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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Sees the Yay Podcast. Busy and happy

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Speaker 1: are not the same thing. We too rarely question what

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Speaker 1: makes the heart seeing. We work, then we rest, but

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Speaker 1: rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than

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Speaker 1: one way. So this is the platforms to hear and

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Speaker 1: explore the stories of those who found lives They adore, the.

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Speaker 2: Good, bad and ugly. The best and worst days.

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Speaker 1: Will bear all the facets of seizing your yea.

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Speaker 2: I'm Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer

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Speaker 2: turned funentrepreneurs walk the suits and heels to co found

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Speaker 2: matcha Maiden and matcha Milk bar Ces. The ya is

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Speaker 2: a series of conversations on finding a life you love

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Speaker 2: and exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment along

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Speaker 2: the way. Hello, beautiful yighborhood, and welcome to the first

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Speaker 2: episode back. Since the arrival of our little boy Teddy,

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Speaker 2: I still can't believe I'm saying that we actually have

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Speaker 2: a sun that we made from scratch. It still blows

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Speaker 2: my mind. It's been for very special weeks today, since

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Speaker 2: he rushed into the world a few weeks early and

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Speaker 2: took us by surprise. Even as a tiny little newborn,

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Speaker 2: he just couldn't wait to seize his yay and as

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Speaker 2: is very special. He arrived just a couple of days

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Speaker 2: before my birthday, which many of you know I share

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Speaker 2: with my brother who is four years younger than me,

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Speaker 2: adopted from different biological families, and yet somehow the twenty

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Speaker 2: fourth of March ended up being our destined birth date,

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Speaker 2: so adding a little munchkin on the twenty first was

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Speaker 2: even more special. So it makes sense for this first

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Speaker 2: episode back to cover our birth story and the postpartum

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Speaker 2: journey so far, snippets of which you may have seen

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Speaker 2: on socials. I have been teddy spamming everyone incessantly, definitely biased,

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Speaker 2: but I also think he is the cutest baby in

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Speaker 2: the entire world. But this is the first time that

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Speaker 2: I've actually articulated his actual delivery since it happened. It

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Speaker 2: actually felt really weird to open my laptop again, basically

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Speaker 2: for the first time in a month, which you guys

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Speaker 2: know is very rare, and to interact with the outside

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Speaker 2: world again outside of newborn Land. But it was really

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Speaker 2: lovely to look back on the past month with a

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Speaker 2: bit more lucidity than I probably had at the time

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Speaker 2: and just reflect on how wonderful it's been. We only

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Speaker 2: recorded this a few days ago, and I already can't

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Speaker 2: really remember most of what I said in the haze

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Speaker 2: of the newborn bubble. Yes, it's still pretty hazy even

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Speaker 2: a month in so apologies in advance for my incoherence.

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Speaker 2: It is honestly a huge achievement. If I shower these days,

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Speaker 2: let alone produce a sentence that makes any sense to anybody,

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Speaker 2: and let alone do that for an hour. But it

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Speaker 2: has all been just the most magical few weeks. And

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Speaker 2: now I can't really imagine our life without him, as

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Speaker 2: and is away at the moment in Amsterdam, but also

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Speaker 2: as I now know only a fellow parent can truly

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Speaker 2: understand the chaos of that first few weeks postpartum, to

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Speaker 2: know what questions to ask and what might actually be

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Speaker 2: relevant to think about or cover an episode like this,

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Speaker 2: I thought I'd bring in the big guns. And we

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Speaker 2: are so lucky to have Sophie from Australian Birth Stories

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Speaker 2: on the other side of the mic today hosting the interview.

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Speaker 2: You may remember we interviewed her last year during the

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Speaker 2: launch of her incredible Australian Birth Stories book, which is

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Speaker 2: an extension of her game changing podcast that has changed

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Speaker 2: so many women's level of really confidence and positivity and

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Speaker 2: information going into birth and also pregnancy, and she's just

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Speaker 2: been a guiding light through those chapters for me and

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Speaker 2: for us really, so I'm so grateful to have her on.

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Speaker 2: This will also be shared on her podcast, Australian Birth Stories,

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Speaker 2: which is a bit of a pinchby moment so it's

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Speaker 2: structured in her style and includes a bit of background

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Speaker 2: at the beginning about our conception about the earlier pregnancy loss.

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Speaker 2: So trigger warning there. Some of you may have already

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Speaker 2: heard that, as we've covered that on this show as well,

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Speaker 2: so please feel free to skip through that to get

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Speaker 2: to the details of the actual birth if you have

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Speaker 2: already covered that information. I'm still technically on Matt leave,

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Speaker 2: but Teddy's one month anniversary today and also April being

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Speaker 2: caesarean awareness month, made it feel right to emerge momentarily

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Speaker 2: a little bit early to record this. But again, I

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Speaker 2: can already think of so many things I left out

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Speaker 2: or that I didn't get to between my absolute verbal

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Speaker 2: diarrhea of just sharing and getting excited and rambling. Plus

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Speaker 2: you also submitted some questions online that we didn't get

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Speaker 2: to in Teddy's short nap window where we squeezed this

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Speaker 2: episode into. So I will do a follow up episode

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Speaker 2: next whenever that may be, which will cover those and

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Speaker 2: any other questions that you have arising from this one,

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Speaker 2: so please keep submitting those. I hope it all makes

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Speaker 2: sense for now, and thank you so much for all

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Speaker 2: sharing in our excitement and joy about this wonderful next

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Speaker 2: chapter of our path. Yay. I hope you guys enjoy.

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Speaker 2: I'm so excited to record this one with you. Thank

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Speaker 2: you so much. It's such an honor, and you've already

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Speaker 2: been such a big part of our journey, so it's

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Speaker 2: even more special, like really from for years now years.

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Speaker 3: It's so funny because when I was on your podcast,

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Speaker 3: you had just fallen pregnant the first time, so it

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Speaker 3: really has been we've been connected that whole time. Do

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Speaker 3: you want to take us through your journey to conceiving

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Speaker 3: with Teddy? Because I know it wasn't a smooth road.

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Speaker 3: Do you want to take us through that first time?

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Speaker 3: I think I was in the middle of promoting my

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Speaker 3: book and I sent you a copy of the book

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Speaker 3: and you said so timely because I've just found out

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Speaker 3: I'm pregnant.

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Speaker 2: It was all secret squirrels. What was that time like?

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Speaker 3: Had you been trying for a while before you fell

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Speaker 3: pregnant the first time?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we had. We've got quite an interesting fertility journey

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Speaker 2: in that I am adopted, so and I know you

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Speaker 2: have adoption in your family as well. I was adopted

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Speaker 2: from South Korea when I was five months old, and

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Speaker 2: so don't really have much medical history, including fertility information.

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Speaker 2: But then to add to that, my husband's mother was

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Speaker 2: also adopted. She was a young Asian girl adopted into

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Speaker 2: a Caucasian Australian family. So so random that we ended

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Speaker 2: up together. There are so many things in our story

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Speaker 2: that we kind of think made destiny all aline. So

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Speaker 2: we had less of a picture I guess a family

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Speaker 2: history than most people, and did actually start a little

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Speaker 2: bit earlier than we ended up, kind of trying properly.

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Speaker 2: We started trying before COVID. We got married in twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 2: and then my father in law got quite unwell in Tasmania,

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Speaker 2: and then COVID happened, so we paused for a little

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Speaker 2: while and then really gave it a go. At the

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Speaker 2: end of I think it was two thousand and twenty two,

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Speaker 2: and we went straight ahead and did all the tests

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Speaker 2: that a lot of people wouldn't probably do until six

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Speaker 2: months or twelve months into trying just to because we

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Speaker 2: didn't have that picture of any medical history, had no

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Speaker 2: kind of red flags come up, and I think we

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Speaker 2: felt pregnant within three months, so that was quite surprising.

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Speaker 2: I was already by then, kind of in my early thirties,

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Speaker 2: and I just had no idea whether I'd be able to,

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Speaker 2: and also adoption had always been so present in my

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Speaker 2: mind that it wasn't I kind of didn't have all

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Speaker 2: my eggs in this basket of natural conception. So we

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Speaker 2: were just trying and seeing what happened. Happened very early,

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Speaker 2: as you mentioned, I had you on the podcast and

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Speaker 2: I think it was like seven weeks or something at

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Speaker 2: that point, so it was so early, but I just

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Speaker 2: was like, so, of all people, who's going to understand

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Speaker 2: and know that it's a secret, but get excited with me. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we we had conceived, so that was really exciting. And

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Speaker 2: we ended up having a viability scan and I can't

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Speaker 2: even remember the order it happened in now, this is

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Speaker 2: March last year, and we never actually got a heartbeat,

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Speaker 2: so I think the six week scan we didn't have

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Speaker 2: a heartbeat, and they sort of said, you know, this

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Speaker 2: isn't enormously uncommon. You know, it's still possible that you

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Speaker 2: could have a viable pregnancy, but the statistics have changed

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Speaker 2: now that you've made it to six weeks without one.

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Speaker 2: And then we went back a week later, we still

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Speaker 2: didn't have a heartbeat, and they sort of were like,

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Speaker 2: you know, we got let down in very gentle stages

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Speaker 2: that Okay, by now you really should have that marker.

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Speaker 2: It's sort of gone from you know, fifty to fifty

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Speaker 2: to eighty twenty of a missed miscarriage. Wait another week

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Speaker 2: and we'll do another scan and that will really confirm it,

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Speaker 2: and then you'll know what your options are. And I

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Speaker 2: think because we never had that confirmation of a positive heartbeat,

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Speaker 2: we did celebrate, but we didn't have that full safe

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Speaker 2: zone of really, you know, trusting that the pregnancy would

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Speaker 2: go ahead. So it made it a lot easier that

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Speaker 2: it was quite early, and that that was the way

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Speaker 2: we found out. Still a shock and devastating, but easier then.

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Speaker 2: I guess if we had had that heartbeat at the

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Speaker 2: first scan.

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Speaker 3: It's such a drawn out process that I think I've

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Speaker 3: sort of witnessed it with girlfriends and things that it's

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Speaker 3: not just a clear cut there's a lot of blood

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Speaker 3: tests and a lot of retesting and kind of a

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Speaker 3: few weeks often where you kind of are trying to

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Speaker 3: get your hopes up to protect your heart and that

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Speaker 3: sort of dance that you often do kind of isolated.

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Speaker 3: Did you share with many friends and family during that time.

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Speaker 2: No, it's so accurate what you said. It's you're so

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Speaker 2: confused used about where you sit in the pregnancy spectrum,

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Speaker 2: like is this actually going to go ahead? Is it not?

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Speaker 2: And then how do I feel about it? And it's

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Speaker 2: such a blur, and it's almost so raw as it's happening,

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Speaker 2: you're not really sure how you feel about it, so

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Speaker 2: you don't. I didn't personally feel like I could share

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Speaker 2: because I didn't really know what I would share, Like

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Speaker 2: I sort of I often wait in difficult situations, and

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Speaker 2: I tend to do this generally, but I found during

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Speaker 2: pregnancy I've done it even more. Until I'm more certain

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Speaker 2: of the outcome and more certain of how I react

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Speaker 2: to that set of circumstances. I don't share it with anyone,

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Speaker 2: because I'm just like, well, I don't want to share prematurely,

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Speaker 2: because what if I I'm not, you know, I don't

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Speaker 2: know how I actually feel or how to even articulate

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Speaker 2: what's going on. So I didn't tell anyone. I think

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Speaker 2: we told our parents because we'd already told them when

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Speaker 2: we first We very very early, had told them when

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Speaker 2: we first got a positive pregnancy test. So we then

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Speaker 2: go and tell them that it hadn't gone ahead. And

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Speaker 2: I kept it quiet until months and months later, because

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Speaker 2: much longer than I thought to even be able to

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Speaker 2: articulate what my response was, how we felt about trying again.

