WEBVTT - INBOX: The 5-Second Trick That Kills Procrastination (We Tested It) 0:00:06.610 --> 0:00:13.289 You're listening to Amma mea podcast. 0:00:16.210 --> 0:00:20.130 Hello, and welcome to biz Inbox. I'm m Vernon, bringing 0:00:20.130 --> 0:00:23.690 you your weekly dos of unfiltered workplace wisdom. Well, I'm 0:00:23.689 --> 0:00:24.410 going to try. 0:00:24.729 --> 0:00:28.170 I'm Sarah Davidson, also trying to help them dig into 0:00:28.210 --> 0:00:30.089 some workplace truth today. 0:00:30.650 --> 0:00:33.970 And if you are new here, welcome, because biz Inbox 0:00:34.050 --> 0:00:38.130 is where your professional dilemmas get sold. No names attached. 0:00:38.370 --> 0:00:41.930 So whether you're navigating office dynamics, launching a side hustle, 0:00:42.050 --> 0:00:44.850 or dealing with the manager from hell, We've got you 0:00:44.970 --> 0:00:48.450 covered and your identity stays completely under wraps if you 0:00:48.570 --> 0:00:49.330 choose to do so. 0:00:49.690 --> 0:00:53.610 Today we are diving into whether loud working is worth 0:00:53.650 --> 0:00:57.570 the hype and that awkward moment when your entire workplace 0:00:57.610 --> 0:01:03.970 discovers your Instagram handle, Oh my goodness, embarrassing. 0:01:04.170 --> 0:01:05.289 No, we'll help you out. 0:01:05.730 --> 0:01:07.410 You out. 0:01:10.050 --> 0:01:13.850 First, I want to dive into a question that I 0:01:13.850 --> 0:01:17.650 feel like I could have submitted myself. It's from Lulu 0:01:17.729 --> 0:01:21.729 and she says I am the Queen of procrastination, which 0:01:21.729 --> 0:01:24.770 I'm going to say, no, Lulu, I am. Instead of 0:01:24.809 --> 0:01:28.409 finishing tomorrow's urgent report, I just did a full house, 0:01:28.449 --> 0:01:33.130 deep clean, scrolled TikTok for hours, and created a beautifully formatted, 0:01:33.250 --> 0:01:36.330 color coded to do list, which I then ignored. I'll 0:01:36.369 --> 0:01:39.529 literally do anything to avoid the actual work. Do you 0:01:39.649 --> 0:01:43.890 have any tips at all? I need serious help, Sarah, 0:01:43.929 --> 0:01:46.169 I'm sad to say that I also need serious help. 0:01:46.289 --> 0:01:48.370 Oh my gosh. Well that makes three of us. 0:01:48.650 --> 0:01:50.370 And the hilarious part of this is when I was 0:01:50.410 --> 0:01:53.210 reading this question to think about, you know, have a 0:01:53.210 --> 0:01:56.210 little think in advance about what I would suggest. I 0:01:56.250 --> 0:01:57.889 found it a hard one, and because it was a 0:01:57.890 --> 0:02:01.210 hard question, I ignored it. Did a full house, deep clean, 0:02:01.250 --> 0:02:04.930 scrolled TikTok for hours, I made a beautifully formatted, color 0:02:04.930 --> 0:02:07.410 coded to do so I wouldn't have to answer the 0:02:07.450 --> 0:02:08.930 question because it's a hard one. 0:02:09.410 --> 0:02:11.930 But it's such a funny question because I feel like 0:02:11.930 --> 0:02:13.850 we all do it. But Sarah, okay, out of all 0:02:13.890 --> 0:02:15.610 of us here, I mean, I'm not sure what Lulu does. 0:02:15.650 --> 0:02:18.650 I'm sure she's amazing, but you are the one who 0:02:18.810 --> 0:02:22.290 has very successful businesses. So you're clearly doing something right 0:02:22.290 --> 0:02:24.210 that I'm sure doesn't involve procrastinating. 0:02:25.490 --> 0:02:27.930 Well, I mean, we all have our moments. One of 0:02:27.970 --> 0:02:31.450 the things that really helps me is, firstly, I try 0:02:31.450 --> 0:02:35.490 and identify the reason, because sometimes your reaction is different 0:02:35.730 --> 0:02:38.010 or the action should I say that you can take 0:02:38.090 --> 0:02:41.050 is different depending on what it is. So for example, 0:02:41.210 --> 0:02:44.610 if you're procrastinating because you're exhausted, I think sometimes the 0:02:44.650 --> 0:02:47.690 temptation is just to push on keep going, especially if 0:02:47.690 --> 0:02:49.850 you've been sitting there doing something for a couple of hours. 