1 00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:21,674 Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mom and mea podcast. Welcome to 2 00:00:21,714 --> 00:00:24,234 Speaker 1: Parenting out Loud, the podcast for parents who don't normally 3 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:27,114 Speaker 1: listen to parenting podcasts. Right, We don't teach you how 4 00:00:27,154 --> 00:00:30,234 Speaker 1: to parent. We don't bring you the helpful parenting hacks. 5 00:00:30,274 --> 00:00:32,754 Speaker 2: We don't have any. No, don't turn to ask for 6 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,394 Speaker 2: parenting hacks. We do not have them. 7 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,394 Speaker 1: We don't. What we try to do is makes sense 8 00:00:36,434 --> 00:00:38,714 Speaker 1: of why parenting feels so intense right now? 9 00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:40,394 Speaker 2: Yes, so, because it does. 10 00:00:40,754 --> 00:00:43,434 Speaker 1: It does. So we bring you sort of trends and 11 00:00:43,473 --> 00:00:45,674 Speaker 1: the culture and the news, and we just try to 12 00:00:45,714 --> 00:00:47,714 Speaker 1: make sense of what's happening out there. 13 00:00:48,394 --> 00:00:51,353 Speaker 3: My name is Monic Bolly, I'm Amelia Lester, and I'm 14 00:00:51,394 --> 00:00:52,273 Speaker 3: Stacy Hicks. 15 00:00:52,354 --> 00:00:56,194 Speaker 1: I'm in the Big Smoke today. Yes, bitter, have you 16 00:00:56,314 --> 00:00:59,754 Speaker 1: here quickbone to pick with? Sydney go if I may. 17 00:01:00,634 --> 00:01:02,754 Speaker 1: I am staying in a place where there's a view 18 00:01:02,914 --> 00:01:06,714 Speaker 1: of the Sydney Harbor Bridge and I'm so excited, and 19 00:01:06,754 --> 00:01:09,834 Speaker 1: then at night time it's just dark and dank. They 20 00:01:09,874 --> 00:01:13,314 Speaker 1: don't light that shit up. It's like, what the fuck, Sydney, 21 00:01:13,394 --> 00:01:16,354 Speaker 1: you got this thing? Isn't this the jewel in your crown? 22 00:01:16,594 --> 00:01:18,914 Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you string some fairy lights on the Sydney 23 00:01:18,914 --> 00:01:19,594 Speaker 1: Harbor Bridge. 24 00:01:19,674 --> 00:01:21,634 Speaker 3: But can you imagine what a bitch that would be 25 00:01:21,674 --> 00:01:23,594 Speaker 3: to go and change them if one of them blew? 26 00:01:24,034 --> 00:01:26,434 Speaker 3: If you know, like when you're Christmas lights and one's missing. 27 00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:29,434 Speaker 1: It is literally you put it on your postcards, you 28 00:01:29,474 --> 00:01:31,514 Speaker 1: put it everywhere, like put some lights on it. 29 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:34,834 Speaker 2: You guys think this is terrible. I have Christmas lights 30 00:01:34,874 --> 00:01:37,234 Speaker 2: up in my house all year round, like framing a 31 00:01:37,274 --> 00:01:39,714 Speaker 2: doorway because we have a kind of like dark part 32 00:01:39,754 --> 00:01:42,354 Speaker 2: of the apartment. And I just think it cheers it up. 33 00:01:42,594 --> 00:01:47,194 Speaker 2: That's so whimsic, it is. I am nothing if not whimsical. 34 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,434 Speaker 2: What have we got coming up today? 35 00:01:48,474 --> 00:01:51,834 Speaker 1: Okay, coming up today? The Perrington trend that will change 36 00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,114 Speaker 1: the way you look at weekends. 37 00:01:53,434 --> 00:01:57,594 Speaker 3: And are you a driveway waving family? It says everything 38 00:01:57,634 --> 00:01:58,034 Speaker 3: about you. 39 00:01:58,554 --> 00:02:01,674 Speaker 2: And look, there's a nineteen eighties book that is being 40 00:02:01,874 --> 00:02:05,954 Speaker 2: used to answer the age old question of weather to 41 00:02:06,074 --> 00:02:08,554 Speaker 2: have children talk about what's in the book. 42 00:02:08,714 --> 00:02:11,714 Speaker 3: But first, have you noticed that there's a real trend 43 00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:14,994 Speaker 3: now of all the Hollywood mums being wheeled out. We 44 00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:17,434 Speaker 3: spoke a couple of weeks ago about Jacob Alord's mum's 45 00:02:17,434 --> 00:02:20,074 Speaker 3: on the red car. But with him, Timothy shaller May 46 00:02:20,154 --> 00:02:22,353 Speaker 3: took his mum and they were doing like joint interviews 47 00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:24,914 Speaker 3: at the sag Or. They called it the Actor Awards. Now, 48 00:02:24,954 --> 00:02:26,594 Speaker 3: I don't know why they had to change it. And 49 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:30,154 Speaker 3: like Leo DiCaprio takes his mum sometimes, so we don't 50 00:02:30,154 --> 00:02:32,274 Speaker 3: forget that he just dates twenty seven year olds. It's 51 00:02:32,354 --> 00:02:37,354 Speaker 3: very wholesome, very lovely. And now Paul Mescal's mom Durvla Mescal. 52 00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:39,554 Speaker 3: I should say it in a beautiful Irish accent, but 53 00:02:39,794 --> 00:02:44,714 Speaker 3: I won't do Mescal. She's written her own book, so 54 00:02:44,754 --> 00:02:47,714 Speaker 3: she's doing her own press run at the moment. It's 55 00:02:47,714 --> 00:02:51,314 Speaker 3: about overcoming cancer. She was diagnosed with cancer a couple 56 00:02:51,394 --> 00:02:54,394 Speaker 3: of years ago. She's got this really inspirational way of 57 00:02:54,434 --> 00:02:57,194 Speaker 3: looking at life. There was a particular piece when she 58 00:02:57,274 --> 00:02:59,554 Speaker 3: was on the Beginn Again podcast where she talked about 59 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:02,354 Speaker 3: how she raised Paul and his siblings, and I love it. 60 00:03:02,394 --> 00:03:04,314 Speaker 2: Take a listen. I am a yes parent. 61 00:03:04,634 --> 00:03:09,754 Speaker 1: I would say yes to anything that was about their dreams. 62 00:03:09,874 --> 00:03:11,394 Speaker 2: It was yes, how are we going to do that? 63 00:03:11,714 --> 00:03:15,194 Speaker 4: So yes, they saw that if we're saying yes to this, 64 00:03:15,594 --> 00:03:19,474 Speaker 4: what has to happen in our house or in your life, 65 00:03:19,514 --> 00:03:22,234 Speaker 4: Like if you want to play football and rugby and hurling, 66 00:03:22,714 --> 00:03:25,994 Speaker 4: how do we get to all those places? And I 67 00:03:26,074 --> 00:03:28,994 Speaker 4: maybe we didn't get the new kitchen, We didn't do 68 00:03:29,074 --> 00:03:33,274 Speaker 4: those kind of things because we were doing something, we 69 00:03:33,274 --> 00:03:34,234 Speaker 4: were doing something different. 70 00:03:34,634 --> 00:03:39,114 Speaker 2: Okay, question, what if the question that the child is 71 00:03:39,194 --> 00:03:42,754 Speaker 2: asking is can I play Minecraft all day every day? 72 00:03:43,834 --> 00:03:46,834 Speaker 2: Because like, I'd be delighted if my children were asking 73 00:03:46,874 --> 00:03:50,114 Speaker 2: to play three sports. But that's not what's happening. Yeah, 74 00:03:50,154 --> 00:03:51,554 Speaker 2: that's true, that's true. 75 00:03:51,594 --> 00:03:53,954 Speaker 3: She probably did need to have some caveats around that 76 00:03:53,954 --> 00:03:55,994 Speaker 3: that she wasn't just saying yes to everything. 77 00:03:56,394 --> 00:03:57,154 Speaker 2: I'm with you. 78 00:03:57,354 --> 00:03:59,754 Speaker 1: Back then, when she was parenting a young child, there 79 00:03:59,794 --> 00:04:03,754 Speaker 1: was no Internet, that was like it was four channels 80 00:04:03,794 --> 00:04:04,434 Speaker 1: on the table. 81 00:04:04,754 --> 00:04:07,754 Speaker 2: Was asking to do three sports, and so of course 82 00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:09,794 Speaker 2: I would say yes, and I would say in a lilting, 83 00:04:09,794 --> 00:04:14,234 Speaker 2: beautiful Irish accent with inexplicable piano music tinkling behind me. Yeah, 84 00:04:14,274 --> 00:04:17,434 Speaker 2: But in twenty twenty six, they're not asking to play 85 00:04:17,514 --> 00:04:21,154 Speaker 2: three sports. They're asking to play computer games all day. Yes, okay, 86 00:04:21,274 --> 00:04:22,633 Speaker 2: that's true. Agree, that's true. 87 00:04:22,634 --> 00:04:25,153 Speaker 3: But I guess she was saying it's not an unlimited Yes. 88 00:04:25,313 --> 00:04:27,153 Speaker 3: She was like, you can have that, but we have 89 00:04:27,274 --> 00:04:29,074 Speaker 3: to forgo this. Like she went on to speak about 90 00:04:29,073 --> 00:04:31,234 Speaker 3: how none of them had their own rooms, like that 91 00:04:31,274 --> 00:04:33,194 Speaker 3: they lived with not a lot, but that she did 92 00:04:33,193 --> 00:04:34,753 Speaker 3: that because she kind of wanted to give them the 93 00:04:34,753 --> 00:04:36,033 Speaker 3: things they were passionate about. 94 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,313 Speaker 2: But flaw in the plan if your passion. 