1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Happiness can't be felt by the other people around you 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: who are envious. If you think that other people's envy 3 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: is going to build you up, it's not because you 4 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,719 Speaker 1: can't touch that. Like who says you have to write 5 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: a book every year, who says that you've got to 6 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:16,439 Speaker 1: say yes to this incredible opportunity that is going to 7 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: tire you out so much that your marriage suffers. That's 8 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 1: my goal when I get those incredible moments to actually 9 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 1: be able to feel them. 10 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 2: Welcome to the sees the Yay Podcast. Busy and happy 11 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 2: are not the same thing. We too rarely question what 12 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,600 Speaker 2: makes the heart seeing. We work, then we rest, but 13 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,919 Speaker 2: rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than 14 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 2: one way. So this is a platform to hear and 15 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 2: explore the stories of those who found lives. They adore, 16 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 2: the good, bad and ugly. The best and worst day 17 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 2: will bear all the facets of seizing your yay. I'm 18 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 2: Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer turned 19 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 2: entrepreneur who swapped the suits and heels to co found 20 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 2: matcha Maiden and matcham Milk Bark Cca is a series 21 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 2: of conversations on finding a life you love and exploring 22 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 2: the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment along the way. Yahborhood, 23 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 2: we are back with a guest episode for you, and 24 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 2: I'm thrilled to have one of Australia's most known and 25 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 2: loved voices on the show this week, the inimitable Jesse Stevens. 26 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 2: Many of you will probably recognize Jesse, or at least 27 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 2: recognize her voice as one of the hosts of the 28 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 2: chart topping podcast Mamma Mia Out Loud, among many other 29 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 2: shows in the prolific Mamma Mea network of which Jesse 30 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,399 Speaker 2: is also an executive editor and which we, you may 31 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 2: have noticed, are so excited to have joined recently in 32 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:45,400 Speaker 2: a brand new chapter for Cca. While Jesse is now 33 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 2: dominating the airwaves and has also authored two incredible books, 34 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 2: you may not know that she actually began as a 35 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 2: very junior Burger editorial assistant a decade ago at Mamma 36 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 2: Maya and worked her way up the ranks to become 37 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 2: one of the few people who can say that they've 38 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 2: been in the one workplace for ten years, an example 39 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 2: that you don't have to leave your job or leave 40 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 2: your workplace to grow and find new Yea's and one 41 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 2: of the coolest parts of this story. Jesse is an 42 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 2: executive editor at Mumma Mia alongside her twin sister, Claire Stevens, 43 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 2: another of Australia's most known and loved voices that you 44 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 2: will likely recognize. They both study different things in their 45 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 2: undergraduate but then went on to complete a master's of 46 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 2: research left academia, began as editorial assistants together at Mamma Maya, 47 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 2: and they have worked their way up in different but 48 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 2: parallel ways. And the two also have not just brothers, 49 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 2: twin brothers. That's two sets in one family. So it 50 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 2: was fascinating to learn about such a unique and special 51 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 2: facet to her path. 52 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:45,079 Speaker 1: Yea. 53 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 2: Jesse is also just a little bit ahead of me 54 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,640 Speaker 2: as a working mum and such a great source of inspiration, 55 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 2: having lent her wisdom on the Juggle on a chapter 56 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 2: of The Juggle, the book by my dear friend and 57 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 2: manager Genevieve Day, who you've heard from just a couple 58 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 2: of episodes ago in our Caesar Baby episode. Despite having 59 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 2: many mutual friends and working in some of the same circles, 60 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,399 Speaker 2: I'd actually never chatted to Jesse before, but you would 61 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 2: never know because she is such an incredible conversationalist, and 62 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 2: I hope that you guys enjoy this one as much 63 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 2: as I did. Jesse Stevens, Welcome to CZA. 64 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. I'm very excited. 65 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 2: I'm so excited that we made it through multiple reschedules 66 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 2: to sit down and record today, being in similar chapters 67 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 2: of juggling motherhood with work, and that you just completely 68 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 2: understood the logistical challenges of recording. But I'm also excited because, 69 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 2: of course, you were a voice that most of Australia 70 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 2: already knows and loves. Executive editor and host at Mama Mia, 71 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 2: which is a family CZA is so thrilled to have 72 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 2: recently joined. So absolutely delighted to have you today. 73 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 1: It's the relief of having when you have been unreliable 74 00:03:56,080 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 1: in terms of I have to reschedule because babysitting issue, work, whatever, 75 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: the relief of having someone else cancel the next one 76 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: is just so good. All my guilt evaporates and I'm like, yes, 77 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: I'm not the only one who stuffed up this scheduling, 78 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: so I quite like that. I feel like you genuinely 79 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: didn't judge me. 80 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 2: Oh, only because I knew I would also reschedule just 81 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 2: as many time. So I am very proud of us 82 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 2: for making it today. 83 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 1: Me too. It's a miracle. 84 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 2: Well for the very few people who don't already know, 85 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 2: you are the executive editor at Mama Mia, hosting Mama 86 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 2: Mia out Loud, canceled, and most recently the Baby Bubble, 87 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 2: as well as having hosted Hello Bump book Club and 88 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 2: Once upon a Time, much to my pleasure, True Crime Conversations. 89 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 1: Yes, I did that for the first probably two years 90 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:47,040 Speaker 1: I launched it, and I love true crime. I still 91 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 1: love true crime. But after doing it for a few years, 92 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,679 Speaker 1: you know, I did some fascinating interviews and I learned 93 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:59,720 Speaker 1: so much, but I felt like I was overstretched, and 94 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,239 Speaker 1: that when there's a project, or when there's a thing 95 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: that you really care about, like that podcast and giving 96 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: the audience quality, then the kindest thing I could do 97 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,720 Speaker 1: for them was to hand it over. And so I've 98 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: handed it over and to watch it just grow under 99 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,040 Speaker 1: hosts that could give it more than I could has 100 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 1: been such a joy. But like I learned so much 101 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: doing that project. 102 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,280 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm so obsessed with true crime, and 103 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:26,839 Speaker 2: I'd love that you've been able to dip your toe 104 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 2: in so many different things and podcast across many different 105 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 2: topics within the network during your time. But my favorite 106 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 2: thing really is that people walk into your life in 107 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:37,919 Speaker 2: the chapter you're in now, and it's so easy to 108 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 2: assume that, you know, it's such a prestigious role as 109 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,599 Speaker 2: executive editor, it's easy to assume that it was an 110 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 2: overnight success, that it happened, you know, in a really smooth, 111 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:50,479 Speaker 2: straightforward way, that you always knew you wanted to end 112 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:53,160 Speaker 2: up in the media, and it so rarely actually happens 113 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 2: that way. We get to hear you speak about so 114 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 2: many things that are really topical, but raally get to 115 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 2: hear about, you know, your childhood, or what your earliest 116 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 2: hopes and dreams were that you ended up studying degrees 117 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 2: that don't necessarily make sense for a career later on 118 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 2: in the media. So let's go back to your childhood, 119 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 2: those early days, your first part time job, you know, 120 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 2: fourteen and nine months, your school life. I read an 121 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 2: article you wrote recently about how people's U twelve results 122 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 2: don't necessarily correlate to later on, but you put other 123 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 2: peoples in and not your own. I researched and found out. 124 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 2: It was a ninety eight point five, so I obviously 125 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 2: started out very academically strong. So yeah, tell us about childhood. 126 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: It's funny that you say fourteen and nine months, because 127 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,919 Speaker 1: I think there are probably two types of teenagers, and 128 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: I was the fourteen and nine months teenager. Definitely wanted 129 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,479 Speaker 1: a job, definitely wanted some independence so that I could 130 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: buy my own clothes from souprey, and I worked at 131 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: a video shop and Boost Juice was the big was 132 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,919 Speaker 1: a big job, and I was never very good at 133 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: any of them because my I think I'm hard working, 134 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 1: but I think I'm a bit vague. And I remember 135 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: once at Boost, like leaving the till open. I was 136 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 1: meant to close that night, and I think I counted 137 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 1: the money, but I left the money in the till 138 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: and left it open. Don't tell Jeanine Alistair and the 139 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 1: person got there the next morning and like couldn't believe 140 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: that I'd done it. Look, no one stole it. But 141 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 1: I've just never been good at the basics. And even 142 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: when I started at my mayor a million years later, 143 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: Clare and I laughed that you know, you'd be asked 144 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: to go and get a handful of coffees and we'd 145 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: get all the orders wrong, like and that's just basic 146 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 1: one oh one attention to detail. There's a real vagueness 147 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: to my brain that I wish I could fix, and 148 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 1: I'm yet to be able to do it. But I 149 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: really enjoyed that independence, I suppose, And at school I 150 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: certainly wasn't, you know, the smartest in my class or 151 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: like I remember really loving