1
00:00:11,064 --> 00:00:14,144
Speaker 1: So you're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.

2
00:00:14,744 --> 00:00:18,664
Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters

3
00:00:18,704 --> 00:00:22,384
Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on. Hello spillers, Today, We've

4
00:00:22,384 --> 00:00:25,264
Speaker 2: got something a little special for you. It's an episode

5
00:00:25,264 --> 00:00:27,984
Speaker 2: from mid a podcast we produce here at Mama Mia,

6
00:00:28,024 --> 00:00:31,264
Speaker 2: hosted by Holly Wainwright. We thought we'd dropped this episode

7
00:00:31,304 --> 00:00:33,784
Speaker 2: into your feed because I know how much you all

8
00:00:33,904 --> 00:00:37,904
Speaker 2: love classic Australian TV shows. And in this episode Holly

9
00:00:37,984 --> 00:00:41,824
Speaker 2: talks to the one and only Simone Jade McKinnon aka

10
00:00:42,144 --> 00:00:45,704
Speaker 2: Stevie from Mcloud's Daughters. So in this episode you'll hear

11
00:00:45,744 --> 00:00:49,704
Speaker 2: how Simone joined that iconic Australian TV show right after

12
00:00:49,744 --> 00:00:54,144
Speaker 2: starring in another headline making TV show, Baywatch, alongside her

13
00:00:54,264 --> 00:00:57,384
Speaker 2: then fiance Jason Mamola. Yes, she gets into that in

14
00:00:57,424 --> 00:01:01,744
Speaker 2: this interview, and then everything for Simone changed. So here

15
00:01:01,824 --> 00:01:03,784
Speaker 2: she opens up about being part of one of the

16
00:01:03,784 --> 00:01:06,424
Speaker 2: biggest shows in the world, only to be fired for

17
00:01:06,504 --> 00:01:09,704
Speaker 2: refusing to film in lingerie on a beach. She also

18
00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:12,704
Speaker 2: talks about how she handles panic attacks, a public breakup,

19
00:01:12,984 --> 00:01:15,344
Speaker 2: and raising her son on a tight budget while also

20
00:01:15,504 --> 00:01:18,984
Speaker 2: chasing her dreams. Take a Listener to this episode with Simone,

21
00:01:18,984 --> 00:01:21,104
Speaker 2: and if you want more episodes of mid check out

22
00:01:21,104 --> 00:01:22,184
Speaker 2: the show notes for the link.

23
00:01:25,744 --> 00:01:29,784
Speaker 3: The midlife woman of Hollywood's imagination lives in a windswept

24
00:01:29,824 --> 00:01:35,064
Speaker 3: beach house or in a chic Brooklyn brownstone, maybe a

25
00:01:35,104 --> 00:01:38,624
Speaker 3: tasteful Hampton style home with a kitchen island the size

26
00:01:38,664 --> 00:01:41,504
Speaker 3: of a pool table, an ape burn, a stove, and

27
00:01:41,584 --> 00:01:45,304
Speaker 3: a butler's pantry out the back. She wears tasteful roll

28
00:01:45,424 --> 00:01:48,024
Speaker 3: necks as she dips in and out of a fulfilling

29
00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:51,304
Speaker 3: career at will, usually something she can work on at

30
00:01:51,304 --> 00:01:54,824
Speaker 3: that home. Billowing with the smell of freshly baked bread,

31
00:01:55,784 --> 00:01:58,704
Speaker 3: she returns from the farmer's market with arms full of

32
00:01:58,704 --> 00:02:03,064
Speaker 3: freshly cut daffodils, and she brunches like she lunches often

33
00:02:03,184 --> 00:02:05,584
Speaker 3: and without ever lowering her eyes to the bottom of

34
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:10,824
Speaker 3: the bill. Maybe you live like that. More likely you don't.

35
00:02:11,704 --> 00:02:14,384
Speaker 3: There's something we don't like to talk about that matters

36
00:02:14,424 --> 00:02:19,544
Speaker 3: more than almost anything when you're mad money, because it's

37
00:02:19,584 --> 00:02:22,304
Speaker 3: a time of life when choices you weren't even aware

38
00:02:22,344 --> 00:02:25,104
Speaker 3: you were making at twenty and thirty can come home

39
00:02:25,344 --> 00:02:28,064
Speaker 3: and build a stinky nest on your shoulder like a

40
00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:33,344
Speaker 3: squawking raven or a sweary parrot, chose a career for love,

41
00:02:33,584 --> 00:02:39,184
Speaker 3: not money. Squawk decided to study another few years. Squawk

42
00:02:39,944 --> 00:02:46,304
Speaker 3: saved travel spent saved travel spent. Squawk got blindsided by

43
00:02:46,344 --> 00:02:50,304
Speaker 3: the call to care for someone you love. Squawk seduced

44
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:53,144
Speaker 3: by the free money promise of a shiny new credit card.

45
00:02:53,624 --> 00:02:56,864
Speaker 3: Squawk didn't push for that pay rise because it's not

46
00:02:56,944 --> 00:03:01,344
Speaker 3: what good girls do. Squawk stopped working to be with

47
00:03:01,384 --> 00:03:04,544
Speaker 3: your little kids and put your financial security in the

48
00:03:04,544 --> 00:03:09,224
Speaker 3: hands of someone you thought you could always trust. Squawk Squawk.

49
00:03:09,504 --> 00:03:16,784
Speaker 3: Squawk worked in a caring profession. Squawk. None of those

50
00:03:16,904 --> 00:03:21,024
Speaker 3: non decisions were wrong. The very idea that there are

51
00:03:21,104 --> 00:03:23,744
Speaker 3: years ahead when times will change and it might be

52
00:03:23,784 --> 00:03:26,824
Speaker 3: harder to get a job, earn money, get yourself out

53
00:03:26,824 --> 00:03:29,984
Speaker 3: of a difficult spot seems like science fiction. When you're

54
00:03:29,984 --> 00:03:33,144
Speaker 3: young and happy to toddle a high wire without even

55
00:03:33,224 --> 00:03:36,544
Speaker 3: asking about a safety net, we don't like to talk

56
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:39,944
Speaker 3: about it because of what happens when you fall. By

57
00:03:40,064 --> 00:03:43,064
Speaker 3: mid we're meant to know what's what, be mature and

58
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:46,504
Speaker 3: careful and planned. We're supposed to see a clear path

59
00:03:46,544 --> 00:03:50,344
Speaker 3: ahead that promises comfort and choice. But We're not immune,

60
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:54,064
Speaker 3: no matter what gen Z tell us daily from the

61
00:03:54,104 --> 00:03:57,344
Speaker 3: pressures and problems of an ever more expensive world as

62
00:03:57,344 --> 00:04:01,664
Speaker 3: our perceived value falls. We have mortgages and rent to make.

63
00:04:02,424 --> 00:04:05,104
Speaker 3: We have families of all ages and stages to feed

64
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:08,184
Speaker 3: and care for, the cost of caring for your parents,

65
00:04:08,184 --> 00:04:11,344
Speaker 3: for yourself when you need it, sales ever higher and taps.

66
00:04:11,344 --> 00:04:14,144
Speaker 3: You're awake at night as you add and subtract and

67
00:04:14,184 --> 00:04:17,984
Speaker 3: shift in your head. For one parent families, those maths

68
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:22,464
Speaker 3: get heavier and more complex. You've heard, I'm sure about

69
00:04:22,464 --> 00:04:25,584
Speaker 3: the fifty something women living in their cars, that it's

70
00:04:25,624 --> 00:04:28,264
Speaker 3: the group of us most likely to find themselves without

71
00:04:28,304 --> 00:04:32,064
Speaker 3: a home. Maybe it's closer for you than a report

72
00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:36,744
Speaker 3: on the news. And then also, we're maybe the first

73
00:04:36,784 --> 00:04:41,144
Speaker 3: generation of women to have earned well on mass, the

74
00:04:41,224 --> 00:04:44,024
Speaker 3: first to have serious choice about this phase of our

75
00:04:44,064 --> 00:04:47,024
Speaker 3: lives to build wealth. We need to thank no one

76
00:04:47,104 --> 00:04:50,584
Speaker 3: for our rebellious generation is all over the place and

77
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,864
Speaker 3: at all the extremes, which is for us pretty standard.

78
00:04:54,704 --> 00:04:57,624
Speaker 3: Perhaps the most goal post shifting thing we can do

79
00:04:57,744 --> 00:05:01,264
Speaker 3: right here is to do what our mothers didn't show

80
00:05:01,304 --> 00:05:08,144
Speaker 3: each other as sweary parrots and talk about money, money, money, Hello,

81
00:05:08,624 --> 00:05:14,264
Speaker 3: I am Holly Wainwright and I am Mid mid Life, Midfamily,

82
00:05:14,584 --> 00:05:18,224
Speaker 3: mid overwhelm. Welcome to our show for gen X women

83
00:05:18,264 --> 00:05:20,904
Speaker 3: who are anything but mid. And I want to say

84
00:05:21,184 --> 00:05:23,344
Speaker 3: that we get quite a lot of messages here at

85
00:05:23,384 --> 00:05:26,704
Speaker 3: mid from people who don't fall into that specific generation

86
00:05:27,304 --> 00:05:30,224
Speaker 3: but love the conversations we're having here, and I want

87
00:05:30,224 --> 00:05:33,464
Speaker 3: to say to you welcome. Mid is a state of mind, friends,

88
00:05:33,744 --> 00:05:36,824
Speaker 3: as well as a very real place. As the generation

89
00:05:37,024 --> 00:05:39,904
Speaker 3: sometimes referred to as the forgotten one between the much

90
00:05:39,944 --> 00:05:43,344
Speaker 3: maligned boomers and millennials. We're always happy when we're noticed

91
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,744
Speaker 3: and people want to sit with us. You can sit

92
00:05:45,864 --> 00:05:49,624
Speaker 3: with us. So take a seat, because today we're talking

93
00:05:49,664 --> 00:05:52,784
Speaker 3: about money with someone who knows as well as many

94
00:05:53,024 --> 00:05:56,824
Speaker 3: that not everyone over thirty or forty is rich. Not

95
00:05:56,864 --> 00:06:00,024
Speaker 3: even everyone who's well known is rich. Not even everyone

96
00:06:00,024 --> 00:06:02,704
Speaker 3: who was in an iconic TV show in the Nordies

97
00:06:02,864 --> 00:06:08,184
Speaker 3: is rich. See where I'm going, Simone. Jade McKinnon was

98
00:06:08,264 --> 00:06:12,864
Speaker 3: and is to many Stevie from McLeod's Daughters. If you're

99
00:06:12,864 --> 00:06:15,744
Speaker 3: not familiar, That show about a family of rural women

100
00:06:15,864 --> 00:06:21,384
Speaker 3: in Australia's telegenic outback was massive in the noughties, and Simone,

101
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,984
Speaker 3: originally from rural Queensland, herself was massive along with it.

102
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:28,904
Speaker 1: I promise I will continue to love you in good

103
00:06:28,944 --> 00:06:33,344
Speaker 1: times and in bad and when I'm.

104
00:06:33,304 --> 00:06:36,864
Speaker 3: Old and pray you will still be the honest woman

105
00:06:36,904 --> 00:06:41,944
Speaker 3: I've ever seen in my life. She joined fresh from

106
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:45,624
Speaker 3: the Baywatch Hawaii cast, with a Hollywood sta fiance on

107
00:06:45,664 --> 00:06:49,584
Speaker 3: her arm and a creative career very well established, and

108
00:06:49,624 --> 00:06:56,224
Speaker 3: then everything changed. Simone and her beautiful son Madigan have

109
00:06:56,304 --> 00:06:58,784
Speaker 3: been living in a caravan and then a shed in

110
00:06:58,824 --> 00:07:01,984
Speaker 3: her family's back paddock for the best part of a decade.

111
00:07:02,424 --> 00:07:06,224
Speaker 3: She's been making Eden's meet with cares, subsidy on jobs

112
00:07:06,264 --> 00:07:09,904
Speaker 3: like Jillaroo, and by starting her own small business which

113
00:07:09,944 --> 00:07:12,904
Speaker 3: has ridden the roller coaster of COVID. Many of you

114
00:07:12,904 --> 00:07:16,264
Speaker 3: will relate. I'm sure when she decided to step out

115
00:07:16,264 --> 00:07:18,144
Speaker 3: of a dark time and back in front of a

116
00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:20,424
Speaker 3: camera to go on a reality show earlier this year,

117
00:07:20,904 --> 00:07:23,904
Speaker 3: it was very clearly with one goal in mind, the

118
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,664
Speaker 3: prize money. You'll hear how that went, and in our

119
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,984
Speaker 3: conversation you'll hear what it was like to be on

120
00:07:29,984 --> 00:07:32,184
Speaker 3: one of the biggest shows in the world and to

121
00:07:32,224 --> 00:07:34,784
Speaker 3: get fired for what you refuse to do in lingerie

122
00:07:34,864 --> 00:07:37,584
Speaker 3: on a beach. You'll hear how she came back from

123
00:07:37,584 --> 00:07:41,024
Speaker 3: crippling panic attacks during a high profile breakup to film

124
00:07:41,064 --> 00:07:45,064
Speaker 3: wedding scenes for our viewing pleasure. And most importantly, you'll

125
00:07:45,104 --> 00:07:48,784
Speaker 3: hear how she's kept moving and dreaming and pushing on

126
00:07:48,904 --> 00:07:51,744
Speaker 3: as she's been parenting her son alone on a very

127
00:07:51,864 --> 00:07:55,344
Speaker 3: minimal income. Simone is famous, but she's not rich, and

128
00:07:55,384 --> 00:07:58,664
Speaker 3: we often assume those things go together. Her story might

129
00:07:58,704 --> 00:08:01,984
Speaker 3: not be yours, but there's plenty of familiar territory here

130
00:08:01,984 --> 00:08:02,744
Speaker 3: for all of us.

131
00:08:02,864 --> 00:08:05,064
Speaker 1: Mids.

132
00:08:06,504 --> 00:08:11,304
Speaker 3: Welcome to Mid's very first conversation about money with Simone

133
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:21,424
Speaker 3: Jade McKinnon. Simone, everyone assumes that well known people are rich, right,

134
00:08:21,824 --> 00:08:24,024
Speaker 3: You've got to face that's familiar from one of the

135
00:08:24,064 --> 00:08:28,384
Speaker 3: most beloved Australian TV shows of all time. But you've

136
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:31,824
Speaker 3: been very open about the fact that you're not rich.

137
00:08:32,064 --> 00:08:34,344
Speaker 3: Is it a strange disconnect that people are like, there's

138
00:08:34,344 --> 00:08:36,944
Speaker 3: that famous lady, she must have it all sorted out.

139
00:08:37,664 --> 00:08:39,704
Speaker 1: Uh. Yeah, you know, I think a lot of people,

140
00:08:40,584 --> 00:08:42,224
Speaker 1: not just because I'm a single mummy, that I think

141
00:08:42,224 --> 00:08:45,344
Speaker 1: a lot of people think actors in general because they

142
00:08:45,384 --> 00:08:48,064
Speaker 1: see the American actors, so they think Aussie actors are

143
00:08:48,064 --> 00:08:50,744
Speaker 1: on the same pay. We get the same kind of

144
00:08:51,424 --> 00:08:55,664
Speaker 1: residuals that other people maybe in America get, But yeah,

145
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:58,304
Speaker 1: you know, once you're done and dusted on a show here,

146
00:08:58,424 --> 00:09:01,584
Speaker 1: there is some residuals that trickle feed, but if you

147
00:09:01,744 --> 00:09:05,264
Speaker 1: haven't worked for as long as I haven't worked, then

148
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:10,624
Speaker 1: they're used up very quickly. And I guess it does

149
00:09:10,664 --> 00:09:13,744
Speaker 1: shock people that we're not like America, that we can't

150
00:09:13,864 --> 00:09:17,224
Speaker 1: live off one show as great as McLeod's was. We

151
00:09:17,344 --> 00:09:18,504
Speaker 1: just don't get paid that much.

152
00:09:19,624 --> 00:09:21,784
Speaker 3: You mean you weren't quite the Friends cast, is what

153
00:09:21,824 --> 00:09:22,344
Speaker 3: you're saying.

