1 00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:10,914 Speaker 1: You're listening to Amma mea podcast. 2 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:23,514 Speaker 2: Welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast where we read 3 00:00:23,554 --> 00:00:25,994 Speaker 2: all the parenting news and the trends and the culture 4 00:00:26,034 --> 00:00:28,394 Speaker 2: and then we bring it to you so you have 5 00:00:28,474 --> 00:00:30,594 Speaker 2: time to read this stuff, leave it to us. We've 6 00:00:30,634 --> 00:00:33,034 Speaker 2: got it, and then we try and make sense of it. 7 00:00:33,394 --> 00:00:36,514 Speaker 2: So if parenting feels really intense right now for you, 8 00:00:36,513 --> 00:00:39,514 Speaker 2: you are not alone. It's not your fault, and we're 9 00:00:39,553 --> 00:00:40,673 Speaker 2: here to make sense of it. 10 00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:45,833 Speaker 1: Welcome. I'm Monic Bowley, I'm Amelia Last, and I'm Stacy Hicks. 11 00:00:46,153 --> 00:00:47,473 Speaker 1: Coming up on today's show. 12 00:00:48,193 --> 00:00:51,353 Speaker 3: Smoking is unfortunately back. But what happens when the thing 13 00:00:51,394 --> 00:00:53,514 Speaker 3: you were raised to be repulsed by rears its ugly 14 00:00:53,593 --> 00:00:54,034 Speaker 3: head again. 15 00:00:54,314 --> 00:00:55,114 Speaker 1: We'll figure it out. 16 00:00:55,234 --> 00:00:57,953 Speaker 4: And I've got a dilemma that I texted to my 17 00:00:58,074 --> 00:01:01,074 Speaker 4: co hosts on the weekend that I needed answered, which is, 18 00:01:01,273 --> 00:01:04,514 Speaker 4: can you bags a spot in line at the playground 19 00:01:04,514 --> 00:01:05,154 Speaker 4: for your kid? 20 00:01:06,074 --> 00:01:09,754 Speaker 2: And I tried a new parenting trend that's going around 21 00:01:09,794 --> 00:01:14,354 Speaker 2: the circles. It's called the family AGM. It's apparently running 22 00:01:14,354 --> 00:01:16,674 Speaker 2: your family like a company is now a thing, and 23 00:01:17,314 --> 00:01:20,754 Speaker 2: the shareholders in my house are very unhappy. Share prices 24 00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:24,314 Speaker 2: are down all right the first. 25 00:01:23,994 --> 00:01:27,274 Speaker 3: But first it's another week and another fourteen year old 26 00:01:27,514 --> 00:01:30,314 Speaker 3: is launching a beauty brand, and I am tired. This 27 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:34,234 Speaker 3: time it's none other than Victoria Beckham's only daughter, Halfer seven. 28 00:01:34,874 --> 00:01:36,274 Speaker 4: I'm sorry Halper seven. 29 00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:40,673 Speaker 3: Yeah that they exclusively refer to her as Halper seven. 30 00:01:40,714 --> 00:01:43,514 Speaker 3: It's always with middle name, really, but I think if 31 00:01:43,514 --> 00:01:45,834 Speaker 3: you give them that call of a middle name, you 32 00:01:45,914 --> 00:01:47,914 Speaker 3: want to say it right, like it adds some edge, 33 00:01:47,914 --> 00:01:50,634 Speaker 3: like if it's Harper Jane or Harper Rose, Like. 34 00:01:50,834 --> 00:01:52,274 Speaker 1: Was David Beckham number seven? 35 00:01:52,394 --> 00:01:52,554 Speaker 2: Yes? 36 00:01:52,674 --> 00:01:55,954 Speaker 1: That is exactly why yes, which kind. 37 00:01:55,754 --> 00:01:58,274 Speaker 4: Of tribute to S Club seven. 38 00:01:59,514 --> 00:02:02,234 Speaker 1: Seven Deadly Sin. But I love that. I love that. 39 00:02:02,434 --> 00:02:05,194 Speaker 4: I wish I was Stacey seven, so creep you know 40 00:02:05,314 --> 00:02:06,514 Speaker 4: the names of the sevens. 41 00:02:06,554 --> 00:02:13,233 Speaker 3: Oh Halfa, who I'm sure did all the paperwork and 42 00:02:13,274 --> 00:02:15,794 Speaker 3: the product development herself. She's been toiling away in a 43 00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:19,874 Speaker 3: lab somewhere is launching Haiku, which is her beauty brand 44 00:02:19,874 --> 00:02:24,274 Speaker 3: for jen Z and jen Alpha. Now Haikuk like the poem, yeah, 45 00:02:24,314 --> 00:02:26,194 Speaker 3: but without the A. It's it good a name in it. 46 00:02:26,474 --> 00:02:29,194 Speaker 3: Look at me being a journalist without the A. Well, 47 00:02:29,234 --> 00:02:32,274 Speaker 3: journalists don't write haiku, that's true. But they shouldn't know 48 00:02:32,314 --> 00:02:35,274 Speaker 3: how to spell it and I didn't. But it's from 49 00:02:35,314 --> 00:02:37,994 Speaker 3: the Japanese word like to a pool or to attract, 50 00:02:38,434 --> 00:02:40,794 Speaker 3: and she's saying it's meant to take inspiration from the 51 00:02:40,874 --> 00:02:43,314 Speaker 3: K Beauty glass skin trend. 52 00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:46,994 Speaker 4: I got some questions, why is it a Japanese word 53 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:53,234 Speaker 4: if it's inspired by K Beauty, because those are different countries. 54 00:02:52,954 --> 00:02:56,233 Speaker 3: Exactly, and I would think probably not great to take 55 00:02:56,274 --> 00:02:58,994 Speaker 3: from cultures that aren't your own with your business venture. 56 00:02:59,594 --> 00:03:02,074 Speaker 3: I would also think that fourteen year olds are probably 57 00:03:02,114 --> 00:03:04,474 Speaker 3: not the ones that need the glass skin. I feel 58 00:03:04,474 --> 00:03:09,394 Speaker 3: like they have that just skin is reflective from the college. 59 00:03:09,474 --> 00:03:11,874 Speaker 2: And what's the Internet saying about this stacy? Are people 60 00:03:11,954 --> 00:03:14,194 Speaker 2: up in arms at fourteen year olds have got beauty 61 00:03:14,234 --> 00:03:15,353 Speaker 2: lines coming out. 62 00:03:15,394 --> 00:03:17,673 Speaker 1: Or people like go young entrepreneurs. 63 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,514 Speaker 3: I think everyone's just tired now. I think this is 64 00:03:20,514 --> 00:03:23,394 Speaker 3: what we're expecting now from the NEPO babies, from the 65 00:03:23,474 --> 00:03:25,594 Speaker 3: children of these big stars, like we've seen it with 66 00:03:25,994 --> 00:03:28,674 Speaker 3: Kim Kardashi and gave an interview talking about how North 67 00:03:29,234 --> 00:03:31,794 Speaker 3: does her own fashion projects and they send her off 68 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,874 Speaker 3: to fashion school every year and she's kind of building 69 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,714 Speaker 3: these brands in the background, and she's twelve, like they're 70 00:03:36,754 --> 00:03:40,514 Speaker 3: starting these kids really early with their entrepreneurial dreams, but 71 00:03:40,994 --> 00:03:42,314 Speaker 3: remains to be seen how it goes. 72 00:03:43,394 --> 00:03:45,794 Speaker 2: All I want to talk about this week is a 73 00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,754 Speaker 2: story U s are in the paper in the Age 74 00:03:48,034 --> 00:03:51,714 Speaker 2: about a Melbourne school that has gone so bunta on 75 00:03:51,754 --> 00:03:54,194 Speaker 2: the banning tech policy. I cannot wait to tell you 76 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:58,274 Speaker 2: about it. So it's a high school called Casey Grammar School. 