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Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mom with mea podcast.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Mummy out Loud.

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Speaker 3: What women are actually talking about on Friday, the sixth

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Speaker 3: of February.

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Speaker 2: I am Jesse Stevens, I'm am Vern m.

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Speaker 4: And I'm backbitches, but just for today, just I'm Mayor

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Speaker 4: Friedman and I've got a new show and it launched

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Speaker 4: this week. So I thought I would lock holy in

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Speaker 4: a cupboard and come and tell you about it.

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Speaker 5: Smile idea.

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Speaker 3: Here's what's on our agenda for today, A crisis of Mattering.

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Speaker 3: There is a new book out that I think will

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Speaker 3: be as influential as Mel Robbins's Let Them Theory, and

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Speaker 3: it will change how you think about your life.

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Speaker 5: Plus good news, Valentine's Day is actually not the saddest

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Speaker 5: day for single people. Bad news, there's a day that's

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Speaker 5: much much worse.

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Speaker 4: And there's recos because it's Friday. And spoiler alert, I'm

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Speaker 4: going to tell you about my hair tintl.

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Speaker 2: Of course you are the sixth I've got your life.

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Speaker 5: We'll love it.

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Speaker 1: I've got an update on my hair tin so you're

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Speaker 1: gonna be happy.

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Speaker 3: But first, may go on tell us about your new show,

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Speaker 3: your new projects.

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Speaker 1: I'm in my producer era, So who brought you that?

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Speaker 5: How did you get that?

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Speaker 4: I got this hat made out louder, says producer, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, I need to buy a.

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Speaker 3: Thing past me in the office with that on. And

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Speaker 3: I muttered to no one all the gear and no idea,

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Speaker 3: like yes, that's how I felt, because I think you

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Speaker 3: were also wearing dark clothes.

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Speaker 5: Wearing this black app Okay, I'm not joking. This was

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Speaker 5: my favorite outfit on you. It was like a charcoal

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Speaker 5: T shirt, like dark charcoal jeans and then your little

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Speaker 5: pink added ass.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was my one little gi I love that

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Speaker 1: to my son.

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Speaker 5: I think she wear that more often.

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Speaker 4: Out louders I ignored, is like, absolutely nice, both of

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Speaker 4: you shut up.

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Speaker 1: I launched a show this week.

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Speaker 4: It's something that I've been working on for about a

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Speaker 4: year on and off, and it's a show for women

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Speaker 4: kind of over forty. Although younger people have been listening

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Speaker 4: and laughing a lot. It for women over forty who

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Speaker 4: want to laugh right now because it's a lot out

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Speaker 4: there right in our lives and in the world.

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Speaker 3: And why aren't you hosting it?

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Speaker 2: You've hosted a podcast or two in your time.

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Speaker 4: I have, and also I work for free because it's

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Speaker 4: my business. But last year I moved away from the mic.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to have a bit of a different life

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Speaker 4: and I don't want to be like out Loud is

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Speaker 4: the show that I'm on and the show that I

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Speaker 4: want to be on right with my girls.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to.

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Speaker 4: Try something different, and at first I sort of put

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Speaker 4: myself in there when we were looking for the right

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Speaker 4: cast and what the show should be. I put myself

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Speaker 4: in there as a bit of a placeholder because I

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Speaker 4: thought I can can sort of control it from the inside,

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Speaker 4: because I had such a vision in my mind of

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Speaker 4: what I wanted to be. But then you know what happened.

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Speaker 4: I tried to turn it into out Loud.

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Speaker 1: You're coming for us.

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Speaker 2: I don't mean to brag, but the format works.

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Speaker 1: But it was Timu out Loud for older people, and.

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Speaker 3: It was just the I just respect for the host.

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Speaker 3: You are not TEAMO out Loud.

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Speaker 1: Well, I realized a couple of things. You guys are

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Speaker 1: quite good at what you do.

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Speaker 2: We've been trying to tell you that, and I didn't.

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Speaker 1: Realize that until I got on the couch with people

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Speaker 1: who were new to podcasting.

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Speaker 3: You've managed to offend us and the entire team Sentence.

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Speaker 1: Watch were trying to.

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Speaker 4: Out of this hole that I've just dug, And what

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Speaker 4: I realized is that, you know, it's funny. I remember

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Speaker 4: working in magazines and a competitor was launching and we

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Speaker 4: were like, what are they going to do? And my

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Speaker 4: boss at the time said to me, if you ever

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Speaker 4: want to know what someone's going to do, you just

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Speaker 4: look at what they've done before, because people mostly just

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Speaker 4: recreate what they've done before, right, Actually it works, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 4: if it works. And I always remembered that, and then

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Speaker 4: without even realizing it, that's what I tried to do

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Speaker 4: with Unleashed, except I tried to do it with people

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Speaker 4: who are incredibly talented and amazing in their field, like

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Speaker 4: big guns in their world, but are all new to podcasting.

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Speaker 4: Pretty much all of them are pretty new to podcasting

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Speaker 4: and new to each other.

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Speaker 1: They didn't know each other.

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Speaker 4: Whereas we've built chemistry and this muscle by doing it

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Speaker 4: five days a week for so many years all together.

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Speaker 3: But we do a very specific thing, and the people

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Speaker 3: that you chose are funny and experienced and experts in

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Speaker 3: their field and have incredible storytellers. So it's like you

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Speaker 3: had to lean into the skill set that they had

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Speaker 3: rather than trying.

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Speaker 4: Exactly while not also cannibalizing the show that I'm on

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Speaker 4: and love with you guys, because that's just not smart

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Speaker 4: business and it's too much for the audience to listen to.

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Speaker 1: So what it is is different. You're going to learn

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Speaker 1: nothing on this show.

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Speaker 4: If you want to know what's going on the world

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Speaker 4: going into pop culture, you're not going to find out

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Speaker 4: by listening to this show. But if you need to

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Speaker 4: just laugh and just listen to women your own age

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Speaker 4: talking about, you know, whether it's a pop culture reference

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Speaker 4: like Adamant or not Happy jan But you don't see

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Speaker 4: You're not happy Janny. Do you know? Adamant is no

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Speaker 4: even less so okay, so exactly, And sometimes it's just

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Speaker 4: nice to be with people your own age, and I

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Speaker 4: think particularly when you get to a certain age.

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Speaker 1: And the women on the show are all.

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Speaker 4: Over fifty except for Sally Hepworth, who is forty five.

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Speaker 4: There's Mary Custas, Brunda Pap Andrea all friends of the show.

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Speaker 4: They're all out loud listeners, Doctor Jenny Mansburg, Grace.

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Speaker 2: Lambs, Grace slam is a twin.

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Speaker 4: Too, Katherine mahoney. Yes, we've had a great chut and

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Speaker 4: she's nuts in the best way there in the best

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Speaker 4: way anyways.

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Speaker 1: So it launches.

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Speaker 2: Is it once a week?

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Speaker 1: It's once a week on Tuesdays?

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Speaker 4: Okay, can't cut out louds grass, it's not an instead

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Speaker 4: of it's an as well as and it's just.

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Speaker 1: A very different and it guess.

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Speaker 5: For all jams like this episode this week about not showering.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, yes, I've been telling that to everyone. Stop showering.

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Speaker 1: How many times do you guys shower.

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Speaker 5: Once every second day?

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Speaker 1: Oh dear god, what about you?

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Speaker 2: At least twice a day.

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Speaker 4: I love a good show twice a day to you

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Speaker 4: like the climate and the moment.

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Speaker 2: Wow, and they're not long showers.

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Speaker 4: A confession by someone on the pod this week who's

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Speaker 4: quite notorious for not showering.

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Speaker 5: And I feel so much better almost ever.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, we'll put a link in our show notes. We'd

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Speaker 4: love to have you listen and love to know what

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Speaker 4: you think.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Super proud.

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Speaker 2: A woman named Jennifer B. Wallace. She's a journalist and

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Speaker 2: an author.

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Speaker 3: She says that everyone you meet is walking around with

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Speaker 3: an invisible sign hanging off their neck, and that invisible

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Speaker 3: sign reads tell me do I Matter? And it is sad,

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Speaker 3: but it's also so true. That's the subject of her

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Speaker 3: brand new book called Mattering, The Secret to a Life

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Speaker 3: of Deep Connection and Purpose. And interestingly, The New York

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Speaker 3: Times pointed out that there are a number of books

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Speaker 3: on mattering that have suddenly come out, so it feels

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Speaker 3: like it's going to be a word that really defines

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 4: Because purpose is a bit exhausting, Like when everyone's talking

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Speaker 4: about purpose, you feel like, oh god, I've got to

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Speaker 4: find a purpose as well as getting a perhaps meeting,

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Speaker 4: you know what.

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Speaker 3: I also feel like purpose has somehow been le to

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Speaker 3: making money, like a purpose has also been like find

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Speaker 3: your purpose and then make it into a business, whereas

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Speaker 3: mattering is like, I feel like a completely different thing.

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Speaker 2: And so the more I've.

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Speaker 3: Read about this book, at first, I was like mattering, like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: everyone wants to matter. Fine, But the more I've read,

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Speaker 3: the more I've gone, oh, Okay, this is a really

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Speaker 3: important cultural moment. Mattering to who, Well, that's the thing, right,

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Speaker 3: It's about mattering to others. And she says that we're

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Speaker 3: obsessed with self care, and we think laying in the

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Speaker 3: bath or you know, reading a book or whatever is

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Speaker 3: going to be the thing that rehabilitates us. But in fact,

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Speaker 3: the best self care is all about relationships, and so

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Speaker 3: it's about mattering to others, but also mattering to yourself.

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Speaker 3: And she kind of gets to that, but she says

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Speaker 3: that we're in a crisis of mattering. So we have

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Speaker 3: this sense that we are not valued or our actions

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Speaker 3: don't matter, and that leads to depression, anxiety, addiction, all

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Speaker 3: of the things that we see work, dissatisfaction.

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Speaker 2: And loneliness.

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Speaker 3: And she says that the question of whether or not

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Speaker 3: you matter is the most fundamental human question.

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Speaker 2: We ask it our whole lives. It's what separates us

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Speaker 2: from animals.

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Speaker 3: Mattering, she says, isn't like a trophy we collect at

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Speaker 3: twenty five and put on a shelf and go, I've

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Speaker 3: achieved it.

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Speaker 2: I matter.

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Speaker 3: It is always in transition. So whether it's retirement and

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Speaker 3: empty nest, a loss of a job, grieving someone you're

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Speaker 3: really close to, moving house somewhere, you can totally undo

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Speaker 3: our sense of mattering, and then we have to rebuild

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Speaker 3: it again. And she's got some really good strategies for

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Speaker 3: like where to find it if you feel like you've

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Speaker 3: lost it.

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Speaker 4: Breakups as well, I think, yeah, maybe a real because

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Speaker 4: it was like I mattered to you, and if someone

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Speaker 4: breaks up with you, you're like, well you just said that,

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Speaker 4: I actually don't.

