WEBVTT - Prue Didn’t Realise She Was Pregnant Until She Went Into Labour 0:00:21.773 --> 0:00:24.493 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 0:00:25.212 --> 0:00:28.413 Mama Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 0:00:28.453 --> 0:00:31.452 that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects 0:00:31.533 --> 0:00:35.092 to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to 0:00:35.132 --> 0:00:38.253 continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has 0:00:38.293 --> 0:00:40.892 been a fundamental part of indigenous culture. 0:00:44.893 --> 0:00:45.093 Hi. 0:00:45.293 --> 0:00:48.693 I'm Cassani Lukig and this is Diary of a birth. 0:00:49.693 --> 0:00:53.572 On today's episode, we're revisiting a great conversation Jesse Stevens 0:00:53.653 --> 0:00:57.213 had a few years ago with a young mum brew 0:00:57.413 --> 0:01:01.413 was nineteen. She'd been experiencing some stomach aches, but had 0:01:01.453 --> 0:01:03.093 always suffered from IBD. 0:01:03.813 --> 0:01:05.613 I didn't think much of it until. 0:01:05.413 --> 0:01:08.053 She was sitting in an emergency room and a doctor 0:01:08.092 --> 0:01:11.453 pressed on her stomach. She didn't feel pain, but suddenly 0:01:11.932 --> 0:01:15.333 she thought she'd peed, but to her surprise, it was 0:01:15.493 --> 0:01:18.132 her water breaking. We'll let Jesse take. 0:01:17.973 --> 0:01:18.453 It from here. 0:01:23.053 --> 0:01:25.413 Can you tell me about the day that you started 0:01:25.413 --> 0:01:28.333 to have a weird tummy ache that kind of stopped 0:01:28.372 --> 0:01:29.013 you in your tracks. 0:01:29.092 --> 0:01:30.853 Well, I was at work, yep. 0:01:31.173 --> 0:01:33.853 I worked in hospitality and was setting up a function, 0:01:34.293 --> 0:01:36.773 and it was early morning and I actually started to 0:01:36.773 --> 0:01:40.933 get really bad lower back pain. Right, and was like, oh, 0:01:41.013 --> 0:01:43.933 what is this. I've done something. I've hurt my back 0:01:44.013 --> 0:01:47.933 moving furniture. And it started from there. 0:01:48.373 --> 0:01:50.573 And how old were you when you're working at this 0:01:50.653 --> 0:01:54.293 hospitality job. Nineteen, so you're nineteen. You've got a bit 0:01:54.293 --> 0:01:56.693 of a solo back, which happens when you're moving furniture 0:01:56.773 --> 0:01:58.772 or a you're moving stuff all around the place. When 0:01:58.813 --> 0:02:00.733 did it start to get more into your tummy? 0:02:00.893 --> 0:02:02.693 They sent me home early from my shift because I 0:02:02.693 --> 0:02:05.933 had a sew back. Went home, and actually it was 0:02:05.972 --> 0:02:07.533 when I got home, I was like, oh my god, 0:02:07.613 --> 0:02:11.813 my tummy's hurting like it was swollen. So I had 0:02:11.853 --> 0:02:16.253 no stomach as a pregnant person, and yeah, my stomach 0:02:16.293 --> 0:02:19.373 started to just get swollen and expand, like to a 0:02:19.413 --> 0:02:21.933 point where I can see people that are nine months 0:02:21.933 --> 0:02:23.653 pregnant now and I go, oh, yeah, that's exactly what 0:02:23.653 --> 0:02:24.413 my tummy looked like. 0:02:25.333 --> 0:02:26.013 But that was it. 0:02:26.093 --> 0:02:29.373 And I was at home with my sister and I 0:02:29.412 --> 0:02:31.732 was like, I can't supposed to play netball. I said, 0:02:31.773 --> 0:02:33.653 I can't play netball on my backs really saw I 0:02:33.733 --> 0:02:37.132 mean so much pain, look at my stomach. My sister goes, oh, oh, 0:02:37.173 --> 0:02:40.532 my col moum and their mum went calling an ambulance. 