Speaker 1: So you're listening to another miir podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges
Speaker 1: the traditional owners of the land. We have recorded this
Speaker 1: podcast on the Gadigul people of the Eor nation. We
Speaker 1: pay our respects to their elders past and present, and
Speaker 1: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torres Rate islander cultures.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 3: It's Annalise Todd here from this Glorious mess introducing Hot
Speaker 3: Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across the
Speaker 3: Mumamere network, just for you to escape the chaos and
Speaker 3: enjoy with the kids at home and the weather warming up.
Speaker 3: We've got episodes of little love Stories and Parents' Anonymous
Speaker 3: to share. From the beginn to the yang. Parents Anonymous
Speaker 3: is part game show, part church confessional. You share your
Speaker 3: deepest parenting shame, and myself and Stacey Hicks rate you,
Speaker 3: but the worst parenting wins the most points, so really
Speaker 3: you can't lose. If you're looking for something else to
Speaker 3: listen to, Mama Mia is officially presenting one hundred hours
Speaker 3: of summer listens, from meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion,
Speaker 3: beauty and more. There's a link in the show.
Speaker 4: Notes Parents Anonymous welcome to this glorious mess. I'm Annalie's
Speaker 4: single mum to two twain boys, and I mute my
Speaker 4: kids sports WhatsApp groups. And I'm Stacy Hicks, the exhausted
Speaker 4: mum of a very strong wheeled three year old girl.
Speaker 4: And the bags under my eyes a country road I
Speaker 4: got them on sale. Do you like them?
Speaker 3: Well, I would say they're more giving Gucci. I feel
Speaker 3: like more high end than that.
Speaker 4: Thanks, I appreciate that. So today, Stace, we're launching a
Speaker 4: fun new episode within your Glorious mess weekly feed called
Speaker 4: Parents Anonymous. Yes, Parents Anonymous is part church confessional, heart
Speaker 4: game show and a whole lot of laughs, if we
Speaker 4: do say so ourselves. The concept is pretty simple. You
Speaker 4: tell us a story and get the guilt off your chest,
Speaker 4: and we judge you for it. But we will also
Speaker 4: be putting you in competition with two other parents, just
Speaker 4: in case you didn't find parenting enough of a competition already.
Speaker 4: But in this case, you get the most points for
Speaker 4: being the worst parents, so there's no losing.
Speaker 3: I think that's the best kind of competition. I agree,
Speaker 3: I would like to be crowned worst parent. So we
Speaker 3: put a call out to our listeners through TGM and
Speaker 3: Mama Mia for your confessions, and from there we invite
Speaker 3: our favorite three to step into the confessional and spill
Speaker 3: the guilty tea.
Speaker 4: Yes, and we've never heard these before, So we're giving
Speaker 4: you two minutes to tell your story, and then we
Speaker 4: decide the best one based on hilariousness and creativity and
Speaker 4: worse parentness and worse parentness.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 4: Absolutely. On today's show, we have a dummy fairy, a
Speaker 4: dating hotline. Oh that's on brand for me, and a
Speaker 4: donating child.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm very intrigued, me too. Oh I can't wait.
Speaker 4: Here we go. I tried to get my child to
Speaker 4: stop using dummies by inventing something I like to call
Speaker 4: the dummy fairy.
Speaker 1: Picture this.
Speaker 4: I dug a hole in the garden, the dummies were
Speaker 4: placed inside. We sprinkled a little bit of glitter on
Speaker 4: the whole, and then when they were distracted, I put
Speaker 4: a toy truck in its place.
Speaker 1: I feel so embarrassed in my child that they fell
Speaker 1: for that, But oh well, it worked and now they don't.
Speaker 5: Use a dummy.
Speaker 3: The dummy fairy is not groundbreaking.
Speaker 4: No, I was just about to say I wanted off
Speaker 4: at this point. I invented the dummy fairy. I thought
Speaker 4: this was my genius idea when my three year old
Speaker 4: had to give hers up as well.
