WEBVTT - Introducing 'Everyone Has An Ex': Double Trouble 0:00:10.405 --> 0:00:13.125 You're listening to a Mom and Me a podcast. 0:00:13.925 --> 0:00:16.885 Mama Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 0:00:16.885 --> 0:00:20.365 that this podcast is recorded on. Hey, friends, it's Mia. 0:00:20.445 --> 0:00:23.125 I'm popping into your ears because if you love no Filter, 0:00:23.685 --> 0:00:26.405 you're going to love a show called Everyone Has An 0:00:26.445 --> 0:00:31.325 Ex because it's about stories. It's about relationships, and it's 0:00:31.325 --> 0:00:34.405 about what happens when they end and when things go 0:00:34.605 --> 0:00:39.205 really really wrong. Today's episode that I'm going to share 0:00:39.245 --> 0:00:42.885 with you is called Double Trouble, and I don't want 0:00:42.925 --> 0:00:46.005 to spoil it, but it's about a guy called Josh 0:00:46.285 --> 0:00:49.965 and it's about a double life. Enjoy this episode, and 0:00:50.405 --> 0:00:52.765 if you want to hear more if Everyone has an Ex, 0:00:53.045 --> 0:00:54.925 we'll put a link in the show notes. 0:01:01.245 --> 0:01:05.725 Young love, remember that reading someone your part time hospital job. 0:01:05.765 --> 0:01:07.245 We get together every. 0:01:07.085 --> 0:01:10.005 Night, they start making eyes at each other and one 0:01:10.005 --> 0:01:12.645 thing leads to another. Soon you're spending the night at 0:01:12.645 --> 0:01:15.565 their family home and having dinner with their parents. Well 0:01:15.805 --> 0:01:18.165 that's exactly how Emily met Josh. 0:01:18.285 --> 0:01:20.525 We just had such an instant connection at the time, 0:01:20.845 --> 0:01:24.285 and he was quite assertive person where he was like, yep, 0:01:24.365 --> 0:01:27.005 I'm ready to meet your family. Literally within the first 0:01:27.005 --> 0:01:30.325 two months, we had met each other's families. His family 0:01:30.365 --> 0:01:32.765 were beautiful, My family were beautiful as well, so we 0:01:32.845 --> 0:01:36.245 both came from quite good people around us. And then 0:01:36.245 --> 0:01:37.445 our relationship just grew. 0:01:38.005 --> 0:01:40.485 And when you meet someone so young, it really only 0:01:40.525 --> 0:01:42.965 goes one of two ways. You either grow up and 0:01:43.085 --> 0:01:46.605 apart or you grow together, like Emily and Josh did 0:01:46.965 --> 0:01:49.845 after seven years. They knew each other like the back 0:01:49.885 --> 0:01:53.485 of their own hands and trusted each other implicitly. At 0:01:53.525 --> 0:01:56.605 not even thirty years old, life was only just beginning. 0:01:56.845 --> 0:02:00.765 And then everything came crumbling down one day when my 0:02:01.405 --> 0:02:05.765 sister knocked on my door and said, Emily, I think 0:02:05.845 --> 0:02:07.565 your partner has another girlfriend. 0:02:17.245 --> 0:02:20.005 I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex 0:02:20.085 --> 0:02:22.565 Come with me as we dive into a collection of 0:02:22.765 --> 0:02:27.085 unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the 0:02:27.125 --> 0:02:29.365 hearts of the very people who lived them. 0:02:29.925 --> 0:02:30.805 Meet Emily. 0:02:31.365 --> 0:02:34.205 She's twenty eight now, but our story begins back in 0:02:34.285 --> 0:02:38.405 twenty seventeen, when she was, in her words, just a baby, 0:02:38.565 --> 0:02:40.645 twenty year old. 0:02:39.965 --> 0:02:43.085 Just come out of high school, started studying. I was 0:02:43.285 --> 0:02:47.645 going out a bit more, starting to socialize, meet new guys, 0:02:47.685 --> 0:02:50.925 and had had previous experiences in the past but not 0:02:51.005 --> 0:02:55.165 an actual long term relationship with someone. So I actually 0:02:55.205 --> 0:02:58.125 started working at a club back in the day and 0:02:58.645 --> 0:03:03.445 I developed a good connection with one of my colleagues, Josh. 0:03:03.565 --> 0:03:06.805 I then said, look, we're good friends right now. I 0:03:06.965 --> 0:03:10.405 went to Europe, did like a little girl's trip, came 0:03:10.485 --> 0:03:14.205 back and continued to grow with this person that I 0:03:14.245 --> 0:03:16.805 worked with. We had a really good friendship and I 0:03:16.845 --> 0:03:20.925 think we had a lot of common interest. We both 0:03:21.085 --> 0:03:25.165 were interested in the same things. We just got along 0:03:25.205 --> 0:03:28.685 really well, started going out and we started to develop 0:03:28.685 --> 0:03:31.365 a relationship. And we were only kids when we met, 0:03:31.405 --> 0:03:33.885 so we were just learning about ourselves who were just 0:03:34.125 --> 0:03:37.445 starting our degrees, just starting to change jobs, starting to 0:03:37.725 --> 0:03:39.565 figure out whether we're going to stay at home or 0:03:39.605 --> 0:03:41.925 we're going to move out of home. So it was 0:03:41.965 --> 0:03:45.325 a pretty healthy relationship. When I met him. He gave 0:03:45.365 --> 0:03:47.245 me all the things that I wanted. So he was 0:03:47.725 --> 0:03:50.765 this person not from my world. He was someone that 0:03:50.885 --> 0:03:53.525 kind of opened up other avenues where he was someone 0:03:53.565 --> 0:03:56.325 that I was, Oh, this person does something that I 0:03:56.325 --> 0:03:58.925 don't do, such as go surfing, lives on the beach. 0:03:59.245 --> 0:04:02.245 We just had things that I found really interesting about him. 0:04:02.605 --> 0:04:04.365 At the time, I was really intrigued by what he 0:04:04.445 --> 0:04:07.805 was studying as well. We were both into health degree, 0:04:07.845 --> 0:04:10.845 so that's where we also had a connection with what 0:04:10.925 --> 0:04:13.805 we wanted to pursue in our careers, so finding someone 0:04:13.845 --> 0:04:16.805 aligned in my career in my life at that time. 0:04:17.205 --> 0:04:19.725 We both had good friends and family as well, so 0:04:19.725 --> 0:04:22.285 we were aligned in our values. But we were also 0:04:22.365 --> 0:04:24.285 very young school still kind of learning our values as 0:04:24.285 --> 0:04:26.925 well of what we want out of people. He was 0:04:26.925 --> 0:04:28.965 the same age as me, so we were both twenty. 0:04:29.485 --> 0:04:32.365 I found him quite I would say handsome, but he 0:04:32.445 --> 0:04:35.005 was still young so still had those boy features where 0:04:35.045 --> 0:04:38.565 he had fair eyes, light blue eyes. He had brown hair, 0:04:38.805 --> 0:04:42.205 quite a fair complexion. He's European, so he, you know, 0:04:42.405 --> 0:04:45.525 was quite a handsome young man who I was attracted 0:04:45.525 --> 0:04:46.965 to at the time of work. But he had a 0:04:47.005 --> 0:04:49.765 really good personality. So the way he would talk to 0:04:49.805 --> 0:04:53.125 me was very intelligent. From the start, he was a 0:04:53.285 --> 0:04:55.805 very good person to be around, so I found the 0:04:55.845 --> 0:04:58.845 way he would interact and articulate his words was also 0:04:58.925 --> 0:05:01.685 very attractive to me. He was someone kind of at 0:05:01.685 --> 0:05:05.165 my level with interactions, so as an overall, when I 0:05:05.165 --> 0:05:08.125 met him, I was like, Wow, he's smart, he's intelligent. 0:05:08.205 --> 0:05:11.805 He's tall, he's handsome, he knows how to talk to me. 0:05:11.845 --> 0:05:14.045 We can hold conversations for hours and hours, and that's 0:05:14.045 --> 0:05:16.445 what you look for, someone that you can just basically 0:05:16.485 --> 0:05:19.125 become best friends with when you first meet them. Then 0:05:19.165 --> 0:05:22.165 we just started to progress and started seeing each other. 