Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mom with mea podcast.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Mummy out Loud.
Speaker 3: What women are actually talking about on Friday, the sixth
Speaker 3: of February.
Speaker 2: I am Jesse Stevens, I'm am Vern m.
Speaker 4: And I'm backbitches, but just for today, just I'm Mayor
Speaker 4: Friedman and I've got a new show and it launched
Speaker 4: this week. So I thought I would lock holy in
Speaker 4: a cupboard and come and tell you about it.
Speaker 5: Smile idea.
Speaker 3: Here's what's on our agenda for today, A crisis of Mattering.
Speaker 3: There is a new book out that I think will
Speaker 3: be as influential as Mel Robbins's Let Them Theory, and
Speaker 3: it will change how you think about your life.
Speaker 5: Plus good news, Valentine's Day is actually not the saddest
Speaker 5: day for single people. Bad news, there's a day that's
Speaker 5: much much worse.
Speaker 4: And there's recos because it's Friday. And spoiler alert, I'm
Speaker 4: going to tell you about my hair tintl.
Speaker 2: Of course you are the sixth I've got your life.
Speaker 5: We'll love it.
Speaker 1: I've got an update on my hair tin so you're
Speaker 1: gonna be happy.
Speaker 3: But first, may go on tell us about your new show,
Speaker 3: your new projects.
Speaker 1: I'm in my producer era, So who brought you that?
Speaker 5: How did you get that?
Speaker 4: I got this hat made out louder, says producer, and
Speaker 4: I was like, I need to buy a.
Speaker 3: Thing past me in the office with that on. And
Speaker 3: I muttered to no one all the gear and no idea,
Speaker 3: like yes, that's how I felt, because I think you
Speaker 3: were also wearing dark clothes.
Speaker 5: Wearing this black app Okay, I'm not joking. This was
Speaker 5: my favorite outfit on you. It was like a charcoal
Speaker 5: T shirt, like dark charcoal jeans and then your little
Speaker 5: pink added ass.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was my one little gi I love that
Speaker 1: to my son.
Speaker 5: I think she wear that more often.
Speaker 4: Out louders I ignored, is like, absolutely nice, both of
Speaker 4: you shut up.
Speaker 1: I launched a show this week.
Speaker 4: It's something that I've been working on for about a
Speaker 4: year on and off, and it's a show for women
Speaker 4: kind of over forty. Although younger people have been listening
Speaker 4: and laughing a lot. It for women over forty who
Speaker 4: want to laugh right now because it's a lot out
Speaker 4: there right in our lives and in the world.
Speaker 3: And why aren't you hosting it?
Speaker 2: You've hosted a podcast or two in your time.
Speaker 4: I have, and also I work for free because it's
Speaker 4: my business. But last year I moved away from the mic.
Speaker 4: I wanted to have a bit of a different life
Speaker 4: and I don't want to be like out Loud is
Speaker 4: the show that I'm on and the show that I
Speaker 4: want to be on right with my girls.
Speaker 1: I wanted to.
Speaker 4: Try something different, and at first I sort of put
Speaker 4: myself in there when we were looking for the right
Speaker 4: cast and what the show should be. I put myself
Speaker 4: in there as a bit of a placeholder because I
Speaker 4: thought I can can sort of control it from the inside,
Speaker 4: because I had such a vision in my mind of
Speaker 4: what I wanted to be. But then you know what happened.
Speaker 4: I tried to turn it into out Loud.
Speaker 1: You're coming for us.
Speaker 2: I don't mean to brag, but the format works.
Speaker 1: But it was Timu out Loud for older people, and.
Speaker 3: It was just the I just respect for the host.
Speaker 3: You are not TEAMO out Loud.
Speaker 1: Well, I realized a couple of things. You guys are
Speaker 1: quite good at what you do.
Speaker 2: We've been trying to tell you that, and I didn't.
Speaker 1: Realize that until I got on the couch with people
Speaker 1: who were new to podcasting.
Speaker 3: You've managed to offend us and the entire team Sentence.
Speaker 1: Watch were trying to.
Speaker 4: Out of this hole that I've just dug, And what
Speaker 4: I realized is that, you know, it's funny. I remember
Speaker 4: working in magazines and a competitor was launching and we
Speaker 4: were like, what are they going to do? And my
Speaker 4: boss at the time said to me, if you ever
Speaker 4: want to know what someone's going to do, you just
Speaker 4: look at what they've done before, because people mostly just
Speaker 4: recreate what they've done before, right, Actually it works, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: if it works. And I always remembered that, and then
Speaker 4: without even realizing it, that's what I tried to do
Speaker 4: with Unleashed, except I tried to do it with people
Speaker 4: who are incredibly talented and amazing in their field, like
Speaker 4: big guns in their world, but are all new to podcasting.
Speaker 4: Pretty much all of them are pretty new to podcasting
Speaker 4: and new to each other.
Speaker 1: They didn't know each other.
Speaker 4: Whereas we've built chemistry and this muscle by doing it
Speaker 4: five days a week for so many years all together.
Speaker 3: But we do a very specific thing, and the people
Speaker 3: that you chose are funny and experienced and experts in
Speaker 3: their field and have incredible storytellers. So it's like you
Speaker 3: had to lean into the skill set that they had
Speaker 3: rather than trying.
Speaker 4: Exactly while not also cannibalizing the show that I'm on
Speaker 4: and love with you guys, because that's just not smart
Speaker 4: business and it's too much for the audience to listen to.
Speaker 1: So what it is is different. You're going to learn
Speaker 1: nothing on this show.
Speaker 4: If you want to know what's going on the world
Speaker 4: going into pop culture, you're not going to find out
Speaker 4: by listening to this show. But if you need to
Speaker 4: just laugh and just listen to women your own age
Speaker 4: talking about, you know, whether it's a pop culture reference
Speaker 4: like Adamant or not Happy jan But you don't see
Speaker 4: You're not happy Janny. Do you know? Adamant is no
Speaker 4: even less so okay, so exactly, And sometimes it's just
Speaker 4: nice to be with people your own age, and I
Speaker 4: think particularly when you get to a certain age.
Speaker 1: And the women on the show are all.
Speaker 4: Over fifty except for Sally Hepworth, who is forty five.
Speaker 4: There's Mary Custas, Brunda Pap Andrea all friends of the show.
Speaker 4: They're all out loud listeners, Doctor Jenny Mansburg, Grace.
Speaker 2: Lambs, Grace slam is a twin.
Speaker 4: Too, Katherine mahoney. Yes, we've had a great chut and
Speaker 4: she's nuts in the best way there in the best
Speaker 4: way anyways.
Speaker 1: So it launches.
Speaker 2: Is it once a week?
Speaker 1: It's once a week on Tuesdays?
Speaker 4: Okay, can't cut out louds grass, it's not an instead
Speaker 4: of it's an as well as and it's just.
Speaker 1: A very different and it guess.
