Speaker 1: You actually sound fine. Every time you like I feel
Speaker 1: a bit horse, I'm like, no, you say it good?
Speaker 1: A bit horse?
Speaker 2: Do you know that he's an aid?
Speaker 1: Don't Halan My partner, my boyfriend Torbes, we've been together
Speaker 1: flat almost ten years. Like whenever I'm like having a
Speaker 1: MENTI bee about something or ranting and raving about something
Speaker 1: that happened at the shops or at work. Whatever he says,
Speaker 1: are we feelings or solutions based right now?
Speaker 2: Welcome to the seas the Yay Podcast. Busy and happy
Speaker 2: are not the same thing. We too rarely question what
Speaker 2: makes the heart seeing. We work, then we rest, but
Speaker 2: rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than
Speaker 2: one way. So this is a platform to hear and
Speaker 2: explore the stories of those who found lives they adore, the.
Speaker 1: Good, bad and ugly.
Speaker 2: The best and worst day will bear all the facets
Speaker 2: of seizing your yay. I'm Sarah Davidson or a spoonful
Speaker 2: of Sarah, a lawyer turned funentrepreneurshos walked the Suits and
Speaker 2: Heels to about matcha Maiden and matcha Milk Bar. Cca
Speaker 2: is a series of conversations on finding a life you
Speaker 2: love and exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment
Speaker 2: along the way. We are back from our little break
Speaker 2: with an absolute bang and a guest I've wanted to
Speaker 2: chat with for such a long time, and hopefully a
Speaker 2: guest you guys have wanted to hear from for a
Speaker 2: long time. Thank you so much for your patients while
Speaker 2: we all adventured around the world. By the way, I
Speaker 2: hope you enjoyed our re releases to keep you going.
Speaker 2: There were actually quite a few of you who hadn't
Speaker 2: heard those episodes, so I hope you guys enjoyed them,
Speaker 2: and I know you will enjoy this week's guest even more.
Speaker 2: I'm talking, of course, about the woman, the legend, Tony Lodge,
Speaker 2: who you have probably already heard from on her own
Speaker 2: amazing show, The Tony and Ryan Podcast, otherwise known as TARP,
Speaker 2: one of Australia's top performing shows, and for very good reason,
Speaker 2: they are absolutely hilarious. Tony has also just released her
Speaker 2: first brilliant book, I Don't Need Therapy and Other Lies
Speaker 2: I've told myself, for which I was so honored to
Speaker 2: give a cover quote after absolutely eating up my advanced
Speaker 2: copy a couple of months ago. Of course it is
Speaker 2: now actually out in the open, and I cannot recommend
Speaker 2: it highly enough. The link to buy your copy is,
Speaker 2: of course in the show notes for you. I won't
Speaker 2: reveal too much because we cover so much in this chat,
Speaker 2: and I just adored getting to know this amazing woman better.
Speaker 2: We had this beautiful online relationship going on, but I
Speaker 2: feel like we're now real life best friends. Tony is
Speaker 2: one of those amazing examples of someone who you could
Speaker 2: easily assume was born into the position she's in now
Speaker 2: because she's just so perfectly suited to it, and as
Speaker 2: you'll hear in the book, since she was a child,
Speaker 2: she believed she was going to be famous, but that's
Speaker 2: definitely not how it started for her. And I loved
Speaker 2: exploring all of the juicy stuff in between. You'll be
Speaker 2: able to tell immediately how much fun we had during
Speaker 2: this one. I haven't laughed so hard in such a
Speaker 2: long time. I hope it's as much of a joy
Speaker 2: to your ears as it was to mine the first
Speaker 2: time around.
Speaker 1: All leave that life going to be introducing Tony Lunch.
Speaker 1: I think people heard that laughing went oh, I heard
Speaker 1: that it's had a horrible laugh.
Speaker 2: That signature iconic laugh Tony. Welcome to Seize the A.
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited, and.
Speaker 2: So we've been already talking for like twenty minutes, literally
Speaker 2: naked on a couch pretty much. We are just getting
Speaker 2: real close and personal, and I.
Speaker 1: Was going to oil you up shortly as well.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately it's ready to clean up.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, as it is audio only, you can't see the proof,
Speaker 1: so you don't know whether we did or actually didn't
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 2: It's already bringing me so much joy. We've been trying
Speaker 2: to make this happen for so long. Yeah, and I'm
Speaker 2: so glad we made it. So I'm like a man,
Speaker 2: I'm really sorry, but I was not waiting another day.
Speaker 1: You actually sound fine. Every time you like I feel
Speaker 1: a bit horse, I'm like, no, you say good, a
Speaker 1: bit horse?
Speaker 2: Do you know that's an aid?
Speaker 1: Don't lunch Sarah Davidson.
Speaker 2: I do call us the Davidson's. But at the moment,
Speaker 2: oh my god, you're too good.
Speaker 1: You're too good.
Speaker 2: I've actually been really so excited but also stressed because
Speaker 2: I have so much materials that I want to cover,
Speaker 2: and sometimes when I've read someone's book, obviously you have
Speaker 2: a brand new book which we were so excited about.
Speaker 2: I don't need therapy, which is right here for people
Speaker 2: who are looking at the video, we're going to cover it,
Speaker 2: of course. But sometimes when I've read the book, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: how do I do this episode without just reading the
Speaker 2: whole book?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'm going to.
Speaker 2: Tell you everything about Tony or.
Speaker 1: Being like, oh, of course thought about this, and like you.
Speaker 2: Said, you read the book, so you know.
Speaker 1: And I feel like every time I talk to someone,
Speaker 1: I'm like, do you already? Did you? Do you know that?
Speaker 2: And did you read it?
Speaker 1: And because when your book came out, but it was
Speaker 1: exactly the same, you can tell who's read it and
Speaker 1: who hasn't. For people who haven't read it, I'm not
Speaker 1: including you, yeah, yeah, because you obviously I haven't read it,
Speaker 1: Like you took the cellophane from the PR package of
Speaker 1: Fairly Not even that's.
Speaker 2: On the back you can see, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Well we will get there.
Speaker 2: But for those who listen to the show, I always
Speaker 2: start by asking everyone what the most down to her
Speaker 2: thing is about them as a bit of an icebreaker,
Speaker 2: because you are actually very very famous, and I've had
Speaker 2: not at least at least ten people who know us
Speaker 2: separately who have said to say hello to you today.
Speaker 3: Who is so excited Racar a message me this morning.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it was so excited last night my
Speaker 2: hairdresser who just did my hair. Yes, she's a superman.
Speaker 2: And I said, oh, I'll tell her and she said, no,
Speaker 2: she's I've already told her that. Yeah.
Speaker 4: So one of the girls who used to work for
Speaker 4: her was like, oh, my new boss like yeah, and
Speaker 4: I was like, so I sent her a video because
Speaker 4: I was like, you know, maybe you'll.
Speaker 1: Get a pay rise or something like if you tell
Speaker 1: your new yeah, you know, like, oh my new boss,
Speaker 1: like just as like subtle flakes, I know this person
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, you're the Yes.
Speaker 2: Well, since you are actually quite famous now, I usually
Speaker 2: start with a bit of an icebreaker, but I feel
Speaker 2: like since your most recent video was about how far
Speaker 2: up your butthole you use soap, and one of my
Speaker 2: favorite chapters, the second last chapter of your book is
Speaker 2: about you shitting in the street, which I closely resonate
Speaker 2: with because I've had many a nearly shit in the
Speaker 2: street store.
Speaker 1: I think everybody does and everyone has not People don't
Speaker 1: speak about this they don't. And because everybody that's been like, oh,
Speaker 1: read the last chapter in your book. God, hasn't that
Speaker 1: happened to everyone?
Speaker 3: I'm like, yes, turns out it has. Yes, turns out
Speaker 3: it has.
Speaker 1: It's an equalizer, it is, it's a great leveler of people.
Speaker 2: I mean, I got to the point I knew it
Speaker 2: was serious when it was no longer am I going
Speaker 2: to ship my pants? But it was do I shit
Speaker 2: in the leggings or outside of the leggings?
Speaker 1: Like is easier?
Speaker 2: So you didn't actually do it because of Saint John's
Speaker 2: ambulance guy walked back at that at the like the
Speaker 2: pivotal like I decided I was going to do it
Speaker 2: outside of the leggings, but behind the forklift was I'll
Speaker 2: show me there a very another day. But it was
Speaker 2: concrete in concrete, no bushes, no like mid Metropolitan Melbourne
Speaker 2: post a running event, only concrete.
Speaker 1: There's low stories. Just do you know how many people
Speaker 1: have shipped themselves at the ten?
Speaker 2: Like it was around the ten and the portal. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was a whole thing.
Speaker 1: I get it. But once you've crossed over into is
Speaker 1: it like it's not if it's it's like when it's
Speaker 1: is gonna happen where?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what logistically is going to be easy to
Speaker 2: clean up? Yeah, that's when I was like, I knew.
Speaker 1: Ye, this is business is business time.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I'm digressing so much so because you're already so
Speaker 2: in all the content, and I mean all of Australia
Speaker 2: already follows you and loves you, so most people know
Speaker 2: what's so down to earth about you. I thought we'd
Speaker 2: do like a bit of a different a start with
Speaker 2: some fast fires.
Speaker 1: Oh love that that.
Speaker 2: Are just kind of fun. And I'm not very good
Speaker 2: at fast fires because I like give a really long
Speaker 2: me to answer, like okay, chapter one is my answer,
Speaker 2: And I thought that would be a little bit more
Speaker 2: fun different. So it's very easy to self deprecate, and
Speaker 2: I think that makes people really relatable and I love
Speaker 2: self deprecation. I think it's like a beautiful form of humor.
Speaker 2: But also it just comes so easily. But it's much
Speaker 2: harder to say what you love about yourself. So my
Speaker 2: first question to you, because I knew making you self
Speaker 2: deprecate would not make you uncomfortable, no, but making you
Speaker 2: say something you love about yourself would. So what's something
Speaker 2: you love about yourself.
Speaker 1: That's really tough.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't give any notice, but I did.
Speaker 1: Wow. No, that's okay, live brainstorm or something on something
Speaker 1: mind map. Something I love about myself. I really love
Speaker 1: that I don't get complacent easily. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: always like when I and this actually might not be
Speaker 1: a good thing about myself, But I feel like as
Speaker 1: soon as I kind of get comfortable, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: how can I switch things up? Or how can I
Speaker 1: I think I really like that about myself that I
Speaker 1: am constantly But also maybe that's not a good thing.
Speaker 1: That's a good thing.
Speaker 3: I think it can.
Speaker 2: Anything can be a bad thing if you overdo it. True,
Speaker 2: but it's a good trait that you never just sit
Speaker 2: in your Like this show is all about step out
Speaker 2: of the comfort zone if you do the what is
Speaker 2: it if you always do the same thing you've always done,
Speaker 2: and you'll always get the same results you've always got.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to get something you've never get gotten, you have
Speaker 1: to do something you've never done that thing. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that about myself every day that we did
Speaker 1: the opposite one. I like to resay it. You'd already
Speaker 1: said it, I'd already not said it, yeah, and then
Speaker 1: I didn't. You didn't say it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, amazing.
