Speaker 1: So much.
Speaker 2: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mama Mayer acknowledges
Speaker 2: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast
Speaker 2: is recorded.
Speaker 1: On high out Louders. It's Claire Stevens here. It's been
Speaker 1: a little while since I've been in your ears, and
Speaker 1: I've been busy making a new season of my award
Speaker 1: winning podcast But Are You Happy. This season we had
Speaker 1: some incredibly vulnerable chats with some of the biggest names
Speaker 1: in Australia like Josh Thomas, khan Ong and Laura Byrne,
Speaker 1: just to name a few, and I thought i'd share
Speaker 1: with you part one of my conversation with actor, musician
Speaker 1: and mental health advocate Rob Mills. Enjoy and if you
Speaker 1: want more But Are You Happy? There's a link in
Speaker 1: the show notes. The presenting partner of But Are You
Speaker 1: Happy is Audible. Download the Audible app and start listening today.
Speaker 3: I think this is just across the board for everyone,
Speaker 3: and it's definitely for me. When you do the thing,
Speaker 3: when you get to think you're going to be instantly happy,
Speaker 3: you know, happiness is like sadness. This is a fleeting
Speaker 3: thing that comes and goes.
Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to But Are You Happy, the podcast
Speaker 1: that asks the questions you've always wanted to know from
Speaker 1: the people who appear to have it all. Rob Mills
Speaker 1: is actually my boyfriend? No he's not, But when I
Speaker 1: was thirteen, I truly believed he was my boyfriend. Millsy
Speaker 1: was on Australian idol and he was a bad boy,
Speaker 1: which meant he sometimes wore eyeliner. The country fell in
Speaker 1: love with him, and then he came out the other
Speaker 1: side realizing he had been told who he was by
Speaker 1: audiences without ever having the chance to work it out
Speaker 1: for himself. You had that fame, you had kind of
Speaker 1: that external success. Were you happier than you had been previously?
Speaker 2: No, it was way worse.
Speaker 1: Now he's one of the biggest musical theater stars in
Speaker 1: the country. To Rob about the experience of working out
Speaker 1: what it is you really truly want to do, achieving it,
Speaker 1: and then having the media bring the focus back to
Speaker 1: a fleeting moment from the past.
Speaker 2: I remember with this article.
Speaker 3: I made an interview about me finishing the show and
Speaker 3: I was heading over to New York to go and
Speaker 3: do auditions, and the person that interviewed me hadn't even
Speaker 3: seen the show. Wow, I've done it for two years
Speaker 3: and the titles ZI about Paris Hilton.
Speaker 1: We also talk about his relationship with alcohol, the mental
Speaker 1: health crisis facing men, and the magic of falling in love.
Speaker 1: Here's my chat with Rob Mills. Rob Mills, You're an actor,
Speaker 1: a singer, a host and author. You've been a household
Speaker 1: name for over twenty years since your time on Australian
Speaker 1: Idol in two thousand and three. I was prime Australian
Speaker 1: Idol audience. I was absolutely obsessed. I had your poster
Speaker 1: on my wall.
Speaker 2: How were we? Oh?
Speaker 1: I would have been thirteen thirteen, so you're really knew
Speaker 1: your demo was twelve. I've told Gorgie, I'm like, you're
Speaker 1: dating my boyfriend.
Speaker 2: She did tell me. I'm going to bring it up. Okay,
Speaker 2: it's fine.
Speaker 1: Here here is between me and Georgia.
Speaker 2: The space between contractual space.
Speaker 1: Since then, you've had a solo music career as well
Speaker 1: as primetime TV hosting gigs and a role on Neighbors,
Speaker 1: and have gone on to become one of the biggest
Speaker 1: names in Australian musical theater. You released a book in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two and you're currently playing Shakespeare in the
Speaker 1: Australian production of Anguliette, which I saw a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1: That's the big picture stuff, bringing you back to the
Speaker 1: present moment. How are you right now?
Speaker 3: Right now, I'm pretty good. I'm having a sweet treat
Speaker 3: with some lovely humans.
Speaker 2: Here in the office.
Speaker 3: I was up in about caught up with a friend
Speaker 3: this morning. Spoke to Georgie last night.
Speaker 2: When I got home.
Speaker 3: I was like, that was really good little face time
Speaker 3: with living in separate cities at the moment.
Speaker 2: She's in Melbourne, I'm in Sydney.
Speaker 3: If you asked me this a week ago, mate, I
Speaker 3: was low as I've had this cold and sickness. I
Speaker 3: was off work. I was having a really, really tough time.
Speaker 2: If I'm being.
Speaker 3: Brutally honest, I had suicidal thoughts for the very first
Speaker 3: time in like seventeen years.
Speaker 2: Wow, on stage during a show. What I say, suicidal thoughts.
Speaker 2: I will also clarify.
