WEBVTT - What We Did Before 9am 0:00:08.234 --> 0:00:10.914 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 0:00:16.354 --> 0:00:19.314 Hello, and welcome to MoMA Mia out loud. 0:00:20.314 --> 0:00:24.794 I was just noticed that it's Friday the thirteenth. I 0:00:24.954 --> 0:00:29.114 was all like, very woot about everything and very upbeat, 0:00:29.154 --> 0:00:31.354 and now I'm like, oh, how is it the thirteenth 0:00:31.474 --> 0:00:32.194 on a Friday. 0:00:32.554 --> 0:00:33.114 We don't like that. 0:00:33.394 --> 0:00:35.754 It was Friday the thirteenth last month too. 0:00:36.114 --> 0:00:36.873 Something's happening. 0:00:36.914 --> 0:00:40.953 This is a haunted year. Yeah, we will. 0:00:40.833 --> 0:00:43.994 Endeavor to keep the demons at bay. On today's show. 0:00:44.153 --> 0:00:46.873 My name is Holly wayIn Wright. My name is EMM Vernon. 0:00:47.193 --> 0:00:50.434 In the script it says my name's Esse Stephens, but I'm. 0:00:50.273 --> 0:00:54.594 Not hopefully out louders already today you have heard our 0:00:54.674 --> 0:00:57.594 Jesse Stephens because we're dropping this on a Friday, as 0:00:57.594 --> 0:01:00.914 we always do. But you also already got a little trere, 0:01:01.273 --> 0:01:04.754 which was Jesse Stephens's story all about the birth of 0:01:04.754 --> 0:01:07.194 her twins. So if you haven't listened to that and 0:01:07.234 --> 0:01:10.994 you're interested, please do. If you're not interested, that's fine. 0:01:10.754 --> 0:01:11.634 That's absolutely. 0:01:12.474 --> 0:01:13.434 It was more for her. 0:01:16.034 --> 0:01:19.714 She wanted to yell to share some stuff went down, 0:01:20.074 --> 0:01:21.354 and the out louders need to know. 0:01:21.514 --> 0:01:25.114 Good point anyway, here on our twin free show, except 0:01:25.194 --> 0:01:28.194 not because Claire's with us. Anyway. Here's what's made our 0:01:28.234 --> 0:01:30.554 agenda for today good news. 0:01:30.194 --> 0:01:32.554 For the emotional girlies like myself. 0:01:32.594 --> 0:01:34.954 We no longer need to listen to the boy bosses 0:01:34.994 --> 0:01:37.914 of the world because it actually is okay to cry 0:01:38.194 --> 0:01:38.714 at work? 0:01:39.034 --> 0:01:39.673 Oh is it? 0:01:39.834 --> 0:01:43.674 And how do you implement an opening shift in your 0:01:43.874 --> 0:01:46.754 morning routine to just make your day a bit more 0:01:46.874 --> 0:01:48.554 organized and calmer. 0:01:48.834 --> 0:01:52.634 Recommendations are going to include a TV show that everyone 0:01:52.754 --> 0:01:55.514 is telling me to watch and now including I am. Yes, 0:01:55.954 --> 0:01:57.554 Claire has an excellent. 0:01:57.114 --> 0:02:01.354 Book and I might just have the perfect background watch. 0:02:01.234 --> 0:02:03.794 For Saturday morning cleaning. You know how you got to 0:02:03.834 --> 0:02:05.634 do chores on Saturday mornings, do you? 0:02:05.874 --> 0:02:08.674 Yeah? Some of us do. Some of us do. 0:02:08.834 --> 0:02:11.954 I love having the TV on and then folding washing, 0:02:11.994 --> 0:02:13.194 but I'm really watching the TV. 0:02:13.954 --> 0:02:16.034 I've got you, I've got you with my reco today. 0:02:16.434 --> 0:02:19.714 But first look, it's the Oscars on Monday. We're going 0:02:19.794 --> 0:02:22.274 to do a special little Oscar segment on the Monday 0:02:22.274 --> 0:02:25.074 Show on Monday afternoon. But if you want to sound 0:02:25.114 --> 0:02:27.674 like you know what you're talking about over the weekend 0:02:27.714 --> 0:02:30.394 when you're hanging out with people, we have some very 0:02:30.394 --> 0:02:34.034 stupid predictions for you about what's going to happen. Yeah, 0:02:34.074 --> 0:02:35.954 and you can take them on you cannot. You can 0:02:35.994 --> 0:02:37.554 hold them against us on Monday afternoon. 