1 00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:13,314 Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mother and Mere podcast. 2 00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:15,514 Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm late. Am I glowing? 3 00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,114 Speaker 3: Yes you are? What's happening? 4 00:00:17,393 --> 00:00:18,674 Speaker 1: Okay, you're very jewy. 5 00:00:19,714 --> 00:00:23,714 Speaker 4: I just had on your recommendation, Stacey. I booked into 6 00:00:23,754 --> 00:00:25,874 Speaker 4: Mecca for a makeup lesson. It's new year, It's a 7 00:00:25,954 --> 00:00:27,154 Speaker 4: new me looks great. 8 00:00:27,434 --> 00:00:28,634 Speaker 3: It was the biggest learning. 9 00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:31,394 Speaker 4: I've been doing my contour or wrong. But I bought 10 00:00:31,394 --> 00:00:33,434 Speaker 4: a white pencil to put under my eye. 11 00:00:33,594 --> 00:00:33,794 Speaker 1: Wait. 12 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:35,114 Speaker 3: Why have you been doing contour wrong? 13 00:00:35,193 --> 00:00:35,353 Speaker 1: Oh? 14 00:00:35,394 --> 00:00:37,314 Speaker 2: I've been doing it too low. It's been dragging my 15 00:00:37,354 --> 00:00:37,793 Speaker 2: face down. 16 00:00:37,833 --> 00:00:39,713 Speaker 4: You've got to put it up really high, like almost 17 00:00:39,754 --> 00:00:40,873 Speaker 4: into your eye socket. 18 00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,873 Speaker 5: Remember that Erica Taylor, who I told you about on YouTube, 19 00:00:43,873 --> 00:00:47,394 Speaker 5: who teaches women over forty to do makeup. She says 20 00:00:47,434 --> 00:00:51,193 Speaker 5: that your blush needs to go even higher than you think, which. 21 00:00:50,994 --> 00:00:52,353 Speaker 3: I already thought it was pretty hard. 22 00:00:52,394 --> 00:00:53,794 Speaker 1: It's basically on your under eye. 23 00:00:54,234 --> 00:00:56,353 Speaker 2: Yeah. And then I bought a white pencil to do 24 00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:59,194 Speaker 2: underneath my eye, which just sounds so gross. You gotta 25 00:00:59,194 --> 00:01:00,194 Speaker 2: like pop your eye out and. 26 00:01:00,114 --> 00:01:03,034 Speaker 3: Put then Is that it? Yeah? 27 00:01:03,034 --> 00:01:04,794 Speaker 2: And I thought I was like, won't that make my 28 00:01:04,874 --> 00:01:06,034 Speaker 2: eyeball look yellow? 29 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:06,674 Speaker 1: No? 30 00:01:06,794 --> 00:01:08,474 Speaker 2: It does. And I don't know what magic it is. 31 00:01:08,514 --> 00:01:10,314 Speaker 2: It's just like bo, it looks good. 32 00:01:11,194 --> 00:01:11,634 Speaker 6: What do you know? 33 00:01:11,674 --> 00:01:11,714 Speaker 1: What? 34 00:01:11,754 --> 00:01:11,914 Speaker 5: Else? 35 00:01:11,914 --> 00:01:13,274 Speaker 4: When I was walking and I was like, I bet 36 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:16,474 Speaker 4: I get some eighteen year old with like plump jewish skin. No, No, 37 00:01:16,594 --> 00:01:19,554 Speaker 4: I got this woman Mary, who's a retired makeup artist 38 00:01:19,594 --> 00:01:20,794 Speaker 4: and she was sixty eight. 39 00:01:21,434 --> 00:01:23,434 Speaker 3: Mary, I'm sure she also has lovely skin. 40 00:01:23,674 --> 00:01:25,314 Speaker 2: Yeah, she had amazing skin. 41 00:01:25,394 --> 00:01:28,114 Speaker 4: But I was so relieved to have someone that understands, 42 00:01:28,274 --> 00:01:29,554 Speaker 4: you know, when your skin starts to age. 43 00:01:29,594 --> 00:01:30,794 Speaker 3: Can I ask one more question? 44 00:01:30,834 --> 00:01:32,874 Speaker 5: Why did she say about bass because I'm really struggling 45 00:01:32,954 --> 00:01:34,434 Speaker 5: with that, as most skin gets dryer. 46 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:35,074 Speaker 1: Base. 47 00:01:35,274 --> 00:01:38,114 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a technical term for foundation moms. 48 00:01:38,634 --> 00:01:41,874 Speaker 4: She said to me that the foundation doesn't it's not 49 00:01:41,914 --> 00:01:42,794 Speaker 4: going to fix all your problems. 50 00:01:42,834 --> 00:01:43,834 Speaker 2: You need to have a skin care. 51 00:01:44,514 --> 00:01:48,234 Speaker 5: Oh so that's more when people say that, Yeah, too 52 00:01:48,314 --> 00:01:48,874 Speaker 5: much effort. 53 00:01:49,114 --> 00:01:50,554 Speaker 2: All right, okay, distracted. 54 00:01:50,634 --> 00:01:53,034 Speaker 4: Welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast of parents who 55 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,354 Speaker 4: don't always listen to parenting podcasts. 56 00:01:55,474 --> 00:01:57,274 Speaker 2: We bring you the news, the trends, and the culture 57 00:01:57,314 --> 00:01:59,074 Speaker 2: and what parents. 58 00:01:58,674 --> 00:02:02,674 Speaker 4: Are thinking about, including Mecca, you can make up aging. 59 00:02:03,394 --> 00:02:05,834 Speaker 2: I'm Monique Bowley, I'm Amelia. 60 00:02:05,554 --> 00:02:08,114 Speaker 1: Lester, and I am Stacy here and I'm so glad 61 00:02:08,154 --> 00:02:10,673 Speaker 1: that Reco worked out for you on Thank. 62 00:02:10,394 --> 00:02:13,834 Speaker 4: You Boy, you are the Oracle. I say this every week, right, 63 00:02:13,913 --> 00:02:15,034 Speaker 4: what's on today's show? 64 00:02:15,274 --> 00:02:16,914 Speaker 5: Well, today I'm going to tell you about a thing 65 00:02:16,994 --> 00:02:19,554 Speaker 5: called the click test, and I need to warn you 66 00:02:19,794 --> 00:02:22,913 Speaker 5: that it's first going to horrify you, but then it's 67 00:02:22,914 --> 00:02:25,434 Speaker 5: going to change how your parent for the better forever. 68 00:02:25,594 --> 00:02:26,394 Speaker 3: I guarantee it. 69 00:02:26,554 --> 00:02:29,314 Speaker 1: Wow, big claim. And there's a new group we have 70 00:02:29,354 --> 00:02:32,354 Speaker 1: to monitor for screen time. And it's not who you. 71 00:02:32,394 --> 00:02:33,314 Speaker 2: Think, guys. 72 00:02:33,314 --> 00:02:35,354 Speaker 4: I had a fight with a man in a park 73 00:02:35,514 --> 00:02:37,434 Speaker 4: and I need to know. 74 00:02:38,154 --> 00:02:39,954 Speaker 2: Am I the asshole? 75 00:02:40,154 --> 00:02:41,633 Speaker 1: We will tell you. I can't wait. 76 00:02:41,674 --> 00:02:42,674 Speaker 3: We're going to be the jury. 77 00:02:42,874 --> 00:02:45,154 Speaker 2: But first, what's been on around online this week? 78 00:02:45,314 --> 00:02:50,434 Speaker 1: You know, like when you really like use like a 79 00:02:50,514 --> 00:02:54,234 Speaker 1: word like a lot and it drives everyone like mad. 80 00:02:54,794 --> 00:02:57,754 Speaker 1: Have you figured out which word I'm talking about now? Well, 81 00:02:58,074 --> 00:03:01,354 Speaker 1: the youths have a new word that they use instead 82 00:03:01,394 --> 00:03:04,394 Speaker 1: of like, so their version, because of course they do, 83 00:03:04,514 --> 00:03:08,034 Speaker 1: they had to rebrand like and have their own it's weight. 84 00:03:08,394 --> 00:03:12,234 Speaker 1: It just came to the conclusion that the new lake 85 00:03:13,314 --> 00:03:20,633 Speaker 1: is week, you know, like weet like week, because it's 86 00:03:20,674 --> 00:03:25,074 Speaker 1: like it's a you know, I can't even begin as 87 00:03:25,114 --> 00:03:26,394 Speaker 1: tunance without saying. 88 00:03:30,674 --> 00:03:34,633 Speaker 5: Okay, wait, I have real problems with this. Wait wait, wait, wait? 89 00:03:34,754 --> 00:03:38,114 Speaker 5: Why young people always think they're inventing things. We've been 90 00:03:38,194 --> 00:03:42,794 Speaker 5: saying weight for decades, since prime Warter all times, weight 91 00:03:42,914 --> 00:03:45,314 Speaker 5: has been a word we have used, am I wrong ones? 92 00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:48,154 Speaker 2: But not in a way that they do, not in 93 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:49,434 Speaker 2: this sort of overused way. 94 00:03:49,474 --> 00:03:51,234 Speaker 3: It's not special, it's not unique. 95 00:03:51,394 --> 00:03:52,474 Speaker 2: They use it as a filler. 96 00:03:52,834 --> 00:03:56,434 Speaker 1: It's just their version of saying, or tell me something 97 00:03:56,474 --> 00:03:58,994 Speaker 1: else you've seen this week because that's annoying. Okay, let 98 00:03:59,034 --> 00:04:01,194 Speaker 1: me tell you something else slightly less annoying that I've seen. 99 00:04:01,394 --> 00:04:04,074 Speaker 1: This was really interesting. Obviously, there's a lot of panic 100 00:04:04,114 --> 00:04:05,594 Speaker 1: around screen time with kids. 101 00:04:05,634 --> 00:04:06,074 Speaker 3: We know this. 102 00:04:06,114 --> 00:04:07,954 Speaker 1: We've talked about this at no cause that we're all 103 00:04:07,954 --> 00:04:10,434 Speaker 1: thinking about screen time and whether it's too much, But 104 00:04:10,474 --> 00:04:14,034 Speaker 1: has anyone checked on our parents? So there was this 105 00:04:14,194 --> 00:04:16,914 Speaker 1: report in The Economist where they spoke about how elderly 106 00:04:16,954 --> 00:04:19,754 Speaker 1: people are now spending half their waking hours on a 107 00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:23,113 Speaker 1: screen because of course they were like the TV generation, 108 00:04:23,274 --> 00:04:26,834 Speaker 1: but now they finally caught up and adopted smartphones and 109 00:04:26,873 --> 00:04:30,833 Speaker 1: iPads and they're obsessed with them, so they've become like 110 00:04:30,953 --> 00:04:33,474 Speaker 1: the new version of our toddlers where we can't get 111 00:04:33,513 --> 00:04:37,034 Speaker 1: them off, and they'll send you videos that existed at 112 00:04:37,073 --> 00:04:39,274 Speaker 1: like the start of the Internet, but they've just seen 113 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,513 Speaker 1: it for the first time and now they'll send it 114 00:04:41,553 --> 00:04:44,433 Speaker 1: to you as a link. Should we be worried about them? 115 00:04:44,834 --> 00:04:46,873 Speaker 3: This feels anecdotally correct. 