Speaker 3: Yes, but Stacy, did you go out into the garden
Speaker 3: and bury it and give it a funeral? No?
Speaker 4: I am giving her massive props for that because I didn't.
Speaker 4: I just made up a story about the dummy fairy
Speaker 4: and the next day they were gone.
Speaker 3: And then not only did she give it a funeral,
Speaker 3: but it got resurrected like Jesus in the form of
Speaker 3: a toy.
Speaker 4: I love it. I really should have thought of that. Actually,
Speaker 4: very impressed with this. I like the commitment. I like
Speaker 4: the creativity, the child I liked doing in return, the
Speaker 4: religious symbolism of it being raised from Yes, love it.
Speaker 4: I think it's great. Okay, well, there's nothing to go
Speaker 4: first out of ten tactical parenting. Well, because she beat me,
Speaker 4: she committed to the lie more than I ever would have.
Speaker 4: I'm going to give her nine trucks out of ten.
Speaker 3: Hmmm, that's very generous. Look for the resurrection, for the
Speaker 3: religious symbolism, for the commitment. The glitter as well. I
Speaker 3: like the glitter. That's good. I'm going to give her
Speaker 3: a solid eight trucks out.
Speaker 4: Of ten trucks, or your hard market.
Speaker 3: I like it. I am all right. So what have
Speaker 3: we got up next? Donating children? I've thought about turning
Speaker 3: mine on eBay. Let's see if it comes close to that.
Speaker 5: I was out shopping and the shop assistant wanted to
Speaker 5: cut on my newish second child. I got chatting to
Speaker 5: another shop assistant and then left the shop, only to
Speaker 5: be chased down and reminded that my baby was still
Speaker 5: in the store. I live in a regional town and
Speaker 5: it's quite a small community, so I am absolutely mortified
Speaker 5: and haven't gone back to the store.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's nothing to be embarrassed about. She's busy, she's shopping,
Speaker 3: she's got two kids, she's outnumbered, and if it's a
Speaker 3: new baby, she's tired.
Speaker 4: Exactly. I have lost count of the amount of times
Speaker 4: I've been driving with my child in the car and
Speaker 4: suddenly she'll make a noise and I go, oh, I'm
Speaker 4: a mother, like I actually forget for a moment that
Speaker 4: she's there, when she's quiet for a change. I mean,
Speaker 4: it's not great ideal to count your children before you
Speaker 4: leave the store.
Speaker 3: And it's good that she lives in a regional town.
Speaker 3: That's safe in that instance as well. Exactly exactly in
Speaker 3: terms of leaving a kid with a stranger, it's a
Speaker 3: small community, that's good. Yeah, so no harm was done,
Speaker 3: the child got returned. I have threatened my kids before that.
Speaker 3: I was going to put them on eBay and I
Speaker 3: was thinking, like, I've gone there mentally and I've said
Speaker 3: it to them. I think that's worse. What are you
Speaker 3: scoring her?
Speaker 4: We've got her deduct points for forgetting your child, but
Speaker 4: we also totally understand why you've done it.
Speaker 3: That's your marking system, not mine.
Speaker 4: Do I sound too judging? I probably do, But look,
Speaker 4: I think it's a great parenting confession. I think a
Speaker 4: lot of people probably keep things like this to themselves,
Speaker 4: but they do it more than they like to admit.
Speaker 4: So I think it's good that we just get these
Speaker 4: out in the open. She probably feels so much better
Speaker 4: now she said it. We've all secretly wanted to leave
Speaker 4: our child with a friendly babysitter for a few minutes
Speaker 4: so we can catch our breadths.
Speaker 3: So on eBay.
Speaker 4: Yeah exactly, I'll give her seven point five.