0:02:37.594 --> 0:02:39.994 It's fine. We don't care. First one that I. 0:02:39.954 --> 0:02:44.834 Predict everyone at the Oscars party will be dressed really boring. 0:02:44.874 --> 0:02:47.274 You know, there's no color anymore. Everyone's just wearing. 0:02:47.034 --> 0:02:50.953 Black, beige, whatever until the Vanity Fair party, Yes, when 0:02:51.074 --> 0:02:51.954 everyone will be naked. 0:02:52.234 --> 0:02:54.714 So annoying. I wish they dressed like that for the 0:02:54.714 --> 0:02:55.634 actual Oscars. 0:02:55.754 --> 0:02:58.674 I do think naked is encroaching on formal events. I 0:02:58.714 --> 0:03:00.793 think that they I think we could have some nudity 0:03:00.954 --> 0:03:01.314 I hope. 0:03:01.354 --> 0:03:01.434 So. 0:03:01.674 --> 0:03:03.554 Yeah, it makes things more interesting, especially if it's the 0:03:03.634 --> 0:03:07.714 guys the Grammys and Justin Bieber's just performing in his Yeah, 0:03:07.834 --> 0:03:10.234 maybe we could see that from Challa mate. Maybe he 0:03:10.394 --> 0:03:13.674 just tries to claw back his reputation by turning up 0:03:13.674 --> 0:03:15.994 on the red carpet in orange boxes. Yeah and a 0:03:16.034 --> 0:03:16.634 bow tie. 0:03:16.754 --> 0:03:19.754 We already saw his bottom in his movie we did. 0:03:20.194 --> 0:03:22.994 Everyone will be very very thin. We already know that, right. 0:03:23.074 --> 0:03:25.914 We are in the era of the skinny skinniness, so 0:03:26.034 --> 0:03:28.954 we'll be like naked and skinny. I predict that Kylie 0:03:28.954 --> 0:03:31.073 won't walk with Timothy because the vibes are bad. Now, 0:03:31.594 --> 0:03:32.754 I think she's not going to do that. 0:03:33.314 --> 0:03:35.514 You know what one of my Kylie predictions is is 0:03:35.554 --> 0:03:39.354 that because the F one movie is also nominated, Lewis 0:03:39.394 --> 0:03:42.914 Hamilton's going to come with Kim Kardashian to the Vanity 0:03:42.914 --> 0:03:45.834 Fair party for sure. For sure with his plus one 0:03:45.914 --> 0:03:48.274 Kim Kardashian and the sisters will have to sit next 0:03:48.314 --> 0:03:48.794 to each other. 0:03:49.314 --> 0:03:52.514 Okay, my question about Lewis Hamilton will he be like? 0:03:52.634 --> 0:03:53.434 Is he associated? 0:03:53.514 --> 0:03:57.234 He's a producer on that film that and that film 0:03:57.354 --> 0:03:59.634 is one of the best Oscar nominations because you know, 0:03:59.674 --> 0:04:01.514 now they have a longer list so that they can 0:04:01.554 --> 0:04:03.914 pretend that they're being inclusive to movies that people actually 0:04:03.954 --> 0:04:05.434 want to go and watch. And he did pretty well 0:04:05.434 --> 0:04:08.674 in Ferrari last week, so feeling good about himself. You 0:04:08.794 --> 0:04:12.154 might be right about that, could be doing that. 0:04:12.354 --> 0:04:14.754 I really like that. I do like when my celebrities 0:04:14.794 --> 0:04:17.514 pop up where I least expect them, really enjoy that. 0:04:17.753 --> 0:04:21.834 I predict we'll be excessively excited about our two Australian nominations, 0:04:21.834 --> 0:04:23.474 which are for mister or Lordie. 0:04:23.474 --> 0:04:25.834 I predict he will be tall. 0:04:26.274 --> 0:04:28.914 Yes, I think he'll be tall and sexy. 0:04:29.274 --> 0:04:31.674 Probably go with his mom because that's his vibe. Very Leo. 0:04:32.753 --> 0:04:37.514 So even though he's bloody dating that girl supermodel, Yeah, 0:04:37.674 --> 0:04:38.914 who's got naughty parents? 0:04:39.073 --> 0:04:40.474 Anyway, her fault. 