Speaker 5: For all jams like this episode this week about not showering.
Speaker 5: I'm like, yes, I've been telling that to everyone. Stop showering.
Speaker 1: How many times do you guys shower.
Speaker 5: Once every second day?
Speaker 1: Oh dear god, what about you?
Speaker 2: At least twice a day.
Speaker 4: I love a good show twice a day to you
Speaker 4: like the climate and the moment.
Speaker 2: Wow, and they're not long showers.
Speaker 4: A confession by someone on the pod this week who's
Speaker 4: quite notorious for not showering.
Speaker 5: And I feel so much better almost ever.
Speaker 4: Anyway, we'll put a link in our show notes. We'd
Speaker 4: love to have you listen and love to know what
Speaker 4: you think.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Super proud.
Speaker 2: A woman named Jennifer B. Wallace. She's a journalist and
Speaker 2: an author.
Speaker 3: She says that everyone you meet is walking around with
Speaker 3: an invisible sign hanging off their neck, and that invisible
Speaker 3: sign reads tell me do I Matter? And it is sad,
Speaker 3: but it's also so true. That's the subject of her
Speaker 3: brand new book called Mattering, The Secret to a Life
Speaker 3: of Deep Connection and Purpose. And interestingly, The New York
Speaker 3: Times pointed out that there are a number of books
Speaker 3: on mattering that have suddenly come out, so it feels
Speaker 3: like it's going to be a word that really defines
Speaker 3: twenty twenty six.
Speaker 4: Because purpose is a bit exhausting, Like when everyone's talking
Speaker 4: about purpose, you feel like, oh god, I've got to
Speaker 4: find a purpose as well as getting a perhaps meeting,
Speaker 4: you know what.
Speaker 3: I also feel like purpose has somehow been le to
Speaker 3: making money, like a purpose has also been like find
Speaker 3: your purpose and then make it into a business, whereas
Speaker 3: mattering is like, I feel like a completely different thing.
Speaker 2: And so the more I've.
Speaker 3: Read about this book, at first, I was like mattering, like, yeah,
Speaker 3: everyone wants to matter. Fine, But the more I've read,
Speaker 3: the more I've gone, oh, Okay, this is a really
Speaker 3: important cultural moment. Mattering to who, Well, that's the thing, right,
Speaker 3: It's about mattering to others. And she says that we're
Speaker 3: obsessed with self care, and we think laying in the
Speaker 3: bath or you know, reading a book or whatever is
Speaker 3: going to be the thing that rehabilitates us. But in fact,
Speaker 3: the best self care is all about relationships, and so
Speaker 3: it's about mattering to others, but also mattering to yourself.
Speaker 3: And she kind of gets to that, but she says
Speaker 3: that we're in a crisis of mattering. So we have
Speaker 3: this sense that we are not valued or our actions
Speaker 3: don't matter, and that leads to depression, anxiety, addiction, all
Speaker 3: of the things that we see work, dissatisfaction.
Speaker 2: And loneliness.
Speaker 3: And she says that the question of whether or not
Speaker 3: you matter is the most fundamental human question.
Speaker 2: We ask it our whole lives. It's what separates us
Speaker 2: from animals.
Speaker 3: Mattering, she says, isn't like a trophy we collect at
Speaker 3: twenty five and put on a shelf and go, I've
Speaker 3: achieved it.
Speaker 2: I matter.
Speaker 3: It is always in transition. So whether it's retirement and
Speaker 3: empty nest, a loss of a job, grieving someone you're
Speaker 3: really close to, moving house somewhere, you can totally undo
Speaker 3: our sense of mattering, and then we have to rebuild
Speaker 3: it again. And she's got some really good strategies for
Speaker 3: like where to find it if you feel like you've
Speaker 3: lost it.
Speaker 4: Breakups as well, I think, yeah, maybe a real because
Speaker 4: it was like I mattered to you, and if someone
Speaker 4: breaks up with you, you're like, well you just said that,
Speaker 4: I actually don't.
Speaker 2: And I vote, do I matter at all?
Speaker 1: And I won't ongoing? Yeah?
Speaker 4: And if I don't matter to the person who matters
Speaker 4: the most to me, where does that leave me?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And so that's why it's like this real crisis. Mia.
Speaker 3: Does this ring true to you, this idea of there
Speaker 3: are different stages in your life where you're confronted with
Speaker 3: like a crisis of mattering.
Speaker 4: I think this is so true and profound. I've been
Speaker 4: thinking about this so much since you said you wanted
Speaker 4: to talk about it today. And the reason it's so
Speaker 4: primal is because where essentially primal tribal beings, and in
Speaker 4: ye olden times, being of value within your tribe is
Speaker 4: the only way you could survive if you were overlooked
Speaker 4: in your tribe, if you didn't matter to anyone, if
Speaker 4: you're invisible, no one was going to protect you, no
Speaker 4: one was going to feed you. You had to show
Speaker 4: your value, right, So our sense of self worth as
Speaker 4: individuals is about and everyone's like, you've just got to
Speaker 4: be good with yourself and you've just got to matter
Speaker 4: to yourself. And it's like, nah, Like it would be
Speaker 4: nice if that was true, but we are hardwired to
Speaker 4: need to matter to other people around us for our
Speaker 4: own survival. So that's why I think when you go
Speaker 4: through big transitions in your life, like this age for
Speaker 4: a lot of women, you know, being in perimenopause and
Speaker 4: then menopause and in a culture that worships youth, and
Speaker 4: that was part of Unleashed, it's that feeling of hang on.
Speaker 4: The society is telling me I don't matter. My kids
Speaker 4: have grown up. They don't need If I have kids,
Speaker 4: they don't need me. I don't matter to my kids.
Speaker 4: Like even when your kids are getting a bit older
Speaker 4: and they go from primary school to high school, I
Speaker 4: remember the Principles saying to us on induction day, you're
Speaker 4: going from being a manager to being a consultant to
Speaker 4: your child, you don't matter as much as you did before.
Speaker 4: And around job and employment, that's why working is such
Speaker 4: a fundamental human need because it's like I'm doing something
Speaker 4: people rely on me. I have not a purpose, maybe
Speaker 4: a universe versal purpose.
Speaker 2: But I can see the impact of my action.
Speaker 1: Yes it matters, Yeah what I do.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think what you said in the beginning, Jesse,
Speaker 5: about how this could be as big as mel robins
Speaker 5: let them. I think this is a direct response to
Speaker 5: if you let them too much, and then you're constantly
Speaker 5: going let them, let them, they're going to break up
Speaker 5: with me, let them, they're moving out. Let them, and
Speaker 5: then suddenly you're by yourself because you've let them all
Speaker 5: just go.
Speaker 1: That's very smart. So like nothing matters, let them, nothing matters.
Speaker 5: And they were like, oh my god, nothing matters. Everyone,
Speaker 5: please like not something matter.