Speaker 3: Oh okay for oversharing, because you know, like that's that
Speaker 3: is your man truck brand. So for the oversharing and
Speaker 3: the fact that she could like people like you would think,
Speaker 3: it's really bad. I'm going to give her a nine
Speaker 3: out of forgetting her child. Out of ten, I think,
Speaker 3: go go, you love it. What do we got last?
Speaker 4: I feel like we've kept your perfect one And for last,
Speaker 4: dating hotline is an ext one line.
Speaker 3: What she has to say.
Speaker 2: I am a single parent and was out for coffee
Speaker 2: with my friends, telling her all about my plan to
Speaker 2: go out and have mindless sex with no strings attached
Speaker 2: for the next twelve months, very intricate details. I got
Speaker 2: to my car to leave, and my car said, do
Speaker 2: you want to transfer the call to the car? I thought,
Speaker 2: that's strange, I'm not on a call. Well yes I was.
Speaker 2: In fact, I'd called the school mom's group chat for
Speaker 2: twenty two minutes.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, our jaws are on the floor. Stacy like,
Speaker 3: if this is not a visual medium, but if you
Speaker 3: could see us right now, our jaws are on the floor.
Speaker 4: This is not something that happens to us very often.
Speaker 4: We had never lost for words, never never, But.
Speaker 3: Here we are.
Speaker 4: This is my worst night, very in any situation.
Speaker 3: I'm clutching my purse, and this is something that I
Speaker 3: possibly would do. That's why I'm so upset for her,
Speaker 3: Like that is literally something that I would do. This
Speaker 3: why you needed two minutes is long.
Speaker 4: That's a long time. This is why you need to
Speaker 4: check that the phone is off or away before you
Speaker 4: start getting into the nitty gritty.
Speaker 3: SERI is not listening and doing things.
Speaker 4: I really want to know more about the fallout. I
Speaker 4: really want to know what happened and how many people.
Speaker 3: Heard the details, and if they committed to the full
Speaker 3: twenty two minutes, because obviously I would.
Speaker 4: There is no way on this earth I would be
Speaker 4: hanging up on that call. If someone accidentally called me
Speaker 4: and I was hearing the nedy gritty of their dating life,
Speaker 4: I would be listening to every single second of it.
Speaker 3: So corn straight to the microwave. I'm afraid to.
Speaker 4: Say, I think everyone heard everything you had to say,
Speaker 4: but I think everyone would be very jealous of what
Speaker 4: you had to say.
Speaker 3: I agree, actually, and I think this is not a
Speaker 3: shameful one. This is the walk of fame, not a
Speaker 3: walk of shame, exactly. They'll talk about you for decades,
Speaker 3: So he's jealous. Yeah, and this will be the story
Speaker 3: that they tell to their other mum friends in the
Speaker 3: best possible way. I mean, I look at that legend,
Speaker 3: the great sex life, off she goes the spring and
Speaker 3: her step now you know why.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think she should be a shamed by
Speaker 4: this at all. I think this is brilliant. And look
Speaker 4: at the great table fodder that she's given to other
Speaker 4: people to talk about with their friends. Like sometimes when
Speaker 4: you're a parent, you can get really boring, like you're
Speaker 4: not doing that much, You're not getting out and doing
Speaker 4: as much as other people. So really, you've done a
Speaker 4: public service by sharing this story. I think it's great.
Speaker 3: And for that, for your active service, for the service
Speaker 3: of others doing God's work. I give you, Sexy Lady
Speaker 3: a solid ten out of ten.
Speaker 4: I give you ten butt dials out of ten. Well done.
Speaker 3: And if you've got a confession, we would love to
Speaker 3: hear it, Like we really really live for this. We
Speaker 3: want to know it and just get it off your chest.
Speaker 3: Release better out than in. As the old saying guy.
Speaker 4: You'll feel better once you tell us.
Speaker 3: We promise send us your secret shame. You can be
Speaker 3: completely anonymous or leave a voice note or email. We
Speaker 3: just want to hear from you. All the details are
Speaker 3: in the show notes.