WEBVTT - Be Honest, How Bad Was It Going From One To Two? 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.080 We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land. We're recording 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:03.720 on today. 0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:10.000 When you're a first time mom, you're learning how to 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:11.960 be a mom and your baby's learning how to be 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:15.120 a baby. But when you're a second time mom, your 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:16.919 baby's still learning how to be a baby, but you 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:21.000 already know how to be a mom. 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:24.799 Hello, and welcome back to Eat, Sleep, Shit, Repeat, a 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:29.320 wildly unhinged podcast about the madness that is motherhood and 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:30.800 everything in between. 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:32.440 I'm Kelly McCarron and. 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:34.720 I'm Key Researls. And in case she missed it, last week, 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:38.640 we spoke about raising biracial or multi racial kids in 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:41.720 Australia and we spoke to our lovely shit of Juliet 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:45.040 who shared her experience. So I hope that our shit 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:46.400 is loved it too. 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:48.720 It was such a good episode and I just love 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.800 that we get to chat about such a diverse range 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:52.360 of topics. 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:54.040 Yes, diverse, get it. 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:58.840 Diverse love We love the diversity. Well, today we're delving 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:02.200 into what it's real like going from one to two, 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:03.960 How do you decide to grow your family? Are you 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:08.600 ever even ready? And what was it like? Honestly, but first, 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.560 my peek and pit. I thought I might start with 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:12.039 my pit. 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:14.600 Well, yes, that's the way that we always should do it, 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:16.280 I think, so that we're not ending on a. 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:20.039 Me and I just want to also say it's not 0:01:20.120 --> 0:01:24.319 as depressing as my previous pit. That's somewhere to start. 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:29.000 Things are looking up, things are logging up. Basically, I've 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:31.000 come to the conclusion that I will need to put 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:32.800 rue into an extra day of daycare. 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:36.240 And remember last year when you thought you'd only need 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:36.639 the two. 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:38.479 Days, Yeah, well thank god I went up to three 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:41.720 because I would have been really left. She's currently in 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:44.880 Monday to Wednesday, and then I have two days with 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:47.760 her Thursday Friday. We often will pick up an extra 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:50.080 day based on like how busy my work week is. 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:53.880 But it's just proving to me that it's practically every 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.320 week where I'm considering putting your in an extra day, 0:01:56.800 --> 0:01:59.280 and then you've got the stress of not knowing if 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:02.840 that day's of AILA exactly. And more and more people 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:06.400 are on waiting lists, and usually the Thursday and Friday 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:08.320 of the days that tend to come up that they 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:10.680 just say, well take these days. So I'm like, shit, 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:13.640 I need to make a decision really soon. What kind 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:17.320 of pushed me down that decision making funnel, if you will, 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:22.680 is that last week, the feeling and the accomplishment and 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:26.280 the confidence I had and in just having that extra 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:27.600 day of work and being able to. 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:30.040 You were smashing it out. She was like just standing 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:32.799 through this bah blah blah blah, like, yes, on top 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:34.200 of everything exactly. 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:36.520 And I think what I've been realized is that I've 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:39.440 been really chasing my tail. I've been trying a good 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:41.760 feeling so hard. No, it just makes you feel like 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:45.920 you're everything exactly because it seeps into every aspect and 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:47.720 then the time that I do have with rue, like 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:50.760 if she's sleeping on a Thursday or Friday, I'm doing. 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:52.000 Something in all lunch age. 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:55.160 Yeah, And I'm working every night after I put her 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:58.119 to bed, and then quite often I'll get up early 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:00.240 in the morning to get ahead, and it's just not 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:04.160 feasible anymore. Like I need to have more days that 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:06.840 are dedicated to work so that I can be a 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:09.040 better mum in the time that I am, and also 0:03:09.160 --> 0:03:11.919 just better to myself, like being able to do things 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:15.320 for myself that I wouldn't be able to do necessarily 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:17.320 not having a little bit more extra time. 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:20.960 And I understand why it's your pit, because mum girl 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:23.160 makes you feel like she's in daycare more days and 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:25.240 she's not all of that stuff that I went through. 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:29.160 I remember we had this conversation pit last year at. 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:30.880 The end of last year fourth day. 