Speaker 1: You're listening to I'm a mea podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome out louders. This isn't quite like a
Speaker 2: usual show. But I am here with one Clus Stevens, Hello,
Speaker 2: one Emily Vernham. We are not really here are What
Speaker 2: are you doing? What are you doing?
Speaker 3: I am in or on the morning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's where Claire is right now as you're
Speaker 2: listening to this what what are you doing?
Speaker 4: I'm recovering from playing to all at the pub. Might
Speaker 4: come in tomorrow, might not.
Speaker 2: I have got a house full of guests, women and
Speaker 2: children only and dogs, women and children only at my house.
Speaker 2: So that's what I'm doing today. But we thought, since
Speaker 2: this is only a holiday for some bits of Australia
Speaker 2: and most of Australia actually just going about their business
Speaker 2: like normal, that you did deserve an episode even though
Speaker 2: ourselves and our team are on a break today. So
Speaker 2: what we've done is we've pulled a conversation out of
Speaker 2: our outluder's group, which is what we do. Love to
Speaker 2: do that because you're always having the best conversations in there.
Speaker 2: They're so smart they are and Facebook, and we thought
Speaker 2: we would pull out a question in there that really
Speaker 2: grabbed us and unpick it because the out louders wanted
Speaker 2: to unpick this one too, right, it's about family group chats.
Speaker 2: Who wants to read it out?
Speaker 3: I can read it out, okay, The out louder writes,
Speaker 3: I have three beautiful and amazing kids twenty one, nineteen
Speaker 3: and sixteen. Two are studying away from home, and the
Speaker 3: third is enduring conversation cards at dinner and board games
Speaker 3: with the parentals. He actually loves it. I hate it,
Speaker 3: she says, I really enjoy this this week, I have
Speaker 3: demanded the following from my family as I'm sick of
Speaker 3: the disconnect. We are a close family unit, but all
Speaker 3: kind of suck at social media, reaching out and the
Speaker 3: whole general connecting thing. So new regime. Each Sunday, we
Speaker 3: are all required to text the family group chat our
Speaker 3: weekly highs and lows. This was once a nightly ritual
Speaker 3: in our home around the dining table and an amazing
Speaker 3: conversation stata. Everyone has to include three picks from their week.
Speaker 3: Anything is acceptable. No explanations are required, but follow up
Speaker 3: questions do need to be answered. This will evolve. I'm
Speaker 3: sure we're calling it the Sunday Roast. If you have
Speaker 3: any ideas, inclusions, improvements, objections, Please share. That is from
Speaker 3: our out louder Lee. It sparked such a good conversation
Speaker 3: and got us thinking about how we keep group chats alive.
Speaker 3: M Do you have a family group chat?
Speaker 4: I do have a family group chat. I'm the most
Speaker 4: active person in our family group chat. Sometimes I'll message
Speaker 4: what parents do this thing where they talk to each
Speaker 4: other in the family group chat. So they use a
Speaker 4: family group chat for all types of communications. So my
Speaker 4: dad at milk literally, my mum will be like, I'm
Speaker 4: at the station, can someone pick me up?
Speaker 2: And Dad?
Speaker 4: We all know what it's gonna be that that's like
Speaker 4: I'll be there and then I'm like, okay, waiting for you, dad,
Speaker 4: five minutes away. Okay, I'm standing near the bus. So
Speaker 4: I mean my sister like, my phone is pinging.
Speaker 3: It's like, that's a separate conversation, separate conversation.
Speaker 2: Step us back of it. Have you always had a
Speaker 2: family group chat or is it a new thing? Because
Speaker 2: this is the thing that's interesting in the way that
Speaker 2: this all unfolded in here. There's lots of people like
Speaker 2: I hate family group chats, or I don't have one,
Speaker 2: or I do have one or whatever? Have you always
Speaker 2: had one since you've left home?
