WEBVTT - Just Friends 0:00:10.888 --> 0:00:15.528 You're listening to Amma mea podcast Muma Mer acknowledges the 0:00:15.568 --> 0:00:18.768 traditional owners of the land and waters. This podcast is 0:00:18.808 --> 0:00:28.488 recorded on We spend a lot of time talking and 0:00:28.528 --> 0:00:32.808 thinking about romantic relationships, searching for and finding that one 0:00:32.848 --> 0:00:36.048 person who'll enrich your life, who'll choose you and only 0:00:36.088 --> 0:00:39.728 you even change your last name. But what about friendships, 0:00:39.928 --> 0:00:42.808 Those deep, unbreakable bonds, the ones who make your life 0:00:42.848 --> 0:00:46.568 better without the strings attached, Those soulmate level best friends. 0:00:46.848 --> 0:00:49.048 They're the person you call with good news, the one 0:00:49.088 --> 0:00:51.248 you laugh and cry with, the one you run to 0:00:51.368 --> 0:00:54.488 when your heart is broken. They know your secrets, your history, 0:00:54.648 --> 0:00:57.968 your dreams, every side and every version of you. You 0:00:58.048 --> 0:01:01.048 just couldn't imagine life without them, But you don't have to, 0:01:01.168 --> 0:01:03.648 because you know through all of life's ups and downs, 0:01:03.688 --> 0:01:06.408 the good times and the bad, they'll always be there, 0:01:06.968 --> 0:01:20.368 won't they. I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has 0:01:20.408 --> 0:01:23.088 an ex best Friend. Come with me as we dive 0:01:23.168 --> 0:01:26.568 into a collection of stories about friendships past through the 0:01:26.608 --> 0:01:29.167 eyes and the hearts of the very people who lived them. 0:01:30.168 --> 0:01:33.048 There's something about being twenty years old. You're no longer 0:01:33.087 --> 0:01:35.728 a teenager, but you're not quite an adult. Either, it's 0:01:35.728 --> 0:01:38.568 that strange in between stage when you're figuring out who 0:01:38.568 --> 0:01:41.888 you are, learning how to navigate work, independence, and all 0:01:41.928 --> 0:01:45.048 the responsibilities that come with growing up. It's also the 0:01:45.048 --> 0:01:47.728 time when your friends are your whole world. They're at 0:01:47.728 --> 0:01:52.208 the center of everything, every weekend, every celebration, every heartbreak, 0:01:52.328 --> 0:01:55.448 in every big life decision. And for Amanda, her friends 0:01:55.448 --> 0:01:58.048 weren't just part of her life, they were her life. 0:01:58.528 --> 0:02:03.368 I moved out a home and was flatting with some friends, 0:02:03.448 --> 0:02:08.128 and through them met a group of about six of us. 0:02:08.208 --> 0:02:13.168 I'd say that really came that core, pivotal friendship group 0:02:14.088 --> 0:02:18.127 that I just spent every waking minute with in the 0:02:18.168 --> 0:02:20.847 sharehouse that I was living. I was also living with 0:02:20.848 --> 0:02:24.928 my fiance at the time, Andrew. Andrew and I were 0:02:25.008 --> 0:02:29.168 high school sweethearts. We met in year eight, and we 0:02:29.248 --> 0:02:32.007 had been together ever since. We kind of got engaged 0:02:32.048 --> 0:02:34.328 as soon as we finished high school, but we had 0:02:34.407 --> 0:02:38.407 just been each other's whole world. I'd never had any 0:02:38.407 --> 0:02:41.608 other boyfriends. I'd never had any other guys kind of 0:02:41.648 --> 0:02:45.528 asked me out because wherever I was Andrew was, I 0:02:45.568 --> 0:02:47.488 didn't really have any friends of my own. All of 0:02:47.528 --> 0:02:49.768 my friends were our friends when all of his friends 0:02:49.848 --> 0:02:53.848 were our friends. There was never an Amanda without Andrew. 