English and history and all 152 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: the essay like subjects. And then it was year eleven 153 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: that I thought Claire and I both thought, what would 154 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 1: happen if we, you know, tried our hardest, like really 155 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: gave something one hundred percent. And maybe other kids have 156 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: that with sport or with art or with certain hobbies, 157 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,520 Speaker 1: like kids who get really good at an instrument. I 158 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: think it's so important for your self esteem not to 159 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: see if you come first or tenth or whatever, but like, 160 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: what am I capable of if I throw everything at 161 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:40,440 Speaker 1: this thing? And so Claire and I just got really 162 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: focused and worked hard in year eleven and twelve, and 163 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: more than anything, just loved it. We found the harder 164 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,839 Speaker 1: we worked, the more we enjoyed it. And you know, 165 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,559 Speaker 1: that year was brilliant. It was the first time I'd 166 00:08:55,559 --> 00:09:00,040 Speaker 1: ever felt I guess I felt smart and I I 167 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 1: felt like that could be one of my things. And 168 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: we went to a school that wasn't selective or you know, 169 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,559 Speaker 1: known for being academic or anything like that. And in 170 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 1: year twelve, after we did our HC and you know 171 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,439 Speaker 1: how all the special private schools do, like you get 172 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 1: an estimation of what you're going to get. So all 173 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: our friends across the river, they were like, I know 174 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to get above ninety five. I had no 175 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:29,960 Speaker 1: idea if I was going to get seventy or one hundred, like, no, 176 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 1: no sense of it. And then it was a few 177 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,840 Speaker 1: weeks before the results came out and I got a 178 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 1: call on my phone from the Department of Studies being like, 179 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,439 Speaker 1: you have come first in extension history in the state. 180 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:46,439 Speaker 1: I didn't know there were state rankings. I could not 181 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 1: believe it. And the extension history class we did wasn't 182 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: a real class. It was six people that met at 183 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 1: seven o'clock in the morning, and you know, it was 184 00:09:56,559 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 1: quite self guided. They almost didn't offer it. And so 185 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: I came first in the state and Claire came fifth, and. 186 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 2: Just to be clear to everybody, yeah. 187 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: So it was like Claire came fifth in the state 188 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 1: and still was like, I'm the luger in this family. 189 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: But it was just the weirdest end to the year, 190 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,559 Speaker 1: and there was all this fuss, and Claire and I 191 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,839 Speaker 1: were on the front page of the paper because every 192 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,680 Speaker 1: year they love a twin story because it's always a 193 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:26,079 Speaker 1: bit weird, the twins that accidentally get the same mark 194 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 1: or something. And that was a high. But then, like 195 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,719 Speaker 1: a lot of kids who feel like they succeeded in 196 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: year twelve, it was a rude shock. The next five 197 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 1: or so years were really really hard, and of course 198 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: I think they were actually, you know, more important and 199 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,320 Speaker 1: more character forming than anything before it. 200 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 2: And I love the article that you wrote about that 201 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 2: sort of intensity of how we approach our year twelve 202 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,560 Speaker 2: results at the time, and I think it's only getting 203 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 2: more and more intense for young people each year, and 204 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 2: the pressure that comes with a trying to do the 205 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 2: best that you can, but then when you do get 206 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 2: your score, trying to do you know, as much as 207 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:11,440 Speaker 2: you can with that score, and there's like a hierarchy 208 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 2: of jobs, and there's these perceptions of success, and then 209 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,360 Speaker 2: there's you know, there's also the siloing of well, I 210 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 2: did humanities, so I'm not, you know, a science person, 211 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 2: so I could never be a scientist if I didn't 212 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 2: want to. And you know, coming from sort of a 213 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 2: historical background, you don't automatically think that that translates to journalism, media, podcasting, 214 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:35,199 Speaker 2: public speaking. You know, it's just so interesting that ultimately 215 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,320 Speaker 2: it doesn't really matter, just at the time you don't 216 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,200 Speaker 2: really know that. So that's why I love hashing through 217 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 2: like what your relationship was to your concept of success 218 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,960 Speaker 2: and your goals kind of at the time, but before 219 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 2: we kind of trace through what you actually ended up 220 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 2: doing with such an incredible academic performance. The twin thing, 221 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 2: so the fact that they the fact that you've already 222 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 2: said Claire and I quite a few times, and that 223 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 2: obviously other people externally are always making a big deal 224 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 2: about it from your perspective, and this is I probably 225 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 2: I think you probably have been asked about this more 226 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 2: than everything else. But what was it like growing up 227 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 2: as a twin? And are your brothers also twins? 228 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, so we've got two sets of twins in our family. 229 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 1: And in that way, like people who weren't twins were weird, 230 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 1: like in our sense, not only was it. I don't 231 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,840 Speaker 1: know what it's like to not be a twin, but 232 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 1: I don't know what it's like to grow up with 233 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,080 Speaker 1: anyone who isn't a twin, because in our family Mum 234 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 1: and Dad were the odd ones out because they didn't 235 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: have a twin, losers, well such losers. So to have 236 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: this built in best friend. And I don't think all 237 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,679 Speaker 1: twins are like this, but for both sets of us. 238 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,440 Speaker 1: And you know, there's also an innate thing of being 239 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,079 Speaker 1: very shy. I see it in my daughter now, there's 240 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:54,680 Speaker 1: a shyness, and I think that it can make you 241 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: socially maybe a little bit lazy. And you know, whether 242 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: it's your first day kindergarten or your first day of 243 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: year seven, the feeling that everyone else had of taking 244 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 1: a deep breath and going, I've got to put myself 245 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,319 Speaker 1: out there. I've got to meet people. And those really 246 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:15,439 Speaker 1: important social skills where you say you know, hi, I'm Sarah. 247 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:21,800 Speaker 1: I didn't necessarily have to develop those until maybe earlier adulthood, 248 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 1: where I was known as an individual. But to walk 249 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: into every room in your whole life besides someone, it's 250 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: such a safety blanket, I think, and a privilege, and 251 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 1: in some ways. You know, in year seven and eight, 252 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,840 Speaker 1: we got quite badly bullied by a few girls, and 253 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:43,679 Speaker 1: I think that there was a I look back, maybe 254 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 1: there's something a bit intimidating about twins because they felt 255 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:52,080 Speaker 1: like the best friend thing was built in and it 256 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: couldn't be infiltrated. So there's this thing with young girls 257 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,719 Speaker 1: where they want their person, like there's this obsession with 258 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,319 Speaker 1: best friends and they want their one per and when 259 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 1: it couldn't be clear or I, it was quite easy 260 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: to push us out. And so those years were really 261 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 1: really hard, you know. I remember once we went to 262 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,680 Speaker 1: the movies with a bunch of friends and we're just 263 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 1: stop to be invited because there'd been all this stuff 264 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,080 Speaker 1: going on. And we got there and they ran away 265 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: and hid, like and they hid and they played this 266 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 1: practical joke, and so we were at this shopping center like, oh, 267 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 1: they've they hid from us, And we didn't have phones, 268 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: so we had to call mom on a public phone 269 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 1: and be like can you come pick us up? Our 270 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 1: friends hid from us? 271 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 2: Oh yess. 272 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 1: And then later we were like, oh, that was really 273 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 1: mean how you hid from us, And they were like 274 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: it was a joke. You can't take a joke. 275 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 2: So it's not awful, aren't they awful? 276 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,240 Speaker 1: They're so so awful, And it's like, oh, I just 277 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 1: think about Learner and hitting those those years like it, 278 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: you know, years on, there's like an impact. I still 279 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 1: meet certain peaceeople who remind me of this girl in 280 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 1: year eight, and like this kind of alarm goes off 281 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: in my head. But I mostly just feel so lucky 282 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,760 Speaker 1: that I've had someone to debrief on every single day 283 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,880 Speaker 1: of my life with no judgment and no fear that 284 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: she's going to go anywhere. 285 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that is the most beautiful description I've 286 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 2: ever heard of twinship, because I feel like, I mean, 287 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 2: it's so fascinating to anyone who's not a twin. And 288 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 2: I love that you said it was so normalized for you. 289 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 2: And I think that's the same with any defining characteristic 290 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 2: of your childhood, is that in all the ways it's 291 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,480 Speaker 2: different to everyone else. You don't know that, and like 292 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 2: we don't become aware of that until much later, and 293 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 2: that's when all the like everything starts to kind of 294 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 2: go downhill, once we start the comparison and all that stuff. 