1 00:00:10,254 --> 00:00:14,614 Speaker 1: So you're listening to a Muma Mia podcast. Mamma mea 2 00:00:14,694 --> 00:00:17,534 Speaker 1: acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this 3 00:00:17,614 --> 00:00:18,974 Speaker 1: podcast is recorded on. 4 00:00:21,414 --> 00:00:24,534 Speaker 2: Hey, I'm Taylor Strano. This is Mamma Mer's twice daily 5 00:00:24,574 --> 00:00:29,214 Speaker 2: news podcast, The Quickie. If you've watched Netflix's new series Adolescence, 6 00:00:29,294 --> 00:00:31,814 Speaker 2: you've probably been left with the same gut wrenching question 7 00:00:31,974 --> 00:00:34,134 Speaker 2: I have. What the hell are we supposed to do 8 00:00:34,174 --> 00:00:34,894 Speaker 2: about all of this? 9 00:00:35,374 --> 00:00:38,574 Speaker 3: Jamie? If you do not sit up fucking worry, do. 10 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:43,174 Speaker 1: Not tell me where to say? Don you do not 11 00:00:43,534 --> 00:00:45,414 Speaker 1: control why look. 12 00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:45,774 Speaker 3: At me now? 13 00:00:46,574 --> 00:00:48,694 Speaker 2: It shows us just how early young boys are being 14 00:00:48,734 --> 00:00:52,774 Speaker 2: exposed to dangerous online ideologies. But knowing the problem exists 15 00:00:52,854 --> 00:00:56,574 Speaker 2: isn't enough anymore. We need solutions before we get there. 16 00:00:56,774 --> 00:00:59,574 Speaker 2: Here's Clere Murphy with the latest from The Quickie newsroom 17 00:00:59,654 --> 00:01:01,334 Speaker 2: for Wednesday, April. 18 00:01:00,934 --> 00:01:05,294 Speaker 1: Two, Thanks Taylor. The US Attorney General has ordered prosecutors 19 00:01:05,334 --> 00:01:08,534 Speaker 1: to seek the death penalty for Luigi Mangioni, the man 20 00:01:08,574 --> 00:01:13,014 Speaker 1: accused of murdering health insurance CEO Brian Thompson. Mangioni lay 21 00:01:13,054 --> 00:01:15,334 Speaker 1: in wait for Thompson, who was attending a conference in 22 00:01:15,374 --> 00:01:18,454 Speaker 1: New York in December stepping out from behind a parked 23 00:01:18,494 --> 00:01:21,534 Speaker 1: car and allegedly shooting him before fleeing the scene and 24 00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:25,254 Speaker 1: going on the run. Federal prosecutors have charged Mangioni with 25 00:01:25,374 --> 00:01:28,974 Speaker 1: murder using a firearm, the US Attorney General Pam Bondi, 26 00:01:29,094 --> 00:01:32,854 Speaker 1: saying after careful consideration, she's directed them to seek the 27 00:01:32,934 --> 00:01:36,414 Speaker 1: death penalty as they continue to carry out President Trump's 28 00:01:36,414 --> 00:01:39,934 Speaker 1: agenda to stop violent crime and make Americas safe again. 29 00:01:40,294 --> 00:01:43,454 Speaker 1: Mister Mangioni has pleaded not guilty to separate murder and 30 00:01:43,574 --> 00:01:46,534 Speaker 1: terrorism charges in the state of New York. He's yet 31 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:49,054 Speaker 1: to enter a plea for the federal case, which is 32 00:01:49,094 --> 00:01:52,574 Speaker 1: expected to be tried after the States still in the 33 00:01:52,694 --> 00:01:56,014 Speaker 1: US and the Trump administration is considering placing a twenty 34 00:01:56,014 --> 00:01:59,454 Speaker 1: percent tariff on nearly all goods entering the United States. 