WEBVTT - Mad Mabel Is A Real Woman And We Have So Many Questions 0:00:08.234 --> 0:00:10.914 You're listening to I'm im a mea podcast. 0:00:20.074 --> 0:00:23.754 Hello, and welcome to Unleashed, the podcast for gen X 0:00:23.834 --> 0:00:27.634 women who need a laugh. If you remember how your 0:00:27.674 --> 0:00:32.673 strawberry shortcake doll smelt, can't remember why you walked into. 0:00:32.434 --> 0:00:33.914 The room, always me. 0:00:34.114 --> 0:00:35.394 You've found your people. 0:00:35.594 --> 0:00:38.833 Okay, who is on the sofa today? 0:00:39.473 --> 0:00:41.114 Hella people. 0:00:41.354 --> 0:00:44.754 It's Grace Ben Ben Lam and I'm a fashion stylist. 0:00:45.674 --> 0:00:48.553 Hello, I'm Sally Hitworth and I'm an author. 0:00:48.833 --> 0:00:49.114 Hi. 0:00:49.233 --> 0:00:52.394 I'm Kat Mahoney. I'm a comedian and I'm Ginny Meersberg. 0:00:52.513 --> 0:00:53.714 I am a gpay you. 0:00:53.794 --> 0:00:54.953 Welcome, Welcome, welcome. 0:00:55.114 --> 0:00:58.834 Okay, wherever you're listening and clench your jaw, clench your 0:00:58.874 --> 0:01:00.194 pelvic floor. 0:01:00.394 --> 0:01:02.794 And get ready to unleash. 0:01:02.994 --> 0:01:03.034 Go. 0:01:06.354 --> 0:01:09.634 Okay, So I would like to kick off with something 0:01:09.794 --> 0:01:13.594 that I have been faking for many, many years. So 0:01:13.834 --> 0:01:16.714 if you're a football and or soccer fan, depending on 0:01:16.754 --> 0:01:18.474 what you call it, you know that we've just had 0:01:18.474 --> 0:01:21.314 the massive World Cup, big sporting spectacle that it was. 0:01:21.754 --> 0:01:25.034 What I would like to admit to is I've actually 0:01:25.594 --> 0:01:28.474 never ever, ever ever. 0:01:28.594 --> 0:01:29.714 Been into sport. 0:01:29.954 --> 0:01:34.474 Wait, and I have only ever faked any interest in 0:01:34.514 --> 0:01:37.194 sport due to a tour boy. 0:01:37.474 --> 0:01:40.914 Sorry, correct me if I'm wrong. You were married to 0:01:41.874 --> 0:01:44.953 a sports player of some description, a soccer player, rugby player, 0:01:45.034 --> 0:01:47.474 rugby league. Did you fake it with him? 0:01:47.754 --> 0:01:47.954 Yeah? 0:01:47.954 --> 0:01:49.394 I did fake it with him on my car. 0:01:49.594 --> 0:01:52.194 All those fake it with him, I've had to fake 0:01:52.314 --> 0:01:56.394 understanding the game. This started for me with Anthony Jones 0:01:56.394 --> 0:02:00.514 when I was ten. He played basketball, so I just 0:02:00.554 --> 0:02:03.394 became obsessed with basketball, so much so that I made 0:02:03.474 --> 0:02:07.434 it onto the under elevens South Wales basketball team only 0:02:07.434 --> 0:02:08.194 because I was tall. 0:02:08.474 --> 0:02:10.274 I had nothing else. 0:02:10.874 --> 0:02:13.794 And then I went to university and my boyfriend was 0:02:13.794 --> 0:02:17.194 heavily into Manchester United, so I became a Manchester United fan. 0:02:17.314 --> 0:02:20.274 As you do, as you do, and as Sally said, 0:02:20.354 --> 0:02:23.634 I then met my lovely husband, who was a sports star, 0:02:23.714 --> 0:02:27.474 played rugby leg Andrew Johns. I then faked knowing the 0:02:27.554 --> 0:02:32.954 rules and being interested for eight or nine years. During 0:02:32.994 --> 0:02:35.314 that time, I got a job at Channel nine as 0:02:35.314 --> 0:02:40.194 a publicist, predominantly to look after their sports programs, so 0:02:40.274 --> 0:02:44.154 I had to pretend to understand cricket. We did a 0:02:44.154 --> 0:02:49.074 bit of tennis, swimming, rugby league. I just never knew 0:02:49.074 --> 0:02:50.554 the rules or enjoyed it. 0:02:50.714 --> 0:02:53.954 Did you have to come clean? In an actual moment 0:02:54.154 --> 0:02:56.114 with your husband to tell him that you actually didn't 0:02:56.154 --> 0:02:58.154 like rugby league or was it something that just became 0:02:58.234 --> 0:02:59.154 obvious overtime. 