0:02:54.168 --> 0:02:58.328 There was never Andrew without Amanda. Our relationship was so 0:02:58.488 --> 0:03:01.208 kind of pivotal, I think to the friendship group as well. 0:03:01.728 --> 0:03:05.808 We were the people who had Eventually, when we moved 0:03:05.808 --> 0:03:08.648 out of the sharehouse that we were in initially with 0:03:08.728 --> 0:03:12.328 a couple of the friends, we moved into our own apartment, 0:03:12.768 --> 0:03:17.368 and it was our house that everybody came normally to 0:03:17.528 --> 0:03:20.168 kind of gather at several times a week. That would 0:03:20.168 --> 0:03:23.048 be where most of the barbecues and the parties would start. 0:03:23.088 --> 0:03:25.048 It was at our place. 0:03:25.608 --> 0:03:28.448 It was one of those friendship groups where everyone just clicked, 0:03:28.608 --> 0:03:31.368 a mix of men and women, all equally close or 0:03:31.448 --> 0:03:35.128 completely comfortable with one another, and before long another person 0:03:35.248 --> 0:03:37.688 joined their close fold. His name was Dave. 0:03:38.328 --> 0:03:41.928 So Dave joined the friendship group through one of those 0:03:42.888 --> 0:03:46.208 kind of blendings of two disparate friendship groups. He was 0:03:46.248 --> 0:03:48.808 a longtime friend of one of mine and Andrew's long 0:03:48.888 --> 0:03:51.088 term friends, and so he kind of got introduced to 0:03:51.168 --> 0:03:55.288 us at at a party, and he was just such 0:03:55.328 --> 0:03:59.888 a nice guy. Some of the other particularly the men 0:04:00.328 --> 0:04:03.528 in the group, were really loud and outrageous and just 0:04:04.448 --> 0:04:08.568 out of this world, and Dave wasn't like that. He 0:04:08.688 --> 0:04:13.208 was just really chill and relaxed, sort of quiet, and 0:04:13.248 --> 0:04:15.768 because of that, everybody just really liked having him around. 0:04:15.768 --> 0:04:19.047 He was always good for a chat, no matter what 0:04:19.087 --> 0:04:21.527 you wanted to do. He was always keen for it, 0:04:21.608 --> 0:04:25.527 but he was never in your face annoying. So he 0:04:25.648 --> 0:04:29.328 kind of came to a few gatherings and then it 0:04:29.448 --> 0:04:32.448 just became the case that he was part of the 0:04:32.488 --> 0:04:37.968 core group. There was eight of us including Andrew in 0:04:38.008 --> 0:04:42.608 the group, including Dave, and some of us had known 0:04:42.607 --> 0:04:45.847 each other for like, really really long periods of time. 0:04:45.928 --> 0:04:47.568 Dave had known a couple of people in the group 0:04:48.408 --> 0:04:51.807 through high school. I had known a couple of other 0:04:51.847 --> 0:04:54.288 people for you know, a long time as well, because 0:04:55.008 --> 0:04:58.688 I'd shared flat kind of share accommodation situation with them 0:04:58.688 --> 0:05:01.168 and their family. So there was a lot of history 0:05:02.327 --> 0:05:05.128 in the group. It would be quite the norm for 0:05:05.207 --> 0:05:07.408 us to kind of catch up for like a barbecue 0:05:07.408 --> 0:05:09.327 on a Thursday night, and then see each other again 0:05:09.448 --> 0:05:11.208 for like card game on Friday night and end up 0:05:11.207 --> 0:05:14.168 at the nightclubs, and then we would have a party 0:05:14.207 --> 0:05:15.968 Saturday night and probably end up at the pub again 0:05:16.008 --> 0:05:17.648 and then we'd probably end up at the pub on 0:05:18.008 --> 0:05:20.688 Sunday as well. So there was a lot of interaction, 0:05:21.008 --> 0:05:26.688 a lot of joviality, like very silly, outrageous kind of behavior, 0:05:26.727 --> 0:05:32.328 and Dave was always in it. But peripherally, he was 0:05:32.408 --> 0:05:34.848 just such a nice guy to have around and he 0:05:34.967 --> 0:05:36.008 was just always there. 0:05:36.528 --> 0:05:39.528 He was just every girl's ideal best friend. 