1 00:00:10,622 --> 00:00:13,382 Speaker 1: You're listening to Amma Mia podcast. 2 00:00:13,822 --> 00:00:17,182 Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 3 00:00:17,222 --> 00:00:18,782 Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on. 4 00:00:21,142 --> 00:00:25,782 Speaker 3: Is her background, and is her value system Catholic? 5 00:00:26,342 --> 00:00:26,381 Speaker 1: Like? 6 00:00:26,542 --> 00:00:27,582 Speaker 4: Is that it because a lot. 7 00:00:27,502 --> 00:00:29,462 Speaker 1: Of everyone's value spitalism. 8 00:00:29,902 --> 00:00:32,422 Speaker 3: Well, some of us are atleast trying to resist, but 9 00:00:32,502 --> 00:00:35,822 Speaker 3: I wonder if not so great. 10 00:00:40,342 --> 00:00:43,302 Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to Mamma Mia out Loud and to Friday, 11 00:00:43,382 --> 00:00:45,942 Speaker 2: where we talk about anything other than the news cycle. 12 00:00:46,302 --> 00:00:49,822 Speaker 2: Today it's the fourteenth of March, and my name is Hollywayne, right, I'm. 13 00:00:49,702 --> 00:00:51,702 Speaker 4: Mea Friedman, and I'm Jesse Stevens. 14 00:00:51,782 --> 00:00:54,542 Speaker 2: And on the show today, take my money and tell 15 00:00:54,542 --> 00:00:57,582 Speaker 2: me what to do, the irresistible pool of self help 16 00:00:57,662 --> 00:01:00,262 Speaker 2: gurus and why there's only one right now who has 17 00:01:00,382 --> 00:01:05,142 Speaker 2: absolutely met her moment, Mel Robins. Also in recommendations today, 18 00:01:05,142 --> 00:01:06,742 Speaker 2: we've got books for you to read and a hat 19 00:01:06,782 --> 00:01:09,542 Speaker 2: to wear while reading them. And our best and worst 20 00:01:09,622 --> 00:01:13,622 Speaker 2: the week include terrible parenting, choices, flat social batteries, and 21 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:17,462 Speaker 2: musical theater. But first me, in case you missed it, 22 00:01:17,582 --> 00:01:21,182 Speaker 2: married people are more likely to masturbate than people living alone. 23 00:01:22,222 --> 00:01:23,902 Speaker 4: This is surprising to me. 24 00:01:24,222 --> 00:01:25,662 Speaker 2: I don't think it is surprised. 25 00:01:25,702 --> 00:01:26,942 Speaker 4: Why is it not surprising? 26 00:01:27,102 --> 00:01:28,222 Speaker 2: How long have you been married? 27 00:01:31,542 --> 00:01:36,062 Speaker 1: I'm leaving it at that. We came across a list 28 00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:38,662 Speaker 1: of fun sex facts that I wanted to share with 29 00:01:38,742 --> 00:01:42,542 Speaker 1: the group. This is my favorite. According to the Kinsey Institute, 30 00:01:42,622 --> 00:01:47,502 Speaker 1: the average speed of sperm during ejaculation is forty five 31 00:01:47,622 --> 00:01:48,742 Speaker 1: kilometers per hour. 32 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,862 Speaker 2: Sounds dangerous. Wow, sounds like it could take an eye out. 33 00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:54,102 Speaker 1: Shouldn't be in a school zone, I mean obviously, because 34 00:01:54,142 --> 00:01:57,422 Speaker 1: you'll get you get it fine, Yeah, yeah. 35 00:01:57,222 --> 00:01:59,302 Speaker 4: It's fine if it's after well, no, you shouldn't. You 36 00:01:59,302 --> 00:02:00,702 Speaker 4: shouldn't be in a school zone. 37 00:02:01,062 --> 00:02:03,862 Speaker 1: Now what if you just what if you're inside your 38 00:02:03,902 --> 00:02:08,302 Speaker 1: house but your house is within a school. A teaspoon 39 00:02:08,382 --> 00:02:12,542 Speaker 1: moving on. A teaspoon of semen contains five calories, and 40 00:02:12,582 --> 00:02:17,862 Speaker 1: a sperm takes one hour to swim seventeen centimeters, which 41 00:02:18,102 --> 00:02:20,542 Speaker 1: I guess seventeen centimeter is probably all you need from 42 00:02:20,582 --> 00:02:24,182 Speaker 1: your bag into the parts. Going any further, getting to alarm, 43 00:02:24,222 --> 00:02:26,702 Speaker 1: But it just seems quite slow, like an hour. Oh no, 44 00:02:26,742 --> 00:02:29,462 Speaker 1: you wouldn't want one in your lung. No, you've got 45 00:02:29,502 --> 00:02:32,902 Speaker 1: to stop, like, don't keep going. But I think it 46 00:02:32,982 --> 00:02:36,181 Speaker 1: feels a bit slow. An hour it does, it does 47 00:02:37,022 --> 00:02:40,542 Speaker 1: hurry along. Scientists are unsure why humans have pubic hair, 48 00:02:41,062 --> 00:02:44,182 Speaker 1: but they theorize that the hair traps secretions that hold 49 00:02:44,222 --> 00:02:49,262 Speaker 1: pheromones or sexual sense, so it's for the smell, special smell, 50 00:02:49,342 --> 00:02:51,982 Speaker 1: a special smell. Men who help with housework tend to 51 00:02:52,022 --> 00:02:56,982 Speaker 1: have more sex that really, statistics show, and women who 52 00:02:57,022 --> 00:03:00,942 Speaker 1: have difficulty reaching an orgasm might just have cold feet, 53 00:03:01,422 --> 00:03:04,902 Speaker 1: actual cold feet, because a study has found that giving 54 00:03:04,902 --> 00:03:07,982 Speaker 1: women warm socks increase their chance of reaching. 55 00:03:07,982 --> 00:03:12,662 Speaker 3: And all should always have bed socks on very sexy, 56 00:03:12,662 --> 00:03:13,142 Speaker 3: maybe with. 57 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,022 Speaker 2: Yeah jewelry, like. 58 00:03:18,542 --> 00:03:20,702 Speaker 4: Because that will really turn your partner on. 59 00:03:20,822 --> 00:03:22,982 Speaker 1: I've noticed a lot of socks now I wanted to 60 00:03:22,982 --> 00:03:26,142 Speaker 1: buy some more socks. Not so much for this reason, 61 00:03:26,222 --> 00:03:29,501 Speaker 1: but can't hurt a lot of socks. They're called studio socks, 62 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,781 Speaker 1: and I assume they're for like doing pilates and stuff, 63 00:03:32,862 --> 00:03:34,862 Speaker 1: or maybe doing sexual positions. 64 00:03:34,542 --> 00:03:36,822 Speaker 2: Where we'd have to They've got little grips on the. 65 00:03:36,782 --> 00:03:39,422 Speaker 1: Bottom, so I don't know. Maybe if you're like in 66 00:03:39,462 --> 00:03:43,222 Speaker 1: an interesting position, having grips on the bottom of your 67 00:03:43,302 --> 00:03:44,862 Speaker 1: warm socks would help. 68 00:03:44,902 --> 00:03:46,062 Speaker 4: You could stick to a wall. 69 00:03:46,302 --> 00:03:54,542 Speaker 1: Yeah, like Spider Man to the ceiling in the. 70 00:03:54,542 --> 00:04:03,302 Speaker 2: Air Okay, all right, Friday Friday stuff spider Man. 71 00:04:03,662 --> 00:04:06,782 Speaker 5: Spider Man, Spider can. 72 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:17,622 Speaker 1: Size just like guys. 73 00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:19,301 Speaker 5: Been in a situation where maybe your buddies organize a 74 00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,782 Speaker 5: golf trip and they don't include you, or the women 75 00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:23,981 Speaker 5: in your life go away for a weekend and you're 76 00:04:23,981 --> 00:04:27,662 Speaker 5: not invited, Or a friend, a friend that you adore, 77 00:04:27,821 --> 00:04:31,621 Speaker 5: is dating a real asshole, somebody who's horrible for them. 78 00:04:32,101 --> 00:04:35,261 Speaker 5: I mean, how much does you worrying about it? How 79 00:04:35,662 --> 00:04:37,782 Speaker 5: is that going to change anything? It's not How does 80 00:04:37,821 --> 00:04:41,862 Speaker 5: spending two hundred hours talking to your friend about this 81 00:04:41,902 --> 00:04:44,541 Speaker 5: horrible person over and over and over? How does that 82 00:04:44,582 --> 00:04:46,541 Speaker 5: How it doesn't let them. 83 00:04:46,941 --> 00:04:50,301 Speaker 2: The twenty tens had Brene Brown telling us all to 84 00:04:50,342 --> 00:04:53,822 Speaker 2: be brave. The Naughties had Tony Robbins walking on hot coals. 85 00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:55,142 Speaker 1: I didn't like that. 86 00:04:55,142 --> 00:04:57,981 Speaker 2: That was way too much. Also, I know people who 87 00:04:57,981 --> 00:05:00,022 Speaker 2: did it, though, I know people who did this. Ver 88 00:05:00,262 --> 00:05:02,222 Speaker 2: cool voice loud. 89 00:05:02,342 --> 00:05:02,582 Speaker 5: Yeah. 90 00:05:02,741 --> 00:05:05,582 Speaker 2: The nineties had John Gray with his men are from Mars, 91 00:05:05,582 --> 00:05:06,421 Speaker 2: women from Venale. 92 00:05:06,421 --> 00:05:06,941 Speaker 1: I like that. 93 00:05:07,142 --> 00:05:07,821 Speaker 2: I know you did. 94 00:05:07,981 --> 00:05:08,861 Speaker 1: I thought that was great. 95 00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:11,022 Speaker 2: This is one divisions in our relationship. 96 00:05:11,101 --> 00:05:13,702 Speaker 4: May is such a basic news from Mars. 97 00:05:13,741 --> 00:05:15,502 Speaker 2: I still talk about that a lot that book, and 98 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:19,981 Speaker 2: of course all the decades mostly Oprah. Every era has 99 00:05:20,022 --> 00:05:22,782 Speaker 2: its Zeitgey self help guru, and twenty twenty five has 100 00:05:22,902 --> 00:05:27,581 Speaker 2: unequivocally crowned mel Robins. Yes of let them fame, more 101 00:05:27,662 --> 00:05:30,821 Speaker 2: about let them in a moment. Robin's podcast is currently 102 00:05:30,821 --> 00:05:32,541 Speaker 2: the number one in Australia, which we're not at all 103 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:37,142 Speaker 2: bitter about because we're number three. Robins is huge. She's 104 00:05:37,181 --> 00:05:39,222 Speaker 2: been doing this for a while, so she has been 105 00:05:39,342 --> 00:05:41,662 Speaker 2: a life coach and a motivational speaker for over a 106 00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:45,942 Speaker 2: decade and until this massive breakthrough moment, she'd built an 107 00:05:45,941 --> 00:05:49,501 Speaker 2: empire from kind of really down home, like kind of 108 00:05:49,541 --> 00:05:52,062 Speaker 2: like your grandma would have told you this advice. So 109 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:52,861 Speaker 2: it's quite. 110 00:05:52,662 --> 00:05:56,422 Speaker 1: Bossy, Like I've been chusing her for probably more than 111 00:05:56,501 --> 00:06:00,461 Speaker 1: five years. And she had a ted talk that went viral. 112 00:06:00,541 --> 00:06:02,342 Speaker 4: About the five second role procrastination. 113 00:06:02,741 --> 00:06:06,182 Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's got a really great backstory which we'll 114 00:06:06,181 --> 00:06:08,662 Speaker 1: get to in a second, a good origin story, and 115 00:06:09,262 --> 00:06:11,181 Speaker 1: she's very sort of no nonsense. 