Speaker 1: But I think I've probably learned that in only the
Speaker 1: last couple of years, because I think I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five, I'm like in this job where I'll
Speaker 1: probably be here forever. And then I was like okay,
Speaker 1: and I was like that's life, Like that's it, like
Speaker 1: this is where this is what I'll do until I retire.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, okay, we hun't do that.
Speaker 1: And and since then, I've like forced myself out of
Speaker 1: my comfort zone so much and now it's something I
Speaker 1: love about myself that I did it, even though I
Speaker 1: was like, I could have very easily stayed comfy, and
Speaker 1: then I didn't do that. But your background's kind of similar, though,
Speaker 1: because you like had this like boogie, high powered, cushy ship,
Speaker 1: you know, like yeah, not easy, but.
Speaker 3: Like solid familiar as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and you could have written that for decades.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But also when people like ask you what you
Speaker 1: do for work and you say something like lawyer or
Speaker 1: something like work at the radio station or whatever, people
Speaker 1: like know what that is. And then when you try
Speaker 1: and explain being a podcaster or you.
Speaker 2: Know, anything, creator.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like people are like, so you know, and that's
Speaker 1: really scary. So well, because you're like, my job exists,
Speaker 1: I promise.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's a real life thing. I get paid monies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I promise.
Speaker 2: I'm not an only fans only my feed us. But
Speaker 2: I think that's a really nice thing to like about
Speaker 2: yourself because it does mean and we'll get into this
Speaker 2: in the first section, which is how you got to
Speaker 2: where you are, it does mean that you have worked
Speaker 2: your way up from you know, Bunbury local radio to
Speaker 2: now like one of the most successful shows in Australia,
Speaker 2: which is incredible, and are still going you're just getting started.
Speaker 2: But I also want to know what's one of the
Speaker 2: things that you beat yourself up about the most.
Speaker 1: Oh that's another tough one. Oh my god. I hope
Speaker 1: it's because it's easier something I beat myself up about.
Speaker 1: I probably actually probably the flip I'm I allowed to
Speaker 1: say is the flip of what I just said. I
Speaker 1: hate that I let my feet get itchy because I'm like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I've got to be leveling up. I've always got to
Speaker 1: be doing something new. It's like such a hard balance.
Speaker 1: It's like something I really love about myself that I'm
Speaker 1: always trying to get better. But it's also like I
Speaker 1: never just enjoy anything. I'm like, cool, that's done, what's next? Yes,
Speaker 1: And I'm oh, everyone's just going to think I'm such
Speaker 1: a fence sitter, but I feel like that. But I
Speaker 1: think that that's really something that I really struggle with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm exactly the same. And I think I listened
Speaker 2: to the podcast you did with Mum and Mia about
Speaker 2: like are you happy right now? And I think that's
Speaker 2: and that's the point of CZA, is that we're measuring
Speaker 2: one part of our lives by success and progress and
Speaker 2: like not always being in the comfort zone and leveling
Speaker 2: up all the time and hustling, but then like happiness
Speaker 2: and enjoying where you are. Sometimes you get like to
Speaker 2: the destination that you've aways wanted to get to, and
Speaker 2: you're like, it's not that great because I missed the
Speaker 2: entire thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I was just like working so hard and
Speaker 1: like I know that we're not allowed to say this anymore,
Speaker 1: but like that grind mindset of like ras and grind,
Speaker 1: like always hustling, like work, work, work, work, work, And
Speaker 1: now it's like, oh, I actually put my phone on
Speaker 1: Do Not Disturb sometimes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I just enjoy myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I just play Blockoo Doco on my phone,
Speaker 1: which is a great game if anyone's looking for a
Speaker 1: shit game to fight. Of things.
Speaker 2: I love about you so much. The book is so
Speaker 2: full of random shit like that that just makes me like,
Speaker 2: I love this woman even more than I thought.
Speaker 1: Okay, coolest thing you've done this year, Oh, coolest thing
Speaker 1: I've done this year? In the meteoric rise of Tony life.
Speaker 1: What is the cool like, the coolest place.
Speaker 2: Or opportunity you've ended up with that you had no
Speaker 2: idea you'd ever like little Tony would have been like
Speaker 2: whoa So not that she sounded like that.
Speaker 1: She did. Actually as a SoundBite we organized earlier again,
Speaker 1: I at the moment on the Tony Ryan podcast, which
Speaker 1: is my main job. We are building like making my
Speaker 1: dreams come true because as a kid, I always wanted
Speaker 1: to be in the quantas ad. Oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 1: I really wanted to be in the girl's choir and
Speaker 1: my mum told me that girls from wa weren't allowed
Speaker 1: to be in the choir.
Speaker 3: And you're working on being the singer in a contus.
Speaker 1: At well, Yeah, so we have actually gone all around
Speaker 1: Australia and filmed me singing the song and that I'm
Speaker 1: not sure when this podcast will come out, but that
Speaker 1: video is in the works at the moment, or maybe
Speaker 1: has just come out or something. Yeah. So we went
Speaker 1: to Sydney and I sang I still call Australia Home
Speaker 1: at the Opera House with like three hundred of our
Speaker 1: podcast listeners behind me, all wearing the same outfit as me.
Speaker 1: They came down on a Saturday morning, we filmed it
Speaker 1: and then we fucked off before the security guards came.
Speaker 2: That is the coolest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: you're going to say by Ai it was like lots
Speaker 2: and lots Tony's no, it's like all these like tarpats
Speaker 2: people who listened to our podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I went to Alice Springs. We went down
Speaker 1: the Great Ocean Road like everything you've done, the full thing.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, but I love how it's like, No, it's
Speaker 2: not with quntas.
Speaker 1: We did. We did it by ourselves and we're hoping
Speaker 1: that Quantus on the back end I'm interested in. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but we just paid to go on quantas flys get
Speaker 1: forward thinking, well done marketing brain. Yeah, and so we're like, well,
Speaker 1: we want to do it anyway, So we just did
Speaker 1: it and hopefully they don't, you know, take the video
Speaker 1: down for copyright or whatever. But yeah, yeah, so I
Speaker 1: can't wait for people to see it because video is amazing.
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine. That's the best thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so I never ever thought that I would
Speaker 1: get to do that, Oh my god. And we just
Speaker 1: like made that happen ourselves. Instead of waiting for someone
Speaker 1: to be like, oh, do you want to do this thing,
Speaker 1: we were just like fuck it, let's just do it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: That's the thing I love the most about podcasts, and
Speaker 2: like having a community that kind of tolerates how weird
Speaker 2: you are.
Speaker 1: Yes, you just.
Speaker 2: Decide to do something, you just do it, like you
Speaker 2: know what tomorrow, Yeah let's film this thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Not only do they kind of tolerate how weird
Speaker 1: we are, they like embrace it and encourage it. Like
Speaker 1: they people who listen to our podcasts like are the
Speaker 1: best and they just love the podcast so much and
Speaker 1: they turn up to things like watching us sing at
Speaker 1: the Opera House and.
Speaker 2: Like it's crazy gabos for a day.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I've just got thousands of friends around the
Speaker 1: world that are like my worst like enablers.
Speaker 2: I've one hundred percent gotten weirder. Like it's brought out
Speaker 2: the find they're facilitators.
Speaker 1: Yes, they're enabling me to just be cooked bitch basically mons.
Speaker 2: So the other thing that comes with a big community
Speaker 2: and amazing opportunities is that you get the cool side
Speaker 2: and then you get some really weird shit in your dms.
Speaker 2: So what's the weirdest DM or like requests from a
Speaker 2: fan or just weird thing that's happened to you Since
Speaker 2: being famous.
Speaker 1: We get heaps of requests for us to go to weddings.
Speaker 1: Heap Have you done one?
Speaker 2: No, we're going to be really far with the precedent
Speaker 2: in the flood game.
Speaker 1: Yeah. That's the thing is that, like you go, oh,
Speaker 1: it'd be great to go to one, but you can't
Speaker 1: go to every wedding, true. Could That's a full time job.
Speaker 1: The amount that we get invited to that's full time job.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we get invited to heaps of weddings on
Speaker 1: like twenty first and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is really lovely because it kind of makes
Speaker 1: me feel like people consider us friends. Yeah, Like they're like,
Speaker 1: I listen to the pod and we're mates. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we are, but I'm not coming to birthday.
Speaker 2: Thanks though, Yeah it cheers those really cute great night.
Speaker 1: So have you got any really weird stuff?
Speaker 2: I have generally got the loveliest audience, Like I think
Speaker 2: the great measure of it was when we did anonymous
Speaker 2: Q and as Yeah, and like when people don't have
Speaker 2: to put their name to stuff, you expect them to
Speaker 2: really go, like you think I'm opening up a can
Speaker 2: of worms. Yeah, and everyone was just lovely, like polite, wholesome,
Speaker 2: really measured questions. But the only one weird thing I've
Speaker 2: got is a request for my shoes, which I was like,
Speaker 2: oh cute, like it is in too resell on deepop
Speaker 2: or like.
Speaker 1: Where did you buy them from? Because I'd like to
Speaker 1: buy my own, yeah, or like if.
Speaker 2: You sell your closed secondhand that you've worn in one
Speaker 2: shoot or something, you know, where do you sell them?
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, like wech shoes and they're
Speaker 2: like you're smelly shoes You've got? I was like how much? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well before I say no, give me some more info.
Speaker 1: We're really lucky to like everybody that listens is really kind,
Speaker 1: Like we get very rarely do we get nasty messages,
Speaker 1: And yeah, the same in my personal dms. But like
Speaker 1: I've seen some horrible stuff that people receive, but I
Speaker 1: don't think I could deal with that.
Speaker 2: No me either, And I feel like I when I
Speaker 2: talk about self doubt and push through the you know,
Speaker 2: just just stop worrying about what the haters think. It's
Speaker 2: easy to say when you don't really have any but like,
Speaker 2: if that was what I was getting every day, I
Speaker 2: don't know how some people do it.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's really sometimes when a video goes and oh,
Speaker 1: you'd be exactly saying, like if the video goes a
Speaker 1: bit crazy, then you go, I'll read the comments for
Speaker 1: the first two days and then I won't. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: you know, there might be some really nasty shit in there,
Speaker 1: but for the moment most part, like unless the video
Speaker 1: goes like crazy, it's pretty good.
Speaker 2: But and then when it goes crazy, I feel like
Speaker 2: the comments are so outlandish that you're like, well, I
Speaker 2: don't care about your opinion anyway, who you're going to
Speaker 2: say something that dumb? It never strikes in your heart
Speaker 2: somewhere that you were really sensitive or like vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's never like you actually don't know how to
Speaker 1: stack the dishwasher In each case, that would really upset.
Speaker 2: Me, something like did you not know that like quarter
Speaker 2: pounders aren't vegan and you're just like okay, cool man
Speaker 2: is Yeah, wow, I'm really upset about that. I'm going
Speaker 2: to close my account.
Speaker 1: Did you say that they were? I don't know. In
Speaker 1: the video, it's really hard.
