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Speaker 1: So you're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mama Maya

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Speaker 1: acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this

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Speaker 1: podcast is recorded on. I love how breast pumps are like, okay,

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Speaker 1: what's your flange size? We've got a ten, we've got

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Speaker 1: a twenty, And it's like, okay, firstly, what's a flange?

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Speaker 1: What is a flange? And secondly how do I measure it?

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Speaker 1: And thirdly what is it? The Baby Bubble with Claire

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Speaker 1: and Jesse Stevens. It's definitely not a parenting advice podcast. Claire,

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Speaker 1: it is our final episode of this season, and I

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Speaker 1: want to treat this like a bit of a six

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Speaker 1: month checkup. Just while you're at that. Do I need

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Speaker 1: to take Matilda for a six month checker? I can't remember. Okay,

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Speaker 1: she's about six months. I feel like, no, I think

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Speaker 1: she needs some vaccinations. You know. I turned up once

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Speaker 1: for a checkup. I was like, I'm here for my

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Speaker 1: fire month checkup and they're like, that's not a thing.

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Speaker 1: There's no vaccination, there's nothing we can do for you.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, I will get a repeat of

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Speaker 1: my script while i'm and if you just want to

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Speaker 1: just give her a once over once over a bit

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Speaker 1: of a way. I was like, she has a mosquito

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Speaker 1: bite on her arm, we might as well get it

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Speaker 1: looked at. But when she was having that ear issue anyway,

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Speaker 1: I just like I got them looking at it. But

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you have a six months check up,

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Speaker 1: and again, no one tells you they do. But where Okay,

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Speaker 1: I know, I've tried to google it and it's unclear.

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Speaker 1: It's uncle. What did we learn Actually no, we learned nothing.

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Speaker 1: We refuse to share any insight. It's more what surprised you?

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Speaker 1: What kind of mother are you? Or what kind of

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Speaker 1: mother are you not? What is your toxic trait? If

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Speaker 1: you can limit it to just the one. What I've discovered, Claire,

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Speaker 1: is that Okay, I don't know if I've discovered it.

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Speaker 1: I just want to check that this is the thing

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Speaker 1: we're all in agreement about. Have you seen the TikTok

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Speaker 1: videos where it's like me doing a wake window with

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Speaker 1: my baby and it's your baby doing tummy time and

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Speaker 1: they've got like that water mat. Yes, chigure out this

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Speaker 1: tell me Time water mat from Amazon. You fill the

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Speaker 1: center part with water and the outside is inflated with

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Speaker 1: air and then you flip it over and it's a

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Speaker 1: cool water tummy time mat that babies can play on.

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Speaker 1: Cently does that seem to mind at all? And usually

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Speaker 1: he hates SEMMI time there's got all the things in it.

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Speaker 1: Every day I need that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're not

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Speaker 1: doing that right. No, like, no one's Jesse a wake

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Speaker 1: window with like prepared activities. Jesse Matilda is six months old,

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Speaker 1: she's still barely does tell me about Okay, okay, does

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Speaker 1: anyone actually have a feeding pillow? Because it's like a

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Speaker 1: clean breastfeeding pillow. And I see them wake up, these

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Speaker 1: people on TikTok and they're in pajamas. Firstly, often I

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Speaker 1: wake up and I don't have a shirt on. No,

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Speaker 1: I think I got night sweat so bad, I got hot.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, someone came to my door the other day.

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Speaker 1: A neighbor was kind of popping in to say something,

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Speaker 1: and I stuck my head out and was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't have pants on. Ever, well, if I have pets on,

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Speaker 1: I don't have a top on. And if I have the

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Speaker 1: top on, I don't have pants. So it's like a

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Speaker 1: one or the other type thing. But I see these

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Speaker 1: women get up in lawnded silk pajamas. Their hair appears clean,

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Speaker 1: and then they like get their baby out of the basinette.

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Speaker 1: They appeared to wake their baby. Yeah that's wild. Oh

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Speaker 1: I'll wake my baby up. Why is he baby sleeping?

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Speaker 1: There's a question why and how? What time is it?

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Speaker 1: There appears to be sun. Actually they do their skin

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Speaker 1: care before their baby gets up. And I'm like, when

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Speaker 1: is the before the baby gets up? Where am I

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Speaker 1: would be three thirty am? So they wake the baby

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Speaker 1: up and they have these clean pajamas, lawns of pajamas,

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Speaker 1: and then they get out there feeding pillow which is

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Speaker 1: often like white and I'm like, mine would be shit

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Speaker 1: stage and I have a projective voment on it. They

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Speaker 1: like put the baby on and then they like breastfeed

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Speaker 1: in bed while playing a lullaby or some shit. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: is this actually how anyone's days are looking? Absolutely not.

