Speaker 1: People always ask me, like, if you could go back
Speaker 1: and change it, would you?
Speaker 2: No way?
Speaker 1: Because everything in my life, everything's happened, the good, the bad,
Speaker 1: ugly has brought me to this moment today and I
Speaker 1: love my life.
Speaker 3: Hello.
Speaker 4: I'm Kate Lanebrook, host of No Filter. Today's guest is
Speaker 4: Sophie Delizio. Most Australians met Sophie when she was two
Speaker 4: years old after a car crashed into her childcare center
Speaker 4: and left her fighting for her life. She survived, and
Speaker 4: then extraordinarily survived a second catastrophic accident just a few
Speaker 4: years later. She grew up in hospitals, in the headlines
Speaker 4: and in the hearts of a country that has been
Speaker 4: quietly following her ever since. But the woman sitting across
Speaker 4: from me today isn't the little girl from those front pages.
Speaker 4: She's twenty five. She's married to her childhood sweetheart, and
Speaker 4: a new mom working out like every new mum, hold
Speaker 4: on to herself in the middle of it all. We
Speaker 4: talk about what it's actually like to build an identity
Speaker 4: beyond the story people think they already know about you,
Speaker 4: about motherhood, and the particular fear a cesarean brought up
Speaker 4: for someone who's spent a lifetime in operating theaters about
Speaker 4: why she stepped away from social media completely and what
Speaker 4: brought her back, and about her new podcast and why
Speaker 4: she's finally ready to talk about.
Speaker 3: Her own accidents on her own terms.
Speaker 4: This is the extraordinary, Sophie Dealizio.
Speaker 3: Sophie Dealisio, welcome to No Filter.
Speaker 2: Thank you. I honored to be here.
Speaker 4: Well, you had a bit of an ordeal finding us,
Speaker 4: which we were just discussing. It involved you having to
Speaker 4: navigate your way from another part of the building.
Speaker 3: Everything looks sort of foreign.
Speaker 4: But I was surprised because when I look at the
Speaker 4: achievements of your life life, I imagine that you're an
Speaker 4: extremely well organized person.
Speaker 2: I try to be.
Speaker 1: My husband would say otherwise, but he knows the other
Speaker 1: side of me, and usually he's the one picking up
Speaker 1: the pieces.
Speaker 2: But no, I try to be organized. A love a list.
Speaker 4: I make a list of lists and it's very s
Speaker 4: Oh really, and do you cross them off?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yes, I'll do the most mundane task just to take
Speaker 1: it off, like I'll right like wake.
Speaker 2: Up, and I'll take that off, wake up. That's all the.
Speaker 4: Small things that's really going lowest common denominator, wake up.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, but actually that's a good ticks for people
Speaker 4: who feel like they're really in a hole in life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a win.
Speaker 2: You've at least done that, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: Well, you know, it's interesting talking about waking up because you,
Speaker 4: as a little girl came probably as close to death
Speaker 4: as it's possible to come, and as a consequence.
Speaker 3: Of which you were really held in the heart of
Speaker 3: the nation from that point.
Speaker 4: In two thousand and three, you were two years old
Speaker 4: and I had just had my first baby, Lewis, And
Speaker 4: you know, you're a mother now, so you know that
Speaker 4: there are certain that the children of the world sort
Speaker 4: of feel like your children when you've just had a baby.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, And so it feels like I've spent a lot
Speaker 4: of my life with you.
Speaker 3: But you're very young. You're twenty five.
Speaker 4: I am, but I and a lot of people have
Speaker 4: known you for a lot of your life.
Speaker 2: I get that a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's your mass.
Speaker 2: Really lovely to hear. I wish I knew everyone as
Speaker 2: well as they know me.
Speaker 3: Well, that would take a huge capacity.
Speaker 4: But is an interesting thing because as a result of
Speaker 4: the injuries that you sustained when you were little, you're
Speaker 4: quite distinctive as well, aside from the fact that we've
Speaker 4: seen your face on magazines and you know, but so
Speaker 4: people recognize you when they see you, and do they
Speaker 4: then put the pieces together of who you are? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I think my husband's very perceptive to this, and he'll
Speaker 1: see people noticing me from a distance and then thinking
Speaker 1: to themselves, so do I go up?
Speaker 2: Do I not?
Speaker 1: Most of the time people come up, and it's always
Speaker 1: lovely to hear the impact my story has had on
Speaker 1: them and what, you know, the views that has shown
Speaker 1: them for the world, and you know the reality of
Speaker 1: what can happen, and you know, that's the reason why
Speaker 1: parents put my story out there was to spread awareness
Speaker 1: of disability and burns and amputees and amputations and wheelchairs
Speaker 1: and prosthetics and all that jazz that comes with my
Speaker 1: life and to hear that it does have that impact
Speaker 1: and it still carries that impact, as you know, was
Speaker 1: the original goal and continues to be, which is great.
Speaker 4: Because there may be some people who don't know. Can
Speaker 4: you tell us so who you were in two thousand
Speaker 4: and three you were two years old, yes, that was
Speaker 4: two and a half, and what was your family like
Speaker 4: at that point?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had a pretty ish normal family.
Speaker 1: My had my two parents, Ron and Carolyn, and I
Speaker 1: have an older brother, Mitchell, and I have an older
Speaker 1: brother John from my dad's previous marriage, and we Other
Speaker 1: than that, it was a pretty normal life.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: My mum's family all lived overseas and my dad's family
Speaker 1: didn't live nearby but was still in Sydney, and it
Speaker 1: was pretty normal. I mean, it was leading up to Christmas,
Speaker 1: so we'd put up the Christmas tree it happened.
Speaker 4: Which is two year old. That do you remember that?
Speaker 4: Because the first Christmas tree that you remember teends to
Speaker 4: be around that age, maybe three.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's the thing is like, I can't I don't know
Speaker 1: if I remember it, or I'm remembering it because I
Speaker 1: saw a photo and I made it up in my mind,
Speaker 1: or I'm made it up because my parents told me
Speaker 1: the story.
Speaker 2: I can't say for sure.
Speaker 1: I like my memory is a bit foggy from back then,
Speaker 1: So it's a mix of stories and you know, maybe
Speaker 1: fignant or my imagination.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Yes, and you are someone whose story has been told,
Speaker 4: yes by other people many times as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it almost feels like someone else's story and it's
Speaker 1: not a bad thing. I'm you know, very happy in
Speaker 1: a lot of ways that I don't remember what happened
Speaker 1: to me, but there does leave pieces unsolved, and I
Speaker 1: guess I'll never know.
Speaker 2: My true version of it because I don't remember.
Speaker 1: And that could be a combination of things, the medication
Speaker 1: I was on, the brain, injury from my second accident,
Speaker 1: or just my body making me forget, which you know,
Speaker 1: all are very probable.
Speaker 3: With reasons, or the fact that you were two years old.
Speaker 1: Old exactly, so I don't really remember having feet or
Speaker 1: you know, jumping and running.
Speaker 2: But it's weird.
Speaker 1: I can feel I can still remember the feeling of
Speaker 1: sand between my toes, so like if I'm at the beach,
Speaker 1: and obviously I can put my hands through the sand
Speaker 1: and all that, yeh, but I know what it would
Speaker 1: feel like to have sand between.
Speaker 3: My toes, that sensory feeling. Yeah, And that could be.
Speaker 1: Just because I could, you know, figure it out on
Speaker 1: my own and like, oh, I guess that's what it
Speaker 1: feels like.
Speaker 2: But I'm pretty certain of that and I just remember that.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I was, I mean two and a half
Speaker 1: years old. The night before my first accident, my parents
Speaker 1: went out for their wedding anniversary, which was two days prior,
Speaker 1: so we had a babysitter and yeah, the day it happened,
Speaker 1: we were waiting for Santa Claus to come on a
Speaker 1: fire truck, right, and it was I don't know why
Speaker 1: he was coming on a fire truck, but for some
Speaker 1: reason he.
Speaker 4: Often counts on a fire truck. I think in Australia
Speaker 4: we have trouble finding binder.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. Race.
Speaker 1: I's not at that stage yet, so that does make sense. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I always say in my keynote speeches, which gets
Speaker 1: laugh I have a very dark sense of humor, and
Speaker 1: it's you know, the fire truck came, but Santa didn't
Speaker 1: bush wow, bit bad but oh well. But yeah, the
Speaker 1: basically the sum of it is, and this is a
Speaker 1: very short version because I've been got pretty good at
Speaker 1: cutting it down. We were asleep waiting for Santa Claus
Speaker 1: to arride, So.