0:02:49.850 --> 0:02:52.530 You're like, no, I just need to finish. And sometimes 0:02:52.530 --> 0:02:56.770 it's counterintuitive, but maybe stop. Like sometimes it isn't pushed through. 0:02:56.810 --> 0:02:58.850 Sometimes if it's tiredness, you're actually not going to get 0:02:58.890 --> 0:03:01.730 any clearer or any more energized by just sitting there 0:03:01.730 --> 0:03:03.570 staring at the same thing over and over again. So 0:03:03.970 --> 0:03:06.210 one thing that's really helped me is if that's the reason, 0:03:06.290 --> 0:03:08.690 if it's tiredness or brain fog, I actually stop for 0:03:08.730 --> 0:03:11.010 a minute, get up, maybe go for a walk, get 0:03:11.010 --> 0:03:14.210 a cup of tea, come back and try again later. 0:03:14.370 --> 0:03:17.090 But sometimes it might be that you need to break 0:03:17.130 --> 0:03:19.850 the circuit just because you're emotionally flat. So sometimes I'll 0:03:19.850 --> 0:03:21.850 get up and like you might need to go and 0:03:21.890 --> 0:03:25.290 do a workout. Like sometimes the procrastination and leaving the 0:03:25.330 --> 0:03:28.530 task and coming back is a good thing. If it's 0:03:28.850 --> 0:03:31.050 not one of those things if it's not something that 0:03:31.130 --> 0:03:33.330 needs a bit of action before you can keep going. 0:03:34.130 --> 0:03:36.250 The best thing that I ever do is to break 0:03:36.330 --> 0:03:40.210 the big, scary, overwhelming task into mini tasks and then 0:03:40.250 --> 0:03:42.890 give myself little awards after each one. 0:03:43.050 --> 0:03:45.250 Ooh, what's a reward like? 0:03:46.370 --> 0:03:48.850 If you do want to have a little scroll, I'm like, well, 0:03:48.890 --> 0:03:51.410 I can't have a ten minute scroll until I've done 0:03:51.530 --> 0:03:55.050 a thirty minute block of this hard task. Or you know, 0:03:55.090 --> 0:03:57.690 I want my second coffee for the day the afternoon slump, 0:03:57.770 --> 0:04:00.850 but actually I haven't earned that yet because I haven't 0:04:00.850 --> 0:04:02.970 done thirty minutes of my work. So I kind of 0:04:03.650 --> 0:04:06.490 build in little treat of things that I would want. 0:04:06.810 --> 0:04:09.250 And I know it's probably not like the best advice 0:04:09.370 --> 0:04:12.690 to use food as an incentivization, but sometimes it's a snack. 0:04:12.770 --> 0:04:14.890 It's like I can't go and get a snack or 0:04:14.930 --> 0:04:17.450 I can't go on my coffee break until I've done 0:04:17.690 --> 0:04:20.770 this mini task. And I actually think breaking it into 0:04:20.810 --> 0:04:23.570 smaller tasks, you don't even need to think about tasks 0:04:23.610 --> 0:04:25.570 two to ten. All you need to think about is 0:04:25.650 --> 0:04:28.850 number one, And suddenly your brain it frees up so 0:04:28.970 --> 0:04:31.010 much space for you to just begin because you're not 0:04:31.050 --> 0:04:34.650 trying to begin the entire thing. You're just beginning this 0:04:34.770 --> 0:04:38.130 small thing. It's less overwhelming. The fear that you get 0:04:38.130 --> 0:04:41.050 from the size of the task is often what creates procrastinations. 0:04:41.050 --> 0:04:43.610 So yeah, I feel like dividing it into a list 0:04:43.690 --> 0:04:47.210 makes things more manageable. And then the other thing that 0:04:47.290 --> 0:04:49.970 I do is I actually just create obstacles for myself, 0:04:50.050 --> 0:04:53.770 Like I know that my biggest destruction is social media. 0:04:54.410 --> 0:04:56.610 For other people, it might be other things, it might 0:04:56.650 --> 0:04:59.130 be TV, it might be whatever it is, but I 0:04:59.170 --> 0:05:01.690 know that. You know, my problem is I want to 0:05:01.770 --> 0:05:03.330 scroll and then I say I'm going to scroll for 0:05:03.370 --> 0:05:04.770 five minutes, and I get on a tangent and then 0:05:04.770 --> 0:05:06.450 like eight hours, I'm still sitting there. 