WEBVTT - Week 24: Why Have I Lost My Empathy? 0:00:10.709 --> 0:00:13.909 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 0:00:14.829 --> 0:00:18.349 Mama Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 0:00:18.349 --> 0:00:20.069 that this podcast is recorded on. 0:00:21.389 --> 0:00:23.949 I am pregnanty. 0:00:27.309 --> 0:00:28.229 Welcome to Hello Bump. 0:00:28.309 --> 0:00:31.829 We're making pregnancy less overwhelming and more hopefully manageable. 0:00:32.149 --> 0:00:32.989 I'm Grace Rouvey. 0:00:33.069 --> 0:00:35.469 I'm pregnant for the first time, and I'm wondering where 0:00:35.509 --> 0:00:37.589 all my empathy and patience has gone. 0:00:37.509 --> 0:00:39.589 And I'm out a pittman, former olympian. Don't have any 0:00:39.589 --> 0:00:41.749 patients because I have six children and training to be 0:00:41.789 --> 0:00:42.549 an obstetrician. 0:00:42.669 --> 0:00:45.069 Each week, Jana and I will be holding your hand, 0:00:45.149 --> 0:00:47.669 hopefully making you feel less alone, and we will talk 0:00:47.709 --> 0:00:51.789 you through the mysterious, perplexing and sometimes irritating miracle that 0:00:51.989 --> 0:00:52.789 is pregnancy. 0:00:53.949 --> 0:00:57.909 Week twenty four And what size are we at? A 0:00:58.269 --> 0:00:58.989 French press? 0:00:59.949 --> 0:01:01.789 I know, I don't really know where that came one week? 0:01:03.749 --> 0:01:06.029 Well let's go okay, what about a quacker A quaker? 0:01:06.069 --> 0:01:08.349 Yeah? Or like a large torch, A large torch? 0:01:08.429 --> 0:01:09.869 Yes, okay, that's probably better. 0:01:10.909 --> 0:01:12.469 Corcker is good, yeah, Corcker. 0:01:12.949 --> 0:01:15.229 I'm trying to go with Aussie animals now, so I've 0:01:15.269 --> 0:01:15.669 tried to. 0:01:15.589 --> 0:01:16.669 Find an animal. 0:01:16.789 --> 0:01:18.869 Yeah, every every week coming forward. 0:01:18.589 --> 0:01:21.269 Guys, and what is our quaker grown this week? 0:01:22.469 --> 0:01:25.349 So they're a full sized ruler thirty centimeters six hundred grams. 0:01:25.949 --> 0:01:27.949 The lungs are now starting to produce that sour fact 0:01:27.989 --> 0:01:30.109 and that we've already talked about, so they will increase 0:01:30.309 --> 0:01:33.229 quite considerably as they approach birth. It is why we 0:01:33.229 --> 0:01:35.309 give the steroids if we need it. But it's basically 0:01:35.349 --> 0:01:37.629 to reduce the surface tension in the alvola and allow 0:01:37.669 --> 0:01:40.549 that gas to exchange, and reducing is like respiratory distressing 0:01:40.589 --> 0:01:42.749 babies when they're born. The brain's growing rapidly, I think 0:01:42.749 --> 0:01:44.189 that's kind of a common theme now for the next 0:01:44.229 --> 0:01:46.069 few weeks, and they're laying down more and more and 0:01:46.149 --> 0:01:47.669 more fat, although their skin is still. 0:01:47.509 --> 0:01:50.189 Actually pretty thin, still quite red, quite thin and red. 0:01:50.309 --> 0:01:53.989 Yeah, so they're still still quite a bit to go there. 0:01:52.749 --> 0:01:57.229 What's happening to me and what's happening to the mum? 0:01:57.269 --> 0:01:59.909 Your uterus is well above your belly button now, so 0:02:00.149 --> 0:02:02.629 you might be finding it harder and harder to breathe 0:02:02.669 --> 0:02:05.989 and just just being generally more uncomfortable, especially if you're 0:02:05.989 --> 0:02:09.749 having twins. You might actually start feeling Braxton Hicks contractions. 