Speaker 1: This episode is brought to you by Priceline Pharmacy.
Speaker 2: Growing up in my early teens and entering into my twenties,
Speaker 2: I had a story that I was really, really dumb,
Speaker 2: and this came from failing high schoolers, came from a
Speaker 2: stepdad telling me all the time how stupid I was.
Speaker 2: So I had a story that I would never be
Speaker 2: able to study, I'd never be able to make anything
Speaker 2: of myself, so I don't even try, and that story
Speaker 2: really held me back. Money definitely takes away stress, which
Speaker 2: can help with your happiness. But I think happiness is
Speaker 2: just such an inside choice. It's something every single day
Speaker 2: that I push to find joy. You can always find
Speaker 2: a lesson in something, too, and if you can find
Speaker 2: a lesson, that's your gift. Life is happening for you,
Speaker 2: not to you.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the CSA podcast. Busy and happy are not
Speaker 1: the same thing. We too rarely question what makes the
Speaker 1: heart seeing we work, then we rest, but rarely we
Speaker 1: play and often don't realize there's more than one way.
Speaker 1: So this is a platform to hear and explore the
Speaker 1: stories of those who found lives They adore, the good,
Speaker 1: bad and ugly, the best and worst day will bear
Speaker 1: all the facets of seizing your yea. I'm Sarah Davidson,
Speaker 1: or a spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer turned unentrepreneur who
Speaker 1: swapped the suits and heels to co found Matcha Maiden
Speaker 1: and matcha Milk Bar. CZA is a series of conversations
Speaker 1: on finding a life you love and exploring the self doubt, challenge,
Speaker 1: joy and fulfillment along the way. Welcome back, Lovely Yighborhood.
Speaker 1: I can't believe it's November already. Oh my gosh, what
Speaker 1: is happening? Thank you so much for tuning into our
Speaker 1: first anniversary episode last week. I hope you had as
Speaker 1: many chuckles as we did. You can see the plate
Speaker 1: EA is well and truly alive for the Davidsons. I'm
Speaker 1: excited to be back this week with another incredible guest
Speaker 1: whose name I'm sure you've heard before, but who, like
Speaker 1: many of our guests, has so much more depth than
Speaker 1: their surface level media portrayal might suggest. You know. I
Speaker 1: love peeling back the layers of a well known name
Speaker 1: to explore the lesser known parts of who they are underneath,
Speaker 1: and Ash Binds got right on board for a juicy,
Speaker 1: thought provoking chat. Ash's huge success in the health and
Speaker 1: fitness world, with a community of millions and now several
Speaker 1: businesses under her belt, belies her humble beginnings on dairy farms,
Speaker 1: the same way that her energetic positivity and confidence belies
Speaker 1: the negativity and narratives thrust upon her in early life.
Speaker 1: Having followed her for many years now, I'd heard some
Speaker 1: of her story, but she is stronger and more resilient
Speaker 1: than I ever knew, and so generous in sharing her
Speaker 1: experiences with trolling, body image and motherhood so that others
Speaker 1: might feel less alone and better equipped for their own journeys.
Speaker 1: I'll let her tell you the rest, and we cover
Speaker 1: a lot of ground with so many nuggets that I
Speaker 1: hope you find as useful as I did. We recorded
Speaker 1: this one before the restrictions in Victoria easedibits, so ignore
Speaker 1: those references. Of course, back then, that's all I could
Speaker 1: talk about, But I hope you guys enjoy as much
Speaker 1: as I did. Beautiful as she Welcome to the show, Ah.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. I'm actually so
Speaker 2: excited to chat with you today because I love chatting
Speaker 2: to you on my podcast. And now we get to
Speaker 2: the opposite it's so exciting.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it was so much fun and such
Speaker 1: an honor to join you on your show, and we
Speaker 1: had such a juicy chat. As you know, I've loved
Speaker 1: following your journey for so many years now, and I
Speaker 1: couldn't believe you'd even heard of CZBA, let alone being
Speaker 1: keen to jump on the show.
Speaker 2: I looks like, I'm you sure you want to have
Speaker 2: me on here? I'm so nervous and excited.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of mutual fangirling going on, guys. Seriously, Well,
Speaker 1: I usually start with a little icebreaker, as you know,
Speaker 1: but I've added another one just because twenty twenty has
Speaker 1: been such a shit storm. I think we all forget
Speaker 1: to just check in with each other and simply ask
Speaker 1: how you're going. Of course, we will come to your
Speaker 1: brand new book, Fifteen Lessons That Changed My Life, which
Speaker 1: is absolutely incredible, But something that really struck me right
Speaker 1: at the front. I think it was maybe even on
Speaker 1: page five, was that you're not defined by your problems
Speaker 1: but by your response, which has totally carried me through
Speaker 1: this entire year. So how are you, how are you responding?
Speaker 1: How are things going well?
Speaker 2: As we were talking before you push record. I'm in Queensland,
Speaker 2: so we obviously have things a lot easier than what
Speaker 2: you do in Victoria. I can't even imagine what you
Speaker 2: guys are going through when the whole COVID thing struck,
Speaker 2: I suppose it was definitely a shock to the system.
Speaker 2: I think I had about a week where I was
Speaker 2: just freaking out personally with my son business. I was
Speaker 2: just like, what is going to happen? The unknown is
Speaker 2: so scary and not that we ever fully have control.
Speaker 2: But I spent about a week just being like, what
Speaker 2: the hell are we going to do? But once I
Speaker 2: kind of got my head around it that I have
Speaker 2: to let go, like I have to surrender to this
Speaker 2: and what can I control it? What can I take control?
Speaker 2: And how can I pivot and make this work. I've
Speaker 2: got to find new ways and I do secretly love
Speaker 2: a challenge. I love kind of being pushed out in
Speaker 2: my comfort zone to find new ways to do things
Speaker 2: because then I just learn more and the more I learn,
Speaker 2: the more I can teach, and I love teaching and
Speaker 2: helping my audience with anything. So this year has been
Speaker 2: a really challenging year emotionally for me, but because COVID
Speaker 2: I feel like a me to slow down and everything
Speaker 2: that i'd been pushing down and suppressing came up to surface.
Speaker 2: And I've actually done the work, and I'm working through
Speaker 2: a lot of things that I've suppressed for years because
Speaker 2: I've been too busy. It's been challenging, but I'm really
Speaker 2: grateful for it. I found a lot of gratitude in now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel exactly the same, and I think that's
Speaker 1: something that really stands out about you and your book,
Speaker 1: but also in everything that you do. You're really open
Speaker 1: about doing the work, and obviously you know there's a
Speaker 1: lot of positivity and I think we both kind of
Speaker 1: identify as positivity pandas we really like to look for
Speaker 1: the silver linings and portray a really grateful, appreciative view
Speaker 1: on life. But that doesn't involve not having problems. It
Speaker 1: just involves being able to process them and deal with them.
Speaker 1: And you do that. You take us along on the ride,
Speaker 1: which I really like. You don't come out months later
Speaker 1: and sort of announce it, you know, retrospectively, You share
Speaker 1: it in the moment, and I think that's really lovely.
Speaker 2: Percent Like we were saying before, like the work never
Speaker 2: stops as soon as you think you've nailed something and
Speaker 2: new challenge arises and you're like, ah, okay, let's see
Speaker 2: how to work this out. And I do love being
Speaker 2: really authentic and sharing the ups and downs because I
Speaker 2: think that's what that's really relatable and provides connection, and
Speaker 2: we're all starving for more authenticity and connections. If I
Speaker 2: can provide that, then yeah, that's my goal daily.
Speaker 1: Oh so good. And that leads perfectly to the actual
Speaker 1: lives breaker, which, as you know, is asking everyone what
Speaker 1: the most down to earth thing is about them? And
Speaker 1: I think even for people like you, who are really
Speaker 1: good at sharing all sides of the story and definitely
Speaker 1: not just the highlights, it still can be really easy
Speaker 1: to forget that underneath even a really relatable surface, you're
Speaker 1: still a human, You're a mom. There's lots of stuff
Speaker 1: you don't share. Even if we see relatable things, they
Speaker 1: might not be what you think is the most down
Speaker 1: to earth thing about you. So what would you say,
Speaker 1: is something really normal about you?
Speaker 2: Really normal? Such a funny question. I feel like the
Speaker 2: most humbling thing about myself, I think is that I
Speaker 2: don't ever forget where I came from. I didn't just
Speaker 2: land where I am today. I didn't come from money
Speaker 2: and really worked hard to get to where I am today.
Speaker 2: And I never am one to show up and say
Speaker 2: I have all the answers and I'm perfect. And that's
Speaker 2: why I share all the ups and downs because I
Speaker 2: think it's so relatable to be following people or to
Speaker 2: be around people that are owning their shit and figuring
Speaker 2: out ways to get through it. And I love that
Speaker 2: whole journey. I never want to sugarcoat anything or pretend
Speaker 2: that I'm perfect, because I'm not. It's not reality, so
Speaker 2: online and offline, that's it's exactly who I am in
Speaker 2: real life as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's really important to never forget where
Speaker 1: you came from and always have an appreciation for those
Speaker 1: earlier times. And that's actually where I always start. The
Speaker 1: first section of every episode is Your Way toa which
Speaker 1: is pretty much tracing back from your childhood and your
Speaker 1: earliest times, because people often walk into your life now
Speaker 1: at this chapter and might forget that you've had periods
Speaker 1: of finding a path and losing it and finding it
Speaker 1: again or finding a new one. I love that you
Speaker 1: try and really keep where you came from and those
Speaker 1: strong roots present in your story, because it is so
Speaker 1: easy to forget that you didn't just wake up one
Speaker 1: day and have it all and have it all figured out.
Speaker 1: And I think what's amazing about that you did the
Speaker 1: world is it does allow people who didn't come from
Speaker 1: money or didn't come from already having a position of
Speaker 1: influence to build an incredible community and to share that message.
Speaker 1: But it does also make it easy to forget that
Speaker 1: lots of people did start from those humble beginnings. So
Speaker 1: take us back to that time. Tell us about young Ashy.
Speaker 1: What will you like as a child, What did you
Speaker 1: think you wanted to be?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's cool that we can talk about going back
Speaker 2: to the beginning because it's nice to even reflect on that.
Speaker 2: And if someone comes to my page now, you know
Speaker 2: they do really just see this highlight reel of photos.
Speaker 2: I mean taking it way back. I was brought up
Speaker 2: in New Zealand with my mum and a stepfather. My
Speaker 2: real father actually left when I was really really young,
Speaker 2: so I didn't actually know him, which is also a
Speaker 2: really powerful part of my story and has been really
Speaker 2: I've got so much, so much gratitude for that experience.