0:05:07.330 --> 0:05:10.969 You're just in the dark with your light on your face. Yeah. 0:05:11.130 --> 0:05:13.970 Literally, I'm that mean. And so I make it hard 0:05:13.970 --> 0:05:17.170 for myself. I put my phone like physically elsewhere, so 0:05:17.170 --> 0:05:20.089 there's an obstacle. I'll turn it off and like it 0:05:20.170 --> 0:05:22.290 takes a little while for your phone to boot up. 0:05:22.290 --> 0:05:24.210 And then when you pick up a phone that's off, 0:05:24.250 --> 0:05:26.210 you can't say all your notifications or you turn your 0:05:26.250 --> 0:05:29.850 notifications off. Like building in obstacles to the things that 0:05:30.010 --> 0:05:35.170 allow you to procrastinate further. It's like hacking your own temptation. 0:05:35.530 --> 0:05:40.010 You just remove the temptation. And it sounds really basic, 0:05:40.090 --> 0:05:42.610 but sometimes I think humans are pretty basic. If there's 0:05:42.650 --> 0:05:45.650 a distraction, remove it and then it's less distracting. 0:05:45.970 --> 0:05:48.450 So true, especially with this phone scrolling thing, because I 0:05:48.450 --> 0:05:50.610 do turn my phone off a lot of the time, 0:05:51.090 --> 0:05:53.969 and I think when you do that, you also become 0:05:54.090 --> 0:05:56.930 so hyper aware of exactly how much you pick up 0:05:56.930 --> 0:05:59.730 your phone without even realizing you're doing it, like subconsciously, 0:05:59.770 --> 0:06:02.650 and it's quite confronting. I pick up my phone so 0:06:02.930 --> 0:06:06.090 many times without realizing I'm doing it. I have two 0:06:06.170 --> 0:06:09.530 tips as well, because I am such a big procrastinator 0:06:09.690 --> 0:06:13.250 that these two things basically saved so much of my 0:06:13.370 --> 0:06:16.089 time just from actually doing my work and not procrastinating. 0:06:16.130 --> 0:06:18.770 I'm sure my mum, mea managers are gonna love hearing 0:06:18.770 --> 0:06:21.930 this episode from me. But basically what I do is 0:06:22.050 --> 0:06:24.650 I first they figured out my energy levels throughout the day, 0:06:24.650 --> 0:06:27.490 because everyone has different jumps and energy and you just 0:06:27.530 --> 0:06:30.690 have to be just aware of your energy, figure out 0:06:30.810 --> 0:06:34.370 like where you feel most productive. And I realize I'm 0:06:34.490 --> 0:06:36.610 not a morning person, but I've had to become a 0:06:36.650 --> 0:06:39.410 morning person, because that's where all my energy goes. It's 0:06:39.450 --> 0:06:41.930 like in the morning, if I do things, it has 0:06:41.970 --> 0:06:44.490 to be done before eleven am, because then I go 0:06:44.530 --> 0:06:47.570 into a bit of a slump between like eleven and three, 0:06:47.930 --> 0:06:50.930 and then I get another burst of energy after three pm. 0:06:51.330 --> 0:06:53.409 And I know we're recording this at three pm. So 0:06:53.450 --> 0:06:56.930 that's why I look a bit dull, right, well, so proud. 0:06:57.050 --> 0:06:59.250 And the funny thing is is that I'm so lucky 0:06:59.290 --> 0:07:01.690 to be a creative here because it was actually my 0:07:01.730 --> 0:07:04.170 producers who noticed my energy levels. And I realize that 0:07:04.210 --> 0:07:06.330 a lot of my recordings end up being in the mornings, 0:07:06.330 --> 0:07:09.170 because I like, you sound like shit after three pm, 0:07:09.330 --> 0:07:10.010 Like you just. 0:07:09.930 --> 0:07:13.970 Some constructive criticism here, literally just. 0:07:13.890 --> 0:07:16.450 Like after you've had lunch, like you can't get anything 0:07:16.610 --> 0:07:19.010 good out of you. And I'm like, okay, that makes sense. 