Speaker 2: You were at kinda Yeah, so I was in pre school.
Speaker 1: We were all asleep in our room and I had
Speaker 1: I was in the middle of I don't know, I
Speaker 1: can't remember how we slept, but there were two people
Speaker 1: on either side of me, and man driving a car
Speaker 1: had a seizure. His foot was on the accelerator. The
Speaker 1: car keptin going hit the curb, flew over a classroom
Speaker 1: of eighteen month old babies, which I just want to
Speaker 1: point out, like the car literally skipped over entire classroom,
Speaker 1: that's how high it flew and landed on top of me.
Speaker 1: The wheels well on top of the book like there
Speaker 1: was a bookshelf, so it kind of like lifted the
Speaker 1: car off the ground a little bit, so I wasn't squished,
Speaker 1: but I was still underneath and the wheels kept on turning,
Speaker 1: and you know, as science has it created friction and
Speaker 1: fiction cause fire. So yeah, the car caught a light
Speaker 1: and myself and one of the people next to me
Speaker 1: were trapped under the car. The person on the other
Speaker 1: side escaped without a scratch, which is amazing. And yeah,
Speaker 1: we were eventually pulled out and taken to local hospital,
Speaker 1: which wasn't able to treat our extensive burns in a
Speaker 1: pediatric case, so we were then helicoptered over to Sydney
Speaker 1: Children's Hospital.
Speaker 3: When you say extensive burns, Sophie, it was to eighty
Speaker 3: percent of your body, was it?
Speaker 1: Yes, So I can't remember the statistics from the other
Speaker 1: person's burns, but mine were eighty five to ninety percent
Speaker 1: of my body third degree and some fourth degree burns.
Speaker 1: So essentially, like fourth degree is basically on my back.
Speaker 1: I have a very small layer of skin, no fat,
Speaker 1: no flesh even, it's just literally skin and bone.
Speaker 3: But you were sleeping on your tummy, is that right?
Speaker 4: And that that saved you?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's why only a part of my face
Speaker 1: is burnt. It's like, you know, it cuts off the
Speaker 1: end of my right eyebrow barely, and then I don't
Speaker 1: have an ear on my right hand side, and the
Speaker 1: back of my head is all burnt, but my face
Speaker 1: is relatively unburnt. And yeah, my all my vital organs
Speaker 1: were protected because of that, which is crazy if you look.
Speaker 4: At it back at it now now that you also
Speaker 4: have Frankie, your baby, who's similar in age now to
Speaker 4: what you is, almost two. The I can't even imagine
Speaker 4: how that was for your parents at the time.
Speaker 2: It was crazy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, how what what happened from in them putting together
Speaker 4: the mosaic of your life through their version of events
Speaker 4: or did they not talk about it much when you
Speaker 4: were growing up?
Speaker 1: Or so when I had my legs amputated. I don't
Speaker 1: actually know how far into my hospital stay or post
Speaker 1: accident I had my legs amputated because I was in
Speaker 1: an induced coma for I'm going to say two months.
Speaker 1: I can't remember exactly, but around that period. I was
Speaker 1: in ICU for around two and a half months, and
Speaker 1: I was obviously not in a great state. I was
Speaker 1: on life support, so I wasn't conscious during that period.
Speaker 1: And one of the things they consulted a psychiatrist on
Speaker 1: how to deal with, you know, this whole psychologist on
Speaker 1: how to deal with all this, you know, with my
Speaker 1: understanding of it, and they said, don't tell her anything,
Speaker 1: let her figure it out for herself. So I woke
Speaker 1: up after losing my legs and I don't know again,
Speaker 1: I don't know how far after this was, and I
Speaker 1: just looked at my parents said I don't have legs
Speaker 1: on it more, just as simple as that. And there
Speaker 1: was no you know, tears, is nothing, because I was
Speaker 1: two and a half to and half actually understands the
Speaker 1: like what that actually means. It was just a matter
Speaker 1: of fact, Okay, this is my reality now moving on.
Speaker 1: I guess that's the beauty of childhood ignorance.
Speaker 2: As well.
Speaker 3: Yes, and yeah, to a certain extent. You only know
Speaker 3: what you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So the you that you find yourself in is.
Speaker 1: You, Yeah, exactly. I was still whoever I was at
Speaker 1: two and a half, you know. Obviously it was a
Speaker 1: bit different from my brother Mitchell, who was four at
Speaker 1: the time. That was a different, you know, like story
Speaker 1: for him, you know, obviously remembering what my life was
Speaker 1: before and then and when my parents told him that
Speaker 1: I was losing my legs, he said, don't worry, Mummy
Speaker 1: and Daddy.
Speaker 2: Her legs were back like a lizard's tail. And he
Speaker 2: was obsessed with this.
Speaker 1: Is at the time obviously, but just that you know,
Speaker 1: again child on ignorance, thinking, you know, it's all going
Speaker 1: to be okay, and that was his way of accompanying
Speaker 1: mom and dad. But you know, they obviously handled it
Speaker 1: pretty well because I'm here. They were asked countless times
Speaker 1: to turn my life support machine off, and that's obviously
Speaker 1: a decision. They decided not to go down. Well, sorry, path,
Speaker 1: they decided not to go down.
Speaker 3: Do you know why they decided not to do? You
Speaker 3: know what I mean?
Speaker 4: Was it because they had faith in the fact that
Speaker 4: you were able to recover.
Speaker 2: I think so.
Speaker 1: I mean, at the time, there were very few pediatric
Speaker 1: burns that were of that extent in the media, especially
Speaker 1: at Australian standards.
Speaker 2: There wasn't you know.
Speaker 1: Obviously there's some amazing burn survivors out there who had
Speaker 1: immediate presence before, but not in my of my age group.
Speaker 3: Yes, not many three year olds.
Speaker 2: No, no, So they had nothing really to compare it to. Yes, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: And they consulted my surgeon a lot, and he's was
Speaker 1: my surgeon from day one and it's still my surgeon
Speaker 1: to the day. And he they said, you know, how
Speaker 1: do we know how much she can bear? And his response,
Speaker 1: he was always very is, very wise with his you know, analogies,
Speaker 1: and he said, well, how much kind of koala bear?
Speaker 1: And it's a bit nonsensical, it's you know, very metaphorical
Speaker 1: and philosophical when you think about it and whatever. But
Speaker 1: that was the saying that made my parents hold on really.
Speaker 1: And it was really crazy because the night before my wedding,
Speaker 1: I was in an airbnb with my maids and was
Speaker 1: steaming my wedding dress and Mum came in and the
Speaker 1: painting above the bed of the room we were in
Speaker 1: was a Koala bear and that's the room that I
Speaker 1: got dressed, and like I got my wedding dress on
Speaker 1: the day after and everything.
Speaker 2: So that was very you know, full circle. So I did.
Speaker 1: I There were so many different reasons why they held on,
Speaker 1: and you know, there was a clean accumulation of things
Speaker 1: from the support they had, their you know, faith in
Speaker 1: one another and the love and I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is, but they just did.
Speaker 4: And at the time, I think, and you're in hospital
Speaker 4: for like a year, and I think, as I said before,
Speaker 4: the nation was very invested in you. And then you
Speaker 4: would think that that is enough for one small creature.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't you.
Speaker 4: You would think, yep, that is the lightning strike that
Speaker 4: has happened.
Speaker 2: Let's do it again.
Speaker 3: And yet when you were five, Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was crossing the road with my Cara and my
Speaker 1: assistant dog and I was in a pram at the time,
Speaker 1: and a driver got blinded by the sun and didn't
Speaker 1: see me crossing the road, hit my stroller and I
Speaker 1: flew eighteen meters in the air, learning headfirst on the pavement.
Speaker 3: It's quite extraordinary.
Speaker 4: And that so the complication, so you were already dealing
Speaker 4: with the surgeries that you were having.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I still have been ongoing things. Absolutely, I don't
Speaker 1: think that well. I mean it still hasn't stopped, so
Speaker 1: it certainly didn't stop that right that accident, I ended
Speaker 1: up in Sydney Children's Hospital and Randwick and I suffered
Speaker 1: all internal injuries. I had a brain injury, broken ribs,
Speaker 1: something happened to my lung. I honestly can't remember the
Speaker 1: list of things because there was just so many little
Speaker 1: breaks and bruises, but the two Maine injuries that I
Speaker 1: still lived to this days.
Speaker 2: I have a brain injury and I lost my sense
Speaker 2: of smell.
Speaker 1: Ah, really, which I want to point out, I did
Speaker 1: not tell my parents that I couldn't smell until I
Speaker 1: was like fourteen, and I just went up to my
Speaker 1: mum one day. I was like, do you know I
Speaker 1: can't smell? And She's like no, I was like, I
Speaker 1: just it's not something I like ever communicated.
