WEBVTT - What Noémie Fox Knows About Seizing Your Moment 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:14.080 You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast. 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:17.919 Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:27.280 waters that this podcast is recorded on. Hello, it's your host, 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:30.760 Claire Stevens, jumping into your ears to tell you why 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:33.520 this episode of But Are You Happy? Sounds a little 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:36.680 bit different. It's because we recorded it live at south 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:40.960 By Southwest, Sydney in October. I was joined by Olympic 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:43.960 gold medalist no Ami Fox, and I interviewed her in 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:46.480 front of a live audience. But I didn't want any 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:49.400 of you to miss out on hearing this episode, which 0:00:49.440 --> 0:00:53.880 is why we've released it for you to listen to enjoy. 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:55.920 Welcome to But Are You Happy? 0:00:56.080 --> 0:00:58.760 The podcast that asked the questions you've always wanted to 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:00.920 know from the people who appear to have it all. 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:04.880 I'm your host, Claire Stevens, and I'm joined by Olympic 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:10.920 gold medalist and widely adored athlete no Amy Fox. Usually 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:13.759 we would get straight into the show, but I wanted 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:17.479 to give just a little explanation of what but Are 0:01:17.479 --> 0:01:20.919 You Happy? Is about for anybody who is coming across 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:24.119 it for the first time. So it's not an original 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:27.919 idea to say that Culturally, we're sold a little bit 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:31.880 of a lie about happiness, that achievement brings it, that 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:35.600 being really, really ridiculously good looking might bring it, that 0:01:35.720 --> 0:01:38.640 money might bring it, That finding your life's passion is 0:01:38.679 --> 0:01:41.600 definitely going to bring it, that being famous or being 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:44.959 applauded or winning a gold medal might bring it, and 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:47.559 that if you strive and strive and do your best 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.120 and get the thing, then you will be able to 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:53.520 look around, it will be completely uncomplicated and you will 0:01:53.559 --> 0:01:58.800 feel deliriously happy. But deep down we know that humans 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:02.000 are far more complicated than that. I think this lie 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:05.120 is pedled even further now that we live in this 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:08.680 image based culture and we're all absorbing the shiny parts 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:12.240 of other people's lives. Things like birthdays and wedding days 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:15.800 and travel and winning gold medals are reduced to two 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:19.680 dimensional images of smiling faces instead of being felt as 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:24.200 the really complex emotional experiences that they are. The problem 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:27.640 is that then our expectations get really unrealistic, and we 0:02:27.720 --> 0:02:31.080 get to certain moments in our lives and we feel 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:34.280 like we're not feeling what we're meant to feel. So 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:37.320 on this show, I ask people like no Amy about 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:41.560 success and failure and vulnerability and jealousy and times the 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:44.680 world told her she'd be happy and she wasn't, And 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:50.040 together we unravel the illusion that anyone's emotional reality is uncomplicated. 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:54.200 So with that, no Amy, I want to start by 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:58.440 asking you whether you grew up in a happy household. 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:02.640 I feel like I've never been asked that question before, 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:09.080 but yes, definitely. I think like any childhood, there's ups 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:13.120 and downs. I think, you know, it wasn't always happy, happy, happy, 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:17.560 and I do think I definitely felt you know, sad 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:21.040 or angry or frustrated a lot of the time, especially 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:23.960 you know, growing up straight away with a sister that 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:26.600 just excelled in every single department. 0:03:27.640 --> 0:03:30.080 But overall, definitely a happy household. 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:33.080 I think, you know, I feel extremely lucky and grateful 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:36.560 to have been instilled really great values of you know, 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:39.840 hard work, discipline. Both my parents from the start. You know, 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:43.200 they didn't push kayaking onto us. I think they let 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:46.320 us discover all these different sports, but we also got 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:49.000 drilled into the lesson of getting back into the boat 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:50.760 or back on the horse when things didn't go well, 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:53.120 or finishing a term of dance even if I hated it. 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:54.920 So there was definitely you know a. 