35 00:01:59,774 --> 00:02:03,174 Speaker 1: Trump has been marking April I as Liberation Day, where 36 00:02:03,174 --> 00:02:05,694 Speaker 1: he's expected to announce the new range of tariffs that 37 00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,934 Speaker 1: could upend the global trade system, saying on Sunday that 38 00:02:08,974 --> 00:02:11,614 Speaker 1: they will tie at all countries that impose duties on 39 00:02:11,734 --> 00:02:14,294 Speaker 1: US goods and that any country that has treated the 40 00:02:14,414 --> 00:02:18,774 Speaker 1: US unfairly should expect to receive tariffs. This includes Australia 41 00:02:18,814 --> 00:02:22,214 Speaker 1: with a list of complaints already issued over duties placed 42 00:02:22,214 --> 00:02:26,694 Speaker 1: on US beef, pork, poultry, drugs, social media and local 43 00:02:26,774 --> 00:02:30,614 Speaker 1: content streaming rules. Prime Minister Anthony Alberonizi says none of 44 00:02:30,614 --> 00:02:34,134 Speaker 1: the grievances listed by US trade officials are up for negotiation, 45 00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:37,734 Speaker 1: saying the idea that we would weaken biosecurity laws is 46 00:02:37,774 --> 00:02:40,774 Speaker 1: like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Opposition 47 00:02:40,854 --> 00:02:43,414 Speaker 1: leader Peter Dutton back to the PM, saying he agrees 48 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:46,534 Speaker 1: with his position and that he also would not compromise 49 00:02:46,574 --> 00:02:51,334 Speaker 1: issues of national significance and importance. The victims of conwoman 50 00:02:51,454 --> 00:02:54,694 Speaker 1: Melissa Kaddeka clawing back some of their losses settling a 51 00:02:54,734 --> 00:02:58,854 Speaker 1: class action lawsuit against her auditors. They've already been repaid 52 00:02:58,934 --> 00:03:01,694 Speaker 1: seven point twenty five million of the lost twenty three 53 00:03:01,734 --> 00:03:04,894 Speaker 1: million dollars after they sold off her assets in twenty 54 00:03:04,974 --> 00:03:08,534 Speaker 1: twenty three and twenty twenty four, Federal Court Justice bridget 55 00:03:08,534 --> 00:03:11,614 Speaker 1: Markovich green lawe citing a further three point five million 56 00:03:11,694 --> 00:03:14,214 Speaker 1: to be paid out in the settlement. The thirty two 57 00:03:14,254 --> 00:03:17,894 Speaker 1: investors also launched a class action seeking damages from five 58 00:03:17,974 --> 00:03:22,334 Speaker 1: firms who Auditedkadock's accounts between twenty twelve and twenty twenty, 59 00:03:22,614 --> 00:03:26,694 Speaker 1: claiming they failed to identify fraudulent documents or identify if 60 00:03:26,734 --> 00:03:29,134 Speaker 1: the shares Cadok claimed were being held in the victim's 61 00:03:29,174 --> 00:03:33,534 Speaker 1: self managed superfunds, ever existed. Kadok took millions from family 62 00:03:33,574 --> 00:03:37,254 Speaker 1: and friends via the investment scam to fund her luxurious lifestyle. 63 00:03:37,614 --> 00:03:39,934 Speaker 1: The forty nine year old then went missing in November 64 00:03:39,974 --> 00:03:43,294 Speaker 1: twenty twenty, days after her home was raided by ASEIC 65 00:03:43,334 --> 00:03:47,134 Speaker 1: agents investigating the ponzi scheme. She was declared deceased in 66 00:03:47,214 --> 00:03:49,774 Speaker 1: twenty twenty three after her foot washed up on a 67 00:03:49,814 --> 00:03:50,574 Speaker 1: Sydney beach. 68 00:03:51,294 --> 00:03:51,654 Speaker 2: One of the. 69 00:03:51,694 --> 00:03:55,094 Speaker 1: Lawsuits accusing Sean Diddy Combs of sexual assault has been 70 00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:59,454 Speaker 1: dismissed because the anonymous plaintiff refused to refa the complaint 71 00:03:59,534 --> 00:04:02,214 Speaker 1: under her real name. The woman known as Jane Doe 72 00:04:02,294 --> 00:04:04,934 Speaker 1: accused Combs of assaulting her at a party in nineteen 73 00:04:05,014 --> 00:04:08,734 Speaker 1: ninety five. The court denied her motion to proceed anonymously. 