0:05:39.768 --> 0:05:42.488 Dave was the kind of friend everyone wanted in their corner, 0:05:42.607 --> 0:05:44.728 the guy who'd always top up your drink, hand you 0:05:44.768 --> 0:05:46.968 his jacket when you were cold, and be your biggest 0:05:47.048 --> 0:05:49.968 cheerleader when life got tough. So when Amanda needed a 0:05:50.008 --> 0:05:53.408 helping hand to achieve a personal goal, Dave didn't hesitate. 0:05:53.967 --> 0:05:57.888 I was trying to lose a bit of weight and 0:05:58.688 --> 0:06:00.407 Dave was right into the gym, and I kind of 0:06:00.408 --> 0:06:02.527 wanted to get into the gym, but it's a bit 0:06:03.688 --> 0:06:05.568 it's a bit of a frightening experience setting your foot 0:06:05.568 --> 0:06:08.488 in there the first time. And during one of our 0:06:08.568 --> 0:06:12.848 chats a party, I mentioned him like, I want to 0:06:12.847 --> 0:06:13.847 go to the gym and I just don't know how 0:06:13.847 --> 0:06:15.967 to get into it, and he offered to take me 0:06:17.087 --> 0:06:18.848 and show me how to do it, and I was 0:06:18.928 --> 0:06:19.808 kind of embarrassed. 0:06:20.168 --> 0:06:21.768 Particularly kind of going to the gym with a guy. 0:06:22.488 --> 0:06:24.407 But he assured me that he would show me how 0:06:24.448 --> 0:06:25.767 to use all the equipment and take care of me, 0:06:25.808 --> 0:06:26.288 and he did. 0:06:26.648 --> 0:06:28.728 I was really nervous stepping. 0:06:28.368 --> 0:06:32.127 Onto the weights room floor with all these big guys there, 0:06:32.128 --> 0:06:36.488 but he religiously every afternoon after work would take me 0:06:36.528 --> 0:06:37.807 to the gym and show me how to use the 0:06:37.847 --> 0:06:39.808 things and introduce me to a lot of people. And 0:06:40.488 --> 0:06:45.527 pretty soon I was getting right into training weights, and 0:06:45.768 --> 0:06:47.728 I kind of fell in love with doing the classes. 0:06:47.768 --> 0:06:49.488 And he would come to the classes with me, like 0:06:49.488 --> 0:06:52.128 he would come and do like pump and step with me, 0:06:52.248 --> 0:06:54.888 and then we'd go out and train weights, and it 0:06:54.888 --> 0:06:57.087 turned into a real thing. We got this real routine, 0:06:57.128 --> 0:07:00.288 like Saturday mornings, we'd go to the gym, do a 0:07:00.288 --> 0:07:02.167 couple of classes, and then we'd go to the cafe 0:07:02.207 --> 0:07:04.647 next door and get a coffee and a toasted sandwich 0:07:04.768 --> 0:07:07.288 and then go back to the gym and do another class, 0:07:07.327 --> 0:07:10.088 and then we'd go and have a shower and get 0:07:10.088 --> 0:07:11.768 ready and then we'd be off to whatever party we 0:07:11.768 --> 0:07:13.288 were going to. So that was sort of what really 0:07:13.328 --> 0:07:19.208 cemented the friendship. It did eventually become that if you 0:07:19.248 --> 0:07:22.727 saw Amanda, you saw Dave. He was the first person 0:07:22.727 --> 0:07:26.728 that I would invite anywhere because he was just al 0:07:26.727 --> 0:07:29.488 ways up for it, and I just knew that no 0:07:29.568 --> 0:07:31.768 matter what we did, we'd have a good time. 0:07:32.128 --> 0:07:34.408 At this point, you're probably thinking, well, hang on, what 0:07:34.408 --> 0:07:37.208 did Andrew make of all this? Well, I'm glad you asked. 0:07:37.448 --> 0:07:40.288 Andrew and I had very different interests, which is I 0:07:40.288 --> 0:07:43.688 think natural when you get together so young. I really 0:07:43.727 --> 0:07:45.608 liked going out and doing things and hanging out with 0:07:45.648 --> 0:07:49.448 people and finding adventures. So he enjoyed things like gaming 0:07:49.528 --> 0:07:54.088 and playing the PlayStation, and he really liked sleeping in 0:07:54.208 --> 0:07:58.328 all day, and so where I was kind of trying 0:07:58.328 --> 0:08:04.248 to connect with Andrew and spend time with him, he 0:08:05.008 --> 0:08:09.848 kind of wasn't always keen to do those things. And 0:08:09.928 --> 0:08:14.128 what I had in Dave was someone