116 00:06:11,222 --> 00:06:13,461 Speaker 2: So she's like, jump out of bed in the morning 117 00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:16,462 Speaker 2: and get outside, don't procrastinate, that's the five second rule. 118 00:06:16,741 --> 00:06:19,342 Speaker 2: Think positively all the time. She's like, whether you think 119 00:06:19,381 --> 00:06:21,021 Speaker 2: you can, or you think you can't. You're right like 120 00:06:21,101 --> 00:06:24,541 Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. A short walk solves most problems, 121 00:06:24,821 --> 00:06:27,101 Speaker 2: make everyone else's day a little bit better. So very 122 00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:31,782 Speaker 2: like solid white beddy kind of She's. 123 00:06:31,662 --> 00:06:32,421 Speaker 1: Not wu Wu. 124 00:06:32,582 --> 00:06:35,501 Speaker 2: She's not wu Wu. She's sold millions of books, She's 125 00:06:35,541 --> 00:06:39,181 Speaker 2: had billions of podcast streams. A little tiny bit about 126 00:06:39,222 --> 00:06:42,381 Speaker 2: her origin story before we get into the let them phenomena, 127 00:06:42,462 --> 00:06:47,462 Speaker 2: because every guru needs one Robins's self reinvention. At forty one, 128 00:06:47,702 --> 00:06:50,621 Speaker 2: she was unemployed. She'd gone broke from a failed business 129 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:53,141 Speaker 2: venture that left her and her husband with eight hundred 130 00:06:53,142 --> 00:06:56,461 Speaker 2: thousand dollars in debt. She says that she was miserable 131 00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:59,222 Speaker 2: and unhappy. She said, my past was full of shitty behavior. 132 00:06:59,621 --> 00:07:02,222 Speaker 2: I used to be a real competitive, insecure asshole, and 133 00:07:02,301 --> 00:07:05,582 Speaker 2: I hurt people and blah blah blah. Right, Jesse, I 134 00:07:05,582 --> 00:07:07,181 Speaker 2: don't know how to tell you this next bit because 135 00:07:07,222 --> 00:07:09,982 Speaker 2: you're not gonna like it. Before she was a life 136 00:07:10,022 --> 00:07:12,342 Speaker 2: coach and a motivational speaker. She was a criminal lawyer, 137 00:07:12,342 --> 00:07:14,182 Speaker 2: and she was on happy and dissatisfied. So she's got 138 00:07:14,222 --> 00:07:16,062 Speaker 2: a law degree. She was working as a criminal lawyer. 139 00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:19,101 Speaker 2: She went to a life coach to say, what should 140 00:07:19,102 --> 00:07:21,862 Speaker 2: I do with my life? I'm unhappy and dissatisfied. The 141 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:25,022 Speaker 2: life coach told her she should be a life coach, 142 00:07:25,742 --> 00:07:30,022 Speaker 2: and so she launched, and so it begins, and her 143 00:07:30,102 --> 00:07:33,742 Speaker 2: two self help companies and quickly and this reputation as 144 00:07:33,782 --> 00:07:38,302 Speaker 2: a tough love personal improvement coach mia. Why is this 145 00:07:38,782 --> 00:07:40,142 Speaker 2: Mel Robbins's moment? 146 00:07:40,902 --> 00:07:43,742 Speaker 1: I think the news cycle has never been more intense 147 00:07:43,821 --> 00:07:47,502 Speaker 1: than it's been sort of this past eighteen months, between 148 00:07:47,622 --> 00:07:54,302 Speaker 1: war and Trump and algorithms, and everyone's just feeling very besieged. 149 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:58,782 Speaker 1: And what the let them theory is, and let them 150 00:07:58,982 --> 00:08:03,502 Speaker 1: is about recognizing things you can't control. Essentially, it's about 151 00:08:03,622 --> 00:08:07,102 Speaker 1: if if someone's not dating you and then not interested, 152 00:08:07,582 --> 00:08:10,302 Speaker 1: let them not be interested. If you're partner wants to 153 00:08:10,381 --> 00:08:13,702 Speaker 1: end the relationship, let them. If your kid hasn't taken 154 00:08:13,742 --> 00:08:17,262 Speaker 1: his lunch to school again, let them be hungry. And 155 00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:22,182 Speaker 1: it's that idea of personal empowerment, but in a very 156 00:08:22,222 --> 00:08:22,982 Speaker 1: passive way. 157 00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:24,141 Speaker 2: So what she's. 158 00:08:23,982 --> 00:08:28,182 Speaker 1: Actually doing, I think everyone's so tired. Remember Cheryl Samberg, 159 00:08:28,182 --> 00:08:30,342 Speaker 1: who is another bit of a self help guru, that 160 00:08:30,462 --> 00:08:32,822 Speaker 1: was all about leaning. That was the girl Boss era, 161 00:08:33,022 --> 00:08:37,462 Speaker 1: and that was hustle culture. Mel Robbins and let them 162 00:08:37,822 --> 00:08:38,862 Speaker 1: is about lie down. 163 00:08:39,222 --> 00:08:40,422 Speaker 2: It's about stop. 164 00:08:40,142 --> 00:08:43,542 Speaker 1: Trying to change people, stop trying to change things, stop 165 00:08:43,622 --> 00:08:47,542 Speaker 1: trying to control every outcome. Just accept what you can't 166 00:08:47,622 --> 00:08:50,902 Speaker 1: change about others, like the Serenity prayer, and work on 167 00:08:50,982 --> 00:08:53,862 Speaker 1: what you can change and what you can do. And 168 00:08:53,902 --> 00:08:56,662 Speaker 1: I think that there's something really appealing about that. It's 169 00:08:56,702 --> 00:09:00,782 Speaker 1: also short, it's simple. Her advice is not, as I said, 170 00:09:00,822 --> 00:09:02,942 Speaker 1: it's not wu wu. It's not like soul food. It 171 00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:06,342 Speaker 1: doesn't require a lot of self reflection. It's very practical. 172 00:09:06,582 --> 00:09:09,182 Speaker 2: In fact, she doesn't really like self reflection much. Jesse, 173 00:09:09,542 --> 00:09:12,342 Speaker 2: why do you think we're so addicted to being told 174 00:09:12,342 --> 00:09:12,822 Speaker 2: what to do? 175 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:17,342 Speaker 3: I reckon we all feel woefully unqualified to make any 176 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,582 Speaker 3: decisions about our own lives. And I actually don't think 177 00:09:19,622 --> 00:09:23,782 Speaker 3: that's entirely new. I was thinking about how my grandmother 178 00:09:24,262 --> 00:09:28,102 Speaker 3: would have gone to her priest, and over the weekend 179 00:09:28,222 --> 00:09:32,302 Speaker 3: we were at synagogue. Maya was speaking and a rabbi 180 00:09:32,382 --> 00:09:34,542 Speaker 3: was on the panel, and I thought I would love 181 00:09:34,622 --> 00:09:37,381 Speaker 3: an hour with a rabbi to just really corner her 182 00:09:37,382 --> 00:09:40,662 Speaker 3: and got very wise, can you solve them? And this 183 00:09:40,822 --> 00:09:42,382 Speaker 3: is still I mean, all over the world there are 184 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:45,182 Speaker 3: lots of religious people who turned to a monk or 185 00:09:45,182 --> 00:09:48,822 Speaker 3: an or a a rabbi or a priest to help them, 186 00:09:48,942 --> 00:09:54,142 Speaker 3: and I think that Mel Robbins has actually used a 187 00:09:54,262 --> 00:10:00,662 Speaker 3: few techniques and language that mirrors this. For example, she 188 00:10:00,782 --> 00:10:03,142 Speaker 3: often says I just happened to be the messenger. I 189 00:10:03,222 --> 00:10:05,022 Speaker 3: just happened to be the messenger of this, which. 190 00:10:04,862 --> 00:10:06,582 Speaker 4: Is very, very Jesus. 191 00:10:07,142 --> 00:10:09,862 Speaker 3: And she has this email that she sends out and 192 00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:12,542 Speaker 3: she says, in case nobody else tells you today, let 193 00:10:12,582 --> 00:10:14,142 Speaker 3: me be the first to say that I love you, 194 00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:16,102 Speaker 3: and I believe in you and your ability to create 195 00:10:16,102 --> 00:10:20,062 Speaker 3: a better life. Unconditional love is nice, yes, but I 196 00:10:20,102 --> 00:10:23,382 Speaker 3: think that the demise of religion has left a wide 197 00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:24,102 Speaker 3: open hole. 198 00:10:24,262 --> 00:10:26,222 Speaker 1: And we've filled it with celebrities for a little while, 199 00:10:26,262 --> 00:10:26,582 Speaker 1: didn't they. 200 00:10:26,902 --> 00:10:27,702 Speaker 2: Yeah, But I. 201 00:10:27,622 --> 00:10:30,102 Speaker 3: Think that there's still this sense of I don't know 202 00:10:30,142 --> 00:10:32,822 Speaker 3: what to do. I was reading a few interviews with 203 00:10:32,862 --> 00:10:35,261 Speaker 3: people who said, you know, this sounds weird, but I 204 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,702 Speaker 3: feel like she has my back. And when I've spoken 205 00:10:37,742 --> 00:10:40,862 Speaker 3: to people who are very religious, the thing I'm most 206 00:10:40,982 --> 00:10:43,502 Speaker 3: envious of is they say, I feel like someone's watching 207 00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:46,902 Speaker 3: out for me, like someone has some greater plan, Like 208 00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,542 Speaker 3: Mel Robbins will often say the universe has a plan 209 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:53,662 Speaker 3: blah blah blah, and so I think there's an element 210 00:10:53,702 --> 00:10:55,662 Speaker 3: of that. But I guess the question I would ask 211 00:10:55,902 --> 00:10:59,422 Speaker 3: is that when you have religious people say the priest 212 00:10:59,862 --> 00:11:01,702 Speaker 3: answer you, or you go to them with a crisis, 213 00:11:02,382 --> 00:11:07,662 Speaker 3: they have a methodology. They have centuries of texts and 214 00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:12,702 Speaker 3: conversations and ethics and values that inform their answer. If 215 00:11:12,702 --> 00:11:15,702 Speaker 3: you go to a psychologist, they have a methodology which 216 00:11:15,822 --> 00:11:20,222 Speaker 3: is research based evidence. My worry about certain gurus is 217 00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:23,662 Speaker 3: when you go, what's your methodology other than what sounds 218 00:11:23,742 --> 00:11:25,222 Speaker 3: right and what feels right. 