116 00:04:47,193 --> 00:04:51,834 Speaker 5: I feel like I see boomers on phones in inappropriate situations, 117 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:55,113 Speaker 5: maybe more than any other age group. Yeah, they love Facebook, 118 00:04:55,193 --> 00:04:58,633 Speaker 5: they love Marketplace, They've caught up to us. 119 00:04:58,513 --> 00:05:00,954 Speaker 4: They love the candy crush. I don't reckon this is 120 00:05:01,354 --> 00:05:04,513 Speaker 4: necessarily a bad thing. I read something in the Guardian 121 00:05:04,834 --> 00:05:07,993 Speaker 4: about how when you're using screen in an active way, 122 00:05:08,073 --> 00:05:11,513 Speaker 4: like on a phone, so you're communicating, you're bargaining on Facebook, MicroPlace, 123 00:05:11,753 --> 00:05:15,993 Speaker 4: you're playing wordle, the rates of cognitive decline completely plummet. 124 00:05:15,993 --> 00:05:18,433 Speaker 4: Like it's quite good for their brains as opposed to 125 00:05:18,474 --> 00:05:21,193 Speaker 4: watching Antiques road show for five hours. Like screen time 126 00:05:21,234 --> 00:05:23,794 Speaker 4: is not all equal, and if you're doing active things 127 00:05:23,794 --> 00:05:25,993 Speaker 4: on screen time, like a lot of boomers do, that's 128 00:05:26,313 --> 00:05:27,433 Speaker 4: not necessarily a bad things. 129 00:05:27,753 --> 00:05:30,113 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I guess their brain is fully developed as well, 130 00:05:30,154 --> 00:05:32,553 Speaker 1: so they're not as susceptible to kind of the brain 131 00:05:32,714 --> 00:05:36,473 Speaker 1: rock content like little kids can be. But then the 132 00:05:36,513 --> 00:05:38,633 Speaker 1: downside of that is if they're sitting there for half, 133 00:05:38,633 --> 00:05:42,034 Speaker 1: they're waking hours on a screen, like movement is probably 134 00:05:42,313 --> 00:05:44,474 Speaker 1: at risk as well. You know, like we try to 135 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,833 Speaker 1: say to kids, get off your screen and get outside. 136 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:47,594 Speaker 1: They're not moving. 137 00:05:47,794 --> 00:05:50,874 Speaker 3: Are you trying to parent your parents? Cloth for me? 138 00:05:51,234 --> 00:05:53,874 Speaker 3: Let them have their wordle and their candy crush. 139 00:05:54,073 --> 00:05:56,073 Speaker 2: Have you called your parents, Amelia and told them not 140 00:05:56,113 --> 00:05:57,034 Speaker 2: to fall for scams? 141 00:05:57,553 --> 00:05:57,714 Speaker 6: No? 142 00:05:57,953 --> 00:05:58,354 Speaker 3: Should? I? 143 00:05:58,553 --> 00:05:59,794 Speaker 1: Oh, probably need to. 144 00:06:00,113 --> 00:06:02,633 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, we talk about digital literacy for kids, 145 00:06:02,714 --> 00:06:05,193 Speaker 4: but it is so important for. 146 00:06:05,274 --> 00:06:06,274 Speaker 2: Our parents as well. 147 00:06:06,313 --> 00:06:07,953 Speaker 4: I had to ring my parents and give them the 148 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,873 Speaker 4: heads up on a few scams that were going around 149 00:06:09,873 --> 00:06:12,714 Speaker 4: where I was just like, oh, my parents are sitting ducks. 150 00:06:12,753 --> 00:06:14,753 Speaker 4: They will fall for this in a half a second. 151 00:06:15,313 --> 00:06:18,833 Speaker 4: And the stats are crazy, like two hundred and sixty 152 00:06:18,914 --> 00:06:22,234 Speaker 4: million dollars just this year have been scammed out of 153 00:06:22,274 --> 00:06:25,794 Speaker 4: people in this country. So and it's always investment scams, 154 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:29,794 Speaker 4: fishing scams, romance scams, and they're sophisticated and they just 155 00:06:30,154 --> 00:06:32,594 Speaker 4: go after these older people who don't have the digital 156 00:06:32,633 --> 00:06:33,834 Speaker 4: literacy skills that we do. 157 00:06:34,034 --> 00:06:35,194 Speaker 2: Okay, well, what's boring? 158 00:06:35,393 --> 00:06:36,234 Speaker 1: Is this so boring? 159 00:06:36,513 --> 00:06:40,873 Speaker 5: That's on the to do list. I wrote about something 160 00:06:41,073 --> 00:06:44,153 Speaker 5: recently in an article in the Free Press called The 161 00:06:44,234 --> 00:06:46,954 Speaker 5: Secrets to Parenting is to do less. So obviously I 162 00:06:47,034 --> 00:06:50,674 Speaker 5: clicked on this headline being a type B and it 163 00:06:50,794 --> 00:06:55,313 Speaker 5: has a very practical way to do less as a parent, because, 164 00:06:55,553 --> 00:06:57,834 Speaker 5: as we've talked about on the show, doing too much 165 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,753 Speaker 5: as a parent can be bad for you and bad 166 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:00,353 Speaker 5: for your kids. 167 00:07:00,873 --> 00:07:01,834 Speaker 3: Here's how you do less. 168 00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,073 Speaker 1: Okay, please tell me, I'm taking notes. 169 00:07:04,513 --> 00:07:06,514 Speaker 3: Get a clicker. Do you know what a clicker is like? 170 00:07:06,674 --> 00:07:08,314 Speaker 1: When you to go in and out of clubs and 171 00:07:08,354 --> 00:07:11,114 Speaker 1: they'd be like clickick once aain moms. 172 00:07:10,914 --> 00:07:12,874 Speaker 5: They thought you might be familiar with them from sport 173 00:07:12,953 --> 00:07:14,234 Speaker 5: because I know you're very sporty. 174 00:07:14,674 --> 00:07:15,554 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've seen them. 175 00:07:15,874 --> 00:07:16,034 Speaker 1: Yep. 176 00:07:16,194 --> 00:07:17,434 Speaker 2: You can get them from office works. 177 00:07:17,514 --> 00:07:18,594 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like ten bucks. 178 00:07:19,554 --> 00:07:22,834 Speaker 5: Get a clicker and click it every time over the 179 00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:26,274 Speaker 5: course of thirty minutes that you issue a command to 180 00:07:26,314 --> 00:07:29,713 Speaker 5: your children, every single time, So whether it's put your 181 00:07:29,754 --> 00:07:32,713 Speaker 5: shoes back on the shoe rack, put your clothes in 182 00:07:32,754 --> 00:07:35,754 Speaker 5: the laundry basket, go and have a bath, come to 183 00:07:35,794 --> 00:07:37,874 Speaker 5: the dinner table, just click it every time. 184 00:07:38,074 --> 00:07:40,514 Speaker 4: That's TV TENN the TV off, turn the TV off ten, 185 00:07:40,554 --> 00:07:41,674 Speaker 4: the TV off ten, the TV off? 186 00:07:42,234 --> 00:07:46,074 Speaker 5: Yes, every time, even if it's a repeated command. Researchers 187 00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,594 Speaker 5: have done this. They have given parents the clickers and 188 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:52,554 Speaker 5: watched them, and what they've discovered is that millennial parents 189 00:07:52,594 --> 00:07:56,114 Speaker 5: are issuing too many commands. How many commands you might ask? 190 00:07:56,514 --> 00:07:59,354 Speaker 5: They had parents issuing up to one hundred commands in 191 00:07:59,393 --> 00:07:59,994 Speaker 5: thirty minutes. 192 00:08:00,114 --> 00:08:02,674 Speaker 1: Oh my god, but Amelia, that's because they don't listen. 193 00:08:03,154 --> 00:08:05,634 Speaker 1: We're saying the same thing over and over again. 194 00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:07,074 Speaker 2: Do you get double clicks for how long? 195 00:08:07,114 --> 00:08:07,754 Speaker 1: How do you say it? 196 00:08:07,794 --> 00:08:10,273 Speaker 4: Because I would get like when I start to scream, 197 00:08:10,434 --> 00:08:11,473 Speaker 4: do you get five clicks? 198 00:08:11,834 --> 00:08:14,914 Speaker 3: That counterpart, I've got some bad news. 199 00:08:15,234 --> 00:08:18,074 Speaker 5: They also counted how many of these commands the kids 200 00:08:18,114 --> 00:08:23,033 Speaker 5: actually listen, and the average was about one third. So 201 00:08:23,114 --> 00:08:25,074 Speaker 5: if you o show one hundred commands, I don't know. 202 00:08:25,114 --> 00:08:26,874 Speaker 5: I'm not very good at mass I think that means 203 00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:27,994 Speaker 5: about thirty. 204 00:08:27,794 --> 00:08:28,393 Speaker 3: A listen to. 205 00:08:29,434 --> 00:08:31,674 Speaker 5: So if you're lucky, maybe the clothes get put in 206 00:08:31,674 --> 00:08:33,914 Speaker 5: the laundry basket and the TV gets turned off if 207 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:37,554 Speaker 5: you're lucky. So the click test, I'm going to tell 208 00:08:37,554 --> 00:08:39,554 Speaker 5: you why that's revolutionary in a second. 