Speaker 1: Stick to let them.
Speaker 3: And that's what Wallace actually says is that this like lol,
Speaker 3: I don't care, loll apathy, Lol, this is all cringe
Speaker 3: vibe that we're culturally in has kind of given way
Speaker 3: to this crisis of mattering, as she calls it. I
Speaker 3: really like what she says about asking other people for help,
Speaker 3: and she calls it extending a sense of mattering.
Speaker 2: So it was like, oh, that's why I ask my.
Speaker 3: Dadd to come over and fix my door, because my
Speaker 3: dad has to like, yes, you have to do erectly,
Speaker 3: and that's my dad like, and you can feel such
Speaker 3: guilt asking anyone for anything, but we're actually doing each
Speaker 3: other favors all the time by giving each other purpose.
Speaker 3: And she talks about there are people who look around
Speaker 3: and go, who do I matter to? And why do
Speaker 3: I matter? But then there's this other crisis of mattering
Speaker 3: too much, And there will be some people who go, like,
Speaker 3: if something happened to me, my world would crumble because
Speaker 3: I care for my aging parents, I care for my children,
Speaker 3: I care for my husband, I care for my blood
Speaker 3: like they almost matter too much. The reason why you
Speaker 3: can still feel quite empty from that is because a
Speaker 3: lot of those people, a lot of those tasks are thankless,
Speaker 3: so the mattering. Often with aging parents, you don't get
Speaker 3: the back.
Speaker 4: And about to be even thicker, do you sometimes feel?
Speaker 4: I remember thinking I just need ten minutes when nobody's
Speaker 4: touching mummy or talking to mummy, including.
Speaker 1: Daddy, there's an end to you, and I feel.
Speaker 4: Like I am just too intrinsic to everybody's well being
Speaker 4: matter too much.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted that, but then I thought about my
Speaker 3: mental health since Luna, and this is not everyone's experience,
Speaker 3: but I wonder if it's actually been the antidote to
Speaker 3: a feeling of not mattering. So I think when I've
Speaker 3: had kind of these moments in my life where I've
Speaker 3: looked around and gone purpose meaning blah blah blah, and
Speaker 3: I've been kind of confused, it's been a difficult question
Speaker 3: to answer. But there is something a lot of people say,
Speaker 3: just parenting make you happier. They want to know, like,
Speaker 3: you know, is motherhood the key to happiness or whatever?
Speaker 3: And a lot of parents are kind of like, ah,
Speaker 3: I don't really know how to answer that, And I
Speaker 3: was like.
Speaker 2: This is what it is. It makes me feel like
Speaker 2: I matter.
Speaker 1: Like do you know what else makes you feel like that?
Speaker 1: A pet? Dogs?
Speaker 4: And there's a saying about if you've got teenagers in
Speaker 4: the house, you want someone to be happy to see
Speaker 4: you when you get home.
Speaker 1: Get a dog, and it's true, like I matter so
Speaker 1: much and that dog.
Speaker 3: I was reading this kind of theory about how there
Speaker 3: are different transitions in life. There are what they call
Speaker 3: anticipated events, so for.
Speaker 2: Example, I've got baby babies.
Speaker 3: There are unanticipated events you lose someone suddenly, and then
Speaker 3: there are non events.
Speaker 2: And I thought this one was so interesting.
Speaker 3: It's the pregnancy that never happened, it's the promotion you
Speaker 3: never got, it's the and it's said that all of
Speaker 3: those thrust upon you a sense of like I need
Speaker 3: to face again why I matter?
Speaker 5: It's actually quite scary, and it's so hard I guess
Speaker 5: to voice that because it becomes kind of well with me,
Speaker 5: like you just need someone to sit with you and
Speaker 5: be like, you'll get the next one or be fine.
Speaker 5: But that period of time can go on forever, even
Speaker 5: though it's happening initially to you for those two seconds.
Speaker 4: Do you mean that's because it's a version of yourself
Speaker 4: that never gets realized.
Speaker 3: That you anticipated and that you expected. So I think
Speaker 3: I've listened to women. So for example, Elizabeth Day has
Speaker 3: talked about how she really wanted children and she had
Speaker 3: these issues with fertility and her all her focus on
Speaker 3: mattering was in her position as a mother, which did
Speaker 3: not happen for her, and it was like, in order
Speaker 3: to recover, she had to go how do I matter?
Speaker 2: Elsewhere?
Speaker 3: And she managed to shift that and is now completely
Speaker 3: happy and at peace with the decision. But there was
Speaker 3: always going to be that moment of like this thing
Speaker 3: hasn't happened.
Speaker 2: I thought I was sort of promised.
Speaker 1: Did you ever read men are from Mars, Women Are
Speaker 1: from Venus?
Speaker 2: I didn't know.
Speaker 4: It was fine author called John Gray. It was really
Speaker 4: big in the sort of the eighties and nineties. There's
Speaker 4: some really you know, some people don't like it, but
Speaker 4: I actually found it so interesting. It's of course some
Speaker 4: generalizations about gender. Certainly a lot of them rang true
Speaker 4: for me. But one of them is about men. Men
Speaker 4: need to feel needed, women need to feel heard, and
Speaker 4: they're different. So often men will be where they struggle
Speaker 4: most with the women in their lives is is she's
Speaker 4: like this, and this is happening, and that's happening, and
Speaker 4: he's like, how can I fix it? Because that's where
Speaker 4: his value to the tribe. He's hardwired to believe that
Speaker 4: being of value to the tribe is of.
Speaker 2: In order for him to matter, and needs to solve.
Speaker 4: Correct And the problem is this is getting sort of big.
Speaker 4: But since women's liberation and feminism, where we are encouraged
Speaker 4: quite rightly to not depend on a man and to
Speaker 4: be able to do things for ourselves, their sense of
Speaker 4: purpose and mattering has become a little bit confused.
Speaker 3: So that brings me to something I couldn't stop thinking
Speaker 3: about in all of this, which is the disillusionment of
Speaker 3: young men and the danger of that. It's like when
Speaker 3: you feel like you don't matter, and this is like
Speaker 3: Scott Galloway has talked about it for young disenfranchised men,
Speaker 3: that's really dangerous. There can be a lash out. There
Speaker 3: can be like whether it's violence, whether it's addiction, whether
Speaker 3: it's it's like you end up finding something and that
Speaker 3: can be corrosive, or that can be like whatever it is,
Speaker 3: you try and fill that void.
Speaker 2: Women are often more.
Speaker 3: Likely to take it out on themselves, Yeah, and to
Speaker 3: internalize it a.
Speaker 2: Little bit more.
Speaker 3: But it's like it becomes a social issue if you
Speaker 3: have a whole community of people who feel like they
Speaker 3: don't matter, whether it's unemployment or whether it's they can't
Speaker 3: build significant relationships, and that society essentially collapse.
Speaker 5: It But then is it also us telling ourselves that
Speaker 5: we matter and then also telling men that they matter?