Speaker 2: That's another whole story. We grew up in New Zealand
Speaker 2: then moved to Australia. I've always loved being super active.
Speaker 2: I grew up on dairy farms, riding motorbikes, animals, always
Speaker 2: had a passion to help, and that's I think fast
Speaker 2: forward to now being active and helping people. That's always
Speaker 2: been a core of who I am, and that's in
Speaker 2: everyday life, that's in my career, that's online. Like bringing
Speaker 2: those together has really shaped who I am today and
Speaker 2: when my mum used to ask when I was younger,
Speaker 2: what are you going to be when you grow up?
Speaker 2: And I just love helping people, but I also love
Speaker 2: I love moving my body, I love dancing, I love
Speaker 2: being active. So being able to combine those in the
Speaker 2: career has been really really cool.
Speaker 1: It's also really cool that I think in our generation
Speaker 1: in particular, the jobs that we have now didn't necessarily
Speaker 1: exist at the time we first started thinking about what
Speaker 1: jobs were, but by the time we actually got there,
Speaker 1: it was a possibility, which is something no generation before
Speaker 1: has really faced, Like they've never faced such a drastic
Speaker 1: change from the time they started thinking about their future
Speaker 1: to the time they got there. So back then, what
Speaker 1: kind of jobs did you think that might translate to like,
Speaker 1: I'm sure this was not in the list of possibility.
Speaker 2: Like I said, I.
Speaker 3: Loved animals, so I actually wanted to own a dog
Speaker 3: wash and wash dogs. I've always had Labradors, and I say,
Speaker 3: you've got a retriever. I've always loved dogs, so I
Speaker 3: thought that would be a fun career. Then I wanted
Speaker 3: to be a police officer as well. I wanted to
Speaker 3: be able to help rescue people and help people, so
Speaker 3: that was always on the agenda, but ended up being
Speaker 3: obviously more on the fitness path. But they were the
Speaker 3: two things that growing up I thought I would want
Speaker 3: to do.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is so you'd be a cop
Speaker 1: by day and just like wash people's dogs by night.
Speaker 2: What a life people's dogs? Just a passion?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's your side hustle. So then what path you
Speaker 1: did obviously end up starting was more down the fitness
Speaker 1: sort of pathway. Getting your pet certification like a decade
Speaker 1: ago now, so very very early on before it became
Speaker 1: as trendy obviously as it is now. I love that
Speaker 1: so off when you can look back to your childhood
Speaker 1: and find so many clues and everything starts to make
Speaker 1: sense about where you end up eventually, but at the time,
Speaker 1: what made you choose that qualification? What made that your
Speaker 1: first step.
Speaker 2: There's a few reasons. Obviously I loved helping me, but
Speaker 2: I love fitness. So when I met my husband, Steve,
Speaker 2: he'd been a personal trainer for ten years. Back then,
Speaker 2: it was quite a rare He's nine years older than me.
Speaker 2: It was quite a rare career choice, Like, it wasn't
Speaker 2: as glamorized as popular as what it is now. So
Speaker 2: watching him run boot camps and be able to help
Speaker 2: people with their help and fitness, I was just like, Wow,
Speaker 2: that is what I want to do. But at the
Speaker 2: time I was working in retail jobs and long story
Speaker 2: cuts short. Growing up in my early teens and just
Speaker 2: as a kid and entering into my twenties, I had
Speaker 2: a story that I was really, really dumb. And this
Speaker 2: came from failing high school. This came from a stepdad
Speaker 2: telling me all the time how stupid I was. So
Speaker 2: I had a story that I would never be able
Speaker 2: to study, I'd never be able to make anything of myself,
Speaker 2: so I don't even try. And that story really held
Speaker 2: me back from trying, which was really sad. So I
Speaker 2: actually got fired from my retail job. I came into
Speaker 2: work one day and we had this new boss for
Speaker 2: about two weeks. I've been there for over a year
Speaker 2: and my old boss loved me. This NEWEO boss said,
Speaker 2: I just don't have the hours for you anymore, so
Speaker 2: I'm letting you go. There was no reason, there was nothing.
Speaker 2: It was obviously very traumatic for a twenty year old
Speaker 2: that really lived week to week, but it was the
Speaker 2: best thing that ever happened to me because being fired,
Speaker 2: I was like, what am I going to do now?
Speaker 2: And my husband had applied for government funding for me
Speaker 2: to go and do my personal training course amazing, So
Speaker 2: getting fired, like was the best thing that ever happened
Speaker 2: to me. If I hadn't been fired, would I ever
Speaker 2: have gotten my courage to let go of that old
Speaker 2: story that I was too dumb to take a chance
Speaker 2: and go and get my qualifications. It took me a while.
Speaker 2: It took me three goes of the final exam to pass,
Speaker 2: so that story that I kept playing in my head
Speaker 2: that I was so dumb, I was so dumb, was
Speaker 2: so dumb. It was hard to work through that. But
Speaker 2: that in itself has been a blessing as well. It's
Speaker 2: really helped me, you know, step into that, lean into
Speaker 2: that and work on that. So yeah, getting fired watching
Speaker 2: my watching Steve do what he does, and then just
Speaker 2: my core reason of wanting to I call pull to
Speaker 2: want to help people in a way of building a healthy,
Speaker 2: solid foundation with them life.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love that so much. And see,
Speaker 1: I think this is the stuff that, even if you
Speaker 1: do talk about it every now and then, it's not
Speaker 1: necessarily the story people here first because so much has
Speaker 1: happened since then. But this is so fascinating to hear.
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone seeing you now, very confident in
Speaker 1: having done the work, the first thought wouldn't be that
Speaker 1: you had this incredibly negative narrative about yourself for so
Speaker 1: much of the start of your life. So it's an
Speaker 1: incredibly inspiring and reassuring story that you can break neural
Speaker 1: loops about how you feel about yourself with enough work.
Speaker 1: But also that I often say beautiful new beginnings often
Speaker 1: disguised as painful endings, and especially in this year where
Speaker 1: a lot of people might have lost their jobs, been
Speaker 1: made redundant, maybe been fired, or just had certain chapters
Speaker 1: end really abruptly, that it can be the time where
Speaker 1: the clean slate is maybe the best thing you've ever had,
Speaker 1: even if it's painful for a little while.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. And sometimes I think we don't see
Speaker 2: it straight away. It might take us a couple of years,
Speaker 2: it might take us ten years. Even relationships ending, friendships ending,
Speaker 2: or yeah, losing your job. You might not know straight away.
Speaker 2: But in year's time of five years time, I promise
Speaker 2: you will look back and say, thank goodness that happened.
Speaker 2: If that didn't happen, I wouldn't have met this person,
Speaker 2: or if that didn't happen, I wouldn't have had this opportunity.
Speaker 2: If that led me to hear, that's who I've got
Speaker 2: to find gratitude in those hard, challenging times. Getting fired
Speaker 2: at nineteen and that was a second job, but actually
Speaker 2: been fired fired from in my life. So all those
Speaker 2: stories and self doubt and self sabotaged were just like
Speaker 2: sitting there. But if that didn't happen, who knows what
Speaker 2: I'd be here speaking to you today. Maybe not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, That's why I'm so fascinated by this concept of
Speaker 1: sliding doors moments, because but for one tiny thing, your
Speaker 1: story could have been completely different. And also in that moment,
Speaker 1: it was like a fork in the road. You did
Speaker 1: have two choices. You could have kept strengthening that narrative
Speaker 1: and just kept going on with that life where you
Speaker 1: held yourself back from everything because you were totally consumed
Speaker 1: by self doubt. Or you could choose to use that
Speaker 1: as a fire to be like, I'm to go ahead
Speaker 1: and make a different path for myself anyway, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to prove you all wrong. But another reason why
Speaker 1: I love going through this from the beginning is I
Speaker 1: think we're such an instant gratuity focused society and it's
Speaker 1: made us want. You know, when we decide I'm going
Speaker 1: to do my PT qualification, you want two days later
Speaker 1: to have this massive community and have made a life
Speaker 1: and a career out of it. We want it all
Speaker 1: to happen overnight. But I think it's so important to
Speaker 1: remember everyone starts from scratch. Love that everyone starts from zero,
Speaker 1: and you literally started from getting your PT certification without
Speaker 1: knowing that it would go well at all, but you
Speaker 1: did it anyway. So the quote I always say, and
Speaker 1: everyone's heard me bang on about it a million times,
Speaker 1: but you don't have to see the whole staircase. To
Speaker 1: take the first step, you don't take the lift of
Speaker 1: the end, otherwise you know, what's the point. And I mean,
Speaker 1: you've now propelled to a brand and community of five
Speaker 1: million people. But I'm sure you never expected that it
Speaker 1: could grow that big. So what were your wildest expectations
Speaker 1: back then? What did you think it would lead to?
Speaker 1: I imagine this has surpassed even your wildest dreams.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. I mean, back when I started, the
Speaker 2: online world wasn't as big as what it was. It's
Speaker 2: actually the eleventh year Instagram has been around, and I
Speaker 2: started eleven years ago on Instagram. I had no expectations.
Speaker 2: At age nineteen, I lived in a world of fear.
Speaker 2: If I could pay my bills, I was happy. And
Speaker 2: if I could show up every day for one person
Speaker 2: at the PT session, I was happy. If I could
Speaker 2: just make one little impact that helped their day be better,
Speaker 2: I was happy. So I really had a low baseline
Speaker 2: for my life. So I didn't have any expectations, and
Speaker 2: I never thought Instagram. I mean, it was so new.
Speaker 2: I was on there, sharing photos, sharing transformations, sharing a
Speaker 2: bit of what I was up to. I was like,
Speaker 2: this is really cool, this app that shares beautiful photos
Speaker 2: and fun moments. But what I really soon realized was
Speaker 2: how much connection came from Instagram. And I was I
Speaker 2: was quite big on Facebook back then it was a
Speaker 2: lot bigger than Instagram, and I'd already learned the connection,
Speaker 2: you know, that everyone was wanting on there, not just
Speaker 2: with health and fitness, but with me, with my life,
Speaker 2: and that really motivated me to just keep sharing all
Speaker 2: the ups and downs, all the challenges, everything I was
Speaker 2: up to. Yah, not just with health and fitness, but
Speaker 2: it's so it's been so cool to witness and observe
Speaker 2: the journey of Instagram and how everyone has so much connection,
Speaker 2: so much opportunity, so much ways, so new ways to
Speaker 2: learn from each other. It really is such a cool platform.
Speaker 2: But back then, yeah, there was zero expectations. So when
Speaker 2: it just exploded in front of me and it definitely
Speaker 2: has been a massive part of my success, it's like, wow, cool,
Speaker 2: this is awesome that we have the opportunities. Back when
Speaker 2: my mum was younger, this wasn't around, so it's been
Speaker 2: really really cool.