who was instantly 0:08:14.168 --> 0:08:17.328 no questions, asked, keen to just do whatever I wanted 0:08:17.368 --> 0:08:20.528 to do. And so it would often be the case 0:08:20.528 --> 0:08:23.968 that we'd be off doing things and we would arrive 0:08:24.048 --> 0:08:26.328 at the party or the barbecue together later when everyone 0:08:26.368 --> 0:08:29.728 else was already there and settled, because we'd been off 0:08:29.727 --> 0:08:32.727 having our own adventures. I do recall a couple of 0:08:32.768 --> 0:08:36.528 times where there were jokes like Dave and I would 0:08:36.688 --> 0:08:40.568 walk into the barbecue or the card game whatever a 0:08:40.607 --> 0:08:42.368 little bit late because we've been off doing something. 0:08:43.248 --> 0:08:44.568 And there were jokes like. 0:08:45.368 --> 0:08:49.368 Ah, here's an Andrew and a boyfriend. But there was 0:08:49.448 --> 0:08:53.408 such laughter around those jokes, and they were saying in 0:08:53.448 --> 0:08:58.968 front of Andrew, I only had eyes for Andrew. I 0:08:59.008 --> 0:09:04.128 didn't see anyone else. And he was such an invested 0:09:04.168 --> 0:09:09.168 friend for Andrew as well that I was just so 0:09:09.288 --> 0:09:12.968 comfortable that I wasn't doing anything that was disrespectful of my. 0:09:14.528 --> 0:09:15.368 Relationship. 0:09:16.328 --> 0:09:19.968 Dave never invited me to do anything without inviting Andrew. 0:09:20.528 --> 0:09:24.808 I never invited Dave to do anything without inviting Andrew. 0:09:24.808 --> 0:09:28.048 There was never any secrecy. 0:09:28.368 --> 0:09:33.168 There was never any conversations that were kept secret, truly, 0:09:33.368 --> 0:09:36.448 no different to a girlfriend. Andrew would often say, I 0:09:36.488 --> 0:09:39.288 don't want to do that, that sounds boring. Dave will 0:09:39.328 --> 0:09:42.128 go with you. I've always had a lot of male friends. 0:09:42.448 --> 0:09:44.528 Always a lot of the group that I hung around 0:09:44.568 --> 0:09:47.328 with were men. I have never seen that there really 0:09:47.408 --> 0:09:50.088 needed to be a difference between male and female friends, 0:09:50.128 --> 0:09:52.728 particularly when it was well known that I was in 0:09:52.768 --> 0:09:57.088 a relationship. There was no secrecy. He knew the partner. 0:09:57.688 --> 0:10:02.448 Dave never had any partners when we were friends, but 0:10:02.688 --> 0:10:08.088 there were no secrets about my relationship and how much 0:10:08.128 --> 0:10:10.968 I wanted it to work. He spent a lot of 0:10:10.968 --> 0:10:13.568 time telling me that he really wanted to settle down 0:10:13.568 --> 0:10:18.928 and meet someone and have kids and find that perfect partner. 0:10:19.568 --> 0:10:21.288 It was just a really open exchange of information. It 0:10:21.328 --> 0:10:23.248 was exactly the same as you would with a girlfriend. 0:10:24.248 --> 0:10:26.248 So there you have a dear listeners, men and women 0:10:26.368 --> 0:10:29.008 really can be just friends, even when one of them 0:10:29.048 --> 0:10:31.928 is engaged. Yep, you heard it here first. But what 0:10:32.048 --> 0:10:34.448 probably won't come as much of a surprise as this. 0:10:34.848 --> 0:10:37.448 By the time Amanda was twenty three, she'd well and 0:10:37.488 --> 0:10:40.448 truly outgrown the small town she'd always called home. She 0:10:40.528 --> 0:10:43.848 was ready for bigger cities, bigger opportunities, at a fresh start. 0:10:44.048 --> 0:10:45.727 It was time to spread her wings. 0:10:46.208 --> 0:10:48.608 I loved my friends, I had a good job, but 0:10:48.728 --> 0:10:52.288 I just I wanted something else, and so I said 0:10:52.288 --> 0:10:54.928 to Andrew that I wanted to move. I wanted to 0:10:54.968 --> 0:10:57.968 get a job in a capital city and move away 0:10:58.168 --> 0:11:00.328 and give that a go. And Andrew said that he 0:11:00.368 --> 0:11:02.128 was on board, and we were making all his plans. 