0:02:09.789 --> 0:02:13.029 So they are those practice contractions that women often talk about. 0:02:13.509 --> 0:02:16.869 This is around the time that the earliest ones we 0:02:16.949 --> 0:02:18.789 would think, oh, yeah, it's okay, it's just that prior 0:02:18.789 --> 0:02:20.189 to this week, get a bit worried that it might 0:02:20.189 --> 0:02:20.989 be labor starting. 0:02:21.109 --> 0:02:22.749 What does that feel like? 0:02:22.789 --> 0:02:26.389 Because we hear Braxton Hicks thrown around, thrown around all 0:02:26.429 --> 0:02:30.749 the time, and the only kind of visualization I have 0:02:30.829 --> 0:02:31.869 for this is period pain. 0:02:32.469 --> 0:02:34.789 But I don't know. Can you just break down what 0:02:34.789 --> 0:02:35.829 the well. 0:02:35.749 --> 0:02:38.989 Again, it's different for everyone, but it's a contraction itself, 0:02:39.189 --> 0:02:41.429 is determined by the uterus making a contraction. It's big 0:02:41.469 --> 0:02:44.229 muscle basically, and it contracts down and then you know, 0:02:44.309 --> 0:02:46.109 in doing so, you hope at some point will end 0:02:46.189 --> 0:02:49.149 up pushing and helping deliver your baby. But brax and 0:02:49.189 --> 0:02:51.349 Hicks can be back pain, it can be period cramps, 0:02:51.389 --> 0:02:53.269 it can be a contraction of the uterus that happens 0:02:53.309 --> 0:02:55.829 and then goes away quite quickly. The difference from real 0:02:55.829 --> 0:02:59.669 contractions is real contracts is continuous, they're regular, they last 0:02:59.669 --> 0:03:02.069 about forty five seconds, and they don't go away when 0:03:02.069 --> 0:03:03.709 you have a drink of water or lie down or 0:03:03.709 --> 0:03:06.069 get distracted. So if you're having Braxton's one of the 0:03:06.069 --> 0:03:08.069 tricks to it is ring a friend, have a really 0:03:08.109 --> 0:03:10.909 engaging conversation, or turn your favorite movie on if you've forgotten, 0:03:10.949 --> 0:03:14.149 because you've got really invested in the thing you're talking about. 0:03:14.709 --> 0:03:17.189 Likely those contractions of Braxton's and it's just practice. It's 0:03:17.229 --> 0:03:18.709 practice for when the real deal comes. 0:03:19.029 --> 0:03:19.589 Caveat here. 0:03:19.589 --> 0:03:22.029 Remember, infections can cause contractions. So if you are having 0:03:22.029 --> 0:03:24.229 a lot of braxton Hicks and they are taking your 0:03:24.229 --> 0:03:26.349 breath away a little bit, take a paracetamol. But it's 0:03:26.349 --> 0:03:29.269 probably also worth mentioning it your next medical or midwif 0:03:29.269 --> 0:03:31.589 free appointment, just in case there's something like a urine 0:03:31.629 --> 0:03:33.029 retract infection in the background. 0:03:33.949 --> 0:03:34.589 Is this normal? 0:03:34.709 --> 0:03:35.309 Is it normal? 0:03:35.509 --> 0:03:36.869 There's a couple of things I want to actually ask 0:03:36.909 --> 0:03:39.589 about in Is this normal? One is about getting a 0:03:39.589 --> 0:03:43.069 pregnancy pillow and laying and everyone says stop. 0:03:42.949 --> 0:03:43.629 Laying on your back. 0:03:43.829 --> 0:03:45.589 True, it should be about now actually that you start 0:03:45.669 --> 0:03:47.509 rotating off and off to your left side. 0:03:47.749 --> 0:03:48.509 Do you know why though? 