209 00:08:39,554 --> 00:08:41,194 Speaker 3: But first of all, I want to know whether you'd 210 00:08:41,194 --> 00:08:41,874 Speaker 3: actually do that. 211 00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:43,954 Speaker 4: Yeah, I want to go to office works and get 212 00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:45,474 Speaker 4: a click guest straight away because I think I'm going 213 00:08:45,554 --> 00:08:46,554 Speaker 4: to be in the hundreds. 214 00:08:47,274 --> 00:08:52,514 Speaker 2: But when you sent me this article, I loved it. 215 00:08:52,674 --> 00:08:55,514 Speaker 4: I drank it up like I was a camel in 216 00:08:55,554 --> 00:08:57,394 Speaker 4: the desert who had not had a drink of water 217 00:08:57,474 --> 00:09:00,074 Speaker 4: in four hundred days. I drank it like I was 218 00:09:00,114 --> 00:09:02,274 Speaker 4: a child that went to school without their own drink 219 00:09:02,274 --> 00:09:03,994 Speaker 4: bottle and doesn't know how to work a bubbler. 220 00:09:04,194 --> 00:09:06,434 Speaker 2: Like I was so into it. 221 00:09:06,554 --> 00:09:10,354 Speaker 4: And what this article says it sets the scene with 222 00:09:10,514 --> 00:09:13,674 Speaker 4: like forty one percent of parents are so stressed that 223 00:09:13,714 --> 00:09:17,634 Speaker 4: they can't function right. Why this is so revolutionary is 224 00:09:17,674 --> 00:09:19,914 Speaker 4: because the way that we parent as millennials has been 225 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,674 Speaker 4: labeled as intensive. And it's not our fault. There's like 226 00:09:22,794 --> 00:09:25,194 Speaker 4: all these things shifting in society and culture that make 227 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:28,074 Speaker 4: us parent in an intensive way. But what this article 228 00:09:28,114 --> 00:09:31,394 Speaker 4: says is that there are three modern fallacies when it 229 00:09:31,394 --> 00:09:34,074 Speaker 4: comes to parenting. The first one is more is more 230 00:09:34,434 --> 00:09:37,874 Speaker 4: like the more the parent does, the better the outcome, 231 00:09:37,954 --> 00:09:40,314 Speaker 4: and that is not true. All the research says that 232 00:09:40,394 --> 00:09:42,514 Speaker 4: is not true at all. The second fallacy is like 233 00:09:42,754 --> 00:09:45,394 Speaker 4: protect your kids. You've got to shield them from discomfort 234 00:09:45,434 --> 00:09:48,514 Speaker 4: and shield them from distress. That is not necessarily good 235 00:09:48,514 --> 00:09:51,954 Speaker 4: outcomes either. And the third part of this intensive parenting 236 00:09:51,994 --> 00:09:54,994 Speaker 4: is that every misbehavior you see in your kids has 237 00:09:55,034 --> 00:09:57,754 Speaker 4: a deep meaning. So we say, oh, I can see 238 00:09:57,794 --> 00:10:00,354 Speaker 4: that you're feeling angry right now, how can we help 239 00:10:00,394 --> 00:10:03,034 Speaker 4: solve this problem? Like it is so intense to parent 240 00:10:03,074 --> 00:10:05,634 Speaker 4: in this way? And yeah, the whole premise of this 241 00:10:05,674 --> 00:10:12,354 Speaker 4: thing is like stop, just stop. Less commands, less supervision, 242 00:10:13,074 --> 00:10:16,874 Speaker 4: just natural consequences. And I felt like I had been 243 00:10:16,954 --> 00:10:18,274 Speaker 4: slapped across the face. 244 00:10:18,514 --> 00:10:20,754 Speaker 1: It's so hard, though, to think of that in theory, 245 00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:23,354 Speaker 1: because you're like, well, if I don't tell them to 246 00:10:23,394 --> 00:10:25,194 Speaker 1: not have their feet on the wall, or I don't 247 00:10:25,234 --> 00:10:27,914 Speaker 1: tell them to say thank you ten times until they 248 00:10:27,954 --> 00:10:31,674 Speaker 1: do it, then am I raising a rubbish kid, like 249 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,874 Speaker 1: a kid that's going to be a bad member of society? 250 00:10:33,914 --> 00:10:35,953 Speaker 1: I think that's the thing we're all stressed about, right, 251 00:10:35,994 --> 00:10:38,394 Speaker 1: So how do you actually pull back and do less? 252 00:10:38,434 --> 00:10:42,794 Speaker 5: So the article suggests that in situations like that scenario 253 00:10:42,834 --> 00:10:44,794 Speaker 5: where you said you got to say thank you to 254 00:10:44,914 --> 00:10:46,074 Speaker 5: the nice person. 255 00:10:46,394 --> 00:10:48,994 Speaker 3: The article says that you need to let the world 256 00:10:49,194 --> 00:10:50,834 Speaker 3: do your parenting for. 257 00:10:50,714 --> 00:10:53,594 Speaker 5: You, okay, And this is a scary concept. It is 258 00:10:53,634 --> 00:10:54,594 Speaker 5: a scary concept. 259 00:10:54,994 --> 00:10:56,754 Speaker 2: What do you mean? What does it mean by that? 260 00:10:57,194 --> 00:11:01,274 Speaker 5: It means let the physical world teach your children how 261 00:11:01,314 --> 00:11:04,314 Speaker 5: to behave So a very simple example from my own 262 00:11:04,354 --> 00:11:07,594 Speaker 5: life is I will always remember that shortly after having 263 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:10,474 Speaker 5: my first child, you know, a toddler was running around. 264 00:11:10,474 --> 00:11:11,594 Speaker 5: I didn't know what to do with them. And we 265 00:11:11,674 --> 00:11:14,394 Speaker 5: went over to a friend's place. And this friend had 266 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:18,034 Speaker 5: had her first child at twenty and then had three 267 00:11:18,074 --> 00:11:21,434 Speaker 5: subsequent children. Suffice to say, she was a much more 268 00:11:21,474 --> 00:11:25,194 Speaker 5: experienced parent than I was or my partner was. And 269 00:11:25,234 --> 00:11:27,994 Speaker 5: the kids were playing with a candle on the coffee 270 00:11:27,994 --> 00:11:30,714 Speaker 5: table as the adults were sitting around drinking wine and 271 00:11:30,754 --> 00:11:35,234 Speaker 5: crying about their lives. And my kid was putting his 272 00:11:35,554 --> 00:11:39,674 Speaker 5: finger like on top of the flame sort of, and 273 00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,634 Speaker 5: my partner and I kept saying stop doing that, and 274 00:11:42,714 --> 00:11:46,794 Speaker 5: he would keep doing it, and then clicked. My kids 275 00:11:47,994 --> 00:11:51,514 Speaker 5: didn't tell her child to stop doing it, And we said, 276 00:11:51,554 --> 00:11:53,794 Speaker 5: shouldn't you tell your child to stop doing that? She's like, no, 277 00:11:53,874 --> 00:11:57,794 Speaker 5: he'll learn. If he burns his finger, he will learn. 278 00:11:58,434 --> 00:12:00,754 Speaker 5: That is what this article means. You have to let 279 00:12:00,794 --> 00:12:03,194 Speaker 5: the world do your parenting for you. But that's why 280 00:12:03,194 --> 00:12:05,954 Speaker 5: it's scary because it means consequences and it's. 281 00:12:05,794 --> 00:12:09,114 Speaker 1: Relinquish of control, isn't it. Like I have a theory 282 00:12:09,154 --> 00:12:11,354 Speaker 1: that I feel like gentle parenting or what we were 283 00:12:11,354 --> 00:12:14,154 Speaker 1: sold as gentle parenting, has a lot to answer for 284 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,034 Speaker 1: because I think a big part of that was that 285 00:12:17,034 --> 00:12:18,954 Speaker 1: we were told, you know, it's all about connection, like 286 00:12:18,994 --> 00:12:20,754 Speaker 1: you've got to you've got to be in their world 287 00:12:20,754 --> 00:12:23,354 Speaker 1: and down on their level and create that connection with them. 288 00:12:23,594 --> 00:12:27,474 Speaker 1: But we've mistaken the connection for like correction because we're 289 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,914 Speaker 1: so up in their grill. I feel like then once 290 00:12:29,954 --> 00:12:32,594 Speaker 1: we're there, we feel like we have to be constantly 291 00:12:32,594 --> 00:12:34,954 Speaker 1: steering them and correcting them and doing all the right things. 292 00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:36,914 Speaker 1: And as you say, it's just it's not going in 293 00:12:36,954 --> 00:12:40,034 Speaker 1: any way. So what is the point. We just do 294 00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,914 Speaker 1: need to step back. There was a podcast episode a 295 00:12:42,914 --> 00:12:45,114 Speaker 1: while back with Dak Shepherd and he was talking about 296 00:12:45,114 --> 00:12:48,194 Speaker 1: how with their two daughters, they're raising them almost to 297 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,274 Speaker 1: be intentionally disrespectful. 298 00:12:50,314 --> 00:12:51,674 Speaker 3: This is his daughters with Kristen Bell. 299 00:12:51,834 --> 00:12:53,994 Speaker 1: With Kristen Bell. Yeah, so they've got two daughters, they're 300 00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:58,114 Speaker 1: twelve and ten, and they allow them to talk back, 301 00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,274 Speaker 1: They allow them to have opinions with them and with 302 00:13:00,314 --> 00:13:02,674 Speaker 1: other people. And I guess this is what we're saying 303 00:13:02,674 --> 00:13:05,674 Speaker 1: of well, let society do it. Like, if they're going 304 00:13:05,674 --> 00:13:09,234 Speaker 1: to talk back, then you know they'll see the consequence 305 00:13:09,274 --> 00:13:11,234 Speaker 1: of that if people don't like what they're saying, or 306 00:13:11,714 --> 00:13:13,954 Speaker 1: they'll advocate for themselves, and then that's a good thing. 