Speaker 2: Yeah, do we have to tell them that? That's a coin?
Speaker 4: In countries where there's compulsory military service, that's really interesting too,
Speaker 4: because the time after you leave school and your life
Speaker 4: is fairly well regimented, you can suddenly get a little bit.
Speaker 1: Lost after that.
Speaker 4: I mean, if you don't really know what you want
Speaker 4: to do after school, if you don't want to do
Speaker 4: a particular thing or study a particular course, you can
Speaker 4: feel about like how do I matter? Because no one
Speaker 4: cares if I'm at school or not, like all of
Speaker 4: the stuff that you actually.
Speaker 2: Again and you're invisible.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're invisible, and so it's like I don't matter,
Speaker 4: and I think that's one of the reasons that I
Speaker 4: dropped out of UNI.
Speaker 3: Apparently if you feel like you're having a crisis of this.
Speaker 3: There's an acronym that she uses and it's said, so
Speaker 3: the first is significant. You have to feel significant, whether
Speaker 3: that's like seen essential. You have to feel appreciated. So
Speaker 3: that's the thing of the person who's looking after elderly parents.
Speaker 3: You probably don't feel appreciated because maybe it can't be expressed.
Speaker 1: Do you think that's why women like weddings? Yeah, the
Speaker 1: idea of.
Speaker 4: Them because it tells everybody that you matter, Like, guess
Speaker 4: what I am inviting two hundred people?
Speaker 1: So true matter and watch celebrity how much I matter?
Speaker 3: The I is for invested in, So you want to
Speaker 3: feel supported and cared for, invested in. I thought was
Speaker 3: a really interesting one because the other week I had
Speaker 3: a terrible week stuff with pregnancy, and I reached out
Speaker 3: to a few friends and I told them what had
Speaker 3: happened and kept them updated. Every single one of those
Speaker 3: friends followed up a few days later, and so just
Speaker 3: out of nowhere, two o'clock on a Thursday, and said, Hey,
Speaker 3: just thinking about you and how you're going.
Speaker 2: I felt like I madded so much.
Speaker 3: I was like, that is such a good reminder to
Speaker 3: always follow up if someone drops something on.
Speaker 2: You and you move on with your life, just the follow.
Speaker 1: Up, really, you know.
Speaker 4: And I felt that is when I finally spoke out
Speaker 4: about why I left the show, and I'd lost my
Speaker 4: confidence and I was like, I'm not coming back.
Speaker 1: No one misses me.
Speaker 4: And I didn't do it in a woe is me
Speaker 4: or in a thirsty no one misses me?
Speaker 1: Do you miss me? Like it wasn't that.
Speaker 4: Like I genuinely thought, I don't matter anymore because if
Speaker 4: the two years of being told getting the bin, you're evil,
Speaker 4: you're you know, a genocidal murderer. And then when I
Speaker 4: was honest about that, and then when I did come
Speaker 4: back and out loud As was so incredible.
Speaker 1: That's how I felt. I felt, oh, held up by it.
Speaker 4: And it was really humbling, and it was like plugging
Speaker 4: yourself into a charger, feeling that you matter.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you like you're You don't find that an isolation.
Speaker 3: I don't think the d on this as well is
Speaker 3: depended upon So this is why it can be such
Speaker 3: a gift to ask people felt to say. You know,
Speaker 3: I've had friends ask if they can do particular things
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I don't want to burden them.
Speaker 2: They're busy or whatever. It's like could probably make their day.
Speaker 5: Ask me your dad to fix your door?
Speaker 4: Why don't you ask me to do anything genuine questions
Speaker 4: you never do drives me crazy.
Speaker 2: That's because you're already doing it.
Speaker 1: So am I robbing you of the chance?
Speaker 2: No, I'm quite happy with the arrangement.
Speaker 1: Out loud As.
Speaker 5: In a moment, there is something very sinister that is
Speaker 5: happening to bathrooms in hotels. We have to get into it.
Speaker 5: Out loud As. We have a listener dilemma and we
Speaker 5: need your collective wisdom to help us and our partner's
Speaker 5: Yui solve it. So here's a problem from our listener,
Speaker 5: I've always loved fashion for me. Clothes are how I
Speaker 5: express myself.
Speaker 4: Me.
Speaker 5: You didn't have to write in It's fine.
Speaker 2: We all know that's how you express yourself.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I feel understod or attacked. Keep going.
Speaker 5: I like spending time to find unique pieces that feel
Speaker 5: like me. Yeah, we know. My friend Sarah has always
Speaker 5: been more of a jeans and a tea person, but
Speaker 5: lately things have taken a weird turn.
Speaker 2: So she pitching about Holly, Well, I have to point
Speaker 2: out how loud as.
Speaker 1: If you're watching this on.
Speaker 5: YouTube, just and miror wearing the exact same outfit.
Speaker 2: Here, we are exactly.
Speaker 5: It keeps going down.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 5: It started small. I'd buy a specific pair of boots
Speaker 5: and a week later she'd show up in the exact
Speaker 5: same ones. I told myself it was a coincidence. Then
Speaker 5: I wore a very specific silk scarf to brunch and
Speaker 5: three days later she posted a selfie in the same scarf.
Speaker 5: Last week was the breaking point. I bought a design
Speaker 5: address for a mutual friend's wedding, which was a big
Speaker 5: splurge for me, and I showed her a photo of it.
Speaker 5: Guess what arrived? At her house yesterday the exact same dress.
Speaker 5: When I called her out on it, she just laughed
Speaker 5: and said, you just have such great taste. I couldn't
Speaker 5: help myself. We can be twins. I feel like we're
Speaker 5: back in high school. But I'm thirty four and when
Speaker 5: we go out together, it's getting embarrassing. It feels a
Speaker 5: bit like my identity and my style is being stolen
Speaker 5: piece by piece. How can I tell her to stop
Speaker 5: copying me without ruining our friendship? The question is, what
Speaker 5: do you do next?
Speaker 1: Jesse stop coughing me?
Speaker 4: The problem is and we didn't know what this was
Speaker 4: going to be on the show today, and we didn't
Speaker 4: certainly didn't call. But Jesse's actually wearing my shirt. That's
Speaker 4: also my shirt.
Speaker 2: These are also your pants, Yeah.
Speaker 1: So which is kind of different. Give them. It's my
Speaker 1: dream that if it were dressed like me.
Speaker 4: Guys, it's my fucking dream out loud as We are
Speaker 4: in the process of doing a new shoot for the
Speaker 4: whole for the whole cast, and I'm in charge of styling, right,
Speaker 4: I'm in charge of styling. Say who the stylists that
Speaker 4: were used? Who's amazing. I think I might have given
Speaker 4: her the wrong brief because when she came back and
Speaker 4: did references for everybody, everyone was just dressed like me.
Speaker 5: You were the photos in reference literally.