0:02:59.234 --> 0:03:01.074 Now I've just never admitted it, and I feel like 0:03:01.114 --> 0:03:05.074 it's calmer now that my son has played rugby league 0:03:05.114 --> 0:03:08.634 since he was five and is continuing potentially in dad's 0:03:08.674 --> 0:03:11.754 footsteps as a rugby league player. So I am the 0:03:11.754 --> 0:03:15.554 person that has to spend my entire weekend watching sport 0:03:15.634 --> 0:03:17.994 because it's rugby union on a Saturday, rugby league on 0:03:18.034 --> 0:03:19.034 a Sunday. 0:03:19.154 --> 0:03:23.034 I would have thought faith two perfect people to learn from. 0:03:23.234 --> 0:03:26.594 Oh what, But if you ask a man to explain 0:03:26.634 --> 0:03:29.194 a sport, absolutely strap yourself in. This is just going 0:03:29.234 --> 0:03:32.274 to be the most horrific hour of your life. So 0:03:32.354 --> 0:03:34.514 I think it's much better to pretend that you know 0:03:34.554 --> 0:03:37.714 what you're talking about and just not along zone out, 0:03:37.794 --> 0:03:40.634 because otherwise you're going to get the full thrighted description, 0:03:41.114 --> 0:03:42.674 horror story, great strongling. 0:03:42.674 --> 0:03:43.594 Look, I've just got to. 0:03:43.514 --> 0:03:46.754 Say, I feel like I've spent forty years trying to 0:03:46.754 --> 0:03:49.874 give a shit about stuff we really don't care about. 0:03:50.274 --> 0:03:55.194 You can screw your tries, your points, your conversions. Yeah, 0:03:55.274 --> 0:04:00.114 I don't even know what crickets side rule exactly. 0:04:00.794 --> 0:04:03.514 So that is me. I feel like I have fessed up. 0:04:03.634 --> 0:04:05.434 Let it go goirlfriend, I've let it go, and I 0:04:05.434 --> 0:04:07.714 would like to say to Channel nine, I'm sorry that 0:04:07.834 --> 0:04:10.474 during that interview for forty five minutes, I. 0:04:10.594 --> 0:04:15.514 Lied my love and passion the sport. I don't understand 0:04:15.514 --> 0:04:16.553 and I don't care anymore. 0:04:17.313 --> 0:04:22.354 Do you know what I have faked on multiple occasions. 0:04:22.354 --> 0:04:24.593 I think maybe we have got a theme. You know, 0:04:24.674 --> 0:04:26.953 you went for the sport. One thing that I have 0:04:27.073 --> 0:04:30.113 had is the theme with my ex's is live music, 0:04:30.753 --> 0:04:36.553 and I don't like. I don't like more particularly any music. 0:04:36.633 --> 0:04:39.914 I like to listen to smooth their fem and listen 0:04:39.953 --> 0:04:42.433 to the same music that I've listened to since the 0:04:42.553 --> 0:04:45.154 nineties in the car on the way to school with 0:04:45.193 --> 0:04:45.673 my dad. 0:04:46.313 --> 0:04:48.714 We're going to go karaoke together. Now, yeah, it's not going. 0:04:48.714 --> 0:04:52.313 To go I love Whitney Houston, you know. But look, 0:04:52.553 --> 0:04:56.274 I once pretended that I wanted guitar lessons in order 0:04:56.313 --> 0:04:59.353 to get together with this guy who did become my boyfriend, 0:04:59.354 --> 0:05:02.234 and then I immediately dropped the guitar lessons. And I 0:05:02.433 --> 0:05:05.033 also had a very lovely boyfriend when I lived in 0:05:05.073 --> 0:05:08.393 London and the two things I hate probably the most 0:05:08.553 --> 0:05:12.713 a camping and live music, and I went to Glastonbury. 