74 00:04:09,654 --> 00:04:11,894 Speaker 1: Her to file under her real name, all the case 75 00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:15,494 Speaker 1: would be dismissed. Combs's legal team has praised the decision, 76 00:04:15,614 --> 00:04:19,534 Speaker 1: saying they've been fielding case after case filed by individuals 77 00:04:19,614 --> 00:04:23,334 Speaker 1: hiding behind anonymity, pushed by attorneys they say are more 78 00:04:23,334 --> 00:04:26,814 Speaker 1: focused on media headlines than legal merit. This is the 79 00:04:26,894 --> 00:04:29,974 Speaker 1: second case brought against Combs that has been dismissed, his 80 00:04:30,054 --> 00:04:32,734 Speaker 1: attorneys saying it won't be the last, as he faces 81 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:36,894 Speaker 1: dozens of lawsuits claiming abuse over decades of the music mogul, 82 00:04:37,014 --> 00:04:40,694 Speaker 1: allegedly using his influence in the industry to abuse hopeful 83 00:04:40,734 --> 00:04:42,774 Speaker 1: young artists and those in his orbit. 84 00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:52,614 Speaker 2: Thanks Claire Next, answering the question adolescence asks, like everyone else, 85 00:04:52,654 --> 00:04:56,094 Speaker 2: I've been watching Adolescents on Netflix and I can't stop 86 00:04:56,094 --> 00:04:59,454 Speaker 2: thinking about it. The four part series paints a confronting 87 00:04:59,534 --> 00:05:02,054 Speaker 2: picture of how young boys are being exposed to in 88 00:05:02,174 --> 00:05:06,534 Speaker 2: cell ideology and extreme content online. In CEL short for 89 00:05:06,694 --> 00:05:10,574 Speaker 2: involuntary celibate, is a belief system where individ uels, mostly men, 90 00:05:10,734 --> 00:05:14,574 Speaker 2: feel entitled to sex or romantic relationships, but blame women 91 00:05:14,654 --> 00:05:18,454 Speaker 2: and society for their lack of success. It often involves 92 00:05:18,494 --> 00:05:21,854 Speaker 2: toxic views on gender roles and resentment towards women, fueling 93 00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:26,414 Speaker 2: a cycle of frustration, isolation, and in extreme cases, violence. 94 00:05:27,334 --> 00:05:29,254 Speaker 2: It's the kind of thing that keeps you up at night, 95 00:05:29,614 --> 00:05:32,174 Speaker 2: especially if you're a parent. And even if you're not. 96 00:05:32,734 --> 00:05:35,614 Speaker 2: I don't have kids, but I am genuinely worried about 97 00:05:35,614 --> 00:05:38,294 Speaker 2: the world we're creating and how one makes the choice 98 00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:40,974 Speaker 2: to bring kids into that world when there's a chance 99 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:44,414 Speaker 2: they'll fall victim to incell culture, regardless of how good 100 00:05:44,454 --> 00:05:48,214 Speaker 2: a job you do as a parent. We're seeing boys 101 00:05:48,254 --> 00:05:51,574 Speaker 2: as young as nine or ten stumbling across red pill content, 102 00:05:51,774 --> 00:05:55,614 Speaker 2: getting sucked into echo chambers of toxic masculinity and becoming 103 00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:59,574 Speaker 2: increasingly isolated from the real world. And the scariest part, 104 00:06:00,174 --> 00:06:03,334 Speaker 2: many parents don't even know it's happening. Their kids might 105 00:06:03,334 --> 00:06:06,134 Speaker 2: be watching gaming videos one minute and the next they're 106 00:06:06,134 --> 00:06:12,494 Speaker 2: being fed increasingly extreme content through Olgarie. But here's the thing, Well, 107 00:06:12,574 --> 00:06:16,294 Speaker 2: adolescence does an excellent job of highlighting the problem. It 108 00:06:16,414 --> 00:06:20,134 Speaker 2: leaves us with a burning question, what can we actually 109 00:06:20,174 --> 00:06:24,134 Speaker 2: do about it? Simoone Hang is a human connection specialist 110 00:06:24,174 --> 00:06:27,494 Speaker 2: and best selling author of Let's Talk About Loneliness. She's 111 00:06:27,574 --> 00:06:31,534 Speaker 2: been researching this exact issue. Simon, what were your initial 112 00:06:31,574 --> 00:06:33,094 Speaker 2: thoughts when you watched adolescents? 