154
00:09:22,664 --> 00:09:25,944
Speaker 1: It was not even quos to what those guys got

155
00:09:25,984 --> 00:09:29,784
Speaker 1: for half an hour work. Yeah, no, we're just nothing

156
00:09:29,864 --> 00:09:33,624
Speaker 1: like that. So I think people they assume that it's

157
00:09:33,664 --> 00:09:35,904
Speaker 1: the same as America, but I think they'd be really

158
00:09:35,984 --> 00:09:38,104
Speaker 1: shocked to know what we get paid compared to what

159
00:09:38,184 --> 00:09:41,704
Speaker 1: they get paid. And that's why once you gig ins

160
00:09:42,224 --> 00:09:42,584
Speaker 1: it ends.

161
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,104
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is why I mean, actors always very honestly

162
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:47,864
Speaker 3: talk about leaving from job to job and that it

163
00:09:47,984 --> 00:09:50,664
Speaker 3: isn't as glamorous as it all appears. But I think

164
00:09:50,704 --> 00:09:53,064
Speaker 3: people still kind of imagine that they've got it all

165
00:09:53,104 --> 00:09:55,344
Speaker 3: sorted out. Tell me a bit about what your real life,

166
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:58,264
Speaker 3: as I always like to call life away from work,

167
00:09:58,304 --> 00:10:00,304
Speaker 3: Tell me a bit about what your real life looks

168
00:10:00,384 --> 00:10:00,904
Speaker 3: like now.

169
00:10:01,624 --> 00:10:06,384
Speaker 1: My real life now is definitely different to any other lives.

170
00:10:06,384 --> 00:10:08,384
Speaker 1: I feel like I've had lots of lives. They were

171
00:10:08,384 --> 00:10:10,784
Speaker 1: with the dancer life, there was an actor life, there's

172
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:13,384
Speaker 1: a single mum life, and now there's this kind of

173
00:10:13,384 --> 00:10:17,544
Speaker 1: small business life. And the small business life is hard.

174
00:10:17,624 --> 00:10:21,824
Speaker 1: So I'm in a caravan and a shed, and I've

175
00:10:21,824 --> 00:10:26,024
Speaker 1: been in a caravan since twenty sixteen and I was

176
00:10:26,064 --> 00:10:31,664
Speaker 1: solidly in that caravan until end of twenty and nineteen

177
00:10:31,704 --> 00:10:34,904
Speaker 1: when the shed was finally built and wicked kind of

178
00:10:34,944 --> 00:10:36,064
Speaker 1: spread out a little bit.

179
00:10:36,384 --> 00:10:38,304
Speaker 3: And is this on a property? And I know you

180
00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:40,624
Speaker 3: live in northern New well mid northern New South Wales.

181
00:10:40,704 --> 00:10:42,984
Speaker 3: So is your shed in your caravan on a property.

182
00:10:43,264 --> 00:10:48,064
Speaker 1: Yes, so it's on our old family land, which so

183
00:10:48,184 --> 00:10:50,864
Speaker 1: I sold up. I did have. I had enough money

184
00:10:50,864 --> 00:10:52,984
Speaker 1: to buy myself a nice little house, and so when

185
00:10:52,984 --> 00:10:56,984
Speaker 1: Madigan was born, I relocated from South Australia to Coffs

186
00:10:56,984 --> 00:10:59,704
Speaker 1: Harbor to Bean your family being a single mum I

187
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,464
Speaker 1: knew that I needed help, and so it did. Like

188
00:11:02,504 --> 00:11:06,144
Speaker 1: I had a nice house back then because of thanks

189
00:11:06,184 --> 00:11:08,544
Speaker 1: to Mcloud's for the years of work I put that

190
00:11:08,664 --> 00:11:12,264
Speaker 1: into there. But I realized after six years in that

191
00:11:12,384 --> 00:11:14,384
Speaker 1: house that I wasn't going to be able to stay.

192
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,504
Speaker 1: So that's why I sold up. And I wanted to

193
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:20,984
Speaker 1: do this bucket list dream, which was the round Oz

194
00:11:21,304 --> 00:11:22,184
Speaker 1: run the lab.

195
00:11:22,664 --> 00:11:27,064
Speaker 3: So you and your son together doing like around Australia

196
00:11:27,424 --> 00:11:31,824
Speaker 3: sort of odyssey in your caravan. Right, Yeah, well I didn't.

197
00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:34,424
Speaker 1: I wasn't in the acting world, you know. I thought

198
00:11:34,424 --> 00:11:37,224
Speaker 1: I was nailing it as a single mum loving it.

199
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:39,344
Speaker 1: Madigan was about to start school and I was like,

200
00:11:39,624 --> 00:11:44,184
Speaker 1: this is the perfect time to do it. I'll sell up.

201
00:11:44,584 --> 00:11:46,944
Speaker 1: I didn't need that big house that I had. I

202
00:11:47,104 --> 00:11:50,904
Speaker 1: realized that wasn't it for me. I would rather the

203
00:11:50,984 --> 00:11:53,824
Speaker 1: adventure than the things. It was great for that first

204
00:11:53,864 --> 00:11:57,704
Speaker 1: six years, you know, a great home base. Madigan's first

205
00:11:57,744 --> 00:12:00,664
Speaker 1: memories were in this amazing old Queenslander and you know

206
00:12:00,744 --> 00:12:01,304
Speaker 1: it was lucky.

207
00:12:01,944 --> 00:12:05,984
Speaker 3: You've always leant towards adventure a bit and travel, Yeah.

208
00:12:05,664 --> 00:12:09,504
Speaker 1: I do. My parents traveled with me from I was

209
00:12:09,544 --> 00:12:12,064
Speaker 1: two and a half in Mount Isa, my sister was born,

210
00:12:12,224 --> 00:12:14,024
Speaker 1: and then when she was six months, I was two

211
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,184
Speaker 1: and a half. They hit the road in a little

212
00:12:16,224 --> 00:12:20,504
Speaker 1: tiny caravan. So my first memories, I don't remember Mount iSER,

213
00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:24,624
Speaker 1: but my first memories were in a van. It's two

214
00:12:24,624 --> 00:12:26,744
Speaker 1: and a half years. So by the time I went

215
00:12:26,784 --> 00:12:29,824
Speaker 1: into kindy, that's when we stopped. So I always say

216
00:12:29,864 --> 00:12:33,224
Speaker 1: that it was those guys that put the sort of gypsy.

217
00:12:33,744 --> 00:12:36,584
Speaker 1: They gave me the wanderlusty. It just has been that way.

218
00:12:36,624 --> 00:12:39,184
Speaker 1: And then I went into two different careers, you know,

219
00:12:39,464 --> 00:12:42,544
Speaker 1: my dancing career that again you're just on the move.

220
00:12:42,664 --> 00:12:43,784
Speaker 1: I was out of home at sixteen.

221
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,504
Speaker 3: You were a ballet dancer, is that right?

222
00:12:45,824 --> 00:12:49,304
Speaker 1: I was, so I auditioned and then I actually ran

223
00:12:49,344 --> 00:12:52,304
Speaker 1: away kind of from the ballets to the Gold Coast.

224
00:12:52,744 --> 00:12:54,584
Speaker 1: But I was still under eighteen at that point, so

225
00:12:54,664 --> 00:12:57,664
Speaker 1: my mum and dad came and took me and brought

226
00:12:57,704 --> 00:13:00,824
Speaker 1: me back home to Coughs. And you know, I wasn't eighteen,

227
00:13:00,904 --> 00:13:03,864
Speaker 1: so I wasn't allowed to do anything until then anyway,

228
00:13:03,904 --> 00:13:05,824
Speaker 1: so I had to sit around. But in that time,

229
00:13:06,304 --> 00:13:08,744
Speaker 1: dance Encore gets a hold of me and says, guess

230
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:11,464
Speaker 1: what we would love to have you We know you're

231
00:13:11,464 --> 00:13:14,104
Speaker 1: not turning eighteen till March, but we can put you

232
00:13:14,144 --> 00:13:17,224
Speaker 1: in rehearsals in February and the beginning of March, and

233
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,864
Speaker 1: you can be on a plane to Japan the day

234
00:13:19,904 --> 00:13:21,144
Speaker 1: after your eighteenth birthday.

235
00:13:21,304 --> 00:13:23,424
Speaker 3: The adventure begins, I know.

236
00:13:23,504 --> 00:13:25,304
Speaker 1: But then I had to convince Mom and Dad are like,

237
00:13:25,344 --> 00:13:28,424
Speaker 1: come on, this is it? Like, because I was still

238
00:13:28,664 --> 00:13:30,984
Speaker 1: that means I was going to be seventeen in Sydney

239
00:13:31,584 --> 00:13:34,104
Speaker 1: while myself and I'd just run away, you know, up

240
00:13:34,144 --> 00:13:34,784
Speaker 1: the coast.

241
00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:37,024
Speaker 3: Did they let you do it? I assumed they did.

242
00:13:37,224 --> 00:13:41,664
Speaker 1: Yeah. I somehow convinced them that it was what I wanted.

243
00:13:41,784 --> 00:13:45,184
Speaker 1: And you know, I'm not going to ruin a job opportunity.

244
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,624
Speaker 1: It's different. I felt it would be different if I

245
00:13:47,704 --> 00:13:49,864
Speaker 1: was going to be paid, you know, I'd be accountable,

246
00:13:49,904 --> 00:13:54,064
Speaker 1: I'd be responsible. And I was like, I have never worked.

247
00:13:54,504 --> 00:13:59,864
Speaker 1: That company taught me determination and discipline way more than

248
00:13:59,904 --> 00:14:03,664
Speaker 1: the ballet school did. Like, I really learned to work

249
00:14:03,784 --> 00:14:07,024
Speaker 1: my ass off in that company. And I worked for

250
00:14:07,064 --> 00:14:09,144
Speaker 1: them for two years, back and forth to Japan. And

251
00:14:09,304 --> 00:14:09,664
Speaker 1: it was a.

252
00:14:11,224 --> 00:14:14,104
Speaker 3: It sounds like an incredible adventure for a young woman.

253
00:14:14,664 --> 00:14:17,264
Speaker 1: It was, and you know it was not the dancing

254
00:14:17,344 --> 00:14:20,944
Speaker 1: that I had in my head as a kid, but

255
00:14:21,104 --> 00:14:23,344
Speaker 1: it was just it was a great adventure, and like

256
00:14:23,344 --> 00:14:25,624
Speaker 1: I said, it just taught me so much. And then

257
00:14:25,624 --> 00:14:27,504
Speaker 1: I came back and then I ended up doing Cats.

258
00:14:27,584 --> 00:14:30,184
Speaker 1: I auditioned for Cats, and then I felt like more

259
00:14:30,224 --> 00:14:34,184
Speaker 1: of a proper dancer. But I loved both just the same.

260
00:14:34,744 --> 00:14:36,984
Speaker 3: Just thinking about when, I mean, we're gonna obviously get

261
00:14:37,024 --> 00:14:41,264
Speaker 3: to all this later, but when you choose a creative career,

262
00:14:41,744 --> 00:14:43,744
Speaker 3: very few of us who choose creative careers of all

263
00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:47,024
Speaker 3: different kinds and necessarily driven by money. You know, if

264
00:14:47,064 --> 00:14:50,904
Speaker 3: you were driven by money and the idea of stability,

265
00:14:51,664 --> 00:14:57,984
Speaker 3: steady paychecks, regular increases, investment portfolios and stuff like, it's

266
00:14:58,024 --> 00:15:01,464
Speaker 3: the wrong career to choose, let's be honest, right. But

267
00:15:01,904 --> 00:15:03,544
Speaker 3: one of the things when I talked to lots of

268
00:15:03,544 --> 00:15:06,104
Speaker 3: midlife women now who sort of have realized later in

269
00:15:06,144 --> 00:15:09,664
Speaker 3: life sometimes that, oh, like financial independence is so important.

270
00:15:10,584 --> 00:15:12,464
Speaker 3: Did you ever think about that kind of stuff or

271
00:15:12,504 --> 00:15:14,944
Speaker 3: were you always chasing the adventure and the experience and

272
00:15:14,984 --> 00:15:16,504
Speaker 3: the creativity.

273
00:15:16,264 --> 00:15:20,144
Speaker 1: Always chasing the adventure. I definitely didn't think about that.

274
00:15:20,224 --> 00:15:22,824
Speaker 1: I'm not like a material kind of girl. I don't

275
00:15:22,864 --> 00:15:25,504
Speaker 1: think I have been. I think that's probably come from

276
00:15:25,504 --> 00:15:27,184
Speaker 1: my parents. They're not like that. Well, we never had

277
00:15:27,224 --> 00:15:29,424
Speaker 1: money to be like that, so you know, you kind

278
00:15:29,424 --> 00:15:32,464
Speaker 1: of forced to be that way. And no, I didn't.

279
00:15:32,544 --> 00:15:35,744
Speaker 1: I just lived and I would work whatever other jobs

280
00:15:35,984 --> 00:15:38,344
Speaker 1: I had to to keep afloat so I could keep

281
00:15:38,384 --> 00:15:41,464
Speaker 1: that dream alive. So you know, I would wait tables.

282
00:15:41,744 --> 00:15:43,904
Speaker 1: I mean that's the main thing when you're a dancer.

283
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,264
Speaker 1: You learn how to wait tables, make coffee, do all

284
00:15:46,264 --> 00:15:49,304
Speaker 1: of that. But then when I did get like Cats,

285
00:15:49,344 --> 00:15:52,544
Speaker 1: I thought Cats was the best thing. Now we got

286
00:15:53,184 --> 00:15:55,184
Speaker 1: seven hundred dollars a.

287
00:15:55,224 --> 00:15:58,384
Speaker 3: Week, yeah, you would have been like, I'm rich.

288
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:01,424
Speaker 1: So rich, and then you also got your per diem

289
00:16:01,624 --> 00:16:05,504
Speaker 1: and you're staying in these hotels all around. Well we

290
00:16:05,584 --> 00:16:09,544
Speaker 1: did Asia, and then all of Australia's saying, in great accommodation,

291
00:16:09,624 --> 00:16:11,904
Speaker 1: you're getting this. You can live off the per diem

292
00:16:11,944 --> 00:16:15,784
Speaker 1: if you're smart, which I did, and so I felt like, yeah,

293
00:16:15,784 --> 00:16:17,944
Speaker 1: I felt like I was winning at that point in

294
00:16:18,104 --> 00:16:21,664
Speaker 1: my seven hundred dollars a week. But then after Cats,

295
00:16:21,704 --> 00:16:25,464
Speaker 1: I somehow sort of fell into acting, and then money

296
00:16:25,544 --> 00:16:29,904
Speaker 1: kind of did become slightly more appealing because it blew

297
00:16:30,704 --> 00:16:33,664
Speaker 1: like a whole week of really really hard work, eight

298
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:37,624
Speaker 1: shows a week, three hour shows. You know, that's a

299
00:16:37,624 --> 00:16:41,744
Speaker 1: lot plus rehearsals, all for your seven hundred bucks. But

300
00:16:41,784 --> 00:16:44,704
Speaker 1: then you go and do a TV commercial and you're

301
00:16:44,744 --> 00:16:46,984
Speaker 1: there for two hours and you get six grand. It

302
00:16:47,184 --> 00:16:51,064
Speaker 1: sort of acting opened my eyes, and probably, if I'm

303
00:16:51,104 --> 00:16:54,624
Speaker 1: being really honest and truthful, I would say money certainly

304
00:16:55,104 --> 00:16:56,984
Speaker 1: swayed me into the acting world.

305
00:16:57,544 --> 00:17:00,144
Speaker 3: I mean, obviously your life to lots of turns, but

306
00:17:00,224 --> 00:17:03,864
Speaker 3: when you were sort of in a Hollywood adjacent period,

307
00:17:03,904 --> 00:17:05,504
Speaker 3: did you have your head turned that? You know how

308
00:17:05,504 --> 00:17:08,464
Speaker 3: you were saying before, I've never been a materialistic person,

309
00:17:08,504 --> 00:17:10,904
Speaker 3: and that's obvious that your values are not that right,

310
00:17:10,944 --> 00:17:12,944
Speaker 3: it's obvious and the choices you've made, the way you

311
00:17:12,984 --> 00:17:15,424
Speaker 3: live your life. Did you have your head turned when

312
00:17:15,464 --> 00:17:18,944
Speaker 3: you were almost adjacent to that kind of big, glitzy world.

313
00:17:18,944 --> 00:17:21,904
Speaker 3: Did it seem attractive then? Were you seduced by it

314
00:17:21,944 --> 00:17:22,264
Speaker 3: at all?

315
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:23,184
Speaker 1: In America?

316
00:17:23,344 --> 00:17:23,904
Speaker 3: Yeah?