0:05:12.753 --> 0:05:16.154 That's how committed I was to live music. And I 0:05:16.193 --> 0:05:18.553 don't even know if I fully understood that I didn't 0:05:18.674 --> 0:05:21.153 like it until one day sort of in my late 0:05:21.234 --> 0:05:24.513 thirties where I was at a concert and I was 0:05:24.633 --> 0:05:26.433 very loud and I wanted to go home and I 0:05:26.474 --> 0:05:28.393 was sick of standing up there, and I it just 0:05:28.433 --> 0:05:31.873 distilled to me all this time, I don't like this, 0:05:32.234 --> 0:05:33.514 and it feels good to say it. 0:05:33.633 --> 0:05:35.993 What about you, Grace, What have your fate really fakes? 0:05:36.034 --> 0:05:38.954 Of course you know the smile very directly. But when 0:05:39.034 --> 0:05:43.034 I was a teenager started dating, I was in hanging 0:05:43.034 --> 0:05:44.634 out with this guy that I fancy and we will 0:05:44.674 --> 0:05:48.273 fans each other. And you know, English is my second language. 0:05:48.274 --> 0:05:50.274 I speak three language people, by the way, Yes, So 0:05:50.313 --> 0:05:52.633 he was saying something like, you know, play it by ear, 0:05:52.993 --> 0:05:56.034 and I've never heard that phrase before. So I started 0:05:56.034 --> 0:05:57.033 playing with this ear. 0:05:58.313 --> 0:05:59.713 And he was like, what are you doing? 0:05:59.753 --> 0:06:01.314 I said, you just told me to play with your ear, 0:06:01.794 --> 0:06:04.074 and I was like, no, pay it by ear, I'm 0:06:04.073 --> 0:06:06.193 not what does that mean? He goes and he explained I'm. 0:06:06.034 --> 0:06:10.674 Like, oh, what you say, though I have heard that. 0:06:12.794 --> 0:06:16.034 Yes, that's all. Okay. 0:06:16.073 --> 0:06:18.794 So when Daniel, my husband, and I were first getting 0:06:18.794 --> 0:06:21.073 to know each other, we were sending each other text 0:06:21.193 --> 0:06:23.873 you know, like we're just like exchanging. It was like 0:06:23.914 --> 0:06:27.914 a volley match. So I asked him what his favorite 0:06:27.953 --> 0:06:30.314 Sunday would be and guess. 0:06:30.073 --> 0:06:30.633 What it was. 0:06:31.274 --> 0:06:34.033 He said, a barbecue and then watch the cricket. I 0:06:34.034 --> 0:06:35.074 thought I was going to die. 0:06:35.193 --> 0:06:36.394 That was my worst thing. 0:06:37.034 --> 0:06:39.353 And then I said what would be your best holiday? 0:06:39.393 --> 0:06:41.553 And I understand that some people would like this, but 0:06:41.594 --> 0:06:43.113 he said, I'd like to go for a week to. 0:06:43.113 --> 0:06:43.993 The mal Dives. 0:06:44.154 --> 0:06:46.593 And I am just I can't sit still and that 0:06:46.753 --> 0:06:47.954 is just like kill me now. 0:06:48.073 --> 0:06:49.794 I just would hate that. I need to be on 0:06:49.834 --> 0:06:50.674 the go the whole time. 0:06:50.714 --> 0:06:51.953 I'll go with him to the mal Dives. 0:06:51.993 --> 0:06:54.553 Okay, yeah, I'll give you his number. He's definitely came 0:06:54.633 --> 0:06:56.073 to go with somebody again. 0:06:56.234 --> 0:06:59.553 I feel like every road leads to the opposite sex. 0:06:59.633 --> 0:07:01.074 Are all the things that we faked? 0:07:01.113 --> 0:07:04.873 Well, he's to that ending, ladies, Okay, thank you. 0:07:04.794 --> 0:07:05.274 No, thank you. 0:07:06.113 --> 0:07:08.674 Speaking of ship that we're done with, Kathma, honey, I 0:07:08.714 --> 0:07:11.714 want to give a message to the advertising industry. Do 0:07:11.754 --> 0:07:14.114 you know what I saw on Instagram the other day 0:07:14.234 --> 0:07:17.354 that a midlife woman was saying how she is a 0:07:17.393 --> 0:07:21.794 consultant to a beauty company that wants to sell products 0:07:21.874 --> 0:07:24.994 to a midlife women gene next woman, And then she 0:07:25.114 --> 0:07:27.874 said she was in a meeting with these people and 0:07:27.914 --> 0:07:30.634 this late. These group of people were saying, we need 0:07:30.674 --> 0:07:33.953 to hire twenty to thirty year old to sell this product. 