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Speaker 2: Then you open the doors to questions of well, how

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Speaker 2: are you're going now, and it adds a time pressure

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Speaker 2: that you don't have if you haven't already shared that

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Speaker 2: you've kind of started and had a false start and

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Speaker 2: you're trying again. So we did keep it really quiet

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Speaker 2: and just knuckled down. And I found the distraction of

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Speaker 2: work and being treated as if everything was normal actually

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Speaker 2: really helpful. That there was a place I could go

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Speaker 2: where it wasn't all about fertility, and it wasn't waiting

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Speaker 2: for a blood test, and it wasn't waiting to just

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Speaker 2: miscarry naturally or wait and see what my body did.

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Speaker 2: But all the while I still had symptoms. So I

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Speaker 2: had about a month where I knew that I probably

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Speaker 2: wasn't going to carry the pregnancy ahead, but my body

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Speaker 2: hadn't miscarried naturally, so I just kept having nausea and

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Speaker 2: saw boobs and all the things, but without the joy

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Speaker 2: that kind of makes it all worth it. And I

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Speaker 2: think it was one of the hardest, hardest months of

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Speaker 2: my life, just that waiting time was agonizingly slow, and

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Speaker 2: I just I think I was the busiest I've ever

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Speaker 2: been trying to distract myself to get through those Each

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Speaker 2: seven day period felt like a year.

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Speaker 3: We're sort of going out working, doing all the things

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Speaker 3: and coming home and crying or.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think because my work is so based

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Speaker 2: around joy and yay, I'd put this mask on and

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Speaker 2: go to work, and at the time it was what

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Speaker 2: I needed to be able to distract yourself kind of yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: completely together, joyful, and have everyone reacting to me as

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Speaker 2: if life was normal. And then once I got behind

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Speaker 2: closed doors, I sort of was like, Okay, I can

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Speaker 2: let it all out now. But it didn't consume all

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Speaker 2: day that way, rather than telling everyone and then being

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Speaker 2: surrounded by it all the time, I find you do

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Speaker 2: need to escape that world a little bit. So we

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Speaker 2: got to week eight and they confirmed it was definitely

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Speaker 2: a non viable pregnancy, and the options were just wait

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Speaker 2: until your body naturally miscarries, but you'll keep having all

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Speaker 2: the symptoms. You can go in for a DNC surgery

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Speaker 2: to kind of bring it about, you know, at a

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Speaker 2: timed manner, and it's a full general anesthetic and it's

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Speaker 2: quite quite dramatic. And I wouldn't normally volunteer for a

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Speaker 2: surgery unless I had to, and I would normally just

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Speaker 2: let nature take its course. But by then I was

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Speaker 2: beside myself. It had been four weeks, and the idea

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Speaker 2: of waiting another day of experiencing pregnancy without knowing it

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Speaker 2: was never going to go ahead, I just was like,

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Speaker 2: get it out. I just want to kind of turn

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Speaker 2: the clock to zero. Let my bodies every day. I

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Speaker 2: wanted to feel like I was building back towards a cycle,

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Speaker 2: or I was building forward, but until the miscarriage happened,

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Speaker 2: that wasn't the case. I just felt like I was

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Speaker 2: just in this limbo, so I couldn't actually get in

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Speaker 2: for another two weeks, and that felt like agony. I

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Speaker 2: was like I can't, I physically and mentally cannot do that.

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Speaker 2: And I ended up going to emergency and just at

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Speaker 2: Cabrini and just trying to find a doctor who would

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Speaker 2: do it and see the kind of physical and mental

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Speaker 2: cost of not doing it earlier. And I think it

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Speaker 2: was yeah, by twenty four hours later, at about eight

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Speaker 2: and a half or nine weeks, had the DNC. I

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Speaker 2: think I went home that night. It was just a

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Speaker 2: day surgery, and it was International Women's Week the next

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Speaker 2: day or two days later actually, and I did a

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Speaker 2: gig every day. That's your busiest season, and it meant

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Speaker 2: even more, I think because of what was going on.

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Speaker 2: I had to change all my outfits because I had

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Speaker 2: a surgery and I was bleeding, so I had a

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Speaker 2: line skirts that weren't tied around my stomach and that

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Speaker 2: could fit a massive pad. And like I didn't tell anyone,

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Speaker 2: but in my brain I was like, women are warriors.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's so hard because even at eight

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Speaker 3: weeks after going through that surgery, you're still going through

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Speaker 3: a postpartum period where your body's readjusting. You've got the

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Speaker 3: hormonal shift and everything, and it's interesting.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you've had time.

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Speaker 3: You probably haven't had time to like on that now,

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Speaker 3: but having now been in a postpartum after a full

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Speaker 3: term pregnancy and all of those things, probably wasn't as

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Speaker 3: intense because I don't imagine milk would have come in

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Speaker 3: at that point. But you've still got that hormonal shift,

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Speaker 3: and yet kind of if you're not openly sharing it,

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Speaker 3: you can't go I need three weeks to lie on

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Speaker 3: the couch and everybody cook me meals. But it's kind

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Speaker 3: of what you need.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. And I think there's such a sense, especially

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Speaker 2: the first time that something like miscarriage comes into your world.

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Speaker 2: We had had a lot of friends who would experience them,

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Speaker 2: but they often don't share until you share. And then

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Speaker 2: it sort of all came out in the months after

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Speaker 2: we did start talking to friends that I mean more

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Speaker 2: than sixty to seventy percent of the people we know

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Speaker 2: who have children have had one and we didn't know,

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Speaker 2: so it's sort of at that earlier time, before I

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Speaker 2: knew how common it was, you do feel this weird

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Speaker 2: sense of shame and failure, and you don't want to

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Speaker 2: tell anyone that it didn't work and you couldn't do

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Speaker 2: it or your body couldn't do it, because that's still

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Speaker 2: the narrative that you in at that stage. So there's

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Speaker 2: that as well. I think going through your head that

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Speaker 2: you're like, I don't want to need three weeks of

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Speaker 2: rest because you know, like you just have this sense

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Speaker 2: of I don't know your body, just like not being

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Speaker 2: good enough for that, not the game, but for the

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Speaker 2: task at hand.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I suppose you touched on kind of having adoption.

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Speaker 3: In both sides there was some unknown so then you think, oh,

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Speaker 3: maybe this was what your mother, your biological mother went through.

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Speaker 3: And I know your adoptive mother had challenges conceiving naturally

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Speaker 3: as well. Was she a good person to talk to

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Speaker 3: about this or.

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Speaker 2: She was wonderful, she's my best friend and the most

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Speaker 2: incredible support. But it actually helped that she had never

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Speaker 2: gotten to the stage of a positive pregnancy test. So

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Speaker 2: even getting that one step further and knowing my body

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Speaker 2: could fall pregnant, she had done I think it was

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Speaker 2: four rounds of IUI and then five rounds of IVF.

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Speaker 2: And this was at the very very early stages, so

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Speaker 2: it was quite primitive compared to the hormones they got

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Speaker 2: pumped within the eighties, like, it was very hard on

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Speaker 2: her body, and so I almost had her journey and

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Speaker 2: challenges like, Okay, well I've gotten a little bit further,

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Speaker 2: and the statistics after a miscarriage of fertility aren't you

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Speaker 2: know it's so common that you can still feel pregnant afterwards,

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Speaker 2: that this isn't kind of the be all and end all.

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Speaker 2: So it almost helped for her to talk me through

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Speaker 2: it and say, well, at least you've got this far.

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Speaker 2: There's no reason why your body can't do it again.

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Speaker 2: We had the placenter and the fetus tested to see

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Speaker 2: if there was any medical reason why there was a miscarriage,

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Speaker 2: and that wasn't. It was just at the point of fertilization.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes the math doesn't math, or the science doesn't science,

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Speaker 2: and that was really helpful to take that whole like

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Speaker 2: what did I do wrong away and just realize sometimes

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Speaker 2: it just happens. And then obviously we conceived again pretty quickly,

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Speaker 2: so it kind of it's weird. Sometimes you want it

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Speaker 2: to feel as big as it is, and sometimes you

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Speaker 2: want to minimize it to make it like it's nothing,

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Speaker 2: It's just a blip on the radar, and then you

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Speaker 2: try again. It's weird how you have to psychological clear,

339
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Speaker 2: weighed your way through how you want to feel about

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Speaker 2: it at different times.

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Speaker 3: You did share it more openly with the media and

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Speaker 3: sort of through your platforms, But I'm just trying to

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Speaker 3: think of the time frame. Were you pregnant with Teddy

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Speaker 3: when you shared that, or was that prior to conceiving him.

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Speaker 2: No, So I originally wanted to wait until we did

346
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Speaker 2: conceive again, and then I kind of got to We

347
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Speaker 2: tried for three cycles. When the opportunity came up to

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Speaker 2: share it with Stellar Magazine, with an incredible team and

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Speaker 2: a female led team who had actually both of them,

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Speaker 2: Both of the women who were in charge of the

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Speaker 2: piece had had miscarriages before. It felt like a very

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Speaker 2: very safe space. And then I realized at that time

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Speaker 2: that all the stories I had heard of people who

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Speaker 2: had had miscarriages had told me after they had successfully

355
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Speaker 2: conceived the next time, and in the moment that kind

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Speaker 2: of not that it wasn't helpful, It was enormously helpful

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Speaker 2: to normalize the experience and get support and know how

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Speaker 2: common it is, but at the same time they had

359
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Speaker 2: that certainty of the happy ending, and so your emotions

360
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,040
Speaker 2: don't feel like as relatable as when you're still in

361
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,480
Speaker 2: that uncertainty and the throes of uncertainty that will I

362
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Speaker 2: ever conceive again. So it just popped up in my

363
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Speaker 2: mind that I often try and share the bloopers or

364
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:20,520
Speaker 2: the shitty bits before something has resolved, and I thought,

365
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Speaker 2: this is a real opportunity to share while I don't

366
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Speaker 2: have the guarantee that I will conceive, because the emotions

367
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Speaker 2: will be so different. If I'd waited until I was pregnant,

368
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Speaker 2: I'd be telling the story with this relief that I

369
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Speaker 2: don't have yet, and maybe another woman who had just

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Speaker 2: experienced in miscarriage would feel more reassured by someone else

371
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Speaker 2: sharing before they had that certainty. If ever, And it

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Speaker 2: was enormously cathartic to do it before I knew if

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Speaker 2: there was a happy ending or not. But again the

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Speaker 2: weird timing of the universe, we ended up conceiving on

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Speaker 2: the weekend that the article came out, which.