317
00:17:24,104 --> 00:17:28,424
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Look, so my first proper acting job, you know,

318
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,904
Speaker 1: I did twenty three TV commercials from a dancer. I

319
00:17:32,024 --> 00:17:35,664
Speaker 1: was taking some time off and I had an agent

320
00:17:35,784 --> 00:17:38,504
Speaker 1: and I said to that agent, you know, I need

321
00:17:38,504 --> 00:17:40,304
Speaker 1: a break, and she called like in a week in

322
00:17:40,384 --> 00:17:42,024
Speaker 1: and said, hey, I've got an audition for you. And

323
00:17:42,024 --> 00:17:43,344
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I need a rest, and she's like, no,

324
00:17:43,424 --> 00:17:46,424
Speaker 1: it's an acting job. You just got to look longingly

325
00:17:46,584 --> 00:17:49,104
Speaker 1: at a chip, like it's a KFC. You just got

326
00:17:49,144 --> 00:17:50,584
Speaker 1: to look at a chip. And I was like, no,

327
00:17:50,664 --> 00:17:52,224
Speaker 1: I'm not an actor and she's like, you just pretended

328
00:17:52,224 --> 00:17:53,584
Speaker 1: to be a cap for two years. Yes you are.

329
00:17:54,784 --> 00:17:57,344
Speaker 1: And it pays two grand. And I was like two

330
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,584
Speaker 1: grand for how long? They're like two grand for maybe

331
00:17:59,584 --> 00:18:02,064
Speaker 1: half a day if you're there that long. Anyway, I

332
00:18:02,104 --> 00:18:04,304
Speaker 1: was like, okay, I'll do that. So I did all

333
00:18:04,304 --> 00:18:09,104
Speaker 1: these TV commercials and they paid really really well. I

334
00:18:09,104 --> 00:18:12,064
Speaker 1: did them for probably three years. But then anyway, Baywatch

335
00:18:12,704 --> 00:18:15,944
Speaker 1: came to town and it was my first I've done

336
00:18:15,984 --> 00:18:19,344
Speaker 1: sort of a couple of little roles. I think i'd

337
00:18:19,864 --> 00:18:22,864
Speaker 1: done water at anyway, a couple of little roles, sort

338
00:18:22,904 --> 00:18:27,584
Speaker 1: of one liners, not real scenes as such. Anyway, bay

339
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:31,024
Speaker 1: Watch came to town. I auditioned. That's the whole nother story.

340
00:18:31,584 --> 00:18:33,504
Speaker 1: They watching me was just bizarre.

341
00:18:33,784 --> 00:18:36,304
Speaker 3: But what a thing, Like what a thing to come

342
00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:38,944
Speaker 3: to town? You know, when you're I don't know if

343
00:18:38,944 --> 00:18:40,504
Speaker 3: you relate to this or not, but you know we're

344
00:18:40,504 --> 00:18:43,064
Speaker 3: similar ages. Now you look back at life and you

345
00:18:43,144 --> 00:18:47,184
Speaker 3: go that decision, that job, that relationship, that moment. Like

346
00:18:47,224 --> 00:18:50,064
Speaker 3: the things that change your path, you can see them

347
00:18:50,184 --> 00:18:53,984
Speaker 3: very clearly from where we're sitting now, right, and that

348
00:18:54,024 --> 00:18:55,624
Speaker 3: obviously was one of those moments.

349
00:18:56,304 --> 00:19:01,064
Speaker 1: Baywatch definitely changed the path that first audition. You know,

350
00:19:01,144 --> 00:19:04,344
Speaker 1: I went in there. I was doing my TV commercials,

351
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:07,064
Speaker 1: but I was mainly working in the restaurants at that

352
00:19:07,144 --> 00:19:09,104
Speaker 1: point in time, and you know, a bit of a

353
00:19:09,184 --> 00:19:12,984
Speaker 1: night our partying. So I was lily white, short red hair.

354
00:19:13,664 --> 00:19:14,904
Speaker 1: My agent's like, you're going to go in for this

355
00:19:14,944 --> 00:19:18,904
Speaker 1: bay Watch audition. I was like, are you mental? Like no, no,

356
00:19:19,864 --> 00:19:23,064
Speaker 1: and well I agreed, and then sure enough I get there. Everyone's,

357
00:19:23,424 --> 00:19:27,024
Speaker 1: you know, either blonde like the Kimberly Yes.

358
00:19:26,984 --> 00:19:29,744
Speaker 3: Kimberly Davis is that what she was called as well?

359
00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:30,504
Speaker 1: The two of them?

360
00:19:31,184 --> 00:19:34,424
Speaker 3: Yeah, And that was very much an aesthetic at that time.

361
00:19:35,024 --> 00:19:38,184
Speaker 3: There was like a Pamea Anderson obviously the baby Watch connection,

362
00:19:38,224 --> 00:19:40,744
Speaker 3: but a very blonde, beautiful, curvy.

363
00:19:40,584 --> 00:19:44,624
Speaker 1: Definitely long haired, definitely beach babe, beach board all of that.

364
00:19:44,904 --> 00:19:50,104
Speaker 1: And then there was me but for whatever reason. You

365
00:19:50,144 --> 00:19:52,584
Speaker 1: know that Alexandra Paul who had been on the show

366
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:54,824
Speaker 1: prior the short hair, she was a bit bomboyish, you know,

367
00:19:54,864 --> 00:19:57,824
Speaker 1: she was the different one she had left the show.

368
00:19:57,984 --> 00:20:01,144
Speaker 1: So that's I guess how I got my start because

369
00:20:01,184 --> 00:20:03,224
Speaker 1: they were looking for something just different.

370
00:20:03,424 --> 00:20:03,664
Speaker 3: Yeah.

371
00:20:03,784 --> 00:20:07,384
Speaker 1: No, so they was definitely put me on a different path.

372
00:20:07,544 --> 00:20:10,944
Speaker 1: And when I got to Hawaii, they gave us a vertible.

373
00:20:11,024 --> 00:20:14,144
Speaker 1: I was at the Hilton Hawaiian Village with one hundred

374
00:20:14,184 --> 00:20:18,864
Speaker 1: and eighty k Waikiki Beach views. You go into the

375
00:20:18,864 --> 00:20:22,024
Speaker 1: best parties, you people are giving you clothes, so you

376
00:20:22,144 --> 00:20:26,584
Speaker 1: do get a little bit carried away with that kind

377
00:20:26,624 --> 00:20:28,744
Speaker 1: of life, Like it was so new, it was so different.

378
00:20:28,784 --> 00:20:30,664
Speaker 1: So I went from my seven hundred dollars as well,

379
00:20:30,864 --> 00:20:33,024
Speaker 1: you know, as a dancer and the commercials that paid

380
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:35,904
Speaker 1: well to Now this was minimum, but it was three

381
00:20:36,024 --> 00:20:40,344
Speaker 1: grand US in ninety nine and your PERDM and your

382
00:20:40,344 --> 00:20:44,464
Speaker 1: accommodation again, so that was huge. Our dollar was so

383
00:20:45,224 --> 00:20:48,784
Speaker 1: weak at that point, so my three grand American was

384
00:20:48,944 --> 00:20:51,064
Speaker 1: massive money to me. Massive.

385
00:20:51,544 --> 00:20:53,224
Speaker 3: So there are times in your life where you're like,

386
00:20:53,664 --> 00:20:56,424
Speaker 3: I'm nailing it And was that one? Did you love it?

387
00:20:56,464 --> 00:21:00,024
Speaker 3: Did you love all that, the parties, the convertible, the glamour.

388
00:21:00,184 --> 00:21:02,464
Speaker 3: Was that very exciting or did you quickly kind of

389
00:21:02,504 --> 00:21:03,304
Speaker 3: go I don't know.

390
00:21:04,544 --> 00:21:11,784
Speaker 1: Yeah, both. I loved all of it. With Baywatch, Come Baywatch,

391
00:21:12,384 --> 00:21:15,104
Speaker 1: you know, and the stigma that's around a show like that,

392
00:21:15,104 --> 00:21:17,224
Speaker 1: that acting wasn't good. I mean, I learned so much,

393
00:21:17,264 --> 00:21:19,904
Speaker 1: so I would never ever slam it for that because

394
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:24,104
Speaker 1: it taught me all the things about camera angles and

395
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:28,864
Speaker 1: sizes and lighting and just learning lines. You know, I

396
00:21:28,904 --> 00:21:31,824
Speaker 1: hadn't really done that before, so you know, it taught

397
00:21:31,864 --> 00:21:34,224
Speaker 1: me a lot. But then there's also the other side

398
00:21:34,224 --> 00:21:35,984
Speaker 1: of Baywatch, which was the weight.

399
00:21:36,704 --> 00:21:38,264
Speaker 3: Yeah. I was going to say, what was it like

400
00:21:38,344 --> 00:21:40,344
Speaker 3: being in your cozi all the time? Did you feel

401
00:21:40,464 --> 00:21:42,584
Speaker 3: pressure around other women?

402
00:21:43,424 --> 00:21:45,704
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. And because the girls out there

403
00:21:45,744 --> 00:21:49,144
Speaker 1: were absolutely extraordinary. I went in there the smallest I've

404
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:51,304
Speaker 1: ever been. I think I was weighing in it. This

405
00:21:51,424 --> 00:21:55,784
Speaker 1: is horrible, forty five kilo and I'm five seven when

406
00:21:55,864 --> 00:21:58,264
Speaker 1: I first got there, because I was so paranoid before

407
00:21:58,344 --> 00:22:03,384
Speaker 1: I went that, I just trained like nothing else and

408
00:22:03,424 --> 00:22:06,304
Speaker 1: all I ate was protein and I stripped down and

409
00:22:06,344 --> 00:22:08,384
Speaker 1: I thought I was looking okay, But I look back

410
00:22:08,384 --> 00:22:10,984
Speaker 1: at those first few episodes of Baiwo and I'm like

411
00:22:11,504 --> 00:22:14,184
Speaker 1: so thin, like I couldn't see it in real life,

412
00:22:14,184 --> 00:22:17,824
Speaker 1: but when I watched it back, it was also though.

413
00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:23,224
Speaker 3: That nineties esthetic was tiny, right like sometimes when you look,

414
00:22:23,704 --> 00:22:26,024
Speaker 3: but I mean, and I was watching TV at that

415
00:22:26,064 --> 00:22:29,224
Speaker 3: time and very much immersed in that. It definitely, as

416
00:22:29,224 --> 00:22:30,824
Speaker 3: I say, seems to have been a time when we

417
00:22:30,944 --> 00:22:33,824
Speaker 3: decided that women needed to be absolutely tiny in that.

418
00:22:33,864 --> 00:22:36,584
Speaker 3: With that, so you're in Hawaii, you're getting paid money

419
00:22:36,624 --> 00:22:38,904
Speaker 3: that to you is like wow, and living the life.

420
00:22:39,144 --> 00:22:40,704
Speaker 3: There's a lot of shit that comes along with it,

421
00:22:40,744 --> 00:22:44,304
Speaker 3: like you're not allowed to eat, but you're going to

422
00:22:44,344 --> 00:22:46,624
Speaker 3: all the parties, you're meeting Hollywood stars and all the

423
00:22:46,624 --> 00:22:47,104
Speaker 3: rest of it.

424
00:22:47,904 --> 00:22:50,864
Speaker 1: Then what happens, Well, look, I realized that all of

425
00:22:50,904 --> 00:22:54,144
Speaker 1: that stuff wasn't really important, and you know, I got

426
00:22:54,144 --> 00:22:57,304
Speaker 1: fired in the middle of Baywatch. So sorry. I know

427
00:22:57,304 --> 00:22:58,624
Speaker 1: we said we weren't going to go down the PA

428
00:22:59,624 --> 00:23:01,424
Speaker 1: that's fine, but I didn't fired in the middle of

429
00:23:01,464 --> 00:23:04,104
Speaker 1: it because I refused to do a photo shoot that

430
00:23:04,864 --> 00:23:06,864
Speaker 1: I just didn't think it was. I'd already done so

431
00:23:06,944 --> 00:23:09,824
Speaker 1: much publicity for them, and I used up my quota

432
00:23:09,864 --> 00:23:11,464
Speaker 1: and I just foot down anyway.

433
00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:13,464
Speaker 3: What kind of photo shoot did they want you to do?

434
00:23:14,024 --> 00:23:16,784
Speaker 1: Look, it was for one of the men's magazines.

435
00:23:16,384 --> 00:23:19,024
Speaker 3: Which are massive then, like just for like I'm sure

436
00:23:19,024 --> 00:23:21,944
Speaker 3: our listers will remember because they're grown ups, but those

437
00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:26,024
Speaker 3: men's mags were huge at that time, right, huge.

438
00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:28,304
Speaker 1: And especially for Baywatch, Like there was going to be

439
00:23:28,344 --> 00:23:31,744
Speaker 1: a cover. I think it was Maxim And I was

440
00:23:31,784 --> 00:23:34,024
Speaker 1: really excited at first because I was like, Oh, that's cool.

441
00:23:34,224 --> 00:23:36,744
Speaker 1: But then I had in my head, Okay, we'll do

442
00:23:36,784 --> 00:23:38,824
Speaker 1: a black and white shoot. It'll be with shears in

443
00:23:38,864 --> 00:23:41,064
Speaker 1: a hotel room. Maybe there'll be a cigarette, a little

444
00:23:41,064 --> 00:23:44,624
Speaker 1: bit suspenders, Like I'll make it. This could be amazing.

445
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:45,504
Speaker 3: Sexy but tasteful.

446
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:48,824
Speaker 1: You're thinking super tasteful but super sexy. I was like,

447
00:23:48,864 --> 00:23:52,384
Speaker 1: this would be nice, and I'm like, no, no, it's lingerie.

448
00:23:52,464 --> 00:23:53,904
Speaker 1: But you'll be on the beach with the girls. It's

449
00:23:53,904 --> 00:23:55,864
Speaker 1: a bit of a girl on girl. You know. Actually,

450
00:23:56,304 --> 00:23:58,784
Speaker 1: I've got nothing against that at all, and I certainly

451
00:23:58,864 --> 00:24:02,224
Speaker 1: had nothing against my co stars, but I was just

452
00:24:02,264 --> 00:24:04,944
Speaker 1: done with all of that. Like, you know, we had

453
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:09,744
Speaker 1: to go to football games and basketball games in our swimsuits,

454
00:24:09,744 --> 00:24:11,584
Speaker 1: so that could be in the middle you know of

455
00:24:11,624 --> 00:24:13,864
Speaker 1: the night, eight o'clock at night and there we were

456
00:24:14,384 --> 00:24:15,184
Speaker 1: in the middle going.

457
00:24:15,504 --> 00:24:20,744
Speaker 3: So they kind of treated the Baywatch actresses like models,

458
00:24:20,824 --> 00:24:24,904
Speaker 3: cheerleadre's what do you call them, promo girls like yeah,

459
00:24:24,944 --> 00:24:26,864
Speaker 3: which there's nothing wrong with that as a way to

460
00:24:26,864 --> 00:24:28,544
Speaker 3: make a living, but that's not what you thought you

461
00:24:28,584 --> 00:24:28,984
Speaker 3: were doing.

462
00:24:29,584 --> 00:24:32,224
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just thinking, you know, I wanted to

463
00:24:32,224 --> 00:24:35,424
Speaker 1: be taken what as serious as you could be taken

464
00:24:35,464 --> 00:24:39,464
Speaker 1: on bait Watch and that sort of thing, especially when

465
00:24:39,464 --> 00:24:43,144
Speaker 1: I'd done what my contract had already, you know, I'd

466
00:24:43,144 --> 00:24:46,464
Speaker 1: done my quota. I didn't want to be doing any

467
00:24:46,464 --> 00:24:49,704
Speaker 1: more of those, and so I just stood my ground and.

468
00:24:50,144 --> 00:24:51,064
Speaker 3: It didn't go down.

469
00:24:51,104 --> 00:24:55,744
Speaker 1: Well, it's just backfired. But I'm so stubborn. I'm so stubborn.