0:02:41.132 --> 0:02:42.732 Was it anything like period pain? 0:02:43.173 --> 0:02:44.532 It was worse, right. 0:02:44.613 --> 0:02:47.213 It started off like that lower back pain that you 0:02:47.252 --> 0:02:49.653 get with periods and so on. But then it just 0:02:49.692 --> 0:02:52.213 got worse and worse, and I was like, oh my god, 0:02:52.292 --> 0:02:56.412 this is not normal. And I had IBS when I 0:02:56.453 --> 0:02:58.493 was younger, yeah, and so I thought it was something 0:02:58.532 --> 0:03:00.373 to do with that, because my stomach had just swollen 0:03:00.453 --> 0:03:03.013 all of a sudden, And so that's why my mom 0:03:03.053 --> 0:03:05.012 said to my sister, call an ambulance. She's got to 0:03:05.053 --> 0:03:05.732 go to the hospital. 0:03:06.093 --> 0:03:07.892 So when you were in the ambulance on your way 0:03:07.893 --> 0:03:10.733 and you're in pretty excruciating pain, did you think they 0:03:10.733 --> 0:03:12.133 were going to look at you and go, all right, 0:03:12.173 --> 0:03:15.613 this is an IBS flare, Yeah, like here's some medicine. 0:03:16.013 --> 0:03:17.772 Yep. I thought it was a twisted bow. 0:03:17.893 --> 0:03:19.773 Like. I was like, oh my god, there, something's gone wrong. 0:03:20.933 --> 0:03:22.893 The whole time I was thinking that, And so the 0:03:22.933 --> 0:03:26.532 ambulance drivers were saying, they were like, okay, cool, it's 0:03:26.773 --> 0:03:28.252 something to do with your bows. 0:03:28.852 --> 0:03:32.893 And you arrive at the hospital and they want to 0:03:32.933 --> 0:03:34.813 take a little bit of a look. What do they 0:03:34.853 --> 0:03:37.733 do in terms of investigating going too emergency? 0:03:37.813 --> 0:03:38.573 So by that time. 0:03:38.573 --> 0:03:41.213 My mum was there, yep, And we're sitting in an 0:03:41.213 --> 0:03:43.413 emergency and the doctor comes over and just presses on 0:03:43.493 --> 0:03:44.133 my stomach. 0:03:44.413 --> 0:03:46.173 Did it hurt when he pressed on your stomach? 0:03:46.413 --> 0:03:46.612 No? 0:03:47.013 --> 0:03:50.413 It wasn't like, you know, really tough, like there was pressure, 0:03:51.013 --> 0:03:55.333 nothing that was excruciating. And yeah, pressed on my stomach 0:03:55.373 --> 0:03:58.052 and pressed low, way down, and I was like, oh 0:03:58.093 --> 0:04:00.893 my god. And he was like, what happened? And I 0:04:00.893 --> 0:04:03.573 went I think I've just got my pants and he 0:04:03.693 --> 0:04:06.373 was like, oh, I just disappeared for a bit. 0:04:06.653 --> 0:04:09.213 Was there any relief when you wet your pants? 0:04:09.453 --> 0:04:09.973 Not really. 0:04:10.013 --> 0:04:12.693 I was more like just going, oh god, how apparent totally. 0:04:13.173 --> 0:04:15.453 I was like, oh my god, embarrassing. And then I 0:04:15.453 --> 0:04:19.652 was like, oh, that's not normal. And then he rolled 0:04:19.653 --> 0:04:23.452 back in a monitor and put that over my stomach 0:04:23.493 --> 0:04:27.253 and were like, so that wasn't you wetting your pants. 0:04:27.293 --> 0:04:30.053 That was your water breaking and you're actually in labor. 0:04:30.613 --> 0:04:34.173 What went through your head in that moment? 0:04:35.013 --> 0:04:35.613 She panic? 0:04:36.013 --> 0:04:39.053 Yeah, like I said, oh my god, am I home? 0:04:39.213 --> 0:04:42.613 What what do you mean? And my Mum's going what 0:04:43.093 --> 0:04:45.533 she can't be? And I was like, OK, how do. 0:04:45.493 --> 0:04:48.293 Is how how I've not been pregnant? No? 0:04:48.853 --> 0:04:51.653 And because I had my periods the whole way through. 