WEBVTT - Clare Stephens Would Like To Cancel Trad Wives 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.080 We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land we're recording 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:03.720 on today. 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:12.560 I already feel bad enough about that. Sometimes it's like 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:19.120 you're not putting the idea into my head. Hello, and 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:22.919 welcome back to Eat Sleep, Shit Repeat. The podcast soon 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:25.400 to have a name change, and if Kiri Cells had 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:28.520 her way, you would be referred to as Snott's because 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:32.839 she wanted to call it eat sleep snot Repeat. What 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:35.440 the actual fuck. I'm Kelly McCarran. 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:37.839 And I'm Kiri's Cells, and Kell was pretty brutal with 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:38.479 her feedback. 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:40.680 We're going to get straight into things today because we 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:43.080 have one hell of a guest later on in the episode. 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:45.600 But first, peek and pit. But we're gonna make it 0:00:45.640 --> 0:00:48.000 snappy because our guest is more interesting than our silly 0:00:48.000 --> 0:00:49.239 little problems in offense. 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:52.640 Yeah, Queen through the. 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:55.880 Ship and I'm up first this week, so I'll start 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:56.760 with my pit. 0:00:57.520 --> 0:01:01.320 Last Friday, I was went for a lovely afternoon at 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:03.279 my sister in law's house and we just had such 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:03.800 a great time. 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:05.360 She was giving me all of her old. 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:08.320 Daycare clothes for rue, all hanging out, and then about 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:09.920 two o'clock, I was like, all right, let's go. We'll 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:13.000 go get some sushi, get back to our normal Friday 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:15.800 mother daughter day with the girls. So I bundled the 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:17.880 girls into the car and off we went. I got 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.800 maybe just around the corner, and the sun was in 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:23.560 my eyes, and so I pulled down my visor and 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:29.520 guess what was right behind my sun visor? A huge, huge, hairy, 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:34.640 long leg, big bodied Huntsman spider, and I lost my shit. 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:38.720 I was on a main road and it was so bad. 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:40.600 I happened to also be drinking out of my drink 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:43.360 bottle at time, and I used my other hand to 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:45.600 pull down the visor. So at one stage I realized 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:48.280 I was driving with no hands on the wheel because 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:50.840 I automatically pushed the visor up to try and squish 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:54.400 the spider, realizing it's not flush. So when I pulled 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:57.640 it down, the spider was still there and then scurried. 0:01:57.200 --> 0:02:00.280 Down onto the windshield the front. 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:02.760 Then I realized, okay, I had to like clock into 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:04.360 gear here, Like what am I going to do? The 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:06.480 kids are in the back. I'm definitely scared of spiders. 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:09.679 I was pretty much hyperventilating by this point and screaming 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:13.080 and ru was like screaming in the back because I'm screaming. 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:16.560 I managed to get across four rows of traffic and 0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:19.080 then I just like throw my drink bottle with all 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:21.760 the water in it at the spider. Then I just 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:24.760 pulled into a random driveway, called my sister in law 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:28.200 and she switched into gear, came and got me. She 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:30.000 was like, you get in my car with Rue. I'll 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:33.240 stay with Suki. She checked that Suki was okay, and 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:34.520 we drove back to her house. 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:37.800 Jim should do Survivor, like, honest, she should do Survivor. 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:40.840 She would win. She's a woman you want around. 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:43.480 She just switched into gear and she's really scared of 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:45.080 spiders too, But she was like, I haven't seen it, 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:47.480 so in my mind it doesn't exist. So she had 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:49.960 a good look, couldn't find it. Ended up spraying the 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:52.520 car with rid. She was like, you need to sit here, 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:54.920 eat food, have a glass of water, because she was like, 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:58.400 I have never seen you like that, rattled. She had 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:00.320 to move my car because it was blocking her curR 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:02.760 in and as she moved it, she saw the spider 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:04.920 kind of dying and crawling along the back window. So 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:08.200 we located the spider, but I could not drive home. 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:08.760 I called. 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:11.120 Charlie told him what happened, and I was like, I'm 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:13.200 not driving home, like I'm too nervous with the girls 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.160 in the car. It's also been raining heaps. It started 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:19.280 raining again, so he ended up picking me up later. 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:21.680 Can nature just stay outside? 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:23.520 Yeah, I agree, and not in the car. 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.000 It's like, you know what happens, it's from parking under 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:28.800 trees and huntsmen's drop out of trees into the car 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:32.399 and because they're warm, they crawl inside. So avoid parking 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:36.400 under trees when you're parking outside and hopefully that will help. 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.080 Can you please tell me now what your peak is 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:40.480 because I've got the hebgbis. 0:03:41.320 --> 0:03:41.560 Yes. 