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:35.400 But at the moment it's a really bad example because 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:40.480 I'm also chasing my tail four days. But generally the 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:42.840 Friday is like the Mummy Lenny Day and we do 0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:45.400 something really fun. Yeah, I don't even really go on 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:47.080 my phone unless it is to take like a cute 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:49.080 photo of him. Yeah that I don't even then, Like 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:51.800 I'm not on socials, like it's just our day. 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:55.920 Yeah, it's good, Like it is obviously sad, right, it 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:59.200 really is the end of that kind of time that 0:03:59.200 --> 0:03:59.840 we've had. 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:01.160 Together until she's sick. 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:04.680 Until she's sick, and then you'll be like and I'm like, cool, 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:07.000 I'm just paying for these days, not doing any work. 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:11.200 I'm a contract rid and get paid when I don't exactly. 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:13.680 I think I've drawn it out for long enough. Like 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:15.960 I'm very aware that it is not normal that most 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:17.960 people could do three days of work and two off. 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:20.120 But in saying that, I'm not really doing three days 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:22.520 of work. I'm still doing the work, it's just not 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:26.040 in a formalized way. So I think it's a little 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:29.600 bit heartbreaking just because of maybe my peak. I'm feeling 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:33.280 like a little bit of nostalgia for having just Rue 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:38.760 and spending all my time with her. What's the peak? 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:44.120 So the peak is that I am with child. 0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:48.600 She is the ladies and gentlemen, I am all the 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:51.080 way up the dove, and she is impregnated. 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:53.640 Her womb is thriving. 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:57.920 It's throbbing, it is throbbing, it is very engorged. 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:03.120 It's so bad. Yes, I'm so excited. I'm now in 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:05.760 the clear so I can talk about it, and. 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:08.160 That in the clear. Things so annoying though, like. 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:12.320 I mean, especially after everyone I know, but like especially 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:14.920 I guess after your last experience, you totally get it. 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:17.200 But it's also like, yeah. 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.640 You're like I want to tell everyone, and I did. 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:23.839 Having the best carriage didn't impact this time around me 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:26.039 telling the people that I need it too, because I 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:29.120 still felt like this is happy news, like we need 0:05:29.160 --> 0:05:31.039 to share it. I need to have that support there, 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:33.920 and just with all the other shit stuff that's been 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.719 going on, like it's nice to have something happy to 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:39.359 talk about. So that's been really important. 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:42.000 And when people ask me if they should tell people 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:45.760 when they're pregnant, I always say, go for it. If 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:48.960 you do, Miscarrie, you want your people around. 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:49.800 You totally totally. 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:54.120 You can't just internalize all of that. It's not good 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:58.440 for you. You need people around you to grieve with you. 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:00.120 Oh totally. And you just need people to under. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:02.040 Stan like, oh, why you're a bit shit at the time, 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:04.240 because well, your body's trying to get rid of a 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:06.599 human that you really wanted exactly awful. 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:11.960 But this baby is, Oh, it's in there. It's strong, strong, 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:12.839 straight out of the gate. 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:16.240 Tell everyone how different this pregnancy has been straight out 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:19.640 of the gate from your other two pregnancies, Like just wild, 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:23.680 so insane. My last baby was definitely a girl for. 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:28.200 Sure, because this one has just been so different, different 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:32.120 and strong and taking everything from me. Like from when 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:34.880 I peed on the stick and it came up instantly, 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:37.720 and this is before my miss period. I've never tested 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:40.799 positive before a miss period, and in fact, most cases 0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:43.840 I've tested positive two to three days after a miss period, 0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:45.880 and I've had to go and get a secondary blood 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:47.840 test to make sure that my hateg sea levels. 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.880 Arise because the lines have been so faint correct and 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:51.600 the line's. 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:54.400 Been faint, and then also the hateg sea levels are low, 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:56.040 so they're like, all right, well, we just want to 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:58.200 make sure that there is a healthy baby in there. 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:00.240 And obviously with rul was fine. With the second maybe 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:04.200 not so much, but this baby six days before my 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:08.239 missed period. I couldn't get the cap on quick enough. 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:10.560 And what was the reason that you did pee on 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:10.960 the stick? 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:13.360 In the end, what happened was. 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:15.120 We were going away for the weekend and it was 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:18.040 a Friday, Yeah, And I woke up in the morning 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:20.000 and I was like, and then we had bought all 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:22.680 this beautiful wine. We're gonna have a really great weekend. 