0:07:34.474 --> 0:07:37.794 I'm like, squeeze me to sell products to our age. 0:07:38.154 --> 0:07:40.474 I don't want to look at a young, young chick 0:07:40.594 --> 0:07:44.634 selling product for me. I mean, what the fuck? Honestly, 0:07:44.874 --> 0:07:47.913 what's wrong with us advertising for our own people? 0:07:48.034 --> 0:07:49.754 What women our age does want to look at a 0:07:49.794 --> 0:07:52.634 twenty to thirty year old woman advertising our products? 0:07:52.474 --> 0:07:55.074 But also, our skin is so different. So what are 0:07:55.114 --> 0:07:56.714 you saying about people like us right? 0:07:56.754 --> 0:07:57.194 Our age? 0:07:57.274 --> 0:08:00.234 Oh, we don't matter, We shouldn't look good at our age. 0:08:00.274 --> 0:08:03.354 I mean, come on, doctor GINI yeah, that doesn't make 0:08:03.354 --> 0:08:05.393 sense to me at all. I do think that a 0:08:05.434 --> 0:08:07.434 lot of us think that we're ten years younger than 0:08:07.434 --> 0:08:10.154 we actually are. So if you're on your fifties, you 0:08:10.194 --> 0:08:12.234 sort of think of yourself as being in the forties, 0:08:12.234 --> 0:08:13.914 and then all of a sudden, You're like, but I'm 0:08:13.914 --> 0:08:15.914 not the age that my mother was when blah blah 0:08:15.914 --> 0:08:17.874 blah had a memory and she was really old. So 0:08:17.914 --> 0:08:20.914 we kind of subtract ten, subtract ten. So if you're 0:08:20.914 --> 0:08:22.754 in your seventies, you kind of want to look at 0:08:22.754 --> 0:08:24.594 a sixty year old. If you're in your sixties, you 0:08:24.634 --> 0:08:26.674 want to look at a fifty year old. I sure, 0:08:26.794 --> 0:08:28.234 sit don't want to look at a twenty year old. 0:08:28.234 --> 0:08:28.674 Like that is. 0:08:30.274 --> 0:08:32.994 I'm phasing out at this point, So I think that 0:08:33.154 --> 0:08:36.434 consultant like, nah, she's not going to have any work. 0:08:37.034 --> 0:08:37.114 No. 0:08:37.474 --> 0:08:40.914 I think it depends on your algorithm, because I only 0:08:40.954 --> 0:08:42.833 realize when I'm with other friends and I look at 0:08:42.834 --> 0:08:45.634 what their phones are doing and what their social media 0:08:45.714 --> 0:08:49.474 is showing them. Mine is full of old ladies. I 0:08:49.554 --> 0:08:52.554 mean it is. I'm following the people who are graying 0:08:52.594 --> 0:08:56.314 out their hair. You know, they're very satisfying to watch online. 0:08:56.714 --> 0:09:01.954 I'm following Julia Louis Dreyfus's podcast Wiser than Me, which 0:09:01.994 --> 0:09:04.554 is where she interviews older women. I think they call 0:09:04.594 --> 0:09:08.274 themselves old women and people aging gracefully, which, by the way, 0:09:08.274 --> 0:09:10.634 I am not. But there's nothing that brings me more 0:09:10.754 --> 0:09:15.394 joy than an unadulterated older woman in her bathers with 0:09:15.514 --> 0:09:18.234 wet hair, laughing with her friends. That kind of imagery 0:09:18.394 --> 0:09:21.714 is what sells me stuff. You know, my whole life 0:09:21.794 --> 0:09:24.274 is about older women. I write books about older women. 0:09:24.754 --> 0:09:28.674 You know, my friends are largely like you, guys older 0:09:28.674 --> 0:09:28.954 than me. 0:09:30.034 --> 0:09:32.234 Thanks for reminding me, and thank you. 0:09:32.434 --> 0:09:34.554 I'm ten years younger than I thought I was, thanks 0:09:34.554 --> 0:09:36.234 to doctor Jinny's yeah you're welfare. 0:09:37.274 --> 0:09:37.594 Thanks that. 0:09:37.834 --> 0:09:39.434 I don't know why we want to be I agree. 