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:46.000 So our family were in town, Charlie's sister, George and 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:49.400 her partner and our little new baby, Ronnie, so Suki's 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:53.000 little new cousin. It's just like so exciting for them 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:55.440 to come to town, Like they came at Easter and 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:58.080 we just had the best best time and. 0:03:58.000 --> 0:03:58.800 Then they came back. 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:01.080 Actually, George and I had hens that we went to 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:04.120 on the Saturday, and George and I used to live 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:05.920 in Sydney together, so it was a little bit of 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:09.080 like the nostalgia for those times that we lived in 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.880 the same city, and then just all of us being 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:14.720 together on a Sunday at the local BOWLO like having 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:18.000 family time. We don't get to do it because they live, 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:20.440 you know, up north, so it's just. 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:22.599 Really nice anytime they come to town. 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:25.679 And even with my sister in law Gem and her husband, 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:28.680 like Charlie's brother that live here. They've got three girls 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:31.599 and Rue is just obsessed with them, obsessed with them. 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:34.159 So I think the most time we all spend together, 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:36.919 I just see their little cousin relationships. 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:38.599 Cousin relationships the best. 0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:42.000 It's just so sweet and they just play so well together. 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:47.440 It's the big, supportive, nurturing, loving family that I have 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:50.920 always really wanted, and I feel like so happy to. 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:54.560 Have all, Like twenty year old Keys so happy. 0:04:54.760 --> 0:04:57.640 She's like, whoa, anyway, what's your pit? What's your pit? 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:02.719 My pit is that I'm just so behind on my 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:06.760 comms and I'm just so bad at it and it's 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:09.159 really getting me down at the moment. It's not just 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:14.040 one area as well. It's like Facebook, Messenger, Instagram, my emails, 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:17.560 my actual text messages from my best friends. I'll go 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:19.800 on there sometimes to text someone and I'll be like, oh, 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:22.719 they messaged me three weeks ago and I just never responded. 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:26.080 And I know that you're going to be like, oh, Kelly, 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:29.000 give yourself a little bit of slack. You're very busy, 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:34.320 but you are also notoriously bad on comms, so I 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:36.680 feel like you're just making an excuse for both of 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:40.320 us being shit. So if anyone has like a hack 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:44.080 that if they were really bad at comms and then 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:46.440 they now are good at it and they have like 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:49.520 a weird little secret hack, please let me know what 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:52.400 that hack is, because it's really getting to me because 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:55.560 it adds like this other layer of stress that I'm 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:56.919 letting people down all the time. 0:05:57.080 --> 0:05:59.760 Can I give you a hack now? Emoji is, using 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:04.640 those emojis, doing voice notes, using Siri to dictate messages 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:07.920 when you're in the car. It's really good. Like literally, 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:09.719 I say it all the time, Hey, sirius and Kelly 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:11.520 knew McCarry in a message, that's what you're saved in 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:13.360 my phone as and it'll be like what do you 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:16.599 want to to say? But I think taking the stress 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:19.680 out of the response. Don't be like, oh I need 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:21.240 to write back later, it's going to be too long. 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:23.239 If it's going to be too long to a voice note. 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:26.000 If it's going to be too long, dictate the message. 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:28.599 Anyway, that's my pit. My peak is that two weeks 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.880 ago Key, I had to call her straight away and 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:33.919 she was so proud of me. I had proper canulas 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:37.200 in my face and I didn't faint, I didn't get diarrhea, 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:40.840 nervous poos, I didn't vomit, I didn't have to light well. 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:42.560 I did have to lie down, sorry, but like I 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:47.119 didn't have a panic attack. I was okay, what the hell? 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:49.680 It was amazing, what a win. I cannot believe you 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:50.560 didn't pass out. 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:53.720 Why does no one else not have gas? Because it 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.360 it didn't even really do anything. It was just such 0:06:56.360 --> 0:06:59.719 a good distraction. Yeah, So I was focusing on that 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.320 and deep breaths and all that stuff that they tell 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:04.800 you to do. Anyway, I don't even know. I was 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:07.839 just so proud. Of course, if it was anywhere near 0:07:07.839 --> 0:07:11.760 a vein, I'm sure I would still have an absolute meltdown. 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:14.440 But the fact that I did something so intensive because 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:17.160 a pr organized it, because like this new treatment in 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:20.120 Australia that I was trialing for work, and I didn't 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:23.120 know anything about it, which is my silly fault. But 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:25.360 I turn up and then the doctor's like, you know, 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:27.360 I'm signing everything, and she goes to your okay with 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:30.040 canulas in the face, and I said, I'm sorry, Oh 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:34.880 my god, no I am not okay, but I was there, Yeah, 0:07:34.880 --> 0:07:35.480 what are you going to do? 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:35.960 Walk out? 