95 00:04:38,073 --> 00:04:43,753 Speaker 1: Is money, Stacy, I see your celebrity mums being wheeled down, 96 00:04:44,154 --> 00:04:48,113 Speaker 1: and I'd like to raise you celebrity wholesome dads. 97 00:04:48,234 --> 00:04:50,073 Speaker 2: Oh we do love them, don't we. We do. 98 00:04:50,234 --> 00:04:51,873 Speaker 1: We talk a lot about good dads on this show 99 00:04:51,873 --> 00:04:54,313 Speaker 1: and how fatherhood is changing, and every week it feels 100 00:04:54,354 --> 00:04:57,513 Speaker 1: like there's some dad on the Internet doing something domestic 101 00:04:57,633 --> 00:05:00,553 Speaker 1: and we love it. Right, it's a good pr it's 102 00:05:00,553 --> 00:05:01,393 Speaker 1: good for everyone. 103 00:05:01,474 --> 00:05:04,714 Speaker 2: We're so basic, aren't we. We just eat it right off, so. 104 00:05:04,753 --> 00:05:06,433 Speaker 1: Much so that I almost think it could be a 105 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:09,794 Speaker 1: segment like Good Dads of the Internet. And today I 106 00:05:09,834 --> 00:05:11,953 Speaker 1: would like to induct Matt Damon. 107 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:15,953 Speaker 2: I love Matt Damon. I just love his face. 108 00:05:16,154 --> 00:05:20,754 Speaker 1: Yes, Saving Private Ryan Goodwill, hunting the Jason Bourne Born Yeah, 109 00:05:20,794 --> 00:05:24,753 Speaker 1: somethink you well. He popped up on the podcast New Heights, 110 00:05:24,794 --> 00:05:28,354 Speaker 1: which is Travis Kelsey's podcast, Who's Taylor swift Field S? 111 00:05:28,633 --> 00:05:29,073 Speaker 2: Correct? 112 00:05:29,393 --> 00:05:33,234 Speaker 1: And he talked about his parenting advice, and it's just 113 00:05:33,513 --> 00:05:34,753 Speaker 1: two words, how to listen. 114 00:05:34,993 --> 00:05:37,313 Speaker 2: That's a question too. First thing I tell people with 115 00:05:37,474 --> 00:05:40,274 Speaker 2: advice with kids is don't listen to any advice anybody else. 116 00:05:42,073 --> 00:05:43,034 Speaker 2: You got to figure it out. 117 00:05:43,073 --> 00:05:45,394 Speaker 5: An old friend of mine said, when my nineteen year 118 00:05:45,393 --> 00:05:49,313 Speaker 5: old was probably eighteen months said, don't blink. That is real. 119 00:05:49,594 --> 00:05:49,914 Speaker 4: Yeah. 120 00:05:49,953 --> 00:05:52,153 Speaker 5: My daughter broke her collar bone and this morning she 121 00:05:52,193 --> 00:05:55,073 Speaker 5: was getting ready for school. She's seventeen. She asked me 122 00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:58,113 Speaker 5: to brush her hair. So I brushed her hair, and 123 00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:01,153 Speaker 5: a man, it was a like I hadn't brushed your hair. 124 00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:03,794 Speaker 5: I don't know, eight nine years, you know what I mean. Yeah, 125 00:06:03,873 --> 00:06:06,234 Speaker 5: you're at that stage now where it's like you get 126 00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:08,753 Speaker 5: them ready to do all of it. They're lined up. 127 00:06:10,113 --> 00:06:11,834 Speaker 5: I don't remember when I brush her hair for the 128 00:06:11,953 --> 00:06:15,233 Speaker 5: last time. It just kind of happened, and then life 129 00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:18,074 Speaker 5: kind of kept going and the changes are so incremental 130 00:06:18,474 --> 00:06:21,713 Speaker 5: that like, you don't realize until I ran the hair 131 00:06:21,753 --> 00:06:24,433 Speaker 5: brush through her hair and it's the same yeah, and 132 00:06:24,474 --> 00:06:26,594 Speaker 5: it buckled me. Man, So don't blink. 133 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:29,953 Speaker 2: I have to admit that. Ever since I listened to 134 00:06:29,953 --> 00:06:32,913 Speaker 2: this clip last week. I've been thinking of little else. 135 00:06:33,354 --> 00:06:37,514 Speaker 2: I think it's really profound and true, and it's something 136 00:06:37,553 --> 00:06:41,474 Speaker 2: that only the parents of older children can truly tell us. 137 00:06:41,873 --> 00:06:44,194 Speaker 2: But I will say that, even looking back at baby 138 00:06:44,274 --> 00:06:47,553 Speaker 2: photos of my children, I don't understand how the time went. 139 00:06:48,113 --> 00:06:50,914 Speaker 1: I didn't feel that at all. What I can't get 140 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:55,234 Speaker 1: past is this weird thing where now I feel like 141 00:06:55,354 --> 00:06:58,713 Speaker 1: all these men on the internet, these dads on the Internet, 142 00:06:58,993 --> 00:07:01,633 Speaker 1: I just kind of talking about the domestic sphere in 143 00:07:01,674 --> 00:07:03,393 Speaker 1: a way that I don't know. I just feel like 144 00:07:03,474 --> 00:07:05,953 Speaker 1: leading men in Hollywood used to be like mysterious, like 145 00:07:06,073 --> 00:07:09,193 Speaker 1: you know, smoking a cigar in a beautiful lounge somewhere 146 00:07:09,234 --> 00:07:11,754 Speaker 1: and not even thinking of a domestic thing. And now 147 00:07:11,794 --> 00:07:14,754 Speaker 1: there's just every time I open my phone and look 148 00:07:14,754 --> 00:07:17,114 Speaker 1: at the Internet, there's some other dad talking about some 149 00:07:17,234 --> 00:07:19,234 Speaker 1: domestic thing, and I don't know, I feel kind of 150 00:07:19,274 --> 00:07:21,794 Speaker 1: cynical about it, Like is it a pr thing seriously 151 00:07:21,953 --> 00:07:27,234 Speaker 1: to position them as wholesome, grounded, reliable, trustworthy. What's going 152 00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:31,194 Speaker 1: on here? Because also this week Macaulay Culkin was at 153 00:07:31,393 --> 00:07:34,554 Speaker 1: some it's fashion week in Paris or something. Macaulay Culkin's there, 154 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:37,473 Speaker 1: Who's got two young children, four and two. I think 155 00:07:37,714 --> 00:07:42,273 Speaker 1: wearing a door jumper with the very hungry caterpillar written 156 00:07:42,274 --> 00:07:44,914 Speaker 1: on it, and it's just an interesting pr positioning thing. 157 00:07:44,953 --> 00:07:47,514 Speaker 2: I think. Oh, I love it. I think it is 158 00:07:47,594 --> 00:07:48,033 Speaker 2: so sweet. 159 00:07:48,074 --> 00:07:50,554 Speaker 3: It did make me emotional, but it also made me 160 00:07:50,634 --> 00:07:53,594 Speaker 3: go I have to blink. I have to blink at 161 00:07:53,594 --> 00:07:56,393 Speaker 3: some point? How do I stop this? How do I 162 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:59,034 Speaker 3: slow it down? But I love the dads in Hollywood 163 00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:00,794 Speaker 3: are talking about it more. I think it's just kind 164 00:08:00,834 --> 00:08:02,874 Speaker 3: of bringing it up to par with what women have 165 00:08:02,953 --> 00:08:03,994 Speaker 3: been doing all along. 166 00:08:06,034 --> 00:08:09,154 Speaker 2: Okay, the three of us are elder millennials. Excuse me, 167 00:08:09,234 --> 00:08:09,994 Speaker 2: I'm sorry we are. 168 00:08:10,434 --> 00:08:13,114 Speaker 3: I'm not How old do you two think I am? 169 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,394 Speaker 3: I'm the baby of question? 170 00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:20,674 Speaker 2: Isn't it moving on? Young millennials have one question on 171 00:08:20,714 --> 00:08:23,954 Speaker 2: their minds. Yeah, and that question. Yeah, like you, you 172 00:08:23,994 --> 00:08:27,234 Speaker 2: don't have this question on your mind. That's you're a 173 00:08:27,234 --> 00:08:30,194 Speaker 2: young millennial. Put me in your bucket. The question they're 174 00:08:30,234 --> 00:08:32,754 Speaker 2: asking is whether or not to have children? Is that 175 00:08:32,834 --> 00:08:36,354 Speaker 2: a question that you're wondering about, Stacy? I didn't think so. 176 00:08:37,114 --> 00:08:39,554 Speaker 2: And according to the cut, these women who were in 177 00:08:39,594 --> 00:08:44,154 Speaker 2: their early thirties early thirties are tuning into a book 178 00:08:44,154 --> 00:08:46,754 Speaker 2: published in nineteen eighty one to help them answer it, 179 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:49,554 Speaker 2: and that book was called The Baby Decision. It's by 180 00:08:49,554 --> 00:08:54,674 Speaker 2: a therapist called Merl Bombardieri. There's a lot of fascinating 181 00:08:54,714 --> 00:08:57,154 Speaker 2: aspects of this book and why it is so relevant 182 00:08:57,194 --> 00:09:01,394 Speaker 2: right now. This therapist who wrote it uses gender neutral pronouns. 183 00:09:01,514 --> 00:09:05,434 Speaker 2: She legitimizes both having children and not having children as 184 00:09:05,714 --> 00:09:09,754 Speaker 2: choices a feminist could make. The basic premise of it 185 00:09:09,794 --> 00:09:13,554 Speaker 2: is to visualize yourself in a rocking chair at seventy five, 186 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:16,754 Speaker 2: So it's called the rocking chair test. So picture yourself 187 00:09:16,874 --> 00:09:19,034 Speaker 2: in this rocking chair and you've actually got another rocking 188 00:09:19,114 --> 00:09:21,474 Speaker 2: chair next to you, and move between the two rocking chairs, 189 00:09:21,514 --> 00:09:24,354 Speaker 2: and one of them is having children and one of 190 00:09:24,394 --> 00:09:26,994 Speaker 2: them is not having children, and think about how you 191 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:30,594 Speaker 2: will feel in that rocking chair at seventy five. Love it. 192 00:09:30,674 --> 00:09:32,594 Speaker 2: I think it's such a powerful. 