0:03:48.669 --> 0:03:53.029 No, your blood something about your blood circulation and so 0:03:53.629 --> 0:03:53.989 you're big. 0:03:54.309 --> 0:03:55.909 You know, have your area water that carries blood to 0:03:56.029 --> 0:03:57.509 the pregnance into the rest of your body, and you 0:03:57.509 --> 0:04:00.229 have your VC. So your actual vessels that take all 0:04:00.349 --> 0:04:03.349 the blood away from the placenter get squashed by your pregnancy, 0:04:03.389 --> 0:04:05.069 so they lie on the back. They basically run up 0:04:05.109 --> 0:04:07.629 the back of your body, and when the pregnancy is 0:04:07.709 --> 0:04:10.069 lying on top of it, you actually stop venus return 0:04:10.149 --> 0:04:13.349 into the heart, and so kind of important to get 0:04:13.349 --> 0:04:13.589 off that. 0:04:14.429 --> 0:04:16.029 Is this one of those things of whatever's happening to 0:04:16.069 --> 0:04:18.549 you is also happening to the baby situations? Or is 0:04:18.589 --> 0:04:20.589 it worse for the baby than it is for you? 0:04:20.829 --> 0:04:23.389 Ah, A bit of both in that ultimately it's taking 0:04:23.429 --> 0:04:25.069 all the blood from your legs, so all the waste 0:04:25.069 --> 0:04:27.189 product that your body has used it. It's dropped off 0:04:27.189 --> 0:04:28.589 all the oxygen and it's trying to come back with 0:04:28.629 --> 0:04:30.869 deoxygenated blood. So you get problems with swelling, you get 0:04:30.869 --> 0:04:33.029 problems with pain, and then ultimately it's still all the 0:04:33.029 --> 0:04:34.469 blood volumes. So if it doesn't get across to the 0:04:34.549 --> 0:04:36.549 other side of the heart reoxygenate through the lungs and 0:04:36.549 --> 0:04:39.949 to the baby, you can, you know, theoretically, reduce the 0:04:39.949 --> 0:04:42.909 oxygen flow to baby. But please be reassured, ninety percent 0:04:42.909 --> 0:04:44.309 of women do the right thing and start on their 0:04:44.389 --> 0:04:46.149 left hand side and then wake up on their back 0:04:46.189 --> 0:04:47.229 freak out and say to me, have. 0:04:47.189 --> 0:04:49.349 I killed my baby because I've been sleeping on my back? 0:04:49.389 --> 0:04:51.869 I can't stop rolling. You do the best you can. 0:04:52.189 --> 0:04:54.589 So that's where the pregnancy pillows can help, because they 0:04:54.589 --> 0:04:56.029 can kind of help you propped up a little bit 0:04:56.509 --> 0:04:59.069 on that rotation. But please be reassured that you know 0:04:59.109 --> 0:05:01.269 people have been unfortunately sleeping on their backs, not on 0:05:01.269 --> 0:05:02.869 your tummies. Guys, I think it is time to try 0:05:02.909 --> 0:05:05.149 and get off your tummy. I did have that question 0:05:05.189 --> 0:05:06.869 a few weeks ago that the woman was still sleeping 0:05:06.869 --> 0:05:07.349 on her tummy. 0:05:07.629 --> 0:05:10.069 Cow yeah, would just be more uncomfortable. 0:05:10.309 --> 0:05:12.749 She propped pillows around her belly apparently, so I was like, Okay, 0:05:12.749 --> 0:05:13.429 that's interesting. 0:05:13.629 --> 0:05:18.069 Sure, good for her, great, but yes, is this normal? 0:05:18.189 --> 0:05:18.789 Is it normal? 