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:39.440 And also you know then I would have ruined the 0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:41.720 relationship with the pr if I'd walked out and not 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:44.080 ruined it. But there are just so many layers of 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:47.200 reasons why I couldn't just bail out at the last second. 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:50.000 So I was, oh, anyway, I did really well. 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:52.480 I'm honestly so proud of you because it wasn't just 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:53.040 a needle. 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:57.120 It was a canula, like a thick and. 0:07:57.160 --> 0:08:00.440 Like going underneath the skin for quite a while. Reminded 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:02.800 me almost like LiPo movements. You know when you see 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:05.080 hears of LiPo and they go back and forth under 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:07.080 the skin and you can kind of see the instrument. 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.239 That's what it was, and that was in your face, 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:10.600 Like I couldn't do that. 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:12.960 Luke was making a noise watching it. 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:14.320 I would too. 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:22.480 It was anyway, I'm proud of you to. 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:25.120 Talk to me sometimes. 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:29.800 Dolores sometimes you have to be a high rideing bitch 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:30.760 to survive. 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:34.880 Okay, we have our first guest led Can I just 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:36.480 be a bitch for a sec chat? 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:37.800 And it is a good one. 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:42.280 Our guest today is none other than the delightful Claire Stevens, 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.040 friend of the pod and friend of ours. You definitely 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:47.360 have read, watched, or listened to some of Claire's work 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:50.199 because she is that bloody talented. It's actually kind of 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:53.679 annoying because she's so smart. She's just one of those 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:56.520 people that ticks every box. She is so smart and talented, 0:08:56.720 --> 0:09:00.680 but she's also just really funny and really nice. Claire 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:04.440 is a digital content creator, screenwriter, editor and podcaster. She's 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:07.120 the former editor in chief at Mumma Mea, which is 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:09.680 obviously where we met her, and she has produced some 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.840 of the site's most viral content. She's the brains and 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:16.680 talent behind the top comedy podcast Canceled, which she hosted 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:19.840 with her twin Jesse for years and it was always charting. 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:23.280 She also launched the podcast but Are You Happy, which 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:26.640 debuted at number twenty three in the whole country on 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:30.320 the Australian Podcast Ranker and went on to be wildly successful. 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.200 She works as a writer and producer on the Binge 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:36.520 series Strife, and her first novel, The Worst Thing I've 0:09:36.559 --> 0:09:39.720 Ever Done, is due to be released in spring. Claire 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:42.440 is also mum to a hilarious one year old Matilda 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:45.880 and a longtime shitter. She has been with us, supporting 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:49.080 us from the beginning, and we're so delighted to have 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.560 her on. Claire Stevens, Welcome to the pod. 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:56.200 Who I'm so excited to be here. I am such 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:59.240 a devoted listener every episode. 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:02.080 We know, so we just adore you. So that's why 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.880 we're like, even when we're reformatting the show, you were 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:07.680 the first person on our examples of like a shitter 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:08.880 led episodes. 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.319 Oh my gosh. When I heard you were having shitters on, 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:12.880 I was like, oh my god, should I reach out? 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:15.960 But you know what, actually my example was it was 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:18.360 Claire Stevens, how the hell did I write a book 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:19.800 with a new boy? 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:21.439 Yes, you did do that. 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:23.560 It's not an aspirational story, I'll tell you. 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:27.800 That, listen. I'm sure it involves lots of tears. Yes, yes, 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:31.319 many many, not just from Matilda. That's not what you 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:33.280 want to vent about today. No, what do you want 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:34.120 to venture about today. 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:37.320 Off, I have a rant, and I have to apologize 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:38.560 because it's longer than a minute. 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:40.480 That's okay, to pease, I realized. 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:42.760 Okay, well, yeah, we weren't timing it, were we. 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:43.320 Whoops? 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:44.839 We make a lot of rules and we break it 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:46.320 every single week. 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:49.960 Yes, okay, are we ready for my Rantay? Okay? My 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:53.319 rant is generally about tradwives, but it goes in strange directions. 