0:04:41.953 --> 0:04:45.593 She want a university college admission scan. 0:04:45.553 --> 0:04:48.313 No, I remember that. Yes, she was one of the 0:04:48.354 --> 0:04:49.674 colins and he's dating her. 0:04:50.034 --> 0:04:50.834 She's really pretty. 0:04:50.834 --> 0:04:54.633 Maybe he'll get a new haircut like Margo, because Margo 0:04:54.714 --> 0:04:57.353 has like signaled Wuthering Heights is done with a bob. 0:04:57.474 --> 0:05:00.954 She chopped it out, chopped off. Jacob might shave his head. 0:05:00.993 --> 0:05:01.954 We're going to get to shave. 0:05:03.794 --> 0:05:06.394 Roseburn obviously is also nominated. She's not going to win. 0:05:06.433 --> 0:05:11.873 No offense. Burn, I think you're second in line. It's probability, 0:05:10.914 --> 0:05:16.553 but I hope there's no lizard convention happening. I husband, 0:05:16.594 --> 0:05:19.873 when she won, was off buying a bearded dragon or something. 0:05:19.953 --> 0:05:21.193 Some reptils shouldn't be a pet. 0:05:21.234 --> 0:05:24.154 Yeah, I definitely shouldn't. He might have been eaten by it. 0:05:24.513 --> 0:05:26.954 He definitely won't be there. That may serve him right. 0:05:27.873 --> 0:05:30.473 Conan O'Brien is hosting. I predict he'll be funny, but 0:05:30.513 --> 0:05:32.154 no one there as funny as Nicki Glazer at. 0:05:32.034 --> 0:05:32.633 The Golden Globe. 0:05:32.753 --> 0:05:36.313 No, because Nikki crosses the line and that's what I want. 0:05:36.474 --> 0:05:39.993 I hope Conan O'Brien makes some current jokes, some ballet 0:05:40.113 --> 0:05:41.433 jokes made, some ballet jokes. 0:05:41.513 --> 0:05:44.553 I reckon, we might get ballet jokes, but I reckon, 0:05:44.553 --> 0:05:47.113 we won't get politics. I think we won't get politics. 0:05:47.113 --> 0:05:48.993 And I also think they're going to be like super 0:05:49.034 --> 0:05:52.674 happy on the censor button after everything that's happened recently. 0:05:52.714 --> 0:05:55.074 With that, it'll be like giving Kyle and Jackiel a 0:05:55.154 --> 0:05:57.634 run for their money on the like, can't say that, 0:05:57.914 --> 0:05:58.433 can say that? 0:05:58.834 --> 0:06:03.034 What do you mean? I say, very true, lots of that. 0:06:03.274 --> 0:06:08.073 Yeah, yeah, I reckon so my predictions, And I will 0:06:08.274 --> 0:06:11.474 caveat this by saying I'm going off vibes only because 0:06:11.513 --> 0:06:14.713 I've only seen a handful of the movie. I'm only 0:06:14.753 --> 0:06:18.474 going off vibes. One battle after another is gonna win 0:06:18.594 --> 0:06:22.553 Best Picture. But that pisses me off because I've already 0:06:22.594 --> 0:06:24.873 seen that movie. I haven't seen that movie, but I've 0:06:24.873 --> 0:06:26.434 seen that movie. 0:06:26.433 --> 0:06:29.713 What you mean, Yes, you're like, that's a movie the 0:06:29.794 --> 0:06:31.234 type of which I have already seen. 0:06:31.674 --> 0:06:33.034 Paul Thomas Anderson. 0:06:32.873 --> 0:06:36.834 Correct, and even the titles boring. It's like one battle 0:06:36.834 --> 0:06:38.034 after another, like. 0:06:38.034 --> 0:06:39.753 You know what I mean, Like it is true, like 0:06:39.914 --> 0:06:42.313 you have a battle and then there will be another one. 0:06:43.193 --> 0:06:49.033 I guess I just like Sinners needs that like originality, 0:06:49.433 --> 0:06:52.394 it trumps it every single time. I do think Timmy 0:06:52.474 --> 0:06:55.633 won't win Best Act out he needs a bit of 0:06:55.714 --> 0:06:59.034 Leo where you've just got to be patient, mate, Lea, 0:06:59.354 --> 0:07:00.274 Like he's gonna. 0:07:00.073 --> 0:07:01.034 Sit there Leo again. 