0:11:02.128 --> 0:11:06.248 We were applying for jobs and looking for rental houses, 0:11:06.288 --> 0:11:10.288 and Dave was helping me is he was really keen. 0:11:10.328 --> 0:11:12.168 He said he would be sad for me to leave, 0:11:12.248 --> 0:11:15.568 but he wanted me to do what would make me happy. 0:11:15.608 --> 0:11:18.608 So applying for all these jobs, and I packed up 0:11:18.608 --> 0:11:21.088 and I moved away to the Big Smoke. And the 0:11:21.128 --> 0:11:23.448 plan was that Andrew kind of had to stay for 0:11:23.608 --> 0:11:25.368 a couple of weeks to a month to pack up 0:11:25.368 --> 0:11:27.528 our house and get everything sorted, and he would come 0:11:27.568 --> 0:11:33.328 to and I think maybe that bit of time away 0:11:33.408 --> 0:11:36.368 from each other made a bit of a difference, And 0:11:37.128 --> 0:11:39.727 you know, the three to four weeks that Andrew was 0:11:39.728 --> 0:11:41.727 going to need to pack up, the rest of our 0:11:42.968 --> 0:11:47.648 life kind of started to extend out. And I was 0:11:47.648 --> 0:11:49.808 actually not disappointed by that. I was having a great 0:11:49.808 --> 0:11:51.528 time in the Big Smoke. I had this great job, 0:11:51.568 --> 0:11:54.808 I was meeting new friends. I still kept in touch 0:11:54.848 --> 0:11:57.808 with Dave incessantly. We would chat every night on MSN, 0:11:57.928 --> 0:12:00.248 or we'd call each other, and we got a real 0:12:00.288 --> 0:12:04.487 kick out of sending each other emails. And so I 0:12:04.568 --> 0:12:07.088 kind of knew what Andrew was doing back home because 0:12:07.088 --> 0:12:08.528 he was still hanging out with Dave and the rest 0:12:08.568 --> 0:12:15.968 of our friends. But that timeline for him moving really extended, 0:12:15.968 --> 0:12:19.088 and I didn't push it, and it got to the 0:12:19.088 --> 0:12:23.288 point where we both mutually came to the realization that 0:12:23.408 --> 0:12:27.728 neither one of us wanted the other to be in 0:12:27.768 --> 0:12:28.688 their life anymore. 0:12:28.968 --> 0:12:31.488 And of course, the first person she confided in was 0:12:31.528 --> 0:12:32.248 her best friend. 0:12:32.488 --> 0:12:35.608 I called him one Saturday after the gym. We always 0:12:35.608 --> 0:12:37.648 spoke after the gym on Saturday. He'd go to his 0:12:37.728 --> 0:12:39.288 gym back home and I'd go to mine and we'd 0:12:39.328 --> 0:12:41.448 catch up and talk about what we did. And I 0:12:41.448 --> 0:12:43.368 called him and said, look, Andrew and I spoke last one. 0:12:43.448 --> 0:12:46.288 We've decided that he's not going to move here now. 0:12:47.008 --> 0:12:50.328 And he was just so great about it. He really 0:12:50.368 --> 0:12:52.208 went to great lengths to kind of say to me 0:12:53.448 --> 0:12:55.488 that it was going to be hard for the friendship 0:12:55.528 --> 0:12:58.368 group and people might feel like they had to choose 0:12:59.168 --> 0:13:01.248 between us, or maybe they'd feel like they had to 0:13:01.328 --> 0:13:03.408 choose neither of us and just kind of back off. 0:13:03.448 --> 0:13:06.288 But he just kept saying, Amanda, don't you worry, you're 0:13:06.328 --> 0:13:07.608 my best friend. I'm going to choose you. 0:13:08.328 --> 0:13:11.608 That immediately put Amanda at ease. Breaking up with Andrew 0:13:11.808 --> 0:13:14.608 was huge life change, but one of her biggest fears 0:13:14.648 --> 0:13:17.408 was that she'd lose her close friends too. Hearing Dave 0:13:17.448 --> 0:13:20.088 reassure her brought an overwhelming sense of relief. 