307 00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:17,714 Speaker 2: That feels very radical to me. But then who are 308 00:13:17,754 --> 00:13:19,274 Speaker 2: we teaching our kids to be polite? 309 00:13:19,314 --> 00:13:19,514 Speaker 1: For? 310 00:13:20,074 --> 00:13:22,554 Speaker 2: Yes, to show that we are good parents. 311 00:13:22,794 --> 00:13:24,834 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing. A lot of that I really 312 00:13:24,874 --> 00:13:28,354 Speaker 1: do think is driven by the reflection on us, isn't it. 313 00:13:28,394 --> 00:13:30,194 Speaker 1: Like when you think about it, it's because you want 314 00:13:30,194 --> 00:13:32,114 Speaker 1: them to be out in publican people go, oh, you've 315 00:13:32,154 --> 00:13:35,114 Speaker 1: done such a good job, Like they are so well mattered, 316 00:13:35,154 --> 00:13:37,754 Speaker 1: they are so well behavior. Right, it's totally about us, 317 00:13:37,794 --> 00:13:38,154 Speaker 1: not them. 318 00:13:38,354 --> 00:13:41,114 Speaker 4: Like when my kids open get given a birthday present, 319 00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:46,754 Speaker 4: I'm always like card first, card first, card first, click, 320 00:13:46,794 --> 00:13:52,154 Speaker 4: click click click. That is because I want people to think, oh, 321 00:13:52,154 --> 00:13:54,394 Speaker 4: they've been raised right, you know they know that it's 322 00:13:54,474 --> 00:13:55,074 Speaker 4: card first. 323 00:13:55,314 --> 00:13:57,594 Speaker 3: And she's such a good point. 324 00:13:58,074 --> 00:13:59,994 Speaker 2: Completely, it's centering us. 325 00:14:00,434 --> 00:14:02,514 Speaker 1: Have you taught them to pretend they don't see the 326 00:14:02,514 --> 00:14:04,874 Speaker 1: cash fall out when they open it as well. From 327 00:14:04,914 --> 00:14:06,874 Speaker 1: like their grandparents. 328 00:14:06,074 --> 00:14:06,874 Speaker 2: We're not there yet. 329 00:14:09,274 --> 00:14:10,994 Speaker 4: Can I tell you about my friend Connie, because I 330 00:14:10,994 --> 00:14:13,754 Speaker 4: think there's a middle ground here. We don't necessarily have 331 00:14:13,794 --> 00:14:15,754 Speaker 4: to have your kids burning themselves on candles. 332 00:14:16,514 --> 00:14:19,074 Speaker 2: But she does this with her kids. And she was 333 00:14:19,194 --> 00:14:19,994 Speaker 2: like us. 334 00:14:20,154 --> 00:14:25,154 Speaker 4: Intense parenting, snowplow parenting, doing all the things for everyone. 335 00:14:25,954 --> 00:14:26,874 Speaker 2: But one day she. 336 00:14:26,954 --> 00:14:30,074 Speaker 4: Just snapped, right, kids weren't listening. She was stressed, and 337 00:14:30,114 --> 00:14:32,394 Speaker 4: she snapped, and she thought, I'm going to parent like 338 00:14:32,434 --> 00:14:35,954 Speaker 4: my mum did. So she calls it the Rosy Blafary method, 339 00:14:36,194 --> 00:14:39,034 Speaker 4: and she sat them down and informed them of their 340 00:14:39,074 --> 00:14:41,994 Speaker 4: responsibilities and said, all right, now it's over to you now. 341 00:14:41,994 --> 00:14:43,554 Speaker 4: I didn't know any of this until she came to 342 00:14:43,594 --> 00:14:45,914 Speaker 4: my house one day for a catch up and she 343 00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:47,954 Speaker 4: didn't bring any drink bottles for her kids. 344 00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,394 Speaker 2: I'm thirsty. 345 00:14:51,034 --> 00:14:54,554 Speaker 4: They said, too bad. She said too bad, that's all 346 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:57,314 Speaker 4: she said. She didn't say, oh honey, I'll get your drink. 347 00:14:57,394 --> 00:14:58,114 Speaker 4: She said too bad. 348 00:14:58,154 --> 00:14:59,194 Speaker 2: And do you know what the kids did. 349 00:14:59,234 --> 00:15:00,874 Speaker 4: They went and got a cap out of the carpet 350 00:15:00,874 --> 00:15:03,154 Speaker 4: and got themselves a drink, and then they get in 351 00:15:03,154 --> 00:15:04,394 Speaker 4: the car to go home and it's late at night, 352 00:15:04,394 --> 00:15:05,394 Speaker 4: and I say, oh, do you want to take some 353 00:15:05,474 --> 00:15:08,754 Speaker 4: yogurts with you or some snacks? She's like, no, too bad, 354 00:15:08,874 --> 00:15:10,274 Speaker 4: they can just eat when they get home. 355 00:15:11,074 --> 00:15:13,234 Speaker 2: My jaw was on the floor. I was like, I 356 00:15:13,314 --> 00:15:15,634 Speaker 2: want to be this. I think this is the way. 357 00:15:15,834 --> 00:15:18,674 Speaker 4: And her kids, Yeah, if they don't take a jacket 358 00:15:18,714 --> 00:15:21,034 Speaker 4: when it's cold outside, she lets them get cold. 359 00:15:21,274 --> 00:15:21,754 Speaker 3: I love that. 360 00:15:21,834 --> 00:15:24,554 Speaker 5: I feel like my children are so much better hydrated 361 00:15:24,554 --> 00:15:25,114 Speaker 5: than I was. 362 00:15:25,314 --> 00:15:27,394 Speaker 3: I spend a lot of time washing water bottle. 363 00:15:27,514 --> 00:15:29,434 Speaker 1: We didn't I don't think I owned a water bottle 364 00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:32,874 Speaker 1: until yeah, twenty years old. 365 00:15:32,954 --> 00:15:37,314 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I love that. Mind. What's the parenting method again? 366 00:15:37,514 --> 00:15:38,114 Speaker 3: What's it called? 367 00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,354 Speaker 2: The Rosie Bla Faring method? 368 00:15:39,474 --> 00:15:40,874 Speaker 3: The method? 369 00:15:40,914 --> 00:15:42,354 Speaker 2: Yeah, the Italian Mama method. 370 00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:46,834 Speaker 4: So this article, it posits an independence activity that you 371 00:15:46,874 --> 00:15:48,874 Speaker 4: can try with your kids, and it says what you 372 00:15:48,874 --> 00:15:52,354 Speaker 4: should do is pull out a calendar and say to 373 00:15:52,394 --> 00:15:54,474 Speaker 4: your kids, sit them down and say to them what 374 00:15:54,514 --> 00:15:56,714 Speaker 4: would you like to do on your own that you 375 00:15:56,754 --> 00:16:00,514 Speaker 4: don't already do? And then when they tell you, you 376 00:16:00,554 --> 00:16:04,114 Speaker 4: write those things in every day right in the square 377 00:16:04,154 --> 00:16:06,354 Speaker 4: what they want to do on their own that they 378 00:16:06,354 --> 00:16:11,474 Speaker 4: don't already do, and it's called independent activities. All the 379 00:16:11,474 --> 00:16:14,274 Speaker 4: research says that they reduce anxiety and they build resilience. 380 00:16:14,314 --> 00:16:16,514 Speaker 4: So it might be something like I want to go 381 00:16:16,594 --> 00:16:19,554 Speaker 4: to the shops and buy a milk. I want to 382 00:16:19,754 --> 00:16:22,274 Speaker 4: ride my bike to school by myself. I want to 383 00:16:22,594 --> 00:16:26,154 Speaker 4: cook some muffins. But the rules of these activities are 384 00:16:26,674 --> 00:16:29,714 Speaker 4: there can be no parent helping and there can be 385 00:16:29,754 --> 00:16:33,074 Speaker 4: no parent even present while they do it. 386 00:16:33,394 --> 00:16:36,754 Speaker 1: This sounds like that show you recommended ages ago mons 387 00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:39,234 Speaker 1: of the children in Japan where they send them off 388 00:16:39,274 --> 00:16:42,314 Speaker 1: to yeah to do like the mini tasks on their own, 389 00:16:42,314 --> 00:16:45,074 Speaker 1: and just how capable they actually are when you're not 390 00:16:45,194 --> 00:16:46,154 Speaker 1: there interfering. 391 00:16:46,474 --> 00:16:49,474 Speaker 2: The flaw in this argument is if I sat my 392 00:16:49,554 --> 00:16:53,594 Speaker 2: children down, legit and said what would you like to 393 00:16:53,634 --> 00:16:57,674 Speaker 2: do on your own? They'd say watch TV? Watch TV. 394 00:16:57,794 --> 00:17:00,274 Speaker 2: That would be their answer for every day winecraft. 395 00:17:00,514 --> 00:17:01,594 Speaker 3: Yeah. 396 00:17:01,634 --> 00:17:04,714 Speaker 5: Does the article address the fact that kids just want 397 00:17:04,754 --> 00:17:08,114 Speaker 5: to watch screens like I. I wish that they said 398 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:10,914 Speaker 5: bake muffins, But it's not going to be that. It's 399 00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:12,874 Speaker 5: nice going to I think that's part of why we 400 00:17:12,954 --> 00:17:16,754 Speaker 5: do have to cut ourselves some slack, because look, every 401 00:17:16,834 --> 00:17:20,474 Speaker 5: generation has this kind of stereotype that people use to 402 00:17:20,514 --> 00:17:22,954 Speaker 5: put them down and in terms of how their parents. 403 00:17:22,994 --> 00:17:25,274 Speaker 5: So for baby boomers, it was the latch key generation 404 00:17:26,114 --> 00:17:29,434 Speaker 5: that's sort of benign neglect. For Gen X, it was 405 00:17:29,474 --> 00:17:34,274 Speaker 5: the idea of helicopter parenting, and for millennials it's intensive parenting. 406 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,754 Speaker 5: And maybe we practice intensive parenting because there's a lot 407 00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,474 Speaker 5: to be intense about these days. 408 00:17:38,794 --> 00:17:41,674 Speaker 4: Yeah, can I tell you something. I'm trying this summer 409 00:17:42,074 --> 00:17:44,313 Speaker 4: to try and be relaxed. After reading this article, I'm 410 00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:45,513 Speaker 4: calling it the summer shrug. 