Speaker 1: I also think that's a great reminder that sometimes having
Speaker 1: a really low bar of expectations, actually it takes the
Speaker 1: pressure off you, Like, you're not trying to reverse engineer success.
Speaker 1: You're just doing what you think is really good and
Speaker 1: then it happens to go really well.
Speaker 2: That's like in life, as we have expectations on people
Speaker 2: all in situations, on work, on outcomes which you're disappointed
Speaker 2: because there's an expectation that it has to be like this,
Speaker 2: or if it doesn't happen, we're like, oh, so, I
Speaker 2: think lowering our expectations or swapping expectations for appreciation is
Speaker 2: a really valuable lesson as well. So I think it
Speaker 2: was good not to have expectations because nowadays I even
Speaker 2: catch myself too, like if a photo doesn't get you know,
Speaker 2: X amount of lights or engagement, I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 2: start to analyze it and I have to quickly snap
Speaker 2: myself out of that and just get out of that
Speaker 2: phase because it's not good. But back then, when there's
Speaker 2: no expectations, you're just enjoying the ride and you're trusting
Speaker 2: that whatever happens happens. That's a pretty cool way to live.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally. So looking back from then to now,
Speaker 1: if you had to divide your story and the journey
Speaker 1: and the growth into sort of chapters, what would they
Speaker 1: be from the start to now? And are there any
Speaker 1: that you look back on that you sort of cringe
Speaker 1: over and go, oh my god, Like maybe it was
Speaker 1: appropriate at the time, but obviously the world is changing
Speaker 1: so much, and I think you're actually you're meant to
Speaker 1: grow out of old chapters and into new ones. And
Speaker 1: if you don't cringe at what you were doing at
Speaker 1: one point in time, then you probably haven't evolved. So
Speaker 1: how would you break up the story from then to now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely interesting, Queshing. I can see where you're coming
Speaker 2: from when you say, oh, you kind of cringe at
Speaker 2: some of your chapters, But yeah, there's cringing moments, and
Speaker 2: especially being on a public platform, there's times where I
Speaker 2: have said things or done things that I look back
Speaker 2: and go, oh, Ash, what were you thinking? And it's
Speaker 2: so much harder when you have an audience to judge
Speaker 2: and watch your mistakes. That was not fun. So there's
Speaker 2: a couple of cringe moments there, for sure. But I
Speaker 2: have such gratitude for all of the lessons and chapters
Speaker 2: because honestly, if they didn't happen, I wouldn't have been
Speaker 2: forced to grow and learn and step up and raise
Speaker 2: my baseline. So I'm really grateful for all the chapters.
Speaker 2: I think I see it as before my stepdad and
Speaker 2: after my stepdad. He was such a massive crucial part
Speaker 2: of my upbringing and why I'm here today, and then
Speaker 2: before before my husband and now, and then before my
Speaker 2: child and now. I feel like they're my chapters that
Speaker 2: have really shifted and shaped who I am. There's a
Speaker 2: couple of little ones in there, like you know, we'll
Speaker 2: go into a later trolling online. There's other little chapters
Speaker 2: in there that I think it really shaped me, but
Speaker 2: they're probably the main ones that I think we could
Speaker 2: drive deeper into if you wanted to.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, I think we've got a whole section on
Speaker 1: the nata, which I think is really important to look at.
Speaker 1: How as you've mentioned and as the book. Actually you're
Speaker 1: so good at dealing with this topic in the book
Speaker 1: that it really is the negativity that forces you to grow.
Speaker 1: And in the super cruisy times, you don't actually learn much,
Speaker 1: like they're great, but nothing really develops you as a person.
Speaker 1: You're just kind of riding the wave.
Speaker 2: But the balance isn't it. It's like you need the
Speaker 2: hard times to grow, but then you don't You don't
Speaker 2: want to always feel like you're having to strive and
Speaker 2: grow and achieve and be on this hustle and doing
Speaker 2: the work like sometimes you do just want to chill
Speaker 2: and enjoy life for what it is. It's a juggling
Speaker 2: act of finding that balance.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally. So before we get to that, I'd
Speaker 1: love to ask, I think this is such an interesting
Speaker 1: or moment for so many people when they go from
Speaker 1: just the hustle and not having really any expectations to
Speaker 1: suddenly realizing I've made it, Like this is actually turned
Speaker 1: into a business. I can make my livelihood from this,
Speaker 1: and I'm impacting people's lives. What moment do you remember
Speaker 1: as that all hitting you like you felt successful and
Speaker 1: looking back at how you measure success, have your metrics
Speaker 1: changed sort of over that time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, I think they've changed a lot. But let's
Speaker 2: go back to the first part of that question when
Speaker 2: you asked, was there a moment there? Definitely was. There
Speaker 2: was a moment when our first business, it exploded in
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks beyond anything I could ever I'm
Speaker 2: talking hundreds of thousands of people, you know, purchasing what
Speaker 2: we were selling online. That was like, wow, Okay, I've
Speaker 2: made it. Oh my gosh, there's X amount of money
Speaker 2: in my bank. I'm helping this many people, I've got
Speaker 2: this many followers. Like back then, I was I was leading,
Speaker 2: I think, in in that industry. So I thought that
Speaker 2: was successful. But that didn't last very long that feeling.
Speaker 2: So what I've learned over the years is yes, money
Speaker 2: and having followers and having I suppose a little bit
Speaker 2: of fame. Even I thought, yes, that's cool and blah
Speaker 2: blah blah, but it is not what makes me happy.
Speaker 2: Money definitely takes away stress, which can help with your happiness.
Speaker 2: But I think happiness is just such an inside choice.
Speaker 2: It's something every single day that I push to find
Speaker 2: joy in all the moments. It doesn't mean that every
Speaker 2: day is happy and positive and everything's smooth sailing, no way.
Speaker 2: There's challenges in your life, my life, everyone's life. Everyone
Speaker 2: listening will be thinking of ten things that you know
Speaker 2: might not be going to plan. It might be hard.
Speaker 2: But I make a conscious choice every single day to
Speaker 2: find joy, and I think I can feel happy. When
Speaker 2: I feel happy, that's when I feel most successful. And
Speaker 2: also just contribution. Contribution is a massive, massive, need of
Speaker 2: mine to always be giving back. If I'm not giving
Speaker 2: back and being outside of my little bubble, if I
Speaker 2: get stuck in my own head and stuck in my
Speaker 2: bubble and get into that suppose victim way of living,
Speaker 2: and I'm not contributing and helping the bigger picture and
Speaker 2: the community, and I don't feel as successful and I'm
Speaker 2: making a difference, that's what I feel. Yes, this is
Speaker 2: what I'm meant to be doing, and this is what
Speaker 2: feels good.
Speaker 1: I think that's so interesting because I think a lot
Speaker 1: of us go through that kind of existential crisis of
Speaker 1: success where what you once thought were your milestones, you
Speaker 1: get there, they don't bring you the happiness that you thought,
Speaker 1: and then you're sort of like, well, what is this
Speaker 1: all about? Then? And you realize that you can't attach
Speaker 1: your happiness to the things that will never fulfill you
Speaker 1: once you get there, that like they're attainable, but they're
Speaker 1: kind of not, like it'll never be enough if you
Speaker 1: attach it to things that are just volume and you know,
Speaker 1: numbers and stuff, because you're always going to want more
Speaker 1: once you get there, Whereas if you turn it into
Speaker 1: an internal operation, it's like you can have that every day,
Speaker 1: regardless of what's going on around you.
Speaker 2: And I think to have full emotional freedom is to
Speaker 2: not have any attachments to anything, any any situation, any outcome.
Speaker 2: I think that is true emotional freedom and that brings
Speaker 2: a lot of happiness and like ease through life as well.
Speaker 2: And I think think a lot of women, especially listening,
Speaker 2: will relate to this, like they think, when I get
Speaker 2: to this body weight, when I look like that, when
Speaker 2: I get this partner, that's and I'll be happy. And
Speaker 2: they spend you know, six months, a year, five years
Speaker 2: walking towards this goal because that's where happiness is. That
Speaker 2: they forget to enjoy that ride, that journey, and there
Speaker 2: goes five years of their life. Then they get that
Speaker 2: six back and they go, oh what now, Holy shit?
Speaker 2: What now. That's why I think detaching happiness as a
Speaker 2: destination and instead trying to look at happiness as a
Speaker 2: journey and find that every day you have a choice
Speaker 2: on what you focus and what you focus on is
Speaker 2: what you feel. So if you focus on all the negatives,
Speaker 2: you're going to feel all that. If you can focus
Speaker 2: on the positive, focus on the gratitude, focus on what
Speaker 2: you do have, not what you don't have you will
Speaker 2: feel that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm so motivated and inspired right now.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is why we love you. So before
Speaker 1: we move on to the next section, just from your
Speaker 1: actual technical training and fitness and nutrition side, I'd love
Speaker 1: to pick your brains while we have you, because that
Speaker 1: is you've become such an inspiration on lifestyle overall, but
Speaker 1: obviously have your beginnings in fitness and wellness and nutrition.
Speaker 1: So from a practical standpoint, if you had to leave
Speaker 1: people with maybe your three top fitness tips from all
Speaker 1: of your past decade of learning and growing, what would
Speaker 1: they be? And I imagine that the mistake of attaching
Speaker 1: things to really tangible goals is probably one of them
Speaker 1: that you see quite often.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's quite a few. My top three fitness goals.
Speaker 2: First of all, I would say find something you enjoy,
Speaker 2: find movement, and find food you actually enjoy, because if
Speaker 2: you are not enjoying what you're doing safe. If you
Speaker 2: told me, if you said to me Ashley, for you
Speaker 2: to lose weight, be fit, healthy and strong, you need
Speaker 2: to run fifteen fifteen kilometers a day and eat chicken
Speaker 2: and bccoli five days. There is no way I'm going
Speaker 2: to stick with that. So it is so important for
Speaker 2: me to find food and movement that really feels good
Speaker 2: for my body, so that I stick with it. Because
Speaker 2: whatever you do consistently, you're going to get a result.
Speaker 2: It's when you're jumping off and on and doing things
Speaker 2: you don't enjoy and canceling. You know, fast going to
Speaker 2: go for a run tomorrow morning, You're probably going to
Speaker 2: cancel because I don't enjoy it. And so finding something
Speaker 2: that you really enjoy is really important. Stop comparing. We
Speaker 2: can sometimes start on our health and fitness journey, and
Speaker 2: if you're just starting, but I've been doing this for
Speaker 2: eleven years. You're comparing your chapter one with my chapter thirty,
Speaker 2: that's going to make you feel like shit. The comparison
Speaker 2: needs to stop it just it really does hold us back.