470
00:24:55,984 --> 00:24:58,224
Speaker 1: They were like, they called me in and they said

471
00:24:58,384 --> 00:24:59,824
Speaker 1: you have to do it, and I said, I'll be

472
00:24:59,824 --> 00:25:01,984
Speaker 1: as sexy as you like, but please, can we do

473
00:25:02,064 --> 00:25:03,784
Speaker 1: it like in a hotel. I don't want to do

474
00:25:03,824 --> 00:25:05,664
Speaker 1: the girl on girl. I don't want to do that,

475
00:25:05,704 --> 00:25:06,704
Speaker 1: and I don't want to do it on beach, and

476
00:25:06,744 --> 00:25:09,344
Speaker 1: don't want to do it in like underwear on a beach,

477
00:25:09,384 --> 00:25:12,704
Speaker 1: wet lingerie on a beach. So's yuck. And they were like, no,

478
00:25:12,904 --> 00:25:14,504
Speaker 1: this is what you're doing. And I said, well, I'm

479
00:25:14,544 --> 00:25:16,944
Speaker 1: not so and they said, okay, we we're sending you home.

480
00:25:16,984 --> 00:25:17,464
Speaker 1: You're fired.

481
00:25:20,864 --> 00:25:28,984
Speaker 3: More of my conversation with Simone after this shortbreak, so again,

482
00:25:29,104 --> 00:25:30,864
Speaker 3: we could be here all day. Because your life is

483
00:25:30,984 --> 00:25:35,504
Speaker 3: very interesting. So you've got this level of success. You know,

484
00:25:35,584 --> 00:25:39,144
Speaker 3: you're going in Hollywood movies, you had a famous boyfriend

485
00:25:39,144 --> 00:25:42,264
Speaker 3: at this time. Then you do come back to Australia

486
00:25:42,304 --> 00:25:44,504
Speaker 3: and you're on Mcloud's Daughters, which is one, as I

487
00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:47,064
Speaker 3: said before, it's in the cannon of one of the

488
00:25:47,064 --> 00:25:49,224
Speaker 3: most loved Aussie TV shows ever.

489
00:25:49,424 --> 00:25:50,184
Speaker 1: Right for sure.

490
00:25:50,584 --> 00:25:53,384
Speaker 3: Was it amazing to be on it at the time.

491
00:25:53,624 --> 00:25:58,264
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I mean I definitely had moments in la and

492
00:25:58,504 --> 00:26:01,944
Speaker 1: in America where I felt like, especially that movie in Lithuania,

493
00:26:02,024 --> 00:26:05,224
Speaker 1: I felt like, oh, I'm a proper actress now. But

494
00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:06,944
Speaker 1: then I did some big grade movies too that made

495
00:26:06,944 --> 00:26:11,944
Speaker 1: me go okay. But then when I came back to McLeod's,

496
00:26:11,984 --> 00:26:13,904
Speaker 1: you know, i'd never seen the show because I'd been

497
00:26:13,904 --> 00:26:17,464
Speaker 1: in America, and they flew me back for the second audition.

498
00:26:17,544 --> 00:26:19,344
Speaker 1: So I did a self tape in America and the

499
00:26:19,384 --> 00:26:22,224
Speaker 1: second audition was back here in Australia, and they gave

500
00:26:22,304 --> 00:26:25,024
Speaker 1: me six or seven episodes to watch in the hotel

501
00:26:25,144 --> 00:26:28,624
Speaker 1: before I was to do this, and I was like, oh, no,

502
00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:32,664
Speaker 1: these guys are amazing, like amazing, amazing. How am I

503
00:26:32,664 --> 00:26:34,704
Speaker 1: going to do this? Like I'm not a trained actor.

504
00:26:34,784 --> 00:26:36,944
Speaker 1: I looked at a chip once and then next thing

505
00:26:36,984 --> 00:26:38,704
Speaker 1: you know, I'm here.

506
00:26:40,144 --> 00:26:43,184
Speaker 3: You know, I looked at the chip once and now.

507
00:26:44,904 --> 00:26:48,064
Speaker 1: How when? Like it just pure and so that made

508
00:26:48,144 --> 00:26:51,104
Speaker 1: me really really nervous because the standard, you know, the

509
00:26:51,144 --> 00:26:53,824
Speaker 1: actors who were the nier people, who were Briety and

510
00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:57,504
Speaker 1: Aaron there, and you know, they all trained and amazing,

511
00:26:57,624 --> 00:27:02,624
Speaker 1: and I did feel very uncertain about this second audition.

512
00:27:03,064 --> 00:27:05,224
Speaker 1: But luckily they put me on a horse, and I

513
00:27:05,264 --> 00:27:07,584
Speaker 1: grew up with horses, right, I mean, I'd never hit

514
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:10,344
Speaker 1: a mark before on a horse. I was comfortable cantering

515
00:27:10,384 --> 00:27:12,304
Speaker 1: in on a horse and my character had to be

516
00:27:12,344 --> 00:27:15,384
Speaker 1: really comfy. So I think my audition wasn't great. My

517
00:27:15,424 --> 00:27:18,384
Speaker 1: first audition was, but the second one wasn't so great.

518
00:27:18,384 --> 00:27:21,064
Speaker 1: But because I nailed it on the horse anyway, Yes,

519
00:27:21,384 --> 00:27:25,544
Speaker 1: Mcloud's was amazing for me to be now with these

520
00:27:25,624 --> 00:27:31,384
Speaker 1: actors that were so talented, to be working with animals,

521
00:27:31,384 --> 00:27:35,144
Speaker 1: to be back in Australia, like all of those things.

522
00:27:35,264 --> 00:27:39,144
Speaker 1: The last couple of years in America, mem X were

523
00:27:39,224 --> 00:27:42,424
Speaker 1: like out in a caravan again. Caravan we moved out La.

524
00:27:42,504 --> 00:27:45,144
Speaker 1: He wasn't an La kind of person either, So we'd

525
00:27:45,224 --> 00:27:48,304
Speaker 1: been living in an airstream out there in the middle

526
00:27:48,304 --> 00:27:53,024
Speaker 1: of Valencia, and we've sort of been away from all

527
00:27:53,064 --> 00:27:55,344
Speaker 1: the big material things anyway. But for me to be

528
00:27:55,504 --> 00:28:00,424
Speaker 1: back and be on home turf family could come and visit,

529
00:28:00,984 --> 00:28:05,984
Speaker 1: doing this extraordinary show with these amazing people was just

530
00:28:06,064 --> 00:28:07,824
Speaker 1: the biggest gift ever.

531
00:28:08,544 --> 00:28:12,704
Speaker 3: So interesting that you know you are originally from country Australia,

532
00:28:12,784 --> 00:28:15,424
Speaker 3: I guess, and then you're on the most iconic regional

533
00:28:15,424 --> 00:28:16,104
Speaker 3: country show.

534
00:28:16,504 --> 00:28:16,824
Speaker 1: Yeah.

535
00:28:16,904 --> 00:28:18,904
Speaker 3: I don't want to push on this too much because

536
00:28:18,904 --> 00:28:20,704
Speaker 3: I know it's personal, but I have seen a post

537
00:28:20,744 --> 00:28:22,944
Speaker 3: of yours that you put up once of you were

538
00:28:22,944 --> 00:28:24,904
Speaker 3: in a wedding dress on the set of McCloud's you're

539
00:28:24,944 --> 00:28:27,304
Speaker 3: filming the wedding scene, but you actually were going through

540
00:28:27,344 --> 00:28:29,424
Speaker 3: personal heartbreak at the time. I think you and your

541
00:28:29,504 --> 00:28:30,704
Speaker 3: axe had just broken up.

542
00:28:31,184 --> 00:28:35,424
Speaker 1: Ah. Yes, well I didn't break up. He left and

543
00:28:35,504 --> 00:28:39,224
Speaker 1: he left very very suddenly. And you know, I'd been

544
00:28:39,464 --> 00:28:44,144
Speaker 1: an anxious person sometimes. You know, nerves can totally get

545
00:28:44,184 --> 00:28:46,624
Speaker 1: the best of me when it comes to additions. If

546
00:28:46,664 --> 00:28:49,464
Speaker 1: it's something really important, you know, the nerves can just

547
00:28:49,584 --> 00:28:52,904
Speaker 1: completely derail, like I can't think, I can't do anything,

548
00:28:53,224 --> 00:28:57,504
Speaker 1: and that's normal. But when he left, it catapulted me

549
00:28:57,664 --> 00:29:02,624
Speaker 1: into a world of anxiety that I didn't know existed,

550
00:29:02,744 --> 00:29:07,864
Speaker 1: and it opened the door to panic attacks. So he

551
00:29:07,984 --> 00:29:10,464
Speaker 1: left the end of November two thousand and six.

552
00:29:10,544 --> 00:29:12,504
Speaker 3: And you were like, you were a long distance at

553
00:29:12,544 --> 00:29:16,264
Speaker 3: this point, so correct, and you're contracted to be in

554
00:29:16,304 --> 00:29:20,784
Speaker 3: a tiny town in South Australia dealing with this from Afar,

555
00:29:20,864 --> 00:29:25,464
Speaker 3: which must have been very like discombobulating on a million levels.

556
00:29:26,064 --> 00:29:28,824
Speaker 1: Yeah, well he flew into break up with me, I guess.

557
00:29:29,384 --> 00:29:31,304
Speaker 1: So he did do it face to face, but it

558
00:29:31,344 --> 00:29:33,904
Speaker 1: came out of the blue because I was leaving Mcloud's

559
00:29:33,904 --> 00:29:36,144
Speaker 1: I've given my notice. We were about to be married.

560
00:29:36,744 --> 00:29:40,664
Speaker 1: You know, we were talking baby names, my world. I

561
00:29:40,664 --> 00:29:42,864
Speaker 1: thought I knew what my world was. And here's my

562
00:29:42,984 --> 00:29:46,904
Speaker 1: character playing She's going to be a bride. So all

563
00:29:46,904 --> 00:29:49,624
Speaker 1: this good stuff's happening for my character, it's happening for

564
00:29:49,704 --> 00:29:52,944
Speaker 1: me in my mind as well. You know, I'll be

565
00:29:52,944 --> 00:29:55,104
Speaker 1: written out of the show. This would have been an

566
00:29:55,104 --> 00:29:58,344
Speaker 1: amazing four years. But I'm going off to live my life.

567
00:29:58,784 --> 00:30:03,104
Speaker 1: He turns up, leaves with no explanation, and I have

568
00:30:03,224 --> 00:30:05,624
Speaker 1: to go. The very first thing I do on the Monday.

569
00:30:05,664 --> 00:30:08,464
Speaker 1: Can you believe he left on the Friday? The very

570
00:30:08,504 --> 00:30:10,944
Speaker 1: first thing I had to do that Monday day was

571
00:30:10,984 --> 00:30:15,664
Speaker 1: try on Stevie's wedding dress. The very first thing. I

572
00:30:15,744 --> 00:30:18,144
Speaker 1: don't really remember it from the moment he left. I

573
00:30:18,184 --> 00:30:19,904
Speaker 1: think I just drank myself into a bit of a

574
00:30:19,944 --> 00:30:24,144
Speaker 1: stupor the entire weekend. Don't think I ate much anyway.

575
00:30:24,184 --> 00:30:28,744
Speaker 1: They take me and I'm a mess. I can't even stand.

576
00:30:28,784 --> 00:30:31,144
Speaker 1: I'm just crying. I'm sobbing, and they're just going to

577
00:30:31,224 --> 00:30:34,664
Speaker 1: hold me up trying to fit this wedding dress. So

578
00:30:34,664 --> 00:30:37,064
Speaker 1: I've never even tried my real wedding dress on. I

579
00:30:37,104 --> 00:30:38,944
Speaker 1: hadn't bought one. You know, it was going to be

580
00:30:38,984 --> 00:30:41,584
Speaker 1: a beach wedding, so it wasn't going to be any.

581
00:30:41,224 --> 00:30:44,104
Speaker 3: But still it was all there in your mind. What

582
00:30:44,264 --> 00:30:44,904
Speaker 3: was going to happen.

583
00:30:45,024 --> 00:30:47,464
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd never tried any wedding dress on. I'd never

584
00:30:47,504 --> 00:30:50,224
Speaker 1: played a bride, So this was the first time ever.

585
00:30:50,984 --> 00:30:53,384
Speaker 1: He just left and here I am trying to put

586
00:30:53,384 --> 00:30:56,104
Speaker 1: this dress on. Anyway, I didn't from that moment though.

587
00:30:56,544 --> 00:30:58,384
Speaker 1: They did hold me up and I had to go

588
00:30:58,424 --> 00:31:00,224
Speaker 1: to set. I only had one scene to do that

589
00:31:00,264 --> 00:31:04,104
Speaker 1: first day on that Monday, and I just stopped. I

590
00:31:04,184 --> 00:31:08,224
Speaker 1: shut it off, and I didn't cry again at work.

591
00:31:08,384 --> 00:31:11,824
Speaker 1: They flew my family in immediate which was amazing. So

592
00:31:11,864 --> 00:31:14,064
Speaker 1: I had my little niece who was maybe two or

593
00:31:14,064 --> 00:31:16,984
Speaker 1: three three at the time, at home with me, and

594
00:31:17,184 --> 00:31:19,704
Speaker 1: my sister was there, you know. So I didn't cry

595
00:31:19,704 --> 00:31:22,624
Speaker 1: at work, I didn't cry at home. But a couple

596
00:31:22,704 --> 00:31:27,184
Speaker 1: of weeks went by with this somehow held within. I'm

597
00:31:27,184 --> 00:31:30,784
Speaker 1: playing the giddy bride, so I'm going the opposite while

598
00:31:30,784 --> 00:31:34,224
Speaker 1: I'm at work. But then one day i'd had a dream,

599
00:31:34,864 --> 00:31:38,144
Speaker 1: walked into the makeup bus and one of my co

600
00:31:38,304 --> 00:31:40,504
Speaker 1: stars just said, oh, you look better, and I was like, yeah,

601
00:31:40,504 --> 00:31:42,064
Speaker 1: I feel good. I had a dream. I told him

602
00:31:42,064 --> 00:31:45,864
Speaker 1: where to go, feeling really confident, and the second I

603
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:50,384
Speaker 1: did it, my world just like collapsed but imploded at

604
00:31:50,384 --> 00:31:53,184
Speaker 1: the same time. I didn't know what was happening. I

605
00:31:53,224 --> 00:31:56,504
Speaker 1: couldn't move. All I could hear was people around me saying,

606
00:31:56,504 --> 00:31:58,064
Speaker 1: are you're right or you're right? But I was just

607
00:31:58,184 --> 00:32:01,224
Speaker 1: I was frozen. It's completely and utterly frozen, but I

608
00:32:01,224 --> 00:32:06,504
Speaker 1: believe I was breathing really, really heavily. Anyway, they quickly

609
00:32:06,584 --> 00:32:09,704
Speaker 1: rushed got the medic to come in, and that was

610
00:32:09,744 --> 00:32:13,944
Speaker 1: the first panic attack that I'd never had, and it

611
00:32:13,984 --> 00:32:16,064
Speaker 1: came from just that little tiny bit of joy that

612
00:32:16,144 --> 00:32:19,984
Speaker 1: I had from you know, telling him off in my dream,

613
00:32:20,144 --> 00:32:24,864
Speaker 1: in my subconscious. It was crazy. And so that photo Stevie,

614
00:32:25,304 --> 00:32:28,664
Speaker 1: my character was shooting the wedding. So everything I did

615
00:32:28,944 --> 00:32:34,024
Speaker 1: from friggin' moment that he left was all Stevie's happiness

616
00:32:34,024 --> 00:32:37,264
Speaker 1: and joy. So of course the wedding itself was going

617
00:32:37,304 --> 00:32:39,344
Speaker 1: to be a hurdle. Everybody knew it. You know, these

618
00:32:39,384 --> 00:32:42,584
Speaker 1: panic attacks had started, so we knew that they would come,

619
00:32:42,584 --> 00:32:46,064
Speaker 1: and they'd come randomly, you never knew, but we assumed

620
00:32:46,424 --> 00:32:49,064
Speaker 1: that the vows were probably going to be the worst.

621
00:32:49,464 --> 00:32:52,384
Speaker 1: But I somehow got through the vowels. Don't know got it.

622
00:32:52,424 --> 00:32:55,504
Speaker 1: But then and then there was the wedding, the first dance,

623
00:32:56,144 --> 00:32:58,864
Speaker 1: and it's just massive. It was as nearly as big

624
00:32:58,904 --> 00:33:01,264
Speaker 1: as the first one. I think it was a huge

625
00:33:01,424 --> 00:33:05,384
Speaker 1: huge panic attack, and then that was the aftermath. So

626
00:33:05,424 --> 00:33:07,904
Speaker 1: I was sitting in the dining room in the big

627
00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:11,464
Speaker 1: old house and my makeup artist Jodie is just trying

628
00:33:11,504 --> 00:33:13,504
Speaker 1: to put me back together, and of course it had

629
00:33:13,544 --> 00:33:16,664
Speaker 1: them for a bit. Now everyone was not so panicked anymore.