0:13:20.408 --> 0:13:22.968 No matter what happened, he was going to continue to 0:13:22.968 --> 0:13:26.648 be my best friend, irrespective of whether anyone else in 0:13:26.648 --> 0:13:30.768 the friendship group had decided to either choose Andrew or 0:13:30.808 --> 0:13:33.128 to just choose neither of us, which would be quite 0:13:33.128 --> 0:13:35.768 a reasonable thing to do for me. I was really 0:13:35.848 --> 0:13:41.368 reliant on Dave at that time. I would call him 0:13:41.728 --> 0:13:44.048 after work or we'd get home and chat on MSN. 0:13:44.648 --> 0:13:48.048 He came to visit a few times and we'd just 0:13:48.128 --> 0:13:50.768 kind of hang out for a few days, going to 0:13:50.808 --> 0:13:53.328 the gym and stuff, and it would be just like 0:13:53.328 --> 0:13:57.888 it was back home, to have that one person who 0:13:57.968 --> 0:14:00.487 was still willing to kind of talk to me and 0:14:00.568 --> 0:14:03.088 making an effort. And it wasn't the fact that I 0:14:03.088 --> 0:14:04.808 didn't live there wasn't too hard. 0:14:05.328 --> 0:14:08.608 I was so happy to have him there. 0:14:08.648 --> 0:14:10.727 It was a real highlight every week, kind of catching 0:14:10.808 --> 0:14:13.928 up on the phone, hearing about what each of us 0:14:13.928 --> 0:14:17.368 had been doing. I was sad, but I had this 0:14:17.768 --> 0:14:22.808 real sense of freedom, and so I was out and 0:14:22.808 --> 0:14:24.848 I was going out with my new friends in the 0:14:24.888 --> 0:14:28.488 new town and having new adventures, and I felt so 0:14:28.888 --> 0:14:31.248 proud of myself going out and doing these things on 0:14:31.288 --> 0:14:33.728 my own and then going and telling Dave about them, 0:14:33.728 --> 0:14:35.488 and he was so supportive, and he's like, oh, you're 0:14:35.528 --> 0:14:35.848 the best. 0:14:35.888 --> 0:14:36.648 That sounds so fun. 0:14:36.648 --> 0:14:37.808 I'm going to come and visit and you're going to 0:14:37.848 --> 0:14:40.168 take me to all these places and show me at 0:14:40.208 --> 0:14:41.568 least seemed to be doing. I can't wait to meet 0:14:41.608 --> 0:14:44.368 all your friends. I feel like I kind of grew 0:14:44.448 --> 0:14:45.848 up a lot. 0:14:46.048 --> 0:14:49.608 And growing up meant navigating single life, something Amanda hadn't 0:14:49.648 --> 0:14:51.808 had to do before, like ever. 0:14:52.248 --> 0:14:54.368 Because I'd been with Andrew for such a long time. 0:14:55.048 --> 0:14:59.688 I'm really just, you know, at this point, totally clueless 0:15:00.728 --> 0:15:08.848 about men. I'd never really been hit on or approached 0:15:09.008 --> 0:15:13.208 by other men, so I didn't really know. 0:15:14.848 --> 0:15:17.208 What that would look like or feel like. 0:15:18.288 --> 0:15:22.608 So there were a number of situations where I would 0:15:22.608 --> 0:15:24.808 have my new friends in my new town saying to me, 0:15:25.168 --> 0:15:28.568 I was hitting on you, and I'd just blown it by. 0:15:30.048 --> 0:15:31.848 Being completely oblivious. 0:15:32.368 --> 0:15:34.728 Dave was single too, and it was something they often 0:15:34.728 --> 0:15:35.288 talked about. 0:15:35.608 --> 0:15:39.448 He had always been really open with me about how 0:15:39.448 --> 0:15:42.608 desperate he was to meet someone and settle down and 0:15:42.768 --> 0:15:45.608 kind of have kids and stuff, and by this stage. 0:15:45.608 --> 0:15:47.488 We're nearing our mid twenties, and you know, when you're 0:15:47.488 --> 0:15:48.928 in your mid twenties you feel like him. 0:15:49.728 --> 0:15:51.528 It's like nearing a hundred, you feel that old. 0:15:52.168 --> 0:15:55.648 And so to have him still be really keen to 0:15:55.728 --> 0:15:57.808 find that person that he was going to settle down with, 0:15:57.848 --> 0:16:00.288 and I was freshly in this kind of space of Wow, 0:16:00.328 --> 0:16:00.848 what happens? 0:16:00.928 --> 0:16:02.888 Like do I want to get married again? 