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Speaker 2: And I vote, do I matter at all?

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Speaker 1: And I won't ongoing? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: And if I don't matter to the person who matters

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Speaker 4: the most to me, where does that leave me?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And so that's why it's like this real crisis. Mia.

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Speaker 3: Does this ring true to you, this idea of there

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Speaker 3: are different stages in your life where you're confronted with

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Speaker 3: like a crisis of mattering.

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Speaker 4: I think this is so true and profound. I've been

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Speaker 4: thinking about this so much since you said you wanted

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Speaker 4: to talk about it today. And the reason it's so

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Speaker 4: primal is because where essentially primal tribal beings, and in

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Speaker 4: ye olden times, being of value within your tribe is

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Speaker 4: the only way you could survive if you were overlooked

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Speaker 4: in your tribe, if you didn't matter to anyone, if

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Speaker 4: you're invisible, no one was going to protect you, no

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Speaker 4: one was going to feed you. You had to show

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Speaker 4: your value, right, So our sense of self worth as

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Speaker 4: individuals is about and everyone's like, you've just got to

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Speaker 4: be good with yourself and you've just got to matter

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Speaker 4: to yourself. And it's like, nah, Like it would be

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Speaker 4: nice if that was true, but we are hardwired to

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Speaker 4: need to matter to other people around us for our

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Speaker 4: own survival. So that's why I think when you go

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Speaker 4: through big transitions in your life, like this age for

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Speaker 4: a lot of women, you know, being in perimenopause and

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Speaker 4: then menopause and in a culture that worships youth, and

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Speaker 4: that was part of Unleashed, it's that feeling of hang on.

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Speaker 4: The society is telling me I don't matter. My kids

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Speaker 4: have grown up. They don't need If I have kids,

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Speaker 4: they don't need me. I don't matter to my kids.

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Speaker 4: Like even when your kids are getting a bit older

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Speaker 4: and they go from primary school to high school, I

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Speaker 4: remember the Principles saying to us on induction day, you're

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Speaker 4: going from being a manager to being a consultant to

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Speaker 4: your child, you don't matter as much as you did before.

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Speaker 4: And around job and employment, that's why working is such

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Speaker 4: a fundamental human need because it's like I'm doing something

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Speaker 4: people rely on me. I have not a purpose, maybe

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Speaker 4: a universe versal purpose.

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Speaker 2: But I can see the impact of my action.

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Speaker 1: Yes it matters, Yeah what I do.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think what you said in the beginning, Jesse,

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Speaker 5: about how this could be as big as mel robins

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Speaker 5: let them. I think this is a direct response to

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Speaker 5: if you let them too much, and then you're constantly

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Speaker 5: going let them, let them, they're going to break up

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Speaker 5: with me, let them, they're moving out. Let them, and

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Speaker 5: then suddenly you're by yourself because you've let them all

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Speaker 5: just go.

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Speaker 1: That's very smart. So like nothing matters, let them, nothing matters.

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Speaker 5: And they were like, oh my god, nothing matters. Everyone,

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Speaker 5: please like not something matter.

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Speaker 1: Stick to let them.

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Speaker 3: And that's what Wallace actually says is that this like lol,

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Speaker 3: I don't care, loll apathy, Lol, this is all cringe

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Speaker 3: vibe that we're culturally in has kind of given way

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Speaker 3: to this crisis of mattering, as she calls it. I

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Speaker 3: really like what she says about asking other people for help,

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Speaker 3: and she calls it extending a sense of mattering.

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Speaker 2: So it was like, oh, that's why I ask my.

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Speaker 3: Dadd to come over and fix my door, because my

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Speaker 3: dad has to like, yes, you have to do erectly,

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Speaker 3: and that's my dad like, and you can feel such

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Speaker 3: guilt asking anyone for anything, but we're actually doing each

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Speaker 3: other favors all the time by giving each other purpose.

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Speaker 3: And she talks about there are people who look around

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Speaker 3: and go, who do I matter to? And why do

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Speaker 3: I matter? But then there's this other crisis of mattering

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Speaker 3: too much, And there will be some people who go, like,

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Speaker 3: if something happened to me, my world would crumble because

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Speaker 3: I care for my aging parents, I care for my children,

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Speaker 3: I care for my husband, I care for my blood

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Speaker 3: like they almost matter too much. The reason why you

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Speaker 3: can still feel quite empty from that is because a

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Speaker 3: lot of those people, a lot of those tasks are thankless,

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Speaker 3: so the mattering. Often with aging parents, you don't get

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Speaker 3: the back.

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Speaker 4: And about to be even thicker, do you sometimes feel?

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Speaker 4: I remember thinking I just need ten minutes when nobody's

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Speaker 4: touching mummy or talking to mummy, including.

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Speaker 1: Daddy, there's an end to you, and I feel.

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Speaker 4: Like I am just too intrinsic to everybody's well being

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Speaker 4: matter too much.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted that, but then I thought about my

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Speaker 3: mental health since Luna, and this is not everyone's experience,

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Speaker 3: but I wonder if it's actually been the antidote to

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Speaker 3: a feeling of not mattering. So I think when I've

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Speaker 3: had kind of these moments in my life where I've

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Speaker 3: looked around and gone purpose meaning blah blah blah, and

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Speaker 3: I've been kind of confused, it's been a difficult question

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Speaker 3: to answer. But there is something a lot of people say,

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Speaker 3: just parenting make you happier. They want to know, like,

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Speaker 3: you know, is motherhood the key to happiness or whatever?

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Speaker 3: And a lot of parents are kind of like, ah,

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Speaker 3: I don't really know how to answer that, And I

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Speaker 3: was like.

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Speaker 2: This is what it is. It makes me feel like

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Speaker 2: I matter.

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Speaker 1: Like do you know what else makes you feel like that?

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Speaker 1: A pet? Dogs?

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Speaker 4: And there's a saying about if you've got teenagers in

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Speaker 4: the house, you want someone to be happy to see

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Speaker 4: you when you get home.

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Speaker 1: Get a dog, and it's true, like I matter so

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Speaker 1: much and that dog.

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Speaker 3: I was reading this kind of theory about how there

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Speaker 3: are different transitions in life. There are what they call

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Speaker 3: anticipated events, so for.

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Speaker 2: Example, I've got baby babies.

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Speaker 3: There are unanticipated events you lose someone suddenly, and then

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Speaker 3: there are non events.

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Speaker 2: And I thought this one was so interesting.

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Speaker 3: It's the pregnancy that never happened, it's the promotion you

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Speaker 3: never got, it's the and it's said that all of

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Speaker 3: those thrust upon you a sense of like I need

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Speaker 3: to face again why I matter?

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Speaker 5: It's actually quite scary, and it's so hard I guess

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Speaker 5: to voice that because it becomes kind of well with me,

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Speaker 5: like you just need someone to sit with you and

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Speaker 5: be like, you'll get the next one or be fine.

325
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Speaker 5: But that period of time can go on forever, even

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Speaker 5: though it's happening initially to you for those two seconds.

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Speaker 4: Do you mean that's because it's a version of yourself

328
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Speaker 4: that never gets realized.

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Speaker 3: That you anticipated and that you expected. So I think

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Speaker 3: I've listened to women. So for example, Elizabeth Day has

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Speaker 3: talked about how she really wanted children and she had

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Speaker 3: these issues with fertility and her all her focus on

333
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Speaker 3: mattering was in her position as a mother, which did

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Speaker 3: not happen for her, and it was like, in order

335
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Speaker 3: to recover, she had to go how do I matter?

336
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Speaker 2: Elsewhere?

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Speaker 3: And she managed to shift that and is now completely

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Speaker 3: happy and at peace with the decision. But there was

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Speaker 3: always going to be that moment of like this thing

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Speaker 3: hasn't happened.

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Speaker 2: I thought I was sort of promised.

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Speaker 1: Did you ever read men are from Mars, Women Are

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Speaker 1: from Venus?

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Speaker 2: I didn't know.

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Speaker 4: It was fine author called John Gray. It was really

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Speaker 4: big in the sort of the eighties and nineties. There's

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Speaker 4: some really you know, some people don't like it, but

348
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Speaker 4: I actually found it so interesting. It's of course some

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Speaker 4: generalizations about gender. Certainly a lot of them rang true

350
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Speaker 4: for me. But one of them is about men. Men

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Speaker 4: need to feel needed, women need to feel heard, and

352
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Speaker 4: they're different. So often men will be where they struggle

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Speaker 4: most with the women in their lives is is she's

354
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Speaker 4: like this, and this is happening, and that's happening, and

355
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Speaker 4: he's like, how can I fix it? Because that's where

356
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Speaker 4: his value to the tribe. He's hardwired to believe that

357
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Speaker 4: being of value to the tribe is of.

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Speaker 2: In order for him to matter, and needs to solve.

359
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Speaker 4: Correct And the problem is this is getting sort of big.

360
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Speaker 4: But since women's liberation and feminism, where we are encouraged

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Speaker 4: quite rightly to not depend on a man and to

362
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Speaker 4: be able to do things for ourselves, their sense of

363
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Speaker 4: purpose and mattering has become a little bit confused.

364
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Speaker 3: So that brings me to something I couldn't stop thinking

365
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Speaker 3: about in all of this, which is the disillusionment of

366
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Speaker 3: young men and the danger of that. It's like when

367
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Speaker 3: you feel like you don't matter, and this is like

368
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Speaker 3: Scott Galloway has talked about it for young disenfranchised men,

369
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Speaker 3: that's really dangerous. There can be a lash out. There

370
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Speaker 3: can be like whether it's violence, whether it's addiction, whether

371
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Speaker 3: it's it's like you end up finding something and that

372
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Speaker 3: can be corrosive, or that can be like whatever it is,

373
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Speaker 3: you try and fill that void.

374
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Speaker 2: Women are often more.

375
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Speaker 3: Likely to take it out on themselves, Yeah, and to

376
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Speaker 3: internalize it a.

377
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Speaker 2: Little bit more.

378
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Speaker 3: But it's like it becomes a social issue if you

379
00:17:28,834 --> 00:17:30,474
Speaker 3: have a whole community of people who feel like they

380
00:17:30,474 --> 00:17:33,714
Speaker 3: don't matter, whether it's unemployment or whether it's they can't

381
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Speaker 3: build significant relationships, and that society essentially collapse.

382
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Speaker 5: It But then is it also us telling ourselves that

383
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Speaker 5: we matter and then also telling men that they matter?

384
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Speaker 2: Yeah, do we have to tell them that? That's a coin?

385
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Speaker 4: In countries where there's compulsory military service, that's really interesting too,

386
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Speaker 4: because the time after you leave school and your life

387
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Speaker 4: is fairly well regimented, you can suddenly get a little bit.

388
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Speaker 1: Lost after that.