411 00:17:45,634 --> 00:17:47,474 Speaker 1: Okay, how do we do a summer shrug? 412 00:17:47,714 --> 00:17:50,714 Speaker 4: The whole vibe of it is you go, eh, it's summer. 413 00:17:50,994 --> 00:17:54,074 Speaker 4: So if my kids are in water during the day, 414 00:17:54,154 --> 00:17:57,073 Speaker 4: like if they run under a sprinkler or they go 415 00:17:57,154 --> 00:17:59,754 Speaker 4: for a swim, I'm like, no bath tonight because it's 416 00:17:59,754 --> 00:18:00,793 Speaker 4: like it's summer. 417 00:18:01,274 --> 00:18:01,954 Speaker 1: That's gene. 418 00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:05,834 Speaker 4: They want like zooper dupers all day. I'm like, that's 419 00:18:05,914 --> 00:18:10,434 Speaker 4: hydration summer. It feels like in summer, like suddenly it's 420 00:18:10,434 --> 00:18:11,514 Speaker 4: okay to be a relaxed parent. 421 00:18:11,554 --> 00:18:13,914 Speaker 1: I love you. Yeah, mine's going to be no hot 422 00:18:13,954 --> 00:18:16,994 Speaker 1: food then, like it would just be picky platters of 423 00:18:17,074 --> 00:18:19,714 Speaker 1: stuff I don't want to Yes, So if we just 424 00:18:19,754 --> 00:18:23,154 Speaker 1: eat cold it's off a platter, then that's going to 425 00:18:23,194 --> 00:18:26,754 Speaker 1: be my summer. Shrugs. It's fine kids, exactly. 426 00:18:27,114 --> 00:18:29,874 Speaker 5: This immediately puts to mind for me. I have a 427 00:18:29,914 --> 00:18:31,754 Speaker 5: friend who is a friend of the pod. He listens 428 00:18:31,754 --> 00:18:34,514 Speaker 5: every week. His name is Joe, Hi Joe, Hi Joe, 429 00:18:34,634 --> 00:18:38,513 Speaker 5: and I met him during the pandemic when our kids 430 00:18:38,514 --> 00:18:41,034 Speaker 5: would go to the same playground together and that was 431 00:18:41,074 --> 00:18:43,714 Speaker 5: the only place where you could socialize with anyone was 432 00:18:43,794 --> 00:18:47,274 Speaker 5: outside of the playground, and we became friends there. And 433 00:18:47,714 --> 00:18:51,234 Speaker 5: every day an ice cream truck would come by the playground, 434 00:18:51,914 --> 00:18:55,754 Speaker 5: and I noticed that every day Joe would shrug and 435 00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:57,754 Speaker 5: his kids would go and buy an ice cream with 436 00:18:57,794 --> 00:18:58,714 Speaker 5: some money he gave them. 437 00:18:59,194 --> 00:19:00,914 Speaker 3: And one day I was like, because. 438 00:19:00,714 --> 00:19:02,834 Speaker 5: I would be always wrestling with whether or not my 439 00:19:02,914 --> 00:19:05,434 Speaker 5: kids deserved and ice cream that day, Well, you had 440 00:19:05,474 --> 00:19:07,994 Speaker 5: one yesterday, You've had four this week and so on. 441 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,154 Speaker 5: I said to him, but your kids have an ice 442 00:19:10,194 --> 00:19:10,874 Speaker 5: cream every day? 443 00:19:10,874 --> 00:19:11,313 Speaker 3: Why is that? 444 00:19:11,434 --> 00:19:14,434 Speaker 5: And then he turns to me he goes, it's a pandemic, Amelia, 445 00:19:14,514 --> 00:19:16,834 Speaker 5: they get an ice cream every day. And I was like, 446 00:19:16,954 --> 00:19:17,754 Speaker 5: that's brilliant. 447 00:19:17,834 --> 00:19:19,954 Speaker 1: Yeah, we just need to care a little less don't 448 00:19:19,954 --> 00:19:22,033 Speaker 1: we shrugs all around this summer? 449 00:19:22,914 --> 00:19:23,354 Speaker 6: All right? 450 00:19:23,434 --> 00:19:25,554 Speaker 4: I've got an am I the ausehole for you, and 451 00:19:25,754 --> 00:19:28,634 Speaker 4: I want you too to be the judge and jury 452 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:29,594 Speaker 4: on this one, okay. 453 00:19:29,514 --> 00:19:31,754 Speaker 1: Please, Well I love judging. Bring it on. 454 00:19:32,914 --> 00:19:36,434 Speaker 4: I did one semester of law at Uni. I shall 455 00:19:36,514 --> 00:19:37,313 Speaker 4: channel it now for you. 456 00:19:37,514 --> 00:19:39,794 Speaker 5: Mon's I did a semester of law too, So between 457 00:19:39,834 --> 00:19:41,754 Speaker 5: the two of us we're basically lawyers. 458 00:19:41,834 --> 00:19:43,074 Speaker 3: Kim Kardashi and move over. 459 00:19:43,314 --> 00:19:47,194 Speaker 1: And I've seen legally blonde so many times, so excellent, 460 00:19:47,274 --> 00:19:47,754 Speaker 1: We've got it. 461 00:19:49,514 --> 00:19:53,754 Speaker 2: I object Exhibit eight. This is the scene. It's a 462 00:19:53,794 --> 00:19:54,994 Speaker 2: sunny afternoon. 463 00:19:55,474 --> 00:19:58,754 Speaker 4: My seven year old's birthday treat was yochi okay, with 464 00:19:58,834 --> 00:20:00,994 Speaker 4: a few of his friends. So the kids are sugared 465 00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:03,954 Speaker 4: up to the eyeballs. Ye, So we decide me and 466 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,874 Speaker 4: a few other parents to run it off at the 467 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:11,074 Speaker 4: nearby public square. Let the record show this particular public square. 468 00:20:11,114 --> 00:20:15,914 Speaker 4: This public space is described by the urban landscapers who 469 00:20:15,954 --> 00:20:19,793 Speaker 4: built it as playful, okay. And at the center of 470 00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:22,634 Speaker 4: this public square is something they call a ripple lounge, 471 00:20:22,674 --> 00:20:25,474 Speaker 4: and it is the scene of the alleged crime. I 472 00:20:25,594 --> 00:20:27,834 Speaker 4: have provided a photograph for you both to see the 473 00:20:27,914 --> 00:20:28,593 Speaker 4: ripple lounge. 474 00:20:28,634 --> 00:20:31,194 Speaker 1: She's entered it into evidence. Yes, we see, thank you. 475 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:36,114 Speaker 4: Mon's Please note on this official photograph from the website, 476 00:20:36,274 --> 00:20:38,994 Speaker 4: there are children playing and climbing. 477 00:20:38,674 --> 00:20:42,594 Speaker 2: On the ripple lounge. There is okay, yes, enter the man. 478 00:20:43,354 --> 00:20:43,634 Speaker 3: Now. 479 00:20:43,794 --> 00:20:47,554 Speaker 4: He's sitting there on the ripple lounge having a peaceful 480 00:20:47,634 --> 00:20:51,154 Speaker 4: afternoon moment in the sun. Let the record show he 481 00:20:51,354 --> 00:20:52,033 Speaker 4: was there first. 482 00:20:52,154 --> 00:20:54,554 Speaker 3: Can I ask raffly how old? Oh? 483 00:20:54,634 --> 00:20:58,914 Speaker 2: Yeah, he would have been late fifties, early sixties. Do 484 00:20:58,954 --> 00:20:59,914 Speaker 2: you want more descriptors? 485 00:20:59,954 --> 00:21:01,994 Speaker 4: I feel like that's going to stereotype him, and I 486 00:21:02,034 --> 00:21:04,194 Speaker 4: want you, as the judge and jury, to remain neutral. 487 00:21:05,434 --> 00:21:08,514 Speaker 4: So my mum radar on as it always is, And 488 00:21:08,754 --> 00:21:10,914 Speaker 4: like the kids start to play and they're climbing on 489 00:21:10,914 --> 00:21:14,914 Speaker 4: the ripple lounges and no one's crashing into him or 490 00:21:14,954 --> 00:21:18,314 Speaker 4: touching him. They're just playing around him. There's a lot 491 00:21:18,354 --> 00:21:21,394 Speaker 4: of noise and movement and play around him, and I 492 00:21:21,434 --> 00:21:24,474 Speaker 4: can feel sort of the air change and I can 493 00:21:24,514 --> 00:21:28,313 Speaker 4: see him getting huffy. And he stands up and he 494 00:21:28,434 --> 00:21:32,274 Speaker 4: marches over to me and says, and I quote, are 495 00:21:32,394 --> 00:21:37,194 Speaker 4: you the parent? And I was like yes, and he said, 496 00:21:37,554 --> 00:21:39,554 Speaker 4: get some fucking control. 497 00:21:39,194 --> 00:21:39,834 Speaker 3: Of your kids. 498 00:21:40,714 --> 00:21:46,634 Speaker 4: You are what's wrong with parenting today. Now, I anticipated 499 00:21:46,634 --> 00:21:49,154 Speaker 4: this because I could see him. I profiled him. I 500 00:21:49,234 --> 00:21:51,114 Speaker 4: was like, I could see him getting huffy. I could 501 00:21:51,154 --> 00:21:53,154 Speaker 4: see the kid. I was watching the kids, thinking, oh, 502 00:21:53,234 --> 00:21:55,394 Speaker 4: if anyone touches him, he might throw a leg out 503 00:21:55,474 --> 00:21:59,074 Speaker 4: or something. So I was anticipating it. I would say, 504 00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:02,914 Speaker 4: maybe I was spoiling for it. And so instead of saying, oh, 505 00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:06,434 Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, I channeled the power of this podcast 506 00:22:06,434 --> 00:22:09,834 Speaker 4: and you two. I said, sir, you're in a public 507 00:22:09,874 --> 00:22:14,114 Speaker 4: space and that means there's going to be children around 508 00:22:14,274 --> 00:22:16,553 Speaker 4: and you have to share this space with other people. 