113 00:06:33,454 --> 00:06:36,694 Speaker 3: So it's so funny. I was like, Yes, this is 114 00:06:36,734 --> 00:06:39,654 Speaker 3: everything I've been studying and reading about and talking about 115 00:06:39,654 --> 00:06:43,294 Speaker 3: on stages but now they've narrativized it and it's gone mainstream. 116 00:06:43,494 --> 00:06:45,774 Speaker 3: So the sad thing was it didn't shock me, but 117 00:06:45,814 --> 00:06:48,694 Speaker 3: it should. But I'm the auntie to twenty five children 118 00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:51,054 Speaker 3: around the world, and I got calls and messages from 119 00:06:51,094 --> 00:06:54,214 Speaker 3: the parents of all of my friends around this. What's 120 00:06:54,254 --> 00:06:57,734 Speaker 3: interesting is all of these studies and these books, and 121 00:06:57,814 --> 00:07:00,334 Speaker 3: of course my speeches and stuff, they're not going to 122 00:07:00,374 --> 00:07:02,414 Speaker 3: the demographic that needs to see this, And so I 123 00:07:02,414 --> 00:07:06,174 Speaker 3: thought adolescence is wonderful because it's actually hitting the demographic 124 00:07:06,294 --> 00:07:09,254 Speaker 3: of busy mums, busy dads who get to sit down 125 00:07:09,374 --> 00:07:12,574 Speaker 3: and watch this in a really easy and palatable and 126 00:07:12,654 --> 00:07:13,374 Speaker 3: efficient way. 127 00:07:13,854 --> 00:07:17,094 Speaker 2: So this is obviously an extreme case scenario. Not every 128 00:07:17,734 --> 00:07:21,414 Speaker 2: child or boy particularly who falls into these viewing habits 129 00:07:21,494 --> 00:07:25,334 Speaker 2: or these situations or subcultures is necessarily going to end 130 00:07:25,414 --> 00:07:28,534 Speaker 2: up allegedly stabbing a classmate to death. It is an 131 00:07:28,534 --> 00:07:31,134 Speaker 2: extreme case. But it also is really interesting that it 132 00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:34,294 Speaker 2: focuses on young boys. Why are they in particular maybe 133 00:07:34,294 --> 00:07:36,974 Speaker 2: more vulnerable to this kind of online radicalization. 134 00:07:37,454 --> 00:07:39,254 Speaker 3: Well, you've got to look at the different ways we 135 00:07:39,294 --> 00:07:42,774 Speaker 3: are taught as genders to connect. For example, women are 136 00:07:42,814 --> 00:07:45,614 Speaker 3: very vulnerable with their inner circle of intimate connections. We 137 00:07:45,734 --> 00:07:49,294 Speaker 3: share things that hurt us, we share quite deeply, and 138 00:07:49,334 --> 00:07:52,934 Speaker 3: the studies show that men connection is more shallow and wide. 139 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:56,374 Speaker 3: So they'll have friends, but they don't disclose what could 140 00:07:56,374 --> 00:07:57,854 Speaker 3: be hurting them, but certainly not going to say I 141 00:07:57,854 --> 00:08:00,814 Speaker 3: feel lonely and unattractive and isolated, as we find out 142 00:08:00,854 --> 00:08:02,814 Speaker 3: with this young boy in the series. So I think 143 00:08:02,934 --> 00:08:08,094 Speaker 3: this lack of vulnerability with their peers because of these 144 00:08:08,334 --> 00:08:13,414 Speaker 3: toxic masculine ideas make young boys specifically vulnerable and more 145 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:17,574 Speaker 3: lonely during certain points of adolescence maybe than girls. 146 00:08:17,894 --> 00:08:20,774 Speaker 2: Why is it that boys maybe struggle to express their 147 00:08:20,774 --> 00:08:21,854 Speaker 2: emotions more than. 148 00:08:22,054 --> 00:08:26,374 Speaker 3: Girls generally men have just been conditioned. And I guess 149 00:08:26,414 --> 00:08:30,254 Speaker 3: we could make a leap to how we evolved in tribes. 