389
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Speaker 4: I mean, if you don't really know what you want

390
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,834
Speaker 4: to do after school, if you don't want to do

391
00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:06,674
Speaker 4: a particular thing or study a particular course, you can

392
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Speaker 4: feel about like how do I matter? Because no one

393
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,434
Speaker 4: cares if I'm at school or not, like all of

394
00:18:11,474 --> 00:18:12,914
Speaker 4: the stuff that you actually.

395
00:18:12,914 --> 00:18:13,954
Speaker 2: Again and you're invisible.

396
00:18:14,034 --> 00:18:16,274
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're invisible, and so it's like I don't matter,

397
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Speaker 4: and I think that's one of the reasons that I

398
00:18:17,794 --> 00:18:18,914
Speaker 4: dropped out of UNI.

399
00:18:19,154 --> 00:18:22,674
Speaker 3: Apparently if you feel like you're having a crisis of this.

400
00:18:22,754 --> 00:18:25,553
Speaker 3: There's an acronym that she uses and it's said, so

401
00:18:25,594 --> 00:18:28,634
Speaker 3: the first is significant. You have to feel significant, whether

402
00:18:28,634 --> 00:18:32,313
Speaker 3: that's like seen essential. You have to feel appreciated. So

403
00:18:32,394 --> 00:18:35,074
Speaker 3: that's the thing of the person who's looking after elderly parents.

404
00:18:35,594 --> 00:18:39,194
Speaker 3: You probably don't feel appreciated because maybe it can't be expressed.

405
00:18:39,314 --> 00:18:42,553
Speaker 1: Do you think that's why women like weddings? Yeah, the

406
00:18:42,634 --> 00:18:43,074
Speaker 1: idea of.

407
00:18:43,074 --> 00:18:46,514
Speaker 4: Them because it tells everybody that you matter, Like, guess

408
00:18:46,594 --> 00:18:48,874
Speaker 4: what I am inviting two hundred people?

409
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Speaker 1: So true matter and watch celebrity how much I matter?

410
00:18:52,514 --> 00:18:56,513
Speaker 3: The I is for invested in, So you want to

411
00:18:56,554 --> 00:18:59,714
Speaker 3: feel supported and cared for, invested in. I thought was

412
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Speaker 3: a really interesting one because the other week I had

413
00:19:03,274 --> 00:19:07,114
Speaker 3: a terrible week stuff with pregnancy, and I reached out

414
00:19:07,234 --> 00:19:09,273
Speaker 3: to a few friends and I told them what had

415
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:12,114
Speaker 3: happened and kept them updated. Every single one of those

416
00:19:12,154 --> 00:19:15,074
Speaker 3: friends followed up a few days later, and so just

417
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,314
Speaker 3: out of nowhere, two o'clock on a Thursday, and said, Hey,

418
00:19:17,394 --> 00:19:18,754
Speaker 3: just thinking about you and how you're going.

419
00:19:19,754 --> 00:19:21,394
Speaker 2: I felt like I madded so much.

420
00:19:21,514 --> 00:19:23,273
Speaker 3: I was like, that is such a good reminder to

421
00:19:23,314 --> 00:19:25,474
Speaker 3: always follow up if someone drops something on.

422
00:19:25,354 --> 00:19:28,554
Speaker 2: You and you move on with your life, just the follow.

423
00:19:28,314 --> 00:19:29,033
Speaker 1: Up, really, you know.

424
00:19:29,114 --> 00:19:32,954
Speaker 4: And I felt that is when I finally spoke out

425
00:19:32,994 --> 00:19:35,793
Speaker 4: about why I left the show, and I'd lost my

426
00:19:35,834 --> 00:19:38,513
Speaker 4: confidence and I was like, I'm not coming back.

427
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:39,354
Speaker 1: No one misses me.

428
00:19:39,354 --> 00:19:41,313
Speaker 4: And I didn't do it in a woe is me

429
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,793
Speaker 4: or in a thirsty no one misses me?

430
00:19:45,034 --> 00:19:46,674
Speaker 1: Do you miss me? Like it wasn't that.

431
00:19:46,714 --> 00:19:50,474
Speaker 4: Like I genuinely thought, I don't matter anymore because if

432
00:19:50,474 --> 00:19:53,273
Speaker 4: the two years of being told getting the bin, you're evil,

433
00:19:53,834 --> 00:19:57,914
Speaker 4: you're you know, a genocidal murderer. And then when I

434
00:19:57,954 --> 00:19:59,954
Speaker 4: was honest about that, and then when I did come

435
00:20:00,034 --> 00:20:02,514
Speaker 4: back and out loud As was so incredible.

436
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:08,234
Speaker 1: That's how I felt. I felt, oh, held up by it.

437
00:20:07,594 --> 00:20:12,234
Speaker 4: And it was really humbling, and it was like plugging

438
00:20:12,274 --> 00:20:14,994
Speaker 4: yourself into a charger, feeling that you matter.

439
00:20:15,234 --> 00:20:18,114
Speaker 3: Yeah, you like you're You don't find that an isolation.

440
00:20:18,354 --> 00:20:20,994
Speaker 3: I don't think the d on this as well is

441
00:20:21,234 --> 00:20:23,514
Speaker 3: depended upon So this is why it can be such

442
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:26,114
Speaker 3: a gift to ask people felt to say. You know,

443
00:20:26,154 --> 00:20:28,594
Speaker 3: I've had friends ask if they can do particular things

444
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:29,754
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I don't want to burden them.

445
00:20:29,754 --> 00:20:31,994
Speaker 2: They're busy or whatever. It's like could probably make their day.

446
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,554
Speaker 5: Ask me your dad to fix your door?

447
00:20:33,954 --> 00:20:36,874
Speaker 4: Why don't you ask me to do anything genuine questions

448
00:20:36,914 --> 00:20:38,313
Speaker 4: you never do drives me crazy.

449
00:20:38,394 --> 00:20:39,794
Speaker 2: That's because you're already doing it.

450
00:20:39,914 --> 00:20:41,834
Speaker 1: So am I robbing you of the chance?

451
00:20:42,754 --> 00:20:44,274
Speaker 2: No, I'm quite happy with the arrangement.

452
00:20:48,274 --> 00:20:48,874
Speaker 1: Out loud As.

453
00:20:48,954 --> 00:20:51,874
Speaker 5: In a moment, there is something very sinister that is

454
00:20:51,914 --> 00:21:02,634
Speaker 5: happening to bathrooms in hotels. We have to get into it.

455
00:21:02,674 --> 00:21:05,033
Speaker 5: Out loud As. We have a listener dilemma and we

456
00:21:05,114 --> 00:21:07,834
Speaker 5: need your collective wisdom to help us and our partner's

457
00:21:07,874 --> 00:21:10,793
Speaker 5: Yui solve it. So here's a problem from our listener,

458
00:21:11,594 --> 00:21:14,553
Speaker 5: I've always loved fashion for me. Clothes are how I

459
00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:15,554
Speaker 5: express myself.

460
00:21:15,794 --> 00:21:15,834
Speaker 4: Me.

461
00:21:15,994 --> 00:21:17,754
Speaker 5: You didn't have to write in It's fine.

462
00:21:18,234 --> 00:21:20,074
Speaker 2: We all know that's how you express yourself.

463
00:21:20,394 --> 00:21:22,794
Speaker 1: I don't know if I feel understod or attacked. Keep going.

464
00:21:23,154 --> 00:21:25,834
Speaker 5: I like spending time to find unique pieces that feel

465
00:21:25,914 --> 00:21:29,434
Speaker 5: like me. Yeah, we know. My friend Sarah has always

466
00:21:29,434 --> 00:21:31,674
Speaker 5: been more of a jeans and a tea person, but

467
00:21:31,794 --> 00:21:33,874
Speaker 5: lately things have taken a weird turn.

468
00:21:33,994 --> 00:21:36,514
Speaker 2: So she pitching about Holly, Well, I have to point

469
00:21:36,514 --> 00:21:37,154
Speaker 2: out how loud as.

470
00:21:37,114 --> 00:21:37,954
Speaker 1: If you're watching this on.

471
00:21:37,994 --> 00:21:40,674
Speaker 5: YouTube, just and miror wearing the exact same outfit.

472
00:21:40,914 --> 00:21:42,834
Speaker 2: Here, we are exactly.

473
00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:43,554
Speaker 5: It keeps going down.

474
00:21:43,674 --> 00:21:43,914
Speaker 2: Okay.

475
00:21:44,274 --> 00:21:46,994
Speaker 5: It started small. I'd buy a specific pair of boots

476
00:21:47,034 --> 00:21:48,874
Speaker 5: and a week later she'd show up in the exact

477
00:21:48,914 --> 00:21:51,914
Speaker 5: same ones. I told myself it was a coincidence. Then

478
00:21:52,274 --> 00:21:55,313
Speaker 5: I wore a very specific silk scarf to brunch and

479
00:21:55,354 --> 00:21:58,394
Speaker 5: three days later she posted a selfie in the same scarf.

480
00:21:58,994 --> 00:22:02,234
Speaker 5: Last week was the breaking point. I bought a design

481
00:22:02,234 --> 00:22:04,714
Speaker 5: address for a mutual friend's wedding, which was a big

482
00:22:04,754 --> 00:22:07,034
Speaker 5: splurge for me, and I showed her a photo of it.

483
00:22:07,434 --> 00:22:10,994
Speaker 5: Guess what arrived? At her house yesterday the exact same dress.

484
00:22:11,394 --> 00:22:13,273
Speaker 5: When I called her out on it, she just laughed

485
00:22:13,314 --> 00:22:15,674
Speaker 5: and said, you just have such great taste. I couldn't

486
00:22:15,674 --> 00:22:18,754
Speaker 5: help myself. We can be twins. I feel like we're

487
00:22:18,794 --> 00:22:20,954
Speaker 5: back in high school. But I'm thirty four and when

488
00:22:20,994 --> 00:22:23,914
Speaker 5: we go out together, it's getting embarrassing. It feels a

489
00:22:23,914 --> 00:22:26,354
Speaker 5: bit like my identity and my style is being stolen

490
00:22:26,434 --> 00:22:28,834
Speaker 5: piece by piece. How can I tell her to stop

491
00:22:28,874 --> 00:22:32,554
Speaker 5: copying me without ruining our friendship? The question is, what

492
00:22:32,594 --> 00:22:33,714
Speaker 5: do you do next?

493
00:22:34,274 --> 00:22:35,994
Speaker 1: Jesse stop coughing me?

494
00:22:36,394 --> 00:22:39,754
Speaker 4: The problem is and we didn't know what this was

495
00:22:39,794 --> 00:22:41,514
Speaker 4: going to be on the show today, and we didn't

496
00:22:41,554 --> 00:22:46,074
Speaker 4: certainly didn't call. But Jesse's actually wearing my shirt. That's

497
00:22:46,114 --> 00:22:46,874
Speaker 4: also my shirt.

498
00:22:46,994 --> 00:22:49,954
Speaker 2: These are also your pants, Yeah.