Speaker 2: And I think the last one is and definitely not
Speaker 2: the least important one. It is so important is to
Speaker 2: have support and accountability around you. It's great to think
Speaker 2: that you can keep your motivation and discipline by yourself.
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, we're human and we
Speaker 2: thrive on connection and we thrive on doing things together.
Speaker 2: And I think having a tribe or just a backbone
Speaker 2: of support to help you through those days that are
Speaker 2: a bit challenging, because there's going to be challenging days
Speaker 2: with health and fitness where you feel like giving up,
Speaker 2: where it feels too hard, We are not getting the
Speaker 2: results that you expected to get, and you want to
Speaker 2: go back into your old habits, and you consciously have
Speaker 2: to make those decisions to keep going. So having a
Speaker 2: backbone of support is really really important. People that you
Speaker 2: know wanting to lift you up, wanting to meet you
Speaker 2: for that walk, wanting to help you choose healthy meals,
Speaker 2: like a partner, even your significant other, having them support
Speaker 2: you with your goals is really really important. They'd be
Speaker 2: my top three.
Speaker 1: That's such a good one, That last one. I think
Speaker 1: just even from your journey to this point, you can
Speaker 1: see the impact both ways of significant people in your life.
Speaker 1: They really do shape your experience and how you feel
Speaker 1: about yourself. And that quote is just so true. You know,
Speaker 1: you're the sum of the five people you spend the
Speaker 1: most time with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that one. Checking everyone again, even lately,
Speaker 2: I feel like my closest friends, the one I'm surrounding
Speaker 2: myself with, like we're all on this big growth journey.
Speaker 2: And that was such a almost like a grieving of
Speaker 2: some older friendships. But I still love them, but they
Speaker 2: can change and adapt. And when you're checking with the
Speaker 2: five people that you're hanging around the most, I feel
Speaker 2: like they do really impact your energy and what you
Speaker 2: say and how you do things. So I do love
Speaker 2: that one. I think it's great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally. And it is important to recognize that
Speaker 1: the five people, depending on what you're going through, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to be the same at all times. It
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you don't have other friends, it's just the
Speaker 1: five that are in your most immediate like the ones
Speaker 1: you're interacting with the most, need to reflect what that
Speaker 1: period of time is.
Speaker 2: For you that season.
Speaker 1: Yeah totally. So in terms of nutrition, what are the
Speaker 1: things that you found that you do love? Like, for example,
Speaker 1: if you're on a desert island, what are three items
Speaker 1: of food that you couldn't live without?
Speaker 2: Yes, definitely, anyone who follows me on social media, I
Speaker 2: am obsessed with sweet potato. I get enough. I have
Speaker 2: it every single day, if not twice a day. I
Speaker 2: whether it's roasted, whether it's mashed, whether it's fried, whether
Speaker 2: it's in chips, whether it's even raw. I love it like,
Speaker 2: I'm so passionate about sweet potato. You are my husband
Speaker 2: or anyone. It is just so sweet topriato.
Speaker 1: Number one, did you do say you're so passionate about I.
Speaker 2: Am because there's so much you can do for it.
Speaker 2: It tastes so delicious and it's so satisfying. I love it.
Speaker 2: I do love it. If you ever come to my house,
Speaker 2: I will make you my favorite sweeptato dish.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. When I can go more than five
Speaker 1: kilometers from my house, I'm there, babe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that's number one. Number two would be frozen banana. Oh,
Speaker 2: just because it's so yummy. It's the base of pretty
Speaker 2: much all my smoothies. It makes things thick and creamy.
Speaker 2: You can make began ice cream out of it. I
Speaker 2: just think it's so versatile. It's such a staple ingredient.
Speaker 2: And then number three, which I know you'll agree with me,
Speaker 2: is my clean treats.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so go it's delicious.
Speaker 2: And I'm all about living a healthy, balanced lifestyle or
Speaker 2: also not depriving yourself for what you love. And I'm
Speaker 2: a sweet tooth, but I don't want to be blocking
Speaker 2: downing a block of cabria every single night because my
Speaker 2: body hates dairy. I don't want to eat all the
Speaker 2: process crap. So clean tiss are just a healthy alternative
Speaker 2: and there's lots of versatility with the flavors, so they'll
Speaker 2: be my top three yummy foods that I would have
Speaker 2: on my desert island.
Speaker 1: And they also so easy to make. Like my big
Speaker 1: barrier in the kitchen is like I just don't it's
Speaker 1: not my natural habitat, you know, like I just get confused.
Speaker 1: It's like it's really overwhelming. I love that you just
Speaker 1: like you just add like two or three ingredients, mix
Speaker 1: it all together, and they're done.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. So it's all about making it easy
Speaker 2: and maintainable because what you stick with is how you're
Speaker 2: going to get your results and enjoy it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally. So speaking of your product business, and you
Speaker 1: also have a fashion line as well. That leads me
Speaker 1: to the fact that you're also a businesswoman on the side.
Speaker 1: I mean, like you have just so many things going on.
Speaker 1: How was moving into a product range both in food
Speaker 1: and in fashion from having been the product all that time?
Speaker 1: Like was that a really big adjustment? How did you
Speaker 1: find that? I feel like it's just such a different
Speaker 1: I've got kind of gone the other way from only
Speaker 1: being a product to now sort of being the service
Speaker 1: as well, and it's they're totally different.
Speaker 2: Hard, very hard, as you would know logistically behind the
Speaker 2: scenes of going from online to product was very hard.
Speaker 2: But in saying that, I do have a few different
Speaker 2: product based businesses now as well as you know my app,
Speaker 2: but baseline for me having an active word label. I
Speaker 2: want everyone to live their best life, but I also
Speaker 2: want them to have the best active wear. And I
Speaker 2: live in active where day in, day out is what
Speaker 2: you're seeing in unless I'm going on a date night
Speaker 2: with my husband. But I have such a passion and
Speaker 2: a pool and a desire to create the best active wear.
Speaker 2: I love the whole process. I love the designing, I
Speaker 2: love the sampling, I love the marketing, I love the
Speaker 2: photo shoots. I love seeing all the girls in Baseline
Speaker 2: in my active wear. So it was definitely challenging. There's
Speaker 2: been a lot of ups and downs, and even like
Speaker 2: little things like ordering too much stock and then collecting
Speaker 2: dust on a shelf, like there's so many challenges behind
Speaker 2: the scenes or website crashes or stop them arriving like
Speaker 2: Corona this year has been so challenging just trying to
Speaker 2: get our stock. But overall, yeah, it's hard, but I
Speaker 2: would not do any I wouldn't want to do anything else.
Speaker 2: I absolutely love the whole process of it, and I
Speaker 2: feel like I'll be doing this when I'm eighty, Like,
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: Wow, It's really cool how you started with one thing
Speaker 1: and then you've gradually added all these different elements as
Speaker 1: you've grown as well, and then added the book, so
Speaker 1: you've got like you're operating all air your brain at once.
Speaker 1: But I feel like some people prefer to have that,
Speaker 1: not just one single focus, but they are fulfilled from
Speaker 1: lots of different things at once.
Speaker 2: And I think, yeah, when I think about it, I'm like, WHOA,
Speaker 2: I do have a lot going on. They seem to
Speaker 2: just they really do flow because they all are interconnected.
Speaker 2: They're all still based around helping women with their confidence,
Speaker 2: helping women make healthy decisions with their lives, helping inspire, educate, motivate,
Speaker 2: lead women to build a healthy foundation. Like it all
Speaker 2: comes in and matches together, where it's the clean treats,
Speaker 2: the act of wear my at the book, Like it's
Speaker 2: all got a purpose to help and to serve. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I find it really flowy, just flowy.
Speaker 1: You know, just flowy. Before we continue with today's chat,
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Speaker 1: back to the show, So two last quick questions before
Speaker 1: we move to the more juicy n Ata section. One
Speaker 1: of the things that I find really inspiring about you
Speaker 1: is you've managed to integrate motherhood into your life in
Speaker 1: a way that it is a really difficult juggle to
Speaker 1: run your own businesses, and especially when you do have
Speaker 1: an audience that's so big and that asks so much
Speaker 1: of you, and then also have a child that you're
Speaker 1: trying to grow into the world and be a really
Speaker 1: present mum. So how has motherhood You mentioned that was
Speaker 1: one of your big chapter changes. How has that changed
Speaker 1: your views on your own health and fitness, on balance,
Speaker 1: on running businesses, on your expectations of yourself, on like
Speaker 1: you've written the book since then, Like, how have the
Speaker 1: sort of fifteen lessons that have changed your life changed
Speaker 1: to the fifteen that you might have had before you
Speaker 1: had a child.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he changed everything for me. I felt like I've
Speaker 2: always had a lot of purpose to help, but he
Speaker 2: just gave me a whole new purpose on life. And
Speaker 2: he is the driving force for me to continue to
Speaker 2: do my work, to unpack my shit, to be better
Speaker 2: person because I just want the best for him, and
Speaker 2: I can't give him the best unless I'm being the
Speaker 2: best for myself. And that's where I want to really
Speaker 2: touch on and talk to you. And the audience about
Speaker 2: making sure that we're looking after ourselves, because you know,
Speaker 2: a lot of women and people say like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: going to be the best I can be for my kids.
Speaker 2: But if we are not filling our own cup up
Speaker 2: and not looking after ourselves and not taking time to
Speaker 2: take care of our bodies in our minds, we're pouring
Speaker 2: from an empty cup. And one of my favorite sayings
Speaker 2: is I always want to give everyone around me the
Speaker 2: best of me, not the rest of me. So yes,
Speaker 2: I have my son, but he's not all I have.
Speaker 2: I'm a mom, Yes, I'm a wife, I'm a business woman,
Speaker 2: I'm ashy, I'm fun, I'm a friend. There's so many
Speaker 2: layers as to who I am, and I like to
Speaker 2: really honor all of those. And I think a lot
Speaker 2: of moms can get really lost in motherhood because they
Speaker 2: just give everything to the child, which you know is amazing.
Speaker 2: We want to do that, but me personally, I think
Speaker 2: it's really important to make sure we're still living our
Speaker 2: lives for ourselves as well and doing things that light
Speaker 2: us up and make us happy and give back, and
Speaker 2: we're not dimming that side of us just to be
Speaker 2: a mum. I think we can have our cake and
Speaker 2: eat at all. I think I can be a mum
Speaker 2: and I can be a business woman. I can be
Speaker 2: sexy wife, and I can be fun friend. I can
Speaker 2: be you know, I've got so many parts of me
Speaker 2: and I don't ever want to shut any of them
Speaker 2: down because I don't believe that's me being my authentic self.