630
00:33:16,704 --> 00:33:19,304
Speaker 1: We knew that they came and they were horrible, but

631
00:33:19,504 --> 00:33:22,904
Speaker 1: then they did go and the release, Like, I felt

632
00:33:22,984 --> 00:33:25,424
Speaker 1: quite good after them, because all of this energy is

633
00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:29,184
Speaker 1: somehow it's gone for a second and you go into

634
00:33:29,224 --> 00:33:32,544
Speaker 1: this really horrible, scary place, but then there's this there's

635
00:33:32,584 --> 00:33:35,264
Speaker 1: such relief after it's passed.

636
00:33:35,824 --> 00:33:39,344
Speaker 3: People who haven't experienced panic attacks are always very shocked

637
00:33:39,344 --> 00:33:42,984
Speaker 3: at how physical they are. You know, people frequently think

638
00:33:43,264 --> 00:33:45,944
Speaker 3: they're having a heart attack, that there's something very serious happening,

639
00:33:45,944 --> 00:33:50,144
Speaker 3: and seeing somebody out of context that happening to them

640
00:33:50,224 --> 00:33:53,184
Speaker 3: is very scary. When we were just talking before about

641
00:33:53,184 --> 00:33:54,824
Speaker 3: the moment you look back on and you go, well,

642
00:33:54,824 --> 00:33:57,064
Speaker 3: that was a turn, and that was a turn. So

643
00:33:58,024 --> 00:34:01,104
Speaker 3: that sort of culmination of Mcloud's and sort of clashing

644
00:34:01,104 --> 00:34:04,344
Speaker 3: into this big breakup and also clashing into a mental

645
00:34:04,344 --> 00:34:07,184
Speaker 3: health crisis. I imagine that it is kind of the

646
00:34:07,224 --> 00:34:08,984
Speaker 3: start of another chapter, right.

647
00:34:09,984 --> 00:34:13,504
Speaker 1: Yeah, yet definitely it was well, it was the big

648
00:34:13,624 --> 00:34:15,904
Speaker 1: end of a life that I thought I was going

649
00:34:15,984 --> 00:34:18,064
Speaker 1: to have and then it was. It opened up a

650
00:34:18,144 --> 00:34:22,504
Speaker 1: different kind of world, this anxiety world that I then

651
00:34:22,584 --> 00:34:26,144
Speaker 1: had to contend with. I mean, it did sort of

652
00:34:26,184 --> 00:34:30,024
Speaker 1: pass down there. They became less frequent, especially after the

653
00:34:30,064 --> 00:34:35,064
Speaker 1: wedding was kind of done and dusted. But other things

654
00:34:35,184 --> 00:34:39,784
Speaker 1: can trigger them these days, and so more recently, you know,

655
00:34:40,024 --> 00:34:42,544
Speaker 1: financial stress is under the thing.

656
00:34:43,224 --> 00:34:45,704
Speaker 3: It's interesting because a lot of the women who listen

657
00:34:45,744 --> 00:34:49,784
Speaker 3: to this show, you know, their stories won't involve Hollywood

658
00:34:50,104 --> 00:34:52,904
Speaker 3: stars and you know, being on the beach in their

659
00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:57,624
Speaker 3: neckers and shooting weddings, but the themes are similar, right,

660
00:34:57,744 --> 00:35:00,664
Speaker 3: like the things that can derail your life. There's confidence,

661
00:35:00,704 --> 00:35:04,344
Speaker 3: there's mental health, there's romantic breakdowns, there's all these things.

662
00:35:04,424 --> 00:35:07,384
Speaker 3: It is actually very relatable because then you're there going okay,

663
00:35:07,584 --> 00:35:10,424
Speaker 3: well now what and then you become a single.

664
00:35:10,144 --> 00:35:13,704
Speaker 4: Mom then yeah, look, so it all happens for a reason,

665
00:35:13,784 --> 00:35:17,984
Speaker 4: right inside, Like I'm so glad that he left because

666
00:35:18,864 --> 00:35:22,064
Speaker 4: I wouldn't have MADS if you know, I had stayed

667
00:35:22,104 --> 00:35:25,704
Speaker 4: in that relationship, if I had gone to America, Like,

668
00:35:25,944 --> 00:35:28,024
Speaker 4: oh god, I just wouldn't want to be in America anyway.

669
00:35:28,184 --> 00:35:30,664
Speaker 3: Well, no, not at the moment for sure. So your

670
00:35:30,704 --> 00:35:33,064
Speaker 3: life as single mom, as mads as mom?

671
00:35:33,384 --> 00:35:34,624
Speaker 1: Yeah, how has that?

672
00:35:34,864 --> 00:35:38,464
Speaker 3: And obviously did you consciously leave acting behind or did

673
00:35:38,504 --> 00:35:40,144
Speaker 3: it leave you a little bit? Well? Was that a

674
00:35:40,224 --> 00:35:43,944
Speaker 3: very conscious decision that like, okay, it's time to change

675
00:35:44,664 --> 00:35:45,504
Speaker 3: how things are going?

676
00:35:45,904 --> 00:35:49,384
Speaker 1: Yeah, look, I definitely decided to put my hand down.

677
00:35:49,464 --> 00:35:52,624
Speaker 1: So Madigan was born on my thirty seventh birthday, and

678
00:35:52,864 --> 00:35:54,664
Speaker 1: I went down and I think he was only three

679
00:35:54,664 --> 00:35:57,104
Speaker 1: months old. I did a little stint on City Homicide,

680
00:35:57,464 --> 00:35:59,264
Speaker 1: which was fine. It was only a few days though.

681
00:35:59,304 --> 00:36:02,024
Speaker 1: It was just a little guesty. That was okay. But

682
00:36:02,104 --> 00:36:05,704
Speaker 1: then when he was around two, I went and did Neighbors.

683
00:36:05,784 --> 00:36:09,064
Speaker 1: And I did Neighbors for about three months. And the

684
00:36:09,224 --> 00:36:12,624
Speaker 1: set days when you're working on a show, any show,

685
00:36:12,744 --> 00:36:15,024
Speaker 1: sometimes you can be there twelve fourteen hours a day,

686
00:36:15,664 --> 00:36:17,904
Speaker 1: and that's how it was when I was on Neighbors.

687
00:36:17,904 --> 00:36:21,584
Speaker 1: You know, you work for a really they crushed their scenes.

688
00:36:21,984 --> 00:36:23,704
Speaker 1: You did all your scenes kind of in one day

689
00:36:23,744 --> 00:36:25,984
Speaker 1: and then they'd be rehearsals and whatnot. So even though

690
00:36:25,984 --> 00:36:27,744
Speaker 1: I was there for three months, some weeks, I was

691
00:36:27,744 --> 00:36:29,904
Speaker 1: only maybe working the one day, but in that day

692
00:36:30,024 --> 00:36:32,904
Speaker 1: I was away for the entire day. I'd leave in

693
00:36:32,944 --> 00:36:36,104
Speaker 1: the dark, I'd be home in the dark, and Madigan

694
00:36:36,184 --> 00:36:40,784
Speaker 1: just didn't understand. And I just after that Gig, I

695
00:36:41,144 --> 00:36:44,624
Speaker 1: just thought, you know, I'm the age that I am.

696
00:36:44,784 --> 00:36:47,984
Speaker 1: I don't have a partner. The chances of me having

697
00:36:48,064 --> 00:36:51,024
Speaker 1: another baby are very, very slim. I don't want to

698
00:36:51,024 --> 00:36:54,184
Speaker 1: miss a moment. It was then that I sort of

699
00:36:54,264 --> 00:36:57,344
Speaker 1: said to my agents that I don't really think this

700
00:36:57,424 --> 00:36:59,264
Speaker 1: is for me at the moment. I really just want

701
00:36:59,264 --> 00:37:01,904
Speaker 1: to enjoy this with my little boy. I was in

702
00:37:01,944 --> 00:37:05,704
Speaker 1: Coughs Tarbarts, so you know, I'm removed from the acting

703
00:37:05,744 --> 00:37:09,584
Speaker 1: world and all of that anyway, so I just said, no,

704
00:37:09,704 --> 00:37:11,904
Speaker 1: let's just leave it for now.

705
00:37:14,344 --> 00:37:16,224
Speaker 3: After this short break, I'm going to be back with

706
00:37:16,304 --> 00:37:19,384
Speaker 3: Simone Jade McKinnon to hear about how things came full

707
00:37:19,464 --> 00:37:23,104
Speaker 3: circle for Simone, but not quite in the way she'd planned.

708
00:37:28,624 --> 00:37:30,584
Speaker 3: And this brings us back to the little house that

709
00:37:30,624 --> 00:37:33,824
Speaker 3: you bought that you told us about. So after Mcloud's

710
00:37:33,824 --> 00:37:35,704
Speaker 3: you bought a house back in coff she moved back

711
00:37:35,744 --> 00:37:38,984
Speaker 3: to be near your family, and then after a few

712
00:37:39,064 --> 00:37:42,864
Speaker 3: years there and I imagine circumstances changed. We moved back

713
00:37:42,864 --> 00:37:43,424
Speaker 3: to the paddock.

714
00:37:45,344 --> 00:37:48,424
Speaker 1: We moved. Yeah, we get the caravan. We set off

715
00:37:48,424 --> 00:37:51,424
Speaker 1: on our lap around Australia. But my dad, who has

716
00:37:51,464 --> 00:37:54,984
Speaker 1: been battling cancer since two thousand and seven, not battling

717
00:37:55,104 --> 00:37:57,864
Speaker 1: the whole time, sorry, living with cancer. Yeah, he got

718
00:37:57,864 --> 00:37:59,824
Speaker 1: really sick. So I'd only been on the road for

719
00:37:59,864 --> 00:38:03,384
Speaker 1: six months. Here we are in the caravan, we're in

720
00:38:03,424 --> 00:38:06,584
Speaker 1: cans and he wants me to come back, and I'm like, oh, okay,

721
00:38:06,624 --> 00:38:09,064
Speaker 1: it's a long drive, but I'd rather come back now,

722
00:38:09,584 --> 00:38:12,544
Speaker 1: you know, than if we're over in wa. You know,

723
00:38:12,584 --> 00:38:15,544
Speaker 1: it's a lot bigger hall to get home. So I

724
00:38:15,584 --> 00:38:17,824
Speaker 1: was like, this is perfect. We'll come home for Christmas anyway.

725
00:38:18,464 --> 00:38:20,544
Speaker 1: Set up in the paddock. The paddock that I used

726
00:38:20,544 --> 00:38:23,744
Speaker 1: to ride my horses in out of Bonvog was five acres.

727
00:38:23,744 --> 00:38:26,504
Speaker 1: It's nothing big, it's nothing grand. And so there I

728
00:38:26,624 --> 00:38:29,584
Speaker 1: was in the caravan in the paddock and he asked

729
00:38:29,584 --> 00:38:33,064
Speaker 1: me to subdivide the land for him. He's like, I'd

730
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:36,024
Speaker 1: rather subdivide it now. The council had just given approval.

731
00:38:36,024 --> 00:38:39,144
Speaker 1: I'd rather subdivide it now and have your kids get

732
00:38:39,144 --> 00:38:42,424
Speaker 1: a little bit of your inheritance. Now that'll help you

733
00:38:42,504 --> 00:38:45,824
Speaker 1: all out. And so I was like, okay, sure, how

734
00:38:45,864 --> 00:38:49,344
Speaker 1: long would this possibly take a few months, I thought.

735
00:38:50,064 --> 00:38:53,744
Speaker 1: Two years later, I'm still in the paddock full time

736
00:38:53,864 --> 00:38:56,224
Speaker 1: in the caravan, not moving, and it's.

737
00:38:56,104 --> 00:38:58,824
Speaker 3: Like, oh, what are you living on at this point, Like,

738
00:38:58,904 --> 00:39:01,384
Speaker 3: what's work like for you at this time?

739
00:39:01,744 --> 00:39:02,104
Speaker 1: Work?

740
00:39:02,344 --> 00:39:03,264
Speaker 3: Yeah? Were you working?

741
00:39:03,664 --> 00:39:06,384
Speaker 1: No? So I came back. I was his care for

742
00:39:06,424 --> 00:39:09,344
Speaker 1: a while, yes, because he was so sick. So I

743
00:39:09,424 --> 00:39:13,624
Speaker 1: did get some money from that. You know, I'd sold

744
00:39:13,664 --> 00:39:15,664
Speaker 1: the house, so I had money in the bank, so

745
00:39:15,704 --> 00:39:18,624
Speaker 1: I wasn't allowed I sent a link or anything like that.

746
00:39:19,024 --> 00:39:20,744
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you had savings.

747
00:39:20,384 --> 00:39:22,344
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because I had my savings. So that was

748
00:39:22,384 --> 00:39:24,344
Speaker 1: a choice I decided. I knew that I was going

749
00:39:24,384 --> 00:39:26,704
Speaker 1: to spend money to do this lap, but it was

750
00:39:26,784 --> 00:39:29,224
Speaker 1: something I was happy to do because it was the

751
00:39:29,224 --> 00:39:31,064
Speaker 1: bucket list dream that I wanted.

752
00:39:31,504 --> 00:39:33,224
Speaker 3: Was the six months that you did get to do?

753
00:39:33,424 --> 00:39:34,104
Speaker 3: Was it the dream?

754
00:39:34,584 --> 00:39:36,984
Speaker 1: It was part of the dream Queensland.

755
00:39:37,104 --> 00:39:39,584
Speaker 3: So, but was it wonderful being on the road like that?

756
00:39:39,664 --> 00:39:41,184
Speaker 3: To sheer Math, Oh my.

757
00:39:41,144 --> 00:39:43,264
Speaker 1: God, it was the best. It was the best. It

758
00:39:43,304 --> 00:39:46,064
Speaker 1: was hard because I was homeschooling him, like kindergarten. You

759
00:39:46,224 --> 00:39:49,264
Speaker 1: think that KINDI would be the easiest, but it's not.

760
00:39:49,424 --> 00:39:53,184
Speaker 1: Kindergarten is the base of all their schooling and he

761
00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:56,584
Speaker 1: had a speech delay, so it was really hard. That

762
00:39:56,704 --> 00:39:59,064
Speaker 1: was the worst part of it. Like I loved doing

763
00:39:59,104 --> 00:40:03,064
Speaker 1: it all myself. I took him to the Tip Wow

764
00:40:03,264 --> 00:40:04,784
Speaker 1: Tip of New South I was. I dragged a twenty

765
00:40:04,824 --> 00:40:07,464
Speaker 1: four foot caravan by myself that whole.

766
00:40:07,224 --> 00:40:09,904
Speaker 3: Way crop country red bir.

767
00:40:11,544 --> 00:40:14,224
Speaker 1: Like. We loved it. Madigan loved it, the dogs loved it.

768
00:40:14,264 --> 00:40:16,744
Speaker 1: We didn't love the crocodiles because that made it hard.

769
00:40:17,304 --> 00:40:21,344
Speaker 1: But just being on the road and you know, the

770
00:40:21,384 --> 00:40:24,064
Speaker 1: physical work, I didn't mind at all. I loved driving,

771
00:40:24,184 --> 00:40:26,584
Speaker 1: so that wasn't a problem. And yeah, we were just

772
00:40:26,664 --> 00:40:30,264
Speaker 1: we were absolutely living our best life while we were

773
00:40:30,304 --> 00:40:32,384
Speaker 1: on the road. I just think I was born to

774
00:40:32,424 --> 00:40:32,744
Speaker 1: do it.

775
00:40:32,984 --> 00:40:35,544
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you know, there's plenty of time. We'll get

776
00:40:35,544 --> 00:40:38,584
Speaker 3: to that. So that you come home, you're looking after

777
00:40:38,624 --> 00:40:42,264
Speaker 3: your dad, Mads and living on the property. And then

778
00:40:42,304 --> 00:40:42,864
Speaker 3: what happened.

779
00:40:42,904 --> 00:40:45,824
Speaker 1: So then Poppy pulls the rug out from under my

780
00:40:45,864 --> 00:40:48,024
Speaker 1: feet a little bit and he goes, well, so I'm

781
00:40:48,024 --> 00:40:51,504
Speaker 1: about to sell the land for him and me and

782
00:40:51,584 --> 00:40:55,264
Speaker 1: Mad's he's feeling better, and I'm like, perfect, we're going again.