295 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 2: I love that you had, firstly, no idea that anyone 296 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 2: else was different, but that it has been so formative 297 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 2: and positive in that way, Like it's so sweet because 298 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 2: I feel like sometimes the dialogue is like the first 299 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 2: question so many people ask is like have you heard 300 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,520 Speaker 2: a threesome? Do your boyfriend like? And it's like, no, 301 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 2: I want to know what it was actually like, like, yeah, 302 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 2: did you guys get you know, frustrated if people would 303 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 2: confuse you, like in a sense that fraternal twins don't 304 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 2: get how did it change your identity forming at that age? 305 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 2: And I love that you are actually close because I 306 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,280 Speaker 2: imagine like at times it could have gone the other way. 307 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. I remember in primary school people used to call 308 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: us the twins or twinies and we hated it, like 309 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: we just felt like we weren't even afforded our own names. 310 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 1: And it's funny because in adulthood we've kind of re 311 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 1: embraced that and been like, oh, that's fine, we are 312 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 1: the twins, maybe because we feel more secure in our 313 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:47,200 Speaker 1: own identities. But there were moments then, I suppose, and 314 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:52,120 Speaker 1: maybe maybe same with my brothers, where we felt you 315 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 1: feel like a bit of a freak show in that way, 316 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,840 Speaker 1: or that people are looking at you and thinking you're 317 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: a bit weird and I didn't love that. And weirdly, 318 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 1: we didn't have any other twins in our year, ever, 319 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,960 Speaker 1: whereas my brother's had three sets of twins, and I 320 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 1: think it's probably more common now, but certainly an adulthood, 321 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 1: I've seen what a gift it is as well. And 322 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 1: having Claire now has her baby is nearly eleven months old, 323 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: so to have them so close is I didn't realize 324 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,000 Speaker 1: when we will pregnant what that would mean. 325 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:29,000 Speaker 2: Oh, that's so special, so special, And I'm an awe 326 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 2: of you as well, because I think that it's already 327 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,359 Speaker 2: such a difficult, like just that chunk of your life, 328 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,240 Speaker 2: those formative years is so hard to figure out who 329 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:42,440 Speaker 2: you are, and there's so much pressure and so many 330 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 2: social norms and expectations that kind of start to creep in. 331 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,359 Speaker 2: And we talk so much about like the comparison trap, 332 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 2: but for you guys there, and I'm always like, well, 333 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,159 Speaker 2: it doesn't really matter because there's no parallel universe. You 334 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 2: can't compare to the you if you would have done 335 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 2: something else Whereas you guys, it's like there's this living 336 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 2: even though you're separate people in other people's estimation it's like, well, 337 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 2: you know, one of them science he and one of 338 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,359 Speaker 2: them's arety, Like, you know, there is this kind of 339 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 2: parallel comparison that I can imagine would be kind of 340 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,640 Speaker 2: difficult for people to be like, well, she chose this 341 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 2: and she chose this, But it's beautiful that you ended 342 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 2: up both doing the same masters and somehow both ending 343 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:21,600 Speaker 2: up in the same job and workplace for the same 344 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 2: nearly ten year period, which is incredible, an incredible testament 345 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:25,919 Speaker 2: to you both. 346 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 1: Yes, and we actually studied different things. Claire went on 347 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:34,119 Speaker 1: and did I saw psychology and could have gone on 348 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: and become a psychologist, like I think that was something 349 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 1: she was thinking about for a while. And then I 350 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,719 Speaker 1: did a master's in history and gender studies, and then 351 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 1: we started writing this blog together, which we were just 352 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:51,160 Speaker 1: having lots of fun doing in twenty twelve, and after 353 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 1: a few years of doing that, Maya Friedman who owns 354 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 1: One Maya came across it and reached out to us, 355 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: and I guess that was the dream. But we've never 356 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 1: really looked forward, Like never, when we started UNI, it 357 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 1: was never like I want to do this, and then 358 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,719 Speaker 1: when we started at my Mayor, it was never like 359 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: I want to do this. It was very much like 360 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: what do I enjoy doing in this moment. I think 361 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:18,879 Speaker 1: I'm still a bit like that, and there's definitely no 362 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 1: five to ten, fifteen year plan, but we've definitely shown 363 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 1: each other what's possible in different arenas. So I think 364 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 1: the comparison thing probably has been hard at times where 365 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,399 Speaker 1: one of us, you know, has had a moment of 366 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,359 Speaker 1: success and the other has felt a little bit left out. 367 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 1: But Claire recently submitted her first manuscript for her first book, 368 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 1: and I probably I'm not meant to say this, but 369 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: screw it or say it. The acknowledgment at the front 370 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 1: is just like to Jesse for showing me I could, 371 00:19:54,240 --> 00:20:00,160 Speaker 1: which was so touching because I didn't realize that by 372 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: sitting down and going I'm going to write a book, 373 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,400 Speaker 1: I taught clear that it was possible. Because of course 374 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,119 Speaker 1: there are other women who have done that. For me, 375 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,119 Speaker 1: I would say that watching Holly my co host Don 376 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,359 Speaker 1: mummeir out loud, showed me I could do it. So 377 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:18,120 Speaker 1: I love that idea that it's like you're just providing 378 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,360 Speaker 1: a bit of a blueprint of how such a big 379 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,560 Speaker 1: project can be done. 380 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 2: And I think That's why I love this podcast so much, 381 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 2: is because every different pathway and story that I have 382 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,280 Speaker 2: the privilege to tell, and I am always trying to 383 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 2: make sure they are as different from each other as possible. 384 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,240 Speaker 2: I hope that is one listener's blueprint for them believing 385 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,320 Speaker 2: they could do that, because it's just a visibility thing 386 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,400 Speaker 2: most of the time that you need to believe someone 387 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,640 Speaker 2: else has done it. And I think there is still 388 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 2: this romance around when I was five, I wanted to 389 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,680 Speaker 2: go to space, and this was the astronaut that we 390 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,359 Speaker 2: had on a couple of weeks ago. She wanted to 391 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 2: go to space from her early early childhood and she 392 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 2: spent her whole life positioning herself to be selected, and 393 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 2: she became an astronaut and she is now Australia's first astronaut. 394 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:12,119 Speaker 2: That is astronomically astronomically rare, so rare, and so I 395 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,399 Speaker 2: love that you haven't always had that plan. You haven't 396 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,760 Speaker 2: needed I think the dots connect anyway, but you haven't 397 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,399 Speaker 2: needed to know that necessarily, as you've put one foot 398 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 2: in front of the. 399 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: Other exactly and sort of going following your nose in 400 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,879 Speaker 1: terms of what interests me and what brings me joy 401 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: and the other stuff will follow. And I've always thought 402 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 1: as well that and I think it's similar with the 403 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: astronaut aspiration. It's like you can want something and dream 404 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:47,479 Speaker 1: of something, you don't have to believe you can do 405 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,400 Speaker 1: it yet, Like that's okay. I think that we've got 406 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 1: this thing of like in order to actually do the thing, 407 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,360 Speaker 1: we think we've got to mentally believe in ourselves. And 408 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 1: I think that's a a lie. It's like when I 409 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,960 Speaker 1: started writing a book, no part of me believed I 410 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,920 Speaker 1: would finish a book. Yeah, I just prove to myself. 411 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,400 Speaker 1: The belief comes after you do the thing, not before it. 412 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 1: And so like I think we can get focused on 413 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:18,639 Speaker 1: kind of eliminating all the self doubt cognitively and it's like, 414 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:23,320 Speaker 1: just do the thing just like whatever it is. Don't 415 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: think you've got to get into the right head space. 416 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 1: Same with a podcast, Like if you'd said to you 417 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 1: years ago, oh, you're going to make this many episodes 418 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,479 Speaker 1: of a podcast, you'd be like, I can't do that. 419 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 1: I don't have the skills or whatever. But then you 420 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,640 Speaker 1: just develop the skills and you look back and that's 421 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,760 Speaker 1: where the self esteem actually comes from. 422 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,880 Speaker 2: I love that. I often refer to the quote even 423 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:45,760 Speaker 2: in my own brain when I like, I'm such a 424 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 2: we become a product of our generation, which is instragratuity. 425 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 2: And it's like, I have this dream. I want the 426 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 2: dream tomorrow, like by nine am, like or before close 427 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 2: a business like at the latest. You know I won't 428 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,920 Speaker 2: I won't wait years for my dream to come true. 429 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 2: We want everything now, And yeah, I have to remind 430 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,359 Speaker 2: myself like you don't have to see the whole staircase 431 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:05,560 Speaker 2: to take the first step. You don't need to see 432 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 2: the end of the story. You just need to start it. 433 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,399 Speaker 2: And the naivety actually often works in your favor because 434 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 2: if you knew how hard it would be the end like, 435 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 2: you wouldn't do it. So it's a good thing that 436 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,480 Speaker 2: we all have to start somewhere exactly. This is my 437 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 2: favorite part of your story that firstly, you didn't necessarily 438 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 2: study and get qualified in the thing that you ended 439 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,639 Speaker 2: up doing. But secondly, it's very very rare in this 440 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,679 Speaker 2: day and age to find anyone who has worked in 441 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 2: the same workplace for nearly ten years. That's incredibly unusual. 442 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,959 Speaker 2: But also that you are now an executive editor in 443 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 2: the workplace where you began. And I loved this description 444 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 2: of your first job as an editorial assistant, and the 445 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 2: job description was loading posts. I loaded posts. I was like, 446 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 2: if there's ever been an example of like started from 447 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 2: the bottom. 