Speaker 2: And I want him to see that whatever he wants
Speaker 2: to live in life, whatever he wants to achieve, whoever
Speaker 2: he wants to be, he can do that. But I
Speaker 2: need to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.
Speaker 1: That's such a valuable will reminder. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of women do. See. There's so much mum guilt because
Speaker 1: there are so many societal norms and expectations around you
Speaker 1: what a dedicated motherhood sort of neff like.
Speaker 2: We talk about this so much. Even the comments I've
Speaker 2: got over the years like oh you're a part time mum. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that one comes flying at me a lot, And you know,
Speaker 2: I see that for what it is. It's obviously got
Speaker 2: nothing to do with me. It's obviously highlighting something that
Speaker 2: they might be feeling or not knowing how to express.
Speaker 2: But there is so much mum guilt around I think
Speaker 2: the word guilt, it's got a lot of heaviness to it.
Speaker 2: And when other mums come to me and say, do
Speaker 2: you ever feel mumguilt? Like, for sure, there's times where
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, you know, I've spent a lot of
Speaker 2: time working this week where I could have been with Tage.
Speaker 2: That's his name, just in case you don't know. Guilt
Speaker 2: is when you think whatever you're doing is wrong, and
Speaker 2: then there's shame around that. So when mums come to
Speaker 2: me and say, I feel so guilt. You have gone
Speaker 2: to the gym. So you've gone to the gym to
Speaker 2: work on your health, to work on your fitness, and
Speaker 2: to clear your head, to work on your mental health.
Speaker 2: Should you feel guilty for all of those things? Do
Speaker 2: you come back more patient? Do you come back more happy?
Speaker 2: Do you come back healthier with more energy? You make
Speaker 2: better decisions with your food? Should you feel guilty? Abound that?
Speaker 2: And when they heal of that, it just changes their
Speaker 2: mindset to me, like, oh god, why are you feeling
Speaker 2: guilty about going to the gym? Like how much? How
Speaker 2: many positive effects come off from going to the gym?
Speaker 2: And I also say to them, would you if I
Speaker 2: said to you, I'm feeling guilty of going to the gym?
Speaker 2: Would you would you reconfirm that, say, yeah, you should
Speaker 2: feel guilty, you shouldn't have gone to the gym. You
Speaker 2: would never speak to your best friend like that, So
Speaker 2: why would you speak to yourself like that? All this
Speaker 2: respect and love and empathy and compassion that you have
Speaker 2: for all those around you that you care for, that
Speaker 2: you don't give that to yourself.
Speaker 1: It's such a such a valuable reminder, and so much
Speaker 1: of what's really valuable about your message, and particularly the
Speaker 1: book I found, is that all fifteen lessons, and I'm
Speaker 1: not going to reveal them all to everyone here because
Speaker 1: they have to go and buy the book, but all
Speaker 1: of them are just reframing. They're not necessarily changing your circumstances.
Speaker 1: Because I think we we straight away go to like
Speaker 1: what do we need to change in my life? It's like,
Speaker 1: maybe you don't need to change anything. Maybe it's just
Speaker 1: the mindset that you bring to those things that changes.
Speaker 1: Like instead of guilt for exercising or taking time for you,
Speaker 1: it's actually a community service. It's actually being a responsible person.
Speaker 2: And it's changing the meaning on things. I think the
Speaker 2: immediately put on situations can really be powerful in a
Speaker 2: negative or a positive way, and we get to choose.
Speaker 1: So before we do, I keep saying, before we move
Speaker 1: to the next section, I just have so much to
Speaker 1: talk to you about. This is so interesting with all
Speaker 1: the platforms and forums that you have. What led you
Speaker 1: to a book? What inspired you to think this is
Speaker 1: the right time for a new media and to put
Speaker 1: it in book form and to make it so concise,
Speaker 1: Like what sparked that kind of decision that I'm going
Speaker 1: to extend into something different, a different medium to the
Speaker 1: way that you usually communicate with your audience.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. I mean I love Instagram and love Snapchat.
Speaker 2: I'm a massive Snapchat persons, and I love YouTube. I
Speaker 2: love all the platforms. But I feel like I can
Speaker 2: only just touch the surface. I can speak about something,
Speaker 2: and you know, even on Instagram, I learned the other
Speaker 2: day you can only have a hundred of those little
Speaker 2: squares at the top of your stories. And I have
Speaker 2: capped that quite a few times. So yes, I can talk.
Speaker 2: Everyone knows I can talk underwater. But anyways, last year
Speaker 2: I was running these retreats for about twenty girls, so
Speaker 2: twenty women from I was going to say just Australia,
Speaker 2: but a couple flew over from America and Canada and
Speaker 2: we would come together for what I named the Ultimate
Speaker 2: Girls Weekend. And the weekend was full of connection, laughter,
Speaker 2: good food, education, motivation, training, trip to buyer and like
Speaker 2: it was just whatever you can think of any girls weekend,
Speaker 2: Like we bought it all together. And one of the
Speaker 2: talks that I did, we brought in lots of different experts,
Speaker 2: but one of the talks that I did with the
Speaker 2: girls was just the fifteen Lessons that Changed My life.
Speaker 2: And I would talk to the girls for hours on
Speaker 2: this and they would ask questions and it's just such
Speaker 2: this awesome like morning that we had together and at
Speaker 2: the end they would just like, well that lesson, like
Speaker 2: that's going to change my life. I never thought about
Speaker 2: it like that, or I can relate to you on
Speaker 2: that I've been through something similar. Thanks so much talking
Speaker 2: about this, And I realized the impact that that one
Speaker 2: talk was having with these twenty girls. But I went,
Speaker 2: how can I get that to so many more? And yes,
Speaker 2: I could have done on YouTube, I could have done this
Speaker 2: and that, but I just thought a book that everyone
Speaker 2: can go back and read, and it's really easy to
Speaker 2: digest and they can take it at their own pace.
Speaker 2: Was a really good idea and I'm really really proud
Speaker 2: of it, and I feel like it will really changed
Speaker 2: the lives of so many women. It's very relatable, it's
Speaker 2: very easy to digest the information, and I think even
Speaker 2: when you read it, you might not connect with all
Speaker 2: the chapters right now, but in a year's time you
Speaker 2: might go through something similar and go, oh, God actually
Speaker 2: spoke about it. I'm going to go back and read
Speaker 2: that chapter and see how she figured out her way
Speaker 2: to get through that. So I think the book's going
Speaker 2: to help so many people for different reasons. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm really proud of it.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you are. I think that's one
Speaker 1: of the things about a book is it is really
Speaker 1: timeless and you can come back to it over and
Speaker 1: over and it is It's there's something really beautiful about
Speaker 1: having a physical book in a digital world where I'll
Speaker 1: like see something really really motivating that I will want
Speaker 1: to come back to in a year and I can't
Speaker 1: find the link, or I haven't saved it, or it's disappeared,
Speaker 1: or when it's physical, you can go back to it.
Speaker 1: You can scribble it, you can like leave post it notes.
Speaker 1: I just I love the nature of interacting with the book,
Speaker 1: and I think it's beautiful the way that you haven't
Speaker 1: over complicated it. It's beautiful, like all the little icons
Speaker 1: and stuff. It's just such a pleasure to read. And
Speaker 1: I think you can have a beautiful connection with someone
Speaker 1: in a digital world, but to have something in your
Speaker 1: hands that you're interacting with, that you know you poured
Speaker 1: over to write and that I'm now like gay and
Speaker 1: it's just a beautiful, beautiful experience.
Speaker 2: It's special, isn't that? It really is?
Speaker 1: Yeah, So the big section you're na ayta, you know,
Speaker 1: starting from the narrative that you had to break the
Speaker 1: self doubt they came with that. You've talked about comparison.
Speaker 1: That's mum girl. You've touched on everything. I know you've
Speaker 1: had a lot of trolling, and I think that is
Speaker 1: a side effect of having a big influence. I kind
Speaker 1: of see it as you've kind of made it when
Speaker 1: you've got a hater, but it doesn't make it any
Speaker 1: less painful. There's just a world of negativity that I'm
Speaker 1: sure has come with building a profile over the last decade.
Speaker 1: So talk us through some of your toughest time, some
Speaker 1: of your biggest challenges. I think we get quite a
Speaker 1: skewed version of trolling or a skewed version of people's
Speaker 1: experiences because it's not that lovely to talk about. It
Speaker 1: doesn't sort of get the same airtime as the positive stuff.
Speaker 1: So yeah, just take us through the behind the scenes
Speaker 1: and then how you've dealt with that, and keep bouncing back.
Speaker 2: I love talking about it, and then I don't. I
Speaker 2: love talking about it because there is so many valuable
Speaker 2: lessons and I'm so proud of myself that I've gone
Speaker 2: through that and gotten out of it. But I never
Speaker 2: want to talk about it and for anyone listening to
Speaker 2: think that I'm telling these stories to their victim, because
Speaker 2: I'm not. I'm actually so grateful for all of it.
Speaker 2: It's definitely been a lot over the years, and I
Speaker 2: think because I started Instagram when it first started, I
Speaker 2: made a lot of mistakes along the way. As you
Speaker 2: do growing up, as you do in new careers, as
Speaker 2: you do a new relationship. We all make mistakes, but
Speaker 2: mine was just on a platform for millions of people
Speaker 2: to giveudget. You know, some of the mistakes I made,
Speaker 2: I felt like saying back to these trolls of people,
Speaker 2: have you never done that before? Are you that perfect?
Speaker 2: You've never made a mistake before, and hear you by
Speaker 2: judging me for you know, falling over here or doing
Speaker 2: this and that. It's definitely been very challenging. I thought
Speaker 2: I was very thick skinned until a couple of years ago,
Speaker 2: which I talked about this really deep in my book.
Speaker 2: It was the hardest chapter to write, and even when
Speaker 2: I was speaking on the audiobook I did an audiobook
Speaker 2: for the book, I just cried. It was really really
Speaker 2: hard to even revisit it. It was a tough time
Speaker 2: in my life where a group of girls decided to
Speaker 2: make a hate page, and I'm guessing it was almost
Speaker 2: like a gossip page. You know how we everyone talks
Speaker 2: about the Kadashians eye you see what Kim did here,
Speaker 2: and this has happening. Almost felt like I was and
Speaker 2: on my reality show that they were very interested in
Speaker 2: and liked to gossip about it. So I think it
Speaker 2: started off as an innocent kind of gossip page, and
Speaker 2: they were screen recording and taking screenshots of everything. But
Speaker 2: you know, a couple of hundred girls turned to a
Speaker 2: couple of thousand turned into ten thousands, and it got
Speaker 2: to a point where these women we ended up having
Speaker 2: to take legal action. It was absolutely awful. Everything I did,
Speaker 2: everything I said, everywhere I went, I was followed, screenshot
Speaker 2: it was posting this forum. There was threats, you know,
Speaker 2: not just online at my house, people following me home,
Speaker 2: threats of my son. It was awful. And at the
Speaker 2: start I found it so hard, and I was vocal
Speaker 2: about it being so hard, and I tried to talk
Speaker 2: about it online. But the more I spoke about it,
Speaker 2: the more it fed them, and the more I spoke
Speaker 2: about it, the more I could also see the impact
Speaker 2: it had on my husband, or my mom, on my friends,
Speaker 2: people around me. So that's when I started to shut down.