Speaker 2: I don't know why.
Speaker 4: Okay, this is interesting because it once again requires seeing
Speaker 4: things through the prism of a child. But did you
Speaker 4: notice that you couldn't smell or did it just become
Speaker 4: your new normal that you couldn't smell?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think so.
Speaker 1: Like if anyone ever puts even to the date, put
Speaker 1: a flower to my I'd.
Speaker 2: Be like, hmm, smells great, and this is one.
Speaker 1: Of my close friends or family. But even my mom
Speaker 1: forgets or my husband forgets. I can't actually know my
Speaker 1: husband probably not so much, but everyone else in my
Speaker 1: life forgets, and they'll be like, oh, that smells good, and.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just think I either just thought they knew
Speaker 1: because I'm like, well, they knew all my diagnosis, but
Speaker 1: then I kind of forgot that, Oh yeah, there's no
Speaker 1: actually way they would know.
Speaker 4: Maybe presumably in the scale of what you had endured
Speaker 4: and you were enduring, maybe sense of smell just never
Speaker 4: even came up in yeah as being significant.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, But the way to actually test if you can't smell,
Speaker 1: it's the silliest.
Speaker 2: Test on this planet.
Speaker 1: Because you've got hundreds of thousands of nerves between your eyebrows.
Speaker 3: Let's just say, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1: Connecting your nose to your brain, and their microscopic they're
Speaker 1: so tiny because it's such a small space. Only way
Speaker 1: to test it, or at least the way I got tested,
Speaker 1: was you have to smell a liquid and say if
Speaker 1: it's sweet, sour, or savory.
Speaker 3: From the scenes of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can't answer I don't know.
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, getting it right?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I got I think it was like sixty
Speaker 1: percent correct.
Speaker 2: And I can promise.
Speaker 1: You I had zero sense of smell and I just
Speaker 1: lucked out by guessing sixty That's why we love.
Speaker 3: Multiple choice exams.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. If only I did so well at multiple
Speaker 1: choice at school. Yeah, it was the weirdest test.
Speaker 4: But what did your mum say, by the way, when
Speaker 4: you were fourteen and you told her.
Speaker 2: I think she was like, oh, we should probably get
Speaker 2: that looked down or something along that it was.
Speaker 1: You know, it's so insignificant because it obviously hasn't changed
Speaker 1: anything about my life. Yes, there are some risks in
Speaker 1: terms of if there's you know, a fire, I can't
Speaker 1: smell it, or your baby. Yeah, yeah exactly. My husband
Speaker 1: says it's a superpowers Yeah, like it's it's not the
Speaker 1: end of the world.
Speaker 2: It just complicates some things.
Speaker 4: But your parents gave you an extraordinary gift, it seems,
Speaker 4: in their attitude towards you and how you would negotiate
Speaker 4: life with the complications that's presented. And what was that,
Speaker 4: I mean, knowing what you know of them now. Was
Speaker 4: that an ideology that they came up with together or
Speaker 4: was that just kind of on the fly that they
Speaker 4: both had this, Well, we're going to focus on what
Speaker 4: Sophie can do, not what she can't do.
Speaker 1: I think that would have been a decision they made together.
Speaker 1: Kind of speaks to both of them. They come from,
Speaker 1: you know, very resilient family. Both their parents, you know,
Speaker 1: lived through the war, and you know, my dad's both
Speaker 1: my dad's parents grew up in Malta during the war,
Speaker 1: where they paid chicken with the bombs, like who could
Speaker 1: stay outside the longest, Well, we'll be bombed. And Malta
Speaker 1: was the most bombed country in the war, and which
Speaker 1: is crazy. And then my mom's mom grew up in
Speaker 1: South Africa and my mom's dad's brother.
Speaker 2: Was a prisoner of war. He was a pilot who
Speaker 2: got shut down.
Speaker 1: So they come from families that are, you know, pretty incredible.
Speaker 1: They've lived through a lot, and you know, they both
Speaker 1: are as well. And I think that they just knew Well,
Speaker 1: my brother is obviously older, so I'm.
Speaker 2: Going to be learning a lot a lot from him.
Speaker 1: Let's just give them the same opportunities just because I
Speaker 1: have a disability doesn't define who I am.
Speaker 2: You know, if my brother can do it, then so
Speaker 2: can I.
Speaker 4: So you went to school, everything was as it would
Speaker 4: have been if nothing untoward it ever happened to you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that's the way they at least tried
Speaker 1: to raise me. Obviously, there were things that you know,
Speaker 1: were different from most childhoods. I had, you know, yearly surgeries,
Speaker 1: multiple a year. I was in a wheelchair for most
Speaker 1: well for all of my primary school years and most
Speaker 1: of my high school years. I have to deal with,
Speaker 1: you know, wound care and certain pains and you know,
Speaker 1: all the stuff that you know, most children don't have
Speaker 1: to deal with. But in other areas, you know, I
Speaker 1: lived in a normal life. I did school sport, I
Speaker 1: you know, went to school camp. And I think when
Speaker 1: I went into high school and the principals started having
Speaker 1: opinions on what I should be doing instead and trying
Speaker 1: to challenge that view of my parents, that's when it becomes.
Speaker 3: Like in terms of limiting what you should be doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there were certain instances where I moved to three
Speaker 1: different high schools just because I couldn't find the right fit.
Speaker 1: And one of the schools I went to the principal
Speaker 1: believed that instead of for example, during Pe when they
Speaker 1: were playing netball, I wouldn't obviously do it because I
Speaker 1: was in my wheelchair and you know, I didn't get
Speaker 1: much benefit out of you know, tossing a ball like
Speaker 1: you know, it wasn't the sort of same thing for me.
Speaker 1: But for example, if we were doing swimming, I do
Speaker 1: swimming with them, so I'd go to learning support to
Speaker 1: do a few extra hours of studying, and the principle
Speaker 1: believed that that was not beneficial to me and I
Speaker 1: needed to watch people play sport instead.
Speaker 2: Spec Yeah, they said I could be a.
Speaker 1: Referee, which is like, you know, for twelve year old,
Speaker 1: I was like, what am I going to do?
Speaker 2: A blow whistle?
Speaker 4: I know we're all about respecting referees, but even at twelve, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: And then there were a few things with you know,
Speaker 1: school camps when there was a bit of rain and
Speaker 1: there was a risk that you know, the buses couldn't
Speaker 1: come collect us, so I had to be sent home early, whereas.
Speaker 2: My friends all stayed at camp.
Speaker 1: And I remember leaving camp crying because I.
Speaker 2: Didn't want to leave.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, no, I want to stay with
Speaker 1: my friends, and the school made the decision to pull
Speaker 1: me out.
Speaker 2: There were a few things that, you know, there's a
Speaker 2: list of things.
Speaker 4: But so at that point, so you were at high school,
Speaker 4: then had you learned to advocate for yourself.
Speaker 2: A little bit? I think I learned more through experiencing that.
Speaker 1: It's hard at the time when you're looking too you know,
Speaker 1: the head of the school and they're making those decisions
Speaker 1: for you. I remember having a meeting with my parents
Speaker 1: and the principal and some teachers about it, and at
Speaker 1: that point I already wasn't enjoying certain aspects of the
Speaker 1: school socially, so I had made the decision to leave
Speaker 1: anyway and to go to another school. So that was
Speaker 1: in the back of my mind, but that certainly encouraged
Speaker 1: my parents to.
Speaker 2: Put me out.
Speaker 1: My parents were more than happy to find the right
Speaker 1: fit instead of making me be the example, because at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, not every person with disability
Speaker 1: or people in a minority group should have to be
Speaker 1: the ones to educate.
Speaker 2: Someone, you know, if they don't want to be that example.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: But once again, extraordinary thinking, because sometimes it's like, well,
Speaker 3: rather than making Sophie start in a new school again
Speaker 3: where she arrives and she's in the wheelchair and she's
Speaker 3: different or whatever. We'll just try and accept and make
Speaker 3: it work with where we are. But the thinking was
Speaker 3: when it was clear that it wasn't working for you
Speaker 3: to step into the new Yeah.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And the school I moved to, I already had
Speaker 1: a group of friends at. One of my best friends
Speaker 1: already went there, so they weren't necessarily worried about me socially.
Speaker 2: It was more just like, you know, this person's.
Speaker 1: Going to behave and think and make decisions because that's
Speaker 1: their view on life.
Speaker 2: We don't have to be the ones.