0:09:39.434 --> 0:09:41.834 I don't think that any women I know want to 0:09:41.834 --> 0:09:45.034 be looking at younger women's faces advertising stuff for us. 0:09:45.114 --> 0:09:48.994 Sally Hepworth, best selling author, and I'm just going to 0:09:49.034 --> 0:09:52.234 say mad Mabel all over the Empire State Building in 0:09:52.274 --> 0:09:53.674 New York, if you please. 0:09:54.314 --> 0:09:54.834 Who is she? 0:09:55.034 --> 0:09:56.754 Do you have someone in mine when you wrote her? 0:09:56.954 --> 0:09:57.434 I did. 0:09:57.554 --> 0:10:00.994 Actually, there was a real life old lady who I 0:10:01.114 --> 0:10:04.114 met at a book event annually. I was looking for 0:10:04.154 --> 0:10:06.074 a new book idea, and she waited to have her 0:10:06.114 --> 0:10:09.114 book signed right until the end. And she came up 0:10:09.114 --> 0:10:12.074 to me and she said, I'm thinking of murdering my 0:10:12.114 --> 0:10:16.234 next door neighbor shuts up no, And I said, fantastic. 0:10:16.354 --> 0:10:18.953 How are you going to do it, you know, because 0:10:18.954 --> 0:10:21.714 I was looking for inspo. And she said, I don't 0:10:21.754 --> 0:10:23.234 know how I'm going to do it, but I know 0:10:23.354 --> 0:10:26.434 that I'm going to get away with it. And I said, 0:10:26.914 --> 0:10:28.834 how the dickens do you know that? And she said, 0:10:28.834 --> 0:10:31.554 because there are two groups of people who were never 0:10:31.794 --> 0:10:35.754 suspected of murder, and those are old ladies and little girls. 0:10:35.954 --> 0:10:37.034 Oh my god. 0:10:37.074 --> 0:10:39.754 And that was the beginning of the book. But when 0:10:39.914 --> 0:10:42.954 I was touring Mad Mabel this year, I returned to 0:10:42.994 --> 0:10:45.994 the same event where I had met Rosalie. It was 0:10:46.034 --> 0:10:49.274 the woman's name, and I was about to tell the story, 0:10:49.314 --> 0:10:51.034 because that was the story I was telling that this 0:10:51.154 --> 0:10:54.314 was the inspiration, and I remembered that this was the 0:10:54.354 --> 0:10:57.474 place where i'd met her, and I suddenly panicked and thought, 0:10:57.514 --> 0:11:00.034 what if she did murder her neighbor? And I just 0:11:00.074 --> 0:11:02.994 stand up and I give the whole story away. And 0:11:03.034 --> 0:11:05.154 so I spoke to the organizer and I said, is 0:11:05.194 --> 0:11:07.834 there a Rosalie here? And she's sent out a couple 0:11:07.874 --> 0:11:10.194 of Lackey's. And the best thing about it was that 0:11:10.714 --> 0:11:13.434 only the only thing anyone cared about was making sure 0:11:13.434 --> 0:11:15.394 that Rosalie got away with the murder. No one was 0:11:15.434 --> 0:11:19.954 concerned about the neighbor. But we found that there was 0:11:19.954 --> 0:11:22.594 one Rosalie there, she was too young. And then they 0:11:22.634 --> 0:11:24.994 reported that there was an elderly Rosalie, but that she 0:11:25.114 --> 0:11:29.234 had passed away. So we believe that the real mad 0:11:29.274 --> 0:11:31.594 Mabel has now gone to God. We are not sure 0:11:31.914 --> 0:11:48.554 about the neighbor. Okay. I have got a question for 0:11:48.594 --> 0:11:52.994 the group, and that is when does your ex stop 0:11:53.114 --> 0:11:58.594 becoming your responsibility? So I have a scenario here. I've 0:11:58.634 --> 0:12:04.194 been divorced for three years and everything is finalized, the financial, 0:12:04.314 --> 0:12:07.394 the divorce. We're officially divorced. We are now have co 0:12:07.594 --> 0:12:12.394 parenting our three children. Last week, however, he was overseas 0:12:12.394 --> 0:12:14.834 back in the UK with his family. I was at 0:12:14.874 --> 0:12:17.714 home with my three kids and I was driving my 0:12:17.794 --> 0:12:21.714 youngest daughter, Clementine to school, and she had my phone. 