Speaker 4: With my head cut off and put on M's page
Speaker 4: and another one.
Speaker 2: I just assumed, do you put that together?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: I didn't.
Speaker 4: So anyway, I've now come in and at first I
Speaker 4: was like, this is what I want, And then I'm like,
Speaker 4: oh no, wait, and I had a really good idea.
Speaker 4: I'm like, how about everybody dresses in the outfit they
Speaker 4: feel best in.
Speaker 2: I thought you hated when we did that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do, but I'm trying to be mature. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to grow. But back to this thing.
Speaker 4: This has happened to me a lot in my career
Speaker 4: because when women work together, I find in big groups
Speaker 4: of women, which is what I've always done, they start
Speaker 4: to like you start looking like your dogs. Your periods sink,
Speaker 4: but all your wardrobe also can often sink.
Speaker 3: I've done this year where I've gone may or what
Speaker 3: shoes are we wearing at the moment, and then you'll
Speaker 3: send me what shoes Like, I know I need a
Speaker 3: pair of shoes. I don't have the mental load to
Speaker 3: just see.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 4: I think this person, the anonymous sounds like she's gate
Speaker 4: keeping a little bit, and I think you should flip it.
Speaker 4: So I'm very evangelical about my style. I was in
Speaker 4: an Unleashed record and people were commenting on my shoes
Speaker 4: and I was like, I sent everybody the link immediately
Speaker 4: in the group chat, and four of them bought my shoes,
Speaker 4: and that made me really happy.
Speaker 2: I kind of feel the same. I mean, I've never
Speaker 2: had that again.
Speaker 1: Jesse, you were are your shoes from? Oh wait? I
Speaker 1: don't want them, never mind, I hate them.
Speaker 2: I just make sure I never go to that shop.
Speaker 4: Tell me so I can chuck out anything in my
Speaker 4: wardrobe that looks like them.
Speaker 3: Some people that really they like their individuality and their
Speaker 3: uniqueness and having someone I've seen this become very awkward
Speaker 3: in groups where it's like someone will have found some
Speaker 3: shoes deep on the internet and someone goes and buys them,
Speaker 3: and you're.
Speaker 4: Like, good styles talking, you know, but you just got
Speaker 4: to be honest about it.
Speaker 1: You go, is it okay? Five styles talk you? What's
Speaker 1: the link?
Speaker 2: What do you reckon?
Speaker 4: D O?
Speaker 5: I think just mah. I feel bad for Sarah, like
Speaker 5: she's having such a good time, like she's enjoying it.
Speaker 5: We can wear scarves to brush. Now this is she
Speaker 5: was just in the jams and the tea and now
Speaker 5: I'll just open this whole new world the time.
Speaker 1: So don't we all want to twin so true?
Speaker 3: Out louders, please let us know what you would do next.
Speaker 3: Share your thoughts in the Mumma outloud Facebook group and
Speaker 3: if you have a dilemma, send it to us at
Speaker 3: out loud at mummeya dot com dot are you.
Speaker 2: We would love to help.
Speaker 3: Guys. The Washington Post deals with the real issues, and
Speaker 3: I needed to put this on the agenda today because
Speaker 3: apparently hotel guests are rioting about the fact that hotel
Speaker 3: rooms they no longer seem to have bathroom doors.
Speaker 1: I've noticed this.
Speaker 3: People look, they're not literally rioting, but they're complaining. And
Speaker 3: we all know that letters of complaint make people feel
Speaker 3: like they matter, right, So that's really guests are pressed
Speaker 3: because they're checking into a fancy hotel.
Speaker 2: It's costs some four hundred bucks a night.
Speaker 3: They turn up, there's a dividing wall, there's a curtain,
Speaker 3: there's a see through thing where you can see the
Speaker 3: person sitting on the toilet, yeah, yeah, people are having
Speaker 3: none of it. There are TikTok accounts dedicated to bring
Speaker 3: back the toilet door. There are people saying that now
Speaker 3: going to a hotel is either you're going to move
Speaker 3: your relationship forward or you're going to end it because
Speaker 3: it's going to be quite confronting.
Speaker 4: Look, when you're by yourself, it's fine, right, See, it's fine.
Speaker 4: You don't need to close the door so you don't
Speaker 4: see yourself. But just a few weeks ago, I was
Speaker 4: in a hotel. I went down for a family thing
Speaker 4: and I was sharing a hotel room with my husband
Speaker 4: and my adult daughter, and the bathroom was glass, not
Speaker 4: frosted glass, just glass.
Speaker 5: Oh god, that's just not on.
Speaker 2: It's not on.
Speaker 3: I don't want to continue a conversation with someone that
Speaker 3: I can see through the thing. It's like you can
Speaker 3: see them, sit down.
Speaker 4: You can.
Speaker 5: I have a horror story. This was probably when I
Speaker 5: was nineteen years old. I went on a holiday with
Speaker 5: my dad to Hong Kong, sharing a hotel room. I
Speaker 5: really had to go to the bathroom. I ate something dodgy,
Speaker 5: it was bad. It was number two. And he was like, okay,
Speaker 5: we'll get you to the hotel room, run to the
Speaker 5: hotel room. Everything glass. I was like, Dad, no, I
Speaker 5: can't do it, and it was like a glass door.
Speaker 5: And he was like, don't worry. I'll like hang a towel.
Speaker 5: I'll be fine. I won't watch. I'll just hang a
Speaker 5: towel and I'll just be on the bed like chilling
Speaker 5: and waiting. It's fine. So he hangs the tow I'm
Speaker 5: on the toilet doing it.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 5: He turns the light on in the room. The whole
Speaker 5: window like it's glass, not only glass, but glass towards
Speaker 5: the bed where he's sitting on, facing me right level,
Speaker 5: and then a window behind him to the rest of
Speaker 5: the hotel.
Speaker 2: Who asked for the but.
Speaker 4: Also hang on a second etiquette when you're sharing a
Speaker 4: hotel room with anyone, not just your parents or your kids,
Speaker 4: but a partner, a friend, anyone. No.
Speaker 1: Number two is in the room.
Speaker 5: I have food poison there.
Speaker 4: There's other bathrooms in every hotel.
Speaker 1: There is a toilet near the gym, near the lobby.
Speaker 4: Always always because you kidding people there, what.
Speaker 5: If you came back from your pilates class.
Speaker 4: You can't do it in your room and stink out
Speaker 4: the room, or you prefer your roommate to stink.
Speaker 1: Out the room.
Speaker 3: Look, I have been on holidays with lots of other
Speaker 3: people and we've traveled and whatever, and if I don't
Speaker 3: go when I need to go, then I end up
Speaker 3: with stomach issues. And we all know that it's just
Speaker 3: really important to asking you.
Speaker 1: To catch a bus.
Speaker 4: I'm asking you to maybe get in the lift and
Speaker 4: go down one floor.
Speaker 2: This is what you do.