77 00:03:58,354 --> 00:04:01,474 Speaker 2: This is a mainstream independent school with just about over 78 00:04:01,514 --> 00:04:05,074 Speaker 2: a thousand students and they've put in a blanket no 79 00:04:05,314 --> 00:04:09,514 Speaker 2: tech rule and it might just be the toughest tech 80 00:04:09,554 --> 00:04:11,314 Speaker 2: bound in Australia. And I just want to say to 81 00:04:11,354 --> 00:04:14,514 Speaker 2: this school, thank you for having the balls to do this. 82 00:04:14,634 --> 00:04:17,594 Speaker 2: So what they did is they started out saying no phones, 83 00:04:17,834 --> 00:04:22,034 Speaker 2: only phones allowed in backpacks, and of course that didn't work, 84 00:04:22,354 --> 00:04:24,834 Speaker 2: so the kids were just finding all these workarounds. So 85 00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:29,794 Speaker 2: they've come out now and said absolutely no phones, smart watchers, 86 00:04:30,193 --> 00:04:34,953 Speaker 2: air pods, headphones, tablets, basically nothing that can be connected 87 00:04:34,993 --> 00:04:39,313 Speaker 2: to the Internet is allowed on school grounds. The part 88 00:04:39,354 --> 00:04:41,713 Speaker 2: that I loved the most about this article that I 89 00:04:41,753 --> 00:04:44,953 Speaker 2: read was the principal said the biggest difference wasn't the 90 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:49,594 Speaker 2: academic outcomes, it was the sound of the playground. She said, 91 00:04:49,594 --> 00:04:52,633 Speaker 2: the school is now louder like, kids are talking, they're 92 00:04:52,674 --> 00:04:56,273 Speaker 2: running around, they're playing games, they're making up stuff, they're 93 00:04:56,274 --> 00:04:59,873 Speaker 2: playing cards, and she said it's the way schools used 94 00:04:59,873 --> 00:05:00,394 Speaker 2: to sound. 95 00:05:00,753 --> 00:05:03,674 Speaker 3: That's given me a bit of a chill, like thinking 96 00:05:03,753 --> 00:05:06,513 Speaker 3: back to that and what that was for us, and 97 00:05:06,513 --> 00:05:07,713 Speaker 3: that that was lost. 98 00:05:07,993 --> 00:05:10,873 Speaker 4: Yeah, I also feel like it's really out of step, 99 00:05:11,154 --> 00:05:14,394 Speaker 4: or it's ahead of the game in that so many 100 00:05:14,433 --> 00:05:18,394 Speaker 4: independent schools are still touting access to technology as one 101 00:05:18,433 --> 00:05:20,753 Speaker 4: of their selling points. If you look at the websites, 102 00:05:20,794 --> 00:05:24,073 Speaker 4: at the admissions websites, there's pictures of kids with iPads 103 00:05:24,113 --> 00:05:26,354 Speaker 4: and they talk about how they're learning to code and 104 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:29,113 Speaker 4: all these sorts of things. But this school has correctly 105 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:31,514 Speaker 4: realized that that's a very old fashioned way of thinking 106 00:05:31,594 --> 00:05:34,433 Speaker 4: about tech and now the true luxury and the way 107 00:05:34,714 --> 00:05:38,513 Speaker 4: Silicon Valley parents run their households is to take tech 108 00:05:38,594 --> 00:05:39,514 Speaker 4: away exactly. 109 00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:41,393 Speaker 2: I use that line on my kids all the time, 110 00:05:41,513 --> 00:05:43,234 Speaker 2: where they're like, Mum, can I have the air pat can? 111 00:05:43,714 --> 00:05:47,033 Speaker 2: And I say, the people that invented these things don't 112 00:05:47,034 --> 00:05:49,873 Speaker 2: even let their kids use them. That's how bad they are. 113 00:05:49,993 --> 00:05:51,674 Speaker 4: They all send them to be equestrians. 114 00:05:51,753 --> 00:05:56,553 Speaker 3: Instead, there's a new Hollywood accessory that's become impossible to ignore. 115 00:05:56,594 --> 00:05:58,674 Speaker 3: This week, we were trying to push it kind of 116 00:05:58,714 --> 00:05:59,753 Speaker 3: to the back of our minds. 117 00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:05,354 Speaker 1: It's the durry I regret to imform Cancity. 118 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:08,713 Speaker 3: Yeah, the humble cigarette, which I thought we managed to 119 00:06:08,753 --> 00:06:11,753 Speaker 3: banish about ten fifteen years ago. It felt like it 120 00:06:11,794 --> 00:06:16,113 Speaker 3: was very out of vogue, has now come back with Avengers. 121 00:06:16,154 --> 00:06:16,993 Speaker 4: It's so back. 122 00:06:17,154 --> 00:06:18,994 Speaker 1: Yeah, and look, we're seeing it. 123 00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:22,073 Speaker 3: Sure, there's examples like in Love Story Amelia, one of 124 00:06:22,113 --> 00:06:25,234 Speaker 3: your favorite shows at the moment, where you can argue, well, 125 00:06:25,274 --> 00:06:27,193 Speaker 3: that was of the time, so that's just act. 126 00:06:27,393 --> 00:06:28,873 Speaker 1: Is that the one with Carolyn Bissett? 127 00:06:28,993 --> 00:06:33,154 Speaker 2: Yeah, and Jah, Yeah, I haven't seen it, but yes, yeah, 128 00:06:33,274 --> 00:06:35,033 Speaker 2: So there's examples like that where you could go that 129 00:06:35,154 --> 00:06:37,073 Speaker 2: was of that time, that was just accurate of that. 130 00:06:37,393 --> 00:06:39,873 Speaker 3: But then we're seeing people like Hudson Williams, who is 131 00:06:39,914 --> 00:06:42,233 Speaker 3: like the biggest star in young Hollywood at the moment. 132 00:06:42,513 --> 00:06:44,833 Speaker 1: He's from my favorite show he did Rivalry. 133 00:06:45,553 --> 00:06:48,873 Speaker 3: He's been papped multiple times kind of walking into fashion 134 00:06:48,914 --> 00:06:51,473 Speaker 3: shows with a cigarette in his mouth, like posing like that, 135 00:06:51,594 --> 00:06:55,433 Speaker 3: kind of proud of that. And then this week Kylie Jenner, 136 00:06:55,594 --> 00:06:59,633 Speaker 3: mother of two entrepreneur billionaire, was on the cover of 137 00:06:59,714 --> 00:07:03,073 Speaker 3: Vanity Fair smoking a cigarette, like it is a big 138 00:07:03,113 --> 00:07:04,794 Speaker 3: statement putting that on the cover. 139 00:07:04,993 --> 00:07:05,393 Speaker 1: We're there. 140 00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:08,354 Speaker 2: Also, did I read in all the oscars coverage of 141 00:07:08,393 --> 00:07:11,954 Speaker 2: this week that there were sort of after parties where 142 00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:14,394 Speaker 2: they would lay cigarettes out. 143 00:07:14,074 --> 00:07:15,474 Speaker 1: On a table in sort. 144 00:07:15,354 --> 00:07:19,234 Speaker 2: Of gilded cigarette boxes for people to just that was 145 00:07:19,234 --> 00:07:20,354 Speaker 2: the van to. 146 00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:24,794 Speaker 3: Pass and one thousand dollar ash trays they were that 147 00:07:24,874 --> 00:07:26,914 Speaker 3: were laid out for the solid. 148 00:07:28,194 --> 00:07:29,714 Speaker 4: But this is so upsetting. 149 00:07:29,834 --> 00:07:32,114 Speaker 3: It is upsetting to us, and I think that's the thing. 150 00:07:32,154 --> 00:07:33,953 Speaker 3: We all had a very big reaction to this, and 151 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,594 Speaker 3: we're like, oh my God, like clutching. 152 00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:38,314 Speaker 1: Our pearls that this was kind of so normalized. 153 00:07:38,514 --> 00:07:39,914 Speaker 3: But when I spoke to a lot of the gen 154 00:07:39,994 --> 00:07:42,754 Speaker 3: Z's that I work with in this office, it wasn't 155 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,754 Speaker 3: a big shock to them. 156 00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:46,594 Speaker 2: Oh, they need to bring back those disgusting ads from 157 00:07:46,594 --> 00:07:48,994 Speaker 2: the nineties where they were squeezing the fat out of 158 00:07:49,034 --> 00:07:52,434 Speaker 2: the aorta and the lungs that were just full of tar. 159 00:07:52,953 --> 00:07:53,874 Speaker 1: Do you remember that one? 160 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:57,153 Speaker 4: Yes, funny you should mention that because I wanted to 161 00:07:57,234 --> 00:08:00,114 Speaker 4: test out that theory that we developed in talking about this, 162 00:08:00,194 --> 00:08:03,394 Speaker 4: which is that millennials, and in particular the sort of 163 00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:06,713 Speaker 4: like mid to late millennials, were kind of like the 164 00:08:06,794 --> 00:08:10,514 Speaker 4: peak of not smoking because it coincided with big public 165 00:08:10,754 --> 00:08:13,554 Speaker 4: health campaigns against smoking, and I wanted to check whether 166 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:16,594 Speaker 4: that was true. It turned out to be really interesting. 