Speaker 1: You know, We're going to give our reasonings, but we're
Speaker 1: not there to change every aspect of their view on life.
Speaker 1: So we're just gonna give our reasonings and leave. Because
Speaker 1: at that point I didn't want to make it a
Speaker 1: bigger thing.
Speaker 2: Than it had to be.
Speaker 1: And I was already, as I mentioned, I was already
Speaker 1: looking to leave for social reasons. And you know, it's
Speaker 1: great that I did, because I ended up meeting my
Speaker 1: husband at the next school.
Speaker 3: Out very well. Oh so that's where you met Joseph.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's where I met Joseph.
Speaker 1: Halfway through year nine, and yeah, I'm already my childhood
Speaker 1: best friend. She knew him right, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so like, oh, you guys will get along cause
Speaker 2: they were good friends.
Speaker 3: And what class was it in or was it outside
Speaker 3: of class?
Speaker 2: It was outside.
Speaker 1: He was away for the first few weeks when I
Speaker 1: first joined, and that's.
Speaker 3: Because she kept talking about Joseph and Joseph, yes.
Speaker 1: And then we met outside in the locker room, and
Speaker 1: then we had drama together that day. And yeah, we
Speaker 1: didn't start dating in high school. We started dating afterwards,
Speaker 1: but we became very quick friends.
Speaker 4: I'll be back with Sophie after this short break. When
Speaker 4: you look back now at the man who's your husband,
Speaker 4: do you think that you always knew?
Speaker 2: No, you know, we both remember meeting each other.
Speaker 1: And I have for someone who has a terrible memory,
Speaker 1: the people who've made the biggest impacts on my life,
Speaker 1: I remember meeting and I always think that's a sign,
Speaker 1: like all my best and closest and dearest friends, I
Speaker 1: have the sharpest memory of meeting. And then yeah, I
Speaker 1: just others. I you know, no offense, don't I just
Speaker 1: have a bad memory. But I feel like that's like
Speaker 1: a sign my self conscious is telling me, but no,
Speaker 1: I just knew that we were going to be very
Speaker 1: good friends, and we were for many years.
Speaker 3: When you were at school. What did you want to
Speaker 3: do at that point, Oh.
Speaker 1: I had no idea. I view a lot of life
Speaker 1: as I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow, let alone
Speaker 1: in five years. And that's from the viewpoint of, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know how my medical needs are going to change.
Speaker 1: I certainly didn't know at the time, so I just
Speaker 1: you know, I loved drama, I knew I didn't like science,
Speaker 1: so I was just taking it as it came. I yeah,
Speaker 1: never really looked too far ahead, and in case the
Speaker 1: version of reality wasn't exactly what I wanted it.
Speaker 3: To be, so I just yes.
Speaker 4: And you had learnt twice that yeah, the unexpected can happen.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it does happen no matter how hard you
Speaker 1: try to make it not. One viewpoint that my mum
Speaker 1: always instilled in me was you know, have goals in life, absolutely,
Speaker 1: and I always did. But my goals were more you know,
Speaker 1: do this or do that, like a bit more specific, right,
Speaker 1: and you know, like I want to skydive, or I
Speaker 1: want to move to London, and some yes, theos are
Speaker 1: both very dramatic things.
Speaker 2: But did you want to sky dive?
Speaker 3: I did skydar Did you skydive?
Speaker 1: My again, Joseph, my now husband, skydived when he went
Speaker 1: skydiving when he.
Speaker 2: Was fourteen I think he was and or fifteen.
Speaker 1: And he showed me the video and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I have to skyd it.
Speaker 2: That looks insane.
Speaker 1: And every skydiving company in Australia said no to me
Speaker 1: because of the risks and the are the risks because
Speaker 1: of the hut landing, Yeah, because of the landing aspect,
Speaker 1: which I understand.
Speaker 2: You know, they have rules for a reason. Yeah. But
Speaker 2: Muman's still with the message and me of if plan A.
Speaker 1: Doesn't work, you just work your way through the alphabet.
Speaker 1: And you know, the goal was to go skydiving, and
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I'm going to go skydiving, I know,
Speaker 1: so I you know, just kept on working the way
Speaker 1: down the alphabet and then oh, I can't even say
Speaker 1: how many years later, I think.
Speaker 2: Five years later. Four years later, I was in New.
Speaker 1: Zealand on a family union with my cousins and they
Speaker 1: went skydiving and because of the way the mountains like
Speaker 1: are in Queenstown. It protects the area in which you land,
Speaker 1: so you're almost guaranteed no wind than like a bum.
Speaker 3: Land, so it's slightly more insulated landing than it is.
Speaker 1: Yes, whereas in Australia you're doing it along the coast,
Speaker 1: so it's unless you're you know in you know, middle
Speaker 1: of Australia, which I don't think there are any skydiving
Speaker 1: companies there would be cool.
Speaker 3: But you didn't get that alphabet no exactly.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it worked out then virtu was great, But
Speaker 1: it was that notion of you know, just because it's
Speaker 1: not working now, it doesn't mean it's not going to
Speaker 1: work in the future.
Speaker 4: You know, because you've faced and face a lot of
Speaker 4: physical challenges that most people would never encounter. When you're
Speaker 4: about to jump out of a plane, did you feel fear?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, not just before when you're you've just jumped,
Speaker 1: you're like, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: Die, right, so I cannot do this and leave?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there was more just like you're free falling like
Speaker 1: literally towards the ground, so like there is that I
Speaker 1: think it's like a millisecond in your.
Speaker 2: Mind where you're like, oh, I'm like this is it.
Speaker 1: But then the you know, then your mind comprehends, Oh no,
Speaker 1: I'm skydiving.
Speaker 2: It's okay, right?
Speaker 3: And were you with someone that you were doing your town?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I was tand for sure, and my brother was
Speaker 1: Mitch did. Mitch did it as well. I think he
Speaker 1: got pressured into it because of me, but he did it.
Speaker 2: Made thing. You loved it in the end. Wow.
Speaker 4: And so you mentioned England as well, which was another
Speaker 4: So where was that idea born from? Which was after
Speaker 4: school you went to study in London?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: So I moved to London when I just turned eighteen.
Speaker 1: I was young for my years, so I graduated at seventeen, right,
Speaker 1: and obviously knew I couldn't move until I was a
Speaker 1: legal adult. I went on a trip there with my
Speaker 1: mum when I was fifteen, and I remember saying, what
Speaker 1: like we just drove out of the airport and I
Speaker 1: was like, I need to move here.
Speaker 2: This is my dream.
Speaker 1: I always knew I wanted to live somewhere else out
Speaker 1: and go to unie outside of Australia. I think growing
Speaker 1: up it was New York just because that you know
Speaker 1: gossip girl ideology.
Speaker 2: Of New York's great and beautiful city.
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, and then yeah, I went to London and
Speaker 1: I was like, no, this is the place for me.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I just held on to it and went
Speaker 1: onto that dream and then didn't really give anyone a chance.
Speaker 2: To say no. And then I hopped on a plane
Speaker 2: just a eighteen.
Speaker 3: What was involved in that?
Speaker 4: Because, yeah, you have, like you said, you have your
Speaker 4: medical needs. Yeah, and appointments and surgeries and prosthetics.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think as I had a few years to prepare,
Speaker 1: my parents tried to set my medical will, kind of
Speaker 1: ease off the surgeries and set myself up for you know,
Speaker 1: the least amount of medical intervention as possible. Obviously, you know,
Speaker 1: things can still happen, and things do still happen. But
Speaker 1: the craziest thing is I had this doctor who I
Speaker 1: was He.
Speaker 2: Was probably my first crush.
Speaker 1: I was obsessed with this doctor when I had my
Speaker 1: first accident.
Speaker 2: And he was.
Speaker 1: I think it was at a registrant whatever, like the
Speaker 1: junior doctor. He was a junior doctor training under my
Speaker 1: surgeon and his At the time, you were kind of
Speaker 1: assigned a case in the ICU, and your responsibility was
Speaker 1: that person. So if anything happened, even if you went
Speaker 1: on shift, you had to go to.
Speaker 2: The hospital to tend to that case.
Speaker 1: And his name was doctor Johnny and I loved him anyway.
Speaker 1: Before I moved to London, I met with my surgeon,
Speaker 1: doctor Peter, just to talk through.
Speaker 3: This is your lifelong surgeon.
Speaker 1: Yes, right, and yeah, my lifelong surgeon since day one.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know, I'm moving to London,
Speaker 1: is there anything I need to know? And he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: doctor Johnny works at the lead Burns Hospital in London.
Speaker 2: So I met up with him.