193 00:09:32,274 --> 00:09:36,714 Speaker 1: Exerciseing just seventy five or like fifty five forty five. 194 00:09:36,754 --> 00:09:40,354 Speaker 2: Just seventy five, okay, And you need to actually visualize 195 00:09:40,354 --> 00:09:43,514 Speaker 2: yourself in the rocking chair. Does that work for you? 196 00:09:43,714 --> 00:09:46,474 Speaker 2: It doesn't exercise completely? And do you think that's why 197 00:09:46,514 --> 00:09:48,714 Speaker 2: this book is striking a chord? Right now it's just 198 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,874 Speaker 2: because it is an age old question and here's a 199 00:09:51,914 --> 00:09:54,674 Speaker 2: really cool way of figuring out whether or not to 200 00:09:54,754 --> 00:09:55,394 Speaker 2: go for it. 201 00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:59,154 Speaker 1: I think it's striking a chord because, first of all, 202 00:09:59,274 --> 00:10:03,154 Speaker 1: the gig is up, birth rates are plummeting, and I 203 00:10:03,194 --> 00:10:06,594 Speaker 1: do feel like the discourse is more than ever. People 204 00:10:06,634 --> 00:10:08,354 Speaker 1: are saying, I'm not sure if this is for me 205 00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:12,394 Speaker 1: and having a child, building a family just isn't the 206 00:10:12,474 --> 00:10:15,914 Speaker 1: default anymore like it used to be because women have 207 00:10:15,994 --> 00:10:18,554 Speaker 1: more options now. But then with that, the cost of 208 00:10:18,594 --> 00:10:20,954 Speaker 1: living is so high. Climate change is a real worry 209 00:10:20,994 --> 00:10:23,474 Speaker 1: for people that are thinking about having children. What I 210 00:10:23,474 --> 00:10:25,794 Speaker 1: think is interesting about this book is this psychiatrist. Is 211 00:10:25,794 --> 00:10:29,554 Speaker 1: she a psychologist, she's a therapist. Okay, she remains completely neutral. 212 00:10:29,834 --> 00:10:32,554 Speaker 1: She's not one way or the other. She's just saying, 213 00:10:33,514 --> 00:10:36,754 Speaker 1: both choices involve loss, Which one are you going to choose? 214 00:10:37,394 --> 00:10:39,354 Speaker 1: And I think it's a really interesting kind of neutral 215 00:10:39,394 --> 00:10:43,234 Speaker 1: approach that people have been wanting because it is so loaded. 216 00:10:43,474 --> 00:10:46,274 Speaker 1: All the discourse around this is completely loaded, no matter 217 00:10:46,314 --> 00:10:47,114 Speaker 1: which way you look at it. 218 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,354 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was my favorite bit about it, Like you 219 00:10:49,354 --> 00:10:51,914 Speaker 3: said about the rocking chair, but she also spoke about 220 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:54,994 Speaker 3: imagine your child as an infant, imagine them as a 221 00:10:55,034 --> 00:10:57,634 Speaker 3: school kid, imagine them as a moody teenager, and then 222 00:10:57,674 --> 00:10:58,314 Speaker 3: imagine them. 223 00:10:58,274 --> 00:10:58,954 Speaker 2: As an adult. 224 00:10:59,314 --> 00:11:00,834 Speaker 3: And I think a lot of what people do when 225 00:11:00,874 --> 00:11:04,034 Speaker 3: they're trying to make this decision is think about a baby. Yes, 226 00:11:04,074 --> 00:11:06,754 Speaker 3: but like that is such a small part of what 227 00:11:06,794 --> 00:11:10,074 Speaker 3: it actually is. It's thinking about a human that will kind 228 00:11:10,074 --> 00:11:12,394 Speaker 3: of move with you through a period of your life. 229 00:11:12,634 --> 00:11:14,354 Speaker 3: And one of the women that they interviewed in the 230 00:11:14,354 --> 00:11:16,434 Speaker 3: cart said that did reframe it for her because the 231 00:11:16,474 --> 00:11:18,874 Speaker 3: newborn thing freaked her out, but even the thought of 232 00:11:18,914 --> 00:11:22,154 Speaker 3: the moody teenager and the adult seemed quite appealing to her, 233 00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:25,674 Speaker 3: So it kind of moved that thought along. But I 234 00:11:25,714 --> 00:11:27,714 Speaker 3: also think, as you said, there was not a real 235 00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:30,994 Speaker 3: anxiety around whether you had children or not fifty years ago. 236 00:11:31,034 --> 00:11:34,114 Speaker 3: I think it was more just the natural path of life. 237 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,994 Speaker 3: And now we're thinking about. 238 00:11:35,794 --> 00:11:36,714 Speaker 2: It so much more. 239 00:11:37,074 --> 00:11:39,034 Speaker 3: But we're also thinking about it in terms of how 240 00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:41,594 Speaker 3: many kids to have, Like the same thing applies you go, 241 00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:44,634 Speaker 3: is that too many? How will we afford that? What 242 00:11:44,754 --> 00:11:47,634 Speaker 3: about Yeah, as you said, climate change, Like all of those. 243 00:11:47,394 --> 00:11:50,314 Speaker 2: Things come into it. That idea of the stages and 244 00:11:50,434 --> 00:11:53,794 Speaker 2: visualizing them, I think is really powerful. Although there was 245 00:11:53,834 --> 00:11:56,994 Speaker 2: an accompanying article in the Cup that was for women 246 00:11:57,074 --> 00:12:00,634 Speaker 2: speaking anonymously on the fact that they regret having children. 247 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,754 Speaker 2: It was kind of like a package with this piece. 248 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:06,834 Speaker 2: And what I thought was a bit flawed in that 249 00:12:07,234 --> 00:12:11,473 Speaker 2: article was that it only spoke to women who had babies. 250 00:12:12,354 --> 00:12:14,914 Speaker 2: Every single one of those four women was still in 251 00:12:15,074 --> 00:12:18,314 Speaker 2: the if not the newborn stage, then the baby stage, 252 00:12:18,794 --> 00:12:21,754 Speaker 2: and I think that's a really hard stage. Yeah, and 253 00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:25,434 Speaker 2: I can totally see how when your hormones are fluctuating, 254 00:12:25,754 --> 00:12:28,674 Speaker 2: when you're dealing a lot of the time with breastfeeding 255 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:31,874 Speaker 2: or recovering from birth, which is oftentimes traumatic. A lot 256 00:12:31,954 --> 00:12:34,554 Speaker 2: of the women in this piece had traumatic births. I 257 00:12:34,594 --> 00:12:38,154 Speaker 2: think that that's understandable to feel those feelings of regret. 258 00:12:38,314 --> 00:12:41,434 Speaker 2: But that's why this book is powerful in reminding you, 259 00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:45,154 Speaker 2: just like Matt Damon did, that there are different stages 260 00:12:45,194 --> 00:12:45,953 Speaker 2: that you're going to go. 261 00:12:45,954 --> 00:12:48,514 Speaker 3: Through as a parent, and she kind of encourages you 262 00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,874 Speaker 3: to be very pragmatic about it, like you were saying, 263 00:12:50,914 --> 00:12:53,514 Speaker 3: Mom's like, whether you have kids or no kids or 264 00:12:53,554 --> 00:12:55,754 Speaker 3: four kids, there's always going to be a path that 265 00:12:55,794 --> 00:12:57,714 Speaker 3: you didn't take, and you're never going to know what 266 00:12:57,794 --> 00:13:00,794 Speaker 3: the other path is, so it's completely normal to grieve 267 00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:03,594 Speaker 3: that or to question that. Like I've spoken on the 268 00:13:03,634 --> 00:13:07,114 Speaker 3: show before about how I've chosen to stop at one child, 269 00:13:07,474 --> 00:13:09,834 Speaker 3: and with that comes a lot of fear around is 270 00:13:09,874 --> 00:13:12,634 Speaker 3: that the right decision? But so does it at every stage, 271 00:13:12,674 --> 00:13:14,754 Speaker 3: whether to have them, whether to have three, whether I 272 00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:17,354 Speaker 3: have you know, it's a constant choice that you have 273 00:13:17,394 --> 00:13:19,034 Speaker 3: to make, So you just kind of have to sit 274 00:13:19,074 --> 00:13:19,994 Speaker 3: in the ambivalence. 275 00:13:20,154 --> 00:13:21,194 Speaker 2: And that's what she's saying. 276 00:13:21,474 --> 00:13:23,474 Speaker 1: So back to the book. So you're saying, this is 277 00:13:23,474 --> 00:13:25,314 Speaker 1: a book written in the nineteen eighties and it's having 278 00:13:25,394 --> 00:13:28,594 Speaker 1: this massive resurgency now because people are facing it and 279 00:13:28,634 --> 00:13:30,474 Speaker 1: people can't find a sort of path through it. 280 00:13:30,634 --> 00:13:31,834 Speaker 2: Yep, that's so interesting. 281 00:13:31,954 --> 00:13:35,114 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like it's all over Reddit subgroups are posting about 282 00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:36,794 Speaker 3: this book now and being like this is the one. 283 00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:42,154 Speaker 3: There's a subreddit group called fence sitting, like baby fence Sitting. 284 00:13:42,474 --> 00:13:44,434 Speaker 3: That's where everyone's kind of talking about this and going 285 00:13:44,474 --> 00:13:46,314 Speaker 3: this will actually give you the answers because it takes 286 00:13:46,354 --> 00:13:47,154 Speaker 3: it back to basics. 