167 00:08:16,754 --> 00:08:20,274 Speaker 4: Gen Z basically really has flipped the script on nicotine use. 168 00:08:20,393 --> 00:08:25,074 Speaker 4: They are using a lot more nicotine than other generations, 169 00:08:25,274 --> 00:08:29,034 Speaker 4: and certainly more than millennials. Gen X also smoked a lot. 170 00:08:29,354 --> 00:08:33,434 Speaker 4: But the issue with gen Z is that vaping started 171 00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:38,714 Speaker 4: in around twenty fifteen, and the stats show that vaping 172 00:08:39,154 --> 00:08:42,234 Speaker 4: came on top of cigarette use. It wasn't like people 173 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:46,074 Speaker 4: who were smoking started vaping instead, it was that there 174 00:08:46,074 --> 00:08:48,714 Speaker 4: were smokers and then there were vapors, and so as a. 175 00:08:48,674 --> 00:08:53,234 Speaker 2: Result smoking sorry to interrupted. It became difficult to access, 176 00:08:53,274 --> 00:08:56,554 Speaker 2: it became really expensive, it became saf. 177 00:08:56,354 --> 00:08:58,514 Speaker 4: Same packaging undersiogy. 178 00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:01,154 Speaker 2: That's right, all this disgusting imagery that comes on your 179 00:09:01,194 --> 00:09:04,314 Speaker 2: cigarette packet and lots of public health campaigns and messaging 180 00:09:04,394 --> 00:09:05,874 Speaker 2: around how disgusting it all. 181 00:09:05,954 --> 00:09:09,074 Speaker 4: Yep. And then basically vaping kind of like snuck in 182 00:09:09,274 --> 00:09:11,554 Speaker 4: through in a time when there was not a lot 183 00:09:11,554 --> 00:09:14,954 Speaker 4: of regulation. Vapes were sold as kind of like candy 184 00:09:14,994 --> 00:09:18,314 Speaker 4: adjacent or tech device adjacent. And then by the time 185 00:09:18,434 --> 00:09:21,794 Speaker 4: the authorities banned single use vapes, guess what, a whole 186 00:09:21,834 --> 00:09:24,554 Speaker 4: generation was already addicted to nicotine. 187 00:09:24,954 --> 00:09:27,154 Speaker 3: And what you say about candy, it's kind of like 188 00:09:27,194 --> 00:09:29,674 Speaker 3: been marketed as this thing that has really covered up 189 00:09:29,874 --> 00:09:32,834 Speaker 3: what this actually is, which is nicotine. 190 00:09:32,394 --> 00:09:34,434 Speaker 1: Totally for a really long time. 191 00:09:34,514 --> 00:09:38,914 Speaker 2: I think the market moved heaps faster than the actual law, like, 192 00:09:38,994 --> 00:09:43,234 Speaker 2: particularly in that sort of illicit or black market space. 193 00:09:43,634 --> 00:09:47,634 Speaker 2: But as you said, Amelia, Australia has now introduced way 194 00:09:47,714 --> 00:09:50,834 Speaker 2: stricter controls on vaping products. But one of the big 195 00:09:50,874 --> 00:09:54,674 Speaker 2: concerns has been these illicit vapes, these sort of black 196 00:09:54,674 --> 00:10:00,234 Speaker 2: market vapes where people don't actually know exactly what is 197 00:10:00,314 --> 00:10:02,434 Speaker 2: in the actual products that they're using. 198 00:10:02,754 --> 00:10:04,754 Speaker 4: Yeah, and they did bring in these tough laws in 199 00:10:04,794 --> 00:10:06,794 Speaker 4: twenty twenty four, and that's good, even though it was 200 00:10:06,794 --> 00:10:09,274 Speaker 4: a bit of you. But the whole industry is a 201 00:10:09,314 --> 00:10:10,474 Speaker 4: real whack a mole And I. 202 00:10:10,394 --> 00:10:12,954 Speaker 3: Have friends with slightly older kids, and that is definitely 203 00:10:12,954 --> 00:10:14,314 Speaker 3: something they're worrying about now. 204 00:10:14,474 --> 00:10:17,194 Speaker 4: And now they have this real dilemma because the public 205 00:10:17,234 --> 00:10:19,954 Speaker 4: health authorities don't know how to reach young people at scale. 206 00:10:20,034 --> 00:10:23,114 Speaker 4: When we were growing up, we basically had four TV channels, 207 00:10:23,514 --> 00:10:27,194 Speaker 4: so when a PSA came on against smoking, everyone saw it. 208 00:10:27,514 --> 00:10:30,074 Speaker 4: And now the government is trying to think about reaching 209 00:10:30,114 --> 00:10:33,354 Speaker 4: young people through channels like TikTok. So it's really hard 210 00:10:33,394 --> 00:10:35,914 Speaker 4: to reach young people now in the same way that 211 00:10:35,994 --> 00:10:37,994 Speaker 4: we were being reached in the late nineties. 212 00:10:38,394 --> 00:10:41,114 Speaker 3: Yeah, because there were those ads that had like the 213 00:10:41,194 --> 00:10:44,394 Speaker 3: fat with tar being squeezed out, or there was packaging 214 00:10:44,474 --> 00:10:47,034 Speaker 3: with the teeth like that is seed into my memory, 215 00:10:47,074 --> 00:10:49,674 Speaker 3: that picture of the rotting teeth from cigarettes. 216 00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:52,714 Speaker 4: Yeah. And the other interesting thing is that the experts 217 00:10:52,714 --> 00:10:56,594 Speaker 4: are saying that appeals on the basis of health and 218 00:10:56,754 --> 00:11:00,074 Speaker 4: not as effective for this generation as they were for millennials. 219 00:11:00,114 --> 00:11:02,274 Speaker 4: I don't know why that is. Maybe it's because we've 220 00:11:02,314 --> 00:11:06,154 Speaker 4: all lost faith in institutions and in experts in the 221 00:11:06,234 --> 00:11:08,674 Speaker 4: last ten years or so, and instead the ads that 222 00:11:08,674 --> 00:11:12,194 Speaker 4: are cutting through to young people are about social cringe 223 00:11:13,354 --> 00:11:16,034 Speaker 4: rather than because we remember all the black and lungs 224 00:11:16,074 --> 00:11:18,514 Speaker 4: and things. They're not moved by that. They're moved by 225 00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:20,353 Speaker 4: someone being like this is embarrassing. 226 00:11:20,754 --> 00:11:23,954 Speaker 3: Yeah, because it did become embarrassing for a time. Like 227 00:11:24,034 --> 00:11:27,074 Speaker 3: I would say that cigarettes did become this thing. We go, oh, 228 00:11:27,114 --> 00:11:30,434 Speaker 3: you're still doing that. But now it's almost like it's 229 00:11:30,514 --> 00:11:31,314 Speaker 3: come full circle. 230 00:11:31,434 --> 00:11:34,554 Speaker 2: The last ten years we've seen this wellness movement of 231 00:11:34,714 --> 00:11:39,154 Speaker 2: green juices and bickram yogurt and optimizing, and now we're 232 00:11:39,154 --> 00:11:42,314 Speaker 2: seeing a generation that's like, actually, I'm just gonna have 233 00:11:42,314 --> 00:11:44,114 Speaker 2: a cigarette and a breakdown. It's dangerous. 234 00:11:44,154 --> 00:11:47,394 Speaker 4: How do we bring our kind of like judgmental millennial 235 00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:50,994 Speaker 4: selves into parenting children in this environment? 236 00:11:51,074 --> 00:11:52,154 Speaker 1: This is our job to worry? 237 00:11:52,434 --> 00:11:54,634 Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess we should be aware of the fact that, 238 00:11:54,754 --> 00:11:58,274 Speaker 4: like now those big campaigns that made such an impact 239 00:11:58,314 --> 00:12:00,714 Speaker 4: on us are never going to have the same impact again, 240 00:12:00,794 --> 00:12:02,714 Speaker 4: and that maybe it now falls to us more. 241 00:12:03,194 --> 00:12:05,834 Speaker 3: It's not all bad across the spectrum. Like if you 242 00:12:05,834 --> 00:12:08,314 Speaker 3: look at drinking all the stuff with gen Z say 243 00:12:08,314 --> 00:12:11,634 Speaker 3: that they're twenty times less likely to consume alcohol than 244 00:12:11,634 --> 00:12:14,834 Speaker 3: Baby boomers. There are things that were excess for certain 245 00:12:14,914 --> 00:12:18,314 Speaker 3: generations then really droped down the scale. So maybe this 246 00:12:18,514 --> 00:12:20,354 Speaker 3: is going to be the thing that then becomes very 247 00:12:20,394 --> 00:12:22,474 Speaker 3: uncol for like our kids generation. 