448 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 1: Now I'm here. 449 00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,080 Speaker 2: I was loading posts. Now I'm an executive editor. I 450 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,159 Speaker 2: hadn't climb the ladder. 451 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 1: Oh yeah. And I started by like there would be 452 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:10,119 Speaker 1: submissions sent to the inbox, and then I wasn't picking 453 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,240 Speaker 1: the submissions. I was then sent them by an editor 454 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 1: being like, can you load this into the back end. 455 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,959 Speaker 1: So it was really was putting in images and coming 456 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 1: trying with a headline and SEO and all of that 457 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: kind of that kind of stuff. And then I think 458 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 1: they actually didn't have that job for a period. So 459 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:29,920 Speaker 1: there was another job which was basically like filing videos. 460 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 1: I would go into the back and every video that 461 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 1: had been done, it was like tag it with relevant terms, 462 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:36,879 Speaker 1: and I would sit there and tag it and I 463 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,440 Speaker 1: was like, I just like being in this office. And 464 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 1: sometimes I would load a posts and I would think, 465 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 1: I think I can write something better than this, Like 466 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 1: I really I don't think much of myself, but like 467 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 1: I can do better than this, and so Claire and 468 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: I would stay back and write our own stuff, and 469 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,480 Speaker 1: some of it got up and some of it absolutely didn't. 470 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,639 Speaker 1: And we didn't even have the skills to write a 471 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,439 Speaker 1: news story. I had no idea the structure of a 472 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:09,560 Speaker 1: news I wouldn't know what the first sentence should be. Nothing. 473 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,040 Speaker 1: I knew how to write nessa. I didn't know how 474 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 1: to write for the internet. And it was only the 475 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 1: generosity of other people in the office who were very 476 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 1: busy and shouldn't have given us the time because that 477 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 1: was not part of their job to sit down and go, 478 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,639 Speaker 1: this is how you do it, give us a like 479 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:32,600 Speaker 1: pretty stern feedback about what was and wasn't working, and 480 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,680 Speaker 1: we took that on and learn. I don't even I 481 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,919 Speaker 1: wouldn't even say I was a particularly quick learner with 482 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 1: that stuff, but I was definitely interested and determined. But 483 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 1: it took like at least a year or two before 484 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: I was writing for the site. And then an opportunity 485 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,159 Speaker 1: came up on mummeir out Loud. One of the hosts left, 486 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,879 Speaker 1: and I think they wanted a younger voice, so they 487 00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 1: gave me an opportunity. I was appalling to talk about 488 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 1: Chloe Kardashian story maybe, and I couldn't tell a story 489 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 1: like I had no idea how to explain how this 490 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:13,400 Speaker 1: thing happened because I'd never done it before. But for 491 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 1: some reason, they gave me another go. And I was 492 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,280 Speaker 1: so nervous and so over prepared and like so trying 493 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,800 Speaker 1: to prove how smart I was, and I would just 494 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,840 Speaker 1: you know, they eventually gave me another go, another go, 495 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:32,200 Speaker 1: and I got the gig and from there it's been 496 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,200 Speaker 1: you know, I think I was maybe weekend editor for 497 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 1: a while, assistant head of content, and now executive editor. 498 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 1: Means that I can kind of operate a little bit 499 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,240 Speaker 1: of as an island and do the projects and really 500 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 1: own the projects that I love, which at the moment 501 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,600 Speaker 1: is podcasting. I just love it. 502 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:55,199 Speaker 2: Well, you are extraordinary at it, which is amazing. But 503 00:26:55,280 --> 00:27:00,199 Speaker 2: I bet that telling twenty fifteen Jesse, who was you know, 504 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 2: loading posts, that this is where you'd end up. There's 505 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,119 Speaker 2: just no way that you could possibly conceive of being 506 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,879 Speaker 2: like right at the top of this business where you 507 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,159 Speaker 2: started sort of as such a junior. But before we 508 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 2: move on to sort of how you can position yourself 509 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,359 Speaker 2: in a business and have that faith to keep trying 510 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,159 Speaker 2: even if you don't feel that you're very good at 511 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 2: something at the beginning you mentioned just then proving that 512 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,640 Speaker 2: you are really smart. And I think a lot of 513 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:32,680 Speaker 2: where people go maybe on tangents or diversions or have 514 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,239 Speaker 2: not misguided but have chapters that kind of don't really 515 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 2: make sense for them, is where they do fall into 516 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 2: trying to prove things to other people or making decisions 517 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 2: from ego rather than as you mentioned, just like what 518 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 2: makes me happy, what's joyful? And I think that is 519 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,720 Speaker 2: trying to prove that you're smart, or getting a really 520 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,000 Speaker 2: good enderscore and feeling like you have to use every 521 00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:54,600 Speaker 2: point on the degree that you choose, and then you 522 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,879 Speaker 2: know you do. You have a bachelor's degree in modern 523 00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,439 Speaker 2: history and gender studies and then a master's degree of research, 524 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:04,119 Speaker 2: which is an incredible, like not overqualification for what you do, 525 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 2: but it's not necessarily correlating. Yeah, did you ever feel like, oh, 526 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 2: I'm walking away from this kind of very academic investment 527 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,720 Speaker 2: of time, Like how how did you reconcile that? 528 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:20,639 Speaker 1: Definitely, and that's a pool like that research and feeling 529 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,679 Speaker 1: like I existed in this certain environment there was actually 530 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,919 Speaker 1: definitely and I still sense it from the environment. I 531 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: came from a little bit of eyebrow raising. 532 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, yeah, a bit of. 533 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:37,639 Speaker 1: Like seeing it as a demotion or like you've sold 534 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: out because and this is actually why I found academia flawed, 535 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 1: which everyone I know who works in academia agrees with me, 536 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:53,320 Speaker 1: which is that it is very small, very insular. You 537 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:57,200 Speaker 1: have the most exciting and important research and papers being 538 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 1: published that are so inexc to anyone outside of the academy, 539 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 1: and it is an incredible shame because it's really important stuff, 540 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:11,280 Speaker 1: and there's not enough investment in communicating, Like you can 541 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,440 Speaker 1: do the best research in the world, but if you're 542 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 1: not able to communicate it to a lot of people, 543 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 1: then did it ever really get written? And that's what 544 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,800 Speaker 1: I was frustrated by, is that I would write this 545 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:26,120 Speaker 1: twenty thousand word thesis and I think two people read it. 546 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 1: And so then when you get on the internet and 547 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 1: you can write in an hour an article that a 548 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 1: quarter of a million people read, there is something very 549 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:40,240 Speaker 1: addictive about that. It's like this this sugar rush, and 550 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: in a way you can get addicted to that and 551 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 1: see it as more worthwhile, which I don't necessarily think 552 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 1: it is, and I think there's dangers in that. But 553 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,560 Speaker 1: I also learned with the you know, with thinking you 554 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 1: need to use everything you know, every mark that you 555 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,200 Speaker 1: got or every degree you have. It's like, every time 556 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 1: there's an achievement, there's this thing that we do where 557 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:09,640 Speaker 1: it's like, what's next, what's next, What's next? And the 558 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:13,760 Speaker 1: pressure and the suffocation of that, and whether it's that 559 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 1: you've just done really well in your HC or you've 560 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 1: just had a professional moment. Often those moments are the 561 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,479 Speaker 1: scariest because everyone looks at you and they're like, how 562 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,680 Speaker 1: are you going to back this up? And it's like, 563 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 1: oh shit, it's never enough, Like I'm never finished. And 564 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,239 Speaker 1: I think I've learned to kind of let go of 565 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:36,640 Speaker 1: that a little bit now and go, I'm going to 566 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,760 Speaker 1: consolidate some of the projects I'm already on and go 567 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 1: and do the best job at this podcast that I can. 568 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,560 Speaker 1: But I think that pressure is a real shame because 569 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,920 Speaker 1: you never get to actually celebrate some of those wins. 570 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, totally. It's just the pace of everything is 571 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,560 Speaker 2: so fast as well that you feel like you'll fall 572 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,760 Speaker 2: out of relevance if you pause for like two seconds 573 00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,760 Speaker 2: to celebrate the thing that you're actually hard to achieve. 574 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,640 Speaker 2: It's interesting that you did feel a bit of a 575 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,440 Speaker 2: raised eyebrow kind of situation because I found that when 576 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:10,480 Speaker 2: I left law and started business, but that was very 577 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 2: heavily eCOM based that it was sort of like, Oh, 578 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 2: what's that cute little thing you're doing on the internet, 579 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 2: like social media, and it was it was definitely until 580 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,240 Speaker 2: it started making money and then kind of getting in 581 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 2: the AFR and stuff like that. It was definitely this little, funny, 582 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,480 Speaker 2: cute little side thing that I was doing. And even 583 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,720 Speaker 2: still though I noticed that, and I've admitted this only 584 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,560 Speaker 2: recently because I only realized recently, but I've said it 585 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,120 Speaker 2: in a few episodes that I still can't drop the 586 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 2: lawyer turned entrepreneur from my title in my mind because 587 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,760 Speaker 2: I'm like, I just need you to know that I 588 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 2: did do that thing. Yeah, and I do have that 589 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 2: side of my personality and I don't do it anymore. 