0:05:22.605 --> 0:05:24.885 We were pretty quick for our families to meet as well, 0:05:24.965 --> 0:05:27.165 so I think just because we just had such an 0:05:27.205 --> 0:05:30.685 instant connection at the time, and he was quite assertive 0:05:30.725 --> 0:05:33.125 person where he was like, yep, I'm ready to meet 0:05:33.125 --> 0:05:36.325 your family. Literally within the first two months we had 0:05:36.365 --> 0:05:39.645 met each other's families. His family were beautiful, My family 0:05:39.645 --> 0:05:41.765 were beautiful as well, So we both came from quite 0:05:42.165 --> 0:05:45.325 good people around us, and then our relationship just grew. 0:05:46.045 --> 0:05:48.525 I mean, it all sounds pretty great so far, and 0:05:48.605 --> 0:05:50.925 it was. They both lived at home, but they'd stayed 0:05:50.925 --> 0:05:53.325 at each other's places, go out for lots of dinners, 0:05:53.365 --> 0:05:55.885 and away for the weekends. It was all just so 0:05:56.125 --> 0:05:59.125 nice and normal. Emily couldn't believe her luck. 0:05:59.685 --> 0:06:01.525 When when you're young, you're not used to this, You're like, 0:06:01.525 --> 0:06:03.845 oh wow, this guy is adoring you. He just takes 0:06:03.845 --> 0:06:06.005 you everywhere, like treats you how you should be treated 0:06:06.045 --> 0:06:08.965 in your relationship. So if you wanted to go for 0:06:09.005 --> 0:06:11.365 dinner here, books that here, we want to go our 0:06:11.405 --> 0:06:13.685 way for a weekend book this, we would go shopping. 0:06:13.765 --> 0:06:15.765 He would buy things for me, you know, just doing 0:06:15.765 --> 0:06:18.445 the little things. He was very loving and acts of 0:06:18.445 --> 0:06:20.605 service was what he brought to me at such a 0:06:20.645 --> 0:06:23.245 young age as well. Over so I would say the 0:06:23.285 --> 0:06:27.325 first two years we just continued to grow with each other. 0:06:27.525 --> 0:06:31.005 He finished his degree, we started to think about maybe 0:06:31.245 --> 0:06:34.845 moving out in the next few years, so our relationship 0:06:34.965 --> 0:06:37.525 just grew that. We became a lot closer with my 0:06:37.645 --> 0:06:40.885 friends as well, so his friends. He started to lean 0:06:40.925 --> 0:06:44.325 away from just being that. He started to be involved 0:06:44.365 --> 0:06:47.525 a little bit more with my life, so my friends, 0:06:47.765 --> 0:06:50.205 he was around a lot more. My family, he started 0:06:50.205 --> 0:06:53.045 to hang around a lot more. And when we looked 0:06:53.685 --> 0:06:56.125 in the next few years, we started to progress about 0:06:56.285 --> 0:06:59.325 moving out together. We decided to look at moving somewhere 0:06:59.325 --> 0:07:01.645 around my area, so he was from a different area. 0:07:01.765 --> 0:07:04.805 So my life started to become the bigger version in 0:07:04.965 --> 0:07:08.445 the relationship, which was not bad. He really loved being 0:07:08.485 --> 0:07:10.965 a part of my life at that time. So the 0:07:11.085 --> 0:07:13.045 progression was that we were going to look at moving out. 0:07:13.125 --> 0:07:16.325 So that's what we did, so by the age of 0:07:16.605 --> 0:07:20.605 around twenty three twenty four, we started to look around, 0:07:20.685 --> 0:07:23.445 We're getting really excited or we'd also bought a car 0:07:23.485 --> 0:07:27.445 as well together, and then we did secure a rental 0:07:27.725 --> 0:07:32.565 at the end of around twenty twenty one, I think 0:07:32.645 --> 0:07:37.805 when around COVID kind of happened, So we actually moved 0:07:37.845 --> 0:07:41.165 out during that COVID period. So that was the next 0:07:41.325 --> 0:07:44.085 big step of our relationship. So there was always like 0:07:44.165 --> 0:07:46.565 goals of moving out and then in the next few 0:07:46.605 --> 0:07:50.085 years probably getting engaged and then obviously getting married. In 0:07:50.125 --> 0:07:53.125 the meantime, I was still studying, he was working full time. 0:07:53.245 --> 0:07:56.285 I was also working, so we're still really working hard 0:07:56.285 --> 0:07:58.845 in our relationship, but we still had our main values, 0:07:58.845 --> 0:08:01.165 which was to move out and move in together, which 0:08:01.205 --> 0:08:04.365 we did. It was so exciting when you move out, 0:08:04.405 --> 0:08:07.565 