783
00:40:55,984 --> 00:40:58,984
Speaker 1: And then Poppy goes, actually, I'm not going to sell

784
00:40:58,984 --> 00:41:00,384
Speaker 1: it to anyone. You're going to have to take it.

785
00:41:00,864 --> 00:41:04,784
Speaker 1: I don't want it, no offense, But I don't really

786
00:41:04,864 --> 00:41:07,304
Speaker 1: want to live next door to my dad. I mean,

787
00:41:07,344 --> 00:41:09,024
Speaker 1: I got out of Coff's Harbor when I was sixteen

788
00:41:09,064 --> 00:41:12,064
Speaker 1: for a reason. Be here. It was good while Madigan

789
00:41:12,144 --> 00:41:15,824
Speaker 1: was little, but you know I wanted out anyway. He's

790
00:41:15,824 --> 00:41:19,104
Speaker 1: a stubborn I get the stubbornness from him. From him,

791
00:41:19,384 --> 00:41:21,544
Speaker 1: and once he put his foot down, I truly believed

792
00:41:21,624 --> 00:41:24,224
Speaker 1: him that he wasn't going to he wasn't going to

793
00:41:24,224 --> 00:41:26,584
Speaker 1: sell it to anybody else. But may so I'll like, okay,

794
00:41:26,584 --> 00:41:28,864
Speaker 1: well I've got the cash. I've got a bit of cash.

795
00:41:28,864 --> 00:41:29,464
Speaker 3: From the house.

796
00:41:29,664 --> 00:41:32,224
Speaker 1: Yeap, from the house. I'll pay up my brother and sister,

797
00:41:32,464 --> 00:41:35,784
Speaker 1: and I'll use the land. I'll build a shed on

798
00:41:35,824 --> 00:41:38,304
Speaker 1: it and I'll use it as my base. That sounds

799
00:41:38,344 --> 00:41:39,064
Speaker 1: like a great plan.

800
00:41:39,264 --> 00:41:41,744
Speaker 3: So the land you're living on now is yours.

801
00:41:41,824 --> 00:41:44,504
Speaker 1: It is actually mine. Yes, it's two and a half acres,

802
00:41:45,024 --> 00:41:46,904
Speaker 1: and it is the paddock that we used to ride

803
00:41:46,904 --> 00:41:49,144
Speaker 1: our This is in that's.

804
00:41:48,904 --> 00:41:52,144
Speaker 3: So interesting because I mean, I know you were saying

805
00:41:52,144 --> 00:41:55,144
Speaker 3: that isn't what you wanted, but what a story to

806
00:41:55,304 --> 00:41:59,144
Speaker 3: come back there to raise your boy after all these

807
00:41:59,424 --> 00:42:05,504
Speaker 3: after Hawaii and Gaula and Sydney and Japan. Yeah, it's wild.

808
00:42:06,144 --> 00:42:07,904
Speaker 1: I know the place that I couldn't wait to get

809
00:42:07,944 --> 00:42:09,064
Speaker 1: out of though I'm stuck.

810
00:42:09,144 --> 00:42:12,864
Speaker 3: He now, is there something beautiful about it or not?

811
00:42:13,624 --> 00:42:15,344
Speaker 3: Or do you have to really reach for the something

812
00:42:15,384 --> 00:42:16,264
Speaker 3: beautiful about it?

813
00:42:16,304 --> 00:42:18,864
Speaker 1: You really have to reach for the same I think,

814
00:42:19,224 --> 00:42:21,904
Speaker 1: you know the reason of all the stress and the

815
00:42:21,944 --> 00:42:25,464
Speaker 1: mental issues was because I was forced into this situation.

816
00:42:25,984 --> 00:42:28,624
Speaker 1: I would have decided it for myself, that's one thing,

817
00:42:29,224 --> 00:42:31,264
Speaker 1: and then you live with your decision. But I kind

818
00:42:31,264 --> 00:42:34,664
Speaker 1: of felt like I was forced into it. And that's

819
00:42:34,704 --> 00:42:37,104
Speaker 1: the thing that I've battled with because it's not a

820
00:42:37,104 --> 00:42:40,184
Speaker 1: bad thing to be forced into, but it has changed.

821
00:42:40,424 --> 00:42:43,664
Speaker 1: It's changed my life because the I haven't been able

822
00:42:43,704 --> 00:42:46,784
Speaker 1: to continue the lap and live out my dream. I

823
00:42:46,784 --> 00:42:49,704
Speaker 1: don't have the cash to do it anymore either, because.

824
00:42:49,664 --> 00:42:51,144
Speaker 3: You've spent it on the land.

825
00:42:51,064 --> 00:42:54,024
Speaker 1: Well, spend it on the land and then anything else

826
00:42:54,064 --> 00:42:55,624
Speaker 1: has now gone into this small business.

827
00:42:55,704 --> 00:42:59,344
Speaker 3: So so you've started a small business it's clothing and

828
00:42:59,944 --> 00:43:01,584
Speaker 3: I have to say it's very you. I was looking

829
00:43:01,624 --> 00:43:04,864
Speaker 3: at the website earlier on is that the big dream?

830
00:43:05,104 --> 00:43:08,664
Speaker 3: Like is that where you see yourself going no, you're

831
00:43:08,704 --> 00:43:09,624
Speaker 3: shaking your head another.

832
00:43:09,704 --> 00:43:12,504
Speaker 1: I honestly did it.

833
00:43:12,584 --> 00:43:16,464
Speaker 3: So it's called Wandering Aussie. By the way, everybody wandering Ozzy,

834
00:43:16,664 --> 00:43:16,944
Speaker 3: thank you.

835
00:43:16,944 --> 00:43:19,184
Speaker 1: For the shout out. Yes, wondering Izzy. Well, I went

836
00:43:19,264 --> 00:43:21,504
Speaker 1: under the name Wandering Ossy when I first sold up

837
00:43:21,504 --> 00:43:23,424
Speaker 1: because I was like, oh, this is cool. Maybe I can,

838
00:43:23,624 --> 00:43:25,824
Speaker 1: you know, do a little YouTube channel. I did start one,

839
00:43:25,984 --> 00:43:29,304
Speaker 1: and you know, I'll document my travels. Maybe there's a

840
00:43:29,304 --> 00:43:31,304
Speaker 1: way I can make some money as I go. Kind

841
00:43:31,304 --> 00:43:34,264
Speaker 1: of That's what I thought back in twenty sixteen, and

842
00:43:34,264 --> 00:43:36,744
Speaker 1: then twenty nineteen I did take off again and I

843
00:43:36,784 --> 00:43:38,424
Speaker 1: was working as a Jillaroo.

844
00:43:38,784 --> 00:43:42,264
Speaker 3: Which this blows my mind because I'm just imagining people

845
00:43:42,344 --> 00:43:45,544
Speaker 3: going our Jillaroo is Stevie from McLeod's daughter.

846
00:43:46,024 --> 00:43:48,464
Speaker 1: And it all happened by chance, Like my whole life

847
00:43:48,704 --> 00:43:52,344
Speaker 1: is just this chance after chance that I've just been

848
00:43:52,504 --> 00:43:56,664
Speaker 1: really lucky and really fortunate that they've come up. And

849
00:43:56,704 --> 00:44:00,104
Speaker 1: then also I've had the balls to just go, yeah,

850
00:43:59,504 --> 00:44:03,944
Speaker 1: why why not? And this family that lived up at Rockhampton.

851
00:44:03,944 --> 00:44:06,304
Speaker 1: I did a charity event in Tamworth with riding these

852
00:44:06,344 --> 00:44:09,224
Speaker 1: cutting horses, which is amazing, and then they said to me,

853
00:44:10,384 --> 00:44:12,384
Speaker 1: why don't you come up. This is twenty nineteen. Why

854
00:44:12,424 --> 00:44:14,664
Speaker 1: don't you come up and work at our station and

855
00:44:14,704 --> 00:44:17,104
Speaker 1: will teach you to do what you used to pretend

856
00:44:17,104 --> 00:44:19,344
Speaker 1: to do on mcclouds Daughters. We'll teach you for real.

857
00:44:20,344 --> 00:44:24,344
Speaker 1: And I was like sure. Like I didn't get paid,

858
00:44:24,424 --> 00:44:27,504
Speaker 1: so it was just food and accommodation were all covered,

859
00:44:28,144 --> 00:44:30,104
Speaker 1: so it was just for the experience and I was

860
00:44:30,144 --> 00:44:33,144
Speaker 1: there for only three months. Unfortunately, the drought hit and

861
00:44:33,224 --> 00:44:35,504
Speaker 1: it was a really bad time for the family, so

862
00:44:35,944 --> 00:44:38,184
Speaker 1: I couldn't stay as long as I had planned to stay.

863
00:44:38,744 --> 00:44:41,544
Speaker 1: But from there I went up bull catching in far

864
00:44:41,624 --> 00:44:45,064
Speaker 1: North Queensland and I kind of went, oh, there's enough

865
00:44:45,104 --> 00:44:49,464
Speaker 1: interest in me doing this that I think I could

866
00:44:49,984 --> 00:44:53,424
Speaker 1: do both the lap and the jillarooing at the same time.

867
00:44:53,624 --> 00:44:56,984
Speaker 1: Document it as well. Just want a property, hop my

868
00:44:57,064 --> 00:45:01,504
Speaker 1: way around and get paid like a jilaru is really

869
00:45:01,584 --> 00:45:04,624
Speaker 1: low wage, especially starting from the bottom. I'm sure the

870
00:45:04,904 --> 00:45:07,464
Speaker 1: good station hands in all of those they'd probably get

871
00:45:07,464 --> 00:45:10,024
Speaker 1: great money. But when you're the shit kicker as I was,

872
00:45:11,344 --> 00:45:14,344
Speaker 1: It's really basic money, but I didn't care. I was like,

873
00:45:14,664 --> 00:45:17,104
Speaker 1: that could be an amazing thing for me. But then

874
00:45:17,264 --> 00:45:20,144
Speaker 1: the pandemic hit twenty nineteen, everything was great. I had

875
00:45:20,144 --> 00:45:23,584
Speaker 1: some station work lined up for early twenty twenty pandemic,

876
00:45:23,824 --> 00:45:26,224
Speaker 1: Yeah you're not going north and I had a station

877
00:45:26,264 --> 00:45:30,064
Speaker 1: in Tazzy and our second wave hit Victoria not going

878
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:33,304
Speaker 1: that way, and then I was like, oh, what am

879
00:45:33,304 --> 00:45:35,904
Speaker 1: I going to do? I need to do something. I'm

880
00:45:35,944 --> 00:45:37,904
Speaker 1: stuck here. I've got the shed in the caravan, but

881
00:45:38,344 --> 00:45:40,224
Speaker 1: what am I going to do? And then with the

882
00:45:40,264 --> 00:45:43,824
Speaker 1: Wandering Ossie title, I just thought, you know, I've always sown,

883
00:45:43,944 --> 00:45:46,304
Speaker 1: I've made I made Logi dresses when I was back

884
00:45:46,344 --> 00:45:49,304
Speaker 1: doing the logis. I've always been creative in that way,

885
00:45:49,344 --> 00:45:51,904
Speaker 1: and so I thought, well, maybe I can just do

886
00:45:52,064 --> 00:45:54,784
Speaker 1: something along those lines while I'm stuck here. And I

887
00:45:54,864 --> 00:45:57,704
Speaker 1: knew that there'd be Mcloud's fans out there. I did

888
00:45:57,744 --> 00:46:00,784
Speaker 1: my logo was a cowgirl, kind of a gypsy cowgirl.

889
00:46:00,824 --> 00:46:02,584
Speaker 1: I had my dreadlocks, so it was like a cow

890
00:46:02,624 --> 00:46:06,504
Speaker 1: girl and a gypsy collide. And I knew that they

891
00:46:06,544 --> 00:46:09,144
Speaker 1: would get a kick out of that, and they did.

892
00:46:09,384 --> 00:46:11,904
Speaker 1: You know, the hood and T shirts went quite quickly,

893
00:46:11,944 --> 00:46:14,584
Speaker 1: and then the pandemic just kept going. So I was like, Okay,

894
00:46:14,584 --> 00:46:17,384
Speaker 1: well I'll do something else, and here we are, like

895
00:46:17,664 --> 00:46:21,584
Speaker 1: what four years later, and I'm still going with it.

896
00:46:22,064 --> 00:46:24,824
Speaker 3: Can I ask you about the pressure of being a

897
00:46:24,864 --> 00:46:28,144
Speaker 3: single mom? And I know that actually looking at Wondering Ossie,

898
00:46:28,264 --> 00:46:30,544
Speaker 3: you actually give a little bit of money from all

899
00:46:30,584 --> 00:46:33,744
Speaker 3: your sales to a single mom's organization, right, so you're

900
00:46:33,784 --> 00:46:36,464
Speaker 3: really passionate about supporting single moms.

901
00:46:36,744 --> 00:46:36,944
Speaker 1: Yeah.

902
00:46:37,384 --> 00:46:40,104
Speaker 3: Can you explain a little bit about the pressure of

903
00:46:40,144 --> 00:46:42,944
Speaker 3: how it feels to be the sort of single point

904
00:46:42,944 --> 00:46:45,264
Speaker 3: of failure for your family? And when I say single

905
00:46:45,304 --> 00:46:48,064
Speaker 3: point of failure, that sounds wrong. I'm not suggesting in

906
00:46:48,064 --> 00:46:50,464
Speaker 3: any way your failure, but the pressure of knowing if

907
00:46:50,504 --> 00:46:52,784
Speaker 3: I don't do it, it's not going to happen. If

908
00:46:52,864 --> 00:46:54,784
Speaker 3: I don't put food on the table, it's not going

909
00:46:54,864 --> 00:46:57,744
Speaker 3: to be there, if I don't secure things, you know

910
00:46:57,824 --> 00:47:01,344
Speaker 3: for maths like that is a pressure that is a

911
00:47:01,384 --> 00:47:04,104
Speaker 3: lot to live with, right, Yes.

912
00:47:04,184 --> 00:47:07,384
Speaker 1: It certainly is. Like any single parent, male or female,

913
00:47:07,424 --> 00:47:09,944
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's a really it's a tough gig.

914
00:47:10,424 --> 00:47:12,624
Speaker 1: But I always say that, you know, with all the

915
00:47:12,704 --> 00:47:16,864
Speaker 1: stress and the money and all of that, you also

916
00:47:16,944 --> 00:47:20,784
Speaker 1: get double the love, double the hugs, double the everything.

917
00:47:20,864 --> 00:47:25,744
Speaker 1: So for me, it's been a really wonderful ride. As

918
00:47:25,784 --> 00:47:30,344
Speaker 1: stressful as it has been, I know I'm fortunate though too,

919
00:47:30,464 --> 00:47:32,624
Speaker 1: Like I do have a block of land here, I've

920
00:47:32,624 --> 00:47:34,704
Speaker 1: got a caravan and I've got a shed, and that's

921
00:47:34,744 --> 00:47:38,504
Speaker 1: a lot more than many many other single mums or

922
00:47:38,624 --> 00:47:41,904
Speaker 1: dads have. Especially now now it's horrible.

923
00:47:42,384 --> 00:47:44,824
Speaker 3: What have you learned about how to? I mean? And

924
00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:46,664
Speaker 3: maybe you didn't have to learn because as you said

925
00:47:46,664 --> 00:47:49,024
Speaker 3: at the beginning, you're not a very materialistic person. But

926
00:47:49,904 --> 00:47:52,584
Speaker 3: the logistics of living between a shad and a caravan, like,

927
00:47:52,624 --> 00:47:54,944
Speaker 3: what have you learned it's easy to go without? Like

928
00:47:54,984 --> 00:47:57,224
Speaker 3: what's your sort of philosophy on what you actually need,

929
00:47:57,264 --> 00:47:59,984
Speaker 3: you guys to be the happy family unit that you

930
00:48:00,064 --> 00:48:01,904
Speaker 3: clearly are very tight.

931
00:48:02,584 --> 00:48:06,624
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, look we don't have there's no heating or

932
00:48:06,664 --> 00:48:09,344
Speaker 1: cooling in this shed. This is a big black shed too,

933
00:48:09,464 --> 00:48:14,824
Speaker 1: So sumer time, this thing is hot, wintertime it's freezing.

934
00:48:14,864 --> 00:48:18,064
Speaker 1: It's cement floors, so you know, we just go without.