499
00:22:49,154 --> 00:22:52,114
Speaker 1: So which is kind of different. Give them. It's my

500
00:22:52,194 --> 00:22:53,474
Speaker 1: dream that if it were dressed like me.

501
00:22:53,514 --> 00:22:56,234
Speaker 4: Guys, it's my fucking dream out loud as We are

502
00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:58,354
Speaker 4: in the process of doing a new shoot for the

503
00:22:58,394 --> 00:23:03,273
Speaker 4: whole for the whole cast, and I'm in charge of styling, right,

504
00:23:03,514 --> 00:23:06,434
Speaker 4: I'm in charge of styling. Say who the stylists that

505
00:23:06,554 --> 00:23:09,154
Speaker 4: were used? Who's amazing. I think I might have given

506
00:23:09,194 --> 00:23:10,834
Speaker 4: her the wrong brief because when she came back and

507
00:23:10,834 --> 00:23:13,513
Speaker 4: did references for everybody, everyone was just dressed like me.

508
00:23:14,194 --> 00:23:16,834
Speaker 5: You were the photos in reference literally.

509
00:23:16,594 --> 00:23:19,594
Speaker 4: With my head cut off and put on M's page

510
00:23:19,634 --> 00:23:20,194
Speaker 4: and another one.

511
00:23:20,194 --> 00:23:21,594
Speaker 2: I just assumed, do you put that together?

512
00:23:21,714 --> 00:23:21,833
Speaker 4: No?

513
00:23:21,954 --> 00:23:22,394
Speaker 1: I didn't.

514
00:23:22,994 --> 00:23:25,793
Speaker 4: So anyway, I've now come in and at first I

515
00:23:25,914 --> 00:23:27,394
Speaker 4: was like, this is what I want, And then I'm like,

516
00:23:27,434 --> 00:23:29,554
Speaker 4: oh no, wait, and I had a really good idea.

517
00:23:29,554 --> 00:23:31,793
Speaker 4: I'm like, how about everybody dresses in the outfit they

518
00:23:31,794 --> 00:23:32,434
Speaker 4: feel best in.

519
00:23:32,554 --> 00:23:33,834
Speaker 2: I thought you hated when we did that.

520
00:23:33,994 --> 00:23:36,634
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do, but I'm trying to be mature. I'm

521
00:23:36,674 --> 00:23:39,154
Speaker 1: trying to grow. But back to this thing.

522
00:23:39,474 --> 00:23:40,914
Speaker 4: This has happened to me a lot in my career

523
00:23:40,914 --> 00:23:43,594
Speaker 4: because when women work together, I find in big groups

524
00:23:43,594 --> 00:23:46,674
Speaker 4: of women, which is what I've always done, they start

525
00:23:46,754 --> 00:23:49,634
Speaker 4: to like you start looking like your dogs. Your periods sink,

526
00:23:49,714 --> 00:23:52,033
Speaker 4: but all your wardrobe also can often sink.

527
00:23:52,234 --> 00:23:53,874
Speaker 3: I've done this year where I've gone may or what

528
00:23:53,914 --> 00:23:55,794
Speaker 3: shoes are we wearing at the moment, and then you'll

529
00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:58,074
Speaker 3: send me what shoes Like, I know I need a

530
00:23:58,074 --> 00:23:59,513
Speaker 3: pair of shoes. I don't have the mental load to

531
00:23:59,514 --> 00:24:00,154
Speaker 3: just see.

532
00:24:00,154 --> 00:24:00,714
Speaker 1: I love that.

533
00:24:00,954 --> 00:24:04,234
Speaker 4: I think this person, the anonymous sounds like she's gate

534
00:24:04,314 --> 00:24:06,313
Speaker 4: keeping a little bit, and I think you should flip it.

535
00:24:06,434 --> 00:24:10,594
Speaker 4: So I'm very evangelical about my style. I was in

536
00:24:10,634 --> 00:24:13,674
Speaker 4: an Unleashed record and people were commenting on my shoes

537
00:24:13,714 --> 00:24:16,874
Speaker 4: and I was like, I sent everybody the link immediately

538
00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:19,354
Speaker 4: in the group chat, and four of them bought my shoes,

539
00:24:19,394 --> 00:24:20,833
Speaker 4: and that made me really happy.

540
00:24:22,354 --> 00:24:24,194
Speaker 2: I kind of feel the same. I mean, I've never

541
00:24:24,194 --> 00:24:25,033
Speaker 2: had that again.

542
00:24:29,954 --> 00:24:31,513
Speaker 1: Jesse, you were are your shoes from? Oh wait? I

543
00:24:31,514 --> 00:24:34,234
Speaker 1: don't want them, never mind, I hate them.

544
00:24:34,674 --> 00:24:36,354
Speaker 2: I just make sure I never go to that shop.

545
00:24:38,474 --> 00:24:40,474
Speaker 4: Tell me so I can chuck out anything in my

546
00:24:40,514 --> 00:24:42,394
Speaker 4: wardrobe that looks like them.

547
00:24:42,434 --> 00:24:45,754
Speaker 3: Some people that really they like their individuality and their

548
00:24:45,834 --> 00:24:48,674
Speaker 3: uniqueness and having someone I've seen this become very awkward

549
00:24:48,754 --> 00:24:51,474
Speaker 3: in groups where it's like someone will have found some

550
00:24:51,514 --> 00:24:54,114
Speaker 3: shoes deep on the internet and someone goes and buys them,

551
00:24:54,114 --> 00:24:54,634
Speaker 3: and you're.

552
00:24:54,434 --> 00:24:57,514
Speaker 4: Like, good styles talking, you know, but you just got

553
00:24:57,554 --> 00:24:58,234
Speaker 4: to be honest about it.

554
00:24:58,274 --> 00:25:00,834
Speaker 1: You go, is it okay? Five styles talk you? What's

555
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:01,234
Speaker 1: the link?

556
00:25:01,434 --> 00:25:01,994
Speaker 2: What do you reckon?

557
00:25:02,154 --> 00:25:02,314
Speaker 4: D O?

558
00:25:02,674 --> 00:25:07,354
Speaker 5: I think just mah. I feel bad for Sarah, like

559
00:25:07,354 --> 00:25:11,594
Speaker 5: she's having such a good time, like she's enjoying it.

560
00:25:12,514 --> 00:25:15,874
Speaker 5: We can wear scarves to brush. Now this is she

561
00:25:15,994 --> 00:25:17,754
Speaker 5: was just in the jams and the tea and now

562
00:25:17,794 --> 00:25:22,074
Speaker 5: I'll just open this whole new world the time.

563
00:25:22,514 --> 00:25:25,834
Speaker 1: So don't we all want to twin so true?

564
00:25:26,674 --> 00:25:28,954
Speaker 3: Out louders, please let us know what you would do next.

565
00:25:29,034 --> 00:25:31,513
Speaker 3: Share your thoughts in the Mumma outloud Facebook group and

566
00:25:31,554 --> 00:25:33,754
Speaker 3: if you have a dilemma, send it to us at

567
00:25:33,754 --> 00:25:35,794
Speaker 3: out loud at mummeya dot com dot are you.

568
00:25:35,874 --> 00:25:37,434
Speaker 2: We would love to help.

569
00:25:38,714 --> 00:25:41,313
Speaker 3: Guys. The Washington Post deals with the real issues, and

570
00:25:41,354 --> 00:25:43,914
Speaker 3: I needed to put this on the agenda today because

571
00:25:43,954 --> 00:25:48,754
Speaker 3: apparently hotel guests are rioting about the fact that hotel

572
00:25:48,874 --> 00:25:52,114
Speaker 3: rooms they no longer seem to have bathroom doors.

573
00:25:52,674 --> 00:25:53,314
Speaker 1: I've noticed this.

574
00:25:53,834 --> 00:25:57,033
Speaker 3: People look, they're not literally rioting, but they're complaining. And

575
00:25:57,074 --> 00:25:59,194
Speaker 3: we all know that letters of complaint make people feel

576
00:25:59,194 --> 00:26:03,394
Speaker 3: like they matter, right, So that's really guests are pressed

577
00:26:03,394 --> 00:26:05,074
Speaker 3: because they're checking into a fancy hotel.

578
00:26:05,074 --> 00:26:06,833
Speaker 2: It's costs some four hundred bucks a night.

579
00:26:07,394 --> 00:26:11,674
Speaker 3: They turn up, there's a dividing wall, there's a curtain,

580
00:26:12,314 --> 00:26:16,474
Speaker 3: there's a see through thing where you can see the

581
00:26:16,514 --> 00:26:19,754
Speaker 3: person sitting on the toilet, yeah, yeah, people are having

582
00:26:19,794 --> 00:26:22,194
Speaker 3: none of it. There are TikTok accounts dedicated to bring

583
00:26:22,194 --> 00:26:25,354
Speaker 3: back the toilet door. There are people saying that now

584
00:26:25,874 --> 00:26:28,234
Speaker 3: going to a hotel is either you're going to move

585
00:26:28,274 --> 00:26:30,234
Speaker 3: your relationship forward or you're going to end it because

586
00:26:30,234 --> 00:26:31,314
Speaker 3: it's going to be quite confronting.

587
00:26:31,354 --> 00:26:34,314
Speaker 4: Look, when you're by yourself, it's fine, right, See, it's fine.

588
00:26:34,314 --> 00:26:36,594
Speaker 4: You don't need to close the door so you don't

589
00:26:36,594 --> 00:26:41,033
Speaker 4: see yourself. But just a few weeks ago, I was

590
00:26:41,234 --> 00:26:44,514
Speaker 4: in a hotel. I went down for a family thing

591
00:26:44,794 --> 00:26:47,394
Speaker 4: and I was sharing a hotel room with my husband

592
00:26:47,554 --> 00:26:51,994
Speaker 4: and my adult daughter, and the bathroom was glass, not

593
00:26:52,074 --> 00:26:54,234
Speaker 4: frosted glass, just glass.

594
00:26:54,394 --> 00:26:56,034
Speaker 5: Oh god, that's just not on.

595
00:26:56,394 --> 00:26:57,074
Speaker 2: It's not on.

596
00:26:57,274 --> 00:26:59,553
Speaker 3: I don't want to continue a conversation with someone that

597
00:26:59,634 --> 00:27:03,514
Speaker 3: I can see through the thing. It's like you can

598
00:27:03,554 --> 00:27:04,874
Speaker 3: see them, sit down.

599
00:27:04,914 --> 00:27:05,234
Speaker 4: You can.

600
00:27:05,474 --> 00:27:07,834
Speaker 5: I have a horror story. This was probably when I

601
00:27:07,834 --> 00:27:09,513
Speaker 5: was nineteen years old. I went on a holiday with

602
00:27:09,554 --> 00:27:12,394
Speaker 5: my dad to Hong Kong, sharing a hotel room. I

603
00:27:12,554 --> 00:27:14,994
Speaker 5: really had to go to the bathroom. I ate something dodgy,

604
00:27:15,194 --> 00:27:17,274
Speaker 5: it was bad. It was number two. And he was like, okay,

605
00:27:17,274 --> 00:27:18,674
Speaker 5: we'll get you to the hotel room, run to the

606
00:27:18,674 --> 00:27:21,793
Speaker 5: hotel room. Everything glass. I was like, Dad, no, I

607
00:27:21,834 --> 00:27:23,834
Speaker 5: can't do it, and it was like a glass door.