Speaker 4: Kind of yeah, I can't remember a time where I
Speaker 4: didn't have one. I've always had one since I've had phones,
Speaker 4: since me and my sister have had phones. And it's
Speaker 4: not we don't have like full conversations on there. It's
Speaker 4: more just a we're hosting dinner tonight, are you guys
Speaker 4: free tonight? This thing is happening tomorrow. Does anyone want
Speaker 4: to come to this game with us? We're getting tickets.
Speaker 4: And I think that's mainly because me and my sister
Speaker 4: live very close with our parents, So I see my
Speaker 4: parents physically. Like the longest I've been away from not
Speaker 4: seeing them is it's been two weeks unless we're traveling
Speaker 4: or something otherwise I see them all the time. My
Speaker 4: mom works close to me. I always ask her if
Speaker 4: she wants to have lunch. She always says no because
Speaker 4: she's really busy. But my parents aren't big Texters. My
Speaker 4: dad's more of a call guy. Oh he loves calling,
Speaker 4: and my mom's more like in person interactions very quickly. Yeah,
Speaker 4: So I think it's when I read this, on a
Speaker 4: normal week, you would see them? How many times I
Speaker 4: would see my mom at least twice a week. I
Speaker 4: would see my dad probably once to two weeks.
Speaker 2: And in the and then you're also messaging in the
Speaker 2: group chat.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you directly message your mom separately too, yeah? And
Speaker 2: all of them yeah yeah. And do you have another
Speaker 2: family group chat that's a bit broader.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then I have my I have my on my
Speaker 4: mom's side, like my aunt's uncles, like my dad's there,
Speaker 4: and my cousins, and that's mainly talking about like Nana
Speaker 4: and Papa when he was alive, and communications about who's
Speaker 4: seeing her, who's picking her up, who pretty much, who
Speaker 4: has her that weekend. And then I have my extended
Speaker 4: cousin's chat, and then my cousin's chat on my dad's side,
Speaker 4: and then my cousin's chat on my grandfather's side, and
Speaker 4: my cousin's chat on my grandmother's side.
Speaker 2: What happens in the cousin's chats.
Speaker 4: Oh, it's just like, well, I'm really lucky. I'm really
Speaker 4: lucky because me and my cousins are all the same age.
Speaker 4: So it's like who's coming out tonight, who's drinking tonight,
Speaker 4: let's go out? Is anyone going to this uncle's birthday party,
Speaker 4: yes or no. So it's a lot of like, let's
Speaker 4: make sure we're on the same page. What the what
Speaker 4: does cocktailer tire mean? Can someone send me photos or
Speaker 4: what they're wearing to the wedding? A lot of that,
Speaker 4: And then I have just a chat with my nana,
Speaker 4: which is her accidentally calling me and then me replying going,
Speaker 4: hey Nana, did you call? I missed it. I'm sorry,
Speaker 4: and then her just not responding.
Speaker 2: She's a lot of family communication.
Speaker 4: It's a lot, but like I think I'm one of
Speaker 4: that family that's a lot of communication. The thing is,
Speaker 4: I actually bristled at this post because if I had
Speaker 4: to be forced to do type of group chat activity
Speaker 4: like this, I think I'm the type of person that
Speaker 4: would immediately tap out. That's too much for me. We're
Speaker 4: already doing.
Speaker 2: What we really upset, like, not your mum, but this
Speaker 2: because she's just trying to make She's trying to hold
Speaker 2: the family together. That's what's going on here, is that
Speaker 2: she is trying to hold the family together while they're
Speaker 2: all off doing different thing.
Speaker 4: And I guess she's making it easier by making it. Yeah,
Speaker 4: like it's not taking too much time out of your day.
Speaker 4: But sometimes, and I think about this with a lot
Speaker 4: of my group chats. Sometimes I'm really active and really
Speaker 4: into it, and sometimes I don't touch it for two weeks,
Speaker 4: and I think if I had to have another thing
Speaker 4: on my list just to communicate with family, that would
Speaker 4: make me really annoyed.