0:07:19.730 --> 0:07:22.490 And because I am a big procrastinator as well, So 0:07:22.490 --> 0:07:24.930 once I feed out my energy levels, I realized that 0:07:25.050 --> 0:07:27.370 the method of choice for me to get work done 0:07:27.410 --> 0:07:30.050 was eating the frog. I have to do the hardest 0:07:30.090 --> 0:07:32.850 thing first, and then once I've done that thing, I 0:07:32.970 --> 0:07:34.930 just end up doing everything else because you've got the 0:07:34.970 --> 0:07:37.130 hard thing out of the way. So if you're like me, 0:07:37.330 --> 0:07:39.490 and you have a lot of energy in the morning 0:07:39.530 --> 0:07:41.410 and you want to do everything in the morning. Try 0:07:41.410 --> 0:07:43.210 to eat the frog the method, because once you get 0:07:43.210 --> 0:07:45.410 the hardest part of your workday out of the way, 0:07:45.490 --> 0:07:48.570 if you're able to do so, everything else just seems 0:07:48.650 --> 0:07:51.930 so much easier and you're less likely to procrastinate. It 0:07:52.050 --> 0:07:54.330 is like the best thing I've ever tried. I also 0:07:54.330 --> 0:07:56.210 wrote a piece about it, which will link in the 0:07:56.250 --> 0:07:58.970 show notes, because I tell everyone to eat the frog. 0:07:59.010 --> 0:07:59.610 It's so good. 0:07:59.810 --> 0:08:02.290 Oh my god, that's so clever, because I do think 0:08:02.330 --> 0:08:04.530 you can end up. You think you've sat down to 0:08:04.570 --> 0:08:06.970 start the task you being procrastinating about, but really you've 0:08:06.970 --> 0:08:09.010 just been doing the busy work. It's like I did 0:08:09.050 --> 0:08:11.810 the formatting. I literally chose the font, and it's like, 0:08:12.330 --> 0:08:14.970 is that really did you really start or are you 0:08:15.050 --> 0:08:16.010 just choosing the font? 0:08:16.290 --> 0:08:17.730 Did you really start or are you just playing with 0:08:17.770 --> 0:08:18.770 your color palette? Yeah? 0:08:18.810 --> 0:08:19.170 Literally. 0:08:20.210 --> 0:08:22.370 But then one of the ones that actually I forgot 0:08:22.450 --> 0:08:25.850 to mention at the start that is so so basic 0:08:26.010 --> 0:08:28.370 and it's almost laughable that this is a tip, but 0:08:28.490 --> 0:08:32.090 it actually really really helps me sometimes as well, is 0:08:32.410 --> 0:08:35.410 just count down from five, Like when you get to zero, 0:08:36.170 --> 0:08:39.890 you just start like that's so good is just sitting 0:08:39.930 --> 0:08:42.290 there Like you're just sitting there going, oh, I can't. 0:08:42.330 --> 0:08:43.569 Then you get up and you're walking around and you 0:08:43.610 --> 0:08:44.650 get a cup of tea and then you're like, oh, 0:08:44.690 --> 0:08:46.650 I probably need a Wii. You go where you come 0:08:46.650 --> 0:08:49.929 back like pacing around. Sometimes it's like just count have 0:08:50.010 --> 0:08:52.010 from five and don't give yourself the option. When I 0:08:52.050 --> 0:08:55.130 get to zero, I'm starting like there's no choice. And 0:08:55.170 --> 0:08:58.090 suddenly you kind of can't procrastinate anymore because the countdown's 0:08:58.250 --> 0:09:01.250 counted down. You know, we're at zero. It's team out 0:09:01.250 --> 0:09:02.449 a zero. You got to do it. 0:09:02.730 --> 0:09:04.290 Oh my god, I'm going to try that next time 0:09:04.330 --> 0:09:07.890 because that sounds right up my alley. So whoever's procrastinating 0:09:07.890 --> 0:09:10.330 their work and listening to this episode right now, if 0:09:10.450 --> 0:09:13.130 you're going to stop, you're going to do one task 0:09:13.210 --> 0:09:14.570 and then you're going to come back and listen to 0:09:14.610 --> 0:09:18.770 the rest of the episode right now. Okay. Our second 0:09:18.850 --> 0:09:23.730 question comes from Carly in Newcastle, and she says, I've 0:09:23.770 --> 0:09:26.330 just started a new job and I'm desperate not to 0:09:26.410 --> 0:09:31.729 be the forgettable new person. Beyond bringing treats and smiling, 0:09:32.450 --> 0:09:35.690 what's one unexpected thing I can do to actually stand 0:09:35.730 --> 0:09:39.449 out and make genuine connections. The office already has a 0:09:39.490 --> 0:09:42.730 fun shirt guy and a sour dough lady. Help me 0:09:42.810 --> 0:09:47.130 find my workplace identity without trying too hard or being weird. 