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:26.200 I wasn't. But the thing was, we had been trying 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:31.640 since really February, yes, since you periods came back, and 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:34.520 I was like, I'm not going to test until after 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:36.840 my missed period or like when my periods meant to come. 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:38.520 I'm just not going to do that to myself this 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:41.080 time around. And then I woke up on that morning 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:42.480 and I was like, I wonder how because I wasn't 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:43.960 keeping track at all. I was like I wonder when 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:46.360 I want to get my period, and I was like, oh, 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:48.560 you didn't even have the app. I just wasn't looking 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:50.640 at it. Oh okay. I knew like it was coming, 0:07:51.040 --> 0:07:52.960 that this was like the week that it would come. 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:55.360 And then I was like, oh shit, okay, I could 0:07:55.400 --> 0:07:57.600 take a test right now. I wonder if I've got 0:07:57.600 --> 0:07:59.720 any because I didn't buy any. I had one, and 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:01.440 I was like, oh, fuck it, I'll just do it. 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:04.360 It's gonna be negative anyway. I'd just gotten too that 0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:06.640 mentality because we've been having so much. 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.640 Say, they were doing every single thing I think. 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:12.440 We talked about. The we talked about yeah on. 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:15.400 An episode was so funny, but he was just like 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:21.760 raw dogging Charlie several times a day on every possible ovulation. 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:24.800 There was a lot of take too much and basically just. 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:25.840 Like a jizz basket. 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:28.960 Yeah, And I just thought like, obviously, my cycle's just 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:31.640 still off. And it was really like I felt like 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:34.240 the time when we did get pregnant, we changed things 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:37.440 up a little bit. I use the fourteen day ovulation sticks, 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.680 so you test every single day, because those digital ovulation 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:42.800 sticks were not accurate, like it was saying, I. 0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:45.880 Used to use the happy smile ones well, because. 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:47.520 My cycle was off. I think I was testing at 0:08:47.520 --> 0:08:51.120 the wrong time. Oh so the fourteen day tests you 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:54.160 test from I think the first day of your period, 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.840 and so you see when it spikes and then you 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:59.240 know exactly when it spikes instead of like catching the 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:00.400 tail end spike. 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:01.320 That makes sense. 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:04.160 So for me that was more accurate because what I 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:06.160 thought was happening, and it was saying on my app 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:07.160 with two different things. 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:09.800 For anyone playing long at home, make sure you do 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:14.040 know when you're spiking. Because like my girlfriend Ashley, she 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:18.360 felt pregnant from pre come two days after her period 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:20.320 finished with Bailey. 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:22.720 Oh pre come, my gosh, I didn't know. 0:09:22.720 --> 0:09:24.000 She was ovulating at that time. 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:26.240 That fucking wild. 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:28.480 She's the most fertile, so she just has to look 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:29.679 at Matt's stick and she's like. 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:31.160 Oh, I'm with child another one. 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:33.640 Sorry actually for outing you there, Sorry about that. 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:41.000 She's on this episode episode. Sorry ash So, I peed 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:43.840 on the stick and I couldn't get the lid on 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:46.040 quick enough before the fucking line came up, and it 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:52.080 was so prominent, so prominent in here that I was like, oh, 0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:54.640 my fucking god, did you think it was a malfunction twin. No, 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:55.640 I was like, it's twins. 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:57.400 Yeah. I thought it was twins for a long time too. 0:09:57.480 --> 0:09:58.960 And I called my girlfriend Hannah and I was like, 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:01.840 told her. She's like, well, there's always the first person 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:04.760 I tell, even more so than Charlie. Well, Charlie was there, 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:07.840 and I was like, oh, babe, look at this. Oh 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:09.440 You're like, why did I do this? 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:10.760 On Monday, after the weekend. 0:10:10.720 --> 0:10:13.480 It had been also, to give a bit of context, 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:16.160 I had reached the end of my tether with trying. 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:18.679 I was like, I don't know if it's the right time, Like, 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:22.280 I'm just so emotional. It's feeling to every much every month. 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:24.560 Was another blow to you. 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:26.680 And I was getting really consumed by it. And I 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:28.200 was like, I don't want to get that way. I 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:30.800 just think, you know, the night before, we'd even spoken 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:33.360 about like, all right, well if it's negative, then we'll 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:37.360 just maybe have a break. Of course you did, and 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:40.240 of course you know, of course he said. So I'm like, Charlie, 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:43.240 look at this, and he's like, oh my god, so excited, 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:46.400 and I'm like, oh, I just got my head around 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:46.960 the other wise. 0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:49.800 Yeah, I just thought to myself, oh, I was kind 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:51.000 of ready for a bit of a baite. 