219 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,942 Speaker 1: And what's going to go viral and what's. 220 00:11:26,822 --> 00:11:30,141 Speaker 3: Going to go viral? How do we know to trust you? 221 00:11:30,182 --> 00:11:31,822 Speaker 3: Because where's this information coming from? 222 00:11:31,902 --> 00:11:34,142 Speaker 2: What Mel Robbins is and all of those people that 223 00:11:34,182 --> 00:11:38,022 Speaker 2: are listed at the beginning were they're just very good communicators, right, 224 00:11:38,142 --> 00:11:41,742 Speaker 2: Because Mel Robbins is obviously smart. She's obviously smart, she's 225 00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:45,502 Speaker 2: obviously experienced in this field. But what she's saying, and 226 00:11:45,542 --> 00:11:47,662 Speaker 2: she says this herself, like I've been listening to it. 227 00:11:47,782 --> 00:11:49,222 Speaker 2: I was listening to her quite a lot the other 228 00:11:49,302 --> 00:11:51,982 Speaker 2: day on a long drive, and she'll say herself, this 229 00:11:52,022 --> 00:11:54,102 Speaker 2: is all stuff your grandmother would have told you, if 230 00:11:54,142 --> 00:11:55,822 Speaker 2: you'd have had the kind of grandmother who tells you 231 00:11:55,862 --> 00:11:58,261 Speaker 2: things which in itself tells you something about the way 232 00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:00,902 Speaker 2: our families are now. She said, I'm going to tell 233 00:12:00,942 --> 00:12:02,622 Speaker 2: you in simple terms, and then I'm going to give 234 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:05,182 Speaker 2: you a trick to remember it. It's not that she's 235 00:12:05,302 --> 00:12:07,622 Speaker 2: come up with all these brilliant ideas necessarily, but she's 236 00:12:07,702 --> 00:12:10,462 Speaker 2: very good at packaging them, and she's very good at communicating, 237 00:12:10,502 --> 00:12:13,782 Speaker 2: and that's the key. The thing that's interesting about it 238 00:12:13,822 --> 00:12:16,062 Speaker 2: is that mel Robins and I'm distant criticism of her, 239 00:12:16,262 --> 00:12:18,742 Speaker 2: like I find her advice very interesting and helpful lots 240 00:12:18,782 --> 00:12:21,142 Speaker 2: of ways. But she doesn't really have you back, guys. 241 00:12:21,302 --> 00:12:24,182 Speaker 2: She's just making a lot of money. She's doing not 242 00:12:24,582 --> 00:12:27,302 Speaker 2: in a nefarious way. She's selling a product that people 243 00:12:27,342 --> 00:12:30,222 Speaker 2: need and want. Because I think me is absolutely spot 244 00:12:30,262 --> 00:12:32,822 Speaker 2: on when she's like, our lives feel out of control. 245 00:12:32,982 --> 00:12:36,622 Speaker 2: Everything feels out of control. Even the most ordinary life 246 00:12:36,782 --> 00:12:38,422 Speaker 2: has a lot of problems in it. We all have 247 00:12:38,462 --> 00:12:42,302 Speaker 2: a lot of problems in five. And the thing that 248 00:12:42,382 --> 00:12:44,982 Speaker 2: self help, over the decades that it's established itself as 249 00:12:45,022 --> 00:12:47,502 Speaker 2: being very mainstream has convinced us off is that we 250 00:12:47,582 --> 00:12:49,902 Speaker 2: can solve them. If only we tried harder, if only 251 00:12:49,942 --> 00:12:52,062 Speaker 2: we got up earlier, if only we did whatever, then 252 00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:54,742 Speaker 2: we can solve them. It's up to us. She's the 253 00:12:54,742 --> 00:12:57,062 Speaker 2: same vein as all that, She's just packaged it a 254 00:12:57,102 --> 00:13:01,182 Speaker 2: bit differently. It's interesting because she even starts her podcast 255 00:13:01,222 --> 00:13:03,782 Speaker 2: by saying, Hi, it's your friend mel here, and it's like, 256 00:13:04,902 --> 00:13:06,902 Speaker 2: you know, like I find that a tiny bit. I 257 00:13:06,942 --> 00:13:09,182 Speaker 2: think maybe that's also because I'm not American that I 258 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:13,062 Speaker 2: find the tiny bit. I can see through it. You know. 259 00:13:13,142 --> 00:13:15,902 Speaker 3: It's also that therapy speaking, psychobabble and all of that. 260 00:13:15,942 --> 00:13:18,582 Speaker 3: It's ubiquitous everywhere at the moment. The rise of that 261 00:13:18,702 --> 00:13:21,382 Speaker 3: has not dovetailed with a rise in accessibility. So everyone 262 00:13:21,382 --> 00:13:24,342 Speaker 3: thinks they need a therapist, but most people can't afford one. 263 00:13:24,622 --> 00:13:26,902 Speaker 2: So mel Ron know how to go about even getting no. 264 00:13:27,022 --> 00:13:30,622 Speaker 3: So mel Robins can be your therapist for free. On 265 00:13:30,822 --> 00:13:33,302 Speaker 3: that on she's trying to sell you something. I do 266 00:13:33,622 --> 00:13:35,222 Speaker 3: wonder and I listen to a lot of her advice. 267 00:13:35,302 --> 00:13:36,782 Speaker 3: I don't think she is the same as the other 268 00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:40,022 Speaker 3: gurus because I look at Brene Brown, who had decades 269 00:13:40,542 --> 00:13:44,142 Speaker 3: of expertise and academia and studies and she was saying 270 00:13:44,182 --> 00:13:45,062 Speaker 3: something grounded in. 271 00:13:45,062 --> 00:13:47,742 Speaker 4: Science, and she is still around, and she's still still. 272 00:13:47,542 --> 00:13:49,982 Speaker 3: Around in a way that Mel Robbin's what she's saying 273 00:13:50,022 --> 00:13:52,302 Speaker 3: isn't necessarily grounded in science, or at least she doesn't 274 00:13:52,302 --> 00:13:55,622 Speaker 3: show us her working out. But she started as a 275 00:13:55,622 --> 00:13:58,582 Speaker 3: business coach, and I think that that might be a 276 00:13:58,702 --> 00:14:01,382 Speaker 3: clue to what her values. 277 00:14:02,022 --> 00:14:04,302 Speaker 1: That's that you've just made me realize. That's how I 278 00:14:04,422 --> 00:14:07,862 Speaker 1: found her. I was starting to look at around when 279 00:14:07,902 --> 00:14:10,222 Speaker 1: I was doing ladies startup and I started to look 280 00:14:10,222 --> 00:14:12,342 Speaker 1: at some of the women, other women in that space. 281 00:14:13,022 --> 00:14:15,422 Speaker 1: This is probably more than five years ago now, and 282 00:14:15,582 --> 00:14:18,742 Speaker 1: that's when I found her. It was about business, and 283 00:14:18,782 --> 00:14:22,382 Speaker 1: it was about content creation and reaching an audience and 284 00:14:22,422 --> 00:14:23,422 Speaker 1: doing all of those things. 285 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:25,342 Speaker 2: A clue to. 286 00:14:26,022 --> 00:14:29,742 Speaker 3: What data or methodology she's bringing to her advice is 287 00:14:29,782 --> 00:14:34,462 Speaker 3: her background? And is her value system capitalism? 288 00:14:34,822 --> 00:14:34,942 Speaker 2: Like? 289 00:14:35,062 --> 00:14:36,062 Speaker 4: Is that it because a lot. 290 00:14:35,982 --> 00:14:37,982 Speaker 1: Of see everyone's value system isism. 291 00:14:38,382 --> 00:14:40,622 Speaker 4: Well, some of us are at least trying to resist. 292 00:14:40,822 --> 00:14:45,382 Speaker 3: But I wonder if not so great because a lot 293 00:14:45,382 --> 00:14:51,022 Speaker 3: of her advice is very, very individualistic. It's very if 294 00:14:51,062 --> 00:14:54,062 Speaker 3: you help yourself, you'll help others ah, and that it's 295 00:14:54,142 --> 00:14:56,502 Speaker 3: not systemic it's not institutional. 296 00:14:56,622 --> 00:14:57,782 Speaker 2: It's about accountability. 297 00:14:57,942 --> 00:14:59,662 Speaker 4: It's about accountability. 298 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:01,262 Speaker 1: And taking responsibility for yourself. 299 00:15:01,342 --> 00:15:04,062 Speaker 3: One thing I think we've we've probably got to acknowledge 300 00:15:04,222 --> 00:15:05,542 Speaker 3: is that a lot of the people who have reported 301 00:15:05,622 --> 00:15:07,102 Speaker 3: on her and done features and gone and listened to 302 00:15:07,142 --> 00:15:09,862 Speaker 3: her speak is Wow, that's a lot of white women. 303 00:15:10,022 --> 00:15:11,782 Speaker 3: I'm not saying that white women don't have problems or 304 00:15:11,782 --> 00:15:14,422 Speaker 3: that they're not a legitimate market, but the fact that 305 00:15:14,462 --> 00:15:17,782 Speaker 3: there is a sort of homogeneous market for her, I 306 00:15:17,782 --> 00:15:19,862 Speaker 3: think says something about what the problems of the white 307 00:15:19,902 --> 00:15:23,542 Speaker 3: woman is. And maybe it's that if you can feed 308 00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:26,622 Speaker 3: your family and if you feel safe, and if you're 309 00:15:26,662 --> 00:15:30,942 Speaker 3: a middle class woman in America, then you worry about X, 310 00:15:31,102 --> 00:15:31,382 Speaker 3: Y and Z. 311 00:15:31,782 --> 00:15:34,142 Speaker 2: I don't know about that. What do you think You're 312 00:15:34,182 --> 00:15:37,502 Speaker 2: not wrong about who her audience is. But I think, 313 00:15:38,622 --> 00:15:41,582 Speaker 2: as I was saying before, every life is very complex. 314 00:15:41,742 --> 00:15:44,142 Speaker 2: You only have to scratch the tiny surface of seed 315 00:15:44,142 --> 00:15:46,062 Speaker 2: that what people are actually going through in terms of 316 00:15:46,142 --> 00:15:50,342 Speaker 2: illness and divorce and money struggles and estrangement from family 317 00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:54,742 Speaker 2: members and addiction issues like that applies to all of those. 318 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:56,902 Speaker 3: Do you think she appeals Is it as simple as 319 00:15:56,902 --> 00:15:59,302 Speaker 3: she's a white woman, so she looks like I think. 320 00:15:59,182 --> 00:16:02,502 Speaker 2: She's very palatable and packageable. She's like, you know, blonde 321 00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:06,102 Speaker 2: and attractive. But I just think she's a really good communicator. 322 00:16:06,142 --> 00:16:08,022 Speaker 2: I think that she's ading to and I think the 323 00:16:08,102 --> 00:16:10,782 Speaker 2: meeting her moment thing I think me nails it about 324 00:16:10,982 --> 00:16:13,702 Speaker 2: let them and the uncontrollable moment. But also it's interesting 325 00:16:13,702 --> 00:16:16,102 Speaker 2: is she's a political right I've listened to a lot 326 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,142 Speaker 2: of interviews with her. She can have a bit of 327 00:16:18,182 --> 00:16:20,302 Speaker 2: a snipe about Trump, but she's smart enough to know 328 00:16:20,702 --> 00:16:23,462 Speaker 2: that that's a lot of her market. So she's kind 329 00:16:23,462 --> 00:16:27,382 Speaker 2: of she's talking to sort of every woman in a way, 330 00:16:27,902 --> 00:16:30,022 Speaker 2: like every woman, I'm sure, as you say, this is 331 00:16:30,062 --> 00:16:33,262 Speaker 2: definitely a demographic there, but she's not alienating anyone. She's 332 00:16:33,302 --> 00:16:36,062 Speaker 2: not making everything political. It's kind of like a mix 333 00:16:36,142 --> 00:16:38,702 Speaker 2: of This is quite soothing to listen to, and also 334 00:16:39,062 --> 00:16:40,822 Speaker 2: you've end up listening to her and you're like, yes, 335 00:16:41,102 --> 00:16:43,142 Speaker 2: I am going to get up at six o'clock. Yes 336 00:16:43,182 --> 00:16:45,542 Speaker 2: I am going to talk to myself in the mirror 337 00:16:45,622 --> 00:16:47,942 Speaker 2: like somebody who likes themselves and all those things. 