Speaker 3: You get into the hotel that has a transparent door,
Speaker 3: and you go, Okay, fuck, this holiday's right. And then
Speaker 3: you say, let's go to the pool. And then you
Speaker 3: go down to the pool, and then you say I
Speaker 3: forgot my hat, and then you go upstairs and then.
Speaker 2: You do what you need to And it's just an unwritten.
Speaker 5: Contray message you and they can be found it.
Speaker 1: Yea some time, Well they come in because they forgot
Speaker 1: there some.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then that's an absolute relationship ruiner.
Speaker 3: But I want it on the record that we all
Speaker 3: want closed, yeah, proper doors.
Speaker 5: I'd pay extra for a closed door exactly. So Valentine's
Speaker 5: Day is around the corner. I'm very happy because I
Speaker 5: am overseas so I don't have to deal with it.
Speaker 5: The mental load of Valentine's day, and my algorithm is
Speaker 5: filled with two things.
Speaker 4: Well, I have a different calendar where you're going. Does
Speaker 4: it not exist?
Speaker 5: Well, I think because I'm on holiday. So we pretend
Speaker 5: that it's not happening because you're doing holiday stuff.
Speaker 2: Are you gonna be with your dad again?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be okay.
Speaker 2: No, he's gonna buy you a rose.
Speaker 5: I know it. He'll do something crazy. But my algorithm
Speaker 5: is feeding me two things right now. One is reasonably
Speaker 5: price gifts to give your situationship, and the second one
Speaker 5: is ten reasons why you're not alone on Valentine's Day?
Speaker 1: Can you explain situationships to me?
Speaker 4: Because I know people who are like, it's complicated, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, why are either of you married?
Speaker 1: No, it's just a situationship. What does that even mean?
Speaker 3: You're twenty three and you see each other regularly. It
Speaker 3: sounds so simple.
Speaker 5: You're just casually dating. Except one of you thinks you're
Speaker 5: in a situationship and the other person thinks they're single.
Speaker 4: What's the difference between it being a single a situationship
Speaker 4: and a relationship being dating?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 5: Being single is like you're single, you're not dating, You're
Speaker 5: just alone. That's fine.
Speaker 1: That was me.
Speaker 5: That was me. Dating means you're just seeing a few people,
Speaker 5: maybe every few weeks. Situationship means that you're kind of
Speaker 5: liking this one person you're dating, so you're only really
Speaker 5: exclusively seeing them, but you haven't had that conversation. If
Speaker 5: they're also exclusively seeing.
Speaker 2: You, why they would to hook up with someone else?
Speaker 2: Then it's like you.
Speaker 5: Will be a bit sad, but you can't do They
Speaker 5: have to tell you that they're hooking up.
Speaker 1: Well, why is that different from dating? You just said
Speaker 1: you're seeing different people.
Speaker 5: That's a situationship is like when you've decided that you're
Speaker 5: only going to be seeing that person, but you're too
Speaker 5: scared to have the conversation that you're seeing them.
Speaker 2: It's a continuum, and a situationship is one up.
Speaker 5: From and then you've got relationship. My life's really hard, guys. Anyway,
Speaker 5: what do you got in there? I'm in a bit
Speaker 5: of a dating one person right now.
Speaker 1: That sounds like a situation ship.
Speaker 5: It's a bit more.
Speaker 2: Are you getting them a Valentine present?
Speaker 1: Sorry?
Speaker 2: But if I'm not sorry, you just.
Speaker 4: Told me that dating is the rung on the leaderboard. Relationship.
Speaker 5: I'm exclusively dating someone, So that's a situationship. No situationship
Speaker 5: is non exclusive. We'll get there one day, maybe we'll
Speaker 5: do a subject on this. But there was an article
Speaker 5: in Cosmopolitan that made me go, oh my god. It
Speaker 5: was written by Kayla Kibb, and she talked about how
Speaker 5: Valentine's Day is not actually the saddest day for single people.
Speaker 5: It's your birthday. So she referenced this scene in Sex
Speaker 5: and the City and it's when Carrie spends her thirty
Speaker 5: fifth birthday alone. No one shows up to a party,
Speaker 5: and she walks home with her cake by herself, and
Speaker 5: then she's with the call for and she says, I
Speaker 5: hate myself a little for saying this, but it felt
Speaker 5: really sad not to have a man in my life
Speaker 5: who cares about me. And that's when we get that
Speaker 5: I kind of quote from Charlotte where she's like, let's
Speaker 5: be each other's soul mats ah.
Speaker 1: So I did did well?
Speaker 5: Yeah when I remember so specifically watching this episode, and
Speaker 5: it just hit me because I have felt that exact
Speaker 5: sentiment on my birthday. And I also hated a minute again.
Speaker 5: It was I think two years ago where I always
Speaker 5: have to do something on my birthday, like, I always
Speaker 5: have to celebrate it because then if I don't, then
Speaker 5: I just get really really sad and depressed. And I
Speaker 5: always do a big dinner with my family and my
Speaker 5: closest friends. And the dinner was great. I had so
Speaker 5: much fun. And then it got to the point after
Speaker 5: the dinner and everyone went home. Yeah, and my parents
Speaker 5: went home together, my sister and her boyfriend went home together,
Speaker 5: my friends went home together. And I walked home alone
Speaker 5: and got home and then I just bawled my eyes out.
Speaker 1: You thought you didn't matter because I thought I didn't
Speaker 1: make It's okay.
Speaker 2: It's the built in plans element. That's what a good
Speaker 2: relationship has.
Speaker 3: Is that like on Valentine's Day or your birthday, or
Speaker 3: Christmas or New Year's Eve, it's like you have some
Speaker 3: kind of built in like idea of you kind of
Speaker 3: take for granted you won't be alone, right, But I
Speaker 3: reckon even sadder than a birthday single if you don't
Speaker 3: want to be single, is a birthday with a shit
Speaker 3: boyfriend who like being in a ship relationship and they
Speaker 3: don't make it fast and they don't make you feel special,
Speaker 3: and you've got all of these expectations and you spend
Speaker 3: it with them because.
Speaker 4: You know why, because you feel again, you do feel
Speaker 4: like you don't matter and someone disappoints you.
Speaker 1: So what's the.
Speaker 5: Actually because I've never been in a relationship on my birthday,
Speaker 5: so what's the actual feeling of having that opposite?
Speaker 3: But I remember this birthday where like I sensed my
Speaker 3: boyfriend didn't like me, but it was confirmed that day
Speaker 3: and it was just like my birthday was just very much.
Speaker 3: I remember like waking up and being like, oh, what
Speaker 3: do you do? Like he didn't plan anything or anything.
Speaker 3: We've been together for like a year, Like it wasn't
Speaker 3: you know, he should have done something. And then he
Speaker 3: bought me this faulting dress that was like the threads
Speaker 3: were coming out and it was something I would never wear,
Speaker 3: and it was just the most not me present, and
Speaker 3: I was like.