0:07:01.073 --> 0:07:02.713 See what are the people I always feel sorry for 0:07:02.834 --> 0:07:06.234 is when you're in the awards circuit but you're definitely 0:07:06.313 --> 0:07:08.674 not gonna win. So for example, Emma Stone is nominated 0:07:08.674 --> 0:07:10.754 this year, it's not her year. No one's even pretending 0:07:10.794 --> 0:07:12.634 it's her year. She's already won it, so that's fine, 0:07:12.834 --> 0:07:13.393 but like. 0:07:13.594 --> 0:07:15.594 She still has to go. She does put the dress on, 0:07:16.034 --> 0:07:19.114 but no one thinks, not even one person, not even 0:07:19.114 --> 0:07:20.834 pull the dead octopus thinks. 0:07:20.634 --> 0:07:21.994 Not even no. 0:07:22.554 --> 0:07:24.314 So it's like and that Leah must be feeling a 0:07:24.314 --> 0:07:25.914 bit like that because he's not gonna win, and he 0:07:25.953 --> 0:07:28.514 hasn't been attending some of them. But no, I think 0:07:28.594 --> 0:07:31.273 Michael B. Jordan is going to win Best Actor. 0:07:31.474 --> 0:07:33.994 Can I tell you that I asked the Maths people 0:07:34.034 --> 0:07:37.514 at one of those proper Hollywood people things said Michael B. 0:07:37.674 --> 0:07:40.434 Jordan by a whisker they put apparently they like crunched 0:07:40.474 --> 0:07:42.674 all the numbers, blah blah, mats blah blah. 0:07:42.674 --> 0:07:43.074 Michael B. 0:07:43.194 --> 0:07:46.674 Jordan's thirty three point two and Timothy thirty one point three, 0:07:46.874 --> 0:07:48.274 so he's just gonna pip him. 0:07:48.434 --> 0:07:51.074 Well. My unpopular opinion is that he actually should have 0:07:51.074 --> 0:07:53.554 been nominated twice because he played twins and. 0:07:53.474 --> 0:07:55.234 He would know very well. 0:07:55.314 --> 0:07:56.833 Twins are different people. They are. 0:07:57.034 --> 0:07:57.514 They are. 0:07:58.874 --> 0:08:01.514 Like two different people. One was hot, yeah, one with. 0:08:02.034 --> 0:08:04.194 Dimples, the other one didn't have dimples. 0:08:05.514 --> 0:08:08.354 If they had done that nominated him twice, it's like 0:08:08.393 --> 0:08:14.554 Michael B. Jordan, that's for rolling Michael. Fair advantage, but 0:08:14.594 --> 0:08:17.474 also maybe fair fantasy. My I have a next year prediction, 0:08:17.714 --> 0:08:20.914 So I don't think Timothy will win this year. He 0:08:20.994 --> 0:08:23.793 was nominated last year as well. He's becoming and it's. 0:08:23.754 --> 0:08:24.994 Sad but it's fine. 0:08:25.074 --> 0:08:28.393 But I do think Kylie Jenner will win next year 0:08:28.434 --> 0:08:33.514 for Best Supporting Actress in Charlie XCX's mockumentary The Moment. Yes, 0:08:33.554 --> 0:08:35.794 I have, because I saw a clip of that yesterday 0:08:35.834 --> 0:08:37.113 in which Kylie Jenner was. 0:08:37.114 --> 0:08:41.034 Ex I've heard he's really good. 0:08:40.834 --> 0:08:42.914 But she's better than Anyone's. 0:08:42.314 --> 0:08:44.594 A good movie. It's really good. I really enjoyed it. 0:08:44.594 --> 0:08:46.914 It's been fifty to fifty some of to Wuthering Heights. 0:08:46.914 --> 0:08:49.714 People either love it or hate it. Alexander scars Guard 0:08:49.754 --> 0:08:50.954 in it. It's really good. 0:08:50.994 --> 0:08:52.474 But Kylie er steals a show. 0:08:52.754 --> 0:08:54.154 I'd watch him do anything. 0:08:54.554 --> 0:08:58.034 I want to see the rupture between Timothy and Kylie. 0:08:59.914 --> 0:09:01.234 By Timothy so great. 0:09:01.314 --> 0:09:04.354 My last is K Pop Demon Hunters, right, yeah, so 0:09:04.354 --> 0:09:06.474 they're going to win the Best Animated Feature. But they 0:09:06.594 --> 0:09:10.074 also perfer which I just love wow because they're cartoons 0:09:10.074 --> 0:09:12.834 but also a real band. So it really confuses people, 0:09:12.874 --> 0:09:14.794 particularly the old people in the crowd are just like, 0:09:14.834 --> 0:09:17.834 I don't understand. And speaking of Leo, what's funny to 0:09:17.874 --> 0:09:19.994 me as a gen xer is when you see him 0:09:19.994 --> 0:09:22.114 in awards shows now he looks more and more like 0:09:22.194 --> 0:09:24.474 Jack Nicholson did at award shows when I was young. 