0:09:47.970 --> 0:09:50.250 Oh my god, this is really foye. 0:09:51.770 --> 0:09:54.290 I mean, Carly, I feel like you're doing so well 0:09:54.410 --> 0:09:57.690 even by caring about this, Like I love that you 0:09:57.730 --> 0:09:58.610 want to be memorable. 0:09:58.970 --> 0:10:02.570 I think also, like beyond bringing treats and smiling, like 0:10:02.690 --> 0:10:04.890 I'd love to be known as the girl who smiles, 0:10:04.890 --> 0:10:07.490 like the smiling girl, Like that's so sweet and I 0:10:07.530 --> 0:10:10.250 love joice everyone. 0:10:10.810 --> 0:10:14.610 Yeah, look, I think my best advice on this one 0:10:14.930 --> 0:10:18.650 is make it something you can sustain. Like I think 0:10:18.970 --> 0:10:21.929 it is easy to want to be like the fun 0:10:21.970 --> 0:10:24.210 shirt guy or the sour dough lady or find your thing, 0:10:24.930 --> 0:10:27.650 but don't force it if it's something that you're not, 0:10:27.890 --> 0:10:30.250 because then once you're the sourdough lady, you've got to 0:10:30.250 --> 0:10:34.209 bring sourdough for the rest of your time at that workplace. 0:10:34.250 --> 0:10:36.770 And that's expensive, right, Like you're also funding that, like 0:10:36.810 --> 0:10:39.050 it's a side hustle that you're getting nothing out of it. 0:10:39.170 --> 0:10:41.930 Like if you don't like making sourdo don't become the 0:10:41.930 --> 0:10:46.809 sourdough lady because everyone is going to expect it from you. 0:10:46.810 --> 0:10:48.930 You'll be memorable for the wrong reason if one day 0:10:48.970 --> 0:10:51.089 you start trying to charge them for the sowdough that 0:10:51.130 --> 0:10:54.330 you've been making this whole entire time. So main point 0:10:54.410 --> 0:10:56.810 number one is, don't become the sourdough lady unless you're 0:10:56.850 --> 0:11:00.370 really ready to commit. But point number two if you 0:11:00.410 --> 0:11:03.530 don't want to be the person who brings treats and 0:11:03.930 --> 0:11:06.929 kind of does something that you know it's kind of generic, 0:11:06.970 --> 0:11:10.170 but you want to be memorable to make connections. One 0:11:10.170 --> 0:11:13.090 thing that I always did, which I actually loved doing 0:11:13.130 --> 0:11:15.210 because it was really rewarding for me as well to 0:11:15.650 --> 0:11:18.130 learn interesting things about my colleagues that I otherwise wouldn't 0:11:18.970 --> 0:11:22.210 is to make notes or don't even need to write 0:11:22.210 --> 0:11:24.569 it down. But whenever someone mentions like, oh, I did 0:11:24.570 --> 0:11:26.610 that at golf on the weekend, or oh I did 0:11:26.610 --> 0:11:28.770 that with my dog because I love you know, I 0:11:28.890 --> 0:11:30.770 breed dogs, or my mom's a dog breeder, or I 0:11:31.010 --> 0:11:33.929 have a dog grooming business on the side, everyone will 0:11:34.010 --> 0:11:36.730 drop a little fun fact about themselves at some point, 0:11:37.450 --> 0:11:39.690 and instead of just bringing a random treat that's generated 0:11:39.730 --> 0:11:43.290 to everyone, Why don't you create some kind of thing 0:11:43.490 --> 0:11:45.490 that you do with that person, whether it's bring them 0:11:45.530 --> 0:11:47.730 a gift or send them a link to their email. 0:11:47.730 --> 0:11:50.090 When you see that there's like if they have Golden Retrievers, 0:11:50.090 --> 0:11:52.370 for example, you see an ad for the Golden Retriever 0:11:52.890 --> 0:11:54.730 meet up boy, Like I think there was one in 0:11:55.490 --> 0:11:58.570 Melbourne recently that was like the most Golden Retrievers ever 0:11:58.610 --> 0:12:00.810 in one spot and they said a Guinness World Record, Like, oh. 0:12:00.650 --> 0:12:03.010 My actual dream, Like that is what heaven looks. 