Speaker 3: We tried to do this in one of my friendship
Speaker 3: group chats because we live all over Australia, all over
Speaker 3: the world, and we did it where it would be
Speaker 3: a voice note and yeah, to say what the highlight
Speaker 3: and low light of the week was me now, But
Speaker 3: it ended up being like a six minute voice note
Speaker 3: from my friend who I do or who lives in
Speaker 3: Western Australia, and he'd be like, I found a possum,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I just.
Speaker 2: I care.
Speaker 3: I care, But the obligation to respond to like each
Speaker 3: element of him finding a possum.
Speaker 2: And also voice notes and I know we've talked about
Speaker 2: this before, but they drive me crazy because I'm always
Speaker 2: doing things and I look down and go, someone send
Speaker 2: me a voice note. I'm doing things. I can't listen
Speaker 2: to that, whereas if they've written me something, I can
Speaker 2: just read it.
Speaker 3: Which can I say is so fucking indulgent of us
Speaker 3: to not listen to other people's voice notes, Like I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: We'll just record hours of podcasting a week that some
Speaker 3: of our friends listen to it, and then they send
Speaker 3: me a voice note. I'm like, ew, Like, I think it's.
Speaker 2: Rude to send a voice note because I think it
Speaker 2: says stop what you're doing and listen to this. I've
Speaker 2: got friends who do it, and I'm like, I just
Speaker 2: want to like, oh, we're having dinner tonight, and they
Speaker 2: answer me with a voice note, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: that now you've given me a job.
Speaker 4: You know why people do voice notes? I can't screenshot
Speaker 4: it more.
Speaker 3: The ones the voice notes that you do over text
Speaker 3: disappear once somebody's listened to them, which can become confusing
Speaker 3: if I wasn't concentrating the first time. But but no,
Speaker 3: I've had people where they're telling me gossip and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's quite clever.
Speaker 2: Actually, all right, anyway, as bartas there, So I can't
Speaker 2: even imagine how many family group chats you're in. How
Speaker 2: many family group chats are you in?
Speaker 3: Okay, so, like m got like both sides of the family. Like,
Speaker 3: so I've got my husband's family group chat absolutely dead,
Speaker 3: no vibe there, sorry guys. And then my family group chat,
Speaker 3: which is mostly mum sharing things with no context her
Speaker 3: favorite thing and what you say am about people going
Speaker 3: back and forth, whereas it's like this needs to be
Speaker 3: a private conversation mum's favorite thing and I've never got
Speaker 3: this off my chest, but it really really upsets me.
Speaker 3: If you're trying to find her, say, she's like, I've
Speaker 3: come to the park or I'll meet you at this place.
Speaker 3: Her way of communicating where she is is not say,
Speaker 3: sharing her location, that would be a good idea. She
Speaker 3: takes a photo of what she can see. Just think
Speaker 3: about that for a minute. It is so unhelpful, and
Speaker 3: so our family group just like a tree when you're
Speaker 3: in a forest, it's full of like someone else's car
Speaker 3: and you're like, I that is soone helped.
Speaker 2: She's like, work hard to fight.
Speaker 3: She's like, this is my perspective that I can see,
Speaker 3: so find me here. So it's just a lot of
Speaker 3: that and a lot of what the hell to.
Speaker 4: Find my friend's thing is tricky though, because me and
Speaker 4: my sister have both of our parents and find my friends,
Speaker 4: but they don't have each other. So a lot of
Speaker 4: our group chat is dad messaging us going, girls, can
Speaker 4: you please track your mum's phone? She's lost it again?
Speaker 4: Like this, stop pring into your marriage problem.
Speaker 2: They don't believe in tracking because anyway, I love it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so my family, my husband's family, mum's extended
Speaker 3: family has actually had to become a Facebook group because
Speaker 3: there are too many of it. No, seriously, mums one
Speaker 3: of seven and they all have kids, and so it's
Speaker 3: a Facebook grip. You've got to make a public post.
Speaker 3: You got to make a public post when you have
Speaker 3: a baby, You've got to make a public post when
Speaker 3: you've got some big life news. And it actually goes
Speaker 3: off and over the years because it's existed for a while.