248 00:12:22,714 --> 00:12:26,314 Speaker 2: I think the moment that I felt like, oh, this 249 00:12:26,514 --> 00:12:30,953 Speaker 2: is a problem was when Gwyneth Paltrow talked on Amy 250 00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:32,754 Speaker 2: Pohler's podcast Good. 251 00:12:32,554 --> 00:12:35,234 Speaker 4: Hang, which is the most wholesome podcast. 252 00:12:35,074 --> 00:12:37,914 Speaker 2: Some podcast millions of listeners. 253 00:12:37,474 --> 00:12:39,074 Speaker 1: She talked about how. 254 00:12:38,954 --> 00:12:42,834 Speaker 2: She loves a dirry missus Gwyneth. She is probably the 255 00:12:43,154 --> 00:12:45,354 Speaker 2: celebrity who's most synonymous with wellness. 256 00:12:46,154 --> 00:12:48,994 Speaker 4: This I know it's not good on Gwyneth. I guess 257 00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:51,674 Speaker 4: she's always famously been a smoker though, Like there was 258 00:12:51,714 --> 00:12:54,714 Speaker 4: this famous interview she gave a long time ago now 259 00:12:54,714 --> 00:12:57,154 Speaker 4: where she said that she allowed herself as a treat 260 00:12:57,314 --> 00:13:01,354 Speaker 4: one cigarette a week, and I think she's very gen X, 261 00:13:01,434 --> 00:13:03,674 Speaker 4: Like I think we knew that gen X was into this. 262 00:13:03,794 --> 00:13:07,434 Speaker 4: I think the thing that's changed for gen Z and 263 00:13:07,514 --> 00:13:13,074 Speaker 4: potentially beyond is vaping has completely taken over before we 264 00:13:13,154 --> 00:13:16,474 Speaker 4: realized that it had. So people are saying now that 265 00:13:16,474 --> 00:13:20,554 Speaker 4: that big governmental push on public health and safety campaigns 266 00:13:20,954 --> 00:13:25,554 Speaker 4: that work so well for smoking needs to be reimagined 267 00:13:25,634 --> 00:13:28,074 Speaker 4: for the social media age. And while we're at it, 268 00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:30,234 Speaker 4: we also need to tell teens to stop gambling, but 269 00:13:30,274 --> 00:13:32,994 Speaker 4: that's another story for another time. I have a modern 270 00:13:33,074 --> 00:13:35,914 Speaker 4: dilemma that I texted you both about on the weekend, 271 00:13:36,034 --> 00:13:38,234 Speaker 4: and you cruelly said that you would tell me what 272 00:13:38,274 --> 00:13:41,034 Speaker 4: you thought about my dilemma in our record. 273 00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:43,834 Speaker 2: So here we are content always. 274 00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:47,234 Speaker 4: I was at the park and there was this incredibly 275 00:13:47,474 --> 00:13:50,234 Speaker 4: cool piece of playground equipment that is hard to describe, 276 00:13:50,314 --> 00:13:53,714 Speaker 4: like basically a giant spinny thing the kid gets on 277 00:13:53,794 --> 00:13:56,674 Speaker 4: like a little spinning seat, and then there's also like 278 00:13:56,714 --> 00:13:59,714 Speaker 4: a handle. It's a big sea saw, a giant season 279 00:13:59,754 --> 00:14:02,034 Speaker 4: that they spin around. So there was a long line 280 00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:06,034 Speaker 4: for it. Naturally, how long are we talking at its peak? 281 00:14:06,154 --> 00:14:09,754 Speaker 4: Maybe six people, okay, and maybe each kid was on 282 00:14:09,794 --> 00:14:12,474 Speaker 4: it for approximately five minutes, so you know, quite a 283 00:14:12,514 --> 00:14:12,914 Speaker 4: long line. 284 00:14:12,994 --> 00:14:13,674 Speaker 2: Yeah. 285 00:14:13,714 --> 00:14:15,754 Speaker 4: There was a jazz festival happening in the park, which 286 00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:18,354 Speaker 4: is like the least interesting thing to children, so that 287 00:14:18,474 --> 00:14:21,514 Speaker 4: I think may have exacerbated the line for the seesaw thing. 288 00:14:22,354 --> 00:14:25,354 Speaker 4: A man somewhat pushed in front of me and said, oh, 289 00:14:25,434 --> 00:14:27,594 Speaker 4: I was here in line, and I was like, weed, 290 00:14:27,714 --> 00:14:30,394 Speaker 4: I didn't notice this man in line, And then it 291 00:14:30,434 --> 00:14:33,354 Speaker 4: became apparent that he was holding the place for his 292 00:14:33,474 --> 00:14:36,674 Speaker 4: two indifferent children who were playing on other pieces of 293 00:14:36,714 --> 00:14:39,834 Speaker 4: playground equipment. And when he finally got to the top 294 00:14:39,874 --> 00:14:41,674 Speaker 4: of the line, he was like, come over now, you 295 00:14:41,754 --> 00:14:43,634 Speaker 4: can be on the sea saw now, and they kind 296 00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:46,674 Speaker 4: of like reluctantly came over and we're on the sea 297 00:14:46,714 --> 00:14:50,394 Speaker 4: saw for a few minutes. Now, I don't think that's 298 00:14:50,674 --> 00:14:53,474 Speaker 4: okay for him to hold the line. I think that 299 00:14:53,554 --> 00:14:56,474 Speaker 4: we teach children patients in the line. And also, these 300 00:14:56,514 --> 00:14:59,794 Speaker 4: children didn't even want to use this piece of playground equipment. 301 00:15:00,034 --> 00:15:02,914 Speaker 2: You were in the line with your child, yes, okay, 302 00:15:02,994 --> 00:15:04,834 Speaker 2: all right, so you were also in the line. 303 00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:05,314 Speaker 4: Yes. 304 00:15:05,594 --> 00:15:08,314 Speaker 2: Did your child at any point step away from you 305 00:15:08,354 --> 00:15:09,634 Speaker 2: to go and play on another piece? 306 00:15:09,874 --> 00:15:13,234 Speaker 4: She was obsessed with it and she was waiting in 307 00:15:13,274 --> 00:15:13,874 Speaker 4: line for it. 308 00:15:13,994 --> 00:15:16,914 Speaker 1: I just need the data points. Yeah, okay, so we 309 00:15:16,994 --> 00:15:17,874 Speaker 1: have all the evidence. 310 00:15:18,394 --> 00:15:19,914 Speaker 2: What did you say to this man? 311 00:15:20,074 --> 00:15:23,914 Speaker 4: Nothing? I texted you. I was outraged and simmered with 312 00:15:24,154 --> 00:15:26,834 Speaker 4: silent hostility, and I think he got those vibes from me. 313 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:30,194 Speaker 4: But I just think that his children didn't even want 314 00:15:30,234 --> 00:15:32,674 Speaker 4: to do this thing. He clearly had decided it was 315 00:15:32,834 --> 00:15:36,554 Speaker 4: the objectively most interesting piece of playground equipment. You don't 316 00:15:36,594 --> 00:15:38,954 Speaker 4: get to placehold for your children. I just think this 317 00:15:38,994 --> 00:15:41,434 Speaker 4: is fundamentally UnAustralian. It's sort of like, hey, you're not 318 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,514 Speaker 4: allowed to stand in a car park for a car, 319 00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:46,154 Speaker 4: like the car's got to be there. The kids got 320 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,874 Speaker 4: to be their end of story. Am I right? 321 00:15:47,954 --> 00:15:50,394 Speaker 3: But sometimes this does happen in life, where you know 322 00:15:50,434 --> 00:15:52,594 Speaker 3: you've got to go and pee and your friend holds 323 00:15:52,594 --> 00:15:53,994 Speaker 3: you short line at the bar. 324 00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:56,634 Speaker 4: They see the children were not peeing. They were on 325 00:15:56,954 --> 00:16:00,754 Speaker 4: different pieces of playground equipment. And it wasn't just like, oh, 326 00:16:00,754 --> 00:16:03,354 Speaker 4: I'll hold it for you while you're away. It was like, 327 00:16:03,954 --> 00:16:06,914 Speaker 4: you can go and enjoy the rest of the playground 328 00:16:07,354 --> 00:16:10,154 Speaker 4: while I do this task for you. 329 00:16:10,154 --> 00:16:11,234 Speaker 1: You disagree with. 330 00:16:11,154 --> 00:16:12,554 Speaker 4: Me, and I'm so angry. 331 00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:17,074 Speaker 2: I don't disagree with you. Okay, here's where my brain 332 00:16:17,154 --> 00:16:19,314 Speaker 2: is going. I might be wrong. But what if the 333 00:16:19,434 --> 00:16:22,874 Speaker 2: kids are neurodvergent and they've got ADHD and they can't 334 00:16:22,874 --> 00:16:24,354 Speaker 2: stand in the line for twenty minutes? 