1 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:14,165 Speaker 1: You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast. 2 00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:18,285 Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and 3 00:00:18,325 --> 00:00:20,645 Speaker 2: waters that this podcast is recorded on. 4 00:00:27,405 --> 00:00:32,005 Speaker 3: Haylee Bieber broke the Internet again. Jennifer Aniston shared something 5 00:00:32,005 --> 00:00:34,405 Speaker 3: that no one saw coming, and do you have a 6 00:00:34,485 --> 00:00:37,965 Speaker 3: favorite kid? Because no one wants to admit it, but shit, 7 00:00:38,045 --> 00:00:41,765 Speaker 3: it can really do some damage. This is Parenting out Loud, 8 00:00:41,805 --> 00:00:45,085 Speaker 3: the parenting podcast for people who don't listen to parenting podcasts. 9 00:00:45,125 --> 00:00:48,565 Speaker 2: I'm want Eat Bowley, I'm Amelia Lester, and I'm Stacy Hicks. 10 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:51,565 Speaker 3: Thoughts and prayers for anyone dealing with a sugar come 11 00:00:51,645 --> 00:00:53,805 Speaker 3: down post Halloween. How is your Halloween night? 12 00:00:54,205 --> 00:00:56,285 Speaker 4: It does feel a little bit like I remember after 13 00:00:56,325 --> 00:00:58,765 Speaker 4: I got married. I felt a little flat in the 14 00:00:58,845 --> 00:01:01,485 Speaker 4: days afterwards because I've been looking forward to it so much. 15 00:01:01,725 --> 00:01:02,765 Speaker 5: And I sort of see. 16 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,604 Speaker 4: The same thing in kids after Halloween, just a sense 17 00:01:05,645 --> 00:01:08,245 Speaker 4: of I put on my special clothes, I have my 18 00:01:08,365 --> 00:01:09,085 Speaker 4: special night. 19 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,444 Speaker 5: What is that a look for to now? The answer 20 00:01:11,524 --> 00:01:13,525 Speaker 5: is Christmas. Yeah, it's not far away. 21 00:01:14,485 --> 00:01:17,684 Speaker 3: Hey, it's been a massive week for celebrity honesty in 22 00:01:17,725 --> 00:01:20,285 Speaker 3: the parenting department. So what have we seen? 23 00:01:20,365 --> 00:01:22,484 Speaker 5: Stacy Hailey Bieber has done it again. 24 00:01:22,725 --> 00:01:26,444 Speaker 2: My unlikely parenting guru said the thing that no celebrities 25 00:01:26,485 --> 00:01:28,804 Speaker 2: ever want to seem to admit on the In Your 26 00:01:28,884 --> 00:01:29,964 Speaker 2: Dream podcast, I. 27 00:01:29,925 --> 00:01:30,444 Speaker 5: Do have help. 28 00:01:30,485 --> 00:01:33,804 Speaker 1: I have full time help, and I'm super not ashamed 29 00:01:33,845 --> 00:01:35,765 Speaker 1: to say that, and I would never shy away from 30 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:38,444 Speaker 1: talking about that because I wouldn't be able to have 31 00:01:38,684 --> 00:01:40,365 Speaker 1: my career and do the things that I do without 32 00:01:40,524 --> 00:01:40,845 Speaker 1: the help. 33 00:01:40,845 --> 00:01:42,084 Speaker 5: And I feel really grateful for that. 34 00:01:42,324 --> 00:01:43,285 Speaker 2: Thank you, Hailey. 35 00:01:43,964 --> 00:01:45,685 Speaker 3: Do you know if you had said to me maybe 36 00:01:45,725 --> 00:01:48,325 Speaker 3: four weeks ago, Hailey Beba, this Hailey Beb, that I 37 00:01:48,405 --> 00:01:51,885 Speaker 3: would say to you, who like? Who is Hailey Baber? 38 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,885 Speaker 3: I had no idea, And now I feel like every 39 00:01:53,925 --> 00:01:57,605 Speaker 3: single week she says something that I'm like, thank God, 40 00:01:57,845 --> 00:02:00,525 Speaker 3: someone is saying this. Someone who's cool, someone who's influential, 41 00:02:00,645 --> 00:02:03,124 Speaker 3: someone who's really powerful is saying these things. 42 00:02:03,525 --> 00:02:03,764 Speaker 1: Yeah. 43 00:02:03,805 --> 00:02:06,245 Speaker 4: I loved it and it was interesting because I first 44 00:02:06,245 --> 00:02:10,805 Speaker 4: came across it on People Magazines, Instagram, went for a 45 00:02:10,925 --> 00:02:15,565 Speaker 4: real Journey. A lot of people are angry at Haley 46 00:02:15,565 --> 00:02:19,365 Speaker 4: Beaber for admitting that she has helped unclear why, but 47 00:02:19,445 --> 00:02:22,525 Speaker 4: then the top comment really restored by faith in humanity 48 00:02:22,565 --> 00:02:24,845 Speaker 4: and was such a good point too. Someone wrote, people 49 00:02:24,885 --> 00:02:27,165 Speaker 4: be like it takes a village to raise a child, 50 00:02:27,525 --> 00:02:31,645 Speaker 4: but then get mad when they see someone with a village. 51 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:34,125 Speaker 2: Exactly, And I think it's a good reminder to us 52 00:02:34,245 --> 00:02:37,325 Speaker 2: that celebrities can do all the things they do because 53 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:39,205 Speaker 2: they're not parenting in the same way as we are. 54 00:02:39,245 --> 00:02:41,605 Speaker 2: They can hire a village, and that's a good reminder. 55 00:02:41,925 --> 00:02:44,445 Speaker 3: The other comment that I loved on this was why 56 00:02:44,445 --> 00:02:46,125 Speaker 3: does some people think that to be a good mother 57 00:02:46,205 --> 00:02:48,605 Speaker 3: you have to suffer? Like It's been proven that kid's 58 00:02:48,605 --> 00:02:50,925 Speaker 3: success in life is linked to their mother's happiness, So 59 00:02:50,965 --> 00:02:54,285 Speaker 3: why wouldn't we want to have like happy, rested, healthy mums. 60 00:02:54,765 --> 00:02:57,725 Speaker 3: From one surprising admission to another, did you see what 61 00:02:57,805 --> 00:03:01,525 Speaker 3: Jennifer Aniston said this week on the Dak's Shepherd podcast. 62 00:03:01,725 --> 00:03:02,805 Speaker 5: It is so good? 63 00:03:03,045 --> 00:03:05,965 Speaker 6: People say, but you can adopt. I don't want to adopt. Yeah, 64 00:03:06,685 --> 00:03:09,725 Speaker 6: I want my own DNA and a little person. Yes, 65 00:03:09,965 --> 00:03:12,925 Speaker 6: And that's the only way selfish or not whatever that is. 66 00:03:13,325 --> 00:03:16,645 Speaker 6: I wanted it to. But is there the moments of 67 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:20,005 Speaker 6: when you meet someone and you go, God, we would. 68 00:03:19,845 --> 00:03:20,885 Speaker 2: Have made some good kids. 69 00:03:20,965 --> 00:03:24,805 Speaker 3: Yes, I almost snapped my achilles. Running to the comments 70 00:03:24,845 --> 00:03:28,765 Speaker 3: section of this, I was like, she's going to get reamed, 71 00:03:28,885 --> 00:03:31,125 Speaker 3: She's going to be canceled for saying this thing, which 72 00:03:31,165 --> 00:03:35,485 Speaker 3: is so honest and like incredibly shockingly slapped in the 73 00:03:35,525 --> 00:03:37,325 Speaker 3: face honest from a celebrity. 74 00:03:37,525 --> 00:03:40,445 Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels like the thing that we're not allowed 75 00:03:40,525 --> 00:03:42,965 Speaker 2: to say. Like, I don't think I've ever heard anyone 76 00:03:43,045 --> 00:03:45,685 Speaker 2: be as blunt and cut and dry about their decision 77 00:03:45,765 --> 00:03:47,525 Speaker 2: to not want to look into adoption. 78 00:03:47,765 --> 00:03:48,885 Speaker 5: I have the exact same reaction. 79 00:03:48,965 --> 00:03:52,845 Speaker 4: But then you mentioned that adoption advocates and experts say 80 00:03:52,925 --> 00:03:56,205 Speaker 4: that this is the correct way to talk about adoption. Yeah. 81 00:03:56,245 --> 00:03:59,685 Speaker 2: Absolutely. I loved what was happening in the comment section. 82 00:03:59,805 --> 00:04:02,205 Speaker 2: Unlike the other comment section on Hailey be but this 83 00:04:02,245 --> 00:04:06,325 Speaker 2: one was surprisingly insightful and so many people really praising 84 00:04:06,365 --> 00:04:09,325 Speaker 2: her for saying this because they said adoption is not 85 00:04:09,445 --> 00:04:13,125 Speaker 2: a band aid for fertility. This shouldn't be your last resort. 