0:12:02.770 --> 0:12:05.970 Like to me, legit, but like if someone says that 0:12:06.010 --> 0:12:07.809 to you, if you said that to me at work, 0:12:08.050 --> 0:12:09.650 then for me to send you back that link one 0:12:09.730 --> 0:12:11.450 day and say I saw this when I was like 0:12:11.490 --> 0:12:14.410 scrolling and it made me think of you. That's how 0:12:14.490 --> 0:12:16.890 I feel like you can create a really genuine connection 0:12:17.050 --> 0:12:19.290 that's so cute, or bring them in like a cute 0:12:19.410 --> 0:12:23.250 dog treat that's for their Golden Retriever, or you know, 0:12:23.290 --> 0:12:26.210 if it's a golfer, like next time there's a tournament 0:12:26.290 --> 0:12:28.530 coming out, just say oh I saw that there were 0:12:28.530 --> 0:12:30.290 tickets or whatever it is. I feel like there are 0:12:30.330 --> 0:12:32.170 ways that you can connect with someone and they will 0:12:32.210 --> 0:12:34.449 remember you like you don't have to be remembered by 0:12:34.570 --> 0:12:37.209 everyone is the same title. You don't want to be 0:12:37.250 --> 0:12:39.890 the entire officer's funshirt guy. You can just be the 0:12:39.930 --> 0:12:42.330 thoughtful person who remembered that I like, go on retrievers. 0:12:42.450 --> 0:12:44.050 I feel like that's a really cute way to do it. 0:12:44.210 --> 0:12:46.690 That's so nice. That's actually so good. And also like 0:12:46.970 --> 0:12:51.010 what people will love about you, Like I think even 0:12:51.050 --> 0:12:54.250 outside of the workplace, anyone that like has showed that 0:12:54.250 --> 0:12:56.410 they paid attention to what you said and listened and 0:12:56.530 --> 0:12:59.250 considered it and then thought of you when they saw 0:12:59.330 --> 0:13:02.210 this thing. It's just so so nice. It's such a 0:13:02.290 --> 0:13:05.570 good quality to have as a person in general. And 0:13:05.570 --> 0:13:08.330 I also want to say that, like people could just 0:13:08.450 --> 0:13:10.930 know you for just being kri like just being a 0:13:10.970 --> 0:13:13.970 really nice, good coworker. Like you don't have to have 0:13:14.010 --> 0:13:15.650 a stick or you don't have to have a thing, 0:13:16.210 --> 0:13:18.650 because I think like people should just know you as 0:13:18.690 --> 0:13:20.730 who you are as a person. Then they should know 0:13:20.890 --> 0:13:23.610 your name and just don't think too much into it 0:13:23.610 --> 0:13:24.850 because it would just come naturally. 0:13:25.250 --> 0:13:26.170 That's so true. 0:13:26.410 --> 0:13:29.730 Reminds me of oh my gosh, my terrible memory. Guys, 0:13:29.730 --> 0:13:31.329 if you've listened to a couple of episodes you'll not. 0:13:31.330 --> 0:13:32.770 I have a really bad memory, and I can never 0:13:32.810 --> 0:13:34.930 think of the powerful example that I'm going to remember it, 0:13:34.970 --> 0:13:39.250 like Midnight Tonight. But there's a TV show where someone's 0:13:39.290 --> 0:13:42.410 trying to manufacture their own nickname, and it's like, you 0:13:42.450 --> 0:13:45.410 can't give yourself the nickname, like you have to wait 0:13:45.450 --> 0:13:47.610 for it to come from what other people think of you. 0:13:47.730 --> 0:13:50.490 So I also think, don't try and manufacture the thing 0:13:50.490 --> 0:13:52.650 you remembered for, Like you said, just be who you 0:13:52.690 --> 0:13:55.809 are and let everyone decide the thing that they love 0:13:55.850 --> 0:13:57.809 about you. Like it's kind of nice to think that 0:13:58.570 --> 0:14:00.970 if other people around you were asked what's the most 0:14:01.010 --> 0:14:03.090 memorable thing about Carli, that they would have a different 0:14:03.130 --> 0:14:11.050 answer to what you might think, Like that's lovely about relationships. 