Speaker 2: I started to think, Oh, I'm going to put on
Speaker 2: a brave face. I'm going to pretend nothing's wrong. I'm
Speaker 2: going to suppress it. I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay.
Speaker 2: And obviously you can only do that for so long.
Speaker 2: And then it got to the point where I just,
Speaker 2: I honestly didn't want to get out of bed anymore.
Speaker 2: I had this beautiful two year old son two or
Speaker 2: three must have been. I had an amazing supportive husband,
Speaker 2: had all these friends and family, so many beautiful women
Speaker 2: online that loved me and supported me, but the hate
Speaker 2: was just overriding all and I got to a point
Speaker 2: where I just I didn't want to be here anymore.
Speaker 2: I thought the only way this pain and this suffocation
Speaker 2: of people watching me and criticizing everything I do, was
Speaker 2: to go. And obviously that at that point was the
Speaker 2: point that I reached out for help, and thank goodness
Speaker 2: I did, and I knew I would never actually go
Speaker 2: and do something to myself, but I just didn't know,
Speaker 2: and I didn't think there was another option for this
Speaker 2: to stop. And I also thought, gosh, I'm getting through
Speaker 2: this just but what about all the other people they're
Speaker 2: doing this too, Like maybe if I was to end
Speaker 2: my life, maybe then they'd learn and they wouldn't do
Speaker 2: this anymore. Maybe that would be a standpoint of Oh,
Speaker 2: we can't troll because look at the impact it has
Speaker 2: on everyone. That was where my mind was at. It
Speaker 2: was awful. So reached out and I got two life
Speaker 2: coaches and I had sessions with them for six months.
Speaker 2: The coross Us an arm and leg. But it was
Speaker 2: the best thing that ever happened. To me once again.
Speaker 2: They taught me so much about why people do the
Speaker 2: things that they do, about compassion, about human psychology, and
Speaker 2: I learned so much and I'm so grateful for that
Speaker 2: experience now because I feel like I have such a
Speaker 2: valuable lesson to teach and I've gotten through it and
Speaker 2: I conspire and help other women get through really tough times,
Speaker 2: not just with online trolling. But I promise you there
Speaker 2: is always a way out of things. There is always
Speaker 2: someone that cares for you, there is always someone to listen.
Speaker 2: There's always someone that can understand. It's just been brave
Speaker 2: enough to stand up and go, hey, I'm not okay.
Speaker 2: That's my story of trolling. In a nutshell, it was
Speaker 2: an awful one, but I'm really grateful for the experience
Speaker 2: and what it's taught me and how it shaped me.
Speaker 2: And I've felt so much resilience as well, which is
Speaker 2: so invaluable. I don't think I can get that from
Speaker 2: much else but going through a really, really tough time.
Speaker 1: And I'm so grateful that you do talk about it
Speaker 1: despite it being really painful and just icky, because it
Speaker 1: does fuel the side call. Sometimes when you do talk
Speaker 1: about it, it kind of gives the trolls of satisfaction
Speaker 1: that they've had an impact in your life, and you
Speaker 1: kind of just don't even want to talk about it
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: But that's why I avoided it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think it's so important to talk about firstly,
Speaker 1: because so many people who see the real highlights of
Speaker 1: your life aren't in a position where they could ever
Speaker 1: understand there's no equivalent in their life of trolling at
Speaker 1: the scale that you get it, And it's so important
Speaker 1: to remind people that this happens. Like I think people
Speaker 1: don't know otherwise they don't know the risks of like
Speaker 1: imagine it's so hard to explain, but it's like if
Speaker 1: everyone's self doubts and their worst fears were actually being
Speaker 1: voiced all day every day. Like that's the closest I
Speaker 1: can kind of describe it as. And I think it's
Speaker 1: important that people know that this happens and know then
Speaker 1: what your strength actually is to have come through that
Speaker 1: and know that it can be like social media can
Speaker 1: be a very damaging and scary and overwhelming place, but
Speaker 1: you can build the tools to face even the harshest
Speaker 1: of criticism that's like a total barage at you twenty
Speaker 1: f you can still build the tools to come through
Speaker 1: and find confidence and joy and find the excitement in
Speaker 1: your life again, because anything negative does for a while,
Speaker 1: it takes the joy out of everything you do.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent.
Speaker 1: But I think the fact that you've found it again
Speaker 1: is really inspiring for others that no matter what the
Speaker 1: challenge is, digital or not, that you can get help,
Speaker 1: get therapy, talk to friends, build the right support network
Speaker 1: and be able to build that resilience back up again
Speaker 1: against any kind of negativity.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. And what I always love to say
Speaker 2: too is you can always find a lesson in something, too,
Speaker 2: And if you can find a lesson, that's your gift.
Speaker 2: Life is happening for you, not to you. That happened
Speaker 2: for me to help me grow, to help me heal
Speaker 2: even old wounds of high school bullying. You know, lots
Speaker 2: of stuff resurfaced because I hadn't healed it. There's so much,
Speaker 2: so many gifts that can come in the most challenging,
Speaker 2: painful times, and we might not see them straight away,
Speaker 2: but I think if we can hunt for them, we
Speaker 2: can find the gift and it can make the whole
Speaker 2: situation worthwhile and a lot lighter.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just I have so much admiration
Speaker 1: for you. I've had like two haters, and it literally
Speaker 1: bowled me over for weeks and weeks and weeks and
Speaker 1: took all the joy I had, everything I was doing.
Speaker 2: I just whether it's one comment and you've had two
Speaker 2: and I've had probably thousands, can cut ash in and
Speaker 2: probably gets millions on the daily. You know, no matter
Speaker 2: what it is, it's all valid. I don't. I don't
Speaker 2: lie the comparison. I'm like, oh, girls come to me sometimes, Oh,
Speaker 2: I know you've had it so much harder, but I'm
Speaker 2: really struggling with this one. And I shouldn't be upset
Speaker 2: because of this one. I said, you not a robot.
Speaker 2: Yes you should be upset. That is valid for you
Speaker 2: to feel like that. Doesn't matter how many I've had.
Speaker 2: It's not a comparison for who has it harder. That's
Speaker 2: how you feel. That's your truth, and we need to
Speaker 2: let's let's sit with that and let's work through that. So,
Speaker 2: whether you've had two or thousands, it's all valid. It's
Speaker 2: never it's never nice to experience or to have someone
Speaker 2: say things about you, or assume things about you, or
Speaker 2: spread rumors about you or post your ugliest photo. That's
Speaker 2: not fun. No one wants to go through that, really, And.
Speaker 1: I also think it's good for people who haven't had
Speaker 1: that experience and who don't necessarily live on the platform
Speaker 1: in the way that we do, to understand that. I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people think, oh, well, you put
Speaker 1: yourself out there. You put a lot of your life online,
Speaker 1: so you kind of you invite that. And I think
Speaker 1: even with like Hollywood level celebrities, people say that that
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, you get hate, yeah you get splashed
Speaker 1: all over the media, but you kind of put yourself
Speaker 1: out there. But I don't think anyone putting themselves out
Speaker 1: there invites attacks on your children, invites stalking, invites like
Speaker 1: it's important to remind people it's not. It is a
Speaker 1: necessary outcome of having a profile, because that's how the
Speaker 1: landscape works. There will always be jealousy into a poppy syndrome,
Speaker 1: but it shouldn't be that way. Like it's not normal.
Speaker 1: It's not a normal level of just subtle criticism. It's
Speaker 1: like open attacks and physical world following and stuff that
Speaker 1: you've had to deal with.
Speaker 2: And I like that comment of oh, well, you know
Speaker 2: you should expect that because you put yourself out there,
Speaker 2: it's like it almost validates that. It's like, is that right? Then?
Speaker 2: Is that okay for them to do that? It is
Speaker 2: never okay for bullying, and we are losing too many people,
Speaker 2: not just young, older from online trolling. Like when it
Speaker 2: needs to stop, it does, I'll always be an advocate
Speaker 2: for standing up for it it not being okay, And
Speaker 2: I'm so glad it happened to me and not a
Speaker 2: thirteen year old girl that couldn't handle it, tipter over
Speaker 2: the age. I'm so grateful they were on me because
Speaker 2: they've got to it. But you never know the impact
Speaker 2: of your words. You don't know, you saying one little
Speaker 2: comment to someone online that could be the last straw
Speaker 2: for them when they've already gone through losing their mum
Speaker 2: to cancer, They've gone through their house being robbed, they've
Speaker 2: lost their job, their partnership. You know, you don't know
Speaker 2: what they've gone through, and then your tiny comment is
Speaker 2: just that one war that just they say no too much.
Speaker 2: Your words can have such impact and we need to
Speaker 2: remember they can be so powerful in a negative and
Speaker 2: a positive way. So just choose your words wisely.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, Ashley. That's I mean that if anything comes
Speaker 1: out of you sharing that experience, that's what I hope
Speaker 1: that people take from it, just to remember the impact
Speaker 1: of their words, but also to remember from a positive
Speaker 1: side that the one thing you say could be the
Speaker 1: thing that pushes someone over the edge towards their joy
Speaker 1: or towards them dream. Your words really matter, and I
Speaker 1: think we forget that, yeah, because we're like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: not famous, Like they're not listening to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent. We should be cheering for each
Speaker 2: other and pushing each other and encouraging each other. It
Speaker 2: definitely works on the other end of the spectrum as well.
Speaker 1: So from the other end of the spectrum. Something I've
Speaker 1: found just over the past I think maybe eighteen months
Speaker 1: or two years is there's of course the negative side
Speaker 1: of over connection and the digital world, but I've learned
Speaker 1: you can also overdo it in a positive way, like
Speaker 1: you can have too much of a good thing as well.
Speaker 1: Everything that you do when you love your job doesn't
Speaker 1: feel like work, which means it's very hard to put
Speaker 1: in boundaries because people are messaging you and you are
Speaker 1: impacting their life and you want to be part of it.