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:58.280 Lot of yeah, that sort of hard work, discipline, but 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:01.720 also so much enjoyment and you know, freedom growing up 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:02.280 in Australia. 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:04.920 But I was born in France and I. 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:06.400 Moved to Australia at the age of two for the 0:04:06.400 --> 0:04:09.440 Sydney two thousand Olympics. My parents were both involved in that, 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:13.280 and I think they just loved Australia, you know, the 0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:17.560 freedom that lifestyle brought, how big and green the places were, 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:20.760 the fact that we could walk to school undisturbed and safely, 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:23.720 and so yeah, I think there was so much happiness 0:04:23.719 --> 0:04:26.279 and that sort of childhood, but also going back to 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:29.800 France every year and being with my grandparents. But yeah, 0:04:29.840 --> 0:04:31.520 I think, you know, it was also quite hard growing 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:34.320 up in Australia without extended family, and that's something that 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:36.600 you know, I reflect on now as I'm getting older 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:40.520 and maybe thinking about starting a family. But yeah, definitely 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:45.280 so much happiness and hard work, commitment, freedom of expression 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:48.440 and yeah, so it was a good, very lucky childhood. 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:53.599 Do you feel like France and Australia are culturally different 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:56.080 when it comes to happiness, Like when you spend time 0:04:56.120 --> 0:05:00.720 in France versus when you spend time in Australia, do 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:05.040 you feel like there's a different ethos. 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:09.680 Towards that emotion a little bit. I think Australia's kind 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:14.520 of like you're doing great mentality. And I loved school 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:17.839 in Australia because I felt like I was doing a 0:05:17.840 --> 0:05:20.800 great job. In France, I did a few terms and 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.960 they'd rip out my paper because I didn't write in 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:26.880 the right cursive handwriting, or I did a few spelling mistakes. 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:31.080 So also, you know, the schools, they were indoors and 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:34.719 we would do school from eight am until six pm 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:35.360 with a two. 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:36.440 Hour lunch break. 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:39.240 And then in Australia you do nine am until three 0:05:39.280 --> 0:05:41.800 pm and you run home and then you can play 0:05:41.840 --> 0:05:46.200 outside or do swimming, do kayaking, do running. So I think, 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:49.240 you know, today, I do think that life is kind 0:05:49.280 --> 0:05:50.680 of easier in Australia. 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:52.560 I think it's easy to be happier. 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:55.680 There's a lot more like dialogue and open dialogue around 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:59.200 mental health and awareness there. In France, I think there's 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:01.760 still that sort of you know, work hard, be the 0:06:01.840 --> 0:06:05.560 last one to leave the office, and a bit more 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:07.920 of like the yeah, I don't know. I think it's 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:12.120 much easier to express yourself freely and not feel as 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:16.480 judged maybe in Australia, know the French, they like to judge. 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:19.360 So what was. 0:06:19.280 --> 0:06:23.320 Your dynamic like with Jess when you were growing up, 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:26.960 like she's a couple of years older. Did you feel 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:31.960 I also have a sister Jess who It's funny your 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:35.520 sister Jess was topp to the state in a subject 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:36.240 and was ducks. 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:38.080 So was my sister Jess. 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:41.520 So I feel like I understand a part of you, 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:45.440 a very small part of you, not the Olympic part. 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:49.520 But what was that dynamic like as you're growing up 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:54.080 and I guess your benchmark for success is just so 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:59.560 bizarrely just the outlier, Like what's that like? 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:05.000 Yeah? I think growing up we were great companions, you know. 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:07.520 I think we traveled a lot with my parents that 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:09.640 were both involved in the sport, and my mum she 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:12.440 would just leave us two together by the river and 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:16.160 we occupy ourselves and I don't really. 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:17.800 Know what we did, but we always, you know, had 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:18.240 each other. 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:20.840 And I think my mum she was an only child, 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:22.880 and so she really wanted to make sure that we 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:26.880 were friends forever. And that's something that she's really been 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:29.360 aware of. Also my dad as well, he's in this picture. 