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Speaker 3: Is so weird because there's often a long a gap

377
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Speaker 3: between when you record and write and do a photo

378
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,840
Speaker 3: shoot to when it goes live so in that introm Wow,

379
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Speaker 3: that's amazing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like I'd done all that, I'd authentically spoken about

381
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Speaker 2: it before I knew that we had conceived again, but

382
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Speaker 2: then by the t and I still obviously didn't know

383
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Speaker 2: until fourteen days after that, But it was just strange

384
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Speaker 2: that I was like, that was the same weekend. That's

385
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Speaker 2: so weird.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and yeah, if you're into that side of things,

387
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Speaker 3: and I feel like there's often people who are, yeah,

388
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Speaker 3: who like just knew they were pregnant when they were

389
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Speaker 3: and things and they're not normally connected with the cosmos

390
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Speaker 3: and all that, but it's like, yeah, yeah, interesting, you

391
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Speaker 3: mentioned that you sought helped through Cabrini. Did you kind

392
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Speaker 3: of was that where you were going to birth originally

393
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Speaker 3: and did you plan to then go Okay, well I'm

394
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Speaker 3: ready to go back there when the time comes with

395
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Speaker 3: Teddy's pregnancy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, we planned to go there. We knew the

397
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:56,360
Speaker 2: obstetration that we hadn't had the first appointment because we'd

398
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 2: never had the viability scan show a heartbeat, we'd never

399
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 2: actually be referred, but we'd chosen our ob We live

400
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 2: really close to Kabrini, and I've only been to hospital

401
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 2: once before, but it was there, so it felt very

402
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,960
Speaker 2: safe and familiar, and then we always knew we'd go

403
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 2: back there, and they were yet the team during the

404
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 2: DNC after in the follow ups, they were absolutely incredible

405
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 2: and then have continued to be so in this pregnancy

406
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Speaker 2: as well. It's just we've felt so cared for, which

407
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:28,840
Speaker 2: I know not all mothers experience during their pregnancy, and

408
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 2: we've just had the most positive experience. What was it

409
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 2: like doing a test then to find out you were

410
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 2: pregnant again? Oh my gosh, so wild, so so I

411
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,359
Speaker 2: can't even describe it. One of the things that and

412
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Speaker 2: I'm sure anyone who's experienced in miscarriage before will understand

413
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:52,960
Speaker 2: that feeling of ill like pure elation, but it's tempered

414
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 2: and almost the whole first trimester, and for some people

415
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,719
Speaker 2: the entire pregnancy is colored a little bit by not

416
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Speaker 2: trusting it all stick or that you will make it.

417
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Speaker 2: Like every week is sort of like you're holding your

418
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Speaker 2: breath of oh my gosh, like okay, I've made it.

419
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Speaker 2: It was a big milestone to get past where we

420
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,719
Speaker 2: got to last time, and then every week after that

421
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 2: was sort of like a bonus week. But you almost

422
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 2: don't you want to celebrate that you've made it, But

423
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 2: you're almost too gunshyed to celebrate until quite far in

424
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Speaker 2: because you know that you know, you've lost a pregnancy

425
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Speaker 2: before and it was a very strange mix of emotions

426
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Speaker 2: of just bliss and excitement and disbelief and then oh

427
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 2: my god, anxiety and I don't want to wreck it

428
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,400
Speaker 2: this time and what could I do differently? And how

429
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 2: do I know it's not going to go ahead? The anxiety?

430
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Speaker 2: And again you don't tell anyone until much well did

431
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 2: I chose not to tell anyone till much later? As

432
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:52,439
Speaker 2: a protection mechanism. So again, it's like I've never felt

433
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 2: more like I'm living two lives than all of last year.

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Speaker 3: Which is interesting from the way that you share in

435
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,160
Speaker 3: a workway you do that the blooper is like this

436
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,160
Speaker 3: is me before and this is me after. When you're

437
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 3: very open in that, and then to not like yet

438
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 3: to have to hold back in that way must have

439
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:10,119
Speaker 3: been challenging.

440
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I've never done it before. I've never really

441
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 2: held any kind of secret, Like I've never been on

442
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 2: a reality TV show where I went away and then

443
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 2: someone had to you know, Like there's never been a

444
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 2: big secret that I had to manage in the way

445
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 2: I shared things, And so from January it was I'm pregnant,

446
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,959
Speaker 2: and then from March it was I had a miscarriage,

447
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 2: and we kept that a secret until September August or September,

448
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 2: and then we felt pregnant in September, so then it

449
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 2: was I'm pregnant from September until the time we told everyone,

450
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 2: which we waited until eighteen weeks because I just didn't

451
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 2: feel secure enough to share the news. So that was

452
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 2: sort of like our whole year of living this like

453
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,199
Speaker 2: yeah fake, not fake, but like life alongside but not

454
00:22:55,359 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 2: telling anybody, and it felt so incongruous and really uncomfortable.

455
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 3: Was the flip side to that. It's also kind of

456
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 3: nice having a secret just at home, the two of

457
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,919
Speaker 3: you knowing that you know. I mean, it seems like

458
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 3: you guys, I don't know you intimately, but it seems

459
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,160
Speaker 3: like you guys are really really close. So I imagine having

460
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,160
Speaker 3: that secret at home was like also a nice thing.

461
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really lovely, and it was almost like

462
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 2: once I got momentum with it, like once we sort

463
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 2: of made it past twelve weeks and had the NIP

464
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 2: test and knew the gender and we'd chosen a name,

465
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 2: and then we made it past like the next scan,

466
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 2: and I sort of started to feel a bit more

467
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 2: comfortable that, Okay, this is probably going to be a

468
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 2: little baby that gets born and I can get excited

469
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,680
Speaker 2: about it. Then I was like, oh, how long can

470
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 2: I wait without telling anyone? Like I didn't have a

471
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 2: big bump at the start, so I was like, I

472
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,680
Speaker 2: wonder how long we can hold this in and just

473
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 2: keep it in our little bubble. Yeah, And then I

474
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 2: made it to eighteen and I was like, wow, I

475
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 2: still haven't told anyone, Like how do we do this?

476
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 2: And it was it was really lovely, But then it

477
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 2: got to the stage then it clicked over into okay,

478
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 2: part of my joy is expressing how how I feel

479
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:05,199
Speaker 2: about things and sharing that emotion kind of how I

480
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,239
Speaker 2: share everything, and I felt any time after that, I

481
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I'm missing the joy of sharing it

482
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 2: with my best friends or going to work and going

483
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 2: to events with women and not sharing with other mums

484
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 2: the joy, you know. I kind of was like, Okay,

485
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,679
Speaker 2: now I need to bounce this off someone. But it

486
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 2: was interesting. I waited until I really felt deceptive not

487
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 2: sharing and that it took longer than I thought. Yeah. Interesting,

488
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 2: And did you travel during your pregnancy or was that

489
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 2: prior to Not really, we had done an extreme amount

490
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 2: of travel for work in the sort of eighteen months

491
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 2: to two years before, which was such a privilege and

492
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 2: such a joy. And I knew that I wasn't pregnant

493
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 2: at those times, so I took risks that I probably

494
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 2: won't take again for quite a while, Like I went

495
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 2: to Antarctica and did a lot of amazing travel. We

496
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 2: went to Morocco in Egypt, and I think that also

497
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 2: helped feel really ready for the next chapter. So I

498
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 2: kind of got it all out of my sister and

499
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 2: we had a wedding actually in Greece, which is where

500
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 2: we conceived. It's funny that once you stopped doing ovulation induction,

501
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 2: stop timing everything, and just go and relax in a

502
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:14,479
Speaker 2: beautiful place. That was the cycle that we conceived. And

503
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 2: then after we came home, I sort of was very

504
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 2: paranoid in the first trimester about not upsetting the balance

505
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 2: for my body at all. So I think I had

506
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 2: one long haul flight plan that I canceled. I just

507
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 2: was I don't know, even though the OB and the

508
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 2: GP were like, you can safely travel, I just didn't

509
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 2: want to go away from routine and my little home bubble.

510
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 2: And then I just didn't have anything booked after that.

511
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 2: And then by then I'd sort of told everyone that

512
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 2: we were pregnant, so I yeah, didn't move around. I

513
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 2: really started nesting quite early, and we had bought a

514
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 2: house and started renovating from I think week five maybe

515
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 2: from like the day I did the positive pregnancy test,

516
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 2: just gotten the keys. So the whole time we were renovating,

517
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 2: we knew it was going to be our first family

518
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 2: home and it was really special.

519
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 3: You just touched on then your ovulation and doing did

520
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,120
Speaker 3: you want to touch on what you did was that

521
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,640
Speaker 3: post having the loss? Did you seek out some assistance

522
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,640
Speaker 3: from an IVF place or what was that journey?

523
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 2: So we'd actually been seeing a fertility specialist from the

524
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 2: first time that we started trying, because of the adoption history.

525
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 2: I thought we needed to go and consult someone to

526
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: just get all the tests done, just to get a

527
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 2: picture of I did the AMH test, like did egg counts,

528
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 2: we did nick sperm quality, we did everything, and so

529
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,679
Speaker 2: we just went back to them they were sort of

530
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 2: were really instrumental in helping us find the right doctor

531
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 2: at Cabrini who we could try and get to do

532
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 2: the DNC. So they'd been there for that whole journey,

533
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 2: and then they said, as soon as you get your

534
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 2: first cycle back, come back and we'll make a plan.

535
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 2: And it wasn't so much about that there were any problems,

536
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 2: because there hadn't been any kind of reports come back

537
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 2: that there had been a reason for the miscarriage. But

538
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,880
Speaker 2: it was more that my cycles were still really long

539
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 2: at the time, so we vaguely knew when I was ovulating,

540
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 2: but it was we were just stabbing in the dark

541
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 2: a little bit at either end of that window. And

542
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 2: interesting yet literally figuratively and literally stabbing in the dark.

543
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 2: It was a really fun time. Yeah, they said, you know,

544
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 2: we know that you really want to get pregnant as

545
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 2: soon as possible, so let's get as much information as

546
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 2: we can. But interestingly, my cycles went from fifty to

547
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 2: sixty days they'd been consistently that long for the whole

548
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 2: year before, back to thirty day cycles like after a miscarriage.

549
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,239
Speaker 2: It was so interesting. My body just reset and went, oh,

550
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 2: oh yeah, normal now, like let's just go back to

551
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 2: standard cycles. But we still did two cycles of ovulation

552
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:55,679
Speaker 2: induction to make sure that I was actually trying in

553
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 2: the right window, and then the third cycle I was

554
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 2: going to be over so we stopped because I couldn't

555
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:05,400
Speaker 2: travel with the injections and keep them at the right temperature,

556
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 2: and we felt pregnant that cycle.

557
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 3: Wow, I'm just thinking, I know, throughout your journey you

558
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,439
Speaker 3: had kind of quite a good support system of different

559
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 3: resources that you leant into.

560
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 2: Where you referred to is it nurtured nurtured birth Sarah,

561
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:19,399
Speaker 2: nurtured Beth?

562
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, did a friend recommend her? Or how did you

563
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 3: come across her?

564
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 2: So it's actually a wonderful story. I think you can

565
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 2: tell by now. I'm like a big I have like

566
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 2: quite a science brain, But then the other side of

567
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 2: my brain is very trusting of the universe, And I

568
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 2: think being adopted and lots of things in our story

569
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 2: have made me know that the universe brings people into

570
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 2: your life or makes things happen at a certain time,

571
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 2: often for a reason. So one of the weird things

572
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 2: about our adoption, this is such a tangent, but my

573
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 2: younger brother is four years younger than me also adopted

574
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 2: from Korea from a different biological family, but he was

575
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 2: born on the same day, like we were born on

576
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 2: the same day as each other. It's so wild. But

577
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 2: Sarah came into our world through lots of different ways,

578
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 2: and none of them were kind of through a referral.

579
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 2: We just went to the same cafe, and then she

580
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 2: happens to also work with the OB a couple of

581
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 2: days a week, was filling in I think maybe on

582
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 2: a maternity role, but with the OB who we had chosen.