0:09:24.514 --> 0:09:26.514 So he's like the old guy now, like just making 0:09:26.594 --> 0:09:29.274 jokes and leaning back in his show. Like and it's 0:09:29.314 --> 0:09:31.594 like we've watched him go from. 0:09:31.434 --> 0:09:34.474 Like cool young guy to sad old guy. He doesn't 0:09:34.474 --> 0:09:37.434 know what front he was there the Golden gloves. 0:09:37.474 --> 0:09:39.874 He was like the K pop people, I don't get 0:09:39.914 --> 0:09:40.354 it anyway. 0:09:40.554 --> 0:09:43.354 They will also make sure that no demons infiltrate the event, 0:09:43.394 --> 0:09:46.474 which is gonna be handy. 0:09:46.514 --> 0:09:48.994 We've all had a cry at work, so whether it's 0:09:49.034 --> 0:09:52.234 in the bathroom, in the car park, on the train home, 0:09:52.674 --> 0:09:54.554 that the part of the corner in the office that 0:09:54.554 --> 0:09:57.634 no one really goes to a cause a crying corner. However, 0:09:57.714 --> 0:10:01.554 there's been a general consensus that're crying at work publicly 0:10:01.634 --> 0:10:06.514 in front of your manager or colleagues is unprofessional until now. 0:10:06.794 --> 0:10:10.274 Robert Half conducted a survey about crying in the workplace 0:10:10.394 --> 0:10:13.674 Very Important work, and they surveyed more than two thousand 0:10:13.794 --> 0:10:17.514 c suite leaders. Forty four percent of CFO say that 0:10:17.674 --> 0:10:22.833 occasional workplace cry is acceptable. Thirty percent believe crying at 0:10:22.874 --> 0:10:27.754 work has no negative impact. So when I finished university 0:10:27.914 --> 0:10:30.394 and I was looking for jobs, the only people I 0:10:30.474 --> 0:10:33.154 had to kind of help me were my parents' generation 0:10:33.194 --> 0:10:35.474 because they are the only people who I knew worked, 0:10:35.794 --> 0:10:37.874 and they were like, you have to wear this, you 0:10:37.914 --> 0:10:40.994 have to talk like this, you must must must not 0:10:41.194 --> 0:10:42.074 cry at work. 0:10:42.354 --> 0:10:45.953 I love the exactly because because they're like just an f. 0:10:47.514 --> 0:10:50.074 Really emotional. You can't cry at work. And then I 0:10:50.114 --> 0:10:53.274 started working at Mama Maya. 0:10:52.354 --> 0:10:53.994 And you're like, hmm, mixed messages. 0:10:54.794 --> 0:10:55.674 A lot is going on. 0:10:56.554 --> 0:11:00.354 I actually have a story, Klus Stevenson. 0:11:00.994 --> 0:11:02.994 Did What did I do when you were. 0:11:03.074 --> 0:11:04.794 Editor in chief and Mom Maya and I was a 0:11:04.794 --> 0:11:08.274 social media producer. It was I totally remember what the 0:11:08.314 --> 0:11:11.594 meeting is, but it was some sort of formal check 0:11:11.634 --> 0:11:14.474 in because we didn't have regular check in, so it 0:11:14.514 --> 0:11:17.274 was a formal check in. And I was like, I'm 0:11:17.274 --> 0:11:18.994 going to own this meeting. I'm going to talk about 0:11:19.034 --> 0:11:21.714 all this stuff. I did everything I've done. I'm so 0:11:21.794 --> 0:11:23.554 good at my job. I'm the best. And I get 0:11:23.554 --> 0:11:25.754 into the meeting and I was like, and then I 0:11:25.794 --> 0:11:28.034 did this post and I got this amount of engagement, 0:11:28.074 --> 0:11:30.074 and then I did this, and then everyone seemed to 0:11:30.114 --> 0:11:30.594 like this, and I. 0:11:30.594 --> 0:11:33.234 Could feel the tears well up because it was the first. 