Speaker 1: And you want to show that you appreciate their support
Speaker 1: so much and replied every message and all that kind
Speaker 1: of thing. But I think on the flip side of that,
Speaker 1: social media draws you in on in a good way
Speaker 1: because you do have this platform and community, but then
Speaker 1: it does consume all of you and can easily lead
Speaker 1: to burnout and you're overconnected and you don't have time
Speaker 1: in the real world and you don't get to just
Speaker 1: switch off. So how do you deal with that over
Speaker 1: connection and that I have such an internal people pleaser
Speaker 1: that I feel like I do want to acknowledge every
Speaker 1: comment and I do want to sort of live on
Speaker 1: the platform to just like show my gratitude. But sometimes
Speaker 1: you have to just have a boundary to preserve your
Speaker 1: like yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I totally hear you, totally feel you totally understand.
Speaker 2: Live it daily, live it daily. I'm exactly like you.
Speaker 2: I am just so appreciative of every comment, every day
Speaker 2: and every life that I want to acknowledge ever and
Speaker 2: to make sure they feel that I'm so grateful. I
Speaker 2: think over the years I've gotten a lot better at
Speaker 2: setting boundaries and just being better at my time management.
Speaker 2: So you know, yes, I'm very consumed in my work
Speaker 2: and I love it, so I find it very hard
Speaker 2: to stop working. But I also love being a mum.
Speaker 2: I also love having date nights. I also love my girlfriends.
Speaker 2: I also love going to get a massage. I also
Speaker 2: love listening to Cza on my morning walk. You know,
Speaker 2: there's so many other things that I doing that I
Speaker 2: set boundaries for all of that. And if I don't
Speaker 2: get to have my cake and eat it too, I
Speaker 2: use that quite a lot, but and it gets to
Speaker 2: all things that I love and enjoy. Then I don't
Speaker 2: feel balanced. I don't feel as happy. So I just
Speaker 2: am very good at planning my week and making sure
Speaker 2: that I'm incorporating all the things that make me happy,
Speaker 2: which include yeah, family time, work, my own time, self care,
Speaker 2: all of that. And when I don't do that, I
Speaker 2: definitely feel out of balance. And there is seasons and times.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying I'm perfect. There is seasons and time,
Speaker 2: especially around an active were launched and my whole week
Speaker 2: is consumed with shoots, building the website, making sure everything's
Speaker 2: ready to go. There is a lot of I suppose
Speaker 2: I want to say stress, that's the wrong word, but
Speaker 2: high energy and it needs my focus that even you know,
Speaker 2: next week we're shooting and we're getting ready for the campaign,
Speaker 2: and I've already said to Steve, my husband, like you know,
Speaker 2: he will need to do more of the parent life
Speaker 2: stuff because I'm going to be at work more. There's
Speaker 2: different seasons, so it's like being accepting of those times,
Speaker 2: but overall trying to find that balance of being connected everywhere,
Speaker 2: get off your phone, be connected to yourself, your partner,
Speaker 2: and online it's not just just the online world.
Speaker 1: Yes, easy to forget, but important to remember. Is there
Speaker 1: anything else that you want to mention in the n
Speaker 1: ATA section before we move on?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love to talk about just thinking of that.
Speaker 2: Naighty A is change. I feel like as we grow
Speaker 2: up we change so much. We change our careers, we
Speaker 2: change through who we are, we change our friendship groups,
Speaker 2: how we eat, how we move. I often joke to
Speaker 2: my husband and say, God, I feel like you've married
Speaker 2: seven different women. I wonder how many women you're going
Speaker 2: to marry because I change all the time. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: okay with the change, but I feel like online or
Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe even in different friendships or people
Speaker 2: around you that can struggle with seeing the change or
Speaker 2: who used to be, and I think we need to
Speaker 2: give it a little bit more recognition to the change
Speaker 2: in our us evolving and put it into perspective. When
Speaker 2: I first started, my first business was the Ashybynes Bikini
Speaker 2: Body Challenge. Oh my god, it was yeah. So it
Speaker 2: was this this twelve week challenge that was all around Australia,
Speaker 2: thousands of girls getting amazing results. It was, you know,
Speaker 2: where we built everything to what it is now. It
Speaker 2: was amazing, But all I was posting was me in bikinis.
Speaker 2: It was revolved around everyone looking good in a bikini
Speaker 2: because that's what I was hearing everyone wanted. So I
Speaker 2: feel like for so long and even now I get
Speaker 2: to put into this box of being this bikini girl,
Speaker 2: all the fitness girl, I'm like, hang in a second,
Speaker 2: There's so many more layers to me, and I've changed
Speaker 2: and evolved so much. It used to be I used
Speaker 2: to want to just look at a bikini. That was
Speaker 2: my focus for so many years. I trained so hard,
Speaker 2: I hate so well. It was my focus. That was
Speaker 2: what I wanted to be and that's definitely changed. Of course,
Speaker 2: we want to look good and feel confident, but there
Speaker 2: was so many layers to me, and I've evolved so
Speaker 2: much as a human. I think it's really important to
Speaker 2: remember that we all do change and evolve into love
Speaker 2: and have compassion and patience and love for people as
Speaker 2: they do change and grow.
Speaker 1: Oh that's such a good point, particularly in this year
Speaker 1: where everything is changing constantly. One constant is change. I
Speaker 1: think we are by default creatures of habit, and we
Speaker 1: do we do attat you know that word we're talking
Speaker 1: about before attachment. We do attached to how we think
Speaker 1: things are and then get really unsettled when they changed dramatically.
Speaker 1: But I think you're right. I think we're meant. Like
Speaker 1: we said before, everything happens in chapters or seasons, and
Speaker 1: they're meant to change, They're meant to roll over. You're
Speaker 1: meant if like my partner and Nick and I have
Speaker 1: been together for eleven years, if we hadn't been with
Speaker 1: seven other versions of each other, I'd be worried. Like
Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, well, I'm still nineteen year old me,
Speaker 1: Like that's a really true because she was drunk and
Speaker 1: like one last question on Ata that actually I hadn't
Speaker 1: thought of until now, But having been there, really forging
Speaker 1: and blazing a trail in this industry before it even
Speaker 1: really was an industry, and then adapting to a completely
Speaker 1: different market that is changing all the time and that
Speaker 1: has new entrants, and that has changed in what people
Speaker 1: want as well. I think the need for connection and
Speaker 1: authentic is kind of new. Like at the beginning it
Speaker 1: was a very polished and preened platformer, is now people
Speaker 1: are wanting a bit more as we all evolve and
Speaker 1: change with these times. How have you dealt with comparison
Speaker 1: with that need to keep innovating and keep doing different
Speaker 1: things and be new and fresh. But having such a
Speaker 1: saturated market now, and it's I find that you get
Speaker 1: so easily drawn into like oh, she's doing that, and
Speaker 1: I want to do that, And it's really hard to
Speaker 1: just keep the blinkers on and stay focused on why
Speaker 1: people come to you for what you do differently. And
Speaker 1: I think we often see something and our first reaction
Speaker 1: is every way that it's different to what we're doing.
Speaker 1: I must be doing it wrong, like oh my god,
Speaker 1: she's doing that, And especially in an industry that is
Speaker 1: the big players are all on digital, so you see
Speaker 1: it all constantly, like how do you stay focused in
Speaker 1: that environment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've really struggled with that over the last couple
Speaker 2: of years. I think once again this year has been
Speaker 2: my word of the year was alignment. And the last
Speaker 2: couple of years I felt a little bit out of
Speaker 2: alignment in trying. I was stuck in comparison of watching
Speaker 2: what everyone else was doing in the industry, and there
Speaker 2: was so many different ways to eat and move, and
Speaker 2: I just wanted to people please and have a platform
Speaker 2: that cave for everyone and have every single option. And
Speaker 2: I got so stuck in that rabbit hole of doing
Speaker 2: things that really weren't aligned with me. And I was,
Speaker 2: you know, trying to have this meal plan, this way
Speaker 2: to do things, and I was like, oh, it's not
Speaker 2: actually how I like to live and how I like
Speaker 2: to teach. And at the start of the year, I
Speaker 2: sat down with my team and I just said, it's
Speaker 2: just not feeling aligned. Yes, I want to help, and
Speaker 2: yes there was this foundation of healthy eating and moving
Speaker 2: their body, but I just want to bring everything back
Speaker 2: to balance. And when I first started, it was all
Speaker 2: about clean eating. It was all about moving our bodies,
Speaker 2: having the fun in a group environment, I'd be supported
Speaker 2: and I got lost in this comparison and trying to
Speaker 2: fit everything in and keep up with this trend and
Speaker 2: that trend and that way to eat. And this year
Speaker 2: I just went scrap my old app. We completely put
Speaker 2: that to the size, started a whole new app that
Speaker 2: It's very very balanced, it's very simple. There's lots of variety,
Speaker 2: but it's very easy to use, and it's how I live,
Speaker 2: it's how I teach, it's how I am with my son.
Speaker 2: Like I bought it all back to what really does
Speaker 2: feel true to me, and I still have moments where
Speaker 2: I'll see someone else in doing that, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: we should I be teaching more about calorie counting a macro. No,
Speaker 2: I don't want to be focused on numbers. They want
Speaker 2: to teach that pool. There's be people that want that,
Speaker 2: they can go to them, but for me, that's not
Speaker 2: for me. So I catch myself. But it is hard
Speaker 2: because it's flashed in front of your eyes all the
Speaker 2: time and you want to be succeeding and doing this
Speaker 2: and that. But I just always bring it back to
Speaker 2: making sure I'm grounded and sticking true to what is
Speaker 2: a value to me and how I feel like I
Speaker 2: can show up to be the best person I can
Speaker 2: be for everyone that does want my help.
Speaker 1: I think extrapolating that for outside of the fitness industry
Speaker 1: and outside of the digital world as well, I think
Speaker 1: all of us kind of do go through a really
Speaker 1: intense comparison phase where we just mimic what everyone else
Speaker 1: is doing because we feel like that's what we were lacking,
Speaker 1: and we do get lost and suddenly, if you're pleasing everyone,
Speaker 1: you're not actually pleasing anyone because not everyone's the same.
Speaker 1: And then finally you have like this moment where you
Speaker 1: realize actually you've lost yourself entirely and you come back
Speaker 1: to like it's almost like a right of passage, like
Speaker 1: you have to kind of get lost in all of
Speaker 1: that to come back to what really matters.
Speaker 2: It's like when you hit rock bottom. The only way
Speaker 2: up where you've got us to go up. That's the
Speaker 2: beauty and isn't it.