Speaker 2: I don't even I don't care about presents.
Speaker 1: But like you didn't feel seen.
Speaker 2: I'm so offended by whatever the hell this is.
Speaker 3: And then I think he made plans with someone else.
Speaker 3: I was then kind of left in limbo, like are
Speaker 3: we doing dinner?
Speaker 2: Like that was my most oppressing birthday.
Speaker 3: I would rather have been single and then just been
Speaker 3: like at least I can choose what to do, who
Speaker 3: I spend it with.
Speaker 4: Yeah, birthdays it can be really confronting depending on where
Speaker 4: you are in your life.
Speaker 3: I also find New Year's Eve hard single. I reckon
Speaker 3: Newyears Eve is harder than Valentine's.
Speaker 1: Day, lighter pressure at midnight, we're gonna kiss?
Speaker 2: Exactly what did you do?
Speaker 5: In New I always had my girlfriends over and I
Speaker 5: was dating. I was sorry, right, yeah, not to kiss.
Speaker 5: Now look at the fireworks and then make fun of
Speaker 5: all the singers on ABC.
Speaker 2: I remember pastime.
Speaker 3: I remember at school, boys would send like big bouquets
Speaker 3: of flowers to the school for like, and then bear
Speaker 3: thing over the thing, being like em come to the
Speaker 3: office God. And the nuns fucking hated the nuns. Nuns
Speaker 3: had no time for teenage boys.
Speaker 1: They were just like, so, you don't think they were jealous.
Speaker 2: I don't think they were jealous.
Speaker 3: They were just like, honestly, that boy will break your heart,
Speaker 3: which he did, and he's a waste of be a time.
Speaker 2: They just hated it. The public displaze of affection.
Speaker 5: I would call him sick. I wouldn't be able to
Speaker 5: handle that. No, it was too much.
Speaker 2: It was awful after the break.
Speaker 3: Our recommendations from a hair accessory to a book I've
Speaker 3: been dying to tell you about, to the television show
Speaker 3: that is one of the biggest of.
Speaker 5: The year, bribes, ideas, atmosphere, something casual, something fun. This
Speaker 5: is my best recommendation. It is Friday, and we want
Speaker 5: to help set up your weekend with our very best recommendations.
Speaker 5: Who wants to go first? Maya?
Speaker 4: I want to talk about Bridgeton, but that's not my
Speaker 4: that's my record.
Speaker 1: I know it's yours. So why don't you start?
Speaker 5: Okay, I'll start Bridgeton. Season four is out half of
Speaker 5: a season. Fours out now, the first four episodes. The
Speaker 5: rest of the season drops I think February twenty six.
Speaker 4: Why do they do that now? Because Netflix used to
Speaker 4: drop whole seasons of things, and then they started a
Speaker 4: couple of years ago dropping them in two halves.
Speaker 5: I think it's firstly for us to yearn to yearn
Speaker 5: for the season, like how Bridgeton people yearn for each other,
Speaker 5: and then they get an extra promo about it, because
Speaker 5: you know how whenever each Bridgeton series, in each book
Speaker 5: is about one of the Bridgeton's siblings, and they're doing
Speaker 5: that whole play of like they're really in love with
Speaker 5: each other. I remember when Nikola did her Big One
Speaker 5: and even though the guy Colin, the guy who played
Speaker 5: Colin was in a relationship, we all just pretended he
Speaker 5: wasn't because they were just so like Toget, we just
Speaker 5: love them together.
Speaker 1: Those people, it.
Speaker 2: Gives you extra buzz.
Speaker 3: But then I'm watching the Peter I talked about last week,
Speaker 3: and it's week to week and I just don't have
Speaker 3: the patience. I just like, I'm loving it.
Speaker 1: But is that a show you can binge? From what
Speaker 1: I hear?
Speaker 4: I keep stealing myself to try and watch that. Is
Speaker 4: that a show you want to watch all in one?
Speaker 2: I love binging.
Speaker 3: I love sitting down and just being able to watch
Speaker 3: as much as a little as I want. So the
Speaker 3: first four episodes of this are out.
Speaker 2: Is it still very sexy?
Speaker 5: It's still very sexy. It stars yarn Hah who's an
Speaker 5: Australian actress with Korean heritage.
Speaker 4: That was the first thing I googled. So I saw
Speaker 4: her character and she's a new character, the love interest,
Speaker 4: and I was like, is that a bit of an
Speaker 4: Australian accent? And I googled it and it was her
Speaker 4: Australian accent comes through a bit, but I was also
Speaker 4: I'm only.
Speaker 1: Up to episode three.
Speaker 4: It's not as sexy, I think, as the show's got bigger,
Speaker 4: all the stars have had their contracts redrawn a bit,
Speaker 4: so there's just a lot of sort of bed covers
Speaker 4: and stuff. Because it was really launchy the first couple
Speaker 4: of there's not as much. I haven't seen much sex well.
Speaker 5: I think it's very similar to season two, which is
Speaker 5: my favorite season, the one where Jonathan Bailey and Simone Ashley,
Speaker 5: and this right now is on par for me. I
Speaker 5: like the whole storyline, and it seems very similar to
Speaker 5: Downton Abbey, Like you're getting the upstairs and downstairs, so
Speaker 5: with this season in Bridgeton, you're also seeing like the
Speaker 5: servants and the maids and how they talk to each
Speaker 5: other and interact and prepare the houses, which I really
Speaker 5: really enjoy. It's also very similar to a Cinderella story.
Speaker 1: Is it similar? It is like it is.
Speaker 4: I thought that was fantastic, But what you just said
Speaker 4: it's similar to Downtown Abbey. I don't know if you
Speaker 4: found this, but because these shows I'm also watching the
Speaker 4: Gilded Age, which is like the American version of Bridgeton
Speaker 4: or Downto Nabbey. Right, And because I'm watching all of
Speaker 4: these shows and I watched down Town Abbey a bit before,
Speaker 4: I'm now getting them all confused because they've all got
Speaker 4: the upstairs and the downstairs, and you're right, this is
Speaker 4: more upstairs and downstairs. So I keep expecting, like, where's
Speaker 4: Cynthia Nixon gone? Is Christine Baranski in this one? No?
Speaker 4: And then the servant, that guy with the long face, No, wait, he's.
Speaker 1: In the other show.
Speaker 4: So it took me at least an episode to orient
Speaker 4: myself into who's who.
Speaker 3: Can I ask if I watched it, I liked season
Speaker 3: I've been busy. I haven't seen season two or season three.
Speaker 3: Can you dip back in or should you kind of
Speaker 3: watch it all?
Speaker 5: You can dip back in. I reckon you should watch
Speaker 5: it all.
Speaker 2: Go back to two.