335 00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:26,594 Speaker 4: Fine, assume that they were not neuro divigin. 336 00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:27,994 Speaker 1: What did you want to say to him? 337 00:16:28,474 --> 00:16:30,314 Speaker 4: I wanted to say, this is how we teach our 338 00:16:30,394 --> 00:16:33,914 Speaker 4: children patience. Yeah, I think you should have no. 339 00:16:33,914 --> 00:16:36,314 Speaker 1: No, I get why you didn't, and I know why 340 00:16:36,314 --> 00:16:37,834 Speaker 1: you didn't. I'm fully with you on this. 341 00:16:37,994 --> 00:16:40,314 Speaker 3: I think that the right answer is that you see 342 00:16:40,554 --> 00:16:42,114 Speaker 3: with hot rage behind. 343 00:16:41,794 --> 00:16:43,954 Speaker 4: And you text your friend, and you text. 344 00:16:43,674 --> 00:16:45,634 Speaker 1: Your friends while you're standing there. But you did. 345 00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,594 Speaker 4: You must say somewhat passive aggressive things to your children, 346 00:16:48,714 --> 00:16:52,354 Speaker 4: like this man really wants to go on the playground. Yeah, 347 00:16:52,354 --> 00:16:53,594 Speaker 4: so let's wait for him. 348 00:16:53,794 --> 00:16:56,674 Speaker 3: Yes, let's let him have his turn, and then you, 349 00:16:56,874 --> 00:17:00,194 Speaker 3: who patiently waited in the line, can have your turn. 350 00:17:00,314 --> 00:17:03,154 Speaker 1: I say all of the above, you absolutely as you 351 00:17:03,194 --> 00:17:03,594 Speaker 1: should have. 352 00:17:03,714 --> 00:17:05,994 Speaker 3: No, I'm fully on board with you. I agree it's 353 00:17:05,994 --> 00:17:08,474 Speaker 3: hard to keep them there. Obviously hard to keep them there, 354 00:17:08,674 --> 00:17:10,553 Speaker 3: but then they need to learn the lesson that if 355 00:17:10,554 --> 00:17:12,394 Speaker 3: you don't stand there, it's okay, but you don't get 356 00:17:12,394 --> 00:17:14,274 Speaker 3: to go on it to start back at the start 357 00:17:14,274 --> 00:17:14,634 Speaker 3: of it. 358 00:17:14,554 --> 00:17:17,513 Speaker 4: It feels like optimization culture, something we talked about a 359 00:17:17,554 --> 00:17:19,954 Speaker 4: lot on this podcast, to be like I want my 360 00:17:20,114 --> 00:17:23,513 Speaker 4: children to have the best possible playground experience, so they 361 00:17:23,594 --> 00:17:26,234 Speaker 4: must be playing at all times. Well, I stand in 362 00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:28,434 Speaker 4: this line for them. Yeah, And it's like part of 363 00:17:28,474 --> 00:17:31,034 Speaker 4: the playground experience, part of childhood. 364 00:17:30,594 --> 00:17:34,354 Speaker 2: Part of life is frustration and boredom. It's also very snowplow. 365 00:17:35,074 --> 00:17:37,354 Speaker 2: I will pave the way for my children to have 366 00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:39,474 Speaker 2: the easy path yes through life. 367 00:17:39,594 --> 00:17:42,154 Speaker 4: I'm so glad that your in vigorous agreement with me. 368 00:17:42,314 --> 00:17:45,354 Speaker 1: I really am. I'm so for you and Daggers to 369 00:17:45,434 --> 00:17:46,114 Speaker 1: that Dad. 370 00:17:45,954 --> 00:17:50,474 Speaker 2: From Afar Okay, speaking of optimizing parents, I have a 371 00:17:50,554 --> 00:17:53,553 Speaker 2: question for the group. We have a group chat. We 372 00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:56,114 Speaker 2: do You sent a photo in the group chat on 373 00:17:56,154 --> 00:17:59,154 Speaker 2: the weekend and I have so many questions that I've 374 00:17:59,194 --> 00:18:01,514 Speaker 2: saved up for today. It was a photo of what 375 00:18:01,554 --> 00:18:05,154 Speaker 2: I would describe as a hat with an egg eggs 376 00:18:05,154 --> 00:18:06,274 Speaker 2: on it pastal colors. 377 00:18:06,394 --> 00:18:09,194 Speaker 4: My infactress this photo while I was in the line 378 00:18:09,354 --> 00:18:11,954 Speaker 4: and I was like, Stacy, we have to talk about this. 379 00:18:12,034 --> 00:18:14,594 Speaker 2: It's Stacy, you tell me it's an Easter hat for 380 00:18:14,674 --> 00:18:15,954 Speaker 2: the Easter hat parade? 381 00:18:16,794 --> 00:18:20,793 Speaker 1: What is an Easter hat and a parade? 382 00:18:21,154 --> 00:18:21,434 Speaker 4: Look? 383 00:18:21,754 --> 00:18:24,513 Speaker 3: Number one can't really answer it. It's just something that 384 00:18:24,554 --> 00:18:28,353 Speaker 3: I've been tasked do call others tell I care. But 385 00:18:28,434 --> 00:18:30,754 Speaker 3: number two, I did not know that this was not 386 00:18:30,874 --> 00:18:33,434 Speaker 3: an Australia wide phenomenon. 387 00:18:33,674 --> 00:18:36,194 Speaker 1: I thought parents in every state making a hat. 388 00:18:36,274 --> 00:18:38,834 Speaker 2: There's no Easter hat culture in South Australia. 389 00:18:38,954 --> 00:18:39,194 Speaker 1: None. 390 00:18:40,234 --> 00:18:42,994 Speaker 2: This is another reason you should both move to Adelaide, 391 00:18:43,194 --> 00:18:46,154 Speaker 2: because life is easy there. We do not burden parents 392 00:18:46,154 --> 00:18:50,234 Speaker 2: with yet another thing. Mere weeks after harmony. 393 00:18:49,794 --> 00:18:52,513 Speaker 3: I slaved away with a hot glue gun that I 394 00:18:52,594 --> 00:18:56,313 Speaker 3: burnt myself with twice, making this stupid hat as my 395 00:18:56,354 --> 00:18:59,354 Speaker 3: five year old aunt directed me, telling me to put 396 00:18:59,354 --> 00:19:01,754 Speaker 3: things in an order that were not the order. It 397 00:19:01,794 --> 00:19:04,234 Speaker 3: was really bothering me. I was like, no, they have 398 00:19:04,274 --> 00:19:06,594 Speaker 3: to go color coordinated on both sides. It has to 399 00:19:06,634 --> 00:19:09,394 Speaker 3: be even. But I did what she wished. It looks 400 00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:11,714 Speaker 3: like a hot mess, but she loves it. But yes, 401 00:19:11,994 --> 00:19:13,354 Speaker 3: Easter hat parade. 402 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:18,273 Speaker 4: Don't you don't celebrate Easter with a hat because that's weird. 403 00:19:18,834 --> 00:19:23,034 Speaker 2: I just don't understand how so Jesus dies right he's 404 00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:25,714 Speaker 2: on the crucifix. No one is saying, you know what 405 00:19:25,754 --> 00:19:32,074 Speaker 2: we need right now? Still hat and parade around? How 406 00:19:32,114 --> 00:19:35,194 Speaker 2: did we get from there to there? It makes That's 407 00:19:35,234 --> 00:19:35,754 Speaker 2: a good po. 408 00:19:37,034 --> 00:19:39,674 Speaker 3: But even the kids don't get it, because last year, 409 00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:43,034 Speaker 3: when my daughter spoke about it to me, she said, oh, 410 00:19:43,154 --> 00:19:46,194 Speaker 3: is this like that time you and daddy came and 411 00:19:46,234 --> 00:19:48,793 Speaker 3: watched me walk in a circle in that silly hat. 412 00:19:49,394 --> 00:19:51,274 Speaker 3: That is as far as it goes for them. It's 413 00:19:51,314 --> 00:19:52,594 Speaker 3: not the true meaning of Easter. 