Speaker 3: This as a fleeting thought, which was clearly irrational.
Speaker 2: In the moment.
Speaker 3: There would have been a lack of food in my
Speaker 3: stomach because of the show schedule, but also just I
Speaker 3: was exhausted.
Speaker 2: I was so tired.
Speaker 3: I miss Georgie, I miss life like I work every
Speaker 3: single night. I give my heart and soul to this production,
Speaker 3: which I love so much. But at this moment, I like,
Speaker 3: I just can't do this. And I was like, why
Speaker 3: is my body failing me? Why am I sore every day? Anyway,
Speaker 3: it was just this really crazy moment last week, Mate,
Speaker 3: and I got on the scooter on the way home,
Speaker 3: calling Georgia.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, this is very hard. I just so
Speaker 2: I was a mess, an absolute mess. Anyway.
Speaker 3: The following day, I was like, I probably just needed
Speaker 3: a really big cry, and I'm a big cry, Like
Speaker 3: it's releasing the pressure valve in your life and you're like, ah, cool, cool, cool,
Speaker 3: feel better. But at the moment, this week fantastic. And
Speaker 3: as I said, it's just obviously a build up over.
Speaker 2: Time.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it was a really scary moment though, having
Speaker 3: not had any of those kind of thoughts for many, many,
Speaker 3: many years, and yeah, now feeling like, oh great, okay.
Speaker 2: I'm just exhausted. Sickness. Does that makes you feel very irrational?
Speaker 2: Like a sleep makes you feel those things?
Speaker 1: You know this as a young one, Yes, And I've
Speaker 1: always thought that. I notice every time I get sick,
Speaker 1: like fluey or anything like that. I think I have depression,
Speaker 1: and I think it is actually like inflammation of the
Speaker 1: brain and that kind of thing, and you have to
Speaker 1: remember that it passes. But in the moment it is
Speaker 1: so distressing. In a moment like that where you're on stage,
Speaker 1: do you feel almost trapped by the stakes of what
Speaker 1: you're doing, like you can't stop.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean there's the moment on stage like at
Speaker 3: least I know I have the show, Like I can
Speaker 3: just sit in this character for a bit longer.
Speaker 2: The character gets yelled at by.
Speaker 1: His wife, and you're probably like, don't yell.
Speaker 2: Which about it worse.
Speaker 3: But also like I was like, I just as I said,
Speaker 3: rational Robbers, like you're doing the pit the character, and
Speaker 3: then I see can't stop the feeling, and I'm like, oh, I.
Speaker 1: Got the feeling.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I've got this feeling so funny.
Speaker 3: Yes's so funny, so strange, But there's also the security
Speaker 3: of the character. I suppose if you're not going out
Speaker 3: there but doing the same thing over and over again
Speaker 3: can sometimes feel a bit like groundhog Day. But like,
Speaker 3: luckily for me in this show, it is full of
Speaker 3: joy and wonder and love and hope and positivity and progressiveness.
Speaker 3: It takes all these boxes you said about feeling depression.
Speaker 3: Of this is where they get thrown around quite a lot.
Speaker 3: There are different levels of this. There is new ones
Speaker 3: to any kind of sadness or your up and your downs.
Speaker 3: And I think if sometimes people forget that it's okay
Speaker 3: to just be.
Speaker 2: Sad just for a moment. Yeah. I think it's that
Speaker 2: movie Inside Out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that really cemented that
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, sadness just plays a really important
Speaker 3: role in your life. You have to have sadness or
Speaker 3: else you can't have joy. Yeah, and they have to
Speaker 3: be best friends. Well, they don't have to be best friends,
Speaker 3: but you know, I mean, like, it's okay to sit
Speaker 3: in the sadness for a bit. If it goes on
Speaker 3: for a long time, it's definitely worth seeking help and
Speaker 3: talking to friends and counselors or psychologists, rabbi whoever you've got.
Speaker 3: But to diagnose yourself with depression, I think is problematic.
Speaker 3: And I think a lot of people go I'm depressed, Like,
Speaker 3: go for a run. Do you feel better after the run?
Speaker 2: You're probably just a bit sad.
Speaker 1: And to acknowledge that it is just a state that.
Speaker 2: You move through, yeah, into instead.
Speaker 1: Of I think the thing is when you feel really low,
Speaker 1: you tell yourself it's forever and you cannot imagine your
Speaker 1: mood ever changing. But the nature of being human is
Speaker 1: that we move through all these different emotions in a
Speaker 1: day and they can be quite extreme.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and for the people who are struggling with that, definitely, yes,
Speaker 3: seek help. I'd put your hand up and say a
Speaker 3: should not doing so well at the moment, and then
Speaker 3: you might get some clarity from that. You're like, oh,
Speaker 3: I was just in a moment and now I'm okay.