0:14:13.490 --> 0:14:17.850 Our next question comes from Drew and she says this 0:14:17.970 --> 0:14:20.890 is all about how to navigate social media when you've 0:14:20.930 --> 0:14:23.970 joined a workforce. So she said, I'm being flooded with 0:14:24.010 --> 0:14:27.450 social media requests from older colleagues at my new job. 0:14:27.850 --> 0:14:31.050 I'm quite active on my personal account and prefer keeping 0:14:31.090 --> 0:14:34.490 work and personal life separate to complicate matters. I don't 0:14:34.490 --> 0:14:38.290 want to accept some colleagues requests while declining others they 0:14:38.290 --> 0:14:41.570 would know by now I've seen their requests. Help. What's 0:14:41.690 --> 0:14:44.850 the most professional way to maintain my social media boundaries 0:14:44.890 --> 0:14:48.650 without offending anyone? I actually have no answer for this. 0:14:48.850 --> 0:14:51.490 I love how it's older colleagues. 0:14:51.170 --> 0:14:52.570 If I left my job. 0:14:54.610 --> 0:14:56.690 Yeah, that's a really interesting one, and I think it's 0:14:56.730 --> 0:15:00.370 increasingly common because I don't know, a couple of years ago, 0:15:00.490 --> 0:15:03.090 even this wasn't an issue because you didn't really have 0:15:03.130 --> 0:15:05.010 social media. You didn't have to worry about that, and 0:15:05.010 --> 0:15:08.170 if there were connections, it was more professional anyway. 0:15:08.210 --> 0:15:08.890 It was like LinkedIn. 0:15:09.130 --> 0:15:14.170 So I think, as someone whose entire life is social media, 0:15:14.210 --> 0:15:16.810 including my career, like I'm probably not the most qualified 0:15:16.850 --> 0:15:19.050 to talk about the delineation of the two and keeping 0:15:19.050 --> 0:15:22.330 them separate. But when I was in corporate and I 0:15:22.370 --> 0:15:24.890 did want to keep my career and even my side 0:15:24.970 --> 0:15:27.370 hustle very separate, I didn't want anyone to know that 0:15:27.410 --> 0:15:29.090 we had started the business when we did, so I 0:15:29.130 --> 0:15:32.370 didn't tell anyone. You have two options. You can either 0:15:32.850 --> 0:15:36.930 create two and some people don't mind managing their work 0:15:36.970 --> 0:15:40.050 page and their personal page. But that's more if you 0:15:40.050 --> 0:15:42.210 have a business, and if you don't. If you're at 0:15:42.210 --> 0:15:44.250 a workplace, it's kind of a lot of effort to 0:15:44.290 --> 0:15:47.210 just create a separate personal It's like two life of 0:15:47.290 --> 0:15:49.810 ones with your work criens, and one isn't yeah, it's 0:15:49.890 --> 0:15:51.290 like yeah, literally, it's like a fin stu. 0:15:51.610 --> 0:15:55.050 I love this business so much, having a great day 0:15:55.090 --> 0:15:55.570 at work. 0:15:55.690 --> 0:16:00.450 Here's love extra learning, here's a financial review that I'm 0:16:00.490 --> 0:16:04.050 reading with my green juice. I think that's probably a 0:16:04.050 --> 0:16:06.650 bit much unless it's the case of having a business 0:16:06.690 --> 0:16:08.250 page in a personal page. 0:16:07.890 --> 0:16:10.490 And they've already had friend or requests from their personal 0:16:10.490 --> 0:16:12.970 page as well, so they, like the colleagues, have already 0:16:13.050 --> 0:16:16.250 established they found the personal page. 0:16:16.530 --> 0:16:19.290 And then I think in that situation, if you do 0:16:19.490 --> 0:16:22.410 come to a position with some of your work friends 0:16:22.450 --> 0:16:24.850 where you want them to be you're not your real friends, 0:16:24.890 --> 0:16:26.250 and you want to accept them, but you don't want 0:16:26.290 --> 0:16:28.490 to accept everyone, I think you are going to have 0:16:28.530 --> 0:16:30.850 to just accept that. You will probably offend some people, 0:16:31.010 --> 0:16:33.330 like if they are going to know that you haven't 0:16:33.370 --> 0:16:36.890 accepted their request but you still don't want them to 0:16:36.930 --> 0:16:39.530 be your friend. There's really no way around it. My 0:16:39.650 --> 0:16:43.210 big thing is just make clear rules for you on 0:16:43.290 --> 0:16:45.810 who's going to become a real life friend versus a 0:16:45.850 --> 0:16:48.970 work friend, and when you let people cross that boundary, 0:16:49.330 --> 0:16:51.610 people might get offended, but at least you know