583
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 2: And then the person who referred me to the OB,

584
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 2: it's his cafe, Jed at Eden Espresso, shout out if

585
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 2: he's listening. So that's the cafe that she had seen

586
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 2: me at and we'd gone to all the time. And

587
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 2: then we had also connected on social media through her

588
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 2: having been the dueler for a couple of other people

589
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 2: who are friends of mine. She just messaged me one

590
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 2: day on Instagram and was like, I feel like I

591
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 2: saw you, and I also think that you might be

592
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 2: coming to MYOB and I feel like you might also

593
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 2: be really into supporting your body. And she knew that

594
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 2: we'd had a loss, and she not only is a

595
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 2: duller herself, but has a clinic that has a lot

596
00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 2: of fertility services, so acupuncture, pregnancy massage, osteo sciatica. And

597
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 2: she's like, we'd really love to support you on your

598
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 2: journey if you would like extra help, particularly this time around,

599
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 2: anything extra to give your body the support that it needs.

600
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 2: And I just was like, oh my god, I know

601
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 2: you from seventy five different ways and you were good

602
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 2: to me. Yeah, and she works often as the door

603
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 2: up with my OB. Like, it was just so strange.

604
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 2: And then the first appointment I had with the OB,

605
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 2: she was there that day. It was just it was

606
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 2: just so weird. So it was through lots of different ways.

607
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you had sort of jumping you ahead. But

608
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 3: you had quite a busy kind of work schedule at

609
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 3: the end, and I saw you kind of regularly going

610
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 3: in and having messages and checking in and doing that.

611
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 3: So did you kind of book that in as needed

612
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 3: or did you kind of schedule every week I'm going

613
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 3: to do this or did you play it by year.

614
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 2: I think from the start of the third trimester we

615
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 2: booked in something every week at least one treatment to

616
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 2: just keep the bot. I started having quite bad sciatica

617
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 2: pretty early and then as the work commitments became kind

618
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 2: of crept further and further into the trimester, I didn't

619
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 2: know i'd work as late and as intensely as I did.

620
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 2: And I was so grateful that A I felt good enough,

621
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 2: but b that people were still willing to have a

622
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 2: very pregnant woman working. I know it wasn't always the

623
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 2: case in the media, So the fact that there was

624
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 2: work to do and I could still get involved in

625
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 2: fashion week it was amazing. But as we got further

626
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 2: in and I became less and less mobile and kind

627
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 2: of needed more and more, so we started adding a

628
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 2: few more sessions in here and there. And that's absolutely

629
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 2: the reason why I could still be on my feet

630
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 2: for a long time. Like the ousteo was just like whoa, whoa,

631
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 2: we need to fix this, unlock this. Yeah, and that

632
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 2: helped so much, so much.

633
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,959
Speaker 3: At what point in the pregnancy did the sciatica present,

634
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 3: I think.

635
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 2: About twenty four weeks. It came on really intensely for

636
00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 2: about two weeks and I almost couldn't walk. He was

637
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 2: just Teddy was just kind of sitting on a spot

638
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 2: that really triggered the saiatic nerve, and I thought if

639
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 2: it gets worse and worse every week. I'm not going

640
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 2: to make it to forty, Like, there's no way. If

641
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 2: it's already this debilitating, I'm going to be in a

642
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 2: walking frame. But then he moved up, as you know,

643
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 2: as the uterus kind of moves up, he moved off

644
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 2: that spot, and then it just disappeared for quite a

645
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 2: few weeks, and then it kind of came back around

646
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 2: thirty two weeks and then stayed and a couple of

647
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 2: people on social media were sort of like, oh, the

648
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 2: answer really is just delivered the baby. I was like, oh, great,

649
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 2: there's no solution, it's just deal with it. Welcome to

650
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,719
Speaker 2: the challenges of me. Yeah, literally had they.

651
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 3: But there were some things that you were doing that

652
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 3: were relieve giving you relief, and that Sarah was doing

653
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 3: for you absolutely.

654
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 2: And I think before I did get quiet because you're

655
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 2: not supposed to do much in the first trimester, and

656
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 2: then in the second I felt really good. I wasn't

657
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 2: doing anything supplementary, I wasn't kind of getting massages. I stopped,

658
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 2: you know, getting doing anything for self care or physical

659
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 2: maintenance other than walks and a bit of pilates because

660
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 2: I was really gun shy from I think the first time,

661
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 2: and then I as I gradually eased back, I just

662
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 2: was like, there's a spectrum of discomfort, and I sort

663
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 2: of thought that I was sitting where it was inevitable

664
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 2: and I just had to deal with it until I delivered.

665
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 2: But I realized there's so much you can do to

666
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,959
Speaker 2: minimize it. Like you might not get to the third time,

667
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 2: MAS is pretty uncomfortable. You're probably not going to feel

668
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 2: nothing will really get you to not having a gigantic

669
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 2: bump in the way of your sleep and everything you do.

670
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 2: But there's a lot you can do to kind of

671
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 2: make it less intrusive or less intense. And once I

672
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 2: got onto that, I was like, oh my god, well

673
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 2: I haven't I've been doing this the whole time. There's

674
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 2: so much you can do to support your body that

675
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 2: you can't do on assisted either, Like a lot of

676
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 2: the stretches your bumps in the way like you do

677
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 2: need the osteo would just move my body in ways

678
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 2: there's no way I could do by myself. And it was, yeah, incredible.

679
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 3: At what point did they start talking about the positioning

680
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 3: of Teddy and did you start to kind of be

681
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 3: aware of that?

682
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, so think it wasn't until the third trimester that

683
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 2: they really started to notice or even mention it in scans,

684
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 2: Like most of the time as a baby, they're kind

685
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 2: of in the same shape in all the aftrasounds, but

686
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 2: it doesn't really matter because they move around so much.

687
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 2: So sometimes I'd go in for a scan and he'd

688
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 2: be upside down, and then sometimes he'd be lying on

689
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 2: his back, and then he'd be left and right, and

690
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 2: you didn't really take notice until sort of in the

691
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 2: I think it was maybe a couple of weeks into

692
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 2: the third trimester they were like, oh, okay, he's in

693
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 2: the same position every time, like he's sort of just

694
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,840
Speaker 2: lying on his back and having a great time, and

695
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 2: his head's up pretty high and his feeded down really low.

696
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:51,360
Speaker 2: And I started to I think maybe around thirty five,

697
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 2: I started to get really really uncomfortable in the bladder,

698
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 2: like I needed to pee all the way through the pregnancy.

699
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 2: But it became like I really have a yeah, like

700
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 2: a small capacity, and yeah, the OB and the team

701
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 2: was sort of like, ah, his head's still not turning

702
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,840
Speaker 2: to sort of where we want it to be, but

703
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:15,359
Speaker 2: that's okay. We've still got quite a lot of time.

704
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 2: A lot of babies turn right at the last minute.

705
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 2: There's also a lot of things you can do, so

706
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,839
Speaker 2: around thirty five weeks I started doing There's a site

707
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 2: called Spinning Babies that has a lot of protocols of

708
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,799
Speaker 2: how you can help encourage your baby to turn, like

709
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 2: swimming in water and doing handstands and then doing inversions.

710
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 2: There's a lot of like yoga posas you can do,

711
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 2: or you can lean over the side of the couch

712
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 2: and kind of do a headstand, and you can do

713
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 2: mox sebustion, which is a traditional Chinese medicine incense that

714
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 2: you hold against your little toe. It sounds so weird,

715
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,799
Speaker 2: but we did it. Try everything at that point, yeah, right,

716
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 2: like so much anecdotal evidence. Even the ob suggested it,

717
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 2: and she's not particularly woo woo, so we were like, look,

718
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 2: let's throw everything at this and we did that every

719
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 2: day for weeks. He still wasn't turning, and then I

720
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 2: think we got to thirty seven. Yeah, we got to

721
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 2: thirty seven weeks and he still had not turned around.

722
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 2: And there's a procedure you can do called an ECV

723
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 2: where you can manually turn the baby that ob can

724
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 2: like physically give you, like quite an intense massage and

725
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 2: try and turn the baby. But by then Teddy had

726
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:28,800
Speaker 2: been tracking large and he had really stuck his feet

727
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: down into the pelvis, so there was not really we'd

728
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 2: kind of missed the boat to even try that procedure,

729
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 2: which means that he was breach unless he spontaneously turned,

730
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 2: which given how far down in the pelvis he was,

731
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 2: was very unlikely. So at that point we considered the

732
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 2: possibility of a cesarean, because no one is going to

733
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 2: give you the chance to birth naturally if he's still

734
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,439
Speaker 2: breach at the time of delivery. It's just I don't

735
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 2: think there are any hospitals that would go ahead with

736
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 2: a natural vaginal birth that.

737
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 3: Way because of the footling breach presentation Jimmy, because his

738
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,120
Speaker 3: feet were right there.

739
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, and because I was so far down, I think

740
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 2: they were just like it's firstly, it's very unlikely that

741
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,720
Speaker 2: he would have enough room to turn by now by himself.

742
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 2: But even if he didn't, they wouldn't let a vaginal

743
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 2: birth go ahead because it would just present in too

744
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 2: many cases, it presents too many complications and then often

745
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 2: you end up with this cesarian anyway. So they sort

746
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 2: of were like, I think this is the timer we

747
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 2: introduce the possibility that you'll probably have to book a cesarean.

748
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 2: And I definitely had that moment of disappointment, knowing in

749
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,360
Speaker 2: advance that I might not be able to experience a

750
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,399
Speaker 2: natural labor and I don't even I couldn't even articulate why.

751
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 2: I was like, is it because there's stigma? Is it

752
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,240
Speaker 2: because I think that it's more womanly to go through?

753
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 2: Like I couldn't really explain why, but I just felt

754
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,399
Speaker 2: disappointed that I wouldn't be able to experience and see

755
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 2: if I could do it. I think that was part

756
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 2: of it, Like I'd been up so up for the

757
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,359
Speaker 2: challenge and doing so much preparation and thought, oh is that?

758
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 2: Like is that a cop is that? And also you

759
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,840
Speaker 2: know everything you hear about bacteria in the vaginal canal

760
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 2: and like all the congestion that they get, Like I

761
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 2: was like, oh no, is this just like not the

762
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:12,760
Speaker 2: right way for him to enter the world. And myb

763
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 2: was amazing. She was very much like, at the end

764
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 2: of the day, you want a safe delivery of your baby,

765
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 2: and no one has chosen the way that he has

766
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 2: positioned except him, So he has done the math and

767
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 2: he's worked out that he's not going to come in.

768
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 2: His head was really big as well. She was like,

769
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 2: he's done the math that he's not going to make

770
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 2: it out that whole, and so he's quite comfortable where

771
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 2: he is and we just want him out safely, and

772
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 2: that's all anyone wants. So whatever, you know, this is

773
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 2: just he's chosen and you just have to go with it.

774
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,759
Speaker 2: And it was a really good exercise in surrender of

775
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 2: in preparation for labor, where you have to surrender completely anyway,

776
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 2: it was just a very good, gentle introduction to the

777
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 2: idea that you have no control really and you just

778
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 2: have to go with what your baby has decided is

779
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 2: how he wants to enter this world. So we booked

780
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 2: for thirty nine weeks, and I think they do that

781
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,240
Speaker 2: so that there's a less chance you'll go into labor

782
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 2: before that. So they bring it forward a week and

783
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 2: then said left it open that you know he might

784
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 2: turn and if he does, amazing, we'll leave it and

785
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,439
Speaker 2: give you the chance to do a natural vaginal birth.