Speaker 1: So the final section is Playta, where we do strip
Speaker 1: back all the layers that we have gone through. As
Speaker 1: she is a mom, Ash is a businesswoman, Ash as
Speaker 1: a trainer, like all the different us that you are,
Speaker 1: which is not to discount any of them, they all
Speaker 1: play such an important role but there has to be
Speaker 1: an ashy that isn't productive, that isn't on brand, that
Speaker 1: isn't even thinking about all of those things, And that's
Speaker 1: just playing. And when you love your job, it's like
Speaker 1: you don't ever feel like you need that. But I
Speaker 1: think that's maybe when you need it most, because you
Speaker 1: can't be fresh and creative when you're not just doing
Speaker 1: things just for the sake it's and giggles. So what
Speaker 1: do you do for play?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I do so much. I mean last week I
Speaker 2: had my first lesson flat boarding. Have you heard of that?
Speaker 2: It's like a surfboard that you like, it's got this
Speaker 2: machine underneath it lazy. Yeah, it goes above like a
Speaker 2: river or the beach whatever. I'm not in the waves yet.
Speaker 2: And it was actually quite a hard, hard sport to learn,
Speaker 2: but did that it was amazing. Last couple of weeks,
Speaker 2: I've bought a skateboard. I've been learning how to skate.
Speaker 1: I'm not very good, but isn't that the thing? I
Speaker 1: feel like your playta is usually something you're comfortable with
Speaker 1: being a beginner and you don't care about getting better at.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm quite an athlete, like I've always picked
Speaker 2: up sports quite easy, so it's definitely a challenge. And
Speaker 2: a little boys really into scootering at the moment, So
Speaker 2: we're going to the skate park and we practice scootering
Speaker 2: and skateboarding. So that's fun. But I think having a
Speaker 2: barb like he'sn't above is five anymore. Having a small
Speaker 2: human you really bring out that playful side in you.
Speaker 2: And I'm definitely more cautious, like I want to be
Speaker 2: in my kneepads on my skateboard now whereas when I
Speaker 2: was younger too. But yeah, having fun is so important,
Speaker 2: and you get older, I think we forget to have
Speaker 2: fun and I always want to keep that big kid
Speaker 2: alive inside me. Yeah, that's why I try to do
Speaker 2: new things and adventure out on the weekends and just yeah,
Speaker 2: always have fun, and I think it's so important. Otherwise you're
Speaker 2: just working to live, you know exactly.
Speaker 1: I always say you're not here to work and die,
Speaker 1: Like that is just not the point. I mean, you
Speaker 1: could spend your whole life doing that, but that's clearly
Speaker 1: you'd be missing out on the entirety of just like
Speaker 1: the joy and sees the ya. I actually got asked
Speaker 1: by my publisher whether I really was stuck on the
Speaker 1: word ea because they're like it's too childish, like it's
Speaker 1: really juvenile, and I was like, great, that's it exactly
Speaker 1: why I use it, because we lose that childlike sense
Speaker 1: of wonder and everything is too serious and it reminds
Speaker 1: me to just be playful and just look stupid and
Speaker 1: not care about it, like fall off a skateboard and
Speaker 1: like who cares? You know, we don't like just throw
Speaker 1: our bodies around like idiots anymore because we're so serious
Speaker 1: and we're so prittible.
Speaker 2: Worried about people sick, and to think or does it
Speaker 2: make us look not professional or not on brand? Yeah,
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. I agree with you got to keep
Speaker 2: that ya that play.
Speaker 1: Do you do any dumb things like just Netflix binges
Speaker 1: or like, oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my gosh, I love Netflix. I've gone through
Speaker 2: some series. We're actually watching Alia's at the Moment, which
Speaker 2: was filmed on Jennifer Oh fifteen years ago.
Speaker 1: That is a blast from the past, Oh.
Speaker 2: My god, because you know when you watch a series
Speaker 2: and then they've only got like three episodes and you
Speaker 2: have to wait for the next one. This is like
Speaker 2: seven seasons, so we are like immersed in alien's moments,
Speaker 2: So I love that switch off too. It makes me
Speaker 2: just forget about works, to get about stress, forget about
Speaker 2: everything else, and I'm just like immersed in this other world.
Speaker 2: It's just nice to relax totally.
Speaker 1: We've gone back to the start of Hawaii fi O
Speaker 1: because there are eleven seasons.
Speaker 2: Good one.
Speaker 1: It was like, I don't even care what the show
Speaker 1: is about. I just know there's eleven seasons, so I'm
Speaker 1: not going to run out really quickly.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's exactly what you were thinking. Love it.
Speaker 1: And second last question to finish out, what are three
Speaker 1: interesting things about you that don't normally come up in conversation.
Speaker 1: And I know this is hard because you do share
Speaker 1: a lot, So give us three things we wouldn't normally
Speaker 1: hear about you.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking your audience might not have even heard of
Speaker 2: who I am before, so they probably haven't heard this
Speaker 2: about me. But there's a couple. I am terrified of flying,
Speaker 2: like going on a plane, and if anyone wants to
Speaker 2: look at my social media, I travel at not since COVID,
Speaker 2: but before that, I travel a lot to work for
Speaker 2: pleasure interviews. I love traveling. I love traveling, but actually
Speaker 2: getting on the plane is really hard. I get massive anxiety.
Speaker 2: I shake. There's even I filmed here like a reality
Speaker 2: series for YouTube, and there's one clip where I'm in
Speaker 2: the back and you full sea. You go into my
Speaker 2: panic attack. It is really bad. I've gotten better over
Speaker 2: the years because I've learned ways to breathe and like distract.
Speaker 2: But that's huge. I'm absolutely terrified of flying. I would
Speaker 2: rather be thrown in a pool of sharks than go
Speaker 2: in a plane accident. Like wow.
Speaker 1: Also, you are far too humble. I feel like everyone
Speaker 1: in my audience has heard of you.
Speaker 2: But I don't know about that.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2: The funny thing is I hate I hate avocado. I
Speaker 2: feel like everyone loves avocado, and I hate avocado.
Speaker 1: Okay, I can't cope with that. You're in health and wellness, So.
Speaker 2: It's just the taste, the texture, the smell, the look
Speaker 2: of it. I'm like earth, that is just not a cute.
Speaker 2: Type of that's not cute. I really don't like it.
Speaker 2: Butt You'll love me because I put frozen avocado in
Speaker 2: my smoothies because of the benefits, and I can't taste
Speaker 2: it makes it nice and thick and creamy, but I
Speaker 2: just I hate it. It's just such a gross food.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it is the actual best food in there.
Speaker 1: It's a staple of everything. Like, how do you even
Speaker 1: be a health and wellness person?
Speaker 2: I know, I know, right. Everyone gets very shocked at that.
Speaker 2: And the last thing would be is I love, love,
Speaker 2: love tattoos. I think tattoos on men are just so sexy,
Speaker 2: and tattoos on women when they like tell a story,
Speaker 2: I think so cool. I have one, two, three, four, five,
Speaker 2: I have six tattoos. They're all in like places that
Speaker 2: are quite hidden, like on my wrists, in my toes,
Speaker 2: like my fingers, my angers. Yeah, little ones like you've got.
Speaker 2: I love tattoos. I just anyone with a tattoo, I'm like,
Speaker 2: so curious on what it is, and tell me the
Speaker 2: story behind it, the art of it and the feeling
Speaker 2: of getting them done. Like I love tattoos.
Speaker 1: Wow, would you go like a full sleep?
Speaker 2: I would have been myself. And I really wished my
Speaker 2: husband loved them. He's the opposite of me. Hates them,
Speaker 2: hates them, and I'm like, damn it, I find them
Speaker 2: so sexy. Like always pictured myself with a man with
Speaker 2: like a full sleeve. He hates them.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, so he doesn't even have one.
Speaker 2: Here's two my name and Taje's name. But purely I
Speaker 2: think because of a bit of pressure for me, I'm
Speaker 2: like wotooz. He hated it. He he hates tatoos, he
Speaker 2: hates getting them done. He doesn't like them at all.
Speaker 1: Wow, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: I wish he liked them and you got a full sleep,
Speaker 2: But it's not going to happen.
Speaker 1: You can maybe get, like when technology gets better, you
Speaker 1: can get one of those like printed ones that you
Speaker 1: can just have on for like a little while and
Speaker 1: just just enjoy wear this my last question, since I
Speaker 1: love quotes so much, what's your favorite quote?
Speaker 2: Oh? There's so many, and I love listening to your
Speaker 2: daily quotes that you put on Instagram stories. They're just
Speaker 2: so awesome. My favorite is you rows through what you
Speaker 2: go through. So I think everything that you were going through,
Speaker 2: you were going to grow through it. And that's once again,
Speaker 2: just find that lesson, find a gift, find that little
Speaker 2: pearl of wisdom that is gonna it's going to elevate
Speaker 2: you in whatever area of your life. Everything you're growing through,
Speaker 2: everything you're going through, you're going to grow through it,
Speaker 2: and that's just I think that's such a motivation every
Speaker 2: single day that no matter what life throws at me,
Speaker 2: I'm going to grow through it and come out the
Speaker 2: side more wise and more stronger, more lessons to teach.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I think that represents you so well.
Speaker 1: That's such a good one and you've left us with
Speaker 1: so many pearls of wisdom. Everyone, you have to get
Speaker 1: your hands on Ashy's incredible new book. It's a wonderful
Speaker 1: resource for growing through what you go through. You're such
Speaker 1: an inspiration, Ashy. Thank you so much for joining.
Speaker 2: Oh thank you for having me. I really hope everyone
Speaker 2: enjoyed it, and I always love talking to you, so
Speaker 2: thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: If any of you walk away each week with either
Speaker 1: a new perspective on life or a new perspective on
Speaker 1: our guest, I have more than done my job and
Speaker 1: I've walked away with both today, so I hope some
Speaker 1: of you did. As always, it absolutely makes our day
Speaker 1: to hear your takeaways or reflections from these chats, so
Speaker 1: please do share this episode, tagging at Ashy Bins and
Speaker 1: myself so we can reshare. And of course don't forget
Speaker 1: there are some amazing weekly giveaways now in the Yighborhood
Speaker 1: Facebook group two. I somehow always forget to remind you guys,
Speaker 1: but if you haven't actually hit the subscribe button or
Speaker 1: left a review, if you're enjoying the show, please do
Speaker 1: take a quick moment to do so now so we
Speaker 1: can keep growing the yighborhood as far and wide as possible.
Speaker 1: It means so much at this end to get your feedback.
Speaker 1: But of course I know it's so easy to forget.
Speaker 1: I do it all the time. So just a little
Speaker 1: gentle reminder if you can spare a second or two.
Speaker 1: We're on the home stretch now of a huge year,
Speaker 1: so I hope you're being kind to yourselves and seizing
Speaker 1: your yeay