0:12:21.754 --> 0:12:26.074 She was probably buying squishes or you know, putting filters 0:12:26.114 --> 0:12:28.394 on her face or putting on Kat's eye or something. 0:12:28.794 --> 0:12:31.554 And as we're driving along, I saw on the screen 0:12:31.594 --> 0:12:34.674 of my car this message flipped up from her dad 0:12:34.794 --> 0:12:36.954 and it was in I just quickly saw that it 0:12:37.034 --> 0:12:39.314 was in the year eleven parents group for our son, 0:12:40.114 --> 0:12:42.434 and I thought that's a bit weird. Didn't know he 0:12:42.514 --> 0:12:44.674 was in that group. Certainly, I've never seen him comment 0:12:44.754 --> 0:12:48.754 in that group. But okay, minute later, Clementine is holding 0:12:48.794 --> 0:12:50.354 my phone says mom. 0:12:50.594 --> 0:12:51.954 Mom, pull over. 0:12:53.154 --> 0:12:53.234 No. 0:12:54.914 --> 0:12:57.674 I thought, okay, let's distress test this because sometimes it's 0:12:57.754 --> 0:13:00.314 just you know, the jumbo butter squishy has come into 0:13:00.354 --> 0:13:03.554 stock or something. So I said, what is it? 0:13:03.594 --> 0:13:05.914 And she said, Dad's sending weird messages? 0:13:06.234 --> 0:13:11.554 And I was like pulled over, and I took the 0:13:11.554 --> 0:13:16.354 phone and there was into the Whole Year eleven parents chat. 0:13:16.474 --> 0:13:21.154 It was like an emoji GIF situation of a little 0:13:21.274 --> 0:13:24.714 cat and it had its little poor going and it 0:13:24.794 --> 0:13:27.274 said I love you. I mean, it didn't say it, 0:13:27.314 --> 0:13:31.034 but that sounded like and I thought it or into 0:13:31.074 --> 0:13:34.714 the group chat of parents of parents and he's in 0:13:34.754 --> 0:13:38.314 the UK, and I'm thinking it's about midnight, and all 0:13:38.354 --> 0:13:40.034 of this is that I'm looking at the phone thinking 0:13:40.194 --> 0:13:44.794 what's my responsibility here? And so then all before my 0:13:45.034 --> 0:13:49.354 very eyes, it starts pinging, ping, ping, ping. Message after 0:13:49.434 --> 0:13:52.314 message after message is coming to the whole Year eleven 0:13:52.354 --> 0:13:58.354 group chat of kittens saying weird things. Clementine's screaming like 0:13:58.474 --> 0:14:02.234 she's freaking out. And then before I could do anything. 0:14:02.514 --> 0:14:04.754 Other parents in the chat who were friends of mine 0:14:04.794 --> 0:14:06.394 were pinging me saying. 0:14:06.314 --> 0:14:07.874 Do something, make it stop? 0:14:08.794 --> 0:14:09.714 Would be drunk. 0:14:09.994 --> 0:14:13.474 It's a UK, right, yes, sometime midnight in the UK. 0:14:13.874 --> 0:14:16.474 He's awake, fair chance, is it? Yeah? 0:14:16.754 --> 0:14:19.354 So I called him. Clementine said call him and I said, you. 0:14:19.274 --> 0:14:22.674 Call him dad, you're the child. 0:14:22.794 --> 0:14:25.874 If she called him didn't answer, the think ping ping ping, 0:14:26.074 --> 0:14:28.914 Then I said, we can't do anything. We've got to 0:14:28.954 --> 0:14:31.914 go started driving, ping, ping pink. She said we've got 0:14:31.914 --> 0:14:34.314 to try again, mum, and so we rang again. This 0:14:34.394 --> 0:14:37.874 time he answered half cut at the pop no idea 0:14:38.794 --> 0:14:42.314 any of this was happening, and was horrified, of course, 0:14:42.354 --> 0:14:46.154 and he immediately deleted the messages and sent an apology 0:14:46.234 --> 0:14:50.834 and whatnot. But it really got me thinking, was that 0:14:50.994 --> 0:14:52.914 my obligation to intervene? 