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Speaker 1: They're very much like, oh we have a wake window

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Speaker 1: when we're playing a blah blah, and it's like, okay,

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Speaker 1: when do you set up the camera? I wonder this,

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Speaker 1: When did you clean the area so that you wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be judged as a terrible mother for the day From

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Speaker 1: the contents of your video or I then see the

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Speaker 1: nighttime routine where it's like they go into the nursery

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Speaker 1: and the swaddle or the sack. It's all like laid outs,

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Speaker 1: laid out with like the dummy next to it and

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Speaker 1: all of the things, and they've softly touched their baby

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Speaker 1: and do like a wine down routine. They sing a

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Speaker 1: little song, they sit down, they do their three books

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Speaker 1: or something, and I'm like, okay, what about when you've

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Speaker 1: lost track of time? You go, shit, it's five past

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Speaker 1: seven and I haven't done my thing. You throw your

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Speaker 1: baby into the bar. I can't explain how it happens,

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Speaker 1: but you lob the baby into the bath. You then

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Speaker 1: do a quick clean of the bits. Yeah, often they're

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Speaker 1: sticky hands often and under the chin. You get them out.

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Speaker 1: The baby's like, ah, why are we doing a book? Well, no,

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Speaker 1: there's no time. It's suddenly eight o'clock and it's past

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Speaker 1: your bedtime. Everything is ruined, the whole thing. And then

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to put you in a nappy. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to put you in your thing. I can't find any

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Speaker 1: of this shit. It's in the washing machine wet. And

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Speaker 1: then I don't know where a dummy is. Oh, it's

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Speaker 1: under your cot. Seems clean. Shove that the mouth, drop

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Speaker 1: baby into cot. Nighttime routine done last night. Like it's interesting.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, it was bath time. It was a time,

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Speaker 1: and I decided to give her a bath, and she

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Speaker 1: was like, mum, I'm so effing tired, and she screwed

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Speaker 1: the entire time she was in the bath, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, babe, you have mush all over your face,

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Speaker 1: you have mush all under your chin. And the other

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Speaker 1: thing is you've got some pool on your butt. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you got some poo on your butt that I clean

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Speaker 1: and we've got to clean it. And so I'm giving

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Speaker 1: her a button. She was fuman. And the thing is,

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Speaker 1: everything from bathtime to bedtime, it's all arbitrary. I've pulled

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Speaker 1: it out of my house. It's not actually any of

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Speaker 1: those times. I'm just trying to impose a routine on

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Speaker 1: a routineless monkey. And then this is the thing. We'll

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Speaker 1: get to this, but I'm not a routine person, and

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Speaker 1: I'll go, oh, no, usually we do seven o'clock, but

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Speaker 1: it's seven forty five. And then I remember, she ain't

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Speaker 1: got no clue about time. She said watch, she doesn't

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Speaker 1: have a watch, can't read the time, she doesn't know how,

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Speaker 1: she feels, she's got no idea. And then you try

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Speaker 1: and trick them into thinking that Mummy's got this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and Mummy's never got this. Remember we did that episode

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Speaker 1: this season on our partner's being incompetent, and we couldn't

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Speaker 1: get all the content into one episode. And there was

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Speaker 1: one story that I remembered that I thought this show

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Speaker 1: needs it, which is the time that I got Luca

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Speaker 1: to read Lunar Book. Because I quite like reading Lunar Book.

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Speaker 1: I don't mind it. I thought it would be a

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Speaker 1: lot worse than I actually is. Yeah, because it's new

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Speaker 1: for me too. Yeah, and that's the thing. I've got

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Speaker 1: my books. She'll often reach for one, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I hate that book you and I've talked about. Is

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Speaker 1: a Grug we hate? Okay? Some feedback on Grug. Grug

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Speaker 1: ends in a very anticlimactic way with Grug getting a letterbox,

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Speaker 1: and I just think it just wasn't the dark take me.

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Speaker 1: I need it. I literally finished Grug and I turned

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Speaker 1: to my children and went, that wasn't the best one,

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Speaker 1: was it? We might prefer where the wild things are.

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Speaker 1: I don't love the very hungry caterpillar. I think it's shamey.

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Speaker 1: It's like the caterpillar one day binge eit. Yeah, we've

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Speaker 1: all been there, and then it's like, oh, gotta saw

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Speaker 1: tummy blah blah blah. And I'm like, well, let's not

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Speaker 1: just ten months old. Yeah, let's not project diet culture

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Speaker 1: to my child, who, by the way, we're trying to

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Speaker 1: get her to gain weight. Yeah, so she wants a

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Speaker 1: piece of cake and a lollipop, go for it. Well.

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Speaker 1: The one thing I will say about the Hungry caterpillar, though,

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Speaker 1: it does become a butterfly, so I think it actually

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Speaker 1: has some lovely messages about eating your sweets. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: I think I've mentioned it. Her favorite book is My

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Speaker 1: best Friend is a Shrauf, And I said to Luca,

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Speaker 1: can you this while I go downstairs to do a bottle?