Speaker 3: As I said, my thing the other night on stage
Speaker 3: was just a moment. As I said, I'm pretty self aware.
Speaker 3: Like I've done a lot of work with so collegist
Speaker 3: over the years. I've got a great psychotherapist. Now in
Speaker 3: that moment, I was.
Speaker 2: Like, ah, yep, I was just having a moment.
Speaker 3: And knowing that I had that moment and just knowing
Speaker 3: that I needed to talk to my person and talk
Speaker 3: it through was yeah, quite confronting, but also therapeutic for
Speaker 3: both of us as well.
Speaker 1: You were the heart throg of Australian idol.
Speaker 2: Oh thank you.
Speaker 1: Were you twenty one when you were on that show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just turned twenty one. I was twenty with
Speaker 3: my first audition. I turned twenty one before I went
Speaker 3: to Sydney.
Speaker 2: You go to Sydney.
Speaker 1: I remember. It's so vividly. What did the public not
Speaker 1: see about that experience? Like, I can't imagine what the
Speaker 1: actual day to day reality was of being on that show.
Speaker 3: We were really busy, Like there was so much publicity
Speaker 3: and stuff that we had to do little stories every day,
Speaker 3: Like the producers were pulling a left, right and center
Speaker 3: to go and do stuff. And the singing was really
Speaker 3: the small part of it. We're saying for a minute
Speaker 3: and a half. And I found that really strange as
Speaker 3: a kid who spent the last three years singing in pubs,
Speaker 3: singing thirty forty songs a night, three or four nights
Speaker 3: a week, I only have to sing.
Speaker 2: For a minute and a half. Sure, let's get a
Speaker 2: little beers, Like.
Speaker 1: It's so weird that it was only a minute and
Speaker 1: a half, Yet to audiences it felt like that was
Speaker 1: your whole week. It's really strange looking back on it,
Speaker 1: that it was such a fleeting moment and it would
Speaker 1: have been so easy to stuff up that minute and
Speaker 1: a half.
Speaker 3: I remember thinking like afterwards, like, you know, people talk
Speaker 3: about you fifteen minutes of fame.
Speaker 2: I actually calculated it.
Speaker 3: I was like, it literally was fifteen minutes of singing
Speaker 3: time on stage. Wow, which is wild to be. What
Speaker 3: they didn't see probably a precocious, super inquisitive young kid.
Speaker 3: I think they sort of painted me a little bit
Speaker 3: as the boy next or maybe a party boy kind
Speaker 3: of guy, which I kind of was as well. So
Speaker 3: I spent the last three years singing in pubs. I
Speaker 3: didn't really have weekends. My weekends were working. So it's
Speaker 3: the first time I'd ever been in a plane before.
Speaker 3: First time I'd like met all these new people, and
Speaker 3: I'm super extroverted, so if there's people around, my energy
Speaker 3: is up. So I spent so much time in the
Speaker 3: van with the director and learning from the camera guys,
Speaker 3: talking to the producers about what they were doing. I
Speaker 3: was super inquisitive about how they're creating the show. And
Speaker 3: as soon as I heard guy Sebastian sing, I was like, what.
Speaker 2: Am I doing here? It's like, I'm not going to win.
Speaker 2: So I just remember going I'm here for the ride.
Speaker 1: What was it like to go on a show and
Speaker 1: develop this profile and then have people tell you who
Speaker 1: you are before you know who you are.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think it's healthy.
Speaker 3: Every time I've gone and talked to kids at schools,
Speaker 3: like the performing out schools, whatever, I teach workshops and
Speaker 3: I get asked, you know, would you recommend my daughter
Speaker 3: or do you recommend me going on the show?
Speaker 2: I was like, do you have a good sense of self?
Speaker 2: They're like, I don't know what that is? Is Like
Speaker 2: then no already.
Speaker 3: So if you have self confidence, great, But I always
Speaker 3: talk about self worth, which is just knowing what your
Speaker 3: value is or your integrity or your reputation. Like, growing
Speaker 3: your self worth will lead to your self confidence. So
Speaker 3: you read more books or like listen to music and
Speaker 3: understand why you like these songs or understand why they
Speaker 3: resonate with you, which is really difficult to know all
Speaker 3: that stuff as a teenager. I don't think your brain
Speaker 3: is quite developed yet. So yeah, my advice is always
Speaker 3: try and work out who you are as a person,
Speaker 3: which evidently will change over time as well, but when
Speaker 3: you're younger it's much harder to get it set.
Speaker 1: A sense of self, is it something that you have
Speaker 1: even going into something like Australian Idol and the years
Speaker 1: before that. When you're performing, do you experience any jealousy
Speaker 1: or competitiveness or comparison in the context.
Speaker 2: Of no, not, okay, how this is weird. Not in
Speaker 2: the real world, but when I see it online.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I'm on my phone, then I feel a
Speaker 3: pang of jealousy or like foma or whatever. Wow.