287 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:50,234 Speaker 1: The other problem with it is it in the nineteen eighties, 288 00:13:50,354 --> 00:13:53,834 Speaker 1: farenting was very different. Yeah, film feels much more intense 289 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,914 Speaker 1: and complex now with what we're dealing with with as 290 00:13:55,954 --> 00:13:59,834 Speaker 1: I mentioned climate change with AI, does this author need 291 00:13:59,874 --> 00:14:00,994 Speaker 1: to write an updated version? 292 00:14:01,234 --> 00:14:03,354 Speaker 2: She actually is working on one, and I'm glad she 293 00:14:03,594 --> 00:14:08,274 Speaker 2: is because one slight sort of qualm I had about 294 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,874 Speaker 2: younger millennials relying on this book written in nineteen eighty 295 00:14:11,914 --> 00:14:16,154 Speaker 2: one is that we are dealing with things now that 296 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:19,274 Speaker 2: no other generation of parents has had to deal with Now. 297 00:14:19,314 --> 00:14:21,554 Speaker 2: I'm sure every generation of parents has had it rough. 298 00:14:21,554 --> 00:14:24,354 Speaker 2: I don't think it was easy raising children in prehistoric times, 299 00:14:24,554 --> 00:14:26,914 Speaker 2: having to go out and hunt and gather. I think 300 00:14:26,914 --> 00:14:28,314 Speaker 2: it would have been very bad at that. I would 301 00:14:28,354 --> 00:14:32,434 Speaker 2: prefer to go to Col's. But nonetheless, we have issues 302 00:14:32,474 --> 00:14:36,794 Speaker 2: now that do feel existential in nature. So we've mentioned 303 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:39,154 Speaker 2: climate change, but to me, the more pressing one is 304 00:14:39,194 --> 00:14:43,554 Speaker 2: actually increasingly artificial intelligence. I read an article in the 305 00:14:43,594 --> 00:14:47,194 Speaker 2: Sydney Morning Herald this weekend that stopped me in my tracks. 306 00:14:47,434 --> 00:14:49,674 Speaker 2: It was called, what are the kids going to do? 307 00:14:50,274 --> 00:14:53,594 Speaker 2: This week's job losses are the Ripple before the Tsunami. 308 00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:56,594 Speaker 2: It's by the columnist Malcolm Knox, and it really hit 309 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:59,594 Speaker 2: me like a gut punch. Basically in the piece, now 310 00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:02,714 Speaker 2: look I'm going to preface this by saying, don't turn off. 311 00:15:02,794 --> 00:15:06,354 Speaker 2: I know AI is both boring and terrifying at the 312 00:15:06,354 --> 00:15:08,874 Speaker 2: same time, kind of like sitting on a plane for 313 00:15:08,914 --> 00:15:11,234 Speaker 2: a long time where you have the turbulence. It's somehow 314 00:15:11,314 --> 00:15:15,434 Speaker 2: boring and terrifying, which is the worst combination. But the 315 00:15:15,554 --> 00:15:19,234 Speaker 2: reason why we wanted to talk about it today is 316 00:15:19,314 --> 00:15:24,274 Speaker 2: because I'm finding that it's increasingly dominating my feelings about 317 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,594 Speaker 2: how to raise children. It's just a thing that I'm 318 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,674 Speaker 2: thinking about more and more, and it wouldn't be right 319 00:15:28,714 --> 00:15:30,834 Speaker 2: for us to not talk about that on this show. 320 00:15:31,154 --> 00:15:34,234 Speaker 1: So in contrast, I haven't thought about it at all. 321 00:15:34,754 --> 00:15:35,354 Speaker 2: What do you think? 322 00:15:35,754 --> 00:15:36,314 Speaker 1: What's wrong? 323 00:15:36,514 --> 00:15:40,594 Speaker 2: So Malcolm Knox writes, I never imagined feeling so helpless 324 00:15:40,594 --> 00:15:43,274 Speaker 2: as a parent as he does in this moment, because 325 00:15:43,314 --> 00:15:46,714 Speaker 2: he writes that the intergenerational contract to leave our children 326 00:15:46,754 --> 00:15:49,794 Speaker 2: in a better world than we found it is broken. Basically, 327 00:15:49,794 --> 00:15:53,274 Speaker 2: the TLDR is AI isn't just going to come for 328 00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:56,234 Speaker 2: entry level jobs. It's going to potentially come for all 329 00:15:56,354 --> 00:15:59,914 Speaker 2: white collar jobs. So the notion of telling your children 330 00:16:00,154 --> 00:16:03,234 Speaker 2: that education is really important, that they should try and 331 00:16:03,274 --> 00:16:06,834 Speaker 2: pursue education to the utmost of their abilities and interest 332 00:16:06,874 --> 00:16:09,234 Speaker 2: in and potentially go to university if that's what they're 333 00:16:09,274 --> 00:16:12,634 Speaker 2: interested in. None of that is a given anymore, and 334 00:16:12,674 --> 00:16:15,594 Speaker 2: it's really hard to figure out what to tell children 335 00:16:16,234 --> 00:16:21,714 Speaker 2: about work and Korea when we simply don't know what 336 00:16:21,754 --> 00:16:24,794 Speaker 2: the workforce is going to look like in the next 337 00:16:24,874 --> 00:16:26,234 Speaker 2: five to ten years. 338 00:16:26,554 --> 00:16:29,474 Speaker 1: I feel less panicked about it than you do. Tell 339 00:16:29,514 --> 00:16:31,674 Speaker 1: me what I'm getting wrong here. So let's go back 340 00:16:31,674 --> 00:16:34,434 Speaker 1: in the way back machine to little history lesson, like 341 00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:37,154 Speaker 1: when the Industrial Revolution came in in the eighteen hundreds, 342 00:16:37,434 --> 00:16:39,634 Speaker 1: Like if you wanted a shirt, someone had to grow 343 00:16:39,674 --> 00:16:43,794 Speaker 1: the cotton and then spin it into fabric and then 344 00:16:44,114 --> 00:16:46,234 Speaker 1: sew a shirt, and there was your shirt. And then 345 00:16:46,274 --> 00:16:49,474 Speaker 1: all these machines started coming in and actually just pumping 346 00:16:49,474 --> 00:16:52,274 Speaker 1: out shirts, and everyone panicked like, oh god. All the 347 00:16:52,354 --> 00:16:54,674 Speaker 1: ludd arts were saying, oh no, we're all going to 348 00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:58,514 Speaker 1: lose our jobs as cotton growers. And instead what happened 349 00:16:58,594 --> 00:17:01,474 Speaker 1: was a whole new industry was created and more jobs 350 00:17:01,474 --> 00:17:04,034 Speaker 1: were created. So it was just a shift and a change. 351 00:17:04,074 --> 00:17:05,794 Speaker 1: Are we not just going to see the same thing 352 00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:08,954 Speaker 1: happen with AI? New job's going to be created? Is 353 00:17:09,594 --> 00:17:12,194 Speaker 1: potentially what's different about AI. 354 00:17:12,314 --> 00:17:15,273 Speaker 2: It's a really good question. Maybe it's not different, but 355 00:17:15,514 --> 00:17:19,353 Speaker 2: the Industrial Revolution was a century or more ago. I 356 00:17:19,394 --> 00:17:23,194 Speaker 2: think what feels different to say how our parents parented 357 00:17:23,914 --> 00:17:28,314 Speaker 2: is that we don't have ready made advice for our children. 358 00:17:28,754 --> 00:17:31,914 Speaker 2: Like when I was growing up, it was sort of 359 00:17:31,994 --> 00:17:35,834 Speaker 2: like the most lucrative thing you could do was to 360 00:17:36,674 --> 00:17:39,594 Speaker 2: study to become a doctor or a lawyer. That was 361 00:17:39,634 --> 00:17:42,313 Speaker 2: the most lucrative career path and in some ways the 362 00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:45,354 Speaker 2: most stable career path. Well, I think that's been turned 363 00:17:45,394 --> 00:17:49,434 Speaker 2: on its head. I think that for our children, the 364 00:17:49,474 --> 00:17:52,914 Speaker 2: most lucrative or stable career paths might be the exact 365 00:17:52,994 --> 00:17:55,314 Speaker 2: opposite of being a doctor or a lawyer. And that's 366 00:17:55,354 --> 00:17:56,434 Speaker 2: a little bit head spinning. 367 00:17:56,794 --> 00:17:59,793 Speaker 3: Yeah, content creators, that's what they see now. There's a 368 00:17:59,794 --> 00:18:02,834 Speaker 3: lot of reports around that that kids now want to 369 00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:05,434 Speaker 3: be content creators because they see that as a way 370 00:18:05,474 --> 00:18:06,513 Speaker 3: to earn a high income. 371 00:18:07,114 --> 00:18:10,994 Speaker 1: Respectfully, Respectfully, do you think that that viewpoint is a 372 00:18:11,034 --> 00:18:13,594 Speaker 1: privileged one because there are people that would be listening 373 00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:15,674 Speaker 1: to this going, well, actually, my parents never wanted me 374 00:18:15,714 --> 00:18:17,394 Speaker 1: to go to university and where just a family of 375 00:18:17,434 --> 00:18:18,154 Speaker 1: mess That's. 376 00:18:17,954 --> 00:18:20,554 Speaker 2: Why I framed it as most luecretive. Oh, it's not. 377 00:18:20,794 --> 00:18:24,314 Speaker 2: It isn't the ideal for everyone. It was the most 378 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:27,434 Speaker 2: lue cretive for our generation. White collar work, working in 379 00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:30,794 Speaker 2: an office, sitting in front of a computer, having meetings 380 00:18:30,834 --> 00:18:32,793 Speaker 2: where you don't really do very much, but that's what 381 00:18:32,874 --> 00:18:35,554 Speaker 2: consumes most of your day. That is what has made 382 00:18:35,754 --> 00:18:38,793 Speaker 2: for better or or worse, the most lucrative or stable 383 00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:43,154 Speaker 2: career path for our generation. What's coming is much less clear. 