786
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 2: But it's unlikely. So went home, had a couple of

787
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 2: days of getting my head around it and kind of

788
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 2: let go of the disappointment as well and just embrace, like, Okay,

789
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 2: whatever happens happens, and I'm in the safest hands no

790
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 2: matter what, and I will trust my bee. From the

791
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 2: minute I met her, I was like, our risk thresholds

792
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 2: are the same, and I just trust you'll make the

793
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 2: decision that I will never not be happy with in

794
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 2: the end. And then I had Sarah as the dueler,

795
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 2: also informing kind of the process, and then the ostio

796
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 2: Kadi was also a midwife at Cabrini, Like, there were

797
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 2: so many people like a consulting the team who got

798
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 2: me on board and yeah, So by then we changed

799
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 2: to weekly appointments. We got to thirty eight weeks and

800
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 2: this was the big appointment where we were going to

801
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 2: go through what it meant. He was still breached, so

802
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 2: we were going to go through the appointment and figure

803
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 2: out what the plan was for the C section and

804
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:12,359
Speaker 2: what it would look like. And I had this list

805
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 2: of questions and I got ready for what it was

806
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 2: going to be. Like we drove to Cabrini. I didn't

807
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 2: have a bra on, I didn't take my bag, I

808
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 2: didn't take anything because I was like, oh, we're just

809
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,240
Speaker 2: going for half an hour and it's around the corner.

810
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 2: I was quite large by this point. I'd done that

811
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,240
Speaker 2: sort of ten days straight of work on my feet.

812
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 2: I was pretty uncomfortable. So he dropped me off at

813
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 2: the lift so I wouldn't have to walk up the

814
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 2: ramp and drove away to park the car and I

815
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 2: ran after him like waving, and he was like, what's wrong?

816
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 2: And I was like, my water just broke everywhere. And

817
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 2: my water broke at the hospital on thirty eight weeks

818
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 2: on the dot, everyone had said like, it doesn't happen

819
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:54,520
Speaker 2: like a doesn't the movies. It's not a big gush

820
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 2: of water, It's just a little leak. It was a

821
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 2: massive gush for me, like it was all over me,

822
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,959
Speaker 2: you hear it. It just hurt. It went through the pad.

823
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 2: My shorts were like a light colored linen drenched, like

824
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 2: literally dripping everywhere. There was this big like from me

825
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,799
Speaker 2: running after Nick, there was like this big like look

826
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 2: someone ever had a hose that was just following me.

827
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 2: And it kept going. So then I ran back to

828
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 2: hide behind a car so that it could just keep

829
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 2: coming out. And he's like, oh my god, Okay, oh

830
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 2: my god. So he just like abandoned the car in

831
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 2: the closest spot, which I don't even think was like

832
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 2: a normal car park. And then we called Yeah, we

833
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 2: called Danielle Mayo Be and said, we're on the way

834
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 2: to you at your office, but should we just go

835
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 2: straight to the birthings week because my waters are broken?

836
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 2: And she said yes, I will meet you there. Oh. Wild.

837
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 2: So I walked all the way through Coberini leaking, just

838
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 2: like trying to hold it in, and was like, that's

839
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 2: all right, I'm sure they've seen it. Yeah. They were like,

840
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,400
Speaker 2: I don't worry. You're not the first person who has

841
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 2: bodily fluids coming out. And we went straight to the

842
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,839
Speaker 2: birth suite and I never went home. Wow.

843
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,240
Speaker 3: Was there a little bit of a sense of panic

844
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,360
Speaker 3: then or was it sort of controlled because they obviously

845
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 3: didn't really want you to go into labor. They didn't

846
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 3: want the contractions to really ramp up because they didn't

847
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 3: want him to birth that way. Did you feel like rush, rush,

848
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 3: rush then? Or were they like, no, no, it's fine,

849
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 3: it's your waters. And you hadn't probably had a contraction

850
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 3: or a pain at that point, had you no?

851
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 2: So I had no idea it was coming like I

852
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 2: hadn't felt different sort of in the date, like, I

853
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 2: didn't have any signs of contractions or pain or anything

854
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 2: like that, so I was very unprepared. It was a

855
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,360
Speaker 2: big shock when it happened. We didn't even have the

856
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 2: hospital bag in the car. We just weren't because we

857
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 2: booked it. We had this date. We had the thirty

858
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 2: nine weeks was the date it was coming. And the

859
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 2: whole silver lining of a cesarean was that you had

860
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 2: the certainty of a date. So I put every this

861
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 2: date and ignored the fact that it could, of course

862
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 2: happen earlier. But I had gone into labor and I

863
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 2: had contract so I started to have contractions, but they

864
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,879
Speaker 2: weren't getting really close together that quickly, so they sort

865
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 2: of I knew we had a bit of time. Unfortunately,

866
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 2: I had just eaten and you're supposed to fast as

867
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,799
Speaker 2: well before the surgery, So I think because of that

868
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 2: and scheduling and getting the pediatrician in on time and

869
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 2: getting the team together, I think they ended up deciding

870
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 2: that I could wait five or six hours, So we

871
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 2: scheduled it for five or six hours time, and in

872
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 2: that time I got my head around it, if that

873
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 2: makes sense. So I was extremely shocked, but then I

874
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 2: had time to let it all. I didn't go straight

875
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:33,480
Speaker 2: into theater, which I think would have totally freaked me out.

876
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,160
Speaker 2: I had time to sort of realize I was in

877
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:39,320
Speaker 2: the birthing suite. But also what was really beautiful about

878
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 2: it is I got to experience both without it being traumatic.

879
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 2: And I think some people do get quite far into

880
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 2: natural labor they tear and then they have to have

881
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 2: a cesarian and then it's kind of like, well, I

882
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 2: got the shit bits of both. I kind of got

883
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:56,000
Speaker 2: the nice bits of both. I got to know what

884
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 2: a contraction feels like. I got to know that. Also

885
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: Teddy was getting them massage that a contraction gives to

886
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,520
Speaker 2: the baby. They wanted him to have a little bit

887
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 2: of that if they weren't getting too close together, and

888
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 2: that was really good for him and good for my body.

889
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:11,800
Speaker 2: And by the five hours they were getting a bit spicy,

890
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 2: and I was like, Okay, this is good. I know

891
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 2: what this is like, and I know that my body

892
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:20,719
Speaker 2: did this naturally, so I know the date wasn't also artificial,

893
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 2: like we let nature kind of do its thing and

894
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 2: he was ready to come out. Yeah, and then we

895
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,719
Speaker 2: went into theater and again the weirdest thing in this

896
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:34,479
Speaker 2: whole world universe thing. My mum had just been going

897
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 2: through breast cancer treatment, which was very unexpected, and it

898
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 2: happened in my third trimester and she was in one

899
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,919
Speaker 2: of her very last radiation. It all went as well

900
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 2: as could be expected. She had surgery really quickly and

901
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 2: they got most of it, caught it really early, and

902
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 2: then she had to do fifteen days of radiation and

903
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,719
Speaker 2: I think it was like day fourteen. She was very

904
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:55,919
Speaker 2: close to the end and we called her to say

905
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 2: my waters had broken and she said, I'm also on

906
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 2: level too at Kabrini in the hospital and said, I'm

907
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,800
Speaker 2: on the same level. I'm just in a different building.

908
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:08,319
Speaker 2: I'll come and meet you, and Rob said, I am

909
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 2: also obviously, will go into an appointment with her. She said,

910
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:14,840
Speaker 2: I'm also here. I'm going on my wedding anniversary holiday

911
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 2: at four am in the morning. So he got me

912
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 2: just on time. And then wow, the person who I

913
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 2: had booked for recovery was Katie my Osteo, who is

914
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 2: never on a Thursday night, and she happened to be

915
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:29,239
Speaker 2: the person who I went straight into recovery with. So

916
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 2: it was just like Teddy knew. He's like everyone's in

917
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 2: the building. Yeah, let's just do it tonight. I'll just

918
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 2: do it now you're coming. Yeah, I'm ready. I just

919
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 2: don't want to miss out on the fun.

920
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,839
Speaker 3: Did Nick grace home in between if he had those

921
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,720
Speaker 3: five hours, did he go home and get your stuff?

922
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: Yes?

923
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, So they told him like, nothing is going to

924
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 2: ramp up. They monitored me for an hour and they're like,

925
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 2: it's not going quickly enough to worry. Go and get

926
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:53,959
Speaker 2: your stuff. I mean he's spared home. He was there

927
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 2: and back too quickly to have been going under the

928
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,799
Speaker 2: speed limit. But yeah, he went and got everything, came

929
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:03,240
Speaker 2: back and mum was there as well, and they spent

930
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,400
Speaker 2: that sort of five hours with me. Yeah, and then

931
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 2: we went in and it sort of was so weird

932
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 2: to know. I think the thing with the C section

933
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 2: that was weird for me is they're like, yeah, he'll

934
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:16,439
Speaker 2: literally be out in ten minutes. I was like, what

935
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 2: what what do you Yeah, and they're like, yeah, a

936
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 2: lot of it's the prep for the anesthetic, but then

937
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,919
Speaker 2: once they kind of open you up, he just comes out.

938
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I'm going to be a mom in

939
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 2: like ten minutes. What do you mean it was so weird?

940
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,360
Speaker 2: Did you call Sarah? Sarah wasn't just happened to be

941
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: in the hallways as well? Did you call her? Imagined

942
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:39,799
Speaker 2: that would have just been weird. Yeah, I called her

943
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 2: straight away and she came in, so she was there

944
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 2: for that whole lead up as well, and then talking

945
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:47,440
Speaker 2: through ways, and it was really beautiful. It was by

946
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,239
Speaker 2: then embrace the idea of a cesarean and that it

947
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 2: could still be made as beautiful. It is still the

948
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 2: moment you become a parent. It is still the first

949
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 2: time you see your baby. I was still with the

950
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 2: amazing team that I thought I would be with. There

951
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 2: are ways to make it not feel like a kind

952
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 2: of sterile, scheduled thing, and it obviously wasn't scheduled for me.

953
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 2: It was still a surprise, So there was that element

954
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 2: as well. And you know, Myobe's amazing. She always has

955
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,399
Speaker 2: rainbow scrubs or like under the CEA theme or something.

956
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 2: And she walked in and the first time she walked in,

957
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 2: she had gum boots on and she brought in this

958
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 2: neon pink sign that said you are amazing, and just

959
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 2: had that as the light like turn off all the lights.

960
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 2: This was in that five hours, so she was like,

961
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 2: we're gonna make this amazing. It's going to be absolutely lovely.

962
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 2: She took the sign with it. She borrowed it from

963
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 2: another patient who had finished using it, and I can't

964
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 2: just take this, and then she brought it from that

965
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 2: room into the operating theater, so it was there, and

966
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 2: I think, you know, I do know women have come

967
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 2: away from Cesarian's feeling disappointed, and I had enough time

968
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,359
Speaker 2: and enough amazing people that it didn't feel that way.

969
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 2: It was still magical. It was still like unbecoming a

970
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 2: mum right now.

971
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 3: And I think the common thread all in all the

972
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 3: research is having that continuity and having a support team

973
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 3: which you'd handpicked and the universe had sent to you

974
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 3: at the right time. But you had that so you

975
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 3: didn't have to Everybody knew you, so they knew how

976
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,320
Speaker 3: to support you, and they knew you kind of wishes

977
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:18,479
Speaker 3: and what you guys would want.

978
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 2: So, yeah, sounds so nice. Was he crying when he

979
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:26,359
Speaker 2: came out? Yeah? So he's such a sweet little boy.

980
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:29,520
Speaker 2: He's got such a lovely temperament, and that started from

981
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 2: the start. So I was worried because he didn't really cry.