Speaker 2: And last thing, I love how the fast Fire has
Speaker 2: taking me like oh yes, no, no, no, my Can you
Speaker 2: tell us something? And this is really hard and I've
Speaker 2: never been asked this question, and that's why I thought
Speaker 2: it'd be interesting for you. Can you tell us something
Speaker 2: you've never told anyone publicly? Is there anything? I mean,
Speaker 2: I shouldn't asked you just after a book because there.
Speaker 1: Probably isn't really anything that people don't know. Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: really scared of the dark. Really yeah, I'm like really
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night because I'm like sleep
Speaker 1: with the TV on and stuff. Yeah, because I'm like really.
Speaker 2: Scared and you never said that.
Speaker 1: I don't think so maybe I have. There's probably all
Speaker 1: these people listening that are like.
Speaker 2: Your haters now going.
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever said that, but yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: like really scared of the dark. No, it's just like
Speaker 1: a really lame thing, justly cute. Yeah, And we live
Speaker 1: in like an apartment building and right our car is
Speaker 1: like in a basement, like yeah, in the dark, and
Speaker 1: if you're the first person downstairs in the morning, like
Speaker 1: the lights are like an automatic sensor and it doesn't
Speaker 1: turn on until like you walk down the thing. So
Speaker 1: I like sprint until the light turns on, and then
Speaker 1: I'm like, I love.
Speaker 2: It because it's like, what do we think is going
Speaker 2: to happen in there?
Speaker 1: It's the unknown. If I want to make it deep,
Speaker 1: I'm actually scared of the unknown, which is, you know,
Speaker 1: very noble.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's less weird the more mainstream.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know if you get it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you might not be quoking. It's kind of existential,
Speaker 2: but like.
Speaker 1: Don't even worry about it. I'm pretty deep.
Speaker 2: That's okay, Okay. So the main section of the show
Speaker 2: is Your Way to a which is pretty much tracing
Speaker 2: back from young Tony before you had any idea what
Speaker 2: your future would look like. And I think a lot
Speaker 2: of people walk into your life when you get a
Speaker 2: platform and they think A you are always destined to
Speaker 2: be here or B that you always have existed here,
Speaker 2: and forget that There's been so many chapters where you
Speaker 2: were like who am I? What am I going to do?
Speaker 2: Hard chapters, chapters in like the Cole's Deli, where your
Speaker 2: metrics for your life was so different. And I think
Speaker 2: going through all the stuff that doesn't get as much
Speaker 2: airtime reminds people who are earlier in their journey that
Speaker 2: they could end up somewhere they.
Speaker 1: Never dreamed that they were absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2: And the thing that I took out the most from
Speaker 2: your conclusion of the book was the idea that you
Speaker 2: used to think everything would be better when you got there.
Speaker 2: And that's kind of how this show began is that
Speaker 2: I got there really young. I got to this like
Speaker 2: law firm and this amazing job, and everything was ticked,
Speaker 2: and then I was like, am I going to sit
Speaker 2: here for it?
Speaker 1: Like? Is there?
Speaker 2: Is that? It?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Totally?
Speaker 3: Or does there keep changing? Should it keep changing?
Speaker 2: And if we're always like aiming for this static place
Speaker 2: of happiness, then what else is there once to get there?
Speaker 2: So I love the idea that actually life unravels in
Speaker 2: chapters and your comfort zone catches up to you. So
Speaker 2: let's go back all the way to the very beginning,
Speaker 2: to your younger self in Rolling Stone.
Speaker 1: For how look at you all this?
Speaker 2: I did? I am one of those people.
Speaker 1: Who actually read the book.
Speaker 2: Your three siblings are as sachit terrias she likes some
Speaker 2: walks on the beach. And you had so many career hopes.
Speaker 2: And I think one of the things that younger listeners
Speaker 2: when they're trying to figure out who they are is
Speaker 2: is like they think there's a they think there's five
Speaker 2: jobs that exist, but b they think they need to
Speaker 2: know what they're supposed to be early and you definitely
Speaker 2: had a media theme. But like you've wanted to be everything.
Speaker 2: A ballerina yeap, wanted to be a ballerina, the first
Speaker 2: flute in the West Australian Symphony Orchestra. Yep.
Speaker 1: It's really sad to me that you didn't fulfill that.
Speaker 1: Dre's still upset. My flute's still in my cupboard. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I should have brought it today. I want to shame
Speaker 1: waste opportunity.
Speaker 2: There's still time, but yeah, tell us about how you began,
Speaker 2: how you chose you. You need to greet you and
Speaker 2: all that stuff.
Speaker 1: Well, I think, yeah, it's really interesting the thought of, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you don't know what you want to do, that's it,
Speaker 1: and you'll die when you're like, you'll graduate high school
Speaker 1: and if you don't know what you want to do forever,
Speaker 1: you actually just pass away. Yeah, because I remember a
Speaker 1: teacher giving us this like lecture. It was a whole
Speaker 1: school assembly and it was all the year twelves and
Speaker 1: they were like, you know, if you don't get a
Speaker 1: sea average, you're in grave danger of being in a
Speaker 1: grave like because you're deseased, you'll be dead, like and
Speaker 1: it was so terrifying, and I remember thinking like, well,
Speaker 1: I've got no way. At that time, I wanted to
Speaker 1: be an opera sing and like that was my dream
Speaker 1: and that was what I was going to go to
Speaker 1: uniform and I just had I was like, what do
Speaker 1: you mean that's it? You know? And how do you
Speaker 1: pick that? And there was a time in my life
Speaker 1: where I really wanted to own a two dollar shop
Speaker 1: because it was the only times tables that I knew
Speaker 1: and I was like, ye, So I was like, if
Speaker 1: people come through with like all these items, I'll know
Speaker 1: exactly how much it costs because it's the only Times
Speaker 1: table I know what our calculators.
Speaker 2: That's the stest thing, not how cashra just just work
Speaker 2: either the criteria though, it's like if my job will
Speaker 2: be based on my favorite Times table.
Speaker 1: Also not a very smart kid, only none of my two's.
Speaker 1: I mean that does open a lot of doors. There's
Speaker 1: a two dollars shop in every city, right, pretty smart.
Speaker 2: It's transferable.
Speaker 3: Every currency has.
Speaker 1: Yes, except when you go to like because isn't rupee
Speaker 1: or like cra million, Yeah two million, just come for
Speaker 1: the zero. The zeros at adam back on and be fine,
Speaker 1: really fine. But so that's kind of I went through
Speaker 1: so many things, and like you said, was always pretty
Speaker 1: media based, like wanted to be balerin o and singer,
Speaker 1: flute player, all of that everything, And I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just destined for greatness, don't know what I will do.
Speaker 1: And then I didn't get into Whoppa, I didn't get
Speaker 1: into classical voice, and I was like.
Speaker 2: So the theme song at my funeral will be Yeah.
Speaker 1: Literally, I was like, oh, well they told me that
Speaker 1: if I wasn't if I didn't get in, then that
Speaker 1: was it. And I was like, okay, cool, So what
Speaker 1: do I do now. And I remember having this like
Speaker 1: actual breakdown because I was like, what, I don't know
Speaker 1: what else there is. I didn't know myself at all,
Speaker 1: because I was sixteen or seventeen, however old you are
Speaker 1: when you finish year twelve. And I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know myself. I don't know what I want to do.
Speaker 1: My mom was like, you'll find something, just like get
Speaker 1: a job, earn some money, and then you'll at least
Speaker 1: have a like feel a bit more empowered. So I
Speaker 1: got a job at a fishmonger. It was the owner
Speaker 1: only job I could get, and I started working there
Speaker 1: full time when I finished school, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: pretty glam glam glam, itslt amazing and so catching the
Speaker 1: train home every day like caked in garbage, it was
Speaker 1: so disgusting. And so I did that for a while
Speaker 1: and then I was like, Okay, maybe I'm like ready
Speaker 1: to try and think about what I want to do again.
Speaker 1: And then I applied for WOPPER again. That's the Western
Speaker 1: China Academy Performing Arts for anybody not from Perth, which
Speaker 1: is everyone.
Speaker 2: Who hasn't read the book yet. Yeah, I mean, you're like,
Speaker 2: I know, you need to explain it.
Speaker 1: I get it. I read it.
Speaker 2: I've got some proof here, I've got some notes that
Speaker 2: I took earlier.
Speaker 1: And I started like listening to music again and feeling myself.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh, I think what I'll
Speaker 1: go and do is sound engineering, which is what I
Speaker 1: ended up getting in. And that was like audio production,
Speaker 1: like working in theater, working on music stuff, and just
Speaker 1: like a huge range. But I was like, I feel
Speaker 1: like that might be the right direction. And then yeah,
Speaker 1: so I managed to get in and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm set, this is it, this will be me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I finally have arisen.
Speaker 2: It's easter, I am resurrected.
Speaker 1: And yeah. So I was like, okay, I'm back on.
Speaker 1: I'm back on, like here we go. And then yes,
Speaker 1: I was studying, and then I had no idea where
Speaker 1: I what I really wanted to do. But I thought
Speaker 1: that I really wanted to own my own record label
Speaker 1: and have like a recording studio like music stuff. That
Speaker 1: was what I really wanted to do when I started.
Speaker 1: And then I got offered a job in radio, like
Speaker 1: by accident, and I was like, well, this is it
Speaker 1: might as well?
Speaker 2: Is that it ostereo?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Bunbury, Yes.
Speaker 1: In Bumbrey. Yeah, and that was like an hour and
Speaker 1: a half away from my home and really yeah, so
Speaker 1: I was living with my boyfriend and all that stuff,
Speaker 1: and my mom passed away while I was at UNI.
Speaker 1: So I ended up deferring for a year and trying
Speaker 1: to like figure out what I wanted to do, and
Speaker 1: I ended up going back and then I got off
Speaker 1: with that job in radio. So I feel like it
Speaker 1: was such a I mean, UNI for everybody is like
Speaker 1: such a pivotal time. You learn so much about you
Speaker 1: make real friends because all the people you're friends with
Speaker 1: at school is like proximity, like you're friends with them, yeah,
Speaker 1: because you see them every day and you talk to
Speaker 1: them on MSN every night. So it just makes sense.
Speaker 2: You know, you were born in ninety three, Like, how
Speaker 2: do you know about MSN?
Speaker 1: What MSN is a thing? MSN? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Really, yes, I feel like that was after your era.
Speaker 1: No, I'm like with and yeah, so I feel like
Speaker 1: it's pivotal for everybody. But I was just like, Okay,
Speaker 1: my life is all of a sudden, like so different.
Speaker 1: And that was when I was kind of like I
Speaker 1: need to flip everything on its head because it kind
Speaker 1: of half already years, and yeah, I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I will take that job. It's not what I wanted
Speaker 1: to do, not what I ever thought that I would do,
Speaker 1: didn't know anything about it, but I was like, yep, cool,
Speaker 1: see ya, Oh my god, Yeah, And that was pretty wild.
Speaker 2: I feel like even reading all the chapters of going
Speaker 2: like getting to there but then getting from there to
Speaker 2: here is a combination of like accidentally being in the
Speaker 2: right position.
Speaker 1: Totally so lucky.
Speaker 2: But and then I was going to say, but not
Speaker 2: only luck, because I think we all kind of attribute
Speaker 2: so much to luck, Like, yeah, I was in the
Speaker 2: right place at the right time, and I wouldn't have
Speaker 2: got that thing if I wasn't. But you kind of
Speaker 2: have to turn luck into an opportunity, right.