0:04:52.053 --> 0:04:54.493 Can you describe that because I've heard this before with 0:04:54.573 --> 0:04:58.813 people who have these surprise births every month. Were you're 0:04:58.813 --> 0:04:59.452 getting your period? 0:04:59.573 --> 0:05:02.133 Yeah, probably not as heavy as what they were, but 0:05:02.213 --> 0:05:05.853 they were coming, and like not something to make you go, oh. 0:05:05.493 --> 0:05:07.013 I haven't had my period at nine months. 0:05:07.133 --> 0:05:08.813 Yeah, maybe I should go and have a test or 0:05:08.853 --> 0:05:12.053 maybe nothing to that extent. And I was like, that 0:05:12.133 --> 0:05:13.053 doesn't make sense. 0:05:13.893 --> 0:05:18.053 And how about I see a woman at seven, eight, 0:05:18.213 --> 0:05:21.893 nine months pregnant and you couldn't miss it when you 0:05:21.973 --> 0:05:24.213 were at those months leaning up. I know that you 0:05:24.213 --> 0:05:25.893 said in those final hours you were like, hang on, 0:05:25.893 --> 0:05:29.212 what's happened to my stomach? But was there any sign 0:05:29.253 --> 0:05:31.173 any weight gain, any bloating. 0:05:31.653 --> 0:05:35.053 There was, but not to the point where you see 0:05:35.093 --> 0:05:39.093 a six seven months pregnant lady. It was just a 0:05:39.253 --> 0:05:42.013 bit of a belly. Yeah, And I, you know, finished 0:05:42.173 --> 0:05:46.493 high school, being nonschoolies felt you know, it's just wait 0:05:46.533 --> 0:05:49.333 because I've been out partying. Yeah, you know, nothing to 0:05:49.413 --> 0:05:54.853 the point of there's an actual live human growing about. 0:05:54.733 --> 0:05:57.253 A baby kicking? Did you ever have that? 0:05:57.773 --> 0:05:57.973 No? 0:05:58.373 --> 0:06:00.373 There was nothing to that, Like, so you know, how 0:06:00.373 --> 0:06:02.573 you see women that go oh look and the leg's 0:06:02.573 --> 0:06:06.213 going yeah, nothing, nothing like that. But like I remember 0:06:06.333 --> 0:06:08.293 like lying on the lounge one night with my sister 0:06:08.373 --> 0:06:10.573 and I was going, look like I can move, I 0:06:10.613 --> 0:06:12.733 can move this thing, and like my sister going, oh, 0:06:12.813 --> 0:06:14.373 that's gross your bows And I was. 0:06:14.413 --> 0:06:19.213 Like, this has gotten out of hand totally. It was, 0:06:19.613 --> 0:06:21.853 And how about I'm morning sickness. 0:06:21.653 --> 0:06:22.733 No morning sickness? 0:06:23.013 --> 0:06:25.253 So looking back, was there anything when you're in that 0:06:25.293 --> 0:06:27.333 state of shock? Are you even able to go back 0:06:27.373 --> 0:06:30.333 and go oh maybe that was a sign. 0:06:30.293 --> 0:06:33.493 Or the only thing that really sticks out is for 0:06:33.653 --> 0:06:36.773 my nineteenth birthday, I had all my friends come over 0:06:38.133 --> 0:06:42.333 and we were going to a nightclub and we were 0:06:42.333 --> 0:06:45.293 having cake and everything before at home before we went out, 0:06:45.413 --> 0:06:47.853 and my sister said something or one of my friends 0:06:47.853 --> 0:06:50.373 said something, and I got really emotional. 0:06:50.093 --> 0:06:52.533 Right, and that was like out of Cara. Yeah, Like 0:06:52.573 --> 0:06:53.653 I was like, why am my office on? 0:06:53.813 --> 0:06:57.493 Like really crying about something really silly that happened, but 0:06:57.573 --> 0:06:58.933 like to the point where I had to like, oh 0:06:58.973 --> 0:07:01.733 my god, and went upstairs to my room and had 0:07:01.773 --> 0:07:03.533 to be cry, and then came back down and went 0:07:03.573 --> 0:07:07.133 out with all my friends. That's so interesting, But that's 0:07:07.213 --> 0:07:09.973 the only thing, like, looking back, I got, oh, yeah, 0:07:10.013 --> 0:07:10.973 that probably makes sense. 