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:33.440 But you know, I think being an only child, she 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:37.040 really wanted to make sure that we were together no 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:39.640 matter what. And that's something that's kind of been reinforced 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:42.680 as it got a little bit more competitive and with 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:45.560 only one spot at the Olympics. And that's also something 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:49.320 we're both very aware of. So our relationship is something 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:52.800 that is incredibly valuable to both of us, and we 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:55.400 both know that sport is kind of leading, but you know, 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:57.960 life is hopefully a very long journey that we can 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:01.800 share together. But growing up, I, as you know, the 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:05.640 younger sibling, I think I tried to, you know, steal 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:07.760 her clothes or things I still do now, but like, 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:10.840 you know, be a little bit, I don't know, try 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:13.080 to edge her on. And she was so and still 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:16.840 is like calm and just like the type of person 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:18.440 that when you realize you keep egging them on and 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:21.640 they don't give you anything, you just stop annoying them, 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:22.760 like come on. 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:23.680 I know. 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:28.120 Like, So we didn't fight really, like obviously there were 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:31.920 moments where you'd have, like, you know, a few arguments, 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:36.720 but I really think it was quite a chill childhood 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:40.160 and relationship even in high school because she's such a 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:43.080 chill person that eventually, I you know, like I just 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:46.320 gave up and started, you know, having a happy relationship 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:51.360 with her. And then yeah, then you know, I think 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:55.760 in high school she started to become really good at kayaking, 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:58.280 and she won the world championships and I was there, 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:04.319 and and then she did like HC topped the state 0:09:04.560 --> 0:09:07.840 in what was it, PHP and then got a ninety 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:09.720 nine point one a task. I was like, oh god, 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:12.480 double world champion, senior world champion, nine nine point one 0:09:12.560 --> 0:09:15.560 ATA great. I'm just gonna be the disappointment. There's no 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:19.520 I can't do better than that, you know. So I 0:09:19.560 --> 0:09:21.400 think that period of my life, you know, when I 0:09:21.400 --> 0:09:25.000 did the HC, I there was that like I need 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:28.280 to beat her in something, and I did in one 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:33.440 one self check, And yeah, I think there was always that, 0:09:33.560 --> 0:09:37.640 you know, comparison, and even in sport, and then definitely 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:42.640 in sport, so we also nearly did the same degree, 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:45.120 and I'm glad there was like a difference there, but yeah, 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:47.680 there was a lot of comparison. And we all know 0:09:47.720 --> 0:09:50.200 that comparison is the thief of joy, but it's also 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:55.520 inevitable and it's inescapable sometimes as well, so definitely hard 0:09:55.600 --> 0:10:00.920 kind of having such a huge, you know, like benchmark, 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:02.920 but also being in the same industry. It's not like 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:05.280 I then went on to do medicine and taekwondo. You know, 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:08.000 I was in the same industry and also doing the 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:12.040 same sport. So it's yeah, an inevitable comparison. But also, 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:15.920 you know, Jess is so likable that I never felt 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:19.360 that sort of jealousy or envy, and she has always 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:22.760 been so supportive for my career and my goals. And 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.160 even though sometimes you're like, well, it's so degrading because 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:27.600 you're like, oh, good job, that's amazing, and it's nothing 0:10:27.680 --> 0:10:29.480 compared to what you've achieved. 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:30.720 But I'll never forget. 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:32.240 We were at the New South Wales and Street of 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:35.320 Sports Awards and the person who spoke they said it 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:37.880 was for the world championship medalists and they said, you know, 0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:40.480 you start out by being the best in your household, 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:43.000 you're the best in the street, and then in the 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:45.160 state and then in the country. And I looked to 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:47.079 my psychologist who was there with me, and I was. 0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:48.440 Like, I'm still on level one. 0:10:48.560 --> 0:10:54.040 Yeah, so you know I think, yeah, definitely growing up 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:56.520 with that sort of comparison was hard, but it was 0:10:56.560 --> 0:10:59.440 also growing up with that benchmark of you know, success, 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:01.920 that benchmark of being able to compare myself every day 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:02.199 to the. 