338 00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:51,902 Speaker 1: So two of her other philosophies in addition to let 339 00:16:51,982 --> 00:16:55,822 Speaker 1: them one is the high five trick, and it's every 340 00:16:55,902 --> 00:16:58,702 Speaker 1: morning you get up, you brush your teeth, and you 341 00:16:58,702 --> 00:17:00,942 Speaker 1: look in the mirror and you give yourself a high five. 342 00:17:01,662 --> 00:17:04,341 Speaker 1: Our production team are just high fiving each other now 343 00:17:04,581 --> 00:17:08,061 Speaker 1: as we speak. But her point is that we are programmed. 344 00:17:08,422 --> 00:17:11,861 Speaker 1: When you give a high five gesture, you are positive, 345 00:17:12,222 --> 00:17:15,942 Speaker 1: you are active, you are all of those things, and 346 00:17:16,141 --> 00:17:19,022 Speaker 1: by doing that, you can't not be, so it almost 347 00:17:19,101 --> 00:17:21,141 Speaker 1: tricks you, no matter how bad you're feeling. The other 348 00:17:21,182 --> 00:17:26,261 Speaker 1: one is the five second rule for stopping procrastination, and 349 00:17:26,302 --> 00:17:28,982 Speaker 1: that is to literally say to yourself, I'm going to 350 00:17:29,061 --> 00:17:31,061 Speaker 1: count down from five to zero, and when I get 351 00:17:31,061 --> 00:17:32,462 Speaker 1: to zero, I'm going to do it. Whether it's getting 352 00:17:32,542 --> 00:17:36,222 Speaker 1: up out of bed, answering an email, calling someone, you always. 353 00:17:35,901 --> 00:17:39,141 Speaker 3: Speak, but going back to the gap that's been left. 354 00:17:39,182 --> 00:17:40,941 Speaker 3: And to be clear, when I talk about my my 355 00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,542 Speaker 3: nan going to the priest, yeah, he was always a man, 356 00:17:43,702 --> 00:17:46,622 Speaker 3: and there are so many limitations issues. 357 00:17:46,222 --> 00:17:50,222 Speaker 2: With you go with their own agenda to their own agenda. 358 00:17:49,661 --> 00:17:51,821 Speaker 1: And didn't he pretty much The answer was always say 359 00:17:51,861 --> 00:17:54,382 Speaker 1: Hail Mary's and you know, go back and look after 360 00:17:54,422 --> 00:17:57,422 Speaker 1: your children, Tino of your life. 361 00:17:57,101 --> 00:17:59,582 Speaker 3: Well, not necessarily of someone's life, but I'm thinking even 362 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,742 Speaker 3: about the rabbi is they have these scriptures in these books, 363 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,741 Speaker 3: and underpinning a lot of it was this sense of 364 00:18:06,061 --> 00:18:08,622 Speaker 3: community and social cohesion, a lot. 365 00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:10,862 Speaker 1: Of what or it's your fault or it's. 366 00:18:10,661 --> 00:18:12,621 Speaker 3: Your fault, and let's not forget the homophobia and the 367 00:18:12,621 --> 00:18:14,861 Speaker 3: sexism and all that and putting that to the side 368 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:18,181 Speaker 3: for a minute. Mel Robbins, I mean, high fiving the 369 00:18:18,302 --> 00:18:20,102 Speaker 3: mirror isn't going to change the world. 370 00:18:20,101 --> 00:18:22,621 Speaker 1: But it's not trying to. That's what self help is. 371 00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,262 Speaker 1: Self help isn't about helping other people. And I think 372 00:18:25,302 --> 00:18:28,422 Speaker 1: that's another reason why she's met the moment. I think 373 00:18:28,462 --> 00:18:32,341 Speaker 1: that two things. For the last few years, we've seen 374 00:18:32,422 --> 00:18:36,901 Speaker 1: a real rise in victim culture where whoever's got the 375 00:18:36,942 --> 00:18:40,902 Speaker 1: biggest hardship wins, and there's a real sense of your 376 00:18:41,341 --> 00:18:46,141 Speaker 1: wounds are your evidence or is the greatest most important 377 00:18:46,141 --> 00:18:50,381 Speaker 1: part of you? Your wounds bring status, your disadvantages bring status. 378 00:18:51,061 --> 00:18:53,782 Speaker 1: She's very much the opposite of that. She's very much 379 00:18:53,942 --> 00:18:58,302 Speaker 1: like there's nothing to be said for walloweing there's strength 380 00:18:58,462 --> 00:19:03,502 Speaker 1: in making change, and you can't change systemic inequality, you 381 00:19:03,581 --> 00:19:06,581 Speaker 1: can't change the economy. 382 00:19:06,621 --> 00:19:08,101 Speaker 4: I think that that's a paladin. 383 00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,341 Speaker 1: As an individual You can't. But what you can do 384 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:15,702 Speaker 1: is get out of bed in the morning, high five yourself, 385 00:19:15,982 --> 00:19:19,101 Speaker 1: and feel better. And we know that the key to 386 00:19:19,262 --> 00:19:22,061 Speaker 1: making any positive change, whether it's outside your life or 387 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:25,061 Speaker 1: inside your life, is feeling good. If you feel miserable 388 00:19:25,101 --> 00:19:28,581 Speaker 1: and your self esteem is low and you're procrastinating, you're 389 00:19:28,621 --> 00:19:29,702 Speaker 1: of no good to anyone. 390 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:30,742 Speaker 2: True. 391 00:19:30,782 --> 00:19:34,461 Speaker 3: But I think that there's a difference between Brene Brown, right, 392 00:19:34,502 --> 00:19:38,621 Speaker 3: it was all about vulnerability and connection. Interestingly is Mel 393 00:19:38,702 --> 00:19:41,581 Speaker 3: Robins because in saying let them, there's a bit of 394 00:19:41,742 --> 00:19:44,621 Speaker 3: siloing there, which is sort of like I'm going to 395 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,461 Speaker 3: do my thing. And I listened to a bunch of 396 00:19:46,462 --> 00:19:48,781 Speaker 3: Mel Robins in preparation for this, and I like her. 397 00:19:48,861 --> 00:19:51,542 Speaker 3: I'm not trying to I've just got some questions about 398 00:19:51,621 --> 00:19:54,782 Speaker 3: what she says. She uses the word winning a lot, 399 00:19:54,901 --> 00:19:57,461 Speaker 3: and like you are going to be the winner and 400 00:19:57,502 --> 00:19:59,381 Speaker 3: the past you would have been a loser and all 401 00:19:59,381 --> 00:20:02,862 Speaker 3: that kind of stuff. And I'm just a little bit 402 00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:07,182 Speaker 3: allergic to the individualism of her. 403 00:20:07,341 --> 00:20:08,502 Speaker 1: But that's your self help. 404 00:20:08,661 --> 00:20:12,662 Speaker 2: Is I understand exactly what you mean, though, Jesse, Because 405 00:20:12,661 --> 00:20:15,262 Speaker 2: although I'm a big believer that a short walk solves 406 00:20:15,302 --> 00:20:17,581 Speaker 2: every problem, and getting out of bed blah blah. But 407 00:20:17,661 --> 00:20:20,901 Speaker 2: it is true that it's not going to solve all 408 00:20:20,942 --> 00:20:22,661 Speaker 2: the problems in the world. To pull yourself up by 409 00:20:22,702 --> 00:20:24,901 Speaker 2: your bootstraps, just toughen up and get on with it. 410 00:20:24,942 --> 00:20:28,381 Speaker 2: Really isn't helpful in lots of situations, but it is 411 00:20:28,542 --> 00:20:31,542 Speaker 2: helpful in some small situations. And I think that me 412 00:20:31,661 --> 00:20:33,542 Speaker 2: is right that what we're talking about here, and what 413 00:20:33,661 --> 00:20:37,022 Speaker 2: Mel Robbins is addressing, is what can you control what's 414 00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:39,181 Speaker 2: in your circle influence. I don't think that means you 415 00:20:39,182 --> 00:20:41,461 Speaker 2: shouldn't be thinking about inequality, and I don't think that 416 00:20:41,502 --> 00:20:43,101 Speaker 2: means she shouldn't be thinking about how do I make 417 00:20:43,101 --> 00:20:45,141 Speaker 2: a difference to the world. I think that that's a 418 00:20:45,341 --> 00:20:47,462 Speaker 2: very important thing to be thinking about. But in terms 419 00:20:47,462 --> 00:20:50,182 Speaker 2: of you and your world, that's where Mel Robins has 420 00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:52,741 Speaker 2: some answers for you. Whether or not she's about connection, 421 00:20:52,821 --> 00:20:54,902 Speaker 2: she does talk about it. She does talk about I've 422 00:20:54,901 --> 00:20:57,302 Speaker 2: listened to some of the podcasts where she's like, obviously 423 00:20:57,302 --> 00:20:59,262 Speaker 2: it's great to be rich and successful and all those things, 424 00:20:59,422 --> 00:21:00,941 Speaker 2: but she's like, but do you want to be standing 425 00:21:00,942 --> 00:21:03,302 Speaker 2: on the top of the mountain alone? Really, we're all 426 00:21:03,341 --> 00:21:06,421 Speaker 2: about our people around us. Really, those messages are all 427 00:21:06,502 --> 00:21:10,022 Speaker 2: quite similar in the end, how loud is in a moment, 428 00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:12,381 Speaker 2: something to read, something to wear, and something to listen to. 429 00:21:12,581 --> 00:21:25,181 Speaker 6: It's our recommendations, vibes, ideas, atmosphere, something casual, something fun. 430 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,221 Speaker 1: This is my best recommendation. 431 00:21:28,581 --> 00:21:29,182 Speaker 2: It's right. 432 00:21:29,702 --> 00:21:31,621 Speaker 1: So we're going to help set up your weekend with 433 00:21:31,901 --> 00:21:35,502 Speaker 1: our best recommendations. Holly, what am I doing? 434 00:21:35,901 --> 00:21:39,621 Speaker 2: Okay? So I just finished listening to a beautiful book. 435 00:21:39,901 --> 00:21:42,101 Speaker 2: You know how people often say, how do you guys 436 00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:45,662 Speaker 2: read and listen to and watch things. I've hacked away 437 00:21:45,742 --> 00:21:47,381 Speaker 2: to read two books at once. I listened to one 438 00:21:47,422 --> 00:21:49,942 Speaker 2: and I read another. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. I've 439 00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:52,302 Speaker 2: been listening to a book that isn't new, but it's 440 00:21:52,302 --> 00:21:55,022 Speaker 2: sort of back in the zeitgeist because later this year 441 00:21:55,061 --> 00:21:57,542 Speaker 2: a movies coming out of this book that stars Jillian Anderson, 442 00:21:57,581 --> 00:22:00,581 Speaker 2: who's obviously a goddess of great status, and it's called 443 00:22:00,621 --> 00:22:02,742 Speaker 2: The Salt Path and it's British book and it's by 444 00:22:02,901 --> 00:22:06,022 Speaker 2: this woman called rain and Win, so she narrates it. 445 00:22:06,141 --> 00:22:07,421 Speaker 2: And the reason that I was listening to it is 446 00:22:07,462 --> 00:22:09,502 Speaker 2: somebody recommended it to me who I interviewed on mid 447 00:22:09,581 --> 00:22:12,141 Speaker 2: and it's about this woman. It's kind of think of 448 00:22:12,262 --> 00:22:15,861 Speaker 2: like Wild where Cheryl Strayed went off and walked that 449 00:22:15,982 --> 00:22:17,862 Speaker 2: big track on her own to find herself and cure 450 00:22:17,861 --> 00:22:21,502 Speaker 2: herself with alcoholism. This is about this English couple who 451 00:22:21,742 --> 00:22:24,141 Speaker 2: lose everything. They've got grown up kids who are going 452 00:22:24,182 --> 00:22:26,942 Speaker 2: after university. They're like comfy middle class people. Actually, mel 453 00:22:27,022 --> 00:22:28,742 Speaker 2: Robins would have a lot to say to these people. 