Speaker 2: So it's really strange.
Speaker 3: If I see it just in the world, like I
Speaker 3: see like a performer before, like this is amazing, You're incredible.
Speaker 3: I never go I want to do that. I'm like,
Speaker 3: you are doing that, So that's okay, you are before.
Speaker 2: That's fine. But like there's something about seeing it online.
Speaker 2: I have a weird reaction to it. Every now and again.
Speaker 1: I kind of get that, Like if I'm seeing somebody
Speaker 1: in person and they're at their best, I have a
Speaker 1: weird sense of that's you. You do you, I do me,
Speaker 1: Whereas when I see something online, there's something about the
Speaker 1: flattened sense of reality where you're not really seeing the
Speaker 1: difference between who they are and who you are. You're
Speaker 1: just making kind of a snap comparison. Yeah, I totally
Speaker 1: get that. Weird, right, That's when I find myself feeling shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I hadn't thought of that before.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you asked me that question, But yeah, I think
Speaker 3: that's a strange phenomenon. Hence why I've maybe deleted Instagram
Speaker 3: in the last week and I'm having the best week.
Speaker 2: I just I just don't care.
Speaker 3: Not It's not like I don't care, but like, I've
Speaker 3: got a great job. You know, the marketing team is
Speaker 3: doing a great job with the Angeliette stuff. People know
Speaker 3: what I'm doing the show. At the moment, my life
Speaker 3: is literally get up, do some exercise, and go to
Speaker 3: the show.
Speaker 2: A lot of people want to know how my day is.
Speaker 2: A lot of people don't want to know about my.
Speaker 1: Day because you grew up without social media, you were
Speaker 1: just yeah, and because I'm very grateful that I grew
Speaker 1: up without it. Have you kind of seen how that,
Speaker 1: especially in your industry, how that plays with how you
Speaker 1: feel about yourself and feel about what you do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a really weird one because most artists, entertainers,
Speaker 3: or people have a creative people have a sort of
Speaker 3: creative flair, but we also have this weird imposter syndrome
Speaker 3: that comes with it.
Speaker 2: It's like the double edged sword.
Speaker 3: Maybe and I struggle with it at times to like,
Speaker 3: I love being part of the team. I grew up
Speaker 3: playing team sports baseball and cricket and footy, and Ozi
Speaker 3: RULs I should point out, and I love being part
Speaker 3: of the team. And a musical does that for me.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm the back pocket player, small bit parts. Sometimes
Speaker 3: I'm the full forward and being part of the teams
Speaker 3: are like I can't do my job without the lighting person.
Speaker 3: I can't do my job with that sound person. We're
Speaker 3: all cogs in the machine. And I like being part
Speaker 3: of that. Social media what it does is it's all you.
Speaker 2: It's just you.
Speaker 3: Everyone is becoming their own brand and they see that's
Speaker 3: the only way to success these days, not so much
Speaker 3: this is the way to be famous, but this is
Speaker 3: the way to success. This is how you make your money,
Speaker 3: This is how you get free things, this is how
Speaker 3: you exist in the world. But like, is it because
Speaker 3: we still exist in the world world, Like, how does
Speaker 3: that skill set make them a better person or connect
Speaker 3: better with people? And I see it across the board
Speaker 3: that so many are doing that at connecting with people
Speaker 3: and the becoming a community of people. But I fear
Speaker 3: sometimes yeah, with social media it just makes you more
Speaker 3: narcissistic and it makes you more individualized, when really we
Speaker 3: know scientifically it's been proven if you want to live
Speaker 3: a longer, happier life. Community, yeah, real community, real physical contact,
Speaker 3: real humans in the rooms together. All this working from
Speaker 3: home stuff is just dispose my mind. But like, we
Speaker 3: need people, yea, even introverts.
Speaker 1: I just yes, and I'm an introvert, but I think
Speaker 1: that idea of there's a selflessness that comes into play
Speaker 1: when you are a cog in a machine. I've noticed
Speaker 1: it in the workplace a little bit. It reminds me
Speaker 1: a lot of team sports. And I always say, I
Speaker 1: reckon you can tell people who played team sports and
Speaker 1: they were growing up because when you're in a team
Speaker 1: and you might say to somebody, hey, can you fill
Speaker 1: in on that shift, like because so and so sick?
Speaker 1: And there are two types of people. There's the person
Speaker 1: who says, oh, yeah, I'm part of the team and
Speaker 1: I see what the team is working towards and that help, yes.
Speaker 1: And then there's a person who's like, but that's inconvenient
Speaker 1: for me, while would I do that? And it's so
Speaker 1: interesting And I can see in musical theater you have
Speaker 1: to be that first type of person you have to
Speaker 1: be because you're working for such a long period of
Speaker 1: time together. No one wants to work with that person
Speaker 1: who's just in it for themselves, which is interesting because
Speaker 1: at the same time you're a performer and you're getting
Speaker 1: applauded at the end of the night, and it's.