Speaker 3: There are a lot of people who are not part
Speaker 3: of the family, who are in the family groul exes
Speaker 3: yet no, like some members of the other side of
Speaker 3: the family, or like just just cont some of my
Speaker 3: mum's friends who are like, I'm interested in what your
Speaker 3: family's do.
Speaker 4: You know what boomers love to do add people to groups.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to represent the portion of the lessoners
Speaker 2: who are not group chat people. Yeah, because I have
Speaker 2: a family group chat with my family who live in
Speaker 2: England because that's where my family live. Hardly anything ever
Speaker 2: happens in there. Every now and again, I'll be like,
Speaker 2: it'll be like my brother ran a marathon, woop, and
Speaker 2: everyone goes yay, and I'll be like Matilda kicked a
Speaker 2: goal yeay woo. But it's not like a back and
Speaker 2: forthy kind of thing. It's more like a notice board.
Speaker 4: But I think it's the one who's away, which is
Speaker 4: you has to take ownership of the group, and you're
Speaker 4: not doing that.
Speaker 2: I think the problem with family group chat dynamics for
Speaker 2: most people is that different generations don't understand group chat dynamics.
Speaker 2: So if I just went in there with like lolls
Speaker 2: like watching this show or taking the piss out of
Speaker 2: something or posting memes, my mom and dad would be
Speaker 2: so confused. They always feel like they have to respond
Speaker 2: to everything you post. They would then have to go
Speaker 2: down a rabbit hole to try and understand what I'm
Speaker 2: talking about. Like they're smart people, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 2: but they're not. We don't live in the same realities,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, So it wouldn't work. But
Speaker 2: then and then I have a family group chat with
Speaker 2: my literal family who live in my house that the
Speaker 2: children refuse to participate. And they're only bloody fourteen and
Speaker 2: six thirteen and sixteen, and they're like, nah, this is lame,
Speaker 2: thet it. They don't do WhatsApp. They don't like it.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: But why are you doing WhatsApp with your kids because
Speaker 2: it's where the group chat lives.
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, that's your first mistake. Can I
Speaker 4: definitely do that?
Speaker 2: But like so, group chat isn't a big language in
Speaker 2: my world in the same way. And even my friend
Speaker 2: group chats and me I would always call me out
Speaker 2: about this. I'm not very I don't like No, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't really like it. Like I It's not my
Speaker 2: preferred form of communication. So are you a lurker?
Speaker 3: I don't even think you work.
Speaker 2: I hardly look. Oh, like, where are your group chats?
Speaker 4: The group chat is on I message? Oh so just
Speaker 4: like a text yes, so if you have Android people
Speaker 4: in your family, they're not in.
Speaker 2: The group chat. They don't need it. No therefore, Oh
Speaker 2: but it's it just the usability. Yeah, No, I don't
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 4: That stresses me because I'm doing a text message I
Speaker 4: do like a Facebook message. That's the only good thing
Speaker 4: about Facebook is messenger, Instagram messages, Instagram dms, and you
Speaker 4: can also do like you can hide them so like
Speaker 4: they can.
Speaker 2: Disappear and understand how complicated that is for a boomer.
Speaker 3: And I love. Something I love is giving a group
Speaker 3: chat a name, like like I really enjoy that and
Speaker 3: how it evolves over time and then you look at
Speaker 3: it and you're like, where on earth did that name
Speaker 3: come from?
Speaker 2: But it's but it's a vibe.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Holly, yeah, your contribution to group I'm not.
Speaker 2: I'm not really a big group chat. Lots of people aren't.