Speaker 1: Who he hadn't seen me since I was three, but
Speaker 1: he knew everything about my first accident at least, which
Speaker 1: is the one that requires.
Speaker 2: Me to still have surgeries. So that was very surreal.
Speaker 4: That also could have been were it not probably for
Speaker 4: the yawning chasm of age difference a rom com.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's incredible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was weird meeting up with him again.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so he was my point of contact that
Speaker 1: just lucked out that he was, you know, not that
Speaker 1: far away from And.
Speaker 4: Does that mean that when you if you had needed
Speaker 4: anything while you were there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So there were a few medical episodes that I needed,
Speaker 1: you know, extra attention, so I went to him.
Speaker 2: I fell out of my wheelchair at one point. It's
Speaker 2: very funny.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I have like safety wheels on the back of
Speaker 1: my wheelchair so that if I tip back, they'll catch me.
Speaker 1: I for some reason, one of the safety wheels had broken.
Speaker 1: I tipped back and kept him forth and I like
Speaker 1: splashed my head. I was fine, but I had this
Speaker 1: bad word, so I just had to go see him
Speaker 1: and he tended to it.
Speaker 3: Where were you when you tipped?
Speaker 1: I think I was in Paris, actually with my brother.
Speaker 1: Let's blame my brother on that.
Speaker 2: One, right, But I was.
Speaker 3: Jumping out of a plane exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So there were little things like that, but we made
Speaker 1: it work in other ways. I had I've a regimented
Speaker 1: wound care routine. Is this for your league? Yes, because
Speaker 1: using prosthetics create pressure saws, and I know I could
Speaker 1: not wear my prosthetics and I wouldn't get them, but
Speaker 1: I just like, where's.
Speaker 2: My the way I live life, so.
Speaker 1: I would get my Mum would chip over the bandages
Speaker 1: to me. So other than that, there wasn't really any
Speaker 1: care that I needed over there. I think my parents
Speaker 1: knew that I needed to figure out for myself as well.
Speaker 1: So there were some challenges with say, my prosthetics. And
Speaker 1: I'm lucky enough to be a UK citizen, so I
Speaker 1: was able to access NHS right and they have great
Speaker 1: prosthetics services within the hospitals.
Speaker 3: So what were you studying, by the way, and where
Speaker 3: were you?
Speaker 1: I lived around King's Cross, Bloomsbury to be exact, but
Speaker 1: no one knows where that is. And I studied at
Speaker 1: Soas University, love London, and what it was my course
Speaker 1: Social Anthropology and Developmental Studies. I never graduated because I
Speaker 1: came back during COVID and I just couldn't do the
Speaker 1: eleven hour time difference. But I did study it, so
Speaker 1: don't have the deployment to show for it.
Speaker 4: But I and what was the idea behind studying that?
Speaker 1: No clue according to UNI, being like I want to
Speaker 1: leave with a degree that could lead me anywhere. And
Speaker 1: as soon as I started, I was like, damn it,
Speaker 1: why am I doing this? Like why didn't I pick
Speaker 1: a degree that gave me a specific job in a
Speaker 1: specific line of work.
Speaker 3: But how was the overall experience of that? So, oh,
Speaker 3: my god, to be in a country where you.
Speaker 4: Know, I said to you, you know at the start
Speaker 4: of the conversation that a lot of Australia have got
Speaker 4: a context for you? Was that one of the things
Speaker 4: that you loved about being over there that there wasn't
Speaker 4: that context for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I deep down wanted to start my
Speaker 1: own life and start with a blank page. But it's
Speaker 1: so funny because it did follow me. Obviously, my disability
Speaker 1: is still there, but there were weird instances where I
Speaker 1: was at the gym and an American lady who had
Speaker 1: an Australian grandma told her about me. I was walking
Speaker 1: down the street and there was another Australian who'd moved
Speaker 1: to London who recognized me. Just random things. So you know,
Speaker 1: it did follow me around. But I still got to
Speaker 1: create a life of my own and.
Speaker 2: That was really powerful.
Speaker 3: And what did you learn about yourself on your own?
Speaker 1: I think I learned what true independence is. And I
Speaker 1: made the wonderful of friendships, and I learnt a lot
Speaker 1: on how to get out of grown university.
Speaker 2: I learned on a lot of good things.
Speaker 1: But I just learned, yeah, how to be me and
Speaker 1: not have my story to find me and not have
Speaker 1: my disability to find me. And you know, I took
Speaker 1: a lot of I had to take a lot of
Speaker 1: accountability for my health because before I had.
Speaker 2: Cares and I had nur so it would help with
Speaker 2: my wounds.
Speaker 1: I had physios, I had all this stuff, and suddenly
Speaker 1: it was all gone, and I had to choose, well,
Speaker 1: do I need that sort of care or do I
Speaker 1: need to see this personal Oh my legs are having
Speaker 1: a bad day, I need to take time off them.
Speaker 1: Where you know, I went over with only my manual wheelchair,
Speaker 1: whereas before I left, I had an electric wheelchair. So
Speaker 1: I was making those decisions in real time, and that was,
Speaker 1: you know, the most valuable lesson of all.
Speaker 4: In all of this while you're away, it almost seems
Speaker 4: like it was preparation for the next phase of your life.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I wouldn't be who I am today without going
Speaker 1: to London.
Speaker 3: Stay with us.
Speaker 4: My conversation with Sophie continues after this break. Where was
Speaker 4: the love of your life when you were in London?
Speaker 3: Where was Joseph?
Speaker 2: He was in Sydney.
Speaker 1: We'd our friendship had taken like a little natural hiatus.
Speaker 1: We just graduated from high school, so he was on
Speaker 1: his own journey becoming a chef, so he was doing
Speaker 1: studies for that, and I was off in London. We'd
Speaker 1: seen each other briefly just before I left, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: I even think we messaged that much when I was
Speaker 1: over and then just as you know, friendships to our
Speaker 1: high school and then I came back during COVID and
Speaker 1: the beauty of COVID.
Speaker 2: And the additial days was that five kilometer radius.
Speaker 3: Oh of course at least and within the time he was.
Speaker 1: Within the five and being a chef and going from
Speaker 1: chef hours to you know, COVID hours was very freedom
Speaker 1: for a schedule because he was only working you know,
Speaker 1: four hour, five hour chefs. So yeah, he and I
Speaker 1: met up and you know, the rest is history. But
Speaker 1: it was, you know, funny way of you know, I
Speaker 1: had no plans to come to reracticity ever, like you know,
Speaker 1: odd visits, but I was like, my life's in London,
Speaker 1: that's the COVID.
Speaker 3: And now and now we're staying put.
Speaker 1: We've got a lot of support and a lot of
Speaker 1: love for Frankie around us, So you know, I'm happy.
Speaker 3: You had Frankie before you got married.
Speaker 2: Yes, And was that.
Speaker 4: Your intention to try and have a baby, even though
Speaker 4: I know you've spoken before about I mean, most women
Speaker 4: do not know how their body is going to.
Speaker 1: Exact respond that's you know, disability or not.
Speaker 2: No one knows how it is going to be.
Speaker 1: You know, conceiving and pregnancy and birth, it is all unwritten,
Speaker 1: all unknown.
Speaker 2: You can you know, even having a baby.
Speaker 1: You can read as many parenting books as you want,
Speaker 1: but it's all up to the baby and how they're
Speaker 1: going to be.
Speaker 3: And the fertility gods can be cruel.
Speaker 1: Yes, and my mum had her own fertility journey, and
Speaker 1: my you know, I had that in the back of
Speaker 1: my mind. My grandparents on what my grandmother's on either
Speaker 1: side had their own journey too, So coming into this,
Speaker 1: you know, I was raised with awareness that, you know,
Speaker 1: your body can be perfectly healthy, you can have absolutely
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with you, and you can still struggle to
Speaker 1: conceive or have a healthy pregnancy whatever.
Speaker 4: Well, your conversation with Joseph about obviously would have encompassed
Speaker 4: that or who was leading the charge John on wanting
Speaker 4: a baby or did it happen?
Speaker 1: We both always wanted kids, and I think it was
Speaker 1: just a we don't know. You know, there's even studies
Speaker 1: to prove that high amounts of anesthetic at a young
Speaker 1: age can impact fertility. I have you know, this is
Speaker 1: very small study. There's a lot of complications. I do
Speaker 1: not believe that it is the case because I was
Speaker 1: able to have a healthy pregnancy, and trust me, I
Speaker 1: had a lot of anesthetic.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you know, we both went.