608
00:27:23,834 --> 00:27:25,874
Speaker 5: And he was like, don't worry. I'll like hang a towel.

609
00:27:26,674 --> 00:27:28,154
Speaker 5: I'll be fine. I won't watch. I'll just hang a

610
00:27:28,154 --> 00:27:29,754
Speaker 5: towel and I'll just be on the bed like chilling

611
00:27:29,754 --> 00:27:33,594
Speaker 5: and waiting. It's fine. So he hangs the tow I'm

612
00:27:33,594 --> 00:27:35,154
Speaker 5: on the toilet doing it.

613
00:27:35,394 --> 00:27:35,754
Speaker 1: Yes.

614
00:27:35,914 --> 00:27:38,274
Speaker 5: He turns the light on in the room. The whole

615
00:27:38,394 --> 00:27:44,114
Speaker 5: window like it's glass, not only glass, but glass towards

616
00:27:44,154 --> 00:27:46,794
Speaker 5: the bed where he's sitting on, facing me right level,

617
00:27:47,394 --> 00:27:50,234
Speaker 5: and then a window behind him to the rest of

618
00:27:50,274 --> 00:27:51,354
Speaker 5: the hotel.

619
00:27:54,114 --> 00:27:55,554
Speaker 2: Who asked for the but.

620
00:27:55,554 --> 00:27:58,914
Speaker 4: Also hang on a second etiquette when you're sharing a

621
00:27:58,914 --> 00:28:02,154
Speaker 4: hotel room with anyone, not just your parents or your kids,

622
00:28:02,194 --> 00:28:05,073
Speaker 4: but a partner, a friend, anyone. No.

623
00:28:05,154 --> 00:28:06,194
Speaker 1: Number two is in the room.

624
00:28:06,794 --> 00:28:08,194
Speaker 5: I have food poison there.

625
00:28:08,194 --> 00:28:11,114
Speaker 4: There's other bathrooms in every hotel.

626
00:28:11,314 --> 00:28:14,794
Speaker 1: There is a toilet near the gym, near the lobby.

627
00:28:14,874 --> 00:28:19,154
Speaker 4: Always always because you kidding people there, what.

628
00:28:19,154 --> 00:28:20,954
Speaker 5: If you came back from your pilates class.

629
00:28:21,074 --> 00:28:25,714
Speaker 4: You can't do it in your room and stink out

630
00:28:25,714 --> 00:28:28,634
Speaker 4: the room, or you prefer your roommate to stink.

631
00:28:28,354 --> 00:28:28,754
Speaker 1: Out the room.

632
00:28:28,794 --> 00:28:31,234
Speaker 3: Look, I have been on holidays with lots of other

633
00:28:31,234 --> 00:28:34,314
Speaker 3: people and we've traveled and whatever, and if I don't

634
00:28:34,314 --> 00:28:35,793
Speaker 3: go when I need to go, then I end up

635
00:28:35,794 --> 00:28:38,274
Speaker 3: with stomach issues. And we all know that it's just

636
00:28:38,314 --> 00:28:39,994
Speaker 3: really important to asking you.

637
00:28:39,994 --> 00:28:41,634
Speaker 1: To catch a bus.

638
00:28:41,994 --> 00:28:45,034
Speaker 4: I'm asking you to maybe get in the lift and

639
00:28:45,114 --> 00:28:46,274
Speaker 4: go down one floor.

640
00:28:46,594 --> 00:28:47,314
Speaker 2: This is what you do.

641
00:28:47,474 --> 00:28:49,914
Speaker 3: You get into the hotel that has a transparent door,

642
00:28:50,074 --> 00:28:52,674
Speaker 3: and you go, Okay, fuck, this holiday's right. And then

643
00:28:52,794 --> 00:28:54,874
Speaker 3: you say, let's go to the pool. And then you

644
00:28:54,874 --> 00:28:56,034
Speaker 3: go down to the pool, and then you say I

645
00:28:56,074 --> 00:28:59,594
Speaker 3: forgot my hat, and then you go upstairs and then.

646
00:28:59,554 --> 00:29:01,994
Speaker 2: You do what you need to And it's just an unwritten.

647
00:29:02,394 --> 00:29:03,994
Speaker 5: Contray message you and they can be found it.

648
00:29:04,074 --> 00:29:06,714
Speaker 1: Yea some time, Well they come in because they forgot

649
00:29:06,754 --> 00:29:06,994
Speaker 1: there some.

650
00:29:07,514 --> 00:29:10,154
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then that's an absolute relationship ruiner.

651
00:29:10,194 --> 00:29:11,674
Speaker 3: But I want it on the record that we all

652
00:29:11,754 --> 00:29:14,554
Speaker 3: want closed, yeah, proper doors.

653
00:29:14,714 --> 00:29:20,834
Speaker 5: I'd pay extra for a closed door exactly. So Valentine's

654
00:29:20,874 --> 00:29:23,474
Speaker 5: Day is around the corner. I'm very happy because I

655
00:29:23,474 --> 00:29:25,194
Speaker 5: am overseas so I don't have to deal with it.

656
00:29:25,274 --> 00:29:28,554
Speaker 5: The mental load of Valentine's day, and my algorithm is

657
00:29:28,594 --> 00:29:29,554
Speaker 5: filled with two things.

658
00:29:29,714 --> 00:29:31,794
Speaker 4: Well, I have a different calendar where you're going. Does

659
00:29:31,834 --> 00:29:32,514
Speaker 4: it not exist?

660
00:29:32,714 --> 00:29:35,554
Speaker 5: Well, I think because I'm on holiday. So we pretend

661
00:29:35,554 --> 00:29:38,034
Speaker 5: that it's not happening because you're doing holiday stuff.

662
00:29:38,154 --> 00:29:39,394
Speaker 2: Are you gonna be with your dad again?

663
00:29:39,434 --> 00:29:42,834
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be okay.

664
00:29:43,074 --> 00:29:44,354
Speaker 2: No, he's gonna buy you a rose.

665
00:29:44,434 --> 00:29:49,194
Speaker 5: I know it. He'll do something crazy. But my algorithm

666
00:29:49,234 --> 00:29:51,874
Speaker 5: is feeding me two things right now. One is reasonably

667
00:29:51,914 --> 00:29:54,834
Speaker 5: price gifts to give your situationship, and the second one

668
00:29:54,994 --> 00:29:58,114
Speaker 5: is ten reasons why you're not alone on Valentine's Day?

669
00:29:58,154 --> 00:29:59,794
Speaker 1: Can you explain situationships to me?

670
00:30:00,114 --> 00:30:03,554
Speaker 4: Because I know people who are like, it's complicated, and

671
00:30:03,554 --> 00:30:05,194
Speaker 4: I'm like, why are either of you married?

672
00:30:05,314 --> 00:30:07,954
Speaker 1: No, it's just a situationship. What does that even mean?

673
00:30:07,994 --> 00:30:10,474
Speaker 3: You're twenty three and you see each other regularly. It

674
00:30:10,514 --> 00:30:11,514
Speaker 3: sounds so simple.

675
00:30:11,594 --> 00:30:13,794
Speaker 5: You're just casually dating. Except one of you thinks you're

676
00:30:13,794 --> 00:30:16,034
Speaker 5: in a situationship and the other person thinks they're single.

677
00:30:16,074 --> 00:30:19,114
Speaker 4: What's the difference between it being a single a situationship

678
00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:21,714
Speaker 4: and a relationship being dating?

679
00:30:22,354 --> 00:30:22,634
Speaker 1: Okay?

680
00:30:22,914 --> 00:30:25,954
Speaker 5: Being single is like you're single, you're not dating, You're

681
00:30:25,994 --> 00:30:27,354
Speaker 5: just alone. That's fine.

682
00:30:27,394 --> 00:30:27,714
Speaker 1: That was me.

683
00:30:28,034 --> 00:30:32,314
Speaker 5: That was me. Dating means you're just seeing a few people,

684
00:30:32,514 --> 00:30:36,994
Speaker 5: maybe every few weeks. Situationship means that you're kind of

685
00:30:37,034 --> 00:30:39,674
Speaker 5: liking this one person you're dating, so you're only really

686
00:30:39,714 --> 00:30:42,474
Speaker 5: exclusively seeing them, but you haven't had that conversation. If

687
00:30:42,514 --> 00:30:43,954
Speaker 5: they're also exclusively seeing.

688
00:30:43,794 --> 00:30:45,954
Speaker 2: You, why they would to hook up with someone else?

689
00:30:45,994 --> 00:30:46,754
Speaker 2: Then it's like you.

690
00:30:46,754 --> 00:30:48,754
Speaker 5: Will be a bit sad, but you can't do They

691
00:30:48,834 --> 00:30:50,554
Speaker 5: have to tell you that they're hooking up.

692
00:30:50,754 --> 00:30:52,634
Speaker 1: Well, why is that different from dating? You just said

693
00:30:52,754 --> 00:30:53,794
Speaker 1: you're seeing different people.

694
00:30:53,834 --> 00:30:56,674
Speaker 5: That's a situationship is like when you've decided that you're

695
00:30:56,674 --> 00:30:58,394
Speaker 5: only going to be seeing that person, but you're too

696
00:30:58,434 --> 00:31:00,314
Speaker 5: scared to have the conversation that you're seeing them.

697
00:31:00,514 --> 00:31:03,194
Speaker 2: It's a continuum, and a situationship is one up.

698
00:31:03,074 --> 00:31:05,994
Speaker 5: From and then you've got relationship. My life's really hard, guys. Anyway,

699
00:31:06,074 --> 00:31:08,834
Speaker 5: what do you got in there? I'm in a bit

700
00:31:08,914 --> 00:31:11,754
Speaker 5: of a dating one person right now.

701
00:31:12,074 --> 00:31:13,634
Speaker 1: That sounds like a situation ship.

702
00:31:13,874 --> 00:31:14,754
Speaker 5: It's a bit more.

703
00:31:14,634 --> 00:31:16,634
Speaker 2: Are you getting them a Valentine present?

704
00:31:16,754 --> 00:31:17,034
Speaker 1: Sorry?

705
00:31:17,034 --> 00:31:19,194
Speaker 2: But if I'm not sorry, you just.

706
00:31:19,274 --> 00:31:23,394
Speaker 4: Told me that dating is the rung on the leaderboard. Relationship.