Speaker 2: And that was what came up in this thread, right,
Speaker 2: It's like some people love a group chat. It's also
Speaker 2: very convenient for a way to communicate with your family,
Speaker 2: but like, not everybody just loves the vibe of it
Speaker 2: or gets into the sort of competitive nature of like
Speaker 2: who can find the best things for it? And then
Speaker 2: that leads to the question of how you do keep
Speaker 2: everybody together? Because what you've got a lot of in
Speaker 2: this thread, and it's also in the show that I
Speaker 2: recommended Women, which is about midlife women, there's a lot
Speaker 2: of sort of sadness about how communication with your adult
Speaker 2: kids can just fade, and it really can. Like you
Speaker 2: two are both from very close families, so you probably
Speaker 2: can't even imagine it. But there are plenty of women
Speaker 2: in particular who are like, my son hasn't called me
Speaker 2: for three weeks, you know, like, oh, hasn't texted, or
Speaker 2: I don't know what's going on. I don't really have
Speaker 2: any insight into their world. And this isn't the case
Speaker 2: for this woman who wrote this message, but I understand
Speaker 2: the impetus of like trying to make it happen. So
Speaker 2: what she's trying to do, and there are lots of
Speaker 2: other good ideas in this thread, is like, if I
Speaker 2: create like a structure, which is every Sunday, we all
Speaker 2: have to jump in in the same way that literally,
Speaker 2: since I left home when I was nineteen, me and
Speaker 2: I call my mum every Sunday night, Like wherever I'm
Speaker 2: in the world, we have a once weekly call, which
Speaker 2: now just seems so obviously we text and stuff in
Speaker 2: between that. But she's trying to create that but in
Speaker 2: a group chat environment. But it also kind of fundamentally
Speaker 2: misunderstands the energy of a group chat, right, which is
Speaker 2: more chaotic.
Speaker 3: Yes, And I think you're right. Some people are group
Speaker 3: chat people and some people aren't. And it's not necessarily
Speaker 3: a sign of how invested someone is in maintaining a relationship,
Speaker 3: like whether or not they're up to date with that.
Speaker 3: There are other ways to go about maintaining those relationships.
Speaker 3: As I said, my my husband's family's.
Speaker 2: Group chat is a miserable place to be. It's just
Speaker 2: nothing happening.
Speaker 3: But it is interesting that as an adult you realize
Speaker 3: that you have to put the same effort into maintaining
Speaker 3: your connections with your siblings and with your parents as
Speaker 3: you do any other social career.
Speaker 2: It's true.
Speaker 3: So Rory's thing is we need to plan regular like
Speaker 3: like once a year we go away together. And the
Speaker 3: thing is that you find as you get older is
Speaker 3: you can so easily not do that. But when somebody
Speaker 3: does it, when somebody just does the initiative and plans it,
Speaker 3: everybody comes, it's bloody amazing. So there are different ways
Speaker 3: of doing it. The other thing I wanted to bring
Speaker 3: to this conversation that I think will really piss.
Speaker 2: Off probably be could I just add one thing? Yeah,
Speaker 2: the most active person in our family group chat is
Speaker 2: my niece, Lyla, who's twenty one, oldest daughter. It's an
Speaker 2: oldest daughter thing, oldest daughter, and she's great and she's
Speaker 2: always posting in there. But then this is an example
Speaker 2: of why you can't have the kurda keategy. She was
Speaker 2: at the brit Awards. It was in Manchester and she's
Speaker 2: at UNI doing events planning, so some of them got
Speaker 2: to go. She's this for from Harry starts doing his
Speaker 2: dance and she knew that would really excite me, So
Speaker 2: of course she puts straight in the group chat like
Speaker 2: a little video of do you think my mom knew
Speaker 2: who that was?
Speaker 3: That was?
Speaker 2: So then we've got fourteen like where's Lila?
Speaker 4: Who's that persona?
Speaker 2: I'm going to google him? Oh he seems like a
Speaker 2: nice guy.
Speaker 1: What do you think of the top?
Speaker 2: I'm like, this isn't just my mom, who's amazing. But
Speaker 2: it's like, that's not what group chats are now. It's
Speaker 2: supposed to just be like, oh I can't believe you're there,
Speaker 2: you know, or whatever, or like is he in a
Speaker 2: stupid little smile or whatever?
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know what I mean. If you're not
Speaker 4: in the vibe, it doesn't work anyway.