Speaker 2: Should point it.
Speaker 3: It's the only job in the world where you finish
Speaker 3: a shift and someone goes someone it's the weirdest jealous
Speaker 3: I just clocked off people, I think many years ago,
Speaker 3: and I think I still think it's a good idea
Speaker 3: where you go out and give stanting ovations to people
Speaker 3: when they finish their job at the office.
Speaker 1: Chairs, well done, well done. I deserve it. At the
Speaker 1: end of the day of parenting, if my daughter could
Speaker 1: just give me a round of applause before she goes
Speaker 1: to bed, that would be well.
Speaker 3: Just put it on the screen, or like have a
Speaker 3: have a flash mob of people that just come with chairs.
Speaker 2: They just get up with everybody.
Speaker 1: Everyone deserves it. After the break, Rob tells us what
Speaker 1: happened after Idle when he performed at a concert I
Speaker 1: was incidentally at, and how getting the thing is not
Speaker 1: a recipe for happiness. We also chat about his frustration
Speaker 1: with the media's focus on his fleeing with a Hollywood celebrity.
Speaker 1: Everyone has something that helps them relax and go to
Speaker 1: their happy place, and for me it's reading. But sometimes
Speaker 1: there isn't time to actually sit down and soak up
Speaker 1: a book, and for many of us, we need both
Speaker 1: hands free a lot of the time, which is why
Speaker 1: listening to audiobooks is such a relaxing but also efficient
Speaker 1: use of my time. With Audible, you can immerse yourself
Speaker 1: in a range of different worlds and topics while you're exercising, driving,
Speaker 1: or running errands. It's multitasking at its finest. You can
Speaker 1: dive into inspirational listens like Ash Barty's memoir My dream
Speaker 1: Time narrated by Miranda Tapsle, or figure out how to
Speaker 1: finally find balance in life with Can't Hurt Me by
Speaker 1: David Goggins. Download the Audible app and start listening today.
Speaker 1: Membership fees apply. See Audible dot com dot au for details.
Speaker 1: You've gone from Australian idol, you become a household name.
Speaker 1: You have a solo music career, Australia is obsessed with you.
Speaker 2: Well, I wouldn't say obsessed. The album only went gold,
Speaker 2: not not even golds.
Speaker 1: There were a whole lot of people obsessed with you.
Speaker 1: How do you not turn into a complete nasist? How
Speaker 1: does that not totally?
Speaker 2: You can tell you right now.
Speaker 3: I've got two older brothers and older cousins, and we're
Speaker 3: a pretty tight knit family. Like I would say, my
Speaker 3: cousins are like brothers and sisters to me as well.
Speaker 3: So my oldest brother Chris, he's very good at keeping
Speaker 3: me grounded. He'd never let me get too big for
Speaker 3: my boots and just kept it real, I would say,
Speaker 3: sometimes to the point of like you can actually just give.
Speaker 2: You some complience, like it's just some combam, it's to
Speaker 2: be nice. No, but that was really helpful.
Speaker 3: There was a weird period though, where did I say
Speaker 3: my fame was lots, you know, during idle and I
Speaker 3: don't think he knew.
Speaker 2: How to deal with that. You know, you have a
Speaker 2: dynamic with your sister or sibling or whatever, right one
Speaker 2: of you is more alfa.
Speaker 3: You just sort of have the dynamic, right, And it
Speaker 3: was weird because I became the more popular person and
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I don't sit well in this.
Speaker 2: I'm a better kind of person right, Like, I don't know.
Speaker 3: My personality, so I will fit whatever needs to be fit,
Speaker 3: kind of like Georgie where the pretzel, Right.
Speaker 2: If you need a leader, I'll be your leader. But
Speaker 2: I'm a reluctant leader.
Speaker 3: But I'm much happier being the wallflower, joky person right than.
Speaker 2: The leader type.
Speaker 3: Anyway, So that shifted for a while when I was
Speaker 3: sort of I don't know, knowing more about the world,
Speaker 3: but not knowing more about the world than my brother.
Speaker 3: And then it shifted back we started having kids, and
Speaker 3: then I was like, oh, great, you can now be
Speaker 3: the guy.
Speaker 1: You could be the grown up.
Speaker 2: You can be the grown up.
Speaker 3: And now we've got to an equilibrium of equalness, which
Speaker 3: is great. We talk money, we talk kids, we talk
Speaker 3: all the adult stuff, which is really really helpful. But yeah,
Speaker 3: there was a weird period there which had to acknowledge,
Speaker 3: you know, years later with therapy. It was like, oh cool, cool, cool,
Speaker 3: that was what was weird, and we didn't really talk
Speaker 3: about it until years later and go on our brother
Speaker 3: walks and you know, oh, yeah, that was a weird time.