935
00:48:18,144 --> 00:48:21,024
Speaker 1: You put the fans on when it's hot, and then

936
00:48:21,144 --> 00:48:23,904
Speaker 1: wintertime we rug up like I've always got I mean,

937
00:48:23,944 --> 00:48:25,784
Speaker 1: my hair's growing out at the moment too, so that's

938
00:48:25,864 --> 00:48:28,304
Speaker 1: another reason for the bandanna. But always got a beanie

939
00:48:28,344 --> 00:48:30,944
Speaker 1: on and just you just got to lay out so

940
00:48:30,984 --> 00:48:33,544
Speaker 1: we go without things like that. You know that money

941
00:48:33,864 --> 00:48:38,384
Speaker 1: can go towards an adventure of some sort. Madigan, you know,

942
00:48:38,384 --> 00:48:40,584
Speaker 1: I want him to grow up thinking that kind of

943
00:48:40,704 --> 00:48:43,384
Speaker 1: thing too. And he like he laughs at the fact

944
00:48:43,384 --> 00:48:46,664
Speaker 1: that he's a kmart kid. That's what you know. It's

945
00:48:46,704 --> 00:48:49,344
Speaker 1: I think it's cute, like of course, like he's he

946
00:48:49,464 --> 00:48:52,544
Speaker 1: understands already. I mean, he's got a PlayStation, so you know,

947
00:48:52,584 --> 00:48:55,784
Speaker 1: there are some things that I definitely want him to,

948
00:48:56,064 --> 00:48:59,064
Speaker 1: you know, not feel like he's getting left behind. But

949
00:48:59,344 --> 00:49:02,344
Speaker 1: he also knows that you don't need all that. He

950
00:49:02,384 --> 00:49:04,184
Speaker 1: loves the shed. He thinks the shed's great.

951
00:49:04,384 --> 00:49:06,544
Speaker 3: It actually looks really good from what I can see.

952
00:49:07,944 --> 00:49:09,064
Speaker 1: I'm showing you a good part.

953
00:49:10,824 --> 00:49:13,064
Speaker 3: I've got a corrugated roof on my house too, so

954
00:49:13,104 --> 00:49:16,384
Speaker 3: I know about the noise, but you're doing very well

955
00:49:16,384 --> 00:49:19,904
Speaker 3: with it. Let's just get to the Summit, because I

956
00:49:19,944 --> 00:49:21,944
Speaker 3: heard when you were going on that show. So anyone

957
00:49:21,944 --> 00:49:24,464
Speaker 3: who hasn't watched The Summit, right there are some shows

958
00:49:24,464 --> 00:49:26,744
Speaker 3: that I love to watch with my kids. Family. TV

959
00:49:26,944 --> 00:49:28,984
Speaker 3: is a thing, right. I used to turn my nose

960
00:49:29,064 --> 00:49:32,184
Speaker 3: up at those kind of shows, but now there's nothing

961
00:49:32,184 --> 00:49:33,584
Speaker 3: I love more than being on the couch. And we

962
00:49:33,624 --> 00:49:36,424
Speaker 3: watch Survivor, and we watched both seasons at the summit,

963
00:49:36,904 --> 00:49:38,424
Speaker 3: and you were on it.

964
00:49:38,584 --> 00:49:44,144
Speaker 1: The physical pain has been the lentless from blisters to

965
00:49:44,544 --> 00:49:50,184
Speaker 1: sore shoulder, and as much as my heart is telling

966
00:49:50,184 --> 00:49:53,704
Speaker 1: me to keep going, where I am really struggling to

967
00:49:54,424 --> 00:49:57,424
Speaker 1: catch my breath, like I don't know if it's a

968
00:49:57,464 --> 00:50:02,504
Speaker 1: panic attack that I'm feeling coming on, I can see

969
00:50:02,504 --> 00:50:03,424
Speaker 1: your hands shaking.

970
00:50:05,904 --> 00:50:08,504
Speaker 3: I loved you from the minute you came on, because

971
00:50:08,584 --> 00:50:10,224
Speaker 3: obviously I know who you are. Of course I do.

972
00:50:10,504 --> 00:50:13,704
Speaker 3: I'm very familiar with McCloud's and all the culture of

973
00:50:13,704 --> 00:50:15,224
Speaker 3: the tea. I used to work at TV week at

974
00:50:15,224 --> 00:50:17,704
Speaker 3: one time, and you were a big deal there, I

975
00:50:17,704 --> 00:50:19,904
Speaker 3: can tell you so obviously I knew you were, but

976
00:50:19,944 --> 00:50:23,344
Speaker 3: there was something very relatable to me about you on

977
00:50:23,384 --> 00:50:26,384
Speaker 3: that show. You were very honest about your circumstances. You

978
00:50:26,424 --> 00:50:28,784
Speaker 3: were very clear about the fact I'm here to make

979
00:50:28,824 --> 00:50:31,824
Speaker 3: some money for my family. My dream is to build

980
00:50:31,824 --> 00:50:36,664
Speaker 3: a shared house on your property. You seemed overwhelmed at

981
00:50:36,704 --> 00:50:39,664
Speaker 3: the beginning. You seemed insecure at the beginning, you were like,

982
00:50:39,744 --> 00:50:41,864
Speaker 3: what am I doing here? Who are all these big personalities?

983
00:50:41,904 --> 00:50:45,544
Speaker 3: I don't even know? And yet you were spoiler friends

984
00:50:46,144 --> 00:50:48,824
Speaker 3: one of the last three, and you walked away with

985
00:50:48,864 --> 00:50:51,024
Speaker 3: some money, not as much as, in my opinion, you

986
00:50:51,064 --> 00:50:54,664
Speaker 3: should have walked away with. But you get paid to

987
00:50:54,704 --> 00:50:55,624
Speaker 3: go on it, right.

988
00:50:56,384 --> 00:51:00,904
Speaker 1: No, as a show like that, some contestants might get paid,

989
00:51:01,224 --> 00:51:05,024
Speaker 1: but on a reality show like that, you don't get paid.

990
00:51:05,224 --> 00:51:07,864
Speaker 3: So the prize money is the reward and that's it, right, Okay,

991
00:51:07,984 --> 00:51:09,864
Speaker 3: and obviously expensive.

992
00:51:09,424 --> 00:51:13,184
Speaker 1: Pluff, Yeah, yeah, but definitely people can get paid for it.

993
00:51:13,264 --> 00:51:16,104
Speaker 1: But in general terms, no, a show like that, you

994
00:51:16,224 --> 00:51:19,264
Speaker 1: go on there. I mean it's two weeks, fifteen days

995
00:51:19,304 --> 00:51:21,704
Speaker 1: of your life, so you know it's a good gamble.

996
00:51:22,104 --> 00:51:23,544
Speaker 3: Was that experience terrifying?

997
00:51:24,064 --> 00:51:26,424
Speaker 1: Well, look, they asked me, and then I said, yes, okay,

998
00:51:26,464 --> 00:51:28,904
Speaker 1: let's do it. But then I went back and rewatched

999
00:51:28,944 --> 00:51:32,144
Speaker 1: season one again as an actual contestant, and I was like,

1000
00:51:32,304 --> 00:51:36,304
Speaker 1: oh shit, that actually looks a lot harder. And it

1001
00:51:36,384 --> 00:51:39,264
Speaker 1: was really close to the shooting date, and so there

1002
00:51:39,304 --> 00:51:42,664
Speaker 1: was no time I'd lost on my hair earlier that year,

1003
00:51:43,064 --> 00:51:46,584
Speaker 1: so I hadn't been to the gym. I was pretty unfit,

1004
00:51:47,424 --> 00:51:50,664
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, it all kind of came

1005
00:51:50,984 --> 00:51:53,544
Speaker 1: to me in a real sense of what I was

1006
00:51:53,584 --> 00:51:55,384
Speaker 1: going to have to do. But I was still thinking

1007
00:51:55,424 --> 00:51:57,984
Speaker 1: at that point only about the physical side of it,

1008
00:51:58,384 --> 00:52:01,744
Speaker 1: and potentially the emotional side of it being away from Madigan,

1009
00:52:01,784 --> 00:52:04,464
Speaker 1: because I had never been away from him ever. We've

1010
00:52:04,504 --> 00:52:06,384
Speaker 1: never not spoken, and I knew that once you get

1011
00:52:06,384 --> 00:52:10,704
Speaker 1: on the mountain there was no communication whatsoever. I knew

1012
00:52:10,704 --> 00:52:14,064
Speaker 1: that was going to play with my brain a lot

1013
00:52:14,144 --> 00:52:18,104
Speaker 1: of my emotions. What I didn't realize was because I

1014
00:52:18,144 --> 00:52:21,624
Speaker 1: had been in this really dark place and I'd lost

1015
00:52:21,664 --> 00:52:25,424
Speaker 1: all my hair, and i'd been in hiding that you

1016
00:52:25,464 --> 00:52:28,104
Speaker 1: know you're there, and the next thing you're with all

1017
00:52:28,144 --> 00:52:30,664
Speaker 1: these people that you don't know from a bar soap.

1018
00:52:31,224 --> 00:52:34,184
Speaker 1: They're all very big personalities, and then you've got cameras,

1019
00:52:34,184 --> 00:52:37,384
Speaker 1: although you know the cameras do try and keep away

1020
00:52:37,424 --> 00:52:39,144
Speaker 1: a little bit. So you're kind of in this little

1021
00:52:39,144 --> 00:52:43,384
Speaker 1: bubble on the mountain with these random people and they've

1022
00:52:43,384 --> 00:52:45,424
Speaker 1: got their big personalities, and everyone's trying to get their

1023
00:52:45,424 --> 00:52:47,944
Speaker 1: five minutes of fame and their views across and they

1024
00:52:47,984 --> 00:52:51,064
Speaker 1: want to be the alpha and everything, and I wasn't

1025
00:52:51,144 --> 00:52:54,744
Speaker 1: prepared for that kind of environment. I wasn't prepared for

1026
00:52:54,744 --> 00:52:57,144
Speaker 1: the cameras. Again, I didn't think about it. I didn't

1027
00:52:57,144 --> 00:53:01,424
Speaker 1: think it through, and I wasn't prepared for all the

1028
00:53:01,464 --> 00:53:05,544
Speaker 1: big personalities that seem to be very, very comfortable in

1029
00:53:05,584 --> 00:53:07,704
Speaker 1: front of I should have been the one comfortable in

1030
00:53:07,704 --> 00:53:12,064
Speaker 1: front of the king. Yeah, interesting, okay, but I wasn't okay,

1031
00:53:12,104 --> 00:53:15,984
Speaker 1: and I just well, I didn't speak like I'm glad

1032
00:53:16,024 --> 00:53:18,024
Speaker 1: that you could sort of see what was happening to me.

1033
00:53:18,224 --> 00:53:20,664
Speaker 3: You walk away with one hundred thousand, it's all right.

1034
00:53:20,624 --> 00:53:22,704
Speaker 1: Two thousand, yeah, which is better than nothing.

1035
00:53:22,544 --> 00:53:25,624
Speaker 3: So better than nothing. What have you done with the money,

1036
00:53:25,664 --> 00:53:30,024
Speaker 3: And tell me how you're feeling now post that post

1037
00:53:30,104 --> 00:53:33,184
Speaker 3: coming out of this place you've been in, about what's

1038
00:53:33,264 --> 00:53:34,424
Speaker 3: next and what are the plans?

1039
00:53:35,504 --> 00:53:39,024
Speaker 1: Right? Well, certainly the one hundred thousand is enough to

1040
00:53:39,104 --> 00:53:41,864
Speaker 1: take the pressure off a little bit. It's not enough

1041
00:53:41,904 --> 00:53:44,384
Speaker 1: to build. So this shed here that we spend a

1042
00:53:44,424 --> 00:53:46,784
Speaker 1: lot of time in isn't a livable space.

1043
00:53:47,024 --> 00:53:48,264
Speaker 3: It's not a proper house.

1044
00:53:48,864 --> 00:53:50,744
Speaker 1: It's not a proper house, and it's not a legal house.

1045
00:53:50,984 --> 00:53:53,944
Speaker 1: I'm not allowed to live in it. It's legal shed,

1046
00:53:54,304 --> 00:53:56,264
Speaker 1: and I can work out of it. The businesses here,

1047
00:53:56,384 --> 00:53:59,544
Speaker 1: everything's fine, but it can never and can never be

1048
00:53:59,624 --> 00:54:03,184
Speaker 1: sold as a residence. So the only option i'd have

1049
00:54:03,224 --> 00:54:05,264
Speaker 1: to build another. And I love the shed. I love

1050
00:54:05,544 --> 00:54:07,344
Speaker 1: what I did here, so I know that I could

1051
00:54:07,384 --> 00:54:10,224
Speaker 1: build another one and do it quite cheaply. In my head,

1052
00:54:10,944 --> 00:54:13,944
Speaker 1: I thought I could do it for about two hundred grand.

1053
00:54:14,424 --> 00:54:16,104
Speaker 1: There would be a lot of work. That wouldn't be

1054
00:54:16,104 --> 00:54:17,984
Speaker 1: a good kitchen, that wouldn't be good bathrooms, but you know,

1055
00:54:17,984 --> 00:54:20,304
Speaker 1: I could get the bones up. I can't do that

1056
00:54:21,104 --> 00:54:24,024
Speaker 1: with one hundred thousand. There's just no way. So unfortunately

1057
00:54:24,024 --> 00:54:27,784
Speaker 1: it's a bit boring. I've got dead of course, Yeah,

1058
00:54:27,864 --> 00:54:31,664
Speaker 1: the money will go that way. And then right now

1059
00:54:31,784 --> 00:54:35,024
Speaker 1: I'm feeling quite confident. I feel like I'm going to

1060
00:54:35,024 --> 00:54:36,464
Speaker 1: be able to do a bit of the lap. I

1061
00:54:36,464 --> 00:54:38,224
Speaker 1: know I can't leave my dad for very long.

1062
00:54:38,544 --> 00:54:42,624
Speaker 3: So your dad is still with us, and he's still unwell.

1063
00:54:42,944 --> 00:54:45,464
Speaker 1: He's still just living with cancer. Yeah, that he's on

1064
00:54:45,504 --> 00:54:49,384
Speaker 1: his own, so I'm still I'm not a paid care anymore,

1065
00:54:49,544 --> 00:54:55,384
Speaker 1: but I certainly am his person from you know, technology,

1066
00:54:55,464 --> 00:54:57,504
Speaker 1: like he doesn't have a mobile file, I'll have a computer.

1067
00:54:57,624 --> 00:54:59,344
Speaker 1: You know, I've got to help him with his smart TV.

1068
00:54:59,584 --> 00:55:02,064
Speaker 3: And so you are caring for him, not in a

1069
00:55:02,144 --> 00:55:03,064
Speaker 3: medical but yes, yeah.

1070
00:55:03,104 --> 00:55:05,064
Speaker 1: And I cook for him, you know, probably three or

1071
00:55:05,064 --> 00:55:07,784
Speaker 1: four nights a week, but I don't get paid for it.

1072
00:55:07,904 --> 00:55:09,104
Speaker 3: So of course I.

1073
00:55:09,064 --> 00:55:11,264
Speaker 1: Know that we could get something in place there. And

1074
00:55:11,344 --> 00:55:14,064
Speaker 1: so the plan is now, if I can pay these

1075
00:55:14,104 --> 00:55:16,744
Speaker 1: debts off, I don't have that to build the other

1076
00:55:17,024 --> 00:55:20,144
Speaker 1: shed house shouse, so that just has to sit on

1077
00:55:20,184 --> 00:55:22,904
Speaker 1: the back burner now for god knows how long. But

1078
00:55:23,504 --> 00:55:26,544
Speaker 1: what I could do is put a bit more money

1079
00:55:26,544 --> 00:55:30,184
Speaker 1: into the business. This is the plan while that stock

1080
00:55:30,304 --> 00:55:32,584
Speaker 1: is being made, because it takes a while Mad's and

1081
00:55:32,624 --> 00:55:35,384
Speaker 1: I could hit the road for a little bit. Like

1082
00:55:35,424 --> 00:55:39,784
Speaker 1: it's not it's probably not the best financial idea I've had,

1083
00:55:41,744 --> 00:55:45,664
Speaker 1: but life is it's too short. Like I've got four

1084
00:55:45,704 --> 00:55:48,584
Speaker 1: years left with Madigan in the house. So if I

1085
00:55:48,624 --> 00:55:51,344
Speaker 1: don't do that now while I've got a bit of

1086
00:55:51,384 --> 00:55:53,664
Speaker 1: cash to do it, I won't get to do it

1087
00:55:53,744 --> 00:55:56,984
Speaker 1: if we just sit here and wait until he's eighteen.