384 00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:45,914 Speaker 1: But the other generations that are coming through our friend 385 00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:48,434 Speaker 1: jen Z don't seem to have the same relationship to 386 00:18:48,474 --> 00:18:51,394 Speaker 1: work that we have. They want more balance because all 387 00:18:51,394 --> 00:18:53,434 Speaker 1: the things that we had out of their reach. They 388 00:18:53,434 --> 00:18:56,074 Speaker 1: can't afford a house, you know, all of those sort 389 00:18:56,074 --> 00:18:58,954 Speaker 1: of markers of what makes it successful adult life aren't 390 00:18:58,954 --> 00:19:01,594 Speaker 1: in reach anymore. So they are looking for more balance 391 00:19:01,634 --> 00:19:03,434 Speaker 1: in their work. They are looking for flexible work for 392 00:19:03,474 --> 00:19:07,434 Speaker 1: different kinds of jobs. Don't despare Melia. I think what's 393 00:19:07,474 --> 00:19:11,074 Speaker 1: important is like when you think about existential things, is 394 00:19:11,394 --> 00:19:15,434 Speaker 1: what can I control? In this control stuff you can 395 00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:20,314 Speaker 1: you can control real fundamentals for your kids, how to communicate, 396 00:19:20,394 --> 00:19:22,394 Speaker 1: how to show up, how to be on time, how 397 00:19:22,434 --> 00:19:24,834 Speaker 1: to be a good person, how to actually talk. I'm 398 00:19:24,874 --> 00:19:27,874 Speaker 1: most worried about communication skills with my kids because I 399 00:19:27,914 --> 00:19:31,914 Speaker 1: see kids using AI, using computers. I see like UNI 400 00:19:31,954 --> 00:19:35,234 Speaker 1: students now learn online. They're not physically going somewhere having 401 00:19:35,234 --> 00:19:37,634 Speaker 1: to interact with someone. I also read this study that 402 00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:40,674 Speaker 1: was like about dating like gen Z's and dating now, 403 00:19:40,754 --> 00:19:43,394 Speaker 1: and they're not dating when they're younger, so they or 404 00:19:43,434 --> 00:19:47,234 Speaker 1: they date on snapchats, so they're not actually physically seeing someone. 405 00:19:47,594 --> 00:19:50,273 Speaker 1: And so there's all these people coming into the workforce 406 00:19:50,634 --> 00:19:53,754 Speaker 1: at an entry level who don't have really basic skills 407 00:19:53,834 --> 00:19:56,114 Speaker 1: on how to get feedback, how to deal with conflict, 408 00:19:56,274 --> 00:20:01,194 Speaker 1: good communication. So my point is, don't despare, control the controllables, 409 00:20:01,354 --> 00:20:03,754 Speaker 1: teach your kids the good fundamentals and the values, and 410 00:20:03,794 --> 00:20:04,434 Speaker 1: you'll be okay. 411 00:20:04,714 --> 00:20:07,714 Speaker 3: And maybe it's overly simplistic to say, I guess our 412 00:20:07,794 --> 00:20:09,994 Speaker 3: parents wouldn't have known how to give us advice on 413 00:20:10,074 --> 00:20:13,514 Speaker 3: being podcasters. They wouldn't have ever thought that this could 414 00:20:13,554 --> 00:20:15,714 Speaker 3: be a job that we were doing. So maybe it's 415 00:20:15,754 --> 00:20:18,954 Speaker 3: just about RelA seeing the fact that we just yea. 416 00:20:18,994 --> 00:20:21,834 Speaker 2: Letting go of the idea that our children's world is 417 00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:24,794 Speaker 2: going to look exactly like our world, and that's that's okay. 418 00:20:25,394 --> 00:20:28,313 Speaker 1: I need to bring you both across a parenting trend 419 00:20:28,434 --> 00:20:31,234 Speaker 1: that genuinely made me blink twice. 420 00:20:31,274 --> 00:20:34,474 Speaker 2: You're not meant to be blinking Matting. 421 00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:40,834 Speaker 1: The Huffington Post and also Hallo magazine reported on this breathlessly. 422 00:20:41,714 --> 00:20:45,674 Speaker 1: It's called empty weekend parenting. I'm going to explain it 423 00:20:45,674 --> 00:20:47,874 Speaker 1: carefully because it's quite complex. Do you need a notepad? 424 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:48,994 Speaker 2: Do you need I'm ready. 425 00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:53,554 Speaker 1: Here's what you need to do. You don't schedule in anything, 426 00:20:54,114 --> 00:20:56,434 Speaker 1: You just have an empty weekend. 427 00:20:56,514 --> 00:20:58,114 Speaker 2: I hate this. Did you get that all day? I 428 00:20:58,194 --> 00:20:58,513 Speaker 2: hate it? 429 00:20:59,114 --> 00:20:59,874 Speaker 1: That's the trend? 430 00:21:00,114 --> 00:21:02,474 Speaker 2: No, I hate it. I reject it. Why does everything 431 00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:05,874 Speaker 2: need a name? I accidentally did this the other week. 432 00:21:05,914 --> 00:21:09,553 Speaker 3: I had an empty parent weekend look at me trendsetting, 433 00:21:09,754 --> 00:21:12,874 Speaker 3: But it also coincided with it just happened accidentally that 434 00:21:12,914 --> 00:21:15,594 Speaker 3: we didn't have a million things on with a rainy weekend, 435 00:21:15,794 --> 00:21:18,074 Speaker 3: so we had no plans and couldn't go outside. 436 00:21:18,114 --> 00:21:20,114 Speaker 2: Did you just send out watching a lot of TV? Yeah? 437 00:21:20,194 --> 00:21:20,754 Speaker 1: It was great. 438 00:21:21,234 --> 00:21:23,914 Speaker 2: It was so great. It's like to me, and empty 439 00:21:23,914 --> 00:21:28,074 Speaker 2: weekend is more stressful than a packed weekend with children. Obviously, 440 00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:31,594 Speaker 2: without children, an empty weekend is the closest thing to 441 00:21:31,674 --> 00:21:34,754 Speaker 2: heaven on earth. But with children. You're just going to 442 00:21:34,874 --> 00:21:37,194 Speaker 2: end up with them in front of the TV, crabby, 443 00:21:37,594 --> 00:21:41,234 Speaker 2: climbing off the walls. It's not a good recipe for 444 00:21:41,314 --> 00:21:44,273 Speaker 2: a happy dynamic. I must admit my house looked a 445 00:21:44,274 --> 00:21:46,594 Speaker 2: lot worse at the end of that weekend because we 446 00:21:47,354 --> 00:21:50,273 Speaker 2: stresses me out. Yeah, this whole idea gives me a 447 00:21:50,314 --> 00:21:51,274 Speaker 2: lot of anxiety. 448 00:21:51,914 --> 00:21:54,994 Speaker 1: What does it say, though, that we are so overscheduled 449 00:21:55,154 --> 00:21:58,354 Speaker 1: and over optimized in our parenting that having an empty 450 00:21:58,394 --> 00:22:01,273 Speaker 1: weekend is now a trend around. Put a label on 451 00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:04,034 Speaker 1: it and say this is cool, this is trendy. 452 00:22:04,354 --> 00:22:07,553 Speaker 2: My son actually requests that I schedule this, so it 453 00:22:07,634 --> 00:22:11,274 Speaker 2: is really and so he would love this trend. Okay, Well, 454 00:22:11,514 --> 00:22:14,033 Speaker 2: I do think that there's something to the idea that 455 00:22:14,074 --> 00:22:17,474 Speaker 2: we need to pair back on commitments, because when you 456 00:22:17,554 --> 00:22:20,434 Speaker 2: do race around the whole weekend, then you just feel 457 00:22:20,434 --> 00:22:21,714 Speaker 2: more exhausted on Monday. 458 00:22:22,154 --> 00:22:24,354 Speaker 1: An older mum of that I know, you know that 459 00:22:24,594 --> 00:22:27,234 Speaker 1: she's further along, has this rule every year where she 460 00:22:27,354 --> 00:22:30,874 Speaker 1: doesn't schedule any extracurriculars in term four because she's like 461 00:22:30,914 --> 00:22:33,114 Speaker 1: the end of the year, everyone's so fried that you 462 00:22:33,234 --> 00:22:35,914 Speaker 1: just don't do any extracurriculus. So I did it last year, 463 00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:38,554 Speaker 1: I just had a completely empty term for maybe that's 464 00:22:38,594 --> 00:22:40,154 Speaker 1: my trend and. 465 00:22:40,434 --> 00:22:40,914 Speaker 2: How'd it go? 466 00:22:41,714 --> 00:22:45,754 Speaker 1: I didn't like it because, like you said, these activities 467 00:22:45,794 --> 00:22:47,634 Speaker 1: are a good way to get kids out and doing 468 00:22:47,674 --> 00:22:48,114 Speaker 1: things and. 469 00:22:48,194 --> 00:22:50,634 Speaker 2: If they're not riding their bike around the neighborhood, na 470 00:22:50,954 --> 00:22:55,474 Speaker 2: like old Irish friend. 471 00:22:54,434 --> 00:22:57,073 Speaker 1: Exactly right. Thank you for the reality check. It's not 472 00:22:57,154 --> 00:23:00,114 Speaker 1: gonna be puzzles and like coloring in, it's going to 473 00:23:00,154 --> 00:23:01,274 Speaker 1: be mom can I watch? 