0:14:52.994 --> 0:14:53.714 Then? Is it? 0:14:53.954 --> 0:14:57.994 We'll always be connected with children, and so perhaps there 0:14:58.074 --> 0:15:01.474 is the saving my children from the social suicide of 0:15:01.554 --> 0:15:05.514 having a dad sending cat emojis to the whole school. 0:15:06.314 --> 0:15:10.074 Kath Mahoney, Ginny Mansburg, you've both had experience with ex 0:15:10.194 --> 0:15:13.634 husbands we have. Would you have stepped in to save 0:15:13.714 --> 0:15:14.794 them from emoji gate? 0:15:15.114 --> 0:15:21.194 Helena? Yeah, no, I wouldn't. I mean, I do that. 0:15:21.314 --> 0:15:24.714 I read this really good book called Mum's House, Dad's House, 0:15:25.154 --> 0:15:26.714 and it's a very American book. 0:15:26.754 --> 0:15:27.274 Have you read it? 0:15:28.274 --> 0:15:31.794 Yes, it's so good and so basically what the author 0:15:31.794 --> 0:15:34.794 of this book said was that you now need to 0:15:34.834 --> 0:15:38.594 think about your ex partner as a business partner. 0:15:38.474 --> 0:15:40.314 So forever, for the rest of your lives. 0:15:40.354 --> 0:15:43.354 You guys are going to be in this business relationship together, 0:15:43.354 --> 0:15:46.874 whether you're in the business of raising your kids. But 0:15:47.074 --> 0:15:49.754 in the same way as somebody at work, you would 0:15:49.794 --> 0:15:52.114 never comment on the size of their bum or the 0:15:52.154 --> 0:15:54.514 fact that they're saying really stupid things in a group chat, 0:15:54.914 --> 0:15:57.954 or that they're making a fool of themselves at a party. 0:15:57.954 --> 0:16:00.314 It's just not appropriate for a person that you know 0:16:00.474 --> 0:16:04.714 at work. You need to apply business rules. And what 0:16:04.834 --> 0:16:05.874 a relief like. 0:16:08.234 --> 0:16:09.514 That shit in my life anymore? 0:16:09.634 --> 0:16:10.074 How good? 0:16:10.194 --> 0:16:12.314 Like you know what, everyone's just going to go And 0:16:12.354 --> 0:16:14.834 I wonder she'd divorced him, so like, that's just so good. 0:16:14.994 --> 0:16:17.954 I actually think you were afraid up there wanted children? 0:16:18.434 --> 0:16:21.154 Yeah, is it different when the children are of a 0:16:21.274 --> 0:16:22.314 minor age. 0:16:22.554 --> 0:16:24.874 I think it has something to do with also where 0:16:24.954 --> 0:16:28.554 you're at in the separation, because early days when my 0:16:28.634 --> 0:16:31.874 husband and I had separated, and he, you know, he 0:16:31.954 --> 0:16:35.474 is a famous rugby league player commentator now would often 0:16:35.514 --> 0:16:38.154 be in the press with good and bad things, and 0:16:38.514 --> 0:16:40.914 the way that some journals do. It would always be 0:16:41.034 --> 0:16:44.074 like I'd get added to the story and his ex wife, 0:16:44.114 --> 0:16:47.234 even if it was nothing to do with me and 0:16:47.314 --> 0:16:49.754 his other first ex wife. Like you'd always get added, 0:16:49.794 --> 0:16:52.154 and people would have a comment to you about whether 0:16:52.154 --> 0:16:54.274 it was a good scenario who was involved in or 0:16:54.394 --> 0:16:56.874 bad that you had to bite your tongue. But I 0:16:56.914 --> 0:17:00.634 think you know now years later, it's very different. 0:17:00.714 --> 0:17:04.314 We went harder, isn't it if you're actually being pulled 0:17:04.354 --> 0:17:05.634 in by someone else? 0:17:05.714 --> 0:17:08.914 Yeah, but now you know, many eleven years later, we 0:17:08.954 --> 0:17:11.714 recently had Lewis's formal and we had the pres together. 