Speaker 1: Into this journey being like, well, we don't know what's
Speaker 1: going to happen. We don't know how easy or how
Speaker 1: hard it's going to be. I also have pomos, so
Speaker 1: going into previously known as pcos, and you know, every
Speaker 1: doctor will tell you if you have pmos, you know
Speaker 1: you've got to struggle to conceive. And I know plenty
Speaker 1: of people who have moas who you know, conceived very quickly,
Speaker 1: if not, you know, before there, before they even realized,
Speaker 1: you know, what was happening. But I think that's just
Speaker 1: the joys of being a woman, is that you're aways,
Speaker 1: you know, told it's going to be difficult, and it
Speaker 1: can be.
Speaker 2: And I think we just lucked out.
Speaker 3: And then you welcome baby Frankie.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Then we had wonderful pregnancy.
Speaker 1: The birth was you know, again, I didn't go into
Speaker 1: pregnancy or that journey thinking I'm absolutely going to have
Speaker 1: this birth and it's going to go this way.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to do this. I'm going to do
Speaker 2: this because it is not up to you. It is
Speaker 2: one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Up to the baby and how they want to come
Speaker 1: out and when they want to come out. You have,
Speaker 1: as the mother, have very little control on what's happening,
Speaker 1: even though it is your body. And I think that
Speaker 1: for a lot of people is really hard to understand.
Speaker 1: But for me going through my life, that is an
Speaker 1: idea that I've always lived by. I don't have control
Speaker 1: over what my body's going to do. You know, if
Speaker 1: it was up to me, I wouldn't have pressure.
Speaker 2: Wounds and all this stuff. But that is how she is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's how I viewed pregnancy. And when my
Speaker 1: son's growth at thirty six weeks mark had dropped a
Speaker 1: little well, yeah, thirty six weeks pregnant had dropped a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 2: So my Obi, who was specialized.
Speaker 1: In high risk pregnancies, just in case anything was to happen,
Speaker 1: because again we didn't know how my body would I
Speaker 1: handle the pregnancy.
Speaker 2: Turns out handled it really well.
Speaker 1: They's growth dropped a little bit, and Mybi, you know,
Speaker 1: after a week and we reached the thirty seven mark,
Speaker 1: she said, you know, today's the day because we don't
Speaker 1: want to risk anything happening going forward, and the longer
Speaker 1: we wait, the more risk of emergencies. And yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And that was, you know, a definitely decision that my
Speaker 1: husband and I were happy with. That's why we consulted her.
Speaker 1: And we had the choice between an induction or a
Speaker 1: C section. But going into this, I was like, I
Speaker 1: do not want a see section because I don't want
Speaker 1: to operating theater.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 1: I want to have vaginal and birth and all that.
Speaker 1: And then she said, you know the risk of giving
Speaker 1: his size and turns out the umbilical cord and my
Speaker 1: persenta wasn't doing what exactly like it kind of had
Speaker 1: its life. It stopped, you know, given as much nutrients
Speaker 1: stars in news, which happens in a lot of pregnancies.
Speaker 1: She said, just given that, you know the risk of
Speaker 1: emergency section if I go through a.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, what's the word, Oh my god, my
Speaker 2: mental blank?
Speaker 1: Sorry if I get injuiced, sorry, So, if I get injuice,
Speaker 1: the risk of an emergency is really high. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I don't want to go through
Speaker 1: an emergency C section. If I can avoid it, let's
Speaker 1: go through you know, an elective. I say elective with
Speaker 1: quote marks around it, because it's it was a you
Speaker 1: have to decide right now, yes, but like way out
Speaker 1: the risks, but it has to be done today. So
Speaker 1: I did choose to but in an ideal world I
Speaker 1: probably wouldn't have.
Speaker 3: But but like you said, the babies made the choice.
Speaker 1: Exactly and we had the most wonderful birth. And honestly,
Speaker 1: c sections are amazing. I know a lot of people struggle,
Speaker 1: but a lot of people struggle with vaginal births as well.
Speaker 4: So I think I've had a c sections, by the way,
Speaker 4: one emergency and then three such.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people who have, you know,
Speaker 1: had obviously c sections after emergency ones, and I think
Speaker 1: they are it's you know, it's very fun because you
Speaker 1: don't realize how quick it happens, and unlike you know,
Speaker 1: vaginal that can last, you know, twenty four hours.
Speaker 2: It's true, they're outed like, yeah, four minutes, So.
Speaker 4: Joseph would have been Frankie when they were stitching, you
Speaker 4: un't yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: And then how was your moment when you met Frankie?
Speaker 2: It was very surreal.
Speaker 1: I think we'd had four hours to prepare ourselves that
Speaker 1: we're having Frankie that day, and Joseph's aunt was getting
Speaker 1: married the next day, and so it was like we
Speaker 1: were like canceling, like we were pulling out of the wedding.
Speaker 1: We were like, we can't come anymore, like all this
Speaker 1: stuff was happening. And then when I saw Frankie, it
Speaker 1: was it was beautiful. I mean it was you know,
Speaker 1: because you know, having had a c section, you're you know,
Speaker 1: you're kind of tied up a little bit, and yeah,
Speaker 1: it's still a bit numb, so I think that was
Speaker 1: a bit awkward. But it also was a first time mum,
Speaker 1: so I didn't know how to hold him and all
Speaker 1: of that. But it was beautiful. And as soon as
Speaker 1: I was out of the operating theater and you know,
Speaker 1: all stitched up, it was, you know, just pure joy.
Speaker 1: I remember I did not sleep at all that night.
Speaker 1: He was born in the late afternoon, and I just
Speaker 1: was staring at him the entire night because I was
Speaker 1: just like, how.
Speaker 2: Are you real? Like how are you an actual person? Now?
Speaker 1: It was beautiful and he was and is still such
Speaker 1: a great baby. So we really lucked out.
Speaker 4: When you so during your pregnancy was when you'd started
Speaker 4: really with your social media that had kind of taken off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's happened all very quickly, all very unexpectedly. I
Speaker 1: just thought, you know, going into my career, I always
Speaker 1: knew I had this connection to that greater media, and
Speaker 1: I knew there was a lot of good that could
Speaker 1: be done through you know, speaking my truth. When I
Speaker 1: went into social media at that point, I didn't realize
Speaker 1: how fast it would take off.
Speaker 2: And I also didn't really have a plan. I kind
Speaker 2: of just went with it, rolled with it.
Speaker 1: And it worked out really well. I loved it. And
Speaker 1: then Frankie came and I didn't get a Matt leave.
Speaker 1: I worked, you know, I was working. You know, that
Speaker 1: was contact contact due the week he was born. I
Speaker 1: did an interview the day before he was born.
Speaker 2: It's crazy.
Speaker 1: And you know, something to note in Australia's we don't
Speaker 1: have a creator's fund or anything in Instagram or TikTok,
Speaker 1: So you're not generating and come through doing all of
Speaker 1: this stuff unless you're doing paid gigs and that. So
Speaker 1: you know, you're continuously having to work in order to
Speaker 1: get those paid gigs and.
Speaker 4: Have do brand alignments and whatever. Yes, yeah, because even
Speaker 4: if you're getting five million reviews that's not monetized.
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, And so that's really you know, I am
Speaker 1: very fortunate to be in the content creator industry and
Speaker 1: the world, but you know that is a challenge obviously
Speaker 1: when you have a very little time on your hands,
Speaker 1: and you.
Speaker 2: Know, you are put in a lot of work into it.
Speaker 1: So that was you know, I just kind of ran
Speaker 1: with it when he was born, and you know, loved
Speaker 1: a lot of the opportunities that came my way, and
Speaker 1: I did some brand deals that I really got value
Speaker 1: from and I loved and had for the what I
Speaker 1: was promoting, what I was doing. And then a friend
Speaker 1: who I hadn't heard from in a while message maybeing like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry about all these comments on that video
Speaker 1: you posted, and I have my notifications turned off. I
Speaker 1: don't look at comments. I'm like, you know, people are
Speaker 1: going to say what they want to say. And the
Speaker 1: comments were just so judgmental, and I couldn't even believe
Speaker 1: that people would think or feel that way.
Speaker 3: And in relation to you being a mother, or in
Speaker 3: relation to.
Speaker 1: It's controversial topic, but feeding my newborn child, so being
Speaker 1: expressbanding versus formula.
Speaker 2: At the time, I was talking about pumping.
Speaker 1: And they're mout of backlash I got and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I don't do not in any way agree with this,
Speaker 1: but I knew there would be some backlash with formula,
Speaker 1: but with.
Speaker 2: Pumping, I was just like, whoa. It was just crazy.
Speaker 2: And that really.