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Speaker 1: And he opened the book and said, my best Friend

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Speaker 1: is the druff. And then he turned the page and

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Speaker 1: he said, my best Friend is a draft. Because it

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Speaker 1: often says it on the next page. I skip that

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Speaker 1: because I just think that's repetitive. And she wants to

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Speaker 1: get to the touchy feely Yeah, because it's a sensory book,

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Speaker 1: and what she likes to do is get her at

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Speaker 1: finger and do a little touch of all the things.

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Speaker 1: That's actually why we're reading it. She doesn't know the plot.

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Speaker 1: And Luca's like, bye, Peter Smith Edition, second Edition, Saint

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Speaker 1: Martin's Press, twenty twenty one. And I'm listening to this downstairs,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, Luca Levine doesn't know how to

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Speaker 1: read a book. He actually does. I know he's not

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Speaker 1: a reader, not like me, but he doesn't understand that

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Speaker 1: none of that's relevant to purfluous That we don't need

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Speaker 1: the back catalog of Paul Smith, we don't need the dedication,

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Speaker 1: we don't need where it was published, certainly don't need

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Speaker 1: the publisher. You just know. Luna was looking at him

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Speaker 1: being like, are you dad? I don't care. I know

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Speaker 1: how to read a book better than you, which is

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Speaker 1: you open the flaps. She loves the flap. My least

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Speaker 1: favorite children's book is Where Is the Green Sheep?

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Speaker 2: Because it's so freaking repetitive.

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Speaker 1: And he could just skip to the end. Guess what

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Speaker 1: it's on the last page. You welcome has to be

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Speaker 1: the Giving Tree. Not because they don't love the story.

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Speaker 2: It's just so depressing. Guess how much I love you

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Speaker 2: because they didn't name the characters, So having to say

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Speaker 2: little nut brown hair and big nut brown hair four

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Speaker 2: hundred times in a book is just infuriating.

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Speaker 1: I will say though, the first time I read Matilda

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Speaker 1: a book, I was a little bit Alan and Unwin

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Speaker 1: published in nineteen ninety five. Yeah, no, I was because

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Speaker 1: I thought, we're trying to stretch. The important part of

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Speaker 1: this is simply talking, simply saying words. She doesn't know

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Speaker 1: what the words I shall, don't know what the important

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Speaker 1: bits are. This was before she was at all conscious.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, I'm pretty sure she had her eyes closed. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like, let's read, let's read, let's read. The other

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Speaker 1: thing I wanted to float was the anxiety, as I

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Speaker 1: didn't expect to have so one. I remember really stressing

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Speaker 1: about and Luna is now. I think she's eleven months

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Speaker 1: by the time this comes out, she might be a year.

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Speaker 1: I lost so much sleep about the shape of that

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Speaker 1: baby's head, and I thought, is this permanent? Because one

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Speaker 1: side of her head is completely flat, flat as a board,

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Speaker 1: flat as a wall. And what I would do is

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Speaker 1: the thing that they tell you to do which is

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Speaker 1: she would be asleep on the side because she always

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Speaker 1: slept on that side, and I would turn her head

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Speaker 1: and then she would go back. And people said to me,

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Speaker 1: I think a doctor said, if it doesn't fix, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to take her to a baby physio. And

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Speaker 1: I thought, that's my worst nightmare, going to a baby

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Speaker 1: physio who's like, here are some exercises and it's like,

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Speaker 1: she ain't gonna follow it. No, so I've got to

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Speaker 1: enforce your baby physio exercises because her neck apparently only

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Speaker 1: turns one way. No, Matilda was the same and so

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Speaker 1: so so flat. And actually at a recent appointment, I

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Speaker 1: did go and you know how they take the measurements.

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Speaker 1: They go length, wait, headhead coom friends. I always like,

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Speaker 1: they did her head circumference and she said, I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to give you that measurement because it's not accurate

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Speaker 1: because of the shape of her head. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: here's a question. Do we have to turn our head

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Speaker 1: both ways? I know? How often does it come up?

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Speaker 1: I know, I know, but I will say, Look, we

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Speaker 1: talk about when they get hand privileges. It's a big

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Speaker 1: milestone for a baby when she gets hand privileges because

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Speaker 1: she was in her little swaddle and then you kind

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Speaker 1: of have to take them out of the swaddle once

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Speaker 1: they can roll. But I feel like everybody's maybe always

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Speaker 1: a little bit delayed where you go, oh no, she's

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Speaker 1: rolling and she's still in a swaddle, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like a terrible mum.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, she's now got her hand privileges, and now that

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Speaker 1: she does, she's actually sleeping on the other side, and

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, well done, let's flatten both sides equally, so

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Speaker 1: we're a bit more symmetrical, Matilda Claire. True or false?

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Speaker 1: Does this baby item exist? It's not sucker a straw.

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Speaker 1: You stick one end in your mouth and the other

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Speaker 1: up the baby's blocked nose and there's the name said, Yes,

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Speaker 1: you suck the snot out of their face. Bloody does.