86 00:04:13,365 --> 00:04:16,284 Speaker 2: And my favorite comment that I saw in there was 87 00:04:16,284 --> 00:04:19,325 Speaker 2: from someone saying everyone who thinks she should adopt should 88 00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:22,085 Speaker 2: go and adopt themselves. You don't have to be infertile 89 00:04:22,165 --> 00:04:24,205 Speaker 2: to do it. It's an act of love, not a 90 00:04:24,325 --> 00:04:27,005 Speaker 2: last resort. And so I kind of looked into this 91 00:04:27,085 --> 00:04:30,245 Speaker 2: to be like, what do the experts say around adoption 92 00:04:30,325 --> 00:04:32,125 Speaker 2: and the reasons you do it, then, like, if that's 93 00:04:32,165 --> 00:04:34,485 Speaker 2: not the main reason people are doing it, and they 94 00:04:34,485 --> 00:04:38,404 Speaker 2: say that adoptions for the child's welfare, not the parent's needs. 95 00:04:38,485 --> 00:04:40,085 Speaker 2: So if you're using it as a way to move 96 00:04:40,085 --> 00:04:43,205 Speaker 2: on from infertility, then that's very much the wrong reason. 97 00:04:43,285 --> 00:04:46,525 Speaker 2: And they recommend that you fully grieve the infertility period 98 00:04:46,525 --> 00:04:49,885 Speaker 2: of your life before you even consider adoption. So it 99 00:04:49,965 --> 00:04:52,365 Speaker 2: needs to come from a place of wanting to change 100 00:04:52,365 --> 00:04:54,964 Speaker 2: a child's life, because it's not an easy path. 101 00:04:55,365 --> 00:04:58,565 Speaker 4: I'm also loving that Jennifer Aniston, at this stage in 102 00:04:58,605 --> 00:05:04,365 Speaker 4: her life and career, is speaking so candidly about what 103 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,965 Speaker 4: was clearly in retrospect a very painful period of her 104 00:05:08,005 --> 00:05:11,805 Speaker 4: life when there was so much tableau speculation about why 105 00:05:11,885 --> 00:05:14,485 Speaker 4: she wasn't having children and maybe that was the end 106 00:05:14,485 --> 00:05:16,685 Speaker 4: of her marriage with Brad Pitt, for instance, Well maybe 107 00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:19,245 Speaker 4: that's why justin throw finally took his leather jackets and 108 00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:22,125 Speaker 4: walked off into the sunset, When what we know now 109 00:05:22,285 --> 00:05:25,805 Speaker 4: is that she desperately wanted to have children, and that 110 00:05:25,805 --> 00:05:28,125 Speaker 4: that is a sadness in her life that it didn't happen, 111 00:05:28,685 --> 00:05:34,085 Speaker 4: And there's just something so admirable about being able to 112 00:05:34,165 --> 00:05:37,685 Speaker 4: speak about the most difficult parts of your life in 113 00:05:37,725 --> 00:05:40,365 Speaker 4: that way. Yeah, it probably helps someone else who's going 114 00:05:40,365 --> 00:05:40,645 Speaker 4: through it. 115 00:05:40,765 --> 00:05:40,925 Speaker 7: Yeah. 116 00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:43,325 Speaker 2: I think she's the perfect example of speaking from the 117 00:05:43,365 --> 00:05:46,085 Speaker 2: scar not the wound. Like she has not spoken about 118 00:05:46,085 --> 00:05:48,485 Speaker 2: this really at all over the years, and rightly so. 119 00:05:49,005 --> 00:05:50,885 Speaker 2: But it feels like now she's in that place where 120 00:05:50,965 --> 00:05:53,325 Speaker 2: that window has very much shut for her. She feels 121 00:05:53,365 --> 00:05:55,565 Speaker 2: completely content, and she goes on in that interview to 122 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,245 Speaker 2: say when there are periods like she said, oh, we 123 00:05:58,285 --> 00:06:00,765 Speaker 2: would have made a good kid, She said, it passes 124 00:06:00,845 --> 00:06:03,284 Speaker 2: in a couple of seconds, that sadness goes, and that 125 00:06:03,365 --> 00:06:05,525 Speaker 2: she has a peaceful life and feels like it was 126 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:06,445 Speaker 2: the right choice for her. 127 00:06:06,685 --> 00:06:09,885 Speaker 3: What do you mean by saying talk from the scar, 128 00:06:10,005 --> 00:06:12,445 Speaker 3: not the world wound? Can you explain that? Yeah. 129 00:06:12,765 --> 00:06:14,805 Speaker 2: I think if she'd spoken about this as she was 130 00:06:14,845 --> 00:06:18,445 Speaker 2: going through the infertility journey, her emotions around it probably 131 00:06:18,485 --> 00:06:20,805 Speaker 2: would have been very raw, and she might have said 132 00:06:20,805 --> 00:06:23,165 Speaker 2: things that she regretted at that point about what she 133 00:06:23,205 --> 00:06:25,365 Speaker 2: wanted to do. I think now she's at a point 134 00:06:25,365 --> 00:06:28,725 Speaker 2: where she'd probably feel very resolved in her decision, like 135 00:06:28,765 --> 00:06:30,365 Speaker 2: it was the right decision for her. And so she 136 00:06:30,405 --> 00:06:32,525 Speaker 2: can speak about it in hindsight in a way that's 137 00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:35,165 Speaker 2: probably much more useful for people to hear. And I 138 00:06:35,205 --> 00:06:38,125 Speaker 2: loved that lots of people were saying, I've adopted and 139 00:06:38,285 --> 00:06:40,125 Speaker 2: that was the right choice for me. But I respect 140 00:06:40,125 --> 00:06:42,605 Speaker 2: her for knowing her limits and going this wasn't right. 141 00:06:42,765 --> 00:06:44,685 Speaker 2: That's not the path I want to take, and that's okay. 142 00:06:45,045 --> 00:06:49,285 Speaker 4: And also equally for people who choose adoption regardless of 143 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:52,805 Speaker 4: their fertility status, it's a nice affirmation of why they 144 00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:53,404 Speaker 4: do what they do. 145 00:06:55,125 --> 00:06:57,445 Speaker 3: I want to talk about something that's quite a parental tobo, 146 00:06:57,725 --> 00:06:59,445 Speaker 3: and I want you both to keep an open mind 147 00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:02,925 Speaker 3: on this. Okay, are you the favorite child? Or did 148 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:08,245 Speaker 3: your parents have one and it wasn't you? Because parental 149 00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:12,085 Speaker 3: favoritism it might just be the last parenting taboo. Every 150 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:16,405 Speaker 3: parent swears they love their kids equally, and yet and 151 00:07:16,485 --> 00:07:20,965 Speaker 3: yet studies show that two thirds of families have a 152 00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:24,045 Speaker 3: hidden favorite, and the way they treat that child compared 153 00:07:24,045 --> 00:07:26,885 Speaker 3: to their siblings I have a really long lasting impact. 154 00:07:27,045 --> 00:07:29,485 Speaker 3: So you might be listening to this thinking I don't 155 00:07:29,485 --> 00:07:33,005 Speaker 3: have a favorite, not me. I don't. When my kids ask, 156 00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:36,165 Speaker 3: I say, I love you all equally. But the science 157 00:07:36,245 --> 00:07:38,285 Speaker 3: can be really subtle. So I've got a little quiz 158 00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:41,005 Speaker 3: for listeners to answer as they're listening to this. I'm 159 00:07:41,005 --> 00:07:44,205 Speaker 3: calling it, does your family have a favorite? It's based 160 00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:47,885 Speaker 3: on actual research into parental favoritism. So as you're listening 161 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:49,525 Speaker 3: to this, I want you to think about the family 162 00:07:49,565 --> 00:07:51,605 Speaker 3: that you grew up in and just answer in your 163 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:54,365 Speaker 3: head yes or no. Did one of you get hugged 164 00:07:54,445 --> 00:07:57,605 Speaker 3: or praised more than the others. Did one of you 165 00:07:57,685 --> 00:08:01,645 Speaker 3: get punished harder when things went wrong? Did one of 166 00:08:01,685 --> 00:08:03,485 Speaker 3: you make your parents. 167 00:08:03,205 --> 00:08:05,645 Speaker 5: Laugh more that one's so good? 168 00:08:05,965 --> 00:08:08,325 Speaker 3: Was there someone who got away with things because they 169 00:08:08,325 --> 00:08:13,405 Speaker 3: were sensitive? Did our parents celebrate one sibling's achievements a 170 00:08:13,445 --> 00:08:16,765 Speaker 3: little bit louder than the others? Is one of you 171 00:08:17,125 --> 00:08:20,565 Speaker 3: more like your mum or dad in personality or temperament? 