like especially going to all the open homes in the beginning, 0:08:07.645 --> 0:08:09.205 and you're just so excited. You're like, wow, we're going 0:08:09.245 --> 0:08:11.765 to take this next step. We were so in love, like 0:08:11.845 --> 0:08:14.645 we just could not wait to take this next step 0:08:14.685 --> 0:08:16.805 and be in each other's lives all the time and 0:08:16.885 --> 0:08:18.765 be able to come home from work and have someone 0:08:18.845 --> 0:08:21.725 there and talk about our days and be able to 0:08:22.765 --> 0:08:26.565 really live in our relationship one hundred percent. Because beforehand, 0:08:26.645 --> 0:08:28.365 you know, you go to your parents' house. It's still 0:08:28.405 --> 0:08:31.685 like a dating situation. It's a very different relationship to 0:08:31.725 --> 0:08:34.165 when you move out and you're able to plan the 0:08:34.205 --> 0:08:36.805 future ahead. We were like excited the real test, like, oh, 0:08:36.845 --> 0:08:39.565 can we handle being around each other all the time. 0:08:40.085 --> 0:08:43.245 So some quick maths, it's now twenty twenty one, Emily 0:08:43.285 --> 0:08:46.485 and Joshua twenty four and have been together almost four years. 0:08:46.765 --> 0:08:49.405 It was the perfect time to take this next step. 0:08:50.045 --> 0:08:54.125 The first six months is that honeymoon stage, right, So 0:08:54.165 --> 0:08:56.285 it's maybe similar to when people get married and they 0:08:56.325 --> 0:08:58.085 move out as well. You move out and you're like, 0:08:58.165 --> 0:09:00.565 oh my gosh, like this is amazing. You know, you're 0:09:00.885 --> 0:09:04.005 you know physically, emotionally, mentally, you're just so attracted to 0:09:04.045 --> 0:09:05.965 each other. You just can't wait to just see each 0:09:05.965 --> 0:09:09.085 other every day and be with each other after work, 0:09:09.205 --> 0:09:12.405 or just go out with your friends and just really 0:09:12.525 --> 0:09:15.685 enjoy each other's company. You know, you're excited to cook together, 0:09:15.765 --> 0:09:18.725 you're excited to build the home together, like we were 0:09:18.765 --> 0:09:21.645 doing all this shopping and getting the place really ready 0:09:21.845 --> 0:09:25.085 for building a home. The only issue was that it 0:09:25.125 --> 0:09:29.205 was during COVID, so things started to get restrictive, as 0:09:29.205 --> 0:09:31.965 you know, so we weren't able to do as much 0:09:32.085 --> 0:09:35.525 outings as we wished we could. So when we actually 0:09:35.565 --> 0:09:39.005 moved out, we were kind of forced to stay inside 0:09:39.085 --> 0:09:41.645 all the time and be with just each other. So 0:09:41.725 --> 0:09:44.725 it was a real test. Josh was able to leave 0:09:44.765 --> 0:09:47.685 and go to work because they worked in healthcare. For me, 0:09:47.965 --> 0:09:50.685 I was still studying and my job was from home, 0:09:50.845 --> 0:09:54.365 so I was home a lot of the time. But 0:09:55.165 --> 0:09:58.805 the satisfaction when he came home and being happy started 0:09:58.845 --> 0:10:02.605 to change. He started to not be as happy, started 0:10:02.605 --> 0:10:06.485 to be a little bit more tired, and the way 0:10:06.565 --> 0:10:10.765 he communicated and spoke to me started to change. And 0:10:11.085 --> 0:10:14.205 at the time we looked at it as, oh, it's 0:10:14.285 --> 0:10:16.445 just because when he comes home, it's just me there 0:10:16.485 --> 0:10:18.045 in that seat. He can't really go out and see 0:10:18.085 --> 0:10:19.965 his friends. We can't really go out and see our family. 0:10:20.085 --> 0:10:24.645 So that was a difficult period of our relationship. We 0:10:24.645 --> 0:10:28.365 were never a fiery couple. We were quite relaxed and 0:10:28.405 --> 0:10:30.285 we got along so well that there was not much 0:10:30.325 --> 0:10:34.125 to fight about, and especially at that time, the only 0:10:34.205 --> 0:10:37.325 issues was that we were come all the time together. 