454 00:22:29,462 --> 00:22:31,302 Speaker 2: They live a comfy middle class life. They've been living 455 00:22:31,302 --> 00:22:34,061 Speaker 2: on this beautiful farm in Wales for like twenty years 456 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,742 Speaker 2: and they've restored it and it's their world, and they 457 00:22:35,782 --> 00:22:38,661 Speaker 2: lose it all in a scam. They literally are penniless 458 00:22:38,782 --> 00:22:40,381 Speaker 2: and they're at this point in the life going what 459 00:22:40,422 --> 00:22:42,502 Speaker 2: are we going to do? They decide that rather than 460 00:22:43,462 --> 00:22:45,381 Speaker 2: take a council house, which they do and will end 461 00:22:45,462 --> 00:22:47,141 Speaker 2: up doing eventually, I'm sure, but they go on a 462 00:22:47,182 --> 00:22:49,741 Speaker 2: long walk and they basically become homeless. But instead of 463 00:22:49,742 --> 00:22:52,622 Speaker 2: being homeless in the city and in the system, they 464 00:22:52,742 --> 00:22:55,061 Speaker 2: just put backpacks on and walk. 465 00:22:55,302 --> 00:22:55,982 Speaker 1: It's interesting. 466 00:22:56,101 --> 00:22:58,302 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's a memoir. It's true. It's one hundred 467 00:22:58,302 --> 00:22:58,901 Speaker 2: percent true. 468 00:22:59,022 --> 00:23:00,902 Speaker 1: Like proper Grainer and the other. 469 00:23:00,742 --> 00:23:03,061 Speaker 2: Thing that happens just before they do this, So they 470 00:23:03,101 --> 00:23:05,341 Speaker 2: lose everything they've ever owned, and then moth he's the 471 00:23:05,462 --> 00:23:10,782 Speaker 2: husband gets diagnosed with an incurable degenerative disease, so everything's 472 00:23:10,821 --> 00:23:13,821 Speaker 2: gone to shit. They're fifty and they're like, what do 473 00:23:13,901 --> 00:23:16,061 Speaker 2: we do? And their kids obviously think they're crazy. They're 474 00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:18,382 Speaker 2: grown up kids. They put their backpacks on and they 475 00:23:18,422 --> 00:23:20,941 Speaker 2: walk on this really long walk. Now, the book is 476 00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:23,982 Speaker 2: really interesting because it makes you think about lots of things. 477 00:23:24,101 --> 00:23:26,661 Speaker 2: It sounds a bit like a classic like spiritual finding 478 00:23:26,661 --> 00:23:29,141 Speaker 2: yourself story, and it kind of is great. But because 479 00:23:29,182 --> 00:23:32,901 Speaker 2: they're literally broke while they're doing this, they can't eat. 480 00:23:33,581 --> 00:23:36,542 Speaker 2: They get something like thirty pounds a fortnight put in 481 00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:39,781 Speaker 2: their bank account by like the pension or something, so 482 00:23:39,821 --> 00:23:42,861 Speaker 2: they're hanging out for that. So they're like trying to 483 00:23:42,901 --> 00:23:45,661 Speaker 2: find ways to literally survive. They can only comp places 484 00:23:45,661 --> 00:23:48,341 Speaker 2: that are free. They do lots of frankly quite irresponsible, 485 00:23:48,821 --> 00:23:52,501 Speaker 2: like verging on illegal things. He's got this terrible illness. 486 00:23:52,502 --> 00:23:55,462 Speaker 2: He's getting worse. Like it's such an amazing book that 487 00:23:56,661 --> 00:23:58,781 Speaker 2: listening to it. The woman Rayna Winn who wrote it 488 00:23:58,821 --> 00:24:00,982 Speaker 2: so won lots of awards. It became a really big book. 489 00:24:01,022 --> 00:24:02,662 Speaker 2: It came out in twenty eighteen, but this year it's 490 00:24:02,702 --> 00:24:06,461 Speaker 2: a movie and Rayna Winn narrates it. She's got this 491 00:24:06,542 --> 00:24:10,382 Speaker 2: beautiful English accent with a slight kind of range voice, 492 00:24:10,702 --> 00:24:13,381 Speaker 2: and it's just such an interesting story and I loved it. 493 00:24:13,381 --> 00:24:15,142 Speaker 2: It's that right makes of like it's soothing, but it's 494 00:24:15,141 --> 00:24:16,981 Speaker 2: also like, oh, what are you doing, you idiots, and 495 00:24:17,101 --> 00:24:20,022 Speaker 2: like how could you do that? And lots things about 496 00:24:20,022 --> 00:24:21,742 Speaker 2: what it means to be homeless, blah blah blah. It's 497 00:24:21,782 --> 00:24:24,302 Speaker 2: called The Saltpath by Rayna When and I loved it. 498 00:24:24,782 --> 00:24:27,621 Speaker 1: Maya, I'm going to recommend a hat maybe that you 499 00:24:27,661 --> 00:24:31,461 Speaker 1: could wear while you're going on a long walk. Avenue 500 00:24:32,061 --> 00:24:36,221 Speaker 1: Hats are an Australian lady startup, a small business female 501 00:24:36,262 --> 00:24:40,222 Speaker 1: founders focused on sustainable designs. I love hats. I've got 502 00:24:40,381 --> 00:24:46,222 Speaker 1: a lot of caps and I like also straw ish hats. 503 00:24:46,621 --> 00:24:48,542 Speaker 1: I don't know what these are made out of, but 504 00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:52,221 Speaker 1: they're a bit like RAFFI A, yeah, that soft. But 505 00:24:52,302 --> 00:24:54,782 Speaker 1: what I love about them this is the kicker. You 506 00:24:54,821 --> 00:24:56,702 Speaker 1: can just scrunch them up and put them in your bag, 507 00:24:57,061 --> 00:25:00,381 Speaker 1: in your suitcase, in your bag. And they sent me 508 00:25:00,422 --> 00:25:02,101 Speaker 1: a couple and when I looked at them, one of 509 00:25:02,101 --> 00:25:04,702 Speaker 1: them is like kind of like a straw color. Two 510 00:25:04,702 --> 00:25:06,141 Speaker 1: of them are, and then one of them is like 511 00:25:06,542 --> 00:25:08,982 Speaker 1: navy and cream stripes, and I thought, oh no, I 512 00:25:09,022 --> 00:25:11,302 Speaker 1: wouldn't wear that, and then I put it on and 513 00:25:11,341 --> 00:25:14,542 Speaker 1: I bloody loved it. Super comfy and just gives you 514 00:25:14,782 --> 00:25:16,902 Speaker 1: very good coverage because sometimes when you're a cap, it's 515 00:25:16,982 --> 00:25:18,702 Speaker 1: just that little bit at the front and that all 516 00:25:18,742 --> 00:25:19,981 Speaker 1: the sun gets in on the sites. 517 00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:22,942 Speaker 3: I have had so many outlouders message me about getting 518 00:25:22,942 --> 00:25:26,101 Speaker 3: a skincats check after I talked about it recently and said, 519 00:25:26,222 --> 00:25:29,061 Speaker 3: BCCs around the forehead. And when I went back for 520 00:25:29,182 --> 00:25:32,262 Speaker 3: my check up, he looked at my part because I 521 00:25:32,302 --> 00:25:34,502 Speaker 3: part my hair the same all the time, and he said, 522 00:25:34,742 --> 00:25:36,141 Speaker 3: that's where you've got to be careful of. I can 523 00:25:36,182 --> 00:25:38,782 Speaker 3: see it's pink. Like every time you're going outside. It 524 00:25:39,141 --> 00:25:42,381 Speaker 3: isn't enough to do sunscreen. You have to have something 525 00:25:42,381 --> 00:25:42,581 Speaker 3: on you. 526 00:25:42,661 --> 00:25:44,941 Speaker 1: When you think about it, it's true. So you've got 527 00:25:44,982 --> 00:25:46,581 Speaker 1: to a hat because you can't really put sunscreen on 528 00:25:46,621 --> 00:25:48,381 Speaker 1: your scalp maybe yesh exactly. 529 00:25:48,422 --> 00:25:49,861 Speaker 3: And the hat that you're going to wear that you 530 00:25:49,901 --> 00:25:52,061 Speaker 3: can scrunch up in your backpack or your bag or 531 00:25:52,061 --> 00:25:54,502 Speaker 3: whatever is the one that, like you should have, so 532 00:25:54,581 --> 00:25:55,502 Speaker 3: that's very smart. 533 00:25:55,621 --> 00:25:58,661 Speaker 1: So they're super great. They're around one hundred and twenty dollars. 534 00:25:58,702 --> 00:26:01,341 Speaker 1: They're not cheap, but they're very sustainable and you will 535 00:26:01,381 --> 00:26:03,141 Speaker 1: have this forever. They're fantastic. 536 00:26:03,462 --> 00:26:07,022 Speaker 3: I have a book recommendation as well, is called Better 537 00:26:07,101 --> 00:26:08,061 Speaker 3: Days by claares On. 538 00:26:08,341 --> 00:26:12,381 Speaker 4: And I get asked to endorse a lot of books, 539 00:26:12,422 --> 00:26:13,702 Speaker 4: and most of them I do not endorse. 540 00:26:13,821 --> 00:26:16,022 Speaker 1: I keep hearing about this book oh so good. 541 00:26:16,381 --> 00:26:18,941 Speaker 3: So I was given it and I actually read it 542 00:26:18,942 --> 00:26:21,221 Speaker 3: on the weekend. I was away, like close to Berry 543 00:26:21,381 --> 00:26:24,741 Speaker 3: and just read it on this weekend. Absolutely went through 544 00:26:24,782 --> 00:26:28,982 Speaker 3: it so fast. And it's set in Sydney. It's about 545 00:26:29,222 --> 00:26:33,701 Speaker 3: motherhood and ambition and marriage and this relationship she had 546 00:26:33,702 --> 00:26:36,742 Speaker 3: in her twenties that ended, but sort of it's unresolved. 547 00:26:37,462 --> 00:26:39,262 Speaker 3: You know when you read a book and you fall 548 00:26:39,262 --> 00:26:41,462 Speaker 3: in love with a writer, like you fall in love 549 00:26:41,502 --> 00:26:44,181 Speaker 3: with their tone and their voice. It was that, and 550 00:26:44,222 --> 00:26:47,341 Speaker 3: it happened from the first page. 551 00:26:47,621 --> 00:26:48,341 Speaker 4: It was so warm. 552 00:26:48,381 --> 00:26:50,861 Speaker 3: I haven't heard a bad word about this book. It 553 00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:54,262 Speaker 3: felt at first like a smallish story about a really 554 00:26:54,302 --> 00:26:57,061 Speaker 3: believable life. She has kids in this big job and 555 00:26:57,061 --> 00:26:59,621 Speaker 3: it's about creativity. But it just went to the most 556 00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:02,341 Speaker 3: interesting places and it had me so so engrossed. So 557 00:27:02,341 --> 00:27:03,982 Speaker 3: it's called Better Days. It's only come out I think 558 00:27:04,061 --> 00:27:07,101 Speaker 3: like Last Week or something by Klaerzon and Australian writer. 559 00:27:07,262 --> 00:27:09,182 Speaker 1: You'll love it. We'll put links in the show notes 560 00:27:09,182 --> 00:27:12,021 Speaker 1: to all ofs and also thank you to whichever one 561 00:27:12,061 --> 00:27:16,181 Speaker 1: of you recommended the wedding People. That was me, I 562 00:27:16,341 --> 00:27:18,141 Speaker 1: just finished. I don't think it was me. I just 563 00:27:18,141 --> 00:27:21,061 Speaker 1: finished that. I really love that too. Who she got 564 00:27:21,061 --> 00:27:21,821 Speaker 1: any other books? 