1088
00:55:57,184 --> 00:55:59,744
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is the thing is that you It sounds

1089
00:55:59,784 --> 00:56:01,224
Speaker 3: to me. I don't want to put words in your mouth.

1090
00:56:01,264 --> 00:56:04,184
Speaker 3: But your values are you want to spend time with

1091
00:56:04,224 --> 00:56:06,584
Speaker 3: your kid, you want to make memories and have adventures

1092
00:56:06,624 --> 00:56:07,784
Speaker 3: and go to place you want to go.

1093
00:56:08,104 --> 00:56:08,944
Speaker 1: Well, we can't.

1094
00:56:08,984 --> 00:56:12,184
Speaker 3: Those things are not free, because nothing is. But their

1095
00:56:12,264 --> 00:56:14,904
Speaker 3: choices you can make that are more meaningful perhaps than

1096
00:56:14,944 --> 00:56:15,784
Speaker 3: some others.

1097
00:56:16,104 --> 00:56:18,784
Speaker 1: Well that's what I believe. I believe. If we don't

1098
00:56:18,784 --> 00:56:20,744
Speaker 1: do it now, who knows what's around the corner, you know.

1099
00:56:21,624 --> 00:56:24,144
Speaker 1: And I want him just to have the best start

1100
00:56:24,184 --> 00:56:28,624
Speaker 1: in life. And I just don't believe sitting here going

1101
00:56:29,264 --> 00:56:32,904
Speaker 1: to earth school. I would rather have the adventure and

1102
00:56:33,064 --> 00:56:35,904
Speaker 1: sett him on a path that could just open up

1103
00:56:35,944 --> 00:56:39,584
Speaker 1: all the doors for him. People who sometimes just get

1104
00:56:39,624 --> 00:56:42,104
Speaker 1: stuck in one place, you know, you think that's your life.

1105
00:56:42,144 --> 00:56:44,584
Speaker 1: That's how it's got to be. By doing this with

1106
00:56:44,704 --> 00:56:48,024
Speaker 1: him now and showing him and telling him, like the

1107
00:56:48,064 --> 00:56:50,504
Speaker 1: way I've lived my life, because he says, oh, you

1108
00:56:50,504 --> 00:56:52,264
Speaker 1: know what if I just finished school and then what

1109
00:56:52,304 --> 00:56:54,744
Speaker 1: am I going to do after that? Am I just

1110
00:56:54,744 --> 00:56:56,424
Speaker 1: going to go to the same job, do the same

1111
00:56:56,464 --> 00:56:58,264
Speaker 1: thing day after day? And I'm like, no, look at

1112
00:56:58,264 --> 00:57:00,424
Speaker 1: my life, look at what I've done. You can spin

1113
00:57:00,504 --> 00:57:02,984
Speaker 1: and pivot at any point if you really want to

1114
00:57:03,544 --> 00:57:06,224
Speaker 1: if you're not financially driven.

1115
00:57:06,264 --> 00:57:09,984
Speaker 3: I guess yeah, for sure, we've probably been talking too long.

1116
00:57:09,984 --> 00:57:12,304
Speaker 3: I'm sure, or my producer would say so. But I

1117
00:57:12,344 --> 00:57:15,344
Speaker 3: have two things I really want to ask you before

1118
00:57:15,464 --> 00:57:18,464
Speaker 3: we wrap up. The first is about you said before.

1119
00:57:18,824 --> 00:57:21,584
Speaker 3: You know, it's a fact actually that on the fastest

1120
00:57:21,624 --> 00:57:25,224
Speaker 3: group of people becoming homeless of women in their midlife, right,

1121
00:57:25,824 --> 00:57:27,944
Speaker 3: And I know that to a certain extent, the way

1122
00:57:27,944 --> 00:57:30,264
Speaker 3: that you're living is a choice, but it's also an

1123
00:57:30,304 --> 00:57:32,504
Speaker 3: affordable way for you to be able to live your

1124
00:57:32,504 --> 00:57:34,624
Speaker 3: life how you want to live it. Through your work

1125
00:57:34,664 --> 00:57:36,864
Speaker 3: with single parents community and so to. Have you heard

1126
00:57:36,864 --> 00:57:39,384
Speaker 3: about a lot of people who are really struggling in

1127
00:57:39,384 --> 00:57:40,304
Speaker 3: that circumstance.

1128
00:57:41,224 --> 00:57:44,624
Speaker 1: Oh, look, they're always struggling, but they're even more so

1129
00:57:45,344 --> 00:57:50,744
Speaker 1: now because of the housing crisis. I mean, it's so hard.

1130
00:57:51,264 --> 00:57:53,504
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how else to help, other

1131
00:57:53,544 --> 00:57:55,904
Speaker 1: than to get word out, Like my business doesn't do

1132
00:57:56,304 --> 00:57:59,144
Speaker 1: enough to be able to give much. I've had some

1133
00:57:59,224 --> 00:58:03,104
Speaker 1: amazing customers though, who have donated to the single Mums

1134
00:58:03,464 --> 00:58:07,104
Speaker 1: and their Children's charity that I work with, and I

1135
00:58:07,184 --> 00:58:10,104
Speaker 1: know every little bit helps, but it's just just a

1136
00:58:10,144 --> 00:58:13,464
Speaker 1: real I don't know what we need to do as

1137
00:58:13,504 --> 00:58:17,184
Speaker 1: a community, but we need to do something because you

1138
00:58:17,224 --> 00:58:19,264
Speaker 1: can't have people out on the streetlight that. You can't

1139
00:58:19,264 --> 00:58:21,864
Speaker 1: have single mums out on the street, missing.

1140
00:58:21,584 --> 00:58:24,344
Speaker 3: Meals, kids living in cars, kids.

1141
00:58:24,224 --> 00:58:28,024
Speaker 1: Living in cars. You know, I after the first year

1142
00:58:28,024 --> 00:58:30,344
Speaker 1: of starting Wandering, I was either the first year was okay,

1143
00:58:30,344 --> 00:58:34,424
Speaker 1: but then the second year was not. And you know,

1144
00:58:34,504 --> 00:58:36,504
Speaker 1: there was times in that year. I mean, I have

1145
00:58:36,584 --> 00:58:39,104
Speaker 1: to go without heat and air con. That's just what

1146
00:58:39,184 --> 00:58:41,504
Speaker 1: I have to do to get by. But there was

1147
00:58:41,544 --> 00:58:44,184
Speaker 1: a time that I was like, oh my god, medication

1148
00:58:44,264 --> 00:58:46,944
Speaker 1: am I going to be able to afford that? I

1149
00:58:47,064 --> 00:58:49,184
Speaker 1: was faced with it too, and I called to Rees,

1150
00:58:50,024 --> 00:58:52,384
Speaker 1: who's the head of that charity, and I was like, look,

1151
00:58:52,424 --> 00:58:54,424
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be able to do much because

1152
00:58:54,544 --> 00:58:56,984
Speaker 1: I'm actually now one of the people that I wanted

1153
00:58:57,024 --> 00:59:01,384
Speaker 1: to help, Like, I'm actually that person deciding if I

1154
00:59:01,424 --> 00:59:06,064
Speaker 1: should get my medication or not. So yeah, it's just hard,

1155
00:59:06,424 --> 00:59:08,944
Speaker 1: It's really hard, and I just wish there was something

1156
00:59:08,984 --> 00:59:09,864
Speaker 1: more I could do.

1157
00:59:10,904 --> 00:59:12,744
Speaker 3: It sounds like, you know, as you say, getting the

1158
00:59:12,744 --> 00:59:15,024
Speaker 3: word out and doing what you're doing through Wandering Ossie

1159
00:59:15,184 --> 00:59:18,624
Speaker 3: is definitely helping because people don't think enough about what

1160
00:59:18,664 --> 00:59:20,664
Speaker 3: everyone's going through. The Other thing I really wanted to

1161
00:59:20,664 --> 00:59:22,984
Speaker 3: ask you is for a woman who's listening to this

1162
00:59:23,144 --> 00:59:26,144
Speaker 3: who feels like she's at one of those moments where

1163
00:59:27,304 --> 00:59:29,664
Speaker 3: all the plans have fallen a heap. You've been through

1164
00:59:29,664 --> 00:59:32,224
Speaker 3: a few of them, as we've discussed today. All the

1165
00:59:32,264 --> 00:59:35,744
Speaker 3: plans have fallen in a heap. She's got responsibilities, she's

1166
00:59:35,744 --> 00:59:38,024
Speaker 3: got no idea what life's going to look like in

1167
00:59:38,064 --> 00:59:42,704
Speaker 3: a few months or a year. Midlife can bash your confidence,

1168
00:59:42,704 --> 00:59:45,264
Speaker 3: as we've discussed, have you got words of wisdom?

1169
00:59:45,344 --> 00:59:45,424
Speaker 1: Like?

1170
00:59:45,464 --> 00:59:46,344
Speaker 3: What gets you through?

1171
00:59:46,904 --> 00:59:49,624
Speaker 1: I warned you at the beginning. No wisdom here.

1172
00:59:49,944 --> 00:59:52,504
Speaker 3: I think there's wisdom. How the hell have you got

1173
00:59:52,504 --> 00:59:53,944
Speaker 3: through some of those things?

1174
00:59:54,384 --> 00:59:56,904
Speaker 1: Well? You know what I reckon? It goes back to

1175
00:59:56,984 --> 01:00:00,224
Speaker 1: being a dancer and an actor as well, because there's

1176
01:00:00,264 --> 01:00:04,464
Speaker 1: a lot of knockbacks in both of those worlds, and

1177
01:00:04,584 --> 01:00:09,064
Speaker 1: you have to become very resilient and you have to

1178
01:00:09,144 --> 01:00:12,824
Speaker 1: take the knox and you have to get back up. Otherwise,

1179
01:00:13,664 --> 01:00:15,864
Speaker 1: what is there? Like I did it for years as

1180
01:00:15,864 --> 01:00:18,424
Speaker 1: a dancer, you know, I go for twenty auditions and

1181
01:00:18,464 --> 01:00:20,944
Speaker 1: maybe I'll get one. As an actor, it was way worse.

1182
01:00:20,944 --> 01:00:23,064
Speaker 1: I go for one hundred auditions and maybe get one,

1183
01:00:23,864 --> 01:00:27,024
Speaker 1: so you kind of get used to being knocked down.

1184
01:00:27,504 --> 01:00:29,504
Speaker 1: And then as a single parent, you know you've got

1185
01:00:29,544 --> 01:00:33,024
Speaker 1: the added weight. I don't know, You've just got to

1186
01:00:33,144 --> 01:00:34,304
Speaker 1: you just got to keep fighting.

1187
01:00:34,904 --> 01:00:37,184
Speaker 3: And I guess what some people have said is that

1188
01:00:37,224 --> 01:00:39,384
Speaker 3: you never know what's going to happen next, you know

1189
01:00:39,424 --> 01:00:42,864
Speaker 3: what I mean, Like life throws you some bizarre curveballs sometimes.

1190
01:00:42,944 --> 01:00:44,704
Speaker 3: I mean, that's a cliche, but it's true.

1191
01:00:45,504 --> 01:00:48,824
Speaker 1: It's so true. And that's why I keep wanting to

1192
01:00:49,144 --> 01:00:53,464
Speaker 1: live life, you know, because nothing is certain. I just

1193
01:00:53,504 --> 01:00:55,624
Speaker 1: want to live the best life that I possibly can

1194
01:00:55,664 --> 01:00:57,384
Speaker 1: while I'm here, and I wanted to do as much

1195
01:00:57,424 --> 01:01:00,384
Speaker 1: as I possibly can with my son and give him

1196
01:01:00,384 --> 01:01:03,784
Speaker 1: the best start. It's a life. I told you there

1197
01:01:03,784 --> 01:01:04,544
Speaker 1: was no wisdom.

1198
01:01:04,864 --> 01:01:08,824
Speaker 3: No, that is wisdom. Look at you, it is wisdom.

1199
01:01:09,264 --> 01:01:10,744
Speaker 3: Oh well, thank you so much.

1200
01:01:10,744 --> 01:01:11,584
Speaker 1: Ah, thank you.

1201
01:01:15,224 --> 01:01:17,784
Speaker 3: Look, I need to tell you about Simone, even though

1202
01:01:17,784 --> 01:01:20,704
Speaker 3: she just did an excellent job of telling you about herself.

1203
01:01:21,304 --> 01:01:23,504
Speaker 3: She recorded that with us from her shed on the

1204
01:01:23,544 --> 01:01:25,784
Speaker 3: mid North coast of New South Wales, as the rain

1205
01:01:25,904 --> 01:01:28,864
Speaker 3: pelted down on her tin roof and her son played

1206
01:01:28,904 --> 01:01:31,584
Speaker 3: with the rescue dogs on the floor for a woman

1207
01:01:31,584 --> 01:01:34,224
Speaker 3: who's been through such a lot. Her beauty and her

1208
01:01:34,384 --> 01:01:37,464
Speaker 3: very open energy just kind of pomped through the camera.

1209
01:01:37,904 --> 01:01:41,144
Speaker 3: And we did video that conversation. We always do video them,

1210
01:01:41,384 --> 01:01:43,304
Speaker 3: but we had a tech problem, which meant you're not

1211
01:01:43,344 --> 01:01:45,544
Speaker 3: going to see it, and I'm sorry about that, but

1212
01:01:45,624 --> 01:01:48,424
Speaker 3: I could have talked to her for a week. We

1213
01:01:48,584 --> 01:01:51,464
Speaker 3: talk about living a life full of stories, and I'm

1214
01:01:51,504 --> 01:01:54,224
Speaker 3: not sure there's a clearer example than that conversation. We

1215
01:01:54,464 --> 01:01:57,344
Speaker 3: just had a midwoman who's refusing to give up on

1216
01:01:57,384 --> 01:01:59,504
Speaker 3: the life she wants, no matter how hard it is.

1217
01:01:59,984 --> 01:02:03,264
Speaker 3: I just loved it. I'm always really energized by talking

1218
01:02:03,264 --> 01:02:05,104
Speaker 3: to people about the things that light them up. And

1219
01:02:05,184 --> 01:02:07,984
Speaker 3: what lit Simone up with definitely her son and the

1220
01:02:08,024 --> 01:02:10,784
Speaker 3: time and the adventures that she wants to have with him.

1221
01:02:10,824 --> 01:02:13,904
Speaker 3: And I totally get it. Times ticking away, I feel

1222
01:02:13,984 --> 01:02:15,824
Speaker 3: like as your kids are growing up, and you're like, but.

1223
01:02:15,744 --> 01:02:17,904
Speaker 1: There's so much I want to do with you.

1224
01:02:17,744 --> 01:02:24,424
Speaker 3: Before you fly the nest. Friends, please remember to scroll

1225
01:02:24,464 --> 01:02:27,024
Speaker 3: back in this feed to hear more stories of overcoming

1226
01:02:27,024 --> 01:02:30,504
Speaker 3: remarkable stuff, like my conversation with Julie Goodwin about mental

1227
01:02:30,504 --> 01:02:32,664
Speaker 3: health and the moment her life was saved by a

1228
01:02:32,664 --> 01:02:35,944
Speaker 3: couple of strangers and their puppy, or with Christine Arnau,

1229
01:02:36,264 --> 01:02:39,704
Speaker 3: who spoke to me about rebuilding herself after divorce and

1230
01:02:39,744 --> 01:02:41,864
Speaker 3: facing up to the parts we all play in the

1231
01:02:41,904 --> 01:02:46,104
Speaker 3: moments that derail us. Just enormous Thanks to you mids

1232
01:02:46,424 --> 01:02:49,544
Speaker 3: for embracing our show and to the team who helped

1233
01:02:49,544 --> 01:02:53,184
Speaker 3: put it together, led by our amazing executive producer Nama

1234
01:02:53,224 --> 01:02:56,984
Speaker 3: Brown and including sound design from Tom Lyon and production

1235
01:02:57,344 --> 01:03:01,424
Speaker 3: from Telissa Bazzazz. Go and follow us, Share this episode

1236
01:03:01,424 --> 01:03:03,944
Speaker 3: with a friend, throw us alike. It means the world.

1237
01:03:04,344 --> 01:03:08,584
Speaker 3: I'll see you here next week for a conversation about rage.

1238
01:03:09,424 --> 01:03:12,024
Speaker 3: I know you feel it. I'll see you back here.

1239
01:03:15,624 --> 01:03:15,664
Speaker 1: H