982
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 2: He sort of just did one big cry. He just

983
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 2: went ah, and like it was the first noise I heard,

984
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 2: and I just remember I got goosebumps, like I knew

985
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 2: that it was coming, and I knew he was coming out,

986
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 2: but just to hear the noise and independent noise that

987
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 2: he was alive, it just I cut I still, like,

988
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 2: I don't know how to explain it. But then he

989
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:54,319
Speaker 2: didn't keep crying, so then I sort of freaked out,

990
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 2: like why isn't he crying? But what had happened is

991
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:01,359
Speaker 2: I was contracting and they had to pull him out

992
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,799
Speaker 2: in between contractions, which had become quite strong by then,

993
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:07,880
Speaker 2: So instead of just opening me and pulling him out,

994
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 2: they opened and then had to pull in between. So

995
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 2: they pulled one leg and then apparently they pulled the

996
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 2: other leg. Then they had to wait to pull his

997
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 2: head out, and he did the little cry and then

998
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 2: it pulled him back in. So yeah, so they were like,

999
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 2: oh no, oh my god. So then when they got it,

1000
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 2: so they got him out, he did the one scream,

1001
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 2: he went back in, and then they got him out

1002
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:32,719
Speaker 2: and were pulling quite hard, and I didn't know. I

1003
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,399
Speaker 2: knew that you wouldn't feel pain. I didn't know you'd

1004
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 2: feel so much pulling, which was so weird, like my

1005
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 2: shoulders were moving around. And Nick was just like, oh

1006
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 2: my god, what's going on. I was like, I don't know,

1007
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:47,120
Speaker 2: it's so strange. We had the curtain down until they

1008
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 2: sort of pulled him out and put him on my chest,

1009
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 2: and it was so beautiful. His eyes are wide open,

1010
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:55,960
Speaker 2: but he wasn't breathing very well, and he was starting

1011
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 2: to go a little purple and wasn't crying, and I

1012
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 2: think it was because he had air, got used to

1013
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 2: the universe and then went back in and then was like,

1014
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 2: oh my god, how do I breathe? So then they

1015
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:10,319
Speaker 2: had to take him away to the like only to

1016
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,799
Speaker 2: the sort of resuscitation table, put a little tiny little

1017
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:16,800
Speaker 2: oxygen mask on him, but straight away he went pink.

1018
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 2: So he was getting air and I was getting live

1019
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:21,760
Speaker 2: updates and they were reassuring me a lot like he's okay,

1020
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,359
Speaker 2: and Nick had gone straight over with him, and then

1021
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:27,359
Speaker 2: he came back pretty much five to ten minutes after that,

1022
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,400
Speaker 2: so I got skinned to skin straight after that, and yeah,

1023
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 2: it was just I still can't believe it happened. It

1024
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,280
Speaker 2: still seemed so surreal, and then you get that time

1025
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 2: with them on you while they stitch you back up

1026
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 2: because of course you've just undergone major adominal surgery. And

1027
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 2: then I had to go to recovery, which was one

1028
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 2: thing I was worried about at the time that I

1029
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,399
Speaker 2: had to go for half an hour while they took

1030
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,439
Speaker 2: all my vitals and they Teddy went somewhere else, which

1031
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 2: I was sort of like, no, but Nick went with

1032
00:50:56,120 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 2: him and they had this incredible bonding time together where

1033
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 2: Nick had him like skinner skin for that whole half

1034
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 2: an hour and he got weighed. They kind of put

1035
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 2: his first nappy on, Nick did his first nappy change.

1036
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 2: They sort of like, here, here's this newborn. And I've

1037
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 2: had a lot of experience with babies, Nick has had none,

1038
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 2: and he was just like, what do I do? But

1039
00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 2: by the time I got back to the room, he

1040
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 2: just become a dad. Like in that half an hour.

1041
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,919
Speaker 2: It was bizarre. It's almost like you fall in love

1042
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 2: with your partner again because you're like, that's what we

1043
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,120
Speaker 2: made and is it interesting?

1044
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 3: Because you're adopted, he's your first biological link that you

1045
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 3: are connected with and know, and he looks obviously.

1046
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 2: Very Asian and a lot like you.

1047
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 3: And I know Nick's got some Asian heritage as well,

1048
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 3: but was there something quite special about seeing that and

1049
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:46,440
Speaker 3: seeing that he looked like you.

1050
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, it only hit me. I think halfway through the

1051
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 2: pregnancy that he would be my first blood relative. Like

1052
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:53,840
Speaker 2: I just forget. I think one of the most beautiful

1053
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,800
Speaker 2: things about our adoption is we forget all the time.

1054
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:59,440
Speaker 2: And even though we're very Asian looking at it, my

1055
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 2: mum's extremely Caucasian.

1056
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 3: It's just shore not us that too about gluten intolerance,

1057
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you guys aren't biologically LinkedIn.

1058
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 2: And they're like, oh yeah, I didn't eat pork so

1059
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,960
Speaker 2: my whole life until I was in my late twenties

1060
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 2: because I thought I inherited it from my mom. Like

1061
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:20,200
Speaker 2: it's beautiful, how easily how connected you are. Yeah, And interestingly,

1062
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 2: people when we're out and about they always say like

1063
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 2: you and your mum, like they know from our body language,

1064
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 2: or people assume that I'm half and my dad's Asian.

1065
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:33,040
Speaker 2: It's really interesting how easily you can forget that, and

1066
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 2: how I'm always believe because of that that, you know,

1067
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people think blood is thicker

1068
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 2: than water, but I've just thought love is thicker than anything,

1069
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,839
Speaker 2: like that's kind of the bond that we have. But

1070
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:46,960
Speaker 2: it did dawn on me a lot of things that

1071
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 2: were significant that have never been significant until pregnancy. For example,

1072
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:56,080
Speaker 2: that from now until Teddy being five months old, mom

1073
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 2: didn't see because she only got us at five months old,

1074
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 2: and so she's gone through the ultrasounds and the newborn

1075
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:05,479
Speaker 2: phase like everything is brand new for her as well,

1076
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 2: which is so magical to watch her go through it.

1077
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:10,400
Speaker 2: And then when he was born, it was like he

1078
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 2: looked like my brother weirdly, and we're not biologically related,

1079
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 2: but he had like his nose and I didn't see

1080
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 2: it sort of straight away because it was like a

1081
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:23,840
Speaker 2: little squishy newborn. But by about a week he was

1082
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 2: doing some things that I was like, you look like me.

1083
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,719
Speaker 2: And now more and more as his face develops, people

1084
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:32,759
Speaker 2: are saying like, he really looks like you, and I'm like,

1085
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 2: that's so cool. I've just never seen my features reflecting

1086
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 2: in somebody and it's so beautiful and weird and magical. Yeah.

1087
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 3: Ah, And I mean, primal always springs to mind, but

1088
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 3: it's just so kind of grounding birth and pregnancy and things.

1089
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:53,480
Speaker 3: Isn't it just the kind of connection there. We were

1090
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 3: chatting before we hit record about breastfeeding. Did you do

1091
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 3: much preparation in your pregnancy? I mean, seems like almost

1092
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:04,400
Speaker 3: a silly thing to say, because you can. I obviously

1093
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 3: support and definitely recommend people do learn about breastfeeding in pregnancy,

1094
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 3: but it's so different to actually doing it. Did you

1095
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:16,960
Speaker 3: do some It's so funny breastfeeding especially, like definitely is

1096
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 3: the case that you can't prepare for any of it

1097
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:24,640
Speaker 3: in theory, but the whole experience. I said to you

1098
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 3: before we started recording, I felt immediately like I had

1099
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:30,840
Speaker 3: to apologize to every parent I've ever interacted with about

1100
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 3: parenthood or their children, or people I've gone to the

1101
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,320
Speaker 3: hospital to visit while they're still in the hospital, or

1102
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:39,880
Speaker 3: I've gone to someone's house and not taken food or

1103
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:41,919
Speaker 3: tried to empty their dishwashot, like, I just have done

1104
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 3: things that are so useless in that time because you

1105
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 3: just cannot fathom. But then also everyone who has done

1106
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:52,040
Speaker 3: it before, you just suddenly connect with these people on

1107
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 3: this new level that you've never had with them before.

1108
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:58,040
Speaker 2: It's just so weird. It's like you've become another species

1109
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 2: or gone to another planet or something just bizarre. So yes,

1110
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 2: I had through Sarah, who is just such an amazing

1111
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:11,239
Speaker 2: fountain of knowledge and has an incredible network. We had

1112
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:14,399
Speaker 2: a lactation consultant come and do a session with us,

1113
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:18,239
Speaker 2: so she introduced basically the whole landscape at once, which

1114
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 2: was amazing because I just sort of thought, you put

1115
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:22,880
Speaker 2: them on your boob and it works or it doesn't,

1116
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 2: like either you can or you can't. And I was

1117
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 2: formula fed. So I think one of the things that

1118
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 2: helped me and Nick not be to cling you towards

1119
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:36,440
Speaker 2: certain outcomes or to judgmental of ourselves or other people

1120
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,239
Speaker 2: if you had a C section or a natural birth,

1121
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 2: or if you're formula fed or not. Is that with adoption,

1122
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:46,480
Speaker 2: like you kind of you've already accepted, you know, the

1123
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:51,719
Speaker 2: sort of most just different, yeah, different way pathway to parenthood.

1124
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:54,200
Speaker 2: And then we had to be formula fed. So I'm like,

1125
00:55:54,239 --> 00:55:56,279
Speaker 2: we turned out fart well, a bit weird, but we

1126
00:55:56,320 --> 00:56:00,760
Speaker 2: turned out pretty okay. So I haven't been too wedded

1127
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 2: to making something work at the expense of our health

1128
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 2: or at the expense of our mental health. At the

1129
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 2: same time, I think you can set yourself up really well,

1130
00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 2: and you have been such a pioneer in that that

1131
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:15,799
Speaker 2: being informed is all that matters, because then at least

1132
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 2: you give something a good go and you're not trying

1133
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 2: the wrong thing or not giving yourself a good chance.

1134
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 2: So we learned all about latching, and also I didn't

1135
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:30,840
Speaker 2: realize that even if you can breastfeed, it still hurts

1136
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:34,399
Speaker 2: like a bitch. Nipples have to get used to it.

1137
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 2: Even if you're going to end up not feeling it

1138
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 2: and being totally at ease, there's just this adjustment period

1139
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 2: that is hell. Hell the pain. I don't think I've

1140
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 2: ever been through something so painful as my nipples in

1141
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 2: that first two weeks, And that was even with a

1142
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 2: really good latch and with all the education behind us,

1143
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:56,279
Speaker 2: and that cabreeding were there for five nights and we

1144
00:56:56,360 --> 00:56:59,840
Speaker 2: had breastfeeding consultants coming in every day, and I still

1145
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,399
Speaker 2: was like cracked and bleeding and still having to put

1146
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:06,319
Speaker 2: him on the boob every time. Oh oh, I'm so

1147
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 2: glad that bit's done. But no one prepares you for

1148
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:09,800
Speaker 2: how much it hurts.

1149
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,120
Speaker 3: And a good point though, that you that you're through

1150
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:15,320
Speaker 3: it like it, you've kind of they've recovered.