Speaker 1: Take that adrenaline and make it something. Yeah, And because
Speaker 1: also there are people that are in the right spot
Speaker 1: but don't realize yeah, and then don't like harness that
Speaker 1: and take advantage of whatever kind of place they've fallen
Speaker 1: into or an opportunity that's falling into their lap. Because
Speaker 1: that definitely happened to me in my life as well,
Speaker 1: that things came across my desk and I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't think that's right or not really the right
Speaker 1: move right now, and like luckily I didn't the same
Speaker 1: way that there were lots of things I tried to
Speaker 1: do that I got denied that Now I look back
Speaker 1: and I'm like, thank god that person didn't agree to
Speaker 1: go on a date with me, or that I didn't
Speaker 1: get that job, or that you know, that person one
Speaker 1: instead of me, or you know whatever. I think it
Speaker 1: kind of works both ways.
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. And I think you do see a lot
Speaker 2: of people who do have so many lucky opportunities and
Speaker 2: not necessarily squander it, but they don't build the relationships
Speaker 2: or they don't or they tried the opportunity, but they
Speaker 2: don't make the most of it to then take it
Speaker 2: to the next level. Like not everyone who had exactly
Speaker 2: the same luck as you would be where you are
Speaker 2: right now. So how did you then go from like
Speaker 2: the very very entry level wa small you know position
Speaker 2: as like while you were still at UNI to now
Speaker 2: like one of the biggest shows in the country. How
Speaker 2: did that happen?
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like no, it's still just like what
Speaker 1: the It's wild. I would have even six months ago,
Speaker 1: a year like never ever dreamed that I was in
Speaker 1: this spot like. So when I first started working in radio,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I could really make
Speaker 1: something out of this, and kind of imagined that, you know,
Speaker 1: someone would be like, oh my god, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: like take me or just you know, like recognize my
Speaker 1: raw talent, like you're a sistar. You know that actually
Speaker 1: doesn't happen in real life, which I was really.
Speaker 2: Upset by all this raw talent yeahing unnoticed.
Speaker 1: Cook it cook my raw talent. And I just kind
Speaker 1: of started doing random things around the radio station. And
Speaker 1: then when I was in bumburriy, all I wanted was
Speaker 1: to like go to Metro and I was like, I'll
Speaker 1: make more money and I'll be in a big city
Speaker 1: and I'll you know. And that was kind of where
Speaker 1: the burnout started to happen, because I was doing the
Speaker 1: thing I was talking about before, like my feet were
Speaker 1: too itchy, and I don't know whether I was really ready.
Speaker 1: But I ended up applying for this job in Sydney
Speaker 1: and I got it, and I fucking it. I hated
Speaker 1: it so much, and my boyfriend moved with me. We
Speaker 1: moved our entire lives to Sydney and we lasted six months.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and then I applied for the job
Speaker 1: that I originally didn't get in Melbourne and because the
Speaker 1: other person left and I ended up moving down after
Speaker 1: six months. I was like, you'd be crazy on tire me,
Speaker 1: like you need me, and they will I and my
Speaker 1: raw talent, do we really? And I was like, you
Speaker 1: need me, like you'd be crazy not tire me. And
Speaker 1: I've never done that in my life. I don't think
Speaker 1: I've ever done it since that I've walked in somewhere
Speaker 1: and I was like, you would this is the right decision,
Speaker 1: But I did, and they believed me, and then I
Speaker 1: moved down to Melbourne, and yeah, I've been in Melbourne
Speaker 1: ever since.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. See this is a bit like the
Speaker 2: bit between the first job and where you are now
Speaker 2: is the bit where I think maybe in generations ago,
Speaker 2: the pathways were kind of clearer and it was easier
Speaker 2: to goal set and to be, like, you know, in
Speaker 2: ten years, this is where the person who did this
Speaker 2: before me ended up. So that's where I can be
Speaker 2: whereas I feel like in our ja neration, no one's
Speaker 2: pathways like straightforward. It makes sense, there's no by the
Speaker 2: book no, But that does mean that either you can
Speaker 2: do anything, like anything is possible, but also nothing is
Speaker 2: possible because unless you kind of are willing to use
Speaker 2: uncertainty to your advantage, then you might not necessarily end
Speaker 2: up where you have. So how did you, like, was
Speaker 2: it the itchy feet? Did you plan where you are now?
Speaker 2: Was that always the big goal or did you have
Speaker 2: lots of I'm a big fan of like the small goals,
Speaker 2: like you don't have to what's that calle, You don't
Speaker 2: have to see the whole staircase, You just have to
Speaker 2: take the first step. Is that kind of how each
Speaker 2: thing unraveled? Or were you always like I want to
Speaker 2: end up with my own show.
Speaker 1: I think it was probably the small steps, but by accident. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't I think that. When I got to Breakfast
Speaker 1: Radio in Melbourne, I was just a producer, but I
Speaker 1: was like, this show is great. I'm really happy. I
Speaker 1: was in my dream city. Like I grew up in
Speaker 1: Perth and I always wanted to end up in Melbourne.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend was the same, he was like, I'd love
Speaker 1: to live in Melbourne and then so it was kind
Speaker 1: of like that was such a personal goal. But then
Speaker 1: getting that job, I was like cool, like I could
Speaker 1: stay here forever. And then you know, only to a
Speaker 1: couple of years before I was like, okay, well I
Speaker 1: can't stay here forever. But I did not ever think
Speaker 1: that I would have my own show or that I
Speaker 1: would ever because I I guess I was always waiting
Speaker 1: for someone to be like, do you want this? Like
Speaker 1: would you like this? It's your turn? And that actually
Speaker 1: doesn't happen.
Speaker 2: Yes, oh my god, like.
Speaker 1: It doesn't and even if you and this is not
Speaker 1: just I don't want this to sound super unrelatable, because
Speaker 1: I think this is the case like any job, any circumstance,
Speaker 1: Like no one ever just says like, oh you've been
Speaker 1: waiting really patiently, did you want this job as a nurse?
Speaker 1: Or did so hard for this? You know, like there's
Speaker 1: actually no one taking note of that, like you have
Speaker 1: to tell someone. And then when I realized that, I
Speaker 1: was like, look, you know, i'd really like to be
Speaker 1: on the air. I'd like to be on the radio.
Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, well, you're just a producer, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh okay, and I like took that
Speaker 1: no for an answer, which is the opposite of what
Speaker 1: you're supposed to do. You're supposed to never take no
Speaker 1: for an answer, and I was like, oh, okay, well
Speaker 1: someone told me I couldn't, so I guess that's just it.
Speaker 1: And then when I met Ryan, who I now do
Speaker 1: the podcast with, he is like the biggest He is
Speaker 1: like such a go getter. He is like just always inspired,
Speaker 1: He's always ready to go. Like he just if someone
Speaker 1: says no to him, he will question it or he'll go,
Speaker 1: oh okay, well I just won't ask next time and
Speaker 1: I'll just do it myself. And I'm like, oh my god, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's like not what I'm like at all by nature.
Speaker 1: And then he was like, well, Tony, if no one
Speaker 1: will give you a show, create your own. And I
Speaker 1: was like, would you want to? You want to do
Speaker 1: it with me? And that's how it happened really much.
Speaker 2: So that actually kind of leads it's a segyefully into
Speaker 2: like part of the conversation is always around your which
Speaker 2: is the bits that you don't see as much of
Speaker 2: because like, no one wants to be a negative Nancy.
Speaker 2: But I think it's the bit that helps you more
Speaker 2: to hear about on your own journey that everyone has
Speaker 2: a shit time, right, like even to get to the
Speaker 2: funnest parts or the most fulfilling parts, or the coolest
Speaker 2: jobs or whatever. To get to your joy. There's always
Speaker 2: shitty bits along the way, And I think one of
Speaker 2: them is like that self doubt that you know, inability
Speaker 2: to question a know, the waiting for something to happen
Speaker 2: to you and not having the confidence to you know,
Speaker 2: make it happen for yourself. And also if you don't
Speaker 2: have a ryan or you don't have like the people
Speaker 2: around you to question those things, how are you ever
Speaker 2: going to change your mindset? And I had the exact
Speaker 2: same thing, Like lawyers are so risk averse, so as
Speaker 2: soon as there's an opportunity, I'm like, why should it
Speaker 2: not work? Like that was my training was why is
Speaker 2: this shit? Like? What's going to go wrong? And I
Speaker 2: was never going to be able to do business that way.
Speaker 2: I needed a person who is the total opposite to
Speaker 2: kind of you just need to fill the gaps of
Speaker 2: your own thinking to get yourself out of the same
Speaker 2: thing you've always done for you in that whole journey.
Speaker 2: What have been the biggest barriers that you've had to overcome?
Speaker 2: Is it the imposter syndrome and self doubt coming from
Speaker 2: smaller town into these huge cities. Is it that like
Speaker 2: overwhelm of like hy me or you've said no, like rejection.
Speaker 2: I know, grief was a massive thing for you that
Speaker 2: I hadn't actually heard you talk about, because there is
Speaker 2: this perception of you as like always funny and always
Speaker 2: seeing the happy and the joy, which is i'm sure
Speaker 2: a big part of your personality, but not the only
Speaker 2: thing you've been through. So what were the hardest parts?
Speaker 1: Well, the first thing that you said about like the
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome and just like the self doubt that was huge.
Speaker 1: I you know, not only were they're not really any
Speaker 1: people that I knew that had ever done what I
Speaker 1: wanted to do. You know, like if you want to
Speaker 1: be a lawyer or a teacher, chances are that your
Speaker 1: dad says, oh, well, Mick down the road, he's a lawyer.
Speaker 1: You know, he's a horse.
Speaker 2: Question, dude, he can do the Navy eight.
Speaker 1: You know, like there's just all these you know, people
Speaker 1: around you that you see these similarities between like what
Speaker 1: you want to achieve or what you want to do,
Speaker 1: the same way that like if you see your mum
Speaker 1: being a mum, you go, okay, well I want to
Speaker 1: be a mum or whatever, you just assume that your
Speaker 1: journey is going to look like that. And I didn't
Speaker 1: know anybody that had done what I There are millions
Speaker 1: of people that have done what I have now done,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know anyone. I also didn't really know
Speaker 1: anybody that like considered it a job, you know, like
Speaker 1: it was such a new thing, and I didn't really
Speaker 1: know what it was. I just I was like, I
Speaker 1: want to be famous, and I know that I will be.
Speaker 1: I just don't know how I'm going to get there.
Speaker 1: And for someone who is like such a self doubter,
Speaker 1: it's almost weird to hear myself reminisce on that time
Speaker 1: when I was like, well, I'm going to be famous,
Speaker 1: so I don't need I don't need to worry about it.
Speaker 2: Like just gonna happen.
Speaker 1: But I was, and I didn't know what it was
Speaker 1: and I didn't know why. But I remember like seeing
Speaker 1: mansions at the top of the in rolling Stone, like
Speaker 1: in Perth where I grew up, and saying to my
Speaker 1: mum like, oh, one day I'm going to live there
Speaker 1: and you'll be visiting me there.
Speaker 2: Like you just knew.