0:07:11.293 --> 0:07:15.533 Were you worried at nineteen that your mum or your 0:07:15.573 --> 0:07:16.133 dad would be. 0:07:16.133 --> 0:07:16.573 Mad at you? 0:07:16.853 --> 0:07:17.733 Was that a factor? 0:07:18.213 --> 0:07:22.333 It went through my mind, but not to the point 0:07:22.573 --> 0:07:27.413 of them thinking less of me or disowning me or 0:07:27.453 --> 0:07:30.613 anything like that. They're very, very supportive, and they were 0:07:30.853 --> 0:07:33.213 very supportive in all those early stages. 0:07:33.333 --> 0:07:36.413 So did you have a sense when you're told you're 0:07:36.453 --> 0:07:40.173 in labor, you're nineteen, you have not mentally prepared for this. 0:07:40.813 --> 0:07:43.813 Let alone, don't even get to the baby labor. You 0:07:43.853 --> 0:07:46.853 haven't prepared for that. Did you just feel so trapped 0:07:46.853 --> 0:07:48.853 in that moment of just like, how am I going 0:07:48.933 --> 0:07:50.053 to get this out of me? 0:07:50.333 --> 0:07:52.013 Yeah? I had no idea. 0:07:52.493 --> 0:07:55.053 The only thing that was quite comforting about was obviously 0:07:55.093 --> 0:07:59.053 my mum was there, and there was a lovely midwife, 0:07:59.373 --> 0:08:04.333 like lovely who just made everything okay. I'm not a 0:08:04.333 --> 0:08:07.693 big panicker anyway to go okay whatever, But I think 0:08:07.813 --> 0:08:12.973 you know it went out that you did know relief, 0:08:14.213 --> 0:08:18.293 so everyone was just really calm. I didn't know what 0:08:18.333 --> 0:08:21.213 I was doing. I think that helped. That was just 0:08:21.253 --> 0:08:23.933 there going it's okay, you know, this is what you've 0:08:23.933 --> 0:08:25.973 got to do and explained it all and there was 0:08:26.013 --> 0:08:28.293 no drugs. It was just the little green whistle that 0:08:28.373 --> 0:08:28.853 I had. 0:08:29.613 --> 0:08:32.813 And how was saying, were you in labor then? So 0:08:32.852 --> 0:08:35.252 you started feeling that in the morning during your shift? 0:08:36.133 --> 0:08:39.612 When did you actually give birth to the baby? 0:08:39.693 --> 0:08:42.333 Two twenty oh that's quick. 0:08:42.612 --> 0:08:45.213 Yeah, So obviously they said to me afterwards that your 0:08:45.253 --> 0:08:48.213 labor started with that pain. And that would have been 0:08:48.253 --> 0:08:52.053 maybe eight o'clock in the morning, seven or eight o'clock 0:08:52.053 --> 0:08:55.613 in the morning, and then went home at lunchtime ish, 0:08:55.653 --> 0:08:58.133 because I remember we had to play netball at eleven 0:08:58.173 --> 0:09:00.973 o'clock or something, and so it was just before that 0:09:01.093 --> 0:09:02.893 and I was like, I can't go to netball to 0:09:02.933 --> 0:09:05.653 my sister, so yeah, and then taken to the hospital 0:09:05.653 --> 0:09:05.893 and I. 0:09:05.813 --> 0:09:07.492 Had her at too. So it was really quite quick 0:09:08.293 --> 0:09:09.773 two hours if that. 0:09:10.413 --> 0:09:13.533 As you say, you had the whistle, but was the 0:09:13.573 --> 0:09:17.133 pain pretty much can't even handle it towards the end 0:09:17.493 --> 0:09:19.933 because you've not had an eppy dural or anything like that. 0:09:20.053 --> 0:09:20.373 Nothing. 0:09:20.933 --> 0:09:23.893 No, it just felt like you just needed to push, 0:09:23.973 --> 0:09:28.253 like everything was just pushing down. I wasn't in any pain, 0:09:29.293 --> 0:09:33.053 and even like you know, pushing her out was painful. 