172 00:08:21,445 --> 00:08:25,645 Speaker 3: And when money or help like babysitting or advice or 173 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,045 Speaker 3: handout is on the table, does one of you get 174 00:08:29,045 --> 00:08:33,205 Speaker 3: it first? Now, if you answered yes to any of 175 00:08:33,245 --> 00:08:38,205 Speaker 3: these congratulations, your family probably had a favorite. Amelia. It's 176 00:08:38,365 --> 00:08:42,445 Speaker 3: really really subtle. It's these tiny little moments. But what 177 00:08:42,685 --> 00:08:44,485 Speaker 3: happens when parents play favorites? 178 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:47,485 Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right that this is really something that's so 179 00:08:47,885 --> 00:08:51,325 Speaker 4: hard to talk about. And that's the first thing experts 180 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:55,445 Speaker 4: say is we're not talking about this, but we need 181 00:08:55,485 --> 00:09:00,325 Speaker 4: to be because it's ubiquitous and it affects family dynamics. 182 00:09:00,445 --> 00:09:03,005 Speaker 4: So by not talking about it or actually making the 183 00:09:03,045 --> 00:09:06,724 Speaker 4: effects worse, and the effects are really weird and surprising. 184 00:09:07,165 --> 00:09:08,485 Speaker 4: One of the things that wele in my mind when 185 00:09:08,525 --> 00:09:10,565 Speaker 4: digging into this is that it's not just the one 186 00:09:10,645 --> 00:09:13,805 Speaker 4: who's not the favorite who misses out. The favorite has 187 00:09:13,805 --> 00:09:17,605 Speaker 4: some detrimental impacts from being the favorite. And one study 188 00:09:17,605 --> 00:09:20,485 Speaker 4: which really stood out to me from researchers in China, 189 00:09:20,645 --> 00:09:24,925 Speaker 4: found that parental favoritism is a positive indicator for mobile 190 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,684 Speaker 4: phone addiction as an adolescent, So in other words, if 191 00:09:27,685 --> 00:09:30,645 Speaker 4: you were the favorite, you are more likely to develop 192 00:09:30,765 --> 00:09:34,765 Speaker 4: a mobile phone addiction in adolescence. And another that blew 193 00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:38,285 Speaker 4: my mind is that maternal favoritism is an indicator for 194 00:09:38,405 --> 00:09:43,245 Speaker 4: depression in adulthood. And the reason experts think is because 195 00:09:43,285 --> 00:09:47,005 Speaker 4: it creates tension with other siblings and that tension enduers 196 00:09:47,165 --> 00:09:51,125 Speaker 4: for decades beyond childhood. But I don't want people to 197 00:09:51,165 --> 00:09:53,805 Speaker 4: feel hopeless when they hear that, because even though as 198 00:09:53,845 --> 00:09:57,845 Speaker 4: you've mentioned, mones, it's an incredibly widespread phenomenon. The point 199 00:09:58,045 --> 00:10:00,485 Speaker 4: is that we need to start being aware of the 200 00:10:00,525 --> 00:10:03,365 Speaker 4: impact it's having. We can never avoid it, and we 201 00:10:03,445 --> 00:10:05,725 Speaker 4: certainly can't change it if we did grow up in 202 00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:08,485 Speaker 4: a household where we felt that another child was the 203 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,405 Speaker 4: favorite or that we were the favorite. 204 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,405 Speaker 5: But being aware of it is the key. 205 00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:15,165 Speaker 2: And it's interesting what you say, like, I think a 206 00:10:15,245 --> 00:10:18,445 Speaker 2: favorite probably isn't set either. I think you probably can 207 00:10:18,565 --> 00:10:22,245 Speaker 2: have a favorite. The changes as you enter different life stages. 208 00:10:22,285 --> 00:10:25,804 Speaker 2: But there's a lot of research around similarity bias, and 209 00:10:26,005 --> 00:10:27,964 Speaker 2: it shows that if you have multiple children and that 210 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:31,365 Speaker 2: one's more similar to you, whether that's their temperament or 211 00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:34,605 Speaker 2: their interests, that does draw you closer to that child 212 00:10:34,725 --> 00:10:37,885 Speaker 2: because you know how to parent that type of person 213 00:10:37,925 --> 00:10:40,204 Speaker 2: because you are that type of person. So that's often 214 00:10:40,205 --> 00:10:42,765 Speaker 2: what they say around, Oh they're a mini me, Like, 215 00:10:43,285 --> 00:10:45,485 Speaker 2: it's the one that is more similar to you. It's 216 00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:47,444 Speaker 2: probably the one that you feel a bit more ease 217 00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:50,125 Speaker 2: in parenting, And it's not just the oldest. 218 00:10:50,205 --> 00:10:52,684 Speaker 4: I think we sometimes assume that the oldest child is 219 00:10:52,725 --> 00:10:55,405 Speaker 4: the golden child and is therefore more likely to be 220 00:10:55,485 --> 00:10:58,005 Speaker 4: the favorite. But apparently this is not what the studies 221 00:10:58,045 --> 00:11:01,085 Speaker 4: show because that key indicator is whether or not the 222 00:11:01,205 --> 00:11:02,205 Speaker 4: child is like you. 223 00:11:02,725 --> 00:11:06,085 Speaker 3: Yes, it's not gender either, it's not mum's loving sons 224 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:09,165 Speaker 3: or whatever. It is the key indicator, as you said, Stacy, 225 00:11:09,245 --> 00:11:12,285 Speaker 3: it's that bias there. There's also a stress factor in 226 00:11:12,325 --> 00:11:15,005 Speaker 3: the research where it shows that parents who are under 227 00:11:15,285 --> 00:11:19,445 Speaker 3: high stress inadvertently give less warmth to children who are 228 00:11:19,485 --> 00:11:23,804 Speaker 3: sort of high needs or who demand attention or more regulation. 229 00:11:24,045 --> 00:11:26,925 Speaker 3: And so the effect of that is that the difficult 230 00:11:27,085 --> 00:11:32,565 Speaker 3: child can often become the scapegoat in family dynamics. So yeah, 231 00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:35,925 Speaker 3: and as you said, Amelia, like everyone assumes that it's 232 00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:39,365 Speaker 3: great to be the golden child, but the research says 233 00:11:39,605 --> 00:11:42,324 Speaker 3: that is not the case. Like these favored kids carry 234 00:11:42,365 --> 00:11:46,485 Speaker 3: more guilt, feel more pressure, and have this lifelong need 235 00:11:46,525 --> 00:11:49,325 Speaker 3: to sort of keep performing to earn that love. I 236 00:11:49,325 --> 00:11:52,365 Speaker 3: think what's what was fascinating to me in this entire 237 00:11:52,485 --> 00:11:54,565 Speaker 3: research that we did around this is how tiny the 238 00:11:54,565 --> 00:11:58,005 Speaker 3: differences are. So I was listening to the Michelle Obama 239 00:11:58,045 --> 00:12:01,725 Speaker 3: podcast this week. It's called IMO if you haven't heard it, 240 00:12:01,965 --> 00:12:05,325 Speaker 3: she makes a rule where she doesn't talk about grades 241 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:06,645 Speaker 3: at the dinner table. Have a listen. 242 00:12:06,925 --> 00:12:09,725 Speaker 7: I needed a point not to talk about greedes at 243 00:12:09,725 --> 00:12:12,765 Speaker 7: the dinner tea just because you know, it's like, let's 244 00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:15,684 Speaker 7: talk about school. Yeah, but when we talk about grades 245 00:12:15,765 --> 00:12:18,525 Speaker 7: or scores, you know, I was always sensitive, what if 246 00:12:18,525 --> 00:12:21,525 Speaker 7: the other one's not doing greed and we are rewarding 247 00:12:21,565 --> 00:12:24,685 Speaker 7: and cheering an A when the other one might be 248 00:12:24,725 --> 00:12:27,645 Speaker 7: getting a C. And that's you know, and then you 249 00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:31,965 Speaker 7: set up you know, competitions, some kind of measure unintentionally. 250 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:35,324 Speaker 3: And I think that's how this sort of subtle favoritism 251 00:12:35,445 --> 00:12:38,684 Speaker 3: can sometimes show up. It's not in like grand declarations 252 00:12:38,765 --> 00:12:40,925 Speaker 3: like you get a car when you turn eighteen, or 253 00:12:41,605 --> 00:12:45,165 Speaker 3: it's just in these microme moments like who we comfort, 254 00:12:45,285 --> 00:12:48,685 Speaker 3: who we praise, who we laugh at, who gets the 255 00:12:48,725 --> 00:12:51,005 Speaker 3: benefit of the doubt in a fight. Like these little 256 00:12:51,085 --> 00:12:54,165 Speaker 3: tiny moments to a child seem quite big and they 257 00:12:54,245 --> 00:12:56,285 Speaker 3: kind of tell this story about where they stand. 