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.360 Best in the world. And while there were so many 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:04.880 traps and. 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:08.920 Demons that came with that, there was also so much 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:12.600 growth and good that came from that, and that helped me, 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:13.920 you know, get to where. 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:14.400 I am today. 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:18.960 It's something that I think you notice that I notice 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:24.280 it as a sibling, that the media kind of laughs about, 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:27.000 but I think that there can be some real pain 0:11:27.120 --> 0:11:28.679 there when you feel. 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:30.560 Kind of overshadowed in your own family. 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:34.560 But what I find really interesting I did a deep 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:41.000 dive after your win, and there's all this research about 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:47.600 younger siblings being, like in sport, being incredibly incredibly successful. 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:52.000 And when you think about it, in you know, there's 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:56.600 the Williams sisters, there's Kate and Bronte Campbell, there's something 0:11:56.640 --> 0:12:00.400 about that younger sibling having to wait and having to 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:08.760 be patient that genuinely does result in a very spectacular 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:13.240 type of excellence. What do you think that is, like, 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:19.760 what is that mindset that clearly by waiting for your turn, 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:27.960 it actually makes you brilliant in a completely different way, 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:29.800 like like what do you think that is? 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:32.640 I think it comes down to a lot of things. 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:35.360 For me, it was exactly that, you know, I've been 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:39.000 waiting for my moment for such a long time, and 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:41.840 part of me thought that I'd never get that moment, 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:43.240 I'd never get that opportunity. 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:44.800 I'd always be the. 0:12:44.680 --> 0:12:47.240 One person in my family that wasn't an Olympian, that 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:49.600 never like made it. And so, you know, you get 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:52.280 the jokes like you said of oh my god, what's 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.240 it like being the only person that's never made it 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:56.720 to the Olympics in your family, and you're like, ah, great, 0:12:56.880 --> 0:13:00.640 Like what do you think you know? Like so yeah, definitely, 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:05.240 you know you laugh it out. But I think it 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.440 was something I kind of came to terms with but 0:13:07.560 --> 0:13:11.280 didn't didn't completely, you know, extinct wish the fire of 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:13.720 that dream of getting to the Olympics, but it was 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:17.439 always one spot. And when Kaye Cross came to the 0:13:17.560 --> 0:13:20.040 Olympic program, it was finally an opportunity for me to 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:23.800 get a qualifying spot. And I think it was that 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:26.480 it was waiting for such a long time to get 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:29.439 that moment that when it came, I was like clinging 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:31.160 onto it, and I was like, I'm not going to 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:34.520 let this go easily. And I think, you know, in 0:13:34.560 --> 0:13:37.120 addition to all of that, it's also the mindset of 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:41.920 I think, you know, not having your self worth and 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:45.160 your identity just tied up in the sport because otherwise 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:49.480 you're just completely and just constantly crushed because you have 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:52.840 an older sister that's always successful. So it's understanding that 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.200 there's more to life than just sport and trying to 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:58.520 develop yourself in different ways. And so I did two degrees, 0:13:58.680 --> 0:14:02.400 did my undergrad then did a master's because in the 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.520 period of finishing my undergrad and my masters, I was like, 0:14:04.560 --> 0:14:06.600 oh my god, I'm just an athlete. That's really scary, 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:08.080 and I don't know if I just want to be 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.800 just an athlete. And I learned that I actually am 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:13.840 more successful in my sport when I have that sense 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:16.959 of balance, you know, that sense of purpose that when 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:18.720 I go to work they think of me as such 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:21.280 a cool athlete, but then in the kayaking community, I'm 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:23.160 the one with the real girl, big job, you know. 