Speaker 1: Affected me because I was like, if people people are
Speaker 1: reading this and like, what if that changes someone's person
Speaker 1: like a new mother's perspective on pumping, or what if
Speaker 1: someone gets into that, well, I can't pump. That's a
Speaker 1: terrible thing to do, and which is not It is
Speaker 1: an incredible thing. And the fact that we have the
Speaker 1: technology in order to assist with, you know, motherhood in
Speaker 1: that way, if that's something you decided to, like you
Speaker 1: decide to.
Speaker 2: Go down, it is wonderful. And then I was just
Speaker 2: getting all these comments and I just was like, why
Speaker 2: am I doing this? Like what you know? What am
Speaker 2: I getting out?
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of people
Speaker 1: who came to mine and.
Speaker 4: Mother's defense, but nonetheless fought back. You've been exposed to this, yes, yeah, okay,
Speaker 4: energy that he is not one that you would invite
Speaker 4: into your.
Speaker 1: Life, yes, exactly. Yeah, And then that kind of set
Speaker 1: me down. A spiral where I got burnt out.
Speaker 2: I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't I lost the love for social media and
Speaker 1: content creating. I don't expose my son's face on social media,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to keep you know, aspects of his
Speaker 1: life private. And at that period of my life, my
Speaker 1: life was motherhood and was franky, and you know, I
Speaker 1: found it hard to differentiate between that and my content.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I just got burned out.
Speaker 1: I didn't like what the comments were saying, and I
Speaker 1: just thought, you know, what is this, what's the point?
Speaker 2: So I just delete. I didn't even say goodbye post.
Speaker 2: I just lead at the app for a year, taken
Speaker 2: a year of yeah, exactly a.
Speaker 4: Year actually, which was crazy, and what happened in that
Speaker 4: year that's a very yeah, that's a very interesting experiment.
Speaker 3: In times, it was so relaxing.
Speaker 1: And in the first three months I completely did not
Speaker 1: have social media, and then I would bring it back
Speaker 1: for one day and then delete the app again.
Speaker 2: And you know, I took it really easy.
Speaker 1: I think, you know, unfortunately, in the world of social media,
Speaker 1: I did feel like I was missing out on certain
Speaker 1: aspects of life and news.
Speaker 2: So I, you know, slowly.
Speaker 1: Brought it back and then I haven't gone back to TikTok,
Speaker 1: I haven't downloaded TikTok. I've left that world. I found
Speaker 1: TikTok is great, but it is there's not as much
Speaker 1: from a content creator's perspective, not as much loyalty.
Speaker 2: As there is on Instagram, just from my own and
Speaker 2: so I never really.
Speaker 1: Loved TikTok as much as I liked working on Instagram.
Speaker 2: And then yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Just just said to my husband one day, like, I
Speaker 1: think I'm going to go back, And he said, I
Speaker 1: knew this was going to come.
Speaker 2: And I was like, yes, yes, because I.
Speaker 3: What did he noticed?
Speaker 4: Had he noticed a difference in you? Without social media?
Speaker 2: I had more time, That's for sure. I was definitely
Speaker 2: less stressed. I would.
Speaker 1: You know, it got to the point where I was
Speaker 1: so stressed to make content that when it came to
Speaker 1: making it, I couldn't actually make it because I was
Speaker 1: so stressed.
Speaker 3: Right that any creativity has gone yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was such a perfection So I was like, well,
Speaker 1: anything I create, it's not going to be good enough.
Speaker 1: And that's you know, that fear paralyzed me. Uh And
Speaker 1: I know so many people feel that in any industry,
Speaker 1: So in that time, I did actually take a returnity
Speaker 1: the leave of sorts, and it was very fun, very free,
Speaker 1: and then some really exciting opportunities and work came up
Speaker 1: outside of social media, and that's how I got started
Speaker 1: on hosting a podcast with the Sydney Childn's Hospital.
Speaker 3: Network, right the Kid's Health Kid's Health Explained.
Speaker 1: Yes, it is a really cool project and I was
Speaker 1: honored to be invited to host. And there's some you know,
Speaker 1: I did some keynotes and got some other projects under
Speaker 1: the way that will be announced hopefully later in the
Speaker 1: year or early next year. But it just gave me
Speaker 1: time to work on projects that I probably couldn't have
Speaker 1: considered with my actual statement at the time.
Speaker 4: But did you notice you said that you had a
Speaker 4: lot more time and it was relaxing, and I know
Speaker 4: you've spoken before about anxiety issues. Did you notice a
Speaker 4: difference in that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: I mean I was living every moment prior thinking well
Speaker 1: I need to make this content.
Speaker 4: And the production of the content or was it also
Speaker 4: the that loop that feed.
Speaker 2: I think it was the loop, and.
Speaker 1: It was just the fact that I couldn't differentiate what
Speaker 1: was my life and what was my job, and you know,
Speaker 1: obviously being a content creator, those two mixed together and
Speaker 1: you are sharing your life on social media. But I
Speaker 1: couldn't feel like I didn't know where the line was,
Speaker 1: and I just wanted to live life for once without
Speaker 1: having to share it with the world. And I was
Speaker 1: able to do that, and it was just I just
Speaker 1: got to be present and do things. And I remember
Speaker 1: just one day making a banana bread and thinking, Wow,
Speaker 1: if I had done this before, I would be stressed
Speaker 1: that I didn't make it into content, something as simple
Speaker 1: as that. So going now, going back into content, I'm
Speaker 1: a lot kinder on myself. I am, you know, if
Speaker 1: I don't make something into contact, that is okay. I
Speaker 1: have a very clear divide now now that my son
Speaker 1: is in daycare two days a week, I'm able to,
Speaker 1: you know, say, all my work I'm going to do
Speaker 1: on those days. I don't worry unless it's you know,
Speaker 1: the odd job here and there that I can integrate
Speaker 1: into my life with Frankie.
Speaker 2: I really have that clear divide now.
Speaker 3: Which is nice when you.
Speaker 4: Are doing your podcast, when you're talking to parents who
Speaker 4: have ill kids on your podcast, Yeah, how is that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we haven't done parents just yet. Where the
Speaker 1: first season one is just focused on talking to clinicians.
Speaker 1: We want it to be very clear with the first
Speaker 1: season that it's you know, health advice coming from the
Speaker 1: professionals themselves, you know, with scientific evidence backing up there alims.
Speaker 2: And everything they had to say.
Speaker 1: It was interesting though, going into the hospital to film
Speaker 1: because they are you know, both rand With Children's Hospital
Speaker 1: Westby Children's Hospital have new buildings and they both have
Speaker 1: these recording studios. When I say recording studios, it's a
Speaker 1: small room with a two couches and we bring our
Speaker 1: own microphone, so it's nothing crazy, but they have these
Speaker 1: little spaces in them. So I walk into the hospital
Speaker 1: and I see all these parents with their kids, and
Speaker 1: I know to an extent what they're going through. And
Speaker 1: it's so interesting because I never wanting to feel pity,
Speaker 1: but I do.
Speaker 2: I won't say I feel pity.
Speaker 1: For them, but I do feel this sadness for them.
Speaker 1: But then I have to remind myself, you know, there
Speaker 1: is hope within sadness. There is good times within that,
Speaker 1: and there is you know, in a children's hospital there
Speaker 1: can be so much beauty. And something I often talk
Speaker 1: about my keynote speeches is people often expect me to
Speaker 1: always like talk about pain and my suffering and all
Speaker 1: that when it comes to my hospital experiences.
Speaker 2: But what I remember is the.
Speaker 1: People, the clown doctors, the starlight room, the music therapists.
Speaker 1: They had these volunteer dogs that would come, and you.
Speaker 4: Know, there's so much doctor Johnny, Yeah, doctor Johnny.
Speaker 1: There's so much positive energy and laughter and love in
Speaker 1: a children's hospital.
Speaker 2: Can't say the same for an adult hospital as much.
Speaker 1: It is definitely a little bit more clinical, but it's
Speaker 1: there is so much love in a Chlom's hospital.
Speaker 2: And I try and remember that when I walk in
Speaker 2: those rooms.
Speaker 3: I think there's a lot of loving.
Speaker 4: You thanks, You've you've packed a lot in, You've jumped
Speaker 4: out of planets, you've moved to London.
Speaker 3: You know, you've toppled out, if you will, chair got.
Speaker 1: Back up again multiple times, multiple times.
Speaker 4: But when you're working through your alphabet list of you
Speaker 4: know what you want to do in life, and like
Speaker 4: you said, this one life, is there anything that you're
Speaker 4: working towards now or that is that's kind of there
Speaker 4: even in an abstract sense, that you want to action?