0:11:33.034 --> 0:11:35.394 Time I had to talk about some of the achievements 0:11:35.434 --> 0:11:37.594 I made at work, and I don't know why. And 0:11:37.634 --> 0:11:40.794 then the streams just started happening, and you were crying, 0:11:40.794 --> 0:11:43.274 even though you were like saying good things about I 0:11:43.394 --> 0:11:47.114 was crying saying good things about myself, ignoring the tears, 0:11:47.714 --> 0:11:50.114 and then eventually it was just sobbing, and I was like, 0:11:50.154 --> 0:11:52.594 I'm so sorry, I don't know what's happening. I never 0:11:52.634 --> 0:11:54.994 cry at work, and you were just looking at your 0:11:54.994 --> 0:11:58.514 computer and you were like, I'll find everyone. And then 0:11:58.554 --> 0:12:00.554 it was like the moment where I was like, oh 0:12:00.594 --> 0:12:04.194 my god, this is so liberating as a woman, as 0:12:04.234 --> 0:12:06.274 a young woman in media. And then I just kept 0:12:06.354 --> 0:12:09.274 crying and kept talking and we both had a discussion 0:12:09.354 --> 0:12:11.354 ignoring my dear, and it was the best meeting I've 0:12:11.394 --> 0:12:15.034 ever had. Wow, Claus Stevens, I want to know. 0:12:15.394 --> 0:12:17.474 I want to know from you, because that was one 0:12:17.514 --> 0:12:19.434 of the things a manager is how to react when 0:12:19.434 --> 0:12:22.554 people cry. How did you? How did you get to 0:12:22.554 --> 0:12:24.394 a place where you were comfory enough to just let 0:12:24.434 --> 0:12:25.354 them sit there sobbing. 0:12:25.554 --> 0:12:29.914 I struggle with that because I am not a touchy 0:12:29.954 --> 0:12:33.434 feely person. I'm not an overly sentimental person. So sometimes 0:12:33.474 --> 0:12:35.954 I'd be like should I hug this person? And then 0:12:35.994 --> 0:12:38.954 I'd think that's inauthentic, and they're going to know it's inauthentic, 0:12:38.994 --> 0:12:40.954 and it's going to be clunky and clumsy, and I 0:12:40.994 --> 0:12:44.274 don't want to be hugged when I'm crying I having 0:12:44.274 --> 0:12:48.674 the meeting that I really needed exactly, And I knew 0:12:48.834 --> 0:12:53.074 that the reason I cried at work would always be 0:12:53.474 --> 0:12:55.794 when I had these big feelings, and they might be 0:12:55.994 --> 0:13:00.634 I might be feeling nervous, angry. Often for me, it 0:13:00.674 --> 0:13:02.714 was when I felt angry about something or I wanted 0:13:02.754 --> 0:13:06.874 to express something. And I don't think I was ever 0:13:06.914 --> 0:13:09.594 taught to be assertive, so even in that situation, it's 0:13:09.634 --> 0:13:12.713 like you're never taught to like talk yourself up, So 0:13:12.834 --> 0:13:15.994 then when you do it, the emotion is overwhelming and 0:13:16.034 --> 0:13:18.674 you start crying and you're like, this is no one's fault, 0:13:19.714 --> 0:13:22.954 this is anything. I just don't know how to get 0:13:22.994 --> 0:13:25.874 this out. So I was always like, I just want 0:13:25.874 --> 0:13:26.674 to be ignored to you. 0:13:26.954 --> 0:13:29.354 So I was going to ask, is how you want 0:13:29.394 --> 0:13:31.554 to be treated when you cry? Because there are different reasons, 0:13:31.634 --> 0:13:33.914 Right if EMM was crying because she was upset about 0:13:33.954 --> 0:13:34.554 something at. 0:13:34.394 --> 0:13:36.754 Work, would your reaction be different or do you just 0:13:37.114 --> 0:13:41.434 generally let's all agree, I can't see your tears, I 0:13:41.474 --> 0:13:44.594 can't see your shaking shoulders, and I'm just going to 0:13:44.634 --> 0:13:48.594 pretend like nothing's happening. Is that what you're advocating? 