Speaker 1: I was just like yeah, one day, I mean, she's
Speaker 1: dead so she isn't and I don't live in Perth anymore,
Speaker 1: so so you know, so that's all over. But but
Speaker 1: my there was just there was so much like I
Speaker 1: was literally two people in one brain, and that was
Speaker 1: really hard because I was battling with this person who
Speaker 1: was like so fucking positive and so sure of myself,
Speaker 1: but doubting every single step of the way and being like, well,
Speaker 1: you can't, like you can't do that, that's not possible.
Speaker 1: You don't know anyone that's done that, how you do it?
Speaker 1: You know that, Like it's not what you know, but
Speaker 1: who you know. And so I was like, well I
Speaker 1: don't know anyone, so like this isn't nobody. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: this isn't possible. Yeah. And then the other part was
Speaker 1: the grief obviously, like dealing with my mom passing away.
Speaker 1: So my mom passed away when I was nineteen, which
Speaker 1: is just insane, and she was sick for like a year,
Speaker 1: so it was quite quick as well. And yeah, like
Speaker 1: I was saying before, I was at UNI at the time,
Speaker 1: so I was just like I had no idea how
Speaker 1: to recover from that and what to do, and because
Speaker 1: it was like such a traumatic thing and I didn't
Speaker 1: have any kind of emotional intelligence to deal with to
Speaker 1: deal with that at the time, I just like pushed
Speaker 1: it down and I was like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: actually fine, like wind Tony one grief zero like I'm
Speaker 1: actually fine, and then negative fifty like and then when
Speaker 1: I moved to Melbourne and I finally felt like quite
Speaker 1: fulfilled at my job, it's when all of these feelings
Speaker 1: started to come out about my mum and I didn't
Speaker 1: know what to do. I couldn't. I just couldn't handle it.
Speaker 1: But I needed, I really needed to talk to someone
Speaker 1: about it. And that's where the book I Don't Need
Speaker 1: Therapy it was kind of born because I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't need that. I'm fine, and then
Speaker 1: I did needed.
Speaker 2: She did, in fact therapy.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so I feel like that part is such
Speaker 1: a massive part of who I am because and this
Speaker 1: way sounds really twisted and people go oh when I
Speaker 1: say it, but I'm almost so grateful that my mom
Speaker 1: died because well, not that I'm grateful that she died,
Speaker 1: but I know what you mean, Like, I am so
Speaker 1: grateful that I learned so much about myself at such
Speaker 1: a young age and built all of these kind of
Speaker 1: things into my personality. I can now handle so much
Speaker 1: more stuff than I ever thought was possible. Like, I
Speaker 1: learned so much about it, and it's like I wouldn't
Speaker 1: want her to die in Vain and not get anything
Speaker 1: out of it. So I'm really glad that, Like, even
Speaker 1: though I would give anything for her to still be here,
Speaker 1: I'm grateful that I learned something and took something away
Speaker 1: from it. Even though it's horrible and sad, it is
Speaker 1: really changed. I wouldn't I would be living in Perth.
Speaker 1: I'd probably be married, I'd probably have three kids. If
Speaker 1: she hadn't died, I'd probably just still be in Perth.
Speaker 1: And that's fine, but that isn't retrospectively, that's not the
Speaker 1: life that I want for myself. It's not what I
Speaker 1: want for myself then. But I would have just been
Speaker 1: so comfy, and that light pushed me right out of
Speaker 1: the nest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so interesting because I think it's it brings
Speaker 2: me back to that whole idea that life is so
Speaker 2: much like maybe not these exact proportions, but ten percent
Speaker 2: what happens to you in ninety percent what you make
Speaker 2: of it. Like if she was going to pass away
Speaker 2: when you were nineteen, if that was in the stars
Speaker 2: for you, no matter what, it's what you did with
Speaker 2: it afterwards. That grief can become people's entire identity, and
Speaker 2: there are people out there who it has become like
Speaker 2: their story, like that is the rest of their life
Speaker 2: that they they you know, didn't have the tools to
Speaker 2: harness it into something or to now be able to
Speaker 2: speak about it like this, or to go on to
Speaker 2: become the funniest person in Australia who you can't imagine you,
Speaker 2: Like if you met you now and I hadn't read
Speaker 2: the book and didn't know that, I can't imagine you
Speaker 2: in the throes of grief because yeah, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. And I think that's a really beautiful thing
Speaker 2: for anyone listening, because you think, I think you could
Speaker 2: assume easily that to be a you now, you can't
Speaker 2: have had anything like that in your life, like totally,
Speaker 2: you can't have had trauma, you can't have had setbacks,
Speaker 2: you can't have had negativity, because how could you be funny,
Speaker 2: Like how could you be so lighthearted? How could you
Speaker 2: be like making people laugh all the time? How could
Speaker 2: you see the lightness in life. But I think it's
Speaker 2: even more powerful knowing that you did come from that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I think as well, lots of I get
Speaker 1: lots of messages all the time of people being like
Speaker 1: I have experienced grief, whether it was like a sibling
Speaker 1: or a parent pass away or you know, whatever circumstance
Speaker 1: it was. And I said, I've never heard somebody make
Speaker 1: jokes about their mum passing away and I've never related
Speaker 1: to something more. Yeah, right, And I because I do
Speaker 1: it because it's like a way for me to talk
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, because like you know, like if you
Speaker 1: were like, oh, it was on the phone to mum
Speaker 1: this morning and whatever, I don't have that, Like I
Speaker 1: don't you know. And I mean everybody has like a
Speaker 1: complicated relationship with their family. I don't think it matters
Speaker 1: who you are. I think that there is some you know,
Speaker 1: complication there or some weird feeling. But I think hearing
Speaker 1: people say I've never related to anything more when like
Speaker 1: making jokes about it, it does show that like people just
Speaker 1: want to talk totally. And it's like even if you
Speaker 1: I've said before, I think that apologizing to someone when
Speaker 1: someone passed away is just the worst thing that you
Speaker 1: can do. You know, when you say to someone like, oh,
Speaker 1: my mom's just passed away, they go, oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I go, well you didn't kill her. It's like, actually,
Speaker 1: not like there's nothing for you to apologize for. Also,
Speaker 1: when I'm feeling crap about my mum being dead or
Speaker 1: my you know whatever, I don't want to then go, oh, it's.
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, you don't want to precate the other person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So then am I comforting you even though I'm
Speaker 1: the one who at that time needs the love. Yeah?
Speaker 1: And I never thought of like that. And then someone
Speaker 1: said to me, they like called me out. They're like, well,
Speaker 1: what should you say then? And I was like, I
Speaker 1: actually think that saying I really don't know what to say,
Speaker 1: or asking someone what they want is so much better
Speaker 1: and such a powerful way to kind of turn the
Speaker 1: situation into like opening it up, because sometimes people actually
Speaker 1: just want you to listen, whether it's like crying and
Speaker 1: yelling and screaming, or whether it's like can we just
Speaker 1: go and watch a movie and not talk, but you
Speaker 1: just be here. And my partner, my boyfriend, Torbs, we've
Speaker 1: been together flat almost ten years, and he does this
Speaker 1: and he says like, whenever I'm like having a MENTI
Speaker 1: bee about something or ranting and raving about something that
Speaker 1: happened at the shops or at work, whatever, he says,
Speaker 1: are we feelings or solutions based right now?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, yeah, I talked about this reason I
Speaker 2: saw a meme that was like a similar thing. Life changing,
Speaker 2: so good, life changing.
Speaker 1: It has changed because not only does it give me
Speaker 1: what I want in that moment, makes me think about
Speaker 1: what I want, Like do I want to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: so this bitch cut me off in the car park,
Speaker 1: and do I just want to like be a dick
Speaker 1: about that for five minutes, or do I want him
Speaker 1: to go like, well maybe in the future. I don't
Speaker 1: know what the.
Speaker 2: Don't steal a car park when she's unloading her baby Tony.
Speaker 1: Such a bitch, such an extreme kid.
Speaker 2: She she's postpartum.
Speaker 1: Literally I would just with a record, I would not
Speaker 1: do that. But like, it's really changed our relationship because
Speaker 1: he's like, you get what you want out of me,
Speaker 1: and then it feels so much more satisfying because I
Speaker 1: then go, I actually just want to whinge about and
Speaker 1: he goes, well, what a bitch? Yeah, yes, Instead of going, well,
Speaker 1: were you in the wrong or you know.
Speaker 2: It is like when I read that, I was like,
Speaker 2: that is one of the most game changing thought provokers
Speaker 2: for anyone, because if you don't know, like you can't
Speaker 2: get the response from your partner if you don't even
Speaker 2: know what you want exactly. But also they can't give
Speaker 2: it to you if you don't just say I actually
Speaker 2: don't want a solution. And I think because men often
Speaker 2: like masternalization, but men's default thinking is a solution is
Speaker 2: a love language, like that's helping you, but I often
Speaker 2: don't want one.
Speaker 1: Like no my or need one for that specific Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was wrong.
Speaker 2: I just want to feel like I was correct, So
Speaker 2: help me for a second and then I'll get past it.
Speaker 2: And I think, like, without even realizing, that's how Nick
Speaker 2: and I survived in business because we learned how to
Speaker 2: do that without knowing that that's but once I put
Speaker 2: a label on it, I was like, oh, oh, that's.
Speaker 1: What we do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And now like, if you can get to it quickly,
Speaker 2: you avoid so much conflict.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And because then I'm not like, oh, you never
Speaker 1: give me what I want, He's like, well, you don't
Speaker 1: tell me what you need from me? So we've been
Speaker 1: doing that for a couple of years and he always
Speaker 1: asked me that now, and I'm like, oh, that's exactly
Speaker 1: I needed you to call me out then, Like I
Speaker 1: actually needed you to be like, Tony, what are we
Speaker 1: doing here? Yeah? Yeah, And I find it really helpful.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's that's revolutionary, among so many other
Speaker 2: things in this book that are revolutionary. And I think
Speaker 2: it's beautiful that so many people have, particularly on the
Speaker 2: grief topic, but on every topic. You've opened up so
Speaker 2: much about to let people see that it's not all
Speaker 2: just laughter and hilarious content, like truly hilarious, but there
Speaker 2: are so many sides of you that people can really
Speaker 2: relate to. What has it been like to write the book?
Speaker 1: Cathartic?
Speaker 3: Horrible, amazing, scary, like.
Speaker 2: Did you get a vulnerability hangover? We were talking before
Speaker 2: we went on air about how like the writing process
Speaker 2: is so long and you don't tell anyone about it,
Speaker 2: that your journey started like a year ago, so you
Speaker 2: kind of get a little bit over your own book
Speaker 2: by the time you just like, ill, how do you
Speaker 2: feel about it now?
Speaker 1: So the writing journey was definitely very cathartic because there
Speaker 1: was like so many things, and for anybody that doesn't know,
Speaker 1: every chapter of the book is built on a lie.
Speaker 1: So I started reading writing the book and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, like what should the layout be? And you know,
Speaker 1: what do I really want to like convey in this?