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Speaker 1: I got one and moms are obsessed with it. But

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Speaker 1: the interesting thing is apparently they're just meant to be

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Speaker 1: congested and full of snot. Well yeah, no, no, no that

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Speaker 1: but apparently like you can just put your mouth over

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Speaker 1: your baby's nose, and I've done that. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's disgusting, but yeah, you don't need a

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Speaker 1: snot sucker when your mouth can be the snot suck y.

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Speaker 1: But I don't think we need to even like get

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Speaker 1: the snot out, Like they're okay with a bit of snot.

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Speaker 1: They don't care. They actually don't even know they are

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Speaker 1: a baby, just on the very hungry caterpillar thing. I've

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Speaker 1: listened to more children's music in the last few months

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Speaker 1: than I ever cared to listen to, and there are

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Speaker 1: problematic lyrics. Yeah. So one thing that I've said to

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Speaker 1: Luca when I'm playing the Wiggles is they're going do

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Speaker 1: the monkey anyway, and then they've got these bits that

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Speaker 1: are like, you know when people comes in and just

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Speaker 1: starts yelling, what does he yell? Mister worldwide? Mister worldwide. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the Wiggles do that, but they say everyone's doing it.

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Speaker 1: They do it over the top. And every time they

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Speaker 1: do that because they're telling you to do the monkey

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Speaker 1: or do the elephant, and then they're like everyone's doing it.

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Speaker 1: And I always turn to Luna and I have to

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Speaker 1: say to her, we don't do things just because everyone

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Speaker 1: else is doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah do we

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Speaker 1: We're not a conformist to undo some of those lessons

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Speaker 1: because I see Luna being sixteen being offered some math yeah,

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Speaker 1: and her brain's going everyone's and it's like, no, Luna,

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Speaker 1: I know, this is about everyone's clapping, everybody clapping everybody.

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Speaker 1: It's very much about conformity, yeah, and following the crowd.

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Speaker 1: And I feel as though that he's not always the

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Speaker 1: best lesson. I like. So. One of our favorite songs

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Speaker 1: is Skinner Marinky Dinky do, Skinner rinky yeah, yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: And in that they're like Skinner marink, I love you anyway,

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Speaker 1: and then when they're like Dorothy take it away and

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Speaker 1: she breaks it down. She breaks it down in the morning.

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Speaker 1: I love that baby, and then Dorothy comes in. I'm

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Speaker 1: pretty sure it's just to emmal wiggle. It is a remix.

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Speaker 1: It's a remix, and in facts making of remixes, because

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Speaker 1: I put it on potato every morning. She loves potato,

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Speaker 1: and then Spotify automatically defaults to hot Potato the remix

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Speaker 1: FT she hates it. I don't want the house version.

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Speaker 1: I want the house version. I want the OG the

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Speaker 1: o G. That's the one that I like. Low it down,

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Speaker 1: slow it down, let's get back to basics. I like

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Speaker 1: the acoustic. She says something that I it's taken me

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Speaker 1: this long to learn, right. I think in life I'm

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Speaker 1: very slow things. I have no natural ability at anything.

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Speaker 1: I have no instinctual natural ability at sport, at learning.

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Speaker 1: I found that. And it's really hard for job interviews

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Speaker 1: because often you have to say I'm a fast learner. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that's just straight out last. And I'm really slow

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Speaker 1: to pick things up. Actually, I'm really slow to pick

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Speaker 1: things up. But it's like, I promise, once I pick

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Speaker 1: them up, I've got it. Yeah, but it might take

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Speaker 1: me a few years. But I resist the thing. Yeah. Like,

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Speaker 1: for example, at this job, when I think about my

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Speaker 1: first few years here, I think the number of times

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Speaker 1: I should have been fired for just not getting it.

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Speaker 1: I just didn't get it anyway. I'm the same as

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Speaker 1: a parent. There's just a lot that has just not computed,

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Speaker 1: and then it clicks and I think, oh, that would

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Speaker 1: have been lovely to have earlier, but it clicked. So

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Speaker 1: I have only just got my head around the fact

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Speaker 1: that babies are people and the thing that's not really

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Speaker 1: not really and the thing about people. For example, here's

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Speaker 1: a question that comes up in all sorts of like

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Speaker 1: Facebook parenting groups, my baby hasn't pood in five days?

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Speaker 1: What do I do? And my filter now is okay,

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Speaker 1: what if I hadn't pood in five days? Would I

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Speaker 1: go to hospital? No, it's not a hospital type issue. No,

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Speaker 1: it's a me issue. You're constipated, Yeah, and you look

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Speaker 1: at it. It's just also like my baby's going for no reason,

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Speaker 1: and it's like that was me yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: And people say I gave my baby a bottle and

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Speaker 1: I forgot to burn my baby. What do I do?