0:13:48.834 --> 0:13:53.754 It probably also makes it weird that as a journalist, writer, interviewer, 0:13:54.754 --> 0:13:58.074 you interview people who cry, and it's you're not meant to. 0:13:58.194 --> 0:14:00.514 If you stopped the interview every time people cried and 0:14:00.554 --> 0:14:03.354 gave them a cuddle, that's not very good interview technique. 0:14:03.394 --> 0:14:04.194 I don't think. 0:14:04.314 --> 0:14:07.514 Well, no, the idea is to let them cry because 0:14:07.594 --> 0:14:09.914 a they need to get through that to get to 0:14:09.954 --> 0:14:12.754 the next bit, and also because it's quite good content sometimes. 0:14:14.034 --> 0:14:17.674 But at the same time, I think it's situation dependent 0:14:17.794 --> 0:14:20.554 because if someone's genuinely very upset, then you need to 0:14:20.554 --> 0:14:22.274 comfort them. You need to be a human being and 0:14:22.314 --> 0:14:22.794 comfort them. 0:14:22.954 --> 0:14:23.994 But do you have to hug them? 0:14:23.994 --> 0:14:26.154 But if you know that some people are just criers, 0:14:26.674 --> 0:14:28.914 I think that's one of the skills in being a 0:14:28.954 --> 0:14:31.474 manager is you can't actually treat everybody the same. Like 0:14:31.554 --> 0:14:34.154 if somebody cried in your office who you knew was 0:14:34.194 --> 0:14:37.194 not a crier and you knew something must be wrong, 0:14:37.914 --> 0:14:40.154 then you would like inquire. 0:14:40.114 --> 0:14:45.594 See M wasn't a crier. But I think I could relate. Yeah, 0:14:45.634 --> 0:14:48.954 I was like, yeah, same. I cried when my leave 0:14:48.994 --> 0:14:52.074 didn't get approved and I just got very overwhelmed because 0:14:52.114 --> 0:14:53.954 I was like, but I wanted to go to Hawaii. 0:14:54.114 --> 0:14:56.874 Those are the worst. Those are the worst ones as 0:14:56.874 --> 0:14:59.314 a manager to deal with this. If you're just saying no, 0:14:59.474 --> 0:15:01.674 you can't have leave then because everyone's having leave then 0:15:01.714 --> 0:15:09.634 and someone starts crying. For God's sake, sorry, welcome to 0:15:09.794 --> 0:15:13.274 being a grown up in the world. And I would 0:15:13.354 --> 0:15:15.034 rather die than let people see me cry. I'm that 0:15:15.074 --> 0:15:17.794 person because I'm stoic and I'm old. But I have 0:15:17.874 --> 0:15:21.154 done it, of course. Am oh, yeah, I definitely have 0:15:21.234 --> 0:15:22.994 done it. Whereas I know some people who are much 0:15:22.994 --> 0:15:24.554 more of old than I am, and they're like fine 0:15:24.554 --> 0:15:27.274 with crying, but I hate it. So I early in 0:15:27.354 --> 0:15:30.754 my career literally researched how did not cry when you 0:15:30.754 --> 0:15:33.674 want to cry? That's that's going to make me cry? 0:15:34.874 --> 0:15:37.434 They give you some good advice, right, So, pinch between 0:15:37.434 --> 0:15:39.634 your four finger and thumb, that's a really good one. 0:15:39.834 --> 0:15:43.434 Drink a glass of really cold water because that cool 0:15:43.514 --> 0:15:45.394 things down. Like you know how when you feel you're 0:15:45.394 --> 0:15:47.394 going to cry, a whole body goes hot and you 0:15:47.474 --> 0:15:49.034 start getting I hate that feeling. 0:15:49.394 --> 0:15:51.474 So if you've got water around and you can swallow 0:15:51.514 --> 0:15:55.714 and like or just throw the water at anything, but cry, 0:15:56.234 --> 0:15:58.714 Just like what was I doing? 0:16:00.114 --> 0:16:00.874 Have I slipped. 