590 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:51,440 Speaker 2: But and I don't think it was a waste of time, 591 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,440 Speaker 2: but it's just there. It's just still part of everything, 592 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 2: you know, And it's interesting, I. 593 00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:03,520 Speaker 1: Think, yeah, it's I think as women in any sort 594 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:07,000 Speaker 1: of media, people are looking for ways to dismiss you 595 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,600 Speaker 1: and call you an idiot, especially if you do anything 596 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:15,880 Speaker 1: on social media. It's like you are vacuous, you are dumb, 597 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 1: you are a sellout. So we feel this need to 598 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:25,520 Speaker 1: like legitimize that, justify that there's actually skill in it 599 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 1: and that you kind of even building a platform. It's like, 600 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,600 Speaker 1: it's taken a really really long time to do pretty 601 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 1: much everything in my career, and I I don't know 602 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: if I feel envy, but there are some people who, like, 603 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,720 Speaker 1: you know, do have this, whether it's a breakout book 604 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,959 Speaker 1: or whether it's something go viral and they explode. I 605 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,800 Speaker 1: certainly haven't had that experience. It's been like a really 606 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:51,640 Speaker 1: slow growth of doing you know, the podcast for a 607 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:54,400 Speaker 1: lot of years or whatever. And so I do kind 608 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:59,400 Speaker 1: of feel like, yeah, maybe I've got to justify why 609 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 1: I have a right to say anything like because and 610 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:09,280 Speaker 1: I do actually feel that that's part of my identity 611 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,200 Speaker 1: and that we live in a world that is trying 612 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:18,320 Speaker 1: to deny research and facts and objectivity, which I believe 613 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 1: very very strongly in and I think it's never been 614 00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:26,440 Speaker 1: more important to argue with data and research. But yeah, 615 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:32,400 Speaker 1: I certainly feel like you can be very dismissed if 616 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 1: you're a woman with any kind of profile. 617 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:38,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's interesting the subtlety how long it took 618 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,760 Speaker 2: me to realize that's what I was doing as well. 619 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,680 Speaker 2: I just thought it was funny, and now I'm like, oh, 620 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,640 Speaker 2: there's some weird psychology going on. I can speak declare 621 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 2: about that totally. But it's also I think that's another 622 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,160 Speaker 2: reason why I kind of labor over these earlier chapters 623 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,000 Speaker 2: of people's lives, because they don't get as much airtime 624 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 2: because it's not necessarily what you do right now, but 625 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,560 Speaker 2: it is to remind everyone that you did labor over 626 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 2: all of the chapters that you've been in to get 627 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,360 Speaker 2: to the position that you're in now. You didn't just 628 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,759 Speaker 2: walk into the host role of one of the bigger 629 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,440 Speaker 2: shows in Australia and know what to do, Like I 630 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,080 Speaker 2: was going back, and your first internship in media was 631 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,360 Speaker 2: like MTV in twenty eleven, and then you've done short 632 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,160 Speaker 2: courses to upskill. So it's and like you said, when 633 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,799 Speaker 2: you first began, you were good at podcasting, And I 634 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,120 Speaker 2: don't think people believe that they can upskill in a 635 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 2: totally new area. I think they think I've got to 636 00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 2: be good at X or, like I've mentioned earlier, the 637 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,479 Speaker 2: siloing thing, it's like, I'm not academic, so I can't 638 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,480 Speaker 2: do this, Or I'm not creative so I can't do this. 639 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,680 Speaker 2: It's like, or you could just find really good mentors 640 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:46,880 Speaker 2: and do some short courses and try and see. And 641 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,640 Speaker 2: I feel like you've done that. You've added so many 642 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,160 Speaker 2: strings to your bowl along the way to books, writing 643 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:56,360 Speaker 2: and producing a TV show. Like it's been this beautiful 644 00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:00,359 Speaker 2: progression of every next level has been a different set 645 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:00,920 Speaker 2: of skills. 646 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:04,479 Speaker 1: And in that way, I think it's the only thing 647 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,640 Speaker 1: I think I've done other than And I know it's 648 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 1: very unpopular to say luck, but I do think that 649 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,720 Speaker 1: luck plays a part. Is that I have said yes. 650 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 1: I have to my own detriment. I have said yes 651 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:19,800 Speaker 1: when I probably should have said no. But if someone said, hey, 652 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,279 Speaker 1: do you want to be a weekend writer and that 653 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,800 Speaker 1: means that you work Saturdays and Sundays, I said yes. 654 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:30,359 Speaker 1: When someone said can you work Christmas Day? I said yes. 655 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,759 Speaker 1: I wouldn't say yes now because I think that that 656 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,719 Speaker 1: has shifted. I think I've earned the right to say no. 657 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,879 Speaker 1: But I do not think I would have had any 658 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:45,680 Speaker 1: of those things, even like the TV or the You 659 00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 1: might get the opportunity to go into a TV spot 660 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 1: and it's not paid and it's at seven o'clock in 661 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,719 Speaker 1: the morning and it's going to take work. But I 662 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,279 Speaker 1: said yes because it was something I wanted to get 663 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 1: good at. And I think when you say no to things, 664 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,040 Speaker 1: that's a cost, as long as you know what that 665 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:06,880 Speaker 1: cost is, like own the no. But I definitely feel 666 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,839 Speaker 1: like being open to a lot of those things has 667 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:15,080 Speaker 1: helped take me in a very strange direction. And we 668 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,319 Speaker 1: talk at work about a ladder and a lattice, like 669 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 1: a ladder is just up. And I was on that 670 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,120 Speaker 1: trajectory for a little bit in terms of, oh, will 671 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,360 Speaker 1: you be the head of content or the editor or whatever, 672 00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:29,439 Speaker 1: and I realized I didn't want to do that, and 673 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,680 Speaker 1: so I sidestepped and went, Okay, rather than that, I'm 674 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,520 Speaker 1: going to go and do some TV writing and I'm 675 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,200 Speaker 1: going to write a book and I'm going to do 676 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 1: some TV spots or whatever. And that made me feel satisfied. 677 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,840 Speaker 1: Rather than being the big boss, I have no desire 678 00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 1: to be anyone's boss. Yeah. 679 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 2: Wow, Okay, So this is one of my favorite realizations 680 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,200 Speaker 2: in the kind of matrix of seizing anyone's Yeah, and 681 00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,680 Speaker 2: that is that we spend so much of our journey 682 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,640 Speaker 2: thinking that bigger and further upwards is better, just necessarily, 683 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:07,840 Speaker 2: like without any other considerations. And same with the hierarchy 684 00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,880 Speaker 2: of jobs. We think that quitting corporate and working for 685 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 2: yourself is better, Like that's because it's romanticized, and or 686 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:18,080 Speaker 2: being a CEO is better. And like, what I think 687 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,600 Speaker 2: people don't realize is that we are not all built 688 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,319 Speaker 2: the same. The fabric of what lights you up but 689 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,560 Speaker 2: also makes you desperately unhappy, or what is your fear 690 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,600 Speaker 2: versus what is your passion? It looks different for everyone else. 691 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:31,759 Speaker 2: So we can't all be CEOs and enjoy it. We 692 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,799 Speaker 2: can't all be business owners as enjoy it. And it's 693 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 2: actually quite normal to think I don't want to be 694 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,600 Speaker 2: my boss or I don't like it's the most empowering 695 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,319 Speaker 2: thing ever, maybe for some people is to say I 696 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,000 Speaker 2: just don't need to progress. I'm happy here, And like, 697 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:49,239 Speaker 2: I don't think we allow people to have that realization. 698 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,960 Speaker 1: No, I was reading maybe it's Atomic Habits. It's some 699 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,480 Speaker 1: book that I was reading a little while ago that 700 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:59,279 Speaker 1: said the first thing you should choose rather than like 701 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,000 Speaker 1: how much money I want to make or what job 702 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:02,720 Speaker 1: do I want to do? Or do I want the promotion? 703 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,480 Speaker 1: Is like what do you want your day to look like? 704 00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,440 Speaker 1: And then what do you want your week to look like? 705 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,560 Speaker 1: And then work backwards from there, because I do not 706 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,520 Speaker 1: want my day to look like meetings. I don't want 707 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:19,040 Speaker 1: my day to look like I'm really bad at any 708 00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:22,080 Speaker 1: sort of confrontation, Like if I was managing someone and 709 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,160 Speaker 1: there was an issue with performance, I just can't. It's 710 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,480 Speaker 1: just not worth how much anxiety it gives me to 711 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,839 Speaker 1: give that feedback. I don't want to be up at 712 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:36,480 Speaker 1: six and working late, like that's not me, And that's 713 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,160 Speaker 1: been actually more important since I've had a baby to 714 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,279 Speaker 1: go What exactly do you want your days to look like? 715 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:48,360 Speaker 1: When do you feel most connected to Luna? Like there's 716 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,399 Speaker 1: a threshold at which you lean into work so much 717 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,920 Speaker 1: that you feel disconnected and you're just a nightmare for 718 00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:58,880 Speaker 1: you know everyone around you, and you know the money 719 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,719 Speaker 1: and the promotion and the career goals can all fit 720 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:04,319 Speaker 1: around it. But if your day is hell, then no 721 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:08,440 Speaker 1: matter what goals you hit, your unhappy. So that's kind 722 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,399 Speaker 1: of the granular. What I've found going back to has 723 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,120 Speaker 1: really helped me since having a baby. 724 00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I often describe it as like 725 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,120 Speaker 2: we all spend our brain like our thinking time and 726 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,720 Speaker 2: goal setting time in the macro like macro my title 727 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:26,160 Speaker 2: to be or what are my macro goals? And unfortunately, 728 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,600 Speaker 2: if you leave out the micro of what does that 729 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,840 Speaker 2: translate to day to day? That's how people find achieving 730 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,839 Speaker 2: their goal sometimes doesn't feel the way that they thought 731 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:37,799 Speaker 2: it would because they didn't consider the micro. So I'm 732 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,760 Speaker 2: always like, think about both levels before you decide anything 733 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:41,440 Speaker 2: in your life. 734 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:43,719 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I totally agree. 