414 00:19:53,034 --> 00:19:55,874 Speaker 2: I do feel like book week is enough. The Book 415 00:19:55,874 --> 00:20:00,914 Speaker 2: week contraptions and paradeousness once a year is fine. But yeah, 416 00:20:01,114 --> 00:20:02,634 Speaker 2: Easter hats, you're taking the piss. 417 00:20:02,794 --> 00:20:04,954 Speaker 3: I agree with you now, I didn't realize this was 418 00:20:04,994 --> 00:20:07,234 Speaker 3: an optional activity that I was doing, and I I 419 00:20:07,354 --> 00:20:08,154 Speaker 3: want to opt. 420 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,634 Speaker 2: There is a new idea doing the rounds in parenting 421 00:20:11,714 --> 00:20:14,714 Speaker 2: circles a trend, if you will. It's about running your 422 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:18,314 Speaker 2: family like a company. Stay with me, okay. This came 423 00:20:18,394 --> 00:20:23,234 Speaker 2: from one of the biggest parenting substacks in America. It's 424 00:20:23,274 --> 00:20:28,114 Speaker 2: called the Landing. The Landing Landing. It's very calm, it's 425 00:20:28,274 --> 00:20:34,154 Speaker 2: very considered. Everyone's very emotionally regulated at the Landing, and 426 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:38,074 Speaker 2: the author of the Landing, Emily Lay, writes every year 427 00:20:38,194 --> 00:20:42,394 Speaker 2: she holds an AGM for her family, an annual general 428 00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:45,874 Speaker 2: meeting where they bring the family together and they set 429 00:20:45,914 --> 00:20:48,354 Speaker 2: an agenda and they talk about the goals for the 430 00:20:48,434 --> 00:20:50,434 Speaker 2: year and it's. 431 00:20:50,274 --> 00:20:53,434 Speaker 1: A wonderful time. Is there lanyards? It feels like there's 432 00:20:53,514 --> 00:20:58,314 Speaker 1: lards the Landing. There is not, but there are. I'll 433 00:20:58,314 --> 00:20:59,394 Speaker 1: get into the luniards. 434 00:21:00,434 --> 00:21:03,114 Speaker 2: She also sells a course on how you can run 435 00:21:03,194 --> 00:21:06,273 Speaker 2: your own annual family meeting. Anyway, I saw this annual 436 00:21:06,314 --> 00:21:09,154 Speaker 2: family meeting and I thought, how it can be that parent? 437 00:21:09,474 --> 00:21:12,234 Speaker 2: I can I want to be that kind of parent. 438 00:21:12,634 --> 00:21:15,434 Speaker 2: Now you've been a boss, You've managed a lot of people, 439 00:21:15,594 --> 00:21:17,594 Speaker 2: this is the thing. I saw this, I read it, 440 00:21:17,834 --> 00:21:20,194 Speaker 2: I implanted in my brain. I run to my husband, 441 00:21:20,194 --> 00:21:23,034 Speaker 2: I said, I want to run an AGM for the family, 442 00:21:23,274 --> 00:21:25,994 Speaker 2: and he said, you need to go back to your job. 443 00:21:26,074 --> 00:21:27,354 Speaker 1: Because I did. 444 00:21:27,874 --> 00:21:29,434 Speaker 2: One thing you might not know about me is I 445 00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:31,914 Speaker 2: used to run a very large team and then I 446 00:21:31,994 --> 00:21:34,634 Speaker 2: quit my job and needed a little hit of a meeting. 447 00:21:34,714 --> 00:21:35,394 Speaker 1: I needed to hear. 448 00:21:35,514 --> 00:21:37,514 Speaker 4: Is that. Do you think what appealed to you about it? 449 00:21:37,674 --> 00:21:42,394 Speaker 2: Yes? I love getting people in a room and saying 450 00:21:42,474 --> 00:21:44,594 Speaker 2: this is the goal and here's how we're going to 451 00:21:44,634 --> 00:21:46,513 Speaker 2: get there. And so I was like, well, if I 452 00:21:46,554 --> 00:21:48,754 Speaker 2: can't do that anymore, I can just apply this to 453 00:21:48,794 --> 00:21:49,513 Speaker 2: my own family. 454 00:21:49,874 --> 00:21:50,074 Speaker 1: Right. 455 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:54,714 Speaker 2: So, Emily lays and your family meeting follows an agenda, 456 00:21:55,274 --> 00:21:57,754 Speaker 2: and you gather everyone, and you give everyone a voice, 457 00:21:57,914 --> 00:22:01,313 Speaker 2: and you intentionally design the kind of family that you 458 00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:04,793 Speaker 2: want to be. And I took this too far. I 459 00:22:04,874 --> 00:22:08,154 Speaker 2: laid out little water bottles for everyone. Stop, I had 460 00:22:08,274 --> 00:22:10,674 Speaker 2: post it no. Well, I wanted to make it exciting 461 00:22:10,674 --> 00:22:12,434 Speaker 2: for the kids. I was like, we're having an annual 462 00:22:12,434 --> 00:22:15,553 Speaker 2: family meeting. It's exciting. They get like those little water bottles. 463 00:22:15,874 --> 00:22:19,434 Speaker 2: They love them. Little post it notes and some stickers. 464 00:22:19,514 --> 00:22:21,513 Speaker 2: It was very exciting. You have to make it exciting. 465 00:22:21,554 --> 00:22:22,994 Speaker 4: This is what happens when you don't have to make 466 00:22:23,034 --> 00:22:25,154 Speaker 4: an Easter hate. You have all this spare time. 467 00:22:25,274 --> 00:22:28,074 Speaker 3: Yes, now that Emily lay at the landing doesn't make 468 00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:29,394 Speaker 3: East hats either when. 469 00:22:29,194 --> 00:22:30,874 Speaker 1: She's doing this, she would, she would. 470 00:22:31,514 --> 00:22:33,714 Speaker 2: It was a very short meeting, twenty minutes because I 471 00:22:33,754 --> 00:22:35,434 Speaker 2: was like, you know, they're kids, they're in the little 472 00:22:35,474 --> 00:22:38,074 Speaker 2: five and seven. And it had five items on the 473 00:22:38,114 --> 00:22:47,434 Speaker 2: agenda compliments, family values, fun, family things, expectations, and then 474 00:22:47,434 --> 00:22:48,914 Speaker 2: we're going to end with a treat. 475 00:22:49,474 --> 00:22:51,994 Speaker 3: So the compliments was like the icebreaker, like the same 476 00:22:52,194 --> 00:22:53,354 Speaker 3: three fun things about yourself. 477 00:22:53,354 --> 00:22:54,834 Speaker 1: It was just so one nice thing. 478 00:22:55,354 --> 00:22:57,354 Speaker 4: Was this like a Saturday morning situation. 479 00:22:57,394 --> 00:22:59,794 Speaker 2: It was a Sunday like mid around the middle of 480 00:22:59,834 --> 00:23:03,674 Speaker 2: the day. Everyone's well rested and fed. You are looking 481 00:23:03,754 --> 00:23:04,994 Speaker 2: at me with so. 482 00:23:04,674 --> 00:23:06,394 Speaker 4: So I'm actually horrified. 483 00:23:06,514 --> 00:23:09,354 Speaker 2: Keep going, all right, So we start with compliments, it's 484 00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:13,794 Speaker 2: going well, and then we move into family values. Now 485 00:23:14,114 --> 00:23:17,034 Speaker 2: everyone writes down on their post it note a value 486 00:23:17,154 --> 00:23:19,114 Speaker 2: or I'd pre written a lot of values. 487 00:23:19,474 --> 00:23:21,514 Speaker 4: Can you give us an example of just one one? 488 00:23:21,714 --> 00:23:23,634 Speaker 1: Be kind, be helpful? 489 00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:24,474 Speaker 4: Right? 490 00:23:24,514 --> 00:23:26,914 Speaker 2: And then we put them all out on the table 491 00:23:26,994 --> 00:23:29,114 Speaker 2: and then you had to take your sticker and put 492 00:23:29,154 --> 00:23:30,394 Speaker 2: a dot on the one that you. 493 00:23:30,434 --> 00:23:31,354 Speaker 1: Thought was the best. 494 00:23:31,394 --> 00:23:33,634 Speaker 2: So you got to vote with your stickers, and then 495 00:23:33,874 --> 00:23:36,634 Speaker 2: we decided whatever ones had the most stickers on them 496 00:23:36,634 --> 00:23:39,994 Speaker 2: were going to be our family values. At this point, 497 00:23:40,114 --> 00:23:44,634 Speaker 2: I'm like, monic, you are a leader. You are winning. 498 00:23:45,114 --> 00:23:47,794 Speaker 2: You are at the top of the parenting leaderboard right now, 499 00:23:47,994 --> 00:23:51,514 Speaker 2: like this is going so well. And we also had 500 00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:54,074 Speaker 2: a talking stick that you could pass around and so 501 00:23:54,154 --> 00:23:57,954 Speaker 2: you could talk uninterrupted. And then one child starts to 502 00:23:58,034 --> 00:24:04,114 Speaker 2: winge because their value didn't get selected, and then the 503 00:24:04,154 --> 00:24:08,513 Speaker 2: other child hit them with the walking stick, which was 504 00:24:08,554 --> 00:24:11,313 Speaker 2: a drumstick, which would have actually really hurt, like if 505 00:24:11,314 --> 00:24:14,954 Speaker 2: you've ever been hit by a drumstick at hurt. They 506 00:24:14,994 --> 00:24:19,273 Speaker 2: both leave the table and then I I just growed. 507 00:24:19,354 --> 00:24:25,434 Speaker 2: I was like, so now we have two children crying 508 00:24:25,554 --> 00:24:26,234 Speaker 2: and me yelling. 