150 00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:32,054 Speaker 3: Most of the ways that we connect with each other 151 00:08:32,214 --> 00:08:35,134 Speaker 3: came back to that time when we were trying to 152 00:08:35,174 --> 00:08:38,734 Speaker 3: survive on the savannah as hunter gatherers. And I guess 153 00:08:38,854 --> 00:08:41,334 Speaker 3: that the alpha male in the tribe, which is what 154 00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:46,654 Speaker 3: the other men emulated to become, were able to reduce 155 00:08:46,814 --> 00:08:49,894 Speaker 3: the appearance of fear in a challenge. That's how they 156 00:08:49,974 --> 00:08:53,214 Speaker 3: became the alpha males. There's this saying the most powerful 157 00:08:53,254 --> 00:08:55,414 Speaker 3: person in the room is the person with the most 158 00:08:55,454 --> 00:08:58,774 Speaker 3: calm breath. So the alpha male had the ability to 159 00:08:59,294 --> 00:09:03,334 Speaker 3: not show fear and therefore survived in conflict and rose 160 00:09:03,374 --> 00:09:05,374 Speaker 3: to the top of the tribe. So I guess, if 161 00:09:05,374 --> 00:09:08,294 Speaker 3: I wanted to make a really big extrapolation, that could 162 00:09:08,334 --> 00:09:11,334 Speaker 3: be where this idea of not being vulnerable with your 163 00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:12,294 Speaker 3: peers has come from. 164 00:09:12,614 --> 00:09:14,494 Speaker 2: So then what are some of the risks when boys 165 00:09:14,614 --> 00:09:17,454 Speaker 2: choose to seek that connection or that community online as 166 00:09:17,454 --> 00:09:20,574 Speaker 2: opposed to in their actual inner circle with their family 167 00:09:20,614 --> 00:09:22,094 Speaker 2: and their schoolmates in the schoolyard. 168 00:09:22,454 --> 00:09:25,854 Speaker 3: I think for both genders, you go to high school 169 00:09:26,094 --> 00:09:28,894 Speaker 3: with forming our social identity and it can be very, 170 00:09:29,014 --> 00:09:32,334 Speaker 3: very triggering. And let's then add to this a generation 171 00:09:32,654 --> 00:09:35,094 Speaker 3: where because of the use of the Internet and what 172 00:09:35,294 --> 00:09:39,134 Speaker 3: is called asynchronous communication, that's basically where two people do 173 00:09:39,174 --> 00:09:41,054 Speaker 3: not have to be present at the same time. So 174 00:09:41,094 --> 00:09:44,814 Speaker 3: it's a generation where conflict is very, very uncomfortable. Let's 175 00:09:44,854 --> 00:09:46,934 Speaker 3: add on to the fact that you're learning who you are, 176 00:09:47,014 --> 00:09:50,134 Speaker 3: You're getting bullied, you're being teased, there's all this online trolling, 177 00:09:50,294 --> 00:09:53,134 Speaker 3: there's all these chat rooms, there's all these new ways 178 00:09:53,454 --> 00:09:59,654 Speaker 3: to be ostracized, social rejection, for human beings is one 179 00:09:59,734 --> 00:10:01,334 Speaker 3: of our worst fears, Simon. 180 00:10:01,454 --> 00:10:04,374 Speaker 2: As I kept watching Adolescents, something kept steaking with me, 181 00:10:04,414 --> 00:10:06,534 Speaker 2: which is, well, what are we supposed to do about it? 182 00:10:06,574 --> 00:10:09,454 Speaker 2: I feel like I was just being suffocated by this 183 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:13,694 Speaker 2: dread and this foreboding as the episodes kept moving through 184 00:10:13,774 --> 00:10:16,934 Speaker 2: hour by hour. And the conversation that I've been having 185 00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:19,534 Speaker 2: with a lot of people recently is that question of, 186 00:10:19,574 --> 00:10:22,414 Speaker 2: well what now? The show didn't really wrap it up 187 00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,254 Speaker 2: in a nice, neat little package because. 188 00:10:23,974 --> 00:10:25,014 Speaker 3: That's not all right. 