707
00:31:23,514 --> 00:31:28,394
Speaker 5: I'm exclusively dating someone, So that's a situationship. No situationship

708
00:31:28,434 --> 00:31:31,594
Speaker 5: is non exclusive. We'll get there one day, maybe we'll

709
00:31:31,594 --> 00:31:34,354
Speaker 5: do a subject on this. But there was an article

710
00:31:34,394 --> 00:31:37,594
Speaker 5: in Cosmopolitan that made me go, oh my god. It

711
00:31:37,634 --> 00:31:39,994
Speaker 5: was written by Kayla Kibb, and she talked about how

712
00:31:40,074 --> 00:31:43,594
Speaker 5: Valentine's Day is not actually the saddest day for single people.

713
00:31:44,114 --> 00:31:47,794
Speaker 5: It's your birthday. So she referenced this scene in Sex

714
00:31:47,834 --> 00:31:50,794
Speaker 5: and the City and it's when Carrie spends her thirty

715
00:31:50,794 --> 00:31:52,834
Speaker 5: fifth birthday alone. No one shows up to a party,

716
00:31:53,314 --> 00:31:55,714
Speaker 5: and she walks home with her cake by herself, and

717
00:31:55,754 --> 00:31:58,914
Speaker 5: then she's with the call for and she says, I

718
00:31:58,954 --> 00:32:01,114
Speaker 5: hate myself a little for saying this, but it felt

719
00:32:01,154 --> 00:32:03,234
Speaker 5: really sad not to have a man in my life

720
00:32:03,274 --> 00:32:05,154
Speaker 5: who cares about me. And that's when we get that

721
00:32:05,194 --> 00:32:06,994
Speaker 5: I kind of quote from Charlotte where she's like, let's

722
00:32:06,994 --> 00:32:08,954
Speaker 5: be each other's soul mats ah.

723
00:32:08,994 --> 00:32:09,834
Speaker 1: So I did did well?

724
00:32:09,914 --> 00:32:14,794
Speaker 5: Yeah when I remember so specifically watching this episode, and

725
00:32:15,634 --> 00:32:17,794
Speaker 5: it just hit me because I have felt that exact

726
00:32:17,834 --> 00:32:20,594
Speaker 5: sentiment on my birthday. And I also hated a minute again.

727
00:32:20,874 --> 00:32:24,314
Speaker 5: It was I think two years ago where I always

728
00:32:24,394 --> 00:32:26,234
Speaker 5: have to do something on my birthday, like, I always

729
00:32:26,274 --> 00:32:27,954
Speaker 5: have to celebrate it because then if I don't, then

730
00:32:27,954 --> 00:32:30,914
Speaker 5: I just get really really sad and depressed. And I

731
00:32:30,954 --> 00:32:33,074
Speaker 5: always do a big dinner with my family and my

732
00:32:33,114 --> 00:32:36,194
Speaker 5: closest friends. And the dinner was great. I had so

733
00:32:36,354 --> 00:32:39,154
Speaker 5: much fun. And then it got to the point after

734
00:32:39,194 --> 00:32:43,874
Speaker 5: the dinner and everyone went home. Yeah, and my parents

735
00:32:43,874 --> 00:32:46,674
Speaker 5: went home together, my sister and her boyfriend went home together,

736
00:32:46,794 --> 00:32:49,714
Speaker 5: my friends went home together. And I walked home alone

737
00:32:49,874 --> 00:32:52,354
Speaker 5: and got home and then I just bawled my eyes out.

738
00:32:52,674 --> 00:32:54,954
Speaker 1: You thought you didn't matter because I thought I didn't

739
00:32:54,994 --> 00:32:55,794
Speaker 1: make It's okay.

740
00:32:55,834 --> 00:32:58,634
Speaker 2: It's the built in plans element. That's what a good

741
00:32:58,714 --> 00:32:59,674
Speaker 2: relationship has.

742
00:32:59,874 --> 00:33:01,754
Speaker 3: Is that like on Valentine's Day or your birthday, or

743
00:33:01,794 --> 00:33:03,314
Speaker 3: Christmas or New Year's Eve, it's like you have some

744
00:33:03,474 --> 00:33:07,074
Speaker 3: kind of built in like idea of you kind of

745
00:33:07,114 --> 00:33:09,914
Speaker 3: take for granted you won't be alone, right, But I

746
00:33:09,994 --> 00:33:14,954
Speaker 3: reckon even sadder than a birthday single if you don't

747
00:33:14,954 --> 00:33:18,434
Speaker 3: want to be single, is a birthday with a shit

748
00:33:18,554 --> 00:33:23,234
Speaker 3: boyfriend who like being in a ship relationship and they

749
00:33:23,274 --> 00:33:25,194
Speaker 3: don't make it fast and they don't make you feel special,

750
00:33:25,194 --> 00:33:28,194
Speaker 3: and you've got all of these expectations and you spend

751
00:33:28,194 --> 00:33:29,674
Speaker 3: it with them because.

752
00:33:29,434 --> 00:33:31,034
Speaker 4: You know why, because you feel again, you do feel

753
00:33:31,034 --> 00:33:33,874
Speaker 4: like you don't matter and someone disappoints you.

754
00:33:33,994 --> 00:33:34,474
Speaker 1: So what's the.

755
00:33:34,474 --> 00:33:37,194
Speaker 5: Actually because I've never been in a relationship on my birthday,

756
00:33:37,354 --> 00:33:40,194
Speaker 5: so what's the actual feeling of having that opposite?

757
00:33:40,514 --> 00:33:45,674
Speaker 3: But I remember this birthday where like I sensed my

758
00:33:45,674 --> 00:33:48,034
Speaker 3: boyfriend didn't like me, but it was confirmed that day

759
00:33:48,834 --> 00:33:51,754
Speaker 3: and it was just like my birthday was just very much.

760
00:33:52,714 --> 00:33:54,794
Speaker 3: I remember like waking up and being like, oh, what

761
00:33:54,794 --> 00:33:56,474
Speaker 3: do you do? Like he didn't plan anything or anything.

762
00:33:56,474 --> 00:33:58,954
Speaker 3: We've been together for like a year, Like it wasn't

763
00:33:59,434 --> 00:34:02,994
Speaker 3: you know, he should have done something. And then he

764
00:34:03,074 --> 00:34:08,074
Speaker 3: bought me this faulting dress that was like the threads

765
00:34:08,074 --> 00:34:10,274
Speaker 3: were coming out and it was something I would never wear,

766
00:34:10,354 --> 00:34:12,433
Speaker 3: and it was just the most not me present, and

767
00:34:12,473 --> 00:34:12,873
Speaker 3: I was like.

768
00:34:12,794 --> 00:34:15,354
Speaker 2: I don't even I don't care about presents.

769
00:34:14,994 --> 00:34:16,354
Speaker 1: But like you didn't feel seen.

770
00:34:16,434 --> 00:34:18,953
Speaker 2: I'm so offended by whatever the hell this is.

771
00:34:19,594 --> 00:34:22,794
Speaker 3: And then I think he made plans with someone else.

772
00:34:22,914 --> 00:34:25,393
Speaker 3: I was then kind of left in limbo, like are

773
00:34:25,434 --> 00:34:26,474
Speaker 3: we doing dinner?

774
00:34:26,634 --> 00:34:28,474
Speaker 2: Like that was my most oppressing birthday.

775
00:34:28,514 --> 00:34:30,354
Speaker 3: I would rather have been single and then just been

776
00:34:30,394 --> 00:34:32,433
Speaker 3: like at least I can choose what to do, who

777
00:34:32,474 --> 00:34:33,154
Speaker 3: I spend it with.

778
00:34:33,274 --> 00:34:36,913
Speaker 4: Yeah, birthdays it can be really confronting depending on where

779
00:34:36,914 --> 00:34:37,914
Speaker 4: you are in your life.

780
00:34:38,314 --> 00:34:40,634
Speaker 3: I also find New Year's Eve hard single. I reckon

781
00:34:40,674 --> 00:34:42,754
Speaker 3: Newyears Eve is harder than Valentine's.

782
00:34:42,274 --> 00:34:44,634
Speaker 1: Day, lighter pressure at midnight, we're gonna kiss?

783
00:34:45,074 --> 00:34:46,154
Speaker 2: Exactly what did you do?

784
00:34:46,234 --> 00:34:48,873
Speaker 5: In New I always had my girlfriends over and I

785
00:34:48,914 --> 00:34:51,794
Speaker 5: was dating. I was sorry, right, yeah, not to kiss.

786
00:34:51,914 --> 00:34:54,274
Speaker 5: Now look at the fireworks and then make fun of

787
00:34:54,274 --> 00:34:55,834
Speaker 5: all the singers on ABC.

788
00:34:56,394 --> 00:34:57,674
Speaker 2: I remember pastime.

789
00:34:58,514 --> 00:35:01,514
Speaker 3: I remember at school, boys would send like big bouquets

790
00:35:01,514 --> 00:35:03,473
Speaker 3: of flowers to the school for like, and then bear

791
00:35:03,514 --> 00:35:06,354
Speaker 3: thing over the thing, being like em come to the

792
00:35:06,434 --> 00:35:11,794
Speaker 3: office God. And the nuns fucking hated the nuns. Nuns

793
00:35:11,834 --> 00:35:13,554
Speaker 3: had no time for teenage boys.

794
00:35:13,794 --> 00:35:16,314
Speaker 1: They were just like, so, you don't think they were jealous.

795
00:35:16,434 --> 00:35:17,514
Speaker 2: I don't think they were jealous.

796
00:35:17,554 --> 00:35:20,354
Speaker 3: They were just like, honestly, that boy will break your heart,

797
00:35:20,474 --> 00:35:22,634
Speaker 3: which he did, and he's a waste of be a time.

798
00:35:22,794 --> 00:35:24,754
Speaker 2: They just hated it. The public displaze of affection.

799
00:35:25,034 --> 00:35:26,594
Speaker 5: I would call him sick. I wouldn't be able to

800
00:35:26,594 --> 00:35:27,794
Speaker 5: handle that. No, it was too much.

801
00:35:27,794 --> 00:35:30,514
Speaker 2: It was awful after the break.

802
00:35:30,554 --> 00:35:34,074
Speaker 3: Our recommendations from a hair accessory to a book I've

803
00:35:34,074 --> 00:35:36,913
Speaker 3: been dying to tell you about, to the television show

804
00:35:37,154 --> 00:35:38,674
Speaker 3: that is one of the biggest of.

805
00:35:38,674 --> 00:35:48,993
Speaker 5: The year, bribes, ideas, atmosphere, something casual, something fun. This

806
00:35:49,074 --> 00:35:53,114
Speaker 5: is my best recommendation. It is Friday, and we want

807
00:35:53,154 --> 00:35:56,594
Speaker 5: to help set up your weekend with our very best recommendations.

808
00:35:56,594 --> 00:35:58,434
Speaker 5: Who wants to go first? Maya?

809
00:35:58,554 --> 00:36:01,114
Speaker 4: I want to talk about Bridgeton, but that's not my

810
00:36:01,674 --> 00:36:02,474
Speaker 4: that's my record.