509 00:24:26,274 --> 00:24:29,194 Speaker 1: We are six minutes in at this point, it was 510 00:24:29,434 --> 00:24:30,114 Speaker 1: so bad. 511 00:24:30,154 --> 00:24:33,394 Speaker 2: We did not even make it to the next part 512 00:24:33,394 --> 00:24:37,513 Speaker 2: of the agenda, just meeting adjourned, two children crying, and 513 00:24:37,554 --> 00:24:40,114 Speaker 2: the chairperson has just stepped down in disgrace. 514 00:24:42,434 --> 00:24:45,033 Speaker 3: Well intentioned, Look, I think you got further than a 515 00:24:45,074 --> 00:24:47,114 Speaker 3: lot of people would I don't know that I would 516 00:24:47,154 --> 00:24:49,874 Speaker 3: even be able to get my child to the age. 517 00:24:49,914 --> 00:24:51,874 Speaker 4: Ye, and where do you get the little water bottles from? 518 00:24:51,994 --> 00:24:54,594 Speaker 1: I don't know exactly. I'm stationary. 519 00:24:54,714 --> 00:24:57,234 Speaker 2: You did a lot, thank you, but just I was like, 520 00:24:57,914 --> 00:25:00,274 Speaker 2: just went from my core memories. This is making core 521 00:25:00,394 --> 00:25:02,994 Speaker 2: memories to Oh god, the core memory I've just made 522 00:25:02,994 --> 00:25:05,274 Speaker 2: here is like angry, horrible Mark. 523 00:25:05,354 --> 00:25:07,834 Speaker 4: I just think those are rough age to be having 524 00:25:07,874 --> 00:25:08,794 Speaker 4: a meeting with. 525 00:25:09,034 --> 00:25:11,434 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think try the AGM again in twenty twenty 526 00:25:11,434 --> 00:25:13,194 Speaker 3: seven and see what happens. 527 00:25:13,234 --> 00:25:16,834 Speaker 1: Maybe seven minute AGM this time. All right. 528 00:25:16,914 --> 00:25:19,513 Speaker 2: It is part of the show where we like to 529 00:25:19,594 --> 00:25:22,274 Speaker 2: bring you our fellow parents, the things that we're loving, 530 00:25:22,314 --> 00:25:25,754 Speaker 2: sick like recommendations of things to watch or do or be. 531 00:25:26,554 --> 00:25:28,354 Speaker 4: I'm dying to hear about yours. You've brought a book 532 00:25:28,354 --> 00:25:31,154 Speaker 4: into studio and both you and Stacy are raving about it. 533 00:25:31,354 --> 00:25:35,274 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's actually I'll grab it. Speaking of angry mums. 534 00:25:35,114 --> 00:25:36,514 Speaker 1: This book is so fantastic. 535 00:25:36,594 --> 00:25:38,234 Speaker 2: There's a lot of book about parenting out there, and 536 00:25:38,234 --> 00:25:40,314 Speaker 2: there's a lot of books about burnout, and I feel 537 00:25:40,314 --> 00:25:42,434 Speaker 2: like I've read most of them. I want to talk 538 00:25:42,434 --> 00:25:44,954 Speaker 2: about this one that I read. It's called Meltdown by 539 00:25:45,034 --> 00:25:46,034 Speaker 2: Lauren Novak. 540 00:25:46,234 --> 00:25:49,114 Speaker 4: I've seen this at the library and I haven't borrowed 541 00:25:49,154 --> 00:25:49,554 Speaker 4: it yet. 542 00:25:50,114 --> 00:25:51,954 Speaker 1: She's an Australian journalist. 543 00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:54,354 Speaker 3: And she's a parenting out Louder. She listens to the show. 544 00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:58,074 Speaker 3: She has commented before, so she's about Louder. So we 545 00:25:58,154 --> 00:25:58,994 Speaker 3: love her anyway. 546 00:25:59,394 --> 00:26:02,194 Speaker 2: Very smart, She's won a million awards for her work. 547 00:26:02,634 --> 00:26:06,354 Speaker 2: It's about mum rage and it's about why motherhood makes 548 00:26:06,434 --> 00:26:08,754 Speaker 2: us angry and what to do about it and the 549 00:26:08,794 --> 00:26:11,554 Speaker 2: thing that struck me about it. It is so well researched. 550 00:26:11,714 --> 00:26:14,834 Speaker 2: When I read it, I thought, this is quality. I 551 00:26:14,834 --> 00:26:17,793 Speaker 2: think I've been spending too much time reading Reddit and 552 00:26:17,914 --> 00:26:21,554 Speaker 2: terrible quality journalism. And it's like a sou of this book. 553 00:26:21,714 --> 00:26:24,154 Speaker 4: So does it include the practical tips on how to 554 00:26:24,234 --> 00:26:25,474 Speaker 4: combat Yes, it does. 555 00:26:25,514 --> 00:26:29,874 Speaker 2: So it starts off with like physiological factors, psychological factors, 556 00:26:29,914 --> 00:26:33,874 Speaker 2: sociological factors. It's so smart. It's so well written, but 557 00:26:33,914 --> 00:26:36,794 Speaker 2: it's not dense or anything. It's quite quite easy to read. 558 00:26:36,874 --> 00:26:38,754 Speaker 2: But then it sort of works its way through like 559 00:26:38,834 --> 00:26:41,794 Speaker 2: what the solutions are. And so if you're a mum 560 00:26:41,874 --> 00:26:44,313 Speaker 2: who's like I don't understand why I'm so angry all 561 00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:47,554 Speaker 2: the time, or I've totally lost myself. It will make 562 00:26:47,594 --> 00:26:49,794 Speaker 2: you feel very seen nice. 563 00:26:49,954 --> 00:26:53,354 Speaker 4: Okay, that sounds amazing. What have you got, Well, I've 564 00:26:53,354 --> 00:26:55,634 Speaker 4: got something that's not especially in you, but I have 565 00:26:55,674 --> 00:26:59,554 Speaker 4: a little treat associated with it. The pit. Oh yeah, 566 00:26:59,594 --> 00:26:59,914 Speaker 4: I know. 567 00:27:00,194 --> 00:27:00,834 Speaker 1: This is I love. 568 00:27:01,434 --> 00:27:06,434 Speaker 4: This is the medical drama on HBO Max, which stars 569 00:27:06,554 --> 00:27:10,194 Speaker 4: Noah Why from Er. It is in the middle of 570 00:27:10,274 --> 00:27:13,474 Speaker 4: its second season. I've just finished the first season. This 571 00:27:13,514 --> 00:27:15,434 Speaker 4: is the kind of show where I'm like staying up 572 00:27:15,514 --> 00:27:17,914 Speaker 4: until one am and then I'm so tired the next day. 573 00:27:17,994 --> 00:27:19,033 Speaker 4: Kind of show like. 574 00:27:19,274 --> 00:27:20,954 Speaker 1: Are you watching it with your partner? 575 00:27:21,354 --> 00:27:24,474 Speaker 4: He sometimes wants to watch, an he sometimes doesn't because 576 00:27:25,034 --> 00:27:27,513 Speaker 4: he works in a hospital and so maybe he finds 577 00:27:27,514 --> 00:27:30,033 Speaker 4: it a little bit like too close to home, but 578 00:27:30,194 --> 00:27:33,114 Speaker 4: he has been impressed by how he feels. It's very 579 00:27:33,154 --> 00:27:35,954 Speaker 4: realistic in its betrayal of hospitals. 580 00:27:35,514 --> 00:27:39,394 Speaker 3: Because it's like one episode is one hour of the day. Yes, right, 581 00:27:39,474 --> 00:27:43,354 Speaker 3: So you're documenting like that and you feel one. 582 00:27:43,514 --> 00:27:47,073 Speaker 4: One shift with them, like through immense ups and downs. 583 00:27:47,594 --> 00:27:52,274 Speaker 4: And I've heard the show described as competency porn. There 584 00:27:52,314 --> 00:27:54,833 Speaker 4: was a Guardian article about this that says there's nothing 585 00:27:54,914 --> 00:27:58,154 Speaker 4: hotter than watching someone do their job really, really well. 586 00:27:58,714 --> 00:28:01,554 Speaker 4: It argues that the reason why we all stopped watching, say, 587 00:28:01,594 --> 00:28:05,394 Speaker 4: Game of Thrones is because the real world started to 588 00:28:05,434 --> 00:28:07,674 Speaker 4: feel like Game of Thrones because it's being run by 589 00:28:07,914 --> 00:28:12,033 Speaker 4: like incompetent, power hungry sociopaths. And so the pit is 590 00:28:12,114 --> 00:28:15,874 Speaker 4: great because it's just about these doctors in Pittsburgh doing 591 00:28:15,914 --> 00:28:19,714 Speaker 4: their job really well, getting on with things, helping people, 592 00:28:19,914 --> 00:28:23,034 Speaker 4: saving lives, and it just makes you feel good, right, 593 00:28:23,194 --> 00:28:27,074 Speaker 4: even though it's very it's very emotionally wrenching, but you 594 00:28:27,194 --> 00:28:29,874 Speaker 4: come away feeling like, because there are people in the 595 00:28:29,914 --> 00:28:32,194 Speaker 4: world who care and are good at their jobs, it 596 00:28:32,274 --> 00:28:33,194 Speaker 4: might all be okay. 597 00:28:33,394 --> 00:28:35,874 Speaker 2: Yeah, the thing I loved about it this might be 598 00:28:35,914 --> 00:28:39,314 Speaker 2: too niche, but is they're always giving feedback to each 599 00:28:39,354 --> 00:28:41,234 Speaker 2: other and it's not always like you did a great 600 00:28:41,314 --> 00:28:43,634 Speaker 2: job with that patient. It's like, pull up your socks, 601 00:28:43,754 --> 00:28:46,834 Speaker 2: get this done. And they all want each other to 602 00:28:46,874 --> 00:28:48,794 Speaker 2: be better all the time. And it's like a good 603 00:28:48,794 --> 00:28:52,034 Speaker 2: example in a workplace of people giving constant feedback to 604 00:28:52,074 --> 00:28:54,074 Speaker 2: make each other better in a way that's not They 605 00:28:54,074 --> 00:28:55,754 Speaker 2: don't sugarcoat anything. 