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, you know, like I want
Speaker 1: to talk about how I always wake up at five
Speaker 1: am and I go to the gym. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't fucking do that. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about how I'm always positive and
Speaker 1: like really happy, go lucky. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: well I don't fucking do that either, and then so
Speaker 1: all these things that I realized. I was like, man,
Speaker 1: I lie to myself so much. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: hang on, I actually do. Yeah, I actually do lie
Speaker 1: to myself all the time, whether it is something as
Speaker 1: easy as and in the book, I said, like, you
Speaker 1: know when you tell yourself like oh, that pot should
Speaker 1: probably soak overnight, like yeah, I think it does.
Speaker 2: Need to be ready to be ready.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll soak that and maybe someone else in the
Speaker 1: house will get to it tomorrow very well, that toobs
Speaker 1: will wake up and be like fucking hell, it's so
Speaker 1: that by didn't have you boiled water, like it did
Speaker 1: not need to be soaked.
Speaker 2: Overnight triven noodles, and.
Speaker 1: But so like really simple things like that, and then
Speaker 1: lying times off about being happy and being fulfilled and
Speaker 1: feeling you know, like I was at the top of
Speaker 1: my game. And so I think the book was my
Speaker 1: version of like confronting myself on all of these things
Speaker 1: that Yeah, because I was like, wow, I even all
Speaker 1: these little things that I just realized that I say
Speaker 1: a lot that I was like, I don't mean that,
Speaker 1: or I don't feel good about this thing that I
Speaker 1: do all the time, or you know, lots of different
Speaker 1: kinds of things, and I found it to be just
Speaker 1: so such an amazing experience. But yeah, I think because
Speaker 1: the period of like writing the book, so I wrote
Speaker 1: it in like six months, and then it was another
Speaker 1: six months of like printing and editing it and you
Speaker 1: read it before it ever came out. Your little quote there.
Speaker 2: It's like like gonna be in my bio, like my
Speaker 2: title is now provider of book A quote.
Speaker 3: Seriously, you read my email to you when you asked me, was.
Speaker 1: Like, why, well, why do you want me?
Speaker 2: This is the most like this is the best things
Speaker 2: ever happen in my life.
Speaker 1: No, So I was just like, she's gonna say no,
Speaker 1: Like there's no way. I was honestly so honored when
Speaker 1: you said yes, yeah, because I asked you to read
Speaker 1: an entire book for like, because like I can't pay you,
Speaker 1: Like I can't pay you because that would be like
Speaker 1: incredibly unethical. Imagine if I was like, I'll pay you
Speaker 1: to give me a really good.
Speaker 2: Review, I would have been like how much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my fees and.
Speaker 2: Issues are like a free added in. They're an adult
Speaker 2: gift we purchase.
Speaker 1: But like, I can't even remember what I was probably
Speaker 1: wasn't interesting.
Speaker 2: It was such an honor and to like I poured
Speaker 2: over it. I printed it. I got like printed out
Speaker 2: the PDF and was like scribbling all over the place
Speaker 2: and it was it was I would.
Speaker 1: Take that out. But I wonder if you've seen this
Speaker 1: three times.
Speaker 2: No, it was such a joy, And I think it
Speaker 2: was such a joy to feel like, and you said
Speaker 2: this about the show, that to feel like we know
Speaker 2: you so well and we have such an intimate insight
Speaker 2: into what you find funny, into you and Ryan's day
Speaker 2: to day, like you talk so much and share so
Speaker 2: much about your life to feel like we know you,
Speaker 2: but then to see this whole other side of how
Speaker 2: your brain works. And my ultimate joy, Like the thing
Speaker 2: I get off on so much is who people were
Speaker 2: before they are now, because I feel like you understand
Speaker 2: them so much better. It gives so much depth to like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, I just feel like I was like
Speaker 2: unraveling this whole other side of you, and I loved it.
Speaker 2: I loved it so much.
Speaker 1: Thank you. But I think exactly like you said earlier,
Speaker 1: most people are like, oh, so you're famous, so you
Speaker 1: always had that, or oh so you've got a really
Speaker 1: successful business job, a huge family of beautiful kids or whatever,
Speaker 1: and you just go, oh, well, you know, obviously your
Speaker 1: life's always been peachy. I think my favorite books to
Speaker 1: read are autobiographies and biographies because I love reading that, like,
Speaker 1: you know, these famous people that you love have had
Speaker 1: like such a hard goal of it beforehand, but yeah,
Speaker 1: when you see the background and see where they are now,
Speaker 1: I find that really inspiring. And then so to hear
Speaker 1: people feeling that way about what I've written as well
Speaker 1: is like just I speechless. It's honestly so incredible because
Speaker 1: I was like, if this only changes one person great,
Speaker 1: you know. And I've got messages from people being like,
Speaker 1: my mom read your book after I told her too,
Speaker 1: Like I was like, this book's great, and she was like,
Speaker 1: and my mom is now going to go to therapy
Speaker 1: because she's realized all these things in her life that
Speaker 1: have happened. And like an older generation like therapy is
Speaker 1: not really a thing, you know. I think it's like
Speaker 1: destigmatized now and people are like happy to get help,
Speaker 1: and you know, know when we learn to recognize when
Speaker 1: we need a bit of a hand or that is a.
Speaker 2: Weakness exactly, yeah, like there's something wrong with you, like
Speaker 2: you're faulty because you need help.
Speaker 1: In fact, now I would say that it's considered the opposite.
Speaker 2: It's like enlightened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that you have the ability to like read your
Speaker 1: own cues and go. I do need actually to riff
Speaker 1: about this with somebody. But to hear that there are
Speaker 1: older people that are going to therapy because of what
Speaker 1: I wrote is like I can't believe that that's really amazing.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's been beautiful.
Speaker 2: I've like literally spent I've like literally spent like thousands
Speaker 2: of dollars on therapy, like one hundred percent wouldn't be
Speaker 2: who I am without it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's really empowering to realize that you
Speaker 1: are allowed to like need help and that it's only natural.
Speaker 1: And almost to the point where I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, but if I need someone, I'm cuckoo. And
Speaker 1: I was like, actually I am kokoo, a cuckoo.
Speaker 2: I don't want to find out why, but I want
Speaker 2: to talk about, like just let's just ventilate the cuckoo
Speaker 2: the cuck I like that. So one of the things
Speaker 2: I think was really interesting that I read in the
Speaker 2: book was how during your time with Jason PJ. I
Speaker 2: love PJ so much. On her podcast, raisently if you
Speaker 2: did show no I haven't.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: She's such a legend.
Speaker 3: Yeah she is, And there was a chapter about her.
Speaker 2: I think another thing I love is how many times
Speaker 2: in people's journeys there's a pivotal conversation. There's often like
Speaker 2: it's not sometimes the courses you go to or the
Speaker 2: big strategy days that you have. It's like one chat
Speaker 2: you have with someone or one day that Ryan says,
Speaker 2: if you don't want to do a show, then do
Speaker 2: some videos. Just do them, like you know, it's it's
Speaker 2: just some it's often in the smaller moments that someone
Speaker 2: says something to you and when it catches.
Speaker 1: You off guard. Yeah, and that's often when you're the
Speaker 1: most open to change as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you're not forcing something to happen, but it
Speaker 2: becomes a pivotal moment. And you guys had a conversation
Speaker 2: about her asking you why do you want to be famous?
Speaker 2: Why have you always wanted this? And what does that
Speaker 2: mean to you? And it kind of touches on the
Speaker 2: theme of this show, which is that often most of
Speaker 2: us been all of our lives measuring our lives by success,
Speaker 2: which is financial, which is prestige, which is like, you
Speaker 2: know whatever, it's measured by followers like numbers, metrics to
Speaker 2: you that are used to measure our lives. And you
Speaker 2: realize that it wasn't necessarily fame in itself that you wanted.
Speaker 2: It was a place where you could just be you
Speaker 2: and where you didn't have to tell lies to yourself,
Speaker 2: and where you could write a book where you confront
Speaker 2: yourself on your lives and then let people see it,
Speaker 2: like release that to the public. So how do you
Speaker 2: feel now, having kind of gone through that entire cycle,
Speaker 2: do you feel famous, do you feel successful and do
Speaker 2: you feel happy?
Speaker 1: Definitely feel happy. That's the biggest one. I have like
Speaker 1: so much freedom as well now and that's probably what
Speaker 1: I value more over. And it's easy to say when
Speaker 1: you've got it, right, I think that's the other thing
Speaker 1: that to acknowledge that, Like it's easy to say this
Speaker 1: when you have it, when you do have freedom. But
Speaker 1: at the time, you know, like I was really happy
Speaker 1: and I wasn't earning great money, but I was doing okay,
Speaker 1: and my partner was studying, so that was quite tight.
Speaker 1: I was like supporting both of us for a long time.
Speaker 1: But like I was feeling really happy at the job,
Speaker 1: but it just wasn't the right one. And now to
Speaker 1: look at things and not you know, get the Sunday
Speaker 1: scaries and not have like that depressive time on the
Speaker 1: weekend where I go I have to go back to
Speaker 1: work on Monday, or being like, oh I think I'm sick.
Speaker 1: I don't think I can come in Like I just
Speaker 1: really genuinely get so much enjoyment out of what I
Speaker 1: do every day, and I I'm so so lucky to
Speaker 1: be able to actually do that for a job, whether
Speaker 1: at last forever, whether it last for five years whatever.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to enjoy it for as long as
Speaker 1: I can. But to know that I've gone through that
Speaker 1: whole cycle of like realizing and being able to actually
Speaker 1: like pinpoint what it was that I wanted, which was
Speaker 1: the freedom to know that I could go to work
Speaker 1: every day and not work with people that I don't
Speaker 1: like or you know, like be challenged in a positive
Speaker 1: way rather than feeling like I'm being attacked all the
Speaker 1: time or whatever. And then you look back on all
Speaker 1: these jobs that you've had and you go, wow, I
Speaker 1: thought that I was so happy at the time, but
Speaker 1: I wasn't. And you spend more time at your job
Speaker 1: than you do with your family.
Speaker 2: Doing anything else in it.
Speaker 1: Yes, So I just I think that now knowing that
Speaker 1: we have the freedom to do crazy things like go
Speaker 1: and film the Quantus video and you know, like that
Speaker 1: you know that I'm sitting here with you today and
Speaker 1: this is worklack. I just I'm very very lucky. But
Speaker 1: I think to have gone through all of that, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't appreciate what I have now as much if I
Speaker 1: hadn't had to kind of really figure it out. If
Speaker 1: that makes sense, Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2: And I think it's so interesting how you can visibly
Speaker 2: see looking back, like it only makes sense in retrospect,
Speaker 2: but looking at each chapter, you can see how your
Speaker 2: metrics for what you thought, whether you thought that was
Speaker 2: good or not, have changed. And it's almost like and
Speaker 2: I'm sure it's still there, but that whole like am
Speaker 2: I there yet? The whole itchy feet thing? It's almost
Speaker 2: seems like it's settled down a lot because you are there, yeah,
Speaker 2: and you're sort of like, I can just enjoy being
Speaker 2: here now, I'm not like itchy for the next thing,
Speaker 2: because often that itch is only because you're someone where
Speaker 2: you you don't want to be anymore, yep. And it
Speaker 2: kind of it calms down a bit when you're like,
Speaker 2: this is actually this is ticking the boxes, like, yes,
Speaker 2: is it? And it might worry too much about tomorrow?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think as well, knowing that it's not
Speaker 1: everyone's end point, like this is what I'm doing at
Speaker 1: the moment is someone's worst nightmare, but yeah, other people
Speaker 1: are doing is my worst? You know, Like, I think
Speaker 1: there are so many different ways of looking at it.