811
00:36:02,474 --> 00:36:04,073
Speaker 1: I know it's yours. So why don't you start?

812
00:36:04,114 --> 00:36:08,074
Speaker 5: Okay, I'll start Bridgeton. Season four is out half of

813
00:36:08,074 --> 00:36:10,474
Speaker 5: a season. Fours out now, the first four episodes. The

814
00:36:10,514 --> 00:36:13,434
Speaker 5: rest of the season drops I think February twenty six.

815
00:36:13,594 --> 00:36:16,154
Speaker 4: Why do they do that now? Because Netflix used to

816
00:36:16,274 --> 00:36:19,594
Speaker 4: drop whole seasons of things, and then they started a

817
00:36:19,594 --> 00:36:21,794
Speaker 4: couple of years ago dropping them in two halves.

818
00:36:22,034 --> 00:36:24,714
Speaker 5: I think it's firstly for us to yearn to yearn

819
00:36:24,794 --> 00:36:27,634
Speaker 5: for the season, like how Bridgeton people yearn for each other,

820
00:36:27,954 --> 00:36:30,393
Speaker 5: and then they get an extra promo about it, because

821
00:36:30,434 --> 00:36:33,394
Speaker 5: you know how whenever each Bridgeton series, in each book

822
00:36:33,434 --> 00:36:36,274
Speaker 5: is about one of the Bridgeton's siblings, and they're doing

823
00:36:36,314 --> 00:36:38,514
Speaker 5: that whole play of like they're really in love with

824
00:36:38,554 --> 00:36:40,993
Speaker 5: each other. I remember when Nikola did her Big One

825
00:36:41,114 --> 00:36:43,314
Speaker 5: and even though the guy Colin, the guy who played

826
00:36:43,314 --> 00:36:45,674
Speaker 5: Colin was in a relationship, we all just pretended he

827
00:36:45,794 --> 00:36:48,314
Speaker 5: wasn't because they were just so like Toget, we just

828
00:36:48,354 --> 00:36:48,993
Speaker 5: love them together.

829
00:36:48,994 --> 00:36:49,594
Speaker 1: Those people, it.

830
00:36:49,554 --> 00:36:50,514
Speaker 2: Gives you extra buzz.

831
00:36:50,554 --> 00:36:52,754
Speaker 3: But then I'm watching the Peter I talked about last week,

832
00:36:52,754 --> 00:36:54,194
Speaker 3: and it's week to week and I just don't have

833
00:36:54,234 --> 00:36:57,154
Speaker 3: the patience. I just like, I'm loving it.

834
00:36:57,194 --> 00:36:58,873
Speaker 1: But is that a show you can binge? From what

835
00:36:58,954 --> 00:36:59,274
Speaker 1: I hear?

836
00:36:59,434 --> 00:37:01,834
Speaker 4: I keep stealing myself to try and watch that. Is

837
00:37:01,874 --> 00:37:03,433
Speaker 4: that a show you want to watch all in one?

838
00:37:03,594 --> 00:37:04,634
Speaker 2: I love binging.

839
00:37:04,754 --> 00:37:06,513
Speaker 3: I love sitting down and just being able to watch

840
00:37:06,514 --> 00:37:08,674
Speaker 3: as much as a little as I want. So the

841
00:37:08,714 --> 00:37:10,074
Speaker 3: first four episodes of this are out.

842
00:37:10,154 --> 00:37:11,234
Speaker 2: Is it still very sexy?

843
00:37:11,434 --> 00:37:14,834
Speaker 5: It's still very sexy. It stars yarn Hah who's an

844
00:37:14,834 --> 00:37:17,114
Speaker 5: Australian actress with Korean heritage.

845
00:37:17,194 --> 00:37:19,314
Speaker 4: That was the first thing I googled. So I saw

846
00:37:19,354 --> 00:37:22,394
Speaker 4: her character and she's a new character, the love interest,

847
00:37:22,514 --> 00:37:23,873
Speaker 4: and I was like, is that a bit of an

848
00:37:23,914 --> 00:37:26,954
Speaker 4: Australian accent? And I googled it and it was her

849
00:37:26,994 --> 00:37:29,714
Speaker 4: Australian accent comes through a bit, but I was also

850
00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:30,514
Speaker 4: I'm only.

851
00:37:30,394 --> 00:37:32,074
Speaker 1: Up to episode three.

852
00:37:32,634 --> 00:37:35,634
Speaker 4: It's not as sexy, I think, as the show's got bigger,

853
00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:39,473
Speaker 4: all the stars have had their contracts redrawn a bit,

854
00:37:39,554 --> 00:37:41,754
Speaker 4: so there's just a lot of sort of bed covers

855
00:37:41,754 --> 00:37:43,913
Speaker 4: and stuff. Because it was really launchy the first couple

856
00:37:43,994 --> 00:37:47,554
Speaker 4: of there's not as much. I haven't seen much sex well.

857
00:37:47,634 --> 00:37:50,034
Speaker 5: I think it's very similar to season two, which is

858
00:37:50,074 --> 00:37:53,194
Speaker 5: my favorite season, the one where Jonathan Bailey and Simone Ashley,

859
00:37:53,514 --> 00:37:56,674
Speaker 5: and this right now is on par for me. I

860
00:37:56,794 --> 00:38:00,433
Speaker 5: like the whole storyline, and it seems very similar to

861
00:38:00,554 --> 00:38:03,354
Speaker 5: Downton Abbey, Like you're getting the upstairs and downstairs, so

862
00:38:03,434 --> 00:38:05,354
Speaker 5: with this season in Bridgeton, you're also seeing like the

863
00:38:05,394 --> 00:38:07,794
Speaker 5: servants and the maids and how they talk to each

864
00:38:07,794 --> 00:38:10,714
Speaker 5: other and interact and prepare the houses, which I really

865
00:38:10,754 --> 00:38:13,514
Speaker 5: really enjoy. It's also very similar to a Cinderella story.

866
00:38:13,914 --> 00:38:16,393
Speaker 1: Is it similar? It is like it is.

867
00:38:17,074 --> 00:38:19,354
Speaker 4: I thought that was fantastic, But what you just said

868
00:38:19,354 --> 00:38:21,754
Speaker 4: it's similar to Downtown Abbey. I don't know if you

869
00:38:21,834 --> 00:38:24,434
Speaker 4: found this, but because these shows I'm also watching the

870
00:38:24,474 --> 00:38:27,594
Speaker 4: Gilded Age, which is like the American version of Bridgeton

871
00:38:27,674 --> 00:38:30,393
Speaker 4: or Downto Nabbey. Right, And because I'm watching all of

872
00:38:30,434 --> 00:38:32,234
Speaker 4: these shows and I watched down Town Abbey a bit before,

873
00:38:32,274 --> 00:38:34,433
Speaker 4: I'm now getting them all confused because they've all got

874
00:38:34,474 --> 00:38:36,994
Speaker 4: the upstairs and the downstairs, and you're right, this is

875
00:38:37,034 --> 00:38:40,554
Speaker 4: more upstairs and downstairs. So I keep expecting, like, where's

876
00:38:40,554 --> 00:38:44,393
Speaker 4: Cynthia Nixon gone? Is Christine Baranski in this one? No?

877
00:38:44,754 --> 00:38:47,954
Speaker 4: And then the servant, that guy with the long face, No, wait, he's.

878
00:38:47,754 --> 00:38:48,473
Speaker 1: In the other show.

879
00:38:48,794 --> 00:38:51,194
Speaker 4: So it took me at least an episode to orient

880
00:38:51,234 --> 00:38:52,354
Speaker 4: myself into who's who.

881
00:38:52,394 --> 00:38:54,274
Speaker 3: Can I ask if I watched it, I liked season

882
00:38:54,954 --> 00:38:57,393
Speaker 3: I've been busy. I haven't seen season two or season three.

883
00:38:57,394 --> 00:38:59,194
Speaker 3: Can you dip back in or should you kind of

884
00:38:59,234 --> 00:38:59,794
Speaker 3: watch it all?

885
00:39:00,074 --> 00:39:02,913
Speaker 5: You can dip back in. I reckon you should watch

886
00:39:02,954 --> 00:39:03,194
Speaker 5: it all.

887
00:39:03,314 --> 00:39:03,913
Speaker 2: Go back to two.

888
00:39:04,234 --> 00:39:06,234
Speaker 5: I go back to two. Two is the best. But also,

889
00:39:06,394 --> 00:39:08,754
Speaker 5: when I finished watching these four episodes, you know when

890
00:39:08,794 --> 00:39:11,314
Speaker 5: you watch something and you're so obsessed with it that

891
00:39:11,394 --> 00:39:14,514
Speaker 5: you just want to keep talking about it. So we

892
00:39:14,754 --> 00:39:17,393
Speaker 5: do a podcast called watch Party here at Mama Mia,

893
00:39:17,794 --> 00:39:20,794
Speaker 5: which dissects the biggest TV shows and movies that are

894
00:39:20,834 --> 00:39:23,913
Speaker 5: happening right now, and they've just done a bridget in episode.

895
00:39:23,994 --> 00:39:26,433
Speaker 5: It's hosted by three super fans that we have here

896
00:39:26,434 --> 00:39:29,154
Speaker 5: at Mama Mia, and they talk everything from like why

897
00:39:29,274 --> 00:39:32,553
Speaker 5: certain costumes which chosen, like behind the scenes, we didn't

898
00:39:32,554 --> 00:39:35,234
Speaker 5: have the entertainment team interview the whole cast, Like they

899
00:39:35,354 --> 00:39:38,234
Speaker 5: just know so much behind the scenes that like scratches that.

900
00:39:38,314 --> 00:39:39,994
Speaker 3: It so it's all that stuff. You would sit on

901
00:39:40,034 --> 00:39:40,834
Speaker 3: the couch googling.

902
00:39:40,954 --> 00:39:42,234
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's it's all there.

903
00:39:42,274 --> 00:39:42,674
Speaker 1: I find.

904
00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:44,513
Speaker 4: That's the first thing I want to do because also

905
00:39:44,554 --> 00:39:47,114
Speaker 4: the way we watch TV now, you're not up to

906
00:39:47,194 --> 00:39:49,274
Speaker 4: season four. I don't know where you're up to in

907
00:39:49,354 --> 00:39:49,953
Speaker 4: season four?

908
00:39:50,114 --> 00:39:50,834
Speaker 1: Is it season four?

909
00:39:51,114 --> 00:39:53,634
Speaker 4: Well? Yeah, yeah the first I'm like up to episode two,

910
00:39:53,674 --> 00:39:56,513
Speaker 4: so I don't want spoilers. So I love going after

911
00:39:56,554 --> 00:39:58,514
Speaker 4: I've watched the show that I love going and listening

912
00:39:58,754 --> 00:40:01,234
Speaker 4: to a podcast discussion about it because it's like the

913
00:40:01,314 --> 00:40:03,754
Speaker 4: debrief that you need. So I'm going to watch two

914
00:40:03,754 --> 00:40:04,953
Speaker 4: more episodes and then I'm going to listen.