189 00:10:25,294 --> 00:10:27,334 Speaker 2: Well, that's not how life works, and I'm very willing 190 00:10:27,374 --> 00:10:29,694 Speaker 2: to admit that, but it doesn't actually help address the 191 00:10:29,694 --> 00:10:32,494 Speaker 2: issue that parents out there are facing. So say, if 192 00:10:32,494 --> 00:10:35,454 Speaker 2: a parent has just discovered that their kid is engaging 193 00:10:35,614 --> 00:10:38,774 Speaker 2: with this sort of stuff online, something tells me to 194 00:10:38,894 --> 00:10:41,094 Speaker 2: throw their phone away and lock them in their bedroom forever. 195 00:10:41,334 --> 00:10:43,894 Speaker 2: Isn't the right thing to do? What kind of advice 196 00:10:44,014 --> 00:10:46,054 Speaker 2: or what kind of things would you say? Are the 197 00:10:46,134 --> 00:10:46,774 Speaker 2: answers here? 198 00:10:47,134 --> 00:10:49,654 Speaker 3: Yeah? So, number one, technology we know is not going 199 00:10:49,694 --> 00:10:53,174 Speaker 3: anywhere young kids addiction to devices are always going to 200 00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:55,894 Speaker 3: be higher when they are lonely. That makes them more vulnerable. 201 00:10:56,014 --> 00:10:59,334 Speaker 3: So using technology as the way station, not for destination. 202 00:10:59,694 --> 00:11:03,494 Speaker 3: Can the parents look at where they can make sure 203 00:11:03,654 --> 00:11:06,454 Speaker 3: their child is actually having an in person interaction based 204 00:11:06,454 --> 00:11:10,814 Speaker 3: off connecting online and make sure that that's a positive interaction. 205 00:11:10,934 --> 00:11:14,094 Speaker 3: I know that's really really difficult to do. I watch 206 00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:17,294 Speaker 3: a lot of my friends struggle with their own kids 207 00:11:17,294 --> 00:11:20,494 Speaker 3: and this issue. I think it is about being more 208 00:11:21,174 --> 00:11:25,134 Speaker 3: invasive sometimes with exactly as you saw the father saying 209 00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:28,454 Speaker 3: in the last episode, it's almost like impossible to be 210 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:30,574 Speaker 3: on them all the time, but maybe we could have. 211 00:11:31,334 --> 00:11:33,854 Speaker 3: I grew up in the Asian parenting system where the 212 00:11:33,974 --> 00:11:37,334 Speaker 3: term helicopter parent would be an understatement. We were surveiled. 213 00:11:37,774 --> 00:11:41,214 Speaker 3: Things are very invasive, but I think it has some 214 00:11:41,414 --> 00:11:45,574 Speaker 3: benefits watching what the interactions are, having a look at 215 00:11:45,734 --> 00:11:48,414 Speaker 3: is my child getting in person interactions and are these 216 00:11:48,454 --> 00:11:52,214 Speaker 3: positively polarized interactions. Secondly, the parent also needs to have 217 00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:55,454 Speaker 3: their own boundaries. We put our own phones away in 218 00:11:55,494 --> 00:11:57,494 Speaker 3: the presence of the child because the child is going 219 00:11:57,534 --> 00:11:59,894 Speaker 3: to be mirroring the parents' behavior. So if you are 220 00:12:00,374 --> 00:12:02,654 Speaker 3: out with the kids, you just default to looking down 221 00:12:02,694 --> 00:12:05,614 Speaker 3: the phone. You're just modeling to the kid that technology 222 00:12:05,694 --> 00:12:10,374 Speaker 3: use paramount over in person connection, and it's connection that 223 00:12:10,494 --> 00:12:13,294 Speaker 3: satiates us. We do get a little bit of dopamine 224 00:12:13,614 --> 00:12:16,174 Speaker 3: off social media, off the Internet, but it's like the 225 00:12:16,254 --> 00:12:19,454 Speaker 3: junk food equivalent of real life human connection. It doesn't 226 00:12:19,654 --> 00:12:22,934 Speaker 3: give us the long term well being boosts, and we 227 00:12:23,054 --> 00:12:25,854 Speaker 3: need to insulate them from loneliness. Loneliness is what is 228 00:12:25,894 --> 00:12:30,014 Speaker 3: the foundation for the addiction to the devices. So making 229 