565 00:27:22,061 --> 00:27:23,622 Speaker 2: I think she might. I think she might. 566 00:27:23,742 --> 00:27:25,022 Speaker 1: I really loved her style. 567 00:27:25,182 --> 00:27:28,262 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, after the break, a fight with technology, a 568 00:27:28,381 --> 00:27:31,782 Speaker 3: night of entertainment, and a depleted social battery. It is 569 00:27:31,821 --> 00:27:33,542 Speaker 3: our Best and Worst. 570 00:27:33,821 --> 00:27:37,581 Speaker 2: One unlimited out loud access. We drop episodes every Tuesday 571 00:27:37,621 --> 00:27:41,662 Speaker 2: and Thursday exclusively for Mamma Mia subscribers. Follow the link 572 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:43,462 Speaker 2: at the show notes to get us in your ears 573 00:27:43,702 --> 00:27:46,461 Speaker 2: five days a week. And a huge thank you to 574 00:27:46,621 --> 00:27:48,502 Speaker 2: all our current subscribers. 575 00:27:57,702 --> 00:27:58,982 Speaker 4: It's time for Best and Worst. 576 00:27:59,061 --> 00:28:01,182 Speaker 3: This is a part of the show where we share 577 00:28:01,222 --> 00:28:05,141 Speaker 3: a little bit more from our week from our personal lives. Holly, 578 00:28:05,462 --> 00:28:06,462 Speaker 3: what was your worst? 579 00:28:07,022 --> 00:28:10,262 Speaker 2: So my best and my worst are both technolo related. 580 00:28:10,702 --> 00:28:15,741 Speaker 2: My worst is the ever ongoing battle with technology and 581 00:28:15,782 --> 00:28:18,542 Speaker 2: our offspring, which every parent knows about. But also I 582 00:28:18,621 --> 00:28:21,742 Speaker 2: hid a new low this week, which was, look, I'm 583 00:28:21,742 --> 00:28:24,102 Speaker 2: one of those people. I've read the Jonathan Heights. I know. 584 00:28:24,462 --> 00:28:26,262 Speaker 2: I know that the world is being ruined and my 585 00:28:26,341 --> 00:28:29,501 Speaker 2: children are being ruined by technology. I know that. But 586 00:28:29,621 --> 00:28:32,101 Speaker 2: still on the weekend, did I allow my son to 587 00:28:32,182 --> 00:28:37,421 Speaker 2: purchase very expensive virtual reality headset that will guarantee that 588 00:28:37,462 --> 00:28:39,502 Speaker 2: he no longer lives in my house? It just lives 589 00:28:39,542 --> 00:28:42,142 Speaker 2: now in some kind of other world with avatars and 590 00:28:42,142 --> 00:28:45,542 Speaker 2: people with heads of animals. Yes, I absolutely did, because 591 00:28:46,542 --> 00:28:50,902 Speaker 2: one of the things about technology is that I fired 592 00:28:50,942 --> 00:28:53,262 Speaker 2: it all the time. And my teenage boys. We all 593 00:28:53,302 --> 00:28:55,302 Speaker 2: know it's a stereotype, but it's kind of true. In 594 00:28:55,342 --> 00:28:57,701 Speaker 2: my house. Girls tend to be more into social media 595 00:28:57,862 --> 00:29:01,261 Speaker 2: and media, and boys tend to be more into gaming. 596 00:29:01,661 --> 00:29:04,582 Speaker 2: And Billy has always been quite into gaming. He has 597 00:29:04,622 --> 00:29:07,582 Speaker 2: wanted one of those virtual headset things for about four years, 598 00:29:07,622 --> 00:29:10,822 Speaker 2: and I've always said no. Little bugger just started saving 599 00:29:10,902 --> 00:29:13,302 Speaker 2: up his money, saving up his money. He put a 600 00:29:13,382 --> 00:29:15,741 Speaker 2: chart in his room of like how far away he 601 00:29:15,902 --> 00:29:18,701 Speaker 2: was from the dream then, and he was like chipping 602 00:29:18,702 --> 00:29:20,622 Speaker 2: away and chipping away, and then You're like, how do 603 00:29:20,702 --> 00:29:22,222 Speaker 2: I not reward this? And then he's like, you can 604 00:29:22,262 --> 00:29:25,182 Speaker 2: put any rules you want around it. You can do anything, 605 00:29:25,542 --> 00:29:27,862 Speaker 2: and you've got all the voices of all of the 606 00:29:27,902 --> 00:29:30,622 Speaker 2: collective wisdom of the village going, don't do it, don't 607 00:29:30,622 --> 00:29:32,021 Speaker 2: do it. And then we did it anyway. 608 00:29:32,102 --> 00:29:34,981 Speaker 3: So I he's smart, and I think that's great parents 609 00:29:35,062 --> 00:29:37,342 Speaker 3: because he learned about saving well he did. 610 00:29:37,822 --> 00:29:40,382 Speaker 2: But when I now walk into the house and he's 611 00:29:40,542 --> 00:29:44,222 Speaker 2: so weird to have somebody in your house with this 612 00:29:44,302 --> 00:29:46,902 Speaker 2: weird so I know, I can imagine the emails I'm 613 00:29:46,902 --> 00:29:48,701 Speaker 2: going to get with the big light thing on, and 614 00:29:48,702 --> 00:29:50,822 Speaker 2: he's just like waving his hands in the air like 615 00:29:51,262 --> 00:29:53,542 Speaker 2: it's just weird. I don't like it. 616 00:29:54,862 --> 00:29:57,902 Speaker 1: His husband got some of those and was wearing them 617 00:29:57,942 --> 00:30:00,142 Speaker 1: in bed, not in a sexual way, but just in 618 00:30:00,182 --> 00:30:02,582 Speaker 1: a weird like, you know, and she would send photos 619 00:30:02,582 --> 00:30:05,421 Speaker 1: of me to me of just like him next to 620 00:30:05,822 --> 00:30:07,822 Speaker 1: her in bed, and I'm like, dude, do you never 621 00:30:07,862 --> 00:30:08,742 Speaker 1: want to have sex again? 622 00:30:08,942 --> 00:30:13,022 Speaker 2: Is that your They're so weird anyway. But my best 623 00:30:13,142 --> 00:30:15,262 Speaker 2: is also technology because I've been you remember we had 624 00:30:15,262 --> 00:30:18,102 Speaker 2: that conversation about AI the other week. I've been using 625 00:30:18,182 --> 00:30:24,262 Speaker 2: AI to do my kids homework, and so my kids, Matilda, 626 00:30:24,462 --> 00:30:27,542 Speaker 2: particularly now that she's fifteen, her homework is hard. And 627 00:30:27,622 --> 00:30:29,902 Speaker 2: I was never very good at school, like well, I 628 00:30:29,902 --> 00:30:31,862 Speaker 2: was always really good at English, and I was good 629 00:30:31,862 --> 00:30:35,181 Speaker 2: at things like history, but math science absolutely forget it. 630 00:30:35,542 --> 00:30:38,302 Speaker 2: So I can't do anything that she's doing. So my 631 00:30:38,422 --> 00:30:41,222 Speaker 2: new best friend is to use the AI. 632 00:30:41,382 --> 00:30:42,782 Speaker 1: Why isn't she doing it herself? 633 00:30:42,942 --> 00:30:45,222 Speaker 2: Well, no, she is doing it herself. But in order 634 00:30:45,262 --> 00:30:47,382 Speaker 2: to get her to do it, she's like, help me, 635 00:30:47,902 --> 00:30:50,421 Speaker 2: help me, And I'm like, I can't help you. But 636 00:30:50,502 --> 00:30:52,862 Speaker 2: what I can do is I can sit there with 637 00:30:52,942 --> 00:30:56,262 Speaker 2: my AI assistant and so tells me how to help her. 638 00:30:56,782 --> 00:30:58,981 Speaker 2: It tells you how to explain. I don't get the 639 00:30:59,022 --> 00:31:01,542 Speaker 2: AI to do it, got it right, like, because that 640 00:31:01,582 --> 00:31:04,982 Speaker 2: would be bad parenting even for me. What I do 641 00:31:05,622 --> 00:31:09,102 Speaker 2: is I ask my AI assistant if you were trying 642 00:31:09,102 --> 00:31:12,102 Speaker 2: to work out out what fraction of this thing was 643 00:31:12,142 --> 00:31:15,062 Speaker 2: this things, how would you go about doing it? And 644 00:31:15,102 --> 00:31:18,142 Speaker 2: the AI assistant gives you like really simple kind of 645 00:31:18,182 --> 00:31:20,222 Speaker 2: like well, first of all, you've got to work out 646 00:31:20,222 --> 00:31:23,062 Speaker 2: the BLA and tells me that so then I can 647 00:31:23,142 --> 00:31:25,261 Speaker 2: talk through it. So I'm not giving her the answer, 648 00:31:25,262 --> 00:31:29,742 Speaker 2: but it's basically like me having a tutor to help tudor. 649 00:31:30,542 --> 00:31:32,981 Speaker 3: I had to do something for work recently where I 650 00:31:33,022 --> 00:31:35,502 Speaker 3: was trying to work out what percentage increase was this 651 00:31:35,582 --> 00:31:37,942 Speaker 3: number on this number to say, I don't even give 652 00:31:37,982 --> 00:31:38,542 Speaker 3: me a calculator. 653 00:31:38,542 --> 00:31:39,382 Speaker 4: I don't know how to work it out. 654 00:31:39,462 --> 00:31:41,582 Speaker 3: Yeah, So I went to my chatbot and I was like, 655 00:31:41,661 --> 00:31:43,822 Speaker 3: what's the percentage increase? And then it did all It 656 00:31:43,822 --> 00:31:45,421 Speaker 3: was being a bit braggy like it was doing all 657 00:31:45,462 --> 00:31:47,382 Speaker 3: the fraction stuff, and I was like, I don't. 658 00:31:47,182 --> 00:31:50,102 Speaker 4: Need to see work to see that simple. I just 659 00:31:50,142 --> 00:31:50,542 Speaker 4: needed to. 660 00:31:50,462 --> 00:31:53,302 Speaker 2: Get whereas I needed to see the working out. And 661 00:31:53,342 --> 00:31:56,702 Speaker 2: it's made me a more because before I discovered that 662 00:31:56,742 --> 00:31:58,981 Speaker 2: this was an impression of me, Well, I don't know 663 00:31:59,342 --> 00:32:01,421 Speaker 2: what do you mean? And then I get cranky, I 664 00:32:01,542 --> 00:32:01,981 Speaker 2: jump up. 665 00:32:02,102 --> 00:32:03,702 Speaker 1: Then she goes, I just need some help. 666 00:32:03,742 --> 00:32:05,422 Speaker 2: I thought you wanted me to do my homework blah 667 00:32:05,422 --> 00:32:08,102 Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah, ai' making the world better. 668 00:32:08,142 --> 00:32:10,181 Speaker 1: I also feel like homeworks hard than it used to be. 669 00:32:10,342 --> 00:32:12,582 Speaker 3: I was a tutor for a long time and would 670 00:32:12,622 --> 00:32:14,982 Speaker 3: be shootering a kid who was, you know, in year 671 00:32:14,982 --> 00:32:18,181 Speaker 3: five or year six English or something, and he'd go, oh, 672 00:32:18,182 --> 00:32:20,421 Speaker 3: I have a maths question and I was like, I 673 00:32:20,462 --> 00:32:22,822 Speaker 3: don't know how to do your two maths like divisions 674 00:32:22,982 --> 00:32:23,982 Speaker 3: was like harkeed, and I. 675 00:32:24,022 --> 00:32:27,222 Speaker 4: Just went, I'm I'm panicking. I'm panicking, may or what's 676 00:32:27,262 --> 00:32:27,822 Speaker 4: your worst? 