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:54.720 Yeah, and then I'm like, all right, cool, so it's 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:56.240 not just no, it isn't twins. 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:57.680 It's just confirmed with one baby. 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:02.440 God, but imagine the content. Yeah, it would have been cute. 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:04.760 I was actually, yeah, cool, got my three. Because Charlie 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:06.959 and I go back and forth on that. I'm more 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:09.000 in the two camp now after this fucking pregnancy. 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:10.280 Yeah, but yeah. 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:13.840 Mahannah was like ah, and I was like, oh, the 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:16.240 only time that really happens, right is when there's twins, 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:18.040 and she's like, I mean you said it. I was 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:19.880 thinking it so a boy because it was the same 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:21.680 or a boy yeah, because I told a lot of 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:23.920 my other girlfriends and they were like, yeah, big boy energy. 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:29.480 And I was sick for nine weeks, so ill, not vomiting, 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:33.440 just fucking so nauseous all the time, so faint, which 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:35.199 is normal because I have really low blood pressure, and 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:35.640 when I'm. 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.800 Pregnant, hired the most tired I have ever been. Do 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:42.320 you know what I thought during that nine weeks? I 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:46.400 thought pregnant people are annoying. If you don't, I don't know, 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:49.760 And I thought to myself. Luckily I never worked with 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:54.240 anyone closely when they were pregnant before I'd been pregnant. 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:56.120 The thing is you'd have to tell people if you 0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:58.679 were that sick. But like if I didn't know that 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:00.680 you're pregnant, and if I'd never been pregnant before, So 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:03.280 I understood, Yeah, driven me up for wooll. 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:06.000 I I've got to have another snirky like. 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.360 It was bad. I only really worked between the hours 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:11.400 of nine till twelve, and now I was done. 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:14.160 I understood every odor of what you were going through 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:16.240 because that was what my pregnancy was like. 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:17.960 But it wasn't for you with rue. 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:20.560 No, you didn't actually start vomiting, though, did you, because 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:22.000 you can manage it with snacks. 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:23.640 Yeah, it was just like I had to eat a 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:24.240 shalload of food. 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:26.640 But it feels like you're perpetually hungover. It's almost like 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:28.920 some people say that they wish that they did vomit, 0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:29.880 because then it would. 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:30.959 Like he maybe never did that. 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:31.360 Yeah. 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:33.400 No, it was like I had to be eating twenty 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:34.319 four seven. 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:34.720 The only time. 0:12:34.760 --> 0:12:36.880 I to be fair, I wouldn't say that's actually stopped. 0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:38.480 It hasn't. 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:39.440 It hasn't. 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:42.400 But the nausea, Yeah, you were so unwell. It was 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:45.439 it fucked up for mental health because it's very debilitating. 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:47.920 And then you think, oh, I should be so happy, 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:51.040 this baby is so wanted, but it's very hard to 0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:54.320 feel so happy and positive when you feel awful. 0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:57.960 Yeah, it was a lot, and you cranky two year old. Well, 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:00.720 actually she does understand, which is weird. Like she's just 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:05.200 so excited and like she's going to be sisters. Really sweet, 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:08.640 but like Charlie had to leave work early often, like 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:12.559 I was bedridden when I didn't have to do anything. 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:14.960 I was in bed having you know, three or four 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:15.920 hour napps. 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.920 And I would like send messages with our plans for 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:19.200 the day and be like it's okay, you can leave 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:20.360 it too, so you can go home and have your 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:21.480 kid before you. 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:24.960 And Lucy were very supportive during that time. I just 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:28.240 felt like I was not disappointing, but I just felt 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:31.560 like I was not pulling my weight. But it's as 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:34.360 a mom, as a business partnering. 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:37.560 A human, and I think that we forget just how 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:38.360 taxing it is. 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:39.600 And it's all well and good. 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:42.520 If you have a really easy, lovely pregnancy and you 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:46.680 don't find it hard, that is amazing, but it isn't 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:51.240 uncommon to be quite ill, especially during that first to 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:56.720 try mester. You are growing a human being with your body. 0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:58.520 We need to remember that and you need to remember 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:00.640 it and be kind to yourself for the next six 0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:03.960 five and a half months how long it is, because 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.800 you're growing a human Like if you're feeling down on yourself, Oh, 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:08.720 I'm disappointing people. 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:10.000 No, you probably grow a leg. 