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:55.600 Everywhere I look, I'm being told that your children are 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:57.520 only young for such a short period of time, and 0:10:57.520 --> 0:11:00.240 it is so incredibly important to spend that time with them, 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:03.840 that to work is actually morally wrong. There are conservative 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:06.480 commentators who say feminism has gone too far and it 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:08.760 pushed women outside the home, and now women are less 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:10.719 happy than ever because deep down we want to be 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:12.880 at home with our babies, but we've been forced by 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:15.360 angry feminists to go to work, and that stuffed up 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:17.240 the economy to the point where women now need to 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.959 work in order for most households to function. I want 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:21.720 to acknowledge that I do know a lot of women 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:24.080 who have to go back to work before they feel 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.320 emotionally ready, and there are a lot of mums who 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.320 would love to spend the early years at home with 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:30.000 their kids, and there are a lot of mums who 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:33.240 do and to be totally transparent. If money wasn't as 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:35.520 much of a pressure, I would probably work a little 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:39.840 bit less. However, the tradwife aesthetic slash discourse has got 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:43.679 to go. So much of this conservative bullshit is idealizing 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:47.439 a golden age that never existed. It never happened. There 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:50.400 was no time in history where women walked around barefoot 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:53.680 in silk slightly sexy nineties, doing crafts with their small 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:57.320 families and being this imaginary perfect parent. This childhood they 0:11:57.320 --> 0:12:00.360 are asking us to create, never happened. Look at it 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:03.160 from the child's perspective. A generation ago, it was my 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:05.880 mum working with too many kids and not enough money, 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.360 no offense. Mum, I spent a lot of time in 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:10.840 front of the television and inventing games with my siblings, 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:13.439 and it was glorious. Two generations ago, it was my 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:18.320 nana also working several jobs with seven kids who got 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:20.960 no one on one time with their mother. Ever, three 0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:24.320 generations ago, it was more children because contraception didn't exist. 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:27.920 So where my time goes to paid employment, that woman's 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:31.240 time went to her other fourteen children, and washing clothes 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:34.040 and cooking and cleaning took longer because the technology wasn't 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:38.400 there to expedite it. Before that, before industrialization and early capitalism, 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:41.000 the nuclear family didn't even exist. We lived in multi 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:44.000 generational homes which provided a village. So the grandmothers and 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:46.160 the aunties and the cousins were all helping out, and 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:48.280 everyone was caring for each other. So a mother might 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:50.600 be caring for a child but also their mother and 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:53.960 also whoever else needed it. And cooking and cleaning is work. 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:56.840 You cannot be constantly fully engaged with your child while 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.559 cooking and cleaning. It isn't possible. This idea of complete 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:02.360 self safe in the service of one child is a face, 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:04.560 and I refuse to be beat up with a made 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:07.440 up stick. I'll also say that that guy who did 0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:10.199 that podcast episode about wanting a partner who didn't work 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:12.840 and just goes on hot girl walks and is happy 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:14.520 to see him at the end of the day, sir, 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:17.800 it sounds like you're unaware that life also happens to women. 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.640 Even if a woman doesn't work and doesn't fucking hate 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:22.880 housework like I do, she still might get the flu, 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:25.079 and her family member might be unwell, and she might 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:27.000 break her leg, and she might be stressed because the 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:29.360 fridge broke, and you need to be there to support her. 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:31.760 You not wanting to deal with the emotional load of 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.240 your partner having a job. Is actually you not wanting 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:36.439 to deal with the emotional load of having a partner. 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:38.839 But that is another topic altogether. I just wanted to 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:41.760 get that in. In conclusion, research shows that even with 0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:44.080 more mums and dads working outside the home than ever, 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:46.720 modern parents are spending twice the amount of time with 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:49.800 their kids and parents fifty years ago. Stop glorifying a 0:13:49.840 --> 0:13:53.040 golden age that never fucking existed, you misogynistic to us. 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:53.800 I'm done. 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:59.120 I'm sorry, well done getting that off your chest. 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:00.360 I actually really do you. 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:04.920 Look every time. 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:08.120 I see those freakin videos on social media that are 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:11.360 saying like you know that one, it's Jordan Peterson's voice 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:17.360 in the background and it's like young, yes, young man. 0:14:17.800 --> 0:14:21.400 It's just so romanticized as well, because it's like, yeah 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:23.800 they are, but you know what, you still have to 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:27.200 pay bills when they're young, and they scream at you 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:28.200 were lost, yes. 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:31.720 And like it just never happened. This year that we 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:34.200 are idealizing, Like I think the act of being a 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:38.360 parent is a constant exercise in guilt because you're never 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:41.320 gonna feel like you're enough for your child, and that 0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:43.760 is kind of love, Like that's kind of what love is, 0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:45.840 feeling like you always want to give me because if. 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:48.000 You feel like you've given enough, well, you know what, 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:51.000 you're probably pretty shit. You're a psychopath who doesn't love 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:53.160 them that much. Exactly if you think you're done. 