Speaker 5: I go back to two. Two is the best. But also,
Speaker 5: when I finished watching these four episodes, you know when
Speaker 5: you watch something and you're so obsessed with it that
Speaker 5: you just want to keep talking about it. So we
Speaker 5: do a podcast called watch Party here at Mama Mia,
Speaker 5: which dissects the biggest TV shows and movies that are
Speaker 5: happening right now, and they've just done a bridget in episode.
Speaker 5: It's hosted by three super fans that we have here
Speaker 5: at Mama Mia, and they talk everything from like why
Speaker 5: certain costumes which chosen, like behind the scenes, we didn't
Speaker 5: have the entertainment team interview the whole cast, Like they
Speaker 5: just know so much behind the scenes that like scratches that.
Speaker 3: It so it's all that stuff. You would sit on
Speaker 3: the couch googling.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's it's all there.
Speaker 1: I find.
Speaker 4: That's the first thing I want to do because also
Speaker 4: the way we watch TV now, you're not up to
Speaker 4: season four. I don't know where you're up to in
Speaker 4: season four?
Speaker 1: Is it season four?
Speaker 4: Well? Yeah, yeah the first I'm like up to episode two,
Speaker 4: so I don't want spoilers. So I love going after
Speaker 4: I've watched the show that I love going and listening
Speaker 4: to a podcast discussion about it because it's like the
Speaker 4: debrief that you need. So I'm going to watch two
Speaker 4: more episodes and then I'm going to listen.
Speaker 5: It's so good, we'll link it in our show notes.
Speaker 2: What's your record?
Speaker 4: My recommendation, I'm gonna have to take my headphones off
Speaker 4: to show you, so some may have people may have
Speaker 4: noticed that I had glitter extensions tin tinsel in my hair. Right,
Speaker 4: it looks really nice with the studio lights on, Thank
Speaker 4: you so much. So what happened is before Christmas, I
Speaker 4: was at the hairdresser and I saw one of the
Speaker 4: other people who worked there. She had like these blue
Speaker 4: glitter strands in her hair and I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: it's that and my hairdresser, l our hairdresser, was like, oh,
Speaker 4: we do that. You know, they bond in like little
Speaker 4: hair mini hair extensions and we've got them in all colors,
Speaker 4: and I was like, tell me more. So she put
Speaker 4: them in my hair and I just didn't think about it,
Speaker 4: had them in for six weeks, loved it over Christmas,
Speaker 4: you know, until I next went back to the hairdress
Speaker 4: to get my roots done. But it's hard to get
Speaker 4: them out, and getting them in is a bit annoying too,
Speaker 4: and you know.
Speaker 5: Tied onto your actual strands of hair, they're like.
Speaker 4: Clamped with these little metal clamps, so you can't take
Speaker 4: them all proper ol. Right. Yeah, So I got them
Speaker 4: out a couple of weeks ago because they were starting
Speaker 4: to a little bit matted.
Speaker 1: I was like, I want some more, but I didn't
Speaker 1: have time because I get so bored at the hairdresser.
Speaker 1: So what I did was I went and looked. Jesse's
Speaker 1: so riveted by this, She's.
Speaker 4: Trying to wawn, and I got little clip on ones
Speaker 4: in all different colors.
Speaker 2: So Maya's holding up. It's like it looks like tensil.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like those little clips.
Speaker 4: I think they're weig clips, and it's got little strands,
Speaker 4: individual strands. They look like hair, but they're like tillery. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and you can get them in anything.
Speaker 2: It reminds me of I used to have hair put
Speaker 2: hair feathers in. Do you ever wear hair feathers? I
Speaker 2: don't think, maybe fifteen years ago.
Speaker 1: I also wore like a blue Street.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, or I could plait like that was colored
Speaker 3: or whatever.
Speaker 2: I think it's kind of fun.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so your joy, oh my god, so much joy.
Speaker 4: Now I've just got another. Remember when I had my
Speaker 4: shoe char my shoe jawl.
Speaker 5: At least this one doesn't make any noise.
Speaker 4: This isn't an audio hazard, so yeah, I will put
Speaker 4: a link in the show notes to where to get that.
Speaker 5: Jesse, what do you have?
Speaker 3: I have a book that I actually read months ago
Speaker 3: and I was desperate to recommend, but it was an
Speaker 3: advance copy site to wait and wait and wait. And
Speaker 3: I've been on such a role lately with incredible books,
Speaker 3: but this one stuck with me. Is called On the
Speaker 3: Edge by Kate Horn, who is an Australian author, and
Speaker 3: the premise is that Nell's dad. The main character is Nell.
Speaker 3: Her dad has died and she needs to go and
Speaker 3: just like run his GP practice before they sell it, right,
Speaker 3: And so she returns to the small coastal town where
Speaker 3: she grew up. But you get this sense that she
Speaker 3: left in this kind of like shameful. She was almost
Speaker 3: run out of the town doctor us something. Yes she's
Speaker 3: a doctor too. There's this weird vibe between her and
Speaker 3: everyone in the town. They think she did something awful
Speaker 3: and you discover that something happened to her when she
Speaker 3: was a teenager and she thinks that the truth kind
Speaker 3: of never came out, and so it's this kind of
Speaker 3: twisty mystery suspenseful.
Speaker 2: I picked it up.
Speaker 3: I give books, honestly, I'm so bad, but I give
Speaker 3: them my five.
Speaker 2: Pages now to get me in. And this totally got
Speaker 2: me in. Was brilliant.
Speaker 1: It's like a mystery.
Speaker 3: It's a mystery and it's like a Sally hepworth Lea Moriarty,
Speaker 3: Jane Harper, Like it is absolutely that caliber.
Speaker 2: It is called on the Edge.
Speaker 3: And I love Australian coastal towns, like I love that vibe.
Speaker 2: It is just so readable. Love it, love it, love it.
Speaker 2: On the edge. That is all we have time for.
Speaker 3: You're doing the outro, it is I'm doing the outro.
Speaker 3: I don't know how Holly does it so seamlessly, because
Speaker 3: it's like it's not all we have time for, Like
Speaker 3: no one's really wrapping us.
Speaker 2: But I guess like we're done.
Speaker 4: Ye yeah, it's not another elimited amount of time, no
Speaker 4: run out exactly.
Speaker 5: But we do matter. We do.
Speaker 2: We do really matter.
Speaker 3: Speaking of people who matter, our team, team, they matter
Speaker 3: so much.
Speaker 5: Em a big thank you to our whole team. Our
Speaker 5: group executive producer Root Divine, our executive producer Sasha Tanic,
Speaker 5: our senior audio producer is Leah porge'es, our video producer
Speaker 5: is Josh Green, and our junior content producer is Tessa Kodovich.
Speaker 4: Bye oh bye bye, and I'm on the subzeps. This
Speaker 4: week if you're listen, I'm not competitive, but I'm trying
Speaker 4: to beat these people.
Speaker 3: MOA Mayor acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on
Speaker 3: which we have recorded this podcast.