Speaker 1: When you do have this really public success, I always
Speaker 1: think this really public success, I can imagine you go
Speaker 1: to like family gatherings and everyone's like, I saw you
Speaker 1: on the television and you're getting a whole lot of attention.
Speaker 1: Do you think it makes people around you feel like shit?
Speaker 1: Do you think it made your brother feel like shit?
Speaker 2: Possibly?
Speaker 3: No, he's pretty good at keeping in his strike. I
Speaker 3: think he was okay with it. I think it was
Speaker 3: kind of like he would always say, you're.
Speaker 2: My younger brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not Mills's brother.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, Chris brother, which was always good
Speaker 3: at keeping it real. We talked about this in the past,
Speaker 3: and I think he's always been okay. Well, I think
Speaker 3: he's pretty proud, but yeah, the family gathering is a
Speaker 3: weird because also people ask you questions and you forget you.
Speaker 2: Also have to ask questions, yep, yep.
Speaker 3: And I think I went through a period of that
Speaker 3: where I just talked about myself and this is probably
Speaker 3: through my twenties early thirties and started getting therapy.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you're not a good person.
Speaker 3: Not a good person, but you know, like if you
Speaker 3: want more from people, you need to do the work.
Speaker 2: It's weird because you're.
Speaker 3: Constantly on all the time when you're doing a gig
Speaker 3: or post the show or like and then you're like,
Speaker 3: I've got an energy to I don't have any more
Speaker 3: to ask of anyone else.
Speaker 1: It's weird with fame because people have kind of a shortcut.
Speaker 1: It's like a shortcut to intimacy. So people know a
Speaker 1: sort of surface level things about you, so it's like
Speaker 1: a fast track to ask you certain questions. And I
Speaker 1: notice it even with industry things, that it's really easy
Speaker 1: to go up to someone and say I heard you
Speaker 1: on a podcast and connect with them, and then you think,
Speaker 1: hold on, the person next to you is just as
Speaker 1: interesting as you and the plus one Yeah.
Speaker 2: Exactly, all the plus ones out there bloody love you. Yes,
Speaker 2: and you do a lot of heavy lifting yes for
Speaker 2: the friendship.
Speaker 1: And you think it's a bit dicky to kind of
Speaker 1: only talk to this person who you have this surface
Speaker 1: level of things that you know, did you find after
Speaker 1: idle you had that fame, you had that external success.
Speaker 1: Were you happier than you had been previously?
Speaker 2: No, it was way worse.
Speaker 3: Like if you don't have a good sense of self,
Speaker 3: you know, and everyone has this sort of an idea
Speaker 3: of who you are, and you're just floundering like, but you're.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, you're this party. I'm like, I'm really not.
Speaker 3: And then you drink a lot and then alcohol is
Speaker 3: a depressant and then you're like, Okay, this is also
Speaker 3: not good either. I don't want to beat this party
Speaker 3: boy a very sad place to be. Also, no one
Speaker 3: knows who I am.
Speaker 2: I don't know who am I.
Speaker 3: That was when I had a pretty horrific moment of like,
Speaker 3: that was the very first time.
Speaker 2: I thought about maybe just ended Robert, just end it.
Speaker 3: In a hotel room in the Gold Coast at Indie
Speaker 3: Weekend after I got kicked the show, it was just terrifying,
Speaker 3: And remember calling my brother and just needed to hear
Speaker 3: a familiar voice and really not knowing what I just felt,
Speaker 3: but it was definitely a That balcony door was open.
Speaker 2: And I ran to it.
Speaker 3: I was like quickly slammed at shot and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: this is a real panic.
Speaker 2: Attack, this is real. Didn't tell my brother what had happened.
Speaker 3: I just needed to hear his voice and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm just said Indie having a good time, it's going great.
Speaker 3: Never again will I ever lie to myself or yeah,
Speaker 3: especially to my loved ones. That's why I called Georgie
Speaker 3: straightaway the other day. So it was a happier No,
Speaker 3: lots of things were happening, you know. We did a
Speaker 3: tour of like the country and all the bigger I
Speaker 3: went an amazing concert.
Speaker 2: Right, it was so much fun. Great. I was like
Speaker 2: it was just all these kids, just it was so great.
Speaker 3: We sold out Rod Labor, like not as many times
Speaker 3: as Pink, but then we had two sold out shows
Speaker 3: at Rod Labor. Yeah, we got paid two thousand dollars
Speaker 3: a night.
Speaker 2: Amazing.
Speaker 1: You would have been like eye rolling in it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, how much money did make off your path?
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Have there been times where there's been negative attention on
Speaker 1: you and you've felt it in your day to day life?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I still feel like ack when someone mentions Paris Hilton,
Speaker 3: especially if I'm with.