0:10:37.445 --> 0:10:39.485 There was not much space and there was nothing we 0:10:39.525 --> 0:10:41.605 could do, so there wasn't much fighting. It was just 0:10:41.685 --> 0:10:45.765 more maybe get irritable with each other. And then COVID 0:10:45.765 --> 0:10:50.285 finished and we started to go out with friends a 0:10:50.285 --> 0:10:53.205 little bit more. We started to see our families again, 0:10:54.285 --> 0:10:56.245 but there was just something not right. He just still 0:10:56.365 --> 0:11:00.045 didn't seem happy. I started to notice these emotions where 0:11:00.045 --> 0:11:03.885 he wasn't very excited to be home with me anymore. 0:11:03.965 --> 0:11:07.725 He just seemed a bit mellow down, a little bit 0:11:08.485 --> 0:11:12.245 of a concern to be around. And I actually approached 0:11:12.285 --> 0:11:15.165 him about his emotions and how he's been at home, 0:11:15.205 --> 0:11:18.045 and it was simple, just it's just work, like it's 0:11:18.085 --> 0:11:21.645 just so much, you know, it's stressful. It was always 0:11:21.725 --> 0:11:25.765 about his work or his life. It wasn't so much 0:11:25.805 --> 0:11:28.365 that there was anything between us. But something's just not 0:11:28.525 --> 0:11:31.565 right because he's not you know, when's your relationships not 0:11:31.565 --> 0:11:34.125 one hundred percent, you know, when there's just starting to 0:11:34.165 --> 0:11:36.645 have doubts. And that's what started to come in, and 0:11:37.125 --> 0:11:41.325 we kind of started to just become a little bit distant. 0:11:41.645 --> 0:11:44.965 So I wasn't sure what was going on. I felt 0:11:44.965 --> 0:11:47.525 like everything was fine on my end, but he was 0:11:47.685 --> 0:11:51.085 very difficult to communicate that with. So there was one 0:11:51.165 --> 0:11:55.045 day we'd been out with friends and the next morning 0:11:56.165 --> 0:11:58.485 he explained to me that he's not sure he can 0:11:58.525 --> 0:12:02.845 commit to our relationship anymore. I sat there with him 0:12:02.885 --> 0:12:05.045 on the couch, go what do you mean, Like, what 0:12:05.085 --> 0:12:09.045 are you talking about? And he's just started to explain 0:12:09.045 --> 0:12:12.525 that he's not sure if he made the right decision 0:12:12.765 --> 0:12:16.605 I guess by staying in this relationship, and he's not 0:12:16.645 --> 0:12:19.565 sure he can commit and he doesn't know what it is, 0:12:19.685 --> 0:12:23.485 and started to make all these excuses about why he 0:12:23.525 --> 0:12:26.645 maybe thinks that us being together isn't really a good idea. 0:12:27.325 --> 0:12:30.525 And I'm really not stupid, I'm not oblivious to signs. 0:12:30.725 --> 0:12:32.645 And that's what I said to Mago. There's been nothing, 0:12:32.725 --> 0:12:35.605 like you haven't shown me that there have been issues 0:12:35.645 --> 0:12:39.005 apart from how you've been irritable and tired and stressed 0:12:39.045 --> 0:12:42.125 or whatever, but you haven't actually communicated to me that 0:12:42.165 --> 0:12:43.165 there was something wrong. 0:12:43.445 --> 0:12:46.765 He wasn't actually breaking up with her, but he certainly 0:12:46.845 --> 0:12:49.885 threw a bomb, and that started a really hard and 0:12:49.965 --> 0:12:52.285 pretty toxic cycle through. 0:12:52.925 --> 0:12:56.365 End of twenty twenty one till about January. We started 0:12:56.365 --> 0:13:00.885 to have fights, so we started to really become intolerable 0:13:00.925 --> 0:13:04.445 with each other because he just was really changing. And 0:13:04.485 --> 0:13:06.565 then when he said all that, two days later, he 0:13:06.725 --> 0:13:08.725 would pull me aside and say, I'm really sorry. I 0:13:08.765 --> 0:13:10.445 don't mean what I said. You know I love you 0:13:10.485 --> 0:13:12.685 so much, you know I didn't mean why. So he 0:13:12.685 --> 0:13:16.525 starts to kind of love bonb me with his emotions 0:13:16.565 --> 0:13:20.885 of being confused and not sure what's wrong. And it 0:13:21.045 --> 0:13:23.325 just really confused my head. So when someone's telling you 0:13:23.325 --> 0:13:25.565 they can't commit and then someone tells you, actually, I 0:13:25.605 --> 0:13:27.445 take it all back, like I'm really sorry, and if 0:13:27.445 --> 0:13:29.085 you love that person, of course you're gonna sit there. 