where 0:16:51.610 --> 0:16:53.690 you stand. It's like, well, but we're not friends, we 0:16:53.730 --> 0:16:55.770 don't hang out, Like is the rule that we've got 0:16:55.770 --> 0:16:57.530 to hang out outside of work? Is the rule that 0:16:57.770 --> 0:17:00.530 we do other activities? Could you justify it to them 0:17:00.570 --> 0:17:02.650 if they actually confronted you, like if they said, why 0:17:02.690 --> 0:17:05.850 didn't you accept my request? Could you actually say, well, 0:17:05.889 --> 0:17:08.529 because I have coffee with that person, I don't have 0:17:08.530 --> 0:17:10.689 coffee with you. Like, if you could justify it, then 0:17:10.730 --> 0:17:13.130 you shouldn't feel bad about it, even if they are offended. 0:17:13.370 --> 0:17:15.929 If you can't justify it, and it's simply because like 0:17:16.170 --> 0:17:18.129 I don't know, I don't like your fashion or something, 0:17:18.250 --> 0:17:19.890 then that's where it gets a little bit harder. 0:17:19.930 --> 0:17:20.770 But it's your page. 0:17:20.850 --> 0:17:23.290 You don't owe them anything, So in the end you 0:17:23.330 --> 0:17:25.090 probably just have to get comfortable with the fact that 0:17:25.130 --> 0:17:26.850 you might offend some people. But that's the same with 0:17:26.970 --> 0:17:29.010 everything in life. It's your page. You don't owe it 0:17:29.050 --> 0:17:29.610 to anybody. 0:17:30.010 --> 0:17:33.609 It's so true. But I could personally never I'd be like, 0:17:33.690 --> 0:17:37.050 I'll accept you right now, here's some money, take everything. 0:17:37.570 --> 0:17:41.850 No same. I mean, my other thing is I'm so 0:17:42.050 --> 0:17:45.649 curious that your colleagues would know that you'd accepted some 0:17:45.730 --> 0:17:48.930 people and not others, Like how would they know that? 0:17:48.930 --> 0:17:51.689 That's really interesting the level of forensic. 0:17:51.330 --> 0:17:54.210 If it was on Instagram and they went back Injury's profile, 0:17:54.250 --> 0:17:59.010 they would see followed by and then mutuals Oh yeah, okay. 0:17:59.090 --> 0:18:00.609 You probably could be confronted. 0:18:00.650 --> 0:18:03.409 You got to be brutal. Would someone actually ask you that. 0:18:03.930 --> 0:18:07.010 I don't think anyone would actually say, hey, you haven't 0:18:07.010 --> 0:18:09.690 accepted my friend request. But also I don't know who 0:18:09.850 --> 0:18:11.850 like these people, Like they could be like boomers who 0:18:11.850 --> 0:18:13.610 are just like think that it's all free for all. 0:18:13.690 --> 0:18:16.090 Like my mom is someone who would definitely be like, hey, 0:18:16.330 --> 0:18:18.050 you haven't accepted my friend request. 0:18:18.250 --> 0:18:21.410 Yeah, but my mom also thinks that like people's pages, 0:18:21.490 --> 0:18:24.929 like the newsfeed, she gets confused about what's public. Like 0:18:25.010 --> 0:18:26.970 sometimes she'd be like, oh, yeah, I thought that there 0:18:26.970 --> 0:18:29.330 was an update on the news or something. I'm like, no, 0:18:29.410 --> 0:18:31.610 that was a comment on someone else's wat Like, yeah, 0:18:31.650 --> 0:18:33.810 it's a messy. It's messy out there, guys. 0:18:33.609 --> 0:18:36.649 It's a messy. So be prepared to have the conversation. 0:18:36.730 --> 0:18:39.690 But also, if I just started a new job and 0:18:39.930 --> 0:18:42.050 all my colleagues suddenly wanted to be friends with me 0:18:42.090 --> 0:18:44.410 on social media. I'd be really excited about that. 0:18:44.650 --> 0:18:46.650 It's a compliment, for sure, it's so good. 0:18:46.690 --> 0:18:49.130 But that's just me and how I think about myself. 0:18:49.450 --> 0:18:50.850 That's a whole other thing to unpack. 0:18:51.810 --> 0:18:55.770 I also think, think about what you like posting, Like 0:18:55.850 --> 0:19:00.169 what do you use your social media for? And do 0:19:00.250 --> 0:19:02.570 you want to have to think every time you post 0:19:02.690 --> 0:19:03.850