509 00:22:17,034 --> 00:22:20,394 Speaker 4: And to that, he said, get fucked fuck off. You're 510 00:22:20,554 --> 00:22:25,114 Speaker 4: what's wrong with society. And then I doubled down. I said, 511 00:22:25,514 --> 00:22:29,074 Speaker 4: what's wrong with society is that there's an obesity epidemic 512 00:22:29,154 --> 00:22:31,553 Speaker 4: and we need our kids to move their bodies and 513 00:22:31,674 --> 00:22:34,874 Speaker 4: guess where they do that in a public space. He 514 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:38,074 Speaker 4: said fuck off and he walked off, and I said, sayah, 515 00:22:38,394 --> 00:22:42,674 Speaker 4: I was like, so make later not my finest moment, Okay, 516 00:22:42,794 --> 00:22:45,754 Speaker 4: I admit I saw red. I matched his energy. All 517 00:22:45,754 --> 00:22:51,274 Speaker 4: the other school parents who were there said nothing, Stacy, 518 00:22:52,194 --> 00:22:53,274 Speaker 4: he was there first. 519 00:22:53,794 --> 00:22:56,074 Speaker 2: Am I guilty of public NUS's parenting. 520 00:22:56,354 --> 00:23:00,194 Speaker 1: He was there first, but I know what a people 521 00:23:00,234 --> 00:23:03,114 Speaker 1: pleaser you are, so I want to say massive points 522 00:23:03,354 --> 00:23:06,394 Speaker 1: for standing up for yourself and for your children and 523 00:23:06,434 --> 00:23:08,594 Speaker 1: doing that be Goes. I don't know if I would 524 00:23:08,594 --> 00:23:10,874 Speaker 1: of I feel like I would have gone, I'm so sorry, 525 00:23:10,914 --> 00:23:13,554 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, and like ushered them off to the side. 526 00:23:13,714 --> 00:23:16,474 Speaker 1: But you're right, it is a public space. You have 527 00:23:16,554 --> 00:23:19,793 Speaker 1: to expect the public to be there. But unfortunately for you, 528 00:23:19,914 --> 00:23:23,314 Speaker 1: Mons assholes are also part of the public and he 529 00:23:23,434 --> 00:23:26,754 Speaker 1: was there, Like he can be bothered if he wants. 530 00:23:26,834 --> 00:23:29,273 Speaker 1: It's his space to be in as well. But I 531 00:23:29,354 --> 00:23:33,114 Speaker 1: completely think your kids are justified. Like we have no 532 00:23:33,274 --> 00:23:37,114 Speaker 1: tolerance for anyone anymore being slightly annoying in a space 533 00:23:37,154 --> 00:23:37,714 Speaker 1: that we are. 534 00:23:38,234 --> 00:23:41,474 Speaker 3: Do you agree, Look, I think Mon's is the problem 535 00:23:41,474 --> 00:23:42,794 Speaker 3: with society today. 536 00:23:42,914 --> 00:23:46,234 Speaker 5: Was that the phrase you're what's wrong the problem. It's 537 00:23:46,234 --> 00:23:48,394 Speaker 5: not Steve Bannon, it's Mons. 538 00:23:48,434 --> 00:23:50,914 Speaker 1: Such a monster, such a monster. 539 00:23:51,634 --> 00:23:55,114 Speaker 5: I'm so impressed that you had the composure to bring 540 00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:58,154 Speaker 5: up the term public space. I think that's such a 541 00:23:58,234 --> 00:24:02,194 Speaker 5: profound point you made to him, because you essentially gentle 542 00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:05,194 Speaker 5: parented him. He met you with aggression and then you 543 00:24:05,314 --> 00:24:08,914 Speaker 5: met him with respectful parenting, yeah, and mean until the 544 00:24:09,034 --> 00:24:10,033 Speaker 5: end you got to leave. 545 00:24:09,994 --> 00:24:15,194 Speaker 2: With I had tone in my voice. I had tone. 546 00:24:15,234 --> 00:24:17,754 Speaker 4: I had the tone of like a mum in a 547 00:24:17,754 --> 00:24:20,634 Speaker 4: Bunnings car park where you're like, stay close to me, 548 00:24:20,914 --> 00:24:21,634 Speaker 4: get in the car. 549 00:24:21,874 --> 00:24:22,674 Speaker 2: There's cars everywhere. 550 00:24:22,714 --> 00:24:23,474 Speaker 3: You're in a car park. 551 00:24:23,474 --> 00:24:25,954 Speaker 1: It was that sort of a lot of click action. 552 00:24:27,754 --> 00:24:30,234 Speaker 5: I feel like the thing is that when someone does 553 00:24:30,314 --> 00:24:34,594 Speaker 5: criticize your parenting in public, it brings up the adrenal gland. 554 00:24:34,674 --> 00:24:38,274 Speaker 5: Something really physiological happens, I think, because it must tap 555 00:24:38,314 --> 00:24:41,194 Speaker 5: into a kind of primal You mentioned the mum raider 556 00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:43,874 Speaker 5: and how he was on your radar, Like, that's so true. 557 00:24:43,914 --> 00:24:45,994 Speaker 5: Mom's how you described that when you're out in public 558 00:24:45,994 --> 00:24:50,034 Speaker 5: with your kids, this constant scanning for situations that might 559 00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:53,354 Speaker 5: occur exactly like the one you described there. But I'm 560 00:24:53,394 --> 00:24:57,594 Speaker 5: wondering whether us being in vigorous agreement sort of conflicts 561 00:24:57,594 --> 00:24:59,273 Speaker 5: with what we talked about in the last segment. A 562 00:24:59,314 --> 00:25:01,994 Speaker 5: little bit, I'll explain what I mean. We talked about 563 00:25:02,074 --> 00:25:05,194 Speaker 5: letting the world do your parenting for you. Now, so true, 564 00:25:05,234 --> 00:25:09,234 Speaker 5: this man, I don't like his language, but he was 565 00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:13,394 Speaker 5: doing some parenting for you. Essentially, saying one, there are grumpy, 566 00:25:13,514 --> 00:25:17,034 Speaker 5: unreasonable people in the world. Two, when they are around, 567 00:25:17,114 --> 00:25:19,273 Speaker 5: you have to give them wide berth, fairly or not. 568 00:25:20,074 --> 00:25:21,594 Speaker 5: And three you got to figure out how to de 569 00:25:21,754 --> 00:25:24,714 Speaker 5: escalate with said grumpy people. So you know, I put 570 00:25:24,754 --> 00:25:27,874 Speaker 5: that to the jury. Was he not doing your parenting 571 00:25:27,914 --> 00:25:29,914 Speaker 5: for you in exactly the way we talked about in 572 00:25:29,914 --> 00:25:30,634 Speaker 5: the last segment. 573 00:25:30,914 --> 00:25:34,114 Speaker 4: If he was, and I like this point, but shouldn't 574 00:25:34,114 --> 00:25:36,474 Speaker 4: he have gone after the kids instead of me and 575 00:25:36,554 --> 00:25:38,994 Speaker 4: said to the kids, I'm trying to have a relax here, 576 00:25:39,074 --> 00:25:39,754 Speaker 4: have some respects. 577 00:25:39,834 --> 00:25:42,194 Speaker 5: Let me ask you how you would have responded to that, 578 00:25:42,394 --> 00:25:45,194 Speaker 5: assumeing he didn't use the F word and he said 579 00:25:45,194 --> 00:25:47,114 Speaker 5: to them exactly what you said, I'm trying to have 580 00:25:47,154 --> 00:25:48,994 Speaker 5: some space here, What would you have done? 581 00:25:50,114 --> 00:25:50,793 Speaker 2: Good question. 582 00:25:51,354 --> 00:25:54,194 Speaker 4: I probably would have said, fair ball, like fair gang, 583 00:25:54,394 --> 00:25:57,074 Speaker 4: I agree, like go and run around somewhere else. 584 00:25:57,154 --> 00:25:57,434 Speaker 1: Kids. 585 00:25:57,834 --> 00:25:59,634 Speaker 5: Is it possible for you do you think in that 586 00:25:59,754 --> 00:26:03,074 Speaker 5: situation to set aside that sort of physiological response we 587 00:26:03,154 --> 00:26:04,914 Speaker 5: talked about and not interrationally. 588 00:26:04,954 --> 00:26:05,634 Speaker 3: I don't think so. 589 00:26:05,914 --> 00:26:07,514 Speaker 2: No, it's not right. 590 00:26:07,594 --> 00:26:09,994 Speaker 4: Like my heart was pounding when I was doing this, 591 00:26:10,034 --> 00:26:12,754 Speaker 4: and I was all like around horned up when he 592 00:26:12,834 --> 00:26:14,594 Speaker 4: was like screaming in my face. 593 00:26:14,354 --> 00:26:16,714 Speaker 1: And you're so right, Like if you saw someone say that, 594 00:26:16,754 --> 00:26:18,994 Speaker 1: like as much as you go, he shouldn't have approached me. 595 00:26:19,434 --> 00:26:21,434 Speaker 1: If you'd seen him speak to your kids, you would 596 00:26:21,434 --> 00:26:23,714 Speaker 1: have felt the same thing and gone, don't speak to 597 00:26:23,754 --> 00:26:24,674 Speaker 1: my kids that way. 598 00:26:24,994 --> 00:26:25,834 Speaker 3: Would you have done? 599 00:26:25,874 --> 00:26:27,954 Speaker 5: Like if he was fully polite about it and was 600 00:26:28,034 --> 00:26:30,234 Speaker 5: just like kids, I'm just trying to have a moment here. 601 00:26:30,274 --> 00:26:32,554 Speaker 3: Have had a really busy, stressful day. Can you please 602 00:26:32,554 --> 00:26:32,914 Speaker 3: go and. 603 00:26:32,794 --> 00:26:35,794 Speaker 5: Play over there? Yeah, I guess that's fine, but it's 604 00:26:35,834 --> 00:26:38,434 Speaker 5: really hard for us to like override. 605 00:26:37,914 --> 00:26:40,714 Speaker 1: That stress there is that, isn't it that I think 606 00:26:40,754 --> 00:26:42,513 Speaker 1: this used to happen more. Don't you feel like that 607 00:26:42,714 --> 00:26:45,554 Speaker 1: was more of a thing where the community parented. Kids 608 00:26:46,314 --> 00:26:48,314 Speaker 1: would not be unusual to be out and someone say 609 00:26:48,394 --> 00:26:50,034 Speaker 1: keep it down or get down off there. 610 00:26:50,194 --> 00:26:51,874 Speaker 3: That would happen to me at the Supermarke. I'd be 611 00:26:51,954 --> 00:26:52,354 Speaker 3: running my. 612 00:26:52,394 --> 00:26:55,154 Speaker 5: Mum's trolley around the place, and I remember people used 613 00:26:55,194 --> 00:26:57,394 Speaker 5: to tell me off. My mom didn't say anything to them. 614 00:26:57,514 --> 00:27:00,313 Speaker 5: I was suitably chided, like, maybe it's just something we've 615 00:27:00,354 --> 00:27:01,474 Speaker 5: got to deal with a bit more. 616 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:04,354 Speaker 4: We actually don't like I think now that you're playing 617 00:27:04,354 --> 00:27:04,994 Speaker 4: it out like that. 618 00:27:05,594 --> 00:27:06,834 Speaker 2: If someone said something. 