474 00:23:01,354 --> 00:23:04,154 Speaker 2: But do you think we need to embrace that mess 475 00:23:04,274 --> 00:23:08,033 Speaker 2: around the house and that kind of see feeling that 476 00:23:08,074 --> 00:23:10,474 Speaker 2: you get as a parent because kids are telling us 477 00:23:10,594 --> 00:23:13,194 Speaker 2: or they're telling me they need downtime, Like, is this 478 00:23:13,314 --> 00:23:15,914 Speaker 2: a challenge I need to take on? And maybe okay, 479 00:23:16,034 --> 00:23:17,994 Speaker 2: I'll take it on and report back. Please do. 480 00:23:19,754 --> 00:23:22,954 Speaker 3: Over the weekend, I had this realization that families fall 481 00:23:22,994 --> 00:23:25,154 Speaker 3: into two camps and I wanted to bring it to 482 00:23:25,194 --> 00:23:27,154 Speaker 3: you guys, because when I brought it up here with 483 00:23:27,194 --> 00:23:29,194 Speaker 3: the team at mom and Mia, everyone had a lot 484 00:23:29,194 --> 00:23:32,074 Speaker 3: of big feelings. It was my daughter's fifth birthday. We 485 00:23:32,114 --> 00:23:33,914 Speaker 3: didn't do a party. We managed to escape that, but 486 00:23:33,994 --> 00:23:35,994 Speaker 3: had lots of you know, family and groups of friends 487 00:23:36,034 --> 00:23:38,594 Speaker 3: kind of coming and going at different times. And when 488 00:23:38,634 --> 00:23:42,194 Speaker 3: people leave my house, particularly when it's my family, I go. 489 00:23:42,234 --> 00:23:43,194 Speaker 2: Out on the driveway. 490 00:23:43,434 --> 00:23:45,793 Speaker 3: It is law, it is custom. I've never thought of 491 00:23:45,874 --> 00:23:48,714 Speaker 3: not doing that. Everyone goes out. You wait until they 492 00:23:48,754 --> 00:23:51,114 Speaker 3: back out the driveway and go up the street and 493 00:23:51,194 --> 00:23:53,914 Speaker 3: wave them off. Ye you would, the whole family, all 494 00:23:53,954 --> 00:23:55,914 Speaker 3: of us, Okay. But it was only at this time 495 00:23:55,954 --> 00:23:58,074 Speaker 3: that I realized, like my husband goes along with it, 496 00:23:58,114 --> 00:24:00,394 Speaker 3: like he's always there doing what And it was the 497 00:24:00,434 --> 00:24:01,154 Speaker 3: first time. 498 00:24:00,994 --> 00:24:02,834 Speaker 1: Do you have to corral everyone? Come on, it's time 499 00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:03,874 Speaker 1: to get on the driveway. 500 00:24:04,034 --> 00:24:05,874 Speaker 2: Well, just says we're going. It's like, well, come on, 501 00:24:05,994 --> 00:24:06,794 Speaker 2: like what are you doing? 502 00:24:06,874 --> 00:24:10,474 Speaker 3: Come on, they're leaving and you go out there as 503 00:24:10,514 --> 00:24:12,634 Speaker 3: they do him Is this coming naturally to you or 504 00:24:12,674 --> 00:24:15,234 Speaker 3: do you find this weird? And he's like, it's very unnecessary. 505 00:24:15,274 --> 00:24:17,994 Speaker 3: We've already said goodbye inside and then we have to 506 00:24:17,994 --> 00:24:19,474 Speaker 3: go and like give them a. 507 00:24:19,914 --> 00:24:21,914 Speaker 2: Parade outside as they leave. 508 00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:25,594 Speaker 3: And I realized that this is something my family does 509 00:24:25,674 --> 00:24:29,154 Speaker 3: and some people's families do not. And I think it's 510 00:24:29,194 --> 00:24:30,994 Speaker 3: all like when I've thought about it, I'm like, it's 511 00:24:31,034 --> 00:24:33,994 Speaker 3: from my nan. My nan did this even though she 512 00:24:34,074 --> 00:24:36,674 Speaker 3: had a walking stick and lived in an apartment block. 513 00:24:36,754 --> 00:24:38,434 Speaker 3: She would walk right to the end to where the 514 00:24:38,474 --> 00:24:41,314 Speaker 3: street was and wave us off, And I just wanted 515 00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:44,234 Speaker 3: to know where you fall. I didn't realize this was 516 00:24:44,234 --> 00:24:45,273 Speaker 3: the thing that people didn't do. 517 00:24:45,394 --> 00:24:48,394 Speaker 1: Yeah, ware driveway, family, it's manners. Yeah, it's actually manners. 518 00:24:48,474 --> 00:24:50,553 Speaker 2: We don't have a driveway, and I don't think I've 519 00:24:50,594 --> 00:24:51,754 Speaker 2: ever had a driveway. 520 00:24:51,954 --> 00:24:54,474 Speaker 1: So can't you go down like her nan from the apartment. 521 00:24:54,594 --> 00:24:58,114 Speaker 2: That's ridiculous. Well at the window, Yeah, I'll do a 522 00:24:58,154 --> 00:25:00,314 Speaker 2: wave out the window. I'm not going down the stairs. 523 00:25:00,474 --> 00:25:03,234 Speaker 2: Your grandmother was presumably in the greatest generation. They were 524 00:25:03,314 --> 00:25:06,354 Speaker 2: used to walking up and downstairs. Yes, but I value convenience. 525 00:25:06,434 --> 00:25:08,954 Speaker 3: I think it's just holding that space for people for 526 00:25:08,994 --> 00:25:09,874 Speaker 3: that long of a time. 527 00:25:09,914 --> 00:25:11,434 Speaker 2: But when I thought about it. 528 00:25:11,474 --> 00:25:12,554 Speaker 1: Do it to you as well? 529 00:25:12,634 --> 00:25:14,313 Speaker 3: Yeah, people do it to me. And then when I 530 00:25:14,314 --> 00:25:16,033 Speaker 3: thought about it, the people that do it to me. 531 00:25:16,074 --> 00:25:17,154 Speaker 3: It puts a lot of pressure. 532 00:25:17,394 --> 00:25:19,634 Speaker 2: But do you also feel a little bit snubbed by 533 00:25:19,674 --> 00:25:21,554 Speaker 2: the people who aren't doing it to you? Yeah? When 534 00:25:21,594 --> 00:25:22,994 Speaker 2: I leave them like, oh they're gone. 535 00:25:23,114 --> 00:25:25,914 Speaker 3: But the people who are waiting for you to leave, 536 00:25:26,074 --> 00:25:28,273 Speaker 3: I like a dilly dally in the car, like I 537 00:25:28,274 --> 00:25:31,274 Speaker 3: want to put on Google Maps, pick what song, Yeah, Chuck, 538 00:25:31,354 --> 00:25:32,074 Speaker 3: some toys. 539 00:25:31,794 --> 00:25:33,474 Speaker 2: In this song is going to be would by Taylor 540 00:25:33,514 --> 00:25:35,754 Speaker 2: Swift Sift. Yes, of course, as is law. 541 00:25:36,154 --> 00:25:38,674 Speaker 3: So actually I'm quite happy if people don't do the 542 00:25:38,754 --> 00:25:41,033 Speaker 3: driveway wave to me, but I always feel like I 543 00:25:41,074 --> 00:25:43,314 Speaker 3: have to do it to other people. But it got 544 00:25:43,354 --> 00:25:46,154 Speaker 3: me thinking about, like these traditions that have just come 545 00:25:46,194 --> 00:25:48,354 Speaker 3: from your own family and you kind of take them 546 00:25:48,354 --> 00:25:52,674 Speaker 3: into your own family unit, they kind of form that DNA. 547 00:25:51,954 --> 00:25:53,914 Speaker 2: And then I love feel like in your story, your 548 00:25:53,994 --> 00:25:57,554 Speaker 2: husband's like, this is not normal necessary because often when 549 00:25:57,554 --> 00:26:00,594 Speaker 2: you're merging your life with a partner's life, that's when 550 00:26:00,634 --> 00:26:03,394 Speaker 2: you suddenly realize that you even had these rituals. You 551 00:26:03,474 --> 00:26:05,954 Speaker 2: thought they were just life. Yeah, yeah, exactly. 552 00:26:06,034 --> 00:26:07,994 Speaker 3: Well I feel like it for in the same camp 553 00:26:08,034 --> 00:26:10,754 Speaker 3: as like either you're a three hours early to the 554 00:26:10,794 --> 00:26:13,834 Speaker 3: airport people or you're a thirty minute people, And when 555 00:26:13,874 --> 00:26:17,554 Speaker 3: you join those households, you're like, what are you doing? 556 00:26:17,754 --> 00:26:20,114 Speaker 2: Like at either end of mine, I bet you want 557 00:26:20,114 --> 00:26:21,434 Speaker 2: to get to the airport three hours before. 558 00:26:21,554 --> 00:26:25,234 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm an early bird airport. But interestingly, speaking of 559 00:26:25,274 --> 00:26:28,034 Speaker 1: family rituals, we are an airport drop off and pick 560 00:26:28,114 --> 00:26:31,874 Speaker 1: up family Okay, this is big time to the point 561 00:26:31,874 --> 00:26:34,833 Speaker 1: where I live in Adelaide, twenty minutes from the airport. 562 00:26:35,274 --> 00:26:37,514 Speaker 1: My mom lives two and a half hours in the country, 563 00:26:37,754 --> 00:26:39,314 Speaker 1: and she'll still ring me and say, do you want 564 00:26:39,314 --> 00:26:41,154 Speaker 1: me to take to the airport when I come to 565 00:26:42,114 --> 00:26:46,074 Speaker 1: Like that is how our airport drop off and pick 566 00:26:46,154 --> 00:26:47,634 Speaker 1: up policy is in my family. 567 00:26:47,794 --> 00:26:48,874 Speaker 2: Airport parking for you. 568 00:26:49,234 --> 00:26:52,594 Speaker 1: I think airport pickups and drop offs are such an act. 569 00:26:52,634 --> 00:26:53,194 Speaker 2: I love them. 570 00:26:53,314 --> 00:26:55,394 Speaker 1: It's such an act of sacrifice. But this is coming 571 00:26:55,394 --> 00:26:57,994 Speaker 1: from Adelaide, right where it's easy. I wouldn't imagine the 572 00:26:58,034 --> 00:26:58,674 Speaker 1: same Incidua. 573 00:26:58,674 --> 00:27:00,674 Speaker 2: Well, it's a great point. The other day was going 574 00:27:00,674 --> 00:27:03,314 Speaker 2: on a business trip and my dad was like, can 575 00:27:03,354 --> 00:27:05,114 Speaker 2: I drive you to the airport? And I was like, well, 576 00:27:05,114 --> 00:27:07,834 Speaker 2: I was going to expense a cab, but yeah, sure. 577 00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:10,954 Speaker 2: It makes you feel really cared for. 578 00:27:11,194 --> 00:27:14,594 Speaker 1: Does because it's such an inconvenience of someone to do it. 579 00:27:14,634 --> 00:27:16,273 Speaker 1: But it says I want to be the one to 580 00:27:16,354 --> 00:27:18,273 Speaker 1: send you off into the world. I want to be 581 00:27:18,314 --> 00:27:20,674 Speaker 1: the one to welcome you back. It's very lovely and 582 00:27:20,794 --> 00:27:23,634 Speaker 1: obsessed with it. But I'm married into a non airport 583 00:27:23,714 --> 00:27:26,434 Speaker 1: drop off and pick up family, and it's a shock. 