00:12:30,054 --> 00:12:33,614 Speaker 3: sure they're socially well connected, monitoring the youth and having 230 00:12:33,614 --> 00:12:36,894 Speaker 3: your own boundaries that they can see modeled for where 231 00:12:36,894 --> 00:12:39,654 Speaker 3: the phone comes out and when you yourself retreat to 232 00:12:39,694 --> 00:12:41,694 Speaker 3: your own devices in your room and close the door. 233 00:12:41,734 --> 00:12:43,654 Speaker 3: As a parent, so there are quite a lot. 234 00:12:43,494 --> 00:12:45,614 Speaker 2: Of parents in my life who've just straight out and 235 00:12:45,654 --> 00:12:48,614 Speaker 2: told me I won't be watching adolescents. I can't do that. 236 00:12:48,694 --> 00:12:51,534 Speaker 2: It's too painful. I've got kids, it's too close to home. 237 00:12:51,774 --> 00:12:52,614 Speaker 2: What do you say to that. 238 00:12:53,094 --> 00:12:55,254 Speaker 3: I guess adolescence triggers this kind of state of the 239 00:12:55,254 --> 00:12:58,294 Speaker 3: world conversation To those parents, Okay, if you don't want 240 00:12:58,294 --> 00:13:02,614 Speaker 3: to watch adolescents, I highly recommend Jonathan Heit's book it's 241 00:13:02,614 --> 00:13:06,534 Speaker 3: called The Anxious Generation. It will allow them to read 242 00:13:06,574 --> 00:13:10,214 Speaker 3: about what's happening in a less emotionally triggering way. Then 243 00:13:10,654 --> 00:13:14,214 Speaker 3: watching adolescents, because I don't think denial is the answer. 244 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:18,534 Speaker 3: Technology is not going to be removed. It's only going 245 00:13:18,574 --> 00:13:22,974 Speaker 3: to increase, and with that increase means easier access to 246 00:13:23,134 --> 00:13:26,654 Speaker 3: these subcultures in these different places where adolescent boys and 247 00:13:26,694 --> 00:13:29,334 Speaker 3: girls are looking for belonging online and if you're super 248 00:13:29,414 --> 00:13:31,934 Speaker 3: busy you have hard to read. Put the audiobook on 249 00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:35,134 Speaker 3: in the car as you drive. But it's absolutely like 250 00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:38,654 Speaker 3: essential knowledge for parent in the year twenty twenty. 251 00:13:38,414 --> 00:13:41,254 Speaker 2: Five, Simon. Finally, on the flip side of that conversation, 252 00:13:41,334 --> 00:13:44,894 Speaker 2: people who aren't parents and are consuming things like adolescents, 253 00:13:44,934 --> 00:13:49,494 Speaker 2: myself included. I've been having another conversation parallel to this discussion, 254 00:13:49,574 --> 00:13:53,534 Speaker 2: which is really struggling after watching adolescence with the fact 255 00:13:53,534 --> 00:13:56,854 Speaker 2: that if I have a kid, this could be my reality, 256 00:13:56,934 --> 00:14:00,054 Speaker 2: regardless of how good a job you do as a parent. Oh, 257 00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:03,294 Speaker 2: is there hope for us still? Like, is this something 258 00:14:03,294 --> 00:14:05,814 Speaker 2: that isn't actually as big a deal as things like 259 00:14:05,854 --> 00:14:08,014 Speaker 2: adolescents making out to be, or is it just now 260 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,534 Speaker 2: that we have to go into those big life choices 261 00:14:10,774 --> 00:14:13,614 Speaker 2: armed with the knowledge of this could happen and this 262 00:14:13,654 --> 00:14:14,454 Speaker 2: is how you deal with it. 263 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,854 Speaker 3: I feel more hopeful for you because I feel the 264 00:14:16,894 --> 00:14:19,974 Speaker 3: technology divide between by the time you have kids and 265 00:14:20,014 --> 00:14:22,574 Speaker 3: your child is a teenager will not be as big 266 00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:25,814 Speaker 3: as it is for my generation some forty one this year. 267 00:14:25,894 --> 00:14:28,694 Speaker 3: We are the last generation to have had an analog childhood, 268 00:14:29,294 --> 00:14:34,134 Speaker 3: So our gap between being able to monitor our teenage kids' 269 00:14:34,654 --> 00:14:39,334 Speaker 3: use of technology is very wide because we were later adopters. 