0:13:29.125 --> 0:13:31.325 I'm like, yes, no worries, that's fine, Like I know 0:13:31.405 --> 0:13:34.325 you're going through something. It's all good. I told him, 0:13:34.485 --> 0:13:36.685 I've said I want to fight for this because I 0:13:36.725 --> 0:13:38.925 really love you. I really and truly love you with 0:13:38.965 --> 0:13:41.085 my heart. And you know we've been together for that. 0:13:41.205 --> 0:13:43.205 This time was like four or five years. Like there's 0:13:43.245 --> 0:13:44.885 a lot of work to do. When we're young, we 0:13:44.925 --> 0:13:47.765 can work through it. And a feeling of doubt and 0:13:47.765 --> 0:13:50.045 that's what we would talk about ago. He goes, I 0:13:50.085 --> 0:13:52.725 think I'm having doubts and I'm not sure why. We 0:13:52.725 --> 0:13:54.685 were always sitting there at night and trying to work 0:13:54.725 --> 0:13:57.245 out why why are you having these doubts anyway? And 0:13:57.285 --> 0:13:59.605 then I always put me in a position where I 0:13:59.605 --> 0:14:01.925 thought I'm doing something wrong. Am I not giving him 0:14:02.405 --> 0:14:04.805 enough love? Am I not challenging him enough? Am I not? 0:14:04.965 --> 0:14:07.045 And then you start to put it on yourself and 0:14:07.085 --> 0:14:10.325 you just don't know what to do, start to feel 0:14:10.365 --> 0:14:13.685 really insecure in your relationship because your partner's starting to 0:14:14.525 --> 0:14:17.765 throw these words and terms that you've never heard before 0:14:17.805 --> 0:14:21.165 in the last few years, and all of a sudden, yeah, 0:14:21.245 --> 0:14:24.765 it just starts to confuse you. Really, the end of 0:14:24.845 --> 0:14:27.245 twenty twenty, once are going to twenty twenty two New 0:14:27.325 --> 0:14:30.925 Year's we had officially had a very big fight, and 0:14:31.165 --> 0:14:34.085 I said, I'm just I cannot be treated like this anymore. 0:14:34.125 --> 0:14:36.005 I can't be with someone who doesn't know what they want. 0:14:36.085 --> 0:14:38.525 I can't be told I want you one day and 0:14:38.565 --> 0:14:41.205 I don't want you the next day. I started to 0:14:41.645 --> 0:14:43.965 take days off from living with him, so we thought 0:14:44.045 --> 0:14:46.685 maybe giving each other space would be good. So a 0:14:46.685 --> 0:14:48.685 few days away from the apartment, I would stay with 0:14:48.765 --> 0:14:52.005 my parents. Obviously, I had a very close relationship with 0:14:52.045 --> 0:14:54.205 my parents. They knew everything, so it was very fine 0:14:54.205 --> 0:14:56.725 to go back home to mine and then he would 0:14:56.765 --> 0:14:58.405 also do the same, so I would come back to 0:14:58.405 --> 0:15:00.445 the apartment and he would spend a few days at 0:15:00.445 --> 0:15:04.165 his parents. And this went on maybe for about one 0:15:04.245 --> 0:15:07.285 or two months, until I just called it and said, 0:15:07.685 --> 0:15:10.285 I'm going to move back home. Throughout that period, he 0:15:10.325 --> 0:15:12.965 still never gave me one hundred percent. We both kind 0:15:13.005 --> 0:15:15.445 of agreed maybe we should take a relationship back and 0:15:15.485 --> 0:15:17.445 I will move out, and maybe he needs to work 0:15:17.485 --> 0:15:20.325 on himself a little bit more and really prove to 0:15:20.365 --> 0:15:22.365 me that he wants to be with me. But the 0:15:22.405 --> 0:15:24.965 best thing for me right now is to move away 0:15:24.965 --> 0:15:27.965 from him, be a bit more independent. It got to 0:15:28.005 --> 0:15:30.725 a point where I didn't want to break up, but 0:15:31.205 --> 0:15:35.445 I knew mentally I cannot go through these emotions anymore. 