258 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:59,205 Speaker 4: The interesting thing is that when we first started talking 259 00:12:59,205 --> 00:13:03,765 Speaker 4: about this topic, Stacy, you said, well, that's not relevant 260 00:13:03,805 --> 00:13:06,525 Speaker 4: to me because I only have one child, as you've 261 00:13:06,565 --> 00:13:10,285 Speaker 4: spoken about on this podcast. What I think people will 262 00:13:10,565 --> 00:13:14,285 Speaker 4: take away from this is that the patterns of your 263 00:13:14,405 --> 00:13:17,685 Speaker 4: childhood are likely to repeat in the way that you parent, 264 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,885 Speaker 4: so even if you only have one child, if you 265 00:13:20,965 --> 00:13:25,365 Speaker 4: grew up with siblings, there were certain biases and patterns 266 00:13:25,365 --> 00:13:27,925 Speaker 4: of behavior that you learned from your parents to do 267 00:13:28,045 --> 00:13:31,685 Speaker 4: with your sibling dynamic that will invariably shape how you 268 00:13:31,885 --> 00:13:32,685 Speaker 4: parent as well. 269 00:13:32,805 --> 00:13:36,205 Speaker 2: Yeah, and do you think the favoritism ever gets misconstrued? 270 00:13:36,245 --> 00:13:38,804 Speaker 2: Because I was thinking about families like as you say, Mons, 271 00:13:38,805 --> 00:13:41,725 Speaker 2: where there's one child that might be high needs or 272 00:13:41,925 --> 00:13:45,045 Speaker 2: be a deeply feeling kid. The other sibling may view 273 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:48,005 Speaker 2: that because that child needs more attention as them being 274 00:13:48,045 --> 00:13:51,285 Speaker 2: the favorite, when really the parent may prefer the ease 275 00:13:51,525 --> 00:13:54,685 Speaker 2: of the other child. So it's interesting that we all 276 00:13:54,805 --> 00:13:56,925 Speaker 2: kind of probably clearly have a thought in our head 277 00:13:56,925 --> 00:13:58,925 Speaker 2: over who the favorite was in our family from that 278 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:01,525 Speaker 2: quiz you did, Mons, but that might not actually be 279 00:14:01,605 --> 00:14:02,005 Speaker 2: the case. 280 00:14:02,365 --> 00:14:05,365 Speaker 3: I'm just actually conscious that this discussion, listening to it 281 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,885 Speaker 3: now makes me feel bad. I'm like, oh, for God's sake, 282 00:14:08,925 --> 00:14:11,325 Speaker 3: here's another thing that I'm doing wrong, like another thing 283 00:14:11,445 --> 00:14:13,805 Speaker 3: that I'm going to be screwing my kids up over. 284 00:14:13,885 --> 00:14:15,965 Speaker 3: But I don't want that to be the case. I think, 285 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:20,045 Speaker 3: as you said, Amelia, this is the great unspoken thing. 286 00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:22,165 Speaker 3: But maybe it's just that awareness is the first step. 287 00:14:22,205 --> 00:14:25,245 Speaker 3: Maybe we just need to be more like Michelle Obama 288 00:14:25,325 --> 00:14:26,605 Speaker 3: in the way that we talk to our kids and 289 00:14:26,645 --> 00:14:29,125 Speaker 3: just be conscious of what we're saying in those stories 290 00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:30,085 Speaker 3: that we're kind of telling them. 291 00:14:30,205 --> 00:14:31,205 Speaker 5: Are we messing them up? 292 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,405 Speaker 2: Though? If we have a favorite, like of course in 293 00:14:33,445 --> 00:14:35,485 Speaker 2: the more blatant ways, like if we were pulling a 294 00:14:35,565 --> 00:14:39,325 Speaker 2: Rupert Murdoch and like widely telling everyone that you know, 295 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:42,205 Speaker 2: Lachlan was our favorite, or Chris Jenna. She's gone on 296 00:14:42,245 --> 00:14:44,885 Speaker 2: the record several times saying that Kylie is her favorite. 297 00:14:44,965 --> 00:14:45,685 Speaker 5: MM. 298 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,965 Speaker 2: She says it rotates sometimes, but when she was asked 299 00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:51,325 Speaker 2: on a lie detector, she said Kylie and the lie 300 00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:55,325 Speaker 2: detector said, yep, that's correct. And she's the youngest in 301 00:14:55,365 --> 00:14:57,845 Speaker 2: the family. She's also made the most money out of 302 00:14:57,885 --> 00:15:01,525 Speaker 2: that family. So maybe that's why Chris prefers her. So 303 00:15:01,845 --> 00:15:05,045 Speaker 2: does it actually affect them, like, are the others struggling 304 00:15:05,125 --> 00:15:07,245 Speaker 2: because your parent has a favorite? 305 00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:10,005 Speaker 3: Yes, that's what the research is saying, but that's why 306 00:15:10,045 --> 00:15:10,325 Speaker 3: I don't. 307 00:15:11,205 --> 00:15:13,645 Speaker 5: But it's character building, monds, isn't it. 308 00:15:13,765 --> 00:15:15,965 Speaker 2: Like, you know, if you feel a little hard done 309 00:15:15,965 --> 00:15:17,965 Speaker 2: by in your family, maybe it is something that builds 310 00:15:17,965 --> 00:15:19,125 Speaker 2: a bit more resilience. 311 00:15:19,325 --> 00:15:22,565 Speaker 3: I know, but Stacey wear intense millennial parents. We are 312 00:15:22,605 --> 00:15:24,245 Speaker 3: so conscious of screwing our kids up. 313 00:15:24,285 --> 00:15:26,405 Speaker 4: Look, I think the point is to be aware, and 314 00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:28,885 Speaker 4: one way that you can even be aware of it 315 00:15:28,925 --> 00:15:31,445 Speaker 4: is outside of the family in the workplace. 316 00:15:31,645 --> 00:15:33,365 Speaker 5: That point you made minds. 317 00:15:33,205 --> 00:15:37,245 Speaker 4: That you're more likely to favorite someone who's like you 318 00:15:38,085 --> 00:15:41,965 Speaker 4: is equally true in workplace environments. People have found that 319 00:15:42,045 --> 00:15:45,965 Speaker 4: when people are hiring, managers tend to gravitate towards people 320 00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:49,285 Speaker 4: who look like them, behave like them, think like them, 321 00:15:49,765 --> 00:15:52,925 Speaker 4: and just like in a family situation, we've just got 322 00:15:52,965 --> 00:15:55,085 Speaker 4: to be aware of these biases that we all have. 323 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,605 Speaker 4: It's the same in the workplace. 324 00:15:56,765 --> 00:15:58,325 Speaker 2: Is that why you and I have both ended up 325 00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,885 Speaker 2: in matching blue shirts? Today? 326 00:16:00,165 --> 00:16:02,885 Speaker 4: We should explain to listeners that we're wearing the unofficial 327 00:16:03,205 --> 00:16:06,765 Speaker 4: Parenting podcast uniform of elastic waist pants and a blue 328 00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:07,805 Speaker 4: shirt with a French tuck. 329 00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:08,605 Speaker 5: We are, we are. 330 00:16:08,645 --> 00:16:12,125 Speaker 2: That's our bias and brown hair down the mum uniform. 331 00:16:13,645 --> 00:16:16,405 Speaker 3: Okay, guys, I think we're moving to the country because 332 00:16:16,605 --> 00:16:18,485 Speaker 3: this week I have two stories to bring to you 333 00:16:19,085 --> 00:16:22,325 Speaker 3: of country kids who did things so wholesome it's going 334 00:16:22,405 --> 00:16:25,605 Speaker 3: to make you book The movers and go to the bush. Okay, 335 00:16:25,645 --> 00:16:28,765 Speaker 3: this is my rural rap. Try saying that three times quickly. 336 00:16:29,285 --> 00:16:31,005 Speaker 5: Mon's r rap. I love it. 337 00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:35,325 Speaker 3: First up, ten year old Brock Knewett from Nadamook in 338 00:16:35,405 --> 00:16:38,725 Speaker 3: Country Victoria. Most ten year olds would be glued to Minecraft. 