0:05:19.189 --> 0:05:20.749 The other thing that I want to know if there's 0:05:20.789 --> 0:05:23.029 and I really hope there's a scientific reason for this, 0:05:23.669 --> 0:05:26.709 Please tell me there is, Jana, Why I am a jerk? 0:05:27.749 --> 0:05:29.429 I don't know. I can probably speak to your husband 0:05:29.429 --> 0:05:29.669 about that. 0:05:29.709 --> 0:05:29.989 I don't know. 0:05:30.069 --> 0:05:32.309 I don't actually don't don't speak to him. 0:05:32.589 --> 0:05:36.189 I think there's something about my empathy or when people 0:05:36.229 --> 0:05:37.949 talk it and I should be very careful because I'm 0:05:37.949 --> 0:05:41.269 speaking about a workplace that I work inside of is 0:05:41.269 --> 0:05:43.789 when people I don't know faff around with things that 0:05:43.829 --> 0:05:46.989 I feel it unnecessary, Like my whole body is just 0:05:47.069 --> 0:05:49.909 like everything you're doing is irrelevant against it? 0:05:50.269 --> 0:05:52.309 Yeah yeah, so what is this? 0:05:53.229 --> 0:05:59.229 Nothing matters? Everyone is pointless. What is happening to my personality? 0:05:59.389 --> 0:06:01.509 I think it's multi factor all. I think, particularly for 0:06:01.549 --> 0:06:03.189 someone like yourself, because you and I have talked off 0:06:03.189 --> 0:06:05.269 air as well. You're still nauseous, Like, let's be honest, 0:06:05.309 --> 0:06:08.509 you're now almost approaching the third trimester and you're still 0:06:08.549 --> 0:06:11.869 more vomiting occasionally, and you're still naues. You're exhausted, you're 0:06:11.869 --> 0:06:14.189 not sleeping well enough. Like you've got a factor in 0:06:14.229 --> 0:06:16.349 that you're growing a whole human being and you're gonna 0:06:16.349 --> 0:06:18.629 have days where your emotions run wild because of the hormones. 0:06:18.669 --> 0:06:21.629 But you're also fatigued and tired. Baby's going to accelerate 0:06:21.669 --> 0:06:23.189 its growth, You're not going to catch up with the 0:06:23.229 --> 0:06:26.149 food you're taking in, and you just feel crappy. Back 0:06:26.189 --> 0:06:27.909 to that in with a husband who's not going through 0:06:27.949 --> 0:06:29.789 it and not understanding and who you think, come on, 0:06:29.829 --> 0:06:31.629 you could message my feet right now, but you're watching 0:06:31.669 --> 0:06:34.069 the football. It just doesn't quite go right, you know, 0:06:34.429 --> 0:06:38.029 So communication is key in that space, and again outsourcing 0:06:38.069 --> 0:06:40.389 if it's getting a bit overwhelming. It's just being aware 0:06:40.429 --> 0:06:42.429 of those triggers. We're all human, but having a fight 0:06:42.429 --> 0:06:44.189 with your partner's not going to help. So it's kind 0:06:44.229 --> 0:06:46.229 of one of those I don't know, go and be 0:06:46.309 --> 0:06:49.309 an asshole in a boxing bag rather than in your relationship. 0:06:49.429 --> 0:06:51.789 Yeah, he wouldn't drive me to work yesterday because it's 0:06:51.789 --> 0:06:53.229 not that right cool because it was raining. 0:06:53.349 --> 0:06:55.189 It was raining. He drove me to the station and 0:06:55.189 --> 0:06:57.669 I said, can you drive me to work? And he wouldn't. 0:06:57.669 --> 0:06:59.869 And then I like, like, such a good question. You 0:06:59.869 --> 0:07:01.989 are it, And I'm glad that this is recorded because 0:07:02.029 --> 0:07:04.589 I'll be playing it back to him. But I sat 0:07:04.629 --> 0:07:05.429 on the train and I just. 0:07:05.469 --> 0:07:07.949 Got really teary about it too, though, because I don't. 0:07:07.829 --> 0:07:09.189 Know if my brain has started to go in the 0:07:09.309 --> 0:07:11.509 end of thal s of like, well, now I'm in 0:07:11.549 --> 0:07:13.589 the cave and you need to protect me from the bears. 