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Speaker 1: It's okay, it's okay. Your baby will burp eventually. And

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Speaker 1: this is the thing won't or won't? Your baby isn't

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Speaker 1: a machine where it's gonna malfunction. It's a person. It's

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Speaker 1: not like input equals output. No, it's not like if

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Speaker 1: I put in the perfect code, I'll get in the

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Speaker 1: perfect baby. No. I remember Matila hadn't pooed in seven days,

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Speaker 1: and I called the breastfeeding hotline and I was like, urgent,

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Speaker 1: urgent emergency, she hasn't pooded in seven days, And the

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Speaker 1: woman was very much like she'll pooh, she'll pooh. What's

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Speaker 1: to say that? But remember I went down that rabbit hole.

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Speaker 1: I went down a Reddit rabbit hole about what happens

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Speaker 1: when you get someone I know got really really severely

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Speaker 1: constipated and said that he burped and it tasted like feces.

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Speaker 1: So I went down this thing about whether you can

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Speaker 1: purp up a fart, and you can. I know you

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Speaker 1: don't one your baby burping up a far. No, But

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Speaker 1: nine times out of ten she's not burping out a fart.

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Speaker 1: She's just going to do a big pooh. And that's

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Speaker 1: something that I have learnt and that has taken me

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Speaker 1: this to get to Okay, She's just a person who

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Speaker 1: behaves strangely, because people behave strangely. If that don't make sense.

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Speaker 2: One word to describe the first six months of parenting incredible.

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Speaker 1: One word unhinged. Yeah. I was delirious tired, and if

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Speaker 1: I could say two words, I would say very tired.

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Speaker 1: I did something stupid in the early days that I

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Speaker 1: look back on. I go, if I have another baby,

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Speaker 1: I doing that again. And that was that. Remember, we

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Speaker 1: went to the baby Spa. We went separately and they

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Speaker 1: taught us about baby massage, and there was this moment

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Speaker 1: where I found myself giving my six week old baby

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Speaker 1: a thorough like thighs, arms, back massage, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: is this baby stressed? No, does this baby have any

349
00:18:28,069 --> 00:18:32,469
Speaker 1: muscle tension? Shouldn't doesn't move. Is this baby like physically,

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00:18:32,869 --> 00:18:37,269
Speaker 1: you know, going training and needs the knots removed from

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Speaker 1: its hamstrings? Baby doesn't have hamstrings. I don't think this

352
00:18:40,109 --> 00:18:42,669
Speaker 1: baby has knees. I don't know if this baby has muscles.

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Speaker 1: If this baby is feeling tension, now, things are only

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Speaker 1: going to get worse. You're not gonna be able to

355
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Speaker 1: cope now. As a forty year old, I remember deeply

356
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Speaker 1: massaging Matilda's feet and then thinking there are two of

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Speaker 1: us in the room. One of us needs the massage

358
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Speaker 1: and it ain't you, and one of us uses our feet. Yeah.

359
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Speaker 1: So the end of this season, I thought we should

360
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Speaker 1: reflect on our most toxic trait as mothers, which is

361
00:19:07,509 --> 00:19:10,509
Speaker 1: something that doesn't get enough airtime. And everybody's got one

362
00:19:10,629 --> 00:19:13,589
Speaker 1: or seventeen. Well, yeah, we have fifty five each, but

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Speaker 1: we don't have the time. So I decided that what

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Speaker 1: my greatest toxic trade is is insisting to everyone, visitors, strangers,

365
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Speaker 1: my husband. The lunar is a baby genius when she

366
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Speaker 1: just reaches her milestones in a very average fashion. Well yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I'll say something, Oh, Luna's got a bit more hair,

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Speaker 1: and your reaction is, yeah, she's perfect. Yeah, yeah, I

369
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Speaker 1: didn't say that. I didn't say that. I just said

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Speaker 1: she was growing a bit more hair. Okay. I feel

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Speaker 1: like in order for someone to have access to my

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Speaker 1: house or access to like, let's say we go out

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Speaker 1: to brunch and now I put Luner up at like

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Speaker 1: a high chair or whatever. She often wasn't invited this

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Speaker 1: whole thing, but I put her there. And it's like,

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Speaker 1: in order to gain access to any sort of conversation,

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00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:05,749
Speaker 1: you must first remark that my baby is a genius. Yeah. Yeah,

378
00:20:05,749 --> 00:20:08,629
Speaker 1: we must all engage in the shared delusion that my

379
00:20:08,789 --> 00:20:12,109
Speaker 1: baby is unlike any other baby. And my other babies

380
00:20:12,109 --> 00:20:14,829
Speaker 1: her age can clap quite loudly, but she's clapping silently

381
00:20:15,109 --> 00:20:18,789
Speaker 1: with her tongue hanging out. I've never seen anything like it,

382
00:20:19,989 --> 00:20:22,869
Speaker 1: and we should remark, and they'll walk into my house.

383
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,749
Speaker 1: Luna is sitting in the corner blowing spit bubbles, seven

384
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:29,909
Speaker 1: months late, and I'm like, please come on, behold, behold

385
00:20:29,909 --> 00:20:32,309
Speaker 1: my baby genius. Have you ever seen anything like that?