Speaker 2: Georgie or I'm just out.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, this is over twenty years ago for
Speaker 3: someone I was with like a day, Like, yep, do
Speaker 3: you want to talk about someone that you were with
Speaker 3: in high school twenty years ago?
Speaker 2: What is this for?
Speaker 3: Even if it's like a congratulatory thing, I find that toxic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, there's like great.
Speaker 1: And quite sexist, dehumanizing to her yeah yeah yeah, and.
Speaker 2: Me and to Georgie, who's right here?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that just always makes you go ah, yuck. And
Speaker 3: I think for a while I was like, who am
Speaker 3: I with that? It's like, I want to be someone.
Speaker 3: I want to be someone who's it, has a good
Speaker 3: work ethic. I want to be someone who performs, who entertains,
Speaker 3: who makes people laugh, it makes people feel good. That
Speaker 3: doesn't make me feel good, like I'm working towards making
Speaker 3: people feel good.
Speaker 2: Why you why are you making me feel yuck?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the only time, as I said, that happens
Speaker 3: very rare. It's usually like in pubs around blokes. Blokes,
Speaker 3: please read my book realize that this behavior is, yes,
Speaker 3: not great.
Speaker 1: We often ask on this podcast about a time the
Speaker 1: world told you you'd be happy and you weren't. When
Speaker 1: you kind of hear that, are there any moments that
Speaker 1: come to mind?
Speaker 3: I think this is just across the board for everyone,
Speaker 3: and it's definitely for me. When you do the thing,
Speaker 3: when you get the thing, you're going to be instantly happy.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Happiness is like sadness.
Speaker 3: There's a fleeting thing that comes and girls, I was
Speaker 3: so happy when I got Wicked because it completely changed
Speaker 3: my life.
Speaker 2: Right at the end of it.
Speaker 3: I remember there's that article I made an interview about
Speaker 3: me finishing the show and was heading over to New
Speaker 3: York to go and do auditions, and the person that
Speaker 3: interviewed me hadn't even seen the show. Wow, I've done
Speaker 3: it for two years and the titles something about Paris Hilton,
Speaker 3: Rob might be catching up.
Speaker 2: Like no, Rob, it's not catching up with her. He's
Speaker 2: not even seeing he's going to New York.
Speaker 3: I remember, like I was meant to be so happy
Speaker 3: because I was finishing the show, like, and I was
Speaker 3: so sad.
Speaker 2: I cried the whole day. It was my last day
Speaker 2: at work. I was like, what is happening?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but going back to the I thing, like you
Speaker 3: will always think that you were going to be happier
Speaker 3: when you get the thing, but you're not. And that's okay,
Speaker 3: you are you should also Andally Georgie has been very
Speaker 3: good about this because I have always lived in a
Speaker 3: gig economy, so you do the gig and then you're
Speaker 3: looking for the next gig. Always She's like, you got
Speaker 3: to stop and celebrate the wins.
Speaker 1: So when you do, like right, now we're in Anguliette.
Speaker 1: There's something fascinating about being on stage, the adrenaline rush
Speaker 1: you get, the being the center of attention, and then
Speaker 1: right now, for example, are you living on your own
Speaker 1: while Georgie's in Melbourne? Yeah, yeah, yeah, is there a
Speaker 1: bit of a calmdown?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm pretty lonely at the moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Facetiming Georgia quite a lot, and then catching up with mates,
Speaker 3: but there has to be early mornings because a.
Speaker 2: Lot of them go to work.
Speaker 3: You can go catch up with someone on the weekend,
Speaker 3: but then you've got two shows on the Saturday and
Speaker 3: then you've got to so you need to like this
Speaker 3: is that I'm extroverted, so I do need outside energy
Speaker 3: from people energy vampire.
Speaker 2: I'm not like that.
Speaker 3: But then you need to conserve your own energy for
Speaker 3: the show because you need that for the show. So
Speaker 3: you need to make sure you're not talking too much
Speaker 3: because you need your voice to sing. It's a balance.
Speaker 3: I think this will be my last one for a while,
Speaker 3: just because of life circumstances, and I don't think I
Speaker 3: can do the distance again.
Speaker 2: It's too hard.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been in Singapore Perth and now Sydney, so
Speaker 3: for the better part of a year we've lived apart.
Speaker 1: Is it tricky wanting to things at once? Because from
Speaker 1: the outside, yeah, it feels like you and Georgie are
Speaker 1: obviously two people who Georgie, for anyone listening, is a
Speaker 1: host on the project and is an established journalist in
Speaker 1: her own right, and both of you are very career focused,
Speaker 1: and your careers are in two different places. I can't
Speaker 1: imagine what that's like to navigate every decision knowing that
Speaker 1: there's a very real cost. And I guess you're pursuing
Speaker 1: something that makes you happy, but there's a big component
Speaker 1: of it that challenges your happiness.