606 00:28:55,634 --> 00:28:58,274 Speaker 4: No, and in fact, their highest compliment is merely when 607 00:28:58,274 --> 00:29:01,034 Speaker 4: one of them calls the other one doctor last name, 608 00:29:01,154 --> 00:29:03,194 Speaker 4: to show like I am giving you this measure of 609 00:29:03,234 --> 00:29:06,514 Speaker 4: respect because you just did a great job. It's not 610 00:29:06,554 --> 00:29:09,034 Speaker 4: at all new. So I'm going to offer as a 611 00:29:09,074 --> 00:29:13,914 Speaker 4: supplementary recommendation for the pit Heads a perfect Saturday Night 612 00:29:13,994 --> 00:29:16,714 Speaker 4: Live take off of it from this past weekend. Did 613 00:29:16,754 --> 00:29:17,474 Speaker 4: you watch this? 614 00:29:17,794 --> 00:29:19,954 Speaker 1: No Harry Styles was on the pit. 615 00:29:21,794 --> 00:29:27,034 Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, so let's just listen to a little grab Okay, yeah, 616 00:29:27,194 --> 00:29:30,434 Speaker 4: Lenny Platterati a birthday party delate breathing blood pressures through 617 00:29:30,434 --> 00:29:34,154 Speaker 4: the roof for people who love the pit site like 618 00:29:34,194 --> 00:29:35,354 Speaker 4: it's true. 619 00:29:34,954 --> 00:29:37,154 Speaker 1: But can't stand it's phony liberal sign. 620 00:29:37,194 --> 00:29:39,314 Speaker 4: It starts going crazy, Chrissy were thrown back to me 621 00:29:39,474 --> 00:29:42,354 Speaker 4: until we have a definitive diagnosis from producer Robert F. 622 00:29:42,434 --> 00:29:45,314 Speaker 2: Kennedy, Julie and the team who want to make America 623 00:29:45,434 --> 00:29:46,114 Speaker 2: healthy again. 624 00:29:47,074 --> 00:29:51,674 Speaker 4: What she needs is a steak. He's protein people, Jimmy 625 00:29:51,754 --> 00:29:53,154 Speaker 4: Beef Tallow and six Ry. 626 00:29:53,034 --> 00:29:59,634 Speaker 1: Extats with Jillian Michaels and the Facebook group Beach Moms 627 00:29:59,634 --> 00:30:00,434 Speaker 1: Against Vaccine. 628 00:30:00,474 --> 00:30:04,354 Speaker 4: Tyran watch the whole thing. 629 00:30:04,394 --> 00:30:07,154 Speaker 1: It's so good, so good, what a good record? So 630 00:30:08,594 --> 00:30:10,154 Speaker 1: mine this week is a bit rogue. 631 00:30:10,194 --> 00:30:12,514 Speaker 3: I feel like they always are We've all been making 632 00:30:12,554 --> 00:30:14,754 Speaker 3: pancakes wrong. There is a new way to do it. 633 00:30:14,874 --> 00:30:17,634 Speaker 3: You've got to make pot cakes. You've got to make them, 634 00:30:17,754 --> 00:30:20,474 Speaker 3: and that's not as sinister as it sounds. So this. 635 00:30:22,034 --> 00:30:24,874 Speaker 1: Mam on TikTok al she and this is her invention. 636 00:30:24,994 --> 00:30:25,434 Speaker 1: It's gone. 637 00:30:25,634 --> 00:30:27,394 Speaker 3: But like I think she had five million views on 638 00:30:27,434 --> 00:30:28,954 Speaker 3: this video of how she makes pancakes. 639 00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:31,394 Speaker 2: That's where you saw it on TikTok Yeah. 640 00:30:31,074 --> 00:30:33,154 Speaker 3: Obviously that's where I spend ninety nine percent of my 641 00:30:33,154 --> 00:30:35,754 Speaker 3: time when I'm not here. She pours the batter into 642 00:30:35,754 --> 00:30:38,874 Speaker 3: a pot instead of into a big wide pan, a 643 00:30:38,954 --> 00:30:41,674 Speaker 3: pot like a saucepan. Yeah, so she does it in 644 00:30:41,714 --> 00:30:44,234 Speaker 3: a saucepan and puts the lead on. Yeah, let's it 645 00:30:44,314 --> 00:30:46,674 Speaker 3: cook on low heat, very low heat for a few 646 00:30:46,674 --> 00:30:48,514 Speaker 3: minutes until it does the bubbly thing, you know, when 647 00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:50,034 Speaker 3: you can see all the bubbles and it's ready to flip. 648 00:30:50,314 --> 00:30:53,994 Speaker 3: Then you flip the whole saucepan upside down into a 649 00:30:54,034 --> 00:30:57,354 Speaker 3: pan and cook the other side. Then you fill up again, 650 00:30:57,434 --> 00:31:00,114 Speaker 3: repeat the process. It means that you're doubling the amount 651 00:31:00,114 --> 00:31:02,314 Speaker 3: of pancakes you're cooking at a time, because one is 652 00:31:02,314 --> 00:31:04,394 Speaker 3: cooking on the other side while you're doing the one 653 00:31:04,394 --> 00:31:07,474 Speaker 3: in the pot and they are all the exact same side. 654 00:31:07,714 --> 00:31:10,234 Speaker 4: That is genius. And what I love about it is 655 00:31:10,234 --> 00:31:13,434 Speaker 4: that it's another container based recommendation from me. When you 656 00:31:13,474 --> 00:31:14,434 Speaker 4: really think about it. 657 00:31:14,434 --> 00:31:17,794 Speaker 3: It is technically technically, but I just loved that she 658 00:31:17,914 --> 00:31:20,434 Speaker 3: did perfect stack because you know, when you try and 659 00:31:20,434 --> 00:31:22,354 Speaker 3: flip them and you're trying to get the spachelor under 660 00:31:22,354 --> 00:31:24,754 Speaker 3: the ends, you screw them up every time by doing 661 00:31:24,754 --> 00:31:26,834 Speaker 3: it that way. So this way you don't have to 662 00:31:26,994 --> 00:31:29,354 Speaker 3: use this bachelor to flip them over. But it's another 663 00:31:29,434 --> 00:31:32,194 Speaker 3: dish to wash it is, but it's one less bachelor, 664 00:31:32,594 --> 00:31:35,274 Speaker 3: so it's technically the same amount of things you're washing up. 665 00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:38,034 Speaker 1: So people are loving it. The people are loving it. Okay, 666 00:31:38,194 --> 00:31:39,794 Speaker 1: I believe it. I believe it. 667 00:31:39,914 --> 00:31:41,834 Speaker 2: That is all we have time for this week in 668 00:31:41,914 --> 00:31:44,314 Speaker 2: Parenting Culture. Thank you for being here and spending your 669 00:31:44,314 --> 00:31:46,194 Speaker 2: time with us, and a big thanks to our team. 670 00:31:46,314 --> 00:31:51,634 Speaker 2: Junior content producer Tessa Kotovich, audio producer Leah Porgus, executive 671 00:31:51,634 --> 00:31:55,914 Speaker 2: producer Sashotanic, and content producer of Podcasts to listibers as 672 00:31:56,354 --> 00:31:58,594 Speaker 2: have a great week, Stacey, have a great week. 673 00:31:58,594 --> 00:31:59,474 Speaker 1: E merely thank you. 674 00:31:59,794 --> 00:32:02,954 Speaker 4: I'm actually thinking of starting to use TikTok because you 675 00:32:02,994 --> 00:32:04,634 Speaker 4: seem to make it sound really fun. 676 00:32:04,754 --> 00:32:07,554 Speaker 3: Yes, just don't even entitate it because you'll get out 677 00:32:07,594 --> 00:32:08,194 Speaker 3: of the vortext. 678 00:32:08,354 --> 00:32:10,394 Speaker 2: I'm actually thinking I'm going to go to playgrounds and 679 00:32:10,434 --> 00:32:11,874 Speaker 2: start telling people what to do. 680 00:32:14,674 --> 00:32:15,994 Speaker 1: Maybe you should make an Easter hat. 681 00:32:16,034 --> 00:32:19,154 Speaker 2: I actually have a great week. We'll see you next 682 00:32:19,154 --> 00:32:19,834 Speaker 2: Saturday morning. 683 00:32:20,114 --> 00:32:24,314 Speaker 1: Bye, Mumma. 684 00:32:24,394 --> 00:32:27,314 Speaker 3: Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which 685 00:32:27,314 --> 00:32:28,674 Speaker 3: we have recorded this podcast.