915
00:40:05,074 --> 00:40:06,754
Speaker 5: It's so good, we'll link it in our show notes.

916
00:40:07,274 --> 00:40:08,114
Speaker 2: What's your record?

917
00:40:08,154 --> 00:40:10,634
Speaker 4: My recommendation, I'm gonna have to take my headphones off

918
00:40:10,634 --> 00:40:12,834
Speaker 4: to show you, so some may have people may have

919
00:40:12,914 --> 00:40:17,274
Speaker 4: noticed that I had glitter extensions tin tinsel in my hair. Right,

920
00:40:17,354 --> 00:40:19,473
Speaker 4: it looks really nice with the studio lights on, Thank

921
00:40:19,514 --> 00:40:22,834
Speaker 4: you so much. So what happened is before Christmas, I

922
00:40:22,914 --> 00:40:24,794
Speaker 4: was at the hairdresser and I saw one of the

923
00:40:24,834 --> 00:40:27,594
Speaker 4: other people who worked there. She had like these blue

924
00:40:27,794 --> 00:40:29,354
Speaker 4: glitter strands in her hair and I was like, oh,

925
00:40:29,354 --> 00:40:32,993
Speaker 4: it's that and my hairdresser, l our hairdresser, was like, oh,

926
00:40:33,114 --> 00:40:35,594
Speaker 4: we do that. You know, they bond in like little

927
00:40:35,594 --> 00:40:37,954
Speaker 4: hair mini hair extensions and we've got them in all colors,

928
00:40:37,954 --> 00:40:40,074
Speaker 4: and I was like, tell me more. So she put

929
00:40:40,114 --> 00:40:43,154
Speaker 4: them in my hair and I just didn't think about it,

930
00:40:43,194 --> 00:40:45,834
Speaker 4: had them in for six weeks, loved it over Christmas,

931
00:40:46,034 --> 00:40:48,074
Speaker 4: you know, until I next went back to the hairdress

932
00:40:48,154 --> 00:40:50,994
Speaker 4: to get my roots done. But it's hard to get

933
00:40:51,034 --> 00:40:53,674
Speaker 4: them out, and getting them in is a bit annoying too,

934
00:40:53,874 --> 00:40:54,314
Speaker 4: and you know.

935
00:40:54,594 --> 00:40:56,873
Speaker 5: Tied onto your actual strands of hair, they're like.

936
00:40:56,994 --> 00:40:59,553
Speaker 4: Clamped with these little metal clamps, so you can't take

937
00:40:59,594 --> 00:41:02,114
Speaker 4: them all proper ol. Right. Yeah, So I got them

938
00:41:02,114 --> 00:41:04,274
Speaker 4: out a couple of weeks ago because they were starting

939
00:41:04,274 --> 00:41:05,154
Speaker 4: to a little bit matted.

940
00:41:05,274 --> 00:41:06,674
Speaker 1: I was like, I want some more, but I didn't

941
00:41:06,674 --> 00:41:08,674
Speaker 1: have time because I get so bored at the hairdresser.

942
00:41:09,034 --> 00:41:11,714
Speaker 1: So what I did was I went and looked. Jesse's

943
00:41:11,714 --> 00:41:12,954
Speaker 1: so riveted by this, She's.

944
00:41:12,794 --> 00:41:16,034
Speaker 4: Trying to wawn, and I got little clip on ones

945
00:41:16,434 --> 00:41:17,474
Speaker 4: in all different colors.

946
00:41:18,074 --> 00:41:21,074
Speaker 2: So Maya's holding up. It's like it looks like tensil.

947
00:41:21,194 --> 00:41:22,554
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like those little clips.

948
00:41:22,594 --> 00:41:25,194
Speaker 4: I think they're weig clips, and it's got little strands,

949
00:41:25,274 --> 00:41:29,834
Speaker 4: individual strands. They look like hair, but they're like tillery. Yeah,

950
00:41:29,834 --> 00:41:30,874
Speaker 4: and you can get them in anything.

951
00:41:30,914 --> 00:41:33,074
Speaker 2: It reminds me of I used to have hair put

952
00:41:33,114 --> 00:41:35,913
Speaker 2: hair feathers in. Do you ever wear hair feathers? I

953
00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:38,114
Speaker 2: don't think, maybe fifteen years ago.

954
00:41:38,234 --> 00:41:40,834
Speaker 1: I also wore like a blue Street.

955
00:41:40,234 --> 00:41:42,834
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, or I could plait like that was colored

956
00:41:42,914 --> 00:41:43,314
Speaker 3: or whatever.

957
00:41:43,514 --> 00:41:44,754
Speaker 2: I think it's kind of fun.

958
00:41:44,914 --> 00:41:48,593
Speaker 4: Yeah, so your joy, oh my god, so much joy.

959
00:41:48,674 --> 00:41:50,634
Speaker 4: Now I've just got another. Remember when I had my

960
00:41:50,714 --> 00:41:53,513
Speaker 4: shoe char my shoe jawl.

961
00:41:53,554 --> 00:41:55,034
Speaker 5: At least this one doesn't make any noise.

962
00:41:55,114 --> 00:41:58,473
Speaker 4: This isn't an audio hazard, so yeah, I will put

963
00:41:58,514 --> 00:42:00,154
Speaker 4: a link in the show notes to where to get that.

964
00:42:00,434 --> 00:42:01,393
Speaker 5: Jesse, what do you have?

965
00:42:01,874 --> 00:42:04,553
Speaker 3: I have a book that I actually read months ago

966
00:42:04,634 --> 00:42:06,754
Speaker 3: and I was desperate to recommend, but it was an

967
00:42:06,754 --> 00:42:08,994
Speaker 3: advance copy site to wait and wait and wait. And

968
00:42:09,034 --> 00:42:12,114
Speaker 3: I've been on such a role lately with incredible books,

969
00:42:12,154 --> 00:42:14,954
Speaker 3: but this one stuck with me. Is called On the

970
00:42:15,114 --> 00:42:19,433
Speaker 3: Edge by Kate Horn, who is an Australian author, and

971
00:42:19,834 --> 00:42:24,513
Speaker 3: the premise is that Nell's dad. The main character is Nell.

972
00:42:24,834 --> 00:42:27,674
Speaker 3: Her dad has died and she needs to go and

973
00:42:27,794 --> 00:42:31,393
Speaker 3: just like run his GP practice before they sell it, right,

974
00:42:31,474 --> 00:42:33,714
Speaker 3: And so she returns to the small coastal town where

975
00:42:33,754 --> 00:42:35,714
Speaker 3: she grew up. But you get this sense that she

976
00:42:35,914 --> 00:42:40,194
Speaker 3: left in this kind of like shameful. She was almost

977
00:42:40,274 --> 00:42:42,953
Speaker 3: run out of the town doctor us something. Yes she's

978
00:42:42,994 --> 00:42:45,514
Speaker 3: a doctor too. There's this weird vibe between her and

979
00:42:45,554 --> 00:42:47,794
Speaker 3: everyone in the town. They think she did something awful

980
00:42:48,994 --> 00:42:51,433
Speaker 3: and you discover that something happened to her when she

981
00:42:51,514 --> 00:42:54,594
Speaker 3: was a teenager and she thinks that the truth kind

982
00:42:54,594 --> 00:42:56,674
Speaker 3: of never came out, and so it's this kind of

983
00:42:56,714 --> 00:42:59,354
Speaker 3: twisty mystery suspenseful.

984
00:42:59,754 --> 00:43:00,393
Speaker 2: I picked it up.

985
00:43:00,474 --> 00:43:03,314
Speaker 3: I give books, honestly, I'm so bad, but I give

986
00:43:03,314 --> 00:43:04,034
Speaker 3: them my five.

987
00:43:03,874 --> 00:43:06,513
Speaker 2: Pages now to get me in. And this totally got

988
00:43:06,554 --> 00:43:07,914
Speaker 2: me in. Was brilliant.

989
00:43:07,954 --> 00:43:08,954
Speaker 1: It's like a mystery.

990
00:43:09,074 --> 00:43:12,634
Speaker 3: It's a mystery and it's like a Sally hepworth Lea Moriarty,

991
00:43:12,714 --> 00:43:15,154
Speaker 3: Jane Harper, Like it is absolutely that caliber.

992
00:43:15,714 --> 00:43:16,794
Speaker 2: It is called on the Edge.

993
00:43:16,794 --> 00:43:20,074
Speaker 3: And I love Australian coastal towns, like I love that vibe.

994
00:43:20,474 --> 00:43:22,993
Speaker 2: It is just so readable. Love it, love it, love it.

995
00:43:23,154 --> 00:43:26,074
Speaker 2: On the edge. That is all we have time for.

996
00:43:26,554 --> 00:43:28,514
Speaker 3: You're doing the outro, it is I'm doing the outro.

997
00:43:28,594 --> 00:43:30,674
Speaker 3: I don't know how Holly does it so seamlessly, because

998
00:43:30,674 --> 00:43:33,114
Speaker 3: it's like it's not all we have time for, Like

999
00:43:33,274 --> 00:43:34,794
Speaker 3: no one's really wrapping us.

1000
00:43:34,874 --> 00:43:36,314
Speaker 2: But I guess like we're done.

1001
00:43:36,394 --> 00:43:38,834
Speaker 4: Ye yeah, it's not another elimited amount of time, no

1002
00:43:40,234 --> 00:43:41,274
Speaker 4: run out exactly.

1003
00:43:41,394 --> 00:43:42,993
Speaker 5: But we do matter. We do.

1004
00:43:43,194 --> 00:43:44,394
Speaker 2: We do really matter.

1005
00:43:45,234 --> 00:43:48,874
Speaker 3: Speaking of people who matter, our team, team, they matter

1006
00:43:48,994 --> 00:43:49,473
Speaker 3: so much.

1007
00:43:49,594 --> 00:43:52,074
Speaker 5: Em a big thank you to our whole team. Our

1008
00:43:52,074 --> 00:43:55,874
Speaker 5: group executive producer Root Divine, our executive producer Sasha Tanic,

1009
00:43:56,194 --> 00:43:59,154
Speaker 5: our senior audio producer is Leah porge'es, our video producer

1010
00:43:59,194 --> 00:44:02,314
Speaker 5: is Josh Green, and our junior content producer is Tessa Kodovich.

1011
00:44:02,794 --> 00:44:06,433
Speaker 4: Bye oh bye bye, and I'm on the subzeps. This

1012
00:44:06,474 --> 00:44:09,194
Speaker 4: week if you're listen, I'm not competitive, but I'm trying

1013
00:44:09,194 --> 00:44:10,394
Speaker 4: to beat these people.

1014
00:44:17,674 --> 00:44:20,634
Speaker 3: MOA Mayor acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on

1015
00:44:20,674 --> 00:44:22,394
Speaker 3: which we have recorded this podcast.