0:09:33.493 --> 0:09:36.493 But all I remember doing is just swearing a lot, 0:09:36.853 --> 0:09:39.453 going oh oh oh, and that was it. 0:09:40.533 --> 0:09:44.612 Can you talk me through what that does to your 0:09:44.653 --> 0:09:49.492 head in terms of the level of shock. Because your 0:09:49.693 --> 0:09:53.293 baby girl comes out, that must have been beautiful and exciting. 0:09:53.733 --> 0:09:55.813 But this also is not how you thought your day 0:09:55.853 --> 0:09:58.453 was going. No, in terms of shock, what are the 0:09:58.493 --> 0:10:00.093 next few hours? Like, how do you get your head 0:10:00.133 --> 0:10:00.973 around what's happened? 0:10:01.373 --> 0:10:04.613 It was just a lot of staring at her in 0:10:04.653 --> 0:10:09.733 a non creepy way, but just going oh god, oh 0:10:09.773 --> 0:10:13.973 my god, that just happened. It was shock, but it 0:10:14.053 --> 0:10:17.653 wasn't a terrible shock. It was just like, oh God, 0:10:17.773 --> 0:10:20.173 this has happened, and now I have to. 0:10:20.133 --> 0:10:20.653 Think about it. 0:10:20.653 --> 0:10:23.973 But what I'm going to do? What's my life going 0:10:24.053 --> 0:10:24.213 to be? 0:10:24.453 --> 0:10:24.533 Like? 0:10:25.533 --> 0:10:28.013 Am I going to keep her? So there was all 0:10:28.053 --> 0:10:31.373 that kind of talk with you know, my mom and 0:10:31.493 --> 0:10:33.533 my dad at that point he'd come in, so both 0:10:33.533 --> 0:10:35.253 my parents were there when I had her, so that 0:10:35.373 --> 0:10:36.253 was quite nice. 0:10:36.133 --> 0:10:36.853 They were both there. 0:10:36.893 --> 0:10:41.653 But yeah, it was just that, right, okay, this is happening. 0:10:42.173 --> 0:10:44.893 Were you living at home at the time, Yes, So 0:10:45.533 --> 0:10:46.612 I imagine there wasn't. 0:10:46.413 --> 0:10:48.533 A cot handy nothing. 0:10:49.053 --> 0:10:51.533 Was it you that went Okay, we've got to set 0:10:51.533 --> 0:10:53.813 this up. Or was it your parents that went we 0:10:53.893 --> 0:10:55.253 know what step comes next? 0:10:55.293 --> 0:10:57.133 It was my ear, It was my parents, So my 0:10:57.213 --> 0:10:59.453 mom and my dad really just sort of stepped it 0:10:59.533 --> 0:11:04.133 up and contacted everyone, and it's sort of I live 0:11:04.133 --> 0:11:06.173 in the eastern suburbs and so it sort of spread 0:11:06.213 --> 0:11:10.293 like wildfire that I just had a baby. So all 0:11:10.373 --> 0:11:13.293 my friends were playing netball at the same time as 0:11:13.493 --> 0:11:15.733 my sister and you know, had sort of said, oh, 0:11:15.733 --> 0:11:18.493 I've pres gone to the hospital or something's happened, and 0:11:19.013 --> 0:11:21.213 mom called my sister and told her and she came 0:11:21.293 --> 0:11:24.053 up and then had said to my close girlfriends, this 0:11:24.093 --> 0:11:26.293 is what's happened. So they all came up to the hospital, 0:11:26.973 --> 0:11:29.693 and they got told at the hospital from my mom 0:11:29.733 --> 0:11:32.613 who went out and said, oh, you're all aunties. So 0:11:32.693 --> 0:11:34.893 they had no idea and so they all came in 0:11:34.933 --> 0:11:39.533 and were just in shock too. Were they excited they were, 0:11:39.853 --> 0:11:42.413 I think they were more in shockgoing we just thought 0:11:42.413 --> 0:11:47.293 you didn't want to play netball, And then it just 0:11:47.333 --> 0:11:50.493 sort of spread that they told their parents and everyone 0:11:50.613 --> 0:11:52.653 just sort of was like, right, we know she's got 0:11:52.693 --> 0:11:55.213 nothing because it's you know, no one new, so it 0:11:55.253 --> 0:11:59.333 was just people all banded together and I got a bassinette. 