0:16:01.114 --> 0:16:05.114 I gotta go to the loop, create a distraction, look 0:16:05.234 --> 0:16:09.834 like a labor and then you write not cry clays 0:16:09.874 --> 0:16:16.154 crying over there, and I'm like, what, I'm fine, Exit. 0:16:16.794 --> 0:16:20.754 Then anywhere, go anywhere where the crying closet needs to 0:16:20.754 --> 0:16:24.074 throw the people out of the crying closet, go in there, 0:16:24.234 --> 0:16:26.794 shut the door, lean against the door to sob because 0:16:26.794 --> 0:16:28.314 then if people come to see if you're all right, 0:16:28.354 --> 0:16:30.434 that's the worst, because you know how if you're crying 0:16:30.434 --> 0:16:31.834 and people go you're right and give you a hug, 0:16:31.874 --> 0:16:32.674 you just cry off. 0:16:33.314 --> 0:16:36.194 And then it should just be agreed upon that no 0:16:36.234 --> 0:16:39.154 one references it ever, like we do not talk about it. 0:16:39.434 --> 0:16:40.394 It's done. 0:16:40.394 --> 0:16:43.434 But all of this assumes, strangely, and again it must 0:16:43.434 --> 0:16:45.834 be a British thing that there's a gap between you 0:16:45.914 --> 0:16:49.394 feeling the emotion and you expressing that emotion. There is 0:16:49.394 --> 0:16:50.994 no gap for me. There's no time to get to 0:16:51.034 --> 0:16:51.514 the closet. 0:16:51.594 --> 0:16:54.554 You have to run, Yeah, there's no time. 0:16:54.794 --> 0:16:57.314 I'm just I'm crying before I even know that I'm crying. 0:16:58.034 --> 0:17:00.634 Do you think if you cry in front of somebody, 0:17:00.634 --> 0:17:03.194 do you expect them to like, what do you expect 0:17:03.194 --> 0:17:03.594 them to do? 0:17:03.754 --> 0:17:04.754 Literally? Ignore it? 0:17:05.114 --> 0:17:09.234 Yeah, I wouldn't want I mean, of course, it depends 0:17:09.273 --> 0:17:12.194 what you're crying about. I cried one time I got 0:17:12.434 --> 0:17:16.234 really sad news at work, and I cried, but I 0:17:16.314 --> 0:17:18.914 had enough time where the tears had started. Then I 0:17:18.914 --> 0:17:22.234 went for a walk. But if you're crying because of 0:17:22.354 --> 0:17:26.194 like anger assertiveness, I've got big feelings. I don't know 0:17:26.194 --> 0:17:29.554 what to do with them. Then no, I don't want 0:17:29.554 --> 0:17:34.833 to be comforted. I want to maybe be left alone. No, no, 0:17:34.874 --> 0:17:42.634 because I want to argue. 0:17:39.194 --> 0:17:40.754 With someone who's crying. Though. 0:17:41.234 --> 0:17:43.513 The other tip I got that is really stupid is 0:17:43.554 --> 0:17:47.554 if you tilt your head back, the tears can't actually fall. 0:17:48.274 --> 0:17:50.234 Oh you tilt forward, so then they drop on the 0:17:50.234 --> 0:17:52.394 ground so it doesn't ruin your mind. Yeah, if you 0:17:52.514 --> 0:17:54.754 tilt your head back, then you can just be like, yeah, 0:17:59.474 --> 0:18:01.474 I can imagine just looking at you in a meeting room, 0:18:01.514 --> 0:18:02.794 going is she have any exorcism? 0:18:03.874 --> 0:18:04.114 Water? 0:18:05.274 --> 0:18:10.354 Some really really weird. But I remember one time I 0:18:10.434 --> 0:18:14.313 was meant to be disciplining someone for something. But the 0:18:14.394 --> 0:18:16.154 reason I cry often is when I'm trying to be 0:18:16.194 --> 0:18:19.033 assertive and direct because I just don't think I have 0:18:19.314 --> 0:18:21.794 the skills to do that. I think I've gotten a 0:18:21.834 --> 0:18:24.154 little bit better, but I find it really really hard. 0:18:24.154 --> 0:18:26.553 So I was trying to be assertive and say, like, 0:18:27.314 --> 0:18:30.194 you did this thing. It's okay, but you did this thing. 0:18:30.674 --> 0:18:32.793 And then they yelled at me, and then I cried. 0:18:33.034 --> 0:18:36.514 Oh no, they were fine. They were absolutely. 0:18:36.594 --> 0:18:37.914 That's something as a boss. 0:18:37.954 --> 0:18:41.394 If you make somebody cry, you feel awful because and 0:18:41.434 --> 0:18:43.314 you never mean to make someone cry. But if you've 0:18:43.354 --> 0:18:45.674