584 00:27:26,634 --> 00:27:27,554 Speaker 1: It's a real shock. 585 00:27:27,754 --> 00:27:30,594 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because you can't bridge that divide. There's so 586 00:27:30,674 --> 00:27:32,594 Speaker 2: many of these when you start thinking about them. The 587 00:27:32,634 --> 00:27:35,074 Speaker 2: one that occurred to me was what kind of milk 588 00:27:35,154 --> 00:27:37,474 Speaker 2: you drink or if you drink milk. 589 00:27:37,274 --> 00:27:38,594 Speaker 1: What like full cream or skim milk? 590 00:27:38,714 --> 00:27:43,434 Speaker 2: Yeah, because my husband is very much of the skim milk. 591 00:27:44,474 --> 00:27:47,754 Speaker 2: Oh no, I think it's quote unquote refreshing. And he 592 00:27:47,874 --> 00:27:51,033 Speaker 2: listens to this podcast and I'm going to tell him again, no, 593 00:27:51,154 --> 00:27:56,194 Speaker 2: it's not. It lacks the full cream flavor that I desire. Yes, 594 00:27:56,234 --> 00:27:59,994 Speaker 2: And then also, do you watch TV while you eat that? 595 00:27:59,994 --> 00:28:01,273 Speaker 2: That is a big one, you know. 596 00:28:01,834 --> 00:28:03,514 Speaker 1: Or do you have a TV in your bedroom? 597 00:28:03,914 --> 00:28:06,634 Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, I mean that in the eighties a TV. 598 00:28:06,954 --> 00:28:09,594 Speaker 2: So you were too young for this apparently, but let 599 00:28:09,674 --> 00:28:12,273 Speaker 2: me explain to you, a TV in the bedroom was 600 00:28:12,314 --> 00:28:16,234 Speaker 2: seen as that was Alan Bond level luxury, Like you 601 00:28:16,354 --> 00:28:20,594 Speaker 2: basically had to be Alan Bond or Gina Hancock to 602 00:28:20,634 --> 00:28:22,754 Speaker 2: have a TV in your bedroom. There are some eighties 603 00:28:22,794 --> 00:28:25,754 Speaker 2: figures that you probably haven't heard it. I haven't, but. 604 00:28:27,434 --> 00:28:30,194 Speaker 3: That's so true, Like it was so fancy to do that. 605 00:28:30,314 --> 00:28:32,114 Speaker 3: But yeah, I feel like you either come from a 606 00:28:32,114 --> 00:28:34,114 Speaker 3: staunch camp now and then you have to decide where 607 00:28:34,154 --> 00:28:35,234 Speaker 3: you sit in the middle. 608 00:28:35,634 --> 00:28:38,194 Speaker 1: I'm also you have to walk people out when they 609 00:28:38,274 --> 00:28:40,234 Speaker 1: leave your house, Like you have to be the one 610 00:28:40,274 --> 00:28:42,234 Speaker 1: to open the door to let them out. 611 00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:45,114 Speaker 2: Walk to the door. 612 00:28:45,114 --> 00:28:48,354 Speaker 1: Oh no, they can't open the door. Stay secke Oka. 613 00:28:48,674 --> 00:28:50,354 Speaker 1: You have to open the door for them to leave 614 00:28:50,394 --> 00:28:51,834 Speaker 1: the house, and you have to see them out of 615 00:28:51,834 --> 00:28:54,794 Speaker 1: your house. Unless you are close enough that they would 616 00:28:54,834 --> 00:28:56,954 Speaker 1: have a key to your house. Everyone else needs to 617 00:28:56,954 --> 00:28:57,514 Speaker 1: have the door open. 618 00:28:58,354 --> 00:29:00,034 Speaker 2: There we go. I'm so glad we cleose this up. 619 00:29:00,234 --> 00:29:02,794 Speaker 1: Okay, it's time for recommendations. This is a little segment, 620 00:29:02,834 --> 00:29:04,714 Speaker 1: a little gift to you, where we bring you the 621 00:29:04,714 --> 00:29:06,954 Speaker 1: things we're obsessed with that we would want to text 622 00:29:06,954 --> 00:29:10,594 Speaker 1: you if we were friends. Stacy, what are you recommending? 623 00:29:10,834 --> 00:29:13,354 Speaker 3: Mine's so basic this week. Amelia laughed at me when 624 00:29:13,354 --> 00:29:15,434 Speaker 3: I brought it up. But it is my passion point. 625 00:29:15,914 --> 00:29:19,034 Speaker 3: I love Survivor. Oh my god, the US Survivor. I 626 00:29:19,074 --> 00:29:22,474 Speaker 3: have watched its one Australian too, but the US one 627 00:29:22,514 --> 00:29:23,194 Speaker 3: I have watched it. 628 00:29:23,554 --> 00:29:24,274 Speaker 2: I had to look it up. 629 00:29:24,314 --> 00:29:26,194 Speaker 3: It started in two thousand, so I was in year 630 00:29:26,274 --> 00:29:29,954 Speaker 3: six when this started, and I have watched every single season. 631 00:29:29,994 --> 00:29:31,674 Speaker 3: It's that season fifty. 632 00:29:31,674 --> 00:29:33,914 Speaker 2: It's one of my favorite facts about you. You have 633 00:29:34,074 --> 00:29:35,754 Speaker 2: not watched fifty ze fifty. 634 00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:38,234 Speaker 3: I maybe missed one in there somewhere when I was 635 00:29:38,234 --> 00:29:41,434 Speaker 3: a teenager, but at fifty seasons of this show. But 636 00:29:41,514 --> 00:29:43,914 Speaker 3: the reason I bring that up is that season fifty 637 00:29:44,154 --> 00:29:47,394 Speaker 3: is on stand. Season fifty is all people who have 638 00:29:47,434 --> 00:29:50,074 Speaker 3: played before, so a lot of them are winners from 639 00:29:50,114 --> 00:29:52,514 Speaker 3: previous seasons. They've got one of the big stars from 640 00:29:52,514 --> 00:29:55,554 Speaker 3: season one, so she only played this game twenty five 641 00:29:55,674 --> 00:29:58,474 Speaker 3: years ago and has not played since and is now 642 00:29:58,554 --> 00:30:01,634 Speaker 3: back out on the island. They're obviously all a lot older. 643 00:30:02,154 --> 00:30:04,794 Speaker 3: Colby Donaldson. For people who are real fans of the show, 644 00:30:04,874 --> 00:30:07,634 Speaker 3: he was so beautiful and he's now fifty, he's still 645 00:30:07,674 --> 00:30:10,914 Speaker 3: so beautiful, and he's on this show. But if you 646 00:30:11,274 --> 00:30:13,794 Speaker 3: like dropped off and loved this show oncepon a time, 647 00:30:14,194 --> 00:30:15,634 Speaker 3: I'm saying, just watch this season. 648 00:30:15,674 --> 00:30:17,594 Speaker 1: What if you've never watched it before, could you start? 649 00:30:17,674 --> 00:30:18,634 Speaker 2: Fine? Fine? 650 00:30:18,714 --> 00:30:20,754 Speaker 3: Because they go into all the law, they flash back 651 00:30:20,794 --> 00:30:23,714 Speaker 3: to what kind of players they were best off, and 652 00:30:23,754 --> 00:30:26,554 Speaker 3: because they're all threats, it's just game on from the 653 00:30:26,594 --> 00:30:28,674 Speaker 3: start because none of them have to suss each other 654 00:30:28,714 --> 00:30:31,354 Speaker 3: out because they all know how the other ones played 655 00:30:31,394 --> 00:30:33,794 Speaker 3: in their seasons, So you've got new people who are 656 00:30:33,794 --> 00:30:37,434 Speaker 3: like young super fans who played last year versus people 657 00:30:37,434 --> 00:30:40,554 Speaker 3: from twenty five years ago, and they're all mixed in together. 658 00:30:40,834 --> 00:30:42,994 Speaker 3: And it's dropping one episode a week, so it's not 659 00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:46,114 Speaker 3: like this massive investment of your time. You can watch 660 00:30:46,114 --> 00:30:47,194 Speaker 3: one episode every week. 661 00:30:47,434 --> 00:30:49,394 Speaker 1: Do you have a chat group that you're in to 662 00:30:49,434 --> 00:30:50,074 Speaker 1: talk about. 663 00:30:49,954 --> 00:30:53,034 Speaker 2: I have no one. I have no outlet. You want 664 00:30:53,074 --> 00:30:54,594 Speaker 2: to check about it? Yeah? 665 00:30:54,874 --> 00:30:56,634 Speaker 1: Where we watch it and we message live? 666 00:30:56,834 --> 00:30:57,754 Speaker 2: Yeah, ad me in. 667 00:30:57,834 --> 00:30:59,234 Speaker 1: But are you watching the Australian one? 668 00:30:59,314 --> 00:31:00,874 Speaker 2: Yes? Love the Australian one too. 669 00:31:01,154 --> 00:31:02,474 Speaker 1: He's really got a change post. 670 00:31:02,714 --> 00:31:03,914 Speaker 2: I actually quite like it. 671 00:31:04,354 --> 00:31:06,994 Speaker 3: I didn't think I would like him, but David's doing 672 00:31:07,114 --> 00:31:07,674 Speaker 3: pretty well. 673 00:31:07,874 --> 00:31:14,194 Speaker 2: Sorry, ameliacast. I was just thinking about Love Story and 674 00:31:14,194 --> 00:31:16,994 Speaker 2: how that's my favorite television show right now, or you 675 00:31:16,994 --> 00:31:20,554 Speaker 2: could watch that. That's the other Mine is something that 676 00:31:20,674 --> 00:31:23,234 Speaker 2: I hope mons will be proud of me for recommending, 677 00:31:23,714 --> 00:31:25,994 Speaker 2: and that is exercising with your kids. 678 00:31:26,074 --> 00:31:27,234 Speaker 1: Yes, I am proud. 679 00:31:27,474 --> 00:31:29,754 Speaker 2: I didn't think you could do this. I just thought 680 00:31:29,794 --> 00:31:32,514 Speaker 2: it was just something you had to do separate from them. 681 00:31:32,554 --> 00:31:35,274 Speaker 2: But the reason why it came about is because my 682 00:31:35,514 --> 00:31:38,954 Speaker 2: son is playing rugby and they put on these family 683 00:31:39,074 --> 00:31:43,314 Speaker 2: fitness sessions pre season. We went along and did you 684 00:31:43,354 --> 00:31:49,074 Speaker 2: know burpies and bear crawls around the oval hectics. No, 685 00:31:49,154 --> 00:31:51,154 Speaker 2: but my five year old was there, so it wasn't 686 00:31:51,194 --> 00:31:55,874 Speaker 2: exactly like survivor level endurance and it was really fun 687 00:31:56,234 --> 00:31:59,754 Speaker 2: and I thought it was good role modeling for the children. 