270 00:14:39,414 --> 00:14:42,614 Speaker 3: We weren't born with devices, Whereas I feel maybe by 271 00:14:42,654 --> 00:14:46,414 Speaker 3: the time you are the parent of a teenager, you're 272 00:14:46,454 --> 00:14:49,094 Speaker 3: going to be just as web fluent as they are, 273 00:14:49,334 --> 00:14:51,814 Speaker 3: and then your ability to understand what's going on. I mean, 274 00:14:51,854 --> 00:14:55,254 Speaker 3: there's that scene in episode one, I think where the 275 00:14:55,374 --> 00:14:58,414 Speaker 3: father is being explained to the colors of the emojis 276 00:14:58,734 --> 00:15:03,214 Speaker 3: by their child and the secret in cell language that 277 00:15:03,254 --> 00:15:06,414 Speaker 3: the father has no idea about in the subculture. And 278 00:15:06,534 --> 00:15:09,854 Speaker 3: that's quite possibly because the gap between that parent and 279 00:15:09,894 --> 00:15:12,654 Speaker 3: that child was very huge. I think maybe if you're 280 00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:15,814 Speaker 3: one of the generations that were born with devices, you're 281 00:15:15,854 --> 00:15:18,734 Speaker 3: going to be more easily in the loop of what 282 00:15:18,774 --> 00:15:21,854 Speaker 3: they're doing than maybe someone like me my age. 283 00:15:21,614 --> 00:15:23,854 Speaker 2: So mine, you've answered my questions and you've put my 284 00:15:23,894 --> 00:15:25,374 Speaker 2: anxieties at rest a little bit there. 285 00:15:25,374 --> 00:15:29,694 Speaker 3: I still think We're living in a beautiful world, but 286 00:15:29,774 --> 00:15:32,694 Speaker 3: I'm a real realist about it, and we need to 287 00:15:32,814 --> 00:15:35,254 Speaker 3: raise children and villages like I'm a super hands on 288 00:15:35,374 --> 00:15:38,174 Speaker 3: Auntie because I feel with all of the bombardment of 289 00:15:38,214 --> 00:15:42,054 Speaker 3: these new technologies and these new subcultures that can become 290 00:15:42,094 --> 00:15:44,974 Speaker 3: available when kids are vulnerable and lonely like that, we 291 00:15:44,974 --> 00:15:48,054 Speaker 3: need the village because maybe your teenage kid tells Auntie 292 00:15:48,054 --> 00:15:50,534 Speaker 3: something that they're not going to tell their direct parents, 293 00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:52,454 Speaker 3: and so we need to come together in community and 294 00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:54,134 Speaker 3: villages and help raise our kids. 295 00:15:55,094 --> 00:15:56,894 Speaker 2: I know so many cool aunties that I told so 296 00:15:57,014 --> 00:16:00,134 Speaker 2: many things too I would never tell my parents exactly. 297 00:16:01,734 --> 00:16:03,774 Speaker 2: Thanks for taking some time to feed your mind with 298 00:16:03,854 --> 00:16:06,214 Speaker 2: us today. Hey, if you've got more questions about the 299 00:16:06,214 --> 00:16:09,334 Speaker 2: wild and wonderful world of parenting, why is it just 300 00:16:09,574 --> 00:16:13,614 Speaker 2: chicking out this glorious mess. With Analys Todd and Tigan Natoli, 301 00:16:14,094 --> 00:16:17,294 Speaker 2: they talk all about the village and everything that goes 302 00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:19,814 Speaker 2: into raising your small humans. There'll be a link in 303 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,734 Speaker 2: our show notes. The Quikie is produced by me Taylor 304 00:16:22,814 --> 00:16:26,294 Speaker 2: Strano and Claire Murphy, with audio production by Lou Hill.