Speaker 3: Sorry, you're derailing the conversation. So this is what will
Speaker 3: piss you off. I came across this excellent article in
Speaker 3: its publication called Expert Editor. Anyway, I hadn't seen it before,
Speaker 3: but it was a really good article, and the headline was,
Speaker 3: and I'm not saying that this is the experience of
Speaker 3: our out louder who's asking for advice, but it really
Speaker 3: got me thinking that the headline was, I worked fifty
Speaker 3: hour weeks for thirty five years so my kids could
Speaker 3: have a better life. Now they live in different cities,
Speaker 3: and I eate dinner alone. And it was about there's
Speaker 3: this great quote that said true that said, I know,
Speaker 3: that said have you ever noticed how we measure success
Speaker 3: in distance? How far we've come from where we started,
Speaker 3: how far our kids fixated, our achievements. Maybe the real
Speaker 3: measure should be proximity. How close we stayed to the
Speaker 3: people who mattered. Oh, how present we were in the
Speaker 3: moments that shaped them. And this guy, this dad, was
Speaker 3: basically saying, we text regularly with video call on birthdays,
Speaker 3: we meet up for holidays when our schedules a line,
Speaker 3: but the daily rhythm of family life. I was working
Speaker 3: toward that disappeared while I was busy working. I mean
Speaker 3: firstly that like you know that I could for a week. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that hit me because I was like spending all my
Speaker 3: time at home, which is not the point. But here's
Speaker 3: the thing.
Speaker 2: This is the tricky thing about that, right, because you're
Speaker 2: of course he's right, like if your family don't live
Speaker 2: near you, and if you're not particularly close and or
Speaker 2: I mean and when I say close, I mean physics close.
Speaker 2: But also you know, then the reality is you will
Speaker 2: have kids, they will grow up, they will move away,
Speaker 2: and you won't be spending every day with them. And
Speaker 2: is that a failure? Like I think that is a
Speaker 2: that's sort of like a cultural perspective about whether or
Speaker 2: not that's a failure because what I take from that,
Speaker 2: and obviously this is partly my own life experience, but
Speaker 2: also is that as a parent, I think you cannot
Speaker 2: hank put every egg in your kids basket. You know
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like the people who really struggle when
Speaker 2: their kids move away and or they've retired or whatever
Speaker 2: it is, is that that was everything and now it's not.
Speaker 2: Whereas if you've got lots of other things going on
Speaker 2: in your life. It's like my kids love me, but
Speaker 2: I'm only going to see them three times a year
Speaker 2: because they live in Queensland.
Speaker 3: And maybe success's okay, success as a parent is that
Speaker 3: your kids are so busy living their own lives and
Speaker 3: so independent that that is a struggle to keep things
Speaker 3: going and keep a relationship going via messages and all
Speaker 3: of that.
Speaker 2: But I don't think it's also like what your experience
Speaker 2: was that affects that, because when I look at my kids,
Speaker 2: and I know, I already get teary thinking about the
Speaker 2: fact my daughter's so close to you know, sort of independence,
Speaker 2: but I just assume that they will live far away
Speaker 2: from me. It never even curs to me that they
Speaker 2: would live around the corner. And who knows what they'll
Speaker 2: decide to do. Maybe they will live around the corner,
Speaker 2: but that would be weird for me, and I would
Speaker 2: love it, but that would be you know what I mean. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so much of this is all about your own cultural
Speaker 2: experience too.
Speaker 3: Anyway, please can exactly, but I just thought it was
Speaker 3: I just thought it was interesting that maybe a lot
Speaker 3: of people find and I'm thinking the same thing that like,
Speaker 3: you want to push kids and you want them to
Speaker 3: like the idea of kids living overseas and all of
Speaker 3: that is incredible, And then but then I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: you kind of have to sacrifice that proximity and impromptu
Speaker 3: family dinners or whatever it is. And the group chats
Speaker 3: are the way that we maintain it in twenty twenty six,
Speaker 3: But I don't think it necessarily brings that feeling of
Speaker 3: closeness that people might be craving. So my point is,
Speaker 3: sometimes you got to see people in real life.