619 00:27:06,674 --> 00:27:09,914 Speaker 4: To my kids, I think I'd be feel really defensive. Yeah, 620 00:27:09,914 --> 00:27:12,594 Speaker 4: and like get out of it. Have you ever told 621 00:27:12,634 --> 00:27:15,434 Speaker 4: a child not to do something? You just don't you 622 00:27:15,514 --> 00:27:16,634 Speaker 4: leave it up to the parent now? 623 00:27:16,874 --> 00:27:20,513 Speaker 1: No, And I think people are afraid in so many situations, 624 00:27:20,594 --> 00:27:23,634 Speaker 1: like my mum had my daughter and she ran off 625 00:27:23,754 --> 00:27:26,794 Speaker 1: in a public space down a road towards where cars 626 00:27:26,794 --> 00:27:29,554 Speaker 1: were coming and multiple people were coming the other way, 627 00:27:29,554 --> 00:27:31,874 Speaker 1: and no one even stuck their arm out. I think 628 00:27:31,954 --> 00:27:35,073 Speaker 1: it's like people are really scared to parent other people's 629 00:27:35,154 --> 00:27:37,194 Speaker 1: kids for them now, whereas you used to kind of 630 00:27:37,194 --> 00:27:39,234 Speaker 1: be able to do that and keep them in line. 631 00:27:39,394 --> 00:27:41,834 Speaker 1: But maybe we should, like maybe it should be a 632 00:27:41,834 --> 00:27:43,273 Speaker 1: bit more of a community effort. 633 00:27:43,434 --> 00:27:46,714 Speaker 5: Again, as long as they're addressing the children in a sort. 634 00:27:46,594 --> 00:27:48,554 Speaker 1: Of respectful yeah, polite. 635 00:27:48,554 --> 00:27:50,954 Speaker 5: Wait. I don't think this man was in the headspace 636 00:27:51,034 --> 00:27:54,593 Speaker 5: to parent appropriately, let alone gently. But I wonder if 637 00:27:54,634 --> 00:27:57,914 Speaker 5: we do need to let people parent are children a 638 00:27:57,914 --> 00:27:58,314 Speaker 5: bit more. 639 00:27:58,394 --> 00:28:02,554 Speaker 1: Yeah. In conclusion, Mons, you have been found not guilty. 640 00:28:02,994 --> 00:28:06,914 Speaker 1: You are free to go. No parole asshole not the asshole, 641 00:28:07,314 --> 00:28:07,914 Speaker 1: definitely will. 642 00:28:08,034 --> 00:28:10,234 Speaker 5: I do want to make this a semi regular thing. 643 00:28:10,474 --> 00:28:13,914 Speaker 5: Maybe listeners have some mivsholes that they want to share 644 00:28:13,954 --> 00:28:16,554 Speaker 5: with us, and we will act as dury for them. 645 00:28:16,594 --> 00:28:19,634 Speaker 5: As you can see where it hugely qualified and very fair. 646 00:28:20,314 --> 00:28:24,273 Speaker 4: Yes, yes, DM the instagram which is at Parenting out Loud. 647 00:28:24,754 --> 00:28:26,513 Speaker 4: Let's hit up the things getting us through the week 648 00:28:27,074 --> 00:28:29,714 Speaker 4: and bring you our recommendations. These are kind of like 649 00:28:29,794 --> 00:28:33,514 Speaker 4: products we would marry if we could, or the wholesome 650 00:28:33,914 --> 00:28:36,714 Speaker 4: random craft things that Amelia finds. Will it be painted 651 00:28:36,874 --> 00:28:39,554 Speaker 4: rocks this week? Will it be the reject shop? Who knows? 652 00:28:39,594 --> 00:28:40,874 Speaker 4: What have you got, Amelia? 653 00:28:40,914 --> 00:28:43,434 Speaker 5: So I've actually got something a bit related to what 654 00:28:43,474 --> 00:28:45,914 Speaker 5: you were talking about before. Remember when you said that 655 00:28:46,434 --> 00:28:49,034 Speaker 5: part of this sort of parenting less strategy is to 656 00:28:49,034 --> 00:28:50,634 Speaker 5: hand your kids a calendar. 657 00:28:50,514 --> 00:28:52,754 Speaker 2: Yeah, an independence activity calendar here. 658 00:28:52,834 --> 00:28:53,034 Speaker 3: Yeah. 659 00:28:53,154 --> 00:28:56,554 Speaker 5: My wreck for the week, completely independent of that, was 660 00:28:56,594 --> 00:28:59,034 Speaker 5: to keep the free calendar that the chemist gives you 661 00:28:59,074 --> 00:29:00,034 Speaker 5: at the start of the year. 662 00:29:00,274 --> 00:29:01,354 Speaker 3: And I'm going to explain why. 663 00:29:01,394 --> 00:29:03,714 Speaker 5: But you know that calendar, Yeah, yeah, it's usually got 664 00:29:03,714 --> 00:29:06,234 Speaker 5: a picture of a bird, yes, you know, like a 665 00:29:06,234 --> 00:29:09,794 Speaker 5: bird or maybe like a cold and flu medication. They 666 00:29:09,794 --> 00:29:12,634 Speaker 5: give them out at the pharmacy and you generally put 667 00:29:12,634 --> 00:29:14,354 Speaker 5: it in the recycling. Well, I'm here to tell you 668 00:29:14,354 --> 00:29:15,994 Speaker 5: you got to keep it, and you've got to collect 669 00:29:16,034 --> 00:29:17,834 Speaker 5: a couple. If you've got a couple of kids, give 670 00:29:17,914 --> 00:29:21,194 Speaker 5: one to each child. And what I want you to 671 00:29:21,234 --> 00:29:24,394 Speaker 5: do with it is during school holidays or at ahead 672 00:29:24,434 --> 00:29:26,634 Speaker 5: of any school holidays, sit down with the kids much 673 00:29:26,634 --> 00:29:30,234 Speaker 5: as months was describing before, and have them illustrate or 674 00:29:30,274 --> 00:29:32,914 Speaker 5: write each day what the plan is. And the reason 675 00:29:32,954 --> 00:29:35,834 Speaker 5: I do this with my kids is because apparently boys 676 00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:38,474 Speaker 5: in particular really need a plan. I mean, I think 677 00:29:38,514 --> 00:29:41,034 Speaker 5: we all love a plan, but apparently boys really need 678 00:29:41,074 --> 00:29:44,314 Speaker 5: to know what's happening next. And anecdotally I do notice 679 00:29:44,394 --> 00:29:46,514 Speaker 5: that boys are more likely to be like, well, what 680 00:29:46,514 --> 00:29:48,714 Speaker 5: are we doing after this? What are we doing after that? 681 00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:51,194 Speaker 5: So it gives them a sense of like I can 682 00:29:51,234 --> 00:29:53,994 Speaker 5: see their shoulders like sort of fall down a little 683 00:29:53,994 --> 00:29:57,514 Speaker 5: bit from their ears unshrugged. Because the peace of knowing 684 00:29:57,834 --> 00:30:00,954 Speaker 5: in that disruptive, hurly burly world of school holidays, what's 685 00:30:00,954 --> 00:30:04,474 Speaker 5: happening every day, it can be really powerful for them 686 00:30:04,674 --> 00:30:07,354 Speaker 5: in knowing what to expect. So basically, use the free 687 00:30:07,354 --> 00:30:08,754 Speaker 5: calendar every school holidays. 688 00:30:08,754 --> 00:30:09,754 Speaker 1: That's me clever? 689 00:30:10,634 --> 00:30:13,754 Speaker 4: How tiny are your kids writing in these calendar squares? 690 00:30:13,794 --> 00:30:18,394 Speaker 4: Because my kid's handwriting is like font size nine hundred. 691 00:30:18,634 --> 00:30:21,034 Speaker 5: I do think it works best with a biro, Like 692 00:30:21,194 --> 00:30:23,874 Speaker 5: don't go in with the crayons or the texters. 693 00:30:23,474 --> 00:30:25,954 Speaker 1: And we're not doing like our by hour activity. It's 694 00:30:25,994 --> 00:30:30,754 Speaker 1: more overarching. Five more day tananas. Yeah yeah, yeah, love it. 695 00:30:31,034 --> 00:30:32,714 Speaker 3: Run your what's your stacey? 696 00:30:33,314 --> 00:30:37,954 Speaker 1: Mine this week is a piece of jewelry, So treat yourself. 697 00:30:37,954 --> 00:30:39,354 Speaker 1: This is what I'm telling you to do for the 698 00:30:39,354 --> 00:30:41,474 Speaker 1: start of the year. I have never had as many 699 00:30:41,514 --> 00:30:44,194 Speaker 1: compliments as when I wear this necklace which I'm wearing today. 700 00:30:44,354 --> 00:30:45,474 Speaker 3: I love that necklace. 701 00:30:45,514 --> 00:30:48,234 Speaker 1: It's a charm necklace. So my recommendation is to get 702 00:30:48,234 --> 00:30:51,314 Speaker 1: a chunky charm necklace. It doesn't matter where you choose 703 00:30:51,354 --> 00:30:53,954 Speaker 1: to get this from. Mine. One's from a place called 704 00:30:53,994 --> 00:30:56,354 Speaker 1: Gimme Store, so she's like an Aussie lady startup and 705 00:30:56,434 --> 00:30:59,554 Speaker 1: stuff is really cool. It's like between eighty two, one 706 00:30:59,634 --> 00:31:02,514 Speaker 1: hundred and twenty dollars. I think we're talking so nice 707 00:31:02,594 --> 00:31:04,874 Speaker 1: quality jewelry, like you'll have it for a long time, 708 00:31:04,874 --> 00:31:07,034 Speaker 1: but we're not talking crazy heirlooms. 709 00:31:06,634 --> 00:31:08,674 Speaker 3: And can we run through the charms. There is a 710 00:31:08,874 --> 00:31:09,914 Speaker 3: chili pepper. 711 00:31:09,754 --> 00:31:13,994 Speaker 1: Chili pepper. There's a cowboy boot, there's a little stone 712 00:31:14,034 --> 00:31:14,314 Speaker 1: and a. 713 00:31:14,274 --> 00:31:16,314 Speaker 3: Star is the stone in your birthstone? 714 00:31:16,434 --> 00:31:19,074 Speaker 1: No, nothing to do with me. It's just for vibes. 715 00:31:19,314 --> 00:31:22,794 Speaker 2: Is it like the Pandora bracelet for millennials? 716 00:31:22,874 --> 00:31:26,034 Speaker 1: Kind of yes, it is like a cooler version of that. 717 00:31:26,194 --> 00:31:28,194 Speaker 2: Yeah, you choose the charms that go on there. 718 00:31:28,234 --> 00:31:30,074 Speaker 1: No, you don't choose them. They're already pre made. You 719 00:31:30,114 --> 00:31:33,474 Speaker 1: don't even have to think about story. They're just there 720 00:31:33,554 --> 00:31:36,154 Speaker 1: selected the sets. Well, there you can go and get 721 00:31:36,154 --> 00:31:38,194 Speaker 1: one of those. I don't have time for that. I 722 00:31:38,234 --> 00:31:40,914 Speaker 1: want someone to just tell me my personality. So that's 723 00:31:40,914 --> 00:31:43,994 Speaker 1: what this necklace is. But why I think they're great. 