0:07:14.149 --> 0:07:18.109 And in the twenty first century, that is driving me 0:07:18.189 --> 0:07:22.149 to work, building me up hard. He still is just like, 0:07:22.149 --> 0:07:23.589 I don't think I need to drive you to work. 0:07:23.629 --> 0:07:26.349 I was like, well, you're not pregnant and. 0:07:26.509 --> 0:07:28.029 Look, you know there will be people who listen tos 0:07:28.029 --> 0:07:29.469 and go, oh, that's ridiculous. It's just you know, I 0:07:29.509 --> 0:07:31.789 dropped to work. But I think it's also we need 0:07:31.869 --> 0:07:33.989 to teach our men to be dads. And so there's 0:07:34.029 --> 0:07:35.829 a whole chapter that's coming in the head they're not 0:07:35.829 --> 0:07:38.149 ready for yet. And so we can choose cheeky ways 0:07:38.189 --> 0:07:40.269 like this podcast to sort of remind our women that 0:07:40.349 --> 0:07:42.549 this is the start of a big, long process ahead. 0:07:42.589 --> 0:07:44.749 And so it's a training process. And let's be honest, 0:07:44.789 --> 0:07:45.949 we have to train men in most things. 0:07:46.149 --> 0:07:48.829 Oh my god, this is such a good like leave 0:07:48.869 --> 0:07:53.629 it a pool. Now, what can we do on our 0:07:53.669 --> 0:07:55.869 to do list or the checklist this week? 0:07:56.149 --> 0:07:58.629 Well, we've kind of discussed it already, which is GDM, 0:07:58.709 --> 0:08:01.709 so diabetes in pregnancy. It affects about twelve to fourteen 0:08:01.709 --> 0:08:04.029 percent of pregnancies and twenty percent in Indigenous women. It's 0:08:04.069 --> 0:08:06.669 time to book it that horrible, yucky glucost test. But 0:08:06.709 --> 0:08:09.309 it's really important, so ideally somewhere between twenty four and 0:08:09.309 --> 0:08:12.069 twenty eight weeks. Again, a lot of pathology centers don't 0:08:12.069 --> 0:08:13.469 do it because quite a long test. You need two 0:08:13.469 --> 0:08:14.989 and a half hours and you need to be fasting 0:08:15.349 --> 0:08:18.109 when you go. So some centers, for example, only do 0:08:18.149 --> 0:08:20.109 them on a Friday, so un I need a book 0:08:20.149 --> 0:08:22.229 now in case they're booked out next week, rather than 0:08:22.229 --> 0:08:23.909 you find your midwife's having a go at you because 0:08:23.909 --> 0:08:25.469 you're thirty weeks pregnant, you're still have a done it. 0:08:25.509 --> 0:08:27.749 I have a tip on that actually is that if 0:08:27.789 --> 0:08:30.029 you are nauxious to call ahead and see if it's 0:08:30.029 --> 0:08:33.749 refrigerated the drink because it's yep, because it's easy to 0:08:33.749 --> 0:08:34.749 tolerate when it's cold. 0:08:34.949 --> 0:08:36.869 Yeah, and look at some people love it. I can 0:08:36.909 --> 0:08:39.829 tell you, as I said, it's the why really really 0:08:39.869 --> 0:08:40.549 hate that drink? 0:08:41.189 --> 0:08:43.229 I know how good for you is it? It's not nice. 0:08:45.469 --> 0:08:50.429 My tool kit is to stop following some pregnancy Instagram accounts. 0:08:50.429 --> 0:08:53.269 Oh I love you, just totally agree. 