677 00:32:28,302 --> 00:32:33,022 Speaker 1: My worst is the depletion of my social battery. Like 678 00:32:33,102 --> 00:32:37,782 Speaker 1: you know how often with your devices they lose battery 679 00:32:37,822 --> 00:32:40,102 Speaker 1: over time, they get worse and worse at recharging. I 680 00:32:40,142 --> 00:32:42,502 Speaker 1: feel like that's me. I did an interview on No 681 00:32:42,582 --> 00:32:45,302 Speaker 1: Filter a couple of years ago about the seven different 682 00:32:45,342 --> 00:32:47,981 Speaker 1: types of rest and how you can feel really tired, 683 00:32:48,022 --> 00:32:50,142 Speaker 1: but it has nothing to do with sleep. Might be 684 00:32:50,222 --> 00:32:52,782 Speaker 1: that you're depleted in another area of rest that you need. 685 00:32:52,822 --> 00:32:55,942 Speaker 1: It might be around mental rest, emotional rest, and social 686 00:32:55,982 --> 00:32:59,062 Speaker 1: rest was one that I'd never heard of, but that 687 00:32:59,222 --> 00:33:02,102 Speaker 1: really spoke to me. And I've noticed that I need 688 00:33:02,142 --> 00:33:03,902 Speaker 1: more and more time on my own. So I used 689 00:33:03,902 --> 00:33:06,662 Speaker 1: to think of myself as an extrovert, and the way 690 00:33:06,862 --> 00:33:10,661 Speaker 1: that apparently distinguished between extroverts and introvert is that extroverts 691 00:33:11,222 --> 00:33:15,062 Speaker 1: are recharged by being with people broadly, and introverts are 692 00:33:15,102 --> 00:33:19,382 Speaker 1: recharged by being with themselves. And I'm finding that I'm 693 00:33:19,582 --> 00:33:23,262 Speaker 1: moving from extrovert to introvert and that I need more 694 00:33:23,422 --> 00:33:26,382 Speaker 1: and more time on my own, and I'm finding that 695 00:33:26,422 --> 00:33:29,142 Speaker 1: harder and harder to get because I love my friends. 696 00:33:29,182 --> 00:33:32,342 Speaker 1: I really want to see my friends. Work for us 697 00:33:32,422 --> 00:33:35,261 Speaker 1: is very social innately because we work with our friends 698 00:33:35,262 --> 00:33:37,342 Speaker 1: and we work, you know, I also work with my family, 699 00:33:37,382 --> 00:33:39,102 Speaker 1: and I work with lots of great women. Then we 700 00:33:39,182 --> 00:33:41,622 Speaker 1: have great chats all through the day. But I'm just 701 00:33:41,622 --> 00:33:42,661 Speaker 1: getting more and more tired. 702 00:33:42,702 --> 00:33:46,062 Speaker 3: And I wonder if you've been thrust into like early 703 00:33:46,102 --> 00:33:49,461 Speaker 3: parenthood again because you find Luna very cut feeling. But 704 00:33:49,462 --> 00:33:50,941 Speaker 3: you spend a lot of time with Luna, and I 705 00:33:50,942 --> 00:33:52,422 Speaker 3: wonder if a lot of the time that you were 706 00:33:52,502 --> 00:33:55,941 Speaker 3: spending on your own recharging is now spent with a 707 00:33:56,342 --> 00:33:57,662 Speaker 3: you know, nearly two year olds. 708 00:33:57,661 --> 00:33:59,701 Speaker 1: That's really interesting. I find that being with Luna is 709 00:33:59,782 --> 00:34:03,382 Speaker 1: spiritual rest for me because it comes from a different 710 00:34:03,982 --> 00:34:07,102 Speaker 1: cup than my social battery, or a different battery than 711 00:34:07,102 --> 00:34:09,382 Speaker 1: my social battery. Like sometimes I might want to be 712 00:34:09,422 --> 00:34:11,342 Speaker 1: on my own, but that's kind of different. She fills 713 00:34:11,342 --> 00:34:13,382 Speaker 1: me up in a different way. I think there's probably 714 00:34:13,502 --> 00:34:15,262 Speaker 1: some truth in that, though, because a lot of my 715 00:34:15,702 --> 00:34:19,462 Speaker 1: time on my own is now with her, which I 716 00:34:19,622 --> 00:34:20,221 Speaker 1: bloody love. 717 00:34:20,302 --> 00:34:22,261 Speaker 2: When you're on your own. Just one more questions on 718 00:34:22,382 --> 00:34:26,062 Speaker 2: this matter. When you're on your own, are you socializing 719 00:34:26,142 --> 00:34:30,262 Speaker 2: though on your phone? So you're not actually resting, that's socializing. 720 00:34:30,382 --> 00:34:32,701 Speaker 1: Maybe that's part of it because my group chats are 721 00:34:32,781 --> 00:34:36,422 Speaker 1: always cracking on, and I crack on as well on 722 00:34:36,462 --> 00:34:38,701 Speaker 1: the group chat, so maybe that's part of it. 723 00:34:38,862 --> 00:34:42,822 Speaker 2: You're not really. 724 00:34:42,142 --> 00:34:45,702 Speaker 1: No, I agree with you. It's not proper social dreamy rest. 725 00:34:45,902 --> 00:34:48,861 Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, I'll think about that. And my 726 00:34:48,942 --> 00:34:51,382 Speaker 1: best is, as you said, Jesse, I did a panel 727 00:34:51,422 --> 00:34:53,701 Speaker 1: for International Women's Day and met a whole lot about 728 00:34:53,741 --> 00:34:59,502 Speaker 1: louders afterwards, and what was so interesting was how many 729 00:34:59,542 --> 00:35:02,942 Speaker 1: of them said, you guys got me through COVID, you 730 00:35:02,982 --> 00:35:05,221 Speaker 1: guys got me through lockdown, and I'd sort of forgotten 731 00:35:05,302 --> 00:35:07,941 Speaker 1: about not forgotten about it, but there are so many 732 00:35:07,982 --> 00:35:10,781 Speaker 1: out louders who discovered us during that time. And we 733 00:35:10,822 --> 00:35:13,982 Speaker 1: made the decision. I don't know how or why. I 734 00:35:14,062 --> 00:35:16,542 Speaker 1: think it was just instinctive that we increase the number 735 00:35:16,582 --> 00:35:18,262 Speaker 1: of episodes that we did during COVID. 736 00:35:18,422 --> 00:35:19,701 Speaker 4: I remember Holly suggesting it. 737 00:35:19,781 --> 00:35:22,221 Speaker 3: I was initially against it, and then it was only 738 00:35:22,221 --> 00:35:24,381 Speaker 3: going to be a COVID thing because we went you know, 739 00:35:26,142 --> 00:35:28,062 Speaker 3: and then it's stuck and we don't remember. 740 00:35:27,822 --> 00:35:30,421 Speaker 2: How crazy that was. We all, I mean, everyone's got 741 00:35:30,422 --> 00:35:32,781 Speaker 2: their stories about that, but we all had to learn 742 00:35:32,862 --> 00:35:36,022 Speaker 2: how to record ourselves from home. The entire business did, 743 00:35:36,062 --> 00:35:38,341 Speaker 2: of course, and we never done it, and we weren't 744 00:35:38,342 --> 00:35:40,622 Speaker 2: allowed to be together to learn, and then for months 745 00:35:40,661 --> 00:35:42,982 Speaker 2: we never saw each other. You two did, but we 746 00:35:43,382 --> 00:35:44,382 Speaker 2: weren't in the same. 747 00:35:44,221 --> 00:35:45,342 Speaker 1: Which was its own challenge. 748 00:35:45,382 --> 00:35:48,341 Speaker 2: It was so wild, I mean. And anyway, so that 749 00:35:48,382 --> 00:35:50,502 Speaker 2: connection that we had with the out louders was very 750 00:35:50,542 --> 00:35:53,062 Speaker 2: genuine fust too, right, like it was exactly so. 751 00:35:53,302 --> 00:35:55,582 Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of us bonded during that time. 752 00:35:55,622 --> 00:35:58,462 Speaker 1: And there have been so many new outluders join the community, 753 00:35:58,462 --> 00:36:00,661 Speaker 1: which has just been wonderful. And it just, you know, 754 00:36:00,701 --> 00:36:02,342 Speaker 1: a lot of what we do is behind a microphone 755 00:36:02,382 --> 00:36:04,622 Speaker 1: and we don't get to see our audience. We sense them, 756 00:36:04,661 --> 00:36:06,142 Speaker 1: but it was just lovely to meet a lot of 757 00:36:06,142 --> 00:36:06,782 Speaker 1: them in person. 758 00:36:07,221 --> 00:36:10,341 Speaker 3: My worst is that I have I've been getting these 759 00:36:10,422 --> 00:36:13,781 Speaker 3: tension headaches all last week and I didn't know what 760 00:36:13,822 --> 00:36:15,462 Speaker 3: it was. I kept being like, oh, should I go 761 00:36:15,502 --> 00:36:17,462 Speaker 3: to the doctor about this? And then over the weekend 762 00:36:17,502 --> 00:36:19,542 Speaker 3: it was coming on at the same time every day 763 00:36:20,542 --> 00:36:22,301 Speaker 3: and it happened during an interview I was doing. It 764 00:36:22,342 --> 00:36:25,022 Speaker 3: happened I was doing a television thing and I go, oh, 765 00:36:25,062 --> 00:36:28,181 Speaker 3: because it makes me really irritable, like because I can't concentrate. 766 00:36:28,741 --> 00:36:30,462 Speaker 3: And then I was sitting there over the weekend, I 767 00:36:30,502 --> 00:36:32,062 Speaker 3: touched my head and it was like I could feel it, 768 00:36:32,142 --> 00:36:35,102 Speaker 3: like I could feel exactly where it was. And I 769 00:36:35,181 --> 00:36:36,982 Speaker 3: ended up going and getting a massage, which was like 770 00:36:37,022 --> 00:36:39,181 Speaker 3: the best massage ever, and I said, I've got these 771 00:36:39,181 --> 00:36:39,942 Speaker 3: tension headaches. 772 00:36:40,022 --> 00:36:41,502 Speaker 4: And she did neck and. 773 00:36:41,462 --> 00:36:43,661 Speaker 3: Shoulders and head and everything and it was like a 774 00:36:43,701 --> 00:36:46,701 Speaker 3: spot where it was like clicking on my forehead. 775 00:36:46,781 --> 00:36:51,022 Speaker 1: So it wasn't sinuses because sometimes I can know tension shoulders. 776 00:36:51,062 --> 00:36:53,502 Speaker 2: Yeah, I get the same thing, especially if I've been 777 00:36:54,142 --> 00:36:58,022 Speaker 2: riding a lot, driving a lot, stressing a lot, and 778 00:36:58,181 --> 00:37:00,181 Speaker 2: then the headaches come and then you're stressed about the 779 00:37:00,221 --> 00:37:01,982 Speaker 2: headache and then you send yourself to self headed in 780 00:37:01,982 --> 00:37:03,941 Speaker 2: spiral massuses. Oh. 781 00:37:03,982 --> 00:37:05,901 Speaker 3: It was so it was so good because I just went, 782 00:37:05,942 --> 00:37:08,661 Speaker 3: I've been taking neuropyin every day. This this can't be good. 783 00:37:08,781 --> 00:37:13,422 Speaker 3: So yes actually made a big difference. My best was 784 00:37:13,622 --> 00:37:14,102 Speaker 3: MJ the. 785 00:37:14,142 --> 00:37:16,182 Speaker 1: Musical I know controversial. 786 00:37:16,382 --> 00:37:17,382 Speaker 4: I'm just gonna be honest. 787 00:37:17,781 --> 00:37:21,702 Speaker 3: I got a media invite which now extends to Simon, 788 00:37:21,982 --> 00:37:24,982 Speaker 3: my cousin who has disability, loves these musicals. Yeah, and 789 00:37:25,022 --> 00:37:27,942 Speaker 3: when I saw that it was Michael Jackson, I was like, 790 00:37:28,022 --> 00:37:30,022 Speaker 3: he's he is going to love it because he loves 791 00:37:30,142 --> 00:37:30,902 Speaker 3: Michael Jackson. 792 00:37:31,342 --> 00:37:32,582 Speaker 1: I'm not fantastic music. 793 00:37:32,622 --> 00:37:34,181 Speaker 4: I'm not gonna rull Michael Jackson for him. 794 00:37:34,221 --> 00:37:37,341 Speaker 2: Do you love Michael Jackson like the music? I'm talking, 795 00:37:37,342 --> 00:37:39,542 Speaker 2: we're talking strict the music. Were you like, oh, yeah, 796 00:37:39,542 --> 00:37:40,302 Speaker 2: that'll be a banger. 797 00:37:40,502 --> 00:37:43,142 Speaker 3: I remember, like I grew up listening to Michael Jackson 798 00:37:43,221 --> 00:37:45,461 Speaker 3: music and really enjoying it, and there is so much 799 00:37:45,502 --> 00:37:48,142 Speaker 3: that it's like, we don't play his music as much 800 00:37:48,142 --> 00:37:51,221 Speaker 3: anymore for very very good reason. But when I saw it, 801 00:37:51,261 --> 00:37:54,062 Speaker 3: I went, Okay, Simon's gonna love it, so I rsvapid. 802 00:37:54,221 --> 00:37:56,502 Speaker 3: We went here are some facts about the musical. 803 00:37:56,542 --> 00:37:58,022 Speaker 1: Right, are you worried about getting canceled? 