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:14.160 Yeah exactly, Well that was what was so order today. 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:16.640 I know I grew a little hart when I went 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.440 to the obstcution on Monday. That was like kind of 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:22.160 the first time i'd seen the baby since, you know, 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:23.360 like the seven week mark. 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:26.880 And in seven weeks it's just like not even it 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:27.360 looks like. 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:32.040 I was like, doesn't look like a tadpole. She would 0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:34.920 have she would, but I was like this anyways, But 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:37.640 when I saw the baby on the screen this week, 0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:40.720 I was like, it had arms and legs and finger 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:45.520 baby it was around. It was so like animated. 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:48.960 See boy, he's in their bouncing already. Rue was just 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:51.920 like such a chiller, just chilled in there. 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:54.480 Yeah. She was like, I'm like pretty sure it's going 0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:56.840 to be crazy. Like me, I'm like, it's. 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:58.720 Going to be a crazy baby. Baby boy. 0:14:58.880 --> 0:15:03.360 Yes, Len, such beautiful good news. Yeah, and so like 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:05.920 you have had the shittiest year. 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:08.160 Yeah, it's nice to have something. 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:10.160 I think it's a gift from Deb deb center. 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:13.640 There's nothing more in life that she loved than kids. Yeah, 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:16.320 and so yeah, we're bring her debs angel. 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.479 Oh very cute. That is beautiful. 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:27.120 Should I have a second baby? It was one of 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:30.320 our top back Well it's a little bit too late 0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:33.120 for that. Well, it was one of our top performing episode. 0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:35.320 It's where we learned that you Kell are firmly in 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:38.080 the no camp, one and done camp. 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:39.880 Even though you're like, are you sure? 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:44.160 A little surprised at forty? Maybe at forty, dear lord, 0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:45.960 I don't know. I'm giving you a bit of time, 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:50.160 bit of time, so it's happening and I am shitting myself, 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.880 So Kel, I thought I might just check you still 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:53.560 want and done. 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:57.400 Funnily enough, after that episode went live, I think I 0:15:57.440 --> 0:16:01.280 said to you maybe next year I would consider falling 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:04.280 pregnant again because the response from the shit is was 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:08.720 so beautiful and really helpful. The community that we've got 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:11.040 is just so lovely because they give advice without being 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:12.120 annoying at all. 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:12.440 Yeah. 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:13.160 Well, they get us. 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.600 But a lot of people pointed out that my cons 0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:20.080 list was very short term, yeah, and that the pros 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:24.960 are all long term yeah. And that really impacted the 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:26.800 way that I thought about it because I was like, oh, 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:30.320 that is so true, and it devastates me not giving 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.880 Len a sibling because he loves playing with kids so much, 0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:35.040 and I love it when people oh it's fine. I'm like, 0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:36.359 I know, it's fine. 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:38.000 But two things can be true at once. It's fine, 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:39.000 but you're also sad. 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:43.800 Exactly, and he loves playing more than anything with other kids. Yeah, 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:46.800 so it's just, you know a little bit, I feel slack. 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:50.920 So that was what I said to you and Luke 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:53.160 after that too. 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:53.480 Yeah. 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:55.200 I was like, I think that if we're in a good. 0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:58.280 Place next year, we can give it a go. 0:16:58.360 --> 0:16:58.800 Give it a go. 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.600 And then I found out I had a brain aneurysm, 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:06.360 and I was like, at the moment, I don't have 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:10.119 a long term plan for anything because I don't know 0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:11.280 what the future is looking like. 0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:12.720 Yeah, currently, which. 0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:15.560 Is so fair, and I don't really are responsible and I. 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:18.160 Don't know what the impact of a pregnancy would. 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:18.760 Be on my body. 0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:21.040 That would be my concern because a lot of health 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:25.600 issues come from pregnancy, and it's like, exactly, it can 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:28.080 really have an effect on it. So I think it's 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:29.080 a responsible decision. 0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:31.240 My mental health is also in the toilet at the moment, 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:34.120 so definitely back to camp one and done. 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:37.400 All right, And I support that. I think it's great choice. Well, 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:38.200 a girl can. 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:41.560 Try it, and she will continue to do so in 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:42.920 a friendly manner. 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:44.480 With a friendly manner, I'll just give it a little 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:47.480 edge across the line. Well, because that went so well 0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:50.399 and because of well, my current condition, we thought an 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:52.879