Speaker 1: And as you were saying, well for about the metrics
Speaker 1: of success and just realizing that just because somebody else
Speaker 1: has a lot of money doesn't mean they're happy, vice versa.
Speaker 1: You know, there's so many ways of looking at it.
Speaker 1: But knowing that now, I just feel like all the
Speaker 1: things that I thought really mattered are actually not as
Speaker 1: important to how I feel about life now. That's quite
Speaker 1: cool and very freeing, like because I was I think
Speaker 1: I said this in the book. I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: my life will be so much easier and I feel
Speaker 1: so much more confident If I have ten thousand followers
Speaker 1: on Instagram, it actually means fucking nothing. It doesn't mean
Speaker 1: any like once you get there and then you go, oh,
Speaker 1: there's always something else. And I was always comparing myself
Speaker 1: to other people, being like, oh, well they must be
Speaker 1: funnier than me because you know they've got XYZ opportunity
Speaker 1: and whatever. But like it didn't you know, someone else
Speaker 1: being good at something doesn't mean that you're bad at it. True,
Speaker 1: but it's so easy to especially now with Instagram and everything,
Speaker 1: like it's so easy to just always compare yourself to
Speaker 1: where other people are at. But you know, they might
Speaker 1: look happy, but they might not be. Yeah, And not
Speaker 1: that I would ever wish that on anybody, but like
Speaker 1: I think it's interesting and important to keep perspective of
Speaker 1: that stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, and realize what your happiness is tied to,
Speaker 2: and like letting go of tying it to some of
Speaker 2: those things, realizing that that actually it not that like
Speaker 2: money and metrics aren't important because we wouldn't have our
Speaker 2: careers if we didn't think about it to an extent.
Speaker 2: And yeah, it's easier to say it when things going well. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it's not. It doesn't equal happiness, like you've got
Speaker 2: to find it in other places. And it's interesting. There
Speaker 2: was a paragraph, I think towards the end where you
Speaker 2: were like, we've had so much success, Like the stats
Speaker 2: on Tony and Ryan and then on the book as
Speaker 2: well are astronomical, like it's one of the best performing
Speaker 2: shows in the country. There's like the stats on each video,
Speaker 2: like it's huge, the followers, you've a mass, the likes
Speaker 2: you've got. But it's funny that you were saying those
Speaker 2: particular parts of it they allow what you do now,
Speaker 2: but they didn't actually make much of a dramatic difference
Speaker 2: to your day to day Like those aren't there that Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know that change much. You're like, okay, cool, we've
Speaker 2: achieved those milestones. But that's not the bit that makes
Speaker 2: you happy. It's what it allows. It's a community you've
Speaker 2: grown and the conversations you can have now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like that stuff is all yeah, it's
Speaker 1: all important and obviously yeah allows me to do what
Speaker 1: I do. But I think that I was like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: when I get that, I'll be fine. But then it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: well you get that, like keep growing and that's the
Speaker 1: next metric. Yeah, And then instead of that scaring me,
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, like, let's reach more people. Let's you know,
Speaker 1: how are more people going to listen? And I think
Speaker 1: as well, just acknowledging that if you really want to
Speaker 1: be rich, that's actually fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a metrics.
Speaker 1: If the thing that you want to do is be
Speaker 1: rich as fuck, then do it. Yeah. Like and I
Speaker 1: think there's so many, you know, such a stigma of
Speaker 1: being like, oh you want to be rich, Like well
Speaker 1: if you do, but that's actually like that's fine. It
Speaker 1: might be your metric. You might be doing something else.
Speaker 1: It might be like I just really want to buy
Speaker 1: my own home or whatever, but like if you want
Speaker 1: to do that, things like do it, but just own it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, or don't yeah, or don't realize that that's
Speaker 2: not the thing that makes Yeah, I know what you mean, Like,
Speaker 2: don't make it your b all and end or but
Speaker 2: if that is your old metric, then like that's fine
Speaker 2: for it. Yeah, if it's not your metric, don't spend
Speaker 2: your life chasing it exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you feel famous now? Like when was the moment
Speaker 2: when you thought, oh my god, I'm actually like fucking
Speaker 2: famous because in.
Speaker 1: The Bull not fucking famous.
Speaker 2: It was that your vagina was recognized.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, at the moment that was pretty terrifying.
Speaker 2: Imagine it, like, yes, I am Tony Long, thank you
Speaker 2: my left flack.
Speaker 1: Who Oh, that's a weird one. It's a weird question,
Speaker 1: and it.
Speaker 2: Is such a weird question and it's such an ick.
Speaker 2: But also because you talk about a lot in the
Speaker 2: book that you.
Speaker 1: Went to when you were younger, I do I think
Speaker 1: you know when something happens really slowly, like the frog
Speaker 1: in a potter boiling, Like if you put a frog
Speaker 1: in a pot of boiling water, it'll jump straight out.
Speaker 1: But if you put it in slow and like heat
Speaker 1: it up slowly, you know it just like it gets
Speaker 1: used to it, I feel like because it kind of
Speaker 1: happened quickly, but like in a you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's deadily gradual over a short amount of time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it wasn't as if one day I walked outside
Speaker 1: and there was like a thousand paparazzi at my door
Speaker 1: and that's still not the case. Yeah my god, they're
Speaker 1: outside right now.
Speaker 2: I call the dail and was like, it's gonna be
Speaker 2: inframed today.
Speaker 1: But but I think it's probably more just that, like
Speaker 1: we have people every single day, like joining our Facebook
Speaker 1: group and your messaging on Instagram being like just found
Speaker 1: you guys. Going back through the catalog, love the pod
Speaker 1: so much. That stuff is like so cool and I
Speaker 1: can't believe that people are finding it. But probably the
Speaker 1: very cool like box Tick moment the billboard, Oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's so cool. It was what the fuck?
Speaker 1: I'm just like then my face was just up there.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh okay. And it was in Perth.
Speaker 1: So that's why I grew up. So all these people
Speaker 1: like I went to school in Uni, we and my
Speaker 1: family and we're like, oh my god, I've seen a thing.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, how weird. You know. That was
Speaker 1: a real That was fucking cool. I'm not even going
Speaker 1: to play that down. That was so cool. That was terrible.
Speaker 2: So I haven't spent that much time on tap the
Speaker 2: Tony and Ryan Show, guys, in case you didn't want that, man,
Speaker 2: because it's one of the things that it's easy to
Speaker 2: get access to the show, Like people often meet you
Speaker 2: at this chapter and you know, I like to spend
Speaker 2: time and stuff that it doesn't get as much airtime.
Speaker 2: But I do want to ask you before we go,
Speaker 2: what is it like working so closely with your work husband? Like,
Speaker 2: what are your favorite things about Ryan? I've asked him
Speaker 2: these questions about you too, it because we're fellow adoptees,
Speaker 2: by the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is so interesting, right.
Speaker 2: So we've been trying to do his episode for probably
Speaker 2: even longer than you and I think to do. So
Speaker 2: he's going to add these about you. I like that,
Speaker 2: But favorite things about working with him and biggest like
Speaker 2: x or pet peeves about working with him.
Speaker 1: He's always late, which I hate. Is he always fucking late?
Speaker 1: Always so busy?
Speaker 2: I'm like, how's he fit that all in?
Speaker 1: I know, how does he fit in being late? I
Speaker 1: know it's very impressive. He Honestly, I think it's very
Speaker 1: easy to be like but he is a really great
Speaker 1: guy and he's the biggest champion of me, and he's
Speaker 1: made me learn so much about like like that his
Speaker 1: success is my success and vice versa. And so when,
Speaker 1: for example, when I got off with the book, I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, like, it's probably going to take up
Speaker 1: a bit of my time. Do you mind? He was like, Tony,
Speaker 1: of course you have to do that. Like he's very supportive,
Speaker 1: and I guess a bit like you were saying before
Speaker 1: working a real challenge was that we met working in radio.
Speaker 1: So we were just friends, like probably not even really
Speaker 1: friends at first, like we just worked in the same building.
Speaker 1: We said hey to each other, like you know, it
Speaker 1: was just chill. And then all of a sudden, not
Speaker 1: only were we friends, we were business partners and we
Speaker 1: were you know, organized, like we've recently hired someone, so
Speaker 1: we're now managing a person. It's very exciting, you know.
Speaker 1: So we're managing a person, we're running a business. We
Speaker 1: like have to you know, go from being like funny
Speaker 1: and talking about soap up our ums to being like cool,
Speaker 1: did you did you like pay rent? And did you
Speaker 1: you know, like Oh my god, have you took to
Speaker 1: the accountant about XYZ? You know, it's like working on
Speaker 1: a relationship. All yeah, and it's probably the hardest I've
Speaker 1: ever had to work at a relationship before. We communicate
Speaker 1: quite differently as well. I'm a very I'm a talk
Speaker 1: but like I'm a talker, I'm a debriefer, like I
Speaker 1: like a lot of information. I like really talking things out.
Speaker 1: Whereas if I'm said to him, like if he said
Speaker 1: to me, like, cool, so we should hire someone, I'm well,
Speaker 1: let's think about the pros and cons. But if I
Speaker 1: said to him, should be higher someone, he'd go, oh,
Speaker 1: if you reckon, yep, just do it. Yeah, Like he's
Speaker 1: very like, yep, like do it now, figure it out later.
Speaker 2: Yeahs.
Speaker 1: I'm the opposite about it. Yeah, I'm like a permission asker. Yeah.
Speaker 2: One really sweet thing he said about you, which is
Speaker 2: a strength and a downfall at the same time, was
Speaker 2: that you if I said to you, Babe, I can
Speaker 2: only do the podcast at two am and it's going
Speaker 2: to be in Mars, you'd be like, I will bend
Speaker 2: over backwards to be there. Like you're a real over deliverer,
Speaker 2: Like you're very like you you're a beautiful people pleaser,
Speaker 2: and I'm the same. I just like, no, it's not
Speaker 2: my strength.
Speaker 1: No, but it's really it's so hard because now I
Speaker 1: am so busy. Yeah, I have to flex those muscles
Speaker 1: a bit more than I've ever had to, and that's
Speaker 1: I find that really hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like literally, whenever anyone dms me with a go fund me,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I can't share it, but I just
Speaker 1: donate myself, like it's costume me a fortune. But I'm
Speaker 1: the same.
Speaker 2: It's like he would be or like Nick would say
Speaker 2: to me, you know there's a third option, like don't
Speaker 2: do any of those things. But I'm like, no, it's
Speaker 2: either all it's like yeah, people please one way or
Speaker 2: people the other way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if the only options are yes, Like for me,
Speaker 1: things are very black and white. I'm like it's yes
Speaker 1: or no. And Ryan's like there is so much gray area,
Speaker 1: like something doesn't have to just be yes or no.