1151
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 2: Yes, and people, and I just turned a corner one

1152
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,560
Speaker 2: day and I suddenly understood when everyone said, even if

1153
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:23,040
Speaker 2: it's going well, you still just have to get through

1154
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 2: that bit. And even if you've had a child before,

1155
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 2: even on your second child and third child, you have

1156
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 2: to go through it again to get your skin used

1157
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 2: to it. So don't give up. Don't push through to

1158
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:35,760
Speaker 2: the point of killing yourself, which I know some women

1159
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 2: do because there is a lot of stigma around formula,

1160
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 2: and even with some of the breastfeeding consultants, there are

1161
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 2: some old school views that get very pushed on you,

1162
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 2: and I think women have made to feel incredibly bad

1163
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:49,600
Speaker 2: if they can't breastfeed, which many can't, or if they

1164
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 2: need to supplement. I've been president of the Eaty Bitty

1165
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 2: Titty Committee my whole life. I've never had boobs, so

1166
00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 2: I had no faith that they could perform. And it's

1167
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 2: got nothing to do with size. It's got nothing to

1168
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:04,160
Speaker 2: do really with you doing anything. It's not your fault.

1169
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 2: It's I do not deserve. I have never had boobs

1170
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 2: or been a boob representative. I do not deserve to

1171
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:13,200
Speaker 2: breastfeed well, but for some reason, my milk came in

1172
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:16,880
Speaker 2: really easily, even after a sea section, So don't be

1173
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 2: hard on yourself. And I think I know women who

1174
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 2: have pushed themselves beyond to try and make it work,

1175
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 2: just because of the stigma attached to going to formula.

1176
00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 2: But at the same time, don't give up too early,

1177
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 2: because it's painful no matter what. So I kind of

1178
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,840
Speaker 2: feel like that's a weird message to give people, but.

1179
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, get through the first six weeks and then decide.

1180
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, And people would say just hang in there, And

1181
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:43,240
Speaker 2: I really remember at one point bawling my eyes out

1182
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 2: and someone saying that for them it was at four weeks,

1183
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 2: and for me, I was two weeks in and I

1184
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:51,440
Speaker 2: just thought, that's too long, Like two weeks. I need

1185
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 2: to hear that in two days I'll feel better. And

1186
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 2: I did end up in two days at least feeling

1187
00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:00,480
Speaker 2: incrementally better to see the light to keep going. But

1188
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 2: it just that felt like a million years.

1189
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 3: Had you set things up, I know you were reflecting on,

1190
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 3: oh God, I went to the hospital to see people

1191
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 3: and stuff. Had you set up expectations of how many

1192
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 3: people you wanted to come to the hospital or to home,

1193
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 3: or did you think we'll just see how we feel.

1194
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 2: We kind of have had and the same thing with work,

1195
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 2: we've kind of had to see how we feel approached

1196
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:26,600
Speaker 2: to most things. But at the same time, because I

1197
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:29,080
Speaker 2: know I'm really prone to getting over excited and also

1198
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 2: to having no clue before we went into it what

1199
00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 2: it would be like, or what we would feel like,

1200
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:35,960
Speaker 2: or what my recovery would be like. With the C

1201
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:40,960
Speaker 2: section as well, we gave ourselves a bubble and then

1202
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:44,080
Speaker 2: allowed it to be flexible, if that made sense. So

1203
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:46,840
Speaker 2: before pregnancy, I wasn't very good at setting up bubbles

1204
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 2: to protect myself, but I thought, because I just don't

1205
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,400
Speaker 2: know what this is going to be like, we pretty

1206
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:57,280
Speaker 2: much set up like six weeks of nothing, no appointments

1207
00:59:57,280 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 2: like Nick has work but he works from home, of

1208
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 2: set up no physical meetings or anything. I have no

1209
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 2: work commitments or nothing that I had to be ready for.

1210
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 2: And then we also set up like no booked visits

1211
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:13,040
Speaker 2: before that time, so as soon as we felt ready,

1212
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:14,800
Speaker 2: we could, but we didn't sort of say to anyone

1213
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 2: or set up the expectation come over on this week

1214
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:20,680
Speaker 2: or And it worked really well that he arrived early

1215
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 2: because we also didn't tell anyone that he had arrived

1216
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 2: until our second last night in the hospital, So we

1217
01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 2: created an extra bubble of five days to just be

1218
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 2: in it together and be in the chaos and not

1219
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:36,760
Speaker 2: want to be on my phone, Whereas I knew if

1220
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,479
Speaker 2: I'd announced it, then we'd have messages from loved ones

1221
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:41,840
Speaker 2: and I'd want to respond to share in the joy.

1222
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:46,560
Speaker 2: So we just told our parents and our siblings and

1223
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:48,640
Speaker 2: my aunties who were really close to when they came

1224
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:52,280
Speaker 2: to the hospital. But then by the time we announced,

1225
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 2: no one could kind of come because we were leaving

1226
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:56,600
Speaker 2: the next day. And then when we got home, we

1227
01:00:56,680 --> 01:01:00,480
Speaker 2: didn't invite or encourage any visits until because I just

1228
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 2: did not feel like I could. I don't even remember

1229
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:06,240
Speaker 2: that time, yep. And then once it started to feel

1230
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:09,959
Speaker 2: like we could cope with that, we just had one

1231
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 2: every sort of like I think we started with one

1232
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:15,720
Speaker 2: in the first week and then it was like five

1233
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:18,080
Speaker 2: days until the next one because that was just like whoa,

1234
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:21,600
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm so tired. And now we've started

1235
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:24,560
Speaker 2: to have, you know, one every two days, and it's

1236
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 2: just a short one, and people have been so respectful.

1237
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:29,760
Speaker 2: And most of our friends have had kids, so they

1238
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:34,520
Speaker 2: also understand they've all brought home cooked food, which I

1239
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 2: just cannot express my gratitude for our loved ones. They

1240
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:41,360
Speaker 2: have been so in tune and so incredible. Some of

1241
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:43,720
Speaker 2: them have even done the dishwasher like and they all

1242
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:46,640
Speaker 2: also know that your social battery runs out really quickly

1243
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:49,480
Speaker 2: as well. Yeah, I don't know to stay. Yeah, everyone's

1244
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:51,320
Speaker 2: just been amazing.

1245
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:53,760
Speaker 3: I just realized when we talked about food too, we've

1246
01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:56,000
Speaker 3: totally glossed over and we probably don't have time. I'm

1247
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 3: not sure, but we didn't talk about your destinational diabetes.

1248
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:01,040
Speaker 3: But were you like so excited to be able to

1249
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 3: eat again, like all the things you want to eat.

1250
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 2: It's so funny. I was so stoic about it when

1251
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:09,560
Speaker 2: it happened, and I remember being and I've shared this

1252
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 2: a lot on socials with other women who have had

1253
01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 2: their diagnosis. I remember being again, there's a lot of

1254
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 2: stiamer around it. People like, but you're fit and healthy,

1255
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:21,360
Speaker 2: and I'm like, that's not you didn't do this, not

1256
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:23,600
Speaker 2: to do with that at all. It's just your hormones

1257
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:26,400
Speaker 2: and your genetics, and you know you can't do anything

1258
01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:29,600
Speaker 2: about it. So there was that overcoming that, and then

1259
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,600
Speaker 2: there was overcoming the fact that you're so exhausted and

1260
01:02:31,640 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 2: uncomfortable in your third trimester that the admin of having

1261
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:38,160
Speaker 2: to learn a new thing was just so exhausting and

1262
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:41,080
Speaker 2: you just you barely can figure out what to eat anyway,

1263
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 2: And I felt sick towards the end. Blood test, Yeah,

1264
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 2: four times a day. I didn't ever need insulin, but

1265
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:49,760
Speaker 2: that also meant I kind of had to be stricter

1266
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:53,120
Speaker 2: with food. So I just was like, oh, another thing,

1267
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:56,040
Speaker 2: and you're already tired. But in the end, I really

1268
01:02:56,040 --> 01:03:00,200
Speaker 2: saw the silver lining in how nourished I was. By

1269
01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:02,880
Speaker 2: the end, I felt really strong and healthy, whereas I'd

1270
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:06,760
Speaker 2: been really leaning into I'm pregnant, I can just like

1271
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 2: eat whatever which you can, but I was getting especially

1272
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:15,000
Speaker 2: lazy now that uber eats exists for pregnant women. So

1273
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:20,520
Speaker 2: it was I felt really healthy going into birth. And

1274
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 2: I think you also adjust to it very quickly, so

1275
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:27,120
Speaker 2: that testing became second nature. It wasn't a drainer or anything.

1276
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:30,320
Speaker 2: It taught me a lot about energy management and nourishing

1277
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:34,960
Speaker 2: yourself generally. But even with that, all that like positivity.

1278
01:03:35,360 --> 01:03:37,960
Speaker 2: The day that he was born and the next meal,

1279
01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:40,560
Speaker 2: they were like, well, the main impact is on him

1280
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:42,320
Speaker 2: and he's out of you. So my first meal that

1281
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:45,200
Speaker 2: was delivered was just normal food with bread. I was like,

1282
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 2: oh my god, I can eat bread whenever I wanted.

1283
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:53,000
Speaker 2: I don't have to worry about it. It was bliss.

1284
01:03:53,320 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it was amazing. Just do not have

1285
01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:58,400
Speaker 2: to think before you eat.

1286
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:02,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally, you could like cover load for your breastfeeding.

1287
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:05,960
Speaker 3: How has your incision healed?

1288
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:10,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, really well, really well. I think one of the

1289
01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:12,919
Speaker 2: hardest things about and that I was worried about before

1290
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:15,439
Speaker 2: the C section was that I knew in that first week,

1291
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 2: Like I'm sure natural vaginal births you don't feel one

1292
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:23,520
Speaker 2: hundred percent physically straight away either, but I was worried

1293
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:25,840
Speaker 2: that you can't even sort of stand for the first

1294
01:04:26,040 --> 01:04:28,720
Speaker 2: day because you know, the drugs take like twenty four

1295
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:31,000
Speaker 2: hours to wear off, and then you do have a

1296
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:34,560
Speaker 2: huge incision where they've moved all your organs around. You

1297
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:37,200
Speaker 2: are in quite a bit of pain for that first

1298
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 2: two weeks. Definitely the first week, and you're a bit

1299
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:44,520
Speaker 2: hesitant around your physical movements, but you're also trying to

1300
01:04:44,560 --> 01:04:46,720
Speaker 2: lift your baby and learn to change nappies and do

1301
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:50,640
Speaker 2: everything one handed. And I don't really take Panatoll very often,

1302
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:52,480
Speaker 2: so I was sort of like, oh, I don't really

1303
01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:55,640
Speaker 2: want to take too many meds, but I just took

1304
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:57,600
Speaker 2: a lot of them. I just did what I needed

1305
01:04:57,680 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 2: to get through, and all the instructions I use the compression.

1306
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:05,400
Speaker 2: When they told me to wear the compression, I was

1307
01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:07,800
Speaker 2: horizontal as much as I could be. In between. Nick

1308
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:10,280
Speaker 2: was amazing. You really need to lean on your partner

1309
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:12,960
Speaker 2: to do to minimize the times that you're getting up

1310
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:14,480
Speaker 2: and down as much as you can. And we have

1311
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:17,120
Speaker 2: stairs at home, so when I first got home, he

1312
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:19,480
Speaker 2: would up and down, up and down, like unless I

1313
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 2: really needed to go down. We try and make sure

1314
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:26,040
Speaker 2: I was not getting up too much. And it's nearly

1315
01:05:26,080 --> 01:05:30,520
Speaker 2: four weeks out and I almost can't feel it, which

1316
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:34,600
Speaker 2: is quicker than I expected. Yeah, amazing. Yeah, but it

1317
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 2: does feel very intrusive at the stuff.

1318
01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:39,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you felt fine about physically touching and

1319
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:40,520
Speaker 3: massaging the scar.

1320
01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:44,640
Speaker 2: Only in the last week, I've had this like a

1321
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:48,160
Speaker 2: second skin, like a really intense dressing on it, which

1322
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:52,320
Speaker 2: I don't have to take off until the six week appointment.