735 00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:47,200 Speaker 2: When we had the matchup business, the pressure to get 736 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,640 Speaker 2: into supermarkets was so high because it was like, well, 737 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:53,360 Speaker 2: instantly you become a multimillion dollar business, and why would 738 00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:57,000 Speaker 2: you not want to you know, ten times your revenue overnight. 739 00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,960 Speaker 2: And of course for ages, we invested so much money 740 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,440 Speaker 2: in that process, thinking that was the logical next step, 741 00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:07,839 Speaker 2: and then I realized I left corporate to not do that, 742 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,319 Speaker 2: and this is corporatizing the thing that I created. So 743 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,000 Speaker 2: I could leave the corporate world and I don't want 744 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,040 Speaker 2: to be in a hys best in a factory every 745 00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:18,359 Speaker 2: day like it. But the ego of like realizing it's 746 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,920 Speaker 2: okay to not try for that next big thing is 747 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,280 Speaker 2: I think really really complex. 748 00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:27,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, And you've got to create time in your schedule 749 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,120 Speaker 1: to enjoy the big moments like I often, you know, 750 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:37,160 Speaker 1: whether it's live shows or submitting a book or book publicity. 751 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:40,360 Speaker 1: It's like that stuff of like reaping the rewards for 752 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:44,960 Speaker 1: hard work. If that is all done between other hard 753 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:49,839 Speaker 1: work and you're tired and burnt out and grumpy, then 754 00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,400 Speaker 1: none of that is fun. Like and I've had that 755 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:56,279 Speaker 1: experience of like being in this situation and looking around 756 00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,120 Speaker 1: and going, this is a career. I remember going to 757 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,279 Speaker 1: this writer's festival, total career goal. Who I was on 758 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,799 Speaker 1: a panel with, who I got to spend time with, 759 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,040 Speaker 1: And it was traveling and I was in this great 760 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:11,400 Speaker 1: hotel and I resented every minute of it because I 761 00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,200 Speaker 1: wanted to be at home, because I was tired, because 762 00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:16,920 Speaker 1: I had stuff I knew I needed to do between everything. 763 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:22,040 Speaker 1: And in that way, it's like, what's the point if 764 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,000 Speaker 1: you don't get to have fun at those sorts of moments? 765 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,680 Speaker 1: And maybe that means you write a book every five 766 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,080 Speaker 1: years rather than a book every year, like who says 767 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 1: you have to write a book every year. Who says 768 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,600 Speaker 1: that you've got to say yes to this, you know, 769 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:41,520 Speaker 1: incredible opportunity that is going to tire you out so 770 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:47,560 Speaker 1: much that your marriage suffers like no one. So I, yeah, 771 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:52,400 Speaker 1: have certainly that's my goal when I get those incredible moments, 772 00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,000 Speaker 1: to actually be able to feel them. 773 00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:57,399 Speaker 2: I love that reminder because I think, yeah, we think 774 00:41:57,440 --> 00:42:02,080 Speaker 2: of everything monetarily and don't consider that that quote of 775 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:04,080 Speaker 2: like if it costs you your peace, it's too expensive, 776 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,000 Speaker 2: so it doesn't really matter what you make from it 777 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,319 Speaker 2: if you're unhappy, Like what's the point. And You've got 778 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:11,520 Speaker 2: a beautiful chapter in my dear friend Genevieve Day's book 779 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,920 Speaker 2: on the Juggle, and there was something you said that 780 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:16,560 Speaker 2: I highlighted and scribbled down because I thought it was 781 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:20,440 Speaker 2: just so valid that you had become ungrateful for objectively 782 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,799 Speaker 2: joyful moments. And I think that's when you know you've 783 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:26,200 Speaker 2: pushed it too far, when you can't even enjoy the 784 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,279 Speaker 2: good bits, so like why have any bits at all? 785 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,600 Speaker 1: Yes? And then you become I've got a real thing 786 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:35,200 Speaker 1: about being in moments and thinking I should feel one 787 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:37,640 Speaker 1: way and not feeling that way, Which is this I 788 00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:41,759 Speaker 1: heard this term recently about emotional perfectionism. I think that's 789 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,279 Speaker 1: what I had that I think my emotion should be 790 00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:47,200 Speaker 1: perfect in every moment, and they're not. And that's been 791 00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:51,359 Speaker 1: a real like relief actually, because you look at like, 792 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,400 Speaker 1: for example, I went and saw Jolly Olderton recently at 793 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:55,759 Speaker 1: the Opera House, and you look at her in the 794 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:58,120 Speaker 1: opera House, and she sold out the opera House, and 795 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,600 Speaker 1: she looks gorgeous and what a career. And most people 796 00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:03,640 Speaker 1: in media would look at her and go, that is 797 00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:08,080 Speaker 1: what I want. But my own life has taught me 798 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,680 Speaker 1: you have no idea how she feels you have. It 799 00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:15,799 Speaker 1: can look so glamorous, but she might have had the 800 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,759 Speaker 1: worst day and been slogging over a script that she 801 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,760 Speaker 1: submitted that got rejected, Like you just have no idea, 802 00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:26,400 Speaker 1: And then someone in the audience who's just come here 803 00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:28,799 Speaker 1: and she's been looking forward to it all week is 804 00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:32,120 Speaker 1: probably feeling a lot happier than Dolly on stage, and 805 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,839 Speaker 1: who's the winner there, Like, happiness can't be felt by 806 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,719 Speaker 1: the other people around you who are envious. If you 807 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,239 Speaker 1: think that other people's envy is going to build you up, 808 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:45,600 Speaker 1: it's not because you can't touch that. So it's I think, 809 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:50,240 Speaker 1: realizing as well as cliche as it is the tiny, 810 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:55,759 Speaker 1: tiny joys that bring you just as much happiness, which 811 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:59,959 Speaker 1: is like, you know, today I'm mostly at home with Luna, 812 00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:01,640 Speaker 1: and it'll be the best day of my week. No 813 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,040 Speaker 1: matter what else happens, it'll be the best day of 814 00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:07,520 Speaker 1: my week. And yeah, that's certainly been a surprise. I think. 815 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,000 Speaker 2: Oh, I love that, and I can't wait to get 816 00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:14,680 Speaker 2: to more on Lunar and oh my goodness, you're sixty 817 00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,120 Speaker 2: two and a half hour labor like you will talk 818 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,240 Speaker 2: about proving to yourself that you can do hard things 819 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,520 Speaker 2: in just a moment, but just wrapping up the sort 820 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:26,720 Speaker 2: of career progression, and particularly the lattice, I love that analogy. 821 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,200 Speaker 2: I think that's such a good visual reminder that it 822 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:33,360 Speaker 2: doesn't have to just go upwards in the sort of 823 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,799 Speaker 2: complicated matrix, particularly as women that we have, but just 824 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,600 Speaker 2: for anyone really of putting yourself forward for new positions, 825 00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:45,799 Speaker 2: not believing that you can do them, imposter syndrome, self doubt, burnout, 826 00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,759 Speaker 2: everything that comes with going, you know, getting promotions and 827 00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:53,160 Speaker 2: putting yourself forward for those things. What has been your 828 00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:55,439 Speaker 2: You mentioned that you're not always thinking you know too 829 00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:59,600 Speaker 2: far ahead? What has been your model for those moves? 830 00:44:59,760 --> 00:44:59,880 Speaker 1: Ea? 831 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,960 Speaker 2: Each of those jumps? Has it been like a mentor 832 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:04,640 Speaker 2: that you turn to? Like, how do you even know 833 00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:06,520 Speaker 2: that it's time for a new role? How did you 834 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,799 Speaker 2: decide I want to be an author? How did you 835 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,880 Speaker 2: kind of know when the cusp of a new chapter 836 00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:13,080 Speaker 2: was happening? 837 00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:17,719 Speaker 1: I and this is not necessarily a great model, but 838 00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:28,319 Speaker 1: it's true. Is I have used jealousy. So anytime I 839 00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:32,600 Speaker 1: feel jealousy, which I am quite a jealous envious person 840 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:35,439 Speaker 1: at something I don't like about myself, but every time 841 00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,080 Speaker 1: I see it, every time I feel it, I go, 842 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,719 Speaker 1: what is it that you want? And sometimes if I 843 00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,760 Speaker 1: look at it really closely and I go, you actually 844 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:47,440 Speaker 1: don't want that, the jealousy of vaporates, which is great. 845 00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:51,359 Speaker 1: So it's like sometimes I say something and I'm like, oh, 846 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,239 Speaker 1: you said no to that, you actually don't want to 847 00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:56,080 Speaker 1: do that, and then you go, ah, oh cool, I'm 848 00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:58,960 Speaker 1: actually not jealous. And then other times I go, Okay, 849 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,839 Speaker 1: this person has written a book. Oh, this person wrote 850 00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,279 Speaker 1: a fiction book. I've always want to write a fiction book. 851 00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:07,719 Speaker 1: And it's like, oh, great, that was clarifying. You want 852 00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:12,240 Speaker 1: to write a fiction book, Well, then do it instead 853 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:14,799 Speaker 1: of sitting there stewing on how jealous you feel about 854 00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:17,000 Speaker 1: this person or thinking it has anything to do with them, 855 00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:22,520 Speaker 1: because it doesn't. It's just your own like navigation system 856 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:28,680 Speaker 1: of what's next. And then like I found that with 857 00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,880 Speaker 1: television as well, and I think it all builds on 858 00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:33,439 Speaker 1: each other, Like I wouldn't have been able to write 859 00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,040 Speaker 1: fiction if I hadn't written nonfiction. That was my putting 860 00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,720 Speaker 1: my toe in and going can we write a book 861 00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,960 Speaker 1: and playing with narrative, and then going, I think I've 862 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,920 Speaker 1: skilled up to go, Okay, I can write fiction, which 863 00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:48,600 Speaker 1: is dialogue. You learn how to write dialogue and then 864 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:50,799 Speaker 1: you go all right. I actually do think I can 865 00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,920 Speaker 1: write for screen, but there's no way I could have 866 00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:56,239 Speaker 1: started with screen. And in saying that, it's like when 867 00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:00,279 Speaker 1: Claire and I wrote our first episode of something, we 868 00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,880 Speaker 1: did not know the program, so it's like everyone was 869 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,640 Speaker 1: sending us, We're like, oh, can we just see you 870 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,359 Speaker 1: like what a script looks like? Because I was like, 871 00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,040 Speaker 1: what what do you do? 872 00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:11,560 Speaker 2: Do you write? 