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:26.360 So there was that sort of sense of balance and 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:29.280 purpose that came from that, and I think that really 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:33.120 fueled me. So yeah, when that opportunity came, it was 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:36.440 really like, finally my moment. I'm not going to let 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:40.320 this get away very easily. And I think in the games, 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:44.120 that sort of media attention and the expectations of oh, 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:45.840 you're going to be like your sister, You're going to win. 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:48.760 I think for me, I'd already done so much work 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:51.760 in you know, canceling out the expectations the noise, and 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:55.640 for me, I was so driven to like be here 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:58.240 and proud that I'd made it, that my goals and 0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:02.360 like my own internal dialogue was out trumping like everything 0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:04.960 in the media. So yeah, I think there was a 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:09.240 lot of mindset, mental prep that came with, you know, 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:12.320 kind of building that resilient mindset so to handle all 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:14.800 the expectations to know why I'm there, to know that 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:18.480 you know, I'm also I've had the hardest selection out 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:21.560 of pretty much any other athlete, so. 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:22.680 I'm worthy of being here. 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:25.720 I have what it takes to do well, and yeah, 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:28.360 I'm not going to let my moment, my turn, finally 0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:29.400 go easily. 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:34.360 Do you feel like because you'd been exposed to what 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:37.480 success looked like in the lead up to that, like 0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:39.960 once you qualify for the Games. Well, even before you 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:41.840 left Australia and you didn't know if you were going 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:46.400 to qualify, do you visualize, like, do you visualize that 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:48.160 moment of winning? Is that a thing? 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:50.840 Yeah, it's a thing, and it's something you don't really 0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:53.160 talk about because you I don't know. I think I 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:55.920 was kind of embarrassed of telling people that I would 0:15:56.000 --> 0:15:59.800 dream of winning the Olympics because it's such a hard 0:15:59.920 --> 0:16:03.520 thing to do that. I really mentally prepared myself for 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:07.880 I guess disappointment as well, and I was okay with 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:11.720 the disappointment. But I had a really hard qualification race 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:14.800 in Prague, and in September we had to put in 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:17.360 a strategy in place to to really, you know, focus 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:19.800 on getting to the Olympics. And so for eight months, 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.240 visualization was a huge part of my strategy and I 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:26.880 would visualize that race, the rounds, and the finish line 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:29.760 of qualifying to the Olympic Games. And I feel like 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:31.920 I sound so wooy when I say this, but I 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:35.160 really feel like I manifested so much of that result, 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:38.720 even to the point that you know, I was thinking about, 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:41.680 you know, what's the worst case scenario of being up 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:43.360 against you know, who are the worst. 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:45.360 Athletes that would really destabilize me. 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:47.280 And then I ended up in that exact heat that 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:49.480 I was like, Okay, I think I'm really strong mentally. 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:51.000 I need to stop manifesting this. 0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:55.360 But so when I qualified, I really like wrote down 0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:58.120 everything to make sure that it wasn't just luck and 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:01.040 you know manifestation. It was also you know, hard work 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:04.600 paying off at the right time, this incredible focus and resiliency, 0:17:05.159 --> 0:17:08.720 and yeah, that carried me through to Paris, that sort 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:13.040 of same focus. And and there's a funny story. We 0:17:13.159 --> 0:17:15.679 have like a track suit and then we have a 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:19.359 podium tracksuit. And when we were the week of the 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:22.120 competition and just was up first. I was a week later, 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:25.600 and the day before her race, we were neighbors, so 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:27.320 I went into her room and I saw that she 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:30.640 had her podium track suit hanging up so she could 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:33.440 see it every single day. And I was like, oh, 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:34.399 that's such a good idea. 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:36.120 And then after she. 