0:17:12.274 --> 0:17:15.154 And Andrew has met a million gazillion people, and he's 0:17:15.154 --> 0:17:17.194 not very good at remembering people's names or if he's 0:17:17.194 --> 0:17:17.793 met them before. 0:17:18.154 --> 0:17:18.914 And I went. 0:17:18.954 --> 0:17:22.074 We both went together, and I immediately went into former 0:17:22.114 --> 0:17:25.314 publicist mode. It's like you sort of like you joined 0:17:25.354 --> 0:17:28.313 the president that Susan to the right. Susan's got a 0:17:28.354 --> 0:17:31.394 son called Blah Blah blah, and these two girls were 0:17:31.394 --> 0:17:33.434 like oh, a bit sort of excited to meet him, 0:17:33.474 --> 0:17:35.194 but you know, anyway, and I was like, well, just 0:17:35.234 --> 0:17:35.834 move it along. 0:17:35.914 --> 0:17:37.754 That's just I was like, so. 0:17:37.714 --> 0:17:42.154 I'm reading that kath would help Andrew out if he 0:17:42.314 --> 0:17:45.114 was sending cat emojis to the school group. Now GINI 0:17:45.234 --> 0:17:45.793 perhaps not. 0:17:46.194 --> 0:17:48.394 No, I think you know cat emogs you go for 0:17:48.434 --> 0:17:50.194 your life, go for your life, and elephant in there. 0:17:50.314 --> 0:17:52.354 It's definitely come of, what the fuck are you doing? 0:17:52.394 --> 0:17:53.073 Are you drunk? 0:17:53.754 --> 0:17:55.474 Honestly, you're making me lose face. 0:17:55.514 --> 0:17:56.194 I'm Chinese. 0:17:56.594 --> 0:17:58.194 Yeah, but you do that if you liked him, or 0:17:58.194 --> 0:18:00.994 if you didn't like him exactly, still got one straight. 0:18:01.394 --> 0:18:03.234 But you know what talk about. I don't have an 0:18:03.514 --> 0:18:06.874 ex husband, but I do have many ex boyfriends, and 0:18:06.914 --> 0:18:09.354 I'll I'm on a trip recently to a city that 0:18:09.474 --> 0:18:12.394 we were both in the same city and my ex 0:18:12.434 --> 0:18:14.034 I dated him very briefly. 0:18:14.114 --> 0:18:16.634 In my way, you and an ex boyfriend were both 0:18:16.674 --> 0:18:19.394 in the same same city, which we didn't know. So 0:18:19.514 --> 0:18:21.994 I was with my husband and my son and we're 0:18:21.994 --> 0:18:25.914 having a great time. And then I got a message saying, hey, 0:18:26.074 --> 0:18:27.034 you're in my hood, and. 0:18:26.994 --> 0:18:28.914 I was like, what I thought you lived in Brooklyn, 0:18:28.914 --> 0:18:31.033 New York. So anyway, he said, didn't you see my 0:18:31.074 --> 0:18:33.914 LinkedIn post I moved to this country. I said, no, 0:18:34.034 --> 0:18:35.914 I didn't. And I said, do you want to meet up? 0:18:35.954 --> 0:18:37.394 You know, I haven't seen him for fifteen years? 0:18:37.474 --> 0:18:38.954 You said, do you want to meet up? And you 0:18:38.994 --> 0:18:40.674 haven't sit him for fifteen years and you're there with 0:18:40.714 --> 0:18:41.954 your husband and son. 0:18:42.074 --> 0:18:43.434 Yes, did you ask Jason food? 0:18:43.474 --> 0:18:46.434 Of course, I said, oh, by the way, this guy's here, 0:18:46.794 --> 0:18:49.514 Sure we have a coffee with him. I told him everything. 0:18:49.674 --> 0:18:52.354 I mean, I'm very honest with Jason. And of course 0:18:52.394 --> 0:18:54.434 I told my son, I so, by the way, Mama 0:18:54.514 --> 0:18:57.474 might meet one of my exes and they're both there. Yeah, yeah, sure, 0:18:57.514 --> 0:19:00.674 let's go. But this guy, because he's English, is very polite, 0:19:01.034 --> 0:19:05.553 very polite, very lovely gentleman. So we met up. He 0:19:05.674 --> 0:19:08.994 bought us dinner. It was a lovely conversation, you do 0:19:09.554 --> 0:19:10.793 you and Jason, and yes. 0:19:11.674 --> 0:19:12.354 It is that lovely. 0:19:12.674 --> 0:19:14.394 Sounds like a nice guy, really nice. 0:19:14.354 --> 0:19:17.354