0:11:59.773 --> 0:12:03.413 Everyone went out and bought baby clothes everything. So it 0:12:03.533 --> 0:12:06.413 was just a nice feeling to know that, you know, 0:12:06.493 --> 0:12:08.813 the group of people that I've grown up with all 0:12:08.853 --> 0:12:12.213 banded together and their parents and set it all up. 0:12:12.213 --> 0:12:15.053 So I went home. Probably I stayed in the hospital 0:12:15.093 --> 0:12:19.493 longer than you, because obviously I was still in shock 0:12:21.653 --> 0:12:25.653 and they needed to know teach me everything. So no, 0:12:25.853 --> 0:12:29.053 like I had done none of the prenatal classes, so 0:12:29.093 --> 0:12:31.173 I had to go to all the classes postnatal, like 0:12:31.693 --> 0:12:34.213 how to change a happy, how to breastfeed, how to 0:12:34.653 --> 0:12:37.333 you know, barth the baby, how to do all this stuff? 0:12:37.413 --> 0:12:38.533 Oh my goodness. 0:12:38.653 --> 0:12:43.053 So yeah, staying longer than expected, probably five days, and 0:12:43.093 --> 0:12:47.213 then went home to what was a set up nursery. 0:12:47.973 --> 0:12:52.293 Were you someone who as a teenager had thought much 0:12:52.333 --> 0:12:53.293 about having kids? 0:12:54.053 --> 0:12:54.293 No? 0:12:54.893 --> 0:12:57.813 Right, how about in terms of if you saw a 0:12:57.813 --> 0:13:01.133 baby or whatever, were you maternal or were you kind 0:13:01.133 --> 0:13:01.732 of indifferent? 0:13:02.133 --> 0:13:05.173 I wasn't maternal. That's an awful thing to say. 0:13:05.293 --> 0:13:08.053 No, I think most women feel like that. 0:13:08.253 --> 0:13:11.453 I'm not anyone that thought I would not that I 0:13:11.453 --> 0:13:14.693 would never have children, But I was never thinking, right. 0:13:14.813 --> 0:13:15.693 This is my plan. 0:13:15.813 --> 0:13:17.693 I'm going to meet to the man in my dreams 0:13:17.693 --> 0:13:19.773 and you know we're gonna fall pregnant and have millions 0:13:19.773 --> 0:13:22.573 of babies and baba nah. Not a fairy tale kind 0:13:22.613 --> 0:13:25.173 of person. But it just happened. 0:13:25.533 --> 0:13:29.773 I guess. The other question from that story is what 0:13:30.053 --> 0:13:32.973 is going on with the father? Are you sitting there 0:13:33.053 --> 0:13:37.133 going what do I need to tell him? What was 0:13:37.133 --> 0:13:38.772 that like? Thinking about that conversation? 0:13:39.053 --> 0:13:39.813 It was awkward. 0:13:40.133 --> 0:13:42.133 Yeah, it was like weird because I was like, he 0:13:42.173 --> 0:13:44.253 didn't know that I was pregnant. 0:13:44.453 --> 0:13:46.453 He wasn't a person I decided to have a. 0:13:46.453 --> 0:13:50.492 Child, you know, and it was just like how does 0:13:50.573 --> 0:13:52.613 this happen? And then I was like, oh, I do 0:13:52.813 --> 0:13:57.733 have to say something, Yeah, let's just leave it. It 0:13:57.853 --> 0:14:00.453 was very much or do I really I don't know? 0:14:00.493 --> 0:14:02.893 And then you know it was my mum and you know, 0:14:02.973 --> 0:14:04.973 everyone sort of saying, well, he needs to know when 0:14:05.093 --> 0:14:07.973 his parents need to know that their grandparents all that 0:14:08.093 --> 0:14:10.973 kind of stuff, and then the conversation was just I've 0:14:10.973 --> 0:14:14.213 got had a baby and it's yours and it was 0:14:14.333 --> 0:14:19.053 not a nice conversation. It was a didn't really believe it, 0:14:19.813 --> 0:14:22.933 and so that ended any contact. 0:14:23.253 --> 0:14:25.333 So it was father, you and the baby. 0:14:25.493 --> 0:14:25.733 Yep. 0:14:26.133 --> 0:14:27.733 What did you name the baby? 0:14:28.013 --> 0:14:28.413 Megan? 