724 00:31:44,194 --> 00:31:46,154 Speaker 1: And I've got another one for my birthday as well 725 00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:50,234 Speaker 1: that I love. That's all just mixed like summery little shells. 726 00:31:50,274 --> 00:31:53,394 Speaker 1: It looks kind of greasihan. I think it's good because 727 00:31:53,594 --> 00:31:55,634 Speaker 1: you don't you just don't know what to wear, and 728 00:31:55,674 --> 00:31:57,674 Speaker 1: you just wear the same thing every or at least 729 00:31:57,674 --> 00:31:59,034 Speaker 1: I do. I feel like I just wear the same 730 00:31:59,074 --> 00:32:01,514 Speaker 1: three things. If I put this on for some reason, 731 00:32:01,554 --> 00:32:01,874 Speaker 1: it just. 732 00:32:01,874 --> 00:32:05,034 Speaker 5: Pulls everything and you're doing that thing that I've always 733 00:32:05,154 --> 00:32:08,914 Speaker 5: envied where people pull off the la necklace, stacking them 734 00:32:08,994 --> 00:32:11,754 Speaker 5: stacking necklaces that's what I'm going to do in twenty 735 00:32:11,794 --> 00:32:13,354 Speaker 5: twenty six. I'm gonna stack next. 736 00:32:13,474 --> 00:32:15,754 Speaker 1: Yes, so just get a chunky necklace, I promise. I 737 00:32:15,754 --> 00:32:17,794 Speaker 1: don't know why You'll get so many compliments and you 738 00:32:17,914 --> 00:32:20,234 Speaker 1: look like you made effort when you did not make effort. 739 00:32:20,314 --> 00:32:21,994 Speaker 1: I thought you really liked spicy food. 740 00:32:22,074 --> 00:32:22,714 Speaker 3: But that's. 741 00:32:24,714 --> 00:32:27,194 Speaker 2: I was like, is it a Taylor Swift cowboy reference? 742 00:32:27,234 --> 00:32:28,394 Speaker 2: I don't know, or Beyonce. 743 00:32:29,274 --> 00:32:31,514 Speaker 1: No. I do love a bit of country music, though 744 00:32:31,594 --> 00:32:34,314 Speaker 1: kind of against my will. My husband's convinced me to 745 00:32:34,434 --> 00:32:37,114 Speaker 1: like country music now, so maybe that's for him. Get 746 00:32:37,114 --> 00:32:40,234 Speaker 1: a chunky necklace. Gimme store have great ones? G I 747 00:32:40,514 --> 00:32:41,594 Speaker 1: mm so good. 748 00:32:41,874 --> 00:32:44,274 Speaker 2: I'm just looking at them. Can I say something mean? 749 00:32:46,314 --> 00:32:50,434 Speaker 4: I just feel like this is gonna date really badly, 750 00:32:51,034 --> 00:32:53,674 Speaker 4: Like it's gonna look good for this summer, and then 751 00:32:53,754 --> 00:32:56,354 Speaker 4: in five years time, you're going to be doing an 752 00:32:56,354 --> 00:32:57,874 Speaker 4: Instagram story about look at the. 753 00:32:57,874 --> 00:33:01,354 Speaker 2: Dumb necklace I wore in twenty and twenty six. 754 00:33:02,154 --> 00:33:06,594 Speaker 4: Like you did, Like you know, this is how you 755 00:33:06,674 --> 00:33:07,594 Speaker 4: end up play sports. 756 00:33:07,634 --> 00:33:09,794 Speaker 3: Sorry, you are actually ruthless. 757 00:33:09,874 --> 00:33:11,754 Speaker 1: Yeah, you are so ruthless. 758 00:33:12,394 --> 00:33:12,634 Speaker 3: Love it. 759 00:33:13,354 --> 00:33:15,474 Speaker 1: Tell them to all the people that have complimented me. 760 00:33:16,394 --> 00:33:19,514 Speaker 1: You stick with your boring necklaces. Okay, mine's fun. 761 00:33:19,714 --> 00:33:26,594 Speaker 4: Okay, my recommendation. Sorry, I'm stuck on this fucking ugly neckplace. Sorry, Stacey, 762 00:33:26,714 --> 00:33:27,074 Speaker 4: it's so. 763 00:33:27,234 --> 00:33:32,434 Speaker 6: Ugly that Mons did tell me at the beginning of 764 00:33:32,474 --> 00:33:34,114 Speaker 6: this I really need to go on and make up. 765 00:33:34,754 --> 00:33:37,514 Speaker 6: So I think we've both been treated to her attack today. 766 00:33:37,754 --> 00:33:38,034 Speaker 6: I don't. 767 00:33:38,834 --> 00:33:41,274 Speaker 1: I've never had as many compliments on it, that's true. 768 00:33:41,354 --> 00:33:42,514 Speaker 2: Are you changing your mind? 769 00:33:42,594 --> 00:33:42,914 Speaker 1: Am I? 770 00:33:43,034 --> 00:33:44,114 Speaker 2: In fact of the asshole? 771 00:33:44,274 --> 00:33:44,594 Speaker 4: I am? 772 00:33:45,594 --> 00:33:47,234 Speaker 2: I am? Okay. 773 00:33:47,514 --> 00:33:49,794 Speaker 4: My recommendation is also something you can buy. Who has 774 00:33:49,834 --> 00:33:50,914 Speaker 4: time to wash their hair? 775 00:33:51,354 --> 00:33:53,914 Speaker 1: Not me. That's one of my shrugs as well. Mons, 776 00:33:53,954 --> 00:33:55,074 Speaker 1: when not washing hair. 777 00:33:55,554 --> 00:33:56,114 Speaker 2: Every time I. 778 00:33:56,114 --> 00:33:58,394 Speaker 4: Use dry shampoo, and I've tried them all, they always 779 00:33:58,474 --> 00:34:01,874 Speaker 4: just my hair just looks dirty with dry shampoo in it. Yeah, 780 00:34:02,034 --> 00:34:07,434 Speaker 4: it just makes feel powdery and chalky. Enter Ka teen 781 00:34:08,074 --> 00:34:12,834 Speaker 4: air wash dry shampoo. I don't know what black magic 782 00:34:12,873 --> 00:34:14,193 Speaker 4: fuckery this company is doing. 783 00:34:14,354 --> 00:34:16,194 Speaker 2: This is the same company that makes. 784 00:34:15,954 --> 00:34:18,033 Speaker 4: This sort of hair mask that has like a cult 785 00:34:18,074 --> 00:34:19,553 Speaker 4: following that repairs your hair. 786 00:34:19,794 --> 00:34:21,474 Speaker 5: The great thing about the hair mask is that you 787 00:34:21,514 --> 00:34:23,873 Speaker 5: don't need to wash it out, yes, which is great 788 00:34:23,874 --> 00:34:26,474 Speaker 5: for masters because I hate standing in the shower naked. 789 00:34:26,714 --> 00:34:26,953 Speaker 1: Yeah. 790 00:34:27,554 --> 00:34:31,873 Speaker 4: This kaighteen air wash dry shampoo not sponsored content. I 791 00:34:31,954 --> 00:34:34,794 Speaker 4: bought this off my own back. It's just a spray. 792 00:34:34,874 --> 00:34:38,114 Speaker 4: It's not a powder. It's just like a spray and 793 00:34:38,154 --> 00:34:40,874 Speaker 4: you only need one spray. It says on the bottle 794 00:34:40,994 --> 00:34:43,954 Speaker 4: like less is more like do not use too much 795 00:34:44,034 --> 00:34:46,954 Speaker 4: and your hair just completely resets and it looks like it's. 796 00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:49,354 Speaker 2: Just been washed. It's amazing. 797 00:34:49,914 --> 00:34:50,474 Speaker 1: Now great. 798 00:34:51,434 --> 00:34:54,234 Speaker 4: The bad news is it's expensive. So it was forty 799 00:34:54,274 --> 00:34:57,314 Speaker 4: four dollars for this little bottle. But guys, time is 800 00:34:57,314 --> 00:34:59,234 Speaker 4: money and you're saving time by not washing your hair. 801 00:35:00,314 --> 00:35:01,434 Speaker 1: Love it. 802 00:35:01,634 --> 00:35:03,754 Speaker 3: I've got to say, I didn't want it to be 803 00:35:03,834 --> 00:35:05,234 Speaker 3: a good wreck, but it is not. 804 00:35:05,634 --> 00:35:06,913 Speaker 1: It is. Yeah, love it. 805 00:35:07,474 --> 00:35:11,234 Speaker 2: I don't deserve your compliments. I'm awful. That's all we 806 00:35:11,274 --> 00:35:12,953 Speaker 2: have time for. But thanks for listening this far. 807 00:35:13,194 --> 00:35:15,194 Speaker 4: And if you followed this show in the last week, 808 00:35:15,274 --> 00:35:18,674 Speaker 4: like if you have actually pushed follow on your podcast. 809 00:35:18,194 --> 00:35:21,074 Speaker 2: App, thank you, thank you so so much for doing that. 810 00:35:21,434 --> 00:35:24,194 Speaker 4: Now, if you know someone who also believes that kids 811 00:35:24,234 --> 00:35:24,714 Speaker 4: should be in. 812 00:35:24,634 --> 00:35:26,993 Speaker 2: Public places, who loves. 813 00:35:26,714 --> 00:35:32,234 Speaker 4: A big, chunky necklace, and who likes to have fights 814 00:35:32,274 --> 00:35:35,154 Speaker 4: with boomers in parks, send them this show. 815 00:35:35,474 --> 00:35:37,634 Speaker 2: And tell them come and join and be part of 816 00:35:37,634 --> 00:35:40,154 Speaker 2: our tribe. Okay, that's how we grow this little podcast pocket. 817 00:35:40,154 --> 00:35:42,234 Speaker 5: But don't send it to a boomer because they need 818 00:35:42,274 --> 00:35:43,154 Speaker 5: to get off their phone. 819 00:35:43,274 --> 00:35:44,553 Speaker 1: Yeah, they're on there too much. 820 00:35:44,794 --> 00:35:46,674 Speaker 3: Send it to them so true. 821 00:35:47,114 --> 00:35:49,834 Speaker 2: Good luck this week with parenting less. Okay, that's the 822 00:35:49,834 --> 00:35:50,554 Speaker 2: big challenge. 823 00:35:50,714 --> 00:35:55,194 Speaker 4: Just do less click shrug, clickles, quick less, careless, quick. 824 00:35:55,074 --> 00:35:58,674 Speaker 1: Less shrug shrug it are click less, shrug more. That's it. 825 00:35:58,874 --> 00:36:01,674 Speaker 4: A big thanks to our team, Junior content producer Tessa Kotovich, 826 00:36:01,754 --> 00:36:05,674 Speaker 4: Senior producer Lee Porgus, and Executive producer Sashtanic, the group 827 00:36:05,714 --> 00:36:08,834 Speaker 4: ep Is, Ruth Devine, have a great week. Stacy and 828 00:36:08,874 --> 00:36:10,914 Speaker 4: Amelia and all of you out there. Will be back 829 00:36:11,034 --> 00:36:14,314 Speaker 4: next Saturday morning. Bye bye. 830 00:36:17,274 --> 00:36:19,913 Speaker 2: MoMA MEA acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on 831 00:36:19,954 --> 00:36:21,554 Speaker 2: which we have recorded this podcast.