339 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,605 Speaker 3: Not Brock. He has his train collection, two hundred and 340 00:16:41,645 --> 00:16:44,925 Speaker 3: thirty five toy trains. He took them to the local pub. 341 00:16:45,525 --> 00:16:49,205 Speaker 3: He set up a display, and then he charged people 342 00:16:49,365 --> 00:16:51,685 Speaker 3: a gold coin to come and look at them. And 343 00:16:51,725 --> 00:16:54,085 Speaker 3: what did he do with the money? Pray tell? Did 344 00:16:54,125 --> 00:16:56,925 Speaker 3: he go and buy a PS five or whatever they're 345 00:16:56,925 --> 00:17:00,605 Speaker 3: doing nowadays? I don't know five. He took the eight 346 00:17:00,685 --> 00:17:03,165 Speaker 3: hundred and ten dollars that he raised and donated it 347 00:17:03,205 --> 00:17:08,244 Speaker 3: to the Royal Children's Hospital. Not even all right. And 348 00:17:08,284 --> 00:17:13,564 Speaker 3: then over in Country wa eleven year old Harry said 349 00:17:14,205 --> 00:17:17,205 Speaker 3: rock hold my beer. Because he was a bit bored 350 00:17:17,205 --> 00:17:19,045 Speaker 3: on the farm, so he went to the local tip 351 00:17:19,045 --> 00:17:21,925 Speaker 3: and he found a nineteen seventies land cruiser. Instead of 352 00:17:21,965 --> 00:17:24,245 Speaker 3: climbing in pretending to drive it like my kids would 353 00:17:24,285 --> 00:17:27,565 Speaker 3: have done, he took it home and restored the whole thing. 354 00:17:27,685 --> 00:17:29,725 Speaker 3: He apparently spent four hours a day on this thing, 355 00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:33,524 Speaker 3: like before school, after school, rebuilding the engine, painting it, 356 00:17:33,645 --> 00:17:36,645 Speaker 3: restoring it all via YouTube and some help from dad, 357 00:17:37,045 --> 00:17:39,004 Speaker 3: and then he won the People's Choice Award at the 358 00:17:39,005 --> 00:17:43,605 Speaker 3: Bruce Rock Show. I just our country kids just better. 359 00:17:43,925 --> 00:17:46,604 Speaker 4: There's absolutely something about this story of eleven year old 360 00:17:46,685 --> 00:17:50,365 Speaker 4: Harry restoring the nineteen seventies land cruiser, which as an 361 00:17:50,405 --> 00:17:54,405 Speaker 4: anxious city parent, I would absolutely pay for a school 362 00:17:54,484 --> 00:17:59,325 Speaker 4: holiday program where my kids did this, which is very 363 00:17:59,365 --> 00:18:02,564 Speaker 4: sad to admit that I'm having to enroll them in 364 00:18:02,645 --> 00:18:04,005 Speaker 4: programs where. 365 00:18:04,845 --> 00:18:06,605 Speaker 5: But we just don't know these things. 366 00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:08,845 Speaker 2: Like I love that he just was like, I'll just 367 00:18:08,925 --> 00:18:11,645 Speaker 2: teach myself, Like, how credible our. 368 00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:13,965 Speaker 4: Country kids better minds? You know more about the country 369 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:15,925 Speaker 4: than I do. Do you think that's true. 370 00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:18,405 Speaker 3: I think that's the romantic view of it. I think 371 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:23,245 Speaker 3: country kids also have difficulty accessing good health services, sometimes 372 00:18:23,365 --> 00:18:27,405 Speaker 3: educational services, so it's not all restoring land cruisers and 373 00:18:27,765 --> 00:18:31,205 Speaker 3: toy trains in the pub. You've talked before about biases 374 00:18:31,325 --> 00:18:33,845 Speaker 3: in the workplace, Amelia. If I see that someone has 375 00:18:34,165 --> 00:18:36,925 Speaker 3: grown up in the country, I am very heavily biased 376 00:18:36,925 --> 00:18:37,445 Speaker 3: towards them. 377 00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:40,885 Speaker 4: I don't think I'm overselling this, But this week was 378 00:18:40,925 --> 00:18:45,125 Speaker 4: the Millennial parenting moment of the year. It also happens 379 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:48,285 Speaker 4: to be my recommendation for the week, and it is 380 00:18:48,685 --> 00:18:52,804 Speaker 4: the New Yorker's profile of Jennifer Lawrence that dropped at 381 00:18:52,885 --> 00:18:56,125 Speaker 4: around ten pm Tuesday night, and which I have been 382 00:18:56,165 --> 00:18:57,564 Speaker 4: reading ever since. 383 00:18:58,245 --> 00:18:58,445 Speaker 5: Now. 384 00:18:58,484 --> 00:19:03,165 Speaker 3: It is it's long, right, it's eight thousand words. How 385 00:19:03,205 --> 00:19:04,405 Speaker 3: many times have you read it? 386 00:19:04,405 --> 00:19:06,885 Speaker 4: It honestly felt like eighty words to me. I think 387 00:19:06,925 --> 00:19:10,205 Speaker 4: I've read it maybe seven times. The profile is written 388 00:19:10,205 --> 00:19:14,965 Speaker 4: by Giatolentino, who is the author of the book Trick 389 00:19:15,085 --> 00:19:18,885 Speaker 4: Mirror and who has been probably the I think, the 390 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:22,685 Speaker 4: best writer on what the Internet is doing to our 391 00:19:22,685 --> 00:19:27,485 Speaker 4: brains of our generation. And she is profiling Jennifer Lawrence, 392 00:19:27,525 --> 00:19:30,445 Speaker 4: now thirty five, now a mother of two. She is 393 00:19:30,565 --> 00:19:34,645 Speaker 4: now the cool girl, all grown up. And we learn 394 00:19:34,805 --> 00:19:37,885 Speaker 4: so much in this profile about what it means to 395 00:19:38,005 --> 00:19:42,245 Speaker 4: return to the workplace after children. Now her workplace is 396 00:19:42,525 --> 00:19:45,765 Speaker 4: more glamorous, well not more glamorous than ours, because ours 397 00:19:45,805 --> 00:19:50,244 Speaker 4: is very glamorous, but more glamorous than many workplaces. But 398 00:19:50,405 --> 00:19:54,765 Speaker 4: I still think that there's some really telling, universal themes 399 00:19:54,765 --> 00:19:57,205 Speaker 4: in there to draw out. She's so honest with Gia 400 00:19:57,285 --> 00:20:01,445 Speaker 4: Tolentino Jennifer Lawrence about how she feels like a completely 401 00:20:01,445 --> 00:20:04,845 Speaker 4: different person after children. May I unpack a few gems 402 00:20:04,885 --> 00:20:05,125 Speaker 4: for you. 403 00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:08,445 Speaker 2: Please, because when you sent this to me, I said, Amelia, 404 00:20:08,525 --> 00:20:10,925 Speaker 2: eight thousand words. I will skim it at bet, so 405 00:20:11,405 --> 00:20:13,085 Speaker 2: tell me all the best bits, like why I should 406 00:20:13,205 --> 00:20:13,484 Speaker 2: read this. 407 00:20:13,765 --> 00:20:16,525 Speaker 3: I got the highlighter out to Emelia. I'm here for good. 408 00:20:17,205 --> 00:20:20,005 Speaker 4: Let's compare notes. So the big headline that you may 409 00:20:20,005 --> 00:20:23,765 Speaker 4: have seen is that Jennifer Lawrence has breast surgery schedule 410 00:20:23,845 --> 00:20:26,165 Speaker 4: for November. Now we don't know what the nature of 411 00:20:26,165 --> 00:20:29,484 Speaker 4: that surgery is, but it's some kind of esthetic procedure. 412 00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:32,244 Speaker 4: Because she says she has a nude scene to do 413 00:20:32,325 --> 00:20:35,365 Speaker 4: early next year. Now, Gia says to her, would you 414 00:20:35,405 --> 00:20:37,365 Speaker 4: be doing that anyway even if you didn't have a 415 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:40,685 Speaker 4: nud scene, And she says yes, because after her first child, 416 00:20:40,925 --> 00:20:44,244 Speaker 4: whose name is CSI, her body bounced back, that's her phrase, 417 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:47,405 Speaker 4: by the way, bounced back. After her second child, who 418 00:20:47,484 --> 00:20:49,645 Speaker 4: we think is called Louis, although the name is not 419 00:20:49,725 --> 00:20:52,284 Speaker 4: mentioned in the article, she says her body did not 420 00:20:52,405 --> 00:20:54,405 Speaker 4: bounce back, and that is why she is having the 421 00:20:54,405 --> 00:20:55,244 Speaker 4: breast surgery. 