0:14:28.893 --> 0:14:32.733 And when did you decide I can do. 0:14:32.613 --> 0:14:33.973 This straight away? 0:14:34.333 --> 0:14:35.093 When you saw her? 0:14:35.413 --> 0:14:35.653 Yep? 0:14:35.893 --> 0:14:38.413 Can you describe what that felt like, the moment that 0:14:38.573 --> 0:14:41.213 you're staring into this face going, I don't know where 0:14:41.253 --> 0:14:44.813 you came from, but is there that initial connection? 0:14:45.293 --> 0:14:45.773 Yeah? 0:14:45.933 --> 0:14:49.373 Definitely it was a bit like, oh gosh, how do 0:14:49.453 --> 0:14:51.413 I hold a baby? Yeah, after you just had it 0:14:51.493 --> 0:14:54.933 and you're still, you know, having someone fix up your blows. 0:14:55.453 --> 0:14:59.333 But yeah, just staring at her, I thought, Okay, I 0:14:59.373 --> 0:15:03.133 can do this. I can this is my new life challenge. 0:15:06.133 --> 0:15:10.973 And the next few months you're obviously the first in 0:15:11.013 --> 0:15:12.453 your group of friends to have a baby. 0:15:12.493 --> 0:15:12.693 Yeah. 0:15:12.693 --> 0:15:14.693 I would imagine even with your sister and stuff, that 0:15:14.893 --> 0:15:16.373 wasn't you know, on the cards yet. 0:15:16.573 --> 0:15:16.773 Yeah. 0:15:17.333 --> 0:15:20.053 Do you look back on those months as predominantly challenging 0:15:20.253 --> 0:15:22.413 or predominantly amazing or both? 0:15:22.813 --> 0:15:26.773 Probably a bit of both, because it was also at 0:15:26.813 --> 0:15:30.413 a time where weird or just finished school. It was 0:15:30.453 --> 0:15:34.293 all about going out on the weekends and I wasn't 0:15:34.333 --> 0:15:38.613 able to do that, So in that sense it was challenging, 0:15:38.693 --> 0:15:40.253 but it was I don't want to say the word 0:15:40.293 --> 0:15:42.333 that I was sad, or depressed about it. I was 0:15:42.373 --> 0:15:44.893 just like, Okay, that's fine, I can't do that stuff. 0:15:45.413 --> 0:15:47.293 But then I would always go, well, you know what, 0:15:47.413 --> 0:15:50.613 I've actually, you know, now, got this little human that's 0:15:50.653 --> 0:15:54.333 relying on me. So when you weigh it up, well 0:15:54.413 --> 0:15:56.733 let me go out and get drunk. Well stay at 0:15:56.733 --> 0:15:59.813 home with a little human. But yeah, that's right that 0:15:59.853 --> 0:16:01.693 you can just sort of, you know, snuggle with and 0:16:01.933 --> 0:16:04.973 just stare at and and the getting up three or 0:16:05.013 --> 0:16:06.933 four times during the night. You just sort of go, okay, 0:16:07.493 --> 0:16:09.453 well I might have been getting home at this time anyway. 0:16:09.613 --> 0:16:14.013 So from those friends and from the community you were 0:16:14.013 --> 0:16:17.093 saying that the word kind of spread like wildfire. At 0:16:17.133 --> 0:16:21.373 any point, did you feel judged by people? 0:16:21.613 --> 0:16:22.973 Yeah, definitely. 0:16:23.093 --> 0:16:26.373 Were there comments or yeah there were comments. There were 0:16:26.373 --> 0:16:30.133 comments from friends that were like, she's just ruined a life. 0:16:30.133 --> 0:16:32.133 And how did you respond to that kind of stuff? 0:16:32.293 --> 0:16:33.693 I still respond to that stuff. 0:16:33.813 --> 0:16:36.013 So this day, you know, I still have that in 0:16:36.053 --> 0:16:38.853 the back of my mind that I'm going to prove 0:16:39.293 --> 0:16:43.373 that you can actually do this, and I have. I've 0:16:43.453 --> 0:16:45.813 had a great career and I've still got a great career. 