Speaker 3: It's the and every psychologist will tell you this compromise.
Speaker 3: It's the common promise that you make with your partner.
Speaker 3: What is the common promise? What are the non negotiables
Speaker 3: or the negotiables? And do we need to schedule in
Speaker 3: time for us? What does that look like? Is it
Speaker 3: in a Monday morning, is it after the show on
Speaker 3: a Thursday night?
Speaker 2: You know, what does that look like?
Speaker 3: How much contact hours can we have do we need
Speaker 3: in order for us to maintain a healthy, lovely, sexy
Speaker 3: relate like we're still young enough to you know, like
Speaker 3: how do we do that bit of it as well?
Speaker 2: Geordie said, do not talk about our sex. I think
Speaker 2: I shared way too much in the last podcast.
Speaker 3: It's difficult, but yeah, it's writing your lists and scheduling
Speaker 3: your schedules, which is hard because we're both have schedules
Speaker 3: done for us, and then it's like, all right, what
Speaker 3: are our schedules? And that's yeah, that's sometimes tough because
Speaker 3: also she needs downtime and I need energy.
Speaker 1: So so she's trying to relax and you're like, hey, hey, yeah.
Speaker 3: And then we talked about this with my psych the
Speaker 3: other day, and I think this is really important for
Speaker 3: people who are doing long distance relationships or even just
Speaker 3: couples who can't spend as much time as possible with
Speaker 3: each other. When you come together, there's this is immense
Speaker 3: pressure to make it a thing, that it has to
Speaker 3: be a date night and it has to be perfect,
Speaker 3: that it has to end in this most wild and
Speaker 3: passionate sex that we haven't had in ages, when really
Speaker 3: you shouldn't put the pressure on it, because what if
Speaker 3: it's just you just need to hang out, h TV
Speaker 3: and eat pizza and that's enough. Was in Melbourne the
Speaker 3: other day and I reckon, I fell asleep within half
Speaker 3: an hour being on the couch, Like it was the
Speaker 3: best sleep I've had in months.
Speaker 2: So maybe that's that's all you need.
Speaker 1: When did you know that Georgie was different slash that
Speaker 1: Georgie was the one?
Speaker 3: I think it was like after a couple of dates,
Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, she doesn't like the thing that
Speaker 3: we're in, Like it doesn't not like it, it just is.
Speaker 3: It's not a I am not striving for more fame
Speaker 3: or celebrity or for more things. This is just part
Speaker 3: of my life, part of my job, and I love that.
Speaker 3: I was like, you don't meet many people now that
Speaker 3: everyone's like how many followers he likes to get have
Speaker 3: any The word was obsessed with social media and your presence,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, can't just be a job and then
Speaker 3: can we just do other stuff that's not online and stuff?
Speaker 3: And I don't think we even talked about it. I
Speaker 3: think it's just the way she presented her world in
Speaker 3: her life and talked about her friends. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: you're like me, You're just like a little nerd, Like
Speaker 3: he's just doing a good job and just wants the
Speaker 3: world to be a good place and like you like
Speaker 3: good art and good movies and films.
Speaker 2: And I was like, and.
Speaker 3: You think deeply about things and you write it down
Speaker 3: and we talk about her like oh, and she sent
Speaker 3: me some books. She gave me some books to read
Speaker 3: while I was overseas. We started dating. I think within
Speaker 3: a couple of months.
Speaker 2: I was on an overseas trip with a mate, which.
Speaker 3: I was really planning on, you know, having a good
Speaker 3: time oseas, and I, god, damn, I've been a really
Speaker 3: good one.
Speaker 2: She gave me on the Jellico Road.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and The.
Speaker 3: Perks of Being a Wallflower and I read them on
Speaker 3: the trips, like these are very good books. Like it
Speaker 3: was the one the quote from Persiving a Wallflower.
Speaker 1: We get the love we think we just yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: And I was like.
Speaker 3: Round yeah, because if you think that you're not great,
Speaker 3: you know, deserve love, you're never going to get it,
Speaker 3: or we're going to get a yuck kind of love.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, that's you. Yeah, I think
Speaker 2: that was it.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I found her, I found it.
Speaker 1: I'm crying, thank you, thank you, thank you, so much
Speaker 1: for listening to part one of my interview with Rob Mills.
Speaker 1: In part two of this episode, Rob Mills talks about
Speaker 1: his relationship with TV presenter Georgie Tunney and gives us
Speaker 1: a sneak peek into their wedding planning. He also shares
Speaker 1: his thoughts on why it's so important for men to
Speaker 1: open up about their mental health, and reflects on his
Speaker 1: journey with his sexuality after years media speculation. If you
Speaker 1: want to listen to that, or any of the other
Speaker 1: incredible interviews we had this season, there's a link in
Speaker 1: the show notes