804 00:37:58,422 --> 00:38:00,342 Speaker 2: No? I didn't cry. I saw a lot of people 805 00:38:00,342 --> 00:38:02,662 Speaker 2: posting about MJ the musical, and I was a tiny 806 00:38:02,661 --> 00:38:04,822 Speaker 2: bit surprised because I was like, I thought we weren't 807 00:38:04,862 --> 00:38:06,302 Speaker 2: doing Michael Jackson anymore. 808 00:38:06,382 --> 00:38:09,462 Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, someone said to me media personality, we were 809 00:38:09,582 --> 00:38:11,341 Speaker 3: having a chat as we left, and she said. 810 00:38:11,221 --> 00:38:13,421 Speaker 4: The merch stand is a little quiet, isn't it good? 811 00:38:14,102 --> 00:38:16,781 Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, yeah, probably people. 812 00:38:16,661 --> 00:38:19,582 Speaker 1: Who didn't go because they felt uncomfortable. As much as 813 00:38:19,622 --> 00:38:22,022 Speaker 1: you can love the music, they felt uncomfortable about I 814 00:38:22,022 --> 00:38:24,782 Speaker 1: assume that all the allegations were not covered in the musical. 815 00:38:24,902 --> 00:38:27,582 Speaker 3: No, and I've got some insights about that. But the 816 00:38:27,661 --> 00:38:30,821 Speaker 3: actual musical nominated for ten Tony Awards, one of the 817 00:38:30,862 --> 00:38:33,622 Speaker 3: highest grossing musical theater productions of all time, and it 818 00:38:33,661 --> 00:38:36,421 Speaker 3: has become one of the highest rating Broadway shows by 819 00:38:36,462 --> 00:38:37,582 Speaker 3: the audience ever. 820 00:38:37,701 --> 00:38:39,982 Speaker 2: Can I ask a question, yes, how old is it 821 00:38:40,062 --> 00:38:40,622 Speaker 2: the musical? 822 00:38:40,862 --> 00:38:41,022 Speaker 1: Then? 823 00:38:41,382 --> 00:38:43,302 Speaker 2: Has it been around for ten years? 824 00:38:43,542 --> 00:38:45,102 Speaker 4: It was just around like twenty twenty. 825 00:38:45,181 --> 00:38:47,542 Speaker 2: And then it's all Helps Jackson. 826 00:38:47,862 --> 00:38:50,661 Speaker 3: Yes, But interestingly so it's set in nineteen ninety two 827 00:38:50,741 --> 00:38:53,781 Speaker 3: during the Dangerous tour, and this is when his appearance. 828 00:38:53,902 --> 00:38:56,861 Speaker 3: Knows job that was all the controversy, his relationship with. 829 00:38:56,822 --> 00:39:00,342 Speaker 1: His dad, So it's about him, yes, but it's. 830 00:39:00,221 --> 00:39:03,582 Speaker 3: A moment in time where it goes he's preparing for 831 00:39:03,622 --> 00:39:06,781 Speaker 3: this tour and I went, I wonder if they're going 832 00:39:06,822 --> 00:39:08,542 Speaker 3: to deal with it, And there's one line that kind 833 00:39:08,582 --> 00:39:12,102 Speaker 3: of says separate art from artist, which you know it's 834 00:39:12,181 --> 00:39:15,181 Speaker 3: really yeah, but I looked into it. In the first 835 00:39:15,261 --> 00:39:19,022 Speaker 3: allegation against Michael Jackson was early nineteen ninety three, so 836 00:39:19,102 --> 00:39:23,102 Speaker 3: I think they've specifically chosen this moment to go. He 837 00:39:23,221 --> 00:39:25,821 Speaker 3: meant something different in nineteen ninety two, did well remember 838 00:39:25,862 --> 00:39:28,062 Speaker 3: the wacko Jacko stuff? It was all that anyway. The 839 00:39:28,142 --> 00:39:31,862 Speaker 3: cast is incredibly diverse. The person who plays Michael Jackson 840 00:39:31,982 --> 00:39:34,862 Speaker 3: is Roman Banks, who is one of the best stars 841 00:39:34,902 --> 00:39:37,381 Speaker 3: I've ever seen on stage, best dancing I've ever seen 842 00:39:37,422 --> 00:39:38,142 Speaker 3: a musical. 843 00:39:38,302 --> 00:39:41,462 Speaker 2: Would be a tough gig. Playing Michael Jackson in the music. 844 00:39:41,261 --> 00:39:44,102 Speaker 3: The voice, the dancing, the moonwalk, the robot that like 845 00:39:44,142 --> 00:39:46,062 Speaker 3: all of that. It was like watching an extended Michael 846 00:39:46,102 --> 00:39:50,102 Speaker 3: Jackson film clip. There were two standing ovations before interval. 847 00:39:50,342 --> 00:39:53,782 Speaker 3: I think, was it just the music from that period 848 00:39:54,022 --> 00:39:56,942 Speaker 3: or was it all No, it went back to like 849 00:39:57,022 --> 00:39:59,302 Speaker 3: Jackson five. There was a little like a little Michael 850 00:39:59,342 --> 00:40:00,421 Speaker 3: Jackson and do. 851 00:40:00,462 --> 00:40:01,502 Speaker 2: They do the thriller dance? 852 00:40:01,741 --> 00:40:02,062 Speaker 4: They did? 853 00:40:02,102 --> 00:40:03,701 Speaker 2: Oh, that's the main thing. I mean they did. I 854 00:40:03,781 --> 00:40:05,462 Speaker 2: learned that at school at high school. 855 00:40:05,542 --> 00:40:09,661 Speaker 3: It was interesting because Michael Jackson at that point, the 856 00:40:09,701 --> 00:40:12,382 Speaker 3: relationship with his dad was really interesting, the motown, the 857 00:40:12,462 --> 00:40:15,901 Speaker 3: Quincy Jones, the significance of him being a black man, 858 00:40:16,022 --> 00:40:19,582 Speaker 3: the changing color of his skin. He'd been burned, like 859 00:40:19,661 --> 00:40:22,342 Speaker 3: actually burned, and that's why he had this he started 860 00:40:22,382 --> 00:40:29,502 Speaker 3: taking the painkillers. It didn't explicitly acknowledge the horrendous allegations 861 00:40:29,542 --> 00:40:32,742 Speaker 3: against him, which have to always be part of his story. 862 00:40:33,382 --> 00:40:35,222 Speaker 3: But I don't think any of us have the answer 863 00:40:35,261 --> 00:40:38,341 Speaker 3: about how you separate art from an artist, how you 864 00:40:38,342 --> 00:40:41,142 Speaker 3: go to really challenge This is a complicated story. And 865 00:40:41,261 --> 00:40:44,861 Speaker 3: later this year a movie called Michael is coming out 866 00:40:45,022 --> 00:40:49,782 Speaker 3: where his nephew plays him. This conversation about Michael Jackson 867 00:40:50,142 --> 00:40:52,381 Speaker 3: is coming up again in twenty twenty five. I think 868 00:40:52,382 --> 00:40:53,861 Speaker 3: it's going to be a really, really big one. I 869 00:40:53,902 --> 00:40:57,262 Speaker 3: know that his alleged victims have come out and spoken 870 00:40:57,342 --> 00:40:58,382 Speaker 3: just in the last few weeks. 871 00:40:59,102 --> 00:41:02,262 Speaker 4: But part of me was like, I feel like I'm here. 872 00:41:02,102 --> 00:41:07,022 Speaker 3: Supporting a diverse, talented cast have been going to musical 873 00:41:07,062 --> 00:41:08,301 Speaker 3: theater for a long time, But. 874 00:41:08,542 --> 00:41:13,941 Speaker 1: You're also also supporting the state, which is but the estate. 875 00:41:12,982 --> 00:41:17,502 Speaker 4: Children brothers, Yeah, who, Like I don't have. 876 00:41:17,462 --> 00:41:20,221 Speaker 1: Any thing you shouldn't have gone. I just think it's complicated. 877 00:41:20,302 --> 00:41:21,942 Speaker 1: It is complicated. It absolutely is. 878 00:41:22,102 --> 00:41:25,022 Speaker 2: I agree, because who doesn't like Michael jacks music. But 879 00:41:25,062 --> 00:41:27,062 Speaker 2: the thing is is it's that thing of separating the 880 00:41:27,102 --> 00:41:28,661 Speaker 2: art from the artist. Is one thing you can listen 881 00:41:28,701 --> 00:41:30,821 Speaker 2: to Michael Jackson in your house. Does it need to 882 00:41:30,942 --> 00:41:33,221 Speaker 2: have a movie and a musical and all these things 883 00:41:33,261 --> 00:41:35,022 Speaker 2: alongside these terrible allegations? 884 00:41:35,181 --> 00:41:35,901 Speaker 1: What do you do though? 885 00:41:35,942 --> 00:41:38,742 Speaker 3: When he was unequivocally like one of the biggest artists 886 00:41:38,781 --> 00:41:39,542 Speaker 3: to ever exist, like. 887 00:41:39,542 --> 00:41:41,222 Speaker 2: Can you move away? 888 00:41:42,221 --> 00:41:44,902 Speaker 1: I don't think his state wants to quietly move away? 889 00:41:45,022 --> 00:41:49,381 Speaker 3: No, no, exactly right. Anyway, it was fascinating and it 890 00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:50,942 Speaker 3: was a great musical, and I did think I was 891 00:41:51,422 --> 00:41:55,542 Speaker 3: sitting there going this is really complicated for the alleged victims. 892 00:41:55,542 --> 00:41:58,502 Speaker 3: So it's definitely complicated, but far out it's a great musical. 893 00:41:59,741 --> 00:42:02,022 Speaker 2: Is that, my friends, is all we have time for. 894 00:42:02,261 --> 00:42:04,142 Speaker 2: On our Friday show, we're done for the week. We 895 00:42:04,181 --> 00:42:05,622 Speaker 2: hope you've had a good one with us. We hope 896 00:42:05,661 --> 00:42:07,861 Speaker 2: if you're in certain parts of the country you're drying out. 897 00:42:08,822 --> 00:42:10,622 Speaker 2: And thank you so much for being here with us 898 00:42:10,622 --> 00:42:12,901 Speaker 2: all week. Mia and Jesse take us home. 899 00:42:13,102 --> 00:42:15,661 Speaker 1: A big thank you to our team. Group Executive producer 900 00:42:15,741 --> 00:42:16,462 Speaker 1: Ruth Devine. 901 00:42:16,582 --> 00:42:21,421 Speaker 3: Executive producer Emiline Gazillis, our audio producer is Leah Porgies, our. 902 00:42:21,382 --> 00:42:24,462 Speaker 1: Video producer is Josh Green, and our junior content producers 903 00:42:24,502 --> 00:42:26,661 Speaker 1: are Coco and Tessa. Goodbye. 904 00:42:27,942 --> 00:42:30,142 Speaker 3: If you are looking for something else to listen to, 905 00:42:30,582 --> 00:42:34,542 Speaker 3: yesterday's subscriber episode was all about the last two. 906 00:42:34,382 --> 00:42:36,502 Speaker 4: Episodes of The White Lotus. 907 00:42:36,781 --> 00:42:40,142 Speaker 3: We talked about that full frontal that we weren't expecting, 908 00:42:40,142 --> 00:42:43,062 Speaker 3: a bit of a shot jump skip. Also, we cannot 909 00:42:43,102 --> 00:42:48,142 Speaker 3: stop thinking about those three women, the dynamic between them 910 00:42:48,582 --> 00:42:50,502 Speaker 3: being sent to some very funny resorts. 911 00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:53,902 Speaker 1: That was a scary sound in the background. Well, Linda 912 00:42:54,022 --> 00:42:56,181 Speaker 1: is hearing some scary sounds in her room, and I 913 00:42:56,221 --> 00:42:57,062 Speaker 1: was just mimicking that. 914 00:42:57,261 --> 00:43:00,221 Speaker 4: We had so much fun just basically putting all our theories. 915 00:42:59,942 --> 00:43:00,902 Speaker 1: Out there for frontal. 916 00:43:00,982 --> 00:43:04,341 Speaker 3: Flask was yeah, exactly right, all the easter eggs. So 917 00:43:04,502 --> 00:43:06,342 Speaker 3: have a listen to that if you're into The White Lotus. 918 00:43:06,422 --> 00:43:09,821 Speaker 1: Lincoln's show notes, shout out to any Mom and me 919 00:43:09,902 --> 00:43:12,861 Speaker 1: a subscribers listening. If you love the show and want 920 00:43:12,902 --> 00:43:15,421 Speaker 1: to support us as well, subscribing to Mom and Miya 921 00:43:15,542 --> 00:43:17,502 Speaker 1: is the very best way to do so. There is 922 00:43:17,542 --> 00:43:19,181 Speaker 1: a link in the episode description,