Speaker 1: He's like, explore what else you could do instead? Such
Speaker 1: a good one, which is like such a huge learning
Speaker 1: for me because I'm like, oh, well, if someone says no,
Speaker 1: it's no.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then like end of story. Yeah, here's my
Speaker 2: two hundred dollars I'm donating kid, Yeah, fun because I
Speaker 2: feel that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then I'm just like, oh my god, did
Speaker 1: I donate? Oh no, for too much whatever. But he's
Speaker 1: just like, there are other things that you can say
Speaker 1: to people that is still lovely. Yeah, And people are
Speaker 1: allowed to ask and you're allowed to say no.
Speaker 2: Yeah revolutionary yep.
Speaker 1: When I was like, oh, I feel so rude asking,
Speaker 1: he was like, You're allowed to ask me anything you want,
Speaker 1: but I'm allowed to say no. Yeah. Good, which is when,
Speaker 1: again quite mind blowing, when all of a sudden, you
Speaker 1: realize like, oh, that's people are just asking because that
Speaker 1: is their actual right to say whatever they want to
Speaker 1: ask a question. Yeah. But then if I say no
Speaker 1: and they go okay, that's allowed.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean if they are then unreasonable obviously that's a
Speaker 1: different situation.
Speaker 2: But like, yeah, yeah, it still takes my brain a
Speaker 2: lot to get on that. I'm like, wait, you have
Speaker 2: to ask, like, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: Ye who said that? We got your permission to do that.
Speaker 3: So you guys are now like how much what's the
Speaker 3: workload are you?
Speaker 2: Like? Full time? Tony and Ryan?
Speaker 1: Yeah, like every day recording, so we record. We've got
Speaker 1: a little studio in Richmond.
Speaker 2: It's beautiful by the way, Yeah we love it, like
Speaker 2: it looks so good.
Speaker 1: Yeah we love it. But yes we do that, and
Speaker 1: then we kind of record and are in the studio
Speaker 1: in the beginning of the week and leave the end
Speaker 1: of the week to kind of travel if we need to,
Speaker 1: or take meetings or go out and film big stuff
Speaker 1: like what we've just done with the Quantus video. We
Speaker 1: were traveling at the end of the week to try
Speaker 1: and get everything done. But every week is really different,
Speaker 1: which I love. Yeah, even as like a habit based person,
Speaker 1: it's quite fun knowing that there's always going to be
Speaker 1: something weird that we have to do.
Speaker 2: So one of the things I find with doing a
Speaker 2: job where everything is so much fun and it's really
Speaker 2: easy to blur the lines between work and play because
Speaker 2: it doesn't really feel like work so much of it
Speaker 2: is actually also fun that then you mentioned burnout of
Speaker 2: the start and being a people pleaser, it becomes really
Speaker 2: difficult to actually do anything outside of work because everything
Speaker 2: is like incidentally also helping with your job.
Speaker 1: So oh, you're like, oh, something might pop up, so
Speaker 1: I won't plan that thing because just in case.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and all you sort of like commit to an
Speaker 2: entire weekend of fun stuff that's kind of work, but
Speaker 2: then on the Monday, like, why am I tired? And yeah,
Speaker 2: because you didn't take any time off that would still
Speaker 2: work even if it was fun work. So the last
Speaker 2: section is called plata, which is really just the things
Speaker 2: you do that aren't for work, that aren't like I would,
Speaker 2: you know, listen to a business podcast, but because it
Speaker 2: was a podcast, I was.
Speaker 1: Like like, oh this, Oh I'm honesting like it's.
Speaker 2: Downtime, but it's not at all. So one of them,
Speaker 2: one of the chapters of your book or like little
Speaker 2: sections of things that you love doing that are just
Speaker 2: for fun was things that are my personal equivalent to
Speaker 2: the first bite of a double quarter pounder. So that's
Speaker 2: your equivalent of plata, like the things that just make
Speaker 2: you so happy? A do you make time for those now?
Speaker 2: Like do you have any kind of hobbies that aren't
Speaker 2: audio or media or you know, TV anything related? What
Speaker 2: are they and how do you find happiness now that
Speaker 2: isn't productivity.
Speaker 1: I really struggle with this. This is like a really
Speaker 1: hard because I feel bad about rest because I feel lazy.
Speaker 1: That's definitely like childhood trauma like creeping into my life.
Speaker 1: But recently I just started seeing a trainer, like a
Speaker 1: personal trainer. I saw this and.
Speaker 2: I was like, you're killing it.
Speaker 1: I was like, what's on you. I was like, y'all go,
Speaker 1: like see how it goes. And now I go three
Speaker 1: times a week. It makes me so happy. I like
Speaker 1: look forward and I never thought that I'd be this person,
Speaker 1: but I look forward to it every single day that
Speaker 1: I'm going. I'm like pumped for it. And that is
Speaker 1: something where I don't have my phone on me, Like
Speaker 1: it's literally in a locker in the gym, so not
Speaker 1: like it's not near me at all and I'm just me,
Speaker 1: which I really really like. I also love craft, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I love this. Yeah. So I like have
Speaker 1: like you know those cricket like cutting machines, so it's
Speaker 1: like this like you put in all this stuff and
Speaker 1: it will like cut out whatever you want. It's sick.
Speaker 1: You google it. So I've got that. And I like
Speaker 1: love making like cards and like shit like that, and
Speaker 1: it's kind of pointless and dumb, but I really like it.
Speaker 1: I've got clay, I've got calligraphy pens.
Speaker 2: See, this is my thing all of us need like tactile,
Speaker 2: non digital. Yeah, plays Ta that like you can't multitask
Speaker 2: with Yeah. I feel like that's usually the definition. And
Speaker 2: you can't survive this world being on your phone all
Speaker 2: the time without having something like ours is. We've started
Speaker 2: doing c Z eight events that are Playta events to
Speaker 2: force people into joy and they're all crafty. They're like tufting.
Speaker 2: We did Pino Percasso. Yes, I also need to get
Speaker 2: a cutting out machine because I feel like I want
Speaker 2: to cut out stuff.
Speaker 1: Now you come around, just come over from Yes, it's.
Speaker 3: Craft, yes, arts, and it's kindergarten.
Speaker 1: It's fun. Oh my god. Because I think, like most people,
Speaker 1: my like downtime, very loose use of the term downtime
Speaker 1: was like watching TV and being on my phone or
Speaker 1: scrolling Instagram. And now Instagram is work. Like when I'm
Speaker 1: on Instagram, it's like, oh, I'll just reply to a
Speaker 1: few messages or whatever, and like I really enjoy doing that,
Speaker 1: but it is still your brain's like on, yeah, rather
Speaker 1: than just sitting there and like drooling at the TV,
Speaker 1: you know, which is sometimes lovely.
Speaker 2: That's my downtime.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But then I realized that, like, oh I'm doing that,
Speaker 1: and I'm on Instagram and I'm kind of thinking about
Speaker 1: like being on and doing work stuff. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: I've had to be very creative with like putting my
Speaker 1: phone down and not being part of the you know,
Speaker 1: Gridge what is it Gridge? Yeah, the metrics, I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I found those two things are like, yeah,
Speaker 1: they've really helped. Yeah. I also love getting wet, swimming, swimming, surfing. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, different part of the podcast. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow, i' mean pivot, Yeah, amazing swimming surfing w A Girl,
Speaker 2: Yeah that's beach girl. Yeah. Do you actually miss the weather?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I missed the beach a lot because you
Speaker 1: don't really have beaches in Melbourne. It's like the bay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like there, I used to get really pissed
Speaker 2: off of my w A friends for being like killed
Speaker 2: as like a sewer, and then I went to like
Speaker 2: start spending time at w I was like, yeah, it's
Speaker 2: like a different Yeah.
Speaker 1: I hadn't. I had actually no idea to like.
Speaker 2: Citybach, which is like ten minutes from the city. I
Speaker 2: was like, we're really like it's fine, yeah, okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 2: oh my god. I feel like I could literally talk
Speaker 2: to you for hours and hours an hour, I think
Speaker 2: we did, but I know you're a very busy person.
Speaker 2: So I will wrap up with the very last question,
Speaker 2: which is just what's your favorite quote? If you have one?
Speaker 1: Oh, the only people that judge you are those that
Speaker 1: are doing less. I love that one. It's a Ryan
Speaker 1: John Special. Actually, oh my god. He was like, true,
Speaker 1: if there are people that are being dicks to you,
Speaker 1: it's because they're not doing it. Because it leads into
Speaker 1: the other the Brene Brown quote, and it's like, unless
Speaker 1: someone's in the arena with you, yeah, don't. Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's also I think it's a Roosevelt quote that the
Speaker 2: man the man in the arena one and then same Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's like a long form version. It's like a whole
Speaker 2: page paragraph quote about the only person I will something something. Yet,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm like, the man in the arena
Speaker 2: is the one who's like advice I'll listen to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and yeah, don't take someone's no if you
Speaker 1: wouldn't take their yes as well. Is another one that
Speaker 1: I really like. I love that And I said that
Speaker 1: by accident on someone's podcast, and I was say, is
Speaker 1: that already a quote, and I think it is. But
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, like if somebody wouldn't, if you
Speaker 1: wouldn't take their advice, don't take their criticism.
Speaker 2: Yes, both such good ones.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I gave you about six. You know, I
Speaker 1: love that. I love that.
Speaker 2: It's just like a people please.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I give you seventy five.
Speaker 1: It's the next flip book. That could just be a
Speaker 1: Tony Lodge special. Oh my god, because I just gave
Speaker 1: you like fifty quotes to put in there in this episode,
Speaker 1: it would be cut out like, yeah, maybe their handmade
Speaker 1: Tony Lodge has made all of the We only have
Speaker 1: five in stock, and there's six hundred.
Speaker 3: Dollars each.
Speaker 2: Take a year in production.
Speaker 1: But if you order now even than seven.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much, my love. You've been amazing.
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: Make sure to put the links to the book and
Speaker 2: the show in the show notes.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: Yay. Oh I am actually obsessed with Tony even more
Speaker 2: than I was before, if that's possible. The laughter in
Speaker 2: this hour was so good for my soul, and I
Speaker 2: hope it was for yours too. As always, if you
Speaker 2: enjoyed listening along, pretty please share some neighborhood love for
Speaker 2: the episode and for Tony herself, tagging her at Tony Lodge,
Speaker 2: No Spaces, no Underscores to thank her for so generously
Speaker 2: giving her time and energy to us all. And the
Speaker 2: link to buy her brilliant book is in the show notes.
Speaker 2: As I mentioned, I've actually decided, just as I'm recording
Speaker 2: right now, to give away a copy of each book
Speaker 2: whose author we have on the show to the best
Speaker 2: share each week, which I should have been doing all
Speaker 2: this time, and I think I've done maybe once or twice,
Speaker 2: but I feel like I should do it every single time,
Speaker 2: So do get sharing away and I will announce next
Speaker 2: week in the meantime, And has returned home to the country,
Speaker 2: which you probably all all already know because her presence
Speaker 2: can be felt miles away and you just need to
Speaker 2: check out her socials to know that she's back causing chaos.
Speaker 2: So get ready for some more absolute chits and giggles
Speaker 2: again in your next episode, where we'll catch up on
Speaker 2: everything we've both been up to. I hope you're having
Speaker 2: a fabulous week and are seizing your yay