422 00:20:55,405 --> 00:20:58,445 Speaker 3: I found that the least interesting part of this article, 423 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,845 Speaker 3: I could not care less. She also talked about she's 424 00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,325 Speaker 3: going to get a face it too. This is just 425 00:21:04,445 --> 00:21:07,125 Speaker 3: fodder on the side of it. What I want to 426 00:21:07,165 --> 00:21:11,925 Speaker 3: talk about is how she's rebranding herself. She's gone from 427 00:21:11,965 --> 00:21:16,605 Speaker 3: being the cool girl who ate pizza and drank beers 428 00:21:16,645 --> 00:21:18,524 Speaker 3: and burped and fell over on the stairs at the 429 00:21:18,565 --> 00:21:23,805 Speaker 3: Oscars Red carpet, and she's had this metamorphosis into serious artists. 430 00:21:23,805 --> 00:21:26,365 Speaker 3: Now she's gone away, she's had two kids, she started 431 00:21:26,365 --> 00:21:31,125 Speaker 3: a production company, and she's coming out with this really artistic, 432 00:21:31,685 --> 00:21:35,885 Speaker 3: deep movie that Martin Scorsese rang her up and said, 433 00:21:36,445 --> 00:21:38,885 Speaker 3: you've got to do this. In fact, I thought that 434 00:21:39,045 --> 00:21:42,405 Speaker 3: was really key. She says, it was six weeks after 435 00:21:42,405 --> 00:21:45,004 Speaker 3: the birth of my first child when Scorsese's name popped 436 00:21:45,125 --> 00:21:48,365 Speaker 3: up on my phone. He said, this is the kind 437 00:21:48,405 --> 00:21:50,764 Speaker 3: of thing you should be doing. Go take a chance, 438 00:21:51,005 --> 00:21:54,085 Speaker 3: not any sense of a comfortable character off the board, 439 00:21:54,165 --> 00:21:57,084 Speaker 3: and just go for it. And in this entire eight 440 00:21:57,165 --> 00:22:00,125 Speaker 3: thousand word article, I felt like that was really key, 441 00:22:00,325 --> 00:22:03,645 Speaker 3: because there is this moment that mums have after they 442 00:22:03,725 --> 00:22:06,885 Speaker 3: become mums where work takes on a whole new meaning 443 00:22:07,005 --> 00:22:09,484 Speaker 3: and you need it to feel really worth it in 444 00:22:09,525 --> 00:22:11,885 Speaker 3: a whole new way. If you are spending time away 445 00:22:11,885 --> 00:22:14,325 Speaker 3: from your child, you want it to be for something. 446 00:22:14,365 --> 00:22:17,365 Speaker 3: It's just like weird, desperate puol of this has got 447 00:22:17,405 --> 00:22:20,085 Speaker 3: to matter. Maybe that was just my reading of it, 448 00:22:20,085 --> 00:22:22,565 Speaker 3: because that feels intensely personal to me. But it does 449 00:22:22,605 --> 00:22:25,605 Speaker 3: feel like this profile takes her from being that ubiquitous 450 00:22:25,645 --> 00:22:29,325 Speaker 3: cool girl into like serious artist, and I just thought 451 00:22:29,405 --> 00:22:31,005 Speaker 3: that transition is really interesting. 452 00:22:31,285 --> 00:22:34,685 Speaker 4: I think that's so profound because it's a lot to 453 00:22:34,685 --> 00:22:37,445 Speaker 4: do with how she approaches her work. She was always 454 00:22:37,445 --> 00:22:40,405 Speaker 4: a serious artist. She won an Oscar, she was a 455 00:22:40,445 --> 00:22:42,965 Speaker 4: critically acclaimed actor in a lot of indie films in 456 00:22:42,965 --> 00:22:46,125 Speaker 4: addition to the Hunger Games trilogy. She was always a 457 00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:50,045 Speaker 4: serious artist. But what's changed is that now she's comfortable 458 00:22:50,484 --> 00:22:54,325 Speaker 4: talking about herself and treating herself like a serious artist. 459 00:22:54,365 --> 00:22:55,965 Speaker 4: Before it was all kind of a joke. It was 460 00:22:56,005 --> 00:22:58,045 Speaker 4: the falling down stage at the Oscars. It was the 461 00:22:58,045 --> 00:23:01,125 Speaker 4: eating of the fried chicken. It's interesting that there was 462 00:23:01,165 --> 00:23:04,524 Speaker 4: this trope of cool girls doing interviews where they ate 463 00:23:04,725 --> 00:23:07,885 Speaker 4: like lots of fast food and showed how relaxed they 464 00:23:07,885 --> 00:23:10,885 Speaker 4: were around food and so on. It's interesting that in 465 00:23:10,885 --> 00:23:13,885 Speaker 4: this interview she and Gia Tolantino go out for lunch 466 00:23:13,925 --> 00:23:17,045 Speaker 4: at one of the most sought after restaurants in New York, 467 00:23:17,685 --> 00:23:20,445 Speaker 4: and Jennifer Lawrence doesn't eat. And what I take from 468 00:23:20,445 --> 00:23:24,165 Speaker 4: that is that she's so serious about nailing this interview. 469 00:23:24,605 --> 00:23:27,285 Speaker 4: She's not going to concentrate on anything else while she's there, 470 00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:28,005 Speaker 4: because she was. 471 00:23:28,085 --> 00:23:32,125 Speaker 2: Very much the victim of that over exposed Hollywood actress, 472 00:23:32,205 --> 00:23:33,685 Speaker 2: right Like, she kind of got put in the same 473 00:23:33,725 --> 00:23:36,725 Speaker 2: basket as the Anne Hathaways where they were just everywhere, 474 00:23:36,765 --> 00:23:39,165 Speaker 2: and then they got branded as too annoying, that they 475 00:23:39,165 --> 00:23:41,565 Speaker 2: were almost too relatable and too cool girl. And it 476 00:23:41,605 --> 00:23:43,685 Speaker 2: feels like she's pulled back on that yew. 477 00:23:43,925 --> 00:23:46,165 Speaker 4: Kind of be relatable and yeah, she's just like, I've 478 00:23:46,165 --> 00:23:48,405 Speaker 4: got a film to promote. I feel very proud of 479 00:23:48,445 --> 00:23:50,645 Speaker 4: that film. It took me away from my children, and 480 00:23:50,645 --> 00:23:51,445 Speaker 4: now I want to make. 481 00:23:51,325 --> 00:23:52,685 Speaker 5: Sure that it's a success. 482 00:23:53,085 --> 00:23:55,565 Speaker 4: There's another great moment where when they're at that lunch 483 00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:59,725 Speaker 4: or that meeting at the restaurant, Gia Tolantino describes this 484 00:23:59,845 --> 00:24:03,085 Speaker 4: sense of an invisible string pulling Jennifer back to her 485 00:24:03,125 --> 00:24:05,685 Speaker 4: six month old baby who's at home. That sense when 486 00:24:05,685 --> 00:24:08,165 Speaker 4: you have a newborn where it's like a ticking time 487 00:24:08,205 --> 00:24:11,645 Speaker 4: bomb if you're away from them, And that just underscores 488 00:24:11,685 --> 00:24:14,085 Speaker 4: this sense of I am away from my baby. I 489 00:24:14,125 --> 00:24:17,244 Speaker 4: don't have time to eat elaborate foods to prove to 490 00:24:17,285 --> 00:24:19,085 Speaker 4: you anything. I just want to talk to you about 491 00:24:19,085 --> 00:24:21,205 Speaker 4: this movie and why I feel passionately about it. 492 00:24:21,445 --> 00:24:25,045 Speaker 3: Oh, that was such a beautiful line, and Giotlantino can 493 00:24:25,085 --> 00:24:26,965 Speaker 3: write the shit out of it, right, but she says, 494 00:24:27,285 --> 00:24:29,484 Speaker 3: I highlighted it for you. It was like there was 495 00:24:29,484 --> 00:24:32,564 Speaker 3: an invisible tether new mothers have to their infants, the 496 00:24:32,685 --> 00:24:37,564 Speaker 3: rope tightening, the clock counting down. Like Jennifer Lawrence is 497 00:24:37,605 --> 00:24:39,845 Speaker 3: in a cafe talking to a journalist, but her body 498 00:24:39,885 --> 00:24:42,645 Speaker 3: is still on baby time. It's just nailed it. 499 00:24:42,885 --> 00:24:44,764 Speaker 2: I've never heard it put that way, but that is 500 00:24:44,845 --> 00:24:46,725 Speaker 2: what it is, isn't it. When you have a little kid, 501 00:24:46,845 --> 00:24:49,365 Speaker 2: everything feels like it's on a timer, like you're counting 502 00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:50,525 Speaker 2: down to getting back to them. 503 00:24:50,565 --> 00:24:53,925 Speaker 4: All the time, everything's heightened. Yeah, there's another great moment 504 00:24:53,965 --> 00:24:56,044 Speaker 4: that didn't make the headlines, but which I think is 505 00:24:56,125 --> 00:25:00,324 Speaker 4: so interesting, which is that when you become a parent, 506 00:25:00,725 --> 00:25:04,365 Speaker 4: you start to reevaluate your relationship with your own parents, 507 00:25:04,405 --> 00:25:07,084 Speaker 4: and you see it in a new light, and that 508 00:25:07,125 --> 00:25:09,925 Speaker 4: can be positive, it can be negative, it can be neutral. 