1323
01:05:52,360 --> 01:05:54,400
Speaker 2: And it's so far it's lasted really well, so that's

1324
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:56,480
Speaker 2: allowed it to just be protected. You can shower, you

1325
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 2: don't even have to think about it. It's waterproof. But

1326
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:03,480
Speaker 2: it was very, very tender until and I had quite

1327
01:06:03,480 --> 01:06:06,320
Speaker 2: a bit of swelling above it with all the just

1328
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:10,080
Speaker 2: liquid that's going through your body. And then I actually

1329
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:13,920
Speaker 2: had no water attention or puffiness during pregnancy and in

1330
01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:17,000
Speaker 2: the week immediately after, but once I got home, suddenly

1331
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:19,640
Speaker 2: my lymphatic system just couldn't deal and I got really

1332
01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:22,760
Speaker 2: puffy and needed to wear compression socks, and then the

1333
01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:25,880
Speaker 2: wound got really puffy and was still quite sore. But

1334
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:29,040
Speaker 2: I would say around the three week mark it became

1335
01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:32,360
Speaker 2: I'm not avoiding it. I was avoiding it, like really

1336
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:35,680
Speaker 2: actively avoiding that area. It wasn't as sore to move around,

1337
01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:38,600
Speaker 2: but to touch it was sore. And now I am

1338
01:06:38,680 --> 01:06:41,440
Speaker 2: using oil to sort of just gently massage the area

1339
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:43,880
Speaker 2: and it does remove a lot of the swelling to

1340
01:06:44,080 --> 01:06:46,880
Speaker 2: kind of give it that massage, And I'm sure once

1341
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:50,240
Speaker 2: the dressing comes off, I'll try and do a lot

1342
01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:53,000
Speaker 2: of scar management as well in that area. But it's

1343
01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:55,880
Speaker 2: been a lot quicker than I thought, and the swelling

1344
01:06:55,880 --> 01:06:58,200
Speaker 2: has gone down a lot with the massage. Yeah, it's

1345
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:00,360
Speaker 2: actually just the body is amazing.

1346
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:02,480
Speaker 3: And he is ridiculously cute. And I know I've got

1347
01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:04,080
Speaker 3: three of my own kids, but he's right up there.

1348
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:04,840
Speaker 2: He's so cute.

1349
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:08,120
Speaker 3: Do you find I know, Johnah and I are fighting

1350
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:10,439
Speaker 3: with the first there's a little bit of like it's

1351
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:11,120
Speaker 3: my tent to hold me.

1352
01:07:11,200 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 2: Now, do you have a little bit of my whole family?

1353
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:16,000
Speaker 2: Like my mum comes over and she's like, I don't

1354
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:18,520
Speaker 2: wonder why you shouldn't away you wake a sleeping baby,

1355
01:07:18,520 --> 01:07:19,800
Speaker 2: but can you wake him up? Because I really want

1356
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:22,040
Speaker 2: to cuddle him, Like I don't want to interrupt your system,

1357
01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:25,960
Speaker 2: but I kind of do. We just love him so much,

1358
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:28,160
Speaker 2: and yeah, I definitely I think we're all so biased.

1359
01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:32,160
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I'm like, he's objectively really beautiful.

1360
01:07:32,560 --> 01:07:35,480
Speaker 2: He really is. He's a really cute baby.

1361
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:37,800
Speaker 3: But he's gifted and talented and all the things. So

1362
01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 3: he's so advanced.

1363
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:42,960
Speaker 2: He's definitely going in an accelerated program. He's next break.

1364
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:45,680
Speaker 2: He's doing tummy time and he's holding his neck up.

1365
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:48,840
Speaker 2: I did not expect that. I thought that'd be so wobbly.

1366
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:53,080
Speaker 2: He's really strong. But I think also because he didn't

1367
01:07:53,080 --> 01:07:55,200
Speaker 2: go through the birth canal, and we didn't need forceps

1368
01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:59,640
Speaker 2: or anything. He also was like quite formed from the

1369
01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:03,200
Speaker 2: star which was instant squished. Yeah, he wasn't squished, so

1370
01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:05,720
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, ye're so pretty. How much did

1371
01:08:05,760 --> 01:08:08,479
Speaker 2: he way? Then three point one when he was born,

1372
01:08:08,520 --> 01:08:10,640
Speaker 2: so not as heavy as we were expecting. I didn't

1373
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:13,560
Speaker 2: realize the variance is about eighteen percent to an ultrasound,

1374
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:16,759
Speaker 2: so we thought he was massive and his head was big,

1375
01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:20,000
Speaker 2: but he wasn't as big as we had been expecting.

1376
01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:24,200
Speaker 2: And then my milk took about three and a half

1377
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:27,280
Speaker 2: to four days to come in, and I'd expressed a

1378
01:08:27,280 --> 01:08:30,599
Speaker 2: lot of colostrum in the weeks prior, so we had

1379
01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:33,040
Speaker 2: enough to keep in going for two and a half

1380
01:08:33,439 --> 01:08:37,320
Speaker 2: three days. The third day he didn't have enough and

1381
01:08:37,439 --> 01:08:40,280
Speaker 2: was starting to lose weight, and I think they're happy

1382
01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:43,280
Speaker 2: with ten percent, but he got into eleven percent, which

1383
01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:46,080
Speaker 2: was still okay, but they wanted to arrest the trend,

1384
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:50,200
Speaker 2: so we ended up feeding him formula twice. And that

1385
01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:51,960
Speaker 2: was around the time where I sort of realized some

1386
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:55,920
Speaker 2: people still really talk about it in quite a stigmatized way.

1387
01:08:55,960 --> 01:08:57,240
Speaker 2: They were like, oh, we don't want to give you

1388
01:08:57,280 --> 01:09:00,599
Speaker 2: the F word, and I was like, does it matter hungry,

1389
01:09:01,240 --> 01:09:03,840
Speaker 2: and that just saw him through and helped him turn

1390
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:05,640
Speaker 2: a corner. And then my milk could come in and

1391
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:09,040
Speaker 2: I was expressing, and he started putting weight back on,

1392
01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:10,639
Speaker 2: and I think he got back to his birth weight

1393
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:15,519
Speaker 2: by about three weeks. And yeah, and now he's just

1394
01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:17,160
Speaker 2: gotten to the stage where the ones is that he

1395
01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:19,559
Speaker 2: started in that his feet wouldn't even reach the little

1396
01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:22,840
Speaker 2: feet pocket thing. He's pushing at the end of them

1397
01:09:22,840 --> 01:09:25,679
Speaker 2: now and I'm like, it's happening too fast.

1398
01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:29,519
Speaker 3: You'd be putting them away for the next one soon.

1399
01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:42,480
Speaker 3: I feel like we could talk all day, but I better.

1400
01:09:42,360 --> 01:09:44,320
Speaker 2: Let you get back to him because he's teeny tiny.

1401
01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:46,400
Speaker 2: But thank you so much. It was so lovely to

1402
01:09:46,439 --> 01:09:49,360
Speaker 2: hear your story. Oh my gosh, thank you so much.

1403
01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:50,720
Speaker 2: I feel like there's so much else. I'm like, oh

1404
01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:52,080
Speaker 2: my god, there's so much I want to talk about.

1405
01:09:52,360 --> 01:09:54,639
Speaker 3: I have to get you back when you've had a

1406
01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:56,519
Speaker 3: bit more postpartum. You'll have to come back and tell

1407
01:09:56,600 --> 01:09:57,839
Speaker 3: us more about post fudom.

1408
01:09:57,920 --> 01:10:01,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much for having you know, your

1409
01:10:01,120 --> 01:10:04,680
Speaker 2: podcast and your book and community have been such a

1410
01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:09,920
Speaker 2: just safe space and has helped me feel so confident.

1411
01:10:10,080 --> 01:10:12,880
Speaker 2: And I really didn't go into it feeling much fear,

1412
01:10:12,960 --> 01:10:16,800
Speaker 2: and I think that's quite rare, but also very very

1413
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:19,479
Speaker 2: much attributed to your work. So I'm so grateful for

1414
01:10:19,520 --> 01:10:23,160
Speaker 2: everything you do. Oh thanks, Well, I don't know if

1415
01:10:23,200 --> 01:10:26,320
Speaker 2: any of that made sense, And again, as I mentioned,

1416
01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:28,280
Speaker 2: I feel like I forgot to say so many things.

1417
01:10:28,280 --> 01:10:30,280
Speaker 2: There were so many other details, but I also completely

1418
01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:32,559
Speaker 2: run myself short of time, and poor Sophie just got

1419
01:10:32,600 --> 01:10:35,799
Speaker 2: an ear bashing. I loved reliving it. I can't imagine

1420
01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:38,360
Speaker 2: ever emerging from this newborn bliss, so I'm not sure

1421
01:10:38,479 --> 01:10:40,200
Speaker 2: in the next follow up episode will be, but I

1422
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:42,920
Speaker 2: do promise it will come eventually. I have so much

1423
01:10:42,920 --> 01:10:45,759
Speaker 2: more to say with the life lessons and revelations coming

1424
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:48,800
Speaker 2: thick and fast every single day. You've probably seen a

1425
01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:51,639
Speaker 2: few ted Talks, which have now been renamed Teddy Talks

1426
01:10:51,720 --> 01:10:55,680
Speaker 2: on socials about things that I'm learning each day, but

1427
01:10:55,760 --> 01:10:58,080
Speaker 2: I somehow have lesson less time to actually articulate them

1428
01:10:58,080 --> 01:11:00,679
Speaker 2: for you. So TBC for now on the follow up episode,

1429
01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:03,080
Speaker 2: but I promise it will come. Thank you so much

1430
01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:05,719
Speaker 2: for listening, and thank you so much again to Sophie

1431
01:11:05,760 --> 01:11:08,680
Speaker 2: for being such a wonderful and thorough host. Not that

1432
01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:10,799
Speaker 2: I really gave her the chance to ask any questions.

1433
01:11:10,920 --> 01:11:14,120
Speaker 2: Apologies for chewing your ear off, soph and you guys,

1434
01:11:14,439 --> 01:11:17,639
Speaker 2: but I hope it was informative and interesting. In the meantime,

1435
01:11:17,680 --> 01:11:19,920
Speaker 2: I hope you guys are having a wonderful week. It's

1436
01:11:20,040 --> 01:11:23,080
Speaker 2: been after having just recorded that the first four weeks

1437
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:25,960
Speaker 2: were wonderful and very smooth, or smooth than at least

1438
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:29,559
Speaker 2: I expected, even though they were chaotic. We've had this week,

1439
01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:32,560
Speaker 2: a couple of nights of projectile vomits, of maternal and

1440
01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:36,400
Speaker 2: child health appointments, of five hours of unexplained crying. It's

1441
01:11:36,439 --> 01:11:38,920
Speaker 2: been a little bit messier, and that's all part of

1442
01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:41,840
Speaker 2: the beautiful chaos. So you know that I love to

1443
01:11:41,840 --> 01:11:44,120
Speaker 2: share the bloops. There's a lot of bloops. They're just

1444
01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:46,840
Speaker 2: free flowing, and I'll keep sharing those your way as well,

1445
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:48,519
Speaker 2: so that you're getting all the side of the picture

1446
01:11:48,560 --> 01:11:50,360
Speaker 2: as usual. But yes, I hope you guys are having

1447
01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:52,600
Speaker 2: a wonderful week. Thank you so much for sharing in

1448
01:11:52,600 --> 01:12:22,000
Speaker 2: our joy, and I hope you're all seizing your yeay jimment. Yeah,