873 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:16,080 Speaker 1: Is the name in capitals? Like I've never I literally 874 00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,640 Speaker 1: have on my bookshelf all the succession scripts and I've 875 00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,360 Speaker 1: got the script for fleabag and I've got the script 876 00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:24,640 Speaker 1: for normal people, because I was like, I need to 877 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:28,480 Speaker 1: self teat like I haven't done a course in this. 878 00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:31,200 Speaker 1: I don't know all these people went to UNI to 879 00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:33,799 Speaker 1: go and learn to script write, like I need to 880 00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:38,839 Speaker 1: learn in one day how to write a script. And 881 00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:42,760 Speaker 1: maybe that comes down to like studying, Like I quite 882 00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:48,120 Speaker 1: like that intense getting across something quickly, and a belief 883 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:52,439 Speaker 1: that if you work hard at something you'll be able 884 00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:54,120 Speaker 1: to do it. Like I have a very strong belief 885 00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,520 Speaker 1: in prep that's the only way that I get over nerves. 886 00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:00,799 Speaker 1: Is like if I were to go on stage in 887 00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,520 Speaker 1: an hour, I would probably be really nervous because like 888 00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:05,480 Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm going to say. But if 889 00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:08,440 Speaker 1: I know what I'm going to say, know how it's 890 00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:12,320 Speaker 1: going to go, and I trust my ability to prepare, 891 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:16,919 Speaker 1: I don't trust myself. So that I think has been 892 00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:20,360 Speaker 1: a good mantra for me is that like if you 893 00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:25,000 Speaker 1: work hard enough, the imposter syndrome or whatever you want 894 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:29,680 Speaker 1: to call it will dissipate because you know you've put 895 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:30,320 Speaker 1: in the hours. 896 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:34,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like giving yourself data points to sort of 897 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:40,799 Speaker 2: rely on exactly. You know, self doubt in Korea and 898 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,560 Speaker 2: upskilling it sort of seems like the biggest thing in 899 00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:48,640 Speaker 2: your entire life until you become a mum, and then 900 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:51,520 Speaker 2: all the problems you thought you have become very simple 901 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:55,040 Speaker 2: and they've become really one dimensional compared to sort of 902 00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,200 Speaker 2: this whole new thing that you're facing where you're like, oh, 903 00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:01,120 Speaker 2: I thought I knew what the word hard meant until now, 904 00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:03,160 Speaker 2: and I don't even know. I mean, I had a 905 00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,080 Speaker 2: C section, so it was like ten minutes and then 906 00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:07,080 Speaker 2: it was just kind of done. But sixty two and 907 00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,640 Speaker 2: a half hours, like, tell me you didn't have moments 908 00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:13,920 Speaker 2: of self doubt like I can't do this? What happened? 909 00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:16,319 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that was. 910 00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:22,880 Speaker 1: The whole pregnancy, and I got perinatal depression and anxiety 911 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:27,960 Speaker 1: like I was. I have a total phobia of pain, 912 00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,719 Speaker 1: of being stuck, which is kind of what labor is, 913 00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:34,520 Speaker 1: like you are stuck in experience that you can't end. 914 00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:39,960 Speaker 1: Absolutely no belief that I could do that, And it 915 00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,520 Speaker 1: didn't matter how many women said they'd done it, because 916 00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,440 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, yeah, but you're stronger than me. 917 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,319 Speaker 1: You don't get it. I'm weak, you're strong. I have 918 00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:50,239 Speaker 1: no doubt that you did that. I saw my psychologist 919 00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:54,000 Speaker 1: during it and he said he kind of got to 920 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,800 Speaker 1: the bottom of it and was like, you are scared 921 00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,200 Speaker 1: that you're going to die. And I was like, I am. 922 00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,640 Speaker 1: I am scared that I'm going to die when I 923 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:05,160 Speaker 1: give birth, Like I just don't have any faithor in 924 00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:09,640 Speaker 1: my body's ability to do it. And so I actually 925 00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:12,279 Speaker 1: went in initially and said I need to get a 926 00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,200 Speaker 1: C section. I'd had a really traumatic experience with pain 927 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,960 Speaker 1: where I had been stuck in pain for a long 928 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:21,799 Speaker 1: period prior just a year prior, and I was like, 929 00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:24,960 Speaker 1: if I get stuck in pain, I will panic, and 930 00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:28,279 Speaker 1: I really don't want to panic, and I need to 931 00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,560 Speaker 1: control what I can. And the obstetrician said, I hear you, 932 00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:33,920 Speaker 1: and if that's the choice you want to make, absolutely, 933 00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:38,640 Speaker 1: but think about it. And he said to me, it's 934 00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:44,040 Speaker 1: one day of your life, which ironically it wasn't. I think, 935 00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:47,480 Speaker 1: let's just keep an eye on this baby and positioning 936 00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:52,560 Speaker 1: and measurements, and I think you'll be surprised. And so 937 00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:56,280 Speaker 1: I did lots of research. I did the birthing classes, 938 00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:59,480 Speaker 1: I read all the books, and I went I think 939 00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:03,279 Speaker 1: this is intant for me to try, like that it 940 00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:06,640 Speaker 1: could be quite a big thing if I'm able to 941 00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:10,799 Speaker 1: do it. And so me and my my twin sister 942 00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:16,040 Speaker 1: both had very very long labors and they just weren't 943 00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:20,160 Speaker 1: progressing and kept getting sent home from hospital and all 944 00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,799 Speaker 1: of that. And then I went in. I got an epigeneral. 945 00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:25,400 Speaker 1: They say to wait till you're like, I don't know 946 00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:27,680 Speaker 1: five centimeters. I think I was two, and I was like, 947 00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,320 Speaker 1: stick it in. I just I have guys, It's just 948 00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:33,839 Speaker 1: I have no pain for it. I'll just do it. 949 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:39,200 Speaker 1: And then the actual giving birth is the best experience 950 00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:43,680 Speaker 1: I've ever had, Like I absolutely loved it, and I 951 00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:47,200 Speaker 1: have walked around the world since. And I've been really 952 00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:50,080 Speaker 1: careful about talking about this because you do not earn 953 00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,880 Speaker 1: a birth. My twin sister, with the same body had 954 00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:56,239 Speaker 1: a traumatic birth, Like we could not be more identical. 955 00:51:56,480 --> 00:52:00,799 Speaker 1: We prepared exactly the same. I didn't earn anything. But 956 00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:06,160 Speaker 1: even with her traumatic birth, we've both said, you can 957 00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:09,319 Speaker 1: walk around the world a little bit straighter because you're like, 958 00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:12,560 Speaker 1: I cannot believe what my body did, whether that is 959 00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:18,120 Speaker 1: vaginal c section, however that baby comes out, you're like, 960 00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:22,200 Speaker 1: holy shit, Like I didn't know I could grow a 961 00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,680 Speaker 1: baby and even like look after it and you feel 962 00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,040 Speaker 1: like a baileya every minute of every day. But like 963 00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,640 Speaker 1: that to me has given me more self esteem than 964 00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:35,000 Speaker 1: anything I've ever done. Like I just can't believe if 965 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,960 Speaker 1: that baby, who I think is the most perfect thing 966 00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:41,040 Speaker 1: in the world, has anything to do with me, then 967 00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:44,160 Speaker 1: like I am great. 968 00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:50,920 Speaker 2: I am the actual shit, Like the actual shit. I 969 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:54,839 Speaker 2: think that's just one thing that's amazing about listening to 970 00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,279 Speaker 2: you is that in every regard, whether it's like your 971 00:52:57,360 --> 00:53:01,560 Speaker 2: childhood or your career or even giving birth, it's your 972 00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:05,600 Speaker 2: incredible self awareness. And I think the disconnect for a 973 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,680 Speaker 2: lot of people in fulfillment or happiness or whatever you 974 00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:12,560 Speaker 2: want to call it with their life is that they 975 00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:15,719 Speaker 2: don't just really get in touch with like what am 976 00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:18,120 Speaker 2: I good at? What are my incentives? What motivates me? 977 00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,480 Speaker 2: What doesn't motivate me? Like you know that you to 978 00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:24,080 Speaker 2: even be able to articulate that you operate from jealousy, 979 00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:26,759 Speaker 2: Like that's a motivator, Like it's you know, you don't 980 00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:28,319 Speaker 2: want to be a jealous person, but the fact that 981 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,319 Speaker 2: you can use that to your advantage, Like all you 982 00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,480 Speaker 2: need to know is the fabric that makes up your 983 00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:37,120 Speaker 2: exact composition of like fulfillment and then just build your 984 00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,600 Speaker 2: life around it. And I think the problem is that 985 00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:43,360 Speaker 2: people look at other people's fabric and then make decisions 986 00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,000 Speaker 2: based on that, and it's like, well, of course horse 987 00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:48,200 Speaker 2: riding wasn't going to make you happy because you hate animals, 988 00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:51,440 Speaker 2: Like that doesn't make sense, you know exactly, And it's 989 00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:55,640 Speaker 2: about that acceptance, Like it's I think being really close 990 00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:58,359 Speaker 2: to your siblings helps because even if you don't have 991 00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:01,480 Speaker 2: self awareness, they will give it to you. Like no 992 00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:05,960 Speaker 2: one will tell me in how many different ways I'm flawed, 993 00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,279 Speaker 2: like my family will in a very loving way. 994 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:12,120 Speaker 1: But I think you're absolutely right. It's like we're very 995 00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:18,879 Speaker 1: quick to see everyone else's issues and neuroses and diagnose 996 00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:21,000 Speaker 1: and narcissism and all of those things that we throw 997 00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:26,280 Speaker 1: around without seeing that we have exactly the same level 998 00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:29,040 Speaker 1: of shit that we're dealing with. And I think self 999 00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:34,480 Speaker 1: awareness gets you a long way. And you know that 1000 00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:40,400 Speaker 1: self reflection because I've seen like going and seeing a 1001 00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:43,360 Speaker 1: psychologist and that's because I've had years of knowing that 1002 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,840 Speaker 1: I'm anxious or having episodes of depression and being able 1003 00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:51,840 Speaker 1: to work out why that happens and where I get stuck. 