0:16:45.853 --> 0:16:49.013 I've got a great daughter who's turned out to be fantastic. 0:16:49.773 --> 0:16:52.653 And some of these people that made these comments are 0:16:52.653 --> 0:16:56.013 still in that insular world of where they are and 0:16:56.053 --> 0:16:59.773 they haven't changed a lot. And I've you know, traveled 0:16:59.813 --> 0:17:01.053 the world with my daughter. 0:17:01.453 --> 0:17:01.853 Hmmm. 0:17:02.293 --> 0:17:05.733 So it's definitely been comments. And I know, like people 0:17:05.773 --> 0:17:08.733 probably you know, said way much more that I didn't 0:17:08.773 --> 0:17:11.812 hear about. But yeah, there was some comments that I 0:17:11.853 --> 0:17:13.973 was like, you know what, I'll prove you wrong. 0:17:14.973 --> 0:17:18.052 Sometimes you need that can start a little fire in 0:17:18.052 --> 0:17:18.373 your back. 0:17:18.532 --> 0:17:21.132 Yeah, and it did because I thought, no, I'm not 0:17:21.173 --> 0:17:25.893 gonna let having a child when you didn't know ruin 0:17:25.973 --> 0:17:28.413 your career. You can still have a career, and you know, 0:17:28.453 --> 0:17:30.173 it might just take a little bit longer to get 0:17:30.253 --> 0:17:31.733 to the point where you need it to get to. 0:17:31.853 --> 0:17:35.213 And it was hard, like when she was younger trying 0:17:35.253 --> 0:17:38.693 to still work, but I managed it. 0:17:39.893 --> 0:17:40.453 Yeah. 0:17:40.493 --> 0:17:41.813 And how old is your daughter now? 0:17:42.053 --> 0:17:45.373 She's twenty one, she turns twenty two in June. 0:17:46.253 --> 0:17:49.493 Can she believe that at nineteen you were caring for 0:17:49.533 --> 0:17:50.053 a baby. 0:17:50.213 --> 0:17:50.373 No? 0:17:51.533 --> 0:17:53.733 Do you look at her and just go, oh, my goodness, 0:17:53.853 --> 0:17:54.133 I go. 0:17:54.093 --> 0:17:58.013 Thank goodness, you don't have a child. Yeah. 0:17:58.053 --> 0:18:00.333 And as you were bringing her up, especially in those 0:18:00.373 --> 0:18:03.292 early years, were your parents instrumental and sort of helping 0:18:03.333 --> 0:18:04.213 out with ay around. 0:18:04.413 --> 0:18:05.813 Yeah, yeah, they were great. 0:18:05.973 --> 0:18:09.292 So both my parents, both my sisters, my extended family, 0:18:09.333 --> 0:18:12.773 and my meeting just fantastic. So my parents are divorced, 0:18:13.253 --> 0:18:17.413 and I think by me having Meg it made them 0:18:18.373 --> 0:18:22.173 have a relationship still s we were one then maybe 0:18:22.373 --> 0:18:24.173 they wouldn't have had if I didn't have Meg. 0:18:24.893 --> 0:18:26.693 It's sort of kept us close. 0:18:26.853 --> 0:18:29.373 We have always been a close family, but it's definitely 0:18:29.373 --> 0:18:30.733 brought everyone closer together. 0:18:30.893 --> 0:18:32.453 And it's babies do that. 0:18:32.933 --> 0:18:35.653 Yeah, and everyone can agree that babies are great. 0:18:35.813 --> 0:18:38.733 Yes, that's exactly right. It was lovely because it was, 0:18:38.853 --> 0:18:41.773 you know, a surprise. Everyone had to adjust. It wasn't 0:18:41.813 --> 0:18:44.373 just me that had to adjust. I've you know, both 0:18:44.453 --> 0:18:46.933 my mum and dad and my sisters and we all 0:18:46.973 --> 0:18:50.373 had to adjust to having just now this you know, 0:18:50.493 --> 0:18:51.573 precious little baby. 0:18:51.933 --> 0:18:56.213 And yeah, oh that is just the most incredible story. Finally, 0:18:56.293 --> 0:19:00.332 I wanted to ask, what did that experience teach you 0:19:00.453 --> 0:19:04.293 about birth? Because there are people who wouldn't believe that 0:19:04.293 --> 0:19:07.133