386
00:20:33,349 --> 00:20:36,309
Speaker 1: She is the most advanced human. I look at Luca,

387
00:20:36,349 --> 00:20:38,749
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I've never met anyone smarter, you know,

388
00:20:38,789 --> 00:20:41,349
Speaker 1: the fully conscious baby thing. Yeah, ye, that baby ain't

389
00:20:41,349 --> 00:20:44,629
Speaker 1: got nothing on my Luna. Yeah, look at her. And meanwhile,

390
00:20:44,709 --> 00:20:49,629
Speaker 1: Luna's like, yeay, yay, yay, yeah, yeah, uh oh, Luna

391
00:20:49,709 --> 00:20:52,509
Speaker 1: one hundred percent thinks she's a dog. Yeah, she crawls

392
00:20:52,549 --> 00:20:54,669
Speaker 1: and then she throws a ball and then goes the chaser. Yeah,

393
00:20:54,669 --> 00:20:56,149
Speaker 1: and puts things in her mouth to get from one

394
00:20:56,149 --> 00:20:59,709
Speaker 1: place to the other because she's seen Chili do it. Yeah. Yeah, Okay,

395
00:20:59,789 --> 00:21:02,229
Speaker 1: So that's your toxic trait, thinking of baby's a genius

396
00:21:02,269 --> 00:21:04,669
Speaker 1: when there is simply no evidence to confirm that. No,

397
00:21:04,749 --> 00:21:07,309
Speaker 1: in fact, she's a little late. Sometimes. My toxic trait,

398
00:21:07,949 --> 00:21:10,709
Speaker 1: and I've thought about this a lot, and toxic trait

399
00:21:10,949 --> 00:21:15,069
Speaker 1: is a total lack of routine. And it's ok, I

400
00:21:15,109 --> 00:21:19,709
Speaker 1: don't have any routine in my life. You know. Some

401
00:21:19,709 --> 00:21:21,509
Speaker 1: people get up at the same time every day. Yeah,

402
00:21:21,549 --> 00:21:23,589
Speaker 1: you never have go to bed at the same time,

403
00:21:24,029 --> 00:21:26,909
Speaker 1: do the same thing every day. I thrive off chaos,

404
00:21:27,189 --> 00:21:30,709
Speaker 1: I think. So the prime thing about me is I

405
00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:33,429
Speaker 1: love novelty. Let's get up at a different time every day.

406
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:36,629
Speaker 1: Let's do something completely different every day. Is it conducive

407
00:21:36,669 --> 00:21:39,629
Speaker 1: to getting anything done? Absolutely not? Or good mental health? No, no,

408
00:21:39,629 --> 00:21:41,909
Speaker 1: no no. I just like to keep us on our toes. Babies.

409
00:21:41,909 --> 00:21:45,229
Speaker 1: Take that. I've never followed a routine in my life.

410
00:21:45,349 --> 00:21:46,829
Speaker 1: And then I look at my baby and I think

411
00:21:47,669 --> 00:21:51,349
Speaker 1: I'm expected to impose a routine on you. How can

412
00:21:51,389 --> 00:21:52,789
Speaker 1: I have a routine for you when I don't have

413
00:21:52,829 --> 00:21:55,869
Speaker 1: a routine for me? That's so true. Like it's like,

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00:21:55,909 --> 00:21:57,069
Speaker 1: when was the last time you're fed?

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00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:57,389
Speaker 2: I don't.

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00:21:57,829 --> 00:22:00,109
Speaker 1: It's absolute chaos that worked for me. Where it's like

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00:22:00,149 --> 00:22:02,069
Speaker 1: I think she's hungry, I think she needs a sleep.

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00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:04,989
Speaker 1: I'll do a bit of a play. But now I'm

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00:22:04,989 --> 00:22:07,949
Speaker 1: meant to be implementing a routine. I don't know what

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00:22:07,989 --> 00:22:18,149
Speaker 1: time it is. Crap Advice. It is time for our

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00:22:18,229 --> 00:22:23,229
Speaker 1: last crap advice. Claire. We got an email. Hello you two,

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00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:25,709
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for your podcast. It hasn't been helpful

423
00:22:25,709 --> 00:22:28,549
Speaker 1: at all. Here's my dilemma. I'd love some help with.

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00:22:29,869 --> 00:22:33,589
Speaker 1: I cannot deal with all the stuff, the toys, the clothes,

425
00:22:33,629 --> 00:22:35,869
Speaker 1: the bottles, the books, the high chair, the food, the mess.