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:40.080 Won, I actually and when it was the day before 0:17:40.120 --> 0:17:43.840 my race, I got my podium tracksuit out and I 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:45.479 tried it on and I hung it up and I 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:47.040 was like, you know, I just wanted to feel what 0:17:47.120 --> 0:17:49.399 it was like wearing that. But there was a lot 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:55.000 of visualization about winning, mainly in Prague, and I think 0:17:55.440 --> 0:17:58.399 that was my qualification race in June, and then for 0:17:58.640 --> 0:18:03.280 the Olympics there wasn't I didn't visualize winning. I didn't 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:05.320 even visualize you know, the podium. I think I had 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:08.760 a completely different visualization process, and it was on the 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:12.280 actual process. You know. It was visualizing the crowd because 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:16.159 normally we compete maybe max. One thousand people are watching. 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.800 Here there was fifteen thousand people. The noise was something, 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:23.480 the adrenaline was something, so you know, visualizing this time, 0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:27.200 not the heats. I didn't want to manifest being next 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:29.560 to some really tough people, but you know, the media 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:31.040 manifested Jess and I so. 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:33.200 And yeah. 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:35.720 So there was a different sort of visualization, but it 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:37.320 was definitely a key. 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:39.280 Part of the whole process. 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:44.960 You say a lot that, especially like leading up to 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.560 the Olympics, you were process driven. 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:49.120 What does that mean. 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.040 I think it's so easy to get carried away and 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:55.760 just think about the result. Especially in kyae cross and 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:59.080 ki cross, you have so many different rounds. It's not 0:18:59.120 --> 0:19:01.320 like in sylom where you have one race and you've 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:02.680 got to deliver your perfect race. 0:19:02.720 --> 0:19:03.560 In kite cross, you. 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:06.679 Have the time trial, then you have round one, then 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:09.720 you have Heat one, and then you have the quarter final, 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:12.920 semi five, and final. So it's so easy to kind 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:14.439 of get carried away and think, Okay, if I get 0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:15.760 top two, then I'm going to be in this and 0:19:15.800 --> 0:19:17.480 then I might be up against this person, and then 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:19.000 all I need to do is beat that person and 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:21.760 then I'm in the final. So it's really easy to 0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:24.760 get carried away, and also to think compared to slalom, 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:27.919 where you know, if your level is top ten, then 0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:29.520 you should make the final and you can hope for 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:32.200 a top ten finish. In kaya cross, you can be 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:34.240 one of the best in the world and be knocked 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:37.000 out in the top thirty two. That's what happened to Jess, 0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:38.840 and I think it was a testament to the level 0:19:39.400 --> 0:19:42.000 of the women that were competing. It was an incredibly 0:19:42.040 --> 0:19:45.520 hard field and so I was, you know, I had 0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:48.440 made the Olympics. I didn't want to get carried away 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:53.440 by the expectation of winning, or there was an inherent 0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:57.200 fear of being eliminated first. That was definitely there, but 0:19:57.240 --> 0:19:58.959 I didn't want to, you know, be consumed by that. 0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:02.520 So something that really helped me throughout the whole competition 0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:05.200 was just I had, like, you know, my little journal 0:20:05.359 --> 0:20:08.480 kind of like Nicola the high jumper, and always you know, 0:20:08.560 --> 0:20:10.520 just focusing on the process, what I needed to to do, 0:20:10.680 --> 0:20:14.120 how I felt, really reflecting on the facts. I think 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:17.600 it's so easily like you can just get carried away 0:20:17.640 --> 0:20:19.320 by thinking of that, you know, the self doubt, the 0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:23.280 imposter syndrome, the result. But you know, reminding myself of 0:20:23.280 --> 0:20:25.840 my previous results that you know, I had, what it 0:20:26.240 --> 0:20:28.720 I have, what it takes to be here, and really 0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:32.399 doing that positive reinforcement to stay in the moment and 0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:34.960 then focus on what I need to do before getting 0:20:35.000 --> 0:20:37.080 on that ramp, and then what I need. 0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:38.280 To do up until the first gate. 0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:41.919 So yeah, really staying in the moment and doing you know, 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:44.119 having little cues that kind of help you get in 0:20:44.120 --> 0:20:48.200 that moment. But yeah, it's very easy to get carried 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:52.119 away and think of the result and the Olympics essentially 0:20:52.440 --> 0:20:55.280 you see the one percent of the success. And it 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:58.760 was really important for me to be be prepared to 0:20:59.040 --> 0:21:04.040 have a disappointment but also enjoy the whole Olympic Games experience. 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:05.840 There's so much more to the games than just that 0:21:06.160 --> 0:21:08.840