0:16:03.048 --> 0:16:04.608 Like? How am I going to meet this person? Am 0:16:04.608 --> 0:16:07.048 I going to be single forever? It was definitely a 0:16:07.328 --> 0:16:12.808 really kind of mutual kind of meeting of two people 0:16:12.888 --> 0:16:17.088 who were navigating what it means to be single in 0:16:17.128 --> 0:16:20.688 your kind of early to mid twenties. I was always 0:16:20.728 --> 0:16:24.168 out and about doing fun things, but I never failed 0:16:24.208 --> 0:16:25.968 to make time to kind of catch up with Dave 0:16:26.608 --> 0:16:29.208 and chat about what we were doing. MSN Messenger was 0:16:29.488 --> 0:16:31.848 just it was just the shit those days. It was 0:16:32.368 --> 0:16:36.288 king and so I'd come from work and go to 0:16:36.288 --> 0:16:37.568 the gym for a bit, and then it would be 0:16:37.648 --> 0:16:41.168 on the computer on MSN, catching up with what he'd 0:16:41.208 --> 0:16:44.328 been doing, having a bit of a chat. Over the weekend, 0:16:44.328 --> 0:16:47.728 there would be like an hour's long phone call between 0:16:47.728 --> 0:16:51.968 the two of us, having a goss moaning about people 0:16:52.448 --> 0:16:54.968 talking about what we wanted to talk about, what we 0:16:55.008 --> 0:16:58.208 wanted to do, and we had always always really enjoyed 0:16:58.208 --> 0:17:01.048 going the concerts together, and so we were kind of 0:17:01.048 --> 0:17:03.688 talking about, you know, what was the next plan now 0:17:03.688 --> 0:17:05.927 that I'd kind of had this bit of a hurdle 0:17:05.968 --> 0:17:08.568 and I was working through you know, single life. We 0:17:08.568 --> 0:17:12.447 should we should some amazing concert to go to together. 0:17:12.568 --> 0:17:14.967 Let's let's pick an entirely new capital city that we 0:17:14.968 --> 0:17:18.088 haven't been to together yet and go to some concert. 0:17:18.168 --> 0:17:20.328 And then, you. 0:17:20.288 --> 0:17:22.927 Know, as luck would have it, one of our favorite 0:17:22.968 --> 0:17:26.368 bands announced that they were coming to Australia and touring, 0:17:26.408 --> 0:17:28.368 and so we got right on that and we decided 0:17:28.408 --> 0:17:32.448 that's it. We're gonna We're going to both fly from 0:17:32.488 --> 0:17:37.128 our respective cities of residents to Melbourne to go to 0:17:37.168 --> 0:17:39.368 this concert. We were so excited, and I felt like 0:17:39.368 --> 0:17:42.248 that was the first big girl thing I'd done since 0:17:42.288 --> 0:17:44.368 breaking up with Andrew. You know, I'd never been on 0:17:44.408 --> 0:17:47.648 a trip before without him. I'd never stayed in a 0:17:47.688 --> 0:17:50.927 hotel room without Andrew wnet, So I was so I 0:17:50.968 --> 0:17:53.728 was so excited. Dave was super keeney, where he really 0:17:53.768 --> 0:17:56.927 loved this band. He was looking forward to catching up 0:17:57.008 --> 0:18:00.888 so even though I was like, so broke, you know, 0:18:01.128 --> 0:18:02.528 being single is expensive. 0:18:03.168 --> 0:18:05.848 I was so broke. I scrimped and saved. 0:18:05.728 --> 0:18:08.008 To kind of get the tickets and book my flights 0:18:08.008 --> 0:18:10.408 to go on this concept. 0:18:10.528 --> 0:18:12.968 It had been two much since these two besties had 0:18:13.008 --> 0:18:15.927 seen each other, so the excitement was real. They couldn't 0:18:15.968 --> 0:18:18.408 wait to reunite, to see their favorite band and make 0:18:18.488 --> 0:18:21.008 up for lost time. And if you asked Dave, this 0:18:21.088 --> 0:18:22.848 was going to be the best trip they'd ever have. 0:18:23.328 --> 0:18:24.648 And he kept saying to me that, you know, it 0:18:24.688 --> 0:18:26.848 was my first trip as a single woman, and he 0:18:26.888 --> 0:18:30.888 wanted to make sure it was good. He made all 0:18:30.928 --> 0:18:35.368 of the arrangements and planned it such that we obviously 0:18:35.368 --> 0:18:37.568 flew into Melbourne on the same day and his flight 0:18:37.768 --> 0:18:41.408 arrived about twenty minutes before mine. So I got off 0:18:41.408 --> 0:18:45.207 the plane and walked into the terminal and he was 0:18:45.248 --> 0:18:47.928 waiting at my gate, as I had expected he would be, 0:18:48.568 --> 0:18:51.048 And there he was my best friend, and he had 0:18:51.088 --> 0:18:57.128 this massive bunch of flowers in his hand, and I thought, wow, 0:18:57.168 --> 0:18:59.408 that's so nice, Like we haven't seen each other since 0:18:59.408 --> 0:18:59.808 the split. 