. He should have listened to me.
Speaker 7: So yeah. So when you.
Speaker 6: Blame something on perimenopause, it's not always.
Speaker 8: Yeah I am scripch is it?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah? Or bloody hell? What kind of show can
Speaker 2: you say that? You can have a laugh, you can
Speaker 2: have a cry, music can take you back and we
Speaker 2: can talk.
Speaker 7: About head license. Yes, great, what do you reckon? Wow?
Speaker 3: I think we're done, though, ladies, are we done?
Speaker 7: We're done? Wrap it up, We're so done.
Speaker 2: Listen, if you've got someone in your life that you
Speaker 2: think would like to hear this show.
Speaker 3: You know, we do the lulls, we do the highs,
Speaker 3: we do the lows, we.
Speaker 2: Did the tears today. If you think that might help her,
Speaker 2: send her the link. Send her the link and if
Speaker 2: you have any questions or any suggestions and lyrics send
Speaker 2: them in at Unleash Dot Show on our Instagram.
Speaker 7: Yes m us, thank you, what do we like to say?
Speaker 8: See Tuesday.
Speaker 2: Until then, stay unfiltered, stay unreasonable, and stay unleashed.
Speaker 8: Bye.
Speaker 7: Mamma.
Speaker 2: Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that
Speaker 2: this podcast is recorded on