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00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:38,469
Speaker 1: I feel like all I do is tidy up all

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00:22:38,549 --> 00:22:41,949
Speaker 1: his stuff and clean bottles and plates and spoons. If

428
00:22:41,949 --> 00:22:44,069
Speaker 1: I have to scrub that high chair one more time,

429
00:22:44,109 --> 00:22:47,469
Speaker 1: I think I might scream any tips for keeping stuff

430
00:22:47,469 --> 00:22:49,989
Speaker 1: to a minimum and finding a way to not just

431
00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:55,589
Speaker 1: constantly clean. All right, everything becomes less stressful when everything

432
00:22:55,669 --> 00:23:02,109
Speaker 1: is the bin. Ah. Yes, So having designated bin areas

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00:23:02,149 --> 00:23:04,469
Speaker 1: means that the stuff needs to go in them. But

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00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:07,869
Speaker 1: if everywhere is the bin, then that is its place. Yeah,

435
00:23:07,909 --> 00:23:12,389
Speaker 1: then everything is away, things put away exactly. So I

436
00:23:12,429 --> 00:23:19,149
Speaker 1: think that I would suggest leaning in to squalor and

437
00:23:19,229 --> 00:23:22,509
Speaker 1: leaning into I mean, this is my life stage. I

438
00:23:22,509 --> 00:23:26,589
Speaker 1: think by fully embracing this, when someone comes to the door,

439
00:23:26,789 --> 00:23:33,109
Speaker 1: you hiss, so because the home is dark, it smells,

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00:23:33,669 --> 00:23:37,909
Speaker 1: and there is stuff everywhere all of the time. There's

441
00:23:38,029 --> 00:23:40,109
Speaker 1: mush on the ceiling. There's mush on the ceiling. You

442
00:23:40,109 --> 00:23:42,829
Speaker 1: don't know how it got there. So that's one piece

443
00:23:42,829 --> 00:23:45,429
Speaker 1: of advice I would give. Perhaps a family member or

444
00:23:45,469 --> 00:23:48,029
Speaker 1: a friend offers to clean your home, and they don't

445
00:23:48,029 --> 00:23:50,109
Speaker 1: know what they've offered to do. They haven't seen your home,

446
00:23:50,149 --> 00:23:52,389
Speaker 1: and they say, I'll come over and clean up, and

447
00:23:52,429 --> 00:23:54,749
Speaker 1: they come into what can only be described as a

448
00:23:54,789 --> 00:23:59,229
Speaker 1: hoarder's nest, and then it's like den and you say

449
00:23:59,829 --> 00:24:04,109
Speaker 1: you promised, you said, my leg is broken, and then

450
00:24:04,149 --> 00:24:06,709
Speaker 1: you lay there while they sort it out. Yeah, you

451
00:24:06,749 --> 00:24:08,869
Speaker 1: hold the baby. You do the fun bit, You hold

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00:24:08,869 --> 00:24:11,349
Speaker 1: the baby and have a little play while they clean

453
00:24:11,389 --> 00:24:13,469
Speaker 1: all of the things. You can even yell instructions. You

454
00:24:13,469 --> 00:24:15,749
Speaker 1: can't move you or broken length. What I will say

455
00:24:16,189 --> 00:24:19,789
Speaker 1: about our dilemma is I agree, get creative, bin wise.

456
00:24:20,629 --> 00:24:23,029
Speaker 1: Something that we've done in our home is a lot

457
00:24:23,029 --> 00:24:25,509
Speaker 1: of baby stuff comes in boxes. Yep, so you'll buy

458
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:29,149
Speaker 1: someone comes in a box. Box becomes bin. Oh yeah yeah.

459
00:24:29,269 --> 00:24:31,549
Speaker 1: Box can be in all sorts of places. Yeah, but

460
00:24:31,669 --> 00:24:34,469
Speaker 1: box can become bin. But box can also become storage.

461
00:24:34,469 --> 00:24:36,789
Speaker 1: And then what's great is when storage and bin is confused.

462
00:24:36,869 --> 00:24:38,709
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, because then it never gets right

463
00:24:38,709 --> 00:24:42,669
Speaker 1: out exactly. The other thing is you need a home

464
00:24:43,309 --> 00:24:48,989
Speaker 1: where you don't own anything precious enough that it would

465
00:24:49,109 --> 00:24:52,469
Speaker 1: matter that it matters, or it's an imposition to simply

466
00:24:52,509 --> 00:24:55,469
Speaker 1: get a hose and rinse it all off. So true.

467
00:24:55,709 --> 00:24:58,509
Speaker 1: So it's like just get plastic everything. Just get plastic

468
00:24:58,549 --> 00:25:01,509
Speaker 1: everything and have a hose and just it's like high

469
00:25:01,629 --> 00:25:06,109
Speaker 1: chair hose it down, baby, hose it down, lounge hose

470
00:25:06,149 --> 00:25:09,709
Speaker 1: it down, everything, dining chairs, hose it down all the toys.