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:57.000 There's another like midwife such researcher who I always see 0:14:57.040 --> 0:15:00.200 on TikTok and she is always like going on about 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:03.280 but breastfeeding and like the mum needing to be at 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:05.160 home for the first five years, and her vibe is 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:06.560 like if you're not going to be at home for 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:08.040 the first five years, like why did you even have 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:08.440 a child? 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:11.920 And I'm like, well, that's how we all bought there 0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:12.480 would be no. 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:14.360 Popular children human being. 0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:18.880 I don't think I've ever heard it summarized so well 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:23.320 with the generational differences, yes, and the invention of machines 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:25.560 to help alleviate that stuff, Like, I don't think I've 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:28.480 ever heard read it that clearly because it. 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:29.160 Is so true. 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:31.120 I mean I'm struggling so much at the moment with 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:34.120 the house, and it gets me down so much, to 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:35.680 the point where like people wanted to come and see 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:38.160 Suuki as a newborn, and I was saying, like, no, 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:39.040 but is. 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:41.560 That because you go on your phone and you see 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:44.920 everyone with their perfect esthetic house where it looks like 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:47.480 this kid doesn't even live. Yes, yes, And all the 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:50.720 trad wife content where they've got like full makeup, beautiful 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:52.880 gown on, it doesn't help and attached to their nipple, 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:54.920 and it's like, that's just not realistic. 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:58.760 It doesn't help some of those creators who are doing 0:15:58.800 --> 0:15:59.400 that content. 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:02.320 What is it like when you turn that camera off? 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:05.640 Because I'm telling you, I'm spiraling about not even being 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:06.920 able to show up and I don't even care what 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:09.600 I look like on social media, but how you showing 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.560 up so perfectly? Like surely there has to be a 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:15.920 toll on that person showing up in that way. And 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:17.400 then the other point I wanted to make was just 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:19.720 about the fact that all of these tradwives are working. 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:23.080 Oh okay, that is the pyramid scheme of at all 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:26.360 every panel I see where it's a woman and she's like, 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:28.360 here's the case for not working. I'm like, what do 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:30.800 you call speaking on a panel? Yeah, on a panel 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:33.880 writing all of that. And I'm genuinely not saying that 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:36.800 there is anything wrong with mums who stay home. I reckon, 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:39.280 in an ideal world, I would love to have a 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:40.080 period like that. 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:43.160 Why would you go for a hot girl walk every day? 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:45.480 I would freaking love that. And I think a lot 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:48.040 of people would love that or have done that. I 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:52.720 know so many incredible women who spent five years, seven years, whatever, yeah, 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:55.040 and like, good on them. I'm parts of being a 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:58.320 jealous of that. However, it's the tradwives who are like 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:00.720 making a living out of time talking about it, and 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:03.480 I'm like, no, no, no, no no. The definition of 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:07.240 what you are proposing is someone that's invisible, like technically 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:10.480 invisible because they're not writing or communicating. 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:13.280 The other thing about it is like the class version 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:16.120 of it, because there are historically there's only one real 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:18.720 group of people that could actually afford not to work exactly. 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:21.040 And then the other thing is that the muddling of 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:24.160 stay at home mum and trad wife because I never 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:25.800 thought about it in that way, but I think what's 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:28.640 really clever and the way that trad Wives has kind 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:31.760 of got more momentum with it is piggybacking onto that. 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:33.880 So people that don't actually want to be a trad 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.919 wife are now all lumped into. You know, you might 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:38.200 want to be a stay at home mum, but you 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:39.440 don't want to be a trad wife, but you're a 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:42.840 lumped in together. So now there's this even higher level 0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:47.120 of excellence perfection that we're meant to reach is stay 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:47.960 at home mums. 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:51.199 Yea, and is so performative and it is so classist. 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:54.720 It is so classist, and it's something I hadn't realized before, 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:56.399 Like everyone looks at those mums and I was like, 0:17:56.520 --> 0:18:01.240 oh yeah, but be you know, objectively beautiful, have a 0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:04.600 perfect house, have the option not to have to go 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:05.080 to work. 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:07.200 Every day even though you are going to work every 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:10.399 day by filming content, going on past yes, monetizing, and they're. 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:14.760 Probably making a whole lot more money than you. That's ridiculous. 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:17.840 Then their partner swans in like as if they've had 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:18.760 such a hard day. 0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:19.720