Speaker 2: If you've got great ideas out louders of how to
Speaker 2: stay in touch with families and how to use group
Speaker 2: chats best, tell us, because I think we all want
Speaker 2: to share them because it is Holiday Monday for us,
Speaker 2: although not for all of you. I know, we thought
Speaker 2: we'd throw in some extra recods and a bit weird
Speaker 2: recos like not necessarily books, TV shows, but things we
Speaker 2: can't stop thinking about, etc. Who wants to go for.
Speaker 4: I can go first, Both of you know. I'm on
Speaker 4: my hobby grind. I'm trying to find a hobby.
Speaker 2: I love that it's a grind. It's really hard.
Speaker 4: It's really stressed. My hobby is being stressed out about
Speaker 4: what hobby I want to have on I've been reading
Speaker 4: this substack called Keepsake by Juliana Sealguero, and it's one
Speaker 4: of those substacks that's kind of like a magazine, like
Speaker 4: it's beautiful, it's perfectly curated. She does a lot of collages.
Speaker 4: It's very nice to look at. She does this thing
Speaker 4: called Monthly tens, so in her notes app every month
Speaker 4: she'll write ten things she wants to do that month,
Speaker 4: and then the purpose of it. She writes ten things
Speaker 4: to do if I feel like it, and without any
Speaker 4: consequences if I don't. And she does things like she
Speaker 4: on her list, She'll have kiss someone, read three books,
Speaker 4: pick a flower, meet a dog, write a letter. So
Speaker 4: I think it's about little things in your day to
Speaker 4: day that can make you more observant about the nice
Speaker 4: things that you're doing, a bit gratitudy, but without calling it,
Speaker 4: which is actually what I liked about the out louder
Speaker 4: dilemma we had. Like I do think it's really nice
Speaker 4: to recognize your highs and lows of the week or
Speaker 4: the day. And I feel like this list she does,
Speaker 4: it's the one thing that I've been able to do
Speaker 4: and kind of stick to.
Speaker 3: It's the without any conceptions, so that makes two different
Speaker 3: everything off.
Speaker 2: What's on your list for this month? Okay, May? From May,
Speaker 2: it's around the corner, have lunch with my nana. Oh,
Speaker 2: go for a late night walk, get Nana out of
Speaker 2: the group, chat, mount my TV onto my wall. It's
Speaker 2: been on a bench for two years. But no consequences
Speaker 2: if you don't.
Speaker 4: No consequences. Read a book, any book. I just want
Speaker 4: to read one book. Visit a farmer's market, buy a
Speaker 4: birthday dress. It's my birthday in May. Make for Kasha
Speaker 4: and let's be honest. That one's if you do.
Speaker 3: You got to bring some of.
Speaker 2: How to do that. Recently, I'll show you that I have.
Speaker 2: Try a new cocktail. Come behind that one. That's a
Speaker 2: great one.
Speaker 4: Go out for Korean barbecue and go for a walk
Speaker 4: in the rain.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so romantic.
Speaker 3: I love though. And it's kind of like goals slash
Speaker 3: future slash excitement, but without.
Speaker 4: And I can feel like really small, like say hi
Speaker 4: to my neighbor.
Speaker 2: The other thing that's funny is because I know what
Speaker 2: Clare Stevens is about to recommend this, Like, couldn't be
Speaker 2: more different.
Speaker 3: About my stage. Actually, yes.
Speaker 2: Are very evident, which is the whole thing.
Speaker 3: So I saw this Instagram reel by a creator called
Speaker 3: Melissa Lawler and it was about micro holidays, and I'm
Speaker 3: obsessed and can't stop thinking about my own. Here's what
Speaker 3: she said.
Speaker 2: It's so interesting.
Speaker 1: My top five micro holidays as a mum. Number one,
Speaker 1: in my opinion, the greatest. The goat is the car
Speaker 1: walk around. That is, after you click your kids into
Speaker 1: their car set, You've got about five to seven seconds
Speaker 1: of walking around the back of the car till you
Speaker 1: get in the driver's site and the air never smelt
Speaker 1: so sweet. You can breathe, it's quiet. I put this
Speaker 1: in number one because you can have multiple of these
Speaker 1: a day. Now, shower something explanatory. I like to say
Speaker 1: the amount of time that your partners taking in the
Speaker 1: toilet in the morning. Double that that's your shower time.