509 00:25:10,085 --> 00:25:13,645 Speaker 4: But in Jennifer Lawrence's case, that means feeling able to 510 00:25:13,725 --> 00:25:16,965 Speaker 4: pull away from this very rigid religious upbringing she had, 511 00:25:17,005 --> 00:25:19,725 Speaker 4: where she felt a lot of shame around sex and 512 00:25:19,725 --> 00:25:22,205 Speaker 4: her sexual identity, she maybe didn't agree with her parents' 513 00:25:22,205 --> 00:25:25,685 Speaker 4: political views, and now that she's had her own children, 514 00:25:26,245 --> 00:25:28,925 Speaker 4: she feels able to stand on her own two feet 515 00:25:29,005 --> 00:25:32,125 Speaker 4: aside from that parental unit that she grew up with. 516 00:25:32,285 --> 00:25:34,685 Speaker 4: Sort of like what we were saying before about favoritism 517 00:25:34,805 --> 00:25:37,525 Speaker 4: in families, you start to only see those dynamics, I think, 518 00:25:38,125 --> 00:25:40,285 Speaker 4: or you can start to only see those dynamics after 519 00:25:40,285 --> 00:25:41,445 Speaker 4: you have your own children. 520 00:25:42,245 --> 00:25:44,885 Speaker 3: So true. The other really honest thing she talks about 521 00:25:45,045 --> 00:25:48,445 Speaker 3: is her postpartum anxiety, not with her first child, but 522 00:25:48,525 --> 00:25:51,605 Speaker 3: with her second. She says, I just thought every time 523 00:25:51,645 --> 00:25:54,325 Speaker 3: he was sleeping he was dead. I thought he cried 524 00:25:54,405 --> 00:25:57,525 Speaker 3: because he didn't like his life or me or his family. 525 00:25:57,765 --> 00:25:59,965 Speaker 3: I thought I was doing everything wrong and that I 526 00:26:00,005 --> 00:26:01,325 Speaker 3: would ruin my children. 527 00:26:01,725 --> 00:26:04,045 Speaker 2: That's so interesting to say about a second. I feel 528 00:26:04,045 --> 00:26:07,004 Speaker 2: like that's the thing from everyone with a first I know, 529 00:26:07,045 --> 00:26:09,925 Speaker 2: I definitely felt like that and was kind of leaning 530 00:26:09,965 --> 00:26:12,645 Speaker 2: over twenty times a night to make sure my daughter 531 00:26:12,725 --> 00:26:14,965 Speaker 2: was still alive. But you never hear that with the 532 00:26:14,965 --> 00:26:17,165 Speaker 2: second so I love that she's talking about that too. 533 00:26:17,325 --> 00:26:19,844 Speaker 4: She also gets at that feeling when you have a 534 00:26:19,885 --> 00:26:23,445 Speaker 4: newborn where you're just typing things into your phone for 535 00:26:23,565 --> 00:26:27,284 Speaker 4: reassurance at all hours of the night. So she asks 536 00:26:27,365 --> 00:26:30,765 Speaker 4: chat GPT a question about breastfeeding and then gets back 537 00:26:30,805 --> 00:26:33,805 Speaker 4: this very rope response, you were doing a beautiful thing 538 00:26:33,845 --> 00:26:36,405 Speaker 4: for your child, And she says that that just made 539 00:26:36,445 --> 00:26:39,045 Speaker 4: her feel worse because she was like, I don't believe 540 00:26:39,045 --> 00:26:41,605 Speaker 4: that chat GPT cares about me. Who cares about me? 541 00:26:41,845 --> 00:26:44,685 Speaker 4: It was very relatable, that sense of seeking answers from 542 00:26:44,725 --> 00:26:45,845 Speaker 4: the internet late at night. 543 00:26:46,165 --> 00:26:49,004 Speaker 3: She does seem incredibly self aware and intelligent. Does she not? 544 00:26:49,645 --> 00:26:52,764 Speaker 3: This entire profile, I was really surprised at what I 545 00:26:52,805 --> 00:26:54,685 Speaker 3: was reading about her and the way that people talked 546 00:26:54,685 --> 00:26:57,045 Speaker 3: about her, and what it acting genius she is as well, 547 00:26:57,405 --> 00:27:00,045 Speaker 3: and how she never had any training and that's actually 548 00:27:00,085 --> 00:27:02,804 Speaker 3: her superpower. She just drops into the roles and the 549 00:27:02,845 --> 00:27:05,605 Speaker 3: more she studies the character, the tighter she gets about it. Anyway, 550 00:27:05,645 --> 00:27:07,485 Speaker 3: I'm going down a wholerabbit hole about her. Acting. Now, 551 00:27:07,645 --> 00:27:08,764 Speaker 3: what else do we need to know about it? 552 00:27:08,925 --> 00:27:11,805 Speaker 5: But that's connected to what you started with Mons. 553 00:27:11,685 --> 00:27:15,244 Speaker 4: Because all these people are quoted admiringly in the article 554 00:27:15,565 --> 00:27:18,405 Speaker 4: about how great an actor Jennifer Lawrence is, from Emma 555 00:27:18,445 --> 00:27:22,725 Speaker 4: Stone to Jodie Foster. But what comes through so clearly 556 00:27:22,925 --> 00:27:26,484 Speaker 4: is that now Jennifer Lawrence knows that she is a 557 00:27:26,525 --> 00:27:30,645 Speaker 4: serious actor, and she is owning that. And it seems 558 00:27:30,725 --> 00:27:34,645 Speaker 4: like that realization and that acknowledgment of her own skill 559 00:27:35,045 --> 00:27:38,285 Speaker 4: is actually intertwined with having children for her. 560 00:27:38,725 --> 00:27:41,004 Speaker 3: On that same note, the other thing that really struck 561 00:27:41,045 --> 00:27:44,125 Speaker 3: me was how the machine of Hollywood was controlling her. 562 00:27:44,205 --> 00:27:46,885 Speaker 3: But now she's taking control back, Amelia in my mind. 563 00:27:46,965 --> 00:27:49,125 Speaker 3: So she talks about how when she was at the 564 00:27:49,125 --> 00:27:51,805 Speaker 3: height of her fame, she was hounded by the paparazzi 565 00:27:52,125 --> 00:27:54,325 Speaker 3: and now she just plays their game. Now that she's 566 00:27:54,365 --> 00:27:56,725 Speaker 3: got children, the stakes are higher. So what she does 567 00:27:57,005 --> 00:28:00,165 Speaker 3: is she leaves her house, she lets the pap take 568 00:28:00,205 --> 00:28:02,085 Speaker 3: their photos, and then they leave her alone for the 569 00:28:02,085 --> 00:28:05,125 Speaker 3: rest of the day. And on that she says, I 570 00:28:05,205 --> 00:28:08,085 Speaker 3: realized that my kids would be aware of my energy, 571 00:28:08,285 --> 00:28:10,605 Speaker 3: and that if I was nervous and pissed when we 572 00:28:10,685 --> 00:28:13,525 Speaker 3: left the house and the paps were there. They would 573 00:28:13,605 --> 00:28:16,165 Speaker 3: feel that in their little bodies. So it's almost like 574 00:28:16,405 --> 00:28:19,045 Speaker 3: she goes, yep, I get the game, have your photos, 575 00:28:19,085 --> 00:28:22,205 Speaker 3: and leave us alone. And that feels very much, in 576 00:28:22,285 --> 00:28:25,445 Speaker 3: a way, taking back the control of what she can control. 577 00:28:25,685 --> 00:28:27,845 Speaker 4: And I saw that in action this week because I 578 00:28:27,925 --> 00:28:31,004 Speaker 4: did see some photos of her crossing the street in 579 00:28:31,045 --> 00:28:34,645 Speaker 4: New York wearing a giant witch's hat, and I thought, 580 00:28:34,725 --> 00:28:37,885 Speaker 4: that's Jennifer Lawrence doing the mum thing. Yeah, So that's 581 00:28:37,925 --> 00:28:40,485 Speaker 4: your recommendation for this week? Familiar you must, I guess 582 00:28:40,485 --> 00:28:42,525 Speaker 4: it is. Yes, that is my recommendation. 583 00:28:42,925 --> 00:28:44,205 Speaker 3: Where do people find it? 584 00:28:44,205 --> 00:28:46,205 Speaker 4: It is a profile of Jennifer Lawrence in the New 585 00:28:46,285 --> 00:28:49,885 Speaker 4: Yorker magazine by Geotolantino. The New Yorker does have a 586 00:28:49,925 --> 00:28:51,925 Speaker 4: pay well, but typically you can get away with reading 587 00:28:51,925 --> 00:28:53,165 Speaker 4: one piece for free. 588 00:28:53,485 --> 00:28:55,725 Speaker 3: Let's put a link in the show notes to the article. 589 00:28:56,005 --> 00:28:57,925 Speaker 4: If you are struggling with some of the issues that 590 00:28:57,925 --> 00:29:01,925 Speaker 4: we've discussed here around postpartum depression and anxiety, we will 591 00:29:01,965 --> 00:29:04,405 Speaker 4: include a link also in the show notes with some resources. 592 00:29:04,485 --> 00:29:06,005 Speaker 4: And we send all our love to you. 593 00:29:06,685 --> 00:29:09,325 Speaker 5: Stacy. What is your recommendation this week? 594 00:29:09,805 --> 00:29:12,565 Speaker 2: Look is not as high brow as there. So mine 595 00:29:12,725 --> 00:29:15,245 Speaker 2: is just a multi screen show. So you know how 596 00:29:15,285 --> 00:29:17,165 Speaker 2: you just need a show at night where when you're 597 00:29:17,165 --> 00:29:19,325 Speaker 2: scrolling on your phone and your bugget you just need 598 00:29:19,365 --> 00:29:21,925 Speaker 2: something that's easy and lovely to watch. And I have 599 00:29:21,965 --> 00:29:23,365 Speaker 2: been watching Building the Band. 600 00:29:23,605 --> 00:29:24,045 Speaker 1: What is that? 601 00:29:24,245 --> 00:29:24,525 Speaker 5: Okay? 602 00:29:24,565 --> 00:29:27,565 Speaker 2: So it flew under the radar, but hosted by Nicole 603 00:29:27,645 --> 00:29:29,525 Speaker 2: Scherzinger from Pussycat Dolls. 