471
00:25:10,269 --> 00:25:15,709
Speaker 1: Just everything gets down. Yeah, and so everything is always damp. Sure, yeah,

472
00:25:15,829 --> 00:25:20,509
Speaker 1: everything gets moldy. Sure, but you can just hose it

473
00:25:20,589 --> 00:25:24,789
Speaker 1: all down. Yeah. Yeah, because even toys, if your hose

474
00:25:24,869 --> 00:25:27,349
Speaker 1: hard enough, the toys should all go in one direction,

475
00:25:27,589 --> 00:25:29,669
Speaker 1: which is probably the corner in a part. So it's

476
00:25:29,749 --> 00:25:32,109
Speaker 1: like if your hose off leaves or whatever, like, get

477
00:25:32,109 --> 00:25:36,149
Speaker 1: a high pressure hose. Absolutely. And I will just add,

478
00:25:36,269 --> 00:25:38,989
Speaker 1: and this is really important. I have a chat to

479
00:25:38,989 --> 00:25:42,349
Speaker 1: the baby about cleaning up after itself. That's something that

480
00:25:42,429 --> 00:25:45,389
Speaker 1: we don't do enough. No, And I look at Matila.

481
00:25:45,469 --> 00:25:47,509
Speaker 1: I've given her her moush Nun's gone in her mouth,

482
00:25:47,509 --> 00:25:49,949
Speaker 1: it's all over her face, it's behind her ears, it's

483
00:25:50,029 --> 00:25:53,069
Speaker 1: under her chin, on her clothes. He's wipe. There you go.

484
00:25:53,309 --> 00:25:55,069
Speaker 1: And she puts the wipe in her mouth and I say,

485
00:25:55,109 --> 00:25:56,669
Speaker 1: that's not the bit that needs to be clean, No,

486
00:25:56,949 --> 00:25:59,789
Speaker 1: it's everything else. Yep. I will also say that it's

487
00:25:59,829 --> 00:26:03,029
Speaker 1: a trap to think that anything has a place. That's

488
00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:05,509
Speaker 1: a trap. Don't fall down, don't fall into that. Don't

489
00:26:05,509 --> 00:26:07,669
Speaker 1: have a toy box, don't have Oh this is where

490
00:26:07,669 --> 00:26:12,069
Speaker 1: the bottles go. The bottles go, where the bottles Land. Correct,

491
00:26:12,429 --> 00:26:16,869
Speaker 1: everything goes everywhere, well said. We hope you enjoyed this

492
00:26:16,949 --> 00:26:20,549
Speaker 1: episode and in fact, this season of the Baby Bubble,

493
00:26:20,629 --> 00:26:22,829
Speaker 1: and you didn't find anything remotely helpful. If you did

494
00:26:22,829 --> 00:26:25,829
Speaker 1: find anything remotely helpful, then you have permission to leave

495
00:26:25,869 --> 00:26:27,469
Speaker 1: us a bad review and tell us what it was

496
00:26:27,789 --> 00:26:31,309
Speaker 1: because it was an accident. That's our brand promise. Yeah,

497
00:26:31,389 --> 00:26:35,029
Speaker 1: we absolutely did not offer anything of benefit. If you've

498
00:26:35,069 --> 00:26:41,309
Speaker 1: survived the Baby Bubble, honestly, congrats, congrats to you. Last

499
00:26:41,349 --> 00:26:44,109
Speaker 1: week we did an episode on I Tried to leave

500
00:26:44,109 --> 00:26:46,669
Speaker 1: the House Now Everyone's crime. It offered no helpful tips

501
00:26:46,669 --> 00:26:48,549
Speaker 1: of what to do, but just how we did it

502
00:26:48,829 --> 00:26:52,349
Speaker 1: wrong and how we were judged by mostly health professionals

503
00:26:52,429 --> 00:26:55,669
Speaker 1: m and just everybody on the street. If you enjoyed

504
00:26:55,669 --> 00:26:58,869
Speaker 1: this podcast, there are seven whole other episodes to catch

505
00:26:58,949 --> 00:27:01,189
Speaker 1: up on. And if you want to send it to

506
00:27:01,189 --> 00:27:03,349
Speaker 1: anyone who is either about to enter the Baby Bubble,

507
00:27:03,389 --> 00:27:05,789
Speaker 1: maybe they've just ended it and you feel like they

508
00:27:05,909 --> 00:27:07,909
Speaker 1: need a little bit of a laugh, then send it

509
00:27:07,949 --> 00:27:10,709
Speaker 1: through to them. By the way, we're still the Baby Bubble.

510
00:27:10,949 --> 00:27:13,069
Speaker 1: You are too. You can follow us at the Twins

511
00:27:13,109 --> 00:27:16,189
Speaker 1: Underscore Thoughts and we're on canceled, So come and listen

512
00:27:16,189 --> 00:27:19,029
Speaker 1: to us on Canceled, where we talk about silly celebrities

513
00:27:19,189 --> 00:27:21,829
Speaker 1: while we take a break from our babies. We will

514
00:27:21,829 --> 00:27:24,869
Speaker 1: be back in your ears very soon for a season

515
00:27:24,909 --> 00:27:38,109
Speaker 1: two of the Baby Bubble, but for now, Bye Bye