0:19:00.808 --> 0:19:04.728 What a legend, you know, on a great guy? What 0:19:04.808 --> 0:19:05.568 are best friends for? 0:19:06.688 --> 0:19:09.967 And there was a big hug, of course, and I 0:19:10.008 --> 0:19:12.608 was just so happy to see him, and he seemed 0:19:12.608 --> 0:19:13.447 really happy to see me. 0:19:14.488 --> 0:19:17.848 We transited to our hotel. 0:19:18.488 --> 0:19:19.727 You know, I had a bit of a catch up 0:19:19.768 --> 0:19:22.648 in the cab and by the time we got to 0:19:22.648 --> 0:19:24.328 the hotel, we had a few hours left before we 0:19:24.368 --> 0:19:26.968 had to get on the train to get to the concert. 0:19:27.008 --> 0:19:29.008 And so I said, look, it was also new. 0:19:29.048 --> 0:19:30.608 I wouldn't mind going into my room and having a 0:19:30.648 --> 0:19:32.488 bit of a like a shower, and I'll get dressed, 0:19:32.488 --> 0:19:34.248 and then maybe we could go and have a couple 0:19:34.288 --> 0:19:36.048 of beers before we. 0:19:35.968 --> 0:19:37.488 Go to the concert. He said, yeah, sounds great. 0:19:37.688 --> 0:19:40.008 So I went into my room and I was having 0:19:40.008 --> 0:19:44.368 a great time in all my own free space, single girl, 0:19:44.448 --> 0:19:47.368 loving life. And then there was a knock on my 0:19:47.408 --> 0:19:53.568 door and I opened it and there was Dave and 0:19:53.688 --> 0:19:58.568 he invited me next door into his room. And I 0:19:58.608 --> 0:20:01.848 was slightly bothered by this invitation, more because I hadn't 0:20:01.888 --> 0:20:03.128 even had a chance to have a shower yet, like 0:20:03.128 --> 0:20:05.648 he'd left me alone for approximately eight consecutive minutes. 0:20:06.488 --> 0:20:09.288 But okay, I thought, rad yep, let's do it. 0:20:10.528 --> 0:20:15.207 Followed days into his room and he had spent the 0:20:15.488 --> 0:20:19.248 eight minutes that we had been apart setting up somewhat 0:20:19.288 --> 0:20:26.048 of a shrine. There were many gift wrapped presents arranged 0:20:26.808 --> 0:20:29.128 on the bed in his room, many of them. There's 0:20:29.168 --> 0:20:34.048 a mountain of them, present mountain, And he said, I 0:20:34.128 --> 0:20:35.687 just really wanted to make sure this trip was so 0:20:35.768 --> 0:20:39.608 good for you, Amanda. You've had a rough couple of months. 0:20:39.608 --> 0:20:42.808 I know he's sad about Andrew. I know you're really 0:20:42.848 --> 0:20:46.928 worried that all of your friends are gonna choose him 0:20:47.048 --> 0:20:50.328 or choose neither of you. Like, I just really wanted 0:20:50.368 --> 0:20:53.608 to take this chance to show you that I'm like, 0:20:53.608 --> 0:20:55.928 we're best friends. I'm like, I'm all in, like I'm 0:20:55.968 --> 0:21:00.408 choosing you right, And I've bought you some things. 0:21:00.408 --> 0:21:03.808 Because I want you to have nice stuff. 0:21:04.288 --> 0:21:07.488 And I thought, what a great guy, what a great thing. 0:21:07.568 --> 0:21:10.648 How lucky am I to have best friend like this, 0:21:10.688 --> 0:21:14.088 What a legend? And who doesn't like presents? So of 0:21:14.128 --> 0:21:16.128 course I was directed to open those presents immediately, and 0:21:16.168 --> 0:21:18.967 I was very happy to oblige. He'd got me books 0:21:19.048 --> 0:21:23.648