0:08:53.109 --> 0:08:56.149 Some people who have started to there's a lot of 0:08:56.189 --> 0:08:58.429 sleep advice that is being targeted to me at the 0:08:58.469 --> 0:09:02.669 moment already, like baby sleep advice or things like don't 0:09:02.669 --> 0:09:03.789 do this, don't do this. 0:09:03.749 --> 0:09:05.909 Or I'm doing push ups in pregnancy and I'm amazing 0:09:05.909 --> 0:09:06.269 and you're not. 0:09:06.669 --> 0:09:09.149 Yes, yes, a lot of look how fit I stay 0:09:09.149 --> 0:09:09.869 in pregnancy? 0:09:10.189 --> 0:09:11.909 As someone who used to go to the gym five 0:09:11.989 --> 0:09:14.549 days a week and has gone down to well only 0:09:14.709 --> 0:09:17.469 just started going back to the gym, doing very soft 0:09:17.469 --> 0:09:22.069 pilarates and doing walks. I did get comparities disheartening, Yeah, 0:09:22.109 --> 0:09:26.029 and so it's unfollowing or just not looking at that content. 0:09:26.189 --> 0:09:28.229 Totally agree because we do enough comparing in life as 0:09:28.229 --> 0:09:30.909 it is, and I think every woman's journey is so different. 0:09:30.949 --> 0:09:32.869 And I mean, look, I am also an advocate though, 0:09:32.909 --> 0:09:35.189 to share your own warts and all kinds of pregnancies 0:09:35.229 --> 0:09:36.549 because there's not enough of us doing it, so you 0:09:36.589 --> 0:09:37.869 can if you want to go. And I'm not am 0:09:37.869 --> 0:09:40.629 I my pregnancy page because I talk about veins and 0:09:40.989 --> 0:09:44.989 everything that's come out of me is very authentic on Instagram. 0:09:45.029 --> 0:09:47.069 And I made that decision collectively a few years ago 0:09:47.109 --> 0:09:48.829 because I'd seen too many of the accounts you were 0:09:48.829 --> 0:09:51.389 talking about too many people and looked at me wrong. 0:09:51.389 --> 0:09:52.869 I'm a full advocate for women, you know. I am 0:09:52.909 --> 0:09:55.589 a powerhouse woman myself. I'm working as a doctor and 0:09:55.669 --> 0:09:57.669 I have so many children, so I'm all about propping 0:09:57.669 --> 0:10:00.669 women up and inspiring them. So sometimes you might be 0:10:00.749 --> 0:10:03.029 one of those persons who really enjoys looking at someone 0:10:03.109 --> 0:10:05.749 else doing amazing on Instagram, but there might be times 0:10:05.749 --> 0:10:06.349 you do to turn it. 0:10:06.309 --> 0:10:06.789 Off as well. 0:10:06.829 --> 0:10:09.349 So it's trying to find that happy medium, and that's 0:10:09.389 --> 0:10:10.909 the hard part is when is it enough. 0:10:14.109 --> 0:10:16.269 We hope you enjoyed this episode of Hello Bump. We 0:10:16.349 --> 0:10:19.389 have so many episodes of this series filled with tips 0:10:19.429 --> 0:10:22.229 and stories from women and experts who've been through it 0:10:22.309 --> 0:10:22.869 all before. 0:10:23.229 --> 0:10:25.069 You can go back and listen to everything else Hello 0:10:25.109 --> 0:10:26.829 Bump related in this podcast feed. 0:10:26.749 --> 0:10:28.549 And while you're there, we'd love if you could give 0:10:28.589 --> 0:10:30.309 us a five star rating and maybe leave us a 0:10:30.309 --> 0:10:32.669 review or even shared this episode with a friend. 0:10:32.829 --> 0:10:35.989 This episode was produced by Courtney Ammenhauser with audio production 0:10:36.069 --> 0:10:37.749 by Tom Lyon We'll catch you next time. 0:10:37.829 --> 0:10:40.669 This episode of Hello Bump was made in partnership with Huggies. 0:10:40.869 --> 0:10:44.349 Bye Bye.