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I mean there are so many I'm you know,
Speaker 1: only twenty five is a lot more to do. I
Speaker 1: think my biggest goal in life, and I think the
Speaker 1: reason I do what I do and hope to achieve
Speaker 1: in a greater sense someday is I want to educate
Speaker 1: people who don't have a disability about what life is
Speaker 1: like living with a disability. There's a stigma that when
Speaker 1: you have a disability, you're not able to do a
Speaker 1: bunch of things, or you know, people look down on you,
Speaker 1: both physically and.
Speaker 2: Both mentally and literally.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I really hope that by sharing my truth
Speaker 1: and my version of reality, it shows that we're not
Speaker 1: people to be pitied or ashamed to ask questions about.
Speaker 1: You know, I see parents, you know, these little kids
Speaker 1: are say what happened to her? Their parents show them away,
Speaker 1: and it just to be curious. Yeah, exactly, It's normal
Speaker 1: for kids to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask questions,
Speaker 1: because that's not teaching them that this is a part
Speaker 1: of normal life. Anyone, at any point of time, no
Speaker 1: matter where you come from, what you do, or who
Speaker 1: you are, you can fall into the disability minority group
Speaker 1: at any point, and most of the time is out
Speaker 1: of your control. So I want to try and educate
Speaker 1: people that if they or someone they love falls into
Speaker 1: this category, they are both mentally and physically prepared to
Speaker 1: deal with life situations and hopefully make the best decisions
Speaker 1: because of it.
Speaker 4: You know, you say you talk about how disability is regarded.
Speaker 4: Was it an issue when you were falling in love?
Speaker 4: Did Joseph have people that were concerned about his going
Speaker 4: in with you?
Speaker 1: His family actually has a very long line of disability
Speaker 1: support workers, so yeah, really both his mum, his aunt,
Speaker 1: and his grandma were all disability support workers, so in
Speaker 1: very high need facilities, so.
Speaker 2: They had He grew up with this, you know, being familiar.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a really wonderful understanding of you know, disability doesn't
Speaker 1: define you, and you know, there is so much good
Speaker 1: out there if you have a disability. So that was
Speaker 1: never an issue. I think even a lot of my friends,
Speaker 1: that was never something that concerned them. I think one
Speaker 1: of the greatest things my friends have told me, and
Speaker 1: I resolously asked the question, like, what's one of the
Speaker 1: most inclusive things you've seen recently that has you know,
Speaker 1: brought happiness to you and that's been a good thing.
Speaker 1: And one of them was my friends just saying something
Speaker 1: as simple as if I hadn't known you, I probably
Speaker 1: wouldn't have noticed that. But now I see the world
Speaker 1: through the eyes of someone who could have a disability.
Speaker 1: So they might see two steps leading up to the
Speaker 1: place and think, you know, I might not be with them,
Speaker 1: but they think.
Speaker 2: That's not disabled.
Speaker 1: So, you know, I indirectly have you know, changed the
Speaker 1: way in which my friends see the world through an
Speaker 1: accessible man. So I think that's really powerful because the
Speaker 1: end of the day, a lot of the world's inaccessible.
Speaker 1: If the people who make the decisions on how things
Speaker 1: are made accessible or not actually view the view it
Speaker 1: through a person of a disability lens, can I be
Speaker 1: more accessible?
Speaker 4: Do you sometimes feel fatigued at being the person that
Speaker 4: has to answer the questions how do you preserve your
Speaker 4: you know, life force?
Speaker 1: I think, Look, there's lots of different types of advocacy
Speaker 1: out in the world. I am not one of those
Speaker 1: people to lead a march. I completely admire and support
Speaker 1: the people who do, so my kind of advocacy is
Speaker 1: more I try and as I mentioned, try and change
Speaker 1: people's perspectives little by little. I guess what fatigues me is,
Speaker 1: you know, there's just the little things. It's the tiny
Speaker 1: minuscule things that could be so easily fixed that you know,
Speaker 1: even if you ask to be fixed, is so miniscule
Speaker 1: that it won't be fixed. That's what tires me is
Speaker 1: that when there's it almost feels like there's no point
Speaker 1: in asking.
Speaker 2: Because it's not gonna happen.
Speaker 1: Like what little things, Just something even as simple as
Speaker 1: like cracks in the pavement where a wheelchair and can
Speaker 1: confirm has happened, like someone can tip out of their wheelchair,
Speaker 1: or when you're crossing the road and there's a little
Speaker 1: lip or you know. I went to the opera house
Speaker 1: the other night, and thankfully I was wearing my prosthetics
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 2: I was in my wheelchair. There are steps to the
Speaker 2: car park lift, and.
Speaker 1: I'm sure there was another lift that was more accessible,
Speaker 1: but the lift I went to had stairs to it.
Speaker 1: Something as it was like the post office near where
Speaker 1: I live has I think, four steps to get up.
Speaker 1: Instead of putting a ramp, they've got an electric lift
Speaker 1: that a takes forever and is always broken. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know I can call up and say this
Speaker 1: lift is broken.
Speaker 2: Put a rampant. They're not going to do that. They're
Speaker 2: going to be like, no, we've got.
Speaker 3: A lift and also you've got other stuff to do.
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly. So it's this I'm sick and tired of
Speaker 1: accessibility and people with disability has been that tick box,
Speaker 1: you know, tick, we've done it, tick, we've made it accessible.
Speaker 1: Tick We've included a person with a disability or something
Speaker 1: to that extent, and that been it. It's just you know,
Speaker 1: a mark on a box to say we're inclusive, and
Speaker 1: it doesn't go beyond that.
Speaker 4: Well, this sort of advocacy, as you seed, everyone does
Speaker 4: it differently.
Speaker 3: I think this is very valuable.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. I hope so.
Speaker 1: And I know you know there's a long way to go.
Speaker 1: We've come a long way in the world, but you
Speaker 1: know there's always.
Speaker 2: More to do.
Speaker 4: You've come a long way. Sure, it's quite remarkable how
Speaker 4: you share yourself with just such grace and happiness. That's
Speaker 4: really beautiful. Do you consider yourself Sophie Delezio? And I
Speaker 4: think I know the answer to this. Do you consider
Speaker 4: yourself a lucky person or an unlucky person?
Speaker 2: Oh? Lucky.
Speaker 1: People always ask me like, if you could go back
Speaker 1: and change it, would you No way? Because everything in
Speaker 1: my life. Everything that's happened, the good, the bad, ugly,
Speaker 1: has brought me to this moment today, and I love
Speaker 1: my life. You know, bad things are always going to happen.
Speaker 1: That is go like, there's no denying that. No one
Speaker 1: could live life without a single bad thing happening to them.
Speaker 2: That's just not real.
Speaker 1: But what you can control is what you do after
Speaker 1: the bad thing happens, how you view the world that
Speaker 1: you live in, how you treat people, what you do
Speaker 1: with your kindness and the love that you have to give.
Speaker 1: That's what you can control. Current control the bad stuff.
Speaker 1: So that's how I try and view life. Bad things
Speaker 1: are going to happen. It might be someone doing it,
Speaker 1: it might be just life doing it to you.
Speaker 3: Sometimes we do it to ourselves exactly.
Speaker 1: Sometimes a lot of the time, unfortunately we do it
Speaker 1: to ourselves. But we can choose to live life with kindness,
Speaker 1: and that's how I try and live life.
Speaker 3: You're a beautiful girl.
Speaker 4: That's very great, very happy to see you and very
Speaker 4: happy for you to have joined us on No Filter.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me, and I wish you.
Speaker 3: Every good fortune.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 4: That was Sophie de Lezio. What stayed with me since
Speaker 4: we spoke. Is how deliberately Sophie has built her own
Speaker 4: definition of herself, not the girl from the headlines, but
Speaker 4: a wife, a mother, and now someone using everything she's
Speaker 4: been true to help other families navigate their own hard moments.
Speaker 4: Sophie's new podcast, Kid's Health Explained, made with the Sydney
Speaker 4: Children's Hospital Network, is out now wherever.
Speaker 3: You get your podcasts.
Speaker 4: If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you follow No
Speaker 4: Filter wherever you're listening, and Mamma Mia subscribers get to
Speaker 4: hear it first. Every episode of No Filter drops two
Speaker 4: full days before regular listening, exclusive for subscribers. Plus, you
Speaker 4: get access to subscriber exclusive episodes across the Mumma Mea Network.
Speaker 4: Tap the link in the show notes and become a
Speaker 4: Mumma Mea subscriber. Today, I'm your host, Kate Langbrook. Thanks
Speaker 4: for listening to No Filter