1004 00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,480 Speaker 1: I can't always see that in the moment, but I 1005 00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:59,360 Speaker 1: certainly see the value in untangling it after and sometimes 1006 00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:01,560 Speaker 1: if it's writing down. I found writing really good for 1007 00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:05,600 Speaker 1: that in terms of processing what's going on. And even 1008 00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,560 Speaker 1: like after giving birth, it was like I didn't write 1009 00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:10,799 Speaker 1: anything to publish, but like I might just write in 1010 00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:15,680 Speaker 1: a journal to just understand the complexity of all the feelings. Yeah. 1011 00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:18,719 Speaker 2: Wow, And now would you say, I mean like we 1012 00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:21,200 Speaker 2: need a whole other episode to talk about the juggle 1013 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:25,400 Speaker 2: and the way that your goal setting, time management, prioritization, 1014 00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,600 Speaker 2: like self care, all of those things just completely changes 1015 00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:31,920 Speaker 2: in such a radical way once you have a baby. 1016 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:37,560 Speaker 2: Now that Luna's sort of sixteen months, did you say, yeah, yeah, 1017 00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:40,520 Speaker 2: how are you feeling in terms of are you full 1018 00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,799 Speaker 2: pelt back at work? Do you feel like is there 1019 00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:47,120 Speaker 2: still the mumfog? Are you like how you feeling with 1020 00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:48,040 Speaker 2: the juggle? 1021 00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,719 Speaker 1: Every like every week since I've had Lunar, I would 1022 00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:56,240 Speaker 1: have a different answer still now, like I think it changes. 1023 00:55:56,760 --> 00:56:02,959 Speaker 1: Right now, I'm feeling very good because I went away 1024 00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:06,279 Speaker 1: with my family last weekend. I have It's funny because 1025 00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,359 Speaker 1: a lot of what I do is public facing, right, 1026 00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:11,600 Speaker 1: So it's like if I'm on a podcast, then my 1027 00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:13,920 Speaker 1: friends and family will probably see a video of it 1028 00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,319 Speaker 1: on Instagram. What you can't see is how many of 1029 00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:18,719 Speaker 1: those podcasts I did in one day. So it might 1030 00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:21,239 Speaker 1: look like I'm working every day, but I'm absolutely not 1031 00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:24,719 Speaker 1: working every day. It's like I try and have at 1032 00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:28,920 Speaker 1: least probably one to two days during the week that 1033 00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,080 Speaker 1: can be lunar days and during her naps. I will, 1034 00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,680 Speaker 1: you know, whether it's a bit of script writing or 1035 00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:38,480 Speaker 1: other projects I'm working on, I will try and get 1036 00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:43,560 Speaker 1: that done. But my vision of success has totally changed 1037 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:47,920 Speaker 1: and the cost of what projects Like, I think I 1038 00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:52,319 Speaker 1: was very like, very ambitious. I still am very ambitious, 1039 00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:54,799 Speaker 1: and I felt to coming back actually because I think 1040 00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:58,600 Speaker 1: that for a while the ambition did dull, not in 1041 00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:02,160 Speaker 1: a bad way, but I was just very focused on 1042 00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:05,680 Speaker 1: as much time as possible with Luna. I'm feeling it 1043 00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:09,239 Speaker 1: come back because I simply have more time, and like 1044 00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:14,360 Speaker 1: even the difference between my baby and Clare's is that 1045 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,200 Speaker 1: she's at an age now where like she'll sit there 1046 00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,160 Speaker 1: and read her book and like she kind of wants 1047 00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:21,880 Speaker 1: a bit of independence, and that might mean that I 1048 00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:24,560 Speaker 1: can read a book, or that I can go and 1049 00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:27,240 Speaker 1: do like I know that she doesn't. There's just I'm 1050 00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:32,320 Speaker 1: feeling more and more independence, I think. So at the moment, yeah, 1051 00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:36,600 Speaker 1: I would probably do like I reckon three three and 1052 00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:40,080 Speaker 1: a half full days a week of work and then 1053 00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:45,240 Speaker 1: around naps try and work however I can. But the 1054 00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:50,240 Speaker 1: big thing has been family. I have enormous my mother 1055 00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:55,160 Speaker 1: in law, my mum, Like, we have a nanny who 1056 00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:58,120 Speaker 1: comes a day a week right now, my father in 1057 00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:02,560 Speaker 1: law and Luca's brother is downstairs with lunar like. That 1058 00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:06,600 Speaker 1: has been the greatest, the greatest blessing. There is no 1059 00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:10,520 Speaker 1: privilege when you have kids like. Family like that has 1060 00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:14,600 Speaker 1: just made this experience totally different than it might be 1061 00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:17,720 Speaker 1: if I lived regionally or overseas and had no support. 1062 00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:20,400 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm the same. My family lived within 1063 00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:23,480 Speaker 2: like four ks or three k's and over every day, 1064 00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:27,040 Speaker 2: and I just think on those days where I'm not 1065 00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:29,120 Speaker 2: feeling great and i don't feel like I'm getting the 1066 00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:31,600 Speaker 2: balance right, I'm just like and I have all that. 1067 00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:36,600 Speaker 2: Imagine Yeah, without that, how I would be feeling. 1068 00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:40,200 Speaker 1: Even on the days when you don't need the help 1069 00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:42,600 Speaker 1: or you don't call in the help. You do know 1070 00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:47,160 Speaker 1: it's there, and that's very different. Like imagine not sleeping 1071 00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:50,200 Speaker 1: waking up and going there is no one I can call. 1072 00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:54,120 Speaker 1: Knowing that there are people you can call is totally 1073 00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:59,680 Speaker 1: totally different. Like I just think, yeah, the experience for people, 1074 00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:02,280 Speaker 1: I feel like I've always got to preface everything with 1075 00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:06,000 Speaker 1: that because I just think i'd have it'd be completely 1076 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:07,320 Speaker 1: different if I didn't have that sort. 1077 00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:10,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm absolutely in the same boat, and it is. 1078 00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:14,960 Speaker 2: It does allow a big part of your brain the 1079 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:17,920 Speaker 2: freedom to just enjoy the experience a lot more because 1080 00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:22,760 Speaker 2: you're not completely without any break or without any time 1081 00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,200 Speaker 2: to like miss them. You know, it's like absence makes 1082 00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:27,760 Speaker 2: the heart grow fonder with everything. But I think also 1083 00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:30,960 Speaker 2: in motherhood it's nice to yeah, I mean, once you 1084 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,160 Speaker 2: first get through that first kind of bit, to be 1085 00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:35,400 Speaker 2: able to start to miss them and then be so 1086 00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:38,160 Speaker 2: excited when you get to get to see them again. 1087 00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,440 Speaker 1: Exactly and to know that, you know, I get up 1088 00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:43,440 Speaker 1: and have this great I get to do breakfast and 1089 00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:45,480 Speaker 1: we hang out in the morning and we have this 1090 00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:48,600 Speaker 1: great time before my mom comes and seeing her face 1091 00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:51,320 Speaker 1: light up when she sees my mom or Luca's mom 1092 00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:53,480 Speaker 1: is just the greatest joy. And then I get to 1093 00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:59,560 Speaker 1: run in the door like after work, and I've never 1094 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:03,440 Speaker 1: run high from work before. I just am so keen 1095 01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,480 Speaker 1: to get back, and I feel like that helps me 1096 01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:10,640 Speaker 1: to appreciate it, like it's it's just so so much fun. 1097 01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:14,320 Speaker 1: And to see other people what they see in your baby, 1098 01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:17,520 Speaker 1: to have that shared and to just all of you 1099 01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:22,960 Speaker 1: marvel at this baby together is like, yeah, it's how 1100 01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:27,520 Speaker 1: our ancestors did it. And I just the loneliness that 1101 01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:31,320 Speaker 1: and I think you feel loneliness regardless, but yeah, it's 1102 01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:33,840 Speaker 1: definitely different when you've got a real support network. 1103 01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:36,880 Speaker 2: Well, Jesse, I know today is a lunar day and 1104 01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:39,200 Speaker 2: I don't want to take any more of your precious time, 1105 01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,320 Speaker 2: but I feel like I could. I've there's so many 1106 01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:44,400 Speaker 2: things I want to talk. We didn't even touch on strife. 1107 01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:46,480 Speaker 2: We hardly even got into your books. But I'll include 1108 01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:49,360 Speaker 2: links to everything in the show notes. And of course 1109 01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:51,080 Speaker 2: I don't think I need to link one mayor out 1110 01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:52,440 Speaker 2: loud or any of the shows because I feel like 1111 01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:54,919 Speaker 2: everyone will already know what they are, but just in case, 1112 01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:56,919 Speaker 2: I will make sure to include all that. But thank 1113 01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:59,200 Speaker 2: you so much for your time. It's been such a joy. 1114 01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:01,560 Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you for having me, and I've really 1115 01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:06,120 Speaker 1: enjoyed listening to your podcast and seeing all your work 1116 01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:08,000 Speaker 1: and the community that you've built. So thank you for 1117 01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:08,960 Speaker 1: everything you've done. 1118 01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:11,160 Speaker 2: Like I said at the start of this conversation, this 1119 01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:13,120 Speaker 2: was actually the first time I'd ever sat down to 1120 01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:16,040 Speaker 2: chat with Jesse, and yet somehow I feel like we 1121 01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:18,160 Speaker 2: had been friends for a million years. I could tell 1122 01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:21,880 Speaker 2: her pretty much anything, my deepest, darkest fears, all my vulnerabilities. 1123 01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:25,880 Speaker 2: She's just one of those warm, intelligent, articulate people that 1124 01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,920 Speaker 2: you just can't hear enough of. I could have chatted 1125 01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,640 Speaker 2: to her for hours and probably will have her back 1126 01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:33,280 Speaker 2: on the show at some point. Definitely going to go 1127 01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:36,920 Speaker 2: and reread her two books. If you don't follow her already, 1128 01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,600 Speaker 2: you absolutely should. I suspect most of you probably already do. 1129 01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,560 Speaker 2: But in case you don't, I will pop the link 1130 01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:44,200 Speaker 2: to her page in the show notes, as well as 1131 01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:46,680 Speaker 2: the link to the shows she hosts on Mamma Maya 1132 01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:50,440 Speaker 2: and her two beautiful books. In the meantime, I hope 1133 01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:53,600 Speaker 2: you guys are having a wonderful week. The silly season 1134 01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:57,360 Speaker 2: isn't too silly too quickly. I feel like it's starting 1135 01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:59,680 Speaker 2: earlier and early every year. It is absolutely wild, but 1136 01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:03,200 Speaker 2: I hope you're all looking after yourselves and seizing U 1137 01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:24,080 Speaker 2: A h