604 00:29:29,525 --> 00:29:31,685 Speaker 5: But she's also like a Tony Winner or something. 605 00:29:31,805 --> 00:29:35,405 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, she is an aj McLean from Backstreet Boys, 606 00:29:35,405 --> 00:29:37,405 Speaker 2: so they host it so they are well versed. 607 00:29:37,565 --> 00:29:38,685 Speaker 5: He's bad, bad. 608 00:29:38,525 --> 00:29:42,325 Speaker 4: Backstreet boy, right, no street boy, he's like an anti vaxsa. 609 00:29:42,525 --> 00:29:44,645 Speaker 5: Oh no, I don't think it's him. He's fine. He 610 00:29:44,685 --> 00:29:45,405 Speaker 5: gets a bath. 611 00:29:46,005 --> 00:29:48,405 Speaker 2: But they get all these talented singers and they all 612 00:29:48,405 --> 00:29:51,405 Speaker 2: have to audition for each other sight unseen, and then 613 00:29:51,405 --> 00:29:53,325 Speaker 2: they decide if they'd want to be in a band 614 00:29:53,405 --> 00:29:55,645 Speaker 2: with that person. So it's kind of like love is 615 00:29:55,685 --> 00:29:58,845 Speaker 2: blind Slash the Voice, and they have to decide after 616 00:29:58,885 --> 00:30:00,885 Speaker 2: hearing each other who they want to pair up with. 617 00:30:01,285 --> 00:30:03,005 Speaker 5: They get a few chances to chat. 618 00:30:02,805 --> 00:30:05,125 Speaker 2: And then they're thrown in as a full band, so 619 00:30:05,125 --> 00:30:06,885 Speaker 2: they have no idea what these people look like. 620 00:30:07,245 --> 00:30:08,525 Speaker 5: If they're going to mesh. 621 00:30:08,685 --> 00:30:10,325 Speaker 2: It's just actually quite wholesome. 622 00:30:10,685 --> 00:30:11,885 Speaker 3: It's really good. 623 00:30:12,085 --> 00:30:13,085 Speaker 5: It's really good. 624 00:30:13,205 --> 00:30:16,285 Speaker 2: And late Liam Paigne from One Direction, who passed away 625 00:30:16,445 --> 00:30:18,485 Speaker 2: last year, he was a guest judge on it, so 626 00:30:18,525 --> 00:30:20,765 Speaker 2: it was obviously filmed a long time ago and just 627 00:30:20,845 --> 00:30:23,925 Speaker 2: came out this year. It's just great, Like it's just 628 00:30:23,965 --> 00:30:25,725 Speaker 2: such a vibe, so highly recommend able. 629 00:30:25,845 --> 00:30:28,405 Speaker 3: Yes, that's a great recommendation. I think that's a really 630 00:30:28,405 --> 00:30:30,445 Speaker 3: good co watching show. I'll tell you what's not a 631 00:30:30,445 --> 00:30:33,365 Speaker 3: good co watching show. I've been watching The Golden Bachelor, 632 00:30:33,885 --> 00:30:36,525 Speaker 3: and I mean, I'm loving it sick. But my kids 633 00:30:37,045 --> 00:30:39,604 Speaker 3: were drawn in by the rousing music and you know, 634 00:30:39,805 --> 00:30:43,725 Speaker 3: all the beautiful lights in the mansion. Explaining that show 635 00:30:43,725 --> 00:30:49,045 Speaker 3: to my kids was so diabolical. I was like, Okay, 636 00:30:49,205 --> 00:30:53,845 Speaker 3: so all these amazing women are trying to get the 637 00:30:53,885 --> 00:30:57,525 Speaker 3: attention of this one man and he gets to pick. 638 00:30:57,725 --> 00:30:59,925 Speaker 3: The man gets to pick which one he wants. And 639 00:30:59,965 --> 00:31:02,445 Speaker 3: my kids like, why does the man get to pick? 640 00:31:02,885 --> 00:31:05,325 Speaker 3: What's good about the man? And I was like, what's 641 00:31:05,365 --> 00:31:08,885 Speaker 3: good about nothing? Nothing, Let's turn the shuttle over. 642 00:31:09,805 --> 00:31:12,445 Speaker 5: So, but what a good question. It was confronted the 643 00:31:12,525 --> 00:31:14,645 Speaker 5: man and it's a great question for life. 644 00:31:14,805 --> 00:31:18,005 Speaker 2: It's a lot exerciety so too, and what's your recco 645 00:31:18,165 --> 00:31:20,045 Speaker 2: mons apart from the Golden Bachelor. 646 00:31:20,605 --> 00:31:23,365 Speaker 3: Okay, So, a friend of mine who's a speech therapist 647 00:31:23,565 --> 00:31:26,565 Speaker 3: recommended this to me and she says, every single ot 648 00:31:26,805 --> 00:31:30,205 Speaker 3: and speech therapist has this little game in their kit bag. 649 00:31:30,405 --> 00:31:34,445 Speaker 3: It's a little kid's game called spot It, and it's 650 00:31:34,605 --> 00:31:37,725 Speaker 3: very simple, it's very fun. But here's the genius. It 651 00:31:37,805 --> 00:31:43,805 Speaker 3: teaches like visual processing, fine motor skills, attention and social skills. 652 00:31:44,085 --> 00:31:46,645 Speaker 3: And you would never know it because it's actually really fun. 653 00:31:46,765 --> 00:31:49,325 Speaker 3: It's called spot It. It's about twenty dollars from Big 654 00:31:49,445 --> 00:31:52,525 Speaker 3: W Target came out all those places. Just throw it 655 00:31:52,565 --> 00:31:54,925 Speaker 3: in your kids Christmas stocking or put it in the. 656 00:31:54,845 --> 00:31:56,605 Speaker 5: Present cupboard for little kids. 657 00:31:56,685 --> 00:31:58,325 Speaker 2: Like how young are we talking that you do? 658 00:31:58,365 --> 00:31:59,685 Speaker 5: Use this with no I reckon? 659 00:31:59,685 --> 00:32:02,205 Speaker 3: You could play it like three year olds to probably 660 00:32:02,205 --> 00:32:02,845 Speaker 3: ten year olds. 661 00:32:03,325 --> 00:32:06,285 Speaker 5: Cool. That's great. That's all we got time for. 662 00:32:06,405 --> 00:32:08,845 Speaker 3: Thank you for being with us today all the way 663 00:32:08,885 --> 00:32:11,125 Speaker 3: through to this point. And a huge thank you to 664 00:32:11,245 --> 00:32:14,844 Speaker 3: the people who clicked follow because there were actually hundreds 665 00:32:14,885 --> 00:32:16,805 Speaker 3: last week and it's such a micro thing to do, 666 00:32:17,005 --> 00:32:21,604 Speaker 3: but it helps us massively Some people even went beyond that, 667 00:32:21,645 --> 00:32:24,965 Speaker 3: guys and left a review. Now, usually we like to 668 00:32:25,005 --> 00:32:28,445 Speaker 3: ask people to leave a gentle parenting review, which makes 669 00:32:28,485 --> 00:32:30,765 Speaker 3: us really laugh, but we can't control everyone. Some people 670 00:32:30,845 --> 00:32:33,965 Speaker 3: just go completely rogue, such as this one from a 671 00:32:34,005 --> 00:32:37,844 Speaker 3: sixty year old child free person who says, I'm in 672 00:32:37,845 --> 00:32:40,965 Speaker 3: my early sixties and free of offspring by choice, but 673 00:32:41,085 --> 00:32:44,165 Speaker 3: have amazing nephews, nieces, and a gorgeous collection of god children. 674 00:32:44,845 --> 00:32:48,445 Speaker 3: My friend's grandchildren are being introduced into our crazy, wonderful 675 00:32:48,485 --> 00:32:50,045 Speaker 3: world at a rate of knots. So I like to 676 00:32:50,045 --> 00:32:52,965 Speaker 3: be across all the things around, navigating the journey. I 677 00:32:53,045 --> 00:32:55,845 Speaker 3: enjoy listening to these girls so much. You all rock. 678 00:32:56,285 --> 00:32:58,605 Speaker 4: Can I just say that I know that that woman 679 00:32:59,125 --> 00:33:01,085 Speaker 4: gives the best birthday presents. 680 00:33:01,245 --> 00:33:04,125 Speaker 5: Oh, she's so totally. She's doing so much research. 681 00:33:04,165 --> 00:33:06,325 Speaker 4: She's got tabs open, she's got a little notes app 682 00:33:06,445 --> 00:33:08,565 Speaker 4: thing on her phone with like a list of ideas 683 00:33:08,765 --> 00:33:09,285 Speaker 4: year round. 684 00:33:09,685 --> 00:33:11,205 Speaker 5: She's such a yeah. 685 00:33:11,245 --> 00:33:12,965 Speaker 3: Okay. The other thing I loved about is that she 686 00:33:13,045 --> 00:33:16,365 Speaker 3: left no name, just emojis as her kind of name, 687 00:33:17,405 --> 00:33:19,485 Speaker 3: shell and like an octopus. 688 00:33:21,645 --> 00:33:23,405 Speaker 5: That's so cool. I didn't even know there was a 689 00:33:23,485 --> 00:33:24,605 Speaker 5: jellyfish emoji. 690 00:33:24,725 --> 00:33:27,965 Speaker 3: She's the cool jellyfish shell and a piece of coral. 691 00:33:28,885 --> 00:33:31,765 Speaker 3: You rock too, our emoji godmother, thank you so much, 692 00:33:31,885 --> 00:33:34,205 Speaker 3: and also a big thanks to our team Tesakotovich, Leap, 693 00:33:34,245 --> 00:33:36,845 Speaker 3: Worgeous and Sashtanic and the big Boss is ripped. Devine, 694 00:33:37,045 --> 00:33:39,445 Speaker 3: have a great week. We'll be back in this feed 695 00:33:39,525 --> 00:33:42,405 Speaker 3: next Saturday morning. I cannot wait. Bye byeye