Speaker 3: Okay, wow, it just I saw this and I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, it's so true and it's really reframed
Speaker 3: certain things. One thing for me that's a great micro holiday.
Speaker 3: Doctors appointment, amazing turn up and I'm like, I could
Speaker 3: be in the mouth dives over here.
Speaker 2: Eva's like try a new cocktail, go for a walk
Speaker 2: in the.
Speaker 4: Rain, You're like, oh, I get to go to the doctor,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, wow, Claire, that's really cool.
Speaker 3: I literally was like, I wonder if at this point
Speaker 3: giving birth, giving birth will feel like a holiday, Like
Speaker 3: we'll feel like a micro holiday.
Speaker 4: I'm like, wow, I get to like, maybe you can
Speaker 4: put your micro holidays as like your ten and then
Speaker 4: we can compare a list.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll be like I had a really long shout,
Speaker 3: but my other one is getting into bed at night
Speaker 3: and just scrolling for our It's really about it's not
Speaker 3: a micro holiday, but getting into bed at night and
Speaker 3: being like, ah, the day is done. I'll take a
Speaker 3: moment for myself and three hours later I have ruined
Speaker 3: my life.
Speaker 4: That's what you need.
Speaker 3: So, yeah, let us know your micro holidays. I'd love to.
Speaker 2: It's so funny. The thing I can't stop thinking about
Speaker 2: is how smart out louders are with eggplants. So on
Speaker 2: the weekend, God, it's gonna be some gardening pick. I
Speaker 2: picked an egg plant. I grew some eggplants. Picked one, right,
Speaker 2: do they get yours? Big? Well, I've got two? Is
Speaker 2: it palic? I have two guys that have the skinny
Speaker 2: long Lebanese ones. And then the big eggie ones, right,
Speaker 2: I picked a big eggie one. I was like, well,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna have real fun with this audience, I know.
Speaker 2: I was like, what do I do with this? Like?
Speaker 4: What about?
Speaker 2: What are we doing with eggplant?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: And I thought my options were probably like rattatui, maybe
Speaker 2: a babaganosh Are you fucking kidding me? What the outluders
Speaker 2: can do with eggplants? I now have a list as
Speaker 2: long as my arm. And the top player on this
Speaker 2: list is Nagi. Of course, yeah, because Nagi rules and
Speaker 2: the out louder is a Naggi intersection is strong. Yes,
Speaker 2: Miso eggplant. So do you know what I did? This
Speaker 2: is the piss ofs easiest recipe ever. So that's why
Speaker 2: I can't stop thinking about it. I cut my eggplant
Speaker 2: in half, crisscross with a knife, criss cross, right, but
Speaker 2: just so it's still together. You brush on olive oil,
Speaker 2: and you brush on some miso paste and then you
Speaker 2: just put that shit in the oven and you just
Speaker 2: leave it. Go about your day, Go and have a
Speaker 2: cocktail or a walk in the rain, Just walk around
Speaker 2: your car sometime. Go back free the eggplant half an hour,
Speaker 2: forty minutes, whatever, that like the longer the better, mushy soft,
Speaker 2: because you know the problem with eggplant is off Well
Speaker 2: maybe you don't, but it's like can be spongy and yucky,
Speaker 2: mushy delicious. Oh oh my god, I'm going to share
Speaker 2: what the out lout haers tell me to do with
Speaker 2: egg plants. But that is what I can't stop thinking about.
Speaker 2: You're alone of very smart bitches, and we appreciate you.
Speaker 2: We hope whether you've got a holiday today or not,
Speaker 2: you had a great day. We'll be back in your ears.
Speaker 2: What Wednesday, Yeah, well maybe Tuesday with Mia yeah. Otherwise Wednesday, yeah,
Speaker 2: and we love you.
Speaker 4: Bye bye