0:15:35.845 --> 0:15:38.645 It wasn't really a break up, more of a break 0:15:39.005 --> 0:15:41.925 because Emily wanted to be with Josh more than anything, 0:15:42.445 --> 0:15:44.845 and soon he realized that's what he wanted to. 0:15:45.525 --> 0:15:47.965 It was just a rollercoaster those periods of two months, 0:15:48.045 --> 0:15:51.645 three months. When you like someone and your heart is 0:15:51.685 --> 0:15:54.845 still in love with that person, you go back, and 0:15:54.925 --> 0:15:58.485 that's what happened. What he was saying was, this is 0:15:58.525 --> 0:16:01.085 the biggest mistake of my life. I should not have 0:16:01.205 --> 0:16:03.445 told you to move out. I was just going through 0:16:03.445 --> 0:16:06.765 some emotions. I promise you, I'm just working on myself. 0:16:07.245 --> 0:16:10.565 Just a few months apart and will keep seeing each other. 0:16:10.805 --> 0:16:12.725 I'm doing this because I want to be the best 0:16:12.765 --> 0:16:15.805 version for when we are together in the future. He 0:16:16.525 --> 0:16:19.605 who would say about how much he loved me, and 0:16:19.685 --> 0:16:23.605 how much he would say about how it's all about 0:16:23.885 --> 0:16:29.685 building himself for being a better partner later on in life. 0:16:29.965 --> 0:16:34.165 He consistently messaged me every single day, as much as 0:16:34.205 --> 0:16:37.565 I told him, maybe we should just lay off speaking 0:16:37.605 --> 0:16:40.165 for a little bit. That was near and possible because 0:16:40.205 --> 0:16:42.165 I would still get my phone calls, I would still 0:16:42.205 --> 0:16:46.485 get constant messages. It was almost like we never broke up. Really, 0:16:46.565 --> 0:16:50.245 it was just a break from living together. I thought 0:16:50.485 --> 0:16:53.525 he might just be going through some emotional things. Could 0:16:53.525 --> 0:16:55.725 have just been a really hard year with everything going on. 0:16:56.285 --> 0:16:58.605 I put that aside and I said, all right, let's 0:16:58.605 --> 0:17:01.645 work on our relationship. I won't live with you. Let's 0:17:01.725 --> 0:17:04.565 keep moving forward. And we did, and we worked very 0:17:04.605 --> 0:17:07.925 hard for the next two years. So I lived at home, 0:17:08.405 --> 0:17:11.085 he continued to live about a home. I helped him 0:17:11.085 --> 0:17:15.685 find his next apartment. So we were very much still together, 0:17:15.885 --> 0:17:21.085 just not living together. We went to weddings, we traveled, 0:17:21.205 --> 0:17:23.605 and then we went away in the middle of the 0:17:23.725 --> 0:17:27.405 year to South Australia did a two three week wine trip. 0:17:27.445 --> 0:17:29.685 We were really excited because we're like, yes, this is right, 0:17:29.805 --> 0:17:32.525 Like we love being with each other, we love traveling. 0:17:32.965 --> 0:17:36.445 So end of twenty twenty two, I said, look for 0:17:36.485 --> 0:17:39.125 financial reasons, I prefer to live at home. Since our 0:17:39.165 --> 0:17:42.285 relationships working so well, you know, it's really not that different. Now. 0:17:42.885 --> 0:17:45.925 Everything's fine. Our friends know we're back together, our family 0:17:45.965 --> 0:17:49.685 know we're back together. We really are just working well. 0:17:50.205 --> 0:17:52.725 We're both loving each other again. It just kind of 0:17:52.965 --> 0:17:57.445 excelled back to where we were. The fear of like, oh, 0:17:57.525 --> 0:17:59.165 he doesn't want to commit to me had kind of 0:17:59.205 --> 0:18:02.445 disappeared in that period because he started to just give 0:18:02.485 --> 0:18:04.485 me one hundred percent when I was with him, and 0:18:04.565 --> 0:18:06.605 I didn't need to see him every day because he 0:18:06.765 --> 0:18:10.165 was being a healthy partner and that he gave me 0:18:10.245 --> 0:18:13.005 the things that I wanted again and everything was fine. 0:18:13.485 --> 0:18:16.285 We planned a trip for Europe in twenty twenty three 0:18:16.325 --> 0:18:20.325 and we traveled to Europe for six weeks, went with 0:18:21.005 --> 0:18:24.405 just us two and the only thing I would say 0:18:24.405 --> 0:18:27.045 about that trip was that before we went away, I 0:18:27.125 --> 0:18:30.605 was thinking, like would he propose? And before we left 0:18:30.685 --> 0:18:33.045 he kind of said to me when we were sitting 0:18:33.045 --> 0:18:35.525 at the airport, and I remember this, he said, just 0:18:35.605 --> 0:18:38.125 letting you know, I'm not proposing to you because I 0:18:38.325 --> 0:18:40.445 don't think I can afford it right now. And I 0:18:40.485 --> 0:18:43.885 was like, okay, right, and I go, I know that's 0:18:43.925 --> 0:18:46.645 not what the troop's about. I said yes, because an 0:18:46.645 --> 0:18:49.325 engagement won't change anything. We've been together for years, like 0:18:49.765 --> 0:18:51.725 I know this person will do it. And I also 0:18:51.765 --> 0:18:53.685 said to my I'm not asking for it right now, 0:18:53.765 --> 0:18:55.845 like I understand, Like if you're able to show me 0:18:55.845 --> 0:18:57.085 that you love me and that you want to be 0:18:57.125 --> 0:19:00.005 with me and you're still promising me that future, then 0:19:00.085 --> 0:19:02.765 I'm going to agree day you don't need for proposing 0:19:02.765 --> 0:19:04.365 this trip, because you can maybe can do it the 0:19:04.365 --> 0:19:06.485 next one that we go on or the end of 0:19:06.485 --> 0:19:08.765 the year or whatever. There was no I still had 0:19:08.765 --> 0:19:11.485 that certainty from him because he still showed me that 0:19:11.725 --> 0:19:15.205 we would still be potentially getting married even when we're away. 0:19:15.285 --> 0:19:18.685 We're like talking about places that could be nice to 0:19:18.885 --> 0:19:22.925 get married, and especially when we were in Amalfi and Italy, 0:19:22.965 --> 0:19:25.085 we were talking about like, oh gosh, how beautiful would 0:19:25.085 --> 0:19:27.765 be to do our wedding here, Like the intentions were 0:19:27.805 --> 0:19:30.485 always still there. He started to plan like that we 0:19:30.565 --> 0:19:34.085 would get married overseas and maybe a lope overseas and 0:19:34.405 --> 0:19:37.805 have a real intimate wedding with like our closest friends 0:19:37.925 --> 0:19:43.005 and just really he still painted this picture about getting engaged. 0:19:43.325 --> 0:19:47.525 So we go on our trip. Everything was beautiful. It 0:19:47.565 --> 0:19:50.765 was that European trip. Were traveling everywhere, so in love. 0:19:50.965 --> 0:19:53.005 We're like, oh my gosh, like this is amazing. We 0:19:53.045 --> 0:19:56.445 can't wait to do this again. And then we come 0:19:56.525 --> 0:20:01.045 back and something changes again. I don't know what it was. 0:20:01.205 --> 0:20:03.525 I could not figure it out, but he starts to 0:20:03.565 --> 0:20:08.405 become the most up and down person I've ever met. 0:20:08.485 --> 0:20:11.885 So leading up to Europe, everything was fine. We go away, 0:20:11.925 --> 0:20:14.205 we come back, and he just becomes a person of 0:20:14.285 --> 0:20:16.125 doubts and insecurities again. 0:20:18.405 --> 0:20:22.125 It was an absolute rollercoaster. But Emily wanted to stick 0:20:22.165 --> 0:20:24.925 by him and help him. It had been almost seven 0:20:25.005 --> 0:20:28.525 years they've been together now, and she loved him, didn't she. 0:20:29.485 --> 0:20:35.365 We get to around February, he starts to really change, 0:20:35.525 --> 0:20:38.565 and this is a side of him I've never seen before. 0:20:39.245 --> 0:20:42.885 So this is when I start questioning if I want 0:20:42.885 --> 0:20:45.205 to be with this person anymore? Am I really going 0:20:45.245 --> 0:20:48.405 to be waiting around for someone to make up their mind? 0:20:48.685 --> 0:20:55.245 And the way he would talk to me was irritable, angry, tired. 0:20:56.285 --> 0:20:58.725 He didn't treat me how I was treated in the 0:20:58.765 --> 0:21:01.605