688 00:32:00,434 --> 00:32:04,554 Speaker 2: And their plank form does need some work, but that's 689 00:32:04,594 --> 00:32:07,914 Speaker 2: okay because apparently my squat form needs so we're all 690 00:32:07,994 --> 00:32:09,394 Speaker 2: just working away together. 691 00:32:09,914 --> 00:32:12,194 Speaker 1: That's so good. I don't want to be like me too, 692 00:32:12,234 --> 00:32:13,994 Speaker 1: me too, and I don't want to one up you, 693 00:32:14,114 --> 00:32:16,994 Speaker 1: but I sometimes take my kids to the gym so 694 00:32:17,034 --> 00:32:19,314 Speaker 1: that they can see me working out because I want 695 00:32:19,474 --> 00:32:21,154 Speaker 1: like that role model. Limping is so important. 696 00:32:21,154 --> 00:32:22,634 Speaker 2: But what are they doing when you're there? 697 00:32:22,714 --> 00:32:27,994 Speaker 1: They just like on their iPad, buy your machine or yes. 698 00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:29,954 Speaker 1: So they'll start out in the kids section and then 699 00:32:29,994 --> 00:32:31,914 Speaker 1: they'll wander onto the floor and be like, I want 700 00:32:31,954 --> 00:32:33,474 Speaker 1: to do it too, and so I'll set up like 701 00:32:33,594 --> 00:32:35,874 Speaker 1: fun jump things or like a skipping rope and yeah, 702 00:32:36,034 --> 00:32:37,794 Speaker 1: but I mainly do it so that they see me 703 00:32:37,874 --> 00:32:38,834 Speaker 1: moving my body. 704 00:32:39,034 --> 00:32:41,914 Speaker 2: That's so cool. I truly thought they were just like 705 00:32:42,034 --> 00:32:44,394 Speaker 2: different parts of your life and they couldn't meet. 706 00:32:44,514 --> 00:32:47,674 Speaker 3: Yeah, it has never occurred to me to exercise simultaneously 707 00:32:47,714 --> 00:32:48,194 Speaker 3: with my kids. 708 00:32:48,474 --> 00:32:50,234 Speaker 1: Gave me some good advice recently and she was like, 709 00:32:50,274 --> 00:32:52,314 Speaker 1: you're so busy. The things that you can do with 710 00:32:52,354 --> 00:32:54,754 Speaker 1: your kids there, do them with your kids there, because 711 00:32:54,794 --> 00:32:56,154 Speaker 1: I used to just go to the gym after when 712 00:32:56,154 --> 00:32:58,154 Speaker 1: they're at school or whatever, or late at night when 713 00:32:58,154 --> 00:33:00,834 Speaker 1: they're in bed. But she was like, no, you have 714 00:33:00,914 --> 00:33:03,554 Speaker 1: to maximize your kid free time with work or whatever 715 00:33:03,554 --> 00:33:05,234 Speaker 1: it is. And then yeah, if you can do it 716 00:33:05,234 --> 00:33:06,354 Speaker 1: with them there, then do it with them there. So 717 00:33:06,394 --> 00:33:07,074 Speaker 1: that is awesome. 718 00:33:07,634 --> 00:33:10,194 Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like, actually that idea of doing stuff 719 00:33:10,234 --> 00:33:13,874 Speaker 2: with your kids there is something that as a generation, 720 00:33:14,074 --> 00:33:16,474 Speaker 2: we've kind of not wanted to do. Like I do 721 00:33:16,594 --> 00:33:19,794 Speaker 2: remember endless trips to the bank, I mean bank branches 722 00:33:19,834 --> 00:33:23,994 Speaker 2: don't exist anymore, really, but standing in line for unclear 723 00:33:24,074 --> 00:33:27,754 Speaker 2: reasons with the checkbook that I found endlessly fascinating. Like 724 00:33:27,954 --> 00:33:30,114 Speaker 2: I don't think my kids are doing anything. 725 00:33:29,714 --> 00:33:32,954 Speaker 1: Like writing checks to yourself, check deposit slips. 726 00:33:33,154 --> 00:33:36,194 Speaker 2: Yes, I remember that, So maybe we need to just 727 00:33:36,274 --> 00:33:37,514 Speaker 2: be taking the more places. 728 00:33:38,154 --> 00:33:40,394 Speaker 1: Okay, my recommendation. You might hate me for this because 729 00:33:40,434 --> 00:33:42,434 Speaker 1: I know it's going to sound smug. I don't mean 730 00:33:42,474 --> 00:33:44,234 Speaker 1: it to sound smug. I just want to show you 731 00:33:44,434 --> 00:33:46,594 Speaker 1: this thing that I'm doing because I think it's working 732 00:33:46,634 --> 00:33:47,274 Speaker 1: well in our face. 733 00:33:47,274 --> 00:33:49,354 Speaker 2: Are you going to recommend more vegetables? 734 00:33:49,514 --> 00:33:53,514 Speaker 1: No, children, it's a trend. I'm going to try and 735 00:33:53,514 --> 00:33:54,594 Speaker 1: start my own parenting trend. 736 00:33:54,754 --> 00:33:54,994 Speaker 2: Okay. 737 00:33:55,034 --> 00:33:58,394 Speaker 1: It's called Mummy Monday. And what it is is every 738 00:33:58,434 --> 00:34:00,834 Speaker 1: Monday And the reason I've called it mummy Monday is 739 00:34:00,874 --> 00:34:03,434 Speaker 1: because the alliteration helps me remember. 740 00:34:03,074 --> 00:34:03,434 Speaker 2: To do it. 741 00:34:04,354 --> 00:34:06,234 Speaker 1: All it is is that you put them to bed 742 00:34:06,234 --> 00:34:08,074 Speaker 1: on a Monday night, you lie in bed with them. 743 00:34:08,194 --> 00:34:10,714 Speaker 1: Everyone looks at the ceiling. I got some Mummy Monday. 744 00:34:11,114 --> 00:34:13,873 Speaker 1: Is anyone got anything they're worried about? And we just 745 00:34:13,994 --> 00:34:15,994 Speaker 1: all lie there and they just talk about their worries, 746 00:34:16,074 --> 00:34:18,674 Speaker 1: and I just listen and we go and I go, yep, 747 00:34:18,834 --> 00:34:21,593 Speaker 1: that sounds really hard and yeah, and then I share 748 00:34:21,674 --> 00:34:23,634 Speaker 1: a worry of mine that I've just totally made up. 749 00:34:23,674 --> 00:34:26,114 Speaker 1: But I just I'm trying to model like talking about 750 00:34:26,154 --> 00:34:29,354 Speaker 1: feelings now so that when they're older, they're okay to 751 00:34:29,394 --> 00:34:30,314 Speaker 1: come to me with worries. 752 00:34:30,474 --> 00:34:32,514 Speaker 2: But why do you make up your worry? Do you 753 00:34:32,554 --> 00:34:34,034 Speaker 2: not have any worries. 754 00:34:33,794 --> 00:34:38,114 Speaker 1: Because my worries are like a II my worries like 755 00:34:38,314 --> 00:34:41,074 Speaker 1: we got a massive water bill, I'm going to pay it, 756 00:34:41,114 --> 00:34:43,393 Speaker 1: like those kinds of like boring worries. But I might 757 00:34:43,634 --> 00:34:46,513 Speaker 1: kid a fire and be like, oh, today at work, 758 00:34:46,634 --> 00:34:48,794 Speaker 1: I had a really big job too, and I was 759 00:34:48,874 --> 00:34:51,514 Speaker 1: really worried I couldn't do it. But then I just 760 00:34:51,594 --> 00:34:55,033 Speaker 1: took a deep breath and I thought, no, you can 761 00:34:55,194 --> 00:34:57,234 Speaker 1: do it, and then I did it. You know, I'm 762 00:34:57,274 --> 00:34:59,634 Speaker 1: saying shit like yeah, I'm trying to model like no, 763 00:34:59,714 --> 00:35:00,473 Speaker 1: you're a good mum. 764 00:35:00,514 --> 00:35:03,274 Speaker 2: I think that's a great. Yeah, that's actually really smart. 765 00:35:03,354 --> 00:35:05,394 Speaker 1: But then I start to overthink it and I was like, oh, 766 00:35:05,434 --> 00:35:07,074 Speaker 1: I don't want them to think they should always be 767 00:35:07,194 --> 00:35:10,354 Speaker 1: worried about stuff either. So then mummy mondays is now 768 00:35:10,394 --> 00:35:12,474 Speaker 1: like has anyone got anything they want to talk about? 769 00:35:12,714 --> 00:35:15,034 Speaker 1: And they never do. They never do, But I'm like, oh, 770 00:35:15,074 --> 00:35:16,754 Speaker 1: I'll just put the time in now and then maybe 771 00:35:16,754 --> 00:35:17,554 Speaker 1: one day they will have it. 772 00:35:17,554 --> 00:35:19,274 Speaker 2: But then, so is it a lot of the time 773 00:35:19,394 --> 00:35:22,194 Speaker 2: like sort of just lying there and being together without 774 00:35:22,274 --> 00:35:23,274 Speaker 2: necessarily talking. 775 00:35:23,474 --> 00:35:26,433 Speaker 1: It's just always talking, And often they'll say Nope, don't 776 00:35:26,434 --> 00:35:28,433 Speaker 1: have any worries, and I'm like, ah, you sure, and 777 00:35:28,474 --> 00:35:30,513 Speaker 1: then I'll spend a long time on my worry. Any 778 00:35:30,514 --> 00:35:33,034 Speaker 1: further questions, No, I really like it. 779 00:35:33,234 --> 00:35:34,154 Speaker 2: I want to try doing that. 780 00:35:34,674 --> 00:35:36,433 Speaker 1: All right, That's all we have time for this week. 781 00:35:36,474 --> 00:35:39,074 Speaker 1: I'm parenting out loud. Big thanks to our team, Junior 782 00:35:39,074 --> 00:35:43,274 Speaker 1: content producer Tessakotovic, our audio producer Leah Porges, Josh who 783 00:35:43,274 --> 00:35:46,154 Speaker 1: sets up the cameras, and thank you guys, and the 784 00:35:46,194 --> 00:35:49,034 Speaker 1: group epe is Ruth Divine who had a birthday this week. 785 00:35:49,074 --> 00:35:50,554 Speaker 2: Happy birthday, Ruthy birthday. 786 00:35:51,034 --> 00:35:52,714 Speaker 1: Have a great week. We'll be back in this speed 787 00:35:52,754 --> 00:35:53,634 Speaker 1: next Saturday morning. 788 00:35:54,074 --> 00:35:58,993 Speaker 2: Bye. Mumma. 789 00:35:59,074 --> 00:36:01,634 Speaker 1: Mere acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which 790 00:36:01,674 --> 00:36:03,074 Speaker 1: we have recorded this podcast.